NEW YEAR, NEW YOU, NEW BEGINNINGS
Hair Loss Solutions
3 Women Fired in 2013
HONOURING NELSON MANDELLA
EXCLUSIVE!
The Healthier Lifestyle
7 Natural Solutions For Dandruff
LOCS CAREER AND NATURAL LIFESTYLE FOR THE SAVVY INSPIRATIONAL WOMAN
Refreshingly Different www.zayunubydesign.com
CONTENTS NATURAL HAIR SALONS
TRIBUTES
REGULARS
WRITERS CORNER
FEATURES
BUSINESS & CAREER TALK
COMMUNITY VIBES
FROM THE EDITOR...
N
ew Year greetings and best wishes to all Conscious Vibes readers.
Here’s wishing that in 2014 you accomplish your dreams and desires for the year ahead! My advice is to take one step at a time; stick to your vision and don’t let any hurdles affect your desire to succeed. The key focus for this edition is ‘New Beginnings’. Two simple words with huge expectations… New beginnings can manifest in so many different ways, be it a new hairstyle, a relationship, healthy lifestyle, career, business or even bereavements. Unfortunately, in the latter part of 2013, two great men passed away. UK Comedian Felix Dexter and global peace icon Nelson Mandela. In this edition of the magazine we take a brief snapshot at their lives and go into 2014 adjusting to life without them but remembering what they have contributed to society, in a world where it’s difficult at times just to be! During my travels and conversations about the magazine, I have come across many women who are suffering from Alopecia or going through Chemotherapy and are in search of a natural looking weave or wig. I was pleased to discover a business offering a tailor made service for women to elevate themselves and relieve the stress and worries, this could add to their self-esteem. New hair, new fitness regime, eat healthy, enjoy the best relationship you can have (the one with yourself first) Career MOT, support to unleash the entrepreneurial spirit within you. It’s all in this edition of Conscious Vibes Magazine. Conscious Vibes will be a year this April and to celebrate, we will be hosting an Natural Hair, Beauty and Health Expo to celebrate the success of the magazine. The event will offer attendees the opportunity to shop and mingle with the diverse range of contributors to the magazine over the year. Sit back, relax and enjoy this edition of the magazine. I look forward to seeing you in person in April at our Expo
Angela Small ConsciousVibesM Conscious-Vibes
CONTRIBUTORS Share Their Views
New beginnings! “Begin today.
Greetings and blessings
Declare out loud to the universe that you are willing to let go of struggle and eager to learn through joy.”
Whilst considering 2013 many of us have had growth, both challenging and rewarding. Thinking these through can bring an epiphany; hopefully making sense of some of the teachings we have been privileged to. This edition, I hope will give clarity and ideas as you consider your options and choices for 2014.
Start as you mean to go on - how many times have you said that? The intentions are always good but the novelty tends to wear thin way too soon, so what are we going to do about it? Conscious Vibes can help, we have some very interesting stories this edition, in particular “writers corner – the healthier lifestyle” (page 42) and “new year new approach Love Yourself, and try and leave the issues behind!” (page 46), something we all should be concentrating on as I think this is the answer to a lot of things in life, if we get this right, the rest should just follow! Although we cannot go back and make a brand new start, we can start from now and make a brand new ending. I love the “Nelson Mandela” coverage, it is a marvellous read (page 57), if any story can give you incentive and courage to start anew this New Year, then it is a story of a wonderfully courageous man who fought and suffered for his beliefs. Wishes you all the best for 2014, and I hope you achieve all the goals you set for yourself, its never too late to follow your dreams and there’s no time like now to begin.
Your growth may have led you to question yourself and/or your career. Check out the Career and Business Talk pages to help bring about the confidence to make any change you feel necessary or clarity to know you are on the right track. I am five months into my TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro) now and so proud of my choice to go natural. One of my resolutions is to experiment more with my natural hair and maybe make it grow and try different natural hairstyles. I’ve been far too lazy! I hope you join me in trying out the many styles featured. Want to read more in 2014? Get some ideas on what to read by checking out the book club. Are you a film buff? The Black Cinema club (yep still going) will give you loads of choices. Tyler Perry’s Temptation is in my diary. Hope to see you at the expo in April. Blessed Love Maureen
NATURAL
HAIR SALON
UK
F
or as long as I can remember I had a dream, a dream to become a hair stylist. It was something, which was not encouraged as a young black man, but I could not envisage doing anything else with my future. So when I turned 16 (an adult in my own right), I followed my heart and started my career to become the hair stylist I had always dreamed about. I was naturally creative and through my initial years I worked on various types of hair where I gained my experience and knowledge and expertise. This gave me the incentive and courage to then make a decision to go in one direction and specialise in natural hair only. This for me was the way forward for black people, I have gained the experience and watched the changes and the growth over the years with natural hair, and we have certainly come a long way!
“ I have been working in the hair industry for 12 years now and I have had the pleasure of working with some of the top names whose guidance has encouraged and enhanced my unique way of working with hair! “
Locs Fortune Contacts: Tel: 077 8828 0581 Instagram: SAbigdread Facebook: locs.fortune
NATURAL HAIR SALON - UK
Hair by Locs Fortune
NATURAL HAIR SALON - UK
Hair by Locs Fortune
Hair by Locs Fortune
NATURAL HAIR SALON - UK
NATURAL HAIR SALON - UK
Hair by Locs Fortune
NATURAL HAIR SALON - UK
Hair by Locs Fortune
NATURAL HAIR SALON - UK
N styling.
atural hair has always been my passion, while working as a regular stylist in 2006 I completed a course in Braiding & Natural hair
I gain experience working for Jay at the Locs for Life salon based in Tottenham. Since then I have developed my own range of hair and body oils. I teach hair & beauty for Newham Adult Education and I will be teaching on the natural hair and loctician courses at Hair Lounge Studio in April (see contact details).
“ I am available for personal consultation, diagnostic evaluation of hair targeted for individuals. “
I offer styling for those with locs, natural hair and others who are making the transition from chemical process hair to natural.
Le Naturel Styling Contacts:
Loc extensions, colouring, interlocking, I offer styling for those with locs, natural hair and others who are making the transition from chemically processed hair to naturallable.
Carol J Clarke
Please contact Carol on 07984954431
Tel:Â 07956316036
Hair Lounge 441 Porters Avenue, Dagenham RM9 4ND
NATURAL HAIR SALON - UK
NATURAL HAIR SALON - UK
Le Naturel Styling
NATURAL HAIR SALON - UK
AFRICAN FASHION
Cocktail skirt
Photography: African Fashion Show
AFRICAN FASHION
Photography: African Fashion Show
AFRICAN FASHION
Patchwork design
Photography: African Fashion Show
AFRICAN FASHION
One shoulder
Photography: African Fashion Show
Photography: Glenn Benjamin | Stylist: Kelly Sealey Benjamin
AFRICAN FASHION
A-line skirt
AFRICAN FASHION
Holiday vibe
Photography: The Calabash Hub
AFRICAN FASHION
A F R I C A N F A S H I O N
Rah Rah dress
Photography: African Fashion Show
S H O W
AFRICAN FASHION
Fish Tail skirt
Photography: African Fashion Show
CAREER TALK
Time for a Career MOT
D
espite hating the cold weather and the long dark evenings, there is something that I love about the New Year. I love it because I see it as a new beginning. It is a chance to reflect on the previous year and what I have achieved, what I could have done differently and what lessons I have learned. I see it as an opportunity to carve out my goals and plans for a brand New Year.
the ways that you can do this is to continuously work on your self development by keeping your skills up to date. In a recent survey I conducted of 133 women aged 40-60, only 12% said that they continuously update their skills. Considering that fear and a lack of confidence is a major contributor to women not pursuing their career ambitions, outdated skills only serves to feed into these fears.
career MOT will allow you to take action before you become stuck in a rut or too unhappy Step out of your comfort zone I always advocate doing a and feel like you do not have the career MOT a couple of times a energy or confidence to make a If you are stuck in a comfort year and January is a good time change. zone and no longer find that to do this. It enables you to take your work is challenging, stock of your career and review So go on, check whether your staying where you are can have how things are going so that you spark plugs are in order or long term implications. It can do not end up stuck in a rut and whether you need a complete impact on your motivation, your unhappy at work. performance, your happiness, overhaul. relationships and even your Carrying out your career MOT Planning for the year ahead health. To carry out your career MOT, take an hour or so out of your busy schedule, get yourself a pen and notepad and reflect on the following questions:
Once you have done your career MOT, you can then plan what you want to achieve in the year ahead. Change is a constant and it is important that you keep yourself marketable should you • What is working well? need to make a career move or • What have you enjoyed be forced in to making a career doing? move through no choice of your • What scope is there for own. It is easy to get complacent development? at work and get into a comfort • What is not working? zone and before you know it, • How much do you look you are stuck in a rut. forward to going to work in the mornings? Business owners are constantly looking at their brand and how These are just a few examples they market their business. This of questions that you can ask should be the same with you yourself. Carrying out a regular regarding your career. One of
If you are not in a position to go for another job at the moment, look at what you can do to make what you do more enjoyable, more satisfying and more challenging. This could be taking on extra responsibilities; setting yourself personal, stretching, targets; doing more of the aspects of your role that you love; becoming the champion for a particular cause that you are passionate about within your. Moving on If you recognise that it is time for you to move on, create a plan for how you will achieve this.
CAREER TALK
Identify what it is that you REALLY want to do; identify what skills you have that are transferable and what skills you need to develop. Work out how you will go about developing those skills. Consider whether you want to continue working for someone else or whether you want to work for yourself and establish your own business. When looking at the organisations that you want to work for, check whether the values of the organisation align with yours. Most organisations have a values statement these days, however, this does not necessarily mean that they follow those values. The best way of finding out the true values of an organisation is to speak to those that do the work and to the customers. Find ways to network with those in the organisations that you are interested in. LinkedIn is a great tool to use for this. If you are looking to move in to a totally different field, look for industry specific networks and go to their events.
“If you know that you need to move on, do something about it. You do not want 2014 to come and go and you are still in the
If you want support with your career move, Pursuing Your Passion at Mid Life – Designing a Career You Love is a 7 week online programme starting 22 January 2014. This programme will help you identify what it is that you really want to do and address and overcome any fears or confidence issues. You will put together a career change action plan that will enable you to confidently pursue the career or business you really want. This programme is for you if any of the following apply: • • • • • • • •
You are unhappy at work You feel unfulfilled with your work You are facing job loss You are going through organisational restructuring You want to work authentically You want to leave employment and set up a business but are not sure what You want to make a career change but are unsure what to do You are fearful of making a career change
The cost of the programme is £497 but to enable you to get your career off to the best possible start for 2014, Conscious Vibes readers can get the programme at the discounted price of only £297. Go to"http://aboundingsolutions.com/ pursuing-passion-conscious-vibes for further details and to book your place.
Carol Stewart is a Personal Development, Career and Business Coach and the owner of Abounding Solutions. Further details about Carol and the work that she does can be found at Abounding Solutions. http://aboundingsolutions.com
BUSINESS TALK
Let Your Authentic Self Shine
I
don’t understand why each year when we make resolutions it has that surreal out of body feeling that you are attending an AA 12 Step Programme declaring your “this is it!” commitment to getting healthier; sorting out your finances; spending more time with your partner, family and friends or enrolling on that course you keep saying you want to do or dare I say it, starting your own business since your boss sucks and is getting on your last nerve! However, 4 weeks in, that transformational result has not manifested in your personal, professional and business and you revert back to your comfortable, secure habits that neither serve you nor make you feel great about the life path or choices that you have taken. And to make matters worse, you start avoiding the people who you made the declaration to out of embarrassment. But fear not, research is on your side. 92% of people who make resolutions will not achieve them. So in the words of Wadsworth Longfellow
Henry
“Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again. Wisely improve the present, it is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart.” Well what that does that mean for me (and you)? I hear you ask. This year I have made a commitment to work up close and personal with women to ensure they achieve massive breakthroughs in their business. Big deal, you say as you roll your
and simple haters. I wanted to unleash all my powerful learning’s; experience and talent in a way that was not restricted by the demands of funders and sponsors but what I think is missing from the business coaching and mentoring arena. It’s been a journey but when I think of new beginnings for 2014, I had to think of the way that I am going to be more authentic and true to my God given purpose. This means I want to unleash the eyes because, some of you will entrepreneurial spirit in women in say that I am already doing this a more bona fide way in this world through my networks and events. of celebrity obsession and instant gratification without embracing the Yes, I am but I want to work in process. Watching and emulating a different way to help women some fake reality star is not going banish the confusion in business to help you fulfil your purpose and so they can achieve laser sharp create a (sustainable) business focus; maximise their business that you love. performance and more importantly rack up the profits through my So if you want a new beginning and Business Mastery Programme want to work in a new way to realise which is only available at the newly your ambitions, purpose and launched www.soniabrown.co.uk. calling through business then join me at www.soniabrown.co.uk I have worked on a number of and let’s make 2014 a new projects recently; but what most beginning, because “there is no people didn’t realise was I have chance, no destiny, no fate, that spent over three years working on my Business Mastery Membership resolve of a determined soul” Programme because I wanted to – E W Wilcox work to a higher level to achieve my calling. Of course I will Here’s to your success. continue to champion the micro and small business owner, but I Sonia Brown MBE is an wanted to deliver something with entrepreneur, writer, uber more guts, passion and substance connector and business to a woman who was really serious advocator. With over 20 years about achieving greater success in marketing, branding and in their personal, professional and life skills development, Sonia business life. is an authority on many areas of business, leadership, When we talk about new diversity and branding. beginnings, I want you to know that I wanted a new way of working For further information for myself where i didn’t hold back visit www.soniabrown.co.uk because of the critics, soothsayers
Photography: The Calabash Hub
NATURAL VIBES
NATURAL VIBES
Photography: The Calabash Hub
Photography: The Calabash Hub
NATURAL VIBES
NATURAL VIBES
Photography: The Calabash Hub
NATURAL VIBES
Opening Times:
Monday - Thursday 10-7pm Friday - Saturday 10 - 8pm Sunday closed all day
658 High Road Tottenham London N17 OA8
For Medically Related Hair Loss
A
aisha Knights, CEO of Dream Tresses talks about how natural looking wigs can help those suffering from hair loss due to alopecia or cancer treatment. India Arie said the famous words in her song “I am not my hair” while she is absolutely right, for many women (and men) hair means a lot and often determines our sense of well-being. Hair loss through alopecia or even chemotherapy can happen at any point of our lives. This condition can have quite a traumatic effect on the way we feel about ourselves and our self-esteem. I can attest to that personally as my hair fell out once after a bad dye job after attempting to put permanent colour over my relaxed hair (I know, I know – daft). I wore a baseball cap everyday for six months until my hair grew out!
According to the Belgravia Centre hair loss clinic, hair loss affects 50% of women; 60% of hair loss sufferers would rather have more hair than money or friends and hair loss is the body issue that most women surveyed felt would make them less attractive to men.
Indian Wavy
In the brave new World of 2014 many ladies are confident enough to walk around rocking their short teeny weeny afro crops or even bald, however, not everybody is that brave. Further to the point not everyone can be like Lupita Nyong’o who has amazing bone structure to pull off the look. This is where a custom made natural looking wig can help. Part of the Dream Tresses philosophy and raison d’être is to provide high-quality luxury hair extensions for our customers. This isn’t to just flog the popular Brazilian, Peruvian, Malaysian and any other-ian hair, but also to cater to those out there who want a natural kinks, curls and waves that would not be out of place growing from their scalps. As a self-confessed “weaveologist” myself that has been doing hair extensions and making wigs for over 10 years now, I have been obsessed with finding hair solutions that look like Afro-Caribbean hair. The wig I am wearing as I am writing this article is our Afro Kinky Curly hair on a custom made u-part wig that is regularly mistaken for my own hair. Custom lace wigs are also within the Dream Tresses remit as well as simple clip in tracks of hair for the commitment phobes reading.
Loose Kinky Curly
Consultation is important, so I will always try to meet my clients in person to talk about their custom wig needs, measure heads and then take around 7 days to
For those who want to find out more, send us your questions and comments on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Aaisha.Knights@KPMG.co.uk www.facebook.com/dreamtresses Twitter: @DreamTressesUK Instagram: @dreamtressesuk
Kinky Curly
LOCs-in Natural Around Town
nd u o r ed a hair! p p na ral s u t n a bee heir n s ’ ho ing t w e Se , rock n tow
BE FEATURED IN THE NEXT ISSUE
Show off your natural hair in the next issue by sending us a picture to:
info@consciousvibes.co.uk www.conscious-vibes.co.uk facebook.com/ConsciousVibesMagazine twitter.com/consciousvibesM
1. Drink more water
Neno Natural Connect with Neno Natural
@ NenoNatural
2. Crush a couple of aspirins and stir them into your shampoo
3. Wash your hair with baking soda rather than shampoo
LongHealthyHair
4.
Add honey to your conditioner
5.
Rinse your hair in lemony water
6. Rinse your hair in apple cider vinegar (ACV) This is an alternative to the lemon rinse. After your wash and condition routine, mix 100 ml of ACV with 1 litre of water and rinse your hair with the solution.
7. Add rosemary essential oil to all your hair products. Rosemary essential oil is one of the ingredients in Neno Natural’s Hair Growth Stimulator. It helps to treat dandruff because it has antibacterial properties. You can also add 10 to 12 drops of rosemary essential oil to 30 ml (1 oz) of your favourite oil and massage it into your scalp.
Visit neno natural website at:
www.nenonatural.com
WRITERS CORNER
Get Your Personalised Plan for 2014
T
he holiday season has come and gone and now it’s a new year! Many people have decided that this is the year when they are going to get that summer body they have always wanted - does that sound familiar? You may be one of them! I for one have been guilty of trying fad diets, fasting and the occasional
“I’m not going to have sugar for a month, because you never know, I may
In a society that values instant gratification over process, it is common that our feelings of frustration and failure are perpetuated by the inability to appreciate the time it takes to get healthy. Cue the weight loss process: consuming salads, high protein - low carbs, banishing sugar & drinking meal-replacement shakes.
Weight-Loss vs A Healthy Lifestyle Many of us are guilty of being weight-loss focused for that holiday or special occasion. Imagine what life would look like choosing to have a healthier lifestyle with weightloss being a secondary consequence of our choices. The principle of sowing and reaping is true - if we sow poorly, it is inevitable that we will reap poorly. The good news is we can start today by making a decision to turn the ship of our health.
The Journey To maintain a healthy lifestyle is an ideal for most people. We start out with the best intentions, however fail with our ‘game plan’. It can be a challenge, but it is achievable. It will take being honest with yourself, setting obtainable goals, making healthy food choices & good nutrition to get you there.
How Do I Start? Choose one aspect, set a goal - keep it specific. Break down the overall goal into smaller goals, write them down. Stick to it. Find like minded people - a fitness/health coach, relative, friend or colleague to be accountable to.
Get Active Find creative ways to keep engaged. For example assign exercises to day-to-day actions. On every bathroom visit do 30 squats or every time you go to the kitchen do standing press ups in addition to other forms of exercise.
Stay Motivated What things can you do to motivate yourself? Plan meals, give yourself one ‘reward day’ a week. Read articles, youtube videos, health documentaries, set reminders on your phone to encourage you at specific times of the day!!
Find Products That Work The Ultimate Body Applicator has helped me on my journey to achieve a flatter, firmer, toned and tightened abdomen, back and arms in as little as 45 mins.
Greens* - is a blend of 38 herbs and nutrient-rich “superfoods” that provide vitamins & minerals. Detoxifies & alkalizes the body and is the equivalent to 8+ servings of fruits and vegetables in each serving.
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material and offers a gentle way to cleanse the colon. Supports healthy liver and gallbladder function & is safe and gentle (no urgency effect).
* - promotes increased calorie burning. Helps boost metabolic rate. Reduces appetite, provides energy and has antioxidant benefits of acai berry. * - Simply take Fat Fighters up to an hour after eating and it will absorb some of the fat and carbohydrates from your food so that your body doesn’t.
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Imagine what optimum health would look like! Take the first step by answering the questions below:
1. What is your goal? How will you achieve this goal? What have you done so far towards achieving it? What is your main concern about the goal/challenge?
2. What could you do that would move you one step closer to obtaining your goal? 3. What support do you need? Let me help coach you to health. Join ‘The Healthier Lifestyle Challenge’ to get your personalized plan, one-on-one coaching and exclusive product discounts. Email: info@enjoyahealthierlifetoday.com to change your life TODAY!
Cherlene ‘CeCie’ Wilson is an International Health & Life Coach using a wholistic approach. Her passion in life is to help people ignite their dreams, empower them to live a healthier life and to coach men/women through the effects of sexual abuse, into complete health & wellbeing. www.enjoyahealthierlifetoday.com Twitter: @cherlenewilson Instagram: Cherlenewilson
BLACK CINEMA CLUB
Focusing on the positivity of our images in film Film Friday’s @ Mella Centre, 73 Oxford Street, W1D 2EP Tel: 07718340682 Date
Trailer
Synopsis
Showing Time
IDLEWILD (2006)
Friday 3rd January 2014
see trailer
Director: Bryan Barber Writers: Bryan Barber, Percival Jenkins, Scott Sanders Genre: Period musical Starring: André Benjamin; Big Boi; Paula Patton; Terrence Howard; Cicely Tyson; Macy Gray; Patti LaBelle Running time: 121 min Cert: PG Set in the Prohibition-era American South, where a speakeasy performer and club manager Rooster must contend with gangsters who have their eyes on the club while his piano player and partner Percival must choose between his love, Angel or his obligations to his father.
Doors open 7pm Movie starts 8pm
INTOUCHABLES (2011) Subtitled
Friday 10th January 2014
see trailer
Director: Olivier Nakache, Eric Toledano Writers: Olivier Nakache, Eric Toledano Genre: Drama, Comedy Starring: François Cluzet, Omar Sy, Anne Le Ny Running time: 112 min Cert: 15 In Paris, rich, quadriplegic, aristocratic and intellectual Philippe interviews candidates to become his carer. Suddenly, Driss cuts the line of candidates and brings and asks Phillipe to sign a document from the Social Security in order to receive his unemployment benefit. Philippe challenges Driss, offering him a trial period of one month to gain experience helping him. Driss accepts the challenge and moves into the mansion, changing the boring life of Phillipe and his employees
Doors open 7pm Movie starts 8pm
THINGS FALL APART (2011)
Friday 17th January 2014
see trailer
Director: Mario Van Peebles Writers: 50 Cent, Brian A Miller Genre: Drama Starring: 50 Cent, Ray Liotta, Lynn Whitfield Running time: 84 min Cert: 15 Deon’s promising football career as a running back is interrupted during his senior year in college. He learns to cope with it, whilst the course of both his love life and family relationships try to cope with the strain of supporting him.
Doors open 7pm Movie starts 8pm
You are advised to check our listings prior to attendance as these are subject to change. Please go to www.meetup.com/black-cinema-club for more accurate information Date & time of print 13th December 2013, 15:21
Date
Trailer
Synopsis
Showing Time
35 & TICKING (2011)
Friday 24th January 2014
see trailer
Director: Russ Parr Writers: Russ Parr Genre: Comedy, Romance Starring: Tamala Jones; Nicole Ari Parker; Kevin Hart; Meagan Good; Dondre Whitfield; Clifton Powell; Keith Robinson Running time: 84 min Cert: 15 The struggles and triumphs of four friends as they try to figure out the direction of their lives as they approach their mid-thirties. Romance blooms in unexpected places whilst on their individual & collective journeys of self-discovery.
Doors open 7pm Movie starts 8pm
SCHOOL DAZE (1988)
Friday 31st January 2014
see trailer
Director: Spike Lee Writers: Spike Lee Genre: Satire, Musical Starring: Laurence Fishburne, Giancarlo Esposito, Tisha Campbell-Martin Running time: 121 min Cert: 19 A not so popular young man wants to pledge to a popular fraternity at his historically black college. The clashing of frat & sorority ideologies sets the backdrop for Spike Lee’s second feature length movie which issues of colourism and wannabe become hotly contested
Doors open 7pm Movie starts 8pm
LAST SUNDAY OF THE MONTH @ Black Grape, 268 West Green Road, Tottenham, London N15 3QR Tel: 0771834682 THINGS FALL APART (2011) Director: Mario Van Peebles Writers: 50 Cent, Brian A Miller Genre: Drama Starring: 50 Cent, Ray Liotta, Lynn Whitfield Running time: 84 min Cert: 15 Deon’s promising football career as a running back is interrupted during his senior year in college. He learns to cope with it, whilst the course of both his love life and family relationships try to cope with the strain of supporting him.
Sunday 26th January 2014
see trailer
Doors open 6pm Movie starts 7pm
WRITERS CORNER
Love Yourself and Try and Leave The Issues Behind! Earlier in the year I attended a relationship conference-it was entitled How to Find a Good Black Man - Redefining Relationships. There seems to have been a lot of relationship-focused events recently. I have been privileged on two further occasions this year, to have contributed to panel discussions, again, putting this challenging social enigma under the spotlight. Evidently, when it comes to relationships-everyone has an opinion! Putting aside for now the whole issue of How to find a Good Black Man, since that deserves an article all of its own! For me the conference got me thinking that all this focus on intimate-male-female relationships is rather futile, if we don’t address the critical issues about how we relate to self. We should find a safe space to discuss, reflect, analyze, unpick and try to understand our life experiences, the impact this has had on us and how this might consciously or subconsciously manifest in our current relationships. We can then begin to learn new skills and behaviors that will enhance future encounters. Both my professional practice and personal experience suggest to me that some of us struggle to relate to our self, relationships with friends are often fractured and don’t get me talking about some of these toxic, often intergenerational, dysfunctional family relationships. Trust me I know! Some of this is as a result of early trauma and other unresolved matters. I can hear you saying, so what if I’m already in a committed relationship, but it just isn’t all that it can be? Well I’m not suggesting you end it immediately. You will be the best judge of that.
But what I’m proposing is that as we approach another new year, it is timely to begin to take a few brave steps towards-a fresh start. This could easily apply to a fresh new job or other key life changing events. It could mean renewing and strengthening your existing relationship-including that with your self, making greater efforts to obtain and maintain a relationship or breaking away from something which isn’t nurturing and helping you to grow and be the best that you can be. I know we’ve heard a lot about new years resolutions at this time of the year-and how quickly do these get broken. But placing the emphasis back on you is not only a good dose of self-indulgence it’s a great way to take control of your new future. After all, we cannot change other people, but making even the most minor adjustments to your behavior can pay dividends in terms of the impact on your relationships with others, how you are perceived and ultimately how you feel inside. Thecoupleconnection.net suggest what I believe are five goals that should stand you in good stead for 2014. Letting go of the past; developing your emotional intelligence; think positive; setting and sharing your goals; and making a compromise. I’d add to these goals effective communication. Psychologist, Dr Cordelia Galgut stresses the importance of talking about how we feel in her book Emotional Support Through Breast Cancer (Published by Radcliffe, 2013). Although it focuses its attention on the lived experience of breast cancer and all of the associated emotional impact, her narrative around relationships is relevant more widely. She states that, “as adult human beings, most of us seldom say how we feel-most of us have been taught not to!” As a result she concludes and this
is important in the context of relationships, that people begin to develop unspoken or what I’d call hidden agendas.
“Things we think and (C. Galgut, 2013) These hidden agenda can be all the more intense and problematic of course if individuals are experiencing current and active or longer term suppressed trauma.
However, talking to trusted friends, relatives, developing a vision board which sets out in your chosen format where you want to get to and how you’re going to do it or recording your thoughts and feelings in a journal are all good habits to begin 2014 with. It’s never going to be easy and our old frienemy fear (False Evidence Appearing Real), often has a way of presenting itself when we contemplate brave new decisions, but as the late and great inspirational leader Nelson Mandela said,
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear”
So what am I getting at in all this? My suggestion is that future workshops and panel debates focus on how we can become our best selves, since most of us are under-construction in one way shape or another. Rather than spending an enormous amount of time talking and thinking about how to get a relationship and wondering why so many black women in their 30’s and 40’s appear to be single; and of course how to find a good black man-whilst these issues have validity and there’s no shortage of people wanting to discuss them, as we approach a new year, lets begin to explore what ingredients we need to develop a greater sense of Let me know how it goes! self awareness, acknowledging and addressing trauma and practicing some of the new behaviors I mentioned above in our goal setting/new year resolutions. Here’s a reminder: 1.
Letting go of the past
2.
Developing your emotional intelligence
3.
Think positive
4.
Setting and sharing your goals
5.
Making a compromise
Sandra Miller is a trained Integrative Counselor, PG Dip Counseling & Psychotherapy (MBACP) with a particular interest and commitment to working with people of African origin. She is also an experienced, qualified and registered social work practitioner (HCPC), MBA.
6.
Effective communication
Contact details:
Not everyone wants to or indeed has the means for paid counseling. But for those who can this is a good and effective option to explore and find solutions to a range of psychological concerns.
Email: Black4Good@hotmail.com Tel: 07956 860 179
HEALTHY EATING RECIPE
Red Red Ghanaian Bean Stew INGREDIENTS 2 Medium-sized white onions 6 Large tomatoes 2 Teaspoons of red pepper powder 1 Cup of Palm oil 4 Cups of black-eyed beans
PREPARATION 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11.
Rinse and soak beans in water and leave overnight Drain and rinse beans Add hot water to beans and simmer on medium heat for 2 ½ hrs Dice 1 onion and blend with tomatoes Heat Palm oil on medium-high for about 6 minutes Add diced onions and pepper to heated oil and let simmer for 3 minutes Add Ÿ cup of water to frying onions and let it simmer for 3 minutes Add blended tomato mix to frying onions and let sauce cook for 30 minutes Add cooked beans to sauce and let it simmer on low heat 30 minutes Add salt to taste Serve with Fried Plantain or Tatale and Gari
They are available to buy in person from or online
keithpalmer@thecomedyschool.com
ORDER TICKETS NOW!
For further information Please contact: Keith Palmer, Director, on: 020 7486 1844
www.thecomedyschool.com
O
nce named Time Out Comedian of the Year, Felix Dexter was born on 10th February in Saint Kitts in the Caribbean. He moved to Surrey with his family at the age of seven. He studied Law at University College London and began training as a barrister before embarking on a career in comedy. A pioneer of black comedy, his many, varied and very, very funny television and radio credits include: Down The Line, Bellamy’s People, Absolutely Fabulous, Have I Got News For You, Knowing Me Knowing You with Alan Partridge, The Lenny Henry Show, The Real McCoy and, most recently, Citizen Khan, the second series of which he was screening when he died. Felix also starred on stage opposite Hollywood actor Christian Slater in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, as well as spending a season performing with the Royal Shakespeare Company. A modest and private man he died after a long and dignified struggle with myeloma, a type of bone marrow cancer. The event is being organised by Paulette Randall who worked as Associate Director alongside Danny Boyle to bring the spectacular London’s Olympic Opening Ceremony to the big stage in 2012, watched by a reported billion viewers worldwide. The first black British woman to direct a play in London’s West End, her very first prize-winning play Fishing was directed by Boyle at the Royal Court in 1982. She went on to produce a host of television successes including Desmond’s and The Real McCoy and has directed smash-hit musicals, Shakespeare and new writing in London and elsewhere. She was chair of the Clean Break Theatre Company and is former artistic director of the Talawa Theatre Company.
BOOK CLUB
Welcome to The First Book Club Review We will be reviewing books that have an interest to our CONSCIOUS VIBES readers. So to start we have something old and something new, here are three good books that should be in your home. Tony Davis Title Ode To Miss Lou Autthor Dr Sue Publisher Words2Print Media Group Price $14.99 / ~ £ 9.09 Reviewed by Tony Davis
Title Black Britain: A Photographic History Autthor Paul Gilroy Publisher Saqi Books Price £16.79 Reviewed by Tony Davis
Louise Simmone Bennett Coverley , know to Jamaica and the world as MISS LOU, is beloved for her pionneering efforts to advance and promote caribbean and african and primarily Jamaica folk culture.
The ordinary lives of people of African,caribbean,British and other cultures are captured here in a photographic history this wonderfull book take you back to a time when some of the first caribbean immigrant came to Britain.
Auther Susan Lycett Davis aka DR Sue shows how these fifty poems honoring her jubilee birthday take you to the soul of Jamaica and the joy of poems, with a foreword by Oliver Samuels this book is a hit.
Please show this book to your family , let the kids see how our history came to be in this country.
Title Equiano’s Daughter: The Life and Times of Joanna Vassa Autthor Angelina Osborne Publisher Krik Krak Publishing Price £ 7.21 Reviewed by Tony Davis Olaudah Equiano the african was the father of Joanna Vassa who remarkable achievement adds another ripple in the trail of a great man. This book honours the legacy of the abolish, the transatlantic slave trade and the life of EQUIANO’S DAUGHTER. THIS IS 19th CENTURY BRITAIN!
Let your people know we have been in the UK from Romen times.
C U LT U R A L FA S H IO N
NICOLE A OPRAH
ALICIA KEY
RI
PARKER
Celebrities
S
ESTELLE
ELLE VARNE
NICKI MINAJ
Rocking African Print
THANDIE NE
SOLANCE WTON
Honouring 95 Years Of an Incredible Man
Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela 18 July 1918 - 5 December 2013
Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela was one of thirteen children born to Gadla Henry Mphakanyiswa, and Nosekeni Fanny on 18 July 1918 in the small village of Mvezo, on the Mbashe River, district of Umtata in Transkei, South Africa. His Father named him Rolihlahla, which means “pulling the branch of the tree”, or more colloquially “troublemaker.” The name Nelson was not teacher, in accordance with the custom to give all school children “Christian” names. He was a bright young man, completing his three and went on to secondary school. At 16 he underwent the traditional Thembu boys’ initiation. Nelson Mandela began his studies for a Bachelor of Arts degree at the University College of Fort Hare but did not complete the degree there as he was expelled for joining in a student protest. He later completed his BA through the University of South Africa and went back to Fort Hare for his graduation in 1943. His father, a counsellor to the Thembu royal family, died when Mr Mandela was a child, and he was placed in the care of the acting regent of the Thembu people, chief Jongintaba Dalindyebo. He joined the African National Congress president of the ANC Youth League. Nelson Married three times and had six children. He fathered four children by his Madikizela. He also had 17 grandchildren and many great-grandchildren
On 5 December 1956, Nelson Mandela was arrested alongside most of the ANC until 1961, was a turning point in the history of the ANC as it marked the beginning of the ascendance of a younger generation – the Mandelas, the Tambos – who embraced armed resistance as the surest way to overthrow apartheid. The case resulted in 150 acquittals.
In 1962 Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for opposing Africa’s policy of racial separation He served over 27 years in prison, initially on Robben Island, and later in Pollsmoor Prison.
Nelson Mandela’s reputation grew over the world while in jail. He became the two were taken by a fellow prisoner and smuggled out. The photograph to the left shows him repairing his prison cloths in 1966 at Robben Island. prison courtyard. Nelson Mandela was ‘kept busy’ performing hard labor in a mine quarry. He ‘kept himself busy’ studying law through continued correspondence with the University of London through the external program and received a degree of Bachelor of Laws. He remained at Robben Island for 18 of his 27 years spent in prison.
Nelson Mandela
imprisonment on Robben Island
Letter are extracts From Fatima Meer's authorized biography of Mandela, Higher Than Hope
Nelson Mandela walked through a prison gate to freedom Sunday 11 february 1990 setting off joyous celebrations and violent clashes as black South Africans welcomed their leader back after 27 years in jail.
of supporters who had waited for hours outside, many of them waving green, gold Mandela. The decision to free Mandela, after a prolonged international campaign on his announcing other reforms aimed at clearing the way for black-white negotiations.
Nelson Mandela became president on 10th May 1994 . The African National Congress (ANC) won 62% of the votes in the election, and Mandela, as leader of the
He served as president to 1999, before stepping down voluntarily.
Nelson Mandela
NELSON SHARES HIS AND TOUCHES THE
S HEART WORLD
5th December 2013 Nelson passes away peacefully at his home in Houghton, Johannesburg, South African.
memorials.
“the nation has lost its greatest son” “He is now resting. He is now at peace.”
“extraordinary man whose journey from prisoner to president had inspired the world, as well as him personally.”
Nelson Mandela
CLASSIC HAIRSTYLES
Madame C.J. Walker.
Pearl Bailey
Women Born in the same era as Nelson Mandela, who have left a lasting impact on our history Billie Holiday
Sarah Vaughn
Josephine Baker
Rosa Parks
Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee
Princess Kouka of Sudan
Madame CJ Walker In 1905, launched a revolutionary black hair care line ‘the first hair relaxer’. The straightener forever changed Black hairstyling. Pearl Mae Bailey was an American actress and singer She won a Tony Award for the title role in the all-black production of Hello, Dolly! in 1968 Ossie davis and Ruby Dee. Famous husband and wife actors, producers, writers and activists. Princess Kouka of Sudan Played a character named “Gara” in a movie with Paul Robeson. It was released in 1937 and called “Jericho. Billie Holiday legendary jazz singer, best know for lady sings the Blues Sarah Vaughan was a Jazz singer described as having “one of the most wondrous voices of the 20th century.
Dorothy Dandridge
Josephine Baker was an American-born French dancer, singer, and actress who came to be known in various circles as the “Black Pearl Dorothy Dandridge was the first African-American actress to be nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress in a Leading Role for Carmen Jones In 1959 Rosa Parks; One seemingly simple act of bravery in 1955 on a Montgomery bus eventually led Parks to the forefront of national attention, giving way to a number of improvements in the lives of ordinary African Americans. Dorothy Height was a civil rights and women’s rights activist focused primarily on improving the opportunities for AfricanAmerican women. She drew young people into her cause in the war against drugs.
Dorothy Height
3 More African American Woman Made a Stand for their Hair Choices Rhonda Lee
Farryn Johnson
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/LWYN7Z9
Ashley Davis, Melphine Evans
Ashley
Ashley
Please write in and share your experience or comments on any of these cases.
NATURAL
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MODEL Makeba Grezette STYLIST Kelly Sealy-Benjamin PHOTOGRAPHER Glenn Benjamin
SALON ADDRESS Nubian Naturals Hibiscus Drive Husbands, St. James Barbados, West Indies
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Proudly Presents their 16th Annual