THE SPRING STYLE ISSUE LOOK
BETTER
A P R I L
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2 0 1 4
FEEL
BETTER
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KNOW
MORE
S H A R P F O R M E N . C O M
CHRIS
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KEEP COOL IN THE DESERT STAY DRY IN A SQUALL AND LOOK DAMN FINE THE REST OF THE TIME MONEYPUCK:
WILL STATS
RUIN
EVANS NIGHT OF THE LIVING DAD PROTECTING YOUR CHILDREN FROM
HOCKEY?
CAPTAIN KILL AMERICA YOURSELF
HOW TO NOT
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SPRING • SUMMER 2014 EDITION THE ESSENTIAL REFERENCE FOR THE DISCERNING MAN
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SHARP | EDITOR'S LETTER
COMING TO TERMS
LAST SUMMER, in a series of events I have since euphemistically attributed to “Having Too Much Fun” I fractured my ankle. It had been a beautiful day, that is, up until that single lucid instant in which the world slowed down, the ground hurtled towards my face, and I had the thought, “That didn’t feel right.” The days that followed saw my foot and ankle balloon to the size of my calf, turning a rainbow of fashionable colours—mustard, aubergine, dark navy.
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about your fragility. One moment you can be running after a Frisbee with a beer in your hand, the next, you’re figuring out how to descend a flight of stairs without doing further damage to other delicate bits of your skeleton. (The trick was to do it sitting down— elegant it was not.) Men in particular are at odds with our bodies. We take for granted what we’ve got and feel betrayed when it fails us— and it inevitably does. In this issue’s Guide to Aging we explore this topic at length, most notably in Greg Hudson’s account of coming to terms with his body’s limitations (without necessarily accepting them). None of us are as young as we used to be. None of our bodies are as lithe or strong or resilient as they once were. Hangovers are worse. We take longer to heal. Of course those are just the bad things, and say nothing of the satisfaction of growing into ourselves, learning from our mistakes, and, with any luck, having a good story to tell when all is said and done. JEREMY FREED Editor-In-Chief
@MRJEREMYFREED LETTERS@CONTEMPOMEDIA.CA
SHARP IS ON THE AIR The Sharp Magazine Show is now on SiriusXM Canada Talks (channel 167) every Sunday at 8pm. Hosted by myself and Ward Anderson (of SiriusXM’s Ward and Al), it’s yet another chance to enjoy everything you love about Sharp, in a funny, conversational format. You can also download all of the episodes at sharpformen.com/sharpshow.
P H O T O : M AT T B A R N E S
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I was prodded and X-rayed. My lower leg was wrapped in plaster. I was given crutches and shown how to hobble around on them. For the first time in my life, I was injured. As to why I’d never broken, sprained or fractured anything in my 30-odd previous years I can only say I’ve been very lucky (although not playing sports probably helped). Not being fully mobile was something to which I’d never given any thought, something that had existed only in the abstract, which happened to others but couldn’t possibly happen to me. And yet, there I was, laid low, humbled, trying to open doors with my elbows and unable to do simple things like carry a glass of water across a room—which is basically impossible with a crutch in each hand. One learns things from navigating the world with a visible disability, albeit a temporary one. You learn first that strangers feel your crutches and cast are an open invitation to tell you about their medical histories. Perhaps your limited mobility assures you won’t be able to run away. I heard stories of icy sidewalks, painful surgeries, and one unfortunate woman done in by an errant grape on a supermarket floor. More than anything, though, you learn
CONTENTS APRIL 2014 | VOL.7 | ISSUE 1
ELISABETH MOSS pg. 102
FEATURES 64
CHOWING DOWN IN CHI-TOWN Jacob Richler ventures far beyond the deep-dish (and takes copious notes) in his quest for the finest meal in Chicago.
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CHRIS EVANS, AMERICAN
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IN PRAISE OF THE CRAZY (SEXY) CAT LADY As we prepare to bid farewell to Peggy Olson (along with the rest of the Sterling Cooper & Partners crew), we welcome the promise of getting to know Elisabeth Moss a little better.
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THE SHARP GUIDE TO AGING Does getting old have to be a bad thing? We say no. Here’s what some of Canada’s finest minds (and George Hamilton) have to say about how to live longer, better, healthier and with a wicked tan.
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SPRING STYLE 114
DESERT CASUAL Bright hues and bold patterns make as much of a statement against the dramatic vistas of Nevada’s Red Rock Canyon as they will at your buddy’s backyard BBQ.
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HOW TO WEAR DESIGNER Runway fashion can be confusing, even to the stylish man. These nine looks pack just as much substance as swagger.
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STAY DRY, KEEP COOL There’s no reason to let a drizzly day hamper your style. We pick the season’s finest trenches, macs and slickers.
P H O T O B Y A R I M I C H E LS O N
You know Captain America. But, you might not know the man behind the shield. You will though. And not just because your wife keeps wanting you to work out like he does.
CONTENTS APRIL 2014 | VOL.7 | ISSUE 1
DESERT CASUAL
GUIDE
pg.114
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WISDOM Celebrity confidante (and sometimes comedian) Marc Maron takes us on a tour of his podcast empire.
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A WELCOME INTRODUCTION Alexandra Daddario is one of the best reasons to watch HBO’s True Detective. And that’s really saying something.
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FILM How Captain America: The Winter Soldier directors Joe and Anthony Russo made us care about superhero movies.
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STYLE The 10 most important things happening in spring fashion right now. Plus: gold watches for the style-savvy man.
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BOOKS The Bend of the World is the debut novel you should be reading this spring. Especially if you love Pittsburg. (And who doesn’t?)
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HEALTH Shred smarter: push your limits without destroying your body.
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Another posthumous Johnny Cash album offers a glimpse into the Man in Black’s troubled soul.
In an effort to be a better dad, Shaughnessy Bishop-Stall prepares for the zombie apocalypse.
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FATHERHOOD
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VICES
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Made by hand in small batches, these boutique Canadian spirits will enliven your spring cocktail repertoire.
With help from A-list hitmaker Pharrell Williams, a new exhibition reveals the world of high-end vinyl toys.
DESIGN
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AUTOS
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With memories of teardropshaped eco-hybrids fading, we test-drive the mean, green Porsche 918. Plus: why BMW’s electric i3 is the smartest car ever.
Can the NHL go the Moneyball route? Nick Hune-Brown explores if numbers will ruin Canada’s game.
SPORTS
P H O T O B Y M AT T D O Y L E
MUSIC
SHARP | MAN ABOUT TOWN
JOHN VARVATOS ROCKS TORONTO JOHN VARVATOS RECENTLY OPENED ITS FIRST Canadian location, a Bowery concept store based on the retail space in NYC that once housed the legendary punk venue CBGB. Varvatos himself was on hand for the opening, signing copies of his newest book, Rock in Fashion. Guests then christened the new venue in Yorkdale mall before heading downtown to the Thompson Hotel for the official after party. 1. DAVID CLARKSON, JOFFREY LUPUL, JONATHAN BERNIER 2. FRANKIE FERRAGINE, LAURIE FERRAGINE 3. JOHN VARVATOS
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A NIGHT FOR CANADIAN ARTS AND FASHION THE INAUGURAL Canadian Arts and Fashion Awards, held at the Fairmont Royal York hotel in Toronto, gathered industry leaders to celebrate the best in Canadian fashion. Winners in the men’s categories included Dean and Dan Caten of DSQUARED², Travis Taddeo, and Dexter and Byron Peart of WANT Les Essentiels de la Vie. Jeanne Beker was also fêted with a Vanguard Award for her lifetime of service to the Canadian fashion industry. 1. GERRY DEE 2. SHAWN HEWSON, JOE MIMRAM, RUTH PROMISLOW 3. DAN CATEN, COCO ROCHA, DEAN CATEN 4. ALIYA JASMINE SOVANI, MIKE BRADWELL 5. JEANNE BEKER 6. ELISHA CUTHBERT 7. DEXTER PEART, BYRON PEART
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P H O T O S : C A FA : G E O R G E P I M E N T E L
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A WEL C OME I N T R ODUCTION
Don’t Make Alexandra Daddario Freak Out On You BY CHRIS METLER
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IN AN EARLY EPISODE OF HBO’S True Detective (which may in fact be the best thing HBO has ever done—take that The Wire), Alexandra Daddario loses her shit on Woody Harrelson. And very shortly thereafter, the boozing, philandering murder detective is reduced to a shell of himself, wishing he hadn’t done to her what he did. Girl does crazy like nobody’s business. Turns out, she’s had the best training a young actor can ask for—playing a scream queen on the set of (the very un-HBO) Texas Chainsaw 3D. “I think I just started to lose my mind from lack of sleep,” she says of her attempts to get inside the head of a girl being chased by a chainsaw-wielding goon. “I’ll try to cry in between scenes, so I know that when the camera’s rolling I’m already hysterical. Also the physicality of running around and getting out of breath combined with a lot of coffee and no sleep helps.” And then she laughs and it takes you a second to catch up because when she laughs you want to do whatever it is you just did to make that happen, again and again. And also because you’ve seen what she can do when she gets mad.
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P H O T O B Y H I L A RY WA LS H
GUIDE | Women
GUIDE | Food A spread from Avec, including: (clockwise from left) chorizo-stuffed medjool dates; focaccia with taleggio cheese, ricotta, truffle oil and fresh herbs; whole roasted fish and whipped brandade.
Why We Love (Eating in) Chicago JACOB RICHLER EATS—AND DRINKS—HIS WAY THROUGH THE WINDY CITY (NOTEBOOK IN HAND) SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO. ONLY, YOU SHOULD. YOU REALLY SHOULD. THESE ARE EXCELLENT TIMES FOR DINING OUT in Chicago, one of just three North American cities for which Michelin publishes their notorious red guide. And, have no fear, these are fine times for drinking there, too, with the culture of innovative mixology entrenched from the hipster bars of Wicker Park to all of downtown’s many swanky hotels.
FRIDAY AT 7:45 PM If you have ever tried to watch an episode of Rick Bayless’s popular PBS show Mexico: One Plate at a Time, and been driven to change channels by his disturbingly insipid personality, we are on the same page. But his cooking is an entirely different matter. Rooted in authenticity, reimagined with a sensible, modern touch, vibrantly flavoured and expressed with the finest local ingredients. Xoco is the little brother and
neighbour to his betterknown restaurants Frontera Grill and Topolobampo, and so it is an ideal place to make acquaintance with Bayless’s cuisine. Assuming that you don’t mind waiting in a 20-minute queue only to eat your meal on a stool wedged against a small counter. I don’t: not when it starts with a robust margarita, infused with house-made lime bitters, and a basket of perfect, fresh-fried tortilla chips, brightly flavoured salsas and guacamole. We followed with a goat torta
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Nico Osteria’s Lobster Spaghetti is a signature dish: A house-made spaghetti complmented by a tomato based sherry reduction. An entire Maine lobster is used for each dish and then served in its shell.
(a crisp sandwich of fragrant, braised goat, dressed with tomatillo salsa and chunks of avocado) and a seafood caldo (green chili-infused coconut broth laden with exceptionally flavourful Mexican blue shrimp, clams, calamari and potato dumplings). If I lived in Chicago, I would be a regular here. XOCO, 449 N. CLARK ST., RICKBAYLESS.COM/RESTAURANTS/XOCO
SATURDAY AT 1:00 PM Unlike the case with many other Thompson hotels, this branch in the bustling Gold Coast district attracts more serious diners than it does revelers. And if you were looking to attach a name to the reason why, it would be Paul Kahan, the James Beard award-winning
executive chef for One Off Hospitality, which operates Nico Osteria. It is their seventh and newest effort, as well as their first stab at Italian cuisine. The focus is on seafood—and they get it right. Our meal began with a splendid array of crudo, which ran the gamut from shredded raw spiny lobster to escolar, hamachi, Japanese snapper and striped jack, each dressed to distinct effect with everything from kohlrabi salsa, banyuls vinegar, fermented chili, fried capers and trumpet mushrooms. Still, the single best dish was the roasted King crab legs, which were sweet, tender and luscious, and adorned most successfully with hazelnut pesto.
GUIDE | Design
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This isn’t your father’s street-style inspired vinyl toy collection COLLECTIBLES FOR THE DESIGN SET
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Designed by Miami art collaborative FriendsWithYou, this massive inflatable is a departure from the subversive culture shots that the designer toys are known for. “It’s not my kind of sensibility, but I’ve come to like it,” Wee Tom says.
3. THE KAWS COMPANION
1 FOR A MOMENT, forget the (likely 40-Year-Old Virgin-influenced) ideas you have about men collecting toys. Because these aren’t toys at all. Designer toys are a relatively recent phenomenon in the art world—popular cartoon, anime, and action figures reimagined by artists and designers and released in limited-edition runs. While they may look like something found in a 10-year-old’s bedroom, on closer inspection these creations—commanding hundreds or thousands of dollars (even millions), and highly collectible— reveal themselves to have more in common with pop art than Hello Kitty. This year Toronto’s Design Exchange hosts the largest to-date exhibit exclusively for designer toys. Hotelier, collector, and general influencer in Toronto’s art scene, John Wee Tom is one of the curators of the exhibit along with pop hitmaker Pharrell Williams (who, if nothing else, you’ll recognize from last summer’s “Blurred Lines” video). We asked Wee Tom to pick his five favourites. THIS IS NOT A TOY RUNS UNTIL MAY 19, 2014 // DX.ORG
New York-based artist KAWS started out writing graffiti and later spent some time as an animator for Disney, which may have inspired his signature Companion, a dead-eyed takedown of the world’s most famous mouse.
4. HUCK GEE’S SEVEN SAMURAI
Inspired by the classic film, San Francisco artist Huck Gee handcrafted each kimono and accessory to capture the qualities of Kurosawa’s seven protagonists.
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2 . THE RAINBOW VORTEX FROM FRIENDS WITH YOU
1. COARSE’S THE RISE OF PAIN IN DREAMS
It took the artist nearly two years to transform the original sculpture of this blindfolded and bloodied figure into the urban vinyl version at the exhibit. “It’s quite dark but I love the title, ‘Pain in Dreams.’ It speaks to one who really has to suffer for their dreams,” Wee Tom says.
5. THE “CHOMPERS” BE@RBRICK
These cartoonish bears originally designed by Japanese toy company Medicom became collectibles as artists, designers and brands like Coca-Cola and Chanel began to customize them. KAWS put his signature touch on this 70 cm paradox, which is as menacing as it is adorable.
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Automobiles
L O O K B E T T E R • F E E L B E T T E R • K N |O W M O R E
Pioneers: > Apply within PORSCHE’S 918 TURNS THE AUTOMOTIVE WORLD ON ITS HEAD BY MATT BUBBERS 74 SHARPFORMEN.COM / APRIL 2014
GUIDE
UPON DISCOVERING THE WORLD WAS SPHERICAL— not flat, as was the common belief—mariners were terrified. Everything in their world changed. What they knew in their bones was, now, completely wrong. Thinking rationally, these men should’ve actually been quite pleased by the discovery, because it meant falling off the edge of the earth was no longer a real danger. But change is terrifying. Pouring myself out of Porsche’s 918 Spyder, the world’s first hybrid supercar, I felt like a man seeing a globe for the first time.
THE SHARP SPRING UPGRADE
It’s time to start dressing like you give a damn. Here are 10 simple ways to do just that. BY YANG-YI GOH
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Light It Up Look, we don’t need to sit here and waste your time by extoling the virtues of crewneck sweatshirts. They’re versatile and look great with everything and you already own a couple in grey and navy. You get it. What we might need to convince you of, however, is trying one out in neon yellow. So, allow us to assure you: your concerns are understandable, but completely unfounded. You will not—repeat, will not—look like a human highlighter. Give it a shot, and it’ll instantly become the John Stockton to the rest of your wardrobe’s Karl Malone: creating plays and opening up lanes with zippy, uncompromising style. Use it to liven up a cotton suit, or layer it over a chambray shirt for a can’t-miss combination. COTTON SWEATSHIRT ($160) AND COTTON SUIT ($850) BY STRELLSON.
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LOOK BET TER • FEEL BET TER • KNOW MORE
P H O T O : M AT T D O Y L E ; S T Y L I S T: C H R I S T O P H E R C A M P B E L L F O R AT E L I E R M A N A G E M E N T; S T Y L I S T A S S I S TA N T: M A R C G E O R G E ; G R O O M I N G : M A R I B E L C A R E R R O & M E L A N I E H A R R I S
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A Better Breed of Brooch Want to get noticed at the office? Skip the novelty neckwear (obviously) and pop one of these offbeat stickpins in your lapel instead. They’ll add a dash of visual glee to just about any suit or sportcoat, giving you an unexpected look that still conveys professionalism. HOOK & FURL, $45 EACH
3 SMELL MANLIER
There’s no easier way to freshen up for spring than switching up your scent. Valentino’s newest fragrance, Uomo—with masculine notes of bergamot, myrtle, roasted coffee, cedar and leather—is as good a choice as any. $95 FOR 100 ML 84 SHARPFORMEN.COM / APRIL 2014
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Surefire Suede Surefire Suede It’s April, which means it’s going to be a little nippy out there for a good while longer. So you’re going to need a jacket. At the very least, you can ease your Seasonal Affective Disorder a tad by making said jacket a show-stoppingly cool suede bomber like this one. As raw and handsome as De Niro in Taxi Driver, it’s the perfect medium weight to keep you toasty till June. DEERSKIN BOMBER JACKET ($1,395) AND COTTON SWEATER ($220) BY A.P.C.; WHITE JEANS ($90) BY LEVI’S.
P H O T O : M AT T D O Y L E ; S T Y L I S T: C H R I S T O P H E R C A M P B E L L F O R AT E L I E R M A N A G E M E N T; S T Y L I S T A S S I S TA N T: M A R C G E O R G E ; G R O O M I N G : J AV I E R R O M E R O & M A R I B E L C A R E R R O
STYLE | Trends
GUIDE | Fatherhood
WHAT I LEARNED AT ZOMBIE CAMP A father prepares for his son’s worst fear
BY SHAUGHNESSY BISHOP-STALL • ILLUSTRATION BY PAUL BLOW
THERE ARE TIMES, as a columnist, when you use a good line at the wrong time and it comes back to haunt you. Standing here, staring at this poster on a streetlamp is one of them. You see, last year, in my column about learning to drive a racecar, I highlighted an exchange with my three-year-old son Zev in which I asked him what he was going to be when he grew up. His answer: “I’m going to be scared of zombies.” Daddycolumn gold, for sure. Adorable and trenchant. But what the hell did it have to do with driving a racecar? Goddamn nothing, I mutter, glaring at this poster on a streetlamp. It reads: ZOMBIE SURVIVAL CAMP. Meals and Lodging included. Register Now, at ZombieSurvivalCamp.ca *Limited spots available. It’s about time. 92 SHARPFORMEN.COM / APRIL 2014
I’ve been writing this “Dad Skills” column for two years now—the original idea being that I would learn all the things a man should know how to do before my son is old enough to realize I don’t know how to do anything. I’ve realized that all these things I’ve been trying to learn—fishing, hunting, making fire, fixing cars—are the survival skills of a bygone era. Or, as it occurs to me now, the possibly upcoming era of a Zombie Apocalypse. When that thing starts, you want your daddy to know how to survive, sure—but you also want him to know how to kill zombies. Zev certainly does. Heck, I already said as much in my column about shooting guns. (Oh, man, do I have to write every thought I ever have, as soon as I have it? Can’t I hang on to anything?) So, despite having used all my good zombie lines already, I’m heading to zombie camp. In fact, it’s a nobrainer. (Terrible, I know. But at least it’s a new one.) ••• Three weeks later, I’m sidestepping through mud, staying out of the “fatal funnel”—the zombie’s bear hug. Step, step,
GUIDE | The Reluctant Fanatic
ICE CODE
Finding better fandom through arithmetic BY NICHOLAS HUNE-BROWN • ILLUSTRATION BY DAN RAFTIS
IF, like me, you love sports but despise math with such vehemence that you’d rather starve to death than be forced to split a lunch bill, hockey has always been a safe space. While other sports have long since gone through their sabermetrics revolutions, introducing esoteric new formulas and statistics, hockey has remained comfortingly math-free. The long-standing agreement between the sport and its supporters has held firm: as long as you can count, tallying up goals and assists, you can consider yourself an informed hockey fan. 94 SHARPFORMEN.COM / APRIL 2014
Part of the reason the sport’s been so slow to get with the statistical times is because it can be surprisingly difficult to find useful numbers in a game as fluid as hockey. While much of baseball consists of a discrete encounter between a pitcher and a batter, any given hockey play has 10 men chaotically skating around the rink. And unlike basketball, hockey doesn’t have a lot of goals. With so few data points, it’s difficult to find the signal in the noise. But part of the reason, of course, is that hockey culture can be particularly hardheaded, conservative, and antimath. Let the nerds keep their spreadsheets. Real men just watch the games. I’d long chosen to remain ignorant of the complex-sounding statistics that threaten to wedge a high-school math lesson into my enjoyment of a game. I watch sports, after all, to see feats of
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NEVER WANTED TO BE A HERO PHOTO: BRIAN BOWEN SMITH © MARVEL 2014
{ C h r i s Eva n s }
TURNS OUT CAPTAIN AMERICA HAS SOME OTHER PLANS… APRIL 2014 / SHARPFORMEN.COM 97
A At the risk of sounding like an uninspired high school essay, let’s start this off with a pretty obvious statement: comparisons are how humans—constantly and inherently limited by our own experience—understand whatever is new and unfamiliar. This tastes like chicken, and so on. Thus, when pop-culture writers describe one celebrity by invoking either another celebrity or, more likely, an unholy union between two or more disparate famous people, we are being neither especially lazy nor especially clever. It’s just how people’s brains work. We have become pop-culture sommeliers—looking for notes and flavours, inspirations and doppelgängers in every new celebrity we see. For instance: Chris Evans— he’s got fine aromas of Matt Damon, balanced by unfortunate moments of Seann William Scott. See, because he’s wholesome looking, maybe a little intentionally bland, with a current of real artistic aspiration running through him, tempered by populist success (like Damon!), but he’s got that sarcastic teenhearthrob veneer that seems hard to shake (like Scott… remember him?). Of course, comparisons only go so far. While they’re helpful, they also distract and dehumanize. The fact is, Chris Evans is distinctly Chris Evans. Yes, he’s got the body of a superhero, and the face of the Boy Next Door. But he’s surprisingly
ambivalent about his place in Hollywood. And part of that, one can’t help but think, is an ambivalence about the way he looks. He trained at the Lee Strasberg Institute, whose alumni include Robert De Niro and Dustin Hoffman. He had panic attacks when he first got the Captain America role, and now the reason he’s so excited for the sequel is because it actually gives his character some depth, an arc. He would rather direct than act. These are
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not the biographical notes of someone who looks like a cookie-cutter movie star. Which makes sense because it turns out Evans isn’t one. How great is it to be playing a character where you have 70 years of real history and pop culture to pick from? It’s certainly a character who keeps on giving. With each movie there’s only been so much opportunity to dig. The first film, it’s an origin tale, and then with
The Avengers there were a lot of characters that we had to establish, and so for this film there is plenty of opportunity to give Cap some individual conflict and let him struggle with acclimating. Is it worth noting, as a classic film fan, that the best thing about Cap is that it feels like Jimmy Stewart turned into an action hero? That apprehension and politeness, everywhere but in a fight.
“TRAINING IS ONE THING, BUT IT’S GOT NOTHING COMPARED TO REAL-LIFE EXPERIENCE.” APRIL 2014 / SHARPFORMEN.COM 101
AND OTHER FACTS THAT WILL MAKE YOU LIKE HER (MORE) BY GREG HUDSON • PHOTOGRAPHY BY ARI MICHELSON
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his isn’t an article about how Elisabeth Moss is a “real” person. Even though that’s usually what these kind of profiles amount to, isn’t it? And that makes sense. The people you know—your neighbours, co-workers, family—they’re real people because you know them. You can’t truly like people you don’t know.
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Cashmere long sleeve bodysuit by Elder Statesmen.
GREY HAIRS MOVE BEYOND SOPHISTICATION
FIRST GREY HAIR
COLLEGE, BRIEF FLIRTATION WITH FACIAL HAIR
SHARP’S
HAVE KIDS. KNOW PURE JOY. ALSO SLEEPLESSNESS AND WORRY
HIT PUBERTY. PUBERTY HITS BACK, HARD
FIRST INSTANCE OF QUESTIONING PARENTAL INFALLIBILITY
G UI D E TO AGI NG LOSE VIRGINITY. WELL, LIKE, BASICALLY
BECOME CENTRE OF SMALL FAMILIAL UNIVERSE, I.E. BORN
FIRST EXPOSURE TO THE COST OF POST-SECONDARY EDUCATION
Age, a wise person once said, ain’t nothing but a number. And while we admire the optimistic sentiment, age doesn’t always feel arbitrary. In fact, it feels bloody important. Your age can feel like a looming countdown if you’re getting up there, or a standard by which to compare yourselves to others. You’re getting older no matter what. But, that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, there’s a lot to look forward to. Like commitment, like health, like finally, knowing who you are. What follows is some help on accepting the inevitable, from people who know, since they’re getting older, too. GET MARRIED
EXPERIMENT— UNSUCCESSFULLY— WITH TWIT TER
BECOME JUSTIFIABLY WISTFUL FIRST GRANDCHILD, MOMENTARILY UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF LIFE
SHARP’S GUIDE TO AGING
I HOPE I’M OLD
BEFORE I DIE BY GREG HUDSON s t a r t w i t h t h e a c c i d e n t . Only, it wasn’t an accident in the frightening, possibly fatal sense. Although it did happen in a car, and it certainly wasn’t intentional. a r o u n d c h r i s t m a s , I pulled into a gas station to
pick up my morning energy drink. I drink at least one every day, usually two. Never as many as four. I don’t drink coffee. I was maybe not fully awake, though I can’t really list that as even a half-hearted excuse, since a) I was still driving, and b) it’s not as though I was up before dawn. I took my foot off the gas and turned into the parking spot at the side of the building. Then I got confused. In that moment, I forgot which pedal I had just taken my foot off of. I blanked on which pedal was for stopping and which was for going. Instinctively, I moved my foot to the left, but I was suddenly certain I was wrong, and that if I pushed down, I’d lurch headlong into the side of the Mac’s. It’s knowledge that’s as familiar as tying my shoe, which I’ve exercised without much thought since I was 16, but that morning it got muddled and slippery. I was lost, as if the number of pedals had doubled, and any one I pressed would lead to me smashing my parents’ Astro van into a building. And in the end, that’s what happened. Though, I can’t exaggerate, I was going 10 km/hr max. There was no damage to the wall or my family’s van. But it was unnerving. I experienced my first Senior Moment. The real-world result of having the brain of a someone in their 50s. Which, fine, but I’m only 30 years old. Old
1900s. If that sounds ominous, it’s not supposed to. The grounds, the stables, the homey accommodations, the spa and even the medical offices, tucked in the basement underneath the small restaurant, practically sigh. It’s a place to rest, with horses and free-range food. A place to if not be reborn at least de-age. “Don’t talk about the grounds,” Dawn Pentesco tells me the first time I go there. She’s the marketing woman showing me around like a proud parent. “Whenever people come here, they get distracted by the accommodations, by everything we have here, and how it looks, but they don’t talk about what we actually do.” What they do, at least what they’ll do for me, is discover my physiological age, as compared to my chronological age. Then, with that knowledge, they make life plans for their clients that involve exercise, diet, supplements and hormone therapy to help reverse the aging process. According to the man in charge, Dr. Randy Knipping, their work can make people at least 11 years younger. That’s the work that has been peer reviewed and published, anyway. A 50-year-old can, physiologically, become 39. “Imagine a classroom of 10-year-olds,” Dr. Knipping tells me. “At about that age, everyone is basically at the same age, biologically speaking. After that, lifestyle, disease, genetics, diet all start to change things. When that same group is in their twenties, some will seem younger and others will be living harder.” Knipping uses biomarkers of physiological function to determine your true age. These are things like your lung strength, your circulatory health, your brain power, your endocrine and immune system, your skin and, especially, your telomeres. “If there is one candidate to be considered the body’s molecular clock, then one of the frontrunners must be the length of our telomeres,” the hefty package they sent me home with explains. “Telomeres are the caps on the ends of each of our chromosomes that protect them from being mistaken for damaged DNA.” As our cells divide, these ends deplete—like the tips of shoelaces wear out with each tie. Once they deplete past a certain point, they fail to perform their function and “produce detrimental inflammatory molecules. The molecular clock stops ticking,” the literature says. One of the major treatments DeerFields offers is a way to stop the wearing down of these telomeres.
CONTINUED on P.109
WHAT WE’RE WATCHING: A TELEVISION ANALYSIS
l a s t s u m m e r , I went to an age management clinic. I was turning 30, and wasn’t happy about it, the same way most people over, say, 29 aren’t happy about their birthdays. Maybe I was a little more upset than most people, but that’s impossible to know. Mortality—and its inherent deadline for success and satisfaction—is a scary thing. That’s why places like the DeerFields Clinic exist. Only, there aren’t many places like DeerFields Clinic. It sits on a converted ranch outside of Toronto and has the relaxed aura of a sanitarium from the
THE WA L K I N G DEAD
THE BIG BANG T H E O RY
Young
DOWNTON ABBY
NCIS
MAD MEN NCIS
CSI
GIRLS
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SPORTCOAT ($1,395) BY CORNELIANI; COTTON SHIRT ($345) BY ERMENEGILDO ZEGNA; POCKET SQUARE ($65) BY BOSS; COTTON TROUSERS ($75) BY PERRY ELLIS; SUEDE BELT ($130) BY STRELLSON; STRATFORD ACCUTRON WATCH ($895) BY BULOVA, AVAILABLE AT TOURNEAU. 114 SHARPFORMEN.COM / APRIL 2014
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THE SPRING SURVEY
photograpy by _______________________________
styling by _______________________________
S H A R P F O R M E N. C O M 124
Louis Vuitton
Kim Jones has a serious case of itchy feet. Each of the visionary Brit’s travel-focused collections for Louis Vuitton has drawn inspiration from a different far-flung locale, like Indonesia or Kenya. This time around, Jones is taking the Parisian house on a road trip straight across the good ol’ US of A. The collection is a deep dive into nearly every facet of Americana, suffused with a striking tinge of Vuitton-style decadence: a Boy Scout-esque parka comes with crocodile elbow patches; the classic white tennis shoes are upgraded with flashy metal hardware and a pitch-perfect denim jacket is reimagined in luxurious suede. suede jacket ($5,180), classic cotton t-shirt ($310) and plaid pants ($740).
POLYESTER JACKET WITH DOWN/ FEATHER FILLING ($995) BY BOSS.
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