Picture perfect

HAUNTED

room

He tried to seem innocent but I knew the sick truth Jane Rowe, 31, Mountain Ash U shering us through the front door, my dad handed me a bag of toys and waved goodbye. It was summer 1993, I was 4 – and this house, this routine, had become familiar. Every day, Dad dropped me and my brother, 3, with a local babysitter, while he went to work.

It’d become the norm since my parents split up a few months earlier. At first, we loved our time there. Then someone else began looking after us. ‘This is my brother Mark,’ our usual babysitter said, introducing us. While she went to tend to her horse, she’d leave us with him. Mark was around 17, but to me, he was a grown-up.

Always dressed in dark clothes, he had black, greasy hair. When he came ‘JANE ROWE’ IS NOT HER REAL NAME. WORDS: MISHAAL KHAN, JANE COHEN. PHOTOS: ALAMY, WALES NEWS SERVICE close, I’d grimace at the dirty smell from his clothes. ‘Peel this off,’ he’d laugh after smothering PVA glue on his hands. I did as he said, fascinated by it.

Mark seemed to enjoy spending time with me. ‘I’ve got a piano in my room. Do you want to have a go?’ he asked.

Of course, I said yes. By Abuser: Mark Stonelake I finally found the strength to speak up

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now, I was 5, a curious kid. Soon, I was following Mark upstairs into his bedroom, while my brother played downstairs.

But once we were inside, Mark locked the door.

Looking up at him, I felt my curiosity shift to fear.

Then, he pulled down his trousers, made me touch him, put his privates between my hands and feet. He touched me, abused me. Afterwards, he played a film that showed

naked bodies writhing against each other.

‘Watch it,’ he barked as I squeezed my eyes tight.

‘This is our secret. No one can know,’ Mark told me.

Unlocking the door, Mark ushered me downstairs, acted like nothing had happened. I felt

strange, disgusting. But I hoped that would be the last

time he took me to his bedroom.

I was wrong.

‘Let’s play the piano,’ he said again, soon after.

I began to dread him suggesting it, knowing just what was coming next. Mark told me to keep quiet about what he did, and I never told a soul.

He was a grown-up and I did what I was told.

Then one day, a couple of years later, Mark stopped inviting me upstairs.

Maybe he’d lost interest. But it didn’t matter. The relief was monumental.

Before long, Dad didn’t need us to have a babysitter any more. We didn’t ever go back to that house.

But what had happened there had changed me.

Once a happy, carefree child, I became withdrawn and depressed.

I just couldn’t stop going over and over the abuse in my mind, reliving it daily. When I was 9, I found a bottle of tablets at home.

I took them all, desperate for the pain to go away.

That day, I collapsed at school, ended up in hospital, but was OK.

During my first years of secondary school, I was a recluse, too afraid to make friends. But growing into a teenager, I discovered different methods to numb my pain.

Turning to drink and

med vir i

drugs, I spiralled out of control. And my anxiety and depression only intensified. I self-harmed, desperate to find a release.

Too afraid to confide in my family, I tried counselling.

‘Tell me about your childhood,’ she asked.

Only, I still couldn’t bring myself to talk about my agonising memories. I felt trapp After years of never trusting men, I met someone and fell preg

My baby was born in February 2012.

It was a pivotal moment – my child gave me a reason to keep going.

So, when I had my second baby, in March 2018, I confided in my partner. Telling someone was a remedy in itself, finally letting out the dark secret I’d buried so deep.

‘You have to report it. You can’t let him get away with it,’ he urged.

I wasn’t sure I was ready. But would I ever be? Finally, in July 2018, more

My memories tormented me

I wanted to face him, no longer a scared little girl than two decades after Mark Stonelake abused me, I went to the police.

I told them everything. I was terrified that I wouldn’t be believed.

Luckily, he was soon arrested and confessed to what he’d done to me.

It was such a relief.

After Stonelake, 42, was charged with one count of indecent assault and two counts of indecency with a d, I knew it as time o tell my brother. I had to make

sure that I was Stonelake’s only victim. My other ured me adn’t been on, too. believe it ng while ,’ he cried. At Merthyr Tydfil Crown Court, Stonelake’s lawyer told the court, ‘He has never had intimacy with

another person and remains to this day a virgin.’

I was sickened. Was he trying to come off as innocent, get a softer sentence? As if the fact he’d only ever had sexual contact with me, a 5-yearold girl, made it all better.

Stonelake pleaded guilty I was just 5 when it started

to all charges, and in September 2019, he was sentenced to 16 months behind bars. He was placed on the sex offenders register for 10 years.

I went to court with my partner to watch Stonelake get sent down.

I wanted to face him, to make him see I was no longer a scared little girl.

No sentence will ever be enough for what that sick monster did to me.

To this day, I hate the smell of PVA glue.

And I can’t stand anyone touching my feet.

Fiercely protective of my children, I won’t let them stay over at friends’ and I only let my mum babysit. But I am stronger now than I’ve ever been and I won’t let that man ruin the rest of my life.

I hope that, by sharing my story, I can encourage other abuse victims to come forward and speak up.

You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Sickos like Mark Stonelake can’t be allowed to go around stealing childhoods and ruining lives.