Planet JH 9.30.15 by Planet Jackson Hole

JACKSON HOLEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ALTERNATIVE VOICE | PLANETJH.COM | SEPTEMBER 30-OCTOBER 6, 2015

Embracing the Hyphen How ethnic identity evolves in a homogenous place. By Natosha Hoduski

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

2 | SEPTEMBER 30, 2015

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IT’S PRO-CHOICE OR NO-CHOICE. Paid for by the KCR Coalition for Pro-Choice Kristyne Crane Rupert | www.naral.org.

JACKSON HOLE'S ALTERNATIVE VOICE

VOLUME 13 | ISSUE 39 | SEPTEMBER 30-OCTOBER 6, 2015

COVER STORY EMBRACING THE HYPHEN How ethnic identity evolves in a homogenous place. Cover photo illustration by Cait Lee

4 GUEST OPINION 6 THE BUZZ 14 CREATIVE PEAKS 20 GET OUT 22 CINEMA 27 SATIRE 30 COSMIC CAFE THE PLANET TEAM PUBLISHER Copperfield Publishing, John Saltas GENERAL MANAGER Andy Sutcliffe / asutcliffe@planetjh.com EDITOR Robyn Vincent / editor@planetjh.com ART DIRECTOR Cait Lee / art@planetjh.com SALES DIRECTOR Jen Tillotson / jen@planetjh.com

SALES EXTRAORDINAIRES Jennifer Marlatt / jmarlatt@planetjh.com Caroline Zieleniewski / caroline@planetjh.com COPY EDITOR Brielle Schaeffer CONTIBUTORS Mike Bressler, Rob Brezsny, Aaron Davis, Kelsey Dayton, Bill Frost, Natosha Hoduski, Elizabeth Koutrelakos, Carol Mann, Pete Muldoon, Andrew Munz, Jake Nichols, Ted Scheffler, Scott Renshaw, Ariana Snowdon,Tom Tomorrow, Jim Woodmencey

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September 30, 2015 By Meteorologist Jim Woodmencey

Jim has been forecasting the weather here for more than 20 years. You can find more Jackson Hole Weather information at www.mountainweather.com SPONSORED BY GRAND TETON FLOOR & WINDOW COVERINGS

Average low temperatures this week are in the upper 20’s. That means we could see morning temps anywhere from 40-degrees to around 20-degrees. Best not to leave your beer sit out most nights unattended. The good news is, it will be highly unlikely that we will be breaking the record low temperature this week, which is 8-degrees, set back on October 6th, 1955. That’s a record that has stood for 60 years now, and would freeze your can solid.

Average high temperatures this week are in the mid 60’s, historically. Which means we could hit 80-degrees or we could have a high of 50-degrees this time of year. The record high this week is 87-degrees, and again there is not much threat of reaching or exceeding that temp, however nice that might seem. This record was established on October 1st, 1997. Highs in the 80’s always makes for good beer drinking weather, don’t forget your koozie.

66 27 87 8

AVERAGE PRECIPITATION: 1.27 inches RECORD PRECIPITATION: 3.93 inches (1961) AVERAGE SNOWFALL: 3 inches RECORD SNOWFALL: 0.1 inches

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SEPTEMBER 30, 2015 | 3

e just enjoyed a very nice first week of the official fall season this past week, topping out at 80-degrees in town last Friday (Sept. 25th). This week we begin October, which somehow elicits thoughts of colder temperatures and beer fests. Jackson averages less than two inches of snow in October, but our record snowfall during October happened way back in 1946, with 18 inches of the white frothy stuff. Jackson also averages no less than two beer fests in October.

WHAT’S COOL WHAT’S HOT

NORMAL HIGH NORMAL LOW RECORD HIGH IN 1997 RECORD LOW IN 1955

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

JH ALMANAC

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

4 | SEPTEMBER 30, 2015

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here is a rapidly developing consensus that the town of Jackson and Teton County need to start building a lot more workforce housing. The conversation is starting to shift toward finding ways to fund this housing. As you can imagine, this will be a contentious debate. But we should also be having a discussion about who we are trying to house, and what that housing will look like. If the public perception is that we are building housing for people who are not contributing to the community or that we are going to over-engineer a small number of homes for a lottery there will be very little public support, and deservedly so. The public perception in the past (true or not) has been that housing has often gone to relative newcomers or people who could otherwise afford to buy on the free market. I’ve heard from countless people who lament that “affordable” housing that’s occasionally available is not remotely attainable for them because of poor credit history, lack of a down payment or simply because they don’t earn enough to make the payments. They resent watching their tax dollars go toward relatively expensive homes that are sold to people with parents who can help pay the down payment. They resent seeing two bedroom homes being subsidized for single people who then rent out the other bedroom and build equity, while they themselves live in rental insecurity or even in their car. To them, the message is clear: if you don’t have great credit, a great income history and access to enough cash for a down payment, you won’t be deemed worthy of assistance. The truth is that home ownership is not for everyone. It’s certainly not a good choice for people who move to Jackson for a few years to work and then move on. We need those people here, but it makes no sense for most of them to buy a home. The two main benefits of buying a home are housing security and the ability to build equity. You shouldn’t be trying to build equity if you’re just living here for a few years after college. That’s a 10-year project at least. But housing security is important for everyone. And that’s why secure

rentals with predictable and affordable rents are important. This could be accomplished through regulation by massively increasing tenant rights and imposing rent controls. Indeed, we should certainly be examining tenant rights, which are a disgrace in Wyoming. But rent control is problematic. It imposes the costs of our massive community growth (and the resultant need for more housing) on a small number of landlords who are certainly not the main beneficiaries of that growth. On top of this, we would be spending money on enforcement that would be better spent building actual housing. It’s a temporary solution, at best. Building high-density rental housing should be the focus now. We can do this in a bold, forward-thinking way that takes into consideration changes in the way people live and in the direction we would like to see the community move. I’d like to see us start with a model development of around 100 units — a mix of studio and two-bedroom floor plans. I’d like to see the design focus on energy efficiency and minimalist living. As someone who once spent the better part of three years living in an RV in Jackson, I can attest to the fact that 200 square feet is plenty of space for one person if it’s designed properly. I would like the development to be vehicle-free. There are plenty of potential residents who work near public transportation, and having little or no parking would greatly reduce its cost and footprint. A development like this would adhere to the community values regarding environmental stewardship and conservation by being minimalist, green and promoting public transportation. We could provide a rental car service (similar to ZipCar) for residents who need to use a vehicle occasionally – this could be based underground and could also serve other residents who might choose to forgo car ownership if they knew they had affordable access to a car-sharing program. We could restrict eligibility to people who work for or own businesses based in Teton County, and we could set income limits for residents as well. I realize that this kind of housing would not be appropriate for some – people with larger families, for example, or people who need vehicles for work. But they would benefit as well by an increase in the housing supply in general. It won’t be enough, of course. We’ll still need more housing, and we’ll still need to limit growth. But we’re in a tough spot, and we need some creative solutions. We’re going to have to house more people in smaller and smaller pieces of real estate. We’re going to have to find ways to limit the physical footprint of additional vehicles, as well as environmental impact. Building single-family homes with two-car garages is no longer feasible. It’s time to start looking at other options. PJH

“As someone who once spent three years living in an RV in Jackson, I can attest that 200 square feet is plenty of space for one person.”

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

SEPTEMBER 30, 2015 | 5

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

6 | SEPTEMBER 30, 2015

THE BUZZ Cabbies See Red Yellow checkered past paints taxi tiff. BY JAKE NICHOLS

et’s get this straight. When cab drivers caught wind of a fare increase proposal that would allow them to charge more for a ride from the airport, they were made unhappy? Actually, it wouldn’t so much “allow” them as mandate they charge $5 more per single passenger trip and, in some cases, call for as high as a 57 percent rate hike. Cause for celebration, right? Yet many taxi owners are against it.

What gives? First off, you have to understand cabbies. They’re a different breed — at least around here. Fiercely independent, taxi company owners steer their way around insurrection better than they navigate Google Maps. Their drivers are likeminded – a rebellious, moonlighting lot hard-boiled from shuttling drunks to addresses they can’t remember, mopping up puke piles and listening to rants about overpriced fares at two in the morning. If cabbies were a state, they’d be Alaska. When Jackson Hole Airport director Jim Elwood and his board settled on rate adjustments for ground transportation departing the airport, the news went over, as one cab owner eloquently put it, “like a turd in a punchbowl.” Rod Lewis, proprietor of Cowboy Cab, called the extra money he could soon charge for an airport run “asinine.” “The things that have been allowed to happen to get this far are just incredible,” Lewis said. “When I started my business we were charging $12 to town and now it’s 35 bucks, going up to 40. I guess with the government printing money like its toilet paper it’s just keeping up with inflation.” Lewis is not alone in believing the extra cash won’t help his bottom line in the long run. At least not enough to deal with the flack he expects to get from irate customers who will blame him for ripping them off. “It seems like the new raised rates are at the point of gouging people,” Tyler Pittman, owner and operator of Snake River Taxi, said. “Three people going from the airport to town are going to be charged $65, up from $42? Yet the same number of people can go from town to the Village for $45? It’s the same distance. People are going to be asking me why we are charging these fares.” After hearing of the airport’s plan – an agenda item that did not include taxi owners or drivers in the process – Pittman said he called an “unprecedented” emergency rendezvous of his peers. He rallied his competitors to form what he says is a self-regulating coalition that would like to present their suggested trip rates to airport leaders. Gold Medal winner in Planet JH Best of 2015 Reader’s Poll for best taxi service, Dan Kaighn of Daniel’s Cash Cab, said he just returned from Alaska and is still trying to form an opinion after being initially gladdened by news of the proposed hike. “I’m still trying to figure out what the need is for it and what is the motivation behind it. I’m not sure who to point a finger at or why. I know a lot of the cabbies are not happy about it,” Kaighn said. “But pricing is way too high, already. Everybody is used to the pricing now. Why fix what isn’t broke? We don’t have meters in the car so what are the people going to think? They aren’t going to want to pay that.” Airport officials are granted absolute authority to impose ground transportation rates by a decades-old county ordinance. It’s standard practice observed in airports throughout the U.S., according to Elwood. The thinking behind the decision to raise rates taxis charge and lower rates for

shuttle services like Alltrans was an opportunity to be consistent with the community’s values, Elwood said. The new Comprehensive Plan and Integrated Transit Plan have an emphasis on mass transportation. The rate hike discourages single-passenger trips in cabs in the form of fiscal pain and incentivizes the use of buses with cheaper tickets. “Our overall objective is to be consistent with the community values established in the Comprehensive Plan and Integrated Transit Plan,” Elwood said. “It’s just being good community members. Also, the previous rates were not based on any sort of mathematical formula. We also wanted to ensure all transportation options were looked at, collectively. How do you incentivize the point-to-point onesies, twosies and threesies to consider the shuttle rather than a taxi? That’s where the $5 flag drop and price per mile [formula] came from.” Elwood also stressed decisions about rate changes were not made entirely at a financial level but were more focused on providing a better customer experience in the same way the airport’s dress code for cabbies and other standardized compliance rules have been put into effect in recent years. When hacks heard why airport bigwigs were jacking their rates, they formed two camps: They either don’t buy it or they believe it’s an example of government intrusion in the private sector. In general, the livery industry in Jackson Hole bristles at authority. At the very least they have a distrustful view of City Hall. The taxi trade ran maverick in Jackson through the 1990s and early 2000s. Some operators were banking six figures a year. Anyone, it seemed, looking to pocket a couple hundies for a few hours’ work merely had to stay semi-sober on a Saturday night and stick a hand-scribbled sign on his dash and, presto, he was in the car service business. In 2003, an all-out war between cab drivers and the airport board broke out. It was eventually smoothed out but the bitter aftertaste and growing complaints led Mayor Mark Barron to ride herd on the industry just a few years later. The rodeo was on. Using ordinances, fees and permits, town leaders managed to take most of the buck out of Jackson hacks. They also created a distrust that still festers today. Mike Allen, who closed his business called Paradise Taxi, believes the regulations intended to level the playing field actually created imbalance and opportunity for fly-by-night operators to cheat the system. “Some of those regulations caused hardship for us,” he said. “We had to pay state, county, and town taxes; Unemployment and Worker’s Comp. We suddenly had overhead chewing into our profits whereas the illegitimate guys were pocketing all their cash and maybe not reporting things like sales tax. It created opportunity for some of these pirates to run under the radar and we couldn’t compete with them.” “Those of us in the business who are stupid enough to pay unemployment and these other taxes that add up to about 27 percent per employee are getting undercut by these eastern European companies, these bandits that occasionally get caught but they just close down and reopen under a new business name,” Lewis added. “And I had one working for me collecting unemployment while he went hunting after the summer season.” As far as the rate hike on the table, most cabbies think it will harm more than help. “People don’t like to think about cabbies having children or a family. They think we are all pirates, gypsies and renegades,” Allen said. “But this kind of meddling is why I got out of the business. Stop manipulating the market. I think they should at least let the cabbies in on decisions. The airport doesn’t know what it costs to run a taxi business. And why not give incentive in the form of discounts or coupons for riding

the bus instead of negatively impacting the cab industry?” Kaighn likes some of the changes he’s seen. Still, he feels handcuffed by fare mandates he doesn’t understand. “The cab industry has improved a lot in the past five or six years. It used to be old Astrovans breaking down and fares were all over the place,” he said. “Now, we could be talking about a lawsuit, but we want to keep a good relationship with the airport like we’ve had. You know, I’ve sometimes charged less for a friend or a steady customer as a way of saying thanks for their business. Now you are telling me I can’t do that? That’s baloney. That makes no sense.” Elwood concedes, with 30-something-odd carriers in the valley by his estimation, not everyone will be happy. He added that he is grateful for the feedback from taxi owners and is considering all viewpoints leading into this Friday’s decision on whether or not to implement the new rates. Perhaps the weightiest opposition to the hike is longtime Airport board member Jerry Blann, who also operates Jackson Hole Mountain Resort in Teton Village. Blann is concerned for skier tourists who may find mass transit ill-suited to their needs in getting to the slopes. Blann, however, supports the general notion of removing vehicles from valley roads in deference to buses. Parking fees at JHMR have risen in recent years, compelling more people to opt for the START Bus shuttle from Stilson – a service partially subsidized by the resort – or to carpool to the Village. Though Blann has sided with cabbies on the airport dilemma, at least one driver remains unconvinced. “Blann I’m sure has his hands in this,” Dean Miller alleged. Miller once owned Westbank Cab but now drives for another owner after selling out. As of press time, Blann could not be reached for comment. Miller has company in the conspiracy theory camp. “There’s more to it than what we are being told. There are ulterior motives involved,” Kaighn said. “There is definitely something up, something fishy going on here. Maybe they are just trying to give more business to Alltrans because they are in a lot closer relationship with the Airport than taxis and private cars, and the Airport makes a lot more money off them.” Another cab owner believes airport officials are eventually aiming for one exclusive company to run out of their facility: Driver Provider. Miller speculated moves at the airport are designed to pave the way for Uber to get a foothold in Jackson Hole. “They claim they want to get cars off the road? They send out over a thousand rental cars a day out there. How come they aren’t cracking down on that?” Miller wondered. “I think it’s a power play on the part of somebody to get Uber into here. That wouldn’t surprise me. Somebody is going to get that 20 percent that the drivers don’t get [in the Uber payment policy].” Elwood said he wouldn’t be surprised to see Uber come to Jackson given the ride app’s popularity across the country. But it had nothing to do with internal discussions and no communication has ever occurred between the airport and transportation companies like Uber or Lyft, he said. “First of all, there is no collusion going on,” Elwood stated, flatly. “We are just going about change as fairly and as thoughtfully as we can. There is no subplot past that.” Town councilman and Airport board liaison Jim Stanford said he is generally supportive with what Airport managers come up with. “I don’t take cabs to the airport. I think the fares are absurdly high, and it’s been my experience cabbies aren’t ever really looking to cut money off the fare,” he said. “I take the Ride-to-Fly shuttle. I think that service is great.” Stanford did say he was a bit surprised no public comment or chance to hear from taxi drivers was taken at the Airport board’s last meeting. PJH

“People don’t like to think about cabbies having children or a family.”

THEM ON US By JAKE NICHOLS

Fly guy is all business By day, Will Hobbs can likely be found wetting a fly along the banks of a river. Or he’s showing off the finer points of a perfect “backswing” to a member golfer at the Snake River Sporting Club, where he serves as the director of outdoor pursuits. By ink, Hobbs appeared in the venerable Wall Street Journal recently in the paper’s “Health and Wellness” section. The feature on physical training for successful fly-fishing included a full-color photo of Hobbs along with handy trade secrets from the local pro. We did our best to stifle a smirk reading the line “fishing is a serious workout.” The 42-year-old Hobbs also told the Journal, “Fly fishing is actually more physically taxing than most believe it to be.” The nation’s largest newspaper with a circulation of more than 2.2 million readers hit our desk last week.

Art of the sale The ninth annual Jackson Hole Art Auction reaped $6.5 million in sales last week including a world record-setting $128,700 for “Four American Visionaries” by Jenness Cortez. Eighteen new artist world records had been smashed when the event wrapped on Sept. 19. Hosted by Trailside Galleries and the Gerald Peters Gallery, the auction succeeded in selling 81 percent of the 304 lots, which included the dazzling cover lot piece “Wind River Range Wyoming” by Albert Bierstadt. It fetched $800,000.

Bears be acting crazy The fetching headline in a County 10 online news piece caught our attention. “Why are there so many bears being so crazy this fall?” Yeah, why are they? Wyoming Game and Fish public information specialist Mark Gocke offered a two-fold answer. In autumn, bears enter into their calorie-craving hyperphagia state when they are putting on weight for the winter’s hibernation. Also, a low berry crop in Wyoming has bears desperate for food sources even if that means a refrigerator in a home in Hog Island or a cow on a cattle ranch in Dubois. Gocke had no explanation for the poor berry crop. He said it just happens every few years.

JH slips in readers’ survey

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Jackson Hole slipped a few spots in Ski Magazine’s annual “Best Western Resorts” list. Whistler Blackcomb topped the list that showed JHMR in the fifth spot. Idaho Mountain Express spread the news last Friday, crowing about Sun Valley’s surge up the readers’ poll to second place. It marks Sun Valley’s steady climb the past few years. They were No. 7 in 2012, 4th in 2013, and took the bronze last year. Grand Targhee ranked second in the subcategory of “Best Snow,” while Jackson Hole was voted the No. 1 place to find the toughest “Terrain Challenge.”

Addicted to a high

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SEPTEMBER 30, 2015 | 7

Jackson’s Ryan Burke, who penned last week’s Planet cover story, “Risk vs. Reward,” summited 24 peaks in four days last month. Kelsey Dayton penned a story about Burke for WyoFile that exhausted us just reading it. The 33-year-old scrambled to the top of Albright Peak on Aug. 30, completing a Teton Range peak-bagging 96-hour excursion that included the Grand and 23 other mountains. Since arriving to the valley in 2004, Burke has tackled impossible physical feats while holding down several jobs — his latest as an addictions counselor at CurranSeeley Foundation. He’s summited the Grand in 3.5 hours, led the first blind woman (Nancy Stevens in 2012) up that peak, and holds the record for the Picnic – a locally invented triathlon where competitors bike from Jackson, swim across Jenny Lake, solo the Grand Teton and reverse the course back to town. Burke finished it in fewer than 12 hours. PJH

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

8 | SEPTEMBER 30, 2015

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Farewell Bernhard Family friend marvels over impressive search effort that resulted in the discovery of the missing hunter’s remains. The body of Bernhard Rietmann was found Tuesday just before noon. The 85-yearold hunter who hitchhiked to Jackson Hole in 1964 and opened the German lodge, the Heidelberg, had been missing for seven days. His disappearance prompted a massive search that included dozens of Teton County Search and Rescue team members, county law enforcement and numerous volunteer citizens. Despite the efforts of hundreds of searchers covering 20 square miles of the Granite Creek area, the German-born Rietmann was eventually found after a tip from another hunter provided a key clue. Dispatch received a call early Tuesday morning from a hunter from Green River, Wyoming, who said he found a rifle in Boulder Creek on Monday. The hunter was unaware of the ongoing search when he found the weapon. He had marked the spot with a handheld GPS and took the gun home. Later, after learning of the search for Rietmann, the hunter called and provided authorities with the exact coordinates. According to Charlotte Reynolds, Teton County public information officer, Rietmann’s body was discovered nestled between two deadfall trees one half mile up the Boulder Creek corridor from Little Granite Creek. Boulder Creek is in the search grid covered by SAR during the operation but earlier information from Rietmann’s family led searchers to believe the lost hunter was probably using the Highline trail the day he disappeared – a little more than two miles north of where Rietmann was eventually found. Rietmann’s body was transported to the county coroner’s office Tuesday afternoon to determine the cause of death. The following was penned by Ariana Snowdon, a family friend of Rietmann’s who spent several days as part of the tireless team that scoured the area looking for him.

ittersweet. It is the only word I can use to describe the time I have spent in the field these past few days, helping in the search for Bernhard Rietmann. Bernhard was a dear family friend, a close friend of both my parents for several decades. His son was a childhood friend of mine, and a high school Nordic teammate. The past few days have been a roller coaster

REITMANN FAMILY PHOTO

S hop local, Save big!

Local, state and regional officials along with community volunteers banded together for seven days to locate Wilson resident Bernhard Rietmann. His remains were discovered Tuesday. of emotions for so many people, most especially his wonderful family and the many friends who loved him deeply. After nearly a week, and the heartbreaking news that this dear man has finally been found, the sadness is eased slightly by the outpouring of love that has carried every one of us throughout this search. I am nowhere eloquent enough, nor is there enough space in this paper, for me to fully express my appreciation and admiration for the extraordinary people who ran the search efforts this week. From the moment I walked through the door, the people who comprise Teton County Search and Rescue blew me away with their professionalism and dedication. I have always known they were good at what they do, but until I was in the thick of it, I hadn’t fully grasped just how exceptional they are. Many of them knew Bernhard personally, and many more did not, but the energy with which they approached the challenge of the search was inspiring for every one of us who had turned up to volunteer. This was, I think, the most impressive thing to witness, even beyond the monumental task of managing logistics and organizing hundreds of volunteers. As the days progressed, and the inevitable wisps of fatigue and frustration began to creep in, their energy was a constant, keeping everyone else afloat. While TCSAR led the charge, this week was truly a team effort, and I was similarly impressed by the collaboration between all parties involved. I’m sure I am missing some of the groups, but for my part, I worked alongside the TCSAR team, members of the Teton County Sheriff’s Office, staff from Grand Teton National Park, Forest Service volunteers, SAR teams from Sublette

County, and law enforcement officers from Bonneville County, Idaho, and Salt Lake City, Utah. Many of them drove for hours, some of them sleeping in their cars, in order to show up and help. I doubt they will ever read this, but I hope they know how much they are appreciated, and I hope that our community can rally for them when the need arises. I do my best to never take for granted the privilege of being a part of this community, but like most people, there are times I slip up. I occasionally forget to marvel at not just the physical beauty, but how so many deeply compassionate, dedicated, hard-working people are drawn to this place. And while tragic and challenging circumstances often incite feelings of pain and grief, in this town, this week, it illuminated this exceptional community of people. When I heard a few hours ago that Bernhard had been found, my heart broke for his family and friends, and all those who were touched by his kind and generous spirit. While we knew this would likely be the outcome, in a town with so many wild stories of people beating the odds, the most stubbornly optimistic of us kept uttering, “stranger things have happened.” But there is comfort in knowing that every person who was a part of this search gave everything they could. I am so grateful to everyone who made it possible to bring him home, to offer his family the dignity of saying goodbye, instead of leaving them with the agonizing limbo of the unknown. I hope that they can take comfort in knowing how well-loved Bernhard was by this community. Ruhe in Friden, Bernhard. We will miss you. – Ariana Snowdon

NEWS

By CHUCK SHEPHERD

OF THE

WEIRD From Cuba, With Love

One of the remaining 116 Guantanamo Bay prisoners (a man suspected of having been close to Osama bin Laden) has a dating profile on Match.com captioned “detained but ready to mingle,” the man’s lawyer Carlos Warner told Al Jazeera America in September. Muhammad Rahim al-Afghani has relentlessly proclaimed his innocence, and Warner released a series of charming letters from his client intended to humanize him. Al-Afghani commented on Lebron James, Caitlyn Jenner, the Ashley Madison website and, for some reason, South Dakota, but with the recent publicity, Match.com appears to have suspended the account.

The Continuing Crisis

“Let me get this straight,” wrote an incredulous commenter in September. “(T)hose who oversee” the Matthaei Botanical Gardens in Ann Arbor, Michigan, have the park “populated with snakes that can bite and inflict serious wounds.” The remark was in response to a visitor’s having been bitten by one of at least 27 rattlesnakes loose (by design) on the grounds. (The Eastern Massasauga rattler is protected by state law.) On the other hand, the park has posted many snake warning signs, and the woman who was bitten had removed her shoes to walk in the lush grass. n Aluminum Foil Makes a Comeback: 1. City officials in Tarpon Springs, Florida, scrambled in May to find an ordinance that artist Piotr Janowski might have violated when he covered two palm trees, and then three sides of his rented home, in heavy-duty aluminum foil, to the consternation of neighbors. Janowski is a graduate of the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, and his work has been shown in that city’s Polish Museum of America. 2. National Forest Service officials announced success in fire retardation in August by protectively sealing a remote structure near an Idaho wildfire in multi-ply foil. 3. And then there is Arthur Brown, 78, also “successful” in having kept his house in Hermitage, Pennsylvania, free of “aliens” by sealing it in foil (although neighbors griped in September about falling property values).

Latest Self-Declared Right

Officials in Carroll County, Maryland, finally released a woman in August after she had been detained for 67 days—just for declining to give her name to a traffic patrolman (who had stopped her for a broken taillight). In her idiosyncratic understanding of the U.S. Constitution’s Fifth Amendment, to “not be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against (herself)” means keeping her identity hidden from police. Eventually, sheriff’s deputies captured her fingerprints, and since they matched no outstanding warrants, she was released.

Adam Partridge Auctioneers in Liverpool announced in September that the equivalent of $10,000 would be the starting bid on a two-pound mass of whale vomit (hardened into a chunk by aging in ocean waters) picked up by a beachcomber in Wales. BBC News reported that a six-pound hunk once sold for the equivalent of $150,000; when aged into “ambergris,” the putrid waste product turns waxy and sweet-smelling and proves valuable to “high-end perfume houses.” n An international property rental service recently found a seven-bedroom castle on 200 acres in Ringuette, France, for the equivalent of $2,925 a month—which San Francisco’s KNTV immediately contrasted with the listing of a 401-square-foot apartment in the city’s Lower Haight district, offered at $3,000 per month. Another French castle (six bedrooms, a pool, three-acre garden, “several lawns”) rents for the equivalent of $4,940—about what a three-bedroom on Collins Street in San Francisco goes for.

Military veteran Gary Dixon, 65, has multiple medical issues, the worst of which is stage four lung cancer, which he says he got from Agent Orange during the Vietnam War. He takes from 10 to 15 meds a day, previously supplied by the Veterans hospital in Topeka, Kansas, but for post-traumatic stress and anxiety, he also smokes marijuana when he can get it. (Kansas has not legalized medical marijuana.) A recent policy change by the VA bars pain meds for marijuana users, leading Dixon to fend for himself for the meds (about $400 a month, he said), because he so badly needs the marijuana.

Can’t Possibly Be True

An ovipositor is the organ that inserts or receives an egg (especially from parasites like bees—and that thing in “Alien”). A spokesperson from a startup firm called Primal Hardwere (in an August interview with Vice.com) assumes a human market for ovipositors and is now selling two hollowed-tube models at $120 and $130 (along with advice on creating gelatin “eggs” for insertion). The product, acknowledged the Primal Hardwere rep (to the wary interviewer), “can be … off-putting” to anyone who might not “fantasize about being the willing or unwilling host of alien beings inside them.”

pjhcalendar.com

Recurring Themes

More than three-fourths of civil cases filed in the busy Tucson, Arizona, federal court in 2014—nearly 3,000 in a courthouse open only about 250 days a year—were filed by one man, a prisoner named Dale Maisano, who was expressing disappointment with his health care as he serves his 15-year term for aggravated assault. Maisano said in July 2015 he was still getting little help for his valley fever, gallstones, sun sensitivity, leaky bladder and nerve problems in his feet.

Update

“We will not forget (rape victims). We will not abandon you.” So said Attorney General Loretta Lynch at a September self-congratulatory press conference along with Vice President Joe Biden, announcing $78 million in grants for testing rape kits that had been gathering dust for years around the country (surely allowing hundreds of rapists to have escaped punishment and some to re-offend)—except that these victims have already been “forgotten” and “abandoned” for more than five years. Biden was vice president in 2010 when News of the Weird pointed out that Illinois was violating state law by ignoring 80 percent of its rape kits, and then in 2012 when Houston revealed it was sitting on 6,663 kits (and Detroit 11,000). (News of the Weird’s understated 2010 headline: “Things That Shouldn’t Get Backlogged”).

Least Competent Criminals

Pamela Downs, 45, was arrested in Kingsport, Tennessee, in July and charged with using a counterfeit $5 bill at a gas station (a bill that was merely two photocopied sides poorly glued together, with one side upside down). Downs explained as she was being cuffed, “(A)ll these other bitches get to print money so I can too.” (She told officers later that she had read “online” that “President Obama” had “made a new law” allowing people to print money if they were on a fixed income.

A News of the Weird Classic (April 2010)

The city health office in London, Ontario, created an online sex-education game that officials hope will appeal to teenagers in that its messages are delivered by a cast of iconic superheroes. According to a February (2010) report by Canwest News Service, the players are Captain Condom (who wears a “cap”), Wonder Vag (a virgin girl), Power Pap (“sexually active”) and Willy the Kid, with each fighting the villain Sperminator, who wears a red wrestling mask and has phalluses for arms. The characters answer sex-knowledge questions and, with correct answers, obtain “protection,” but a wrong answer gets the player squirted with sperm. (The game, still online as of April 2010, can be hard to find today, but Captain Condom lives on in Canadian sex education imagery.) Thanks This Week to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors. Read more weird news at WeirdUniverse.net; send items to WeirdNews@earthlink.net, and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.

SEPTEMBER 30, 2015 | 9

n Marie Holmes tearfully disclosed in March how the $88 million Powerball lump sum she had won would allow her to finish college and help her four kids (one with cerebral palsy). Right away, though, her boyfriend, Lamar “Hot Sauce” McDow, was charged with drug trafficking and needed $3 million bail, which she took care of. Then, in August, in Brunswick County, North Carolina, “Hot Sauce” was arrested again, for selling heroin, and reporters surmised that Holmes must have been the one who posted that $6 million bail. (Holmes addressed her critics on Facebook: “What Y’all need to be worried about is Y’all money.”)

Perspective

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Leading Economic Indicators

the latest happenings in jackson hole

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

10 | SEPTEMBER 30, 2015

Embracing the Hyphen

asper, Wyoming – Nina McConingley’s mother placed a feather in her hair. It was close enough to a costume, and McConingley’s dark skin made dressing as an American Indian an easy choice. They do not celebrate Halloween in India, so navigating the American ritual was no easy task for the pair. “I was constantly asked which tribe I was from,” McConingley said. She believes this is an understandable mistake, since she is a biracial woman born to an Irish father and an East Indian mother. “I don’t look traditionally East Indian, so people just assumed I was Native American.” In a prairie full of racially homogenous people in the middle of Wyoming, it was not a hard leap for most to make. In games of cowboys and Indians, she said she did not even really consider it a possibility to go as a cowboy. She was always the Indian. But what it really felt like was “The wrong kind of Indian.” That phrase is how the University of Wyoming professor opens her book “Cowboys and East Indians,” winner of the 2014 PEN Open Book Award. Her book, which she will read from at Teton County Library Saturday, is a collection of short stories depicting life growing up in Wyoming as a person of color. In the polarizing world of Casper, selfidentification came with a learning curve. The implied differences and misidentification McConingley experienced with her peers inspired her storytelling in “Cowboys and East Indians.” Each story relies heavily upon her personal experiences, ranging from lighthearted, humorous observations to gritty, empathyinducing colloquies. “All of those stories, within reason, are in some way autobiographical,” she said. A recurrent theme in McConingley’s book is a sense of isolation due to biracial identity. “We were the only Indian family in Casper, as far as I remember,” McConingley said. “Maybe there were a few that passed through with economic opportunities, but we were the only Indians growing up. It’s not exactly the most diverse place.” According to the 2014 U.S. Census, nearly 93 percent of the citizens of Wyoming are white. With just 3 percent of the population registering as born outside of the U.S., McConingley is a rare exception. At 10 months old her parents moved from Singapore to Casper, where she grew up. She is now teaches East Indian Literature at the University of Wyoming, where she says confusion over her heritage persists. “This isn’t an American Indian Lit class?” McConingley says a few of her students ask at least once a semester. “I think it’s funny,” McConingley admits. “I’ll get these shocked looks [from my students] like ‘You’re from Casper?’ Or when I’m touring with my book, and I tell people I’m actually from Wyoming, they ask me why I live there, and I’ll tell them it’s because I love the land.” You can discern in her voice she is captivated by it. “The land feeds

How ethnic identity evolves in a homogenous place. By Natosha Hoduski

the writing more than being in a diverse place would,” McConingley said. “Once you’ve grown up in Wyoming, it’s hard to leave. At least for me, it’s hard to imagine living somewhere else where there isn’t as much open [space] or mountains.”

Check here for confusion

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

It was not always that easy for McConingley. Struggling with identity is a big part of growing up for children of any ethnic background, but the institutionalized inability to self-identify can have very damaging effects. Up until 2010, the U.S. Census did not have a box to check that allowed individuals to identify as multi-racial or biracial until 2010. A study by Michigan State University professor Kristen A. Renn on mixed-race college students identified that constraints on the ability to self-identify can be harmful developmentally. A census that only allows a person to identify as one race when they are of multi-racial heritage, according to Renn, can cause identity confusion. These implied polarities concerning ethnic background can eventually cause a sense of alienation toward part of one’s heritage. “I think I had two lives growing up,” McConingley says. “I had my life at home which was very Indian. My mom kept a very Indian house. We ate Indian food, we ate with our hands, there was a Ganesh statue right as you walked in the door. It was like walking into a little India. My dad was gone a lot as a geologist so the house always felt very Indian, but when I left the house as a child and teenager I did not embrace my Indianness at all. Whether you are of color or not, that’s always the case as teenagers – I mean, I didn’t grow up going to India. I hadn’t been [to India] as a teenager, so a lot of that was I just didn’t want to be different from all of my friends. “Now I embrace the hyphen,” McConingley said. “I love being Indian. Once I had been to India and I started writing about my experiences I learned to embrace it.”

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XXXXX Nina McConigley

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Myopic worlds

But embracing the hyphen lends importance for people of all backgrounds. While Jackson local Kurt Thomas did not spend his formative years growing up in a racially uniform area, his experiences in the West were a sharp departure from his homeland of Trinidad and Tobago. In the third grade his family moved from the Caribbean to New York City, and it was there, as an African-American, Thomas says he first experienced identity issues due to his race. In the United States, Thomas observed, there is a black and white dichotomy that sees dark things as evil and white things as clean and good that does not exist in other places around the world. “In the

Caribbean where I was born, it was a melting pot and people are respectful of each other,” Thomas said. “We had Indian people, black people, people from China, and from other different Caribbean Islands. We had different dialects, but you always did your best to respect each other and live in harmony. I never really learned about racism or separation until I moved to the U.S.” When Thomas moved to New York City it was the first time he realized that some people saw him as different. “Unless someone points out to me that I’m black or different, I don’t think about,” he said. As a young boy at Public School 19 in New York, Thomas was informed by one of his best friends that he was not allowed to have Thomas over because of the color of his skin. “I think that’s more about the way you’re raised,” he said. “In my family, I was not raised to see people as different or to treat them differently [based on their appearances]. My parents taught me to love and respect everyone, so normally if you’re taught negativity — if you’re taught to not like a different race — then you don’t know better for yourself.” According to the American Anthropological Association, physical variations in the human species have no meaning except the social ones that humans place on them. That means race is a social construct. But just because something is invented does not mean its ramifications cease to impact people. For Thomas, when as an adult he moved west to Tooele, Utah, he found himself in an entirely different sphere of people. The small conservative town left him feeling unpalatably different. He said he could tell right off the people of Tooele were not used to interacting with folks of other races. “The people there, they haven’t really traveled or seen other parts of the world,” he said. “They’re in their own little world and think that’s how it’s

supposed to be.” Resdients of Tooele, Thomas said, might go so far as to cross the street when they see someone walking toward them who look different from them. “Really it’s anyone who isn’t a part of the Mormon Church,” Thomas said. In other instances, Thomas used to work for the government, driving through parts of Wyoming, like Rock Springs and Kemmerer, where he said the vibe was far from welcoming. “Even though I was carrying a badge and had a gun, it didn’t feel the same,” he said. “Maybe it was all in my head, but you would feel different.” Thomas says he was never made to feel different when he was growing up in the Caribbean. People were people, and that is what mattered. Maybe coming from a background where Thomas got to see large parts of the globe helped shape his world view. It was certainly formative for him — he believes traveling is the cure for close-mindedness. “You get to see other cultures, the way they live. Sometimes, if you think you have it bad, you go somewhere where they are thankful for a glass of water.” Thomas is awed by the respect some people in other countries have for one another – even in places where they have very little. Luckily for Thomas, Jackson has been a stark contrast from Tooele, Utah. “While Jackson isn’t as diverse as some of the cities and other places I’ve lived before, people are really welcoming here and very, very open minded. It was actually a shock to me,” Thomas laughed. “I thought people would have been close-minded and not open to diversity, or other people moving to their little town.” Thomas hopes someday his son will move out to Jackson to raise his family. “I just can’t stop talking about Jackson,” said the airline employee. When his family asks him, “Why Wyoming?” Thomas says he happily responds: “You just have to come out here and feel the beauty and experience the

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“I never really learned about racism or separation until I moved to the U.S.”

Kallie-Jo Ho

Kurt Thomas

peace for yourself.”

The path to selfdiscovery

McConingley also has a romantic view of Jackson. She sighs over her memories as she describes a place she venerates as nearly sacred. “Whenever we would go to Jackson as kids, it was like going to a magical place,” she said. The author worked for Teton Science Schools and lived in Jackson for a few years afterward, where the serenity of the mountains here still inspires her work. It’s the beauty of places like Jackson and the freedom of Wyoming that helped McConingley first find her identity. “When you’re biracial, it’s particularly complicated growing up,” she said. “I couldn’t look to both my parents. My dad is white, my mom is Indian … you don’t know which world you belong to. I didn’t feel Irish, I didn’t feel Indian, but where I could find my identity was in being from Wyoming. That part I knew.” McConingley says she took several trips to Ireland growing up, but that was only half of her heritage. It wasn’t until she was 23 and took her first trip to India that she began to relate to the other half. “I started reading a lot of Indian literature for the first time in my senior year of college,” she said. “Before that, as an English major, it was a lot of Shakespeare and Chaucer.” In her Nonwestern Literature class, she was surprised to find herself on the pages of the works by Indian authors, and traveling to her mother’s homeland became like a pilgrimage of self-discovery.

Being the minority

Kallie-Jo Ho is an ethnographer based in Los Angeles. During her college years she made a similar journey to Kashmir where she experienced a funhouse mirror of McConingley’s experiences in Wyoming. As a white woman in her 20s,

moving to a country comprised almost entirely of people of a different ethnic, social, economic and religious background came with a few shocks. “In Kashmir, I was certainly the minority, not just ethnically but religiously,” Ho said. “I’d say 80 to 90 percent of the population is Muslim, 10 to 15 percent Hindu, and then less than 1 percent Christian/ex-pat, so maybe even more from a religious factor rather than an ethnic one I was different than the majority.” Ho and her compatriot Caprice Applequist were required to dress like locals for their study in order to respect the culture from which they were learning. “I would cover my head as a sign of cultural assimilation, I wouldn’t show my elbows, things like that,” she said. “It changed my sense of modesty after being there for a few months.” Another instance in which Ho and Applequist felt challenged was the transition from a fairly liberal Western view of a woman’s place in society to a very conservative one. In many places in Kashmir, women needed to be escorted on nearly all occasions. They were not allowed to freely walk many of the streets, and daily liberties like going to a barbeque became an ordeal as they were required to find an appropriate escort. Feeling like foreigners in a land full of ancient custom was difficult. The divergence from their liberal attitudes and their less-ritualized western culture led to loneliness and longing, but for Ho and Applequist, the transition was not permanent. With the conclusion of their ethnographic studies after six months, they returned to the U.S. Ho now teaches English as a second language to immigrants in Los Angeles where she recently finished her latest ethnography “From: América To: Los Angeles,” which details the transition of

different people groups of the Americas to the Los Angeles area. When discussing selfidentification, assimilation and loss of culture, Ho thinks it is very specific to the reasons behind a person’s migration. “Some come here to learn,” she said. “Refugees come to flee their country and bad situations with every hope of returning if things get better, but of course that doesn’t always happen. If people come for economic reasons, they have very strict goals in order to support their family, so you see different reasons for immigrating play into that. If a refugee comes, like when Persians came to LA right after 1979 and the hostage crisis and the revolution, they were like, ‘This will blow over in a few years, then we’re going back.’ They had no intention of assimilating, so they very much held onto their identity, but like the Germans or the Irish and the Chinese to a degree, by the second generation, they were barely speaking their home language and were working very hard to assimilate.”

“You want to talk about the human experience that we all understand, what it's like to not fit in.”

Cultivating compassion through narratives

For McConingley, the idea of assimilation is correlated very strongly with a loss of heritage. Because of this relationship, tracing identity through her Indian heritage has become very important to her, and it translates clearly in her writing. “I don’t mind being pigeonholed,” McConingley said of being classified as an “Indian author.” “Some people don’t like being called an IndianAmerican writer, but I don’t mind that. That is the experience I am coming from. That’s what I’m

interested in. That’s what I know. Again, I embrace that hyphen. Of course, it’s nice to be known as just a writer, but being Indian is a huge part of who I am, and I don’t know how I’d separate that from my work.” But being an Indian-American author has not narrowed McConingley’s appeal to a wide spectrum of people. McConingley’s stories are captivating and relatable, inspiring empathy and understanding that appeal to anyone that has experienced the woes of adolescence, or the pain of being misunderstood. Her stories also go deeper, unfolding tales of mixed-race identity issues, and isolation due to race, religion and heritage. McConingley’s hope is to present layers to her stories that conjure understanding. “Ultimately, for a writer of color, there are two experiences I want to put out there,” McConingley explained. “The first is there is a mixed race experience, and the second is you want to talk about the human experiences that we all understand. We all understand what it’s like to not fit in, to want to be a part of a group that doesn’t want you to be a part of it. So even though some of the stories are racially coded, they are human experiences that everyone understands. Everyone has felt like an outsider, we’ve all had feelings of isolation, felt distanced from our families, and along with those human conditions are ideas about race and identity that add a different layer.” PJH McConingley’s writing and teaching prowess will be showcased this week at the Teton County Library. She will lead a writing workshop at 10:30 a.m., Friday, Oct. 2 in the Ordway Auditorium, where she will instruct fellow writers on the art of describing foreign territories in fiction. She hopes to teach novelists how to cultivate descriptions of places they have never been in a culturally sensitive and authentic manner. McConingley also will read from her book “Cowboys and East Indians” at 6:30 p.m., Saturday, Oct. 3 in the Ordway Auditorium.

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SEPTEMBER 30, 2015 | 13

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

14 | SEPTEMBER 30, 2015

CREATIVE PEAKS Infallible Spirit TEDx talks celebrate resilience. BY KELSEY DAYTON @Kelsey_Dayton

f there is something that people in Jackson understand, it is resilience. We see it in the landscape, wildlife and in our friends and neighbors. On Sunday, we will also see it in the visionaries and storytellers who take the stage as part of TEDx Jackson Hole. The line-up includes a diverse and inspiring array of people, explained Kori Price, production coordinator for TEDx JH. The lineup includes Jackson high school students Aspen Jacquet and Mariah Morales who will each sing during the event. In its fifth year, TEDx Jackson Hole will feature speakers like Ellen Gallant, a cardiologist who dreamed of climbing Mount Everest. When she first ventured to the mountain’s base camp in 2014, 16 people died in an avalanche. When she returned the next year, an earthquake struck while she was at base camp. Instead of reaching the summit, she saved lives at base camp. Another speaker, Megan Parker, is a pioneer in training dogs for conservation and endangered species preservation. There’s also a sexual abuse survivor and a

stroke survivor. Each year TEDx Jackson Hole features a new theme. Selecting a broad theme allows speakers to approach the topic from a variety of angles. It’s not just personal stories, but also a chance to talk about science and nature. A committee selects speakers from nominations. Tickets for this year’s event sold out within a week. The Center for the Arts box office is maintaining a waiting list. People unable to secure tickets can also watch a live stream of the event in the theater’s lobby. “I think people just love to be inspired and love to hear what people are doing,” Price said. “It sparks inspiration and it sparks conversation.”

The speakers: Josh Bogle “Resistant Infection Breeds Resilient Spirit” Josh Bogle lost both his legs and right hand after catching a rare staph infection from a fishhook. But the 35-year-old former pro snowboarder is still pursuing his dreams.

Ellen Gallant “The Mountain is Calling, and I Must Go” Ellen Gallant dreamed for a decade of summiting Everest. She made it to base camp in 2014 when 16 climbers died on the mountain. She returned in 2015 and a massive earthquake created an avalanche that hit camp and killed 22 climbers.

Brian Hultman

Filmmaker Louie Schwartzberg has captivated millions of people with his TED talks.

“The Road”

“Why Resilience is a Loaded Word”

Brian Hultman suffered a massive stroke while riding LOTOJA. He ended up in a wheelchair with aphasia, but two years later prepared to finish the race.

Tracy Ross’ book “The Source of All Things” grew out of an essay about the sexual abuse she suffered from her stepfather. The journalist and editor of Mountain Magazine has also covered a variety of issues from skiing in Iran to green Evangelicals.

Damien Mander “From Sniper to Rhino Conservationist” When Damien Mander, a former sniper in the Australian Special Forces, became frustrated by the inability of law enforcement and governments to counter rhino poaching, he founded the International Anti-Poaching Foundation. The group uses military training and techniques for wildlife units to protect endangered species around the world.

Megan Parker “Dogs for Conservation” The revolutionary training methods Megan Parker uses with dogs allows them to help preserve endangered species. She is interested in using dogs to help under-funded conservation projects acquire data, reduce costs and save other animals on the brink of extinction.

Tracy Ross

Louie Schwartzberg “Saving Our Planet: Nature’s Mysteries Revealed Through a Lens”

Filmmaker Louie Schwartzberg’s TED talks have received more than 47 million views. His credits include “Mysteries of the Unseen World,” “Wings of Life,” “Moving Art” and “Super Soul Sunday.” He will talk about the resiliency of nature, how mushrooms can save the planet and how nature uses its beauty as a tool for survival. 2015 TEDx Jackson Hole: Resilience, 6 p.m. Sunday, Center for the Arts. Doors open with food and music at 5 p.m. Tickets are sold out, but add your name to the waiting list by calling the Center Box Office at 733-4900. The event will also stream live in the Center for the Arts lobby. PJH

The speakers featured during Sunday’s TEDx Jackson Hole will explore how a resilient spirit has helped them accomplish their goals.

Josh Bogle

Aspen Jacquet

Tracy Ross

Megan Parker

Brian Hultman

Damien Mander

Mariah Morales

Ellen Gallant

THIS WEEK: September 30-October 6, 2015

Compiled by Caroline Zieleniewski

Local Vendor Fair Wednesday, 10am at Lucky’s Market Sample delicious seasonal treats and hang with l ocal v endors.

WEDNESDAY 9.30

$75.00. 307-733-6398 n Postural Awareness and The Alexander Technique 6:30pm, Medicine Wheel Wellness, Free. 307-699-7480 n Salsa at Dancers’ Workshop 7:00pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Tavern Trivia 7:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free. 307-733-3886 n WILD Festival: Tiger Tiger 7:00pm, The Center Theater, $12.00. 307-733-4900 n Songwriter’s Alley Open Mic 8:00pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free. 307-732-3939 n Sandee Brooks and Beyond Control 8:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, $5.00. 307-733-2207 n Vinyl Night 9:00pm, The Rose, Free. 307733-1500

THURSDAY 10.1

SEPTEMBER 30, 2015 | 15

n Business Over Breakfast 7:30am, Wort Hotel, $16.00 $25.00. 307-201-2309 n American Indian Guest Artist 8:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free. 307-739-3594 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, Free. 307-733-6398 n Grand Teton National Park Weekly Trails Volunteer Day 9:00am, Grand Teton National Park, Free. 307-739-3379

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n National Women’s Health and Fitness Day 7:00am, Teton County/Jackson Recreation Center, Free. 307739-9025 n American Indian Guest Artist 8:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free. 307-739-3594 n Jackson Hole Wildlife Film Festival 8:00am, Jackson Lake Lodge, 307-733-7016 n Pilates Mat Classes at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Coffee & Collect 10:00am, National Museum of Wildlife Art. n Tech Tutor 10:00am, Teton County Library, Free. 307-733-2164 ext. 218 n Playreading 10:00am, Off Square, $225.00. 307-733-3021 n Lucky’s Market Local Harvest Festival 10:00am, Lucky’s Market, Free. 307-264-1633 n Spark Lunch & Learn: Working Towards Breakeven in your Startup 12:00pm, Spark, Free. n WILD Festival 1:00pm, Center for the Arts, $10.00 - $25.00. 307-733-7016

n Chess Club for Grades K-12 3:30pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free. 307733-2164 ext. 118 n Plein Air: Impressionism 3:30pm, Painting Studio, $45.00 - $55.00. 307-733-6379 n Real Characters, Grades 3rd-5th 3:30pm, Off Square, $200.00. 307-733-3021 n Semi-Private Painting + Drawing 4:00pm, Borshell Children’s Studio, $20.00 - $130.00. 307733-6379 n Junior Players, Grades 6th-8th 4:30pm, Off Square, $225.00. 307-733-3021 n Guitarist Marco Soliz at Jenny Lake Lodge 6:00pm, Jenny Lake Lodge, Free. 307-733-4647 n Climate Change, Fire, and the Future of Greater Yellowstone Featuring Dr. Monica Turner 6:00pm, Teton County Library, Free. 307-733-9417 n Summer Speaker Series 6:00pm, Teton County Library. Ordway Auditorium, Free. 307733-9417 n Art + Soul: Creative Expression 6:00pm, Multi-Purpose Studio, $100.00 - $120.00. 307-7336379 n Belly Dancing with Cheryl Toland 6:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop,

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

16 | SEPTEMBER 30, 2015

MUSIC BOX Storytelling Songs and Synth Folk troubadour hits Dornan’s, Garter gets the bass. BY AARON DAVIS @ScreenDoorPorch

hen I first interviewed folk hero Bill Staines in 2006 (from the road, of course), the ever-touring musician explained how playing at Dornan’s the same time every year is like a reunion. “It’s almost like seeing family with all of my old friends there,” he said. “Traveling does get a little more physically tiring. Ninety-nine percent of the time things are normal, but every once in a while something magical will happen, so you really never know.” Nearly a decade later, and five decades of being a touring musician, the 68-year-old Massachusetts native is still road horsing down the highway to his next familiar stage. Staines is a southpaw, and plays an upside-down, right-handed acoustic guitar. His compositions have been covered by a plethora of folk artists, most notably Peter, Paul and Mary, Jerry Jeff Walker and Nanci Griffith. “Bill Staines has been my hero since 1977,” Griffith has said. “He carries on where Woody left off—carrying on the tradition of stories and characters you wish you knew.” Staines has ties to the early 1960s Boston-Cambridge folk scene, and the blend of story, song and humor are intertwined with traditional songs and contemporary ballads. His discography includes 26 albums and Staines continues to perform about 175 shows per year. You can probably expect to hear a yodeling tune or two, as he won the National Yodeling Championship in 1975 at the Kerrville Folk Festival in Texas. He has also appeared on A Prairie Home Companion, Mountain Stage, The Good Evening show and other network TV programs. “There are a lot of songs with choruses in them, so don’t be bashful about singing the choruses, just dive right in there

Folk minstrel Bill Staines plays Dornan’s Tuesday, while on the other end of the music spectrum, SAVOY shakes up the Pink Garter with bass, synth sensibilities and a tinge of indie rock on Friday. and sing your little hearts out,” Staines tells the audience each time he performs. Bill Staines, 8 p.m. Tuesday at Dornan’s in Moose. $15 tickets at Valley Bookstore, Dornan’s or at the door. Dornans. com, 733-2415.

SAVOY melts minds A dubstep, synth-triggered, sub-bass sound spliced with an earthy indie-rock edge, electronic trio SAVOY comes to us from Boulder, Colo. DJs Ben Eberdt and Gray Smith along with endurance drummer Mike Kelly are one of the few EDM (electronic dance music) projects with live, on-the-spot instrumentation to match their digital side. With a heavy quantity of sampling and breaks, their music can be frenetic and downright dizzying — a perfect formula if you are a freaker-by-the-speaker type looking to have your head spun. Aside from trance and other sub-electronica movements, the trio can easily dip into pop, funky French house, German minimalist techno and world music. The maddening

eclecticism has brought SAVOY good fortune including an invitation to Jay-Z’s inaugural Made in America Festival last year. Back in April, Savoy supported Michal Menert Big Band at Red Rocks and this month the trio collaborated on the single “A1” with Firepower — a premiere force in the bass music scene. Denver-based Decadon will open the show. The solo act features deejay Donnie Miller — a marketing student at University of Colorado Boulder who has made a name by fusing electronic beats with rock and heavy bass. SAVOY with Decadon, 9 p.m., Friday at the Pink Garter Theatre. $15-$17. PinkGarterTheatre.com, 733-1500. PJH

Aaron Davis is an award-winning singer-songwriter, trout hunter, multi-instrumentalist, frontman for bands Screen Door Porch and Boondocks, and founder/host of Songwriter’s Alley.

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SATURDAY & SUNDAY BRUNCH 10:30am - 3:00pm Bottomless Mimosas & Bloody Marys $15

HAPPY HOUR

1/2 Off Drinks Daily 5-7pm

•••••••••••

Monday-Saturday 11am, Sunday 10:30am 832 W. Broadway (inside Plaza Liquors)•733-7901

Chamber Mixer Thursday, 5pm at Revolution Indoor Cycling Revolution Indoor Cycling will host the first Chamber Mixer of the fall with Sweetwater Restaurant. Located in the Movie Works Plaza at 870 South Highway 89, Revolution Indoor Cycling offers options to ride, row, and train. Confusion 6:45pm, Teton County/Jackson Recreation center, 307-7399025 n Spanish for Businesses 7:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $100.00. 307-733-7425 n Scene Study 7:00pm, Off Square, $225.00. 307-733-3021 n Sandee Brooks and Beyond Control 8:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, $5.00. 307-733-2207 n Karaoke 9:00pm, Virginian Saloon, Free. 307-739-9891 n Salsa Night 9:00pm, The Rose, Free. 307733-1500

- -

FRIDAY 10.2

n American Indian Guest Artist 8:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free. 307-739-3594 n bootybarre® at Dancers’ Workshop 9:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Ballet Workout at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 10:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Writers at the Library: Workshop with Nina McConigley 10:30am, Teton County Library, Free. 307-733-2164 n WILD Festival 1:00pm, Center for the Arts,

- -- -

- -

HAPPY HOUR: 4 - 7pm,--Mon - Fri •- - GRILL: Open- daily 4 - 10pm -

750 W. Broadway • 307.739.9891

SEPTEMBER 30, 2015 | 17

Workshop 1:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Superheroes! Grades 4th-5th 3:30pm, Off Square, $200.00. 307-733-3021 n Senior GTNP Elk Bugling Outing 4:00pm, Teton County/Jackson Recreation Center, 307-7399025 n Revolution Indoor Cycling Hosts Chamber Mixer with Sweetwater Restaurant 5:00pm, Revolution Indoor Cycling, Free. 307-201-2309 n Healing Mass with Father Ubald Rugirangoga 5:30pm, Our Lady of the Mountains Catholic Church, Free. 307-690-5955 n Light the Town Pink 5:30pm, Town Square, Free. 307-739-7493 n Photography Fundamentals 6:00pm, Center for the Arts, $120.00 - $145.00. 307-7336379 n Adobe Photoshop 6:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $200.00. 307-733-7425 n Monotype 6:00pm, Drawing, Painting + Printmaking Studio, $50.00 $60.00. 307-733-6379 n Knit Nite 6:00pm, Knit on Pearl, Free. 307733-5648 n Modern Dance Class at Dancers’ Workshop 6:15pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Nutrition for Optimal Sports Performance: Clarifying Carbohydrate

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n Intermediate/Advanced Ballet @ Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Tech Tutor 10:00am, Teton County Library, Free. 307-733-2164 ext. 218 n Kindercreations 10:00am, Borshell Children’s Studio, $15.00 - $80.00. 307733-6379 n Toddler Time 10:05am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free. 307733-2164 x 118 n Storytime 10:30am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free. 307733-2164 n Voice for Public Speakers and Actors 10:30am, Off Square, $225.00. 307-733-3021 n Senior Cycle 10:30am, Victor Park, Free. 208354-2500 n Storytime 11:00am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free. 307733-2164 n Teton Toastmasters 12:00pm, Teton County Commissioners Chambers, Free. n Crystal Sound Bowl Experience with Daniela Botur 12:00pm, Intencions, Free. 307733-9290 n Acting for the Home Schooled Student 1:00pm, Off Square, $225.00. 307-733-3021 n WILD Festival 1:00pm, Center for the Arts, $10.00 - $25.00. 307-733-7016 n bootybarre® at Dancers’

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

18 | SEPTEMBER 30, 2015

UNTOLD STORIES EDGY TOPICS NEWS Email your resume or writing clips to editor@planetjh.com.

WELL, THAT HAPPENED The Marketing Awakens Introducing Disney’s plan for galactic domination. BY ANDREW MUNZ @AndrewMunz

eventy-nine days from today, the world will be introduced to the newest addition in the Star Wars saga: Episode VII “The Force Awakens.” If you’re a purist who is trying to avoid spoilers, this might not be the best column for you. I will be revealing a few plot points and character names, but only those that have been included in Disney and Lucasfilm’s recent marketing for the film. I will not be revealing any underground secrets or rumors. Since the purchase of Lucasfilm by Walt Disney Co. in 2012 (for the measly sum of $4.06 billion), Disney has gone full speed ahead with its plan for a new trilogy of films that take place after 1983’s “Return of the Jedi.” They’ve also planned additional standalone films including 2016’s “Rogue One,” which is rumored to take place before the destruction of the first Death Star in “A New Hope.” One would think that announcing a new “Star Wars” film would be enough to usher millions of people into theaters in December, but months ahead of the release, Disney and Lucasfilm are charging ahead with toys, books and games to make sure that everyone knows the name Kylo Ren before the movie comes out. On Sept. 4, Disney released a host of new action figures, LEGO sets, lightsabers and other toys during an event they dubbed “Force Friday.” J.P. Morgan estimated that Disney’s “Star Wars” merchandise push would result in nearly $500 million in revenue, likely just from “The Force Awakens” alone. The action figures included characters such as Constable Zuvio who were not revealed in the teaser trailer, nor mentioned ever before, leading to speculation among fans. But toys are only a small part of the film’s marketing. In collaboration with Del Rey Books, a series of novels are being released with the banner “Journey to Star Wars: The Force Awakens.” The one Disney wants us to care about the most is a book by Chuck Wendig called “Aftermath.” Taking place immediately after the events of “Return of the Jedi,” the story follows a group of rebels fighting back against power-hungry Imperial forces trying to ensure the survival of the Galactic Empire. Although the story has “clues” about the upcoming film (What is the

LUCASBOOKS

WRITERS WANTED

As Disney takes the Star Wars reigns, fans will find themselves confronted with a flurry of new films and the merchandise to match. Fulcrum?!), the book itself is languid, poorly written and, in terms of pacing and character development, one of the worst “Star Wars” books I’ve read. (Yes, I’ve read other “Star Wars” books and yes, I am currently single.) Another book, a young adult romance called “Lost Stars” by Claudia Grey, follows a Romeo and Juliet-type relationship between a rebel fighter and an Imperial officer. The sappy story ends during a massive space battle above the planet Jakku — the desert planet seen in the trailer. Again, the book seems rushed and stuffed with random information that is either a clue to the movie, or a poorly executed plot point imagined by the author. The plot of “The Force Awakens” has been kept secret, as have the last names of the main characters Finn and Rey. I think what makes this marketing push both super successful and very bizarre is that it’s advertising the existence of a film that we still know so little about. We know that main characters

from the original trilogy are back, and that people like the cross-guard saber guy and the silver stormtrooper are the villains, but other than that there’s only been speculation as to what the point of it all is. It makes you wonder if with all this hype and various books filled with clues (all of which has been clearly planned out for a while), will the final product be worth it? Disney will continue to make bank with the release of each film. But, it is yet to be determined if this whole upcoming trilogy will be a cash cow of epic proportions like the prequel trilogy, or if, like the original trilogy, it will cement a sense of wonder and excitement in our hearts for generations. PJH

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RABBIT ROW REPAIR WE SERVICE THEM ALL …

4 2 8 0 W. L E E P E R • W I L S O N • 3 0 7 - 7 3 3 - 4 3 3 1

OKTOBERFEST Saturday, 1pm at Snake River Brewery Hear live music from Wolfie and the Bavarians throughout the day and enjoy traditional Oktoberfest food including SRB’s famous sausage Bier Rocks. Alpinefest beer will be on tap.

SATURDAY 10.3

n Live Music 7:00pm, The Virginian Saloon, Free. 307-739-9891 n Sandee Brooks and Beyond Control 8:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, $5.00. 307-733-2207 n John Wayne’s World 10:00pm, The Rose, Free. 307733-1500

SUNDAY 10.4

n American Indian Guest Artist 8:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free. 307-739-3594 n First Sundays 9:00am, National Museum of Wildife Art, Free. 307-743-5424 n NFL Package 11:00am, The Virginian Saloon, Free. 307-739-9891 n Football at The Wort 11:00am, Silver Dollar Showroom, 307-732-3939 n NFL Sunday Football at the Trap 11:00am, The Trap Bar & Grill, Free. 307-353-2300 n 6th Annual TEDxJacksonHole: Resilience 5:00pm, Center for the Arts, $10.00 - $25.00. n Stagecoach Band 6:00pm, Stagecoach, Free. 307733-4407 n Guitarist Byron Tomingas at Jenny Lake Lodge 6:00pm, Jenny Lake Lodge, Free. 307-733-4647 n Wine Tasting on a Budget 6:00pm, Dornan’s, 307-733-2415

SEPTEMBER 30, 2015 | 19

n American Indian Guest Artist 8:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free. 307-739-3594 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 9:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Kindergarten Readiness Bus Rolls into Mike Yokel

& Powderhorn Parks with Jackson Hole Children’s Museum 9:00am, Mike Yokel Park, Free. 307-733-2164 n Barre Fusion at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Adult Oil Painting 10:00am, The Local Galleria, $25.00 - $80.00. 208-270-0883 n Wyoming 2015 Scholastic Chess Championship Tournament 10:30am, Teton County Library Ordway Auditorium, Free. 307733-2164 n Kindergarten Readiness Bus Rolls into Mike Yokel & Powderhorn Parks with Jackson Hole Children’s Museum 11:30am, Powderhorn Park, Free. 307-733-2164 n WILD Festival: Party for our National Parks 12:00pm, Center for the Arts, $10.00 - $25.00. 307-200-3286 n CONNECT THE COMMUNITY: Path22 Opening Celebration 1:00pm, Emily’s Pond, Free. n OKTOBERFEST 1:00pm, Snake River Brewery, Free. 307-739-2337 n Writers at the Library: Nina McConigley 6:30pm, Teton County Library, Free. 307-733-2164 n Pam Drews Phillips 7:00pm, The Granary, Free. 307-732-8112

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

$10.00 - $25.00. 307-733-7016 n Free Friday Wine Tasting 4:00pm, The Liquor Store, Free. 307-733-4466 n First Fridays, Driggs Art Walk 5:00pm, The Local Galleria, Free. 208-201-0833 n Guitarist Byron Tomingas at Jenny Lake Lodge 6:00pm, Jenny Lake Lodge, Free. 307-733-4647 n Jazz Night 7:00pm, The Granary at Spring Creek Ranch, Free. 307-7338833 n Three Rivers Rock ‘n’ Country 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free. 307-733-2190 n Sandee Brooks and Beyond Control 8:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, $5.00. 307-733-2207 n Savoy 8:00pm, Pink Garter Theatre, $15.00 - $17.00. 307-733-1500 n Bo Elledge 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free. 307-733-3886

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

20 | SEPTEMBER 30, 2015

For complete event details visit pjhcalendar.com.

GET OUT

n Taize 7:00pm, St. John’s Episcopal Church, Free. 307-733-2603 n Down in the Roots Band 7:00pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free. 307732-3939 n Tram Closes Jackson Hole Mountain Resort. 307-733-2292

n Ski Fitness with Whitney Wright 7:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $225.00. 307-7336398 n American Indian Guest Artist 8:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free. 307739-3594 n Pilates Mat Classes at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Wilderness First Responder 9:00am, Center for the Arts, $725.00. 307-7337425 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Little Hands, Little Feet 10:30am, Borshell Children’s Studio, $15.00 $80.00. 307-733-6379 n Story Time - Victor 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free. 208-787-2201 n Creative Adventure, Grades K-2nd 3:30pm, Off Square, $200.00. 307-733-3021 n After School Kidzart Club 3:30pm, Borshell Children’s Studio, $135.00 $165.00. 307-733-6379 n Hand + Wheel 4:00pm, Ceramics Studio, $125.00 - $150.00. 307-733-6379 n Voice for Public Speakers and Actors 4:30pm, Off Square Theatre, $225.00. 307-7333021 n Open Range 4:30pm, Archery Range at the Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50. 307-739-9025 n Explore Archery 4:45pm, Teton County Parks and Rec Gym, $7.00. 307-739-9025 n Barre Fusion at Dancers’ Workshop 5:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Monday Sitting Group 6:00pm, Chiropractic and Sports Injury Center, 307-733-7584 n Beginning Throwing 6:00pm, Ceramics Studio, $155.00 - $185.00. 307-733-6379 n Open Level Ballet at Dancers’ Workshop 6:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Monday Night Football 6:30pm, The Virginian Saloon, Free. 307-7399891 n The JH Chorale Rehearsals 7:00pm, Music Center in the Center for the Arts, Free. 585-872-4934 n Sandee Brooks and Beyond Control 8:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, $5.00. 307-733-2207

ELIZABETH KOUTRELAKOS

MONDAY 10.5

Steep Serenity Onward and upward, Lake of the Crags is a quiet alternative to Snow King. BY ELIZABETH KOUTRELAKOS

espite the unseasonably warm temperatures, winter may be on its way. While this can sometimes fill the air with excitement, the underlying anticipation of a change of seasons sometimes makes me want to turn my brain off and walk up a hill. By up, I mean a straight, mindless, steep incline. When I find myself in town, Snow King has historically been the place to go where I can escape the bustle of errands and get a breath of fresh air. The old “boot pack” trail served as a great respite to the monotony of the switchbacks. Upon a recent excursion to the town hill, I discovered that hikers are no longer allowed to walk directly up the hill — the old trails are covered with hay and netting. While the new trail is fantastically built (great work, trail crew), the narrowness makes it a bit of a cluster for bikers, runners and walkers. I tried to turn my brain off and attempted the new trail, but after dodging dogs and humans, I concluded it might not be the best place for a quiet escape and decided

Peering down Hanging Canyon onto Ramshead Lake (top); fall foliage framing Ramshead Lake (left); Rock of Ages towers over Lake of the Crags. the ideal plan of action was to find another spot. The quest led me to Hanging Canyon, nestled between Cascade and Laurel drainages. From the String Lake trailhead, I walked a little more than a mile to the small social trail just north of the Jenny Lake boat dock. The first part of the trail is crossed with running water under large roots. A mystical land of springs and old-growth spruce, the magical beginnings give the mountain walker a small taste of what is to come. The little path took me up a moraine into bugling elk land. At the crest of the first hill, I spotted a bull with his head down bellowing a deep prehistoric noise in a feeble attempt to gain female companionship. I cared not to catch him in the midst of success and continued my way up to the top of the first waterfall. From here, you may be compelled to think you are almost there but it is only halfway (in vertical feet language). On a warm fall day, the air gets exceptionally cooler and starts to feel exceptionally pleasant at this spot. Continuing up the north side of the drainage, some pikas partied hard, chirping about, bustling while collecting food in preparation for the frigid months ahead. These small creatures never cease to amaze me. All summer long, they collect grasses and flowers to store up for the winter. Friends of mine have called them annoying and small-brained, but these intuitive creatures actually dry out their flowers in the sun before storing them to prevent them from molding. This tiny species has a great resolve

to survive, and have even been known to store their own feces in small pyramids and ingest them later. I suppose desperate times call for desperate measures in the middle of winter. After spending some time with these great recyclers, I came to the first body of water — Arrowhead Pond. It’s not much of a lake and I didn’t swim in it, but this marker told me I was close to my destination. Another small waterfall and drainage later, I approached Ramshead Lake. This unique spot offered great views of St. John and some wonderful sitting rocks. Still, I wanted to continue to the highest lake, Lake of the Crags, lying just above Ramshead with even better views of the Jaw and Rock of Ages. I sat in a grassy meadow snacking and napping when I was awakened with a splash. Some bold people were swimming in the freezing excuse for a swimming hole. Watching them was almost as interesting as observing the pikas as they laughed and swam, then eventually they got so cold they had to put on their down coats. Continuing down the trail, I thought that this trail was a good change of pace to the now-extinct vertical on the town hill. With no one to dodge, the walking up and down afforded a peace of mind that may be a bit more difficult to obtain within the bustle of town. PJH Vertical feet: about 2,500; miles: 5.5 miles round trip

DEEPEN YOUR YOGA PRACTICE… COME HOME TO YOUR SPIRIT

SOLE TO SOUL

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| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

SEPTEMBER 30, 2015 | 21

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

22 | SEPTEMBER 30, 2015

For complete event details visit pjhcalendar.com.

TUESDAY 10.6

n American Indian Guest Artist 8:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free. 307739-3594 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, Free. 307-7336398 n Wilderness First Responder 9:00am, Center for the Arts, $725.00. 307-7337425 n Ballet Workout at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Toddler Time 10:05am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free. 307-733-2164 x 118 n Toddler Time 10:35am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free. 307-733-2164 x 118 n Toddler Time 11:05am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free. 307-733-2164 x 118 n Crystal Sound Bowl Experience with Daniela Botur 12:00pm, Intencions, Free. 307-733-9290 n Businss Development Luncheon 12:00pm, Ranch Inn Hotel, 307-733-3316 n MELT at Dancers’ Workshop 12:10pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n bootybarre® at Dancers’ Workshop 1:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Superheroes! Grades 2nd-3rd 3:30pm, Off Square, $200.00. 307-733-3021 n Disc Golf Doubles 5:30pm, Disc Golf Course, $3.00. 614-506-7275 n Oneness Deeksha 5:30pm, Spirit, $1.00 - $5.00. 307-733-3382 n Photography Fundamentals 6:00pm, Center for the Arts, $120.00 - $145.00. 307-733-6379 n Intro to Social Media Seminar 6:00pm, Center for the Arts, $40.00. 307-7337425 n L.E.A.D (Latino Employees Achieving Dreams) 6:00pm, Latino Resource Center, 307-734-0333 n Beginning Throwing 6:00pm, Ceramics Studio, $155.00 - $185.00. 307-733-6379 n Spanish for Beginners 2 7:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $100.00. n Hip Hop at Dancers’ Workshop 7:00pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00. 307-733-6398 n Adult Oil Painting 7:00pm, The Local Galleria, $25.00 - $80.00. 208-270-0883 n Playwritting 7:00pm, Off Square, $225.00. 307-733-3021 n “Cultivating Mindfulness in Your Daily Life” 7:00pm, Spring Creek Ranch, Free. 307-7397493 n Sandee Brooks and Beyond Control 8:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, $5.00. 307-733-2207 n Open Mic Night 9:00pm, Virginian Saloon, Free. 307-739-9891

CINEMA

THE MARTIAN

Problem Solvers ‘The Martian’ creates a survival epic in which the scientific method is the hero. BY SCOTT RENSHAW @scottrenshaw

“I

’m going to have to science the shit out of this,” says Mark Watney (Matt Damon) early in “The Martian”—and it’s hard to imagine a more essential manifesto for the 21st century. Watney, as it happens has no choice in adopting that ethic: A member of a six-person research expedition to Mars, he’s been left behind after a massive storm forces them abruptly to abort the mission, and he’s lost and presumed dead when his suit’s vital-signs indicators go offline. He’s staring down the reality of his situation from the “hab” (living quarters) left on the planet’s surface: Nobody knows he’s alive to send a rescue. The next manned mission isn’t scheduled to arrive for another four years. And he doesn’t have enough food to survive that long. On its most basic level, “The Martian” is merely a procedural, mixing a little “Cast Away” with a lot of “Apollo 13” while addressing the nuts and bolts of how a single human, stranded in a place where a single human isn’t supposed to be able to survive, might somehow manage to do exactly that. But director Ridley Scott (“Alien”) and screenwriter Drew Goddard (“Cloverfield”), while adapting Andy Weir’s novel, have put together something that’s even more than a simple testament to good old-fashioned American ingenuity. It’s a celebration of the idea that a problem is something that can be solved, if you’re prepared to set aside all the distracting nonsense and—as Watney puts it late in the film—”just begin.” The narrative swings primarily between Watney’s ongoing efforts to map out a survival strategy and events on earth, where satellite images eventually clue officials at NASA—including Mars mission chief Kapoor (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and NASA’s director (Jeff Daniels)— into the fact that he’s actually still alive. It

Matt Damon in ‘The Martian.’ winds up being crucial that we get both perspectives, and not just for the fundamental necessities of plot. While Watney’s obstacles are basically his limited resources and the inhospitable environment, the NASA crew faces even more issues than the ones that can be solved by science up against a ticking clock: Can they get the funding needed for whatever they come up with? How can they spin the PR of having mistakenly reported Watney as dead, and leaving him behind? Should they inform the rest of Watney’s team—led by Captain Lewis (Jessica Chastain)—that he’s still alive? “The Martian” reminds us that it’s a complex equation, this matter of problem-solving, because there are always people involved, and people are complicated, sometimes irrational creatures. Watney himself is one of those people, and Damon’s performance turns him into a guy with a sardonic sense of humor that helps keep him going even when his prospects look bleak. But there’s an element to the character that’s more than just his entertaining punch lines; what we see in his video diary entries is simple pride in the notion that he’s applying his training and intelligence in a way that’s working (at least most of the time). There’s a giddiness to Watney that feels like a characteristic of so many pioneers, something that translates as, “Sure, there are risks involved, but isn’t it amazing that this thing is possible, and that I’m someone who’s doing it?” It’s true that “The Martian” strips most of the

other characters to the level of their most rudimentary narrative functionality, even if there’s a satisfying diversity among those characters. It’s similarly true that the story takes on a cyclical quality, as either Watney or the NASA team comes up with some sort of plan, experiences initial success, then has to regroup after facing unexpected setbacks. Yet far from being a bug in the structure of “The Martian,” that repetition is a feature. At its core, it’s a survival epic in which the hero is the scientific method: developing testable theories, gathering the data, refining the tests, sometimes going back to the drawing board. And the sheer dogged determination of these people to find something that will work—trying, failing, re-trying, re-failing, re-re-trying—makes it not just exciting on a storytelling level, but inspirational. Anyone choosing to nit-pick the scientific specifics of “The Martian” is missing the point. With a succession of potential catastrophes sometimes seeming to add nothing but shit into the modern world, it’s wonderful to consider the possibility that we could science that shit out of it. PJH

THE MARTIAN

BBB.5 Matt Damon Chiwetel Ejiofor Jessica Chastain Rated PG-13

TRY THESE “Alien” (1979) Sigourney Weaver Ian Holm Rated R

“Apollo 13” (1995) Tom Hanks Ed Harris Rated PG-13

“Cast Away” (2000) Tom Hanks Helen Hunt Rated PG-13

“Cloverfield” (2008) Mike Vogel Jessica Lewis Rated PG-13

TRUE BY B I L L F R O S T @bill_frost

Ice Holes ‘Benders,’ ‘Dr. Ken’ and ‘Casual’ debut; ‘American Horror Story’ checks into ‘Hotel.’ Benders Thursday, Oct. 1 (IFC)

Dr. Ken Friday, Oct. 2 (ABC)

Never

Denis Leary delves into stick and puck humor with his latest production playing on IFC, ‘Benders.’ zy work and family life, and … well, that’s all there is. And no, ABC, the fact that Jeong was actually a doctor before becoming an actor does not add to the comedy in the least.

The Leftovers Sunday, Oct. 4 (HBO) Season Premiere: Remember last year’s feel-bad hit of the summer, The Leftovers? The bleak tale of the aftermath of an unexplained kinda-Rapture that saw 2 percent of the world’s population literally disappear didn’t inspire Game of Thrones-level interest (maybe not even Hello Ladies-level), but it was still an intriguing depresso-wallow. In Season 2, New York cop Kevin Garvey (Justin Theroux) and family, and a whole lot of other travelers, are headed to Jarden, Texas (aka “The Jarden of Eden”), a “miracle” town from where no one was taken in the great Departure. It’s a chance for the spiritually-devastated Garveys to start over, and there’s no chance of loony cult activity in this community, right? Wrong. Break out the tissues; hide the pills and sharp objects.

Casual Wednesday, Oct. 7 (Hulu) Series Debut: Director Jason Reitman (“Up In the Air,” “Juno”) probably didn’t mean to remake Fox’s canceled 2012 sitcom “Ben & Kate,” but no one saw that, so who cares? Casual stars Michaela Watkins (scene-stealer of a hundred comedies, most recently “Trophy Wife” and Netflix’s “Wet Hot American Summer”) and Tommy Dewey (“The Mindy Project”) as a divorcee single mom and her bachelor brother as once-again roommates trying (and mostly awkwardly failing) to teach each other how to navigate the Tinder age.

It’s sharp, funny and everything corporate cousin NBC’s “Comedy Division” (now located in an abandoned basement utility closet) has completely given up on.

American Horror Story: Hotel Wednesday, Oct. 7 (FX) Season Premiere: Creator/producer Ryan Murphy has said that Season 5 of his anthology series “American Horror Story” will be “Much more horror-based … much more dark … a little bloodier and grislier.” Whoa. That may seem impossible after 2014’s colorfully bizarre “Freak Show” installment (you’re still missed, Stabby the Clown), but the present-day-set, Los Angeles-based “Hotel” is a return to AHS’ Season 1 roots, the fantastic but sometimes overlooked “Murder House” debut. That initial run leaned far more scary than funny, and “Hotel” doubles-down on both the darkness and star power. In addition to a slew of returning “American Horror Story” players (with the exception of Connie Britton yet again— damned Nashville), model/tabloid regular Naomi Campbell, New Girl’s Max Greenberg and little-known indie singer Lady Gaga will also be checking into the Hotel Cortez (and, presumably, never checking out). Although “Hotel” is connected to “Murder House,” and will feature characters from “Asylum,” “Coven” and “Freak Show,” AHS will somehow work around the absence of the series’ figurehead, Jessica Lange (Season 5 is the first without her). The stacked cast and elevated horror may be overcompensation … and The Only TV Column That Matters™ will gladly take it. PJH

For all MEETING AGENDAS AND MINUTES WEEKLY CALENDAR JOB OPENINGS SOLICITATIONS FOR BIDS PUBLIC NOTICES AND OTHER VALUABLE INFORMATION

Visit our website

TetonWyo.org The public meeting agendas and minutes for the Board of County Commissioners and Planning Commission can also be found in the Public Notices section of the JH News and Guide.

SEPTEMBER 30, 2015 | 23

Series Debut: In the fall battle for Worst New Comedy (not to mention First Cancellation), “Dr. Ken” may have the edge over “Grandfathered” and “Truth Be Told.” The latter two have stars that could, in theory, carry a well-executed comedy, whereas Ken Jeong (“The Hangover,” “Community”) is the definition of the A Little Goes a Long Way Side Player Who Should Never, Ever Be Expected to Carry a Show on His Own (see also: any former Seinfeld costar who’s not Julia Louis-Dreyfus). Jeong is Dr. Ken Park, a physician with a cra-

Later

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Series Debut: Denis Leary has produced shows about firefighters (“Rescue Me”), EMTs (“Sirens”) and music (“Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll”), so it was inevitable that he’d get around to another of his obsessions: hockey. “Benders’” beer-soaked concept of an amateur hockey league that spends more time bro-bonding and trash-talking off the ice than playing on it feels a bit off-brand for IFC, which has established itself with a more highbrow style of comedy (or whatever you’d call “Maron” and “Documentary Now!”). But, “Benders” is the best new hockey-themed comedy of this season, so it has that going for it.

Now

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

24 | SEPTEMBER 30, 2015

BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

German Engineering Riesling from Deutschland is versatile and affordable. BY TED SCHEFFLER @critic1

he recent dustup over Germany’s Volkswagen-Audi playing free and loose with auto emissions happened to coincide with my re-acquaintance of a different feat of German engineering: Riesling. Nobody does it better, and Riesling doesn’t foul the air we breathe. In the autumn, when we’re beginning to feel a slight chill in the air, that’s when I return to Riesling. Not that it doesn’t serve as a perfectly good spring and summer wine—or, all-year-round wine, for that matter. It’s just that Riesling seems to work so well with fall flavors and dishes like grilled brats, choucroute garni, schnitzel, späetzle and the like. Indeed, Riesling is so versatile and food-friendly that, when I once asked the French sommelier at the renown 3-star

Michelin Paris restaurant Taillevent what his favorite everyday wine was, he said “Riesling from Germany.” Sacré bleu! Last week I wrote about the wonderful wines of Alsace, in France, so this week I thought I’d cross the border into Germany and give its Riesling a little love. And, there’s a lot to love about German Riesling. For starters, the price: Whereas a high-quality French white Burgundy can set you back a car payment, German Riesling—even very good ones—can be had for $25 or less. Let’s dispense of the biggest Riesling myth: that they are sweet wines. Wines made from the Riesling grape can be sweet, but most aren’t. Many are bone-dry (trocken) or “half-dry” (halbtrocken); when you see either of those words on a German Riesling label, you know you’re in dry white wine territory. At the other end of the spectrum are indeed sweeter renditions of Riesling like eiswein and trockenbeerenauslese, but these are in the minority in terms of overall production of Riesling in Germany. Twenty-two percent of Germany’s vineyards are planted with Riesling. In the Rheingau, however, where you’ll find some of the world’s best Rieslings, that varietal makes up 80 percent of the region’s vineyards. Other Riesling-heavy regions include the Mosel, Rheinhessen, Baden, Pfalz, Württemberg and the Nahe. Look for Riesling

IMBIBE wines from those winemaking regions and you can’t really go wrong. If you’d like to get to know Riesling a bit better, here are a few good ones to try. Selling at a mere $9.99, St. Urbans-Hof Nik Weis Selection Urban Riesling from the Mosel is a good place to start. It’s rich and concentrated, with pretty peach flavors and racy, citrusy acidity. A third generation German winemaker, Nik Weis produces economical Rieslings that are some of the best bargains around. I really like this one when I’m enjoy rahm schnitzel. For a couple dollars more, try Loosen Bros. “Dr. L.” Riesling ($12.65). This German Riesling was honored as one of Wine Spectator’s Top 100 Wines in 2012 and 2008 and named “Best Value” and “Best Buy” by Wine Spectator and Wine Enthusiast. But don’t take their word for it. Uncork a bottle for yourself to discover the elegant style of a

Loosen Bros. Riesling. It’s a fruity wine, with an appealing minerality that I find makes it a good partner for fresh-shucked oysters. Situated in the A s s m a n n s h au s e n , in the Rheingau region of Germany, the wine estate of August Kesseler produces high-quality, affordable wines like the luscious August Kesseler “R” Riesling Kabinett ($13.99). It’s an everyday sipping wine at an everyday price, with the marked minerality common in Rheingau wines, balanced by apple and peach fruitiness. Now’s a good time to revel in Riesling. PJH

SCOOP UP THESE SAVINGS

1/16TH COLOR AD Local is a modern American steakhouse and bar located on Jackson’s historic town square. Serving locally raised beef and, regional game, fresh seafood and seasonally inspired food, Local offers the perfect setting for lunch, drinks or dinner.

Lunch 11:30am Monday-Saturday Dinner 5:30pm Nightly

Trio is located just off the town square in downtown Jackson, and is owned & operated by local chefs with a passion for good food. Our menu features contemporary American dishes inspired by classic bistro cuisine. Daily specials feature wild game, fish and meats. Enjoy a glass of wine at the bar in front of the wood-burning oven and watch the chefs perform in the open kitchen.

• FREE PRINT LISTING (50-75 WORDS) • FREE ONLINE LISTING ON PLANETJH.COM • 6 MONTH MINIMUM COMMITMENT • $25 A WEEK CASH OR $40 A WEEK TRADE ON HALF OFF JH

CONTACT YOUR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE TODAY TO LEARN MORE

Dinner Nightly at 5:30pm

HAPPY HOUR Daily 4-6:00pm

307.201.1717 | LOCALJH.COM ON THE TOWN SQUARE

45 S. Glenwood Available for private events & catering

SALES@PLANETJH.COM OR 307.732.0299

For reservations please call 734-8038

home of melvin brewing 20 craft beers on tap | food til midnight!

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

20%OFF ENTIRE BILL

Good between 5:30-6pm • Open nightly at 5:30pm

733-3912 160 N. Millward

Make your reservation online at bluelionrestaurant.com

Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom and pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves!

ASIAN & CHINESE TETON THAI Serving the world’s most exciting cuisine. Teton Thai offers a splendid array of flavors: sweet, hot, sour, salt and bitter. All balanced and blended perfectly, satisfying the most discriminating palate. Open daily. 7432 Granite Loop Road in Teton Village, (307) 733-0022 and in Driggs, (208) 7878424, tetonthai.com.

KAZUMI

Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally FRESH FOOD at reasonable prices, is a always a FUN PLACE to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel RIGHT AT HOME and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit. Reservations at (307) 733-4913 3295 Village Drive • Teton Village, WY

www.mangymoose.com

Kazumi is a family-owned and operated restaurant serving unique sushi rolls, fresh sashimi and nigiri, and off-the-charts specialty items. Located near the Town Square, we also feature hot noodle soups and the spiciest rolls in town! Open Monday through Saturday at 11 a.m - 9:30 p.m. 265 West Broadway, 307-733-9168, jacksonholesushi.com.

ADD

Medium Fries, Medium Soft Drink and you’ve got a Hot, Tasty Deal for only

CONTINENTAL THE BLUE LION A Jackson Hole favorite for 37 years. Join us in the charming atmosphere of a historic home. Ask a local about our rack of lamb. Serving fresh fish, elk, poultry, steaks, and vegetarian entrées. Live acoustic guitar music most nights. Open nightly at 5:30 p.m. Early Bird Special: 20% off Entire Bill between 5:30-6:00pm. Must mention ad. Reservations recommended, walk-ins welcome. 160 N. Millward, (307) 733-3912, bluelionrestaurant.com

(for a limited time only)

$5.99 (plus tax)

CAFE GENEVIEVE

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Serving inspired home cooked classics in a historic log cabin. Enjoy brunch daily at 8 a.m., dinner nightly at 5 p.m., and happy hour daily 3-5:30 p.m. featuring $5 glasses of wine, $5 specialty drinks, $3 bottled beer. 135 E. Broadway, (307) 732-1910, genevievejh.com.

ELEANOR’S

FOOD ONLY. GRATUITY & ALCOHOL NOT INCLUDED.

265 WEST BROADWAY 307-733-9168 JACKSONHOLESUSHI.COM

FULL STEAM SUBS The deli that’ll rock your belly. Jackson’s newest sub shop serves steamed subs,

1110 W. Broadway • Open daily 5:00am to midnight

SEPTEMBER 30, 2015 | 25

10% OFF

WHEN YOU BRING THIS AD IN

Enjoy all the perks of fine dining, minus the dress code at Eleanor’s, serving rich, saucy dishes in a warm and friendly setting. Eleanor’s is a primo brunch spot on Sunday afternoons. Its bar alone is an attraction, thanks to reasonably priced drinks and a loyal crowd. Come get a belly-full of our two-time gold medal wings. Open at 11 a.m. daily. 832 W. Broadway, (307) 733-7901.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

26 | SEPTEMBER 30, 2015

THE LOCALS

FAVORITE PIZZA 2012, 2013 & 2014 •••••••••

Breakfast Lunch Dinner •••••••

Open daily 8am 145 N. Glenwood • (307) 734-0882 WWW.TETONLOTUSCAFE.COM

$4 Well Drink Specials

LUNCH

SPECIAL Slice, salad & soda

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

TV Sports Packages and 7 Screens

Under the Pink Garter Theatre (307) 734-PINK • www.pinkygs.com

FAMILY FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT

Steamed Subs Hot Dogs Soups & Salads

The Deli That’ll Rock Your Belly 307-733-3448 | Open Daily 11am-7pm 180 N. Center St. | 1 block n. of Town Square Next to Home Ranch Parking Lot

PIZZAS, PASTAS & MORE HOUSEMADE BREAD & DESSERTS FRESH, LOCALLY SOURCED OFFERINGS TAKE OUT AVAILABLE Dining room and bar open nightly at 5:00pm (307) 733-2460 • 2560 Moose Wilson Road • Wilson, WY

A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965

Take-out just got easier!

Order online at PizzeriaCaldera.com or via our app for iOS or Android.

11am - 9:30pm daily 20 W Broadway 307 - 201 - 1472

Large Specialty Pizza ADD: Wings (8 pc)

Medium Pizza (1 topping) Stuffed Cheesy Bread

$ 13 99

for an extra $5.99/each

(307) 733-0330 520 S. Hwy. 89 • Jackson, WY

reubens, gyros, delicious all beef hot dogs, soups and salads. We offer Chicago style hot dogs done just the way they do in the windy city. Open daily11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Located just a short block north of the Town Square at 180 N. Center Street, (307) 733-3448.

LOCAL Local, a modern American steakhouse and bar, is located on Jackson’s historic town square. Our menu features both classic and specialty cuts of locally-ranched meats and wild game alongside fresh seafood, shellfish, houseground burgers, and seasonally-inspired food. We offer an extensive wine list and an abundance of locally-sourced products. Offering a casual and vibrant bar atmosphere with 12 beers on tap as well as a relaxed dining room, Local is the perfect spot to grab a burger for lunch or to have drinks and dinner with friends. Our deck is open! Lunch Daily 11:30am. Dinner Nightly 5:30pm 55 North Cache, (307) 201-1717, localjh.com.

LOTUS CAFE Serving organic, freshly-made world cuisine while catering to all eating styles. Endless organic and natural meat, vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free choices. Offering super smoothies, fresh extracted juices, espresso and tea. Full bar and house-infused botanical spirits. Open daily 8am for breakfast lunch and dinner. 145 N. Glenwood St., (307) 734-0882, tetonlotuscafe.com.

MANGY MOOSE Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally fresh food at reasonable prices, is a always a fun place to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel right at home and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit. Teton Village, (307) 733-4913, mangymoose. com.

SNAKE RIVER BREWERY & RESTAURANT America’s most award-winning microbrewery is serving lunch and dinner. Take in the atmosphere while enjoying wood-fired pizzas, pastas, burgers, sandwiches, soups, salads and desserts. $9 lunch menu. Happy hour 4 to 6 p.m., including tasty hot wings. The freshest beer in the valley, right from the source! Free WiFi. Open 11:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. 265 S. Millward. (307) 739-2337, snakeriverbrewing.com.

SWEETWATER Satisfying locals for lunch and dinner for over 36 years with deliciously affordable comfort food. Extensive local and regional beer list. Lunch 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. features blackened trout salad, elk melt, wild west chili and vegetarian specialties. Dinner 5:30 to 9

p.m. including potato-crusted trout, 16 ounce ribeye, vegan and wild game. Reservations welcome. (307) 733-3553. sweetwaterjackson.com.

TRIO Owned and operated by Chefs with a passion for good food, Trio is located right off the Town square in downtown Jackson. Featuring a variety of cuisines in a relaxed atmosphere, Trio is famous for its wood-oven pizzas, specialty cocktails and waffle fries with bleu cheese fondue. Dinner nightly at 5:30 p.m. Reservations. (307) 734-8038 or bistrotrio.com.

ITALIAN CALICO A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965, the Calico continues to be one of the most popular restaurants in the Valley. The Calico offers the right combination of really good food, (much of which is grown in our own gardens in the summer), friendly staff; a reasonably priced menu and a large selection of wine. Our bar scene is eclectic with a welcoming vibe. Open nightly at 5 p.m. 2560 Moose Wilson Rd., (307) 733-2460.

MEXICAN EL ABUELITO Serving authentic Mexican cuisine and appetizers in a unique Mexican atmosphere. Home of the original Jumbo Margarita. Featuring a full bar with a large selection of authentic Mexican beers. Lunch served weekdays 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Nightly dinner specials. Open seven days, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. 385 W. Broadway, (307) 733-1207.

PIZZA DOMINO’S PIZZA Hot and delicious delivered to your door. Hand-tossed, deep dish, crunchy thin, Brooklyn style and artisan pizzas; bread bowl pastas, and oven baked sandwiches; chicken wings, cheesy breads and desserts. Delivery. 520 S. Hwy. 89 in Kmart Plaza, (307) 733-0330.

PINKY G’S The locals favorite! Voted Best Pizza in Jackson Hole 2012, 2013 and 2014. Seek out this hidden gem under the Pink Garter Theatre for NY pizza by the slice, salads, stromboli’s, calzones and many appetizers to choose from. Try the $7 ‘Triple S’ lunch special.Happy hours 10 p.m. - 12 a.m. Sun.- Thu. Text PINK to 71441 for discounts. Delivery and take-out. Open daily 11a.m. to 2 a.m. 50 W. Broadway, (307) 734-PINK.

REDNECK PERSPECTIVE SATIRE

Hillbilly Hip Living life as a Hog Island hipster. BY CLYDE THORNHILL

was getting bored with Lil, Susie and Alice. Blythe was out of town. The off-season’s meager selection of Utah girls was also uninspiring so I headed to the bagel shop hoping for a bohemian coffeehouse girl. Bohemian girls can provide a variety of pleasurable options if one can pass off as being a hipster. In an attempt to look hip, I ordered a latté and bagel. After trying to gnaw through the dry seven-grain bagel I began to wonder if a bohemian coffeehouse girl was worth the effort. In fact, I am considering starting an Old Bill’s qualified nonprofit to raise money to buy the bagel shop a fat fryer. After sipping my latté (a combo of milk and bubbles), I boldly approached a girl whose tattoos and nose ring suggested moral depravity. Moral depravity is my favorite female characteristic. “I had the best wine and hamachi sashimi at Nikai last night,” I said in the superior tone of a hip, sophisticated foodie, someone who would actually choose to eat raw fish while guzzling rotted grape juice. “Nikai flies in fresh ice packed sustainably harvested tuna,” I continued, offering a look of disdain for those who would dare consume tuna killed in an unsustainable manner. Despite my concern for sustainability and my professed love of fresh, flown-in fish, the woman looked at me with disinterest. “Get lost,” she said. “You may think you’re hip, but any idiot can tell you’re from Hog Island.”

I was devastated and related my tale of woe at the weekly poker game. Bill Fix, the renowned Jackson attorney known for winning big awards if not big poker pots, was indignant. “Being from Hog Island, you are biologically, anatomically and socially unhip,” he explained. “But just because you’ve lived your life as a redneck, if you are more comfortable living as a hipster, and if you identify as a hipster, then others are legally required to treat you as a hipster. It would therefore be prejudicial to refuse a tryst merely on the basis of hipness.” I got Bill to represent me for the money I took from him when he drew to an inside straight, hit the straight and then lost to my flush. I returned to the bagel shop. The morally depraved bohemian girl was at a table with several other bohemian chicks. I presented her with a court order. “What is this?” she demanded. “A writ of habeas coupling,” I replied. “Your friend has been treating me in a way that doesn’t respect how I identify myself,” I told those sitting at the table with her. “She has shown a lack of tolerance.” “You were being intolerant?” one of her friends asked. Being intolerant is one of the worst things a bohemian can be. “I’m sorry,” she said, her eyes filling with tears of shame. “I didn’t know you identity as hip. I’ll make it up to you tonight.” “Me too,” the others cried in unison. Eating a dry, seven-grain bagel turned out to be a small price to pay. PJH

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

SEPTEMBER 30, 2015 | 27

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

28 | SEPTEMBER 30, 2015

SUDOKU

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

L.A.TIMES “PLAYING WITH YOUR FOOD” By Amy Johnson

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 4, 2015

ACROSS 01 Chariot-riding god 05 Athletic org. since 1894 09 They might be game 013 Monastery head 018 Two-thumbs-up review 019 Obeyed a court order 021 Olympic sword 022 Hymn to Apollo, say 023 Diet for ice cream lovers? 026 George who was the A.L. batting champ in three different decades 027 Like some lashes 028 Intro to physics? 029 Man cave focus 031 Ordinal extremes 032 Gently or quietly, e.g. 034 Rubik’s creation 036 Annoy your bedmate 038 __ Bo 039 Farce set in a sandwich shop? 043 Doggie bag goodie 044 Like Simba 045 “In __ of gifts ... ” 047 Previously, to Byron 050 Premier League soccer anchor Rebecca 053 Many a Mormon 056 Inked on TV’s “Ink Master” 058 Juan’s first lady 059 Israeli statesman Barak 060 Top for a beach cookout? 062 Arrogant “South Park” kid 063 “Kinda” kin 065 Lover’s end? 066 Frog haunts 068 Brownie accessory 070 Put on __ 073 Issue 074 Wayne Manor ringer 078 Impressionist’s forte 081 One of more than four billion 084 __ wolf 085 Cake recipe overhaul?

089 “The Addams Family” adjective 090 Down Under school 091 Lima resident, maybe 092 Half a droid name 093 Tiny evidence samples 094 Ziggy Marley’s genre 096 Fries, say 098 Off-the-wall 0100 Chorus of laughs 0102 Thanksgiving week for a baker? 0105 Tex.-based carrier 0108 Layered pastry 0110 Gillette razor word 0111 Relative of A-flat major 0113 Word heard when pulling a string 0114 “Find Your Own Road” sloganeer 0116 Spaceship Earth setting 0119 In 0120 Isn’t exactly humble 0122 Affair for dessert-loving bovines? 0125 What toadies do 0126 Latin 101 word 0127 It sets in Spain 0128 Rocky subj.? 0129 Almonds, e.g. 0130 Little bits 0131 To-do list item 0132 Coastal fisher

DOWN 01 Longtime PLO chairman 02 Wyndham-owned brand 03 Advance in the race? 04 Sixth __ 05 Show to a seat, in slang 06 Greek meeting site 07 Gut reactions? 08 Sam’s competitor 09 Janet Yellen’s org., with “The” 010 Large deep-water fish 011 Bed intruders 012 Rice title vampire

013 Call to cruisers, briefly 014 Without exception 015 Group that thrived during the borscht years? 016 Censor’s targets 017 Blasting supplies 020 Pasta wheat 024 Land in Paris? 025 Prize since 1901 030 Bug in a garage 033 Quaint words of determination 035 Fixes a draft 037 Byron, for one 040 Flip over 041 What opposite personalities often do 042 “Why not?!” 044 Procedural impediment 046 Monthly exp. 048 “Amores” author 049 MacArthur’s “best soldiers” 050 Paul in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 051 “The jig is up!” 052 Period of terror induced by a brat? 054 Early Chinese dynasty 055 Dick Van Patten’s “Mama” role 057 Pod opener? 061 Operettist Franz 062 Season finale, e.g. 064 Pipe remains 067 Sumac from Peru 069 Explosion sources 071 Column with a slant 072 Emilia, to Iago 074 Fuzzy memory 075 Second to none 076 “There’s __ in ... ” 077 Love deity 079 __ this world 080 __ project

082 Letters for John Smith? 083 Buffalo locale: Abbr. 086 Dog, in a way 087 Send a Dear John letter 088 Artistic theme 091 Surfing mecca 095 Like privately owned classic cars 097 Violinist Zimbalist 099 Update to reflect new routes 0101 SpongeBob’s home 0103 “Annabel Lee” poet, in some of his personal letters 0104 Paranormal 0105 Annoying bedmate 0106 Hot-and-sour alternative 0107 Sweater pattern 0108 Boot camp barker 0109 “Little House” lass 0112 Pixel pattern 0113 Degrees for CEOs 0115 Tattle 0117 Peak of Greek myth 0118 General __ chicken 0121 His, to Henri 0123 Many USMA grads 0124 Animal in a rut

WELLNESS COMMUNITY These businesses provide health or wellness services for the Jackson Hole community and its visitors.

ENO CLINIC®

CENTER FOR ADVANCED MEDICINE

Trust The Expert Mark Menolascino

MD, MS, ABIHM, ABAARM, IFMCP

Anti-Aging from the Inside-Out & the Outside-In Deep Tissue Sports Massage Thai Massage Myofascial Release Cupping

Oliver Tripp, NCTM Massage Therapist Nationally Certified

253-381-2838

180 N Center St, Unit 8 Jackson, WY 83001

Physical Therapy • Sports Medicine • Massage • Occupational Therapy • Chinese Medicine • Chiropractic Care • Nutrition • Fitness • Yoga • Acupuncture • Pilates • Personal Training • Mental Health • Energy Therapy • Homeopathy • Aromatherapy • Sound Therapy • Healing Arts Gallery

MenoClinic.com | Wilson, WY

www.fourpinespt.com

PERSONALIZED METABOLIC & NUTRITIONAL MEDICINE ANTI-AGING & FUNCTIONAL MEDICINE JAMES RANIOLO, DO • Expert Bio-identical Replacement therapy for men and women • Concierge medical plans and house-calls available • We identify and correct the underlying causes of your symptoms and disease, and often eliminate them Call now to schedule your free 15 minute phone consultation with Dr. Raniolo! (307)200-4850 | wycoh.com | 1490 Gregory Lane

To advertise in the Wellness Directory, contact Jennifer at Planet Jackson Hole at 307-732-0299 or jmarlatt@planetjh.com

SEPTEMBER 30, 2015 | 29

120 W PEARL AVENUE • MWWJH.COM • 307.699.7480

732-1039

No physician referral required. (307) 733-5577•1090 S Hwy 89

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Offering integrated health and wellness services for a healthy body, happy mind, & balanced spirit

Thyroid Imbalance Adrenal Fatigue Food Sensitivities Hormone Imbalances Supplements Hyberbarics Wrinkle Reduction Skin Tightening Hair Removal Skin Care Products & More

Professional and Individualized Treatments • Sports/Ortho Rehab • Neck and Back Rehab • Rehabilitative Pilates • Incontinence Training • Pelvic Pain Rehab • Lymphedema Treatments Norene Christensen PT, DSc, OCS, CLT Rebekah Donley PT, DPT, CPI Mark Schultheis PT, CSCS Kim Armington PTA, CPI

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

30 | SEPTEMBER 30, 2015

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19) The next seven weeks will not be a favorable time to fool around with psychic vampires and charismatic jerks. I recommend you avoid the following mistakes, as well: failing to protect the wounded areas of your psyche; demanding perfection from those you care about; and trying to fulfill questionable desires that have led you astray in the past. Now I’ll name some positive actions you’d be wise to consider: hunting for skillful healers who can relieve your angst and aches; favoring the companionship of people who are empathetic and emotionally intelligent; and getting educated about how to build the kind of intimacy you can thrive on. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) You may have seen websites that offer practical tips on how to improve your mastery of life’s little details. They tell you how to de-clutter your home, or how to keep baked goods from going stale, or why you should shop for shoes at night to get the best fit. I recently come across a humorous site that provides the opposite: bad life tips. For instance, it suggests that you make job interviews less stressful by only applying for jobs you don’t want. Put your laptop in cold water to prevent overheating. To save time, brush your teeth while you eat. In the two sets of examples I’ve just given, it’s easy to tell the difference between which tips are trustworthy and which aren’t. But in the coming days, you might find it more challenging to distinguish between the good advice and bad advice you’ll receive. Be very discerning. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) On a windy afternoon last spring I was walking through a quiet neighborhood in Berkeley. In one yard there was a garden plot filled with the young green stems of as-yet unidentifiable plants. Anchored in their midst was a small handwritten sign. Its message seemed to be directed not at passers-by like me but at the sprouts themselves. “Grow faster, you little bastards!” the sign said—as if the blooming things might be bullied into ripening. I hope you’re smart enough not to make similar demands on yourself and those you care about, Gemini. It’s not even necessary. I suspect that everything in your life will just naturally grow with vigor in the coming weeks. CANCER (June 21-July 22) “I am rooted, but I flow,” wrote Virginia Woolf in her novel The Waves. That paradoxical image reminds me of you right now. You are as grounded as a tree and as fluid as a river. Your foundation is deep and strong, even as you are resilient in your ability to adapt to changing circumstances. This is your birthright as a Cancerian! Enjoy and use the blessings it confers. (P.S. If for some strange reason you’re not experiencing an exquisite version of what I’ve described, there must be some obstacle you are mistakenly tolerating. Get rid of it.) LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Should I offer my congratulations? You have corralled a gorgeous mess of problems that are more interesting and provocative than everyone else’s. It’s unclear how long this odd good fortune will last, however. So I suggest you act decisively to take maximum advantage of the opportunities that your dilemmas have cracked open. If anyone can turn the heartache of misplaced energy into practical wisdom, you can. If anyone can harness chaos to drum up new assets, it’s you. Is it possible to be both cunning and conscientious, both strategic and ethical? For you right now, I think it is. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Let’s say you have walked along the same path or driven down the same road a thousand times. Then, one day, as you repeat your familiar route, a certain object or scene snags your attention for the first time. Maybe it’s a small fountain or a statue of the Buddhist goddess Guanyin or a wall with graffiti that says “Crap happens, but so does magic.” It has always been there. You’ve been subconsciously aware of it. But at this moment, for unknown reasons, it finally arrives in your conscious mind. I believe

this is an apt metaphor for your life in the next week. More than once, you will suddenly tune in to facts, situations, or influences that had previously been invisible to you. That’s a good thing! But it might initially bring a jolt. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) The 20th century’s most influential artist may have been Pablo Picasso. He created thousands of paintings, and was still churning them out when he was 91 years old. A journalist asked him which one was his favorite. “The next one,” he said. I suggest you adopt a similar attitude in the coming weeks, Libra. What you did in the past is irrelevant. You should neither depend on nor be weighed down by anything that has come before. For now, all that matters are the accomplishments and adventures that lie ahead of you. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) A windbreak is a line of stout trees or thick bushes that provides shelter from the wind. I think you need a metaphorical version: someone or something to shield you from a relentless force that has been putting pressure on you; a buffer zone or protected haven where you can take refuge from a stressful barrage that has been hampering your ability to act with clarity and grace. Do you know what you will have to do to get it? Here’s your battle cry: “I need sanctuary! I deserve sanctuary!” SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Your fellow Sagittarian Walt Disney accomplished a lot. He was a pioneer in the art of animation and made movies that won numerous Academy Awards. He built theme parks, created an entertainment empire, and amassed fantastic wealth. Why was he so successful? In part because he had high standards, worked hard, and harbored an obsessive devotion to his quirky vision. If you aspire to cultivate any of those qualities, now is a favorable time to raise your mastery to the next level. Disney had one other trait you might consider working on: He liked to play the game of life by his own rules. For example, his favorite breakfast was doughnuts dipped in Scotch whisky. What would be your equivalent? CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) October is Fix the Fundamentals Month. It will be a favorable time to substitute good habits for bad habits. You will attract lucky breaks and practical blessings as you work to transform overwrought compulsions into rigorous passions. You will thrive as you seek to discover the holy yearning that’s hidden at the root of devitalizing addictions. To get started, instigate free-wheeling experiments that will propel you out of your sticky rut and in the direction of a percolating groove. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Have you made your travel plans yet? Have you plotted your escape? I hope you will hightail it to a festive playground where some of your inhibitions will shrink, or else journey to a holy spot where your spiritual yearnings will ripen. What would be even better is if you made a pilgrimage to a place that satisfied both of those agendas—filled up your senses with novel enticements and fed your hunger for transcendent insights. Off you go, Aquarius! Why aren’t you already on your way? If you can’t manage a real getaway in the near future, please at least stage a jailbreak for your imagination. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Pablo Neruda’s Book of Questions consists entirely of 316 questions. It’s one of those rare texts that makes no assertions and draws no conclusions. In this spirit, and in honor of the sphinx-like phase you’re now passing through, I offer you six pertinent riddles: 1. What is the most important thing you have never done? 2. How could you play a joke on your fears? 3. Identify the people in your life who have made you real to yourself. 4. Name a good old thing you would have to give up in order to get a great new thing. 5. What’s the one feeling you want to feel more than any other in the next three years? 6. What inspires you to love?

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

Seasoned Souls When wisdom transcends age.

very generation brings in a remarkable gathering of souls who are born with new perspectives, special abilities and challenges, which will form their unique contribution to human evolution. Recently, researchers in a variety of disciplines concur they are witnessing the arrival of a wave of advanced souls. Many of these children show scientific genius. Some have totally developed artistic talents. Others are gifted healers and visionaries. The data indicates that in ever-increasing numbers kids are arriving with exceptional deep wisdom and psychic abilities. All of this is very evident by the ripe old age of 5 or 6, if not earlier. All the converging ancient prophecies for our times and evidence from all academic disciplines indicate that humanity is now at a turning point in collective evolution leading either to total self-destruction or to a significant evolutionary leap. Be certain that these gifted children are here to help us upgrade. And they are eager — if not in a hurry — to contribute what they already know as soon as possible. We are called to upgrade ourselves in order to receive their messages and to act on them. A first step is to be OK that our children may be significantly smarter, wiser and more “tuned in” to higher consciousness than we are. Next is letting go of conventional ideas of how old someone must be before they can offer his or her talents to the world. As parents and educators we also have to discover how to validate and support the contribution of this generation’s soulful gifts and, at the same time, give these children age-appropriate mentoring and structure. This is a tall order and it offers everyone the opportunity to break though limiting ideas of what’s possible so we can evolve together. Here is a short list of some common characteristics of children who are here to lead us to a new paradigm: • They always see better ways to do things at home and at school. • They are easily bored with assigned tasks. • They are in a hurry to get going. • They are highly sensitive and intuitive, intelligent and creative. • They have an obvious sense of self. • They are very perceptive about people’s character and agendas. • They express wisdom beyond their years. • They can see auras and other energies. • They may have clear memory of other lifetimes on earth and even elsewhere in the cosmos. • They are frustrated by rigid ideas and rules, which discourage exploring new possibilities. Keep in mind there are also plenty of advanced souls here facilitating a new paradigm who are not little kids. The higher frequency bandwidth of love, rather than fear, is what will activate additional strands of DNA, bring new parts of our brains on-line and allow us to become galactic citizens. If you are blessed with a child with a higher consciousness, there are resources online and support groups to help you discover and implement new ways of parenting. Be curious and excited to experience this incredible opportunity. And isn’t there a Biblical prediction that the children shall lead? Likely this means actual chronological kids and the child in each of us who is by nature open, curious, creative, imaginative, non-judgmental and loving. PJH

Carol Mann is a longtime Jackson resident, radio personality, former Grand Targhee Resort owner, author, and clairvoyant. Got a Cosmic Question? Email carol@yourcosmiccafe.com

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