Planet JH 11.11.15

JACKSON HOLE’S ALTERNATIVE VOICE | PLANETJH.COM | NOVEMBER 11-17, 2015

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2 | NOVEMBER 11, 2015

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JACKSON HOLE'S ALTERNATIVE VOICE

VOLUME 13 | ISSUE 44 | NOVEMBER 11-17, 2015

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COVER STORY THE DEATH OF SUPERMAN When adventure athletes become human.

Cover photo illustration by Cait Lee

5 GUEST OPINION 6 THE BUZZ 9 THEM ON US 16 MUSIC BOX 19 WELL, THAT HAPPENED 24 IMBIBE 30 SATIRE THE PLANET TEAM PUBLISHER Copperfield Publishing, John Saltas GENERAL MANAGER Andy Sutcliffe / asutcliffe@planetjh.com EDITOR Robyn Vincent / editor@planetjh.com ART DIRECTOR Cait Lee / art@planetjh.com SALES DIRECTOR Jen Tillotson / jen@planetjh.com

SALES EXTRAORDINAIRE Caroline Zieleniewski / caroline@planetjh.com COPY EDITOR Brielle Schaeffer CONTRIBUTORS Craig Benjamin, Mike Bressler, Rob Brezsny, Ryan Burke, Aaron Davis, Kelsey Dayton, Elizabeth Koutrelakos, Carol Mann, Andrew Munz, Jake Nichols, Ted Scheffler, Josi Stephens, Tom Tomorrow, Jim Woodmencey

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November 11, 2015

By Meteorologist Jim Woodmencey

I

Jim has been forecasting the weather here for more than 20 years. You can find more Jackson Hole Weather information at www.mountainweather.com SPONSORED BY GRAND TETON FLOOR & WINDOW COVERINGS

This past weekend it got down to 12-degrees in town, which is as cold as it has been so far this November. Last year we had a cold snap that dropped temperatures to 22-degrees below zero on November 16 and 17, 2014. The high temperature those days were in the mid-teens. The coldest it has ever been here in Jackson during this week is 27-degrees below zero. That also happened on November 16th, back in 1955.

While I don’t expect it to get hot anytime soon, there have been some November’s that were almost summer-like. November 1999 was the warmest on record, with 10 days in the first two weeks of the month that had high temperatures over 60-degrees. Record high temperatures were established each day between November 11th and 14th, with the hottest of those being 63-degrees on November 13th, 1999.

41 17 63 -27

AVERAGE PRECIPITATION: 1.3 inches RECORD PRECIPITATION: 4.24 inches (1988) AVERAGE SNOWFALL: 9.3 inches RECORD SNOWFALL: 40 inches

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NOVEMBER 11, 2015 | 3

would like to ask everyone to pause for a moment; not think about the weather, or when it might snow next, or how big of a winter are we going to have, or what El Nino will do for Jackson. This Veteran’s Day, November 11th, find time to thank those who have served this country in the military.

Thank them for allowing us the freedom to be able to live the way we do, play the way we do, and that our biggest worries are as trivial as, “what’s the weather going to do”.

WHAT’S COOL WHAT’S HOT

NORMAL HIGH NORMAL LOW RECORD HIGH IN 1999 RECORD LOW IN 1955

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Potholes to Pot

Three years ago, Wyoming was road blocked on the path to legalizing medical cannabis by major obstructionist thinking among not only our legislators, but by a main part of our citizenry as well. But there has been a change in thinking since Colorado’s legalization of recreational cannabis in many areas of Wyoming. What has turned those Boulders into mere Potholes since?

First, the dawning realization that, despite the negative publicity to start, the idea that people will DIE from using pot has been pretty well debunked by the facts.

There were several reported overdoses of edible cannabis when they first appeared on the market in Colorado, which has now tightened up its packaging and labeling rules to help prevent other incidents. These cases were mainly children whose concerned parents followed standard overdose and poisoning medical protocol in taking children to be observed in an Emergency Room for adverse events. The worst that happened? They slept it off. The best thing that happened – no one died of overdosing on medibles – the strongest dosages of pot. No one has died since despite claims that an accidental fall was “possibly” caused by ingestion of a cookie.

One of how many thousands that had no adverse effects? Much better than the stats on Wyoming manufactured OxyContin, without a doubt. Wyoming Whiskey too, for that matter. Got a brew pub in your town?

Secondly, there is a growing awareness in the media and among the local and national populace that medical marijuana works!

From epilepsy to Multiple Sclerosis and from spinal stenosis to ADD, people find benefit from cannabis in its many, many forms and means of delivery. Whether smoked, vaped, dropped as oil on the tongue, and in many new and different adaptations of itself, the benefits by far exceed the risks – all but one, that is. Which brings us to point number three.

The only risk left to assess regarding cannabis legalization is in how the current

Is the adult populace sending too many mixed messages to young people in Jackson? political climate will change when the legalization movement succeeds. That’s what Gov. Matt Mead’s task force is really doing. They are weighing how much MONEY Wyoming will lose by alienating Big Pharma backers.

Most of the task force is made up of people who are vested in keeping asset forfeiture laws a sure thing in their secondary budgets and they aren’t willing to give up a thing, even if it’s the best thing for Wyoming people. Well, we are the people, with the power to change things. The power to vote them out if they don’t agree with what we, the people of Wyoming bring. Why is this lette titled “Potholes”? Because the only thing the task force can use to block us is a few bumps in the road on our way to collecting 50,000 signatures. Then it’s a smooth ride. Their roadblocks on the legal and factual side are about to be blown down.

Legalization is reducing dangerous drug use everywhere it has been implemented.

Why not here too? I see no more roadblocks here, only potholes.

Please support the Peggy A. Kelley Wyoming Cannabis Act of 2016. I like Wyoming NORML’s motto: Turning a red state green in 2016. (I’m humming a few bars of Willie here.)

–Mariah Kaze Jackson, WY

Mixed Messages Hurt Teens

In The Planet’s feature “Identity Crisis”

by Andrew Munz (Nov. 4, 2015), he recounts his teen experiences of consuming alcohol: “more often than not in a safe environment.”

This seems to indicate as long as you are in the right place, alcohol is safe (no mention of alcohol poisoning or the impulsivity of intoxicated teens, the resulting problems such as sexual assault or the fact that addiction is often formed in teen years).

I do agree with Mr. Munz that demonizing teens is inappropriate. By nature, they are

going to test boundaries occasionally and that’s OK, it’s our job (as adults) to give them safe structures to learn and grow in. While teens will experiment with alcohol, they do not need enabling messages from adults that it is OK or “safe” to do so, because it’s not.

I have worked in substance abuse treatment with adults and teens here in Teton County and two of the most troubling aspects of addiction are: it starts young and is so difficult to overcome. While most drinkers drink in a relatively safe way, many do not and ignoring this fact is a disservice to our community despite the “legacy” of partying that teens apparently are trying to measure up to. Eighty-eight percent of arrests in Teton County are alcohol related – the adults are struggling with alcohol, no wonder it’s a challenge for our youth.

As Lieutenant Cole Nethercott accurately stated in the article it’s the “mixed messages” from adults in this community that significantly impact the attitudes of our teens.

Appropriate messages, boundaries and enforcement help keep teens from making serious mistakes. Teens do not necessarily like this, but I support Mayor Flitner’s position of “keeping kids safe and alive” because preventing a tragedy is always the best option, even if the side effect is boredom.

Mr. Munz quoted the 2014 Wyoming Prevention Needs Assessment, but he did not quote the binge drinking statistics for teens in Teton County, which are among the highest in the state. There are myriad reasons for this and the enabling behaviors (providing alcohol), role modeling and messages from adults are among the most concerning.

The real “Identity Crisis” is in our adults.

So we can choose to support the safe development of our youth or continue with messages and role modeling that influences young people in unhelpful ways.

–Matt Stech, MS, LPC Jackson, WY

GUEST OPINION Crosstown Traffic Transit is the ticket to tackling seasonal vehicular madness.

JOSH MYERS/PLANET FILE PHOTO

BY CRAIG BENJAMIN

W

While many folks opt to use mass transit in the winter, Jackson’s summer season is becoming synonymous with vexatious traffic. But as the author of this column often likes to point out, it doesn’t have to be this way. reach transit on foot and bike. Low-cost and high return investments like sidewalks, bike parking, and a bike share program.

In addition, we should recognize that we don’t simply have a traffic problem; we have a housing and land use problem. Since too many hard working families can’t afford to live here, they are forced to commute long distances over the pass and down the canyon, clogging our roads. We should focus transit investments on making it feasible for more people to commute by bus from Alpine, Star Valley, Victor, and Driggs. We should also invest in our recently adopted Housing Action Plan to help ensure at least two thirds of people who work here can live here.

Finally, we must engage Grand Teton National Park in developing transit solutions, as the park is one of our community’s primary traffic generators in the summer. The park should take a harder look at transit in the Environmental Impact Statement for the Moose-Wilson Corridor, because our community’s success on Hwy 390 demonstrates that transit can help with our congestion challenges. This is why the Alliance is partnering with the Teton Village Association to convene a discussion with the park and other key stakeholders about how we can work together to address our congestion challenges.

This won’t be easy, nor will it happen overnight, but if we get serious about dealing with our traffic congestion by providing people with transportation choices through investments in transit, bicycling, and walking, we can provide most people with the freedom to safely and conveniently get where they need to go. PJH Craig Benjamin is the executive director of the Jackson Hole Conservation Alliance.

Email comments to editor@planetjh.com.

For all MEETING AGENDAS AND MINUTES WEEKLY CALENDAR JOB OPENINGS SOLICITATIONS FOR BIDS PUBLIC NOTICES AND OTHER VALUABLE INFORMATION

Visit our website

TetonWyo.org The public meeting agendas and minutes for the Board of County Commissioners and Planning Commission can also be found in the Public Notices section of the JH News and Guide.

NOVEMBER 11, 2015 | 5

it’s just a normal Tuesday in the summer in Jackson Hole.

Here’s the thing – we know how to address seasonal traffic congestion, because we’ve done it before.

More than two decades ago, a new master plan at Teton Village raised concerns about increasing traffic on Hwy 390 during the winter. Our community had to make a choice: invest in making it more convenient to take transit to the Village than it is to drive, or widen Hwy 390. Fortunately, we made the right call and now taking transit to the Village in the winter is easy and convenient, while Hwy 390 has remained a 2-lane road.

Now, summer seasonal traffic congestion is degrading our quality of life, the experience of visitors, and the efficiency of our business operations, while threatening the safety of people and wildlife on our roads. It doesn’t have to be this way.

Jackson Hole stands at a crossroads. We can do nothing and let seasonal congestion continue to degrade our quality of life. We could also take a 1950s approach and widen the highways that divide our community; although that would be the traffic equivalent of buying bigger pants to deal with a weight problem. This won’t address our congestion challenges, would put additional stress on wildlife, and does not align with our community’s values.

Or, we can get serious about investing in transit because it’s our ticket to tackling seasonal congestion. Fortunately, our recently adopted Integrated Transportation Plan (ITP) provides a blueprint for how we can make transit an easy and convenient way for most of us to get where we need to go.

Now, we need to find a dedicated and consistent funding source for the transit infrastructure and operations detailed in the ITP. In addition, we should fund investments that make it safe and convenient for people to

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

e all felt it this summer, and it didn’t feel good. Seasonal traffic congestion that was worse than ever. On one particular Wednesday, it felt utterly terrible.

On Wednesday, August 5, I spent an incredible day hiking up Breccia Peak with my brother and an old friend enjoying stunning views, sunshine, and the obligatory Wyoming hail storm (which the dog did not enjoy). After an awe-inspiring stop at Dornan’s, where we got to witness the power of a summer thunderstorm electrocuting the Tetons, we tried to head south into town. As we descended the hill next to the Fish Hatchery all we could see was a line of stopped cars snaking all the way into town.

Having an option, we pulled a u-turn and jogged over to Spring Gulch Rd. We were home in no time. My parents and my daughter Piper weren’t so lucky.

That same day my parents left the Aspens around 4:30 p.m. with my six-year-old daughter Piper, heading into town to meet us at our place for dinner. When I called them to let them know we might be late because of our unplanned detour they explained they were stuck in traffic on Hwy 390 and not moving. They had tried a similar move to what I pulled when they recognized the highway was blocked and attempted to take the Moose-Wilson road, but the park had just closed it for dust abatement application. So now they were stuck near the Village with no options. Nixle told me there was an accident blocking Hwy 390 near the Aspens so I told them their best (and only real) option was to stay calm and wait for it to clear.

This accident was one in a series that week which completely jammed up our valley – I’d bet you too found yourself in one of these messes. After two hours the accident cleared and they began creeping south. My Mom called and explained, “The good news is we’re moving. The bad news is Piper isn’t feeling well and just threw up in the car. We’ll get her home, only three hours late.”

While these accidents made things worse, the “new normal” traffic situation this summer was miserable from the start. This summer seasonal congestion caused daily backups from town past the Fish Hatchery to the north, over Teton Pass in the west, and to Hoback in the south. Traffic you would sit in, trying to stay calm, checking your phone to see if you had a Nixle alert explaining the cause of the congestion, and then realizing

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

6 | NOVEMBER 11, 2015

KELLY HALPIN

THE BUZZ

Well-Read, WellFed In an increasingly digital world, the battle to reignite a love for books holds major weight.

BY JAKE NICHOLS

W

e don’t read. Statistically, a third of those who begin this article won’t make it halfway through. More than half won’t ever make it to the nut graph. Far less than that know what a nut graph is. Reading this online?

It gets worse. Scrolling takes such monumental “effort” that one out every 10 readers won’t bother getting past the first couple of paragraphs that appear on page load. If you make it to the end, congratulate yourself, you’re among the 38 percent that read a news article start-to-finish, according to data compiled by the traffic analysis firm Chartbeat.

“Reading is a difficult skill to master,” Dr. Susan Wise Bauer admitted early in her 90-minute presentation at the Jackson Hole Classical Academy last Thursday. The nationally renowned author/historian has been sharing her passion for reading, and how classical schools and homeschooling parents can foster the same in their students and children.

The 47-year-old has been helping the private school develop a reading list, curriculum and teaching methods that will inspire kids to want to read.

Reading for pleasure is practically a lost art. Blame online “bouncing,” where a tweet or email or popup can disrupt any semblance of concentration. At the coffee shop or in the bathroom, print reading sessions are equally brief – interrupted by the demands of an on-the-go society. Game rooms and theatres have replaced home studies. Libraries across the country are tossing shelves of books to make room for computer terminals and Xbox stations. How often do millennials read materials that do not include hashtags?

Nerds are the new bookworms Neither Internet nor television killed reading; it’s been on the decline for centuries, says Wise Bauer. Remember Reading is FUNdamental? The leading literacy nonprofit launched in 1966, offering access to books for millions of underprivileged children. Is their work even relevant

Small illuminated screens are more readily accessible than books these days. anymore?

A 2004 National Endowment for the Arts study called Reading At Risk: A Survey of Literary Reading in America, discovered an alarming decline in literature reading in the American population. Data collected over a 20-year span showed that only 47 percent of Americans read works of literature. That’s down from 54 percent in 1992 and 57 percent in 1982. The numbers are dismal across all ethnic, economic, and age groups. Another survey by Harris Interactive found the bedtime story is a thing of the past. Only a third of parents read to their kids regularly.

Are we becoming a nation of dummies?

“I’m surprised at the popularity of a book series marketed with the selling point being ‘for dummies,’” Wise Bauer said, referring to the popular reference book series, “For Dummies,” during her talk. “Are that many people identifying with that? Do they read the title – for Dummies – and think, ‘Yep, that’s for me.’”

Wise Bauer says most adults feel undereducated and inadequate. Part of the problem has been a dogged persistence in traditional passive classroom learning that failed to challenge or inspire young readers. “The classical model changes that,” Wise Bauer said. “It incorporates more reading instead of classroom learning.”

Wise Bauer reminisced about a bygone era when many men and women educated themselves through reading.

Abraham Lincoln was an avid reader who advocated the power of wisdom gained through the written word. “The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who’ll get me a book I ain’t read,” he is quoted saying. Wise Bauer also mentioned women of the 18th and 19th centuries, who were not usually afforded the opportunity to go to college, often bettered themselves through reading books like “The Improvement of the Mind” (Isaac Watts, 1810).

Reading is fundamental “There are two types of reading,” Wise Bauer said, “a 10th grade reading level, where you are able to handle things like Stephen King and People Magazine; and then a higher level where you take on works like The Odyssey and Plato. These are tougher books to grasp but that’s normal.”

Wise Bauer pointed out three stages of understanding every reader should be working through. At the beginning, Level 1 reading skills are purely grammatical. “Just get through the book,” she said. “Understanding a third of a finished book is better than putting one down.”

Later, as skills improve, readers should be tasting and

swallowing works. “If it’s fiction, ask yourself, ‘was I persuaded?’ If it’s a history book, were you transported?” Wise Bauer said of the Level 2 Logic Stage. Finally, a master reader should enter Level 3, or the Rhetoric stage of reading where, with the help of a book club or others, readers should be digesting materials and asking deeper questions. “What does the writer want me to do, to believe, or to experience?” she said.

“Do I agree with the author? This is commonly referred to as Socratic dialogue.”

Experts point out the importance of creating a passion for reading early in childhood. Reading improves concentration while developing imagination and empathy. “It exercises the brain, which, like any organ, needs a workout to get stronger,” Wise Bauer said. Studies show avid readers improve their test scores. Not just in English, but in math and sciences as well.

Literacy rates are on the decline. Sixty-six percent of American fourth grade students scored “below proficient” on the 2013 National Assessment of Education Progress (NAEP) reading test; 36 percent of eighth graders were below proficient, with 22 percent falling below a “basic” level.

Public schools in Wyoming have performed much better, however. NEAP data for 2015 has state students scoring 228 compared to a 221 nationwide average for fourth graders.

Eighth grade students in Wyoming came in at a NAEP score of 269 for reading, compared to the U.S. average of 264.

Teton County School District No. 1 boasted lofty results as well. According to Tracy Poduska, the district’s director of teaching and learning, the PAWS March 2015 test results were encouraging. Sixty-six percent of fourth grade students landed at proficient or advanced (compared to the state average of 60 percent), while 59 percent of eighth graders were found reading at a proficient or advanced level (compared to the state average of 52 percent).

At the high school level, Jackson Hole High School seniors scored 23 in Reading on the 2014 ACT as compared to the national benchmark of 22. Math and science scores in Wyoming continue to languish, however, at all grade levels.

It’s never too late to pick up a book that can feed and awaken the mind, something to be considered across the age spectrum. Wise Bauer said adults should make dedicated space for self-education. “You need to create chasms of time to read. And guard your reading time,” she said. “Morning usually is better than night. Don’t open emails first. Create a place of no distractions. Start with just 20 minutes a day. And don’t worry about speed. In today’s world, we view slow as bad and fast as good. Reading should be a time for your mind and body to calm down.” PJH

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NEWS

the latest happenings in jackson hole

By CHUCK SHEPHERD

OF THE

Annals of Justice

pjhcalendar.com

WEIRD

A 2015 decision of the Georgia Supreme Court has created a puzzle for drunk driver enforcement. In Georgia (and other states), blood alcohol tests are “voluntary” (to bypass the issue of whether drivers can be forced, or even pressured, to endure a test that ultimately helps to convict them), but the Georgia court has ruled, against custom, that a “consenting” driver might be “too” drunk to appreciate the consent—in which case, the test results would be inadmissible in court. Equally awkwardly, prosecutors would be forced to argue that the drunk driver—too drunk to handle a motor vehicle—was still sober enough to give knowledgeable consent. Atlanta’s WSB-TV reported in October that judges statewide are grappling with the issue.

Recurring Themes (Recent Instances of Familiar Weird Behaviors) Funerals and burials, in the United States and elsewhere, are no longer always so staid. Most famously, one man was, per his instructions, lowered to the ground inside his beloved Cadillac; dressing corpses in fanciful outfits (such as the Green Lantern) is not unheard of. In October, after Mr. Jomar Aguayo Collazo, 23, was killed in a shootout in San Juan, Puerto Rico, the family outfitted his body in his favorite blue tracksuit and propped him up at a table in his mother’s tavern (“playing” dominoes and holding a drink and a condom)—as friends and relatives passed by to pay their respects. n The list of all-time extreme body modifiers would start with the late Dennis “Stalking Cat” Avner (who incrementally cut, chipped, tattooed, pierced and implanted his body to make himself a human feline) and the similarly obsessive Erik “Lizardman” Sprague, who at one time toured with the Jim Rose Circus. Newer to the scene is Britain’s Ted Richards, 57, working to become a human parrot. With 110 colorful tattoos, 50 piercings and a split tongue, he currently seeks a surgeon to turn his nose into a beak. Even without the beak, though, Richard says becoming parrotlike “is the best thing that has happened to me.” (London’s Daily Telegraph, publishing astonishing photos of Richards, asked, rhetorically, whether we’ve reached “peak plastic surgery.”) n In October, a 20-year-old man in Macomb Township, Michigan, became the most recent alleged drunk driver to reveal himself in the most awkward of ways: by accidentally swerving into the midst of a sheriff’s deputies’ roadside stop—of another alleged drunk driver. (Coincidentally, both arrestees are 20 and registered matching 0.17 blood-alcohol readings.) n College “Inclusiveness” to the Next Level: “Service” animals (mostly guide dogs) are ones that have been specially trained to provide help for people with disabilities, but untrained “comfort” animals are also privileged for those diagnosed

with panic attacks or depression. In an October report on college students hoping to keep their pets in no-animal dorms, The New York Times noted that school officials have entertained student requests for the “comfort” of (besides dogs and cats) lizards, potbellied pigs, tarantulas, ferrets, guinea pigs and “sugar gliders” (nocturnal, flying, six-ounce Australian marsupials). Informal Justice Department guidelines rule out only animals that are aggressive or destructive or that trigger other students’ allergies. n Raised Right—or Snitch-in-Training? In September, Audrey McColm, 25, traffic-stopped in Randolph County, Indiana, for driving “erratic(ally),” became the latest parent ratted out by her child.

When Mom denied having been drinking, her daughter, 7, blurted out, “Yes, you have, Mom.” McColm registered 0.237, had nearly hit another officer’s car head-on, and was so hammered that she “urged” a different officer to “shoot her in the head.” n A chapter of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals undertook one of its favorite consciousness-raising tactics in August, demanding that Pennsylvania officials erect a roadside grave marker near Lancaster at the spot where a tractor-trailer hauling 80 pigs overturned, killing several of them. The “terrified animals” that suffered traumatic deaths should be memorialized by the community, PETA said. The pigs, of course, would have eventually found their way to a slaughterhouse, and it is possible that the ones euthanized as a result of the accident passed more peacefully than the “survivors.” n In October, The Washington Post and the New York Post separately reported recent episodes of government agencies keeping high-earning employees on the payroll for more than a year, with no job assignment, because the agencies were unable to adjudicate their misconduct cases.

Almost 100 shelved Homeland Security employees turned up in a Washington Post Freedom of Information Act request, and one information technology analyst warehoused by the New York City employee pension fund said she had earned $1.3 million over 10 years doing absolutely no work for the city. “I watched movies,” said Niki Murphy. “I crocheted—right in front of (supervisors).” n Drivers who blindly follow their vehicle’s satellite navigation with disastrous results are almost No Longer Weird, but a truck driver’s mishap in Ashton, England, in October still seemed worthy of reporting—in that he was working for a company called Dachser Intelligent Logistics when his tractor-trailer got stuck in a narrow alley (directed there by the sat-nav, in violation of all common sense). (Bonus: It was not the first time sat-nav had misdirected a vehicle into the same alley; the town had even placed a formal traffic sign at the approach to the alley: “Do Not Follow Sat Nav Next Left.”)

Updates n In October, the federal government finally unloaded the two New Hampshire properties it seized in 2007 from dentist Elaine Brown and her husband (after a nine-month standoff following their vow to die rather than pay their back taxes to the IRS). Their 100-acre “compound” became a magnet at the time for an array of “sovereigns” and tax-resisters, who were rumored to have booby-trapped the property to ward off law enforcement—and the 2015 auction only partially guaranteed that the property was free of hidden explosives. (News of the Weird’s 2007 story included Dr. Brown as one of three U.S. dentists who, independent of each other, had become obsessed about federal taxes. The Browns are serving 30-year prison terms.) n High school principal George Kenney believes he has a gift to aid students’ concentration abilities—hypnotism—and practiced it extensively at North Port High in Sarasota, Florida, until 2011, when three of his students died in separate incidents (two by suicide). While Kenney enjoys retirement in North Carolina, the Sarasota school board did not close the chapter until October 2015 when it granted $200,000 settlements to the families of the three students. The lawsuits complained of Kenney’s unlicensed “medical procedure,” which altered the “underdeveloped” teenage brain—but Kenney had also pointed to improvements in studying by other students. n White supremacist Craig Cobb has not given up. News of the Weird noted in 2013 that he was attempting to buy property in Leith, North Dakota (pop. 16), to turn the town into a deluxe Caucasian enclave, but there was local resistance—and Cobb was revealed by a TV program’s DNA test to himself be 14 percent “sub-Saharan African.” Cobb has not yet disproved the result, but has moved his target to (according to recent reports) either Red Cloud, Nebraska (pop. 978), or Antler, North Dakota (pop.

28) (which is seeking crowdsourced funding online to preventively buy the vacant property Cobb has his eyes on).

A News of the Weird Classic (March 2010) It’s a simple recipe, said New York City A-list chef Daniel Angerer: a cheese derived from the breast milk of his wife, who (in March 2010) was nursing the couple’s 3-month-old daughter. As a chef, he said, “you look out for something new and what you can do with it,” and what Angerer could do is make about two quarts of “flavor(ful)” cheese out of two gallons of mother’s milk. “(T)astes just like really sweet cow’s milk.” He posted the recipe, “My Spouse’s Mommy Milk Cheese,” but reminded experimenters to “consider cheese aging time.”

Thanks This Week to Charles Zipperlen and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

THEM ON US

By JAKE NICHOLS

UnREal appeal More real estate propaganda to exacerbate our housing crunch appeared recently in Financial Times. Median home prices in Jackson Hole reached $823,500 in the third quarter of 2015, a rise of 15 percent from the same period last year. Not a single home was listed for less than $500,000. Sales at the upper end of the market (is there any other end in JH?) were especially robust.

“There’s no tax on the sale of real estate and no tax on out-of-state retirement income and inheritance or estate tax,” Julie Faupel told FT. She’s a co-owner of Jackson Hole Real Estate Associates, an affiliate of Christie’s International. “For people who want to accumulate property and protect their wealth in the area, Jackson is very attractive.”

No news like snow news Shake it off, Taylor Swift, the Jackson Hole weather report just bumped your news. After early season storms dumped a couple of feet of snow at Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, our ski resort community topped the list of trending items on Facebook, bouncing the other hot topic – a $42 million lawsuit brought by Acura/Jeep Wrangler against the pop singer.

Thanks to Instagram pics featuring the dump-o-rama posted by the Chamber of Commerce, along with Facebook shares, Jackson Hole is all that the cyber world was talking about last week.

Wyoming Business Report reported the news.

Pool party Our boys didn’t get it done on the gridiron but the girls had a pool party in Gillette. The Jackson Hole High School girls swim team posted 337 points to run away from the competition on their way to another 3A state title. Worland was the nearest competitor, some 143 points behind Jackson.

The Lady Broncs failed to win only twice in their 11-meet season under the direction of coach Jim Jenkins. SwimSwam, a national publication on swimming and diving news, posted the story.

Saratoga scientist The Saratoga Sun got behind one of their own, ninth grader Leila Randall, who was accepted to Teton Science School’s Young Women and Science program that took place the first week of November.

Randall told her hometown paper she is really excited about astronomy and oceanography. “[T]hose are the ones that if we studied them a lot more we could end up learning really cool things,” she said.

The weeklong program focuses on engaging girls’ interest in science to inspire leadership in future women scientists. It was hosted at TSS Kelly Campus in GTNP, where the classroom was outdoors.

Barely getting by

Ice cowboys

Looking for flexible hours, the freedom to work independently and the opportunity to be an important voice in the community?

Now is your chance to join the small, energized team that comprises The Planet – Jackson Hole’s alternative voice and Wyoming’s only alt weekly.

Email a cover letter, resume and writing samples to editor@planetjh.com

NOVEMBER 11, 2015 | 9

Ellen Miller-Goins of the Sangre de Cristo Chronicle in Frisco, Colo., whipped her community into a frenzy over their inaugural hosting of the Skijoring series that includes a North American Championship in Jackson Hole from Feb. 6-7, 2016 as part of the annual Winterfest celebration.

The equestrian-ski sport involves a skier towed by horse through a course of gates, jumps and rings. Ice Cowboys, a CrowdFunded video short will accompany the event. PJH

Have a knack for storytelling and the smarts to dissect and distill the valley’s issues du jour, from breaking news to thoughtful arts coverage?

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

The Bloomberg Billionaires Index has some bad news for Christy Walton. Actually, it’s nothing she doesn’t know already but now the world knows the widow of John T. Walton, the Wal-Mart heir who died in a plane crash in Jackson Hole 10 years ago, is much poorer than previously reported.

It was widely assumed Christy Walton received the bulk of her late husband’s vast estate. “Turns out that was very wrong,” Bloomberg’s David De Jong wrote.

The new filings, recently unsealed by a Wyoming court at the request of Bloomberg News, mean that Christy’s estimated $32 billion fortune as previously calculated is closer to $5 billion in reality.

“She’s unlikely to ever again reach her former designation as America’s richest woman, which she held until last month,” Bloomberg reported.

Reporter Wanted

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

10 | NOVEMBER 11, 2015

I

t’s 4 p.m. in La Grave, France, and four skiers are picking their way above a 600 hundred-foot rock band as they exit the Couloir de Polichinelle. The first to descend the chute is Chad Vanderham, a ski guide from Colorado.

Vanderham skis confidently toward the high consequence traverse and disappears around the corner. Jackson ski and mountaineer legend Doug Coombs watches from above and follows his friend toward the exit. Cresting the corner, Coombs scans the horizon but sees no sign of Vanderham.

Fearing the worst, he calls out for a rope and inches towards the edge of the cliff. In a matter of seconds, Coombs loses his edge and tumbles over the cliff to his death. The only sound that follows is enduring silence. Almost a decade later, the global mountain community continues to mourn the loss of Coombs.

Adventure sports figures have become the superheroes of today’s world, but sometimes their secret human identity reveals itself. For years, Coombs survived in the alpine world with what appeared to be superhuman qualities, but one misstep ended everything. Adventure athletes inspire us with their incredible feats, but they are not unlike you and me. It sometimes takes the death of super athletes like Coombs, Dean Potter and Eric Roner for the public to be reminded of

their human fragility. Although they can fly at high speeds, scale cliff faces with heightened senses, and complete mind boggling aerobatic feats, they are still bound by the laws of physics. When these athletes die, we struggle to uncover a lesson from their departure. But sometimes, becoming acquainted with the mortal underneath the cape is the most valuable lesson of all.

Secret identities

Coombs wasn’t always dropping into Corbet’s Couloir or side-slipping a waterfall of ice, often times he could be found at Nick Wilson’s noshing chicken tenders and fries. Coombs’ wife, Emily, says “there were two Dougs: one in the media that went above and beyond and the other Doug that was completely disorganized with mustard in his beard.” Coombs, and adventure athletes like him, become a symbol for our own hopes and dreams. So in order to preserve the fantasy of perfection, we turn a blind eye to their shortcomings.

It’s easy then to forget that the images of Coombs carving turns on an Alaska spine were tailored for public consumption, carefully selected to show a lone warrior overcoming great odds to conquer a formidable foe. One picture doesn’t always tell the whole truth, however, as Coombs had fears

that were hidden behind the scenes. Emily says Coombs pushed it to the limits in part to face his fear of breaking his neck, a vulnerable body part after Coombs crashed during a high school ski race. So he strived for greatness, not because he didn’t have fear, but because he wouldn’t allow his own fears to control him. The media instead portrayed Coombs as a fearless archetype of invincibility and the public misinterpreted this facade of immortality. Coombs’ true message, Emily explained, was “if I can do it, you can do it.”

This mentality inspired Emily to honor Coombs’ life by giving folks struggling to climb the socio-economic ladder the opportunity to realize their physical potential. In 2012, Emily founded the Doug Coombs Foundation “after noticing that low-income families were almost entirely absent from outdoor activities that define Jackson Hole.” This past winter the nonprofit helped 160 kids get onto the ski hill that may never have been given the chance otherwise. It truly takes a village to raise an adventure athlete, and the foundation is helping to create the next generation of superheroes. Coombs may have appeared at the peak of his career as an independent entity, but what the true story indicates is that he had an incredible amount of help along the way.

Coombs wasn’t born with an ice axe in his hand, he grew

Local mountaineer and architect of SHIFT Festival, Christian Beckwith reminds us that “if you want to keep your hero as a hero then never meet them.” Taking these athletes out of their fantasy roles, however, may be to our advantage.

Seeing adventure athletes as equals, will hopefully allow us to question our own capabilities. Beckwith, former editor of the prestigious Alpinist Magazine, has encountered many

good enough to achieve greatness. However, true accomplishment isn’t marked by a summit tally, but by a willingness to try. Stephen Koch, local snowboard mountaineer, faced his own inner turmoil on Mt. Everest in his quest to snowboard the highest seven summits on each continent. Within sight of his goal, a massive avalanche narrowly missed his team. Koch retreated, admitting that, “for a long time after I felt like a failure, I felt like I was not enough.” Koch later realized, however, that “turning around on Everest was actually a defining moment of success in my life. I now understand a way of being that is not driven by ego, but driven by heart.”

Adventure athletes are always applauded when they reach the summit, but the true test of a judicious mountaineer is knowing when to turn around. Koch says that he learned after watching many friends die in the mountains: “If I kept going bigger and steeper, I was going to be next.”

Superhero ethos

The adventure heroes of today’s world speak to us through their actions instead of their words. They teach us the values of perseverance, loyalty, and humility in the mountain sphere, so we can learn from them on the valley floor.

These superheroes allow us to watch the action from afar

NOVEMBER 11, 2015 | 11

Spiderman wasn’t perfect

heroes of the mountains. Several of his experiences, he says, have illustrated time and time again that even athletes at the top of their game make mistakes. Beckwith defines adventure athletes as “those willing to go into the unknown” and keep coming back even when the “outcome is uncertain.”

Dean Potter was one of those athletes that needed perfection in order to survive. In true Spiderman fashion, Potter could free-solo without ropes up shear cliff faces, then jump with a parachute from the summit to the valley floor. Beckwith says people become fascinated with adventure athletes like Potter because, “they are reaching for the apex of human potential and have such a small space between them and their demise. ” The illusion of perfection, Beckwith said, is needed for some of these athletes to push their limits, particularly when a supreme belief in one’s own abilities is needed in order to commit to an action that could kill them. After decades of superhuman feats, however, imperfection finally caught up with Potter. He died this past spring in a wing-suit accident.

Superheroes appeal to the masses not because they beat the bad guy or summit the highest peak, but because they battle against their own demons. Many of us take the path of least resistance and convince ourselves that we’re not

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

up skiing on a hill with a vertical rise of 700 feet in Massachusetts. When Emily met him years later living in Montana “he was a disaster” and couldn’t get to the ski hill without forgetting something. Emily said they needed each other to balance themselves out and when they moved to Jackson Hole they did everything together. Emily explained that Coombs then started skiing for sponsors simply ”because he didn’t have any money and wanted to ski and play without working too hard.” From afar, we see images of Coombs the superhero skiing amazing lines, but when we look closer we can see a guy that many folks can relate to. Perhaps people are drawn to superheroes, like Doug, because they break down perceptual barriers, convincing others of humans’ extraordinary potential.

It is perhaps a useful reminder that professional athletes are tasked with promoting their “brand” – purposeful entertainment, not just a theatrical show for enjoyment. So often we look at the Photoshopped lives of adventure athletes and

Rob Kingwill coaches Native American kids snowboarding during the Intertribal Winter Sports Summit last winter. The pro-snowboarder is involved in myriad youth outreach efforts.

trend in extreme sports with increasingly blurry boundaries between what is possible and what may likely result in death.

“Snowboarding competitions are getting so high impact, that sometimes as a coach, I’m getting scared to encourage my students,” Kingwill admitted. Indeed, across all ends of the adventure sport spectrum there seems to be tremendous pressure to perform beyond the capabilities of what is humanly possible. In some ways the press and social media has turned extreme sports into theater, where the athletes become characters we cheer on from the sidelines, while they risk their lives to make the viewing public entertained.

However, Kingwill stands out as an athlete that embraces reality, instead of trying to escape it. When Kingwill considers a risk his mind rolls over the question, “Is it worth it?” and very often he says his answer is, “Lets skip this today so tomorrow we can do that.” The long list of Kingwill’s accomplishments illustrates a tendency to select balance over bravado.

Julie Zell, local snowboarding pioneer, witnessed the “leaps of mental and physical evolution” that have occurred in adventure sports since she started snowboarding in 1989.

EMILY COOMBS

Living for longevity

wish we could be them, believing that everyday for them must be bluebird powder. Rob Kingwill has been a professional snowboarder for the last 20 years says.

“It’s not as glorious as it appears to be,” he said.

For instance, Kingwill recalls waiting for eight days in various airports just to film a five-minute snowboarding segment for a Warren Miller film in Nepal. Kingwill explains that it hasn’t always been easy making a career of snowboarding and “nothing lasts forever, so you must create your own future.” Kingwill did just that by starting his own winter accessory and clothing line in 2007 called Avalon7. He says it keeps his vision of mountain life afloat. You can also find him coaching snowboarding at Camp of Champions in Whistler, BC, in the summertime, and deeply immersed in youth outreach efforts throughout the valley the remainder of the year.

Adapting is Kingwill’s specialty.

“Life in the mountains is a progression and you must be ready to constantly reinvent yourself,” he said.

Kingwill happily admits that he is not extreme 24 hours a day. “There is a limit to the amount of adrenaline you can put into your system,” he said, adding that he sees a disturbing

ROB KINGWILL

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

12 | NOVEMBER 11, 2015

without being engulfed in it, so we can learn before taking the risk ourselves. When Jimmy Chin and his climbing partners approached the Shark’s Fin on Meru, they passed Hindu pilgrims who asked them, “tell us what you see.” In their eyes, the climbing expedition was approaching their religion’s inner sanctuary, the true “center of the universe.”

Adventure athletes, in some ways, have become the sages of today’s world and provide “answers” to life’s existential problems. Beckwith believes that adventure athletes teach us about the “fragility of life” and that “personal evolution isn’t possible without risk.” Koch adds, “the mountains teach us how to deal with our own mind in everyday life and even though we are all vulnerable, adventure helps us learn how to control the fear.”

Doug Coombs with his son, David, in 2004 outside of the Coombs’ home in La Grave, France. Coombs’ wife, Emily, says Coombs was an adoring father who was enamored with his little boy.

Zell says that athletes today seem to be emulating fantasy “video game movements and applying them to the real world.” Zell, who won Alaska’s Queen of the Hill competition for three consecutive years, is no stranger to risk, but says that today’s athletes are “not trapped in the same rules of mind and body that I was.” With the advancement of adventure sports, however, comes higher risk and Zell hopes that the current generation doesn’t fall prey to the same hazards that she faced, hazards that perhaps come with the territory of certain sports no matter the time period. When competing in big mountain competitions, Zell laments that “nobody talked about being scared, but I was terrified in Alaska.” Zell recalls thinking, “What am I doing here, I didn’t start snowboarding to die.” Looking back on her career, which she says “she was lucky to survive,” Zell hopes that todays heroes of the mountains learn to “perform for themselves and not for the cameras.” Zell says she never

considered herself to be an extreme athlete and explains that she was able to push her limits only after a gentle “progression of my ability levels.”

Sometimes what shapes an athlete’s superhero-human trajectory are the battles they face when they’re young. Years later, even when it feels like the battle has been won, those old feelings never completely disappear.

Instead, they become the catalyst for action and great ideas. Crystal Wright, twotime winner of the Freeride World ski tour, was told as a child, “you can’t do that because you’re a girl.” Growing up at the base of the Wind River Range with no electricity or television, however, Wright says she learned that she could do whatever the boys could do and sometimes even more.

“Women tend to second guess themselves a lot” she said.

“But believing in your abilities is necessary in order to try something that scares you a little bit.”

“What am I doing here?

I didn’t start snowboarding to die.”

STEPHEN KOCH

- Julie Zell

When she repeatedly wasn’t granted access to the “all boys clubs” that proliferates mountain culture, Wright founded the Jackson Hole Babe Force to help empower other women with alpine aspirations. The organization is currently offering two scholarships to two local women for Avalanche 1 instruction.

Wright says it’s imperative that we teach the “next generation of female skiers and riders to not make the same mistakes I did while getting into the backcountry.” Wright says while growing up she “was fearless, did what seemed cool, and followed what other people were doing.” Providing females with more instruction and social support through the JH Babe Force, Wright says she hopes to create an environment for females to gain a “proper education so they don’t have to depend on their husbands or guy friends to lead them around the backcountry.”

Athletes, like Wright, illustrate that to achieve beyond the ordinary a commonly held belief among adventure athletes must work its way into more people’s psyches: the extraordinary is possible. PJH

Snowboard mountaineer Stephen Koch is fostering a sense of exploration in his sons and in audiences who listen to his motivational talks.

NOVEMBER 11, 2015 | 13

CRYSTAL WRIGHT

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Pro-skier Crystal Wright is an architect of mountain enthusiasm, particularly with the group she spearheaded to offer support to female alpine enthusiasts, the Jackson Hole Babe Force.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

14 | NOVEMBER 11, 2015

CREATIVE PEAKS Motion Pictures Silver screen comes alive with beautiful body mechanics.

BY KELSEY DAYTON @Kelsey_Dayton

DUNCAN MCDOWALL

C

arrie Richer was amazed at her dad’s old metal-framed backpack. It was hard to think he used to carry that around in the mountains. That backpack became the inspiration for “Moving Upstream,” a film where a woman on a snowy trail wrestles the pack as she moves. It represents a literal and metaphorical struggle anyone can relate to, said Richer, a founder and director with Hole Dance Films.

The film is one of two Hole Dance Films that will screen Saturday along with jury-selected movies as part of the Sans Souci Festival of Dance Cinema.

It is the first year Jackson has hosted the festival.

The goal was to bring in a variety of films in the dance genre, Richer said. Some are beautiful and dramatic and others are whimsical and fun.

“It’s pretty eye-opening and nice to look at the genre,” Richer said. “There is a little bit for everybody.”

“Bookin’” documents an experiment combining ballet with Memphis Jookin, a hip-hop street style of dance.

In “Dance like Your Old Man,” dancers imitate and tell stories about how their dads move to music.

In “Painted,” you eventually realize the dancer in the warehouse transforms into a bird through movement.

The festival also includes a couple of documentaries, including one from Pilobolus, a dance company that has performed in Jackson. The film gives insight into the process of creating the unique dance the company is known for, Richer said.

While the films offer a chance for students and dance lovers to learn about other styles of dance and also the possibilities dance offers, the festival intends to reach a greater audience, Richer said.

The goal of hosting the festival is meant to expose people who might not normally watch dance to the art form. Some films offer insight into the process of dance, while others are meant to just entertain.

“A lot of the dance is so physically active and impressive and at an extreme level,”

Dorotea Saykaly in the short film ‘Painted,’ screening for the Sans Souci Festival of Dance Cinema Saturday at the Center for the Arts.

Richer said. “Anyone who lives in Jackson can appreciate it from an athletic point of view.”

Plus the longest film is only 10 minutes, she added.

Alongside the San Souci films, Hole Dance Films will premiere two new shorts, “Moving Upstream,” featuring Francesca Romo, a former dancer with Galim and now with Contemporary Dance Wyoming, struggling with the backpack, and “Housewarming,” a film shot in a home in East Jackson.

The film shows a couple moving into a new house, unpacking bubble wrap, moving items around, dressing up and setting up for a dinner party. Then it deviates and “totally goes crazy,” Richer said. “It’s just a funny film.”

The dancers are Dancers’ Workshop alum Luke Zender and Michaela Ellingson and the piece was choreographed in the home.

Richer says a friend’s house inspired the piece. It was an extraordinary and ornate space and a great place to explore dance. The piece showcases the house and the dancers take it over as their stage, moving over counters and using the crown molding.

“That dance couldn’t exist anywhere else other than that house,” Richer said.

Both films, shot by cinematographers Melinda Binks and Katy Bell, represent the style and type of movies Hole Dance Film

makes.

“We like to not take our films too seriously,” Richer said.

The films are often whimsical and fun and usually feature local dancers. It’s a way to show the quality of dancers found in Jackson, Richer said.

Richer and Kate Kosharek started Hole Dance Films eight years ago. The two dancers wanted to not just produce dance work on the stage, but share it with other audiences.

“When in Wyoming, a film lends itself to reaching out and making work available internationally without leaving Jackson Hole,” Richer said.

Their films have played in various festivals including the Sans Souci Festival of Dance Cinema and it’s traveled with the festival’s “best of the festival” tours.

The festival and screening of the two new Hole Dance Films is a great way to show the community what they’ve been working on and garner local support for dance, as well as show how much dance is out there around the world.

Sans Souci Festival of Dance Cinema and Hole Dance Films, 4:30 p.m. documentary screening, 7:30 p.m. shorts screening and Hole Dance Films reception, Saturday, Center for the Arts. $12 individual screening; $20 festival pass. PJH

THIS WEEK: November 11-17, 2015

WEDNESDAY NOV. 11

n Age Friendly Jackson Hole Meeting 5:30pm, Senior Center, Free, 307-733-7300 n Book Club “What is the What” by Dave Eggers 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Evening Yoga 6:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307739-9025 n Open Gym - Adult Basketball 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025 n The Cherry Orchard presented by Off Square Theatre Company 7:00pm, Center for the Arts, $20.00, 307-733-4900 n Salsa at Dancers’ Workshop 7:00pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Oneness Deeksha Meditation 7:30pm, Akasha Yoga, $5.00, 307-413-3965 n Vinyl Night 9:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307733-1500

THURSDAY NOV. 12

n Kettlebells 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307739-9025 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, Free, 307-733-6398 n Yoga 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307739-9025 n Intermediate/Advanced Ballet @ Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Crystal Sound Bowl Experience with Daniela Botur 12:00pm, Intencions, Free, 307-733-9290 n Open Gym - Adult Basketball 12:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025 n Public Skating 12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633 n bootybarre® at Dancers’ Workshop 1:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398

n All About Handbuilding 3:30pm, Center for the Arts, $125.00, 307-733-6379 n Printmaking Plus!

4:00pm, Center for the Arts, $70.00, 307-733-6379 n Yoga 4:15pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307739-9025 n Adobe InDesign 5:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $200.00, 307-733-7425 n Chamber Mixer with Togwotee Adventures 5:00pm, Togwotee Snowmobile Adventures, Free, 307-733-3316 n Jazzercise 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307739-9025 n Total Fitness 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307739-9025 n Teton Literacy Center proudly presents: A magical night at Moosewarts 5:30pm, Teton Literacy Center, Free, 307-733-9242 n Making the Most of College Visits 6:00pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Mix’d Media 6:00pm, National Museum of Wildlife Art, Free, 307-733-5771 n Knit Nite 6:00pm, Knit on Pearl, Free, 307-733-5648 n Basic Jewelry: Beading 6:00pm, Center for the Arts, $90.00, 307-733-6379 n Monotype 6:00pm, Center for the Arts, $50.00, 307-733-6379 n Silhouette Cutting 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Modern Dance Class at Dancers’ Workshop 6:15pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Open Gym - Adult Soccer 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-0925 n Nutrition for Optimal Sports Performance Essentials of Electrolytes 6:45pm, Teton Recreation Center, $12.00, 307-739-9025 n English for Businesses 7:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $100.00 n Sip & Paint 7:00pm, Roam, $30.00

NOVEMBER 11, 2015 | 15

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 17

Compiled by Caroline Zieleniewski

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n Ski Fitness with Whitney Wright 7:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $225.00, 307-733-6398 n Boot Camp 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307739-9025 n Fee Free Day in Grand Teton National Park 8:00am, Grand Teton National Park, Free n Pilates Mat Classes at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Gym 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n Yoga 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307739-9025 n Museum Closed 9:00am, National Museum of Wildlife Art, 307-733-5771 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Gym 10:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n Fables, Feathers, and Fur 10:30am, National Museum of Wildlife Art, Free, 307-733-5771 n Lap Sit 11:00am, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Public Skating 12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633 n Total Fitness 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307739-9025 n Semi-Private Painting + Drawing 4:00pm, Borshell Children’s Studio, $20.00 - $130.00, 307733-6379 n Game Night 4:30pm, Snake River Brewery, Free, 307-739-2337 n Leadership Jackson Hole Alumni Gathering 5:00pm, Figs in Hotel Jackson, Free, 307-733-3087 n Think WYO: Art & Activism 5:30pm, Pink Garter Theatre Lobby, Free, 307-699-2680

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

16 | NOVEMBER 11, 2015

MUSIC BOX Fiery Jams Bluegrass, country and rock come to Garter and Fireman’s Ball this weekend.

BY MATT HERRON

I

t’s rare to see a busy week of music in the off-season, but for those of us left in town we have two great shows to look forward to this weekend. Consider these concerts your opportunity to warm up and shake a leg before the snow piles up and the lifts start spinning.

Greensky Bluegrass is no stranger to the Jackson music scene with a handful of shows sprinkled throughout the years including some notable performances at Targhee Bluegrass.

This time around fans will be able to catch them at the Pink Garter Theatre on Friday night.

While Greensky has some great studio albums like 2014 release “If Sorrow Swims,” their following has grown through their high-energy live shows. Starting with a win at the 2006 Telluride Band Competition the band is still on the road 10 years later. Much like other bands in the jam-grass genre, improvisation is a staple of the experience and great song writing is the launching pad. Greensky is also not afraid to throw in a couple of covers to keep the listener on his or her own toes. If you’re a first-timer or a casual fan it can always be nice to hear something familiar like Bob Dylan’s “When I Paint My Masterpiece.”

At the end of the day, what separates a Greensky show from a rock show is the band’s instrumentation. So if you like your bluegrass loud, experimental, and tinged with thoughtful songwriting, the Pink Garter is be the place to be Friday night.

Greensky Bluegrass, doors at 7 p.m., show at 8 p.m., Friday, Pink Garter Theatre, $20 to 22, 21 and older.

Saturday night features the 75th annual Fireman’s Ball at the Heritage Arena. For a relatively young town like Jackson, it’s great to see such a longstanding tradition flourish and not lose its appeal. After all, every town needs firefighters and as they have said before, if you come to their party, they’ll come to your fire.

Greensky Bluegrass (left) heats up the Pink Garter Friday evening. Remember to pace yourself though, because the Fireman’s Ball, featuring Anders Osborn and more, happens the following night, Saturday, at the Heritage Arena.

Last year, the Marshall Tucker Band took the headline slot but this year the Firefighters Association outdoes itself with a triple bill of Chancey Williams and the Younger Brothers Band, The Sam Bush Band and the North Mississippi Osborne, or the North Mississippi Allstars featuring Anders Osborne. You could describe the lineup as being a bit disjointed but really the roster provides the most entertainment to the greatest amount of people. Country lovers will get their twangy fix with Chancey Williams, Sam Bush will keep the new-grass fans dancing, and the North Mississippi group will get the blues rockers banging. If you’re in town this weekend, it’s strongly recommended that you find yourself under the Heritage Arena on Saturday.

Wyoming native Chancey Williams and his band will kick things off with a well-polished country sound. The group has tight three part harmonies and all the energy you would expect for a band that is right at home on the main stage at Cheyenne’s raucous Frontier Days. In fact, Williams is the only other performer besides the legendary Chris Ledoux to have ridden in the rodeo and performed on the main stage.

There isn’t really much more that can be written about

Grammy-award winner Sam Bush. He has reached legendary status in the bluegrass, new-grass, and acoustic music scenes and at 64, he plays and writes as though he’s a budding musician. Bush has played with a Rolodex of legendary players, from Del McCoury to Alison Kraus to Edgar Meyer and back again. Bush’s mandolin and fiddle playing is as distinctive as it gets in the scene. Add to this a knack for writing hit songs and an exemplary band of musicians and you have a headlining act.

However, the headlining duties are left to North Mississippi Osborne. A collaboration between contemporary delta blues brothers Luther and Cody Dickinson from the North Mississippi Allstars and the soulful, guitar shredding Osborne. Their recent release, “NMO,” is a combination of slinky soul ballads that showcase tight harmonies and expert guitar work.

There will be silent and live auctions, a raffle, and plenty of food and alcohol for purchase, to hlep firefighters extinguish flames around the valley.

Fireman’s Ball, 6 p.m., Saturday, Teton County Fairgrounds’ Heritage Arena, $40, 21 and older. PJH

n The Met: Live in HD - Otello 7:00pm, Center for the Arts, $10.00 - $18.00, 307-733-4900 n The Cherry Orchard presented by Off Square Theatre Company 7:00pm, Center for the Arts, $20.00, 307-733-4900 n Mustache Militia 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n Karaoke 9:00pm, Virginian Saloon, Free, 307-739-9891 n Salsa Night 9:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307733-1500

FRIDAY NOV. 13

SATURDAY NOV. 14

SUNDAY NOV. 15

n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 9:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Worm Composting Workshop 9:00am, Teton Valley Community Recycling, $25.00, 208-354-2800 n Barre Fusion at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Forging Metal Bracelets 9:30am, Center for the Arts, $60.00, 307-733-3886 n Splash + Pour: Watercolor without Fear 9:30am, Center for the Arts, $150.00, 307-733-3886 n Adult Oil Painting 10:00am, The Local Galleria, $25.00 - $80.00, 208-270-0883 n The Cherry Orchard presented by Off Square Theatre Company 2:00pm, Center for the Arts, $20.00, 307-733-4900 n Experience Live Raptors 2:00pm, Teton Raptor Center, $10.00 - $12.00, 307-203-2551

n Season Pass Sale & Pick Up 9:00am, Grand Targhee Resort, 800-TARGHEE n Splash + Pour: Watercolor without Fear 9:30am, Center for the Arts, $150.00, 307-733-3886 n NFL Package 11:00am, The Virginian Saloon, Free, 307-739-9891 n Open Gym - Adult Volleyball 4:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025 n Stagecoach Band 6:00pm, Stagecoach, Free, 307-733-4407 n Taize 7:00pm, St. John’s Episcopal Church, Free, 307-733-2603

MONDAY NOV. 16

n Ski Fitness with Whitney Wright 7:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $225.00, 307-733-6398 n Boot Camp 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307739-9025

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NOVEMBER 11, 2015 | 17

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 18

n Dancers’ Workshop presents Sans Souci Festival of Dance Cinema 4:30pm, The Center Theater, $12.00 - $20.00, 307-733-4900 n Watershed Jackson 2015 Gala 5:00pm, Pink Garter Theatre, $125.00 n North Mississippi Allstars & Anders Osborne Present N.M.O at 75th Fireman’s Ball 6:00pm, Heritage Arena, $30.00 - $40.00 n Open Gym - Adult Soccer 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-0925 n The Cherry Orchard presented by Off Square Theatre Company 7:00pm, Center for the Arts, $20.00, 307-733-4900 n Live Music 7:00pm, The Virginian Saloon, Free, 307-739-9891 n Dancers’ Workshop presents Sans Souci Festival of Dance Cinema 7:00pm, The Center Theater, $12.00 - $20.00, 307-733-4900 n The Innocents 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n BOGDOG 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-733-3886

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n Boot Camp 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307739-9025 n Toddler Gym 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n Breakfast Club Meetup: Co-Hosted by Spark 8:30am, Community Foundation of Jackson Hole, $10.00 - $20.00, 307-739-1026 n Lodging Tax: Bolster Your Winter Business with Community Assets 8:30am, Wort Hotel, Free n bootybarre® at Dancers’ Workshop 9:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n No School Day Programs 9:00am, National Museum of Wildlife Art, $50.00 - $60.00, 307-733-6379 n Yoga 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307739-9025 n Ballet Workout at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 10:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Gym 10:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n Yoga 12:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307739-9025 n Public Skating 12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633

n Taste of the Holidays 12:00pm, Jackson Whole Grocer & Cafe, $5.00, 307-7330450 n Total Fitness 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307739-9025 n Thanksgiving Turkey Shoot 1:00pm, Archery Range, Free, 307-739-9025 n Free Friday Wine Tasting 4:00pm, The Liquor Store, Free, 307-733-4466 n Open Gym - Adult Soccer 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-0925 n The Cherry Orchard presented by Off Square Theatre Company 7:00pm, Center for the Arts, $20.00, 307-733-4900 n Pam Drews Phillips Plays Jazz 7:00pm, The Granary at Spring Creek Ranch, Free, 307-7338833 n Greensky Bluegrass 7:00pm, Pink Garter Theatre, $20.00 - $22.00, 307-733-1500 n The Innocents 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n Ian McIver 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-733-3886

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

18 | NOVEMBER 11, 2015

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 20

ELIZABETH KOUTRELAKOS

n Pilates Mat Classes at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Gym 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-739-9025 n Jazzercise 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 $82.50, 307-739-9025 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Gym 10:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 $2.50, 307-739-9025 n Public Skating 12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633 n Total Fitness 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 $82.50, 307-739-9025 n Story Time 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Photoshop Fundamentals 2:00pm, Center for the Arts, $120.00, 307-7333886 n After School Kidzart Club 3:30pm, Borshell Children’s Studio, $135.00 $165.00, 307-733-6379 n Open Range 4:30pm, Archery Range at the Recreation Center, $8.00 - $82.50, 307-739-9025 n Explore Archery 4:45pm, Teton County Parks and Rec Gym, $7.00, 307-739-9025 n Lightroom Fundamentals 5:00pm, Center for the Arts, $120.00, 307-7333886 n Barre Fusion at Dancers’ Workshop 5:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Monday Sitting Group 6:00pm, Chiropractic and Sports Injury Center, 307-733-7584 n Evening Yoga 6:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 $82.50, 307-739-9025 n Drawing 6:00pm, Center for the Arts, $100.00, 307-7333886 n Open Level Ballet at Dancers’ Workshop 6:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Monday Night Football 6:30pm, The Virginian Saloon, Free, 307-7399891 n Open Gym - Adult Basketball 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307739-9025 n The JH Chorale Rehearsals 7:00pm, Music Center in the Center for the Arts, Free, 585-872-4934 n Film Screening: The Mask You Live In 7:00pm, The Center Theater, $5.00, 307-7333729

GET OUT

Space to Explore Enjoy a few quieter places while you wait for the snow to fall.

BY ELIZABETH KOUTRELAKOS

T

he hoards of humans mulling about downtown has thinned, and while some locals take off for Thailand and Nicarauga this time of year, early November can be a prime time to enjoy Jackson Hole. As town traffic dips to its lowest level of chaos since May, why not embark on some of the mellower activities here. I’ve outlined this list to guide your off-season meanderings: Take a Dip Now I know what you may be thinking.

Many a townsperson has gone to the rec center only to be overwhelmed by the smell of chlorine and the melodic sounds of young exuberance. But, there is a solution to these woes. The rec center offers lap swimming along with essential water work out items including, but not limited to, bricks for treading water, surfboards for paddle practice and kickboard devices. Swimming laps in the pool offers an intrinsic sense of feeling tired with the full-body feeling of freshness. As for

Take your pick: solitude and sketchy skiing abound this time of year. the chorine, choose to opt out of the swimming cap. Doggie paddling, while perhaps inefficient, seems to offer a better workout with the option of keeping one’s head above water.

Feel the Yogi Love While there is a robust yoga community here in Jackson, mountain humans may fear these classes for good reason. Go to one of these sessions and prepare to feel the burn.

There are people out there that can do things that hurts me to even imagine. Much like the mountains, yoga is a combination of strength and mind training, turning seemingly simply body movements into difficult feats. Akasha Yoga, for example, is among the yoga studios offering a great November special for new students. For a mere $50, you can go to all the yoga classes you want for an entire 30 days.

Hence, for all the yoga skeptics, this deal is a great way to explore capabilities in the body that you never knew existed.

Hot Spring Adventure This low commitment leisure activity can be enjoyed either solo or with a friend. We do live around the Yellowstone Caldera so why not take advantage of the environment in its primetime. With the snowpack still relatively low, walking to hot springs is easy as pie. Where to go, however, is highly dependent on mood and the amount of time you have available. Flagg Ranch used to boast the popular Huckleberry Hot springs. Recent

adoption of Yellowstone’s hot spring regulations closed this spot, as it is currently being restored to its original habitat. However, hot springs adjacent to the river in this area are still permitted. For a shorter drive, head out to Granite Hot Springs for some soaking.

Road conditions out there can be subject to change, so a back up bike can always assist for open planning. For those feeling like more of a road trip, Lava Hot Springs is only a couple hours away and offers warmer temps, cozy cabins and great camping. By now, the summer crowds have cleared out so the place has a mellow and relaxing vibe.

Early-Season Skiing You could always fight the flow and try to ski somewhere. The mountains seem to be right on the cusp of skiing. Some people go and have a great time, while others hit the unanticipated rock and hurt themselves.

Despite my personal avoidance of early-season conditions, I have recognized the happiness that others have found in this venture.

Word to the wise: bring body armor, a helmet and a first aid kid, just in case.

All of these activities not only offer a respite from Netflix binges and looming darkness, but great ways to strengthen the mind and body in the winter season. These popular places in the community are less crowded at this time. Plus, if you do see people, it’s likely someone you want to see anyway. PJH

WELL, THAT HAPPENED

Northern Spotlights Dancing to troll music with Jackson locals at Iceland Airwaves.

BY ANDREW MUNZ @AndrewMunz

I

10:30am - 3:00pm Bottomless Mimosas & Bloody Marys $15

HAPPY HOUR

1/2 Off Drinks Daily 5-7pm

•••••••••••

ANDREW MUNZ

Monday-Saturday 11am, Sunday 10:30am 832 W. Broadway (inside Plaza Liquors)•733-7901

AURORA closing out the night at the Reykjavík Art Museum in Iceland. gleeful gratitude.

In a similar vein, American singer VÈRITÉ brought the house down with her electro indie pop sound, and the crowd erupted during the song “Weekend.” Though those who were in a dancing mood were smart to check out Icelandic band Vök, who incorporate saxophone into their trance-like beats, or Retro Stefson and their Latin pop punk jams.

For festivalgoers eager for a more melodic folk sound, two bands that would do very well performing in Jackson would be Edward Sharpe sound-alike Júniús Meyvant and the gorgeous harmonic female duo, Ylja. A weirder vibe can be found with the six-piece fairy-acid-folk band Grúska Babúska, whose lead singer sounds like she’s 8 years old, and with Hjaltalín, whose frontman looks like he just came back from a Viking raid. And, if you can pronounce them, Árstiðir sings melodies that need to be heard by the ears of everyone I’ve ever met.

However, nothing can compare to the experience of seeing John Grant perform with the Icelandic Symphony Orchestra in the massive Eldborg concert hall. Thirteen rows from the stage, the orchestra and Grant’s Leonard Cohen-meets-Rufus Wainwright voice blasted me with gales of cacophonous beauty.

Airwaves is the most rewarding, exhausting festival I’ve ever been to, and I can only recommend that Jacksonites jump on the opportunity next year. I’ll see you there, somewhere in the back of the bar, shouting your last name to come sit down next to me and have a beer. PJH

NOVEMBER 11, 2015 | 19

event for millions of music lovers around the world. Similar to the multi-venue feel of SXSW in Austin, or even Jackson’s Contour Festival, Airwaves has concerts all across Reykjavík from the 1,500-plus seat Eldborg music hall in Harpa to the standing-room-only wooden attic of Dillon Whiskey Bar. This year, the concert hosted 142 different musical acts at countless official and unofficial venues throughout the city.

With the northern lights showing off overhead, the city buzzes with heavy bass and applause. The unique energy of the festival and the people who attend it is unstoppable and impatient. With music starting at noon and the parties ending at 3 a.m. or later, there is no rest to be had. As the Airwaves website so accurately states: “It’s 4 a.m. You’ve been to five cool clubs, seen 10 great bands, made 15 new friends and fallen in love 20 times. You’re tired. You’re wired. You’re ready to find a bed.

You’re ready to find the after-party. You can’t believe you’re here. You’re already making plans to come back next year. And guess what? It’s still day one.”

With so much happening over a span of five days, I could not attend everything at the same time, nor did I enjoy everything that I attended. However, there are bands that stand out, some that I’d never heard of before and some who now rank as among the best concerts of my life so far.

AURORA was, hands-down, one of the liveliest concerts of the entire festival, though many had to forgo seeing Father John Misty to see the 19-year-old Norwegian answer to Lorde. Her arms floated and flailed, her face contorted in pain and sorrow. And after each song the crowd exploded in cheer, causing singer Aurora Aksnes to giggle and dance in

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n the dim lights of KEX Hostel in Reykjavik, Iceland, Liliana Frandsen and I stood just feet from the stage, ready to enjoy our first concert of the Iceland Airwaves music festival. The first night at KEX was an Irish showcase, with three bands from Ireland set to perform. Surrounded by the buzz of foreign conversations, I could barely make out a word until I heard someone yell, “Prugh!

Over here.”

I turn around and sure enough Jackson real estate mogul Greg Prugh is meandering through the venue to sit down at a table. We exchange greetings and express our excitement for the event. I’m introduced to Joe Spiegel who is already sitting down drinking some Icelandic beer wearing a Brennivín shirt.

Liliana and I shared a laugh over the fact that even though we were 5,000 miles away, Jackson Hole is inescapable. There we were in the northernmost capital of the world along with other Wyomingites experiencing the mellow tunes of the Irish band Slow Skies.

But it’s no surprise. Since it’s first festival in 1999, Iceland Airwaves has been a go-to

SATURDAY & SUNDAY BRUNCH

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

20 | NOVEMBER 11, 2015

TUESDAY NOV. 16

n Kettlebells 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 $82.50, 307-739-9025 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, Free, 307-7336398 n Yoga 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 $82.50, 307-739-9025 n Ballet Workout at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n “Success through Sustainability & the TripAdvisor’s Green Leaders Program” 10:00am, Wort Hotel, $25.00, 307-690-3316 n Crystal Sound Bowl Experience with Daniela Botur 12:00pm, Intencions, Free, 307-733-9290 n Open Gym - Adult Basketball 12:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307739-9025 n Public Skating 12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633 n MELT at Dancers’ Workshop 12:10pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n bootybarre® at Dancers’ Workshop 1:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Abstract 3:30pm, Center for the Arts, $35.00, 307-7333886 n Food for Art 3:30pm, Center for the Arts, $45.00, 307-7333886 n Yoga 4:15pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 $82.50, 307-739-9025 n Jazzercise 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 $82.50, 307-739-9025 n Total Fitness 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00 $82.50, 307-739-9025 n Beginning Painting: Acrylic 6:00pm, Center for the Arts, $100.00, 307-7333886 n Open Gym - Adult Volleyball 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307739-9025 n The Great Siberian Traverse 6:30pm, Pink Garter Theatre, $5.00, 307-7331500 n Hip Hop at Dancers’ Workshop 7:00pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Adult Oil Painting 7:00pm, The Local Galleria, $25.00 - $80.00, 208-270-0883 n Language Exchange Night 7:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Film Screening: Miss Representation 7:00pm, The Center Theater, $5.00, 307-7334900 n One Ton Pig 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307732-3939

FOR COMPLETE EVENT DETAILS VISIT PJHCALENDAR.COM

CINEMA Miner Disaster The 33 goes horribly wrong turning real-life tragedy to generic uplift.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW @scottrenshaw

L

et’s assume—just for the sake of argument—that you bought a ticket for The 33 without knowing anything about the story behind it. Let’s say you were just introduced to several characters who worked at a mine in Chile in the summer of 2010: Mario (Antonio Banderas), who wasn’t scheduled to work on a particular day, but asked to take an extra shift for some extra money; Alex (Mario Casas), who is blissfully happy as his wife is pregnant with their first baby; Darío (Juan Pablo Raba), an alcoholic who is estranged from his sister, María (Juliette Binoche); and even a grey-bearded veteran who is just about to retire. And then let’s say the plot showed them all heading off to work.

Now tell me that there’s any other possible development, except that something terrible is going to happen.

The 33 is, of course, based on the real-life incident in which 33 workers at a gold and copper mine in Chile’s Atacama Desert were trapped after a massive rock fell and blocked the only exit, inspiring rescue efforts that drew international attention. The improbable circumstances behind their (historical spoiler alert) survival is a natural for a cinematic treatment, one that could be inspirational both as an example of resilient faith and as a case study in institutional determination. But a movie needs more than a concept. It needs to be executed with some degree of skill. And The 33 is a case study in poor execution.

It probably doesn’t help that it appears so soon after The Martian, employing a structure that’s virtually identical, except that the seemingly impossible rescue is here on Earth. Half of the narrative focuses on events underground, where Mario becomes the de facto leader of the 33 miners, figuring out how to ration their meager food supplies and dealing with interpersonal tensions. The

Antonio Banderas (center left) leads a crew of trapped miners in The 33. other half follows the efforts above-ground to get to them, as the Chilean government’s head of mining (Rodrigo Santoro) and a no-nonsense engineer (Gabriel Byrne) try to maneuver the massive drills around pockets of impenetrable bedrock.

The 33, unlike The Martian, doesn’t commit itself to being fundamentally about problem-solving, but it also doesn’t succeed at being an emotional, character-based drama.

It wants to grasp the sad dilemma of men separated from their loving, concerned families, even if that means setting up those connections in the manner described above— entirely in movie shorthand, too concerned with giving a handful of characters at least one identifiable relationship and/or conflict to give any individual a character that feels real. While there’s much more potential in dealing with the goings-on on the surface— between the technical challenges, political wrangling and the tent city/media circus that surrounds the mine site like something out of Ace in the Hole—director Patricia Riggen (Under the Same Moon) and the screenwriting team still waste time on comic-relief nonsense like the wife and mistress of one miner (The Office’s Oscar Nuñez) fighting over which one he loves best.

Then again, that example represents the broad strokes with which Riggen paints virtually everything in The 33—including the performances. There’s little sense of the danger or claustrophobia facing these men,

because nearly every moment spent with them involves shouting matches or inspirational speeches; the actors—including Banderas and Lou Diamond Phillips—play those moments for all the bombast that isn’t already underscored by the music (a sadly underwhelming final credit for the late James Horner). And it’s not much better on the surface, where Binoche offers up line readings that would be embarrassing even if she weren’t a French woman playing a Latina.

There’s one wonderfully atypical scene in which the miners—facing what they believe might be their last supper—imagine a lavish feast of all their favorite foods.

It’s a terrific example of what The 33 could have accomplished if it were interested in anything resembling psychological realism, rather than ticking off a checklist of events on the way to generic uplift. There’s nothing wrong with a survival-against-all odds story that aims for the heart instead of the head, but this one keeps blasting indiscriminately away at the heart, destroying all the other vital organs along the way. PJH

THE 33 B.5 Antonio Banderas Rodrigo Santoro Lou Diamond Phillps Rated PG-13

TRY THESE Ace in the Hole (1951) Kirk Douglas Jan Sterling Not Rated

Desperado (1995) Antonio Banderas Salma Hayek Rated R

Under the Same Moon (2007) Adrian Alonso Kate del Castillo Rated PG-13

127 Hours (2010) James Franco Amber Tamblyn Rated R

FROM THE JHSM ARCHIVES

Editor’s Note: As snowboarders near and far shed their blood, sweat and tears over the upcoming issue of Jackson Hole Snowboarder Magazine, we decided to revisit one of our favorite pieces from last year.

WOR DS AN D PHOT O: JOSI STEPHENS

rambling off-topic conversations were nuggets of info that if put together make a strange sort of narration.

“When I was young there was this neighbor kid who had a cat that was sick. I watched him try in many ways to kill it,” Jamie says. “He hung it up, kicked it, and finally drowned it in a sack. It was fucked up, probably the worst thing I had seen at that point. After that I just found myself harboring wounded cats. They would just show up and I’d nurse them back to health.

That’s partially the reason that I paint them. Cats just do what they want. Mine usually end up lying down on top of what I am trying to paint, or putting themselves directly in my view so that I have to draw them. They demand attention.”

Jamie travels with a skateboard, a small backpack, and a guitar. And that is all that anyone really needs to know about what matters to him. The first stop for him was a skate session with Bryan Iguchi that didn’t end until blood was drawn. (Jamie skates like a demon on fire embracing the burn. Pain does not stop him.) When he’s not on wheels he has his guitar in hand.

During his visit in Jackson, there was music for everything; Jamie is constantly strumming.

“Some of what I do is brilliance, some of it, bullshit. I just go with it.”

Oregon born, raised by the sea, Josi Stephens is a writer of words, designer of clothes, doer of things at Asymbol, lover, fighter and renaissance woman.

NOVEMBER 11, 2015 | 21

“Music is just as important as the art expression for me. I have been playing with Wes Makepeace (*Tittyfish* front man), which is amazing,” Jamie explains. “He has the most amazing voice, which lets me focus on playing guitar. Tittyfish is like a variety show with an evolving line-up, most of us have been playing together off and on for a while.”

The process of getting Jamie to Jackson, pinning him down for a proper interview, and the subsequent crafting of this article were illuminating experiences. Jamie is like smoke. If you grab at him or try to capture him in any way, he disappears. Every conversation with him, despite any efforts to the contrary, take on a Confucius like form. One sentence from him on any topic is concise and clear enough to end the entire conversation. We never

talked about snowboarding, but by the time he left I understood the sport better than I ever have. I suppose that I understand quite a few things better thanks to him. It all just goes off the rails when Jamie is around. You have to just go with it. If I forgot to ask him about his life long career in the industry it was because it seemed irrelevant in the face of his current existence, his band, his art, traveling, storytelling.

“My grandpa Floyd always said, “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.” Some of what I do its brilliance, some of it, bullshit. I just go with it.”

When the time came to start the mural, Jamie worked tirelessly, sometimes as late as 3 a.m. What I thought was going to be a rock star experience was more like hanging out with your grandpa in his work shed. He tinkers; you drink whiskey and get high off of spray can fumes.

On the way to the airport I told him about a quote I had just heard: “The richest places on the planet are the graveyards. That’s where everybody takes their dreams, their wishes, and they die there, undone.”

To this he replied, “I am leaving nothing for the grave. I am going to spend every part of myself before I get there.”

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

amie Lynn is like a cat. He comes and goes as he pleases, actions are reflex and instinct. He is one of those photos where the edges are blurry with movement and the subject perfectly clear, everyone and everything in constant motion while he holds a strangely still center. Despite what folks think that they know, around him there is a calm. This man, a snowboard legend, an accomplished artist, a musician, doesn’t think about what’s going to happen or what has happened, he just lives.

“It’s just a matter of living a completely full and fun life,” Jamie says. “Not knowing makes it interesting, it keeps me moving forward.”

That is why he is still here and why, after two decades in this industry, there are still things to say about him.

Jamie’s art is a large part of the core Asymbol quiver, now and in the beginning. His work makes up a good chunk of the original collection assembled by Travis Rice and Mike Parillo in 2009.

Inviting him to Asymbol’s new location in Jackson Hole to paint a wall was the next step. The result: vibrating color and dreamy visions. Much like his board riding and music making, Jamie’s art sends it off of the map that he himself has designed. There are nods to his roots and swings towards a fence that only he sees, the rules, whether he knows them or not, don’t really seem to apply.

The mural puts all of life’s driving elements – mountains, sun, snow, and water – on a linear plane. His simple, harmonious approach to color and subject is a companion to his snowboarding style – visceral and classic. After all of these years Jamie is still true to these basic ingredients.

As Jamie hits the 20-year mark of riding for Libtech the time is ripe for digging into his mind a little bit. The keeper of snowboarding’s evolution, Jamie has seen and done more in 20 years than some will do in a lifetime. Sitting with him and listening to his stories is like gathering around a campfire with those that came before as they share our collective history. Almost immediately all of the questions I had planned on asking went out the window, along with any hope of a traditional interview.

Jamie quietly rejects conventional methods, which isn’t to say that he won’t share everything with you. He does. Nestled deep in

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

22 | NOVEMBER 11, 2015

Sandy, 10:00am, $12.50, 1-800-521-7469 n Strayboots Interactive Scavenger Hunt Fri - Sun Salt Lake CIty, Salt Lake City, 10:00am, $10.00, 877-787-2929 n Young Frankenstein Fri, Sat, Sat The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., South Ogden, 7:30pm, $17.00 - $20.00 n Sailor Jerry presents: An Evening with Lucero Sat, Sun The State Room, 638 S State Street, Salt Lake City, 9:00pm, $30.00

Who’s up for a road trip? There’s plenty to do down south in Salt Lake City next weekend.

Whether your interests lie in music, theater and the arts—or something a bit more downto-earth—here’s what’s going on in the Beehive State. (Visit cityweekly.net/events for complete listings.) So hit the road! But be sure and bring a snack—because, now and then, everybody craves something salty.

WEEKEND OF NOV. 13

n The Addams Family Fri - Sat Beverly’s Terrace Plaza Playhouse, 99 East 4700 South, South Ogden, 7:30pm, $9.00 - $14.00, 801- 3930070 n Birds of Paradise: Amazing Avian Evolution Fri - Sun Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 10:00am, $9.00 - $13.00, 801-581-6927 n Brian Bress: Make Your Own Friends Fri - Sun Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, Salt Lake City, $12.00 - $14.00, 801-581-7332 n Carrie: The Musical Fri, Sat, Sat, Sun Sorenson Unity Center, 1383 S. 900 West, Salt Lake City, 7:30pm, $15.00 - $18.00 n Disney On Ice: Dare to Dream Fri, Sat, Sat, Sat, Sun, Sun Vivint Smart Home Arena, 301 W South Temple, Salt Lake City, 7:00pm, $20.00 - $50.00 n Firelei Baez: Patterns of Resistance Fri - Sat Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S West Temple, Salt Lake City, Free n The Flick Fri, Sat, Sun Good Company Theatre, 260 25th street, Ogden, 8:00pm, $15.00 - $17.00 n Glass Art Guild of Utah Show Fri - Sun Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 9:00am, $6.00 - $10.00 n Miss Nelson is Missing Fri - Sat Kingsbury Hall, 1395 Presidents Cir, Salt Lake City, 7:00pm, $5.00 - $10.00 n Mystery Escape Room Fri - Sat The Gateway, 157 S. Rio Grande St., Salt Lake City, 9:30am, $29.95 n Opening Night: Ben Gaulon, Tyrone Davies, Jean Richardson Fri Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S West Temple, Salt Lake City, 7:00pm, Free n Outside Mullingar Fri, Sat, Sat Pioneer Theater Company, 300 S. 1400 East, Salt Lake City, 8:00pm, $25.00 - $44.00 n Rebecca Klundt: Reformation - A Rearranging of Elements Fri Rio Grande Depot, 300 S. Rio Grande Street, Salt Lake City, 8:00am, Free, 801-245-7272 n Redford Film Series Fri Sundance Mountain Resort, 8841 N Alpine Loop Rd, Sundance, 8:00pm, Free, 801-223-4144 n Salt Lake Family Christmas Gift Show Fri - Sun South Towne Expo Center, 9575 S. State Street,

WEEKEND OF NOV. 20

n Birds of Paradise: Amazing Avian Evolution Fri - Sun Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 10:00am, $9.00 - $13.00, 801-581-6927 n The British Passion for Landscape: Masterpieces from National Museum Wales Fri - Sun Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, Salt Lake City, $12.00 - $14.00, 801-581-7332 n Firelei Baez: Patterns of Resistance Fri - Sat Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S West Temple, Salt Lake City, Free n The Flick Fri, Sat, Sun Good Company Theatre, 260 25th street, Ogden, 8:00pm, $15.00 - $17.00, n Glass Art Guild of Utah Show Fri - Sun Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 9:00am, $6.00 - $10.00, http://www.redbuttegarden.org/hours_admission n Grouch Who Stole Christmas Fri - Sat The Off Broadway Theater, 272 South Main St, Salt Lake City, 7:30pm, $8.00 - $16.00 n Mystery Escape Room Fri - Sat The Gateway, 157 S. Rio Grande St., Salt Lake City, 9:30am, $29.95 n Nitro Circus Fri Vivint Smart Home Arena, 301 W South Temple, Salt Lake City, 7:00pm, $79.00 - $99.00 n Redford Film Series Fri Sundance Mountain Resort, 8841 N Alpine Loop Rd, Sundance, 8:00pm, Free, 801-223-4144 n Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Musical Fri - Sun Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 8:00pm n Ryan Hamilton Fri, Fri, Sat, Sat Wiseguys West Valley City, 2194 W. 3500 South, West Valley City, 7:30pm, $20.00 n Young Frankenstein Fri - Sun Egyptian Theater Company, 328 Main St, Park City, 8:00pm

WEEKEND OF NOV. 27

n Grouch Who Stole Christmas Fri - Sat The Off Broadway Theater, 272 South Main St, Salt Lake City, 7:30pm, $8.00 - $16.00 n Mystery Escape Room Fri - Sat The Gateway, 157 S. Rio Grande St., Salt Lake City, 9:30am, $29.95 n Redford Film Series Fri Sundance Mountain Resort, 8841 N Alpine Loop Rd, Sundance, 8:00pm, Free, 801-223-4144 n Strayboots Interactive Scavenger Hunt Fri - Sun Salt Lake CIty, Salt Lake City, 10:00am, $10.00, 877-787-2929 n Young Frankenstein Fri - Sun Egyptian Theater Company, 328 Main St, Park City, 8:00pm n New Orleans Pelicans at Utah Jazz Sat EnergySolutions Arena, 301 W South Temple, Salt Lake City, 7:00

WEEKEND OF DEC. 4

Support Local Brands Find us on KickStarter WWW.ANDSHESDOPETOO.COM

NOVEMBER 11, 2015 | 23

Fri - Sat Museum of Art, North Campus Drive, Provo, 10:00am n Haskell Fighting Indians at Utah State Aggies Womens Basketball Fri Dee Glen Smith Spectrum, 7600 Old Main Hill, Logan, 7:00pm n Health + Pictureplane Fri The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, Salt Lake City, 8:00pm, $12.00 - $14.00 n Holiday Group Exhibit Fri Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, Salt Lake City, 9:00am, Free n Holiday Lights Fri - Sat Thanksgiving Point, 3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, 6:00pm n The Holiday Show Fri Artspace City Center, 230 S. 500 West, Salt Lake City, 10:00am, Free n It Happened One Christmas Fri - Sat Pioneer Theater Company, 300 S. 1400 East, Salt Lake City, 7:30pm n It’s a Wonderful Life: The Musical Fri - Sat SCERA, 745 S State, Orem, 7:30pm, $12.00 n Joseph Smith Memorial Building 2015 Christmas Art Showcase and Art Sale Fri - Sat Joseph Smith Memorial Building, 15 E South Temple, Salt Lake City, 9:00am, Free n Joyful Noise at Brinton Black Box Fri - Sat Covey Center for the Arts, 425 West Center Street, Provo, 7:30pm n Julie Moffitt Ballet School presents The Nutcracker Ballet Fri, Sat, Sat Peerys Egyptian Theater, 2415 Washington Boulevard, Ogden, 7:00pm, n Jump After Dark Fri - Sat The wAIRhouse Indoor Trampoline Park, 3653 South 500 West, Salt Lake City, 6:00pm n Mystery Escape Room Fri - Sat The Gateway, 157 S. Rio Grande St., Salt Lake City, 9:30am, $29.95 n No Place Like Home Fri - Sat Museum of Art, North Campus Drive, Provo, Free, 801-422-8287 n North Pole Express Fri, Sat Heber Valley Historic Railroad, 450 South 6th West, Heber City, 2:00pm, $45.00 n Picasso, Warhol, and Other Modernist Prints On View Fri Museum of Art, North Campus Drive, Provo, 10:00am n Picturing the Iconic: Andy Warhol to Kara Walker Fri - Sat Kimball Art Center, 1401 Kearns Blvd., Park City, Free n Pigeons Fri - Sun Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 10:00am, $9.00 - $13.00, 801-581-6927 n Rain Day Regional - SLC Fri Salt Lake Marriott Downtown at City Creek, Salt Lake City, 7:00pm n Reindeer Trek Fri, Sat Willow Park Zoo, 419 W. 700 S., Logan, 4:00pm, $2.50 - $3.00 n Santa Photos Fri - Sun Provo Towne Centre, 1200 Towne Centre Blvd., Provo, 6:00pm n Scrooge - A Christmas Carol Fri - Sat Beverly’s Terrace Plaza Playhouse, 99 East 4700 South, South Ogden, 7:30pm, $9.00 - $14.00 n Simple Treasures Holiday Boutique in Ogden Fri - Sat Golden Spike Events Center, 1000 N 1200 W, South Ogden, 10:00am, $1.00 n Songwriter Showcase Fri Harris Fine Arts Center, 1 University Hill, Provo, 7:00pm

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n A CHRISTMAS CAROL - 2015 at December 4 December 23, 2015 Fri, Sat, Sat Hale Center Theater Orem, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 8:00pm n A Visual Feast Fri - Sat Horne Fine Art Exhibit, 142 East 800 South, Salt Lake City, Free n ALTA GEAR SWAP 2014 Fri - Sat Our Lady of the Snows Center, 10189 East State Highway 210, Alta, 3:00pm, $1.00 n Art Dog Fri - Sun Salt Lake Acting Company, 168 W. 500 North, Salt Lake City, 7:00pm n Art Stroll Fri Covey Center for the Arts, 425 West Center Street, Provo n Bridgette Meinhold: Timing Is Everything Fri - Sun Gallery MAR, 580 Main Street, Park City, 10:00am, Free n The British Passion for Landscape: Masterpieces from National Museum Wales Fri - Sun Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, Salt Lake City, $12.00 - $14.00, 801-581-7332 n BYUSA: Freeze Fest Fri Peaks Ice Arena, 100 N Seven Peaks Blvd, Provo, 7:00pm n Celebration of Christmas Fri, Sat, Sat Harris Fine Arts Center, 1 University Hill, Provo, 7:00pm n Christkindlmarkt at This is the Place Fri - Sat This Is The Place Heritage Park, 2106 Sunnyside Avenue, Salt Lake City, 11:00am n Christmas Around the World Fri, Sat, Sat Marriott Center, 1497 N 450 E, Provo, 7:30pm, n Christmas from the Ellen Eccles Theatre Fri, Sat Ellen Eccles Theatre, 43 S Main St, Logan, 7:30pm n Christmas Village Fri - Sun Municipal Gardens, 25th St. & Grant Ave, Ogden, 801-629-8720 n Colors of the Season Fri - Sun Art at the Main, 210 E. 400 South, Salt Lake City, Free n Comedy Sportz Fri - Sat Comedy Sportz, 36 West Center St., Provo, 8:00pm, $5.00 - $12.00, 801-377-9700 n Divine Comedy Best of Show Fri, Fri, Sat, Sat Brigham Young University, 1 University Hill, Provo, 7:00pm n Family Vacaton Fri - Sun Springville Museum of Art, 126 E 400 S, Springville, Free n Farm to Table Banquet Fri Caffe Ibis, 710 W 200 N, Logan, 6:00pm, $20.00 n Forever Plaid: Plaid Tidings Fri, Sat Empress Theatre, 9104 W. 2700 South, Magna, 7:30pm, $10.00 n Forgotten Carols Fri Dee Events Center, 4400 Harrison Blvd, Ogden n Gallery at the Station Exhibit Opening Fri Gallery at the Station, Ogden, Ut, Ogden, 6:00pm n Glass Art Guild of Utah Show Fri - Sun Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 9:00am, $6.00 - $10.00 n THE GREAT CHRISTMAS ADVENTURE at Gardner Village Fri - Sat Gardner Village, 1100 West 7800 South, West Jordan, 5:30pm n Grouch Who Stole Christmas Fri - Sat The Off Broadway Theater, 272 South Main St, Salt Lake City, 7:30pm, $8.00 - $16.00 n Guest Lecture: Stanley Crouch

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

24 | NOVEMBER 11, 2015

BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

Frugal, Friendly... and French?

Yes, you can drink French wine on a budget.

BY TED SCHEFFLER @critic1

I

’ll bet that if you played a wordassociation game with most people and asked for their first thought to describe French wines, “expensive” and “quality” would be two of the most common descriptions. It’s not that the French are incapable of making bad wine; I’ve had a few such bottles.

But, they are rare. The French have a proven, proud history of quality wine-making.

Unfortunately, most of the best French wines are beyond my budget, and maybe beyond yours. As much as I lust after wines like Domaine de la Romanée-Conti, Château Pétrus, Salon, Château Cheval Blanc, Château Lafite Rothschild and such,

I can’t afford to drink them except on lucky occasions when some wealthy wine aficionado pours me a sip.

Still, I drink French wine regularly. That’s because, thankfully, there are a lot of really good French wines available that do fit my budget. I might not mistake any of them for Pétrus, but they’re great everyday French wines that won’t break the bank. Here are a few of my favorites: If you look beyond the Champagne region of France for French bubbly, you’ll find bargains. One is Lucien Albrecht Crémant d’Alsace Brut ($19.99). The Albrecht family has been making wine in Alsace since 1425, and this light, delicate Brut is made just like sparkling wine from Champagne—by the méthode traditionnelle—but utilizing Pinot Blanc, Pinot Gris and Riesling grapes. It makes for a terrific aperitif or partner for light fare.

While we’re in Alsace, we should also pick up a bottle of good Pinot Gris, one of the region’s wine specialties. I love Domaines Schlumberger Pinot Gris Les Princes Abbés ($21.99), a well-balanced Pinot Gris with apricot, white peach and honey notes, combined with a hint of smoke. It’s an ideal accompaniment for Alsatian choucroute garni. And, although it costs a little more than I usually spend on everyday wine, there’s nothing “everyday” about Domaine Zind-Humbrecht Gewürztraminer ($28.76), which is about as good as Gewürztraminer gets. Beautiful

IMBIBE floral rose aromas accompany elegant spice tones and flavors of lychee, apricot and ginger. It’s a match made in heaven for foie gras.

One of my go-to house white w ines is Le Cirque Grenache Gris ($13.99).

It’s aged in stainless steel, with no malolactic fermentation— but is quite aromatic with notes of honeysuckle. On the palate are ripe melon flavors as well as white peach and pineapple. I drink this wine often with sushi.

Maybe it’s not Puligny-Montrachet, but at least I can afford to reach for a bottle of white Burgundy when it’s Albert Bichot Mâcon-Villages ($14.99). It’s 100-percent Chardonnay from the Mâconnais region of southern Burgundy and is an excellent match for cream sauces, shellfish, seafood, white meats and Gruyere cheese. I served it on

Valentine’s Day w ith lobster risotto.

If you’re in the market for a red Bordeaux wine with much better than average price-to-quality ratio, Château Les Verriers B o r d e a u x ($10.75) is a wine that delivers.

Seriously? Tenbuck Bordeaux?

Yup. This wine was a slam-dunk with a hearty la daube de boeuf a l’Avignonnais that I cooked up recently. For about a dollar more, Château du Juge Bordeaux ($11.99) from the right bank of the Garonne River Valley is another hard bargain to beat.

Finally, from one of the oldest vineyards in France—dating back more than 2,000 years—comes M. Chapoutier Belleruche Côtes-du-Rhône ($12.99). It’s a wine with firm, silky tannins, flavors of morello cherries, anise and pepper. It’s a can’t-miss match for steak au poivre. PJH

SCOOP UP THESE SAVINGS

1/16TH COLOR AD Trio is located just off the town square in downtown Jackson, and is owned & operated by local chefs with a passion for good food.

Our menu features contemporary American dishes inspired by classic bistro cuisine. Daily specials feature wild game, fish and meats.

Enjoy a glass of wine at the bar in front of the wood-burning oven and watch the chefs perform in the open kitchen.

Local is a modern American steakhouse and bar located on Jackson’s historic town square.

Serving locally raised beef and, regional game, fresh seafood and seasonally inspired food, Local offers the perfect setting for lunch, drinks or dinner.

Lunch 11:30am Monday-Saturday Dinner 5:30pm Nightly

Dinner Nightly at 5:30pm 45 S. Glenwood Available for private events & catering For reservations please call 734-8038

HAPPY HOUR Daily 4-6:00pm

307.201.1717 | LOCALJH.COM ON THE TOWN SQUARE

• FREE PRINT LISTING (50-75 WORDS) • FREE ONLINE LISTING ON PLANETJH.COM • 6 MONTH MINIMUM COMMITMENT • $25 A WEEK CASH OR $40 A WEEK TRADE ON HALF OFF JH

CONTACT YOUR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE TODAY TO LEARN MORE

SALES@PLANETJH.COM OR 307.732.0299

THE LOCALS

FAVORITE PIZZA 2012, 2013 & 2014 •••••••••

$7

$4 Well Drink Specials

LUNCH

SPECIAL Slice, salad & soda

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

TV Sports Packages and 7 Screens

Under the Pink Garter Theatre (307) 734-PINK • www.pinkygs.com

Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom and pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves!

ASIAN & CHINESE TETON THAI Serving the world’s most exciting cuisine.

Teton Thai offers a splendid array of flavors: sweet, hot, sour, salt and bitter. All balanced and blended perfectly, satisfying the most discriminating palate. Open daily.

7432 Granite Loop Road in Teton Village, (307) 733-0022 and in Driggs, (208) 7878424, tetonthai.com.

KAZUMI Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally FRESH FOOD at reasonable prices, is a always a FUN PLACE to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel RIGHT AT HOME and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit.

Reservations at (307) 733-4913 3295 Village Drive • Teton Village, WY

www.mangymoose.com

Breakfast • Lunch

Kazumi is a family-owned and operated restaurant serving unique sushi rolls, fresh sashimi and nigiri, and off-the-charts specialty items. Located near the Town Square, we also feature hot noodle soups and the spiciest rolls in town! Open Monday through Saturday at 11 a.m - 9:30 p.m.

265 West Broadway, 307-733-9168, jacksonholesushi.com.

CONTINENTAL

McDonald’s ® November Locals Special ONLY

4

$ 99 + tax

THE BLUE LION A Jackson Hole favorite for 37 years. Join us in the charming atmosphere of a historic home.

Ask a local about our rack of lamb. Serving fresh fish, elk, poultry, steaks, and vegetarian entrées. Live acoustic guitar music most nights. Open at 5:30 p.m. Closed Tuesdays.

Off Season Special: 2 for 1 Entrees. Good all night. Must mention ad. Reservations recommended, walk-ins welcome.

160 N. Millward, (307) 733-3912, bluelionrestaurant.com

•••••••

WWW.TETONLOTUSCAFE.COM

CAFE GENEVIEVE Serving inspired home cooked classics in a historic log cabin. Enjoy brunch daily at 8 a.m., dinner nightly at 5 p.m., and happy hour daily 3-5:30 p.m. featuring $5 glasses of wine, $5 specialty drinks, $3 bottled beer.

135 E. Broadway, (307) 732-1910, genevievejh. com.

ELEANOR’S

Fast, Affordable and On Your Way! 1110 W. Broadway Jackson, Wyoming Open daily 5:00am to midnight Free Wi-Fi

NOVEMBER 11, 2015 | 25

Enjoy all the perks of fine dining, minus the dress code at Eleanor’s, serving rich, saucy dishes in a warm and friendly setting.

Eleanor’s is a primo brunch spot on Sunday afternoons. Its bar alone is an attraction, thanks to reasonably priced drinks and a loyal crowd. Come get a belly-full of our two-time gold medal wings. Open at 11 a.m. daily.

832 W. Broadway, (307) 733-7901.

Get a Big Mac®, Medium Fries and a Medium Soft Drink for only $4.99 plus tax during the month of November.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Serving breakfast and lunch daily 8am - 3pm 145 N. Glenwood (307) 734-0882

®

Large Specialty Pizza ADD: Wings (8 pc)

Medium Pizza (1 topping) Stuffed Cheesy Bread

$ 13 99

for an extra $5.99/each

(307) 733-0330 520 S. Hwy. 89 • Jackson, WY

LIMIT 1 PER A TABLE

265 WEST BROADWAY 307-733-9168 JACKSONHOLESUSHI.COM

FAMILY FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT

OFF SEASON SPECIAL

PIZZAS, PASTAS & MORE

2FOR1

HOUSEMADE BREAD & DESSERTS

ENTREES

FRESH, LOCALLY SOURCED OFFERINGS

Good all night • Open nightly at 5:30pm Closed tuesdays • Ends December 10th

TAKE OUT AVAILABLE Dining room and bar open nightly at 5:00pm (307) 733-2460 • 2560 Moose Wilson Road • Wilson, WY

A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965

733-3912

160 N. Millward • Reservations recommended Reserve online at bluelionrestaurant.com

Steamed Subs Hot Dogs Soups & Salads

The Deli That’ll Rock Your Belly 307-733-3448 | Open Daily 11am-7pm 180 N. Center St. | 1 block n. of Town Square Next to Home Ranch Parking Lot

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

26 | NOVEMBER 11, 2015

BUY 1 GET 1 APPETIZERS

FULL STEAM SUBS

SWEETWATER

The deli that’ll rock your belly. Jackson’s newest sub shop serves steamed subs, reubens, gyros, delicious all beef hot dogs, soups and salads. We offer Chicago style hot dogs done just the way they do in the windy city. Open daily11 a.m. to 7 p.m.

Located just a short block north of the Town Square at 180 N. Center Street, (307) 733-3448.

Satisfying locals for lunch and dinner for over 36 years with deliciously affordable comfort food.

Extensive local and regional beer list. Lunch 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. features blackened trout salad, elk melt, wild west chili and vegetarian specialties. Dinner 5:30 to 9 p.m. including potato-crusted trout, 16 ounce ribeye, vegan and wild game. Reservations welcome.

(307) 733-3553. sweetwaterjackson.com.

LOCAL Local, a modern American steakhouse and bar, is located on Jackson’s historic town square. Our menu features both classic and specialty cuts of locally-ranched meats and wild game alongside fresh seafood, shellfish, house-ground burgers, and seasonallyinspired food. We offer an extensive wine list and an abundance of locally-sourced products.

Offering a casual and vibrant bar atmosphere with 12 beers on tap as well as a relaxed dining room, Local is the perfect spot to grab a burger for lunch or to have drinks and dinner with friends. Lunch Mon-Sat 11:30am. Dinner Nightly 5:30pm.

55 North Cache, (307) 201-1717, localjh.com.

LOTUS CAFE Serving organic, freshly-made world cuisine while catering to all eating styles. Endless organic and natural meat, vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free choices. Offering super smoothies, fresh extracted juices, espresso and tea. Full bar and house-infused botanical spirits. Open daily 8am for breakfast lunch and dinner.

145 N. Glenwood St., (307) 734-0882, tetonlotuscafe.com.

MANGY MOOSE Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally fresh food at reasonable prices, is a always a fun place to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel right at home and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit.

Teton Village, (307) 733-4913, mangymoose. com.

SNAKE RIVER BREWERY & RESTAURANT

DIY 2015 • ctober ember/O 6 • Sept Issue

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America’s most award-winning microbrewery is serving lunch and dinner. Take in the atmosphere while enjoying wood-fired pizzas, pastas, burgers, sandwiches, soups, salads and desserts. $9 lunch menu. Happy hour 4 to 6 p.m., including tasty hot wings. The freshest beer in the valley, right from the source! Free WiFi. Open 11:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m.

265 S. Millward. (307) 739-2337, snakeriverbrewing.com.

TRIO Owned and operated by Chefs with a passion for good food, Trio is located right off the Town square in downtown Jackson. Featuring a variety of cuisines in a relaxed atmosphere, Trio is famous for its wood-oven pizzas, specialty cocktails and waffle fries with bleu cheese fondue. Dinner nightly at 5:30 p.m.

Reservations.

(307) 734-8038 or bistrotrio.com.

ITALIAN CALICO A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965, the Calico continues to be one of the most popular restaurants in the Valley. The Calico offers the right combination of really good food, (much of which is grown in our own gardens in the summer), friendly staff; a reasonably priced menu and a large selection of wine. Our bar scene is eclectic with a welcoming vibe. Open nightly at 5 p.m.

2560 Moose Wilson Rd., (307) 733-2460.

MEXICAN EL ABUELITO Serving authentic Mexican cuisine and appetizers in a unique Mexican atmosphere.

Home of the original Jumbo Margarita.

Featuring a full bar with a large selection of authentic Mexican beers. Lunch served weekdays 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Nightly dinner specials. Open seven days, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.

385 W. Broadway, (307) 733-1207.

PIZZA DOMINO’S PIZZA Hot and delicious delivered to your door. Handtossed, deep dish, crunchy thin, Brooklyn style and artisan pizzas; bread bowl pastas, and oven baked sandwiches; chicken wings, cheesy breads and desserts. Delivery.

520 S. Hwy. 89 in Kmart Plaza, (307) 733-0330.

PINKY G’S The locals favorite! Voted Best Pizza in Jackson Hole 2012, 2013 and 2014. Seek out this hidden gem under the Pink Garter Theatre for NY pizza by the slice, salads, stromboli’s, calzones and many appetizers to choose from. Try the $7 ‘Triple S’ lunch special.Happy hours 10 p.m.

- 12 a.m. Sun.- Thu. Text PINK to 71441 for discounts. Delivery and take-out. Open daily 11a.m. to 2 a.m.

50 W. Broadway, (307) 734-PINK.

Mitigating Familial Conflict Just in time for the holidays: How to let go of destructive family patterns.

H

oliday time usually includes spending time with the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly of family dynamics and individual personalities. A measure of spiritual maturity and a key to personal freedom is the ability to accept others for who they are and to no longer get hooked by any of those people whom you find challenging.

The truth is that holding on to being angry with family members, feeling deprived by them, wanting them to be different from how they are, or trying to fix them are all a set up for draining your energy, dragging you down, undermining your self-worth and sidetracking you from being your best self.

Everyone reacts defensively to being judged as “less than.” We are all capable of changing, but first we have to want to change and then commit to doing the required hard work.

Practice Acceptance

Another helpful truth to keep in your mind and heart is that everyone is doing

The metaphysical view is that what your parents (siblings and relatives) can/ do give you and what they cannot/don’t give you are equally important parts of the intentional software for your own evolution. Of course it is important (and easier) to appreciate and benefit from the good qualities your parents and others bring/ brought to your experience.

You can make lemonade of all that you didn’t get from your family of origin when you realize that what they did not have to give is what you intend to evolve and refine in yourself this life. If they were too critical, it is for you to be non-judgmental with yourself and others. If they were not affectionate enough, it is for you to add being affectionate to your repertoire. If they were not present, it is for you to show up and be present to yourself and others.

You get the gist.

SCOOP UP THESE SAVINGS WITH THE PLANET

1/16TH COLOR AD • FREE PRINT LISTING (50 TO 75 WORDS) • FREE ONLINE LISTING ON PLANETJH.COM • 6 MONTH MINIMUM COMMITMENT • $25 A WEEK CASH OR $40 A WEEK TRADE ON HALF OFF JH

SALES@PLANETJH.COM OR 307.732.0299

Create Miracles When you lovingly let go of your part of the family pattern, seeming miracles often happen. Because you are not projecting your disapproval, they do not feel the need to attack or defend. Since you are no longer available, they let go or move on to someone else who is more available to engage in the “fight.”

Find Your Soul Family We all have biological family members with whom we may or many not have ease or soul connection. And we also have soul families who are people with whom there is an undeniable, easy, mutual deep affection and connection. Pursuing relationships with these folks will give you the kind of supportive family experience you may not have or have not had at home. And if you are already blessed with wonderful relationships in your biological family, adding soul family members extends the circle of love. PJH

Carol Mann is a longtime Jackson resident, radio personality, former Grand Targhee Resort owner, author, and clairvoyant.

Got a Cosmic Question? Email carol@yourcosmiccafe.com

NOVEMBER 11, 2015 | 27

Practice Compassion

Make Lemonade

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Acceptance is a state of being in which you are an objective observer… like a newspaper reporter. You see what is happening and do not take it personally or add any opinion. The ability to simply observe allows you to remain neutral in the presence of other people’s quirks and negativity. You can simply notice that your mother/father is “at it again.” The minute you take their behavior personally, react emotionally and judge them, you are hooked.

the best they can with what they have.

Every member of your family has their own soul, their own learning lessons, their own history, their own skills and flaws, perceptions and misperceptions of events, which they experienced and which have nothing to do with you. Knowing this, you can stop taking them personally and shift to being compassionate and kind. As the Dali Lama says, “Whenever possible be kind. It is always possible.”

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

28 | NOVEMBER 11, 2015

SUDOKU

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

L.A.TIMES “GOING ON A BENDER” By Bruce Haight

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2015

ACROSS

01 Gets hitched 06 Unpopular party gal 011 Goes 0 for 20, say 015 Get some fresh air 017 Complained 018 Drives unsteadily 019 Give an edge to 020 Maestro Toscanini 021 Half of a storybook duo 022 Knocks in the theater 023 Seafood entrée 025 Put an edge on 027 Big Ten sch.

028 “The Simpsons” disco guy 029 Director’s cry 030 Already 032 Growth period 033 Former South African president for whom a gold coin is named 034 Caine captain 035 Stopped lying?

036 One may be personal 038 Harold’s film partner 039 Leading 040 Book intros 041 Wisecracks 042 Pac-Man feature 043 Call it a night 044 Salad veggies 045 How some Niagara stunts are done 048 Buttermilk rider 049 Bee output 050 Rains cats and dogs 052 Zebra on a court 053 Link clicker’s destination 054 Wax eloquent ... and what to do to solve eight puzzle clues 056 “The Clan of the Cave Bear” heroine

057 __-Cat 058 Beauty’s admirer 059 Hardly seaworthy 060 Divulge 062 Violin-playing comedian 063 Price-fixing bloc 064 Spots to crash on the road 065 Physics particle 066 They may be seconded 067 Hogties 069 __ willow 070 “Now We Are Six” author 071 __ Sack 072 Extremely 073 Confrontations 074 Vanquishers of kings 075 “Designing Women” actress Annie 076 Giving an edge to 077 Large vessel 080 Collar 081 Staff note 082 Motley, as a crew 083 Options list 084 Matured 086 Ewan’s “Moulin Rouge!” co-star 089 Fill with crayons 091 Commercial charge 092 Charm 093 “I’m okay with that”

DOWN

01 Recipe amts.

02 Buddhist who has attained Nirvana 03 Reeves of “The Lake House” 04 Wave catchers?

05 Indy letters 06 Bureau division 07 Merits 08 Comic’s routines

09 __-ray Disc 010 Comparative suffix 011 Cops 012 Creator of Q and M 013 Plugs for tubes?

014 Escorts to the door 016 Infuriates 018 “That was a close one!”

024 Taiwan-based computer company 026 Monopolize 029 Group below abbots 030 Removes from the schedule 031 Affirmative votes 032 Having less coverage 033 Tigers Hall of Fame outfielder Al 034 “Shh” 035 Hat stats 036 Two-time U.S. Open champ 037 __ cuff: shoulder muscles 038 One of Fran’s puppets 039 Only NFL quarterback with more than 10,000 pass attempts 040 Keep battling 041 “Jaws” shark hunter 042 Timid 044 Junkyard dogs 046 Fitting comment?

047 Greek 049 Campus areas 050 Popular frat activity 051 Like some chards 054 Shore fliers 055 Name of eight English kings 056 Typically wet times 058 Toss about, as ideas 060 Filling fully

061 Flirtatious signals 062 Arrests 063 More than breaking even 065 Pack it in 066 Rock band 10,000 __ 067 Captain Morgan rival 068 Emotionally cold type 069 Play a trick (on) 070 Close relative 071 Passenger’s direction at the corner 072 Iranian holy city 073 Trigger rider 075 Toon skunk Le Pew 076 Anaheim team, in sportscasts 077 Frost lines?

078 Jungian principle 079 Pitched well?

081 Many a shelter resident 082 Cowboys quarterback Tony 083 Light-loving flier 085 Nursery noise 087 Business magazine 088 Monopoly token 090 __ Fáil: Irish coronation stone

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY REDNECK PERSPECTIVE

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19) “I demand unconditional love and complete freedom,” wrote Slovenian poet Tomaž Šalamun. “That is why I am terrible.” In accordance with the astrological omens, I’m offering you the chance, at least temporarily, to join Šalamun in demanding unconditional love and complete freedom. But unlike him, you must satisfy one condition: Avoid being terrible. Can you do that? I think so, although you will have to summon unprecedented amounts of emotional intelligence and collaborative ingenuity.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) You have the answers you need, but you keep sniffing around as if there were different or better answers to be had. Moreover, you’ve been offered blessings that could enable you to catalyze greater intimacy, but you’re barely taking advantage of them—apparently because you underestimate their potency. Here’s what I think: As long as you neglect the gifts you have already been granted, they won’t provide you with their full value. If you give them your rapt appreciation, they will bloom.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Edgar Rice Burroughs (1875-1950) tried to earn a living by selling pencil sharpeners, but couldn’t make it. In frustration, he turned to writing novels. Success! Among his many popular novels, 27 of them were about a fictional character named Tarzan. The actor who played Tarzan in the movies based on Burroughs’ books was Johnny Weissmuller. As a child, he suffered from polio, and rebuilt his strength by becoming a swimmer. He eventually won five Olympic gold medals. Burroughs and Weissmuller are your role models in the coming weeks, Gemini. It’s a favorable time for you to turn defeat into victory.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Artist Andy Warhol had an obsession with green underpants. In fact, that’s all he ever wore beneath his clothes.

It might be fun and productive for you to be inspired by his private ritual. Life is virtually conspiring to ripen your libido, stimulate your fertility, and expedite your growth.

So anything you do to encourage these cosmic tendencies could have an unusually dramatic impact. Donning green undies might be a good place to start. It would send a playful message to your subconscious mind that you are ready and eager to bloom.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) In the coming weeks, take special notice of the jokes and humorous situations that prompt you to laugh the loudest. They will provide important clues about the parts of your life that need liberation. What outmoded or irrelevant taboos should you consider breaking? What inhibitions are dampening your well-being? How might your conscience be overstepping its bounds and making you unnecessarily constrained? Any time you roar with spontaneous amusement, you will know you have touched a congested place in your psyche that is due for a cleansing.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) For each of the last 33 years, the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals in Los Angeles has selected a “National Hero Dog.” It’s an award given to a canine that has shown exceptional courage in helping or rescuing people. In 2015, the group departed from tradition. Its “National Hero Dog” is a female cat named Tara. Last May, she saved a four-year-old boy by scaring off a dog that had begun to attack him. I’m guessing you will soon have an experience akin to Tara’s. Maybe you’ll make a gutsy move that earns you an unexpected honor. Maybe you’ll carry out a dramatic act of compassion that’s widely appreciated. Or maybe you’ll go outside your comfort zone to pull off a noble feat that elevates your reputation.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) According to cartoon character Homer Simpson, “Trying is the first step towards failure.” I don’t agree with that comic advice. But I do think the following variant will be applicable to you in the coming weeks: “Trying *too

hard* is the first step toward failure.” So please don’t try *too hard,* Libra! Over-exertion should be taboo.

Straining and struggling would not only be unnecessary, but counterproductive. If you want to accomplish anything worthwhile, make sure that your default emotion is relaxed confidence. Have faith in the momentum generated by all the previous work you have done to arrive where you are now.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Elsie de Wolfe (1859-1950) was a pioneer in the art of interior design. She described herself as “a rebel in an ugly world.” Early in her career she vowed, “I’m going to make everything around me beautiful,” and she often did just that. In part through her influence, the dark, cluttered decor of the Victorian Era, with its bulky draperies and overly ornate furniture, gave way to rooms with brighter light, softer colors, and more inviting textures. I’d love to see you be inspired by her mission, Scorpio. It’s a good time to add extra charm, grace, and comfort to your environments.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) At the age of 36, author Franz Kafka composed a 47-page letter to his father Herman. As he described the ways that his dad’s toxic narcissism and emotional abuse had skewed his maturation process, he refrained from lashing out with histrionic anger. Instead he focused on objectively articulating the facts, recounting events from childhood and analyzing the family dynamic. In accordance with the astrological omens, I recommend that you write a letter to your own father—even if it’s filled with praise and gratitude instead of complaint. At this juncture in your life story, I think you especially need the insights that this exercise would generate. (P.S. Write the letter for your own sake, not with the hope of changing or hurting or pleasing your dad. You don’t have to give it to him.)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Shizo Kanakuri was one of Japan’s top athletes when he went to compete in the marathon race at the 1912 Stockholm Olympics. Partway through the event, fatigued by sweltering heat, bad food, and the long journey he’d made to get there, Kanakuri passed out. He recovered with the help of a local farmer, but by then the contest was over. Embarrassed by his failure, he sneaked out of Sweden and returned home. Fast forward to 1966.

Producers of a TV show tracked him down and invited him to resume what he’d started. He agreed. At the age of 74, he completed the marathon, finishing with a time of 54 years, eight months. I think it’s time to claim your own personal version of this opportunity, Capricorn. Wouldn’t you love to resolve a process that got interrupted?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) In most sporting events, there’s never any doubt about which competitor is winning. Each step of the way, the participants and spectators know who has more points or goals or runs. But one sport isn’t like that. In a boxing match, no one is aware of the score until the contest is finished—not even the boxers themselves. I think you’re in a metaphorically comparable situation. You won’t find out the final tally or ultimate decision until the “game” is complete. Given this uncertainty, I suggest that you don’t slack off even a little. Keep giving your best until the very end.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) One night as you lie sleeping in your bed, you will dream of flying through the sunny summer sky. The balmy air will be sweet to breathe. Now and then you will flap your arms like wings, but mostly you will glide effortlessly. The feeling that flows through your body will be a blend of exhilaration and ease. Anywhere you want to go, you will maneuver skillfully to get there. After a while, you will soar to a spot high above a scene that embodies a knotty problem in your waking life. As you hover and gaze down, you will get a clear intuition about how to untie the knots.

Whether or not you remember this dream, the next day you will work some practical magic that begins to shrink or dissolve the problem.

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

SATIRE

Highbrow Hog Island Public art to heighten Hoback sophistication.

BY CLYDE THORNHILL

C

arry Gervaise, director of the Greater Hog Island/ Hoback Public Art Task Force, presented conceptual drawings for a public art project during the Hog Island Council meeting last week.

“What we are proposing,” she said, “Is a grove of trees made from steel pipes with lights on the end. The pipes will evoke nature, forcing passersby to consider their place in the natural world, in the Hog Island ecosystem, in Greater Yellowstone, in the Rocky Mountain West and ultimately the planet!” She exclaimed.

Designer John Fleming, whose most recent creation included the Willow Grove pipes on West Broadway, spoke to the council. “The art piece is meant to announce the entrance to the heart of Hog Island,” he proclaimed, (as if the beer cans and bullet holes in signs need clarification). “Best of all, the display will attract cultural visitors providing millions of dollars in revenue.

The project will encourage harmonious growth, decrease stress and reduce some types of cancer, heart disease and lead to a more productive, happy and enlightened citizenry.”

Commissioner Charles Ray questioned the environmental impact of milling pipes, trucking them across the country, excavating a massive foundation, and the use of electricity. “Why not just plant a willow to evoke nature?” he asked.

“Eliminating such provincial thinking is another attribute of steel trees!” Fleming snorted.

“What about the tree cell tower on the hill?” Commissioner Forest Clint asked.

“That’s not art,” Gervaise said. “It’s a cell tower; art must be for art’s sake or it can never be a true nature evoker.”

Gervaise reminded the council that a large part of the funding will be provided by LOR Foundation.

“How much is a large part?” asked the council.

“Keeping the amount undefined will allow greater creativity.” Gervaise explained. “But for artistic visionary

purposes, just how much is the Hog Island Council prepared to invest in this worthy and soul moving project?”

According to treasurer Pervis Luther, there was 187.26 dollars saved to help Hog Island host the WWMWFC (Women’s World Mud Wrestling Federation Championship).

“That’s all!” Designer John Fleming demanded as he stomped out, forcing the council to come up with their own plan to evoke nature. Bob Thornton’s wife offered to move Bob’s 74 Chevy, the one that had been on blocks in his front yard for the past seven years, closer to the highway.

Roy Tyler’s wife suggested that her husband’s 72 Ford, which had been on blocks in his front yard for the past 12 years, would also be a good fit. Several fist fights broke out concerning passionate remarks about the relative merits and faults of Fords and Chevys. In a display of love, tolerance and acceptance, the Hog Island Council arrived at an agreement. They decided to place the Ford on the south side of the highway pointed north and south and the Chevy on the north side of the highway pointed east and west. This nature-evoking display, the council explained, represents the four sacred directions, the four elements–earth, wind, water and fire, the four foods–bacon, pork ribs, bacon burgers and biscuits, and of course, four wheel drive. PJH

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NOVEMBER 11, 2015 | 31

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