Planet JH 3.09.16

JACKSON HOLE’S ALTERNATIVE VOICE | PLANETJH.COM | MARCH 9-15, 2016

BY NATOSHA HODUSKI

From a nuclear facility to the valley’s remoteness, what factors play a role in the seismic side of Jackson Hole?

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2 | MARCH 9, 2016

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JACKSON HOLE'S ALTERNATIVE VOICE

VOLUME 14 | ISSUE 9 | MARCH 9-15, 2016

11 COVER STORY

ON SHAKY GROUND From a nuclear facility to the valley’s remoteness, what factors play a role in the seismic side of Jackson Hole?

Cover photo illustration by Cait Lee.

6 GUEST OPINION

20 GET OUT

8 THE BUZZ

22 WELL, THAT...

16 CREATIVE PEAKS

23 FOODIE FILES

18 MUSIC BOX

30 SATIRE

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March 9, 2016

By Meteorologist Jim Woodmencey

T

his is the last full week of the winter season, and it may be tempting to think that after a few 50-degree days, like we had this past weekend, that perhaps spring has already arrived. Fifty is about 10 degrees warmer than what is considered normal for a high temperature this week, but is by no means record-breaking warmth in Jackson. March has a history of going back and forth, from one extreme to the other, from spring back to winter, and then back to spring-like weather.

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Average low temperatures this second week in March in Jackson normally would be hovering somewhere in the mid-teens. The record low temperature this week however is considerably colder than that norm, at 28-degrees below zero. That record was set back on March 11th, 1969 and was part of an exceptionally cold mid-March. Other record cold days also occurred on March 9th & 10th, with 17-degrees below and 23-degrees below zero on those days in 1969.

As cold as it was during that March of 1969, it was just as impressively hot in mid-March of 1934. On March 14th, 1934 the afternoon high temperature in town was 63-degrees.

And the second week in March 1934 still holds high temperature records for March 13th, 14th, and 15th of 61, 63, and 62 degrees, respectively. The hottest it has been since then is a high of 60-degrees on March 12th, 2007.

NORMAL HIGH NORMAL LOW RECORD HIGH IN 1934 RECORD LOW IN 1966

40 15 63 -32

THIS MONTH AVERAGE PRECIPITATION: 1.23 inches RECORD PRECIPITATION: 4.2 inches (1995) AVERAGE SNOWFALL: 11 inches RECORD SNOWFALL: 33 inches (1938)

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MARCH 9, 2016 | 3

Jim has been forecasting the weather here for more than 20 years. You can find more Jackson Hole Weather information at www.mountainweather.com

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4 | MARCH 9, 2016

FROM OUR READERS Embrace your election grief As we navigate the emotional landscape of the current political climate one may wonder if the five stages of grief apply. All signs point to yes—we are suffering a certain kind of death and are now grieving. There is nothing new about what our country is going through despite the extreme epidemic of self-importance that has plagued Anglo-Saxons since the dawn of, well, us. The foolish many have always gleefully played rube to the crafty few, ours is an endemic case of Stockholm Syndrome. This sadly plants most of us at some stage of the grief chart, a set of responses to heartbreak that has been locked down over the years by doctors far smarter than me. The interesting thing about this system is that each stage has its own inherent power when sorting out the monstrous shit show that is election year. Let’s go through it together, shall we? Perhaps we can come out the other side better, happier people. Perhaps.

1. Denial. Remember when Trump* was a just silly orangutan you laughed at, jabbing an elbow into the ribs of the person next to you at the bar and saying, “No fucking way, hehehaha,” all while cooing like smug little children sure that the majority would never in a million years let that jester anywhere near the oval office? Remember that time? Yeah, me too.

If you are still here (in denial), that means you’ve been in Tibet eating rancid yack meat or hibernating with the grizzlies, then good on ya. You are one lucky soul. Enjoy this time, eat, drink and be merry because believe me, winter is coming and with it, the Nothing**. The power of denial is sweet dreams and the comfort that ignorance provides. Stay here as long as you can because next up we have…

2. Anger. This one is tricky because it keeps cycling back in to the emotional playing field over and over. I’ve come to realize that it is juxtaposed into everything that we feel, maybe just to keep us honest. Anger is raw, real and powerful, it’s galvanizing and full of pep, it’s the force that keeps a crowd thrusting signs in the air while mace flies and riot cops march.

It is an important stage and its weight shouldn’t be underestimated. If you are here (even if you are not, listen closely because you will be again), use the rage wisely. Do not direct it at the easy adversary. Why are we trying to find the people that stand with us and to ferret out those that don’t? Just so we can self righteously unfriend them with religious fervor? Do your best to ignore the “opposition” at this point, now is the time to gather your compatriots and focus on organization, strength is in the numbers. This is also the time to do your homework, arm yourself to the teeth with truth, all the many sides of it.

Once the anger dies down you will need a leg to stand on; facts will help.

3. Bargaining. And just like that, all of the fire and brimstone conviction is replaced with a weary sense of how insane things really are. All you want now is to understand what on God’s green earth is happening. Now it’s time to bargain— stage three of an increasingly complex puzzle. This can manifest in many ways, though typically it’s where one attempts to negotiate a better outcome. Many well known politicians have utilized the “you don’t change horses mid stream” logic as a way to keep the public calm while the horse slowly sinks into the mire. To cut and run is supposed to be a dangerous course of action and in certain cases this is certainly possible. However, let’s be honest here, it’s only truly detrimental when you are on an actual horse, in an actual stream and are attempting to mount a new horse whilst still navigating said stream. I say go ahead and bargain, we have a better shot at meeting in the middle if we are willing to explore what the middle looks like, from a smarter horse maybe.

4. Depression. Sadly most of America is here, the fourth stage of grief. The bulk of our people have been here for many years, for an infinite array of reasons. But believe me, we do not have to be here. This one we can skip. This is a place of powerlessness and doesn’t serve anyone. From this place we make bad decisions, we lock in to belief systems that do nothing to define the heart of us: racism, classism, fear mongering and hate. Only a truly lost people can see the good in building a wall between countries. Do we really want to elect a depressed, community dividing government? Isn’t that the pure definition of “un-American?” On this I hope that we can all agree. Depression paints everything grey and this country was founded on the brilliance of color and vibrant personal freedoms, not bland, mindless conformity. So I say, let us collectively admit that depression, however natural, is not a thing for us as a nation to give in to. Extend a hand to someone that is in this sad place and pull them out, even if they bleed blue and you see red. Especially if this is the case.

5. Acceptance. Finally, we will find ourselves here. I admit that I am not there yet; you probably aren’t either, so here’s what I imagine it to look like. Let me set the stage: I have come to understand why anyone would back a jackass like Trump. I see that they feel unheard by a government of talkers that don’t seem to care that life is a struggle for many. They are looking for answers to big questions and aren’t getting any real help.

The lottery of life gave me a higher education, a diverse community and a strong social network, a life that many won’t ever know. This is why we don’t always see eye to eye. I will have to approach them with kindness and compassion if I expect them to listen to my ideas. I accept that we are different, that our stories are longer and deeper than the corrupt forces that

SNOW PACK REPORT

want to divide us. I accept that though we may have different values, we are all looking for the same things—life, liberty and the right to pursue happiness. I accept that they are we and we are them. I hope to reach acceptance soon. Anger is really starting to suck. *Feel free to replace this name with Obama or Hillary, or whatever unholy force is keeping you up at night. **You can thank me later for this ultra timely reference to The Neverending Story.

-Josi Stephens Jackson

66 buses per day

We are outraged by the ridiculously poor planning that is sending 66, 25-passenger, Town Shuttle buses each day through the heart of our quiet North Rancher Street Town Periphery neighborhood. This intense level of urban bus traffic continues to damage the character of our neighborhood while only serving on average 1.1 passengers per bus. For all intents and purposes these are giant single occupancy vehicles relentlessly roaring up and down our street.

Our neighborhood is the only Town Periphery neighborhood that is bisected by START. Town Periphery is identified by the Comprehensive Plan as the least intensive character district in town. We do not have a START bus stop in our neighborhood, nor does the Comp plan envision START service in our neighborhood. The stops that are served by all these buses are in the Rancher/Hansen Residential Core district, which is a much more intense character district and calls for START service. START has a responsibility to keep the impacts of its buses contained in the character districts that the buses are designed to serve. That could easily be accomplished without altering service in any way. Why do START and our elected officials continue to stonewall our concerns and ram all these buses down our throats?

In addition to the long overdue removal of North Rancher Street from the routing of START buses, START needs to immediately implement a more efficient plan to serve the stops that are east of Redmond Street. Smaller vehicles that are scheduled only during times of peak demand will capture more riders per bus without the appalling inefficiency and disruption of the current system.

We are asking START, Jackson Town Council and the Teton County Commissioners to please stop damaging the character of our neighborhood, and to please stop ignoring the guidance of their own Comprehensive Plan.

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JUST MISSING THE MARK

Those who’ve been chasing storms this season know that this past weekend the Sierras received a substantial amount of snowfall, about 2 feet, and everyone directly south of us enjoyed around a foot of new snow. So where is our refill?

It was not as substantial, but Grand Targhee and JHMR both reported about 6 inches of fresh over the weekend. With rising temperatures and major storms missing us this El Nino season, I think we are fortunate to get anything going into March.

Storm strength is weakening for us as we near the official first day of spring. Local meteoroligist Jim Woodmency is predicting a couple inches between now and Thursday. With those predictions being at 10,000 feet, I am really hoping higher elevations see a stronger showing.

I had the rare fortune of finding partners who were getting into the north part of GTNP over the past weekend. Topping out at about 11,300 feet, we found what you would expect—south and east aspects were creamy, corn skiing by mid-day, while

in contrast, the north and west aspects held soft snow reminiscent of January. While protected north faces held snow the best, with every ski cut and turn, we saw plenty of slough slide thanks to the compacted, hard base surface we have. Some friends skiing a north, low elevation tree-sheltered slope on Sunday reported, “It was fun. Kind of mangy out there.”

For this next week, depending on what you are skiing you will find different dangers. Any slope below 9,500 feet will be fairly universal with wet slide possibilities. Any slope above 9,500 feet on the south and east aspects will be the same. With that in mind, start early and end early but not too early, otherwise you will miss your window for corn turns. The north and west aspects above 9,500 feet could still be holding powder if you get creative, but will have potential to slide with slough that can carry a skier/rider into terrain traps. Be careful of what is below you as you travel through this terrain.

Stay safe friends and pray for snow. – Steve Weiss

-Dean and Patsy Erickson, Christi Biolchini Yannelli and Alan Yannelli East Jackson

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GUEST OPINION Mainstream Money Myths A small group of elite players continue to paint a false narrative of American economics.

BY PETE MULDOON

W

hen you advocate, as I do, for government to raise taxes and spend money on things like housing or schools or essential public services or better regulation, you get a lot of negative feedback from a very vocal minority.

These mostly take the form of arguments based on assumptions from mainstream economic theory; assumptions like “taxes are bad” or “the free market knows best.”

Mainstream economic theory has been dominant at all levels of government and academia for the past 30 to 40 years.

Because there is very little dissent among elite opinion, many voters have been led to believe that it is a science. But it is not.

Real scientists use experiments to test provable theories based on hypotheses. Economists construct models based on grossly simplified imagined realities, and then try to pass off their results as science. Don’t believe me? Consider the Efficient Market Hypothesis (EMH).

EMH attempted to model the real economy, but because that was too hard, it’s creator, Eugene Fama, decided to simplify by making some assumptions. In his model, he assumes that all actors have perfect and complete information of the past, present and future, and assumes that they can process it perfectly—basically a God computer. All actors are also completely rational and have perfectly aligned incentives. Because of this, prices reflect all public and private information.

None of these assumptions are even remotely realistic of course, and EMH has taken a lot of the blame for the financial crisis of the late 2000s. Yet Fama not only won a Nobel prize for this theory, he is still employed by the University of Chicago as a respected economist.

How about the demand curve? The downward sloping demand curve is taught as gospel in every Econ 101 class ever offered, and the law of supply and and demand is fundamental to most mainstream economic theory. Yet it literally falls apart when it models more than one individual. In order for it to work, its creators assume that all consumers are perfectly identical, or they assume that there is a “benevolent central authority that redistributes wealth in order to maximize social welfare.” (Mas-Colell, Microeconomic Theory) Does this sound remotely realistic?

Yet theories of market equilibrium, which free market proponents rely on, are founded on these assumptions.

And these are the kinds of assumptions economists make in order to make their models work. They assume things that don’t exist, and ignore things that are inconvenient. Most macro-economic theory, for example, completely ignores the role of banks and money. That sounds unbelievable, yet it’s true. Does that sound like a science to you?

It isn’t. And it should call into question some other assumptions. Mainstream economists constantly talk about government debt and the deficit, as though the U.S. is in danger of going into bankruptcy.

But a government like ours, with debt denominated in its own sovereign currency, can literally never default unless it chooses to. When pressed, economists will admit that is the case, but will then talk about hyperinflation, a ludicrous concept for a country in a deflationary period, and something that has only happened in countries experiencing large external shocks. (Germany in the 1920s, for example, or Russia after the collapse of the Soviet Union.)

The political establishment in the U.S. knows the severe limitations of mainstream economics, but ignores them when it’s useful. When a policy that helps average Americans is proposed (universal health care, for example), they are united in their demand that we listen to the economists who tell us we have to balance the budget first. Yet when a policy is good for them (the Iraq War, or $1.5 trillion for a useless fighter plane), you won’t hear a peep.

How bad is current economic theory? Economists completely missed the great financial crisis of 2008, and were still in denial even as it was happening. It didn’t fit their models,

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so they didn’t believe it was possible, even though their models were based on assumptions of reality that have never existed at any time or place in the history of the world.

This would be like the entire astronomy profession missing an asteroid the size of the sun entering the solar system and heading directly for Earth. The only difference is that the astronomers who failed to predict it would never work again, while economists who miss similar events—Alan Greenspan, for example—get to keep running the Federal Reserve.

Why is all of this important? Well, a lot of people base their opposition to policies, that would evidently help them, on their belief in economic theories that are demonstrably false.

They’re acting against their own self-interest (something that, ironically, EMH considers impossible) because of it.

And getting people to vote against their own self-interest through beliefs in complex but discredited economic theories is a dream come true for elites, who are able to sell people on policies that hurt them terribly, like NAFTA and cutting taxes for the rich.

Locally, people who believe in these theories (I think of them more as a religion) are often morally opposed to things like taxes, minimum wages or regulations of any kind. They mean well, but they base their beliefs in theories that can’t withstand any real scientific scrutiny and have zero predictive power. That’s not science.

It’s important to note that this is not a conspiracy. Most economists probably believe they practice science with their intentionally complex models; models that leave the vast majority of voters few options but to trust them. The result?

Economists find themselves in the role of high priests of the economy, and the rest of us at their mercy.

“It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system,” Henry Ford once said, “for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning.”

The same can be said for economics. PJH

“This would be like the entire astronomy profession missing an asteroid the size of the sun heading directly for Earth.”

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8 | MARCH 9, 2016

THE BUZZ Grizzly Warfare…

Again Fears and fights sure to ensue as bruins return to state management.

BY JAKE NICHOLS

T

he U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service announced earlier this week what most expected was coming: grizzly bears no longer need the protections of the Endangered Species Act. Delisting details are still to be hammered out but without federal protection, management of the fearsome bruin will be returned to individual Western states where trophy hunting will be a likely result.

Federal wildlife officials say the bear has made an astounding recovery—the official count is 717 but many believe the number to be around 1,000—from dismally low numbers 40 years ago. Population growth has stabilized and stagnated since 2008. Combined with increased bear mortality and a new finding showing that the griz has plenty to eat, USFWS officials are ready to declare the bear fully recovered.

Opponents are fighting back in much the same way they did a decade ago when delisting was delayed by lawsuits.

Environmental groups and wildlife advocates question the guesstimated 1,000 count and prefer a wait-and-see approach.

They also point to climate change affecting habitat and a decline in two of the bear’s major food sources: whitebark pine nuts and native cutthroat trout. But the biggest resistance is the fear that states like Wyoming, Idaho, and Montana have a bloodthirsty track record of exterminating predators.

Population explanation “We think delisting is premature,” said Roger Hayden, managing director of Wyoming Wildlife Advocates. “A lot of people would disagree with that. But I don’t think we know [the true count]. We are just guesstimating. I realize we’ve met the metrics of 500, but those were set 40 years ago. The real question is, when is it OK to do this and when are we out of the woods and safe?”

Sylvia Fallon is the Director of the Wildlife Conservation Project with Natural Resources Defense Council. The senior scientist says significant questions remain concerning the actual size of the grizzly population. “A study was published in 2013 that questioned the accuracy of the methodology used to count the population,” she said. “Although the federal scientists dispute these findings, they do acknowledge limitations to their counting methodology, which result in a wide range of possible population estimates varying from about 600 to 800 bears. A different methodology with other limitations puts the estimate at over 1,000 bears right now.”

But Fallon also conceded that population trends have remained stagnant since 2003 and were, by some estimates, in decline. Opponents of delisting claim this is reason to hold off on removing the grizzly from federal protection. Federal authorities say this is precise evidence the species has recovered: it is currently at max carrying capacity.

Hayden distrusts government conclusions, believing federal agencies have worked toward a pre-conceived goal rather than let the data provide the evidence. “The march to delist is politically driven,” he said. “USFWS is influencing the scientists that work for the government.”

Dr. David Mattson is a research wildlife biologist with the U.S. Geological Survey. He has long advocated that, while roughly 500 bears are needed to ensure healthy genetic diversity, he would prefer to see more like 5,000.

“The thousand bear estimate has been bandied about lately,” Mattson said. “I’m kind of mystified when people say we’ve got 1,000 bears as if that was a lot. That’s about the population of people in Dubois. Put that number into context. We’ve got

400,000 cows in the counties that are in the grizzly’s ecosystem, and at least that many people.”

Like Hayden, Mattson also stresses the importance of connectivity. The gene pool is bolstered when bears have the freedom to roam and breed. But since the dramatic recovery of the grizzly, there still remains an isolated segment of bear population in Yellowstone that has resulted in a subspecies nearly all its own, and that troubles wildlife biologists.

‘Bearly’ making a living?

The sticking point for delisting has been the grizzly’s diet.

It was the primary impetus in putting the grizzly bear back on the Endangered list in 2009 after feds pushed for removal.

The decline in whitebark pine has been well documented. The nuts from the tree are high in fat, which the bear, craves especially headed into hibernation. It is a main staple in the diet of regional grizzly bears. A warming climate has also slashed cutthroat trout populations as that species struggles to survive in rivers and streams that are becoming too hot for their liking.

The Interagency Grizzly Bear Study Team (IGBST) was specifically tasked with analyzing the diet of the griz and whether changing climate conditions and habitat resources were having an adverse affect on sustainability. After six years, the results are in, says team leader Frank van Manen. The griz is doing fine.

“What we found was something a lot of us didn’t anticipate,” van Manen admitted. “[Grizzlies] are incredibly adaptable. They have what we refer to as ‘ecological plasticity.’ They take advantage of a variety of food sources. In fact, we’ve identified 266 distinct sources of food the species takes advantage of. That’s a remarkable range.”

Hayden warns not all food sources are equal. “There is not a lot of food out there that has the high quality calories of the whitebark pine,” he said. “I think the interagency team is overly optimistic about how adaptive the bear is.”

But van Manen counters that grizzlies are making a decent living on other foods, and that emphasis on whitebark pine in the bear’s diet has been blown out of proportion. Their findings revealed a third of grizzlies in the GYE had no access to pine nuts and didn’t eat them.

“Maybe we overemphasized the value of whitebark pine.

Grizzlies use whitebark pine less selectively and for a shorter duration than they did 15 years ago,” he said. “They are the ultimate omnivores. They are not obligated carnivores like wolves and lions that cannot make a living on anything other than meat. It’s true, they are eating more animal matter. What is encouraging is their body mass and weight hasn’t changed in the last 15 or 20 years over the decline of whitebark pine.

The conclusion is bears have shown they are pretty adaptable.”

Conflict resolution Grizzlies in the 22,500 square miles encompassing the Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem (GYE) have turned to alternate food sources once pine nuts and fish dried up. In general, they have become more meat eaters. And that’s been a problem.

Grizzly predation on elk and moose calves has had a dramatic impact on ungulate numbers.

Hunters, in particular, blame the wolf and griz for what they perceive as dramatic reductions in moose and elk populations. Some look forward to being able to put the bruin in their gun sights.

“Trophy hunting would be a huge political mistake for the state. We would be internationally scorned,” Hayden said, alluding to the Internet uproar when Cecil the African lion was shot and killed. “And financially it would be bad for the state. I was a tour guide for five years. I can’t tell you how many people come here to see bears in the wild. Grizzly bears are worth far more to the state alive than they are dead.”

Tweaking regulation for a predator at the top of the food chain can have unintended consequences. Trophic cascade refers to the trickle-down effect caused by an increase or decrease in primary predators. Wildlife advocates insist the griz, along with the wolf, is playing a vital role in the ecosystem.

“Bears and wolves will self-regulate their population, and

it looks to me like bears have self-regulated,” Hayden said.

“We’ve got an overabundance of elk right now because we feed them. If we have a good and healthy population of predators on the landscape they will balance prey population. That, in turn, will help to make sure vegetation isn’t chewed down. A dynamic equilibrium is what we advocate for.”

Hunting grizzly bears could potentially alter their behavior toward humans. A vast majority of griz-human conflicts do not result in human deaths chiefly because griz are content in simply subduing a perceived threat. So could shooting at them piss them off?

“I don’t think so,” van Manen said. “Bears might become more wary of humans, but their ability to learn is speculative.

The incidents we currently see are inherent in their natural response to situations like competition conflict—bears, the way they’ve evolved, react aggressively. Any change in their behavior [due to hunting] would probably go the other way with them being less aggressive.”

Hungry bears also don’t do a very good job of differentiating between wild prey and domestic cattle and sheep. The resulting rise in urban interface conflicts and grizzly mortality is either evidence of a bear population that has grown to overpopulation, or, as some say, it’s a sign that bears are being starved out of more remote areas of their habitat.

Proponents of delisting the griz include myriad ranchers who welcome the opportunity to take matters into their own hands when their livestock is threatened by bears. On the other side, Mattson believes bears and bovine can peacefully coexist. He pointed to one Montana study called the Blackfoot Challenge that he says reduced bruin-cattle conflicts to “nearly nil.”

Whether forced from their habitat or simply populating new area by sheer number, grizzlies are getting around.

Mattson says evidentiary data shows grizzlies have expanded their range 40 percent since 2002.

Chris Servheen, a three-decade veteran grizzly bear recovery coordinator with USFWS, told National Geographic, “We are now seeing grizzly bears in places I never imagined them being 35 years ago.”

But bears may be bumping into people. IGBST counted 59 grizzly mortalities last year. That’s more than twice the number of bear deaths in either 2013 or 2014. Conflicts with hunters, cattlemen and cars are on the rise and state wildlife managers say they are running out of places to relocate problem bears.

Indeed, the recovery has been a remarkable success story.

Estimates peg the low point at less than 140 bears back in the 1970s when beggarly bruins became a roadside attraction and nuisance in Yellowstone National Park. When the Endangered Species Act was passed by President Richard Nixon in 1973, the grizzly jumped on that bandwagon two years later.

Future forecast: Bear market?

Details of how a handoff from DC to individual states for management of the grizzly bear are yet to emerge. A letter obtained by WyoFile late last year indicated a preliminary plan is in the works. States have reportedly agreed to a 19,279-square-mile monitoring area that includes Yellowstone, where the killing of bears will be based on managing for a total of 674. That would mean hunting tags could be issued for 7.6 percent of adult females and 15 percent of adult males. The agreement also called for an automatic ceasefire when population numbers dipped below 600.

Groups like Earthjustice, the Sierra Club, and Hayden’s organization are bristling for another fight. They are joined by 41 Native American tribes from Canada to Mexico that have passed legal resolutions opposing delisting and trophy hunting of grizzly bears.

Hayden is not alone in feeling queasy about how certain states have handled predators in the past. “I’m concerned considering the way Idaho and Wyoming have managed wolves,” he said. “Wyoming is really an anti-predator state and Idaho is as well. I would not like to see them aggressively manage bears like they manage wolves.” PJH

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ride. row. train.

DUD e , WHere’s my Car? The Town of Jackson’s overnight parking ban has gone into effect.

SO, if you want to void all kinds of hassles, listen up!

Through April 15th, between 3:00am & 7:00am,

Additionally, we would like to remind people: Town residents are responsible for keeping sidewalks shoveled.

• The TOJ assists with snow removal in the downtown core and along Broadway.

• Residents should not put their garbage cans out the night before, but rather after 7:00am on garbage days.

• Please keep trash cans, cars, and other obstacles out of the streets and off of the curbs.

This saves your property and makes the streets more clear of drifts and snow.

• Residents are also encouraged to help keep fire hydrants clear of snow.

BROUGHT TO YOU

BY THE FRIENDLY FOLKS AT THE TOWN OF JACKSON

MARCH 9, 2016 | 9

it is illegal to park overnight on Jackson streets, including public parking lots, regardless of weather (rain or shine, snow or bikini). Crews begin plowing at 3am. Parked cars on town streets make the job of keeping roads clear of snow more difficult.

Consequently, cars left on town streets between 3am & 7am will be ticketed and may be towed by Jackson police. To retrieve your car, contact Ron’s Towing at 733-8697, 1190 S. Hwy 89. Overnight parking is allowed in the public parking structure at W. Simpson Ave. and S. Millward St. but not on other town parking lots.

SHOVELING REQUIREMENTS

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

PARKING RESTRICTIONS

riderowtrain.com | Movie Works Plaza | 307.413.0441 | *Sale through 3/31

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

10 | MARCH 9, 2016

The Square Wheel of Justice

NEWS OF THE

WEIRD

In February, New York’s highest court finally said “enough” to the seemingly endless delays on a multimillion-dollar judgment for negligence that occurred 23 years ago. Linda Nash had sued, among others, the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey for injuries she suffered when trapped in an underground parking garage during the World Trade Center terrorist act. (No, not the one in 2001, but the bombing eight years before that, which killed six and wounded more than 1,000). Nash was 49 that day and 72 now, and after winning a $5.4 million jury verdict in 2005, endured 10 more years of appeals. In its final, unsuccessful motion in the case, the Port Authority said it had spotted a technicality and that Nash should start over.

The public meeting agendas and minutes for the Board of County Commissioners and Planning Commission can also be found in the Public Notices section of the JH News and Guide.

According to a former spy for the Soviet Union, dictator Josef Stalin so distrusted his Communist China counterpart Mao Zedong during the 1940s that when Mao visited the USSR, Soviet engineers arranged to capture his bowel movements so that Stalin’s scientists could examine them chemically to form a psychological profile. Spy Igor Atamanenko found evidence that other world leaders received similar treatment. Among the indicators: High levels of the amino acid tryptophan signaled the person was calm and approachable, and lack of potassium portended nervousness and insomnia.)

Latest Religious Messages

Uselessness of the Miranda Warning

n Local governments in Taiwan’s Southwest Coast National Scenic Area in Chiayi province recently put the finishing touches on a 55-foot-high “church” in the form of a shoe made from more than 300 glass panels (and costing the equivalent of about $680,000). According to a BBC News dispatch, no religious services will be held there; rather, the church will be a destination for weddings and feature other events tailored for glass-slipper-obsessed females. n Prosecutors in Spain finally filed charges this year against three women for a May 2014 protest that was apparently aimed at religious intolerance of homosexuality, and are asking that the charges against the women be labeled anti-Catholic “hate” crimes. One judge particularly noted the anti-Catholic props—rosary beads, prayer lace, canonical hoods and a 6-foot-high plastic vulva constructed to resemble the well-known representation of the Virgin Mary. In January, judges called police to court to help identify the women in videos of the protest.

Unclear on the Concept

TetonWyo.org

Bright Ideas

Retired engineer Harry Littlewood, 68, watching workers tear down outdated public housing in Stockport, England, recently, rushed over to ask the local Stockport Council about recovering a “souvenir” since the teardowns included his residence growing up. The council agreed, and Littlewood was awarded the toilet he had used as a boy. “I never thought I’d see it again,” he mused.

He said he would probably turn it into a planter.

Evangelicals Applaud Sexual Predator: The Jacksonville (Florida) City Council was addressing a proposed amendment to its Human Rights Ordinance (one that would specifically protect gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders) in January when Roy Bay, 56, stood during the comment period and insisted that those kinds of lifestyle protections are what led him on a 20-year history of molesting one little boy after another. Gasps in the audience turned into cheers, however, when he reported that he had abandoned his bad self after becoming a “born-again child of God,” and realizing that it was not “acceptable” to assault kids even though he was raised in such an environment himself. (Conveniently, the crimes are not prosecutable because of the statute of limitations. Fact-checkers, including FloridaPolitics.com, are still investigating Bay’s claims.)

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per and challenging the weakness of Brown’s “diversity” policies (among other targets).

n Williams Lake, British Columbia, has the most violent crime per capita for its size (pop. 10,800) of any town in Canada, and in February the city council unanimously passed a dramatic action plan: to inject “high risk” criminals with GPS tracking devices. The program was immediately denounced by privacy advocates, but that challenge is almost beside the point—since injectable GPS tracking does not even exist. (Councilors likely confused implantable microchips, which contain data but do not track, with GPS transponders, which track but only via sight-line contact with a satellite.)

The Continuing Crisis

For all MEETING AGENDAS AND MINUTES WEEKLY CALENDAR JOB OPENINGS SOLICITATIONS FOR BIDS PUBLIC NOTICES AND OTHER VALUABLE INFORMATION

By CHUCK SHEPHERD

Several students at the Ivy League’s Brown University complained (quoted in a February story in the student newspaper) that classroom work (ostensibly what Brown charges $50,000 a year in tuition for) was increasingly a burden, distracting them from their more important calling: organizing and protesting against various “injustices” on campus. Students were underperforming academically (and suffering health problems and anxiety issues) because, said the students, Brown still expects them to complete course requirements even though they are busy denouncing racist columns in the student newspa-

The three young men charged so far in the Feb. 17 murder in a South Carolina bowling alley made their first post-crime courtroom appearances memorable ones.

According to a WYFF-TV (Greenville, S.C.) report, Albert Taylor, 22 (and labeled as the shooter by police), seemed indifferent to the charges, but questioned the judge about courtroom cameras, appearing preoccupied. As he was being ushered out, he turned to address the camera and said, “What’s up, y’all? You can follow me on Twitter, follow me on Instagram, Snapchat.” n Alex Smith, 38, asked a sheriff’s deputy in Limestone County, Ala., at 3 a.m. on Feb. 19 for a “courtesy ride” to a nearby Wal-Mart, and the deputy agreed, but following procedure, said he’d have to search Smith before letting him into the patrol car, and according to the subsequent arrest report, Smith, needing the ride, consented. The deputy then turned up a veritable drug supply store in Smith’s pockets, his backpack and his duffel bags: drugs (meth, marijuana and black tar heroin), two syringes, a drug cooking spoon, two marijuana pipes, a meth smoking pipe and a supply of baggies of the type frequently used for drugs. Smith was charged with drug possession and trafficking.

Perspective

Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen (who left the company early, and, like Bill Gates, became known for his philanthropy, which has been directed toward conservation projects including coral reef restorations) is the owner of the 300-foot yacht whose anchor in January accidentally crushed 14,000 square feet (about 80 percent) of the Cayman Islands’ precious West Bay coral reef. Harm to the islands’ ecosystem, world-famous for its diversity, will not quickly be repaired, said officials. The MV Tatoosh’s business in the area was not reported, but Allen was not aboard. Cayman Islands is a popular Caribbean vacation and diving spot (and, of course, tax haven).

The Aristocrats!

Australian Neville Sharp brought his “A” game to a pub in the Darwin suburb of Humpty Doo in February and, in a Guinness World Record attempt, expelled a 110.6-decibel belch (which, if certified by Guinness book officials, beats the old record of 109.9 by a gentleman in the U.K.). Sharp gives all credit to his sister for teaching him, as a child, proper belching technique.

Thanks This Week to Kathryn Wood and to the News of the Weird Board Editorial Advisors.

BY NATOSHA HODUSKI

@NATOSHAHODUSKI

From a nuclear facility to the valley’s remoteness, what factors play a role in the seismic side of Jackson Hole?

I

A CAUTIONARY TALE FROM JAPAN

MARCH 9, 2016 | 11

Fukushima is a real life example of a worst possible earthquake scenario. In 2011, off the coast of Japan, the Tohoku earthquake (magnitude 9.0) set off a tsunami with waves that reached 188 feet. The earthquake itself is reported to have shifted the entire island of Honshu eight feet to the east. Upon impact, the second worst nuclear accident in history took place. By the time the tsunami reached the Fukushima I Nuclear Power Plant, the waters were nearly 50 feet high, breaching the plant’s 19-foot sea wall with ease. The waters poured into the facility’s basement, which disabled the backup diesel generators.

Without generators to cool the reactors, three of them began to overheat, eventually

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

daho Falls, Idaho – The pale blue glow of tritium pulsed beneath me. I was captivated by the radioactive chemical’s cobalt hue, spearing the dark waters 20 feet below. As I took a step closer, my guide at the Idaho National Laboratory, Don Miley, put his hand out. “If you fall in, someone’s going to get to know you real well,” he said. “We’re talking nooks and crannies.”

I eyed the warning line barring me from the waters. The only people who cross that barrier are people in protective clothing, wearing elastic gloves that will eventually become soft nuclear waste. In the next room, the test reactor was vibrating, a reminder that we were in the heart of one of the most advanced nuclear facilities in the United States. This water causeway is where the lab’s orphan “hot waste” cools while INL workers figure out what to do with it.

With the 2011 cataclysmic meltdown at Japan’s Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant— triggered by the Tohoku earthquake—still in cleanup mode, and Jackson Hole downwind of INL, the likelihood of a big earthquake in the area had compelled me to explore INL’s facility.

My recent visit there was interesting timing.

While the vast majority of earthquakes in the valley barely register on the Richter Scale, on February 26 a magnitude 4.0 earthquake shook the Gros Ventre Range about 18 miles east of Jackson. It was a reminder that Jackson is hemmed in by seismically active mountain ranges.

Indeed, the Greater Yellowstone Region is one of the most seismically active areas in the country. Earthquakes here happen much more frequently than the vast majority of Jacksonites suspect. The U.S. Geological Service routinely records from 1,000 to 3,000 quakes a year in Yellowstone National Park. In disaster scenarios mocked up by USGS, myriad faults could potentially cause damage to Jackson, from the Teton Fault—at the base of the Teton Mountain Range—to the Upper Yellowstone Valley Fault System, Hoback Fault, Greys River Fault System, Grand Valley Fault System, East Mount Sheridan Fault System and Eagle Bay Fault System.

So what would Jackson look like in the wake of a major natural disaster? How would the valley’s remoteness and proximity to a nuclear plant play a role? And just how prepared is Jackson for the big one?

N

uclear watchdog organization Snake River Alliance has been opposed to Idaho National Laboratory since the alliance’s inception in 1979. SRA nuclear program director Beatrice Brailsford says she is less concerned about a major natural disaster like an earthquake and more concerned about the materials INL handles, such as its more than 900,000 gallons of nuclear waste water buried under its facility.

“That’s the real problem as I see it: what are we going to do with all of this? We’ve got all sorts of nuclear material that can escape into the environment,” she said. “It has been released into the soil, the groundwater, and the air, and that happens almost routinely. We don’t need a dramatic event for nuclear material to be dangerous.”

INL spans 290 square miles over the Snake River Aquifer that supplies water to nearly 300,000 Idahoans and waters crops that feed people across the country. Until the late ‘80s, INL could legally pump highly diluted radioactive wastewater into this central aquifer, Brailsford said.

INL’s Miley, however, claims this water was safe. By the time the wastewater reached a consumer, he said the radioactive water was so diluted it was in a concentration less than what is found in nature.

Dr. Kemal Pasamehmetoglu is the associate lab director of nuclear science and technology at INL. Pasamehmetoglu insists that the current barons of the energy industry pose just as serious a threat to the environment and to human life. Oil spills, noxious chemicals, groundwater contamination, and pollution are all par for the course when it comes to oil, natural gas, and coal. However, as the world reconciles itself to the fact that these energy sources are exacerbating climate change and polluting the globe, the demand for energy continues to spike. Pasamehmetoglu asserts that if the aim is to produce clean energy, nuclear energy is a strong contender for the way of the future.

completely melting down and releasing approximately 940 Petabecquerel (PBq) of radiation (about a tenth of Chernobyl).

The International Nuclear Events Scale rated both accidents a 7 (highest level: major accident) due to the massive radiation released.

An estimated 32 million people were exposed to radiation, and eventually a mass evacuation was set in motion, displacing approximately 400,000 people. There are still some 250,000 displaced people to this day.

Five years later, Fukushima remains an environmental quagmire. Officials at the facility have yet to find a permanent solution for cooling the three melted reactor cores. According to the American Association for the Advancement of Science, “Cooling water is continuously poured over the melted cores of units 1, 2, and 3 to keep the fuel from overheating and melting again. The water drains into building basements, where it mixes with groundwater. To reduce the amount of contaminated water seeping into the ocean, TEPCO (Tokyo Electric Power Company) collects and stores it in 10-meter-tall steel tanks.”

Fukushima plant manager Akira Ono recently described Fukushima as “stable.”

“In the last five years, radiation levels have been reduced substantially,” he told The Washington Post. But stable does not necessarily mean under control.

The process might be well-rehearsed after five years of practice, but the practices themselves are still detrimental as the question of storing radioactive water becomes more serious. TEPCO estimates it will need to provide storage for an additional 60,000 tons of water throughout 2016 to keep the reactors cool.

According to the Japan Times, TEPCO is working on new research technology to cleanse the radioactive water. Tritium is the key isotope that needs to be removed in order to make the water safe.

At the turn of last year, TEPCO released its first batch of cleansed nuclear water into the Pacific Ocean. But officials there are hesitant to release the 680,000 tons of still highly radioactive liquid waste initially used to cool the failing reactors.

Peter Wynn Kirby is a nuclear and environmental specialist at the University of Oxford. In his opinion, Japan has barely even begun to address the radiation contamination problem Fukushima has caused. Kirby wrote in The New York Times this week, “Japan’s ‘decontamination’ plan for Fukushima is so fiendishly complicated that its goals cannot possibly be met within the promised 30 years. And that’s only to talk about the waste that has been collected.”

Kirby described the current waste management policy as a game of “Pass the Parcel,” only that parcel is millions of tons of nuclear waste, and it is being passed from short term holding facility to short term holding facility. Isolation efforts have been nigh on inconsequential in the grand scheme of things with zero industry put toward long term storage.

Without a properly constructed storage and disposal plan (let alone storage facility), Japan will continue to sit on a hotbed of carcinogenic and mutagenic substances with no other strategy in place than waiting out the naturallyoccurring half-life decomposition of radioactive substances.

FROM EAST TO WEST

The Idaho National Laboratory is arguably nestled in a much safer area of

the world. “There won’t be any tsunamis around here,” Miley joked. Located in the arid Idaho desert, the facility is walled in by seismically active mountains, but the Snake River Plain, where INL is located is classified as “aseismic.” This means the plain registers as having little or no seismic activity. It’s mostly due to the basaltic layers that formed in a “cake layer pattern” of basalt and topsoil cushioning the plain from seismic activity. In fact, the ‘83 Borah earthquake (7.3 magnitude) was a major event that barely disrupted activity at INL, though the epicenter of the earthquake was located just 58 miles northwest of the Advanced Test Reactor.

Seismicity might not be an inherent risk there, but the facility has still exceeded seismic standards for the area. The Idaho Association of Building Officials rates the entire Idaho Falls area as Seismic Building Code D, which roughly translates to stringent structural integrity for those “buildings and structures in areas expected to experience severe and destructive ground shaking but NOT located close to a major fault.”

INL has variable building codes based on the location of each structure. Miley explained, “Our facilities are built to the Department of Energy standards for seismicity, based on the region in which the DOE building or structure is placed. Older facilities that were built prior to current standards but are still operational must meet the current standards. Scientists like Dr. [Suzette] Payne [the lab’s seismic expert] review new standards and then work with facility experts to determine whether or not INL facilities meet those standards.

If not, we are required to begin making upgrades.”

Ryan Krueger was one of the last

Five years laters, Tokyo Electric Power company is still struggling to cool melted reactor cores from the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear meltdown.

WIKIPEDIA COMMONS

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

12 | MARCH 9, 2016

WHILE WE’RE TALKING NUCLEAR…

*INFORMATION BASED OFF THE NATIONAL PARK SERVICE.

The striking terrain of the Teton Mountain Range is a product of vertical movement that transpired on the 44-mile Teton Fault. as long as their rules are as stringent as EPA’s. If they are more stringent, then the state’s laws are the standard, but states cannot be lower than EPA’s.”

However, the grassroots organization Kootenai Environmental Alliance claims that the Idaho Department of Environmental Quality does not have a great track record when it comes to administering guidelines for the Clean Water Act. According to a KEA report: “Of 5,747 distinct waterways in Idaho, 2,108 have insufficient data to determine the threshold question of whether Clean Water Act standards are being met. That corresponds to 33,523 miles of rivers and 186,677 acres of freshwater lakes that have insufficient monitoring data or any other information on which to determine what measures, if any, are needed to protect those waterways.”

ARE WE READY?

in such a beautiful area because of geological activity. And that makes it our responsibility to be educated about those hazards in order to mitigate their impact.”

But Ochs is concerned that residents are not adequately prepared for a natural disaster. “FEMA recommends that individuals are prepared for last at least three days with supplies of food, water, and oxygen when facing a natural disaster,” Ochs explained. “Keep in mind, that’s about a gallon of water per person, per a day.” Because Jackson is so isolated, however, Ochs suggests valley residents stock a week’s worth.

In the comprehensive disaster mitigation plan, first responders are advised to help their loved ones first, extending the timeframe of when help would arrive to other residents. “We would rely heavily on the state, the federal government, even Idaho for assistance, and it could be a while before they get here,” Ochs said.

But preparedness is not easy for this mountain town. Jackson has a nearly nonexistent growth cycle for food. According to the Jackson Hole Conservation Alliance, 96 percent of Jackson’s food is imported, leaving its citizens vulnerable to food scarcity. Major power outages, roadway damage, and communications system failures would all impact first responders’ ability to assist victims.

Preparing for the effects of a major earthquake is the real goal of the mitigation plan. One of the most important aspects of the plan is Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster, or VOAD. This conglomerate includes places of worship, nonprofits, rotary clubs, even the Elks Club, all coming together to play their individually unique roles.

“Let’s say there are five churches set

MARCH 9, 2016 | 13

This week, on the heels of the Gros Ventre earthquake, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), is set to approve the Jackson/Teton County’s new Multi-Hazard Mitigation Plan. Rich Ochs, Teton County Emergency Management coordinator, has been working tirelessly compiling potential disaster data for the area. He has used the data to put together plans for nearly every disaster eventuality that could occur. With these plans in place, properly preparing for, responding to, and mitigating those occurrences will hopefully become a structured, manageable prospect. For Ochs, one type of disaster stands out among the rest.

“Our big nightmare scenario is a large earthquake with cascading events like landslides, blackouts, and fires,” he said.

In the disaster mitigation plan, Ochs posits that a scenario similar to the deadly

1959 Hebgen Lake earthquake would cause catastrophic damage to Jackson.

Should the Jackson Lake Dam break due to seismic activity, the sudden onslaught of water could bury homes all along the Snake River. An event like that would leave Moose, Wilson, and Hoback—nearly 847,000 acres—swimming in water.

Teton County’s “Are You Prepared?” report states, “In the event of [Jackson Lake Dam] failure, a wall of water would pass below Moran within 30 minutes, engulf Park facilities at Moose within five hours, flood all homes in the Snake River Plain, bury Wilson in 12 to 18 feet of water within eight and a half hours, and flood the highway in Snake River Canyon in the vicinity of Fall Creek Road in 14 hours.”

In 2010, HAZUS (Hazards U.S.) crafted several scenarios that predicted the fallout of a major earthquake along the Teton Fault. According to the report, anywhere from 30 to 40 people would require hospitalization. Disrupted roadways and a loss of functionality for EMS and medical care could prevent these injured people from receiving medical attention making more injuries life-threatening, the report stated.

The study projected that Teton County could lose $370 million in structural assets. Damage to highways and bridges could result in approximately $43 million, and loss of utilities at an additional $3.5 million. These damages could potentially cripple the local economy. A study by the U.S. Small Business Administration predicted that potentially a quarter of small businesses in the county would permanently shut down after a major disaster.

“Obviously, we can’t prevent earthquakes,” Ochs said. “We live

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

sentinels standing at the nonprofit Keep Yellowstone Nuclear Free. KYNF was a nuclear watchdog for the Yellowstone area, and while the organization maintained a nuclear-neutral stance, neither promoting nor opposing nuclear energy, the nonprofit has voiced concerns about the nuclear facility’s close proximity to the valley. Jackson Hole is directly downwind from INL, leaving it vulnerable to radiation pollution should a major disaster affect the plant. “Some catastrophic failure of some system, with that type of complexity, was always a concern,” Krueger said. “But it was always the radiological threats—things that would contribute to the air quality— that we were really concerned about.”

Krueger and staffers at the nonprofit Snake River Alliance both believe it is not the major meltdown that is the most pressing threat from INL, but the daily release of pollutants into the air, groundwater, and earth.

While INL did pump highly diluted radioactive water into the ground until the early 80s, Miley claims that it was in smaller levels than those found occurring in nature. INL’s Environmental Oversight Program, he explained, ensures that air pollutants are strictly monitored. The program constantly monitors air, water, terrestrial, and external radiation samples from various locations surrounding the plant to make sure it is in compliance with the EPA’s National Emissions Standards for Hazardous Air Pollutants.

Pollution standards for INL, Miley alleges, are very strict. “INL is overseen by the Idaho Department of Environmental Quality,” he said. “In all cases, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency has supreme oversight, but states are allowed to implement controls and oversight

QUAKES AND CALDERAS

On the Richter Scale, 4.0 earthquakes like the one in the Gros Ventre that shook the valley in February, stand on the inconsequential side of the spectrum.

But in Jackson, where thoughts of the Yellowstone Caldera and imminent, fiery doom lurk, quakes of any kind leave aftershocks of question. According to USGS’s “Did You Feel It” website, more than 140 people across the valley reported feeling last month’s quake, and talk of the event was a constant background chatter after the plates stilled.

Peter Cervelli reviews geological data around the Yellowstone area for USGS. He likes to point out that signs of this area’s seismicity are all around us. “In an area like [the Tetons] even though there’s no volcanism, earthquakes are a real threat,” he said. “You’re not in California, but the Tetons didn’t just pop up out of nowhere. Those are very new, young mountains that have been pushed up pretty quickly, almost certainly occurring from earthquakes. Not all of it from earthquakes, of course, but one big earthquake and the mountain might move 10 feet.” The Teton Fault, Cervelli says, certainly presents a serious potential earthquake hazard.

While earthquakes have not caused fatalities in the region for more than 50 years, when they do shake, their cascading effects are deadly, causing fatalities and major property damage. In 1959, a 7.3 earthquake barreled through Hebgen Lake, Montana, leaving 28 dead, and in today’s dollars, structural damage that totaled more than $88 million.

The earthquake’s epicenter was about 15 miles northwest of Yellowstone National Park.

The event is still

considered the most damaging Yellowstone earthquake on record. Homes shifted off their axes, pipelines burst, and roads were destroyed. The vast majority of the fatalities were due to a rockslide that dammed up the Madison River, causing Quake Lake to form in a matter of weeks.

The rockslide carried 80,000,000 tons of debris down Madison Canyon, burying unsuspecting campers along the way.

Although Yellowstone’s seismicity has been destructive in the past, Cervelli says right now the area is quiet. “While I don’t go much further back than a decade, in terms of ground deformation, this calm follows a period of pretty exciting activity from 2013 to the end of 2015,” he explained. “There was an interesting ground swelling episode at Norris Geyser Basin that culminated in a large 4.8 earthquake in late March of 2014.” After that, the ground subsided. “People have used the term ‘breathing,’” Cervelli said.

While not a perfect analogy, it describes the compression and recession of plate tectonics.

Monitoring geological trends in the park is a big part of Cervelli’s job.

“There’s no sign of abnormal activity as long as I’ve been measuring,” Cervelli said. He believes with proper instruments and good scientists monitoring data, predicting a major geological occurrence is absolutely possible. Right now, he is confident Yellowstone is running business as usual.

Of course talk of Yellowstone’s seismicity usually leads to discussion about the underground supervolcano, otherwise known as the Yellowstone Caldera, which could be triggered by a major earthquake. Some fear that a large scale earthquake would surely cause the caldera to blow. For Cervelli, whose main focus is Yellowstone’s volcanic activity, the ballooning fears surrounding the Yellowstone Caldera are unwarranted.

“It’s not like there’s no risk, but hopefully we would have a considerable amount of warning,” he said. Cervelli also

dismisses the concept of a world-ending explosion.

“It’s not like these are volcanic eruptions with lava and volcanic rock.

Rather, they are steam explosions that throw around the material that is already there, and they happen on a small scale pretty frequently.” These explosions, Cervelli explained, have changed the topography of the park even within his lifetime. Biscuit Basin and Porkchop Geyser both had small explosions that altered the way the feature looked.

No damage was done, though, except for spewed gravel ending up on the boardwalk.

Overall Cervelli concludes that the “end of the world” scenario is totally implausible. “There’s no guarantee we’ll ever get a supereruption again,” said Cervelli, who was dismissive of language deeming that Yellowstone’s big one is “overdue to erupt.” Even though Yellowstone is often described as a ticking time bomb, the Yellowstone Caldera is not on a timer.

According to USGS’s surveys, there is no abnormal activity whatsoever that would indicate it is overdue to erupt.

And even if it did erupt, Cervelli does not believe there would be the cataclysmic ramifications that are often cited.

“Like the one that occurred 640,000 years ago—it was a very serious natural disaster with global ramifications. Should something similar occur it wouldn’t destroy the East or West Coast,” he said. Instead, Cervelli noted the biggest problem would be volcanic ash (really pulverized rock) that would accumulate to significant depths in places like Colorado, Nebraska and the Dakotas, which would be a serious hazard and a long-term

inconvenience.

“But the concept that it is overdue to erupt is just wrong.

There’s no sign of any abnormal activity as long as we’ve been measuring.”

Volcanic activity exists in Yellowstone, of course, but in this area of the world, Cervelli sees no competition between volcanism and seismicity. “We know that earthquakes occur fairly frequently.

People have died from earthquakes in the area, but not one person has died from volcanic activity in Yellowstone.” This doesn’t include semantic exceptions, he pointed out, like injuries and deaths associated with geysers.

Petrologist Christy Till, a professor at Arizona State University’s School of Earth and Space Exploration, believes with the advancements in geological forecasting technology, predicting an eruption well ahead of the actual event is quite possible.

“We find that the last time Yellowstone erupted after sitting dormant for a long time, the eruption was triggered within 10 months of new magma moving into the base of the volcano, while other times it erupted closer to the 10-year mark,” she stated in a press release for the American Association for the Advancement of Science.

Till’s estimates “[Do] not mean that Yellowstone will erupt in 10 months, or even 10 years. The countdown clock starts ticking when there is evidence of magma moving into the crust.” Currently, according to Till, there is no such movement. PJH

In the event of a major earthquake, the Jackson Lake Dam could release enough water to drown Moose, Wilson and Hoback.

IDAHO NATIONAL LABORATORY

The water causeway at Idaho National Laboratory where tritium, a radioactive form of hydrogen, is stored.

WIKIPEDIA COMMONS

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

14 | MARCH 9, 2016

up to house people, but none to feed them. This system ensures that we don’t duplicate efforts,” Ochs noted. The way VOAD is currently set up, one organization could focus on housing, another on food, another on medical, and they all could pool resources. “Recovery is not just cops and firefighters; it’s a coordinated effort from the whole community,” Ochs said.

THIS WEEK: March 9-15, 2016

WEDNESDAY MAR. 9

n Nonprofit Accounting 2:00pm, Community Foundation of Jackson Hole, $75.00, 307-739-1026 n Freestyle Skating 3:00pm, Snow King Sports & Event Center, $10.00, 307-2011633 n Chess Club: Grades K to 12 3:30pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 x118 n Chess Club - Driggs 3:30pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Driggs, Free, 208-3545522 n 2D Design and Print 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $50.00, 307-733-6379 n Apres with Maw Band 4:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n Free Tax Preparation: InPerson 4:00pm, Teton County Library Ordway Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n English Riding Lessons 4:00pm, Heritage Arena, $65.00, 307-699-4136 n Wednesday Night Lights Rail Jam 5:00pm, Snow King Mountain, $10.00 - $12.00, 307-733-6433 n Evening Yoga 6:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Great Until Late 6:00pm, Local Businesses, Free, 307-201-2294 n Adult Book Club 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Victor, Free, 208-7872201 n Cribbage Club 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Driggs, Free, 208-3545522 n Barbara Trentham Life Drawing 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $10.00, 307733-6379 n Make a Quilt Top in 4 Weeks!

6:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $75.00, 307-733-7425 n Microsoft Word 6:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $40.00, 307-733-7425 n Life Drawing 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $10.00 - $15.00, 307-733-6379 n Meet & Make Artsy Cards 6:00pm, Art Association, 3rd Floor, $5.00, 804-380-6728

n Open Gym - Adult Basketball 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025 n Bridge 6:30pm, Old Wilson Schoolhouse, Free, 307-413-9507 n High Elevation Gardening Workshops 6:30pm, Rendezvous Upper Elementary School Library, $75.00, 413-575-0624 n Beginning Ballet Workshop with Dawn Webster 6:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $25.00 - $75.00, 307-733-6398 n Beginner Argentine Tango Workshop with Robin Maffei 6:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $25.00 - $85.00, 307-733-6398 n STACKHOUSE 7:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n Tavern Trivia 7:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-733-3886 n Auditions for 4000 Miles by Amy Herzog 7:30pm, Convergence, Free n Songwriter’s Alley 8:00pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n KHOL Presents: Vinyl Night 9:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307733-1500 n Kari Lynch Music 10:00pm, Pinky G’s, Free, 307734-7465

THURSDAY MAR. 10

n Kettlebells 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Plan to Succeed: A Guide for New Executive Directors 8:30am, Community Foundation of Jackson Hole, $20.00, 307-739-1026 n Yoga 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Intermediate/Advanced Ballet @ Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Tech Tutor 10:00am, Teton County Library, Free, 733-2164 ext. 218 n Storytime 10:30am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164

MARCH 9, 2016 | 15

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 17

Compiled by Caroline Zieleniewski

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n Boot Camp 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Pilates Mat Classes at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Gym 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n Nonprofit Finance 101 8:30am, Community Foundation of Jackson Hole, $20.00, 307-739-1026 n Yoga 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Toddler Gym 10:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n Tech Tutor 10:00am, Teton County Library, Free, 733-2164 ext. 218 n Story Time 10:00am, Valley of the Tetons Library Victor, Free, 208-7872201 n Strollercize 10:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $10.00, 307-7335056 n Open Hockey 10:15am, Snow King Sports & Event Center, $10.00, 307-2011633 n Fables Feathers & Fur 10:30am, National Museum of Wildlife Art, Free, 307-733-5771 n Lap Sit 11:00am, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Ladies Day Wednesdays 11:00am, Snow King Mountain, $49.00 - $59.00, 307-699-4227 n Conversations for Common Ground 11:30am, St. John’s Episcopal Church, Free, 307-733-2603 n Public Skating 12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633 n Women’s Business Roundtable 12:00pm, Jackson Town Hall, Council Chamber, Free, 512277-5047 n Total Fitness 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Ranger-led Snowshoe Hike 1:30pm, Grand Teton National Park, Free, 307-739-3399

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

16 | MARCH 9, 2016

CREATIVE PEAKS Souls Ignited Multi-faceted performance includes a mosaic of music, dance, film, and plenty of paint.

BY KELSEY DAYTON @Kelsey_Dayton

IGNIS ANIMA

T

here is a process called trophic cascade, when a predator population changes, it impacts populations of species down the food chain. That concept, along with a Sherwin Williams paint commercial, inspired a film created by Kayla Arend, which then inspired a photo exhibit and a live performance piece called “Ignis Anima.”

The idea is an exploration of life cycles and energy flows. “I wanted to convey that through art,” Arend explained.

Arend has always been interested in the collision of art and science. Hailing from Rochester, Minnesota, she studied film at Montana State University, minoring in entomology with a focus on woodboring beetles.

“You can’t have art without science, and science without art,” she said. “Research is an art.”

When Amend got into filmmaking she knew she wanted to explore ways to use her left and right brain. “I’m kind of a nerd when it comes to biological processes,” she said.

Arend partnered with Luke Zender— recently featured in The Planet cover story on the arts in Jackson, “The Creative Conundrum”—to create a video featuring Francesca Romo, an instructor at Dancers’ Workshop and former member of the professional company Gallim. Zender choreographed a piece set to a score composed by Jackson resident Madelaine German.

“I wanted something representing birth, life experiences, and then eventually reincarnation,” Arend said. “[Zender] got really creative with it.”

Arend didn’t care where the colors fell; she just wanted the film to feature dancing in paint. Romo danced on large pieces of canvas covered in paint. When finished, Arend cut and framed the canvas, creating paintings.

Each piece of the production inspired the next. The music inspired the dance, which led to the painting, which became the film, which translated into photography that inspired the idea of the live-theater.

Each piece of the performance represents something different, Arend said. Paint is

‘Ignis Anima’ is an interactive art show where art lovers, paint brushes and the naked body coalesce. the emotional experiences across a lifetime.

Dance is the perception of those experiences.

Music is the historical aspect of the human condition as an idea. Film is another person’s interaction with someone else’s life experiences. Photography is the impact and the memory of the moment, and art is the means of expression for it all.

“The film embodies an outsider’s interaction with one’s life experiences,” Arend said in her artist statement. “From this, once a life’s materials are spent and all the energy has gone elsewhere, memories of our life remain, symbolized by the still photographs that surround the projected films.”

Ignis means fire and anima is the animated soul. Put together, the phrase means “soul fire,” Arend said.

The multi-sensory experience explores the major processes of one’s life. “It’s all about how your spirit and your life force flows through these different processes,” she said.

The performance and exhibition is one of the largest collaborations Arend has been able to create. It involved about 25 residents who performed duties ranging from the film’s makeup to the editing process.“Film really is a collaborative art,” she said.

Carrie Richer, arts in public spaces coordinator at the Center for the Arts, called the exhibition a true multi-disciplinary project.

The 15-minute film will play on a loop in the coat check closet, converted into a screening room, until April 4. Arend will hang stills from the film in the gallery. The

pictures capture dancer Romo playing in the paint. “It’s really beautiful and really colorful,” Richer said. “The images are really delicious.”

There will also be a live performance from 6 to 7 p.m., Friday. Romo and Zender will stand on blocks, performing and posing while people pour paint on them. They created a similar performance recently at the Pink Garter Theater that garnered a robust turnout. Richer likes that the performance is a way to get the public involved and interacting with the show. “It’s sort of like taking the public and putting them inside the film,” Richer said.

The Center is actively trying to offer more of these types of interdisciplinary performances that encourage collaboration. “It encompasses what the Center really wants to be about,” Richer said. “It’s about people coming together and making something new and greater. It’s a good symbol of what we are trying to strive for.”

The show opens Wednesday with an artist talk. There is a reception Friday evening.

The gallery is open to the public during the Center’s regular business hours, 8 a.m. to 9 p.m., Monday through Saturday, and 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. on Sunday.

For more information on the show, follow #ignisanima on social media. PJH Ignis Anima by Kayla Arend, artist talk Wednesday at noon, reception 5:30 to 7 p.m., Friday. Show hangs through April 4 at the Center Theater Gallery at the Center for the Arts.

FRIDAY MAR. 11

n Boot Camp 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Toddler Gym 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n bootybarre® at Dancers’ Workshop 9:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Yoga 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Portrait Drawing Club 9:00am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $10.00, 307733-6379 n Ballet Workout at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 10:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Gym 10:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n Customer Appreciation Day 10:00am, Quiznos Sub, Free, 307-733-0201 n Open Hockey 10:15am, Snow King Sports & Event Center, $10.00, 307-2011633 n Free Tax Preparation: Drop-Off Service 10:30am, Teton County Library Computer Lab, Free, 307-7332164 n Yoga 12:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Public Skating 12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633

n Feathered Friday 12:00pm, Jackson Hole & Greater Yellowstone Visitor Center, Free, 307-201-5433 n Free Open Rehearsal - Contemporary Dance Wyoming 12:00pm, Dancers’ Workshop, Free, 307-733-6398 n Total Fitness 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Lego Club 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Driggs, Free, 208-7872201 n Ranger-led Snowshoe Hike 1:30pm, Grand Teton National Park, Free, 307-739-3399 n 6th Annual Cowboy Songs & Cake 2:30pm, Teton County Library Alta Branch, Free, 307-353-2505 n Screen Door Porch 3:00pm, Trap Bar and Grill, Free, 307-353-2300 n Freestyle Skating 3:00pm, Snow King Sports & Event Center, $10.00, 307-2011633 n Clay and Sculpture 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $190.00, 307733-6379 n Wine Tasting 4:00pm, The Liquor Store & Wine Loft, Free, 307-733-4466 n Ladies Night Fridays 5:00pm, Snow King Mountain, $49.00 - $59.00, 307-699-4227 n Opening Reception: Ignis Anima 5:30pm, The Center Theater Gallery, Free, 307-733-4900 n Friday Night Meditation 6:00pm, Zendler Chiropractic, Free, 307-699-8300 n Great Until Late 6:00pm, Local Businesses, Free, 307-201-2294 n Whiskey Experience 6:00pm, VOM FASS Jackson Hole, Free, 307-734-1535 n Open Gym - Adult Soccer 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-0925 n Pam Drews Phillips Plays Jazz 7:00pm, The Granary at Spring Creek Ranch, Free, 307-7338833 n Art Opening: Jonas Claesson 7:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307733-1500 n Free Public Stargazing 7:30pm, Center for the Arts, Free, 307-413-4779

MARCH 9, 2016 | 17

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 19

n Armchair Adventure 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $5.00, 307-739-9025 n JH Community Band Rehearsal 7:00pm, Center for the Arts Performing Arts Wing, Free, 307-200-9463 n Major Zephyr 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n Salsa Night 9:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307733-1500 n Disco Night 10:00pm, Stagecoach Bar, Free, 307-733-4407 n Dirty Revival 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-733-3886

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n Storytime 11:00am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n 22 in 21: The State of Our Environment 11:00am, Spring Creek Ranch, $50.00 n Open Gym - Adult Basketball 12:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025 n Public Skating 12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633 n Cribbage 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Driggs, Free, 208-354-5522 n Freestyle Skating 3:00pm, Snow King Sports & Event Center, $10.00, 307-2011633 n Culture through Clay 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $150.00 $180.00, 307-733-6379 n Apres with Stack and the Attack 4:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n Thursday Gates 4:00pm, Snow King Mountain, $49.00 - $59.00, 307-699-4227 n Yoga 4:15pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Metal Working Series - All Classes 4:15pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $125.00 $158.00, 307-733-6379 n Jackson Whole Grocer Chamber Mixer 5:00pm, Jackson Whole Grocer, Free, 307-733-0450 n Jazzercise 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $10.00, 307-739-9025 n Total Fitness 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Great Until Late 6:00pm, Local Businesses, Free, 307-201-2294 n Silversmithing: Projects & Stone Setting 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $65.00 - $78.00, 307-733-6379 n ACT Prep Course 6:00pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Whiskey Experience 6:00pm, VOM FASS Jackson Hole, Free, 307-734-1535 n Open Gym - Adult Soccer 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-0925

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

18 | MARCH 9, 2016

MUSIC BOX Sweet Gospel Soul Grammy-winning Snarky Puppy keyboardist brings drummer sidekick to Tavern.

BY AARON DAVIS @ScreenDoorPorch

T

he plethora of accessable music databases within our reach translates into band recommendations coming into the peripheral with fervent consistency. But when someone goes so far as saying that a band has rocked her world or changed her life, that sticks to the guts—and the nudge to dig into Snarky Puppy was only a matter of time. The large, rotating ensemble just took home its second Grammy Award, this time for Best Contemporary Intrumental Album for Sylva.

This Sunday music lovers will be sent to church with Snarky Puppy keyboardist Cory Henry. Musician, producer and composer, Henry was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York, and spent much of his time as a child among the large community of musicians in his local church. At age two, he started playing organ in church, but even before that his friends and family say that he would bang on pots and pans or sing and play on neighbors’ pianos every chance he could. Henry continued to play organ, piano and the Rhodes through school. He stopped attending after 7th grade so he could continue his musical education and growth.

Since touring with jazz legend Kenny

Garret as his organist for three years at age 19, Henry has worked with some of the most respected artists in jazz, fusion, gospel, and R&B: Aretha Franklin, The Roots, Boyz 2 Men, NAS, Bruce Springsteen, and many more.

For an audio introduction that will inspire you to instantly buy tickets for this show, do yourself a favor and track down his 2016 live single, “NaaNaaNaa,” followed by a spin of his 2014 LP, First Steps. This one’s going to be special, featuring simply keys and drums.

Cory Henry presents The Revival, 10 p.m., Sunday at Town Square Tavern. $10. 307Live. com, 733-3886.

GTMF launches inaugural winter series We already know, with help from The Wall Street Journal, that Grand Teton Music Festival is “one of the best places to hear classical music in the summer.” GTMF presents Winter Music aims to capture exemplary sounds that have made the summer festival renowned. The series includes a return performance from pianist Charlie Albright (Tuesday), a lunchtime Learning lecture in partnership with St. John’s, and evening chamber concert with Brahms’ Horn Trio (both on Wed. March 16). The program continues with a Metropolitan Opera: Live in HD broadcast of “Manon Lescaut” (Thurs.

March 17), in-school presentations and workshops, and a closing concert with crossover quintet Sybarite5 (Fri. March 18). For a complete schedule, visit GTMF.org.

Grand Teton Music Festival presents Winter Music, Tuesday, March 15 to 18. GTMF.org.

New era over Yonder Restructuring of a band—especially when it’s one of the front persons—usually means extreme consequences. In the case of Yonder Mountain String Band, that risk set sail with the 2015 release of Black Sheep, the first album in a new era featuring Adam

Snarky Puppy keyboardist Cory Henry will school your soul come Sunday.

Aijala (guitar, vocals), Dave Johnston (banjo, vocals), Ben Kaufmann (bass, vocals), Allie Kral (violin, vocals), and Jacob Jolliff (mandolin, vocals). Lightning fast and intricate picking remains, while a gospel-meets-grasspunk tilt has me revisiting a band I had previously lost interest in.

As Kaufman noted, “This record sounds more like Yonder than any record we’ve ever done. It’s not just bluegrass—it’s progressive.

Everything Yonder has ever tried to do, we’re doing in this record. It’s gonna take some time for fans to get acquainted with the new Yonder. When you make a big change like we did, it’s a huge thing.”

Bellingham, Washington bluegrass-country-Americana quintet Polecat opens the show.

Yonder Mountain String Band with Polecat, 8 p.m., Tuesday at the Pink Garter Theatre. $35-$40. PinkGarterTheatre.com, 733-1500. PJH

WED: Songwriter’s Alley Open Mic featuring Molly Thorn (Silver Dollar) THUR: Dirty Revival (Town Square Tavern), Major Zephyr (Silver Dollar) FRI: Gary Small and the Coyote Brothers (Silver Dollar), Maw Band (Mangy Moose) SAT: Big Wild, Head to Head, Oh!Nassi (Pink Garter Theatre), Music Under the Tram: Misfit Moonshiners (Jackson Hole Mountain Resort) SUN: Cory Henry presents The Revival (Town Square Tavern) MON: BOGDOG (apres; Mangy Moose) TUES: Yonder Mountain String Band with Polecat (Pink Garter Theatre), Charlie Albright (Center Theater)

Aaron Davis is a decade-long writer of Music Box. He also happens to be a singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, member of Screen Door Porch and Boondocks, founder/host of Songwriter’s Alley, and co-founder of The WYOmericana Caravan.

n Gourmet Dinner at Aspens Market to benefit Rendezvous Park 7:30pm, Aspens Market, $125.00, 307-733-3913 n Gary Small & The Coyote Brothers 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n Maw Band 9:00pm, Mangy Moose, $5.00, 307-733-4913 n Freda Felcher 10:30pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-733-3886

SATURDAY MAR. 12

n Rock the Ride 9:00am, Revolution Indoor Cycling, 307-413-0441 n Ski with the Godfather-Bill Briggs 12:00pm, Snow King Mountain, $49.00 - $59.00, 307-699-4227 n Boondocks 3:00pm, The Trap Bar & Grill, Free, 307-353-2300 n Open Gym - Adult Volleyball 4:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025 n Apres with Major Zephyr 4:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n Stagecoach Band 6:00pm, Stagecoach, Free, 307-733-4407 n Taize 6:00pm, St. John’s Episcopal Church, Free, 307-733-2603

MONDAY MAR. 14

n Boot Camp 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Pilates Mat Classes at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Gym 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n Jazzercise 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $10.00, 307-739-9025 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Kindercreations 9:30am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $85.00 - $102.00, 307-733-6379 n Toddler Gym 10:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n Open Hockey 10:15am, Snow King Sports & Event Center, $10.00, 307-2011633 n Little Hands, Little Feet 11:00am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $85.00 - $102.00, 307-733-6379 n Public Skating 12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633 n Total Fitness 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Story Time 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Driggs, Free, 208-3545522 n Freestyle Skating 3:00pm, Snow King Sports & Event Center, $10.00, 307-2011633 n Maker Monday’s 3:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Victor, Free, 208-7872201

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MARCH 9, 2016 | 19

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 20

SUNDAY MAR. 13

n Great Until Late 6:00pm, Local Businesses, Free, 307-201-2294 n Square Dancing 6:30pm, Old Wilson Schoolhouse Community Center, $40.00 - $60.00, 307-413-9507 n Hospitality Night - Happy Hour 9:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307733-1500 n Corey Henry’s “Revival Project” 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, 307-733-3886

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n Photography Composition & Visualization 8:00am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $65.00, 307-7336379 n Free One-Day College Education 8:30am, National Museum of Wildlife Art, Free, 307-6992680 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 9:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n What is Coffee Cupping?

9:00am, Snake River Roasting, $20.00 - $50.00, 307-733-7425 n Teton Valley Winter Farmer’s Market 10:00am, MD Nursery, Free, 208-354-8816 n Adult Oil Painting 10:00am, The Local Galleria, $25.00, 208-270-0883 n Parents’ Ski Saturdays 10:00am, Snow King Mountain, $49.00 - $59.00, 307-699-4227 n Open Hockey - Weekend Mornings 10:15am, Snow King Sports & Event Center, $10.00 n Free Tax Preparation: Drop-Off Service 10:30am, Teton County Library Computer Lab, Free, 307-7332164 n Tram Jam 11:00am, Base of the Bridger Gondola, Free n Ranger-led Snowshoe Hike 1:30pm, Grand Teton National Park, Free, 307-739-3399 n Raptor Encounters 2:00pm, Teton Raptor Center, $10.00 - $12.00, 307-203-2551 n Screen Door Porch 3:00pm, The Trap Bar & Grill, Free, 307-353-2300 n Clicquot In The Snow 3:00pm, Four Seasons Resort and Residences, $50.00, 307732-5175

n Music Under the Tram Misfit Moonshiners 3:00pm, Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, Free, 307-733-2292 n Chanman Solo in the K BAR at the Teton Mountain Lodge and Spa 4:00pm, K BAR, Free, 307 413 1348 n Auditons for 4000 Miles by Amy Herzog 4:00pm, Convergence, Free n Snowboard Saturday Adult Classes 5:00pm, Snow King Mountain, $49.00 - $59.00, 307-699-4227 n Great Until Late 6:00pm, Local Businesses, Free, 307-201-2294 n Jackson Hole Community School’s Spring Fever Gala 6:00pm, Hotel Terra, $100.00, 781-910-1045 n Whiskey Experience 6:00pm, VOM FASS Jackson Hole, Free, 307-734-1535 n Open Gym - Adult Soccer 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-0925 n Gary Small & The Coyote Brothers 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n The Miller Sisters 8:00pm, Knotty Pine, Free, 208-787-2866 n Big Wild, Head to Head 9:00pm, Pink Garter Theatre, $15.00, 307-733-1500 n Cure for the Common 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, $5.00, 307-733-3886 n Jameson Music Series presents John Wayne’s World 10:30pm, The Rose, Free, 307733-1500

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

20 | MARCH 9, 2016

n Handbuilding Plus!

3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $150.00 - $180.00, 307-733-6379 n After School Kidzart Club 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $195.00 - $234.00, 307-733-6379 n Apres with Tucker Smith 3-piece band 4:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n English Riding Lessons 4:00pm, Heritage Arena, $65.00, 307-6994136 n Barre Fusion at Dancers’ Workshop 5:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Hootenanny at Dornans 6:00pm, Dornans, Free, 307-733-2415 n Evening Yoga 6:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307739-9025 n Great Until Late 6:00pm, Local Businesses, Free, 307-201-2294 n Drawing 101 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $130.00, 307-733-6379 n Make a Quilt Top in 4 Weeks!

6:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $75.00, 307-733-7425 n Fermentation-Vegetable Medley 6:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $40.00, 307-733-7425 n Skiers can Tango, and so can You! 6:30pm, Center for the Arts, Free, 917 613-3176 n Open Gym - Adult Basketball 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307739-9025

TUESDAY MAR. 15

n Kettlebells 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307739-9025 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $16.00, 307-7336398 n Yoga 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307739-9025 n Outside In 9:00am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $10.00, 307-733-6379 n emPower Your Business & Organization Through Energy and Fuel Efficiency 9:00am, Wort Hotel, $25.00, 307-690-3316 n Ballet Workout at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Time 10:05am, Teton County Library, Free, 733-2164 ext. 118 n Open Gym - Adult Basketball 12:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025 n Public Skating 12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633 n MELT at Dancers’ Workshop 12:10pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Spin 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-733-5056

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 22

ELIZABETH KOUTRELAKOS

GET OUT

Midwinter Crisis Caves and crowds lead back home.

BY ELIZABETH KOUTRELAKOS @EKoutrelakos

W

arm sunny weather has granted us our first scent of spring. During a brief, yet wonderful set of sunrises I was able to smell that sweet scent of decomposing pine needles. Snow enthusiasts sometimes complain of the lack of powder during these now early March heat smells (remember when this didn’t occur until April?). Around this time other outdoor recreationists enter the period that I call “the midwinter crisis.” Similar to the midlife crisis, this stage of the season could be characterized by intense periods of self-reflection, panicking and drastic life choices such as breakups with a significant other. Others report a desire to quit their seasonal job, feelings of being overwhelmed by fiscal responsibilities, and general desire to just up and go.

With these thoughts, some continue through the winter rehearsal, dawning their ski gear in feeble attempts to find happiness in the mountains. Others choose to simply take a break from the real world by living out of their vehicles somewhere else on the continent. One winter, long before my plunge into middle adulthood, I experienced what may be described as a midwinter crisis and decided to partake in the latter. No, I did not quit my job or drastically change my life course. It just so happened that the specific

Left: The Lehman Caves, one of the few caves in the U.S. with electric lighting. Right: The soaring rock walls that look down on the Merced River. Bottom: A quintessential shot of the Half Dome. flow of life allowed me a mere chunk of free time. Given the desperate need for a quick recharge, I motivated someone else to take part in the racket.

The back of the overloaded Nissan Frontier sagged and the true journey began as we drove towards where it was supposed to be warm this time of year. We passed through the Utah dessert and spent a few days getting into the groove of the car camping lifestyle.

Activities throughout the day consisted primarily of climbing, eating and sleeping, but these things were exceedingly more pleasant than they may sound.

After the sand crept into every wrinkle of our bodies, a stop in Great Basin National Park offered a different perspective on things to explore. Like all the typical parks within American’s protected lands, hiking trails abound, but so did caves. A paid tour through the Lehman Caves offered a unique perspective of the park’s attempt to preserve. A paved asphalt walkway to ease passage kept visitors herded on the path. The eight-dollar fee seemed uniquely ironic considering this was once a place where Native Americans were put to rest and now the federal government is making money off of visitors to visit the place. Needless to say, the park wore out its welcome pretty quickly.

From there, we zipped over to Yosemite National Park and planted roots at the infamous Camp Four. If you think there’s a lot of rules in GTNP, consider this: The rules in Yosemite National Park makes Grand Teton National Park look like Woodstock. Due to bear problems, all visitors are required to remove all food from their vehicles and place them in bear boxes at night. (During daylight hours, food may be stored in vehicles, but out of sight). While I understand that this

ensures public safety and keeps black bears from ruining cars, placing anything remotely valuable in a public box in California is simply a terrible idea. I witnessed an innocent family return from a backpacking trip only to realize nameless vagabonds had filched their nourishment.

The camping scene at Camp Four reminded me of a music festival run by police officers. After you wait in line, pitch the cash and display your license to retrieve the required camping permit, the night offered an unexpected structure not typically native to camping. At around nine in the evening, I was awoken by a ranger’s bright flashlight shining on my tent. Apparently, this was a tent check to ensure I wasn’t harboring any unregistered campers (!).

So, yes, Camp Four was a little rough but the topography rippled into what dreams are made of. Long trail runs offered views of rainbows and waterfalls and the climbs were, well, actually climbs. Real life, humbling, difficult, large slabs of rock! I realized here that I’m significantly better at walking than climbing, which is probably why I continue to live in the Tetons. After a bit of time bustling around in this crowded California national park, I was ready to go home.

The prospect of settling back into my fulltime job and reentering the world of toilets and cooking at home no longer seemed overwhelming. We hightailed it back, stopping only briefly to soak in some hot springs along the way. Upon reentering Jackson, feelings of refreshment and newness trickled back into my psyche. As G.K. Chesterton once said, “The object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one’s own country as a foreign land.” PJH

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YOUR SUMMER GUIDE TO ALL OF THE HAPPENINGS IN THE HOLE! COMING THIS JUNE.

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KS N A TH

TO Y OU

Bettie Taylor

BANK OF JACKSON HOLE | EVANS CONSTRUCTION 1ST INTERSTATE BANK | TETON MOTORS | TEGLER & ASSOCIATES | KJAX | HI-COUNTRY LINEN | JACKSON HOLE’S OLD TIME PHOTOS | THE PLANET | INK KING PRINTING BROWSE N’ BUY BUNNERY

BY NATURE GALLERY CAFE GENEVIEVE CALDERA PIZZA CALICO RESTAURANT CANVAS UNLIMITED CENTER FOR THE ARTS CHANGES HAIR & NAIL SALON COMPUTER CLINIC CONESTOGA RANCH CORE PILATES CREEKSIDE MARKET AND DELI CUTTY’S BAR DAIRY QUEEN DAN SHELLEY JEWELERS DANCER’S WORKSHOP DAVE HANSEN WHITEWATER DAVIES REID RUGS

DIVA’S NAILS DOMINO’S PIZZA DORNANS DOUBLE H BAR E LEAVEN EAST WEST MASSAGE ECOTOUR ADVENTURES EL ABUELITO EL TEQUILA ELEANOR’S EXPRESS LUBE FINE DINING RESTAURANTS FJ”ALL RAVEN FLAT CREEK SADDLE FLORES FORGET ME NOT GAP PUCCI GATHER GLOBAL TREASURES GOODIE TWO SHOES GOTTA HAVE IT

GRAND TARGHEE RESORT GRAND TETON ACUPUNCTURE GRAND TETON DISTILLERY GRAND TETON FLOOR AND WINDOWS GREAT NORTHERN COFFEE GUN BARREL HAAGEN DAZS HABITS HAPPY TAILS HARLEY DAVIDSON HATCH RESTAURANT HAYDENS POST HIDEOUT LEATHERS HIGH COUNTRY COCA COLA HIGH COUNTRY OUTFITTERS HOBACK SPORTS HOLE FAMILY EYECARE HOME AGAIN

HONG KONG BUFFET HOTEL JACKSON HOTEL TERRA IMAGES INN AT JACKSON HOLE INTENCIONS JACKSON HOLE JEWELRY JACKSON HOLE LODGE JACKSON WHOLE GROCER JH BUFFALO MEAT CO. JH CINEMA JH FEED AND PET SUPPLY JH GOLF & TENNIS CLUB JH HISTORICAL MUSEUM STORE JH HONOR SOCIETY JH MOUNTAIN RESORT JH TOY STORE JUNE NYSTROM K MART KAZUMI JAPANESE CUISINE KING SUSHI

KISMET RUGS LARSEN FAMILY DENTISTRY LEGACY GALLERY LEXINGTON HOTEL LIFT RESTAURANT LINEN ALLEY LOCAL BUTCHER LOTUS CAFÉ MAD RIVER BOAT TRIPS MANGELSON’S IMAGES OF NATURE MATT DELGADO MCDONALDS MEETEETSE CHOCOLATIER MILLION DOLLAR COWBOY BAR MILLION DOLLAR COWBOY GIFT SHOP MOTEL 6 NAPA AUTO PARTS NATIVE NEW WEST KNIFEWORKS

NIKAI NOODLES ASIAN RESTAURANT NORA’S FISH CREEK INN OCEAN CITY OLGA’S DAY SPA ORVIS PAPER & GRACE PARKWAY INN PAT AND FRANK PETRINI PEARL STREET BAGELS PENDELTON OF JH PEPI STIEGLER SPORTS PERSEPHONE PILATES PLACE PIZZA ARTISAN PIZZA HUT PLAZA LIQUORS RAIN DANCE INDIAN ARTS RED’S AUTO GLASS REFLECTION HAIR DESIGN RINGHOLZ GALLERY

RIPLEY VACUUM ROAM RUSTY PARROT LODGE SCANDIA DOWN SEARS ROEBUCK SEW SPECIAL SHERVINS SHERWIN WILLIAMS SHOOTING STAR SIGNAL MOUNTAIN LODGE SKINNY SKIS SMITHS FOOD & DRUG SNAKE RIVER BREWING SNAKE RIVER GRILL SNOW KING RESORT SPUR RESTAURANT ST. JOHN’S MED CENTER STAGECOACH BAR STARBUCKS STIO STOCKTON-SHIRK STONE DRUG

STONE MERCANTILE SUBWAY SWEETWATER RESTAURANT TETON ART GALLERY TETON CO. PARKS & RECREATION TETON COUNTY FAIR ROYALTY TETON KIDS TETON MOUNTAINEERING TETON PINES COUNTRY CLUB TETON VALLEY SPORTS THAI ME UP THE BIRD THE GRANARY RESTAURANT THE INDIAN RESTAURANT THE LEXINGTON HOTEL THE LIQUOR STORE THE ROSE

THOENIG’S JEWELRY TOGWOTEE MOUNTAIN LODGE TOGWOTEE SNOWMOBILE ADVENTURES TWENTY TWO HOME TWO GREY HILLS INDIAN ART VALLEY BOOKSTORE VOM FASS WENDYS WESTSIDE WINE & SPIRITS WHITE BUFFALO CLUB WILD BY NATURE WILD HANDS WILD WEST DESIGNS WILDLIFE EXPEDITIONS WILLOW CREEK HOME FURNISHINGS WORT HOTEL YIPPY I-O CANDY

MARCH 9, 2016 | 21

ACE HARDWARE ALASKAN FUR GALLERY ALBERTSONS AMARAN ART APPRAISALS OF JH LLC ASHLEY MERRITT PHOTOGRAPHY ASPEN MARKET ATELIER ORTEGA AUTO DETAIL OF JACKSON BARKER EWING BEAVER CREEK BELLE COSE BENTWOOD INN BIG O TIRES BLUE LION BLUE SPRUCE CLEANER BON APPE THAI BOOT BARN BOYER’S INDIAN ART BRIAR ROSE BROOKOVER GALLERY

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

The JH Lions Club expresses a very special THANK YOU to the Donors and Sponsors of the ‘49er Ball, and to those who came, danced, bid, gambled, had fun and raised funds for the JH Lions Eye Care Program. The success of this event would not have been possible without your generosity and the donations from the businesses of Jackson Hole.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

22 | MARCH 9, 2016

n Freestyle Skating 3:00pm, Snow King Sports & Event Center, $10.00, 307-201-1633 n Afterschool Monthly Workshops - All 17 Sessions 3:30pm, Borshell Children’s Studio, $180.00 $216.00, 307-733-6379 n Mixed Media Madness 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $50.00, 307-733-6379 n Free Tax Preparation: Drop-Off Service 3:30pm, Teton County Library Computer Lab, Free, 307-733-2164 n White Lightning Open Mic Night 4:00pm, The Trap Bar & Grill, Free, 307-3532300 n Apres with Fresh Roy and the Winch Cats 4:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n Yoga 4:15pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307739-9025 n Tele Tuesdays 5:00pm, Snow King Mountain, $49.00 - $59.00, 307-699-4227 n Jazzercise 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $10.00, 307-739-9025 n Total Fitness 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307739-9025 n Great Until Late 6:00pm, Local Businesses, Free, 307-201-2294 n Basic Silkscreen 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $145.00, 307-733-6379 n Legacy of Disruption at Asymbol 6:00pm, Asymbol Art + Essentials, Free, 307734-1122 n Easy Hors d’Oeuvres 6:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $50.00, 307-733-7425 n Retirement: What Next?

6:00pm, Hansen Hall, St. John’s Episcopal Church, Free, 307-739-7493 n Open Gym - Adult Volleyball 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307739-9025 n Hip Hop at Dancers’ Workshop 7:00pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Language Exchange Night 7:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n An Evening with Pianist Charlie Albright 7:00pm, Center for the Arts, $20.00, 307-7333050 n One Ton Pig 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307732-3939 n Yonder Mountain String Band Spring Tour 2016 8:00pm, Pink Garter Theatre, $35.00 - $40.00, 307-733-1500

FOR COMPLETE EVENT DETAILS VISIT PJHCALENDAR.COM

ANDREW MUNZ

WELL, THAT HAPPENED

The Isolated Waiting Game For writers, being disconnected from modern chaos and culture is not all it’s cracked up to be.

BY ANDREW MUNZ @AndrewMunz

M

any of my readers already know that this column is not my only venture into the written word. In fact, my ultimate life’s passion is writing fiction and plays, and I’ve been working on getting my novel “Blade of the Outlaw” published for the past two years. Thanks to some suggestions from Jackson writing guru, Tim Sandlin, I got picked up by a New York-based literary agent who helped me edit the book for nine months. However, she and I broke our partnership last summer, and I’ve been searching for a new literary agent ever since.

I’ve learned plenty of patience living in this tiny fjord in Iceland, mostly because there’s no way to hurry the publishing process. Large publishing houses like Simon & Schuster or HarperCollins won’t even touch your manuscript unless you are represented by a literary agent, and the process to get one

The townspeople gather and fireworks fly as Neskaupstaður welcomes a new ship to the fjord. is long, arduous and full of rejection. A literary agent does not get paid unless you do. So, unlike a talent agent, they require no monthly paycheck. But they are the gatekeepers, and a writer must impress an agent if he or she wants to get published in the traditional manner.

My life here in Neskaupstaður is bizarrely slow; so slow that the arrival of a new fishing vessel becomes the talk of the town. Other than that, next to nothing happens here.

Northern lights, occasionally. Sometimes new tourists arrive and depart. There is a free concert this Saturday, but otherwise there’s no major events planned in town until Eistnaflug, a heavy metal festival, in July. Yes, I work most days, but there’s not much else to distract me from refreshing my inbox in hopes that someone, somewhere, likes my novel as much as I do.

But, like I said, writers face a lot more rejection than good news.

To contact a literary agent and pitch your novel, you must formulate a personalized query letter that describes your book and explains why you’re pitching that particular agent. The most common response to a query letter is some version of the following rejection: “Thank you for sending me a query letter describing your work. After careful evaluation, I have decided that I am not the right agent for representation. I can only properly represent materials that greatly excite or interest me.

Since this is such a subjective business, I am sure another agent will feel quite differently about your work. I wish you the best of luck finding representation with the right agent and good fortune with your writing career.”

Each time I get one of these e-mails (depending on the agent’s workload, they roll in maybe once every two weeks), a small piece of me shrivels up and dies, making me wonder whether I’m wasting my time with these lofty writing career goals, and if I should just self publish because it’s easier… and admittedly expensive.

But I’m stubborn and refuse to buckle.

Therefore, with every rejection I get I try to send out at least one more query letter to a new agent. Sometimes an agent will respond with some good news, however, and request to read your full manuscript. But if waiting a few weeks for a query letter response is taxing enough on your patience, try waiting months upon months for the agent to get around to reading your book.

Currently there are four agents and two indie publishers who have requested to read my full novel. Six requests out of 63 personalized query letters. One of those agents has had my book since July 2015. I’m still waiting for a response.

Normally I would distract myself with busywork and theatre, but Neskaupstaður doesn’t offer much by way of distraction. So instead I obsess over my inbox, refreshing frequently and hoping desperately, that I can take the next step towards becoming a published author. In the meantime I shall continue shucking shellfish, baking loaves of bread, and waiting for the next new fishing vessel to make its way into our fjord.

If you ever hear a writer say that their ideal situation is to be cut off from civilization with nothing but time to write, they have no idea of the hell they’ll subject themselves to. PJH

Ode to Generation Yum Cast iron skillet breakfasts for mindful young eaters and beyond.

BY ANNIE FENN, MD @JacksonHoleFoodie

D

Left: The BLT Breakfast Skillet makes good use of leftover veggies. Right: Almond flour gives this Dutch Baby Pancake some oomph while upping its nutritional content. it comes down to technology,” Turow writes. “In a land of over-stimulation, over-consumption, we are, in many ways, a malnourished generation.” Immersing themselves in the sensual pleasures of gardening, cooking from scratch, and taking photos of food is a backlash against technology, an antidote to living in a virtual world.

Despite living through one of the worst periods of unemployment and student loan debt in American history, Turow explores why Generation Yummers make it a priority to spend their hard-earned bucks on organic kale, homebrewing equipment, single origin coffee, and truffle cheese. They’re just not spending money on industrially produced boxed cereal. Cereal companies: You should be very, very nervous.

By 2017, Millennials will comprise more than one-fourth of the U.S. population, and are projected to have more spending power than any other generation. Milllennials are not just spending money on food, they are Tweeting and hashtagging their way to make impactful contributions to the Food Movement. Any Millennial foodie worth his or her organic salt knows the difference between cage-free and pastured eggs, grass fed and commodity beef, and is well-versed in the topics of food waste, fair wages for food workers, school lunches, community hunger, and how to sign up for a local CSA. Just for you, my Millennial friends, I offer three nutritious, from-scratch breakfasts that can be cooked and eaten out of a cast iron skillet. After all, I know that when you do make time for breakfast, you cook with carefully sourced, whole food ingredients. Many of the ingredients can be foraged from the depths of the fridge, thus reducing food waste. Why cast iron? It’s affordable cookware that lasts forever. Clean up is a snap—just wipe out the skillet and smear with a thin coat of oil. And if you Instagram, (and what Millennial foodie doesn’t?), a cast iron skillet breakfast is bound to glean tons of likes.

Dutch Baby Puffed Pancake

Moroccan Poached Eggs Makes up to six servings, depending on the size of your skillet Make the sauce ahead of time: Warm olive oil in a large skillet and add 1 pound ground elk, venison, bison, beef, lamb, or turkey. When cooked through, drain and set aside. Using the same pan, sauté 1 small-diced onion in 1 tablespoon of olive oil for about 5 minutes. Add 2 cloves of minced garlic, 1 teaspoon of cumin, 2 teaspoons smoked paprika, and a dash of cayenne.

Add 1/2 to 1 teaspoon of salt, to taste. Add the drained meat and 2, 15-ounce cans of diced tomatoes. Simmer over low heat for 20 minutes. When ready to eat, pour enough sauce to cover the bottom of a cast iron skillet and warm on the stovetop. Use a spoon to make a well in the sauce for each egg you want to add. Crack the eggs directly into the well, cover and poach for 3 to 5 minutes or place in the oven at 375 degrees until the eggs are done to your liking. Sprinkle with chopped cilantro or sprouts, and drizzle with yogurt before serving. Leftover sauce keeps in the fridge for up to five days or the freezer for up to three months.

BLT Skillet Breakfast Serves one or more, depending on the size of your skillet Make this veggie skillet with an assortment of leftovers from the fridge—roasted cauliflower, cubed sweet potatoes, caramelized onions, broccoli, asparagus. Substitute whatever cheese you have on hand for the feta, and ham for the bacon, or skip the meat altogether for #meatlessmonday.

Warm olive oil in a cast iron skillet over medium heat. Add 2 handfuls of kale or any other fresh, sturdy green and cook until wilted. Add a handful of cherry tomatoes, cut in half, and cook down until soft. Make a well with a spoon to accommodate each egg you want to cook. Crack the eggs directly into the well.

Sprinkle with crumbled feta and a few spoonfuls of leftover cooked and diced bacon. Cover and poach for 3 to 5 minutes or place in the oven at 375 degrees until the eggs are done to your liking. Sprinkle with fresh herbs, salt and pepper to taste. PJH

MARCH 9, 2016 | 23

Makes two 8-inch or three 6-inch pancakes If you make your own almond milk, here’s a good way to use the almond meal that’s left over. Just be sure to grind it to a fine powder. Replacing some of the all-purpose flour with almond (or hazelnut) flour gives the meal a boost of nutrition and flavor.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees and place your cast iron skillet in the oven to preheat. Place 3 extra large eggs and 1 tablespoon sugar in a blender and combine until light and frothy.

Add 2/3 cup whole milk, 1/3 cup almond flour, 1/3 cup all-purpose flour, 1 tsp. vanilla extract, 1 tsp. almond extract, and a generous pinch of salt. Blend until you have a thin batter. Place

1 tablespoon of butter in the cast iron pan and swirl to cover the bottom. Pour enough batter to cover the bottom of the skillet and return to the oven. Bake for 10 minutes for a 6-inch skillet, 12 minutes for an 8-inch one, or until the pancake is slightly puffed and brown around the edges. Top with berries, a dusting of confectioner’s sugar, and a drizzle of maple syrup. Leftover batter keeps in the fridge for up to three days.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

id anyone read The New York Times article last week about why Millennials—those born between the early 1980s and 2000s—don’t eat cereal? According to a 2015 report by Mintel, 40 percent of the Millennial Generation surveyed agreed that cereal was an inconvenient breakfast choice “because they had to clean up after eating it.”

The Washington Post embraced the study using it to declare laziness a national trend among young people.

“Millennials Too Lazy to Eat Cereal” read one headline, the story blaming parents who no longer assign their children chores. Millennial bashing is nothing new. Time magazine, for example, ran a cover story in 2013 entitled, “The me, me, me generation: Millennials are lazy, entitled narcissists who still live with their parents.”

Really? That doesn’t sound like any of the 15- to 32-yearolds I know—many of whom spend their time studying, working, starting businesses, raising small children, and volunteering for the community. What the Mintel study also said was that Millennials want less carbs and more portability in their breakfast choices. As they rush out the door to get to one of their numerous jobs they are more likely to grab a carton of yogurt than sit down to a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios.

Besides, a huge chunk of the Millennial Generation cares too much about where their food comes from to load up on sugary, nutritionally-anemic boxed cereal made from GMO corn. There may be disagreement over whether Millennial laziness is a thing but this age group’s obsession with food is a clear trend. Of the 80 million Millennials, more than half call themselves “foodies.” From Instagramming every meal (#avocadotoast) to spending upwards of 25 percent of their paychecks in restaurants, most in this age group are undeniably fixated on sourcing, cooking and enjoying food.

Author Eve Turow has a name for her food-obsessed cohorts: “Generation Yum.” In her book “A Taste of Generation Yum, How the Millennial Generation’s Love for Organic Fare, Celebrity Chefs and Microbrews Will Make or Break the Future of Food,” she digs deep into the reasons why her generation is intrigued by all aspects of food. “I really think

ANNIE FENN, MD

THE FOODIE FILES

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

24 | MARCH 9, 2016

BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

An Irish Afternoon Sipping Tullamore D.E.W. with a whiskey specialist.

BY TED SCHEFFLER @critic1

W

hen an Irishman who has embarked on a 30-day mission to drink at pubs in all 50 states recently popped into town, how could I say no to the opportunity to sip whiskey with him? He’d just been to Hawaii and Alaska, and was on his way to Albuquerque, N.M. It was an invitation I couldn’t resist.

Tim Herlihy looks barely old enough to drink, dressed casually in Converse low-tops rolling his carry-on suitcase around. He’s the New York City-based brand ambassador for Tullamore D.E.W., which means a lot of his time is spent traveling the country and educating all interested parties about Irish whiskey in general, and of Tullamore D.E.W., in particular. It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it. Herlihy is very good at his job. In 2015, Whisky Magazine

named him one of its Icons of Whisky as Best Irish Whiskey Ambassador.

Not a big whiskey drinker myself, I asked Herlihy for a primer in Irish whiskey versus Scotch. Both are made from grain, but that’s about as much as I knew. For starters (and most obviously), Irish whiskey must be distilled and aged solely in Ireland, just as Scotch whiskey must be made in Scotland.

Most Irish whiskey is triple-distilled (which is the case with Tullamore D.E.W.), while most Scotch whiskey is distilled twice. But probably the biggest difference in Scotch versus Irish is the use of peat in Scotland, which lends smoky notes to most Scotch whiskeys.

Irish whiskeys tend to have a smoother finish.

One thing that separates Tullamore D.E.W. from other Irish whiskeys is that it’s a blend of three types of Irish whiskey: grain, malted barley and pot-still whiskey. This blend results in a whiskey that is smooth— even buttery—but also complex.

As I take my first sip of Tullamore D.E.W. Original ($28), Herlihy explains the name of the company for which he works. “Tullamore D.E.W. gets its name from both the town of Tullamore located right in the center, right in the heart of Ireland,” he says, “while the D.E.W. in Tullamore D.E.W. is named after Daniel E. Williams, a man who went to work at the old Tullamore Distillery at the age of 14. Williams then climbed his way up

IMBIBE the corporate ladder of the distillery and eventually went on to own it. When he bought the Tullamore Distillery he lent his initials to every bottle: D.E.W.” Anyone who hails from Termonfeckin, Ireland, has to have a hearty sense of humor, and, as a Termonfeckinite, Herlihy does. He’s outgoing and very funny but still somewhat low-key.

You wouldn’t think to call him a “salesman”; he was almost as keen on talking about whiskeys of the Rocky Mountain West as he was his own.

Tullamore D.E.W. 12-Year-Old Special Reserve ($42) is unique.

Its texture is creamy, and there are distinct chocolate notes. But it’s also loaded with spice; the tip of my tongue burned like I’d been chewing on jalapeños, and I loved it.

As I enjoyed my Special Reserve, I mentioned that I

was planning to visit Paris soon. To my surprise, Herlihy told me that the bar with the world’s largest Irish whiskey selection—more than 330 of them—is in Paris. Naturally, it’s called Patrick’s.

Herlihy will wind up his U.S. pub crawl on St. Patrick’s Day in New York City at his favorite Manhattan bar, The Dead Rabbit. On the way to drop him off at the airport, I asked Herlihy if he doesn’t ever get tired of drinking whiskey. “Not really,” he said, “I’m Irish.” And with that, he rolled his luggage from the curb. PJH

POLKA NIGHT FEATURING THE

HOF POLKA BAND THURSDAY, 7PM-10PM GERMAN BEER SPECIALS 307.733.3242 | TETON VILLAGE

Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom and pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves!

ASIAN & CHINESE TETON THAI Serving the world’s most exciting cuisine.

Teton Thai offers a splendid array of flavors: sweet, hot, sour, salt and bitter. All balanced and blended perfectly, satisfying the most discriminating palate. Open daily. 7432 Granite Loop Road in Teton Village, (307) 7330022 and in Driggs, (208) 787-8424, tetonthai. com.

KIM’S CORNER Best ski food in the area! Korean and American style, from breakfast sandwiches, burgers, chicken tenders, Philly cheese steaks to rice bowls and noodles. Something for everyone!

Open Tuesday through Thursday, 9:30 a.m. to 7 p.m.; Friday through Sunday, 9:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. At base of Snow King between the ski patrol room and the ice rink. 100 E. Snow King Ave. Order ahead (307) 200-6544, facebook. com/Kimscornercafe.

THAI ME UP Home of Melvin Brewing Co. Freshly remodeled offering modern Thai cuisine in a relaxed setting. New tap system with 20 craft beers. New $8 wine list and extensive bottled beer menu. Open daily for dinner at 5pm.

Downtown at 75 East Pearl Street. View our tap list at thaijh.com/brews. 307-733-0005.

Cafe

- Snow King Mountain -

KOREAN & AMERICAN BREAKFAST & LUNCH BURGERS • FRIES RICE BOWLS • NOODLES (at Snow King Mtn between Ski Patrol & Ice Rink)

307.200.6544

®

Medium Pizza (1 topping) Stuffed Cheesy Bread

$ 13 99

for an extra $5.99/each

(307) 733-0330 520 S. Hwy. 89 • Jackson, WY

Serving authentic Swiss cuisine, the Alpenhof features European style breakfast entrées and alpine lunch fare. Dine in the Bistro for a casual meal or join us in the Alpenrose dining room for a relaxed dinner experience. Breakfast 7:30am-10am. Coffee & pastry 10am-11:30am.

Lunch 11:30am-3pm. Aprés 3pm-5:30pm.

Dinner 6pm-9pm. For reservations at the Bistro or Alpenrose, call 307-733-3242.

Lunch 11:30am Monday-Saturday Dinner 5:30pm Nightly

Dinner Nightly at 5:30pm 45 S. Glenwood Available for private events & catering For reservations please call 734-8038

HAPPY HOUR Daily 4-6:00pm

307.201.1717 | LOCALJH.COM ON THE TOWN SQUARE

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SALES@PLANETJH.COM OR 307.732.0299

THE BLUE LION A Jackson Hole favorite for 37 years. Join us in the charming atmosphere of a historic home. Ask a local about our rack of lamb.

Serving fresh fish, elk, poultry, steaks, and vegetarian entrées. Live acoustic guitar music most nights. Open at 5:30 p.m. Early Bird Special: 20% off entire bill between 5:306:00pm. Reservations recommended, walkins welcome. 160 N. Millward, (307) 733-3912, bluelionrestaurant.com.

CAFE GENEVIEVE Serving inspired home cooked classics in a historic log cabin. Enjoy brunch daily at 8 a.m., dinner nightly at 5 p.m., and happy hour daily 3-5:30 p.m. featuring $5 glasses of wine, $5 specialty drinks, $3 bottled beer. 135 E. Broadway, (307) 732-1910, genevievejh.com.

ELEANOR’S Enjoy all the perks of fine dining, minus the dress code at Eleanor’s, serving rich, saucy dishes in a warm and friendly setting.

MARCH 9, 2016 | 25

Large Specialty Pizza ADD: Wings (8 pc)

ALPENHOF

Local is a modern American steakhouse and bar located on Jackson’s historic town square.

Serving locally raised beef and, regional game, fresh seafood and seasonally inspired food, Local offers the perfect setting for lunch, drinks or dinner.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Tues-Thur 9:30am-7pm | Fri-Sun 9:30am-4pm 100 E. Snow King Ave

CONTINENTAL

Trio is located just off the town square in downtown Jackson, and is owned & operated by local chefs with a passion for good food.

Our menu features contemporary American dishes inspired by classic bistro cuisine. Daily specials feature wild game, fish and meats.

Enjoy a glass of wine at the bar in front of the wood-burning oven and watch the chefs perform in the open kitchen.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

26 | MARCH 9, 2016

Use the code “Planet” and get

15% off your order of $20 or more Order online at PizzeriaCaldera.com or via our app for iOS or Android.

11am - 9:30pm daily 20 W Broadway 307 - 201 - 1472

Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally FRESH FOOD at reasonable prices, is a always a FUN PLACE to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel RIGHT AT HOME and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit.

Reservations at (307) 733-4913 3295 Village Drive • Teton Village, WY

www.mangymoose.com

Eleanor’s is a primo brunch spot on Sunday afternoons. Its bar alone is an attraction, thanks to reasonably priced drinks and a loyal crowd.

Come get a belly-full of our two-time gold medal wings. Open at 11 a.m. daily. 832 W. Broadway, (307) 733-7901.

FULL STEAM SUBS The deli that’ll rock your belly. Jackson’s newest sub shop serves steamed subs, reubens, gyros, delicious all beef hot dogs, soups and salads. We offer Chicago style hot dogs done just the way they do in the windy city. Open daily11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Located just a short block north of the Town Square at 180 N. Center Street, (307) 733-3448.

LOCAL

Steamed Subs Hot Dogs Soups & Salads

The Deli That’ll Rock Your Belly 307-733-3448

Sun-Wed 11am-4pm, Thur-Sat 11am-8pm 180 N. Center St. | 1 block n. of Town Square Next to Home Ranch Parking Lot

Local, a modern American steakhouse and bar, is located on Jackson’s historic town square.

Our menu features both classic and specialty cuts of locally-ranched meats and wild game alongside fresh seafood, shellfish, house-ground burgers, and seasonally-inspired food. We offer an extensive wine list and an abundance of locally-sourced products. Offering a casual and vibrant bar atmosphere with 12 beers on tap as well as a relaxed dining room, Local is the perfect spot to grab a burger for lunch or to have drinks and dinner with friends. Lunch Mon-Sat 11:30am.

Dinner Nightly 5:30pm. 55 North Cache, (307) 201-1717, localjh.com.

LOTUS CAFE Serving organic, freshly-made world cuisine while catering to all eating styles. Endless organic and natural meat, vegetarian, vegan and glutenfree choices. Offering super smoothies, fresh extracted juices, espresso and tea. Full bar and house-infused botanical spirits. Open daily 8am for breakfast lunch and dinner. 145 N. Glenwood St., (307) 734-0882, tetonlotuscafe.com.

MANGY MOOSE

Breakfast Lunch & Dinner ••••••••• Open daily 8am 145 N. Glenwood (307) 734-0882

WWW.TETONLOTUSCAFE.COM

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

20%OFF ENTIRE BILL

Good between 5:30-6pm • Open nightly at 5:30pm

733-3912 160 N. Millward

Make your reservation online at bluelionrestaurant.com

THE LOCALS

FAVORITE PIZZA 2012, 2013 & 2014 •••••••••

FAMILY FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT

$7

PIZZAS, PASTAS & MORE HOUSEMADE BREAD & DESSERTS FRESH, LOCALLY SOURCED OFFERINGS TAKE OUT AVAILABLE Dining room and bar open nightly at 5:00pm (307) 733-2460 • 2560 Moose Wilson Road • Wilson, WY

A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965

$4 Well Drink Specials

LUNCH

SPECIAL Slice, salad & soda

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

TV Sports Packages and 7 Screens

Under the Pink Garter Theatre (307) 734-PINK • www.pinkygs.com

Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally fresh food at reasonable prices, is a always a fun place to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel right at home and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit. Teton Village, (307) 733-4913, mangymoose.com.

SNAKE RIVER BREWERY & RESTAURANT America’s most award-winning microbrewery is serving lunch and dinner. Take in the atmosphere while enjoying wood-fired pizzas, pastas, burgers, sandwiches, soups, salads and desserts. $9 lunch menu. Happy hour 4 to 6 p.m., including tasty hot wings. The freshest beer in the valley, right from the source! Free WiFi. Open 11:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. 265 S. Millward. (307) 739-2337, snakeriverbrewing.com.

SWEETWATER Satisfying locals for lunch and dinner for over 36 years with deliciously affordable comfort food.

Extensive local and regional beer list. Lunch 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. features blackened trout salad, elk melt, wild west chili and vegetarian specialties. Dinner 5:30 to 9 p.m. including potato-crusted trout, 16 ounce ribeye, vegan and wild game. Reservations welcome. (307) 7333553. sweetwaterjackson.com.

TRIO Owned and operated by Chefs with a passion for good food, Trio is located right off the Town square in downtown Jackson. Featuring a variety of cuisines in a relaxed atmosphere, Trio is famous for its wood-oven pizzas, specialty cocktails and waffle fries with bleu cheese fondue. Dinner nightly at 5:30 p.m. Reservations.

(307) 734-8038 or bistrotrio.com.

ITALIAN CALICO A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965, the Calico continues to be one of the most popular restaurants in the Valley. The Calico offers the right combination of really good food, (much of which is grown in our own gardens in the summer), friendly staff; a reasonably priced menu and a large selection of wine. Our bar scene is eclectic with a welcoming vibe. Open nightly at 5 p.m. 2560 Moose Wilson Rd., (307) 733-2460.

MEXICAN EL ABUELITO Serving authentic Mexican cuisine and appetizers in a unique Mexican atmosphere. Home of the original Jumbo Margarita. Featuring a full bar with a large selection of authentic Mexican beers. Lunch served weekdays 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Nightly dinner specials. Open seven days, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. 385 W. Broadway, (307) 733-1207.

PIZZA DOMINO’S PIZZA Hot and delicious delivered to your door. Handtossed, deep dish, crunchy thin, Brooklyn style and artisan pizzas; bread bowl pastas, and oven baked sandwiches; chicken wings, cheesy breads and desserts. Delivery. 520 S. Hwy. 89 in Kmart Plaza, (307) 733-0330.

PINKY G’S The locals favorite! Voted Best Pizza in Jackson Hole 2012, 2013 and 2014. Seek out this hidden gem under the Pink Garter Theatre for NY pizza by the slice, salads, stromboli’s, calzones and many appetizers to choose from. Try the $7 ‘Triple S’ lunch special.Happy hours 10 p.m. - 12 a.m. Sun.- Thu. Text PINK to 71441 for discounts.

Delivery and take-out. Open daily 11a.m. to 2 a.m. 50 W. Broadway, (307) 734-PINK.

PIZZERIA CALDERA Jackson Hole’s only dedicated stone-hearth oven pizzeria, serving Napolitana-style pies using the freshest ingredients in traditional and creative combinations. Five local micro-brews on tap, a great selection of red and white wines by the glass and bottle, and one of the best views of the Town Square from our upstairs deck. Daily lunch special includes slice, salad or soup, any two for $8. Happy hour: half off drinks by the glass from 4 - 6 daily. Dine in or carry out. Or order online at PizzeriaCaldera.com, or download our app for iOS or Android. Open from 11am - 9:30pm daily at 20 West Broadway. 307-201-1472.

SUDOKU

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

BEST OF JACKSON HOLE

STEP R IGHT UP TO THE

RATES FP.....$1080 3/4.....$810 2/3.....$720 1/2.....$540 1/3.....$360 1/4.....$270 1/6.....$180 1/8.....$135 1/12.....$90

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WINNERS ANNOUNCED IN THE MARCH 23RD ISSUE! CALL 307.732.0299

L.A.TIMES “PLUGGED NICKEL” By Don Gagliardo & C.c. Burnikel

SUNDAY, MARCH 13, 2016

87 Sharp turns 88 All square 89 __ the crack of dawn 91 Time to give up?

93 Hamlet and Victor Borge 94 Ace garage door mechanic?

97 Ralph Lauren’s “Celebrate Radio” clothing line?

99 Where Puccini’s “Turandot” premiered 101 Salon, say 102 Patio door 106 In the thick of 109 Game with melding 114 Superhero who doesn’t do well in a crisis?

116 Carrier pigeon’s daily delivery?

118 Airbrush target 119 Explosive first used as a yellow dye 120 Subside 121 Scottish feudal lord 122 Wicked one’s lack?

123 Garden chopper 124 Controversial blasts 125 Gossip queen

78 Painter’s undercoat 79 Universal donor’s type, briefly 81 Gomer Pyle exclamation 82 Thus 85 Pasta suffix 87 Heat up quickly 89 Hesitant sounds 90 Hot and spicy 92 Alley lurkers 93 It’s good to lose with it 95 Juice: Abbr.

96 Geniality 97 Reached the big time 98 Chicken vindaloo go-with 100 Singer Ronstadt 102 Practice for a bout 103 Bra fabric 104 Holiday lodgings?

105 South Beach, for one 107 __’Pea 108 General __ chicken 110 1975 Wimbledon champ 111 Asian country suffix 112 Lawn party rental 113 Interior designer’s statistic 115 “Is that __?”

117 “Stop filming!”

MARCH 9, 2016 | 27

Down 10 Digital indulgence 20 Came down 30 Ultra Leakguards brand 40 Polish for publication 50 Fourth-year group 60 __ water 70 Metaphorical facial embarrassment 80 Coaxes from a lamp, with “out” 90 Canter or trot 10 Really tick off 11 “__ say ... ” 12 Chuckle-inducing 13 Oral health org.

14 Alaska Range highlight 15 Loungewear item

16 Wilson of “Marley & Me” 17 Leon Uris’ “__ 18” 18 Elongated fish 24 Desktop since 1998 26 Persian Gulf land 29 Come __: lose one’s composure 32 Vending machine item 34 Tokyo-born artist 35 Spaghetti __ 36 Gestation sites 37 Addams family patriarch 38 Mil. address 39 Key, e.g.

40 Stable negative?

42 Econ. measure 43 Anti at the ballpark 44 Full of nervous energy 45 Deep-six 48 Sonata finale 52 According to 53 Leader who gave up cigarsmoking in 1985 54 Polish relative 56 Checks for errors 57 Mideast language 58 Late-night show since 2010 59 Biomedical research agcy.

60 Insect stage after pupa 63 Theater chain initials 66 Johnny __ 68 Pa. airport north of PIT 69 Ring Cycle composer 70 Treasure stash 71 “As You Like It” forest 72 Close 73 Top 10 song 74 __ Gay 76 Bingo cousin 77 Word from the Latin for “messenger”

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Across 10 Compares poorly 60 Unites 12 Scoundrel 15 Terminus of all roads?

19 Slip past 20 Lizard with a dewlap 21 Coleridge wrote one on dejection 22 Scrape, in totspeak 23 Flier with a magical rod?

25 Signal that nails are dry?

27 “We gotta go” 28 Work in a park, perhaps 30 Fight sites 31 Couple in a boat 33 Venice glider 35 Sweet tooth?

41 Nocturnal critter enjoying a meal?

46 Sporty auto roofs 47 Cut with a beam 48 First name in fashion 49 Word accompanying fingershaking 50 San __: jet set resort 51 Many an earring 53 A grand’s ten 55 “__ you serious?”

56 Rejection of a parcel?

61 Slow start?

62 Founder of what is now Lima 64 Drag racing gp.

065 “My bad!”

67 Showed pain 69 “__ I done?”

70 Eatery serving filled fare 72 First park with a Home Run Apple 75 Potpourri 79 Hockey great 80 Part of the ad that sells the product?

83 67.5 deg.

84 DVD player error message 86 Call before a snap

SALES@PLANETJH.COM

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

28 | MARCH 9, 2016

The Voice Inside Tap into your intuition to glean inspiration and solve pressing issues.

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is its faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” —Albert Einstein

O

ur human awareness is so remarkable. We are wired to focus on the world in which we live, and at the same time we are also connected to the higher intelligence of the greater cosmos. The linkup to the “cosmic connection” is our soul (spirit/higher consciousness). When we receive information “out of the blue” from the universe, we refer to it as intuition. This invaluable guidance system bypasses the thinking mind and the ego to reveal a path for living up to our highest potential. The best news is that access to intuition is built into each one of us.

Ancient wisdom meets modern science Wisdom teachers throughout history have always taught that the link to our soul and to the higher intelligence of the universe is the human heart. Now we also have some confirming evidence of this from science.

For close to 20 years, researchers at HeartMath Institute in California have conducted rigorous studies proving that the heart is its own super-powerful intelligence center that informs and entrains the brain. One series of studies focused on how we access signals related to premonition and intuition. What they discovered is that the heart is the first to pick up intuitive information, even before the brain. The heart appears to be our most important center of perception with access to the highest level of intelligence.

How intuition speaks to us When the heart receives information from higher intelligence/ soul/spirit it bypasses the rational mind and presents itself in many forms including: “that little voice inside,” a gut sense, a feeling that comes over you, shivers, a message in a dream, a hunch, tears, or direct knowing (the experience of just knowing something). Being aware of intuitive signals is a failsafe way of knowing courses of action for our greater good, receiving flashes of insight and inspiration, avoiding danger, and solving challenging problems. Intuitive information streams in and travels directly from a problem to an elegant solution.

Fully benefiting from the guidance received by the soul/spirit/ cosmos via our heart has three key components.

First, is being mindful of the signals trying to get our attention.

This requires a quiet mind, an open heart, and being self-aware.

Second, is developing the confidence to value intuitive information. The more you value your link to higher intelligence, the more valuable your intuition will become.

Third, is the courage to act on what you know is true. It’s no accident that our word “courage” comes from the French word “coeur,” which means heart.

Famous scientists on intuition Many acclaimed scientists (and artists) credit their intuition for giving them their biggest discoveries. They inevitably come upon spiritual truths as they probe the secrets of the universe.

In closing, here are three more quotes about intuition from scientific luminaries. From Dr. Jonas Salk, creator of the polio vaccine: “Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.”

French mathematician and theoretical physicist Henri Poincare once said, “It is through science that we prove, but through intuition that we discover.”

And as I began this article with a quote from Albert Einstein, I invite you to reflect on these words from him, too: “The only real thing is intuition.” PJH

Carol Mann is a longtime Jackson resident, radio personality, former Grand Targhee Resort owner, author, and clairvoyant.

Got a Cosmic Question? Email carol@yourcosmiccafe.com

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Anti-Aging from the Inside-Out Regain Your Energy Balance Your Mood & Hormones Fix Your Low Thyroid Find Your Food Sensitivities Fix Your Leaky Gut Lose the Fat Have Great Sleep Naturally Try Hyperbarics for Oxygen

MARCH 9, 2016 | 29

the latest happenings in jackson hole

SATIRE

Racial Equality at the Academy Awards

BY CLYDE THORNHILL

pjhcalendar.com

T H E H O L E C A L E N D A R .CO M

YOUR SUMMER GUIDE TO ALL OF THE HAPPENINGS IN THE HOLE! COMING THIS JUNE.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

30 | MARCH 9, 2016

REDNECK PERSPECTIVE

E M A I L S A L E S @ P L A N E TJ H .CO M

“I

boycotted the Academy Awards this year,” Susie told me. “I’m upset there were no black nominees despite several outstanding performances by black actors,” she complained. “Academy voters are 94 percent white, 77 percent male, and average 63 years old! It’s just not fair!”

I had attended Susie’s Academy Awards party each year until she married Manchester and moved to the Pines. Because we continued our “romantic encounters” after she married, it would be awkward for me to attend Awards parties with her and Manchester. So for the last several years I have been free to spend the evening playing poker or romanticizing with Lill, Alice or a sundry selection of Utah girls, and bask in the knowledge that Manchester was suffering through a three-hour orgy of pompous self glorifying celebrities ripping open envelopes to breathlessly announce winner of Best Movie, Best Director, Best Makeup and Hair Styling, Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing, Best Tuna Salad at Studio, Best Tuna Salad at Location, Best Tuna Salad Song, Best Supporting Dill Pickle, Best Supporting Dill Pickle Relish, and on and on and on! And now Susie tells me Manchester bailed out!

I’m pissed off at the old white men at the Academy too!

As Susie and I hadn’t expressed the physical aspect of our

illicit affair for a few days I made an attempt to sound like I cared.

“Should a vote for artistic ability be subject to social concerns such as racial equality?” I asked. “Wouldn’t that degrade the integrity of the award and be an insult to minority actors?”

While I have no interest in integrity— artistic or otherwise—and my idea of societal equality would be free pickup trucks for everyone, I was happy to throw out a few big words to impress Susie and move the conversation toward an evening of lust and her making biscuits and gravy for breakfast!

“Clearly a group that is predominantly male, white and old, doesn’t inspire integrity,” I continued. “Why would any performer want to be honored by such an empty award?”

I am often impressed at my ability to discuss a subject that no one cares about with academic rigor and moral superiority. Maybe someday I could even become a Democrat!

Then I had an idea: “Why don’t you come to my trailer tonight for the Hog Island Film Critics Association Awards!” I exclaimed.

“That will be great,” Susie said. Then she frowned. “You will consider minorities for awards?”

“We have strict requirements for choosing winners,” I assured Susie. “Race is not considered one way or the other.”

I told her the criteria for the Hog Island Film Critics Association Awards were as follows: Best Actress: The prettiest girl who takes off her clothes the most.

Best Actor: The good guy who shoots the most bad guys.

Best Picture: The film combining the most Best Actress, Best Actor scenes.

“Oh Clyde,” she cooed, “you’re the most socially aware single-wide trailer dweller in all Hog Island!”

I blushed modestly. “Maybe in the top five,” I suggested. PJH

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

WINDSHIELDS

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19) “He in his madness prays for storms, and dreams that storms will bring him peace,” wrote Leo Tolstoy in his novella The Death of Ivan Ilych. The weird thing is, Aries, that this seemingly crazy strategy might actually work for you in the coming days. The storms you pray for, the tempests you activate through the power of your longing, could work marvels. They might clear away the emotional congestion, zap the angst and usher you into a period of dynamic peace. So I say: Dare to be gusty and blustery and turbulent.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Poet W. H. Auden said there are two kinds of poets: argument-makers and beauty-makers. I think that’s an interesting way to categorize all humans, not just poets.

Which are you? Even if you usually tend to be more of an argument-maker, I urge you to be an intense beauty-maker in the next few weeks. And if you’re already a pretty good beauty-maker, I challenge you to become, at least temporarily, a great beauty-maker. One more thing: As much as possible, until April 1, choose beauty-makers as your companions.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) To have any hope of becoming an expert in your chosen field, you’ve got to labor for at least 10,000 hours to develop the necessary skills—the equivalent of 30 hours a week for six and a half years. But according to author William Deresiewicz, many young graphic designers no longer abide by that rule. They regard it as more essential to cultivate a network of connections than to perfect their artistic mastery. Getting 10,000 contacts is their priority, not working 10,000 hours. But I advise you not to use that approach in the coming months, Gemini.

According to my reading of the astrological omens, you will be better served by improving what you do rather than by increasing how many people you know.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) “I sit before flowers, hoping they will train me in the art of opening up,” says poet Shane Koyczan. “I stand on mountain tops believing that avalanches will teach me to let go.” I recommend his strategy to you in the coming weeks, Cancerian. Put yourself in the presence of natural forces that will inspire you to do what you need to do.

Seek the companionship of people and animals whose wisdom and style you want to absorb. Be sufficiently humble to learn from the whole wide world through the art of imitation.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) “Even now, all possible feelings do not yet exist,” says novelist Nicole Krauss. In the coming weeks, I suspect you will provide vivid evidence of her declaration, Scorpio. You may generate an unprecedented number of novel emotions—complex flutters and flows and gyrations that have never before been experienced by anyone in the history of civilization. I think it’s important that you acknowledge and celebrate them as being unique—that you refrain from comparing them to feelings you’ve had in the past or feelings that other people have had. To harvest their full blessing, treat them as marvelous mysteries.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “Look at yourself then,” advised author Ray Bradbury.

“Consider everything you have fed yourself over the years. Was it a banquet or a starvation diet?” He wasn’t talking about literal food. He was referring to the experiences you provide yourself with, to the people you bring into your life, to the sights and sounds and ideas you allow to pour into your precious imagination. Now would be an excellent time to take inventory of this essential question, Sagittarius. And if you find there is anything lacking in what you feed yourself, make changes!

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) According to a report in the journal Science, most of us devote half of our waking time to thinking about something besides the activity we’re actually engaged in. We seem to love to ruminate about what used to be and what might have been and what could possibly be.

Would you consider reducing that amount in the next 15 days, Capricorn? If you can manage to cut it down even a little, I bet you will accomplish small feats of magic that stabilize and invigorate your future. Not only that: You will feel stronger and smarter. You’ll have more energy.

You’ll have an excellent chance to form an enduring habit of staying more focused on the here and now.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) One of the legal financial scams that shattered the world economy in 2008 was a product called a Collateralized Debt Obligation Squared. It was sold widely, even though noted economist Ha-Joon Chang says that potential buyers had to read a billion pages of documents if they hoped to understand it. In the coming weeks, I think it’s crucial that you Aquarians avoid getting involved with stuff like that—with anything or anyone requiring such vast amounts of homework. If it’s too complex to evaluate accurately, stay uncommitted, at least for now.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) “I wish I knew what I desire,” wrote Palestinian poet Mahmoud Darwish, born under the sign of Pisces. “I wish I knew! I wish I knew!” If he were still alive today, I would have very good news for him, as I do for all of you Pisceans reading this horoscope. The coming weeks will be one of the best times ever—EVER!—for figuring out what exactly it is you desire. Not just what your ego yearns for. Not just what your body longs for. I’m talking about the whole shebang. You now have the power to home in on and identify what your ego, your body, your heart, and your soul want more than anything else in this life.

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

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MARCH 9, 2016 | 31

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) In old Vietnamese folklore, croaking frogs were a negative symbol. They were thought to resemble dull teachers who go on and on with their boring and pointless lectures. But in many other cultures, frogs have been symbols of regeneration and resurrection due to the dramatic transformations they make from egg to tadpole to full-grown adult. In ancient India, choruses of croaks were a sign of winter’s end, when spring rains arrived to fertilize the earth and bestow a promise of the growth to come. I suspect that the frog will be one of your emblems in the coming weeks, Virgo—for all of the above reasons. Your task is to overcome the boring stories and messages so as to accomplish your lively

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) “Your anger is a gift.” So proclaims musician and activist Zack de la Rocha, singer in the band Rage Against The Machine. That statement is true for him on at least two levels. His fury about the systemic corruption that infects American politics has roused him to create many successful songs and enabled him to earn a very good living. I don’t think anger is always a gift for all of us, however. Too often, especially when it’s motivated by petty issues, it’s a self-indulgent waste of energy that can literally make us sick. Having said that, I do suspect that your anger in the coming week will be more like de la Rocha’s: productive, clarifying, healthy.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) The marathon is a long-distance footrace with an official length of over 26 miles. Adults who are physically fit and well-trained can finish the course in five hours. But I want to call your attention to a much longer running event: the Self-Transcendence 3,100-Mile Race. It begins every June in Queens, a borough of New York City, and lasts until August. Those who participate do 3,100 miles’ worth of laps around a single city block, or about 100 laps per day. I think that this is an apt metaphor for the work you now have ahead of you. You must cover a lot of ground as you accomplish a big project, but without traveling far and wide. Your task is to be dogged and persistent as you do a little at a time, never risking exhaustion, always pacing yourself.

transformations.

32 | MARCH 9, 2016

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |