Planet JH 3.16.16

JACKSON HOLE’S ALTERNATIVE VOICE | PLANETJH.COM | MARCH 16-22, 2016

The

GOLDEN Rendezvous

Top-notch bands set for a bustling, histori the foundation cal w JHMR celebrates 50 eekend as years.

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H

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

2 | MARCH 16, 2016

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JACKSON HOLE'S ALTERNATIVE VOICE

VOLUME 14 | ISSUE 10 | MARCH 16-22, 2016

10 COVER STORY

THE GOLDEN RENDEZVOUS Top-notch bands set the foundation for a bustling, historical weekend as JHMR celebrates 50 years.

6 REPORTER’S NOTEBOOK 20 GET OUT 8 THE BUZZ

24 IMBIBE

16 CREATIVE PEAKS

30 SATIRE

18 MUSIC BOX

31 ASTROLOGY

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March 16, 2016

By Meteorologist Jim Woodmencey

I

f you are still awake at 10:30 p.m. local time this Saturday, March 19th, then hoist a glass and welcome the Vernal Equinox. By the way, that was not named for a town in Utah, Vernal is the Latin term for Spring. Moving forward from here, our days get longer, and temperatures should get progressively warmer. Average daily high temperatures this week are up over 40-degrees.

Overnight low temperatures still average out to be in the upper teens.

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Rarely do we see below zero temperatures in Jackson once we get this deep into March.

All of our record low temperatures for the month of March were established in the 1950’s, 1960’s and early 1970’s, during a period when we were experiencing what was then called, “global cooling”. The record coldest temperature this week in Jackson was set back on March 16th, 1955. It’s been hard to beat temperatures like that for the last 60-years.

When I look back at record high temperatures in mid-March there are a few years that really stick out: 1934, 1994, and 2004. There must be something about having a “4” at the end of the year that makes it so warm. That’s just a theory, and I have no scientific evidence to support that. Plus, the warmest we have ever been during this week occurred in 2007, when it was 64-degrees on St. Patrick’s Day. So, there goes that theory.

NORMAL HIGH NORMAL LOW RECORD HIGH IN 2007 RECORD LOW IN 1955

42 17 64 -25

THIS MONTH AVERAGE PRECIPITATION: 1.23 inches RECORD PRECIPITATION: 4.2 inches (1995) AVERAGE SNOWFALL: 11 inches RECORD SNOWFALL: 33 inches (1938)

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MARCH 16, 2016 | 3

Jim has been forecasting the weather here for more than 20 years. You can find more Jackson Hole Weather information at www.mountainweather.com

WHAT’S COOL WHAT’S HOT

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JH ALMANAC

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4 | MARCH 16, 2016

GUEST OPINION (For)Got Conservation?

The blueprint is there, now citizens must ensure electeds follow it.

BY CRAIG BENJAMIN

I

never imagined I would look forward to any season more than I look forward to ski season. For nearly my entire life, I’ve spent all summer and fall looking forward to the moments that make ski season so addicting. Like the moment this Monday morning where I stood above 15 hundred feet of blower pow, turned to two good friends, smiled, then dropped in and completely lost myself in a feeling of pure joy.

During that moment when I floated down a mountain, time stood still, and I was completely connected with nature.

Then, I rediscovered camping.

I grew up car camping and backpacking with my family and always loved it, but over the past decade camping was not a part of my life. Living in Seattle, camping was a challenge.

It’s often soggy and wet and hard to escape the crowds and find yourself alone in nature without taking more than a long weekend off work. But when we moved back to Jackson three years ago it was a hassle to camp—our kids were one and four respectively. Dealing with toddlers in a cold tent just didn’t have that much appeal to us (yeah, I know, lots of you tentcamp with little ones, and you have my utmost respect).

Then, my wife Stacy convinced me to make one of the best decisions we’ve ever made.

Last May, we bought a pop-up camper trailer. All of the hassles that used to make camping a pain disappeared. We had comfortable beds, a heater to keep us and the kids warm at night, hot water to clean up, and a place to hang out and stay dry when the weather went foul. We spent nearly every weekend last summer camping with our kids and other families. I can honestly say it’s as addicting as skiing pow. Waking up to the rattling bugle calls of sandhill cranes. Sitting around the campfire with good friends, a countless number of stars

lighting up the night sky. Soaking in a high-mountain stream while our kids splash and play. No distractions from cell phones. Exploring and discovering new zones. All summer I found myself completely lost in these moments, feeling pure joy, connected with nature. I can’t wait for camping season.

Being close to nature with opportunities for outdoor recreation, that’s what living in Jackson Hole is all about.

With hopes of late-winter pow and the impending camping season on my mind, I headed up to Spring Creek Ranch last Thursday for the inaugural 22 in 21 State of Our Environment conference. Hosted by the Charture Institute, the conference garnered nearly 150 people to discuss challenging questions like, what is the state of our environment? How do we know?

And how can we interact with nature in a way that allows both our economy and environment to thrive (especially given 250 years of history indicate this is nearly an impossible accomplishment given our existing economic paradigm)?

The day’s discussion focused on how we can achieve the vision of our community’s Comprehensive Plan, which was prominently displayed on a placard at every table: “Preserve and protect the area’s ecosystem in order to ensure a healthy environment, community and economy for current and future generations.”

When I wasn’t distracted by the spring sunlight illuminating the Tetons, which kept drawing my attention away from the conversation at hand, I was inspired by the passion in the room and the collective wisdom being shared as to how our community could achieve our shared vision of a better future.

I became frustrated though, when our discussion turned to the final question of the day: “What one action could we take that would make it more likely to achieve the Comprehensive Plan’s vision?” At our table and at tables across the room, smart, well-informed people engaged in earnest discussions about what we could do.

Here’s the thing, we already know what to do. The Comprehensive Plan lists hundreds of actions our community should take to help achieve our community’s shared vision of a better future. It outlines the establishment of a dedicated funding source for conservation easements and other measures that protect wildlife habitat, habitat connectivity and scenery valued by the community. It directs us to leverage this funding for wildlife protection efforts such as wildlife highway crossings. It advises us to evaluate the mitigation

SNOW PACK REPORT

standards for impacts to critical habitat and habitat connections and update them as needed and to improve fencing standards to make them safer for wildlife. These are among the hundreds of other great ideas that the Comprehensive Plan (comprehensively) lists.

The problem isn’t that we don’t know what to do to achieve our shared vision. The problem is we need to hold our local elected representatives accountable for doing what needs to be done.

That’s why the one action our table suggested was for everyone in the room to write our local elected representatives and ask them to allocate a small percentage of the Community Priorities Fund toward the establishment and operation of a wildlife and open space program. This program would leverage and complement existing private land conservation efforts and work innovatively to achieve our ecosystem stewardship goals.

Yes, we should prioritize addressing our housing and transportation challenges, but if we’re going to develop a fund to address our community’s priorities, we should ensure it addresses our community’s highest priority and long-term vision of a better future. It’s easy to focus on addressing the hot issues of the day. It’s hard to have the discipline necessary to make decisions in the best long-term interest of the community.

We could have also asked people to write our elected representatives and ask that they prioritize updating our natural resources regulations, or fund a network of wildlife crossings, or develop a functional conservation incentive program for the update to our Downtown land use rules. Because all of these things should get done, but the point is we know what we need to do and it’s up to us to hold our elected representatives accountable for doing it.

The time for talk is over. It’s time for action. It’s our responsibility to hold our elected representatives accountable for prioritizing conservation and actions that directly align with our Comprehensive Plan and our community’s vision of a better future. So please, write the Jackson Town Council and Teton County Board of Commissioners today and ask them to remember what Jackson Hole is all about and make conservation a priority. PJH Craig Benjamin is the execuitve director of the Jackson Hole Conservation Alliance. Email comments to editor@planetjh. com.

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WINTER 2.0 = A DANGEROUS SNOWPACK

Y

our prayers to Ullr worked—Old Man Winter decided to make another appearance in the Tetons! We saw just a few inches of snow last week, the most falling on Thursday and totaling four inches. But by contrast, this week’s storm that started early Sunday and went strong well into Tuesday, has deposited more than two feet of snow. If that does not get you out of bed, I am not sure what will. This much fresh is enough to incite dawn patrol sessions before work or, for some, skipping work altogether.

But along with the excitement of the snow should be a focus on safety in the backcountry. On Sunday, we felt a west-southwest wind traveling at 25mph, and on Monday we had another 16 inches with a west wind averaging 50 mph. Six skier-triggered avalanches were recorded Sunday, all averaging around a foot mostly on the southeast aspect. With this information, expect wind slabs on north to southeast aspects with depths of around two feet deep, or the depth of the new snow.

Last week, we could ski just about anything with little fear.

This week, however, there is enough new snow that slough slides could knock skiers and snowboarders off their feet and bury them. Mitigate potential danger by making wise terrain choices. Terrain traps would be best avoided as snow can accumulate in these areas, quickly burying a person. Extra care should be taken when skiing above trees, rocks and cliffs as well.

Avalanche forecasters at Bridger Teton Avalanche Center warn that, “At the mid and upper elevations large soft slab avalanches are likely to be human triggered in steep terrain and could release naturally.” Read: This is one fragile snowpack.

By the time the weekend rolls around, however, the snow should be more settled. Enjoy one of this winter’s last hurrahs while you can.

Stay safe and pray for more snow.

– Steve Weiss

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REPORTER’S NOTEBOOK Caucasian Caucus-ness Does GOP stand for Grossly Over Procedural?

(Or, five hours of my life I’ll never get back?)

BY NATOSHA HODUSKI @NatoshaHoduski

A

ttending the Republican Party Caucus on March 12 was not particularly high on my to-do list.

I found myself in a swath of men with the square strut of affected importance, and women who match their clothing to their political allegiance: ruby red. It was a first name basis, white-collar group of Grand Old Party Teton conservatives.

The running tally of Reagan references landed somewhere in the dozens if you count the quote cards at every table. I may never understand the lionization. But I can get behind his pride in democracy. Reagan once wrote, “Democracy is worth dying for, because it’s the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man.” There’s always been this tension in our government: Are we a democracy or are we a republic? For the most part, we’re a republic. We elect philosopher-kings to represent us because that’s their job: to know the system, to be morally superior, to be platonic ideals.

But what happens when our philosopher kings aren’t good people? In all honesty, I was mildly shocked when some of the delegates at the Teton County caucus offered unapologetic displays of religious bigotry. In one instance the microphone-enhanced melodramatic speech began like this: “I’ve studied the Quran, and you know what I’ve learned? Islam is our enemy. Not part of Islam; Islam is our enemy.” The rhetoric was dished by a whitewashed 60-something. He continued to say that he did not think the religion of Islam, and ostensibly its worshippers, should have any part in the future of the United States.

And what really pains me is these delegates are embarrassingly under-representative of what the Republican Party should strive to be. Saturday’s caucus was composed of an unelected delegation of mostly rich white people. And those WASPs, who game the system well enough to be present, elected John Baker (hashtag: richwhitemale)

to represent the county at the Republican National Convention. When Joe Schloss (#richwhitemale) lost after the third run-off of votes, he made a joke about saving himself three grand.

That’s because, as (now former) Chairwoman JuliAnne Forrest estimated, it will cost several thousand dollars to attend the RNC after the flights, food, hotels, and fees are calculated. Based on median income in Teton County, that would cost a citizen at least three weeks’ wages. I’ll venture to say most of us couldn’t afford the nomination to represent the county. (Editor’s note: Forrest announced Monday she would resign from her position as chair in light of Trump’s win in Teton County.)

What’s more, there are other costs. The process is long. Who on earth has five hours to vote on a delegate? Other than selecting a national delegate, the caucus is also a time when county delegates get to work on county bylaws and vote on the language of the Republican Party platforms, which is cool.

That’s the community having a real hand in politics, but it’s also incredibly limiting.

If I wasn’t being paid to be there, there’s no way I could have afforded to sit through the five-hour process. And I think that’s true for a lot of us. In this tourist town, taking that much time off from work on a Saturday is not feasible.

But even if you did have the money laying around, if you are registered as anything but a Republican or a Democrat, you don’t get a say. Both Republicans and Democrats use the closed caucus system in Wyoming, leaving more than 10 percent of its registered voters disenfranchised. There are currently about 201,000 registered voters in Wyoming.

Around 22,500 of those did not register with either of the two primary parties.

Delegate Wally Ulrich told me he was saddened that there wasn’t an opportunity for independents to have a say, but that he still believed the caucus was the best system for Wyoming. Being geographically sparsely populated, Wyoming’s citizens get the opportunity to really come together and be involved in the system, he said.

It makes sense to me why those who understand the system like it.

If you’re a delegate your vote really, really counts. In a standard primary, your vote is one out of more than 4,700 registered Teton County Republicans. In a caucus system, if you make delegate, that influence is bettered to about one in 60.

So that’s my real problem: the caucus system is elitist and confusing. I sat through all five hours of voter run-offs trying to figure out how exactly these people of Teton County were granted the right to endorse a Donald

“I sat through five hours of voter runoffs trying to figure out how exactly these people were granted the right to endorse a Donald Trump Future.”

Trump future. I literally enlisted the help of my father, who teaches political science. He spent at least 15 minutes trying to explain it to me. It took additional help from former Representative Keith Gingery before I felt like I had the information on lock.

In a later discussion, Gingery told me he thought the votes had gone to Trump because the delegates actually understood the convoluted caucus system well enough to use it to their advantage. A political system should not be so confusing it can be used to manipulate the results.

Seriously, here is a breakdown of how a caucus works.

From start-to-finish it takes a month and a half. On March 1, a very select group of people in each precinct of Teton County who actually fathom the caucus system got together and decided who would represent the precincts at this year’s county caucus. These are mostly power players in the community, political wonks, or very bored retirees.

Then, on March 12, the delegates that were selected get together to vote on an even more select group of people. One of the votes they take is for Teton County’s national delegate that will go to the Republican National Convention in July, where Republicans decide on their Presidential nominee. But not even that is simple. Every four years, the delegate for Sublette County and Teton County is flip-flopped. This year Teton County gets to select the delegate and Sublette County selects the alternate, but four years from now it will be Sublette County’s turn to send the delegate and our turn to send the alternate.

This is true for all 23 counties in Wyoming, leaving us with 12 delegates and 11 alternates that are designated votes.

But Wyoming gets 29 delegates. I know, right? You’re probably asking yourself: Where do the rest come from? I know I was.

Well, there is another round of nominations and another round of voting at the March 13 caucus that selects a series of delegates that the counties will send to Casper on April 14 to 16. These state delegates then nominate and elect another series of delegates that will add an additional 14 national delegates to those going to the RNC. Now we’re at a total of 26 delegates. So add to those three more delegates that are auto-generated from Wyoming Republican leaders that no one votes on at all. And voila, 29 delegates! (I swear this is true).

After that crazy day and this absurd explanation of the process, my hope is people in Teton County will understand the system a little better, and maybe some of you will now be able to have your voice heard.

Wyoming is one of only 13 states that still uses the antiquated caucus system. The other 40 states use variations of the primary.

Primaries give individuals a voice and strip the power from the very select few the caucus system has uplifted. Primaries don’t cost $3,000 or five hours of your life. You don’t have to wear red or blue, because primaries use secret ballots and no one, not even once, gets a captive audience to whom they can give a caustic spiel of their casual bigotry.

And it’s pretty straightforward. March 12 could have looked a lot like this for Republicans: Box A: Marco Rubio (robot about to lose in his home state) Box B: Ted Cruz (oily televangelist) Box C: Donald Trump (racist demagogue) Box D: Other (literally, put any name here) And then you’re done. You cast your vote.

And not one of the 4,700 Republican votes would have counted more than any other.

PJH Email comments to editor@planetjh.com.

NEWS Take That, Portland!

OF THE

WEIRD

Seattle’s ambitious Office of Arts & Culture has allocated $10,000 this year to pay a poet or writer to create a work while present on the city’s Fremont Bridge drawbridge. The office’s deputy director told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer in January that the city wants to encourage “public art” and that the grant will oblige the recipient to create a work of prose or poetry from the bridge’s northwest tower, to help the people of Seattle understand the function of art in the city. (The artist will not be “in residence,” for the tower has no running water.)

The Continuing Crisis

The dominant-submissive lifestyle soared to higher-brow status in February when The New York Times reported on the recent marriage of the celebrated composer of “moody, queasy” works (and compulsive dominant) Georg Friedrich Haas to Mollena Williams, who blogs introspectively about her own kinky bondage as “The Perverted Negress.” Friedrich had introduced himself to her on a dating site with the note, “I would like to tame you,” and credits her acceptance for his improved productivity—because, he said, “I am not (any longer) disturbed by unfulfilled thoughts.” Although Williams-Haas is a black woman submitting to a white man, she explained that, “To say I can’t play my personal psychodrama out just because I’m black, that’s racist.”

New World Order

Exasperated, Columbia County (Pennsylvania) District Judge Craig Long felt the need to post a sign outside his courtroom in January informing visitors that they should not wear pajamas to court. However, even Judge Long acknowledged that his admonition was not enforceable and that he was merely trying to encourage minimal standards. n “Microaggression”: In its brand-new communications stylebook this year for city workers, San Diego officials noted that the city’s then-upcoming Presidents’ Day announcements should, to be bias-free and inoffensive, never refer to America’s “Founding Fathers”—even though they were all males—but only to “founders.”

Bright Ideas

A then-married couple, both graduates of elite California law schools, were convicted of felonies and went to jail

n The online-pornography colossus Pornhub’s charity fundraising promotion during February benefited the Moclips Cetological Society (“Save the Whales”) in honor of World Whale Day on Feb. 13. Its news release celebrated whales’ sexuality—that they, like humans, do not limit their horniness to procreation. The company said it would, from Feb. 8 to Feb. 29, donate a penny for every 2,000 videos played on its ubiquitous free websites.

(That offer might appear modest, but a Seattle PostIntelligencer reporter noted, over the first two days, the world’s porn consumers had played 532 million videos—earning the charity $2,660.)

Can’t Possibly Be True

Vicky Leyton, 72, announced her retirement recently in Benidorm, Spain, over health concerns, but the lady’s 30-year run in her one-of-a-kind, “Sticky Vicky” magic show can hardly be forgotten by the 6 million fans who have witnessed it. Trained as a ballerina but emulating magicians who pull rabbits out of top hats, Vicky extracted an impressive array of items, also—from the body cavity that is occasionally the subject of News of the Weird stories. One review in Spain’s El Pais newspaper described a typical inventory: fluffy flags, flowers, ping-pong balls, sausages, eggs, a string of razor blades, a bottle and a light bulb (that was aglow!).

Nothing More to See Here?

Additional Details Needed: 1. Andrew McNeil, 34, was arrested in Lincoln, Nebraska, in January and charged with disturbing the peace. According to the police report (and lacking follow-up reporting by local news outlets), McNeil was found around 11 p.m. naked and “covered in sawdust.” 2. Rob Moore, 32, was arrested for misdemeanor drug possession in Marathon, Florida, in February, but he had only come to police attention when an officer heard him banging on the trunk of his car from the inside. Without follow-up reporting, Moore’s story was that he was looking for something in the trunk, fell in, and couldn’t get out.

Least Competent Criminals

Perps Who Needed to Hit the Gym: 1. Anthony Nemeth, 26, seeking pain medication but lacking a prescription, leaped over the pharmacy counter of a Walgreens in Bradenton, Florida, in February and demanded a supply. Customer David West, 25, standing at the counter with his girlfriend, ended the “robbery” with four quick punches, sending Nemeth to the floor. (West is a competitive boxer and reportedly a former state champion.)

2. Wheelchair-user Betty Jeffery, 76, was briefly the victim of a purse-snatching in Pitsea, England, in February.

She appeared vulnerable, but in fact is a former national arm-wrestling champion and slugged the young female thief in the face, slowing her down and leading her to drop the purse as she fled.

Thanks This Week to the News of the Weird Board Editorial Advisors.

MARCH 16, 2016 | 7

n “Medical” marijuana will take on a new meaning soon if the Food and Drug Administration approves Foria Relief cannabis vaginal suppositories for relieving menstrual pain (from the California company Foria).

Currently, the product is available only in California and Colorado, at $44 for a four-pack. The company claims the inserts are targeted to the pelvic nerve endings, but International Business Times, citing a gynecologist-blogger, noted that the only studies on the efficacy of Foria Relief were done on the uteruses of rats.

briefly two years ago for a criminal scheme inexplicably tawdry—and in February 2016 lost a resultant civil lawsuit for $5.7 million to the scheme’s victim. A woman at their child’s school had referred to the lawyers’ son as “slow,” enraging Kent Easter (University of California at Berkeley) and then-wife, Jill (UCLA), who retaliated by planting drugs and paraphernalia in Kelli Peters’ car and then, a man identified via circumstantial evidence as Kent (with an accent as if from India), called in a DUI tip to police, resulting in Peters’ arrest. According to Peters, neither perpetrator has ever expressed remorse, and although Kent admitted to “stupidity,” he now complains that Peters does not deserve her windfall (like a “Powerball winner,” he said).

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

The roadside billboard giant Clear Channel Outdoor Americas announced in February that it would soon be recording the cellphone locations of drivers who pass the company’s signs in 11 cities in order to give advertisers more information on how to pitch products to people with those particular travel patterns and behaviors.

Clear Channel asserts that no individual identifications would be sought, but privacy advocates fret about potential abuses, and even a Clear Channel executive acknowledged that the program “does sound a bit creepy.” (On the other hand, as Clear Channel pointed out to The New York Times, cellphone users’ locations and characteristics are already being extensively monitored by advertisers.)

Not the Usual Suspects

By CHUCK SHEPHERD

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

8 | MARCH 16, 2016

THE BUZZ State of the Union Firefighters introduce organized labor to Jackson.

BY JAKE NICHOLS

T

he Jackson Hole Fire/EMS department has experienced tremendous growth in its recent history. The evidence was cheerfully noted at the annual Fireman’s Ball, which smashed records last year at the 75th annual event that netted more than $100,000 from 2,800 concertgoers—up 600 from the previous year.

Indications are also painfully documented in a ballooning budget. Operating expense for the department has doubled since 2013, hitting a whopping joint town-county FY 2016 budget of $5.7 million. The town and county share the bill for Fire/EMS with a 45-55 split.

Chief Willy Watsabaugh blames escalating costs in part on dwindling volunteer numbers. The trend began three years ago and continues to plague the department’s ability to meet expectations in a cost-effective manner. Jackson Hole Fire/ EMS lost 62 volunteers between 2010 and 2014. There total volunteer force stands at about 50 responders. Few of those, however, are trained up enough to move into leadership roles, according to Watsabaugh.

As gloomy budget forecasts dog town and county officials, the last thing they needed was what happened last August when members of the full-time force opted to unionize. After two initial meetings with town and county leaders early this year, the collective bargaining process has revealed one certainty: It’s going to cost even more to keep first responders happy.

Hook and ladder The new union is Local 5067, Jackson Hole Professional Firefighters. It is organized under the International Association of Firefighters (IAFF). Union president John Tobey and fire captain/paramedic James Powell head the 5067. After kicking the idea around for nearly a year, Powell said they took it to a vote last summer, committing to form a union if they got at least 75 percent of the full-time paid members on board.

What they got was 15 of the 18 full-time firemen agreeing to unionize. While wages and benefits were of some concern, the primary reason local firefighters sought union affiliation was because of the department’s unique work schedule.

“The fire department has always been a square peg in a round hole in employment practices,” Powell explained. “We work nearly 50 percent more hours, yet the county uses the same salary matrix [as it does with other department employees]. We work a 56-hour workweek, 48-hour shifts followed by 96 hours off, and that schedule just repeats over and over.”

To deal with the oddities of how firefighters work, county officials have added to the employee handbook a special section devoted exclusively to Fire/EMS. The amendment changes from year to year and that has caused some consternation for fire managers.

“We’ve had a lot of anxieties about changes to our schedule, the hours we work and the amount of time we have at home with our families,” Powell admitted. “We would just rather have a say in it. We wanted a seat at the table.”

Anxieties were undoubtedly heightened while hammering out the latest Fire/EMS budget. Firefighters fought hard for four additional fulltime employees—a $330k increase to the FY 2015 budget—after several scary instances where someone called 911 and nobody showed up.

“During 2015, our department had a few ‘failures of service,’” Powell said. “This happened a few times, primarily out

of Station 1 in Jackson. Those day-to-day 911 calls are handled by full-time firefighters and supplemented by volunteers.

There were times last year when we just weren’t able to have the station staffed adequately.”

When firefighters and paramedics do respond, they get there quickly. Even as volunteers disappeared and full timers were stretched thin, first responders out of Station 1 were able to shave 11 seconds off their average response time for in-town calls—from 5:43 in 2010, to 5:32 in 2013.

Does right-to-work mean union buster?

Wyoming is one of 26 states classifying themselves as “right-to-work” states. The Equality State is also an employment at-will state. The two are distinctly different from one another. “At will” means an employee can be terminated at any time for any or no cause. Right to work is more applicable to the organized labor argument; it means, simply, that an employee does not have to be a member of a union in order to be hired and, further, is not required to pay union dues where one exists in his or her workplace.

Labor unions have trouble getting a foothold in states like Wyoming where workers are entitled to any pay raise or workplace benefits a union has fought for but don’t have to pay union dues if they don’t want to, and cannot be hired or fired on that basis. In the case of the three full-time firefighters who opted not to join Local 5067, should they decide not to pay their union dues, they cannot be discriminated against and will be treated like the 15 other dues-paying members.

“The union is the sole and exclusive bargaining agent whether or not those firefighters are members of the union.

You do not have to be a member of the union to be hired,” Powell said. “And we’ve found no hard feelings about not joining the union. One of our more recent hires elected not to join the union and that’s OK.” Wyoming has very little history with organized labor. Most of the existing unions are in highly specialized fields including electricians, railroad workers, and miners. The oldest union is UA Local 192, a Cheyenne-based union of more than 500 plumbers and pipe fitters formed in 1905.

“The electrician’s brotherhood is really strong in Teton County,” Keith Gingery said. As a former state legislator and current county attorney, Gingery is uniquely qualified to offer perspective on the hot issue as many states are beginning to pass laws designed to weaken union strongholds. “Of public employees, firefighters are the only ones who can unionize in Wyoming. This law was somehow changed years ago and, since, we’ve seen fire departments unionize in Casper, Cheyenne, Mills and Sheridan,” he said.

In the case of Sheridan, where Local 276 took hold, the relationship didn’t last a year before union reps and the city were at each other’s throats. After contracting in 2010, trouble immediately followed when cash-strapped city officials tried to establish a wage freeze. Union organizers sued and won.

The case was later overturned in the city’s favor in March 2013. The two parties had difficulty reaching a contract renewal in 2014.

During the spread of organized labor in the early 1900s, outspoken union proponents included Jimmy Hoffa, president of the Teamsters. He accused right-to-work states of waging a “war on workers.” Martin Luther King Jr. said rightto-work states promote a “false slogan” and “rob us of our civil rights and job rights.”

Data shows right-to-work states are continually among the leaders in the U.S. in worker injuries and fatalities, and the lowest in average annual wages.

Grinding arbitration Local authorities have little to no experience in negotiating with union representatives. Teton County and the Town of Jackson are in an even more unique position because of the way the fire department is structured. Powell said typically union reps would negotiate directly with the fire chief. But Gingery said that is illegal in Wyoming the way Fire/EMS is structured.

“Back in 2004, all the seven fire stations operated independently. You still see some remnants of that in the Wilson chicken fry and the Hoback BBQ, for example. At the same time, the hospital came to the town and said, ‘We are losing a lot of money running the ambulance,’ so EMS was added to the fire department and the whole organization was folded into the county,” Gingery explained. “And in 1986, the Wyoming Supreme Court said staff cannot be negotiators in a collective bargaining process with a union. It has to be elected officials. In fact, in Cheyenne a number of years ago, they tried to send just two councilmembers to negotiate, and the court said, ‘No, it has to be a full board of town and county.’”

Collective bargaining can be inherently cumbersome and contentious. But state statute makes it even tougher. All members of the county commission and the town council—10 in all—must negotiate with union members and come up with a workable contract within 30 days of the onset of talks. That marks March 29 as the deadline for Local 5067 and town/ county leaders to finalize a deal. The two sides have met twice so far but little has been done other than education.

“There really hasn’t been any negotiating yet,” Gingery said. “They laid out their positions: Here is what they would like, and here is where they are now. They want us to pay more into their pensions. They can retire at the age of 50 with full benefits. The salary thing is more about where you come in on the salary matrix as a new employee. [James] Powell has been very patient educating everyone at the town and county. It’s actually been enjoyable listening to him.”

If the two sides can’t come to an agreement by March 29, each would then choose an arbitrator and those two arbitrators would pick a third and enter into binding arbitration.

Powell is still encouraged at this stage even though he said the two proposals were fairly far apart and “not very closely aligned.”

“That being said we are also willing to make some concessions where necessary,” Powell disclosed. “We are looking for a two-year deal and they seem amendable to that. The county offered a contract proposal that pretty much represents the status quo. In an effort to negotiate in good faith we are staying in line with the current county contract [with some exceptions]. We’ll get into the details at the next meeting on Thursday [March 17]. We’ve set aside an entire day for that.”

Where the union is pressing hard is on starting pay for new hires. To make numbers work after agreeing to add four fulltime firefighters last summer, the county reduced the starting wage for new hires by 15 percent.

Powell said that punishes rookies. “The union is seeking to fix that wage gap,” he said. “It’s not fair to hire a firefighter today to do the same job as an older hire and pay them 15 percent less.”

The union rep also said what he is asking for would not bump salary for most of his force.

“The majority of full-time firefighters will not receive any additional pay should our contract be accepted tomorrow.

The majority of us, myself included, would not see an extra dollar per year,” Powell stated.

It’s rare collective bargaining is such an open process.

Because it involves elected officials, the entire negotiations are open to the public. Powell said he has enjoyed the process so far though he added, “It is very unusual to negotiate directly with all the elected officials in your community.”

Gingery, too, has been fascinated with the procedure.

“It’s kind of interesting,” Gingery admitted. “Normally something like this would be conducted in a backroom deal, but this is very transparent. For instance, I might have to say—in front of everybody, where the union can also hear me—something like, ‘I don’t think he’s right about that.’”

Chief Watsabaugh, who currently earns $92,714 a year, would remain independent from the union, solely in charge of hiring, firing, and disciplinary measures. Powell said the union’s relationship with Watsabaugh is solid. “We have very close ties,” he said. “He’s a great chief and a good friend to us.” PJH

THE BUZZ 2 Authority Always Wins Electeds create new housing authority out of hot air.

BY JAKE NICHOLS

C

MARCH 16, 2016 | 9

some affordable housing owners had worked their way out of neediness, but he wasn’t ready to back Hymas’ suggestion that the county get into a fire sale. “As far as selling off our public assets—it flies in the face of our Comp Plan goals to preserve and expand our housing stock,” he said.

Commissioner Mark Newcomb joined Lenz in preferring to be less hands on when it came to affordable housing oversight and control.

“I probably won’t go as far as Councilman Lenz, but I’d like to look a little bit at a firewall. We need to protect ourselves from ourselves to some degree,” Newcomb declared.

“I would like to avoid the pitfall of a group of 10 who were not elected to be experts on housing making every sticky, day-to-day decision. I would also like to acknowledge that the private sector can do a lot better than the $211-per-square-foot that Phase II of The Grove is going to cost. We can get fairly tangled up as a body of 10. I would caution us in getting too zealous in our self-interests and let private sector play a role.”

Mayor Sara Flitner admitted local government didn’t have all the answers yet but was ready to move for the sake of a balanced and diverse community in dire need of housing answers.

“I recognize we don’t have it all figured it out yet but we will continue that process,” Flitner said. “I’m less concerned about a few bad actors … and a lot more concerned about highly paid people like teachers and an attorney I know who can’t afford a home here.

Even at a $100,000 salary, it doesn’t mean there is a place for you in this community. It’s not my intention to build our way out of this but our community needs help. That’s all I’m trying to do, and recognizing we are going to make some mistakes along the way and when we do we will certainly hear about them but hopefully learn from them.”

BCC chair Barbara Allen said it was no time to turn back now.

“We’ve created a document that we all voted on. This is a reflection of that document,” Allen said, referring to the Housing Action Plan. “We need to trust in ourselves and our staff. We are now making a choice in our community that will ensure we are able to support a vibrant and diverse community where people can afford to live and work here. We are creating a nimble government that can look to the private sector for help.

Let’s look at the positives rather than the reservations.

Commissioner Smokey Rhea admitted she was no housing expert but was an expert on the people that needed housing. “The time is right; we have to do something now,” she said.

The town council voted 4-1 to adopt a resolution that would create a dual-branched regional housing authority headed by a new housing director and a housing manager.

Lenz was opposed.

The board of county commissioners also voted in favor on a 4-1 tally with Newcomb holding out. PJH

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

ounty commissioners and town councilors met Tuesday to make two important decisions put off at past meetings. The joint board of 10 signed off on a resolution creating a regional Housing Authority including the immediate hiring process of a new housing director position.

Elected officials also agreed to place a $6 million SPET initiative on the ballot this August that will ask voters to tax themselves in order to help pay for mitigation of the Budge Slide—rebranded of late as the West Broadway Slide.

Town councilors got over some initial heartburn over amended language that still didn’t reassure some of them that they would have a say in the running of a reconfigured housing authority.

“I will assume that this is simply an oversight,” councilman Don Frank began. “But right there in the very headline it does not describe this as a joint housing authority? At what point are we going to identify this as a joint department?”

County attorney Keith Gingery assured Frank it was not an oversight but rather a lexicon formality that placed the housing authority under the county in a technicality much the same way START Bus and Parks & Rec are defined as county entities but have town oversight as well. County administrator Alyssa Watkins said she had revised the language to better reflect that her counterpart at the town, Bob McLaurin, and the council he represented would be working in close cooperation in the hiring, firing and disciplinary matters of the housing authority staff.

Councilman Bob Lenz worried local government was getting too much oversight, especially when it came to making decisions about who gets to purchase or rent a new affordable home.

“Does this mean we are going to start telling people who gets a house or rental apartment? Because I envision people here in front of [us] and in the backroom saying, ‘I want this house,’ and I bet the daughter of a politico here gets the house,” Lenz speculated. “I, for one, think it should be an autonomous housing authority. When we start down the road with compliance and other stuff down the line, whether it’s people out of compliance with their affordable housing or out of line with a VRBO, autonomous authority has great advantages. And we can finger point about all these [landbanked] properties or what went wrong at the Grove, but every

piece of housing authority property has been approved by you folks at the county. You’ve approved every purchase.”

Lenz was referring to public comment offered before the vote that ranged from criticism of the authority to staunch opposition of subsidized housing in any form.

“Right off the bat I would just like to say I don’t agree with subsidized housing at all,” said Cindy Stone. “I don’t like it, and I have never seen it work. Show me where it’s worked. Vail, Whistler, Aspen. Nowhere has it been successful. We are tired of you taking our money and throwing it into a dark pit with no bottom in sight.”

Teton County Tea Party director Jeff Hymas called for electeds to force the sale of county properties that have sat undeveloped for more than a decade and to use the money to fund shovel-ready projects in town.

“I think it’s also germane to the discussion to say that hiring a housing director now is putting the cart before the horse,” Hymas said. “There needs to be some dedicated funding in place first, either through SPET or a general tax. But that decision hasn’t been made yet. I would suggest not hiring until you have the money in place or you will have an expensive guy with nothing to do. It’s hard to vote for increased spending for housing solutions when we aren’t getting the value currently that we could.”

Joe Rice, who was at the JIM to speak on behalf of slide mitigation that affects his Sidewinders Restaurant couldn’t resist the opportunity to rage against the machine until his agenda item came up.

“What bothers most people in general about subsidized housing is there are no checks and balances,” Rice said. “There are people that live in affordable housing right now that shouldn’t be in affordable housing.

And I believe there are lawyers and other professionals living in affordable housing while people making $30,000 a year are who it’s intended for. And what just happened at The Grove, and the wasted money that has been spent on that project. If I ran my business that way I would be out of business. You guys are doing no different than the federal government. You continue to waste money and then ask for more.”

Councilman Jim Stanford spent most of the meeting blasting media coverage and other communication avenues that have poisoned public perception.

“I’m seeing that we have a few folks in the room and in the community concerned about a second housing authority,” Stanford complained. “It seems to me that is demonstratively false. All we are doing is dividing the current housing authority [into separate distinct roles]. We have had no discussions about creating a second housing authority.

Is that right?”

Frank, too, acknowledged he had heard “a variety of dynamics” in the community that bordered on negative scolding. “It’s not healthy and it’s not helpful,” he said.

Frank also admitted he was concerned about compliance and the possibility that

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

10 | MARCH 16, 2016

The

GOLDEN

Nathaniel Rateliff and The Night Sweats

Rendezvous

Top-notch bands set the foundation for a bustling, historical weekend as JHMR celebrates 50 years.

BY AARON DAVIS |

T

he lore of Rendezvous has been our lifeblood here in the Tetons for quite some time, right?

This weekend, to celebrate Jackson Hole Mountain Resort’s 50th anniversary, the 2016 Jackson Hole Rendezvous is predicted to be the largest of modern day concerts.

Steeped in tradition, the original mid-19th century era of Rocky Mountain Rendezvous was a historical necessity. Western fur traders and Eastern company men met for the first Wyoming Rendezvous in 1825—65 years before statehood. Folks in the East were demanding top hats made from beaver pelts, and the most famous of fur trappers in the West rendezvoused to sell their wares and camp out for weeks—Jim Bridger, Jedediah Smith, William Sublette and David Jackson.

Those names bring spirit to the mountains, and so do the many characters and heroes over 50 years of Jackson Hole Mountain Resort—the iconic first director of skiing and Olympic medalist, Pepi Seigler; the late extreme skier, Doug Coombs; JH native and world-class snowboarder, Travis Rice; the three hundred some members of the Jackson Hole Air Force; JHMR co-founder and owner for over three decades, Paul McCollister. Compiling a list of passionate personalities that have influenced this area’s winter culture would stack deeper than the powder of February 1986.

Whether shutting the door on a golden anniversary ski season or capping the fur-trapping seasons of yesteryear, the congregation of like minds from all corners of the country has long been an important part of exploring Western culture here in the Hole.

Today, the JH Rendezvous has evolved into a four-day lifestyle and music festival that began, modestly, a decade ago as a single-day event, simply known as Mountain Fest. Thanks to fervent long-term planning and additional funding, this weekend’s festivities are the epitome of “go big” with an upper echelon of bands that will be staged in Teton Village and downtown Jackson.

The stars have aligned, so let’s Rendezvous.

It’s all about the music

With respect to all of the other acts that have played Rendezvous over the last 10 years—The Wreckers, Blues Traveler (twice), Grace Potter & The Nocturnals, Ozomatli, Michael Franti & Spearhead (three times!), G. Love and Special Sauce, Katchafire, O.A.R, and Karl Denson among them—a giant leap into securing what JHMR has called “A-level” talent (Zac Brown Band) comes with a higher price tag, and a production that is larger in scope.

@SCREENDOORPORCH A total of $225,000 was approved via the JH Travel and Tourism Board to fund the event’s core objective of driving destination visitation. So far, the leap seems to have paid off.

“Teton Village hotels are sold out and we’ve been hearing about record occupancies from hotel partners in town,” said Anna Cole, communications manager at JHMR. “We’re expecting around 15,000 people and all general admission and VIP tickets are sold out, so we are asking that if you don’t have a ticket to the Zac Brown Band/Chris Robinson Brotherhood concert on Saturday, not to show up and add to the congestion.”

For Saturday’s show, five thousand tickets were originally released to locals at no cost before thousands of additional tickets sold for $20 each. This is a change from previous years when all Rendezvous concerts were free. This the resort’s conscious effort to keep a handle on crowd control while growing in a sustainable manner.

As resort officials previously noted, Zac Brown Band is arguably the largest mainstream act that has ever played Jackson Hole, and that is considered a score for a town that’s deemed a small market. (Bob Dylan, The Allman Brothers, Vince Gill, B.B. King, and Willie Nelson are a handful of previous top-tier, even legendary acts that have played Jackson Hole.) Brown’s fan base has grown large enough that the band typically plays amphitheaters and sports arenas such as Fenway Park in Boston. In 2013, the band ranked in Top 40 of the highest paid acts at $6.6 million while supporting their album “Uncaged,” and last summer, they had the fifteenth highest grossing tour at $2.2 million. The latter tour was in support of the band’s sixth full-length release, “Jeckyll + Hyde,” and marked their third consecutive No. 1 debut on the Billboard 200 chart.

Perhaps more important than securing any one act is the crafting of a multi-day event that appeals to a wide demographic, and a range of musical tastes. Of the other touring acts, Friday headliner is the soul/R&B eight-piece Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats, which have had a meteoric rise due in part to rave live reviews since releasing their debut album just eight months ago.

Chris Robinson Brotherhood, featuring frontman and cofounder of The Black Crowes, brings a psychedelic rock vibe, while Uncle Kracker will appeal to the Kid Rock lovers. Oh, and there’s more.

Zac Brown Band: Eclectic & savvy

An eight-piece, Zac Brown Band has been a mainstream

Chris Robinson Brotherhood

success while also being unpredictable. The brainchild of a guy who paid for his stint in college education by playing bar gigs, the Zac Brown Band has won three Grammy Awards and has had multiple platinum-selling albums.

The 38-year-old Brown grew up in the small town of Dahlonega, located in the north Georgia mountains. He was singing soon after he could talk and started classical guitar lessons at age seven. Then came bluegrass, then country and pop, which he used as a foundation as a solo gigging high school student.

The lyrics of his song “Chicken Fried”—which evolved from the first recording in 2003 to the second version on 2005’s “Home Grown”—sums up the communal, downhome vibe that Brown has instilled in his music, and in his band.

Musically, the anthemic tune is quintessential countrypop-rock with a reggae breakdown, an arrangement nuance that Brown’s fans—from country boot-scooters to jamband hippies and beach bums—can appreciate.

“Well, I’s raised up beneath the shade of a Georgia pine And that’s home ya know Sweet tea pecan pie and homemade wine Where the peaches grow In my house it`s not much to talk about But it`s filled with love that`s grown in Southern ground And a little bit of chicken fried…”

Listening intently to the patient grooving and boundary dissolving of Chris Robinson Brotherhood’s (CRB) 2015 release, Betty’s Blends Vol. 2: Best from the West, is hopping a train with a group of weathered musicians that are comfortable letting their music breath. CRB joined forces

MARCH 16, 2016 | 11

Chris Robinson Brotherhood: Noncommercial hippie rock

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

That was 11 years ago and prior to their first major-label release. Since then, Zac Brown has cemented his band as a crossover act that pushes beyond the lucrative country genre from which he rose to prominence. It’s a success story in entrepreneurship as much as his prowess as singer-songwriter and bandleader is. Add record producer, record label head, and philanthropist to his credits as well.

“Zac is the idea man, the straw that stirs the drink. He’s the face. The voice. None of this happens without him,” said band member and multi-instrumentalist Clay Cook, who also co-wrote several early songs for Grammy-award winner John Mayer. “He’s the best boss I’ve ever had. There is a family feeling in the band. We all feel like brothers. Also, everyone is a true peer … around the same age and interests.”

As many creative-driven artists are, Brown has taken his roots music into non-rootsy and vastly contrasting directions, even on the same album. Take for instance the 2015 LP “Jekyll + Hyde,” a far-reaching, chameleon-like set that takes on classic rock, jazz-swing, metal, folk, Celtic, reggae, and EDM-meets-country-dance-party. The album received mixed reviews from all corners of the critic spectrum. The band has little boundaries when it comes to covers as well, putting their stamp on Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody,” Ray Lamontagne’s “Jolene,” to Metallica’s “Enter Sandman,” Jason Isbell’s “Dress Blues,” and Black Sabbath’s “War Pigs.” The band’s recent foray into EDM-inspired music was solidified through collaboration with one of the genre’s biggest acts, Avicii.

Considering the band’s wide scope of songs, would venue aesthetics, like the potential for a bitter cold outside stage, or crowd demographics like ski bums and families would make a difference when preparing the setlist?

“Usually it’s just the crowd that dictates the setlist decisions,” Cook explained. “We play different sets at headlining shows than when we play pop/rock festivals.

We’re huge fans all around in this band of Chris [Robinson’s] work. We’ve only played with The Black Crowes, so this will be our first show with the Brotherhood.”

knowing Robinson’s popularity and history of playing Jackson with the Crowes.

Also consider the heady after-party concert on Saturday featuring sacred pedal steel guru Roosevelt Collier with Jelly Bread at the Mangy Moose in Teton Village (9:30 p.m., $10). Collier brings a Robert Randolph-vibed “get down” attitude to his shows, and this one is setup to be a barnburner. Check Music Box on page 18.

Uncle Kracker

Big Sandy

alone is what helped me expand—I’d never been in a band that played for three hours, or in a band that played two sets, or been asked to play this much lead guitar and to make as big of a contribution that I’ve been able to in this band. I’m really thankful for it.”

Like The Grateful Dead or Phish, the band enjoys “an evening with” type concert that encompasses two complete sets and long-form songs, often times with no support act. Opening a show or playing a single set is not something they do very often. Speaking of The Dead, CRB employs some of the lazy soul grooves and intricate psychedelic improvisation that make for such a peaceful, floaty feeling matched with the unexpected. Sometimes those in-the-moment musical improvisations benefit from the lighter side of the brain.

“The expansive instrumental aspects of the Grateful Dead were a starting point for us and we wear the influence proudly,” Casal said. “It can be pretty scary up there sometimes, [the improvisational moments]. I’m not the kind of musician with a lightning fast brain. I’m pretty slow, actually. So it takes me a while to come up with parts and ideas. I think the best thing that saves me in those situations is a good sense of humor. Failing is ok. Failure is welcome in this band and it makes the successes so much better, adds contrast.”

Though CRB is listed as the opening act on JHMR’s website, I’d wager this Saturday performance in the Teton Village lot will feel like a co-headlining bill, especially

12 | MARCH 16, 2016

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

with Betty Cantor-Jackson, legendary archivist for the Grateful Dead, and allowed her to curate the new live album. The result is a double-guitar rock ‘n’ roll and keyboard attack courtesy of Crowes’ keyboardist Adam MacDougall. And it’s cool to hear Robinson playing more guitar in this project than he did with The Black Crowes.

Alongside Robinson is a super guitarist and songwriting partner that has made a name for himself. Predominantly a go-to sideman, Neal Casal is a former member of Ryan Adams & The Cardinals, Hard Working Americans, and is a solid solo recording artist in his own right.

“CRB for me has been five years of pure expansion,” Casal told The Planet from Groningen, Holland. “The universe is expanding and it hasn’t cooled yet, see, because we’re still in those early stages of the universe, my own universe, expanding. Chris’ concept for the band

Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats: Powerful soul, songwriter R&B

Sneaky Pete and The Secret Weapons

Nathaniel Rateliff comes to us as an artist that is trending, blowing it up, and yes, killing it as a howling tenor fronting a seven-piece band of fellow Denver buddies. It’s easy to fall in love with his newfound Stax era of musical growth, which seems to simultaneously channel Van Morrison, Sam & Dave, and Sam Cooke, yet with an alluring Midwestern drawl and an indie flair.

Even a hint of the first Stax house band, Booker T. & the M.G.’s, can be discerned.

“The Night Sweats started to tour a lot last June and I’ve only been home for less than two weeks since,” Rateliff said. “It’s been an intense kind of thing for us just to learn how to work as much as we’ve been working.

We’ve all been having a blast playing for each other and I’m lucky enough to be with a great group of guys.”

Rateliff grew up phoneless and church-going in rural Missouri. At 18, after some hardships that led to him quitting school and working odd jobs, Rateliff moved to Denver. During the in-between years, he formed garage rock band Born in the Flood while also working for a trucking company and beginning to write quieter, introspective songs. The mellower songs fit best with his second Denver band, The Wheel, though he soon grew confident as a solo artist and signed to Rounder Records.

He moved to Chicago to make his debut for the label, 2010’s “In Memory of Loss,” with Iron & Wine producer Brian Deck. During this time, I was driving in northern Colorado and heard Rateliff’s unforgettable voice singing “Happy Just to Be” overtop a simplistic piano and violin on public radio. Hushed folk a la Bon Iver was all the rage and the interview with Rateliff came off super genuine, like he was really living in these songs. Later, The New York Times would dub him one of Denver’s local folk-pop heroes while Spin praised his “massive, alluring voice.”

Frustrated when the label passed on his next batch of songs, he moved back to Denver to self-record and quietly release his next album, Falling Faster Than You Can Run,

on a small label. A tour followed, and so did the magic.

“I wasn’t sure if that album would see the light of day,” Rateliff said. “Out of discouragement, I guess, I had a friend ask me to come record some different stuff and I was like, ‘I just finished a record and I just dumped my heart into this other thing.’ He said, ‘you don’t have to do the singer-songwriter stuff, you can fuckin’ play whatever you want.’

Rateliff says that made him wonder: “Am I going to keep playing music and treading water? What about the people that have committed their lives to playing with me? I feel responsible to them and for the vision,” he said. So Rateliff went home and jammed on his guitar.

“I thought it would be cool if I did something that sort of sounded like The Band and kind of sounded like Sam & Dave.” Within a week, he had eight to nine songs.”

But The Night Sweats, Rateliff remembered, “was still something that I was doing at home, something I did for fun, and it was kind of bizarre that it became my fulltime job.”

The 11-track retro-sounding debut, Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats is a few borders beyond the solo songwriter gigs, though Rateliff’s talent is still the driving force. The heightened energy is taking him to bigger stages and earning fans quicker than ever, and new dreams are coming true.

“When we first moved to Denver, we were like, ‘some day we’re going to play here at Red Rocks,” Rateliff said of the holy grail of venues. “We’ve played there a bunch of times now—with Spoon, Flaming Lips, and some multi-band fests like Film on the Rocks and Monolith— but we’ve never had our own show until now. Shovels and Rope are opening for us. And it’s sold out. It’s happening.”

Opening for The Night Sweats this Friday night on Jackson’s Town Square is California hillbilly swing/ rockabilly/country trio Big Sandy and the Fly Rite Boys.

Over 25 years and over 3,000 shows, the band has made 14 records and appeared three times on Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Their sound is a slap back to the early Capitol Records days with modern twists.

Uncle Kracker: Rowdier than your other uncle

Good friend and collaborator with Kid Rock since the beginning of his career, rap-rocker Matthew Shafer, a.k.a.

Uncle Kracker, had his first top 10 his with 2001 softrock single “Follow Me.” Both fortunate and unfortunate, that single was unlike any of the other songs on the Kid

2016 JACKSON HOLE RENDEZVOUS SCHEDULE & MORE Wednesday, March 16

LYLE LOVETT AND ROBERT EARL KEEN Venue: Center Theater, Jackson Time: 7 p.m.

SOLD OUT

GTMF CHAMBER MUSIC: BRAHMS’ HORN TRIO Venue: St. John’s Episcopal Time: 7 p.m.

FREE

Thursday, March 17 – St. Patrick’s Day and Rendezvous kick-off!

SNEAKY PETE & THE SECRET WEAPONS Venue: Under the tram, Teton Village Time: 3 p.m.

FREE

SLIP ‘N THE JIGS

Venue: Silver Dollar Showroom Time: 7:30 to 11 p.m.

FREE

GTMF A METROPOLITAN OPERA: LIVE IN HD BROADCAST PUCCINI’S MANON LESCAUT Venue: Center for the Arts Time: 7 p.m. $12-$20

BOGDOG

Venue: Town Square Tavern Time: 10 p.m.

FREE

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

MARCH 16, 2016 | 13

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

14 | MARCH 16, 2016

2016 JACKSON HOLE RENDEZVOUS ...CONTINUED Friday, March 18

NATHANIEL RATELIFF & THE NIGHT SWEATS WITH BIG SANDY AND THE FLY RITE BOYS

Venue: Town Square Stage, downtown Jackson Time: 5 p.m.

FREE, VIP tickets ($125) still available at JacksonHole.com

SNEAKY PETE & THE SECRET WEAPONS Venue: Town Square Tavern Time: 10 p.m. $10

GTMF ELGAR TO RADIOHEAD WITH SYBARITE5 Venue: Center for the Arts Time: 7 p.m. $20

Saturday, March 19

ZAC BROWN BAND WITH CHRIS ROBINSON BROTHERHOOD Venue: Teton Village parking lot Time: 5 p.m.

SOLD OUT

ROOSEVELT COLLIER WITH JELLY BREAD

Venue: Mangy Moose Time: 9:30 p.m. $10/advance, $15/day-of-show at Mangy Moose or etix.com Sunday, March 20

UNCLE KRACKER WITH CHANMAN ROOTS BAND Venue: Under the tram, Teton Village Time: 2 p.m.

FREE

MARMOT COOMBS CLASSIC

Legendary ski-mountaineer and Jackson Hole local Doug Coombs (19572006), was loved and admired on a local and global scale. This is a celebratory spring skiing event to commemorate his remarkable mountain ambitions.

Venue: Jackson Hole Mountain Resort Event: 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., Sunday Registration: 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Marmot tent at the base of JHMR between the tram and gondola.

Rock-produced album though it defined the early part of his career. Like Mr. Rock, Kracker favors the combo of funky postgrunge rock with a hip-hop beat and surly lyrical subjects.

“You walk in with a crooked smile/Yeah your hair’s a little out of style/But ooh, you got that thang/You’re in and out of relationships/Your nail polish is always chipped/But ooh, you got that thang/The way you drink, the way you trip/The way you bite your bottom lip/Oh baby.” - from Uncle Kracker’s “You Got That Thang” Shafer played turntables for Rock’s early bands, eventually co-writing and performing on Rock’s multi-platinum album Devil Without a Cause. He had a second top 10 solo hit in 2002 with a cover of Mentor Williams’ “Drift Away” and also co-wrote Kid Rock’s popular single “All Summer Long.” While I’ve heard unenthusiastic chatter about Mr. Kracker being the wrong fit when compared to other acts billed for the weekend, I’d bet there are some regional fans that will come out of the wood work for this free Sunday show under the tram.

Opening the show as a part of the Coombs Classic Ski Event, eight-piece Chanman Roots Band is simply good reggae vibes and tight musicianship from some of the valley’s veteran players. Get there early at 2 p.m. for their set and see the dance party ignite.

Sneaky Pete & The Secret Weapons: The funk-nasty groove train

There are good reasons why Sneaky Pete & The Secret Weapons, known to local fans as “The Weapons,” are one of the hottest acts in town right now. They’re writing original music with classic elements of jazz-funk and making every show a full-on dance party with an unending groove. Their debut album Breakfast reached No. 5 on Relix Magazine/Jambands. com Radio Chart while touring regularly through the Northwest & Rocky Mountain regions. The quintet will officially kick-off Rendezvous at 3 p.m. Thursday, under the tram. You’ll have a second chance to catch The Weapons after the The Night Sweats, 10 p.m. Friday at Town Square Tavern ($10).

Transportation for Rendezvous: Plan ahead

Saturday’s venue in Teton Village will be larger than ever to accommodate concertgoers, and there will be additional public transportation to transport folks to and from the concert. Free concert parking will be available at the Teton County Fairgrounds in the Town of Jackson, and also at the intersection of Highway 22 and 390 in the Stilson Parking Lot. These lots will be serviced by buses to and from the concert. The START Bus to Teton Village is free for JHMR season passholders and $3 for all other concertgoers. All bus service after the concert from Teton Village to Stilson and Teton Village to town is free of charge.

Service will conlcude at 12:30 a.m.

Parking in Teton Village will be very limited, and carpooling is encouraged. Parking in all lots will increase to $30 after 1 p.m.

Saturday, and will be available on a first come first serve basis.

If you do not have a ticket to Saturday’s concert, it is advised not to come, as it is sold out. For more information on bus times, parking, concert venue and Village traffic information, visit jacksonhole.com/rendezvous-transportation.html PJH

Aaron Davis is a decade-long writer of music happenings in JH, a singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, member of Screen Door Porch and Boondocks, founder/host of Songwriter’s Alley, and co-founder of The WYOmericana Caravan.

WEDNESDAY MAR. 16

n Chess Club 3:30pm, Valley of the Tetons Library - Driggs, Free, 208-3545522 n 2D Design and Print 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $50.00 - $60.00, 307-733-6379 n Apres with Maw Band 4:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n Free Tax Preparation: InPerson 4:00pm, Teton County Library Ordway Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n English Riding Lessons 4:00pm, Heritage Arena, $65.00, 307-699-4136 n Evening Yoga 6:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Great Until Late 6:00pm, Local Businesses, Free, 307-201-2294 n Cribbage Club 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Driggs, Free, 208-3545522 n Great Reads for Girls Book Club 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Victor, Free, 208-7872201 n Barbara Trentham Life Drawing 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $10.00, 307733-6379 n Make a Quilt Top in 4 Weeks!

6:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $75.00, 307-733-7425 n Open Gym - Adult Basketball 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025 n Bridge 6:30pm, Old Wilson Schoolhouse, Free, 307-413-9507 n High Elevation Gardening Workshops 6:30pm, Rendezvous Upper Elementary School Library, $75.00, 413-575-0624 n Beginning Ballet Workshop with Dawn Webster 6:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $25.00 - $75.00, 307-733-6398 n Beginner Argentine Tango Workshop with Robin Maffei 6:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $25.00 - $85.00, 307-733-6398 n STACKHOUSE 7:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913

n Tavern Trivia 7:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-733-3886 n Chamber Music - Brahms Horn Trio 7:00pm, St. John’s Episcopal Church, Free, 307-733-3050 n ShredX Talks 7:00pm, Pink Garter Theatre, Free n An Evening with Lyle Lovett and Robert Earl Keen 7:00pm, The Center Theater, $129.00, 307-733-4900 n Western Swing Wednesday 7:30pm, West Side Yard, Free, 208-787-5000 n Songwriter’s Alley 8:00pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n KHOL Presents: Vinyl Night 9:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307733-1500

|

ride. row. train. riderowtrain.com | Movie Works Plaza | 307.413.0441 | *Sale through 3/31

THURSDAY MAR. 17

n Kettlebells 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Yoga 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Intermediate/Advanced Ballet @ Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Tech Tutor 10:00am, Teton County Library, Free, 733-2164 ext. 218 n Storytime 10:30am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Storytime 11:00am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Open Gym - Adult Basketball 12:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025 n Public Skating 12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633 n Teton Toastmasters 12:00pm, Teton County Commissioners Chambers, Free n Cribbage 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Driggs, Free, 208-354-5522

MARCH 16, 2016 | 15

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 17

Compiled by Caroline Zieleniewski

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n Boot Camp 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Pilates Mat Classes at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Gym 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n Yoga 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Toddler Gym 10:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n Tech Tutor 10:00am, Teton County Library, Free, 733-2164 ext. 218 n Story TIme 10:00am, Valley of the Tetons Library Victor, Free, 208-7872201 n Open Hockey 10:15am, Snow King Sports & Event Center, $10.00, 307-2011633 n Fables Feathers & Fur 10:30am, National Museum of Wildlife Art, Free, 307-733-5771 n Lap Sit 11:00am, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Ladies Day Wednesdays 11:00am, Snow King Mountain, $49.00 - $59.00, 307-699-4227 n Conversations for Common Ground 11:30am, St. John’s Episcopal Church, Free, 307-733-2603 n Public Skating 12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633 n Music and the Mind: a Lunchtime Learning Lecture with Dr. Petr Janata 12:00pm, Teton County Library, Ordway Auditorium, Free, 307733-3050 n Total Fitness 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Freestyle Skating 3:00pm, Snow King Sports & Event Center, $10.00, 307-2011633 n Chess Club: Grades K to 12 3:30pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 x118

te u n h ra f F nt * b o es le s o s e C ar 1-M as e P

U

Y 9 d 4 9 i te $ nlim

THIS WEEK: March 16-22, 2016

YOUR SUMMER GUIDE TO ALL OF THE HAPPENINGS IN THE HOLE! COMING THIS JUNE.

E M A I L S A L E S @ P L A N E TJ H .CO M

CREATIVE PEAKS Richly Hued Voices Library hosts intimate two-day event with trio of award-winning authors.

BY KELSEY DAYTON

T

hroughout American history, white supremacy controlled what was published, choosing whose voices were heard and deciding for the masses what constituted literature and art. This led to stereotyped and racist portrayals of characters of colors, which still persists, explained Leah Shlachter, adult program services coordinator at Teton County Library. But as the demographics of the United States are changing, so is the literary world as it is expanding beyond white writers, allowing people of color to tell their own stories.

Teton County Library will explore the changing color of American literature with a panelist of renowned writers: Tonya Foster, John Keene and Tyehimba Jess. The scribes will talk about their own work and experiences in a field that is still not level when it comes to power and representation, as well as ethics of art when it comes to race. They’ll explore topics like using Michael Brown’s coroner’s report as art, disguising racial identity of writers and broadcasting text, like that from “Gone with the Wind,” without context.

The writers read from their works on Thursday and talk about controversies in American literature. They will take audience questions on Friday.

By the year 2020, the United States’ population will be more than 50 percent nonwhite. Jackson’s own population is growing

increasingly diverse, too, Shlachter noted.

“What does this mean for writers and artists?” she pondered. “What does this mean for the consumers of books, art, and culture?

We’d like to bring this thought-provoking national conversation to a Jackson forum.”

Last spring Shlachter asked Claudia Rankine, a visiting Writers at the Library poet, what sort of author events she enjoyed participating in. She told Shlachter she liked forums where the speakers chose their fellow panelists. It creates an authentic conversation instead of a staged presentation, she explained.

The suggestion stuck with Shlachter as she started thinking about future programing. When she met Jess at a writing conference in June, they brainstormed ideas, and following Rankine’s advice, Shlachter also asked him to choose other writers for the panels. He suggested Keene and Foster. All three are award-winning writers.

Jess, a Detroit native, is known for bridging the gap between slam-style poetry and academic poetry. He won the 2004 National Poetry Series with his first book “leadbelly,” which was inspired through an exploration of the blues musician Huddie “Lead Belly” Ledbetter’s life.

The Library Journal and Black Issues Book Review both named it one of the best poetry books of 2005.

Foster wrote “A Swarm of Bees in High Court,” described by Harryette Mullen as an “attempt to create biography of a place.” The book explores 21st century Harlem. Mullen described it as “infused with a weary and wary blues; Foster’s innovative variations on haiku are terse verses, tautly turned and tuned into cycles and rhythms of urban insomniacs.” Foster also co-edited “Third Mind: Creative Writing through Visual Art.” Her writing and research focuses on place, and the intersection between visuals and the

written word. Her upcoming works include a cross-genre, multimedia piece about New Orleans, as well as a project called “Monkey Talk,” described as an inter-genre piece about race, paranoia, surveillance and need.

Keene wrote the novel “Annotations,” a story about a black man’s coming of age from birth through college. He also wrote the art-poetry collection “Seismosis” with artist Christopher Stackhouse, and a short fiction collection, “Counternarratives,” which made the best of fiction lists in 2015 for New York Magazine, Vanity Fair and other publications.

The esteemed panel will talk about race and artists’ ethics in the 21st century.

The library aims to offer people access to literature and information, but it’s also meant to be a place to connect people to each other, Shlachter said. “This topic simultaneously does both: It addresses the complex and pervasive social, political, economic issue of race and racisms through the context of literature and art,” she explained. “We hope to create a safe place to discuss racism.”

The goal is to incite a discussion that generates an expanded awareness of contemporary ethical and artistic issues both for artists producing work, and readers and viewers consuming it, Shlachter added. The library also hopes the panel exposes people in Jackson to new ideas in modern American writing and introduces them to fresh literary voices. PJH

Authors Tonya M. Foster, Tyehimba Jess and John Keene read from their books from 6 to 7:30 p.m., Thursday and discuss “Trippin’ Over the Racial Divide: Contemporary Controversies in American Literature,” from 6 to 7:30 p.m., Friday. Both free events are at the Teton County Public Library.

Left to right: Award winning authors John Keene, Tonya Foster and Tyehimba Jess engage in real talk this week at Teton County Library.

TCLIB

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

16 | MARCH 16, 2016

T H E H O L E C A L E N D A R .CO M

4th Annual ShredX Talks, Wednesday, 7 p.m. at the Pink Garter Theatre Pro-rider and shred ambassador Rob Kingwill hosts an evening exploring the spirit of snowboarding during a SHREDx talk as part of the Jackson Hole PowWow. This year’s lineup includes: JG Gerndt - Burton testing coordinator/developer Todd Kohlman - Burton archivist Mikey Basich - Snowboarding legend

FRIDAY MAR. 18

n Boot Camp 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Toddler Gym 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n bootybarre® at Dancers’ Workshop 9:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Yoga 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Portrait Drawing Club 9:00am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $10.00, 307733-6379 n Ballet Workout at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n RELIEF SCULPTURE 9:30am, Art Association of JH, $225.00, 307-733-6379 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 10:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Gym 10:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n Multi-Generational Music 10:30am, Old Wilson Schoolhouse, Free, 307-413-9507 n Free Tax Preparation: Drop-Off Service 10:30am, Teton County Library Computer Lab, Free, 307-7332164 n Yoga 12:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025

RE

W PO AN RT TE ER D

Have a knack for storytelling and the smarts to dissect and distill the valley’s issues du jour, from breaking news to thoughtful arts coverage?

Looking for flexible hours, the freedom to work independently and the opportunity to be an important voice in the community?

Now is your chance to join the small, energized team that comprises The Planet – Jackson Hole’s alternative voice and Wyoming’s only alt weekly.

EMAIL ONLY: A COVER LETTER, RESUME AND WRITING SAMPLES TO EDITOR@PLANETJH.COM

MARCH 16, 2016 | 17

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 20

n Drink + Draw 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $45.00 - $54.00, 307-733-6379 n ACT Prep Course 6:00pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Whiskey Experience 6:00pm, VOM FASS Jackson Hole, Free, 307-734-1535 n Mental Health Support Group 6:00pm, Board Room of St. John’s Medical Center, Free, 307-732-1161 n The Changing Color of American Literature: A Reading 6:00pm, Teton County Library Ordway Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Open Gym - Adult Soccer 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-0925 n The Met Live in HD - Manon Lescaut 7:00pm, Center for the Arts, $12.00 - $20.00, 307-733-3050 n JH Community Band Rehearsal 7:00pm, Center for the Arts Performing Arts Wing, Free, 307-200-9463 n St. Paddy’s Day with Slip ‘N’ the Jigs 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n Salsa Night 9:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307733-1500 n Disco Night 10:00pm, Stagecoach Bar, Free, 307-733-4407 n St. Paddy’s Day w/ BOGDOG!!

10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-733-3886

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n St. Patrick’s Day Party at The Trap 3:00pm, The Trap Bar & Grill, Free, 307-353-2300 n Freestyle Skating 3:00pm, Snow King Sports & Event Center, $10.00, 307-2011633 n Music Under the Tram Sneaky Pete & the Secret Weapons 3:00pm, Teton Village, Next to Nick Wilson’s, Free, 307-7332292 n Culture through Clay 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $150.00 $180.00, 307-733-6379 n Apres with Stack and the Attack 4:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n Thursday Gates 4:00pm, Snow King Mountain, $49.00 - $59.00, 307-699-4227 n St. Patricks Day Rally with the Miller Sisters and Friends 4:00pm, Mangy Moose, 307733-4913 n Yoga 4:15pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Metal Working Series - All Classes 4:15pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $125.00 $158.00, 307-733-6379 n March ArtWalk 5:00pm, Various Galleries, Free n Jazzercise 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $10.00, 307-739-9025 n Total Fitness 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Great Until Late 6:00pm, Local Businesses, Free, 307-201-2294

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

18 | MARCH 16, 2016

MUSIC BOX A Jelly BreadSacred Steel Sandwich Pedal steelist Roosevelt Collier teams up with funk-rock band Jelly Bread.

BY AARON DAVIS @ScreenDoorPorch

W

hile official Rendezvous concerts are getting much of the spotlight, there’s a slew of other shows to put on your radar this week. Of those, it’s Roosevelt “The Doctor” Collier with Jelly Bread that’s been grabbing my attention.

Collier’s foray into a solo career is relatively fresh. Teaming up with Reno, Nevada’s Jelly Bread is his latest foray. Collier grew up among one of America’s finest AfricanAmerican sacred steel ensembles, The Lee Boys. The family group consists of three brothers—Alvin Lee (guitar), Derrick Lee and Keith Lee (vocals)—along with their three nephews including Collier on pedal steel guitar, Alvin Cordy Jr. (7-string bass), and Earl Walker (drums). Each member began making music around seven or eight years old in the House of God church they attended in Perrine, Florida, where they underwent a rigorous course of training in a variety

of musical instruments, including lap and pedal steel guitars.

“Soon as I started playing with Roosevelt, we just locked,” said Luther Dickinson of North Mississippi Allstars. “He is just such an amazing cat because his forefathers, they were revolutionaries, and he’s bringing it to a whole new generation, ya know. He’s going to take the sacred steel Florida tradition into the future.”

From NPR’s Tiny Desk concerts to summer festival stages like High Sierra, Jelly Bread has been establishing themselves in the region with desert twang-meets-urban tones of funk and rock. For their 2015 album, Here, There & Everywhere, the quintet linked up with producer/engineer Justin Phelps (Cake, Galactic, The Neville Brothers) to unleash a gospel-soul, southern-fried rock ‘n’ roll set.

Adding Collier to this mix will be interesting, and you just never know who will show up to sit in.

Roosevelt Collier with Jelly Bread, 9:30 p.m., Saturday at the Mangy Moose (following Zac Brown Band). $10/advance, $15/day-ofshow. MangyMoose.com.

From Mozart to Radiohead Crossover classical string quintet, Sybarite5, will close the weeklong Grand Teton Music Festival Winter Series event by performing from a repertoire that ranges from Mozart to Radiohead, and Visconti to Akiho. Members include Sami Merdinian and Sarah Whitney (violins), Angela Pickett (viola), Laura Metcalf (cello), and Louis Levitt (bass). The Quintet’s five-song 2011 debut EP, Disturb the Silence, features music by Radiohead and Piazzolla, plus original works written for Sybarite5. It quickly reached Top 10 on the Billboard chart. Their follow-up album of all Radiohead material, Everything In Its Right Place, was released with a show at Carnegie Hall in November 2012.

Jelly Bread jams desert twang and urban funk rock Saturday at the Mangy Moose with Roosevelt ‘The Doctor’ Collier.

Grand Teton Music Festival and Center of Wonder co-present “Mozart to Radiohead” with Sybarite5, 7 p.m., Friday at Center Theater. $22/adults, free for students (ticket required). 733-4900, JHCenterForTheArts.org, GTMF.org.

Texas songwriter royalty Two men who have earned their spots in the pantheon of Texas singer-songwriters are teaming up for an intimate acoustic show.

Grammy Award-winning artist Lyle Lovett and Robert Earl Keen wrote “The Front Porch Song” together in the late 1970s while students at Texas A&M. A long, successful career followed for each of them. The duo will tell tall tales and swap songs to a sold-out audience.

An Evening with Lyle Lovett and Robert Earl Keen, 7 p.m., Wednesday at the Center Theater. $131 (sold-out). JHCenterForTheArts. org, 733-4900. PJH

WED: Lyle Lovett and Robert Earl Keen (Center Theater) THUR: Sneaky Pete & the Secret Weapons (Music Under the Tram), Slip N’ the Jigs (Silver Dollar), BOGDOG (Town Square Tavern) FRI: Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats, with Big Sandy and the Fly Rite Boys (Town Square Stage), Sybarite5 (Center Theater), Sneaky Pete & the Secret Weapons (Town Square Tavern) SAT: Zac Brown Band, with Chris Robinson Brotherhood (Teton Village parking lot), Roosevelt Collier, with Jelly Bread (Mangy Moose), Bart Crow (Town Square Tavern) SUN: Uncle Kracker, with Chanman Roots Band (Music Under the Tram)

Aaron Davis is a decade-long writer of Music Box, a singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, member of Screen Door Porch and Boondocks, founder/host of Songwriter’s Alley, and co-founder of The WYOmericana Caravan.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

MARCH 16, 2016 | 19

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

20 | MARCH 16, 2016

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 21

BREE BUCKLEY

n Public Skating 12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633 n Feathered Friday 12:00pm, Jackson Hole & Greater Yellowstone Visitor Center, Free, 307-201-5433 n Public Art Information Session 12:00pm, North Park, Free, 307-413-1474 n Total Fitness 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307739-9025 n Lego Club 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Driggs, Free, 208-354-5522 n Miller Sisters at The Trap 3:00pm, The Trap Bar & Grill, Free, 307-3532300 n Clay and Sculpture 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackosn Hole, $190.00, 307-733-6379 n Wine Tasting 4:00pm, The Liquor Store & Wine Loft, Free, 307-733-4466 n StringFest Showcase with Barbara Scowcroft 4:30pm, Center for the Arts, Free, 307-7333050 n Jackson Hole Rendezvous Festival 2016 5:00pm, Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, Free, 307-733-2292 n Ladies Night Fridays 5:00pm, Snow King Mountain, $49.00 - $59.00, 307-699-4227 n Probiotics: Friends for Life! with Erin Dowling 5:30pm, Healthy Being Juicery & Cafe, Free, 307-200-9006 n Friday Night Meditation 6:00pm, Zendler Chiropractic, Free, 307-6998300 n Great Until Late 6:00pm, Local Businesses, Free, 307-201-2294 n Whiskey Experience 6:00pm, VOM FASS Jackson Hole, Free, 307734-1535 n The Changing Color of American Literature: A Panel Discussion 6:00pm, Teton County Library, Free, 307-7332164

GET OUT

Brazen Bails In the mountains, sometimes quitters are the real winners.

BY BREE BUCKLEY @bree.buckley

M

ountaineering is a package filled with proper equipment, acquired techniques, and a practical mindset. We can tape together our package until all the loose ends are secure, but regardless of our resume or set precautions, injury and death also comprise the package. Accidents happen and in a community of go-getters, we often learn that the hard way.

I spend a lot of time in the mountains and I spend a lot of time choosing to turn around before I accomplish my set goal. Yet, I still have a track record of becoming a wounded soldier. This phenomenon has simply reinforced the truth that accidents actually do, well, just happen. My accidents have turned me into an authoritarian. I fear the slightest mishap in the mountains and have become overly vigilant of the dangers I may walk into.

So, whether I am defending myself or supporting those who preemptively turn around in the eye of danger, I’ve learned to trust those who follow their instinct and feel confident in their ability to call it quits.

Let’s take a few noteworthy failures from last summer, for example.

My first failure was a trip that didn’t go as planned. Our goal was to summit Gannett Peak. However, we miscalculated our approach and subsequently threw ourselves off schedule. Traveling as a rat pack of petite females with heavy packs proved to be too fatiguing in our effort to reach the climber’s camp before nightfall. So we decided to set up camp six miles early and make up for lost time in the morning.

A decision to quit was made at three in the

Left: Disappointment Peak lives up to its name as the author decides to turn around. Right: Laughter ensues between the author and Brittany Mumma after they endure a rainstorm en route up Teewinot. Bottom right: Soaking in the rays, the author and Kelly Halpin take a moment for morale during a Middle Teton mission. morning. Due to our monstrous backpacks, a member of our group lost feeling to her arm and couldn’t sleep through the night. She forced herself to make the painful choice to stay at camp on our summit day, understanding that her injury and fatigue put us all at risk. Her choice was not an easy one to make.

Later, we three remaining mountaineers didn’t quite succeed either. We became disoriented crossing rivers under the 3 a.m. moonlight, stumbling through boulder fields in the dark, and exploring new terrain.

We eventually found ourselves at the base of the correct glacier three hours too late.

Temperatures were rising and due to softening snow, we knew that we couldn’t summit later than we agreed upon. So we too called it quits.

I could complain about needing to cross 15 rivers in one day, walking an agonizing 50 miles, our inability to actually summit, and the jealousy I felt as a horse pack trip trotted by our ambulating bodies. But I could not complain about trusting our instincts. Sure, it was frustrating to turn around, but in the end, the summit shouldn’t be the only prize.

The second time I found victory in an assumed failure was in my attempt at the Moranic, a locally invented triathlon that combines a 25-mile bike ride, 3-mile hike, 1.6 mile-alpine swim, 5,367-vertical-foot hike, and a 1,000-foot technical climb to land yourself on the summit of Mount Moran.

Once you reach the summit, there is brief celebration—after all, you just endured half of the challenge. But then you have to turn around to do it all in reverse.

Until the second rappel, I thought I had the race in the bag. But my abrupt transformation, from feeling like a hero to complete zero, forced me to call it quits on our second midnight swim to the East shore of Lee Lake.

Despite the fact that my muscles felt strong, I was dehydrated and feared hypothermia. So

while I still had the energy to help myself, I decided to crawl into a support canoe.

Though I was upset with my body’s reaction to myriad forms of fatigue, I shifted my perspetive; my decision offered a way to look out for the safety of myself and my partners.

Immediately upon crawling out of the water, my body agreed with my choice, sinking into a trembling state of exhaustion. Indeed, putting my health before my ego was the right move.

Next came a 9 a.m. bail on Teewinot. This time, however, it was due to sopping wet granite rock... and the promise of Nom Nom Donuts. It was early in the Alpine season and pouring rain, but our six-person train met at the Lupin Meadows parking lot at 5:30 a.m. Avoiding any option to drive back to town after caffeinating instead of sleeping, we began to hike up to the face of Teewinot in hopes that the rain would subside and the rock would miraculously dry.

But the rain did not stop. It fluttered between a gentle mist, coercing us to believe that hiking was worthwhile, then falling as sheets and making us feel like idiots for even being outside. However, our positivity and expectation that we could potentially summit came to an immediate halt as the dirt trail turned to rock. We had gone this far, but no one in her right mind would proceed on wet granite. That was our cue to sit down, enjoy a maple frosted donut from the Farmer’s Market, and wiggle our way back down to the parking lot where we began.

Yes, many of us are goal driven and find it difficult to think clearly in an unplanned event, but a perfectly good day will be even better if you call it quits before danger strikes.

Every failure makes a future success that much sweeter, and for that, I would rather lose my photo opportunity on the summit of Gannett than be carried down. PJHw

n Open Gym - Adult Soccer 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-0925 n Pam Drews Phillips Plays Jazz 7:00pm, The Granary at Spring Creek Ranch, Free, 307-7338833 n Elgar to Radiohead with Sybarite5 7:00pm, Center for the Arts, $20.00, 307-733-3050 n Voices of the Valley: What Does Morality & Religion Have to Do with GYE Politics? @ JH History Museum 7:00pm, Museum Gallery, Free, 307-733-2414 n Three Rivers Rock ‘n’ Country Band 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n Friday Night DJ featuring EPS (as seen with Murs) + E.R.A 10:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307733-1500 n Sneaky Pete & the Secret Weapons 10:30pm, Town Square Tavern, 307-733-3886

SATURDAY MAR. 19

n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 9:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n RELIEF SCULPTURE 9:30am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $225.00, 307733-6379 n Adult Oil Painting 10:00am, The Local Galleria, $25.00, 208-270-0883 n Town Downhill - Mini Hahnenkamm 10:00am, Snow King Resort, $65.00 - $85.00, 307-733-6433

n Roosevelt Collier with Jelly Bread 9:00pm, Mangy Moose, $15.00, 307-733-4913 n Jameson Black Barrel Music Series Presents: The Fritts Project 10:30pm, The Rose, Free, 307733-1500 n Bart Crow 10:30pm, Town Square Tavern, 307-733-3886

SUNDAY MAR. 20

n Marmot Coombs Classic 9:00am, Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, 307-733-2292 n Apple Trees 9:00am, Full Circle Farm, $30.00, 413-575-0624 n RELIEF SCULPTURE 9:30am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $225.00, 307733-6379 n Town Downhill - Mini Hahnenkamm 10:00am, Snow King Resort, $65.00 - $85.00, 307-733-6433 n SRB’s Barrel Program 11:00am, Snake River Brewing, Free, 307-739-2337 n Ski with the Godfather-Bill Briggs 12:00pm, Snow King Mountain, $49.00 - $59.00, 307-699-4227 n Jackalope Jump 1:00pm, Snow King Mountain, 307-253-3062 n Shark Week at The Trap 3:00pm, The Trap Bar & Grill, Free, 307-353-2300 n Jackson Hole Rendezvous Festival 2016 3:00pm, Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, Free, 307-733-2292 n Music Under the Tram Chanman Roots Band 3:00pm, Teton Village, Next to Nick Wilson’s, Free, 307-7332292

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MARCH 16, 2016 | 21

OPEN

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 22

n Parents’ Ski Saturdays 10:00am, Snow King Mountain, $49.00 - $59.00, 307-699-4227 n Free Tax Preparation: Drop-Off Service 10:30am, Teton County Library Computer Lab, Free, 307-7332164 n Tram Jam 11:00am, Base of the Bridger Gondola, Free n Fly Tying with Bruce Staples 11:00am, JD High Country Outdoors, Free, 307-733-3270 n Practice ACT Exam 1:00pm, Teton County Library, Free, 307-733-2164 n Raptor Encounters 2:00pm, Teton Raptor Center, $10.00 - $12.00, 307-203-2551 n Chanman Solo in the K BAR at the Teton Mountain Lodge and Spa 4:00pm, K BAR, Free, 307 413 1348 n Snowboard Saturday Adult Classes 5:00pm, Snow King Mountain, $49.00 - $59.00, 307-699-4227 n Jackson Hole Rendezvous Festival 5:00pm, Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, Free, 307-733-2292 n Great Until Late 6:00pm, Local Businesses, Free, 307-201-2294 n Whiskey Experience 6:00pm, VOM FASS Jackson Hole, Free, 307-734-1535 n Open Gym - Adult Soccer 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-0925 n Three Rivers Rock ‘n’ Country Band 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n Zac Brown Band 8:00pm, Jackson Hole Rendezvous Festival,

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

22 | MARCH 16, 2016

WELL, THAT HAPPENED n Open Gym - Adult Volleyball 4:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025 n Apres with Major Zephyr 4:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n Rune Saloon - Exhibition Opening 5:00pm, Holiday Forever, Free n Stagecoach Band 6:00pm, Stagecoach, Free, 307-733-4407 n Taize 6:00pm, St. John’s Episcopal Church, Free, 307-733-2603 n Great Until Late 6:00pm, Local Businesses, Free, 307-201-2294 n Hospitality Night - Happy Hour 9:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307733-1500 n Uncle Stackhouse 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-733-3886

MONDAY MAR. 21

n Boot Camp 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Pilates Mat Classes at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Gym 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n Jazzercise 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $10.00, 307-739-9025 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Kindercreations 9:30am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $85.00 - $102.00, 307-733-6379 n Toddler Gym 10:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $0.00 - $2.50, 307-7399025 n Little Hands, Little Feet 11:00am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $85.00 - $102.00, 307-733-6379 n Public Skating 12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633 n Total Fitness 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Story Time 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Driggs, Free, 208-3545522

n Maker Monday’s 3:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Victor, Free, 208-7872201 n Handbuilding Plus!

3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $150.00 $180.00, 307-733-6379 n After School Kidzart Club 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $195.00 $234.00, 307-733-6379 n Apres with Tucker Smith 3-piece band 4:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n English Riding Lessons 4:00pm, Heritage Arena, $65.00, 307-699-4136 n Barre Fusion at Dancers’ Workshop 5:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Hootenanny at Dornans 6:00pm, Dornans, Free, 307733-2415 n Evening Yoga 6:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Great Until Late 6:00pm, Local Businesses, Free, 307-201-2294 n Drawing 101 6:00pm, Art Association of Jacksnon Hole, $130.00, 307733-6379 n Skiers can Tango, and so can You! 6:30pm, Center for the Arts, Free, 917 613-3176 n Open Gym - Adult Basketball 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025

TUESDAY MAR. 22

n Kettlebells 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Zumba at Dancers’ Workshop 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Yoga 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Ballet Workout at Dancers’ Workshop 9:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Time 10:05am, Teton County Library, Free, 733-2164 ext. 118 n Open Gym - Adult Basketball 12:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025 n Public Skating 12:00pm, Snow King Sports & Events Center, $6.00 - $8.00, 307-201-1633

n MELT at Dancers’ Workshop 12:10pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Spin 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-733-5056 n Afterschool Monthly Workshops - All 17 Sessions 3:30pm, Borshell Children’s Studio, $180.00 - $216.00, 307733-6379 n Mixed Media Madness 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $50.00, 307-7336379 n Free Tax Preparation: Drop-Off Service 3:30pm, Teton County Library Computer Lab, Free, 307-7332164 n White Lightning Open Mic Night 4:00pm, The Trap Bar & Grill, Free, 307-353-2300 n Apres with Fresh Roy and the Winch Cats 4:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n Yoga 4:15pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Tele Tuesdays 5:00pm, Snow King Mountain, $49.00 - $59.00, 307-699-4227 n Jazzercise 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $10.00, 307-739-9025 n Total Fitness 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Great Until Late 6:00pm, Local Businesses, Free, 307-201-2294 n Basic Silkscreen 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $145.00, 307733-6379 n Language Exchange 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Driggs, Free, 208-3545522 n Biomolecules and Folklore: Understanding Traditional Plant Use in the Tetons 6:00pm, Teton County Library, Free, 307-733-2164 n Green Drinks JH: Jackson Hole Housing 101 6:00pm, Spark JH, Free, 303483-8207 n Open Gym - Adult Volleyball 6:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $3.75, 307-739-9025 n Hip Hop at Dancers’ Workshop 7:00pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $12.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n One Ton Pig 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939

FOR COMPLETE EVENT DETAILS VISIT PJHCALENDAR.COM

Fictional Rights Cultural appropriation, sensitivity and the right to write.

BY ANDREW MUNZ @AndrewMunz

W

hile I completely disagree with just about everything the Republican candidates are putting forth, I can, on some level, recognize their gripes regarding political correctness. The current generation can be extremely sensitive when it comes to classifying or defining different cultures, particularly in progressive first world countries. As we humans move forward in our quest for acceptance and eliminating generalizations, we can’t seem to stop tripping over the thrown stones of past conflicts. The challenge is deciding whether we recognize those stones and step over them, or go out of our way to remove them from the path altogether.

The latter is admittedly an incredibly ‘yuuuge’ undertaking. How do you build a blossoming society of acceptance and anti-discrimination when its foundation is weakened from centuries of divergence? How do you erase the mistakes of the past?

I’ve attempted to tackle that subject in my own fiction. My unpublished young adult novel, “Blade of the Outlaw,” deals with a revisionist history of the American Indian tribes of Wyoming. In a planned five-book series, I have the intention of rewriting the birth of our nation with the inclusion of Indian voices in that development, not just those of white men.

After hours of research, I’ve established a story that, I believe, is a realistic alternate history that imagines a new United States.

But, who am I to write this story?

JK Rowling of “Harry Potter” fame recently penned a four-part tale called “A History of Magic in North America”, in which she expands on her magical world by including Native American wizards.

The backlash that has erupted from this story is massive. The American Indian/ Indigenous/Native American community (the classification varies depending on preference) has accused Rowling of cultural appropriation and writing about a subject about which she has a complete lack of knowledge. One Twitter

JK Rowling explains that Navajo Skin-walkers do not exist in her fictional world.

user, @nativebeauties, wrote: “You must be outta your mind if you think we should sit idly while a renown white author uses us as props in her fictional work.”

That same Tweeter also described that Rowling’s Native American wizards were apt with “animal and plant magic,” playing into the age-old stereotype that all Native characters are “mystical” and decisively in-tune with nature.

At the time of writing this column, Rowling has yet to respond to allegations that she lacks the knowledge or neglected to do proper research on the culture she has now added to her fantasy canon. Another user, @ NativeApprops, stated: “You can’t just claim and take a living tradition of a marginalized people. That’s straight up colonialism/ appropriation.”

Admittedly, this situation makes me want to withdraw my book from agent submissions.

Perhaps I should work on a book solely about white gay male characters from Wyoming that are born of Austrian parents, because ultimately, that is the culture I come from.

When I visited the Wind River Reservation in spring 2015, I met with Robin Levin, a librarian at the Fort Washakie School who helped me with my research for “Blade of the Outlaw.” She was incredibly helpful, but warned me that I would face challenges. She told me that I should expect that one day, a tribal elder would come to me, take me by the elbow and ask, “Why do you think it’s appropriate for you to change our history?”

Shit, right? This paranoia of backlash has drastically impacted my writing, both in positive and negative ways. Ultimately, who are any of us to write about anything? What am I trying to say with my story, and why am I writing from the perspective of a half-breed horse wrangler—a character I have so little in common with?

Perhaps because, like JK Rowling, I write fiction. Stories come to me, not because I’m trying to make a statement or trying to reclassify indigenous tribes, but because it’s a story that I believe is worth telling. I do my research. I recognize those thrown stones, I learn about the history and traditions, but I refuse to ignore writing about other cultures just because I happened to be born white, or other genders just because I’m male.

Would a Native American writer be better suited to write my novel or JK Rowling’s story?

Sure, but an artist’s imagination should not be regulated by fear of being accused of cultural appropriation. Be mindful, but be creative.

PJH

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

MARCH 16, 2016 | 23

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

24 | MARCH 16, 2016

BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

The Case for Rosé Why you should make friends with this foodfriendly, low-alcohol wine.

BY TED SCHEFFLER @critic1

W

hen this article publishes—on St. Patrick’s Day—your head might be full of green beer and Irish whiskey. I, however, will be spending this St. Paddy’s Day in France, and chances are good that there will be a glass of Rosé wine in front of me. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a bar or restaurant in France that didn’t have more than one Rosé to choose from, and it’s not unusual to see a dozen different kinds on French wine lists.

Here in the U.S., we tend to think of the French as being so serious about wine— picturing them pondering pricey reds and whites—but many of them aren’t. They often drink local, unpretentious and inexpensive wines, and Rosé is very popular there—even

in Paris, where Bordeaux tends to be the go-to drink of choice.

To this day, I remember exactly where I was when I took my first sip of Rosé. It was on the beautiful terrace of the restaurant Le Fournil, in the small provençal village of Bonnieux. I noticed that at least half of the tables surrounding mine had carafes of Rosé on them, Provençe being the home of French Rosé. So, I ordered an inexpensive carafe myself, and have been a militant campaigner for Rosé ever since.

Now, let’s not confuse good Rosé with other sweetish blush wines, such as White Zinfandel. White Zin is nothing more than the bastard cousin of real Rosé. And, it drives me nuts when I see White Zinfandel on American restaurant wine lists taking up room where a proper Rosé should be.

As I’ve said before, Rosé is a red wine that drinks like a white wine. Most are virtually tannin-free. Rosé is made from blackskinned grapes—Grenache, Syrah, Cinsault, Mourvèdre, Sangiovese and the like—that are crushed and left to intermingle with the juice for just a short time, usually one to three days. In red-wine making, the skins would be left in contact throughout the fermentation process. With Rosé, the skins are discarded, which also removes most of the tannins from the wine.

Many people have the mistaken notion that Rosé wines are sweet, probably due to

IMBIBE their color—which ranges from pale orange to light purple—and, also due to the common misconception that White Zinfandel and Rosé are the same thing.

But in fact, many of the best Rosés are bone-dry, with great acidity. And that makes them a very good partner for a wide range of food pairings.

One such domestic example is Lorenza Rosé 2014 ($17.99), a blend of Grenache, Carignan, Mourvèdre and Cinsault from Napa. It’s desert-dry and, like most Rosés, fairly low in alcohol (11.4 percent). I love the fact that Lorenza and other Rosé wines don’t overpower a meal. They are very versatile with foods, and can pair with everything from seafood, sushi and chicken dishes to pork, veggies, salads and lighter pastas.

Whereas many people opt for Pinot Noir with salmon, I think Rosé is more often a better pairing, depending

on the sauce and/or seasoning. Perhaps surprisingly, it’s not unusual to see Parisians sipping Rosé with simple steaks and other meat dishes.

While Rosé is a natural choice for springtime and summer sipping, I drink it year ’round.

There’s always a bottle in our easy-to-reach wine cooler. And, although Rosé wines have risen in price the past few years, they’re still quite affordable. Even the best Rosé from France typically sells for $20 or less. The prototypic Château d’Aquéria Tavel—which garnered 90 points from Robert Parker—is $21.

So, go forth and drink pink! PJH

Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom and pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves!

Trio is located just off the town square in downtown Jackson, and is owned & operated by local chefs with a passion for good food.

Our menu features contemporary American dishes inspired by classic bistro cuisine. Daily specials feature wild game, fish and meats.

Enjoy a glass of wine at the bar in front of the wood-burning oven and watch the chefs perform in the open kitchen.

ASIAN & CHINESE TETON THAI

THE LOCALS

FAVORITE PIZZA 2012, 2013 & 2014 •••••••••

$7

$4 Well Drink Specials

LUNCH

SPECIAL Slice, salad & soda

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

TV Sports Packages and 7 Screens

Under the Pink Garter Theatre (307) 734-PINK • www.pinkygs.com

Serving the world’s most exciting cuisine.

Teton Thai offers a splendid array of flavors: sweet, hot, sour, salt and bitter. All balanced and blended perfectly, satisfying the most discriminating palate. Open daily. 7432 Granite Loop Road in Teton Village, (307) 7330022 and in Driggs, (208) 787-8424, tetonthai. com.

THAI ME UP Home of Melvin Brewing Co. Freshly remodeled offering modern Thai cuisine in a relaxed setting. New tap system with 20 craft beers. New $8 wine list and extensive bottled beer menu. Open daily for dinner at 5pm.

Downtown at 75 East Pearl Street. View our tap list at thaijh.com/brews. 307-733-0005.

Serving authentic Swiss cuisine, the Alpenhof features European style breakfast entrées and alpine lunch fare. Dine in the Bistro for a casual meal or join us in the Alpenrose dining room for a relaxed dinner experience. Breakfast 7:30am-10am. Coffee & pastry 10am-11:30am.

Lunch 11:30am-3pm. Aprés 3pm-5:30pm.

Dinner 6pm-9pm. For reservations at the Bistro or Alpenrose, call 307-733-3242.

For reservations please call 734-8038

SCOOP UP THESE SAVINGS

1/16TH COLOR AD Local is a modern American steakhouse and bar located on Jackson’s historic town square.

Serving locally raised beef and, regional game, fresh seafood and seasonally inspired food, Local offers the perfect setting for lunch, drinks or dinner.

Lunch 11:30am Monday-Saturday Dinner 5:30pm Nightly

HAPPY HOUR Daily 4-6:00pm

307.201.1717 | LOCALJH.COM ON THE TOWN SQUARE

• FREE PRINT LISTING (50-75 WORDS) • FREE ONLINE LISTING ON PLANETJH.COM • 6 MONTH MINIMUM COMMITMENT • $25 A WEEK CASH OR $40 A WEEK TRADE ON HALF OFF JH

CONTACT YOUR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE TODAY TO LEARN MORE

SALES@PLANETJH.COM OR 307.732.0299

THE BLUE LION A Jackson Hole favorite for 37 years. Join us in the charming atmosphere of a historic home. Ask a local about our rack of lamb.

Serving fresh fish, elk, poultry, steaks, and vegetarian entrées. Live acoustic guitar music most nights. Open at 5:30 p.m. Early Bird Special: 20% off entire bill between 5:306:00pm. Reservations recommended, walkins welcome. 160 N. Millward, (307) 733-3912, bluelionrestaurant.com.

CAFE GENEVIEVE

ELEANOR’S Enjoy all the perks of fine dining, minus the dress code at Eleanor’s, serving rich, saucy dishes in a warm and friendly setting.

MARCH 16, 2016 | 25

Serving inspired home cooked classics in a historic log cabin. Enjoy brunch daily at 8 a.m., dinner nightly at 5 p.m., and happy hour daily 3-5:30 p.m. featuring $5 glasses of wine, $5 specialty drinks, $3 bottled beer. 135 E. Broadway, (307) 732-1910, genevievejh.com.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

WWW.TETONLOTUSCAFE.COM

Available for private events & catering

Best ski food in the area! Korean and American style, from breakfast sandwiches, burgers, chicken tenders, Philly cheese steaks to rice bowls and noodles. Something for everyone!

Open Tuesday through Thursday, 9:30 a.m. to 7 p.m.; Friday through Sunday, 9:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. At base of Snow King between the ski patrol room and the ice rink. 100 E. Snow King Ave. Order ahead (307) 200-6544, facebook. com/Kimscornercafe.

ALPENHOF

••••••••• Open daily 8am 145 N. Glenwood (307) 734-0882

45 S. Glenwood

KIM’S CORNER

CONTINENTAL

Breakfast Lunch & Dinner

Dinner Nightly at 5:30pm

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

26 | MARCH 16, 2016

®

Large Specialty Pizza ADD: Wings (8 pc)

Medium Pizza (1 topping) Stuffed Cheesy Bread

$ 13 99

for an extra $5.99/each

(307) 733-0330 520 S. Hwy. 89 • Jackson, WY

Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally FRESH FOOD at reasonable prices, is a always a FUN PLACE to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel RIGHT AT HOME and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit.

Reservations at (307) 733-4913 3295 Village Drive • Teton Village, WY

www.mangymoose.com

Eleanor’s is a primo brunch spot on Sunday afternoons. Its bar alone is an attraction, thanks to reasonably priced drinks and a loyal crowd.

Come get a belly-full of our two-time gold medal wings. Open at 11 a.m. daily. 832 W. Broadway, (307) 733-7901.

FULL STEAM SUBS The deli that’ll rock your belly. Jackson’s newest sub shop serves steamed subs, reubens, gyros, delicious all beef hot dogs, soups and salads. We offer Chicago style hot dogs done just the way they do in the windy city. Open daily11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Located just a short block north of the Town Square at 180 N. Center Street, (307) 733-3448.

LOCAL

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

20%OFF ENTIRE BILL

Good between 5:30-6pm • Open nightly at 5:30pm

733-3912 160 N. Millward

Make your reservation online at bluelionrestaurant.com

- Snow King Mountain -

Use the code “Planet” and get

15% off your order of $20 or more Order online at PizzeriaCaldera.com or via our app for iOS or Android.

11am - 9:30pm daily 20 W Broadway 307 - 201 - 1472

Cafe

KOREAN & AMERICAN BREAKFAST & LUNCH BURGERS • FRIES RICE BOWLS • NOODLES Tues-Thur 9:30am-7pm | Fri-Sun 9:30am-4pm 100 E. Snow King Ave

(at Snow King Mtn between Ski Patrol & Ice Rink)

307.200.6544

FAMILY FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT PIZZAS, PASTAS & MORE HOUSEMADE BREAD & DESSERTS FRESH, LOCALLY SOURCED OFFERINGS TAKE OUT AVAILABLE Dining room and bar open nightly at 5:00pm (307) 733-2460 • 2560 Moose Wilson Road • Wilson, WY

A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965

POLKA NIGHT FEATURING THE

HOF POLKA BAND Steamed Subs Hot Dogs Soups & Salads

THURSDAY, 7PM-10PM GERMAN BEER SPECIALS

The Deli That’ll Rock Your Belly 307-733-3448

Sun-Wed 11am-4pm, Thur-Sat 11am-8pm 180 N. Center St. | 1 block n. of Town Square Next to Home Ranch Parking Lot

307.733.3242 | TETON VILLAGE

Local, a modern American steakhouse and bar, is located on Jackson’s historic town square.

Our menu features both classic and specialty cuts of locally-ranched meats and wild game alongside fresh seafood, shellfish, house-ground burgers, and seasonally-inspired food. We offer an extensive wine list and an abundance of locally-sourced products. Offering a casual and vibrant bar atmosphere with 12 beers on tap as well as a relaxed dining room, Local is the perfect spot to grab a burger for lunch or to have drinks and dinner with friends. Lunch Mon-Sat 11:30am.

Dinner Nightly 5:30pm. 55 North Cache, (307) 201-1717, localjh.com.

LOTUS CAFE Serving organic, freshly-made world cuisine while catering to all eating styles. Endless organic and natural meat, vegetarian, vegan and glutenfree choices. Offering super smoothies, fresh extracted juices, espresso and tea. Full bar and house-infused botanical spirits. Open daily 8am for breakfast lunch and dinner. 145 N. Glenwood St., (307) 734-0882, tetonlotuscafe.com.

MANGY MOOSE Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally fresh food at reasonable prices, is a always a fun place to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel right at home and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit. Teton Village, (307) 733-4913, mangymoose.com.

SNAKE RIVER BREWERY & RESTAURANT America’s most award-winning microbrewery is serving lunch and dinner. Take in the atmosphere while enjoying wood-fired pizzas, pastas, burgers, sandwiches, soups, salads and desserts. $9 lunch menu. Happy hour 4 to 6 p.m., including tasty hot wings. The freshest beer in the valley, right from the source! Free WiFi. Open 11:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. 265 S. Millward. (307) 739-2337, snakeriverbrewing.com.

SWEETWATER Satisfying locals for lunch and dinner for over 36 years with deliciously affordable comfort food.

Extensive local and regional beer list. Lunch 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. features blackened trout salad, elk melt, wild west chili and vegetarian specialties. Dinner 5:30 to 9 p.m. including potato-crusted trout, 16 ounce ribeye, vegan and wild game. Reservations welcome. (307) 7333553. sweetwaterjackson.com.

TRIO Owned and operated by Chefs with a passion for good food, Trio is located right off the Town square in downtown Jackson. Featuring a variety of cuisines in a relaxed atmosphere, Trio is famous for its wood-oven pizzas, specialty cocktails and waffle fries with bleu cheese fondue. Dinner nightly at 5:30 p.m. Reservations.

(307) 734-8038 or bistrotrio.com.

ITALIAN CALICO A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965, the Calico continues to be one of the most popular restaurants in the Valley. The Calico offers the right combination of really good food, (much of which is grown in our own gardens in the summer), friendly staff; a reasonably priced menu and a large selection of wine. Our bar scene is eclectic with a welcoming vibe. Open nightly at 5 p.m. 2560 Moose Wilson Rd., (307) 733-2460.

MEXICAN EL ABUELITO Serving authentic Mexican cuisine and appetizers in a unique Mexican atmosphere. Home of the original Jumbo Margarita. Featuring a full bar with a large selection of authentic Mexican beers. Lunch served weekdays 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Nightly dinner specials. Open seven days, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. 385 W. Broadway, (307) 733-1207.

PIZZA DOMINO’S PIZZA Hot and delicious delivered to your door. Handtossed, deep dish, crunchy thin, Brooklyn style and artisan pizzas; bread bowl pastas, and oven baked sandwiches; chicken wings, cheesy breads and desserts. Delivery. 520 S. Hwy. 89 in Kmart Plaza, (307) 733-0330.

PINKY G’S The locals favorite! Voted Best Pizza in Jackson Hole 2012, 2013 and 2014. Seek out this hidden gem under the Pink Garter Theatre for NY pizza by the slice, salads, stromboli’s, calzones and many appetizers to choose from. Try the $7 ‘Triple S’ lunch special.Happy hours 10 p.m. - 12 a.m. Sun.- Thu. Text PINK to 71441 for discounts.

Delivery and take-out. Open daily 11a.m. to 2 a.m. 50 W. Broadway, (307) 734-PINK.

PIZZERIA CALDERA Jackson Hole’s only dedicated stone-hearth oven pizzeria, serving Napolitana-style pies using the freshest ingredients in traditional and creative combinations. Five local micro-brews on tap, a great selection of red and white wines by the glass and bottle, and one of the best views of the Town Square from our upstairs deck. Daily lunch special includes slice, salad or soup, any two for $8. Happy hour: half off drinks by the glass from 4 - 6 daily. Dine in or carry out. Or order online at PizzeriaCaldera.com, or download our app for iOS or Android. Open from 11am - 9:30pm daily at 20 West Broadway. 307-201-1472.

SUDOKU

S A L E S ASSO

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

CIATE

POSITION

ARE YOU MOTIVATED, HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR AND DO WHAT IT TAKES TO GET IT DONE? Planet Jackson Hole is currently looking for an Advertising Associate who can help us stay in touch with some of our awesome advertisers as well as be our on-the-streets super star for Planet JH. The ideal person will be outgoing, hard-working, a team player and must have some experience.

PLEASE SEND YOUR RESUME AND A BRIEF EXPLANATION OF WHY YOU THINK YOU’RE THE ONE TO: JEN@PLANETJH.COM

L.A.TIMES “BORDER PAIRS” By Rebecca Durant

SUNDAY, MARCH 20, 2016

ACROSS

81 Roadside sign 82 Été month 83 Outdo 85 Check numbers 86 Songwriter Bacharach 87 South Carolina athlete 89 Start of a solution 92 Get ready for work 93 Wagering letters 94 *Financial oversight group 99 Sequence of 106-Across 101 English city that’s home to Kirkgate Market 102 Diamond gem 106 99-Across things 108 Monthly pmt.

109 “Un-shareable since 1972” breakfast food 110 “Norma __” 111 Dover diapers 113 Answers to starred clues, as hinted by this puzzle’s title?

118 Buds in a circle 119 Slide by 120 Adorned 121 The least bit 122 Circular currents 123 Underground maze

DOWN

78 In, on a stamp 80 Inspector Dalgliesh in P.D. James novels 84 Ability 86 Poker Flat chronicler Harte 88 City NNW of Naples 89 Freezing 90 Pentagon org.

91 Ambulance initials 92 Agnus __ 95 Den fixture 96 Hearths 97 Frat party garment 98 Flip-flops 100 Louvre Pyramid architect 103 Vestige 104 Like one who can’t wait 105 Wetland stalks 106 What FAQs offer 107 Mountain lake 108 She, in Salerno 109 In addition 112 Mount Washington summer hrs.

114 Tidy sum 115 Prefix with dermis 116 Univ. senior’s exam 117 Motor City org.

MARCH 16, 2016 | 27

10 One getting ahead?

20 Texas mission 30 Skewered Thai dish 40 Run smoothly 50 Language suffix 60 Washington airport 70 “It’s all good, dude” 80 Revivalists 90 __ Tomé 10 Fluid applied through a nib 11 Stop running, as an engine 12 Rewards for tricks 13 Seek sneakily, with “for” 14 Tiny crawler 15 Rosary relative 16 Yankee manager after

Showalter 17 *Too much to handle 18 Land in un lago 19 Regard 24 Lang on “Smallville” 29 Slyly spiteful 32 Apple cousin 33 End of chem class?

34 “Moonlight Sonata” directive 35 “How was __ know?”

36 Demeter’s Roman counterpart 38 Tale 39 Prefix with tiller 41 Acronymic Apple assistant 42 Gp. putting letters in boxes 43 Maui ciao 44 Business bigwig 45 *Forced to apologize 48 See 66-Across 50 Boor 51 Old, in Oberhausen 52 Cyclades island 53 Bights, e.g.

56 In base eight 57 Cruller coating 58 Comm. with STOP signs 59 Call to mind 61 Mediterranean island country 63 95-Down convenience 67 What culinary alarms measure 68 Ending for song or slug 69 “Right you are” 70 Old Russian monarchs 71 Betting aids: Abbr.

74 Genetics lab subject 75 Palm starch 76 Dredge, as with flour 77 Partner of up

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

10 Beauty pageant accessories 70 Won’t take no for an answer 13 Information unit 20 Grammar class subject 21 More malicious 22 Not done externally 23 *Part of a Quaker recipe batch 25 Shock 26 Thurman of film 27 New Mexico county or its seat 28 Alicia’s son in “The Good Wife” 30 Golf tournament kickoff 31 Schroeder’s most prized possession 34 Vatican City statue 36 Character on a staff 37 *It attracts koalas 40 Corvallis sch.

43 First-stringers 46 Each 47 Ristorante desserts 49 One not honoring an oath 50 Hideaway 53 Data measure 54 Big Ten athlete since 2014, briefly 55 Slugger Mel 56 *Beverage made from sunwithered leaves 60 Absorption process 62 Buzz and trim 64 Assessment 65 2015 Verizon acquisition 66 With 48-Down, Martha Kent portrayer on “Smallville” 67 Divine rings 68 Sole food 72 “Today” rival, initially 73 Bk. before Daniel 74 “Don’t worry” 75 Many a text writer 79 *Cyclades setting

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

28 | MARCH 16, 2016

Forgotten Past What our ancestors have been trying to tell us.

“Humanity as a species suffers from amnesia about our own history.” - Graham Hancock

L

ost civilizations have gone to great lengths to leave records for our benefit telling us about who they were, what they knew, and what has gone down here on Earth. Many of these have been passed down to us in ancient sacred texts and legends.

Some of these “stories” have seemed so improbable that until recently they have been overlooked, forgotten, censored or simply not taken seriously. This article is about two of the missing chapters recorded in legends worldwide, which are now supported by mounting scientific evidence.

Race of giants

• USA: Ancient skeletons of giant humans have been found in many parts of the country including California, Ohio, Wisconsin and Texas.

Evidence of nuclear wars thousands of years ago The Mahabharata, an ancient sacred text from India written between five and eight thousand years ago, describes a war with flying chariots in the skies deploying weapons that could decimate entire armies, “causing crowds of warriors with steeds and elephants and weapons to be carried away as if they were dry leaves of trees.”

Further excerpts about the war accurately describe what we now recognize as the effects of a nuclear explosion: “A single projectile charged with all the power of the Universe…an incandescent column of smoke and flame as bright as the thousand suns…the cloud of smoke rising after its first explosion formed into expanding round circles like the opening of giant parasols… the corpses were so burned as to be unrecognizable…the hair and nails fell out…pottery broke without apparent cause…and the birds turned white. After a few hours all foodstuffs were infected…”

Archaeological evidence

The existence of an actual race of less-than-friendly giants who stood in excess of 10 feet tall is one of many forgotten chapters in our past for which there are both prolific legendary references and supporting archeological finds. A brief sample of the ancient global sources includes: • Old Testament Genesis: “There were giants in the earth in those days…”

• Old Testament Numbers 13:33: “There we saw the Giants and we were like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight.”

• South American legends tell of giants who were sometimes taken as Gods.

• Legends from Great Britain include the giants of Albion.

• A history of North American Paiute Indians describes encounters with cannibalistic red-haired giants whose height was 10 to 12 feet.

• African culture is replete with legends about many distinct races of giants, some of whom were peaceful; others were extremely violent.

Archaeological excavations of Indian cities have revealed signs of atomic warfare. There is no evidence of volcanic eruptions or meteor strikes in these areas. Someone eight to 10 thousand years ago had this technology, or something we have yet to invent. Some findings include: • Skeletons thousands of years old unearthed in excavations of ancient cities in India (Harappa and Mohenjo Daro) were found flattened to the ground lying unburied in the streets.

Levels of radioactivity in these skeletons were similar to those found in skeletons from Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

• Excavations in northern India show indications of explosions of great magnitude. Huge masses of walls and foundations of these ancient cities are fused together, literally turned to glass.

• The same type of glass is found in India, Egypt, and many other global locations—all thousands of years old. Deserts on a number of continents today are said to be the result of (prehistoric) nuclear warfare.

Archaeological discoveries

Of further interest

Archaeologists have found the remains of giant human skeletons on most every continent. Some of the physical discoveries include: • South Africa: A giant human footprint measuring more than five feet in length was found embedded in a granite outcropping millions of years old.

• Morocco: Discovery of an arsenal of ancient hunting weapons with axes so large and so heavy that it would take a giant of at least 13 feet to wield them.

• Mexico: Skeletons of giants 10 to 12 feet tall have been unearthed.

Robert Oppenheimer, head of the Manhattan Project, was familiar with the ancient Indian texts. When he was asked how he felt about the first atomic bomb detonating on earth, Oppenheimer replied, “Not first atomic bomb, but first atomic bomb in modern times.”

More to ponder Our human history is richer, deeper, older, and more mind blowing than we have realized. Research the topics mentioned in this article if you want to further expand your horizons. PJH

Carol Mann is a longtime Jackson resident, radio personality, former Grand Targhee Resort owner, author, and clairvoyant.

Got a Cosmic Question? Email carol@yourcosmiccafe.com

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T H E H O L E C A L E N D A R .CO M

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JH

Who will prevent an outbreak of gang violence on the Westbank?

BY CLYDE THORNHILL

I

JOB OPENINGS SOLICITATIONS FOR BIDS PUBLIC NOTICES AND OTHER VALUABLE INFORMATION

The public meeting agendas and minutes for the Board of County Commissioners and Planning Commission can also be found in the Public Notices section of the JH News and Guide.

Wilson Moms vs.

The CRIPS

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snorted a greeting as Sheriff Whalen walked into my office. The sheriff doesn’t acknowledge me in public, but when he gets his panties in a jam he’s knocking down my door.

“There is going to be a gang war on the Westbank if we don’t stop it,” Whalen said.

I lifted an eyebrow. The only gang I knew of was the CRIPS, (Cool Realtors Increasing Price of Sale), a gang that started in South Central Vail before expanding to Aspen, Park City and more recently, Jackson. They get babes hooked on hot yoga and then, feeding their addiction with promises of a 10-class punch card at Inversion, force them to loiter in tight yoga outfits outside high-end listings, increasing the offering price by up to seven percent.

“Recently a homegrown gang, the Wilson Moms, has butted heads with the CRIPS,” Whalen told me. “They want Realtors to support subsidized housing so they don’t have to pay their nannies as much. To force the issue they hired Hog Islanders to drive their old Chevy trucks around the Pines, which is causing a downward spiral in real estate prices. Now things are getting ugly. Just last week, Elevated Grounds was broken into; all their organic, small batch roasted coffee was replaced with Folgers. One outraged resident reported finding a crushed Bud Light can in the

same recycle bin as his empty bottle of 2010 Chateau Montelena Cabernet Sauvignon.”

“What’s all this to me?” I asked.

“No one has the power to face the gangs except the Backcountry family. I want you to talk to them; get them to stop to the conflict,” Whalen said.

I gulped. The Backcountry family is run

by Andy and Kichan of Wilson Backcountry Sports. They control the fat ski black market and are known for psychopathic violence toward any who steal lines.

“Why would they want to get involved with petty real estate deals?” I asked. “They already control fat skis?”

The sheriff shook his head. “That’s for you to figure out. By the way, I hear Velda got busted for growing pot while volunteering at the vertical greenhouse. I could make things hard on her.”

“Get out,” I said.

The next day I walked into Wilson Backcountry.

“What you want, Thornhill,” Kichan snarled.

“I’m on a goodwill mission. I need the Backcountry family to stop the war between the Wilson Moms and the CRIPS.” “Ha!” Kichan blurted. “What we care about that?”

“I know what happened between you and Travis Rice on Olympic Bowl,” I said, only half-bluffing.

According to my sources, Kichan tortured Rice with a Black Diamond Vapor 1 Carbon Ski Pole with minimalist foam grip and Soft Touch upper ($149.95 retail) after catching him shooting film without allowing the Backcountry Family to “wet their beak.”

“Ha!” Kichan growled. “The feds knew about it. Since Rice just a snowboarder, no one cared.”

“I could pass the word that what really happened was you were taking snowboard lessons,” I said.

For a second, I saw terror in Kichan’s eyes.

“You bastard!” she snorted.

I smiled. “I’m glad you finally understand me.” PJH

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Artist Steven Spazuk works exclusively with an unusual medium: soot from candles and torches. He spreads the stuff across a blank canvas, then uses various instruments to sculpt the accidental blobs into definitive forms. I’ve seen the results, and they’re both well-done and intriguing. What would be the metaphorical equivalent, in your world, of using soot to make beautiful and interesting things? I think you’re primed to turn waste into building blocks, rot into splendor and lead into gold. (See Spazuk’s work at Spazuk.com.)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Carl Sagan said that science thrives on “two seemingly contradictory attitudes: an openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre or counterintuitive, and the most ruthless skeptical scrutiny of all ideas, old and new.”

Whether or not you are a scientist, Taurus, I recommend that you practice this approach in the coming weeks. It’s the tool that’s most likely to keep you centered and free of both rigidity and illusion. As Sagan concluded, this is “how deep truths are winnowed from deep nonsense.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) “Excess on occasion is exhilarating,” said British author W. Somerset Maugham. “It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.” Now would be an excellent time to take that advice to heart, Gemini.

According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you not only have a license to engage in rowdy fun and extravagant pleasures; it’s your sacred duty. So get out there and treat yourself to an orgy of naughty adventures—or at least a celebration of meaningful thrills. You can return to the rigors of discipline and order once you have harvested the healthy benefits that will come from escaping them.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) At one point in Friedrich Nietzsche’s book Thus Spoke Zarathustra, the hero is having a conversation with himself. “You have wanted to pet every monster,” he says. “A whiff of warm breath, a little soft tuft on the paw—and at once you were ready to love and to lure it.” If I were you, Cancerian, I would regard that type of behavior as forbidden in the coming weeks. In fact, I will ask you not to pet any monsters at all—not even the cute ones; not even the beasties and rascals and imps that have slight resemblances to monsters. It’s time for maximum discernment and caution. (P.S.: One of the monsters may ultimately become a non-monstrous ally if you are wary toward it now.)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) “I’ll make love when the lust subsides,” sings Denitia, one-half of the electro-pop band Denitia and Sene. That would be a good motto for you to play around with in the coming days, Scorpio—in both literal and metaphorical ways. I’ll enjoy seeing how your emotional intelligence ripens as the white-hot passion of recent weeks evolves into a more manageable warmth. As fun as the intensity has been, it has blinded you to some of the possibilities for collaborative growth that have been emerging. You may now be ready to explore and appreciate sweeter, subtler pleasures.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “The poems I have loved the most are those I have understood the least,” said T. S. Eliot. I’m going to steal and expand upon his idea for the purpose of giving you an accurate horoscope. In the coming days, Sagittarius, I suspect that the experiences you love most will be those that you understand the least. Indeed, the experiences you NEED the most will be those that surprise and mystify and intrigue you. Luckily, life will be ingenious in bypassing your analytical intelligence so as to provide you with rich emotional stimuli for your soul.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Capricorn painter Henri Matisse made the following testimony about his creative process: “At each stage I reach a balance, a conclusion. At the next sitting, if I find that there is a weakness in the whole, I make my way back into the picture by means of the weakness—I re-enter through the breach—and I reconceive the whole. Thus everything becomes fluid again.” I recommend this approach to you in the coming days, Capricorn. You’ve been making decent progress on your key project. To keep up the good work, you should now find where the cracks are, and let them teach you how to proceed from here.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) “We all lead three lives,” said Austrian novelist Thomas Bernhard, “an actual one, an imaginary one and the one we are not aware of.” I suspect you’ll get big glimpses of your third life in the coming weeks, Aquarius: the one you’re normally not aware of. It might freak you out a bit, maybe unleash a few blasts of laughter and surges of tears. But if you approach these revelations with reverent curiosity, I bet they will be cleansing and catalytic. They are also likely to make you less entranced by your imaginary life and better grounded in your actual life.

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) “The greatest illusion is not religion,” says aphorist Michael Lipsey. “It’s waking up in the morning imagining how much you’re going to get done today.” But even if that’s often true, Pisces, I suspect that you have the power to refute it in the coming weeks. Your ability to accomplish small wonders will be at a peak. Your knack for mastering details and acting with practical acumen may be unprecedented. For the immediate future, then, I predict that you’ll largely be able to get done what you imagine you can get done.

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

4 2 8 0 W. L E E P E R • W I L S O N • 3 0 7 - 7 3 3 - 4 3 3 1

MARCH 16, 2016 | 31

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) In the coming weeks, you will have maximum power to revise and reinvigorate your approach to cultivating intimate relationships. To aid your quest, I offer this paraphrased advice from Andrew Boyd: Almost every one of us seeks a special partner who is just right. But there is no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why? Because you yourself are “wrong” in some ways—you have demons and flaws and problems. In fact, these “wrongs” are essential components of who you are. When you ripen into this understanding, you’re ready to find and be with your special counterpart. He or she has the

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) In her book The Winter Vault, Anne Michaels says, “We become ourselves when things are given to us or when things are taken away.” If she’s right, does it mean we should be grateful for those times when things are taken away? Should we regard moments of loss as therapeutic prods that compel us to understand ourselves better and to create ourselves with a fiercer determination? Meditate on these possibilities, Libra. In the meantime, I’m pleased to announce that the things-getting-taken-away period of your cycle is winding down. Soon you’ll begin a new phase, when you can become a deeper, stronger version of yourself because of the things that are given to you.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) On a social media site, I posted the following quote from self-help teacher Byron Katie: “Our job is unconditional love. The job of everyone else in our life is to push our buttons.” One commenter took issue with this. “‘Pushing buttons’ is a metaphor that’s long past its expiration date,” she wrote. “Can’t you come up with something fresher?”

So I did. Here are a few potential substitutes for “push our buttons”: “tweak our manias,” “prank our obsessions,” “glitter-bomb our biases,” “squeeze our phobias,” “badger our compulsions,” “seduce our repressions” or “prick our dogmas.” Whichever expression you prefer, Leo, find a graceful way to embrace your fate: Your current job is unconditional love. The job of everyone else in your life is to tweak your manias and prick your dogmas.

precise set of problems you need, and is the person who is wrong for you in just the right ways. (See Boyd’s original quote: Tinyurl.com/BoydQuote.)

32 | MARCH 16, 2016

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |