Planet JH 5.04.16

JACKSON HOLE’S ALTERNATIVE VOICE | PLANETJH.COM | MAY 4-10, 2016

Houses of the Holy STRIVING TO GET AHEAD, GET A HOME, IN THE POVERTY OF PARADISE LOST.

By Jake Nichols

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

2 | MAY 4, 2016

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JACKSON HOLE'S ALTERNATIVE VOICE

VOLUME 14 | ISSUE 17 | MAY 4-10, 2016

10 COVER STORY HOUSES OF THE HOLY Striving to get ahead, get a home, in the poverty of paradise lost.

Cover photo illustration by Summer Montgomery.

4 OPINION

19 WELL, THAT

6 THE BUZZ

23 IMBIBE

14 CREATIVE PEAKS

28 NATURAL MED

16 MUSIC BOX

31 SATIRE

THE PLANET TEAM

ART DIRECTOR

COPY EDITOR

Cait Lee / art@planetjh.com

Jake Nichols

PUBLISHER

SALES DIRECTOR

CONTRIBUTORS

Jen Tillotson / jen@planetjh.com

Mike Bressler, Rob Brezsny, Bree Buckley, Meg Daly, Aaron Davis, Kelsey Dayton, Dr. Monique Lai, Carol Mann, Pete Muldoon, Andrew Munz, Jake

Copperfield Publishing, John Saltas EDITOR

Robyn Vincent / editor@planetjh.com

SALES EXTRAORDINAIRE

Caroline Zieleniewski / caroline@planetjh.com

Nichols, Ted Scheffler, Chuck Shepherd, Tom Tomorrow, Jim Woodmencey

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May 4, 2016

By Meteorologist Jim Woodmencey

M

ay got off to a nice start earlier this week, but don’t get suckered-in to thinking that May is all about beautiful spring weather. May is the wettest month of the year in Jackson, averaging 1.80 inches of precipitation. The all-time record precipitation for the month of May was 4.82 inches in 1967. That is a lot of water. Oh, and it can also still snow in May. Some notably snowy May’s in Jackson were: 1973 with eight inches of snow for the month and 1942 with 14.5 inches.

SPONSORED BY GRAND TETON FLOOR & WINDOW COVERINGS

Average low temperatures are getting closer to being above the freezing mark this week, averaging right around 30-degrees. The record low temperatures this week are not as encouraging, with most of them down in the teens, and the coldest temperature recorded during this week was not so long ago, back on May 4th, 2001 it got down to 11-degrees in Jackson. Don’t worry though; June will be here before you know it.

While the average high temperatures this week finally make it to 60-degrees, for the first time this year, record high temperatures are more reminiscent of an early August afternoon. Especially the warmest temperature ever recorded in Jackson during this week, which is 82-degrees, set back on May 7th, 1934. The earliest day of the year that we have ever made it to 80-degrees in Jackson was on May 4th, and that happened back in 1947.

NORMAL HIGH NORMAL LOW RECORD HIGH IN 1934 RECORD LOW IN 2001

60 30 82 11

THIS MONTH AVERAGE PRECIPITATION: 1.8 inches RECORD PRECIPITATION: 4.8 inches (1967) AVERAGE SNOWFALL: 1 inch RECORD SNOWFALL: 14.5 inches (1942)

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MAY 4, 2016 | 3

Jim has been forecasting the weather here for more than 20 years. You can find more Jackson Hole Weather information at www.mountainweather.com

WHAT’S COOL WHAT’S HOT

THIS WEEK

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

JH ALMANAC

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

4 | MAY 4, 2016

GUEST OPINION Zombie Politics A lobbying group’s agenda would only exacerbate the housing crisis.

BY PETE MULDOON

T

hroughout the Town of Jackson’s District 2 rezoning process, one thing has remained clear. The public is overwhelmingly opposed to increasing the commercial development potential in the Town and County beyond what the Comprehensive Plan allows.

After taking precious time away from jobs and family to organize against increased development that would negatively impact the community as a whole, residents were rewarded with a resounding victory at January’s Town and County Joint Information Meeting, where elected officials agreed to limit future non-residential development to an additional 5.1 million square feet in Teton County.

It’s important to note that while many residents feel this additional 5.1 million square feet (which has not yet been built) is already too much, they recognize that it is the number the community agreed to in the Comprehensive Plan, and are willing to accept that reality.

But a new group in Jackson is not.

“Think About It, JH” is a lobbying group which recently burst onto the social media scene with a slick new website and a Facebook page. Paying to have their posts boosted, they’ve suddenly become very high profile.

Their message is seductive. If you read the headlines, you would think that their main objective is to solve the housing crisis and reduce traffic. These, of course, are issues that are foremost in the minds of most residents.

Yet buried in the fine print is really only one actual policy proposal: to allow for more commercial development than was agreed upon by the Town and County in January.

Let’s be clear about one thing. All additional commercial development will worsen the housing crisis. If you are serious about the housing shortage, you cannot be in favor of adding more commercial, period.

So who is behind “Think About It, JH”?

The website and Facebook page are anonymous, and

when I posted a rebuttal on their Facebook page a couple weeks ago, it was quickly deleted. That, obviously, is their right, but it certainly seems that they’re more interested in a marketing campaign than in publicly debating the issues. That’s understandable, of course, because that debate already took place and the pro-growth position lost.

The group did, however, write a guest shot in last week’s News & Guide. It was signed, unsurprisingly, by a group of property and business owners, some of whom stand to profit personally from allowing increased commercial development. Among them are Mike Halpin (developer and owner of Lost Creek Ranch), Joe and Denise Rice (owners of six local restaurants and additional undeveloped property), Mark Barron (business and property owner and former mayor of Jackson), and Ted Staryk (owner of Snake River Brewing Company and former director of the McKnight Foundation, a private foundation with more than $2 billion in assets).

The known backers of “Think About It, JH” are not people likely to ever have any first-hand experience with housing insecurity.

This is zombie politics. No matter how often we reject these policies, they just keep coming back.

Voters who are strapped for time with jobs and families only have so much time to commit to politics, while the pro-development forces have seemingly unlimited time and money.

They can afford to keep coming back.

They have all the time in the world to keep walking these dead proposals back to our electeds, searching for yet another pound of flesh from the working class of our community.

“Think About It, JH” says they need more commercial development to support small businesses. Unlike them, I actually am a small business owner with insecure office space. But when I see families who have lived in this community for years evicted from their homes and literally left homeless, I find it amazing that increasing office space availability for start-ups should be a top priority for anyone.

Do you know what you’d do if you found yourself face to face with a bear or mountain lion?

If not, you should attend the...

They also talk about how downtown businesses will help solve the housing crisis if we only give them more commercial development, which means more jobs and more workers who will need more housing. They talk about solving our traffic problems by adding more downtown commercial space, as though more space will not attract more customers who drive more cars.

I don’t know what their strategy is. They have no actual policy proposals, much less any ideas that could ever get past an informed electorate. But they do a great job of highlighting problems, while pushing policies that will only worsen them. Their Facebook page has more than 500 likes after just a few weeks. Perhaps they plan to show this to the electeds as proof of support for the destructive policies they’ve buried beneath the feelgood headlines. They’ve clearly enlisted the help of some talented marketing people, and this a campaign to misinform the public and to weaken the resolve of voters by muddying the waters.

Locals have resoundingly rejected more commercial development. It’s time for an end to the zombie politics of more growth, of more for the haves while ignoring the distress of those who have not.

The community has spoken, and we must move forward to finding positive solutions to our housing and traffic problems.

There are desperate people in our community—some that can’t put a roof over their heads or food on their plates. They are our friends and neighbors and co-workers. They are our teachers and dishwashers and landscapers. They’re the people who get their hands dirty and do the heavy lifting in Jackson Hole. They deserve better than being forced to expend more precious time, energy and money fighting these zombie proposals. Let’s think about them, Jackson Hole. PJH

“When I see families who have lived in this community for years evicted from their homes and literally left homeless, I find it amazing that increasing office space for startups should be a top priority for anyone.”

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MAY 4, 2016 | 5

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6 | MAY 4, 2016

THE BUZZ Giving a Face to the Displaced The H.U.G. Project shines a light on people one step away from homelessness.

BY MEG DALY @megdaly1

For all MEETING AGENDAS AND MINUTES WEEKLY CALENDAR JOB OPENINGS SOLICITATIONS FOR BIDS PUBLIC NOTICES AND OTHER VALUABLE INFORMATION

Visit our website

TetonWyo.org The public meeting agendas and minutes for the Board of County Commissioners and Planning Commission can also be found in the Public Notices section of the JH News and Guide.

WREN FIALKA

A

s 250 residents are evicted from the Virginian Village Apartments, placing affected folks in the community spotlight is increasingly important.

Neomi Garcia and her sons Ventura and Dominic are the recipients of a “community H.U.G.” from the Spread the Love Commission. A nonprofit providing assistance to local and national homeless and displaced people, Spread the Love’s H.U.G. Project stands for Humans United in Giving.

“My goal is to put a face to the people who are facing eviction and homelessness in our community,” said Spread the Love founder Wren Fialka.

For the Garcias, that “face” resembles the face of any young family—kind, hopeful, loving. But the Garcias’ dire housing situation is emblematic of another face—one of desperation that is plaguing more and more families and individuals in Jackson.

In the case of the Virginian Village Apartments, residents were given barely a month’s notice to vacate their homes. Those residents include working people, elderly people, pregnant mothers, children, and people with special needs.

“There is nowhere for them to go,” Fialka lamented.

Neomi Garcia recently became the sole breadwinner for her boys when her husband had to return to Mexico. Her job at a supermarket does not pay all the bills and there have been times when the family eats just one meal a day, Fialka said.

Neomi’s youngest son, Dominic, has autism, adding complexity to an already stressful situation. According to Fialka, Neomi worries she will be forced to send the boys to Mexico to stay with family while she looks for housing here.

In attempt to garner donations, Fialka recently put out a call on Facebook explaining the Garcias’ plight. In four days, she received enough money to provide essential clothing items and $200 in grocery gift certificates. She welcomes further donations.

But what will provide the Garcias the most support is a place to live. “We are really hoping that someone with an extra room or guest house can put them up,” Fialka said.

The Garcias also need a temporary foster home for the family’s dog, Charlie.

The Garcia family is among the 250 residents being evicted from the Virginian Village Apartments.

“Many other families and individuals are facing this same problem in our community,” Fialka said. She was connected with the Garcias through the Latino Resource Center and the Community Resource Center (CRC).

The two local organizations are on the front lines helping folks affected by Jackson’s housing crisis.

But community organizations cannot make housing appear out of thin air. With evictions on the scale of Virginian Village, the community’s need has expanded exponentially. If a relatively smaller scale crisis occurs—say, the fire at Aspen Meadows apartments—displaced fire victims join a long line of people looking for homes.

“We have to put [the Aspen Meadows fire] in the context of 250 people being evicted from Virginian,” said Mary Erickson, executive director of CRC. Erickson has noted publicly that Jackson’s housing shortage now constitutes an emergency. “If people want to help, the best thing is to donate money,” Erickson said. “We can earmark it for emergency housing.”

According to Erickson, several families had to vacate their homes May 1. They now have two weeks until the sheriff will be called in. “A handful have found places. We found a low-income apartment in Kemmerer for one of our elderly clients. That was tough since he has been here 28 years,” she said.

The next round of evictions will happen June 1.

“People are facing an amount of loss that is hard to wrap our heads around,” Fialka said.

But that shouldn’t be a reason for inaction,

she continued. “Everything helps. Do whatever you can on a small or large scale. Any gesture, if it’s done in a compassionate meaningful way, is very helpful.”

The H.U.G. Project is the Spread the Love Commission’s first Jackson-based project.

Since its inception in 2015, Spread the Love has distributed tailor-made care packages to homeless people in San Francisco and Salt Lake City. Their most recent campaign provided care packages for needy residents at the Cheyenne River Indian Reservation in South Dakota.

A key component of Spread the Love Commission’s mission is to act locally, nationally, and internationally. “I find it really important to not acknowledge borders,” Fialka said. “We are all citizens of the world and we should act accordingly.”

Currently the organization is comprised solely of volunteers, including Fialka. She says the caliber of volunteer help has been “astounding.” Fialka plans for the H.U.G. Project to continue and grow, working with schools and other local organizations.

“If we can H.U.G. one family at a time, we may really be able to make a difference,” Fialka said, “And show what type of community we truly are.” PJH For more info about the Spread the Love Commission and the H.U.G. Project, send a message to Wren Fialka via her Facebook page: facebook.com/wfialka. Cash donations are urgently needed to help residents of Virginian Village. Visit crcjh.org/donate/ or call the Community Resource Center, 739-4500.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

MAY 4, 2016 | 7

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

8 | MAY 4, 2016

THEM ON US

By JAKE NICHOLS

Ocean to ocean Ultra-runner Lisa Smith-Batchen will lace up her jogging shoes in Los Angeles and plans on pulling them off in New York City less than 48 days later. Smith-Batchen believes she can break the Trans-Continental speed record, which would require her to log about 68 miles a day.

Cheyenne’s KGWN-TV reported the Teton Valley resident will be raising money for the Tyler Robinson Foundation.

TRF has helped more than 300 families struggling with a child diagnosed with cancer. Smith-Batchen began her run on April 24.

Mining coal’s silver lining Wyoming received some good news along with the bad concerning coal. On the heels of massive layoffs came news that the northwest railroad passage looks officially dead in its tracks. The Surface Transportation Board shot down a proposed $400M railroad that would have hauled coal from the Wyoming/Montana border early last week. The project has been three decades in the planning but Arch Coal’s recent bankruptcy put it on the shelf.

The good news for the Cowboy State is construction will begin on a high-tech lab that will test new technologies using carbon emissions from coal-fired power plants. Gov. Matt Mead was on hand for the groundbreaking at Basin Electric’s Dry Fork Station power plant near Gillette. The goal of the plant, called the Integrated Test Center, is to not only to prevent CO2 from entering the atmosphere but to put the gas to profitable use.

The Gillette News Record was one of dozens of state media outlets reporting the news.

Blowing in the wind

RE

W PO AN RT TE ER D

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What a great headline rewrite by the Wyoming Tribune Eagle. The Tribune reran a Wyoming Business Report story on wind energy this week with their own headline: “Why isn’t Wyoming the Saudi Arabia of wind?”

It was better than WBR’s original head, “Wind energy could be poised to blow wide open.” A 2015 report from the Department of Energy projects that wind will provide 20 percent of the country’s electricity by 2030, compared to 5 percent today. Wyoming has had trouble sustaining excitement in harnessing its enormous wind energy potential.

No drone zone Don’t even think about it, heli-hunters. The Wyoming Game and Fish Commission has banned the practice of scouting for wildlife with a manned or unmanned aircraft during hunting season. The ban on drone-assisted hunting goes into effect this August.

Chief state game warden Brian Nesvik told the Casper Star-Tribune that dozens of hunters and representatives from hunting groups supported the ban.

Broncos snag Poke The Denver Broncos signed free agent Wyoming Cowboy standout Eddie Yarborough after the defensive end went unselected in the NFL Draft. The 6-foot-3, 251-pound Yarbrough was a three-time All-Mountain West selection with the Cowboys. He is from Aurora, Colorado.

“Eddie is very deserving of this opportunity,” UW head coach Craig Bohl said in a release. “Eddie is an outstanding player and an outstanding young man, who did everything the right way throughout his career at Wyoming. We think he’ll have an opportunity for a long-term career in the NFL.” ESPN and USA Today carried the story, among others.

PJH

NEWS OF THE

WEIRD

By CHUCK SHEPHERD That’s Entertainment!

One notably hypersuccessful YouTube channel (700,000 subscribers) features Mr. Lauri Vuohensilta of Finland pulverizing various objects (such as a bowling ball) in a 100-ton hydraulic press.

“I think it’s built into every person—the need to destroy something,” Vuohensilta says. That channel is free of charge, but other entrepreneurs have created 24-hour pay-per-month websites and apps offering similarly specialized programming, e.g., “Zombie Go Boom” (actors taking chain saws to things; $5 a month), “Hungry Monk Yoga” (posing in orange robes while teaching martial arts; $15 a month), and “Lather Fantasies” (clothed people “excessively shampooing each other’s hair”; $20 a month). (An April Wall Street Journal report noted that the “lather” channel “sounds kinkier than it actually is.”)

Recurring Themes

Restaurants in Tokyo continue their vigilance for unique, attention-demanding animal themes to attract diners. Eateries showcasing tableside cats, rabbits, owls, hawks and even snakes have tried their hands, with the latest being Harry, offering food and drink—and 20 to 30 teacup-size hedgehogs for diners to fondle while awaiting meal service. The equivalent of $9 brings an hour of cuddling rights.

Fine Points of the Law

In some states, as News of the Weird has reported, visitors with the barest “right” to occupy property (e.g., invited in for one night but never left) cannot be evicted except by court order, which might take weeks to obtain. In April, owners in Flint, Mich., and Nampa, Idaho, were outraged that nothing could be done quickly to remove squatters from their vacated houses. (The Nampa squatter produced a “lease” that, though fraudulent, was enough to send the sheriff away.)

n The two most recent instances of suspects who claimed that the drugs or paraphernalia found in their genitals during police searches were not theirs (but were only being stored there for other people) were Tiffany Flores, 23, arrested in Fellsmere, Fla., on April 5 with a crack pipe in her vagina, and Deondre Lumpkin, 23, arrested in Largo, Fla., on March 22 with crack cocaine “concealed beneath his genitals” (though he did admit owning the marijuana found in his car).

Smooth Getaway

The December burglary of the Halifax bank in Sale, England, drew attention even though the hour was just after midnight—because Jamie Keegan and Marc Shelton (both age 33) had tried to haul away an ATM, but it fell out the back of their van, producing calamitous noise (and sparks in the road). (Also, the ATM had an “out of order” sign on it, raising still another question about the efficacy of the crime.) In February the Minshull Street Crown Court sentenced the pair to 40 months each in prison. (Bonus: In court, Shelton helpfully corrected the legal record by reminding officials that the pair’s crime was actually “burglary” and not, as written, “robbery.”) n The most recent suspect to have the bright idea to try biting off his fingertips (to avoid identification) was Kirk Kelly, wanted in Tampa for violating probation and picked up by police in February in Akron, Ohio.

While being detained in Akron, he had begun to chew the skin off his fingers. Even if he had succeeded, he was easily identified as Kirk Kelly because of his body tattoos (“Port Tampa” and “813”—Tampa’s area code).

More DIY Masters

Randy Velthuizen had lived in the house in Everson, Wash., for 20 years, but in April, he accidentally set it afire while attempting to kill weeds with a blowtorch. It was an uninsured total loss. “It just made downsizing a hell of a lot easier,” Velthuizen says. n In January, four units in an apartment house in midtown Detroit were

accidentally burned out by a tenant attempting to kill a bedbug that had bitten him. He had tried to light it up, but by the time the flames were extinguished, he was badly burned, his and three adjacent units were uninhabitable and two dozen others had suffered water damage. n Sex ’n’ Veggies: Emergency surgeons at the San Juan de Dios Hospital in Costa Rica removed an 18-inch-long “yuca” (cassava root) from the posterior of a 55-year-old man in April after one of the two condoms encasing it ruptured inside him. A photograph in San Juan’s Diario Extra showed that the yuca had been carved into a phallic shape. Apparently, the man avoided what could have been catastrophic internal injury. n Funeral directors who mix up bodies (either accidentally or, in some cases, fraudulently) are not uncommon, but Thomas Clock III of Clock Funeral Home at White Lake (Whiteside, Mich.) was charged with a bit more in April. Not only did Clock allegedly fail to bury the ashes of the late Helen Anthony in December (interring an empty box instead), but when the family asked for a specific burial date, Clock allegedly told them that no workers were available and that the family would have to dig the cemetery plot themselves—for which Clock helpfully advised using a “post hole digger.” (And they did.)

Two News of the Weird All-Time Favorites

Obsessive litigant Jonathan Lee Riches asked a federal court in Billings, Mont., in April to somehow issue a well-meaning “restraining” order against Donald Trump—to force Trump out of the presidential race on the ground that he fears assassination. Riches wrote that he loves and adores Trump but suggested as a candidate John McCain (who is “less fiery”).

Thanks this week to Sergio Brusin and Gary DaSilva, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

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MAY 4, 2016 | 9

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10 | MAY 4, 2016

Houses of the Holy STRIVING TO GET AHEAD, GET A HOME, IN THE POVERTY OF PARADISE LOST.

By Jake Nichols

L

May Day, May Day! May is the cruelest month in Jackson. As the valley

Tenant tenets When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

Whether to Star or Teton valleys, or gone for good, the soul of Jackson Hole goes to bed at night in another county or state. On Monday, newspapers announced the departure of two key town employees to Victor, Idaho. They weren’t the first to ditch their commute for quiet. They won’t be the last.

Dozens of longtime residents have fled. They were business owners, teachers, nurses, first responders— people who make this community what it is, said 18-year resident Jorge Moreno.

Moreno was homeless before he landed a place at Blair Apartments. He was nearly bounced from there last summer along with his wife and two kids when his rent increased from $1,250 to $1,800. He said things like that are causing people to leave the valley.

“Everybody says we have a crisis. I believe we have an emergency,” Moreno said. “I know fear and anger drive this discussion. But have you felt what it’s like to be evicted, to be told you are not going to be able to have a place to support your family?”

Even those that manage to scratch out a living here are barely hanging on. One caretaker, who wished to not be identified, said she lives in a place rent-free but it’s not without its challenges.

“My friends think I’m so lucky that I don’t pay rent, but I pay about $1,500 a month in bills that would typically be the responsibility of the property owner. I pay utilities of course, but also snow and trash removal, landscaping, maintenance—it adds up,” she said. “Also, the owners visit Jackson Hole more frequently than they used to. When they fly in for a week or two to visit, or any of their friends or family come, I have to get out. Me, my cats, any trace of my living there has to be erased. This is often in the summer. There is nowhere to go then. In all, I have to move four or five times a year; put my stuff in storage and sleep in my car for a week or two at a time. I have a place and I’m thankful for that, but pure joy? Not always.”

Other renters live in constant fear of ticking off their landlord in some way.

“Your rental is never secure,” said one resident. He didn’t want to be named for fear of losing his place, a $1,200 studio, 40 minutes from town. “I’ve done favors for my landlord that were originally in exchange for rent. I watch their pets when they are out of town, or I plow the drive occasionally, or I fix things all the time, myself, with my own money. I used to get rent knocked off for these things but I stopped even asking for that. I have a monthto-month lease and I don’t want to jeopardize anything or do anything that could make my landlord throw me out or jack the rent for summer.”

That renter originally found his place two years ago for $800. When summer came, the landlord hiked the rent another $200 a month. The same thing happened last summer.

MAY 4, 2016 | 11

greens up, so, too, do the bank accounts of businessmen and property owners. Motels toss hundreds of locals into the streets as they prepare to once again lodge the visitor.

Landlords jack rents or just plain evict month-to-month tenants, legally, as the prospect of banking a month’s rent in one weekend is too good to pass up.

If the annual spring shuffle isn’t taxing enough, add to that the eviction of some 300 renters from the Virginian Apartments as that complex undergoes redevelopment.

Mary Erickson, the director of the Community Resource Center (CRC), called the Virginian ordeal a “wake up call.”

And she, for one, is getting tired of hearing how it’s always been tough to make a go of it in Jackson.

“I hear that a lot: ‘We’ve always had a housing problem,’” Erickson said. “Well, I think the nature of it has changed.

Low-wage workers used to mean seasonal workers out of college. More and more we now have a year-round

community of low-wage earners that have families. That’s a very different dynamic than where we were 20 or 30 years ago. Then you have compounding problems like evictions, rent increases—and soon you are squeezing more and more people into less and less space.”

CRC conducted an informal poll amongst 26 of the 56 units at the Virginian Apartments. It identified a demographic far more engaged in the community than typical couch surfing college kids. The average tenant has been living in the apartment complex for 10.5 years. They have spouses and children, and hold down multiple jobs at restaurants, hotels, construction firms and grocery stores.

All but one said they had no idea where they will go when they are tossed out. The ‘one’ was a single mother of three.

She said she is returning to Mexico where there is more opportunity.

Rosie Read, one of two immigration lawyers in town, said she sees the homeless daily and faced the prospect herself once since her arrival to Jackson 16 years ago.

“My clients are being squeezed beyond their limits and are being forced out. Their rent is going up 40 percent and the Virginian is closing,” Read said. “With every one of these crises that keep hitting this community, there are more and more people vying for less and less places. And it’s not just my clients, but I was almost out of a home a couple of years ago because my landlord decided maybe he was going to rent to a friend for more than I was able to pay. I had nowhere to go and if I leave I don’t know who does my job. This is affecting every socio and economic segment of the population.”

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

ast summer was a preview. The hell unleashed on the valley’s quality of life included traffic jams, rising crime rates, and impossible wait times on everything from an ambulance to appetizers. It was clear evidence of a community bursting at the seams with wealth and want.

And it will get worse before it gets better.

“If you think we had a crisis last summer, hold on to your hats,” Smokey Rhea said. The commissioner who once manned the front lines at the Community Resource Center said she and her fellow electeds are working feverishly to come up with solutions. No idea, no matter how farfetched, including tent city labor camps and regular buses to an added bedroom community as far away as Pinedale, has been left off the table.

Government answers have been hampered by a lack of funds and a present subsidized housing project so maligned in the media it has caused the disintegration of the very organization designed to help build affordable housing. The private sector has done little to help, historically, and even those willing say government red tape makes it impossible.

And then there’s the “haves.” When land near homeowners is identified as potentially suitable for workforce housing, they cry “anywhere but here.”

TETON COUNTY

Town and county officials discuss housing woes at the May 2015 Housing Summit.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

12 | MAY 4, 2016

“I know a lot of people that really sweat their situation every May when a landlord could easily double the rent for the next five months. They’re happy to have your monthly check in November or April, but by July they act like you are stealing from them,” he said.

Elena Hernandez said the same thing. “If something is not working and we [complain], they say, ‘Get out of here, then.’ So my husband and I fix the apartment with our own money,” she said. “I’ve been 14 years living in the Virginian Apartments and now I am homeless. I don’t know what I can do. My husband and I have both have two jobs and we are helping our son pay for college. We can’t move further away to Victor or Alpine because we work so much.”

Classified crisis The Chamber of Commerce

has been taking a temperature of the valley by looking at the classifieds.

One glance and it’s easy to determine whether we are in a boom or bust cycle. Column inches devoted to Want Ads compared to Rentals are at an all-time radical ratio. Pages of jobs flaunt signing bonuses and possible housing. The rental section, on the other hand, is microscopic save for a few “Housing Needed” ads.

“Forget affordable rentals, there are no rentals. Period,” said Stacy Stoker, who heads the management side of the partially defunct Housing Authority. “It’s pretty much a zero percent vacancy rate. The only place you can find in the paper maybe is a three-bedroom home in Wilson that’s renting for $4,500 a month and they only want a family so you can’t even get roommates to try and make it work.”

Stoker said Phase I of The Grove went fast. Nearly a hundred households turned out for a lottery on 20 rental units. The Phase II deadline is this week and hundreds more have signed up for the Category 1, 2, and 3 ownership units—23 in all—in that building. Another 89 put in for one available resale unit at 810 West two months ago.

Marisa Watsabaugh had to quit her job at a local property management company. Trying to find housing for new residents grew increasingly difficult until she couldn’t take it anymore. “I took dozens of phone calls that absolutely crushed me,” she said. “People who just got a

job in Jackson and were looking for a place to rent. I had to be the one to say, ‘Good luck, I can’t help you.’ Meanwhile I was living on a couch myself. I couldn’t take any more phone calls with that kind of hopelessness.”

Rent to own Any remedy from Big Brother won’t be coming anytime soon. The Housing Authority’s big chance to make an impact only hastened its demise. By straight math, units at The Grove are subsidized to the tune of more than $400k each. When public outcry over the project reached the ears of commissioners, politicians did everything they could to distance themselves from the albatross.

The Authority was gutted and restructured, with a new board in place on May 1 and a new hire on the way. Stoker will likely remain as the organization’s manager, overseeing the 800 or so units the HA has under its umbrella. Stoker did not apply for the position of director currently being advertised.

“I don’t want that job,” Stoker said. “It’s going to be politically charged. Everything is a fight. It’s going to be a challenging job and it’s going to be difficult, especially with no funding. What are they going to be able to do without any money? Whoever comes in and takes that job, well, more power to them.”

Stoker played the good company soldier. While everyone from her bosses to nonprofits and private citizens raked her and her organization over the coals for The Grove, Stoker took the heat.

“I’m not the kind of person that throws anybody under the bus. I don’t do that,” Stoker said. “I don’t think that Christine [Walker, the project’s original designer and former head of the HA] had any bad intentions. The numbers were what they were based on what we built 525 Hall for. I think the whole thing was an opportunity for people who are anti-Housing Authority, and even anti-affordable housing altogether, to sling mud and that’s what they did.”

Stoker added, “I was born and raised here. I’ve lived here my whole life. I have a huge investment in this community.

All the mudslinging that goes on in the newspapers … I don’t care about that stuff. The people who know me, know me.

XXXXX

Teton County’s housing chart displays the currently unmet goal to locally house 65 percent of the workforce.

It’s just frustrating when people don’t get the facts correct.

Tim Rieser, for example, never set foot in this office. Never one time.”

Rieser has been the most outspoken critic of The Grove. The clamor he instigated reached such a roar that commissioners decided last week to switch horses in midstream, handing off Phase III to a third party charity builder, Habitat for Humanity. Stoker is not convinced the move was a wise one.

“Partly I think it was a political decision. I’m not sure that they really thought out the process that Habitat uses to put people in their units. It’s completely different than how the HA does it. When you are using public money, in my opinion, it should not be a committee that’s deciding and cherry-picking what family gets to go in,” Stoker said.

“And what Habitat presented, in my opinion, they didn’t have enough information. They just promised a lot of stuff.

I don’t know how they are going to make this happen, I really don’t.”

Stoker also answered Rieser’s claim that the HA attempted to sell off Phase I of The Grove before it was ever completed.

“Yeah, we got a couple of offers on Phase I. We talked to the attorneys and they said we could do it, but the offers were less than it cost to build. But you look at them and you consider it; you should. You can’t just poo-poo it without thinking about it,” Stoker admitted. “Tim said we had secretly listed it. Which to me doesn’t make any sense.

When you list something you are advertising it for sale.

Secrecy is kind of gone at that point. But the commissioners didn’t have any interest in that and neither did our housing board, really.”

As far as the new structure of the HA, which commissioners and councilors believe will allow them more control over the agency, Stoker insists electeds signed off on every move the Authority ever made.

“There is this perception, and I’ve heard it said, that the Housing Authority went rogue. The truth of the matter is every piece of property that’s ever been purchased or developed by the HA has been approved by the county commissioners,” Stoker said.

As far as more day-to-day control, Stoker says be careful what you wish for. “I don’t know if they know

Handcuffing help Elected officials promise help is on the way. They’ve crunched numbers, called for emergency summits, and churned out enough analytic paperwork to fill a twobedroom duplex. But government efforts have been stymied by the perception that subsidized housing is too little, too late, for too much money. The private sector says it can help but current development regs have them hamstrung.

One developer says he can help with a shovel-ready project. Another says he has helped. Both claim the town and county say they want housing but don’t act like it.

Eric Grove is proposing an ambitious housing project on an odd acre of hillside property at the ‘Y.’ He wants to build 16 deed-restricted units that he hopes employers will sign long-term leases on to house their employees.

In addition, he will construct four market rate homes to pay the bills. The property is the former home of Choice Meats and Thrifty Car Rental. Grove thought asking for a downzone from commercial to residential and offering to help alleviate the housing crunch in the valley would be a hit with the town council.

After unanimous planning commission approval, Grove’s project hit a roadblock called Budge Slide.

“All indicators were this is the kind of thing the community wants. This was an eyesore and I’m trying to make this a nicer looking area with housing for 30-something people,” Grove said. “Now, because of Budge Slide, I’m just being hammered and everyone is scrutinizing the heck out of it. I’m just running into a lot of roadblocks because of that issue. I’m the guinea pig, I’m the whipping boy for that slide.”

Grove said he has spent thousands of dollars on geo reports, soil samples, and water mitigation; all before an assurance from town officials that he’ll even get sketch plan approval. “I’m not a lavish guy. I’m not a developer. I don’t have deep pockets,” Grove said.

He says the location of his project is on a different side of the butte that

continues to ooze toward Broadway and conditions there are total distinctly different. He also said he is willing to assume the risks involved in construction there. Grove continues to be frustrated at a costly application process made more burdensome by the emotion surrounding the butte’s perceived instability.

“Are we going to stop development completely around this butte because people now think it’s ready to slide?” he asked. “There was no concern about any of those things when the Search and Rescue building was thrown at me five or six years ago. That just flew right in because it was the agenda of this community to make that happen regardless of what us as neighbors felt. Andy Schwartz [county commissioner at the time] said it to me quite frankly: ‘If it’s for the betterment of the community, we’ll do whatever we want.’ That tells me something.”

Real estate developer Greg Prugh is wrapping up a 12unit apartment complex near the Brew Pub. It was eight years in the planning grind.

“It starts with zoning, period. We have to be proactive and not reactive. And we need innovation. Do you want parking and landscaping, or housing? You can’t have it both ways. You are either for housing or are you not,” Prugh said. “[The community] just built a $70 million airport expansion.

Direct flights to Jackson were a game-changer. You can’t put that genie back in the bottle. We’re on the map. You are going to have to build higher with smaller units and surrender some parking for a walkable community.”

Prugh’s urban redevelopment design ideas are too radical for some, but the developer does have a track record of getting things done. In addition to the redo of the trailer park he is wrapping up, he put the first publicprivate, affordable housing partnership project on the ground with 810 West. He insists the model of governmentowned land with a long-term lease to a developer is the only proven way to get workforce housing on the ground. If land is government owned, housing projects suddenly start penciling for private developers.

“These housing gurus need to partner with private entities to get this stuff done. I heard the Housing Trust wants to raise $9 million to build 26 units. Is that the best use of money?” Prugh said. “Look, we run our office as a business. If we don’t make money, we don’t exist. We operate out of a tiny 600-square-foot office but we will sell almost $40M in the first quarter of this year. You don’t need all the overhead. You need to be lean and mean. Make the Housing Authority a management company concentrating on managing the units they have. What would that take, 75 thousand a year to manage all their units? People don’t want to see their money wasted.”

Anne Cresswell, head of the Jackson Hole Community Housing Trust, said she is ready to break ground on the nonprofit’s first-ever rental project. Of the

Reaction Jackson The discussion, this story of heartbreak, occurs at the height of every market bubble. In 2007-08, newspaper headlines read much the same. By 2010, the housing crunch was over. Like the tech crash of 2000, the recent housing bubble burst resulted in foreclosures and financial ruin for some. But Jackson Hole rebounds quickly. Highend real estate snaps back rapidly on the strength of better shielded whales seizing opportunity in the marketplace.

As quickly as millionaires crash and burn, billionaires are fueling the next boom.

“What we see here is this community is very reactionary,” Stoker said. She’s seen it all before. A tight rental market in the 1980s was eased somewhat with the building of Blair and other apartment complexes. When aging apartments were being condo-ized like crazy 10 years ago, it sent rents skyrocketing until electeds put a moratorium on the practice. “And then the downturn happened and people were saying we don’t need to worry about housing anymore.”

Cresswell has seen the fluctuation as well. When times are good, more rentals are needed to whether the storm.

“This June will be 13 years with the Trust for me,” she said.

“I’ve seen the pendulum swing two times—in 2008, at the top of the market, it swung from full support for affordable ownership to affordable rentals. Now I think we are seeing it again. It’s a pendulum swing.”

Prugh says a smart and steady approach is needed regardless of the economic climate.

“They say we’ll have to build three Groves per year for the next 10 years to keep up with demand. That’s mathematically impossible. It’s not going to happen,” Prugh said. “But what we should be doing is getting the most units we can in good or bad, regardless of where we are in the economic cycle. We are going to have to be smart about it. Either acknowledge the valley is changing or we suffer.” PJH

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

MAY 4, 2016 | 13

Deed restricted housing solutions at 810 West.

Trust’s 119 homes, only three are currently rentals. The shovel-ready project at Redmond and Hall will put 28 affordable rentals on the ground by next year if Cresswell convinces town councilors to match the Trust’s $6 million with another six. She is scheduled to go before the design review committee on May 11, the planning commission on May 18, and before the council on June 20 with the proposal.

“We are asking the town and county, given the urgency of the issue, to match our six million,” Cresswell said. “They have a lot of means available at their disposal. Bonding powers they haven’t tapped. Both sides of the parking lot have talked about proceeds from sales tax that are eclipsing projections. And the county has purchased a couple of parcels over the last few years, some of which we’ve agreed might not be appropriate for housing development and, if so, we think they should sell those assets to meet the needs of the community that are so urgent.”

TETON COUNTY

what they are getting themselves into,” she said. “There is a reason why the Authority was created to begin with. It was to put the housing powers that a county has through state statute at arms length so they could stay out of a lot of political backlash. It shields them from having to deal with compliance issues and all of those things that come up that aren’t easy, and they certainly don’t want to be dealing with that on a daily basis. The hardest thing in the world is to make somebody sell their home.”

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

14 | MAY 4, 2016

the latest happenings in jackson hole

CREATIVE PEAKS Beautiful Wreck

pjhcalendar.com

Meet Heather Stamenov, Teton Artlab’s artist-inresidence for May.

BY KELSEY DAYTON @kelsey_dayton

M

ost people would be embarrassed after slipping and falling trying to exit a hot tub. They might glance around to see if anyone saw it and then pretend it didn’t happen. Heather Stamenov is immortalizing it in paint.

The Utah-based artist, who is spending May in Jackson as Teton Artlab’s artist-inresidence, is drawn to telling stories in paint inspired by clumsiness and mistakes.

“Usually the stories I like to tell fit that awkward space where things happen that you don’t expect to happen,” she said.

Stamenov explores the human form in her paintings, capturing people in staged and natural poses and in quirky settings.

There’s one, for instance, of a diver toes pointed, his head already vanished in the water, surrounded by a line of legs and two cats. “I’ll create an image and wonder ‘What if I add this cat?’” she said. “That adds to the narrative. I’m building on layers in the painting. There’s a story here.”

Stamenov grew up in France and moved to Indiana at 16. It was in high school she discovered her interest and talent for art. What began as a hobby led to her studying art, specifically painting, at the Herron School of Art and Design in Indiana. She then went on to graduate school at the University of Connecticut.

She became totally immersed in oil painting, and focused on figure work.

Stamenov was always interested in the human body. As a child she walked the line between introvert and extrovert, drawn to people, but often as an observer. Figure painting allowed her to use her skills of observation she’d hone through the years.

The more she painted, the more she pondered the differences in staged posing and natural gestures.

She also started exploring capturing different angles. One day, after eating a burrito for lunch, she looked down at her belly. It inspired a painting.

For a long time she focused on curvy women, in part because it was a body-type she knew, but she also found it interesting to explore how women were presented on the

Heather Stamenov depicts the human form juxtaposed by intriguing narrative elements.

Internet and in media.

It is only in recent years she started painting men.

“It’s a body I can’t relate to as much, so it’s more of an object or just a pose to capture,” she said.

Today she finds inspiration everywhere she goes, from pop culture to a recent trip to a zoo where she couldn’t stop taking pictures of people she’ll use for painting inspiration.

The scenes she renders often start from a personal place. She’s working on a painting featuring a traffic jam of crying women coming out of a tunnel, an idea she thought of after driving for days through a snowstorm from Indiana to Utah. It made her think about anxiety and also adult tantrums.

Stamenov uses Photoshop to bend reality to create templates for her paintings. She might want a pose the model couldn’t contort into, so Stamenov moves a hand in the photo, or she puts two bodies together that don’t quite fit. It gives her paintings a surrealist sensibility.

Her oil paintings are informed by the large European works of art with full narratives. A few years ago she started also working in watercolor, which allows her to create

quicker studies.

When Stamenov first started painting, many of the people were in a room with a single wall. As she grew as a painter, she started spending more time and adding details to the settings. Her skills advanced and her vocabulary as a painter grew.

Since moving to Utah a few months ago, she’s started incorporating landscape work into her paintings, something she plans to continue experimenting with in Jackson.

“I’m a painter through and through, so I love color and shape,” she said.

She visited Moab for two weeks just to see the colors of Southern Utah’s desert landscape and hopes to explore the Tetons for more inspiration, both in subject matter and experiences.

She likes the idea of natural beauty meeting natural clumsiness.

“I’m hoping it will be a good juxtaposition with some awkward stories,” she said.

“I think juxtaposing things that way, it might feel random, but it allows me and other people to see things in a new way.” PJH

Heather Stamenov artist talk, 7 p.m., May 16; open studio 6 to 8 p.m., May 26 at Teton Artlab, 130 South Jackson Steet. Free.

THIS WEEK: May 4-10, 2016

WEDNESDAY MAY. 4

n Tips for Perennial Gardeners 6:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $15.00, 307-739-9025 n Young Adult Book Club 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Victor, Free, 208-7872201 n Beginning Throwing Hustle 6:00pm, Art Association, $225.00 - $270.00, 307-7336379 n Mac Computer Class 6:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $40.00, 307-733-7425 n The Artist’s Way 6:00pm, Spirit, $12.00, 307733-3382 n Tavern Trivia 7:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-733-3886 n KHOL Presents: Vinyl Night 9:00pm, Pink Garter Theatre, Free, 307-733-1500

THURSDAY MAY. 5

n Cinco De Mayo at Jackson Whole Grocer & Cafe 7:00am, Jackson Whole Grocer & Cafe, $6.99, 307-733-0450 n Business Over Breakfast 7:30am, e.leaven Food Company, $16.00 - $25.00, 307-2012309 n Linn Ranch Archaeology Camp 8:00am, Linn Ranch, $120.00, 307-733-2414 n Fitness & Dance Classes 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Tech Tutor 10:00am, Teton County Library, Free, 307-733-2164 ext. 218 n Toddler Time 10:05am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Storytime 10:30am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Storytime 11:00am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Cinco de Mayo at Pica’s 11:00am, Pica’s, Free, 307-7334534 n Teton Toastmasters 12:00pm, Teton County Commissioners Chambers, Free n Auxiliary Meeting 12:00pm, Moose-Wapiti Classroom, St. John’s Medical Center, Free, 307-739-7517

n Cribbage 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Driggs, Free, 208-354-5522 n Growing Through Grief 1:00pm, St. John’s Medical Center, Free, 307-739-7482 n Cancer Support Group for Patients and Survivors 3:00pm, St. John’s Medical Center Chapel, Free, 307-7396195 n Culture through Clay 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $150.00 $180.00, 307-733-6379 n Mosaic Madness 4:15pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $60.00, 307-7336379 n The Lodge at Jackson Hole Conference Center Chamber Mixer 5:00pm, The Lodge at Jackson Hole Conference Center, Free, 307-201-2309 n Whiskey Experience 6:00pm, VOM FASS Jackson Hole, Free, 307-734-1535 n Improv Class for Adults and Teens 6:00pm, Black Box Theater, $200.00, 307-733-3021 n Intermediate Throwing 6:00pm, Art Association, $170.00 - $204.00, 307-7336379 n Spring Gardening Seminar 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Driggs, Free, 208-3545522 n Stained Glass - Design with Light 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $160.00 $190.00, 307-733-6379 n Los Colores: An Art and Movement Class with Jorge Olivares in Spanish 6:00pm, Borschell Children’s Studio, $5.00, 307-733-6379 n JH Community Band Rehearsal 7:00pm, Center for the Arts Performing Arts Wing, Free, 307-200-9463 n Spanish for Fun, Work & Travel 7:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $105.00, 307-733-7425 n Rock Creek 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n Joint Replacement Class 8:00pm, Moose Wapiti Classroom in basement of St. John’s, Free, 307-739-6199

MAY 4, 2016 | 15

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 18

Compiled by Caroline Zieleniewski

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n Linn Ranch Archaeology Camp 8:00am, Linn Ranch, $120.00, 307-733-2414 n Fitness & Dance Classes 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Strollercize 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $10.00, 307-739-9025 n Story TIme 10:00am, Valley of the Tetons Library Victor, Free, 208-7872201 n Tech Tutor 10:00am, Teton County Library, Free, 307-733-2164 ext. 218 n Beginning Throwing Daytime 11:00am, Ceramics Studio, $165.00 - $198.00, 307-7336379 n Youth Job Fair 2:00pm, Jackson Hole High School, Free, 307-733-4091 n Chess Club 3:30pm, Valley of the Tetons Library - Driggs, Free, 208-3545522 n Chess Club: Grades K to 12 3:30pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 x118 n Hand and Wheel: Grades 4-8 3:45pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $150.00 $180.00, 307-733-6379 n English Riding Lessons 4:00pm, Heritage Arena, $65.00, 307-699-4136 n Self-Reflective Video 4:15pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $115.00 $138.00, 307-733-6379 n Game Night 5:00pm, Snake River Brewing, Free, 307-739-2337 n Teton Raptor Center Ambassador Orientation 5:30pm, St. John’s Episcopal Church, Free, 307-203-2551 n Survivors of Suicide Loss Support Group 6:00pm, St. John’s Medical Center Eagle Classroom, Free, 307-690-5419 n Barbara Trentham Life Drawing 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $10.00, 307733-6379 n Cribbage Club 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Driggs, Free, 208-3545522

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

16 | MAY 4, 2016

MUSIC BOX

Abundance to the Nth Members of fusion quintet Nth Power have toured with Beyonce, Chaka Khan, Maceo Parker, Big Daddy Kane.

BY AARON DAVIS @screendoorporch

T

here’s a keen sense of timing when it comes to piecing together the magic that happens within the tight grooves of The Nth Power. It’s moody, powerful and brings to mind the elements that made Weather Report’s jazz-fusion so hypnotic. Yet the contemporary approach

Fresh from Nola’s Jazz Fest, 9th Power, which lit up the Jackson stage during Contour Fest last summer, returns to the valley Tuesday. melts well with the soul of Marvin Gaye and the impact of The Roots. Add some seriously heavy dance grooves spanning R&B, rock, gospel, and World Beat, and you have a five-piece that spells much of what cannot be explained without seeing them live. Perhaps you remember them from Contour Music Festival last June?

The formula starts with heavy-hitting drummer Nikki Glaspie (Dumpstaphunk, Beyonce), compounded by ultra melodic bassist/vocalist Nate Edgar (John Brown’s Body), guitarist Nick Cassarino (Jennifer Hartswick Band, Big Daddy Kane), West African djembe master Weedie Braimah (Toubab Krewe, Kreative Pandemonium), newest member, keyboardist/vocalist Courtney “Jay-Mel” Smith. Smith came on board in spring of 2015 to replace Nigel Hall (Lettuce, Warren Haynes Band), and is a close friend of Braimah’s from St. Louis and also a member of their band, Kreative Pandemonium.

“Nigel is an old friend of Nikki and I’s, so it was definitely a bummer when he left but we’re super blessed to bring in Courtney Smith,” explained Edgar, who also performed as

Roosevelt Collier’s backing band at Contour with Glaspie.

“He came in never having toured, never really leaving St. Louis a ton, and had mostly been playing in the local church.

At first, we had to play that Steely Dan set in front of 10,000 people and it’s difficult music and we were under the gun. It’s been a pleasure to see such a young cat grow so quickly. He’s got a vibe, and his contribution to the band is big. Vocally, he’s such a great harmonizer. He’s a choir director back in some really big churches in St. Louis.”

Nth power came together following an impromptu, middle-of-the-night jam at Jazz Fest in 2012. The big picture element that makes this unit so remarkable is their individual backgrounds. Take, for instance, Braimah’s ancestry and influences. Descending from a remarkable 111 generations of percussionists on his Ghana-born father’s side, Braimah’s name literally translates to “little drummer” in the country’s Akan dialect. Besides playing with a litany of the world’s greatest drummers like jazz great Idris Muhammed, his uncle “Pie” has the distinction of having taught the famed Zigaboo Modeliste of The Meters how to play. Yeah, that’s

FRIDAY Freda Felcher (funk, soul; Silver Dollar), 86 (hard rock; Town Square Tavern) SATURDAY 86 (hard rock; Knotty Pine), Freda Felcher (funk, soul; Silver Dollar) Local modern funk and neo-soul outfit Freda Felcher plays at the Silver Dollar Friday and Saturday. heavy.

While The Nth Power had already grown exponentially in popularity without any recordings, 2014’s independently released Abundance bolstered their appeal. The band’s self-defined genre of “Love” is hard to argue as the non-verbal dialogue of the instrumentation really dictates the cohesion.

Much of that glue is held together and nurtured though the bass lines of Edgar, though the sum of this group’s “higher power” is ultimately achieved with a rare chemistry. Edgar is also involved heavily as one of the band’s songwriters.

“Serving the song up and writing a song up in a way that we can touch as many people as possible with what the fuck we’re trying to say within the song, ya know, is really where we are coming from,” Edgar said. “It really has to do with trying to communicate the human experience. And those fans that support the live music are important to the preservation of live bands. I grew up on sampled music. I’m an old hip-hop head, love that early EDM and early dub and all that ‘whanka whanka’ stuff. I’m a fan [of that music] for sure, but the community that loves humans playing the music is really

TUESDAY Nth Power (funk, soul, R&B; Town Square Tavern), Bootleg Flyer (country-soul; Silver Dollar)

Aaron Davis is a decade-long writer of Music Box, a singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, member of Screen Door Porch and Boondocks, founder/host of Songwriter’s Alley, and co-founder of The WYOmericana Caravan.

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| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

JH

important.”

The band’s new video for the R&B slow-burner, “Only Love,” is a colorful animation with a dark, urban feel. The song appeared on the 2014 album. Edgar mentioned that the band does have new material to showcase at the Jackson show, which is a steal at $5. Fresh from a week of Jazz Fest shows in New Orleans, will the band be tired or inspired?

“We’re old road dogs by now, you know what I mean?”

Edgar responded. “We come to deliver … just so excited to play the material and get to know our own music better. We love that town. It’s a special place. Those Tetons, man, I think they enjoy the Nth Power as well.” PJH Nth Power, 10 p.m. Tuesday at Town Square Tavern. $5.

733-3886.

SUNDAY Stagecoach Band (country, Western; Stagecoach Bar)

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

18 | MAY 4, 2016

GET OUT

n Salsa Night 9:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307-733-1500 n Cold Pizza 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, 307-733-3886

n LOCAL LOVE Feast & Fest at Jackson Whole Grocer & Cafe 7:00am, Jackson Whole Grocer, $7.00, 307733-0450 n Leadercast Jackson Hole 2016 8:00am, National Museum of Wildlife Art, $71.68 – $134.98 n Linn Ranch Archaeology Camp 8:00am, Linn Ranch, $120.00, 307-733-2414 n Fitness & Dance Classes 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Portrait Drawing Club 9:00am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $10.00, 307-733-6379 n Strollercize 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $10.00, 307739-9025 n Clay and Sculpture 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $190.00 - $228.00, 307-733-6379 n Free Wine Tasting 4:00pm, The Liquor Store & Wine Loft, Free, 307-733-4466 n ART WALK in Driggs 5:00pm, Downtown, Free n Wilderness First Aid/ Wilderness First Responder Re-certification 5:30pm, CWC-Jackson, $235.00 - $275.00, 307-733-7425 n Friday Night Meditation 6:00pm, Zendler Chiropractic, Free, 307-6998300 n Whiskey Experience 6:00pm, VOM FASS Jackson Hole, Free, 307734-1535 n Pam Drews Phillips Plays Jazz 7:00pm, The Granary at Spring Creek Ranch, Free, 307-733-8833 n Art Opening: The Human Element by Gerson Giron 7:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307-733-1500 n Freda Felcher 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307732-3939 n Laff Staff Improv Comedy 8:00pm, Center for the Arts, $12.00, 307-7334900 n Friday Night DJ Featuring EPS 10:00pm, Pink Garter Theatre, Free, 307-7331500 n 86’d 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, 307-733-3886

SATURDAY MAY. 7

n Kettlebells 8:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307733-5056 n Linn Ranch Archaeology Camp 8:00am, Linn Ranch, $120.00, 307-733-2414 n Jackson Hole Spring Runoff 5K Run/Walk 8:30am, North Park, $10.00 - $25.00, 307-7399025

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 20

BREE BUCKLEY

FRIDAY MAY. 6

Popular Pathways Now is the time to enjoy familiar stretches of trail and appreciate friendly faces.

BY BREE BUCKLEY @bree.buckley

W

e Jacksonites, are completely spoiled by the trail networks that are 15 steps from our front doors, not to mention the magical mountain range that emerges out of flatlands, and the Snake River that flows directly through the center of our cherished little valley. We live here for our easy access to such an outdoor mecca, but when spring skiing conditions leave us feeling tremulous and dirt trails resemble more of an ice luge than a running haven, our outdoor anxiety becomes all-consuming. We retreat, we hide, and we pretend that baking is a newfound passion to replace our need for adrenaline and euphoria.

That is, however, until the first melt reveals minimal remnants of dirt pathways.

A revitalized outdoor spirit fuels the resurgence of runners and bikers as opening trails lure athletes and their furry companions to

The author shifts her perspective from longing looks toward the Tetons to panoramic views from the King; spring is in the air and on the trails. log pavement-free miles. You will see everyone you know (and don’t know) and feel like the most popular girl in the world. But, in fact, we are all squishing our exercise-needy bodies onto the only dry trail in town. Whether or not these are my actual friends zigzagging up and down the Nelson switchbacks, coasting across Putt Putt Trail, and completing their loop on Sidewalk Trail—witnessing our town of shoulder season hermits emerging from their off-season caves reinforces my love for our community. We share a binding eagerness for a change in the season and are plagued with contagious energy.

Phrases often heard during this time include, “I can’t believe you’re already running after your knee surgery,” and “I’ve been needing this vitamin D.” Ample oohs and aahs, akin to the sounds heard on a powder day at the Village, flutter through the air as enthusiasts hustle past each other in a newfound excitement for the spring season.

Trail reports become the new talk of the town, replacing morning coffee shop talk of how Glory is skiing with how far you can climb Snow King until you hit a snowfield.

Excitement grows as more trails emerge through rotting snow. The utter hardship of suffering through hill repeats on High School Butte is replaced with the relief that you can now endure only one uphill climb on Josie’s Ridge.

This is, however, until all the trails

become dry. May is a month that shows that we are birds of a feather, but soon we will disperse again, migrating in whichever direction the winds take us. The neighbor that you excitedly saw looping the Nelson Switchbacks will travel into deeper woods.

The coworker that you caught up with at the top of Josie’s Ridge will disappear into Grand Teton National Park. And the ex that you’ve been wanting to avoid will rally down Teton Pass on their mountain bike.

Before we know it our anxiety to unleash and explore will override our trailside chatter. Squinting in bright summer sun, some of us will reside by a river in the freedom of our sandals; others will drive our fatigued, ambulating bodies into the high peaks week after week; and many will speed their travel road bike down Highway 89 and take in the amalgamation of tectonic plates that are the Tetons.

My advice? Enjoy the May madness of congested trails and appreciate seeing familiar faces around each dry bend. Even if you don’t recognize your fellow trail user, look her in the eyes, and smile. For before we know it, we’ll be in the throes of summer and Jackson will once again morph into a congested destination for the pleasure seeking masses. PJH

WELL, THAT HAPPENED

The Traveling Pants Bounding over the hurdles of expat depression.

BY ANDREW MUNZ @andrewmunz

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capital city of Reykjavík. With its allure of a vibrant culture and social norms, it stands out among the fishing villages and farming settlements scattered around the country.

While there are definitely a handful of wonderful people that I’ve met here and there, I’ve been altogether stripped of having a circle of friends who are not connected to work. I miss being able to have those simple conversations over drinks—the ones that have nothing to do with my work responsibilities. The problem is that when I do offhandedly meet new folks, I don’t have much to talk about other than work.

I won’t lie and say that I didn’t romanticize my move to Iceland. I had certain expectations that were influenced by my travels over the years, things that stuck out as special and unique. I wanted nothing more than to gobble those special things and insert them into my everyday life. What more need I think over?

The reality that has hit me since I’ve been here is that those special things (waterfalls, Icelandic traditions, fjords, etc.) start to become less special the more you’re exposed to them. I imagine there are plenty of Jackson people who can relate to my experience. As much as you hate to admit it, the view of the Tetons start to lose some amount of their “gosh, golly, wow” luster after a while.

It’s been difficult to really enjoy Iceland to the fullest without my own means of transportation. Even if I had a car, I don’t have many days off to drive around and explore.

I’ve found myself in the exact same spot so many of us find ourselves: Working at the expense of living.

Expat depression is something that

happens to so many people around the world. It’s a courageous move to leave your home country and toss yourself into a foreign nation, especially when the language is different. Not being able to speak the language hinders your ability to make friends and understand your surroundings. Even though I’ve been slowly learning Icelandic, there aren’t enough people my age to practice the language with. And without any outlets to cut loose and have a good time, I split my time between working and watching Netflix.

Don’t worry. I’m not standing at the edge of the dock with tears streaming down my face trying to convince myself not to jump into the icy fjord. Although I can imagine how a situation like this can truly cripple someone to the point of doing something drastic. Human interaction is paramount, and for some goddamn reason I chose one of the few places in the world where human interaction is as difficult to come across as a new pair of pants.

Oh, my poor pants. We have a lot in common. It’s so hard for me to admit it because I know how many people are rooting for my success, but the honest truth is that my plan to move to Iceland has plenty of holes. My aspirations have split at the seams and a few segments of my sanity are only held together with some fraying thread. I know there’s a sewing kit out there somewhere that can stitch it all up.

I just need to figure out how long I need to drive to find it. PJH

ULTIMATE TOWNER

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

I

only have one pair of pants left. Of the four I brought to Iceland, three have been grease-stained, hole-ripped, and seamsplit to the point of oblivion. In a normal situation (i.e. living somewhere that isn’t rural Iceland), I would be able to easily head out to the store and make my way back home with a brand-spankin’-new pair of jeans.

That would be the end of it. But when the closest men’s clothing store is a four-hour drive away, I’ve come to truly appreciate my last pair.

Today, I split the seam between my legs while lifting a crate of dessert plates.

I won’t lie and say that expat life has been a breeze. It’s been incredibly challenging, and I’m not just basing that conclusion on my pants dilemma. One of the biggest tribulations I’ve had to face is the hopelessness of making new friends in this tiny town. Not only am I working almost every day of the week, but I’m living in an area that has long since been vacated by single 20-somethings.

Most of these individuals are drawn to the

S hop local, Save big!

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

20 | MAY 4, 2016

CINEMA n Fitness & Dance Classes 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Wilderness First Aid/ Wilderness First Responder Re-certification 9:00am, CWC-Jackson, $235.00 - $275.00, 307-733-7425 n St. John’s Medical Center’s Annual Community Health Fair 9:00am, Teton County/Jackson Parks and Recreation Center, Free, 307-739-7466 n Spring Festival 9:00am, MD Nursery, Free, 208-354-8816 n 22nd Annual Boat Swap 9:00am, Rendezvous River Sports, Free, 307733-2471 n Canvas Bag Giveaway at Jackson Whole Grocer & Cafe 9:30am, Jackson Whole Grocer, Free, 307-7330450 n Adult Oil Painting 10:00am, The Local Galleria, $25.00, 208-2700883 n Collage -Daytime 10:00am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $45.00, 307-733-6379 n Bike Swap at the Hub 10:00am, The Hub Bicycles, Free, 307-733-4534 n Tarot Readings with Amaris 10:00am, Spirit, $150.00, 307-733-3382 n HAPI Trails Derby Day 1:30pm, Wildwood Room, Free n Raptor Encounters 2:00pm, Teton Raptor Center, $10.00 - $12.00, 307-203-2551 n Ashtanga Yoga Workshop with Niki Sue 2:00pm, Teton Yoga Shala, $35.00 - $60.00, 307-690-3054 n Intro into Arm Balancing 4:30pm, Inversion Yoga, $25.00, 307-733-3038 n Whiskey Experience 6:00pm, VOM FASS Jackson Hole, Free, 307734-1535 n Jackson Hole Juggernauts Roller Derby vs.

Bittersweet Bombshells of Rock Springs 7:00pm, Snow King Sports & Event Center, $5.00 - $10.00, 307-690-1982 n Teton Valley Community School Barn Dance 7:00pm, Moose Creek Ranch, $40.00, 307-7343714

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 21

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To Be Continued Captain America: Civil War serves up fun and focuses on perpetuating the MCU brand.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW @scottrenshaw

D

uring one of the occasional lulls between battles royale in Captain America: Civil War, the synthetic humanoid Vision (Paul Bettany), in a conversation with the Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen), contemplates the growing number of nigh-apocalyptic catastrophes during the eight years since Tony Stark announced his super-hero identity in Iron Man. The United Nations has proposed an accord whereby the Avengers would be placed under international rule, rather than playing by their own rules as freelance villain-fighters, and Vision is among those who think this oversight is needed. Perhaps, he suggests, the growing number of “enhanced” individuals is its own invitation to more threats, in a self-perpetuating cycle.

He’s certainly on to something, and in a more meta-aware sense than the philosophical battle at the center of the movie over who watches the watchmen. Because the Marvel Cinematic Universe is, at this point, a self-perpetuating cycle. The movies aren’t just connected to one another, with plots that inform one another; each one exists to make sure the next one can as well.

Which isn’t to say that they haven’t done an impressive job over those eight years of making that process generally satisfying. While the title may suggest this is a Captain America movie—and the directing team of Joe and Anthony Russo returns from 2014’s Captain America: The Winter Soldier—this is, for all practical purposes, Avengers 2.5. With international pressure mounting for that institutional control over the Avengers’ actions after massive collateral damage in their previous battles, various team members respond to the situation differently. Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) leads the faction that, whether for pragmatic or emotional reasons, thinks

Anthony Mackie, Paul Rudd, Jeremy Renner, Chris Evans, Elizabeth Olsen and Sebastian Stan in Captain America: Civil War the Avengers need that governing hand. And Captain America (Chris Evans) leads those who are skeptical that any institution wouldn’t ultimately begin to use the Avengers to serve its own agenda.

A similar moral quandary about the consequences and responsibility for titanic super-battles also fueled the recent Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, and while the action at times stops dead in Civil War to allow characters to articulate that policy debate, it is at least more clearly articulated than in BvS. These characters have been fleshed out over the course of several movies now, with their relationships defined both by shared experiences and unique personalities. The script by Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely never seems to stack the deck against one side or the other in this conflict, building to the point where the potential rift between Cap and Iron Man feels as consequential as any grand slugfest full of exploding thingamajiggers.

Of course, there are grand slugfests full of exploding thingamajiggers, and they’re an interesting mix of old-school action like an extended car chase, and the centerpiece showdown between a dozen team-vs.-team superheroes on a German airport tarmac.

The latter is loads of fun—even if the Russos aren’t nearly as deft at navigating the terrain of multiple theaters of battle as Joss Whedon was in the two Avengers films—particularly at finding new individual showdowns featuring participants like Ant-Man (Paul Rudd), Falcon (Anthony Mackie), Winter Soldier (Sebastian Stan) and Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson).

The biggest impression, however, may be

made by two brand-new characters—and this is exactly where the Marvel Cinematic Universe is both brilliant and frustrating.

The African warrior-king Black Panther (Chadwick Boseman) and the brand-new teenage Spider-Man (Tom Holland) both join the fray for various reasons, pumping up the sense of discovery; Holland in particular lends an appealingly goofy nervous energy to every one of Spidey’s fights with various Avenger opponents. Yet Civil War can’t help but feel at times like a commercial for those characters’ upcoming stand-alone features, with expository pauses required to introduce them. Even more than most of its MCU predecessors, Civil War feels bloated with its sense of serving a larger corporate interest than this particular story.

There’s certainly a level on which it’s silly to gripe that a comic-book movie—based as it is in serialized storytelling—keeps pulling from the previous movies and pointing toward the future ones. As long as they continue to deliver well-crafted characters and a sense of fun, they’ll thrive. It just might never be possible to achieve greatness, at least as long as the central purpose of any given movie is making sure that the cycle remains unbroken. PJH

CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR BBB Chris Evans Robert Downey Jr. Scarlett Johansson Rated PG-13

TRY THESE Iron Man (2008) Robert Downey Jr. Gwyneth Paltrow Rated PG-13

Marvel’s The Avengers (2012) Robert Downey Jr. Tom Hiddleston Rated PG-13

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) Chris Evans Sebastian Stan Rated PG-13

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) Robert Downey Jr. Chris Hemsworth Rated PG-13

n Freda Felcher 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n Rendezvous River Sports Party Film: Our Local Epic 8:00pm, Pink Garter Theatre, $6.00 - $9.00, 307-733-1500 n Laff Staff Improv Comedy 8:00pm, Center for the Arts, $12.00, 307-733-4900 n JHBF Kentucky Derby Spring Fling 8:00pm, Hatch Taqueria and Tequilas, $20.00 n Rock’n’Roll Nightmare 9:00pm, The Knotty Pine, $8.00, 208-787-2866 n DJ Just Kenny 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, 307-733-3886 n Jameson Black Barrel Music Series 10:30pm, The Rose, Free, 307733-1500

SUNDAY MAY. 8

MONDAY MAY. 9

n Fitness & Dance Classes 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Time 10:05am, Teton County Library, Free, 733-2164 ext. 118 n Toddler Time 10:05am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Spin 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-733-5056 n Type 2 Diabetes Support Group 1:00pm, Bison Classroom, St. John’s Medical Center, Free, 307-739-7678

FOR COMPLETE EVENT DETAILS VISIT PJHCALENDAR.COM

PR

Choice Take away a woman’s right to choose and she’s left to take matters into her own hands.

IT’S PRO-CHOICE OR NO-CHOICE. Paid for by the KCR Coalition for Pro-Choice Kristyne Crane Rupert | www.naral.org.

MAY 4, 2016 | 21

n Fitness & Dance Classes 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Kindercreations 9:30am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $85.00 - $102.00, 307-733-6379 n Strollercize 10:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $10.00, 307-733-5056

TUESDAY MAY. 10

n Afterschool Monthly Workshops - All Sessions 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $180.00 $216.00, 307-733-6379 n Animals in Art 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $50.00, 307733-6379 n Semi-Private Painting + Drawing: Grades 3 - 8 3:45pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $20.00 - $24.00, 307-733-6379 n Intro to 3D Modeling & 3D Printing 4:15pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $100.00 $120.00, 307-733-6379 n Type 2 Diabetes Prevention Group in Spanish 5:00pm, Moose-Wapiti Classroom, St. John’s Medical Center, Free, 307-739-7678 n American Heart Association Adult & Child CPR / AED 5:30pm, CWC-Jackson, $65.00, 307-733-7425 n Firearms Safety for Responsible Folks 5:30pm, St. John’s Episcopal Church Hansen Hall, Free, 307733-2603 x 103 n Teton Parkies 5:30pm, Community Room in Jackson Whole Grocer, Free, 307-733-4966 n The Clay Surface: Color & Pattern 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $115.00, 307733-6379 n Language Exchange 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Driggs, Free, 208-3545522 n Analog Photography Basics 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $195.00 $235.00, 307-733-6379 n Playwright’s Collaborative for Adults 6:00pm, Black Box Theater, $300.00, 307-733-3021 n Canine Good Citizen Class 6:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $125.00, 307-733-7425 n Introduction to Digital Photography 6:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $80.00, 307-733-7425 n Jackson Tuesday Cruiseday 7:00pm, Thai Me Up, Free n Bootleg Flyer 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n The Nth Power 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, 307-733-3886

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n Linn Ranch Archaeology Camp 8:00am, Linn Ranch, $120.00, 307-733-2414 n Mother’s Day Brunch 8:00am, Westbank Grill, $65.00, 307-732-5062 n Wilderness First Aid/ Wilderness First Responder Re-certification 9:00am, CWC-Jackson, $235.00 - $275.00, 307-7337425 n Mother’s Day Gardening 11:00am, Jackson Hole Children’s Museum, $8.00, 307733-3996 n Ashtanga Yoga Workshop with Niki Sue 11:30am, Teton Yoga Shala, $35.00 - $60.00, 307-690-3054 n Taize 6:00pm, St. John’s Episcopal Church, Free, 307-733-2603 nStagecoach Band 6:00pm, Stagecoach Bar, Free, 307-733-4407 n I Choose to Dance 10:00pm, Transformative Fitness, $20.00 - $120.00

n Little Hands, Little Feet 11:00am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $85.00 - $102.00, 307-733-6379 n Learn over Lunch: Combating the radicalization of youth 12:00pm, Teton County Library, Free, 307-690-0977 n Maker Monday’s 3:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Victor, Free, 208-7872201 n After School Kidzart Club 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $195.00 $234.00, 307-733-6379 n Handbuilding Plus!

3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $150.00 $180.00, 307-733-6379 n English Riding Lessons 4:00pm, Heritage Arena, $65.00, 307-699-4136 n Professional Practice in the Arts Instructor: Jenny Dowd 5:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $118.00, 307-200-6155 n Screening of Education Documentary “Most Likely To Succeed” 5:30pm, Teton County Library, Free, 307-733-2164 n Printmaking 101 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $225.00 $270.00, 307-733-6379 n Stride Strong, Pedal with Power Workshop: Running 6:00pm, Jackson Hole High School Track, $15.00, 307-7399025 n Hootenanny 6:00pm, Dornan’s, Free, 307733-2415 n Spanish for Fun, Work & Travel 7:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $105.00, 307-733-7425

Please support keeping abortion safe and legal.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

22 | MAY 4, 2016

Champions Fri - Sat Salt Palace Convention Center, 100 S West Temple, Salt Lake City n Innovations 2016 Fri - Sat Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, Salt Lake City, 7:30pm, $95.00 - $115.00, 801-869-6900 n TECH N9NE Fri The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, Salt Lake City, 7:00pm, $34.00

WEEKEND OF MAY. 27 Who’s up for a road trip? There’s plenty to do down south in Salt Lake City next weekend.

Whether your interests lie in music, theater and the arts—or something a bit more downto-earth—here’s what’s going on in the Beehive State. (Visit cityweekly.net/events for complete listings.) So hit the road! But be sure and bring a snack—because, now and then, everybody craves something salty.

WEEKEND OF MAY. 6

n The Count of Monte Cristo Fri, Sat, Sat Pioneer Memorial Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, Salt Lake City, 8:00pm n Peter and the Starcatcher Fri, Sat, Sat, Sat Hale Center Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 7:30pm, $30.00, 801-984-9000 n Stage Kiss Fri, Sat, Sat, Sun Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, Salt Lake City, 8:00pm, $30.00 n The Marriage of Figaro Sat Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 7:30pm, $48.00 - $89.00

WEEKEND OF MAY. 13

n The Count of Monte Cristo Fri, Sat, Sat Pioneer Memorial Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, Salt Lake City, 8:00pm n The Marriage of Figaro Fri - Sun Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 7:30pm, $48.00 - $89.00 n Peter and the Starcatcher Fri, Sat, Sat, Sat Hale Center Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 7:30pm, $30.00, 801-984-9000 n Stage Kiss Fri, Sat, Sat Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, Salt Lake City, 8:00pm, $30.00 n Make it Louder Music Festival Sat Gallivan Center, 239 S Main Street, Salt Lake City, 12:00pm, $30.00 - $50.00, 801-548-7884 n Wayne Pacelle: The Humane Economy Sat Humane Society of Utah, 4242 S. 300 West, Salt Lake City, 2:00pm, Free n Golden Gloves National Tournament of Champions Sun Salt Palace Convention Center, 100 S West Temple, Salt Lake City n Salt Lake’s Urban Flea Market Sun Urban Flea Market in Downtown SLC, 600 South Main Street, Salt Lake City, 9:00am, Free

WEEKEND OF MAY. 20

n The Count of Monte Cristo Fri, Sat, Sat Pioneer Memorial Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, Salt Lake City, 8:00pm n Golden Gloves National Tournament of

n A Call to Place: The First Five Years of the Frontier Fellowship Fri Rio Gallery, 300 S Rio Grande St, Salt Lake City, 8:00am, Free, 801-245-7272 n A Real Rockwell?: Cover Art from the Saturday Evening Post Fri - Sun Salt Lake City Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, Salt Lake City, Free n Abstract Expressions Fri - Sat Evolutionary Healthcare, 461 E. 200 South, Salt Lake City, Free n Brian Snapp: House of My Brother/House of My Sister Fri Art Barn/Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, Salt Lake City, Free n Built To Spill Fri The Urban Lounge, 241 S 500 E, Salt Lake City, 8:00pm, $22.00 n Cara Despain: Seeing the Stone Fri - Sat CUAC, 175 E. 200 South, Salt Lake City, Free n Carlos Mencia Fri, Fri, Sat, Sat, Sun Wiseguys Downtown, 194 S. 400 West, Salt Lake City, 7:00pm, $25.00 n Downy Doxey-Marshall: /kl TH/ Fri Alice Gallery, 617 E South Temple, Salt Lake City, 8:00am, Free, 801-245-7272 n Drips, Splashes & Puddles: Paintings by James Haymond Fri - Sat Anderson Foothill Library, 1135 S. 2100 East, Salt Lake City, Free n FLUID ART Spring 2016 Fri Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S West Temple, Salt Lake City, 6:00pm, $30.00 - $40.00 n The Full Monty Fri, Sat, Sat The Grand Theatre, 1575 S State St, Salt Lake City, 7:30pm, $18.00 - $26.00 n Innovations 2016 Fri, Sat, Sat Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, Salt Lake City, 7:30pm, $95.00 - $115.00, 801-869-6900 n Ivanhoe Knight Fever Fri, Sat, Sat The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 7:30pm, $16.00 n Jena Schmidt: Believe & See Fri - Sat “A” Gallery, 1321 S. 2100 East, Salt Lake City, Free n Jennet Thomas: The Unspeakable Freedom Device Fri - Sat Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S West Temple, Salt Lake City n jesse lives Fri Kamikaze’s, 2408 Adams Avenue, Ogden, 7:00pm n Jim Jacobs: Append Fri Art Barn/Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, Salt Lake City, Free n Joan Zone Fri - Sun Art at the Main, 210 E. 400 South, Salt Lake City, 6:30pm, Free, 801-363-4088 n Laughing Stock Improv Fri - Sat The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main St., Salt Lake City, 10:00pm, $8.00 - $16.00

BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

The Art of Ruinart A visit to France’s first Champagne house.

BY TED SCHEFFLER @critic1

T

here are a number of myths and some monkey business regarding the invention of the French sparkling wine now known as Champagne. The French Benedictine monk Dom Pierre Pérignon (1638-1715) typically gets credited for inventing it, and he did contribute to the production of what would, decades later, come to be known as Champagne. However, during Pérignon’s time, French sparkling wine was red, made from Pinot Noir. Likewise, Pérignon is often credited with the quote “Come quickly, I am drinking the stars!”— which was supposedly his reaction upon first tasting the sparkling wine. In fact, wine historians say that the quote first appeared in a 19th century print ad.

A lesser known Benedictine monk—also

with an important place in Champagne’s history—was Dom Thierry Ruinart (1657-1709), who was a colleague of Dom Pérignon, as well as Louis XIV. Ruinart, too, was infatuated with the vin de mousse (“wine with bubbles”) that the aristocrats of Paris enjoyed.

Again, this was very different wine from what we now know as Champagne, which wouldn’t become the dominant style until the mid-1800s.

Twenty years after Dom Ruinart’s death, in 1729, his nephew, Nicolas Ruinart, founded France’s very first Champagne house: Maison Ruinart. This March—some 287 years following its founding—I had the opportunity to visit Maison Ruinart myself. To say that I left impressed is a vast understatement.

As we strolled the crayeres (caves) 38 meters below the city of Reims with Ruinart’s communications director, Véronique Péle Steinsulz, I came to appreciate the depth of quality that makes Ruinart Champagne so special and unique. For starters, it’s all about Chardonnay. Every cuvée here begins with Chardonnay; it’s the soul of Ruinart wines and the thread that runs through all of them.

The grapes are harvested primarily from the Côte des Blancs and Montagne de Reims terroirs around Reims.

Ruinart’s best-known Champagne is Blanc de Blancs ($75), literally “white from whites,” a non-vintage wine made exclusively from Chardonnay. These wines see no oak; they’re

IMBIBE fermented in temperature-regulated stainless steel tanks and undergo full malolactic fermentation (which converts tart malic acid into a softer-tasting lactic acid). They then age in the bottles stored in the cool, chalk-lined Ruinart caves for up to three years. Ruinart bottles themselves are unique in shape: plump, round-shouldered vessels that are a tribute to historic 18th-century Champagne bottles. Ruinart Blanc de Blancs shouts “Chardonnay!” with its intense fresh fruit aromas and white peach flavors with hints of jasmine. This is truly a graceful and elegant Champagne.

As with their Blanc de Blancs, Chardonnay is at the heart of Ruinart Rosé Champagne ($80), which is blended with Pinot Noir to give the wine its pomegranate-orange coloring.

Tropical fruits burst from the bottle upon uncorking, while fresh red berry flavors dance on the palate in an effervescent tête-à-tête.

This beautiful, festive Rosé Champagne pairs well with mild meats such as prosciutto di Parma, veal and

milk-fed lamb.

The vintage Champagnes from Ruinart are designated by the word “Dom.” The most recent vintage cuvée is Dom Ruinart Blanc de Blancs 2004 ($132). This wine is stunning, made entirely from Grand Cru Chardonnay grapes. It has a strong mineral backbone, silky mouthfeel, floral and baked bread aromas and citrus notes on the tongue. The 2004 vintage is a terrific accompaniment to lobster, crab and light-but-sophisticated seafood dishes.

Finally, for a mind-blowing (and budget-blowing) bottle of bubbly, splurge on Dom Ruinart Brut Rosé Champagne 2002 ($299).

Toasted brioche notes, smoke, pastry cream, strawberries, blood-orange and white peach flavors make this staggering Champagne Rosé more of a meal than a beverage, but it’s a great partner for game birds, too. PJH

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

MAY 4, 2016 | 23

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

24 | MAY 4, 2016

®

Large Specialty Pizza ADD: Wings (8 pc)

Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom and pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves!

ASIAN & CHINESE

$ 13 99

TETON THAI Serving the world’s most exciting cuisine. Teton Thai offers a splendid array of flavors: sweet, hot, sour, salt and bitter. All balanced and blended perfectly, satisfying the most discriminating palate. Open daily. 7432 Granite Loop Road in Teton Village, (307) 733-0022 and in Driggs, (208) 787-8424, tetonthai.com.

for an extra $5.99/each

Medium Pizza (1 topping) Stuffed Cheesy Bread

(307) 733-0330 520 S. Hwy. 89 • Jackson, WY

THAI ME UP Home of Melvin Brewing Co. Freshly remodeled offering modern Thai cuisine in a relaxed setting.

New tap system with 20 craft beers. New $8 wine list and extensive bottled beer menu. Open daily for dinner at 5pm. Downtown at 75 East Pearl Street. View our tap list at thaijh.com/brews.

307-733-0005.

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

20%OFF

CONTINENTAL ALPENHOF

ENTIRE BILL

Serving authentic Swiss cuisine, the Alpenhof features European style breakfast entrées and alpine lunch fare. Dine in the Bistro for a casual meal or join us in the Alpenrose dining room for a relaxed dinner experience. Breakfast 7:30am-10am. Coffee & pastry 10am-11:30am.

Lunch 11:30am-3pm. Aprés 3pm-5:30pm. Dinner 6pm-9pm. For reservations at the Bistro or Alpenrose, call 307-733-3242.

Good between 5:30-6pm • Open nightly at 5:30pm Closed Tuesdays & Wednesdays through the off season.

733-3912 160 N. Millward

Make your reservation online at bluelionrestaurant.com

THE BLUE LION

Use the code “Planet” and get

15% off your order of $20 or more Order online at PizzeriaCaldera.com or via our app for iOS or Android.

Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally FRESH FOOD at reasonable prices, is a always a FUN PLACE to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel RIGHT AT HOME and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit.

Reservations at (307) 733-4913 3295 Village Drive • Teton Village, WY

11am - 9:30pm daily 20 W Broadway 307 - 201 - 1472

www.mangymoose.com

THE LOCALS

FAVORITE PIZZA

OLLOW US ON FACEBOOK FOR THE LATEST PLANET HAPPENINGS!

2012, 2013 & 2014 •••••••••

$7

$4 Well Drink Specials

LUNCH

SPECIAL Slice, salad & soda

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

TV Sports Packages and 7 Screens

Under the Pink Garter Theatre (307) 734-PINK • www.pinkygs.com

A Jackson Hole favorite for 38 years. Join us in the charming atmosphere of a historic home.

Ask a local about our rack of lamb. Serving fresh fish, elk, poultry, steaks, and vegetarian entrées. Live acoustic guitar music most nights.

Early Bird Special: 20% off entire bill between 5:30-6:0pm, Open nightly at 5:30 p.m. Closed Tuesdays and Wednesdays through the off season. Reservations recommended, walkins welcome. 160 N. Millward, (307) 733-3912, bluelionrestaurant.com.

LOCAL Local, a modern American steakhouse and bar, is located on Jackson’s historic town square.

Our menu features both classic and specialty cuts of locally-ranched meats and wild game alongside fresh seafood, shellfish, house-ground burgers, and seasonally-inspired food. We offer an extensive wine list and an abundance of locally-sourced products. Offering a casual and vibrant bar atmosphere with 12 beers on tap as well as a relaxed dining room, Local is the perfect spot to grab a burger for lunch or to have drinks and dinner with friends. Lunch Mon-Sat 11:30am.

Dinner Nightly 5:30pm. 55 North Cache, (307) 201-1717, localjh.com.

LOTUS CAFE Serving organic, freshly-made world cuisine while catering to all eating styles. Endless organic and natural meat, vegetarian, vegan and glutenfree choices. Offering super smoothies, fresh extracted juices, espresso and tea. Full bar and house-infused botanical spirits. Open daily 8am for breakfast lunch and dinner. 145 N. Glenwood St., (307) 734-0882, tetonlotuscafe.com.

MANGY MOOSE Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally fresh food at reasonable prices, is a always a fun place to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel right at home and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit. Teton Village, (307) 733-4913, mangymoose.com.

SNAKE RIVER BREWERY & RESTAURANT

Serving inspired home cooked classics in a historic log cabin. Enjoy brunch daily at 8 a.m., dinner nightly at 5 p.m., and happy hour daily 3-5:30 p.m. featuring $5 glasses of wine, $5 specialty drinks, $3 bottled beer. 135 E. Broadway, (307) 732-1910, genevievejh.com.

America’s most award-winning microbrewery is serving lunch and dinner. Take in the atmosphere while enjoying wood-fired pizzas, pastas, burgers, sandwiches, soups, salads and desserts. $9 lunch menu. Happy hour 4 to 6 p.m., including tasty hot wings. The freshest beer in the valley, right from the source! Free WiFi. Open 11:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. 265 S. Millward. (307) 739-2337, snakeriverbrewing.com.

ELEANOR’S

SWEETWATER

CAFE GENEVIEVE

Enjoy all the perks of fine dining, minus the dress code at Eleanor’s, serving rich, saucy dishes in a warm and friendly setting. Eleanor’s is a primo brunch spot on Sunday afternoons. Its bar alone is an attraction, thanks to reasonably priced drinks and a loyal crowd. Come get a belly-full of our two-time gold medal wings. Open at 11 a.m. daily. 832 W. Broadway, (307) 733-7901.

FULL STEAM SUBS

@

offer Chicago style hot dogs done just the way they do in the windy city. Open daily11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Located just a short block north of the Town Square at 180 N. Center Street, (307) 733-3448.

The deli that’ll rock your belly. Jackson’s newest sub shop serves steamed subs, reubens, gyros, delicious all beef hot dogs, soups and salads. We

Satisfying locals for lunch and dinner for over 36 years with deliciously affordable comfort food.

Extensive local and regional beer list. Lunch 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. features blackened trout salad, elk melt, wild west chili and vegetarian specialties. Dinner 5:30 to 9 p.m. including potato-crusted trout, 16 ounce ribeye, vegan and wild game. Reservations welcome. (307) 7333553. sweetwaterjackson.com.

TRIO Owned and operated by Chefs with a passion for

Breakfast Lunch & Dinner •••••••••

Serving breakfast & lunch Sun-Wed 8am-3pm Serving breakfast, lunch & dinner Thurs-Sat, open at 8am.

145 N. Glenwood • (307) 734-0882 WWW.TETONLOTUSCAFE.COM

FAMILY FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT PIZZAS, PASTAS & MORE FRESH, LOCALLY SOURCED OFFERINGS TAKE OUT AVAILABLE Dining room and bar open nightly at 5:00pm (307) 733-2460 • 2560 Moose Wilson Road • Wilson, WY

A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965

ITALIAN CALICO

Dinner Nightly at 5:30pm

A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965, the Calico continues to be one of the most popular restaurants in the Valley. The Calico offers the right combination of really good food, (much of which is grown in our own gardens in the summer), friendly staff; a reasonably priced menu and a large selection of wine. Our bar scene is eclectic with a welcoming vibe. Open nightly at 5 p.m. 2560 Moose Wilson Rd., (307) 733-2460.

EL ABUELITO Serving authentic Mexican cuisine and appetizers in a unique Mexican atmosphere.

Home of the original Jumbo Margarita.

Featuring a full bar with a large selection of authentic Mexican beers. Lunch served weekdays 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Nightly dinner specials. Open seven days, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.

385 W. Broadway, (307) 733-1207.

PIZZA

ENIN

G MA Y 12T

45 S. Glenwood Available for private events & catering For reservations please call 734-8038

SCOOP UP THESE SAVINGS

1/16TH COLOR AD • FREE PRINT LISTING (50-75 WORDS) • FREE ONLINE LISTING ON PLANETJH.COM • 6 MONTH MINIMUM COMMITMENT • $25 A WEEK CASH OR $40 A WEEK TRADE ON HALF OFF JH

DOMINO’S PIZZA

H.

Hot and delicious delivered to your door.

Hand-tossed, deep dish, crunchy thin, Brooklyn style and artisan pizzas; bread bowl pastas, and oven baked sandwiches; chicken wings, cheesy breads and desserts. Delivery.

520 S. Hwy. 89 in Kmart Plaza, (307) 733-0330.

PINKY G’S

Celebrating 50Years of Fine Dining!

The locals favorite! Voted Best Pizza in Jackson Hole 2012, 2013 and 2014. Seek out this hidden gem under the Pink Garter Theatre for NY pizza by the slice, salads, stromboli’s, calzones and many appetizers to choose from. Try the $7 ‘Triple S’ lunch special.Happy hours 10 p.m. - 12 a.m. Sun.- Thu. Text PINK to 71441 for discounts. Delivery and take-out.

Open daily 11a.m. to 2 a.m. 50 W. Broadway, (307) 734-PINK.

PIZZERIA CALDERA

SALES@PLANETJH.COM OR 307.732.0299

Lunch 11:30am Monday-Saturday Dinner 5:30pm Nightly

HAPPY HOUR Daily 4-6:00pm

307.201.1717 | LOCALJH.COM ON THE TOWN SQUARE

MAY 4, 2016 | 25

Jackson Hole’s only dedicated stone-hearth oven pizzeria, serving Napolitana-style pies using the freshest ingredients in traditional and creative combinations. Five local microbrews on tap, a great selection of red and white wines by the glass and bottle, and one of the best views of the Town Square from our upstairs deck. Daily lunch special includes slice, salad or soup, any two for $8. Happy hour: half off drinks by the glass from 4 - 6 daily. Dine in or carry out. Or order online at PizzeriaCaldera.com, or download our app for iOS or Android. Open from 11am - 9:30pm daily at 20 West Broadway. 307-201-1472.

CONTACT YOUR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE TODAY TO LEARN MORE

Local is a modern American steakhouse and bar located on Jackson’s historic town square.

Serving locally raised beef and, regional game, fresh seafood and seasonally inspired food, Local offers the perfect setting for lunch, drinks or dinner.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

ALPENROSE • ALPENHOF BISTRO 307.733.3242 | TETON VILLAGE

Trio is located just off the town square in downtown Jackson, and is owned & operated by local chefs with a passion for good food.

Our menu features contemporary American dishes inspired by classic bistro cuisine. Daily specials feature wild game, fish and meats.

Enjoy a glass of wine at the bar in front of the wood-burning oven and watch the chefs perform in the open kitchen.

MEXICAN

HOUSEMADE BREAD & DESSERTS

REOP

good food, Trio is located right off the Town square in downtown Jackson. Featuring a variety of cuisines in a relaxed atmosphere, Trio is famous for its wood-oven pizzas, specialty cocktails and waffle fries with bleu cheese fondue. Dinner nightly at 5:30 p.m.

Reservations. (307) 734-8038 or bistrotrio. com.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

26 | MAY 4, 2016

WINDSHIELDS WINDSHIELD REPLACEMENT SPECIALISTS

SUDOKU

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No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

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L.A.TIMES “COMMUNICATION UPDATE” By Pam Amick Klawitter

SUNDAY, MAY 8, 2016

ACROSS

10 Kind of crazy?

50 Supermarket lines 10 Gossiper’s word 15 Yahoo! rival 18 It divides banks in Bern 19 Goes around 21 Bartlett cousin 22 Big foot letters 23 Tiny pair of media hosts?

26 Short order from mom 27 Go along with 28 Extra 29 Sneezer’s need 31 Security for sailors?

36 Yacht staffs 39 Van Gogh inspiration 40 Clean the slate 41 Latin lover’s word 42 Naval NCO 43 Some NCOs 45 Scale starters 49 Online photo exchange for redheads?

55 Like some income 57 G.I. Joe’s outfit 58 Former fillies 59 Crêpe cousin 60 Garden adornment 61 Old Testament’s Queen of __ 63 Tees for Aristotle 64 Pound parts: Abbr.

65 Having returned to the world of public performances?

70 Newfoundland comment?

73 Often saved comics heroine 74 Voicemail cues 75 Cessation of hostilities 79 Opinion pieces 81 Ontario natives 83 Intervene 84 Go by 85 Emeril’s gateway?

88 Dispatch 89 Brass __

90 Place to go in Gloucester 91 “Xanadu” gp.

92 Home of the John Denver Sanctuary 95 Illusionist Criss __ 98 “Cutthroat Kitchen” host Brown 100 “Got a film to share?”?

106 Nothing new 107 Dutch wheels 108 High-quality 112 Sharp-toothed swimmer 113 End of a “Great Reuben!” tweet?

118 Cult following 119 Get ready for an engagement?

120 Waxy compound 121 Writer Rice 122 Road curve 123 Air Force E-5’s 124 Revue routines 125 Trails the pack

DOWN

10 Fill up 20 Shooting marbles 30 __-Z: Camaro model 40 Share on Facebook, e.g.

50 Raccoon relative 60 Start of MGM’s motto 70 Bryce Harper stat 80 Holiday sparklers 90 Office binder 10 Underworld 11 Multi-vol. reference 12 1977 Steely Dan album 13 Political platforms 14 To-do list items 15 Smart bunch 16 K-pop city 17 Staircase component 20 Bombards with junk email 24 Memorable times

25 Cortez’s gold 30 Author Stieg Larsson’s homeland 32 Short rests 33 1982 Disney sci-fi film 34 Pool surface 35 Org. whose roots date to the Civil War 36 Sorcerer 37 Simple-living sect 38 Whale tracker 42 Shout 43 Revolutionary first name 44 Kettle et al.

46 “The Simpsons” bus driver 47 Jeer 48 Divorce consequences 50 Vittles 51 Preserves, in a way 52 “You said it!”

53 Early sunscreen ingredient 54 Made skillfully 55 Horner’s surprise 56 Trattoria order 59 Scroogean cries 61 Enjoys a run, maybe 62 “To each __ own” 63 Half a fly 66 “Get Smart” security device 67 MGM co-founder 68 “As I Lay Dying” father 69 Coven concoction 70 Experts 71 Part of a film 72 Custardlike dessert 76 Election surprise 77 Sky over Seville 78 __ Field, a former name of Minute Maid Park 80 Modernize 81 One side of the

fence 82 Casting aid 83 Sign of success 85 Venom dispenser 86 Cheese couleur 87 Aptly named track star 89 “Big” London attraction 93 Crude homes 94 Mountaineering equipment 95 Many Qatar natives 96 Queens team, briefly 97 Half a kids’ game 98 “Down with,” in Paris 99 Deadly 100 Plead in court 101 Reduces one’s distance from 102 WWI battle site 103 Senses 104 Not even 105 Border range 109 Sicilian attraction 110 “Shucks!”

111 Sits in a cellar, say 114 Short rule?

115 Tuna catcher 116 “Black” shopping time: Abbr.

117 __ water

Spring Cleaning Exploring the role our thoughts play in our lives.

T

his week’s column is not about “dirty” thoughts; it is about the power of our thoughts.

The proven fact is that every thought—positive or negative, spoken aloud or not— creates a chemical response in the body. Positive thoughts upgrade our wellbeing; negative ones cause internal havoc on all levels. So the time is now to become aware of the powerful effects of our thoughts, and to know how to manage our minds so we can create thought patterns that help us thrive.

How many thoughts a day Scientists estimate we have between a whopping 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day. The sobering fact of this research is that 70 to 80 percent of our thoughts every day are negative ones. Negative thoughts about anything or anyone, including ourselves, are toxic.

The toll of negative thoughts One study was conducted on the impact of negative words on the human brain. Subjects were hooked up to instruments tracking the brain to measure what happens when a person hears the word “no.” The result: Just hearing the word “no” temporarily disrupted each person’s brain functioning.

It doesn’t require a giant leap to imagine that a habit of negative self-talk and/or having harsh words repeatedly spoken to us, can pile up and create internal disaster.

Physical effects of negative thoughts include: impaired immune system, less energy, depression and anxiety. From the moment you have a negative thought, some of the damaging effects include: you feel worse and your self-confidence and self-worth are undermined. Over time this can lead to illness and serious disease.

Plus, our negative thoughts cause all this harm even if they are not based on anything objectively true.

The snowball effect As if all this information isn’t daunting enough, our negative thoughts also affect other people. We all know how it feels to be in the presence of a Debbie/Donny Downer.

Now magnify this times billions of people who are thinking 70 to 80 percent negative thoughts each day, and you have a new way to understand how we inadvertently contribute tons of negative energy to the global matrix.

Gratitude increases positive thoughts

Research proves that when you make practicing gratitude a daily habit, the benefits accrue and endure. The mind gets clearer, you will feel happier, more confident, more optimistic and you will be physically healthier.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Only positive thoughts stimulate the biochemistry of wellbeing for body, mind and spirit. This does not imply being a goody two shoes, faking the positives, or being out of touch with reality. Everyone has negative thoughts.

The discipline is to notice them without judging yourself and to quickly let them go by “changing the channel.” Focusing on gratitude is a great “channel changing” tool.

Gratitude shifts negativity and opens the heart. You can evoke gratitude for things large and small, from the sublime to the absurd. By the time you list and allow yourself to genuinely feel five things for which you are grateful, the negativity is gone.

Let’s say you’re being hard on yourself or beating yourself up about something. Go to gratitude.

Feel grateful you noticed a previously automatic negative thought.

Feel grateful you are alive.

Feel grateful the sun is shining.

Feel grateful there are people you love.

Feel grateful you live in Jackson Hole.

Feel grateful you have friends.

Feel grateful you can feel gratitude.

Feel grateful that you are the gatekeeper of your mind.

Added bonuses Looking at life through a half full glass is not just an airy-fairy thought; it is based on science. And, by the Law of Attraction, positive thoughts, beliefs and actions are what bring more of the same into our experience. Bring it on. PJH

MAY 4, 2016 | 27

Carol Mann is a longtime Jackson resident, radio personality, former Grand Targhee Resort owner, author, and clairvoyant.

Got a Cosmic Question? Email carol@yourcosmiccafe.com

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

28 | MAY 4, 2016

NATURAL MEDICINE Veins of Truth Understanding your results from the Health Fair blood draw will help you take control of your health.

BY MONIQUE LAI

E

very spring, St. John’s Hospital runs their annual Heath Fair blood draw, which is a great way to keep track of your health.

These tests evaluate lipids (cholesterol and triglycerides), basic chemistry panel, TSH and Vitamin D. On May 7, you can have your results interpreted with a health care professional at the Health Fair.

Having blood drawn is unpleasant for some, but the benefits of tolerating it are substantial. Your blood work is a key aspect of your health/disease picture and it’s always a learning experience to review your results with your physician. Below, I will cover some alternative treatment options to change your lab results with vitamins herbs, diet and exercise.

Cholesterol Your cholesterol results will be expressed by your HDL and LDL levels. HDL is often called “good cholesterol.” In naturopathic medical school, we learned that if this was too high you may be revved up and stressed out. LDL is “bad” cholesterol and is thought to have a greater impact on coronary artery disease. You can lower your cholesterol by up to 20 percent if you simply stop eating animal products or foods known to be high in cholesterol like liver, red meat, eggs, shrimp, cheese and processed foods with trans fats.

Another excellent way to lower cholesterol is to work on your liver by taking supplements that support detoxification.

For example, herbs like milk thistle and turmeric, or amino acids like cysteine and methionine support detoxing. You should also decrease alcohol and eliminate high fructose corn syrup, which is as detrimental to your liver as alcohol.

Eating a diet full of colored vegetables is great for lowering cholesterol. A good goal is to make vegetables half of your lunch and dinner plate. The more bitter ones are particularly good for your liver. If you shop the Farmers Market in the summer, or buy a farm share from one of the local organic farms, you’ll notice the greens have far more of the good bitter flavor that makes your liver happy.

If your HDL/LDL levels are high, or you have a family history of heart disease, you should consider a more comprehensive test for cholesterol, such as the VAP.

The supplement Red Yeast Rice has a similar mechanism of action as a statin and can lower cholesterol; both should always be taken with coenzyme Q10.

Triglycerides If you are eating too much sugar and too little fiber, you will likely see elevated triglyceride levels. There are two types of fiber: soluble and insoluble. Sources of soluble fiber are psyllium husk (like Metamucil), flax seeds, apple pectin and oat bran. Insoluble fiber is found in vegetables, beans and whole grains. Both fibers are needed for health, but soluble fiber is the one most people don’t get in adequate quantity.

Start by eating an organic apple every day or sprinkling flax seeds on your cereal.

Glucose If your glucose is high, you may want to follow up with a hemoglobin A1c test. The glucose is just a snapshot and will be higher if you didn’t fast before your blood test. The HbA1c provides a three-month value which can indicate a blood sugar/diabetic problem. For a diabetic, eating foods with a low glycemic index is essential but changing your response to sugar is treating the cause. This can be done by changing our cell membranes through the consumption of more omega 3 oils in fish and flax seeds, and less saturated fats found in meats. Taking a fish oil supplement is a sure way to get enough.

AST and ALT Increases in these levels indicate your liver cells are dying, possibly due to hepatitis, or more often, toxic exposure. In my practice, alcohol and environmental toxins are common causes. Medications, exposure to Roundup, or oil paint have been some of the causes of the increase. High AST/ALT levels require removal of the toxin, and starting a program of treating your liver naturally. You should also take the additional

step and quit alcohol.

TSH

If you are above the reference range you are probably feeling tired. Most people feel best if their TSH is lower than 2. In my practice, thyroid and adrenal conditions are the most common causes of fatigue. To encourage your thyroid to have optimal function, your treatment program needs to give it the substrates necessary for normal function: tyrosine, B6 and iodine found in food and supplements. Yoga will also help your thyroid—the shoulder stand and fish pose will increase blood flow to the gland. If your TSH is above the reference range, tests like the Free T3, Free T4, thyroglobulin antibody, thyroid peroxidase antibody, and reverse T3 can all be good next steps.

Vitamin D

The levels for a healthy adult should be ≥50 nmol/L (≥20 ng/mL). If it is lower, the easiest way to raise your Vitamin D is to take a supplement. I usually recommend 2,000 mg/day.

The most natural way is to sit in the sun. You can make 40,000 mg in an hour... just don’t burn yourself.

Spring is a great time to check in with your body. The Heath Fair blood draw is the perfect way to plan your goals for a healthier new life of exercise and a better diet. PJH

A 16-year Jackson resident, Monique Lai, ND, is an alternative health expert with a family practice where she works with patients to restore their health. She obtained her doctorate in naturopathic medicine from Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine in 1996. Monique enjoys working with a variety of health challenges, particularly autoimmune disease, thyroid disease, digestive disorders, menopause and diabetes. For more info, visit drmoniquelai.com.

WELLNESS COMMUNITY

These businesses provide health or wellness services for the Jackson Hole community and its visitors.

Deep Tissue Sports Massage Thai Massage Myofascial Release Cupping

Oliver Tripp, NCTM Massage Therapist Nationally Certified

253-381-2838

180 N Center St, Unit 8 Jackson, WY 83001

Trust The Expert Mark Menolascino

MD, MS, ABIHM, ABAARM, IFMCP

732-1039

MenoClinic.com | Wilson, WY

No physician referral required.

(307) 733-5577•1090 S Hwy 89

www.fourpinespt.com

Offering integrated health and wellness services for a healthy body, happy mind, & balanced spirit

May Massage Special!

90 minute therapeutic massage for $120 120 W PEARL AVENUE • MWWJH.COM • 307.699.7480

TO ADVERTISE IN THE WELLNESS DIRECTORY, CONTACT JEN AT PLANET JACKSON HOLE AT 307-732-0299 OR SALES@PLANETJH.COM

MAY 4, 2016 | 29

Anti-Aging from the Inside-Out Regain Your Energy Balance Your Mood & Hormones Fix Your Low Thyroid Find Your Food Sensitivities Fix Your Leaky Gut Lose the Fat Have Great Sleep Naturally Try Hyperbarics for Oxygen

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Professional and Individualized Treatments • Sports/Ortho Rehab • Neck and Back Rehab • Rehabilitative Pilates • Incontinence Training • Pelvic Pain Rehab • Lymphedema Treatments Norene Christensen PT, DSc, OCS, CLT Rebekah Donley PT, DPT, CPI Mark Schultheis PT, CSCS Kim Armington PTA, CPI

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

30 | MAY 4, 2016

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19) “Silence is not silence, but a limit of hearing,” writes Jane Hirshfield in her poem “Everything Has Two Endings.”

This observation is apropos for you right now. There are potentially important messages you’re not registering and catalytic influences you can’t detect. But their apparent absence is due to a blank spot in your awareness, or maybe a willful ignorance left over from the old days. Now here’s the good news: You are primed to expand your listening field. You have an enhanced ability to open certain doors of perception that have been closed. If you capitalize on this opportunity, silence will give way to revelation.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Your ability to accomplish magic is at a peak, and will continue to soar for at least two more weeks. And when I use that word “magic,” I’m not referring to the hocus-pocus performed by illusionists like Criss Angel or Harry Houdini. I’m talking about real feats of transformation that will generate practical benefits in your day-to-day life.

Now study the following definitions by writer Somerset Maugham, and have faith in your ability to embody them: “Magic is no more than the art of employing consciously invisible means to produce visible effects. Will, love, and imagination are magic powers that everyone possesses; and whoever knows how to develop them to their fullest extent is a magician.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) According to author Vladimir Nabokov, the Russian word toska means “a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness.”

Linguist Anna Wierzbicka says it conveys an emotion that blends melancholy, boredom, and yearning. Journalist Nick Ashdown suggests that for someone experiencing toska, the thing that’s yearned for may be “intangible and impossible to actually obtain.” How are doing with your own toska, Gemini? Is it conceivable that you could escape it—maybe even heal it? I think you can. I think you will.

Before you do, though, I hope you’ll take time to explore it further. Toska has more to teach you about the previously hidden meaning of your life.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) “Gandhi’s autobiography is on my pillow,” writes Cancerian poet Buddy Wakefield. “I put it there every morning after making my bed so I’ll remember to read it before falling asleep. I’ve been reading it for 6 years. I’m on Chapter 2.”

What’s the equivalent phenomenon in your world, my fellow Crab? What good deed or righteous activity have you been pursuing with glacial diligence? Is there a healthy change you’ve been thinking about forever, but not making much progress on? The mood and the sway of the coming days will bring you a good chance to expedite the process. In Wakefield’s case, he could get up to Chapter 17.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) In the 16th century, European explorers searched South America in quest of a mythical city of gold known as El Dorado. Tibetan Buddhist tradition speaks of Shambhala, a magical holy kingdom where only enlightened beings live. In the legends of ancient Greece, Hyperborea was a sunny paradise where the average human life span was a thousand years and happiness was normal. Now is an excellent time for you to fantasize about your own version of utopia, Leo. Why? First, your imagination is primed to expand. Second, dreaming big will be good for your mental and physical health. There’s another reason, too: By envisioning the most beautiful world possible, you will mobilize your idealism and boost your ability to create the best life for yourself in the coming months.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) “Anytime you’re going to grow, you’re going to lose something,” said psychologist James Hillman. “You’re losing what you’re hanging onto to keep safe. You’re losing habits that you’re comfortable with, you’re losing familiarity.” I nominate these thoughts to serve as your words of wisdom in the coming weeks, Virgo. From an astrological

perspective, you are in a phase when luxuriant growth is possible. To harvest the fullness of the lush opportunities, you should be willing to shed outworn stuff that might interfere.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) On Cracked.com, Auntie Meme tells us that many commonly-held ideas about history are wrong. There were no such things as chastity belts in the Middle Ages, for example. Napoleon’s soldiers didn’t shoot off the nose of the Sphinx when they were stationed in Egypt. In regards to starving peasants, Marie Antoinette never derisively said, “Let them eat cake.” And no Christians ever became meals for lions in ancient Rome’s Colosseum. (More: tinyurl.com/ historicaljive.) In the spirit of Auntie Meme’s exposé, and in alignment with the astrological omens, I invite you to uncover and correct at least three fabrications, fables, and lies about your own past.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Poet Charles Wright marvels at the hummingbird, “who has to eat sixty times his own weight a day just to stay alive. Now that’s a life on the edge.” In the coming weeks, Scorpio, your modus operandi may have resemblances to the hummingbird’s approach. I don’t mean to suggest that you will be in a manic survival mode. Rather, I expect you’ll feel called to nourish your soul with more intensity than usual. You’ll need to continuously fill yourself up with experiences that inspire, teach, and transform you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “Anybody can become angry,” said Greek philosopher Aristotle. “That is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” I’m pleased to inform you, Sagittarius, that now is a time when you have an exceptional capacity for meeting Aristotle’s high standards. In fact, I encourage you to honor and learn all you can from your finely-honed and well-expressed anger.

Make it work wonders for you. Use it so constructively that no one can complain.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) To celebrate your arrival at the height of your sex appeal, I’m resurrecting the old-fashioned word “vavoom.” Feel free to use it as your nickname. Pepper it into your conversations in place of terms like “awesome,” “wow,” or “yikes.”

Use a felt-tip marker to make a temporary VAVOOM tattoo on your beautiful body. Here are other enchanted words you should take charge of and make an intimate part of your daily presentation: verve, vim, vivid, vitality, vigor, voracious, vivacious, visceral, valor, victory, and VIVA! AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) When he was a boy, Mayan poet Humberto Ak’abal asked his mother, “What are those things that shine in the sky?”

“Bees,” she answered mischievously. “Every night since then,” Humberto writes, “my eyes eat honey.” In response to this lyrical play, the logical part of our brains might rise up and say, “What a load of nonsense!” But I will ask you to set aside the logical part of your brain for now, Aquarius.

According to my understanding of the astrological omens, the coming days will be a time when you need a big dose of sweet fantasies, dreamy stories, and maybe even beautiful nonsense. What are your equivalents of seeing bees making honey in the night sky’s pinpoints of light?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) “Sometimes, a seemingly insignificant detail reveals a whole world,” says artist Pierre Cordier. “Like the messages hidden by spies in the dot of an i.” These are precisely the minutiae that you should be extra alert for in the coming days, Pisces. Major revelations may emerge from what at first seems trivial. Generous insights could ignite in response to small acts of beauty and subtle shifts of tone.

Do you want glimpses of the big picture and the longrange future? Then be reverent toward the fine points and modest specifics.

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

REDNECK PERSPECTIVE SATIRE

Truck-ed Sparks Controversy

BY CLYDE THORNHILL

U

proar over Teton County School District’s decision to invite and then uninvite an abstinence presenter to its classrooms has parents demanding more oversight of auto shop curriculum. Speaker Shelly Donahue originally was to give her abstinence-centric presentation suggesting students wait until graduation before going in debt to buy a pickup truck.

The choice to invite Donahue flies in the face of recent speaker topics, including a lecture by local Chevy dealer David Auge who presented a discourse entitled: “The third generation Silverado 1500 with 6.2 L EcoTec3; why it leads to moral supremacy, economic freedom and world peace.”

When parents were notified of the Donahue presentation many responded with concern and indignation. Hog Islanders in particular were outraged, claiming Donahue’s approach to abstinence-only truck education is not science-based. They demanded an explanation as to why officials would allow her to speak in the district’s classrooms.

“I dropped out of high school when I turned 16 to work and finance my first 3/4 ton truck,” explained one Hog Islander.

“I have had truck payments ever since. It is a Wyoming

tradition.”

“These are our children,” another Hog islander complained. “What’s the school going to do next? Invite a Prius dealer to talk or suggest our children buy a Hyundai Accent?”

The concerns of those parents and others who agree caused the school district to cancel Donahue’s classroom presentations.

Concerned parents specifically mentioned an exercise in which Donahue sticks a piece of tape to young men over and over until the adhesive has worn off to make a point about trucks. She uses the demonstration to show what she calls a scientific principle that choosing to be truckually active while still young makes it difficult for a young man to bond with a compact or sedan due to brain chemistry. He will therefore face a lifetime of truck payments.

The American 4 Wheel Drive Council’s review of Donahue’s program’s curriculum found that it “uses fear- and shame-based tactics to promote a particular transportation model” and, “includes little horse power or toque information” and “contains messages promoting biased views of ¾ and one ton duallys with club cabs.”

Wyoming law does not require that students receive any truck-ed as part of their shop curriculum and sets forth few standards for districts teaching it.

Teton County’s normal high school curriculum is based on a program called “Making Proud Choices,” which is included in a list of programs the U.S. Department of Transportation has found evidence to support.

“Making Proud Choices” focuses on a range of topics with emphasis on preventing friends from driving Dodges and

Yugos, highlighting healthy horsepower dynamics and turbo charging, and the relational aspects of powerstroke inline five cylinder motors.

School board member Kate Mead defended the Donahue invitation. “The first amendment allows differences in approach to auto buying,” she said exasperated. “Do we want our children to learn how to think for themselves or do we want to control their thoughts?”

“What the hell does she know?” raged one Hoback Juctioner. “She drives a Ford.” PJH

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

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| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |