Planet JH 7.06.16

JACKSON HOLE’S ALTERNATIVE VOICE | PLANETJH.COM | JULY 6-12, 2016

RIVER OF NO RETURN A trip down Idaho’s wild and protected rivers shows the wisdom in saving something.

BY COLBY FRAZIER

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

2 | JULY 6, 2016

HEY DUDE, WATCH YOUR TUBE

Attention Floaters

•

Per Town of Jackson municipal code:

No trespassing on private lands.

Open alcohol containers are strictly prohibited on Flat Creek.

Dogs are prohibited in public parks.

No dogs at large.

Public urination is prohibited.

•

Please respect private property at all times. Utilize designated public access locations when accessing Flat Creek.

• Be considerate of neighbors and environment by limiting noise and disturbance to riparian habitat.

• Respect wildlife.

• Glass containers are prohibited. Please dispose of garbage in designated receptacles.

• Float at your own risk – no safety personnel present. Dangerous and swift flowing cold water, low clearance bridges and shallow water occur in some locations.

Respect our community!

For additional information and maps of public access points the Town of Jackson or the Parks and Recreation Department: www.townofjackson.com or www.tetonparksandrec.org

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JACKSON HOLE'S ALTERNATIVE VOICE

VOLUME 14 | ISSUE 26 | JULY 6-12, 2016

10 COVER STORY RIVER OF NO RETURN A trip down Idaho’s wild and protected rivers shows the wisdom in saving something.

Cover photo by Colby Frazier.

4 THE BUZZ

18 KULTURE KLASH

6 THE BUZZ 2

20 GET OUT

14 WELL, THAT...

22 CREATIVE PEAKS

16 MUSIC BOX

30 SATIRE

THE PLANET TEAM PUBLISHER

Copperfield Publishing, John Saltas EDITOR

Robyn Vincent / editor@planetjh.com

ART DIRECTOR

STAFF REPORTERS

Cait Lee / art@planetjh.com

Meg Daly, Jake Nichols

SALES DIRECTOR

COPY EDITOR

Jen Tillotson / jen@planetjh.com SALES EXTRAORDINAIRE

Caroline LaRosa / caroline@planetjh.com

Aaron Davis, Colby Frazier, Carol Mann, Andrew Munz, Ted Scheffler, Chuck Shepherd, Tom Tomorrow, Jim Woodmencey

Jake Nichols CONTRIBUTORS

Mike Bressler, Rob Brezsny, Liliana Campos,

MEMBER: National Newspaper Association, Alternative Weekly Network, Association of Alternative Newsmedia

567 W. BROADWAY | P.O. BOX 3249 | JACKSON, WYOMING 83001 | 307-732-0299 | WWW.PLANETJH.COM

July 6, 2016

By Meteorologist Jim Woodmencey

T

he average precipitation in the month of July in Jackson is less than one inch, making it the driest of the summer months. The wettest July we have ever had in Jackson was in 1993, with 3.26 inches of precipitation for the month. Almost half of that precipitation, 1.50 inches, fell between July 3rd and July 6th. There was even a little snow in town on the morning of July 4th.

That July went on to become not only the wettest July ever, but also the coldest July ever in Jackson.

SPONSORED BY GRAND TETON FLOOR & WINDOW COVERINGS

Average low temperatures this week are right around 40-degrees. Lows in the 30’s are not uncommon, however, the coldest temperature we have ever been able to achieve during this week is 27-degrees. That has actually occurred on several occasions: in 1943, 1988, 1992, and in 2008. Each of those years has tied that record low, but no year has ever dipped lower than that during this week.

While we enjoyed temperatures up around 80-degrees in the valley this Fourth of July Weekend, the high temperature in Jackson on July 4th, 1993 was only 52-degrees. That would seem quite cold, especially when you put that 52-degrees up against the alltime record high temperature this week of 94-degrees, which occurred on both July 6th and 7th in 2001. It looks like our high temperatures will stay near normal this week, not too hot, and not too cold.

NORMAL HIGH NORMAL LOW RECORD HIGH IN 2007 RECORD LOW IN 1947

81 40 94 27

THIS MONTH AVERAGE PRECIPITATION: 0.94 inches RECORD PRECIPITATION: 3.3 inches (1993) AVERAGE SNOWFALL: 0 inches RECORD SNOWFALL: 0 inches

Carpet - Tile - Hardwood - Laminate Blinds - Shades - Drapery Mon - Fri 10am - 6pm Open Tuesdays until 8pm 1705 High School Rd Suite 120 Jackson, WY 307-200-4195 www.tetonfloors.com | www.tetonblinds.com

JULY 6, 2016 | 3

Jim has been forecasting the weather here for more than 20 years. You can find more Jackson Hole Weather information at www.mountainweather.com

WHAT’S COOL WHAT’S HOT

THIS WEEK

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

JH ALMANAC

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

4 | JULY 6, 2016

THE BUZZ Luxury Levy How a tax on second homeowners would help the housing crisis.

BY JAKE NICHOLS

W

ith a sales tax hike looming in the near future in order to establish a funding source for affordable housing and transportation, some elected officials are still murmuring about an alternate tax—one that in previous decades has been a nonstarter every time it’s been mentioned. But the day may be dawning when it’s OK to start talking about a real estate transfer tax as a levy that better targets Jackson Hole’s “1 percent.”

Commissioner Paul Vogelheim floated the idea at the housing summit back in May 2015 and has been bringing it up intermittently ever since. He thinks a real estate transfer tax, or RETT, may be a good local option for authorities looking for ways to tackle housing issues. A recently established Community Priorities Fund currently sits empty with a zero balance—its financial future solely dependent on a general sales tax increase that current polling shows is about a 50-50 gamble at the polls this November when voters decide its fate.

“As a Republican who is supposed to be against taxes, I look at this an alternative, especially in light of the pending effort to increase sales tax that is brewing,” Vogelheim said. “It’s done effectively in many other states where it is crafted in such a way that it better targets second homeowners and keeps locals exempt from a property tax increase. Second homeowners here are not paying much in sales taxes and other fees, but they expect a full boat of services.”

Changing culture in Cheyenne Taxing the rich to pay for the poor has never been an easy sell in Wyoming. In fact, it’s against the law in the Equality State. But a tariff on real estate transactions in Teton County makes good sense to some in light of falling state revenues and a local real estate market that appears impervious to outside economic influences, or at least resilient in its recovery from dips. If crafted to apply to only mega deals that mostly involve second homeowners, or those acquiring real estate simply as a portfolio asset and not somewhere to call home, the levy could ding those primarily responsible for the valley’s lack of housing options.

So who could be against taxing fat cats for the 43 percent of chic chateaus and McMansions that sit empty for most of the year?

“Real estate agents hate it,” said former House rep Keith Gingery, “and the only ‘anti’ is the rest of the state.”

To become an arrow in the county’s quiver state statute would have to be changed, and it’s been virtually impossible to find even a sympathetic ear in Cheyenne for the past few decades when a form of RETT has been attempted. Bills have been repeatedly defeated in legislation, including a 2005 bill that died in committee, and another more recent attempt that actually passed the House but was stalled in the Senate.

Rep. Andy Schwartz-D says he’s talked to the chair of the House Revenue Committee about a bill next session.

“It’s another form of revenue at a time when the state really needs to explore a whole spectrum of revenue streams,” Schwartz said. “I’m not so sure I would sponsor it. Committee bills historically have a much higher chance of passing. It would be foolhardy not to consider it. But I’m a little dubious about its potential to pass. The real estate lobby is pretty strong.”

Locally, few realtors have had an appetite for RETT discussions. The Teton Board of Realtors has actively fought the tax over the years. Local agent Brett McPeak led an unsuccessful effort to ban such a luxury tax on property sales in 2010.

Whenever a “mansion tax” comes up at the state capitol, it’s

the Wyoming Association of Realtors (WAR) that slams the door. But David Hardie, a longtime commercial realtor in Jackson Hole and co-chair of the Conservation Alliance, has been working behind the scenes to pave the way for another attempt at changing state statute to allow for some counties and municipalities to use a RETT. “I have been working on this for six months, trying to come up with clear and coherent reasoning to diffuse the argument before it gets started,” Hardie said. Locals aren’t so bad, some are opposed; Wyoming Association of Realtors definitely is. If I can switch them from opposed to at least neutral then I think the timing is right because we are being hurt by a significant decrease in revenues in a cyclical bust phase of oil, gas and coal, and Cheyenne has not planned ahead.”

Hardie says the obstacles are many, including a negative view of any tax in the fiscally conservative state run mainly by Republicans. And then there is the powerful lobbyist, WAR. “All their points can be met,” Hardie said, assuredly. “They call it a discriminatory tax targeted at one type of property owner. Yes, well, isn’t that the whole point of it? These highend property owners say they move around frequently and therefore don’t use local services. They say a tax like this is an unfair levy that would suffocate the market and reduce the likelihood of new homeowners buying a home because they can’t afford to pay it.”

Hardie points to other states where a RETT of some form is used. Only 13 states do not have a tax on property sales— they include states like Alaska, Idaho, Oregon, Texas, Utah, Montana, and Wyoming.

Proponents of a RETT often use Vail, Colo., as an example of a resort town similar to Jackson where the jet set was squeezing out the proletariat for housing. Lavish resorts like Vail and Aspen now have a RETT in place, using the revenue to preserve open space and build affordable housing. Town administrator Bob McLaurin was serving as Vail’s manager when voters rejected a RETT 101-69 in 1978. But the town council instituted it anyway the following year behind an effort led by mayor Rod Slifer.

Hardie said the institution of the tax did not slow down the real estate market one bit. Slifer, who heads the largest real estate company in the state of Colorado, admitted the same, saying the tax impacted the industry for “about 30 seconds.”

“If you are spending 5 million on a house, 50 thousand is not going to make or break that transaction. And these are the people who tend to put more of a burden on the community with landscaping crews, caretakers, housekeepers and certain social services.”

Councilman Jim Stanford is the only other local elected who’s given the idea of a RETT serious thought. He thinks the argument that luxury homebuyers would be hurt by a tax on property transfers doesn’t hold water.

“You look in the paper and there are ads for two different private jet companies, for instance. Some people are just burning money in the high-end real estate market here. That argument doesn’t hold any muster,” Stanford said.

How it would work A law pertaining only to Teton County would never fly in Cheyenne. But by building in thresholds and trigger points, statute could be created that would apply to only counties like Teton and a few others where the real estate industry is a significant driver. Previous incarnations of a bill have set the bar at one million dollars, where any home sold over that amount would be subject to a one percent tax on the transaction. Total home sales in a county could also be a trigger point where a RETT would kick in. Teton County did $808 million in total sales in 2014. Last year the overall dollar amount was $1.095 billion.

Schwartz says, while that’s a lot of money to leave sitting on the table, it can get carved up to a degree that it no longer looks attractive to the state as a revenue source.

“How do you make the state think it’s worthwhile? You have to give them a cut. That would make it much easier to pass,”

Schwartz said. “You look at it and figure how much revenue will it generate? If sales in Teton County are one billion a year, and the tax is one percent for deals over one, or one and a half million, and the state gets, say, 15 percent of that—all of the sudden the amount of revenue may be attractive for individual counties, but for the state it’s chump change.”

Vogelheim thinks the timing is right, though, and state leaders might be open to a RETT if it’s crafted to apply to counties that could best utilize it, and it impacts only those who can most afford it. “Timing is everything at the state level. Look at when we tried the lodging tax,” he said. “And it would have to be crafted in such a way to exempt large ranches, for example.”

Schwartz agreed, “Yes, it’s bad enough having the real estate industry fighting you, you don’t want the ag industry in this state against you,” he said. “Compared to a state income tax, increasing property taxes, or removing the sales tax exemption on food, I think there is some enthusiasm here as I’ve been talking to people this summer.”

Hardie says it’s a better option than talking about an income tax or a real estate tax “where you are clobbering the people that are already here. Who you should really be looking to as a source is the transactions and people that are creating the additional demand as newcomers as opposed to people that have been in their home for 30 years and are paying higher and higher taxes.”

Another roadblock

Maybe the biggest obstacle a change to state law would face is the fact that Teton County is viewed by the rest of the state as a prosperous county that hardly needs a handout when it comes to revenue. The county and town subsist mainly on taxing at the cash register.

“Our primary revenue source is sales tax. But that’s sort of like the state putting all their eggs in the energy extraction industry,” Gingery pointed out. Property taxes are kept to a minimum in the county and non-existent in town. “Property taxes are divvied into mills. The county does not use all of their maximum 12 mills, only 9. The town has up to 8 mills and it currently levies none.”

So if Jackson Hole isn’t willing to tax themselves to the fullest extent, they shouldn’t be crawling to Cheyenne with a plan for a new tax, is what many state leaders think.

“You look around the state and there is no county that does all of their mills and all of their sales tax,” Schwartz said. “In Teton County, we’ve been a six-cent [sales tax] county, and I can’t think of another county that’s been there that long. We could go to seven. Between sales tax and property tax, there is not a county in the state that is maximizing their revenue streams.”

But Hardie claims the issue is more about wresting control from the state and putting more power into the hands of local government.

“The irony in Cheyenne is all these politicians down there like to say they reject as much involvement from the federal government as possible—opposing affordable health care for example,” Hardie said. “But in a situation like this they are refusing to allow a local entity to decide for itself whether to implement a tax or not. It could be a classic example of devolving authority to local authorities, and for Cheyenne to deny that is total hypocrisy.”

The Wyoming Association of Municipalities’ legislative committee, which generally supports giving cities and towns more revenue-raising options, may consider a bill in the upcoming 2017 Legislative Session.

“I hope the legislature will give it another look. We’ve lost out on the revenue over the last 10 to 20 years. It makes sense for our county and certainly for other counties, and it makes up for cuts in state funding,” Stanford said. “I wish Paul [Vogelheim] the best as he tries to sway many of his Republican colleagues to consider this. I don’t know that my advocacy will necessarily help but I’m happy to help when the time comes.” PJH

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

JULY 6, 2016 | 5

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

6 | JULY 6, 2016

THE BUZZ 2 Summer Hunger Free breakfast and lunch program feeds local kids in need and highlights issues of food insecurity.

BY MEG DALY

JAKE NICHOLS

S

ummertime is when kids get to play outdoors, attend camps, and ride bikes and skateboards. But it’s hard to do any of that if you’re hungry.

The playground for the rich has a dirty secret right under its glossy surface. A study by the Economic Policy Institute recently found Jackson Hole to be the most economically unequal metro area in America. With that dubious honor come issues like hunger. And homelessness.

Wes Clarke, director of food services for Teton County School District, thinks most affluent people in Jackson simply are not aware of how many kids go hungry every day here. He estimates that a quarter of all kids in the county utilize the free and reduced meal programs offered by the school district. (The Planet reported extensively on hunger in the valley in its February 16 cover story, “Hushed Hunger.”)

“What do those same kids do in summer?” Clarke asked.

“We know their school lunch is their main meal.”

Clarke signed up for the Summer Food Service Program funded by the USDA so he could make sure kids still had access to the meals they need. The program is free and available to any kid up to the age of 18.

You don’t have to do anything to qualify. Just show up at the Jackson Hole Middle School, Monday through Thursday at 8 to 9 a.m. for breakfast, and 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. for lunch.

Adults can eat a meal for $4.

For Jessica Paine, the program is a huge help. She lives near Snow King and takes care of several children during the week, including her 9-year-old daughter Nevaeh, two nephews, a niece, and four neighbor kids.

“It’s really hard to feed them all,” Paine told The Planet at a recent free breakfast. “We don’t have government assistance.

We are just trying to help.”

Clarke said the free breakfast and lunch program ensures that kids are given the nutrition they need. He and colleague

Nevaeh Paine and Braxton Blair are among some of the valley kids enjoying free meals at Jackson Hole Middle School this summer.

Sharon Lennon make sure each meal comes with milk, fruit or vegetable, and grain and protein at lunch. Some kids ride their bikes from home. Others attend with a parent.

“Once one mom comes, then they start bringing neighborhood kids in because they know the other kids aren’t getting fed,” Clarke said.

“There are lots of options,” Paine said. “Especially at lunch. And the meals are healthy.”

“They are awesome!” Nevaeh chimed in, finishing her plate of whole grain pancakes and kiwi.

The problem is not always a lack of food at home.

Sometimes both parents are working multiples jobs and don’t have time to cook. This is one of the hidden ways kids are affected when parents are struggling to make ends meet in Jackson.

A 17-year-old girl named Leslie spoke to this issue of absent parents due to economic pressures at a June 6 Jackson Town Council meeting. Leslie, who didn’t give her last name, told councilors she lives alone with her mother in an apartment at the Timbers. Rents recently went up and now her mother works three jobs in order to pay all the bills.

“She has no time for me,” Leslie said through tears. “And I feel so alone because I don’t have anyone to talk to.”

These are precisely the kinds of situations Clarke hopes to help, at least practically. Though Leslie might be able to cook

for herself, she is young enough to still qualify for the free meal program, which might curb her feelings of isolation.

Clarke has received feedback from parents who aren’t able to be there for their kids.

“I got a great phone call from a lady in Pocatello,” Clarke said. “Her son lives here in Jackson with her former husband.

Dad doesn’t have the chance to make meals, and the mom was not sure what dad has for their son. She was grateful this program exists.”

Despite the enthusiasm from the people who do take advantage of the free meals, Clarke said there aren’t enough yet. In order for the program to be sustainable, he needs more kids to come in and chow down.

“When you have kids who come in hungry and receive food, they relax and you see a joy,” Clarke said. “It warms you up. It makes you feel good inside that you were able to do something like this.”

Paine has been encouraging neighbors to take advantage.

She said she wasn’t sure what to expect at first.

“I tell people it really is free, you don’t need an ID, and there’s no school requirement,” she said. “Anybody can come, not just full time residents.”

The free meal program runs through August 11. Starting this week, Clarke will distribute meals at Teton County Library as well. For more information, call 732-3757. PJH

AUGUST 16, 2016 PRIMARY ELECTION ABSENTEE BALLOT NOTICE

OUT OF TOWN?

WORRIED ABOUT HAVING TO WAIT IN LINE? GOING HIKING, BIKING, OR CLIMBING ON ELECTION DAY? That’s okay, because whatever the reason, you can vote by absentee from July 1 to August 15, 2016!

Stop in and vote at the absentee polling site located in the basement of the Teton County Administration Building at 200 S. Willow St., Jackson, Wyoming.

You can also call or email us to request that a ballot be mailed to you | 307.733.4430 | elections@tetonwyo.org All absentee ballots must be received by 7:00 p.m. on August 16th, 2016.

PSYCHIATRIC TRAVEL R.N.S NEEDED

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JULY 20 SUMMER FOODIE EDITION

Love Local FOR THE OF

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Despite a brief 90-day growing season, the valley’s number of food locavores and sustainable sweethearts continues to grow.

The Planet is celebrating some of the folks who work tirelessly to bring the farm to our tables in its Summer Foodie Celebration. This July 20 edition spotlights some of the local efforts, from chefs and restaurants to farms and purveyors, making Jackson Hole’s food scene more vibrant and sustainable. Bon Appétit!

For all MEETING AGENDAS AND MINUTES WEEKLY CALENDAR JOB OPENINGS SOLICITATIONS FOR BIDS PUBLIC NOTICES AND OTHER VALUABLE INFORMATION

Visit our website

TetonWyo.org

JULY 6, 2016 | 7

Dig in to discounted ad rates for this special edition.

307.732.0299 or sales@planetjh.com

The public meeting agendas and minutes for the Board of County Commissioners and Planning Commission can also be found in the Public Notices section of the JH News and Guide.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

8 | JULY 6, 2016

THEM ON US

By JAKE NICHOLS

Police solve missing bison case Law enforcement agencies across the country are facing public backlash regarding their approach to arrests, infringements on Constitutional rights, and wrongful death suits. So it’s refreshing to see a police department still practicing some old school public outreach.

Mayor Sara Flitner tipped us off to a heartwarming story featuring the benevolence of the Jackson Police Department. Several months ago a “super cool police officer in Jackson” gave young Davis McDowell a stuffed bison. Davis’ mom, Gayle, said just getting to meet a policeman was thrill enough for her son, but the toy buffalo and Davis soon became inseparable.

Davis called the bison “Officer Buffalo” and he took it everywhere with him. Then, the buffalo was lost. Gayle searched online but was unable to find a replacement. She reached out to Jackson PD with a letter asking if they could point her to where they got the toy. The department did better than that.

An officer drove 30 miles to the store where the buffalo was purchased and bought Davis an exact replica. The replacement was mailed to Davis complete with a police department patch, badge and note explaining the bison had wandered back to Jackson to see his old police friends and was well cared for during that time.

Way to go, Jackson’s finest.

Cabin in the woods Wide Open Country’s Home & Garden contributor Courtney Giardina is ready to drop everything and move into a juicy Jackson Hole cabin. “[W]e’d love to move in,” she wrote.

The property Giardina was drooling over is a Sotheby’s listing for the Crescent H Ranch lodge that includes 88 acres; a 3-bed, 3-bath log cabin called the Lion’s Den; and two additional guest cabins.

“We could see ourselves enjoying a cup of warm coffee in the morning or nightly glass of wine on the front porch swings of the bedroom cabins,” Giardina finished before disclosing the price tag: a cool $14.8 million.

Transgender in Laramie The battle for transgender rights in Wyoming rages on with Laramie the unofficial epicenter of the state debate. A story in The New Tork Times featured recent Laramie High School grad Rihanna Kelver, who is transgender. The 18-year-old is running for a seat on the school board in Albany County School District 1 based entirely on transgendered students being allowed to choose their bathroom.

Jack Healy’s piece began with a self-imposed multiple-choice question ACSD No. 1 trustees asked themselves. The choices included letting “transgender students use the bathrooms matching their gender identity, aligning Laramie with the Obama administration and liberal activists,” or letting “anatomy dictate, appeasing conservative parents and religious groups.”

Healy wrote that, “It was a tough call in a community that is one part liberal college town and one part conservative Wyoming range, where some church signs cite Scripture while others quote the musician Prince. People still visit a memorial to Matthew Shepard, the gay University of Wyoming student who was murdered nearby in 1998.”

CHiPs star bikes onto Idaho force CHiPs star Erik Estrada just joined the St. Anthony, Idaho police force. The actor famous for his role as a California motorcycle cop in the hit 1980s TV series was sworn in as a reserve officer last week by Mayor Neils Thueson at city hall in the town of 3,500 people northeast of Rexburg.

Estrada said he plans to work with the police department in protecting children from Internet predators. The actor grew up in East Harlem, NYC always wanting to be a cop.

Since the show, Estrada has started working for agencies around the country beginning in Virginia.

Estrada said he chose St. Anthony because he’s run into red tape in bigger cities. His invitation to help out was almost ignored, however, for the very reason “Ponch” is taking up the cause.

Six weeks ago Police Chief Terry Harris told the Idaho State Journal he received an email from Estrada that warned, among other things, that “you can’t trust everybody on the web.” So he didn’t. Then he did some research and found the email was legit and Estrada did indeed want to help his force fight Internet crime. PJH

Longtime Recurring Theme Peaks

NEWS OF THE

WEIRD

In May, an apparently devout woman named Katy Vasquez of Winter Park, Fla., posted a sincerely written entry on Facebook (and told Huffington Post in an interview) that she had just seen a “sign from God”—a cross—as a smudge in her infant’s soiled diaper.

“I prayed to God for a sign that everything would be OK,” she gushed to the reporter. “It might not be the prettiest sign, but he put it where he knew I’d see it.”

(Hence, News of the Weird retires the recurring theme begun in the 1980s with Jesus in a rust stain on an abandoned refrigerator.)

Fine Points of the Law

By CHUCK SHEPHERD Recurring Themes

Even though extraordinarily rare, two people recently reported foreign accent syndrome after their brain traumas apparently caused crossing of cranial “wires.”

1. “J.C.,” 50, was described in the journal Cortex as an energetic Italian who, after a brain injury, inexplicably speaks constantly in “emphatic, error-prone French.” 2. Six months ago, Lisa Alamia of Rosenberg, Texas, awoke from surgery inexplicably speaking in a British accent (particularly confusing her family and friends since she previously spoke not so much “English” as “Texan”). Medical experts cited by CBS News reported that fewer than 100 people worldwide have ever been diagnosed with foreign accent syndrome.

To their great surprise, Sophie Scafidi and friends, on an outing in Hampton Beach, N.H., in June, learned that a man spying on and photographing them through a camera lens hidden in a Gatorade bottle painted black was not violating any law. Although the lens was rigged to the man’s phone, which contained beach photos, including some of children, police informed Scafidi that even surreptitious photography in sleazy circumstances, as long as done on public property, was legal—and that the only law broken in the incident was by the person who snatched the “camera” to show police.

Redneck Chronicles

n A court in Canberra, Australia, found Wesley King not guilty of a 2014 burglary despite his DNA’s having been found at the crime scene—on underpants containing his fresh feces. Wrote Chief Justice Helen Murrell in June: There is a “reasonable possibility” that the burglar was someone else who was wearing unwashed underwear that had previously been worn by the accused. (Thus, she found King not guilty of all charges.)

Compelling Explanations

n In June, a federal appeals court revived Adrian King’s lawsuit against the Huttonsville Correctional Center in West Virginia for emotional distress and invasion of privacy in forcing him into surgery to remove the marbles he had implanted in his penis before going behind bars in 2008. King did not allege that he misses the marbles but only that he had chosen body-modification and that the surgery was against his will, causing pain upon touch (or whenever it gets cold, or rains or snows).

Prison officials initially ordered the surgery because it was unclear that the objects were not contraband.

Weird Science

Awwwww

n A woman in Goldsboro, N.C., acquired a freezer from her neighbor several months ago but said she hadn’t looked inside until May, when she discovered parts of a dead body (and called authorities). She said the neighbor had discouraged her from opening the freezer because “a church” was using it as a “time capsule.”

Government in Action

The Illinois secretary of state stopped mailing reminders about license-plate renewal deadlines in October because his office said the state could no longer afford the $450,000-a-month mailing cost (thus saving taxpayers $3.6 million so far). The Belleville NewsDemocrat (Illinois) and The Associated Press reported in June that the state has collected (not surprisingly!) $5.24 million more in the resultant “late fees” people had to pay on their license-plate renewals than it had collected the year before the reminders stopped. (A proposal for a 30-day grace period for expired plates failed in the just-concluded legislative session.)

Choice Take away a woman’s right to choose and she’s left to take matters into her own hands.

IT’S PRO-CHOICE OR NO-CHOICE. Paid for by the KCR Coalition for Pro-Choice Kristyne Crane Rupert | www.naral.org.

RABBIT ROW REPAIR WE SERVICE THEM ALL …

Drugs—Is There Anything They Can’t Do?

University of Georgia student Benjamin Abele, 22, was finally subdued by four police officers on May 29 after he had run naked down an Athens street and leaped into the gooey, malodorous back end of a garbage truck, wallowing in the slimy liquid that pools under the gunk (hindering arrest), and then attempting to burrow further into the filthiness to somehow “escape.”

Two Taser shots had no effect, and he was identified as high on PCP.

Meanwhile, Overseas

Voters in June in the village of Draguseni, Romania, elected Vasile Cepoi mayor—no, not the Vasile Cepoi who lost, or the other Vasile Cepoi who lost. The winner was the incumbent mayor, Vasile Cepoi. (There was also a fourth candidate, who was not named Vasile Cepoi.)

Thanks This Time to Gerald Sacks and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

4 2 8 0 W. L E E P E R • W I L S O N • 3 0 7 - 7 3 3 - 4 3 3 1

JULY 6, 2016 | 9

The Sacramento (California) Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals put out a call for help in April after stray kittens were found dumped in a yard, with only two still alive but nearly blind with eye infections and needing animal blood for a serum that might save the eyes. The call was “answered” by the rescue dog Jemmie. After Jemmie’s blood “donation” (not a transfusion, since the blood went only to make the serum), vets reported saving one eye of one of the kittens, earning Jemmie a “special” reward. (Said vet Sarah Varanini, “There’s nothing in life (Jemmie) likes more than kittens.”)

A former Malaysian legislator (Mr. S. Manikavasagam), who was charged in June with taking a bribe worth about U.S. $7,300 from a contractor, claimed innocence—that somehow a package of money was thrown into his car as he drove down a city street.

PR

Please support keeping abortion safe and legal.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Medical Daily, in a May review of recent cases, noted progress in dealing with Cotard’s syndrome—a disorder that leads patients to believe they have no blood or vital body parts—or feeling as if they are dead (or may as well be). Studies show one in about 200 psychiatric patients exhibit the symptoms, and one doctor, describing a brain scan of his patient, said brain activity resembled that of a person in a coma or under anesthesia. Cotard’s, also known as walking corpse syndrome, leads patients to thus avoid eating or bathing (asking themselves, why bother?).

At the monthly pro wrestling show in Ringgold, Ga., in June, Patricia Crowe, 59, apparently having had enough of “bad guy” Paul Lee, reportedly jumped into the ring to rescue “good guy” Iron Mann, whom Lee had “tied up” and been beating with a chair. First, she cut Mann loose with her knife and then pulled a loaded handgun on Lee (and was eventually arrested by sheriff’s deputies).

Crowe admitted that Lee’s earlier “mean” banter with ringside patrons had unnerved her, especially when he told Crowe to sit her “toothless self back down.”

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

10 | JULY 6, 2016

RIVER OF NO RETURN a trip down Idaho’s wild and protected rivers shows the wisdom in saving something.

“W

ilderness” is a word Westerners hear in the context of dispute.

It is a word that many of the American West’s leaders revile, while outdoorsmen and -women, conservationists and environmentalists, cherish. There are places though where blocks of wilderness have been set aside for the solitude and the sanity of all humans.

One such place, and the focus of this story, is a massive blank spot on the map in central Idaho known as the Frank Church River of No Return Wilderness.

Here, hundreds of miles of wild rivers, undammed and untamed by man, flow through vast gorges—one deeper than the Grand Canyon—and split rugged, pine-carpeted mountain ranges. Here—if only for a short while—a man, woman or child can feel closer to that uncategorized feeling—nature, freedom, solitude—that, acre by acre and inch by inch, is so easily destroyed by the blade of a bulldozer, the bit on a drilling rig, the imagination of a city builder and the dammed waters—the goddamned waters—of rivers constipated by concrete wedges.

This wilderness contains two rivers of particular interest, the Middle Fork of the Salmon and the Main Salmon, which the author floated in May and in July 2015, respectively, linking up a 184-mile stretch of water that, apart from the occasional airstrip and fishing cabin, are about as far from civilization as is possible in the Lower 48.

As Wyoming lawmakers, like Rep. Cynthia Lummis-R and Republican senators John Barrasso and Mike Enzi, advocate to wrest millions of acres of public lands from the federal government, the River of No Return wilderness serves as a shining example of how the longsighted wisdom to set something aside, to save something for everyone, has a value that dollars cannot buy.

The wild places of America grow scarcer each day, and as Jackson Hole grapples with the impact of a population that planners and politicians insist will double in the next 35 years, wilderness—or what remains of it, anyway—will forever be under assault by the march of human progress. This is true in Idaho, in Wyoming, and anywhere else where pine

trees sway, rivers run free and oil, coal and other natural-resource deposits sit locked beneath the dirt.

Cort Conley, an Idaho historian, author and boatman who has written guide books about the Main and Middle Fork, says that over the past century, nine dams have been proposed on the Main (the longest undammed river in the nation) and roads have been drawn up to run alongside the rivers.

Through a combination of luck, good timing and farsightedness, none of these plans has been realized.

“They represent a legacy of a pretty intact ecosystem,” Conley says of the rivers. “I really believe that it’s such a special place and will only become more so with time.”

Conley, though, has witnessed his fair share of losing conservation battles along the rivers, and he reckons that Idaho will remain under assault by miners and developers long into the future.

“There’s always going to be people who would sell Yellowstone for steam power if they saw a buck in it,” he said. “There’s always going to be private or corporate avarice seeking to sell resources for private or corporate gain.”

So, in honor of the wild places that do exist, draw some lines on a map and walk, row or crawl out to some distant, vacant space you’ve never been before. Take a little water, pack a lot of beer, and have some fun.

Bear hunter’s delight

“I’ll hunt you,” the man said, no sarcasm detectable in his tone, not a wrinkle of BS on his face. “Give you a 30-minute head start, no binos, and you can wear camo.”

“Binos” are binoculars. It was supposed to be a relaxing night of drinking beer and chilling out in the steaming water of the Loon Creek hot spring, an outpost accessible only by trail, raft or airplane in the heart of the Frank Church River of No Return Wilderness, when we stumbled upon the hunters.

We were outnumbered and badly outmuscled.

Most of the hunters were barrel-chested men with

Words and photos BY COLBY FRAZIER forests of black chest hair. Holding numerous bearand wolf-killing permits, they were armed with highpowered rifles. An unknown number of them were Mormons. All were Idahoans; two were women; one clutched a Busch Light.

We were eight river-rats from the city. Two women, six men. Four on a pair of rafts and four kayakers.

We had no guns but were rich in beer, since several in our party had failed to consume their eight- to 12-beer-per-day allotment.

The hunters were happy. They explained how, earlier that day, from 300 yards away and on the opposite side of the river, they had killed a 6-foot-tall male black bear. Discarding the bulk of the animal, the hunters took the fur and the skull (“looks a lot like a human,” one of the men said) as souvenirs.

And the hunters were not finished. They held three additional permits for bear and four for wolves.

One described the time he had heard a wolf howl.

“It was blood-curtlin’,” he said.

Several beers into my daily allotment, I was inspired to ask a series of questions: Q: Will you use the fur for a coat?

A: No, a rug.

Q: How many times did you shoot the bear?

A: Three times: At least once in the head, because a bullet was found lodged in the bear’s skull.

Q: Does bear meat taste good?

A: Yes. Q: How many permits for bear are issued in Idaho?

A: Thousands per year.

Q: Where did you get your permit?

A: At a gas station in Salmon.

Q: How much did you pay for it?

A: $10.

Then I confided to the hunters a morbid thought: “I wouldn’t mind being killed by a bear, lion or wolf.

Better way to go than a car crash.”

At this comment, the conversation went quiet, and the man sitting closest to me said he didn’t have much say over what a bear does. But he’d be happy to hunt me.

After three full days into a spring trip down the Middle Fork of the Salmon River, a man offering to

Salmon River

•Lewiston

Carey Creek

(Main Salmon take-out)

South Fork Salmon River

Corn Creek

(Main Salmon put-in)

Upper Selway River

Cache Bar

(Middle Fork take-out)

•

McCall

Big Creek

•

•

Boise

Idaho Falls

•

Twin Falls kill me in the forest didn’t seem like a huge deal. When you’re on the Middle Fork, the river, the forest and the people you are with, and the rare few you come across, are all that matter. There is no connection to wherever home is, no lines to communication to bosses and loved ones. You are free to float in peace, and attempt, if only for a few days, to concentrate on little more than the moment. And, under the oddest of circumstances, you might even get to imagine yourself decked out in camouflage, sprinting up a mountain, a bino-less bear hunter hot on your heels.

Run-in with Bear Hunters

Loon Creek Boundary Creek

(Middle Fork put in)

and RPK managed to switch it out for a launch on May 28, because that date worked better for the crew); and the Main Salmon River. This last trip, down the Main, was a last-minute pick-up that the RPK obtained when he realized the water level in Montana would not float his boat.

And this final permit is, perhaps, the most impressive. July is prime-time lottery season for the Main Salmon.

According to U.S. Forest Service statistics, 534 people applied for a permit for July 8, 2015. Four people were awarded a permit. One cancelled two weeks before the launch, and the RPK put his hooks into it. While this permit filled RPK’s immediate needs, it also afforded several of us who floated the Middle Fork in May the opportunity to continue down an 80-mile stretch of the river, seeing both the Middle Fork and the Main in the same season.

Although it’s unusual to pick up a cancellation permit during prime season, it’s much easier to do so on the “shoulder” seasons. In late May and early June, the Middle Fork typically gushes at a wild rate, making it unappealing and, at times, downright unsafe to run. But this is exactly when RPK likes to run the Middle Fork, and snagging early-season permits on

JULY 6, 2016 | 11

you a three-year ban from the lottery process—permit holders can cancel their permits a month ahead of time, freeing up the permit for someone else.

The primary problem with picking up cancellation permits is time. Even with months of preparation, spending a week in the wilderness far from grocery stores, hospitals and cell phones is a difficult task. And planning for one of these trips in a couple weeks or with only a month’s notice is even harder.

Another obstacle is that these rivers, especially at high flows in the early spring, are swollen freight trains that roar into vicious rapids that take some level of experience to navigate safely.

This narrows the field greatly.

But if one fails to draw a permit through the lottery, a cancellation can be obtained. And the RPK picks up rare river permits the way the late basketball star Wilt Chamberlain picked up groupies: prolifically.

So far in 2015—a year that left the RPK permit-less with the exception of the Smith River in Montana, which ran out of water before he could run it—the RPK has picked up cancellation permits on the Yampa River in Colorado, which is the last major free-flowing river in the Colorado River system; two permits on the Middle Fork (one was for May 24,

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

on any of the Idaho rivers, a mix of determination, flexibility and an insatiable lust for rowing his yellow 15 1/2-foot raft has delivered him down the Middle Fork for the past seven consecutive years.

Of course, the River Permit King, whose real name is Steve, needs companionship on the river. That’s where I and several other river runners come in. If the river is our church, then Rare year for a rare river Idaho has 107,651 river miles, 891 of RPK is our prophet, and we follow him which are protected under the federal around wherever it is he wants us to go.

Wild and Scenic Rivers Act .

And a significant portion of Idaho’s River permit royalty wild rivers can be ticked off and seen It’s tough to say exactly who crowned first-hand by river runners ambitious the River Permit King. What matters more enough to link up the Middle Fork’s is that it is among the truest nicknames 104 miles with the main branch of the ever bestowed upon a person.

Salmon River’s permitted 80 miles.

The RPK’s luck is no better than the But obtaining a permit to run either rest of us, and he never draws a permit one of these rivers requires some luck through the lottery system. in Idaho’s Four Rivers Lottery, which, in To be clear, RPK, along with the rest of 2015, received 23,993 applications. (The the river-running community, religiously other two rivers in the Four Rivers Lottery pays modest fees (Four Rivers entries are Hell’s Canyon on the Snake, and the cost $6) to enter the lotteries every Selway River.)

January. Many groups of river runners These nearly 24,000 souls competed throw large parties for their friends and to win a total of 1,095 permits on these families, at which everyone assists and four rivers. On the Middle Fork, 387 colludes on dates, times and rivers that permits were issued, while the Main must be run. If one person wins at a riversaw 310 permits awarded. permit party, that person is expected to While it’s not impossible to draw invite a hefty portion of the others who a permit through the lottery, I have attended that party on the trip. Mutual known only two people lucky enough to invites are expected all around. win a permit for the Middle Fork. And But when a group comes up dry—the for ambitious river runners, waiting norm for our group—what then? This is until next year isn’t really an option. where the RPK shines. Some people who This is where my pal, the River draw lottery permits aren’t able to show Permit King, comes in handy. Though up on the date and time of their launch. he has never personally won a permit Rather than failing to show—which earns

Middle Fork Salmon River

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

12 | JULY 6, 2016

A five-day beer supply for three people. this pristine artery that hosts around 300 rapids hasn’t proven particularly difficult for RPK. It is the tenacity of RPK that allowed us this summer to link up—not consecutively—the Middle Fork and the Main Salmon rivers.

River running enhancements

Once plans for a river trip are set in stone, all kinds of tasks await. You have to get your gear together: at least one stove, tables, chairs, tents, warm clothes, cool clothes, rafts, oars, kayaks, ropes, first-aid kits, cooking supplies—basically everything you’d take car camping.

Two significant necessities must be calculated, tabulated and accounted for: food and drink. Our crew prefers to take care of the first by divvying out meals among various members. For example, I took on a single day’s meal: breakfast, lunch, dinner and cocktail.

Cooking on the river is a good time, but the RPK and his followers tend to rise around 9 a.m., eat at 10 a.m. and, somehow, consistently fail to make it onto the water by noon. This makes for long days on the water. And if you get to camp as the sun is setting, cooking a meal from scratch in darkness is a hassle.

The night before a river trip, I spend the evening cooking. Biscuits and gravy for breakfast, a hummus-and-vegetable wrap for lunch and tamales for dinner.

Once all of the gear is packed on the trailer and miles start to fly, the debate on beer begins.

If Idaho is the destination, then

The crew on the Main Salmon.

Tommy the Hammer paying for his Loon Creek swim with a Chaco-shot of whiskey.

When you’re on the Middle Fork, the river, the forest and the people you are with, and the rare few you come across, are all that matter. buying a bunch of beer in Idaho is a good way to go.

But how much beer does one person need for a river trip? This question is debated furiously in the river-running world. For a newcomer, it is easy to underestimate the volume of barley water needed to get down a river. A key factor is the mode with which one is floating.

For kayakers, it is a proven fact there there is less time to drink beer—and less carrying capacity—than those who ride on rafts. A safe beer budget for a kayaker, then, is eight to 10 beers per day. A beer-loving rafter, on the other hand, should probably budget at least 12 beers per day. Sometimes you drink more, sometimes less. And whether or not you drink all of these beers is not the point. The most important thing to consider when you’re in some neon-lighted grocery store for the last time for a week is to buy enough beer.

“Enough” beer is the amount it takes to feel calm and confident that you won’t run out as the river days drift by—a fearful reality that haunts the dreams of anyone who has ever rationed too modestly and looked on as their friends

Bishop Jesse preaching.

gluttonously imbibed.

Attending to certain matters

Most multiple-day river trips require special equipment to ensure that campers follow the “leave no trace” wilderness etiquette.

Leave no trace means exactly that. And river runners usually abide. It is the norm along the Middle Fork and Main Salmon rivers to arrive at a pristine campsite and, aside from the occasional footprint in the sand, fail to find any sign of human life.

A few key precautions must be taken to ensure that no signs of the nightly party around the campfire are left for future visitors. For a fire pit, a fire pan, elevated off of the soil with a fireresistant fire blanket placed beneath, is used. All trash, including ashes from the fire, is gathered and hauled out. Dishwater is strained above the high-water mark so that solids can be thrown in the trash, which is collected and carried on a raft for the duration of the trip. Rangers politely ask that river runners pee in the river, so as to prevent campsites from reeking like a kitty-litter box. And then there is poop.

We humans poop, preferably, every day—or even twice or three times a day. And, for whatever reason, many humans believe that they have the right to put poop wherever they wish.

The common myth holds that digging a hole a few inches deep, filling the hole with feces, burning the toilet paper and covering up the hole suffices as good wilderness behavior.

Lake Powell is a good example why this is not true and how human waste can ruin a person’s day. In the mid1990s, when boaters were busy pooping

The River Permit King (RPK), in his element on the Middle Fork.

Tommy the Hammer at rest.

in the sand all across the big bathtub, many beaches had to be closed due to E. coli—a bacteria indicative of the presence of human waste.

Each year, roughly 10,000 people float down the Middle Fork and Main Salmon rivers, and if every one of them took a dump in the weeds—well, it would cause some problems.

On the river, the matter of poop is taken care of by a “groover.” Nothing special, the groover is a toilet seat set atop a military-surplus ammunition can with a special liner. So named for the days before rafters discovered they could place a toilet seat atop the ammo can and instead sat on the edges of the box, leaving grooves on their hindquarters— the groover is an effective, and enjoyable, way to crap in the woods.

No view is finer than the view from a groover. Placed at the right perch down among some boulders, the river coursing past just feet away, or up in the trees along a creek, it makes for the finest bathroom experience around. Of course, a groove session can be soured by mosquitoes or some other beasts, but typically, after several days of grooving with a view, returning to a conventional toilet at home is a disappointment.

Because the rafters lug the kayakers’ beer and gear down the river, kayakers often find themselves in charge of the groover. Kayakers carry the poop box and assorted toilet paper and toilet-seat box to and from the boats. Kayakers also get to set the groover up wherever we want, and so must become experts of views and surveyors o f

flat ground. When a groover begins to fill, it is the responsibility of the kayaker to initiate a poopcompacting method that involved picking the groove box up and dropping it on the ground.

The groover box or boxes remain in their various states of use throughout the trip and can be emptied at an RV park, or anywhere else where people go “camping” with satellite television, generators and 1,000-square feet of air-conditioned space on wheels.

Our pal Charles the Shaman, who describes himself as “kayaking swine,” is a groover enthusiast. He loves to set up the groover in plain sight of the river and he enjoys being spotted there in the late morning as more punctual parties pass by on the water.

Charles sees it like this, and explained it thusly to my 8-year-old daughter on the Main Salmon trip: “Setting up the groover is a way to get the most respect for the least amount of work.”

Words to live by.

So goes the wisdom of Charles the Shaman, who no one begrudges for failing to help carry stoves, tables and coolers to and from the kitchen area, because he can be counted on for taking care of the poop.

How Tommy the Hammer almost died (and how his boat was dented)

Charles the Shaman, surfing a wave on the Middle Fork.

“Whose river is this?”

Boundary Creek boat ramp, Middle Fork.

The confluence of the Middle Fork, right, and the Main Salmon.

Twilight on the Main Salmon.

JULY 6, 2016 | 13

On the river, there are moments of great clarity and joy interspersed with dashes of fear. Fear of a rapid, or fear of what might be taking place at home—and fear of bear hunters. But what shines through is the freedom of a river trip. The freedom of being able to scream out about anything; the freedom of a set number of tasks woven into the routine of eating, drinking, pitching tents and breaking them down and sleeping and waking and grooving.

But perhaps the greatest freedom wilderness affords is the freedom of the unknown. The thing that haunts my days and stimulates my mind as much as any other is the knowledge that there are places I can go where I am not king; where, with a stroke or two of bad luck and poor planning, I could freeze to death, drown or be crushed by a falling tree. Best of all, I think, is that there are creatures—blood-curtlin’ ones—that could turn me into their evening snack with a slash or two of a paw.

River-running season is still in full swing, and the lure to escape the city, work, crowds and civilization altogether is as strong as it was in the doldrums of winter. Even though I’m 184-rivermiles richer than I was in April, I’m already mapping out next year’s trips: how many beers I’ll budget per day, which river permits I’ll apply for, how many days I can convince the boss to let me take off from work.

The beauty of protected public lands is that whether they’re in Idaho, Wyoming, New York or California, they belong to us all. This was the message from a silver-haired ranger at the Main Salmon, who after warning us about bears and poison ivy and explaining that we must pee in the river, asked us a simple question: “Whose river is this?”

Someone answered correctly: “It is all of ours.”

“That’s right,” the ranger said. “Enjoy your river and take care of it.” PJH

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

At the put-in at Boundary Creek, not far from Stanley, Idaho, the Middle Fork originates in an alpine forest thick with ponderosa pine trees.

From the boat ramp—a wooden structure (that could be a ski jump) drops from the ranger station straight down to the river—the river is swift, shedding 40 feet of elevation per mile. The Middle Fork also immediately begins to grow, picking up side streams that make it swell in size.

Unlike a float on a dammed river, the Middle Fork offers a clear picture of what a river system looks like. Over the course of its 104 miles, numerous creeks, some the size of small rivers, tumble through canyons and add to the flow. By the end of the trip, after descending some 3,000 feet in elevation, the Middle Fork morphs from an alpine stream into a flowing monster, complete with the customary massive boils, waves, and eddy lines that big water tends to breed.

One of the Middle Fork’s larger creeks is called Loon. On this trip, we managed to secure the campsite where the aquamarine waters of Loon Creek tumble into the Middle Fork. Any kayaker who’s ever walked the mile and a half up Loon Creek to the hot spring located there has looked down on the creek with lust-filled eyes, saying quite bravely, and perhaps even drunkenly, “I’ll run that next time.”

Charles the Shaman has said this so many times that, this time, he decided to make it so. After arriving at Loon Creek late in the afternoon, the four kayakers, Charles, Tommy, Robin and myself, dragged our boats up the trail. Along the way, we did our best to scout the creek, which didn’t appear terribly technical but had its fair share of grabby rapids. Near the top, a downed log stretched three quarters of the distance across the creek. The approach to the log consisted of a pair of mediumsized rapids, which would have to be navigated smoothly. The log could certainly hurt, and possibly even kill, a boater.

We crammed into our kayaks and set off down the short stretch. Within minutes, trouble came our way. Tommy found himself pinned against a large rock just above the log. Before I could make it to him, he had bailed out of his boat and was swimming. I heard screaming from the shore. The RPK, who had hiked up to watch, yelled down at Tommy to let go of his boat and swim away from the log. I paddled hard, keeping one eye on Tommy and another on the moves that needed to be made.

As Tommy backstroked to safety, his boat went beneath the log. It let out a hollow thumping as the water pounded it against the log. When it finally flushed free, the boat sped downstream.

Full of water, the boat was difficult to pull through the rocky creek. About 100 yards below the strainer, it became submerged and pinned on a rock about 10 feet from shore.

Tying some quick knots and rounding up some carabiners, we managed to tug the boat, which had sustained a softball-size dent, to safety.

It was a harrowing end to the day. Tommy the Hammer isn’t easily flappable and wasn’t flapped.

Charles the Shaman got what he wanted and, at long last, floated Loon Creek.

After dinner, we walked back up to the hot springs to retrieve Tommy’s boat and do some soaking, mostly in peace.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

14 | JULY 6, 2016

WELL, THAT HAPPENED WEDNESDAY, JULY 6

n Fitness & Dance Classes All Day! 7:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Coffee with a Ranger 7:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free, 307-739-3594 n Yoga 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n American Indian Guest Artist 8:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free, 307-739-3594 n Toddler Gym 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, 307-739-9025 n Strollercize 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $10.00, 307-739-9025 n Historic Miller Ranch Tour 10:00am, National Elk Refuge, Free, 307-733-9212 n Storytime 10:00am, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Walking Tour of Jackson 10:30am, Center of Town Square, Free, 307-733-2141 n Fables Feathers & Fur 10:30am, National Museum of Wildlife Art, Free, 307-733-5771 n Total Fitness 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Open Build 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-354-5522 n Summer of Code 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Summer Reading 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Movie Afternoon: “The Minions” 2:00pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Murie Center Ranch Tour 2:30pm, Murie Center, Free, 307-739-2246 n JH People’s Market 4:00pm, The Base of Snow King, Free, n Free Solar Astronomy Program 4:00pm, JH People’s Market, Free n Covered Wagon Cookout 4:15pm, Bar T 5, $37.00 $45.00, 307-733-5386 n Rebecca Ryan 4:30pm, The Deck at Psite, Free, 307-733-2292 n Alive@5: Teton Raptor Center 5:00pm, Teton Village Commons, Free, 307-733-5898

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 15

n Arts and Drafts - Pint Night 5:00pm, Grand Teton Brewing Company - Victor, Free, 817366-1795 n Bar J Chuckwagon Supper 5:30pm, Bar J, $25.00 - $35.00, 307-733-3370 n Covered Wagon Cookout 5:30pm, Bar T 5, $37.00 $45.00, 307-733-5386 n Survivors of Suicide Loss Support Group 6:00pm, St. John’s Medical Center Eagle Classroom, Free, 307-690-5419 n Barbara Trentham Life Drawing 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $10.00, 307-7336379 n Cribbage Club 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Driggs, Free, 208-354-5522 n JH Shootout 6:00pm, Town Square, Free, 307-733-3316 n Wednesday Community Dinner 6:00pm, Presbyterian Church of Jackson Hole, Free, 307-7340388 n Cribbage 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Disc Golf Doubles 6:00pm, Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, 307-733-2292 n Byron’s Guitar at Jenny Lake Lodge 6:00pm, Jenny Lake Lodge, Free, 307-733-4647 n Bluegrass Wednesday with PTO 6:00pm, Cafe Genevieve, Free, 307-732-1910 n Wednesday Evening Conditioning Hike - Crater Lake 6:00pm, Old Pass Road Trailhead, Free n Writer’s Workshop Series 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Monte Yellowbird AKA Black Pinto Horse 6:00pm, Teton County Library, Free, 307-733-6379 n The Ballad of Cat Ballou 6:30pm, JH Playhouse, $35.00 $65.00, 307-733-6994 n The HOF BAND plays POLKA! 6:30pm, The Alpenhof Bistro, Free, 307-413-1348 n Information Session for Habitat’s Housing Program 6:30pm, Alpine Library, Free, 307-734-0828 n GTMF Presents: An Evening of Rodgers and Hammerstein 7:00pm, Walk Festival Hall, $30.00, 307-733-1128

Compiled by Caroline LaRosa n Watershed Jackson presents a special screening of Concussion the Movie 7:30pm, Pink Garter Theatre, $10.00, 307-733-1500 n JH Rodeo 8:00pm, Fairgrounds, $15.00 $35.00, 307-733-7927 n KHOL Presents: Vinyl Night 8:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307733-1500 n Songwriter’s Alley Open Mic 8:00pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n Isaac Hayden 8:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n Reggae Night w/Selecta Victor Raggamuffin 8:00pm, Stagecoach Bar, Free, 307-733-4407 n Most Wanted Band 9:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, $5.00, 307-733-2207

THURSDAY, JULY 7

n Fitness & Dance Classes All Day! 7:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Coffee with a Ranger 7:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free, 307-739-3594 n Business Over Breakfast 7:30am, The Wort Hotel, $16.00 - $25.00, 307-201-2309 n Kettlebells 8:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n American Indian Guest Artist 8:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free, 307-739-3594 n Ski Lake Wildflower Hike 9:00am, Phillips Pass Trailhead on Teton Pass, 307-739-9025 n Yoga 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Historic Miller Ranch Tour 10:00am, National Elk Refuge, Free, 307-733-9212 n Yoga on the Trail 10:00am, National Museum of Wildlife Art, Free, 307-733-5771 n Toddler Time 10:05am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Walking Tour of Jackson 10:30am, Center of Town Square, Free, 307-733-2141 n Storytime 10:30am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Beginning Throwing 11:00am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $165.00, 307733-6379 n Teton Toastmasters 12:00pm, Teton County Commissioners Chambers, Free

ANDREW MUNZ

THIS WEEK: July 6-12, 2016

Howdy Doody Yee-haws win out ho-hums at the Jackson Hole Playhouse.

BY ANDREW MUNZ @AndrewMunz

W

hen I ask people in town where they’re from, and they respond with, “Here,” I have a playful habit of following up with, “Do you know what a Garnick is?” They often stare at me in confusion. One guy even responded, confident, “It’s a type of rock.” I’m sure there are plenty of people who identify as locals who would fail the Garnick test, but it’s just for my own amusement.

The Garnick family is a huge and immensely talented part of this community, having managed the Jackson Hole Playhouse for more than three decades. And if you Gen X-ers, Y-ers or Millennials don’t know at least one of Vicky Garnick’s eight kids, there’s a good chance you didn’t grow up ‘round these parts.

My family moved here in 1994 when I was seven years old, and it wasn’t until two weeks ago that I realized my mom had never seen a show at the Playhouse. I’d seen my fair share of Playhouse shows over the years, very likely every title they have on their rotating roster.

But this year’s production, “The Ballad of Cat Ballou,” happens to be my favorite, followed closely by “The Unsinkable Molly Brown.” I knew I had to take her.

Mom and I got tickets for dinner and the show, and I prepared her for absolutely none of it. We were seated in the Saddle Rock Saloon at a quint round table. Since the Playhouse does family-style seating, we were paired up with a couple from Germany who neither of us had met before. Since my family is from Austria, I told them, “We can speak in German if it’s easier. We’re Austrian.” The German man laughed and said, “Well, German is a little bit different than Austrian.” Oh you sweet German tourists, you. (If you’ve traveled the world you may know what I’m talking about.

If there are German tourists reading this, you also may know what I’m talking about.)

The couple spent the rest of the night

Playhouse actor Golden Garnick poses with his new biggest fan, the author’s mother, Helga Tesar.

complaining about the food, the fact that no alcohol was served, the singing waiters, the amount of ice in their water glasses, the confusion about their seats, and just about everything else they could think of. My mom turned to me and whispered, “Don’t you wish we spoke a third language?”

Our annoyances fell away once the energetic pre-show started. I watched my mom’s face light up like a kid at Christmas. The local and outside talent that Vicky Garnick brings to the table is professional, charming, and more talented than most community theatre casts in the valley. The musical production is candidly hokey and ridiculous, often over-acted and hackneyed to death. But that’s what makes the Playhouse so unique in the valley.

They own the cheese and they drive it home six nights a week.

Throughout the play, it warmed my heart to watch Mom roll with laughter at the antics on stage. The rest of the audience was also having a blast, accepting the show for exactly what it was: a feel-good Western musical.

Having to perform so many shows, the actors do plenty every night to keep things interesting for themselves. At one point during the traditional Benny Hill-style runaround, actor Golden Garnick moaned, “My microphone is falling off and I’m really tired,” just loud enough for the audience to hear, spurring plenty more laughs.

I know it sounds like this column was paid for by the Playhouse (it wasn’t), but I think it’s important to highlight Jackson’s overlooked treasures. It bums me out when locals shrug off the rodeo or the Playhouse as typical, corny tourist traps. These are the same people who sing praises of what the Town Square Shootout “used to be,” describing its pre-Playhouse days like it was some goddamn Quentin Tarantino/OK Corral bloodbath.

Jackson’s howdy-doody Western roots are nothing to be ashamed of, nor should we mislabel local entertainment as fodder for tourists just because Michael Franti isn’t headlining.

After the play I asked the German couple what they thought, and the man frowned and tilted his palm back and forth. My mom emerged behind them, smiling from ear to ear.

“Wie schade,” I told the man. What a shame. PJH

JULY 6, 2016 | 15

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 18

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n Spin 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307739-9025 n Summer Activity: Ceramic Owls 2:00pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307-733-2164 n Murie Center Ranch Tour 2:30pm, Murie Center, Free, 307-739-2246 n Covered Wagon Cookout 4:15pm, Bar T 5, $37.00 - $45.00, 307-733-5386 n Alive@5: Tunes on Thursday 5:00pm, Teton Village Commons, Free, 307-7335898 n Chanman - Solo 5:00pm, Snake River Brewing, Free, 307 413 1348 n Raptors at the KIng 5:00pm, Snow King Mountain, Free, 307-2015464 n Mad River Boat Trips Chamber Mixer 5:00pm, Mad River Wedge, Free, 307-201-2309 n Diehl Gallery Reception featuring American Prairie Reserve 5:00pm, Diehl Gallery, Free, 406-551-3123 n REFIT® 5:15pm, First Baptist Church, Free, 307-690-6539 n Bar J Chuckwagon Supper 5:30pm, Bar J, $25.00 - $35.00, 307-733-3370 n Covered Wagon Cookout 5:30pm, Bar T 5, $37.00 - $45.00, 307-733-5386 n Zumba 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307739-9025 n Whiskey Experience 6:00pm, VOM FASS Jackson Hole, Free, 307-7341535 n JH Shootout 6:00pm, Town Square, Free, 307-733-3316 n Cha-Wa w/ local opener Wyatt Lowe & the Mayhem Kings 6:00pm, Music on Main, Free, 208-201-5356 n Byron’s Guitar at Jenny Lake Lodge 6:00pm, Jenny Lake Lodge, Free, 307-733-4647 n Great Books Discussion: “Tomorrow, Tomorrow and So Forth” by John Updike 6:00pm, Teton County Library, Free, 307-7332164 n Computer Classes 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208787-2201 n Art Opening: George Jones, A Texas Artist 6:00pm, Grand Teton Gallery, Free, 307-201-1172 n The Ballad of Cat Ballou 6:30pm, JH Playhouse, $35.00 - $65.00, 307733-6994 n Backcountry Zero and Headwall Sports present “State of the Summer” 7:00pm, Headwall Sports, Free, 307-734-8022 n GTMF Presents: National Collegiate Chorale of Scotland 7:00pm, Walk Festival Hall, $30.00, 307-733-1128 n Major Zephyr 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-7323939 n Summer Workshop Series 7:30pm, Riot Act, $5.00, 307-203-9067 n Ian McIver 8:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n Salsa Night 9:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307-733-1500 n Most Wanted Band 9:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, $5.00, 307733-2207 n BOGDOG 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-7333886

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

16 | JULY 6, 2016

MUSIC BOX

Summer Heats Up Live music abounds in downtown Jackson, Main Street Victor, and the heart of the Village.

BY AARON DAVIS @ScreenDoorPorch

B

litzen Trapper has become one of my favorite acts to frequent the region over the past handful of years for their rock and folk-rock songwriting, tight and varied instrumental textures, and frontman Eric Earley’s exceptional command of vocal melody.

While the Portland, Oregon quintet gets criticized by a number of my musical peers for their down-to-earth stage presence, not all rock musicians jump off of speakers or have over-the-top stage personalities. Whether it’s playing the

Blitzen Trapper (left), delivers rock and folk musicality Saturday at the Pink Garter. Detroit’s Frontier Ruckus opens. rehearsed notes, nailing a vocal part, or listening to one’s bandmates, perhaps the tradeoff is a focus towards the music and a better show, musically. This is a hard-working, dedicated-to-their-craft group that has been in the game since 2000. In the new song “Rock and Roll (Was Made for You),” Earley touches on the harshness of such a lifestyle, singing: “Yeah I been playin’ this music, man, for so, so long/It’s like track-marks burning up an’ down my arm/But I still can’t get myself to move out to the farm/’cause the things you love, they can do the most harm.”

Earley is a fan of classic Neil Young, the Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, Bruce Springsteen, and The Who. What pours out of Blitzen Trapper these days combines their earlier era of experimental sounds with the classic vibe of the aforementioned rockers, yet they don’t really sound like anyone in particular. That’s what makes a great band an original band, and you can hear those qualities on their 2016 three-song EP Mystery and Wonder, or 2015’s All Across this Land.

I caught a set of the opening band, the Detroit-based folkrock quartet Frontier Ruckus, at an Americana Music Festival showcase at Hard Rock Café Nashville in 2011. Catching up to their current sound on 2014’s Sitcom Afterlife, with gazes into modern pop-culture and strumming sing-a-alongs, the nasally voice of songster Matthew Milia is an acquired taste yet endearing with three-part, female-laced harmonies courtesy of bassist Anna Burch.

Blitzen Trapper with Frontier Ruckus, 9 p.m. Saturday at Pink Garter Theatre. $16-$18. PinkGarterTheatre.com, 733-1500.

Cha Wa’s Mardi Gras Indian funk

The street culture of New Orleans brass bands and Mardi Gras Indians will come alive in the form of Funk ‘n’ Feathers, the debut release by sextet Cha Wa—a slang phrase used by every Mardi Gras Indian Tribe meaning “we’re comin’ for ya.” The spunky festival vibe is infectious while hooting and

WEDNESDAY The Hof Polka Band (Alpenhof Bistro), Songwriter’s Alley Open Mic (Silver Dollar), Isaac Hayden (Mangy Moose) THURSDAY Cha-Wa with Wyatt Lowe & the Mayhem Kings (Victor City Park), LeeLee Roberts (Village Commons), Liver Down by the River (Town Square Tavern)

The vibrant and mysterious Mardi Gras Indians arrive in the form of Cha Wa Thursday at Music on Main in Victor City Park. Wyatt Lowe and the Mayhem Kings open the show. hollering is not only encouraged, the call-and-response singing demands it. Second line and polyrhythmic drumming supports the horns with a Rebirth Brass Band feel, yet with an electric guitar filling a portion of the void typically filled by a massive horn section you’d actually see if they were home on the street.

Opening the show is Wyatt Lowe and the Mayhem Kings featuring 18-year-old outlaw rockabilly, country and rock guitarist/vocalist/songwriter Lowe. Lowe moved away from Jackson Hole last year to Colorado, and will soon be relocating to Nashville to pursue a music education, so this will be both a reunion and a send-off.

Cha Wa with Wyatt Lowe and the Mayhem Kings, 6 p.m.

Thursday at Music on Main in Victor City Park. All-ages. Free, donations encouraged. TetonValleyFoundation.org.

Village gets live at 5 Tuesdays through Fridays in the Village Commons will

Aaron Davis is a decade-long writer of Music Box, a singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, member of Screen Door Porch and Boondocks, founder/host of Songwriter’s Alley, and co-founder of The WYOmericana Caravan.

Richard & Claire generously present Teton Valley Foundation’s

Teton Valley, Idaho

SATURDAY Blitzen Trapper with Frontier Ruckus (Pink Garter Theatre), Ian McFeron Band (Silver Dollar) SUNDAY Stagecoach Band (Stagecoach) MONDAY The Minor Keys (Jackson Lake Lodge), JH Hootenanny (Dornan’s)

THIS WEEK: THURSDAY, JULY 7

on main

DOORS OPEN @ 5:30PM

ICE NIGHT

Cha-Wa w/Wyatt Lowe & the Mayhem Kings NEXT WEEK JULY 14 – TODO MUNDO W/THE CANYON KIDS

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

music

feature a different guest each day, with Thursdays being reserved for music. The other days will include Teton Raptor Center (Wednesdays), Wild Things of Wyoming presenting an “ecosystem overview” (Fridays), and Second Nature wildlife group featuring reptiles (Tuesdays). The programs run about 45 minutes, and are free and all-ages.

The four-artist rotation will include cowjazz singer-songwriter LeeLee Roberts (July 7 and Aug. 18), Celtic group Slip ‘n the Jigs (July 14 and Aug. 11), folk and bluegrass with Mike Swanson and Kate Dreher (July 21 and Aug. 4), and jazz saxophonist Jason Fritts (July 28).

Alive at Five featuring LeeLee Roberts, 5 p.m. Thursday in the Village Commons. Free, all-ages. TetonVillageWy.org PJH

FRIDAY Ian McFeron Band (Silver Dollar), One Leaf Clover (Town Square Tavern)

SPONSORS

JULY 6, 2016 | 17

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

18 | JULY 6, 2016

n Liver Down the River 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-7333886 n Misfit Moonshiners 10:00pm, Knotty Pine, $5.00, 208-787-2866

KULTURE KLASH

FRIDAY, JULY 8

n Fitness & Dance Classes All Day! 7:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n American Indian Guest Artist 8:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free, 307-7393594 n Toddler Gym 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, 307-739-9025 n Strollercize 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $10.00, 307739-9025 n Portrait Drawing Club 9:00am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $10.00, 307-733-6379 n Yoga 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307739-9025 n MC Presents Art & Antique Show 10:00am, Teton Village, Free, n Historic Miller Ranch Tour 10:00am, National Elk Refuge, Free, 307-7339212 n Intuitive Guidance with Ellae Elinwood 10:00am, Spirit Books Gifts Life, $125.00, 307733-3382 n Jackson Hole Art Fair -- 50th Anniversary 10:00am, Miller Park, $5.00, 307-733-6379 n Festival Orchestra: Open Rehearsal 10:00am, Walk Festival Hall, $10.00, 307-7331128 n Workshop: Yoga & Writing with Cassandra Lee 10:30am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307-733-2164 n Zumba 12:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307739-9025 n Total Fitness 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307739-9025 n Murie Center Ranch Tour 2:30pm, Murie Center, Free, 307-739-2246 n Star Wars Festival: “Revenge of the Sith” 3:00pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307-733-2164 n Electronics/Tech 3:30pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208787-2201 n Free Friday Tasting 4:00pm, Jackson Whole Grocer, Free, 307-7330450 n Covered Wagon Cookout 4:15pm, Bar T 5, $37.00 - $45.00, 307-733-5386 n Whiskey Mornin’ Duo 4:30pm, The Deck at Piste, Free, 307-733-2292 n Alive@5: Wild Things of Wyoming 5:00pm, Teton Village Commons, Free, 307-7335898 n Friday Night Bikes 5:00pm, Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, $10.00, 307-733-2292 n Bar J Chuckwagon Supper 5:30pm, Bar J, $25.00 - $35.00, 307-733-3370 n Covered Wagon Cookout 5:30pm, Bar T 5, $37.00 - $45.00, 307-733-5386 n Ladies Allride Bike Camp with Lindsey Voreis 5:30pm, Grand Targhee Resort, $350.00, 307353-2300

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 20

Bellwether of Change Stand-up comedian blazes new paths towards cultural understanding.

BY MEG DALY

I

t may be his first trip to Wyoming, but W. Kamau Bell has already seen wilder and more remote.

Progressive political comedian Bell brings his stand-up show The W. Kamau Bell Curve: Ending Racism in About an Hour to the Center Theater Tuesday, July 12.

For his current series on CNN, United Shades of America, Bell travels to Barrow, Alaska, the northernmost city in the United States. According to Bell, the concept for United Shades of America is “The black guy who goes where he is not supposed to go.”

“That guy is me,” Bell told The Planet.

Surprisingly, Barrow turns out to be a racially diverse place. Drawn by good pay for work on oil rigs, workers of 20 different races have gravitated to Barrow in recent years.

Bell comes away seeing Barrow as a role model for communities in America.

“There is a sense of community in Barrow that is unrivaled by any other community I’ve seen in America,” Bell says in a trailer for the show. “If we really connected to Barrow instead of treating Alaska like it’s some weird American step-child we would all have better communities throughout this country.”

But it starts with comedy. Bell says he uses comedy to start a conversation in each United Shades episode about race and to delve into how our differences unite and divide us. He travels to gentrification central: Portland,

W. Kamau Bell is ‘the black guy who goes where he is not supposed to go.’

Oregon. He visits retirees in Florida, goes to a maximum-security prison, and in the show’s first episode, Bell takes a trip to the Deep South to hang with the KKK. That gives you an idea of both the courage and the fundamental humanity Bell embodies. The New Yorker called Bell’s gimmick “intersectional progressivism: he treats racial, gay, and women’s issues as inseparable.” (His late night show, Totally Biased, was nominated for both an NAACP Image Award and a GLAAD Award.) The New York Times called him “the most promising new talent in political comedy in many years.”

Bell told The Planet that he always wanted to be a comedian. “Since I found out you couldn’t be a superhero,” he clarified. He lives in Berkeley, Calif., with his wife and their five-year-old daughter.

Bell’s one-hour stand-up special, SemiProminent Negro, premiered on Showtime in April. His many creative projects include hosting the podcast Denzel Washington is The Greatest Actor of All Time Period on Earwolf. (By the way, yes he means that.)

Bell says Bell Curve is about “starting a new conversation” that doesn’t begin with “I’m not racist, but…”

“Racism is real and you need to see that you’re a part of it,” Bell said. “Awkward conversations can lead to new understanding.”

He says some of the best comments he has overheard after a show came from two white people walking out of the theater together.

“That was the best comedy show,” one said.

“That was the worst comedy show,” the other replied.

“The entirety of my work is about ‘your experience is just your experience,’” Bell said.

Despite his large stature—he’s 6 six feet, four inches—Bell has a disarming presence.

Maybe it’s Berkeley rubbing off on him but he looks like your favorite cool uncle, or that professor you loved in college who refused to ever wear a tie.

He keeps his cool on the outside, but he says of course it can be infuriating encountering racism in his travels.

“I think that comedy helps blunt the anger,” Bell said. “Breaking it down into jokes helps you digest the anger.”

Bell starts with the premise that anger isn’t bad. He quotes one of his favorite bands, Rage Against the Machine: “Anger is a gift.”

“Anger is fuel that gets people out of bed,” Bell said.

He has a similar welcoming attitude toward the emotion of shame. “White people, what’s wrong with shame?” he asked. “It’s the beginning of trying to make it better.”

He tells a story of when his daughter recently did something wrong and felt shame about it. Instead of trying to brush away her bad feeling, Bell let her sit with it for a bit.

He told her the feeling of shame was what was letting her know she didn’t want to do it again.

“Shame has helped me correct a lot of mistakes in my life,” Bell continued.

Bell says he is looking forward to performing in Jackson. “I hear that famous people live there,” he said.

The fact that the state’s African American populations hovers somewhere around 1.4 percent doesn’t trouble him.

“No matter where I travel, there are people who come up to me and say, ‘Thank God you’re here,’” he said. “It’s always fun to go places and find like-minded people.”

But you don’t have to be like-minded to attend his show. In fact, Bell encouraged people to “bring a Trump supporter.”

“We will have a good time,” he laughed.

PJH

The W. Kamau Bell Curve: Ending Racism in About an Hour happens 8 p.m Tuesday, July 12 at the Center for the Arts. Tickets start at $39. Jhcenterforthearts.org; 733-4900.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

JULY 6, 2016 | 19

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

20 | JULY 6, 2016

SATURDAY, JULY 9

n Star Valley Half Marathon 7:00am, Star Valley, $55.00 n Fitness & Dance Classes All Day! 7:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n JH Farmers Market 8:00am, Town Square, Free, 307-413-6323 n American Indian Guest Artist 8:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free, 307-7393594 n REFIT® 9:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $20.00, 307-733-6398 n Ladies Allride Bike Camp with Lindsey Voreis 9:00am, Grand Targhee Resort, $350.00, 307353-2300 n MC Presents Art & Antique Show 10:00am, Teton Village, Free, n Historic Miller Ranch Tour 10:00am, National Elk Refuge, Free, 307-7339212 n Intuitive Guidance with Ellae Elinwood 10:00am, Spirit Books Gifts Life, $125.00, 307733-3382

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 22

GET OUT Mountain Medicine A young urban dweller confronts her fears at high altitude.

CITY KIDS/RANDY LUSKY

n Friday Night Meditation 6:00pm, Zendler Chiropractic, Free, 307-6998300 n Whiskey Experience 6:00pm, VOM FASS Jackson Hole, Free, 307-7341535 n JH Shootout 6:00pm, Town Square, Free, 307-733-3316 n Byron’s Guitar at Jenny Lake Lodge 6:00pm, Jenny Lake Lodge, Free, 307-733-4647 n Papa Chan and Johnny C Note 6:00pm, Teton Pines Country Club, Free, 307413-1348 n The Ballad of Cat Ballou 6:30pm, JH Playhouse, $35.00 - $65.00, 307733-6994 n Shabbat and Cowboy Cookout 6:30pm, Journeys School Campus, Free, 307734-1999 n Pam Drews Phillips Plays Jazz 7:00pm, The Granary at Spring Creek Ranch, Free, 307-733-8833 n Thin Air Shakespeare - Taming of the Shrew 7:30pm, The Center Ampitheater at the Center for the Arts, Free, 307-733-3021 n Ian McFeron Band 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-7323939 n JH Rodeo 8:00pm, Fairgrounds, $15.00 - $35.00, 307-7337927 n Festival Orchestra: A Joyous Opening 8:00pm, Walk Festival Hall, $25.00 - $55.00, 307-733-1128 n 86ers 9:00pm, Mangy Moose, $7.00, 307-733-2292 n Most Wanted Band 9:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, $5.00, 307733-2207 n Quenby & the West of Wayland Band 9:30pm, Virginian Saloon, 307-739-9891 n Free Public Stargazing 9:30pm, Rendezvous Park, Free, 307-413-4779 n Friday Night DJ with DJ Therapy 10:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307-733-1500 n One Leaf Clover 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-7333886

BY LILIANA CAMPOS A few weeks ago The Planet hosted a high school student from Washington, D.C., considering a career in journalism. Liliana Campos has been visiting Jackson each summer since 2011 thanks to City Kids, a nonprofit that brings low income, at-risk students to Jackson to spend time outdoors and participate in character building activities and experiential education. “If it wasn’t for this program,” Campos told me, “I could have ended up like a lot of the kids I know who are now in jail, or are no longer with us.”

The following is an assignment I tasked Campos with that details her experience climbing the Grand Teton last summer. Swiftly tapping away at the keyboard, Campos crafted this piece with surprising speed. But what was more surprising was reading this young pupil’s work. At the age of 17, she possesses a voice that many writers struggle for years to develop. Campos’ promising future is in part a testament to the power of City Kids’ mentorship, that adults have taken the time to guide Campos toward a path where she can explore and cultivate her passions. Let us not underestimate the impact we can each have on a young person’s life as a mentor, confidant or advocate. It is one way we to effect change in an increasingly volatile world.

- Robyn Vincent, editor

A

s I sat there with tears in my eyes I couldn’t find anything to say to my teammates, people who were now my family. We had made it so far but I was ready to retrace every grueling step back down.

I didn’t know how to look them in the eye and tell them I was giving up; how could I tell Robert who twisted his ankle that I was giving up? Danielle who fainted twice that I was giving up? Chauncey who has been waiting to do this for two years, that I was giving up? When I finally managed to look up, one of them broke the silence: “Lily come on you can do this, we all believe in you, but you gotta walk.”

And that was all it took, an affirmation of support, to get me going up the Grand Teton.

Training began three days before the actual climb, and during those three days we became familiar with our gear and multipitch climbing. Thanks to the nonprofit, City Kids, which brings students from Washington DC to Jackson to experience the outdoors, we had the necessary gear; Exum Mountain Guides showed us the ropes.

The first day was smooth, the skies were clear and everyone felt good about the climb

Liliana Campos (left), and her peers on their way to conquer the Grand Teton. and training. But over the next two days things would unravel. The second day of training was focused on actual climbing and trusting our new climbing shoes. We would climb all the way to the top of our practice route in sets and rappel back down, a mini version of our impending task on the Grand. To say things went wrong that day is an understatement.

Halfway up the practice climb, I gazed up at my teammate Danielle as a distant look registered in her eyes. Her face resembled that of a person in shock. I watched as she fell forward over us. What I felt as I watched her fall was a fear I had never felt before.

While the ledge we were on was quite possibly one of the sketchiest I’ve been on, we were thankfully securely tied in. But this security did nothing to ease my fear, because her eyes were wide open and she was unresponsive for the longest two seconds of my entire life. It was only when she started to become aware of her surroundings that I could breathe again.

Despite our refusal, our guide determined that she could still complete the climb. So we completed the climb and repelled back down safely, but none of us saw what came next.

As we made our way down the boulders my teammate Robert took a wrong step, twisting his ankle and injuring his knee. Our guide had to carry him down.

That night we discussed whether he was up for the climb or if an alternate would take his place. It was a difficult discussion—the alternate was now apprehensive about his involvement in the climb. Our team was slowly falling apart even before we climbed. But none of us were backing down.

On the day of our ascent I stood there, the angriest I had ever been. The gear that I had so meticulously selected was gone, all of it. I would not climb that mountain without my gear. I refused. After informing both my supervisor and the guides, one guide offered up his own gear to me and my supervisor brought extra gear to the starting point. But I didn’t have the rain jacket I had spent two hours looking for, or the last pair of rain pants I had managed to get, or even the extra soft fleece that felt like angel wings.

While I don’t consider myself an unfit person, I’m not exactly climbing mountains every third Tuesday. The Grand Teton was like a backpacking trip on steroids. There was a straight seven miles of everything from switchbacks to maddeningly steep sections.

My legs had been set on fire then thrown in

acid, and my heart was beating faster than it should have been. I was tired and the trail seemed to have no end, every three seconds I would stop to take a break and drink some water. Those were the most taxing six hours of my life and I hated everyone I saw. In my head I was having conversations with myself trying to figure out who I had hurt so much in a previous life to deserve this.

I’m not sure what time we finally got to the lower saddle where our camp was, but that was the happiest moment of my life. I could now sit for more than 10 seconds and I could finally eat something wholesome and nutritious: ramen. We went to bed as soon as the sun set since we had to wake up at 2 am to complete our mission. Waking up this early is completely unacceptable for any human.

It’s downright unjust, but the laws of justice did not apply on the Grand. So we drank our coffee, ate our noodles and set out.

For some, darkness can be terrifying as our minds go haywire thinking about what could be lurking in the shadows. But the darkness of an early morning mountain is a different type of scary. The only things you could see were what your headlamp illuminated, other than that the rest was speculation. Since I had been the slowest the previous day, the guides decided to put me in the front to keep the pace. At high altitude the oxygen gets thinner and for someone who lives in Washington, D.C., that really sent me reeling mentally and physically. My lungs were on fire and I started to panic, I was going through a vicious cycle within my body and mind. Things got so bad that I caved, completely stopped and refused to move.

So there I was, sitting on a rock with six headlamps all aimed at me and my face turned away in shame and fear; I couldn’t let them see my eyes tearing up.

It took lots of encouragement to get up there, determination, and maybe even a guilt trip or two, but we made it. There we stood, the first City Kids team to have all of its members summit. As my friends took pictures and basked in the glory of our summit, I sat there and smiled to myself. I had been so close to missing out on this, to spending the rest of my life looking at the pictures of my team up here without me, but my new family had supported me and here I was enjoying it with them.

I enjoyed a snow blizzard on our way back down the mountain, but at least I was with family. PJH

SATURDAY & SUNDAY BRUNCH 10:30am - 3:00pm Bottomless Mimosas & Bloody Marys $15

HAPPY HOUR

1/2 Off Drinks Daily 5-7pm

•••••••••••

Monday-Saturday 11am, Sunday 10:30am 832 W. Broadway (inside Plaza Liquors)•733-7901

OLLOW US ON FACEBOOK FOR THE LATEST PLANET HAPPENINGS! @

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

JULY 6, 2016 | 21

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

22 | JULY 6, 2016

SUNDAY, JULY 10

n American Indian Guest Artist 8:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free, 307-7393594 n Ladies Allride Bike Camp with Lindsey Voreis 9:00am, Grand Targhee Resort, $350.00, 307353-2300 n MC Presents Art & Antique Show 10:00am, Teton Village, Free n Historic Miller Ranch Tour 10:00am, National Elk Refuge, Free, 307-7339212 n Jackson Hole Art Fair -- 50th Anniversary 10:00am, Miller Park, $5.00, 307-733-6379 n Cissy Patterson Western Heritage Festival & Ice Cream Social 4:00pm, JH Historical Society & Museum, Free, 307-733-2414 n Whiskey Mornin’ Duo 4:30pm, The Deck at Piste, Free, 307-733-2292 n Sunday Summer BBQ 5:00pm, Q Roadhouse & Brewing Co., Free, 307-739-0700 n Bar J Chuckwagon Supper 5:30pm, Bar J, $25.00 - $35.00, 307-733-3370

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 23

CREATIVE PEAKS Punk Rebels in Love Off Square Theatre to stage a 1980s version of Taming of the Shrew.

BY MEG DALY

T

is the season of The Taming of the Shrew. Which is a strange thing to say considering Shakespeare’s second play is one of his prickliest, and most unpalatable, some say.

In June, Hogarth Press issued a retelling of the play in novel form, Vinegar Hill by Anne Tyler. Also in June, The Public Theater in New York City produced and all-female version of the play in Central Park, directed by the award-winning director Julie Taymor.

And now, Off Square Theatre offers a contemporary Taming as its annual free Thin Air Shakespeare production. The show will run two consecutive weekends, July 8 to 10 and July 15 to 17.

“Our version is set in the early 1980s,” said Natalia Duncan, Off Square’s artistic director. “Katherina and Petruccio are punk rock rebels. They are both outsiders from the rest of the world.”

Macker plays Katherina, or Kate a.k.a. the shrew. She’s the independent-minded, willful sister of Bianca. All the dudes in town are after Bianca—she’s pretty and her dad’s wealthy. But first someone has to marry the elder sister, Kate. Petruccio is pushed into the role of Kate’s suitor. Then all manner of surprises ensue.

Taming is known for its misogynistic view of women as property. It’s also known as a screwball comedy where characters disguise themselves as other characters, and perhaps nobody is exactly who he or she seems to be.

“There are a lot of masters and servants pretending to be someone else,” Macker said.

“It’s fun for the audience because they are let in on the joke.”

Macker spearheaded Thin Air Shakespeare four years ago. She said the intention is to have fun, keep the spirit of Shakespeare alive, and help audiences connect with the plays.

“The reason Shakespeare has been popular for the last 400 years is because of timelessness of characters and humanity in the plays,” she said.

Humanity toward women may be in question in Taming. Guest director Edgar Landa says this is the challenge and fun of producing the play today.

CLARE PAYNE SYMMONS

n Habitat ReStore Donation Collections 10:00am, Grand Teton Plaza, Free, 307-734-0828 n Jackson Hole Art Fair -- 50th Anniversary 10:00am, Miller Park, $5.00, 307-733-6379 n Information Session for Habitat’s Housing Program 10:30am, Thayne Library, Free, 307-734-0828 n Wild West Skateboard Contest Series 1:30pm, Riverton, WY Skatepark, 307-733-6433 n Pre-Symphony Buffet 4:00pm, Alpenhof, 307-733-3242 n Covered Wagon Cookout 4:15pm, Bar T 5, $37.00 - $45.00, 307-733-5386 n Bar J Chuckwagon Supper 5:30pm, Bar J, $25.00 - $35.00, 307-733-3370 n Covered Wagon Cookout 5:30pm, Bar T 5, $37.00 - $45.00, 307-733-5386 n Whiskey Experience 6:00pm, VOM FASS Jackson Hole, Free, 307-7341535 n JH Shootout 6:00pm, Town Square, Free, 307-733-3316 n Festival Orchestra: A Joyous Opening 6:00pm, Walk Festival Hall, $25.00 - $55.00, 307-733-1128 n The Ballad of Cat Ballou 6:30pm, JH Playhouse, $35.00 - $65.00, 307733-6994 n Thin Air Shakespeare - Taming of the Shrew 7:30pm, The Center Ampitheater at the Center for the Arts, Free, 307-733-3021 n Ian McFeron Band 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-7323939 n JH Rodeo 8:00pm, Fairgrounds, $15.00 - $35.00, 307-7337927, n Blitzen Trapper 9:00pm, Pink Garter Theatre, $16.00 - $18.00, 307-733-1500 n Most Wanted Band 9:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, $5.00, 307733-2207 n Quenby & the West of Wayland Band 9:30pm, Virginian Saloon, 307-739-9891 n DJ N8 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-7333886

Guest artists Arthur Keng and Joseph O’Malley in rehearsal for The Taming of the Shrew.

“The play was written in a certain time and cultural context that we are viewing through our modern prism,” Landa said.

“How Shakespeare meant it is up for grabs.”

Landa knows his Shakespeare. He lives in Los Angeles and works as an actor, director and fight choreographer. He directed last summer’s Thin Air Shakespeare production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. He currently serves on the faculty of the USC School of Dramatic Arts and is a long-time member of Shakespeare & Company in Lenox, MA. Rather than interpreting Kate as shrewlike, Landa chose to capitalize on her independent nature. “In our version of Taming of the Shrew, Kate just doesn’t want to be told what to do,” Landa said. “Hopefully we created a world so that’s evident.”

Macker says the physical comedy gives her character some levity. “I get to beat some people up and that’s pretty fun,” she said.

Both Macker and Landa agree that the famous last speech of the play is the most troublesome to work with. Kate gets the last word in the play, but her words are of subservience: “Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper, Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee And for thy maintenance; commits his body…”

“We can’t change the last speech, which is the most problematic of all,” Landa acknowledged. “We are trying to keep the words as they are and let the emotions in the words

be there.”

Part of why her speech may make some uncomfortable, Macker explained, “is because, as much as we want things she says not to be true, some of the things are still true.”

Julie Taymor told The New York Times something similar when discussing her production in New York. “It’s good that we show it, and talk about it. A loudmouth woman with a strong opinion is still considered a shrew in our society.”

Landa says that Kate and Petruccio end up seeing eye to eye. Exactly how that plays out you’ll need to bring a picnic dinner to the Center this weekend to find out.

In addition to Macker, local performers include Scott Willis, Kelsey Johnson, Josh Griffith, Rosie McNamara, Brian Van Hatten, Ruth Ann Petroff, and Ray Fink. Guest artists include Arthur Keng, Joseph O’Malley, Michael Evans Lopez, Tim Venable, Charls Hall as well as Landa, assistant director Maria Pasquarelli, and scenic designer Maureen Weiss. PJH

Off Square Theatre Company, Thin Air Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew, July 8-10 and 15-17. The Center Amphitheater.

Free. Picnicking begins at 6:30 p.m. Thin Air Shakespeare 7:30 p.m. www.offsquare.org

n Stagecoach Band 6:00pm, Stagecoach, Free, 307733-4407 n Thin Air Shakespeare Taming of the Shrew 7:30pm, The Center Ampitheater at the Center for the Arts, Free, 307-733-3021 n Most Wanted Band 9:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, $5.00, 307-733-2207 n Hip Hop Nation Open Mic 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-733-3886

MONDAY, JULY 11

TUESDAY, JULY 12

FOR COMPLETE EVENT DETAILS VISIT PJHCALENDAR.COM

JULY 6, 2016 | 23

n Fitness & Dance Classes All Day! 7:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Coffee with a Ranger 7:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free, 307-739-3594 n American Indian Guest Artist 8:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free, 307-739-3594 n If These Walls Could Talk: Successfully Creating and Using Oral Histories in the Preservation of Traditional Resources 8:00am, Western Center for Historic Preservation, Free, 307733-2414 n REFIT® 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $20.00, 307-733-6398 n Yoga 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Teton Plein Air Painters 9:00am, Outside, Free, 307733-6379 n Historic Miller Ranch Tour 10:00am, National Elk Refuge, Free, 307-733-9212 n Toddler Time 10:05am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Walking Tour of Jackson 10:30am, Center of Town Square, Free, 307-733-2141 n Spin 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Summer Reading 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Summer of Code 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Teton Raptor Center: Meet Live Raptors 2:00pm, Teton County Library Children’s Garden, Free, 307733-2164 n Murie Center Ranch Tour 2:30pm, Murie Center, Free, 307-739-2246 n Writer 3:30pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201

n Covered Wagon Cookout 4:15pm, Bar T 5, $37.00 $45.00, 307-733-5386 n Zumba 4:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Brian Maw Band 4:30pm, The Deck at Piste, Free, 307-733-2292 n Alive@5: Second Nature 5:00pm, Teton Village Commons, Free, 307-733-5898 n REFIT® 5:15pm, First Baptist Church, Free, 307-690-6539 n Bar J Chuckwagon Supper 5:30pm, Bar J, $25.00 - $35.00, 307-733-3370 n Covered Wagon Cookout 5:30pm, Bar T 5, $37.00 $45.00, 307-733-5386 n Total Fitness 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Bo DePeña 6:00pm, Snake River Brewery n Language Exchange 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Driggs, Free, 208-354-5522 n Summer Speaker Series 6:00pm, Teton County Library, Free, 307-733-9417 n JH Shootout 6:00pm, Town Square, Free, 307-733-3316 n Town Pump Bouldering Series 6:00pm, Teton Boulder Park n Beginning Throwing 6:00pm, Center for the Arts, $195.00 - $234.00, 307-7336379 n Teton Trail Runners 6:00pm, Location Varies - Check Schedule, Free, n Byron’s Guitar at Jenny Lake Lodge 6:00pm, Jenny Lake Lodge, Free, 307-733-4647 n Summer Speaker Series 6:00pm, Teton County Library, Free, 307-733-9417 n The Ballad of Cat Ballou 6:30pm, JH Playhouse, $35.00 $65.00, 307-733-6994 n Inside the Music: Bohemian Brotherhood 7:00pm, Walk Festival Hall, Free, 307-733-1128 n Bluegrass Tuesdays featuring One Ton Pig 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n Stackhouse 8:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n The Center Presents The W. Kamau Bell Curve: Ending Racism in About an Hour 8:00pm, Center for the Arts, $35.00 - $59.00, 307-733-4900 n Most Wanted Band 9:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, $5.00, 307-733-2207 n Ginstrings 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-733-3886

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n Fitness & Dance Classes All Day! 7:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Coffee with a Ranger 7:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free, 307-739-3594 n Yoga 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n American Indian Guest Artist 8:00am, Colter Bay Visitor Center, Free, 307-739-3594 n Toddler Gym 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, 307-739-9025 n Pottery for Preschoolers 9:30am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $100.00, 307733-6379 n Historic Miller Ranch Tour 10:00am, National Elk Refuge, Free, 307-733-9212 n Kinderclay 11:00am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $100.00, 307733-6379 n Total Fitness 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Murie Center Ranch Tour 2:30pm, Murie Center, Free, 307-739-2246 n Maker Monday’s 3:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library Victor, Free, 208-787-2201 n Covered Wagon Cookout 4:15pm, Bar T 5, $37.00 $45.00, 307-733-5386 n Bar J Chuckwagon Supper 5:30pm, Bar J, $25.00 - $35.00, 307-733-3370 n Covered Wagon Cookout 5:30pm, Bar T 5, $37.00 $45.00, 307-733-5386 n Etching 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackosn Hole, $180.00, 307733-6379 n JH Shootout 6:00pm, Town Square, Free, 307-733-3316 n Hootenanny 6:00pm, Dornan’s, Free, 307733-2415

n An Evening with Jackson Hole Grizzly 399 featuring Tom Mangelsen & Todd Wilkinson 6:00pm, Teton County Library, Free, 307-733-2164 n The Ballad of Cat Ballou 6:30pm, JH Playhouse, $35.00 $65.00, 307-733-6994 n David Cattani Duo 7:00pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n Most Wanted Band 9:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, $5.00, 307-733-2207

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

24 | JULY 6, 2016

BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

A Chile Summer Experience the worldclass wines of Viña Montes.

BY TED SCHEFFLER @critic1

I

f you enjoy wine regularly, then you probably already know there are bargains to be found at wine stores in the South American wine section—especially those from Chile and Argentina. But just like wines from other parts of the world, they vary greatly in quality.

One of my favorite South American producers is Chile’s Viña Montes. Since the adoption of the country’s first appellation control system in 1985, wine quality has steadily improved. And this winery has been at the forefront of the movement toward dependable, high quality Chilean wines since its founding by industry veterans Aurelio Montes Sr. and the late Douglas Murray, in 1987. The following year, partners

Alfredo Vidaurre and Pedro Grand brought their expertise to the enterprise. Since that time, Viña Montes has grown tremendously, and the brand can now be found in more than 100 countries worldwide.

Starting with the creation of Viña Montes Alpha Cabernet Sauvignon ($22.95), the winery expanded its production to include a wide array of wines through the years. They range from carmenère and malbec to pinot noir, merlot, syrah, chardonnay, sauvignon blanc, late harvest wines, rosé, sparkling wines and beyond.

The winery’s lineup starts with its Classic series—wines that are considered to be Montes “true ambassadors” by the winemakers. They are good values that are ripe and ready for everyday drinking, sourced from vineyards with larger yields than those used to produce their higher level Montes Alpha series. A step up from the Alpha wines is the Icons series: wines of exceptional character and age-worthy, such as Montes Alpha M ($100), Montes Folly ($70) and a wine I love but don’t get to drink often enough: Purple Angel ($78), a big and bold super-carmenère.

If you’re really flush, you might want to try Montes Taita, which sells for around $300 per bottle, depending upon the vintage. This is Montes’ super-premium Bordeaux-style blend. In a 2013 review, The Daily Meal’s wine writer Roger Morris said, “To taste the 2007 Taita is like pulling the cork on an elegant, yet

IMBIBE assertive, cru classé Médoc, perhaps even a first growth from Pauillac or St-Éstephe.” That’s quite some praise. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t know, since my wine budget doesn’t often allow me to sip such expensive varieties.

There’s good news, though. You don’t have to spend $300—or even $30— to try a well-crafted bottle from this winery. Montes Classic Sauvignon Blanc ($12.95) is a deliciously ripe, fresh and crisp summer wine brimming with tropical fruit and grassy/grapefruit notes.

I also enjoy Montes Classic Chardonnay ($12.95), which is fermented in both oak and stainless steel barrels, half of which undergoes malolactic fermentation. For a few more bucks, however, you can step up into a wine that I sip on a regular basis, in part because it’s such a great value: Montes Alpha Chardonnay ($20.94).

Full-bodied and creamy, and aged in French oak, the 1998 vintage was selected as “World Champion Chardonnay” by

Slow Food Italy. I’ve tricked friends into thinking they were drinking French white burgundy when I’ve poured blind tastes in the past.

I recently sampled early releases of what Viña Montes calls their “Spring Trinity” wines. Montes Cherub 2016 ($16) is a fun, nearly neon pink rosé made of syrah (83 percent) and grenache (17 percent). It’s a terrific picnic wine, versatile enough to pair with foods ranging from sushi to paella.

Montes Twins 2014 ($16) is a red blend combining cabernet sauvignon, tempranillo, syrah and carmenère that would fit in well with any backyard barbecue and pair well with grilled meats and poultry.

So if the summer heat’s got you down, turn to Chile. PJH

Love Local

FOR THE

OF

Trio is located just off the town square in downtown Jackson, and is owned & operated by local chefs with a passion for good food.

Our menu features contemporary American dishes inspired by classic bistro cuisine. Daily specials feature wild game, fish and meats.

Enjoy a glass of wine at the bar in front of the wood-burning oven and watch the chefs perform in the open kitchen.

Dinner Nightly at 5:30pm

Local is a modern American steakhouse and bar located on Jackson’s historic town square.

Serving locally raised beef and, regional game, fresh seafood and seasonally inspired food, Local offers the perfect setting for lunch, drinks or dinner.

Dig in to discounted ad rates for this special edition.

Lunch 11:30am Monday-Saturday Dinner 5:30pm Nightly

45 S. Glenwood

HAPPY HOUR Daily 4-6:00pm

Available for private events & catering

307.201.1717 | LOCALJH.COM ON THE TOWN SQUARE

For reservations please call 734-8038

JULY 20 SUMMER FOODIE EDITION

Contact 307.732.0299 or sales@planetjh.com

Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom and pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves!

ASIAN & CHINESE KIM’S CORNER Korean and American style, from breakfast sandwiches, burgers, chicken tenders, Philly cheese steaks to rice bowls and noodles.

Something for everyone! Open Monday through Saturday, 10:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. At base of Snow King between the ski patrol room and the ice rink. 100 E. Snow King Ave. Take out and Delivery: (307) 200-6544.

TETON THAI

BREAKFAST, LUNCH & DINNER 7:30-9PM

Serving the world’s most exciting cuisine.

Teton Thai offers a splendid array of flavors: sweet, hot, sour, salt and bitter. All balanced and blended perfectly, satisfying the most discriminating palate. Open daily. 7432 Granite Loop Road in Teton Village, (307) 7330022 and in Driggs, (208) 787-8424, tetonthai. com.

THAI ME UP

307.733.3242 | TETON VILLAGE

Home of Melvin Brewing Co. Freshly remodeled offering modern Thai cuisine in a relaxed setting. New tap system with 20 craft beers. New $8 wine list and extensive bottled beer menu. Open daily for dinner at 5pm.

Downtown at 75 East Pearl Street. View our tap list at thaijh.com/brews. 307-733-0005.

cool ways

to PERK

UP

CONTINENTAL ALPENHOF

Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner ••••••••• Open daily at 8am serving breakfast, lunch & dinner.

WWW.TETONLOTUSCAFE.COM

@ SNow King

Cafe

RICE BOWLS NOODLES

Take Out and Delivery 307.200.6544 Mon thru Sat 10:30am - 4:00pm 100 E. Snowking Ave. (between Ski Patrol & Ice Rink)

A Jackson Hole favorite for 38 years. Join us in the charming atmosphere of a historic home. Ask a local about our rack of lamb.

Serving fresh fish, elk, poultry, steaks, and vegetarian entrées. Live acoustic guitar music most nights. Early Bird Special: 20% off entire bill between 5:30-6:0pm, Open nightly at 5:30 p.m. Reservations recommended, walk-ins welcome. 160 N. Millward, (307) 733-3912, bluelionrestaurant.com.

CAFE GENEVIEVE Serving inspired home cooked classics in a historic log cabin. Enjoy brunch daily at 8 a.m., dinner nightly at 5 p.m., and happy hour daily 3-5:30 p.m. featuring $5 glasses of wine, $5 specialty drinks, $3 bottled beer. 135 E. Broadway, (307) 732-1910, genevievejh.com.

1110 W. Broadway • Jackson, WY Open daily 5:00am to midnight • Free Wi-Fi

JULY 6, 20166 | 25

BURGERS

NOW OPEN

THE BLUE LION

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

BYOB

145 N. Glenwood • (307) 734-0882

Serving authentic Swiss cuisine, the Alpenhof features European style breakfast entrées and alpine lunch fare. Dine in the Bistro for a casual meal or join us in the Alpenrose dining room for a relaxed dinner experience. Breakfast 7:30am-10am. Coffee & pastry 10am-11:30am.

Lunch 11:30am-3pm. Aprés 3pm-5:30pm.

Dinner 6pm-9pm. For reservations at the Bistro or Alpenrose, call 307-733-3242.

Napolitana-style Pizza, panini, pasta, salad, beer wine. Order online at PizzeriaCaldera.com

Enjoy all the perks of fine dining, minus the dress code at Eleanor’s, serving rich, saucy dishes in a warm and friendly setting. Eleanor’s is a primo brunch spot on Sunday afternoons. Its bar alone is an attraction, thanks to reasonably priced drinks and a loyal crowd. Come get a belly-full of our two-time gold medal wings. Open at 11 a.m. daily. 832 W. Broadway, (307) 733-7901.

FULL STEAM SUBS The deli that’ll rock your belly. Jackson’s newest sub shop serves steamed subs, reubens, gyros, delicious all beef hot dogs, soups and salads. We offer Chicago style hot dogs done just the way they do in the windy city. Open daily11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Located just a short block north of the Town Square at 180 N. Center Street, (307) 733-3448.

11am - 9:30pm daily 20 W. Broadway 307.201.1472

THE LOCALS

FAVORITE PIZZA 2012, 2013 & 2014 •••••••••

FAMILY FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT

$7

PIZZAS, PASTAS & MORE HOUSEMADE BREAD & DESSERTS FRESH, LOCALLY SOURCED OFFERINGS TAKE OUT AVAILABLE Dining room and bar open nightly at 5:00pm (307) 733-2460 • 2560 Moose Wilson Road • Wilson, WY

A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965

$4 Well Drink Specials

LUNCH

SPECIAL Slice, salad & soda

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

TV Sports Packages and 7 Screens

Under the Pink Garter Theatre (307) 734-PINK • www.pinkygs.com

LOCAL Local, a modern American steakhouse and bar, is located on Jackson’s historic town square.

Our menu features both classic and specialty cuts of locally-ranched meats and wild game alongside fresh seafood, shellfish, house-ground burgers, and seasonally-inspired food. We offer an extensive wine list and an abundance of locally-sourced products. Offering a casual and vibrant bar atmosphere with 12 beers on tap as well as a relaxed dining room, Local is the perfect spot to grab a burger for lunch or to have drinks and dinner with friends. Lunch Mon-Sat 11:30am.

Dinner Nightly 5:30pm. 55 North Cache, (307) 201-1717, localjh.com.

LOTUS CAFE Serving organic, freshly-made world cuisine while catering to all eating styles. Endless organic and natural meat, vegetarian, vegan and glutenfree choices. Offering super smoothies, fresh extracted juices, espresso and tea. Full bar and house-infused botanical spirits. Open daily 8am for breakfast lunch and dinner. 145 N. Glenwood St., (307) 734-0882, tetonlotuscafe.com.

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

20%OFF ENTIRE BILL

Good between 5:30-6pm • Open nightly at 5:30pm

733-3912

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

26 | JULY 6, 2016

ELEANOR’S

160 N. Millward

Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally fresh food at reasonable prices, is a always a fun place to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel right at home and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit. Teton Village, (307) 733-4913, mangymoose.com.

SNAKE RIVER BREWERY & RESTAURANT

Large Specialty Pizza ADD: Wings (8 pc)

Medium Pizza (1 topping) Stuffed Cheesy Bread

the latest happenings in jackson hole

$ 13 99

(307) 733-0330 520 S. Hwy. 89 • Jackson, WY

America’s most award-winning microbrewery is serving lunch and dinner. Take in the atmosphere while enjoying wood-fired pizzas, pastas, burgers, sandwiches, soups, salads and desserts. $9 lunch menu. Happy hour 4 to 6 p.m., including tasty hot wings. The freshest beer in the valley, right from the source! Free WiFi. Open 11:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. 265 S. Millward. (307) 739-2337, snakeriverbrewing.com.

SWEETWATER

for an extra $5.99/each

pjhcalendar.com

TRIO Owned and operated by Chefs with a passion for good food, Trio is located right off the Town square in downtown Jackson. Featuring a variety of cuisines in a relaxed atmosphere, Trio is famous for its wood-oven pizzas, specialty cocktails and waffle fries with bleu cheese fondue. Dinner nightly at 5:30 p.m. Reservations.

(307) 734-8038 or bistrotrio.com.

ITALIAN CALICO A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965, the Calico continues to be one of the most popular restaurants in the Valley. The Calico offers the right combination of really good food, (much of which is grown in our own gardens in the summer), friendly staff; a reasonably priced menu and a large selection of wine. Our bar scene is eclectic with a welcoming vibe. Open nightly at 5 p.m. 2560 Moose Wilson Rd., (307) 733-2460.

MEXICAN EL ABUELITO Serving authentic Mexican cuisine and appetizers in a unique Mexican atmosphere. Home of the original Jumbo Margarita. Featuring a full bar with a large selection of authentic Mexican beers. Lunch served weekdays 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Nightly dinner specials. Open seven days, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. 385 W. Broadway, (307) 733-1207.

PIZZA DOMINO’S PIZZA Hot and delicious delivered to your door. Handtossed, deep dish, crunchy thin, Brooklyn style and artisan pizzas; bread bowl pastas, and oven baked sandwiches; chicken wings, cheesy breads and desserts. Delivery. 520 S. Hwy. 89 in Kmart Plaza, (307) 733-0330.

MANGY MOOSE

Make your reservation online at bluelionrestaurant.com

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potato-crusted trout, 16 ounce ribeye, vegan and wild game. Reservations welcome. (307) 7333553. sweetwaterjackson.com.

Satisfying locals for lunch and dinner for over 36 years with deliciously affordable comfort food.

Extensive local and regional beer list. Lunch 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. features blackened trout salad, elk melt, wild west chili and vegetarian specialties. Dinner 5:30 to 9 p.m. including

PINKY G’S The locals favorite! Voted Best Pizza in Jackson Hole 2012, 2013 and 2014. Seek out this hidden gem under the Pink Garter Theatre for NY pizza by the slice, salads, stromboli’s, calzones and many appetizers to choose from. Try the $7 ‘Triple S’ lunch special.Happy hours 10 p.m. - 12 a.m. Sun.- Thu. Text PINK to 71441 for discounts.

Delivery and take-out. Open daily 11a.m. to 2 a.m. 50 W. Broadway, (307) 734-PINK.

PIZZERIA CALDERA Jackson Hole’s only dedicated stone-hearth oven pizzeria, serving Napolitana-style pies using the freshest ingredients in traditional and creative combinations. Five local micro-brews on tap, a great selection of red and white wines by the glass and bottle, and one of the best views of the Town Square from our upstairs deck. Daily lunch special includes slice, salad or soup, any two for $8. Happy hour: half off drinks by the glass from 4 - 6 daily. Dine in or carry out. Or order online at PizzeriaCaldera.com, or download our app for iOS or Android. Open from 11am - 9:30pm daily at 20 West Broadway. 307-201-1472.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

JULY 6, 2016 | 27

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

28 | JULY 6, 2016

Them Before Us New discoveries expand our knowledge on the early inhabitants of Earth.

Archaeologists have unearthed remains of an ancient human-like race whose hugely elongated skulls were the result of their genetics, not of any binding to make the skulls long. Most notable are 300 Pre-Incan skulls found in Paracas, Peru. Other examples of these ancient, very long skulls have been found in Bolivia, France, Norway, Malta, Egypt, northern Iraq, Ukraine, Siberia, South Africa, and Vanuatu in Oceana.

Structural differences The Paracas skulls have been carefully examined, and they are not ordinary. The unusual skulls have almost double the content of a human skull. The cranium is at least 25 percent larger and up to 60 percent heavier than regular human beings. Not only are they different in weight and brain capacity, but the Paracas skulls are also structurally different, with only one parietal plate while ordinary humans have two.

Some have an additional suture, which runs diagonally over the forehead. The bone of these skulls is also much thicker and firmer than ours.

Genetic differences Genetic research indicates the mitochondrial DNA of the skulls has mutations unknown in any human, primate, or animal known so far. A geneticist who studied the skulls wrote, “I am not sure it will even fit into the known evolutionary tree.”

Connection to a global indigenous practice The new discoveries reveal an exciting probable origin for the practice found in many indigenous cultures around the world, that bind the heads of their infants to create an elongated skull. The results of binding are not the same as the ancient race of human-like beings. However, perhaps this custom has its roots in the desire to imitate this admired ancient race of human-like beings that had hugely elongated skulls.

Tantalizing questions remain Who were these beings? Did they originate on Earth? Or is it possible they were originally not from here?

Indonesia: Remains of a ‘Hobbit’ race In direct contrast to the race with large and super long skulls, scientists have made another new and spectacular human discovery. They found skeletons of a Hobbit-like species of human that grew no larger than a modern day three-year-old child. Their skulls were the size of a grapefruit.

Australian and Indonesian researchers estimate that the tiny people lived on Flores, an island east of Bali, from about 95,000 years ago until at least 13,000 years ago.

Genetic research confirmed these little humans were their own species and not dwarfs or pygmies. The original skeleton they found stood at just three feet tall, weighed about 55 pounds, and was around 30 years old at the time of her death 18,000 years ago. In the same sediments as the tiny humans there were stone tools and the bones of dwarf elephants, giant rodents, and Komodo dragons, giant 10-foot lizards (descendants of the Komodo dragon still live in that part of the world).

Curious to see photos?

Go for it. Google “photos of the Paracas skulls” and “photos of the ‘Hobbit’ people.” PJH

Carol Mann is a longtime Jackson resident, radio personality, former Grand Targhee Resort owner, author, and clairvoyant.

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I graduated valedictorian from Star Valley High School a few years ago and recently, after several weeks of deep thought, I came up with a foolproof plan to make money! I sit around all day and drink as much beer as I can and then sell the empty cans for 22 to 32 cents a pound in Idaho Falls! It’s like free money. I upped my daily beer drinking to a case-anda-half, and have my wife buy multiple cases at a time at Walmart. Well, after three months I have less money than when I started! My wife is pissed off and threatening to move back in with our parents. What am I doing wrong?

Signed, Considering a career as investment counselor.

Dear Counselor, While the underlining fundamentals of your investment are sound, keep in mind it takes around 33 empty beer cans to make a pound. You are going to have to drink a lot more beer to make this plan work, or maybe

invite friends over to help drink. (Don’t tell them your idea or they will want in on it!)

Here is another trick that will increase your profit even more. I learned it from Blythe Winters-Paulson, vice-president of ethics with Goldman Sachs, for whom I serve as a beer-bellied play toy! Expense the beer to a client, keep the money from recycled aluminum, and charge the client a commission.

Dear Clyde,

My wife and I have the typical investment of Hog Islanders: a savings plan in which we invest a set amount each month in the form of pickup truck payments. Knowing the importance of having a diverse portfolio, I have suggested that we buy more guns for our retirement while she thinks we should buy stocks.

(What can I say, she was raised in Teton Pines and, though swept away by redneck loving, she still has a bit of the Pines in her.) What should I do to convince her?

Signed, Pining away.

Dear Pining,

People from the Pines are naïve when it comes to investing. With them it’s all Wall Street or wine. Since stock investing requires a working knowledge of market theory, commonly known on Wall Street as insider information, I suggest investing in wine. The best deal on wine is Charles Shaw—also known as “Two-Buck Chuck”—at Trader Joe’s. If you don’t mind a little extra work you can gain a premium by having your wife raid your father-in-law’s recycle bins, taking empty bottles of so-called “quality” wine, pouring Two-Buck Chuck into the empty bottles (try to match red to red, white to white) and storing them under your trailer. There, a diverse portfolio! And because of the discounted price of your wine collection there is still money for guns, beer and pickups. PJH

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Events in the coming week may trick your mind and tweak your heart. They might mess with your messiah complex and wreak havoc on your habits. But I bet they will also energize your muses and add melodic magic to your mysteries. They will slow you down in such a way as to speed up your evolution, and spin you in circles with such lyrical grace that you may become delightfully clear-headed.

Will you howl and moan? Probably, but more likely out of poignant joy, not from angst and anguish. Might you be knocked off course? Perhaps, but by a good influence, not a bad one.

technique known as Mythic Gene Engineering, they are able to transplant the planets of your horoscope into different signs and astrological houses from the ones you were born with. Let’s say your natal Jupiter suffers from an uncongenial aspect with your Moon. The psychic surgeons cut and splice according to your specifications, enabling you to be re-coded with the destiny you desire.

Unfortunately, the cost of this pioneering technology is still prohibitive for most people. But here’s the good news, Libra: In the coming months, you will have an unprecedented power to reconfigure your life’s path using other, less expensive, purely natural means.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) In the book A Survival Guide to the Stress of Organizational Change, the authors tell you how to raise your stress levels. Assume that others are responsible for lowering your stress levels, they say. Resolve not to change anything about yourself. Hold on to everything in your life that’s expendable. Fear the future. Get embroiled in trivial battles. Try to win new games as you play by old rules.

Luckily, the authors also offer suggestions on how to reduce your stress. Get good sleep, they advise. Exercise regularly. Don’t drink too much caffeine. Feel lots of gratitude. Clearly define a few strong personal goals, and let go of lesser wishes. Practice forgiveness and optimism.

Talk to yourself with kindness. Got all that, Taurus? It’s an excellent place to start as you formulate your strategy for the second half of 2016.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) In high school I was a good athlete with a promising future as a baseball player. But my aspirations were aborted in sophomore year when the coach banished me from the team. My haircut and wardrobe were too weird, he said. I may have been a skillful shortstop, but my edgy politics made him nervous and mad. At the time I was devastated by his expulsion. Playing baseball was my passion. But in retrospect I was grateful. The coach effectively ended my career as a jock, steering me toward my true callings: poetry and music and astrology. I invite you to identify a comparable twist in your own destiny, Scorpio. What unexpected blessings came your way through a seeming adversary? The time is ripe to lift those blessings to the next level.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Normally I’m skeptical about miraculous elixirs and sudden cures and stupendous breakthroughs. I avoid fantasizing about a “silver bullet” that can simply and rapidly repair an entrenched problem. But I’m setting aside my caution as I evaluate your prospects for the coming months. While I don’t believe that a sweeping transformation is guaranteed, I suspect it’s far more likely than usual.

I suggest you open your mind to it.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) As I gaze into my crystal ball and invoke a vision of your near future, I find you communing with elemental energies that are almost beyond your power to control. But I’m not worried, because I also see that the spirit of fun is keeping you safe and protected. Your playful strength is fully unfurled, ensuring that love always trumps chaos.

This is a dream come true: You have a joyous confidence as you explore and experiment with the Great Unknown, trusting in your fluidic intuition to guide you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) My devoted contingent of private detectives, intelligence agents, and psychic sleuths is constantly wandering the globe gathering data for me to use in creating your horoscopes. In recent days, they have reported that many of you Virgos are seeking expansive visions and mulling long-term decisions. Your tribe seems unusually relaxed about the future, and is eager to be emancipated from shrunken possibilities. Crucial in this wonderful development has been an inclination to stop obsessing on small details and avoid being distracted by transitory concerns. Hallelujah! Keep up the good work. Think BIG! BIGGER! BIGGEST!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) After an Illinois man’s wife whacked him in the neck with a hatchet, he didn’t hold a grudge. Just the opposite.

Speaking from a hospital room while recovering from his life-threatening wound, Thomas Deas testified that he still loved his attacker, and hoped they could reconcile. Is this admirable or pathetic? I’ll go with pathetic. Forgiving one’s allies and loved ones for their mistakes is wise, but allowing and enabling their maliciousness and abuse should be taboo. Keep that standard in mind during the coming weeks, Aquarius. People close to you may engage in behavior that lacks full integrity. Be compassionate but tough-minded in your response.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Can water run uphill? Not usually. But there’s an eccentric magic circulating in your vicinity, and it could generate phenomena that are comparable to water running uphill. I wouldn’t be surprised, either, to see the equivalent of stars coming out in the daytime. Or a mountain moving out of your way. Or the trees whispering an oracle exactly when you need it. Be alert for anomalous blessings, Pisces. They may be so different from what you think is possible that they could be hard to recognize.

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) After years of painstaking research, the psychic surgeons at the Beauty and Truth Lab have finally perfected the art and science of Zodiac Makeovers. Using a patented

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) I love writing horoscopes for you. Your interest in my insights spurs my creativity and makes me smarter. As I search for the inspiration you need next, I have to continually reinvent my approach to finding the truth. The theories I had about your destiny last month may not be applicable this month. My devotion to following your ever-shifting story keeps me enjoyably off-balance, propelling me free of habit and predictability. I’m grateful for your influence on me! Now I suggest that you compose a few thank-you notes similar to the one I’ve written here.

Address them to the people in your life who move you and feed you and transform you the best.

RE - S P Y BU

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) “You can only go halfway into the darkest forest,” says a Chinese proverb. “Then you are coming out the other side.” You will soon reach that midpoint, Leo. You may not recognize how far you have already come, so it’s a good thing I’m here to give you a heads-up. Keep the faith! Now here’s another clue: As you have wandered through the dark forest, you’ve been learning practical lessons that will come in handy during the phase of your journey that will begin after your birthday.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Do you remember that turning point when you came to a fork in the road of your destiny at a moment when your personal power wasn’t strong? And do you recall how you couldn’t muster the potency to make the most courageous choice, but instead headed in the direction that seemed easier? Well, here’s some intriguing news: Your journey has delivered you, via a convoluted route, to a place not too far from that original fork in the road. It’s possible you could return there and revisit the options— which are now more mature and meaningful—with greater authority. Trust your exuberance.

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32 | JULY 6, 2016

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |