Planet JH 11.30.16

JACKSON HOLE’S ALTERNATIVE VOICE | PLANETJH.COM | NOVEMBER 30-DECEMBER 6, 2016

The Tourist Trap How excessive tourism affects beloved places and their inhabitants.

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2 | NOVEMBER 30, 2016

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JACKSON HOLE'S ALTERNATIVE VOICE

VOLUME 14 | ISSUE 47 | NOVEMBER 30-DECEMBER 6, 2016

11 COVER STORY THE TOURIST TRAP How excessive tourism affects beloved places and their inhabitants.

Cover photo illustration by Cait Lee

4-8 THE BUZZ

20 WELL, THAT...

10 THEM ON US

22 CINEMA

16 FREE SPEECH

24 IMBIBE

18 MUSIC BOX

28 COSMIC CAFE

THE PLANET TEAM PUBLISHER

Copperfield Publishing, John Saltas EDITOR

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Chambers, Aaron Davis, Carol Mann, Andrew Munz, David Riedel, Sarah Ross, Ted Scheffler, Chuck Shepherd, Tom Tomorrow, Jim Woodmencey

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November 30-December 6, 2016

By Meteorologist Jim Woodmencey

Jim has been forecasting the weather here for more than 20 years. You can find more Jackson Hole Weather information at www.mountainweather.com SPONSORED BY GRAND TETON FLOOR & WINDOW COVERINGS

While average low temperatures are in the lower teens this week, we may see some days in early December that will dip down below that level. Right now it does not look like any record-breaking temperatures, as it would need to get colder than 32-degrees below zero. That is this week’s record low, set on December 5th, 1972. The 1970’s, as a decade , were really cold, compared to the most recent decade, at least.

On the afternoon of December 1st, 1955 the Town of Jackson was a balmy 55-degrees, in the shade. That is the warmest we have ever been in Jackson during the first week of December. That is not, however, the warmest we have ever been for the whole month of December. It was way back on December 12th, 1921 when Jackson set its record high for the month of 61-degrees. Amazingly, that record has stood for 95 years, and is still our hottest December day ever!

NORMAL HIGH NORMAL LOW RECORD HIGH IN 1995 RECORD LOW IN 1972

34 11 55 -32

THIS MONTH AVERAGE PRECIPITATION: 1.5 inches RECORD PRECIPITATION: 5.9 inches (1964) AVERAGE SNOWFALL: 17 inches RECORD SNOWFALL: 47.5 inches

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NOVEMBER 30, 2016 | 3

Like it or not, December begins this Thursday. December in Jackson Hole is typically cold and snowy, rivaled in each of those categories only by January, which is colder and snowier, on average. Although there have been years when December did not live up to its reputation, there were also those that out-did the averages. December of 1978 was the coldest of all, December of 2008 was the snowiest of all, and December 1964 was the wettest of all.

WHAT’S COOL WHAT’S HOT

THIS WEEK

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JH ALMANAC

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

4 | NOVEMBER 30, 2016

JESSICA SELL CHAMBERS

THE BUZZ

Protectors and Protesters As more folks from Jackson and beyond visit Standing Rock, native people are faced with a new set of concerns.

BY JESSICA SELL CHAMBERS

T

he Dakota Access Pipeline protests have drawn an influx of people near the Standing Rock Reservation in North Dakota, including groups of Jackson residents. For some natives, the steady stream of visitors has stoked apprehension that stretches beyond pipeline construction. According to elder proxies, the flood of non-natives has carried with it a new kind of colonization and gentrification.

During Thanksgiving, known to some native people as the Day of Mourning, the Oceti Sakowin Camp, a historic gathering of the Great Sioux Nation north of Standing Rock, swelled from approximately 5,000 to 7,000 people.

More than half the crowds were comprised of non-natives. Those who come, elders say, are bringing with them outside objectives, expectations, and culture, and “taking more than they leave.” An elusive group of elders has been attempting to guard the sanctity of the camp from the changes brought about by guests. However, not everyone supports the group’s tactics and ideas.

The influx of non-natives is seen by some as the infiltration of white privilege to OSC, or as non-natives wanting

Under the watchful eye of law enforcement, hundreds of water protectors peacefully assemble on Thanksgiving Day in front of Turtle Island, a sacred burial ground for natives. to be part of a native spectacle. Natives fear non-native projections on the camp are sullying its purpose as a “spiritual resistance ceremonial camp.”

Three weeks ago, to address the growing numbers of non-native visitors, which sometimes result in conflict with law enforcement on the front lines, elders implemented an orientation for new people arriving. Held every day at 9 a.m., the orientation is an encouraged practice for all visitors before they take part in any activity at OSC; there is a separate orientation for direct actions on the front lines. The information delivered is determined by the elders and draws a clear distinction between natives and non-natives. In practically all settings, like a form of affirmative action, natives are given the floor first for prayers, questions, trainings, starting with Lakota, Dakota, and Nakota. At the same time participants are reminded there is no hierarchy and all must take care of each other, elders and others in need especially. Participants are left with four guidelines: keep it indigenous centered and directed; build a new legacy not based on co-opting others; be of use; and bring the peace and tactics learned at OSC home to local struggles.

The orientation highlights the process of colonization occurring within the camp as more non-natives arrive and bring different ideas and dominant cultural practices. Lakota customs and traditions are shared, as well as basic etiquette for prayers and asking questions of native elders. Visitors are told: “This is not a festival, not rainbow festival, not Burning Man.” Participants are advised to check their expectations at the gate, to be mindful of the camp’s happenings, and to sit with the discomfort they feel being in a place that does not belong to them. One of the leaders advised: “Do not be

here in the way you expect to be here, but in the way you are asked to be here.”

Often the various practices or ideas people bring to the camp are benign and done with good intentions. Mark Henderson, a Jacksonite who went to OSC in September after water protectors had been attacked by security dogs, admittedly did not know what to expect upon arriving.

When he landed in Bismarck, he went to the nearest outdoor shop and bought rations to donate. However, his dog was not immediately well received. “The natives were on edge about dogs and it probably wasn’t my best move,” he said.

Henderson noticed the impact of various non-governmental organizations asserting agendas within OSC. Many natives told him that this was not their fight, that it was a resistance that “has been going on for hundreds of years against a government who has marginalized us.” He said he was told many times natives do things their own way, slowly.

Hoback resident Chris Christian visited OSC one month ago. “I thought I’d be doing transportation and supplies and that’s what I did. I was elated by being there,” she said.

Christian said she only heard about “protectors” and that anyone who used the term “protester” was misspeaking or corrected themselves. She advised a crew from Jackson traveling to Standing Rock over the holiday break to bring insulation for the winterization efforts.

Orientation attendees were cautioned not to “speak before thinking” or to problem solve for natives. Similar to substituting “All Lives Matter” for “Black Lives Matter,” the usage of “we are all one tribe” was discouraged. Guests were warned not to appropriate native culture. Prayers, songs, dances “are not for the taking.” People are told not

Visitors help buck and split donated wood. People who plan to stay for only a few days are encouraged to work around OCS to help with winterizing activities instead of going to the front lines. camp instead of taking part in direct action, the prayer circles on the front lines. Goodhouse blamed groups he referred to as “foundational warriors,” for “bringing in other causes.” He stressed the need to remain focused on the agenda and protect Standing Rock’s drinking water. “I don’t want to keep it [oil] in the ground, I drove my truck here. We need to remember what we’re fighting here,” he said.

Orientation leaders shared that pipeline construction would very likely continue because the fines imposed were inconsequential relative to the profit gained by the energy companies. Therefore, everyone was encouraged to operate under the framework of Lakota values: prayer, spirituality, respect, compassion, openness, honesty, humility, and wisdom.

On Black Friday the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, who, citing safety concerns and increasingly cold temps, issued an eviction notice for the camp by December 5. In a statement Sunday, the Army Corps clarified it will not forcibly remove anyone but is instead seeking a peaceful and orderly relocation of camp. Those who remain, however, will be trespassing and may be subject to prosecution, the group warned. Standing Rock Sioux Tribal Chair David Archambault II maintains the Army Corps is

making a mistake and vows they will remain. Cheyenne River Sioux Tribal Chairman Harold Frazier called the timing of the eviction letter disrespectful and “continuing the cycle of racism and oppression imposed on our people and our lands throughout history.” Frazier’s letter states that neither he nor the Army Corps has authority over the land or people in question due to boundaries in place from the 1851 Fort Laramie Treaty.

In response to escalated tensions in the area, Reps.

Raúl M. Grijalva (D-AZ) and Jared Huffman (D-CA) called for an immediate sit-down with President Obama, Indian Country Today reported on Monday. They pointed to the events of November 20, when police shot protectors with rubber bullets and icy water in sub-freezing temperatures after protectors attempted to dismantle obstacles to access the pipeline construction site. Later an explosion occurred, The New York Times reported, severely injuring 21-year-old Sophia Wilansky, whose arm may require amputation. Law enforcement accounts, according to The Times, suggest protectors are to blame while demonstrators maintain police were behind the explosion. PJH

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JESSICA SELL CHAMBERS

to take encounters with natives personally but to give some space for difference. Photography was permissible for media only and was restricted. Those who were at OSC for short stays were advised to help within the camp instead of going to the front lines.

Splitting time between Jackson and Bozeman, film student Alyson Spery said upon arriving she had an ethical dilemma similar to when making a documentary.

“What is my story to tell?” she asked herself. Her story, she decided, is about owning her personal experience while recognizing her ancestors’ culpability in genocide and whitewashing history. “I went to Standing Rock to be an ally, but how? How can I show support without overstepping and imposing my values?” she asked. Ultimately Spery says she embraced being “a witness while being forced to acknowledge how I may be getting in the way of what is an indigenous led movement.”

Other non-native visitors interviewed for this story became uncomfortable and avoided questions about how their attendance might affect native culture.

Over Thanksgiving dinner, Jackson residents guiltily discussed their presence at OSC while nested in a warm R.V.—the irony of the conversation and its location was not lost on anyone. The discomfort with the subject matter was palpable. The group ruminated on if it was possible for a white person to feel the experience of a minority. Privilege and dominance is not easily cast aside. Minorities cannot step out of their experience. Mayor-elect Pete Muldoon noted that no matter what, the reality is white people in a place like OSC can always leave and go back home to their “regular” existence.

Although not everyone agreed on issues, natives easily discussed white people at OSC. A 30-something native man from California who manned the information tent in front of the Sacred Fire, Dustin Ilar said, “There’s too much separation built into the orientation. People sacrificed a lot to get here.” When asked how non-natives should comport themselves Ilar said, “Well, I came here knowing I am a visitor in another people’s home. You do what the host asks of you. As a native man, when I asked the elders what was needed I was told, ‘we just need you to pray with us, stand with us.’”

Meanwhile, Cedric Goodhouse, an older native man, was lobbying elders to impose a limit on non-natives. He said there were too many white people wandering around

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

6 | NOVEMBER 30, 2016

THE BUZZ 2 Support Sieve While the state slashes funding, mental health services are more in demand than ever in Teton County.

BY MEG DALY @MegDaly1

HUMAN SERVICE COUNCIL

H

ow to look ahead when forced to cut back? That’s the question county mental health service organizations are asking in the face of continued state budget cuts.

“There is a significant risk of losing these services,” said Sarah Cavallaro, Teton Youth and Family Services operations director.

This year alone, Teton County’s 10 core human service organizations lost a collective total of $750,000, according to Cavallaro.

Teton County has a strong base of human service outfits that address myriad problems, from homelessness and senior issues to addiction, mental health, literacy, domestic violence, education, immigration and more.

They rely on a broad base of financial support, including significant funding from the state. However, the state has begun slashing funds as it tries to balance its own budget.

And more state budget cuts are looming.

The core group of 10 comprise the Human Service Council and include the Children’s Learning Center, CLIMB Wyoming, Community Entry Services, Curran Seeley, Jackson Hole Community Counseling Center, One22, the Senior Center, Teton Literacy Center, and Teton Youth and Family Services.

“When we lose one of these services it impacts us all,” Cavallaro said. “If we all disappeared, you would see more hospitalizations, more jail time, more deaths.”

Cavallaro explained that Wyoming and Teton County operate differently than many places. Rather than the state or county creating departments to provide human services, these services are provided by nonprofits in Teton County.

“We provide these services with a unique public-private partnership where the government provides partial funding and the citizens’ support this model by providing private donations,” Cavallaro said. “This method provides exemplary services at a fraction of the cost to taxpayers.”

The council has begun sounding the alarm about the dire financial forecast they face. Representatives from the council appeared before the board of county commissioners November 14 to provide information and make their case for more robust representation.

“It was a preliminary meeting,” Cavallaro said. “We will be back with a funding request at the first of the year.”

At the meeting with commissioners, the council presented a slideshow documenting the disparity in funding and increasing demand for services. They asked for more representation at county meetings, the opportunity to provide monthly updates, and advocacy at the state level.

Commissioner Smokey Rhea said the presentation was an eye-opener. “It showed as a group what those budget cuts are going to mean to our community,” Rhea said. “It

Historically, state funding has made up almost 40 percent of overall funding for human services in Teton County. This year organizations lost approximately $750K in state funding. certainly resonated with us as a board since our obligation to the community is health and safety.”

The board now recognizes how the dots are connected between human services and other county-related costs, County Commissioner Mark Newcomb said. “If state cuts go too far, as a county we may end up with higher costs.

For example, if we can’t maintain a viable sliding scale for mental health support, we may end up with a higher rate of incarceration or utilization of emergency medical services.” Both of which, he noted, cost more than providing sliding scale counseling.

Both Rhea and Newcomb said they will be examining ways to help fund the county’s basic needs.

Meanwhile an initiative is underway to assess the county’s mental health delivery systems and identify what is working well and where improvement is needed.

Spearheaded by the St. John’s Hospital Foundation, and funded by an anonymous donor, a coalition of partners is looking specifically at mental health. The foundation is currently conducting interviews with key stakeholders and the public to gather information and opinions.

“It’s an opportunity to talk with one another about our community’s core mental health issues,” said John Goettler, director of St. John’s Hospital Foundation. “In Jackson we’ve got some mountain town issues,” he continued. “We don’t have as much family support as we might in other places. There are issues with isolation, long winters, depression and suicide.”

Goettler said St. John’s Hospital is equipped to address a crisis. But it’s what happens on the other side of the crisis that’s a major concern. An increasing number of people need more than simple outpatient counseling, but do not require total hospitalization.

Deidre Ashley is the executive director of the Jackson Hole Community Counseling Center. She calls it “crisis stabilization.” This involves a variety of services for people who are getting back on their feet after a mental health crisis.

“Needs in Jackson are changing,” she said. “What I’m seeing is more people who are at that level—they need

more than just outpatient care but they don’t need true psychiatric inpatient care.”

That appears to be an arena not fully served by the mental health service providers in town. But it’s difficult to get out ahead of an issue when you’re always in survival mode. “Demand is going up but funding is not following it,” Ashey said. “We should be trying to get ahead of it, but instead it’s causing us to be reactive.”

Ashley said her organization suffered a 12 percent cut in state funding, totaling more than $100,000 this year.

“We’ve been attempting to talk to the state about our changing needs and changing community,” she said.

“We serve an increasing commuter community as well as tourists.”

Where the money will come from remains to be seen.

Cavallaro said the Human Service Council will be asking for additional monies from the county, town, and private donors. She hopes with more awareness perhaps more money will flow.

According to Goettler, funding is one of the issues the foundation’s initiative will look at also. First they will complete their survey of professionals and interested parties, then aggregate those results to help paint a clear picture of what’s working and what needs work.

Goettler pointed to strong support from the hospital for this foundation’s initiative.

“Our new CEO, Dr. Paul Beaupré, is of the opinion that we should get around the stigma of mental health issues, and see if we can get Teton County to a place where we have a more well functioning system,” he said.

Meanwhile, Cavallaro noted that the demand for services continues to spike.

“We’ve had a 23 percent increase in the number of people we have served in the past two years,” she said.

“We need a more collaborative solution. Our community services need to get to the same place as dogs, cats and pathways. It’s not always a beautiful thing to talk about, but it will affect everyone if these services go away.” PJH

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Look for our next foodie issue coming December 21st

8 | NOVEMBER 30, 2016

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KATE SCHELBE

THE BUZZ 3

Culture of Acceptance Students tackling social justice send a message to the community.

BY SARAH ROSS

S

ince the beginning of the school year eighth graders at Journeys School have been working on their capstone service project with Parents and Family of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). This partnership is helping to illuminate the myriad struggles young members of the LGBTQ+ community face. The culmination of their work, the LGBTQ+ Pride Party, is 5 p.m. Friday at the Journeys School.

Young people in rural areas across the country crave the visibility and support that events like these can afford.

A recent study in the journal Families and Society included interviews with 34 gender and sexual minority youth in nonmetropolitan areas. The primary desire amongst these young people was a “reduction in isolation.” They also wished for greater “social acceptance and visibility; emotional support and safety; and gender and sexual minority identity development.”

In the past, Journeys students have worked with organizations such as The Doug Coombs Foundation and The Teton Raptor Center. This year, however, the class was compelled to address a social justice issue.

Mary Muromcew and Connor Lang are among the students who planned Friday’s event.

“LGBTQ+ youth need more help [in Jackson],” Muromcew said. As a member of the queer community, Muromcew says that isolation and silence are common experiences for many who “don’t see a hugely visible LGBTQ+ community.” A lack of observable support, Muromcew noted, “can cause people to be very quiet in expressing themselves.” This can compound the experience of solitude.

Lang says that throughout the planning of the event,

Left to right: Students George Gervais, Will Kucera and David Gordon review the flyer they created for the LGBTQ+ Pride Party. he became more cognizant of the lack of awareness around the experiences of young sexual minorities in town. “There isn’t much recognition for young people in this town and even country,” he said. “In places like Jackson, there is a lot of heteronormativity, and a lot of people feel hurt by that and want to see that they are supported and accepted.”

Muromcew defines heteronormativity as the “tacit assumption that everyone is a heterosexual, cisgender person.” This assumption implicitly suggests that to be otherwise is abnormal. Pervasive heteronormativity can “frighten people into silence, and stints the questioning of identity,” Muromcew said.

In Jackson, and other small, rural towns, there is the risk of the “monotone of heteronormativity drowning out the LGTBQ+ voices that speak out,” Muromcew added.

Highlighting those that resist the assumptions of heteronormativity provides space for people who are also gender or sexual minorities, or who are questioning their identities.

Muromcew, Lang, and their classmates “thought that partnering with PFLAG would help shine a light on a group of people that needs more positive attention” and help empower the voices of those who may feel alone.

Most in Jackson are accepting and open, Muromcew said, but they need to be exposed to a community that often goes unseen.

“Celebrating the LGBTQ+ community is important in Jackson, as it is anywhere, to ensure all people are welcomed and accepted for who they are,” said Kate Schelbe, a Spanish teacher and head capstone faculty at Journeys School.

As a long-time coordinator of PFLAG, and advisor for the Gay Straight Alliance at Jackson Hole High School, Mark Houser understands the importance of making sure young people who do not identify as straight or cisgender know their rights and where to go for support. The experience of these young people can be particularly challenging in this community, Houser said, when “it can be difficult to assess where the safe places are in their schools and communities.” Houser believes that events like those planned by Journeys School students can help expand the

base of knowledge around the resources, support, and safe spaces available for LGBTQ+ people in town.

In recent years, there have been advances in the protections for sexual and gender minorities in both the town and state. In 2014 Jackson became the first town in Wyoming to offer protections based on sexual or gender identity to town employees. In addition, Jackson was one of four towns in the state to introduce non-discrimination resolutions in 2015. The Jackson Town Council is considering implementing tenant rights that would ban discrimination based on gender or sexual identity.

But despite shifts in acceptance over the last decade, there is work to be done. “Social justice change comes when our citizenry is informed and energized,” Houser said. An informed citizenry, he noted, can work for greater protections in legislation, and also continue the increased acceptance for LGBTQ+ issues.

Houser says now is an urgent time to continue this work during a time in the country when “the potential of [LGBTQ+] rights being suppressed is a reality.” In regard to the presidential election, Houser says that some youth are afraid they will experience a diminishment of their rights just as they’re stepping into adulthood. This fear is founded. Homophobia seems to have already been emboldened and justified since the election. On the Facebook page of a Wyoming woman, an acquaintance wrote: “If you get killed for being queer it won’t be because of Trump, it will because of the lifestyle you have decided to live...

Hopefully Trump will bring America back to greatness and put you back in the closet where you belong.”

Fear will not quiet Journeys School students, however.

If anything, Muromcew says the election energized the eighth grade class to become more aware of the silence and lack of visibility that the LGBTQ+ community faces, and to work to combat the isolation.

Join Journeys School students 5 p.m. Friday, December 2 to celebrate and learn about the young LGBTQ+ members of Jackson’s community. This free event includes food, drinks, speakers, and a screening of three shorts from the movie Insights: Queer Youth Defining Our Future. PJH

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Future of Travel

NEWS OF THE

Australian aviator David Mayman has promised investors that his personal jet packs will hit the market by mid-2017, though early adopters will pay about $250,000 for one, to fly a person at up to 60 mph for 10 minutes. The JB-10 (developed by Mayman and designer Nelson Tyler) has made about 400 test runs in Monaco and over downtown London and New York City, but the partners realize that ultimate success will require that the fuel tanks be downsized so that the craft can be powered electrically—and thus seek crowdfunding both for that model and a larger one to accommodate the Pentagon’s (Special Operations Command) tactical needs.

WEIRD

The Continuing Crisis

The state agency Colorado Parks and Wildlife filed 21 criminal charges in October against the Squirrel Creek Wildlife Rescue center in Littleton, alleging that some of the orphaned and rehabbing animals Kendall Seifert houses are not being kept according to the state’s strict standards—and that Seifert’s 15-year-old center is also home to his popular swingers’ club (Scarlet Ranch) featuring weekend sex parties. One of the criminal charges suggests that rescue animals could be stressed by gazing at activity in the ranch’s bar area. Seifert said he will challenge the charges out of fear that many of the raccoons, foxes, song birds, coyotes, skunks, rabbits and squirrels he would have to relinquish would not find suitable facilities elsewhere. n In St. Paul, Minn., a 25-year-old woman told police on Nov. 3 that she was involuntarily roughed up several hours after being voluntarily roughed up at Arnellia’s Bar’s weekly “Smack Fest”—in which female patrons competitively slap each other’s faces for three “rounds” under strict house rules. The woman said she spoke amicably with her opponent, but by closing time, the opponent and several friends, including men, punched and kicked her outside the bar. (In other slapping news, a 71-year-old woman died in Lewes, England, in November while participating in a Chinese healing seminar that emphasizes being slapped repeatedly to rid the body of poisoned blood and toxins. The “healer,” Hongshi Xiao, charges clients around $900 to beat what he calls the “sha” out of them.)

The Entrepreneurial Spirit

In a retail market long dominated by priests, “nonsectarian” funeral eulogizers now offer to give individually tailored remembrances of the deceased for a fee, according to an October report by a New York Post reporter who interviewed two local “celebrants,” who cited the declining appeal of “prayers.”

The Way the World Works

Brittany Maynard, then 29, became “the face of the Right to Die movement” in 2014, according to a New York Post column, when she chose a legal physician-assisted suicide rather than awaiting the growth of her terminal brain tumor. In October, terminally ill California mother Stephanie Packer hoped to be “the face of the Right to Live movement” after revealing that her insurance

Medical Marvels

Margaret Boemer’s baby LynLee was “born” twice. In an October Texas Children’s Hospital interview, doctors described how the need to rid Boemer’s fetus of a rapidly growing tumor required them, at Boemer’s 23rd week of pregnancy, to remove the fetus completely from the uterus until it was “hanging out in the air” so that they could cut away the tumor and then reposition the fetus into the uterus. LynLee was “born” again by C-section 13 weeks later.

Suspicions Confirmed

San Francisco State University researchers revealed in April that no fungi or fecal bacteria were found on the seats of the city’s bus line or rapid transit trains (unlike their findings in 2011 before officials adopted easier-to-clean seats), but that a “rare” and “unusual” strain, called Pigmentiphaga was found—previously associated only with South Korean wastewater and the South China Sea. The city’s Department of Health said, of course, not to worry.

Perspective

A high-level policy document released by the Chinese government in September detailed plans to use technology to monitor citizen behavior to such a degree that each person would receive a “social credit” score (similar to a FICO score in the U.S. but covering a range of conduct beyond financial) that would be the basis for allotting perks such as government support in starting businesses and whether parents’ children are eligible for the best schools. “[K]eeping trust is glorious,” according to the document, and “good” behavior promotes a “harmonious socialist society.”

REPORTER

WANTED THE QUALIFIED APPLICANT: • IS PASSIONATE ABOUT NEWS, ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT, LONG-FORM NARRATIVES, AND COMMENTARY • DISTILLS COMPLICATED ISSUES FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION • WRITES WITH CLARITY AND CONTEXT • OBSERVES, LISTENS, AND ASKS THE RIGHT QUESTIONS • DIGS DEEPER TO FIND THE UNTOLD STORY AND THE ALTERNATIVE PERSPECTIVE

Arkansas Chic

Kristi Goss, 43, an assistant to a Garland County (Arkansas) judge, was arrested in October and charged with stealing nearly $200,000 in public funds, which she used to buy such things as a tuxedo for her dog, sequined throw pillows, a “diamond bracelet” (retailing for $128) and, of course, Arkansas Razorback football tickets.

The Aristocrats!

Motorist Kurt Jenkins, 56, was arrested in November in Boynton Beach, Fla., after a pedestrian said Jenkins, naked, motioned him to his car to take a look. The pedestrian said there were children in the area—and also that Jenkins appeared to have wires running from his genitals to an unidentified “electrical device.” n Among a stash of pornography found recently on the computer of Michael Ward, 70, were photos of humans having some sort of sex with “horses, dogs, [an] octopus and [an] eel,” according to a report of England’s Chelmsford Crown Court proceedings. A pre-sentencing order forbade Ward to have contact with children under 16, but was silent about possible contact with fish or mollusks.

The Passing Parade

At press time, “Bugs Bunny” and “Pink Panther” were on trial in St. Catharines, Ontario, on aggravated-assault charges from a Halloween 2015 bar fight in which “Dracula’s” ear was severely slashed with a broken bottle.

“There was a lot of blood,” said a witness (but coming from Dracula, not being sucked out by Dracula). Update: The judge cleared Bugs, but was still deliberating on Panther.

Thanks this week to Jim Doughtie, Gary Krupa and the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

EMAIL WRITING SAMPLES AND RESUME TO EDITOR@PLANETJH.COM.

NOVEMBER 30, 2016 | 9

n The British retailer ASOS announced in August that 3-foot-long clip-on dinosaur tails had sold out in one of its two models, although New York magazine, which reported it in the U.S., was, for obvious reasons, baffled about why.

company denied coverage for a drug that could extend her life—but at the same time disclosed that her suicide drugs are covered, and even disclosed her co-pay ($1.20).

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n In November, in a remote area of Oregon’s Maury Mountains, a 69-year-old man killed an elk and dragged the carcass behind his off-road vehicle up a hill. According to the Crook County Sheriff’s office, the vehicle suddenly flipped over backward, and the man landed on, and was impaled by, the elk’s antlers. Fellow hunters summoned a helicopter, and the man has apparently survived.

By CHUCK SHEPHERD

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

10 | NOVEMBER 30, 2016

THEM ON US

By JAKE NICHOLS

50 candles (and, hopefully, 50 inches) for JHMR Jackson Hole Mountain Resort was feted in USA Today for turning 50, though the ski resort did so dark. A lack of early snow pushed back opening day to Thursday, December 1 but that didn’t stop the nation’s paper from showering JHMR with love from the pen of contributor Larry Olmsted who called the resort, “arguably the world’s top independent, family-owned ski resort.”

JHMR turned 50 in 2016. Stories last December and January poured in from Conde Naste, Forbes, Powder Magazine, and others while the resort celebrated in March with a fireworks show and its usual Rendezvous music festival featuring the Zac Brown Band.

USA’s story focused on the future as well, highlighting JHMR’s new $10 million Sweetwater gondola, part of the first phase of “a dramatic expansion of the ski school,” Olmsted wrote.

Resort president Jerry Blann added that, “What we’re most proud of is that we’ve (invested) in a manner that’s kept the spirit of Jackson Hole the way it’s always been ... We will never have one million skier days, our guest experience will not become industrial, and we will never experience the sort of sprawl you see in other ski destinations. Jackson will remain wild and adventurous and true to our character.”

Vacation life Another tourism-generating story featured former Planet scribe Dina Mishev and her piece for The Washington Post. It began, “My life is your vacation.”

Mishev focused mainly on her introduction to the fabulous world of Nordic skiing in Jackson Hole.

“Even if only for a weekend, I would leave the dishes behind, see a moose without worrying whether it was going to eat my new aspen trees, and do something I usually don’t: cross-country ski,” she wrote. “The Tetons do not have foothills; they explode without hesitation 7,000 feet up from the valley floor. Nordic skiing in the Tetons is either flat or very much uphill.”

Drab lodging, dramatic land Christopher Reynolds’ piece for the Los Angeles Times didn’t begin like it was about to shower Jackson Hole with love. “The Jackson Lake Lodge is an ugly, brown box—a bad moment in mid-century design—but you might want to stay in one of its 385 rooms anyway,” he opened.

The short story was part of a 100-item travel and tips series celebrating the National Park Service’s centennial year. The Times is running one per day through the end of the year. Yesterday’s installment chatted up Grand Teton National Park as a destination “like no other.”

No griz hunting in parks Hunters: Don’t get your bear gun loaded just yet. National Parks Traveller reported the Wyoming Game and Fish Department as stating it has “no intent” to allow grizzly hunting on Park Service land in Wyoming.

Kurt Repanshek, founder and editor-in-chief for the Internet’s sole site dedicated to the NPS, which launched in 2005, assured readers WG&F is not eyeing griz hunts in Yellowstone or Grand Teton.

“Right now there’s no intent to hunt,” Dan Thompson told the Traveller. Thompson is the supervisor of the department’s large carnivore section. Thompson was assessing how his department would react concerning the state’s hunting regulations if the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service delists grizzlies in the Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem.

Eclipsing record tourist numbers A Google search of “solar eclipse 2017 Jackson Hole” turns up 46,200 results. That will likely only increase as the weeks and months tick by toward the historic event on August 21, 2017.

To prepare for the anticipated crowds, the Town of Jackson has been talking about a temporary hire of a dedicated person to coordinate the tourism blitz and help the town deal with influx of vacationers. An additional 40,000 travelers are expected to descend on the town at a time when hotels are already booked solid.

Among the long list of preparations are port-a-potties. They will be in high demand, promised Rich Ochs, Teton County emergency management coordinator.

Illegal camping will also be an issue authorities will have to deal with. It will be all hands on deck for Wyoming Highway Patrol. WHP told its troopers not to expect time off August 14 through the August 27, according to Wyo4News out of Sweetwater County. PJH

Y

The Tourist Trap

How excessive tourism affects beloved places and their inhabitants.

BY JAKE NICHOLS

JACKSON’S FIRST CAMERA-TOTING TOURIST? WILLIAM HENRY JACKSON, SEEN HERE ON GLACIER POINT IN YOSEMITE NP, TOOK SOME OF THE EARLIEST PHOTOGRAPHS OF JACKSON HOLE AND YELLOWSTONE IN THE 1870s AS A SURVEY PHOTOGRAPHER WITH THE HAYDEN EXPEDITION.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

The deal we had with tourists was: You leave in September and give our valley back to us. But these days, May begins the rush when it used to be June. September is the new August, and even through much of October the hustle and bustle of being a host resort town to millions of global sightseers has still not wound down. Jackson Hole has become summer season, ski season, and two weeks of mud when many leave to catch their breath.

Statistically, only November and April remain months when out-of-state tags are not readily spotted in Nora’s parking lot. In fact, many restaurants close for these off-season months or offer 2-for1 specials for anyone still around. It’s these 30 days between seasons that locals have to themselves to enjoy their turf, yet most take off then to become tourists—to have someone else take their lunch order, massage their weary backs, and show them around town.

Resort towns benefit, of course, from every tour bus and inbound flight, but when does tourism become too much of a good thing? What happens when service industry workers are stretched to the limit and the courtesy smile begins to fade? The traffic, overcrowding, and strain on infrastructure can begin to degrade visitor experience.

And host city residents can become stressed out and fed up with wave after wave of camera-toting “tourons.” While residents bask in the economic fruits of a tourist economy, what are the unavoidable concessions?

NOVEMBER 30, 2016 | 11

HISTORY COLORADO

ou’ve probably seen the bumper sticker, “If it’s tourist season why can’t we shoot ‘em?” It captures some locals’ sentiment toward visitors. It’s a love-hate relationship. It wasn’t too long ago Jackson Hole discovered the economic stability “dudes” brought to the valley. They came, they spent, and they left us with a little pocket money to get through the long winters.

Jackson Hole has always been three frenetic months of making hay, sandwiched between weather fierce enough to freeze out crops, commerce and company. When summer wrapped up, most locals barely hung on. That was a hundred years ago. Now, locals barely hang on through the summer season that never seems to end.

THE METRICS OF HOSPITALITY

So Jackson Hole is not alone in experiencing a crushing summer and the resulting fallout from a valley of 24,000 full-time residents hosting four million visitors every year. The summer of 2015 was record-breaking in every way. So was last summer. And what of the feeling that not only are the summers more intense and more crowded, but they seem to start earlier and end later?

The latest Jackson Hole Economic Dashboard indicates everything is up in 2016—on pace to set another all-time high. In Jackson Hole and throughout the Rocky Mountain region, visitation for 2016 will again break all previous records.

“Now that summer lodging activity is approaching the finish line with just a few weeks to go, a fifth consecutive summer record is assured,” reported Ralf Garrison, director of DestiMetrics last month.

Comparing this year with last, August’s lodging tax revenue and sales tax collections were up, 6 and 8 percent, respectively. The unemployment rate for September 2016 was lower than September 2015—a stat reflected all summer long in column

inch comparisons between jobs and rentals in the newspaper classifieds.

For the entire summer season, jobs were more plentiful than ever. Places to live were not. The jobs-to-rentals ratio for May was 8.78 (inches of Help Wanted to every inch of Rentals). August’s ratio was 4.6 (15.3 percent higher than 2015), while the October ratio cooled to 2.9 (still, 61.5 percent higher than in October 2015).

And did we pack ‘em in. Even for a rainsoaked October (the wettest in recorded history), occupancy rates last month were gangbusters. The occupancy rate for October 2016 was 18.1 percent higher than the same month last year, with rooms fetching an average of $205 (up 37 percent over 2015). September was strong as well. Occupancy rates for that month were 3.6 percent better than in 2015, with a 21.7 percent increase in average room rates ($277).

The Jackson Hole Airport did 18 percent more business last October than in October 2015. Yearto-date enplanements are up 11 percent over the previous year.

Visitation in both nearby national parks was down slightly in October due to the weather, but both Yellowstone and Grand Teton are on pace to break last year’s stupendous gate numbers.

Visitors are expected to keep coming, too.

According to DestriMetrics data, on-the-books occupancy for the upcoming six-month period is up 26 percent compared to last year at this time.

Tourism drives the economy in Jackson Hole and the trickledown is clearly having an effect.

The county issued more business licenses (+171 percent) and more construction permits (+42 percent) in October 2016 than in October 2015.

Year-to-date numbers of both are also up doubledigits. Residential construction total value for October 2016 was up by 188 percent compared to October 2015, and commercial construction total value for October 2016 was 52 percent higher than the previous year. Year-to-date totals for both residential and commercial construction value are up 76 and 187 percent, respectively.

TRAFFIC: WHERE RUBBER MEETS THE ROAD

Mindboggling numbers simply reinforce the notion we are still exploding in nearly every measurable way in Teton County. Traffic counts back

JACKSON HOLE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE

AUTOMOBILE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

12 | NOVEMBER 30, 2016

PACK YOUR BAGS

First off, it’s important to note that Jackson Hole, as unique as it is, is not the only community reaching a breaking point with hyper-tourism. People are globetrotting like never before. International tourism rose four percent to an estimated 1.2 billion travelers in 2015, according to the World Tourism Organization. As so-called “Golden Oldies,” jetsetters are aging now, with more disposable income, more leisure time and more flexibility in schedules.

For the hospitality industry, a potential client can be any resident of the world and, thanks to the internet, they can be targeted and reached easier than ever before by marketers. Last fall Canadian Business reported, “In tourism, there’s no such thing as off-season anymore.” The story suggested the rise of online booking sites, which deliver info on deals during non-peak times, as a factor driving travel in shoulder seasons.

And where is everyone going? Everywhere, it seems. From Barcelona to Bend, Paris to Palm Springs, Key West to the Great American West—the data indicates more and more people are looking to travel for enriching experiences. For many host communities, the interest and income is welcome.

Initially. Now, however, in many global hotspots, local citizens are wondering if all the attention is worth it.

“Norway is being destroyed because of Frozen [the movie] tourists,” asserted one headline from AOL this past summer. In fact, Norway slashed its promotion budget recently in an attempt to slow the overwhelming amount of visitors to the fjord nation.

Costa Rican gems like Manuel Antonio and Quepos are straining under the weight of heavy visitation and a blitzkrieg of cruise ship passengers.

Chamber of Commerce president Harry Bodan told the Tico Times last month that Quepos welcomes 68 cruise ships a year—with as many as 4,000 aboard. “[The park] can’t handle it,” he said.

In Bend, Ore., The Bulletin noted its city of about 87,000 was struggling to deal with “too much tourism.” Trailheads are mobbed, beer cans are scattered along the Deschutes River, and area parks and forests are beginning to show the wear and tear.

The Miami Herald reports laid back Key West is as slammed as ever. “Summer is when the locals

have the time and energy to come out to play—or simply to do their jobs without being pushed to the limit,” the paper stated. “For the people who live and work here, the price of a successful season is a stressful life in busy bars and restaurants, crowded streets, popular hotels, and fully booked trips on the water.”

Europe is not immune to the tourism crunch, either. Paris used to shut down in August. No more.

Barcelona is fast becoming another Venice as locals flee the city in droves, according to Fortune, due to Airbnb and other short-stay apartments driving up rents. Venice, meanwhile, is a hollowed out theme park, empty of its original residents and crippled by years of unchecked tourism, the Daily Beast reported. “The tourism boom is driving out the locals. They can’t afford the higher rents propelled by foreign demands and the authorities turning a blind eye to illegal renting and leasing,” wrote Elizabeth Becker in 2013.

“Any city that sacrifices itself on the altar of mass tourism will be abandoned by its people when they can no longer afford the cost of housing, food, and basic everyday necessities,” added The Guardian.

“We’re starting to see Venice without Venetians.”

LEFT: EXCESSIVE TRAFFIC AT BOTTLENECKS LIKE THE ‘Y’ ARE A SYMPTOM OF JACKSON’S GROWING ALLURE. RIGHT: STAGECOACH RIDES, STILL POPULAR WITH TOURISTS, HARKEN BACK TO A MORE QUAINT AND WESTERN JACKSON.

AUTUMN IS THE NEW SUMMER

Chaotic tourist seasons are good in some ways, obviously. But even business owners in Jackson admit there is a law of diminishing returns—a point where 10- to 12-hour days of playing host begin to frazzle those in the front of house and on the front lines.

Local photographer John Slaughter juggles multiple jobs in Jackson. He also lives out of his vehicle because of the valley’s severe housing shortage.

“Everyone’s on edge,” Slaughter told Big Life magazine. “You either work your face off, which I and most of my friends do, with multiple jobs to make it work. And that’s OK because you can always squeeze in that hour mountain bike ride.

But at some point we are unable to do that because we’re suddenly all working three to six jobs and paying $1,000 a month for a closet.”

The stress on the workforce leads to burnout.

Long days, longer seasons, leave no time, no room to detox or recharge.

Admittedly, the Travel and Tourism Board has boosted the valley’s shoulder season popularity with robust marketing for spring and fall. That has helped extend Jackson’s busiest season, summer, into the also popular winter season. Board chair Alex Klein said his group doesn’t spend a dime on promoting summer, but Goran ĆOrluka, a professor in the department of professional studies at University of Split in Croatia, says promotion of any kind is partly to blame for oversaturation of a destination.

“It should be noted that the effects of strategies to increase the number of tourists in the off-peak periods, even where they have succeeded in doing

so, have not always been positive,” ĆOrluka writes.

“At some destinations this has actually led to an increased acuteness of seasonal concentration, as the efforts made to attract tourists in the off-peak season also increased the number of peak season visitors.”

A quick scan of area hospitality providers zeroes in on the dichotomy of the Hole’s relentless pushpull marketing. Three Creek Ranch’s website reads: “Many of us remember the ‘old days’ when after Labor Day weekend they would roll up the sidewalks in Jackson Hole and businesses would shut down until the ski resorts opened. Today, Jackson has become a bustling town throughout the fall filled with conferences attracted by special rates…”

Spring Creek Ranch boasts: “It’s the shoulder season here in Jackson Hole, and with the trees turning the valley into a bright golden playground, there’s no better time of year to experience the Tetons, [w]hether you’re looking to do some late fall hiking or hit the slopes during the early season storms (shhhhh, don’t tell anyone, it’s a local secret)…”

Barker-Ewing admits in its marketing materials, “The shoulder-, or off-season, seems to grow shorter each year in Jackson as more festivals and events draw people to town year round.”

Forbes Travel Guide noticed the extended summer as well. “Locals often say September or October is their favorite month. With the increased popularity of the Jackson Hole Fall Arts Festival, September is now almost as busy as August,” the magazine reported.

“I haven’t had a ‘spring break’ in about three years. I don’t remember the last time I was able to get out of town in the fall, either,” said Sam McCollum, who commutes from Driggs, Idaho, to a construction job in Jackson. “This is first hunting season I didn’t buy a tag. I just don’t have the time anymore. When I get a little break from work, I have stuff to catch up on around the house. There’s just no down time. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels, in a rat race or a hamster wheel, you know?”

Hilary Cooper knows. She was just elected to the San Miguel County board of commissioners where

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

NOVEMBER 30, 2016 | 13

ALL INDICATORS LOOKING UP. YEAR-TO-DATE ENPLANEMENTS AT JACKSON HOLE AIRPORT HAVE ALREADY EXCEEDED 2015 NUMBERS.

in local commuter traffic. Aspen Chamber Resort Association president Debbie Braun told the Denver Post last month, “It’s easy to blame the visitors, but a lot of the traffic that people are complaining about in downtown Aspen is local, including construction workers racing to finish projects in Aspen’s brief building window.”

JACKSON HOLE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE

that up, and it’s not only tourists headed to the river and the rodeo. It’s “1T,” “12,” and “22” tags on their way cooking, cleaning, and building for the Jackson Hole guest. A breakdown of WYDOT’s traffic numbers for summer was predictably off the charts and, maybe surprisingly, local motorist-driven.

First, the increases. Traffic was unbearable in 2015. It was worse this past summer. Daily averages were up across the board on nearly every Jackson ingress/egress. WYDOT plans for a general two percent increase in traffic, annually. The valley’s been doing way better than that lately.

But what’s really interesting is a look inside the numbers. Comparison of weekend averages from the summers of 2014 to 2015 to 2016 show a moderate increase if any. At some WYDOT road counters, weekend traffic was actually down slightly this summer compared to the previous two.

One would expect weekend traffic to be primarily tourist-driven (excuse the pun). Weekday warriors, however, sped to and from work in Jackson in alltime high numbers.

Want more evidence it’s us who are clogging the highways in and out of Jackson? Take for example the two most heavily trafficked arteries into Jackson on a typical morning. By the way, traffic volumes for every single town and city in Wyoming typically peak around midday, indicating travelers are checking out of hotels and hitting the road.

In Teton County, counts are highest during rush hours—morning and afternoon.

Take the Snake River Canyon for instance. It carries an average of 450 vehicles across the Teton– Lincoln county line on a weekday morning in the seven o’clock hour. Those are commuters. On a weekend morning, the count is significantly lower.

Last summer, on Sunday, July 10, for example, just 68 vehicles tripped the counter in the Snake River Canyon in the 7 a.m. hour. On July 4—a mega-day for tourist travel—only 109 cars passed through the canyon. That was a Monday, but most workers had it off.

On Highway 22, an average of 1,120 vehicles stream into Jackson from over the pass and the West Bank on a typical weekday morning during the 7 a.m. hour. Same for the eight o’clock hour.

On weekends, that average number is less than 400. On July 10, a mere 365 vehicles used Highway 22 to get into Jackson from 7 a.m. to 8 a.m. On the Fourth, that number was 557.

We’re not the only ones seeing an increase

LOVING IT TO DEATH

Aside from the frenetic pace and the stress it can induce, excessive tourism has other notable downsides. Orluka published a research paper expounding on Richard Butler’s seminal 1980 study of tourism and its effect and stages on a given area. He cites several potential negative impacts of tourism including employment (difficulty training and retaining staff, unstable labor market, poor pay and long hours, lack of career opportunities); ecological (disturbance of wildlife, congestion of natural areas, pollution); socio-cultural (overcrowding, traffic, noise, lack of parking, long lines, diminished quality of life) and visitor experience (reduced enjoyment due to overcrowding and high prices, lack of quality service).

Deidre Ashley is the executive director of the Jackson Hole Community Counseling Center. She is

seeing a new and different kind of anxiety setting in at a time when budget cuts make it extremely difficult for her organization to offer assistance.

“People are very, very stressed. We are at a tipping point,” Ashley said. “It’s the nature of our tourist economy. We have all this development and big hotels, and you are looking at housing being a symptom of that. Everybody who works here, even owners and managers of a business, everyone is working a lot of hours. We are seeing the effects of adding jobs and growth in general. That growth needs to be supported at all levels including social services. We are seeing workers feeling the stress of having to do more.”

Burnout is common in Jackson Hole and other tourist destinations. Matt Johnson’s “8 Disadvantages of Tourism: The Dark Side of Vacations” identifies some of the pressures host cities are under when the Samsonite tsunami hits and won’t quit. How many of these can be applied to Jackson Hole?

“Many times, local governments are unable to prepare for the dramatic influx of people during busy season … without sufficient planning, tourism can put a strain on local facilities and infrastructure, which may prove difficult, and perhaps impossible, for a community to overcome,” Johnson writes.

“Excessive tourism can strip locals of a feeling of privacy. It may be due to newly packed restaurants and bars, or the very streets that used to be empty.

It’s not unusual to feel as if their humble town has been taken over by outsiders.”

High prices, fluctuation in the job market, and degradation of natural land resources are other pressures a popular travel spot has to deal with.

If government leaders don’t react, problems get worse. “Because local governments of smaller towns and cities are easily overwhelmed, especially if they happen to be a popular tourist destination, they may start focusing on the potential influx of money brought in by tourists’ dollars, sometimes at the cost of focusing on local issues,” Johnson said.

Six-year resident Sandra House noted, “I love that tourists are able to come here and enjoy the things that attracted me to Jackson, but it’s getting so I feel like all I’m doing is catering to them. I don’t have the time to do what I love to do—hiking, biking, floating the river—when all I do is make sure visitors can have fun doing these things.”

USA Today travel writer Carole Simm says residents indeed may feel like prisoners in their

own houses and neighborhoods. “They don’t want to deal with the heavy congestion. Community leaders who emphasize tourist opportunities may neglect buildings and services that support residents,” she wrote in a recent article.

Jackson Hole may be entering what G. Doxey calls the “Annoyance Stage” of his widely referenced 1975 irritation index, or “irridex,” model of tourism. In it, Doxey speculates that at some point “saturation is approached and the local people have misgivings. Planners attempt to control via increasing infrastructure rather then limiting growth. Industry is nearing saturation, and locals are annoyed by the number of visitors taking advantage of their town.”

Infrastructure in the valley is already being taxed to the limit. The Jackson Police Department reported a five percent increase in calls for service in 2016 over the previous summer. Lieutenant Cole Nethercott attributed it to the shear number of people in town. Outside influences also bring big city problems. Drug use in Jackson is on the rise—from heroin to marijuana—local teens and twentysomethings in the service industry are partying harder in their limited free time.

Sarah Nicholls, an associate professor in the Departments of Community Sustainability and Geography at Michigan State University, has never been to Jackson Hole. She doesn’t need to visit to know what’s happening here. She frequently comments on the tourism blitz hitting Traverse City, Mich. A recent article in the local paper there was headlined: “Traverse City council to tourists: We’re just not that into you.”

“I have never been to Jackson Hole, but I am all too familiar with the scenario [there],” Nicholls said. “The two planning alternatives at this point are essentially to increase infrastructure or limit growth. I suspect that the former is the typical strategy, though often that only serves to increase visitation rather than address the underlying issue.”

Nicholls added that attempts to deal with overcrowding might be too drastic or painful for many towns…if not impossible. “[One] way to limit numbers is to deliberately limit capacity—lodging places, parking spaces, etc. But that again is a big decision with economic implications,” Nicholls said. “That’s easier to imagine in places where most places are locally owned, but once most or all accommodations and [other amenity providers] are corporate owned, the

LEFT: CROWDS POUR IN

DAILY TO THE TOWN SQUARE TO WITNESS THE SHOOTOUT, AMERICA’S LONGEST RUNNING WESTERNSTYLED REENACTMENT.

NPS

JACKSON HOLE CENTRAL RESERVATIONS

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

14 | NOVEMBER 30, 2016

she will make quality of life her primary issue. The Telluride resident told the Denver Post, “We have to work our butts off to make it work financially to live here, but if we have to sacrifice our quality of life now, it’s no longer worth it. We don’t want to kick a gift horse in the mouth, but this summer just felt like too much. [And] it used to be that May was time for locals to leave the mountains to visit mom, Moab or Mexico. Now it’s just one long peak, with the busy winter blurring into summer into fall into winter.”

Sounds familiar.

Those in the hospitality industry aren’t the only ones stressed by hordes of travelers. Both Yellowstone and Grand Teton parks have hired dedicated social scientists to study the effects of people on the parks, and parks on people. Wildlife tends to suffer under the strain of increased visitation as well.

Research published in the Journal of Steroid Biochemistry in 2007 suggests wildlife experience “stress physiological responses to tourist pressure in a wild populations.” Collection of fecal samples of the European pine marten found significantly higher levels of glucocorticoid metabolites, androgen, progestin and estrogen during the busier spring and summer season. “Tourist pressure in natural parks is a potential source of stress and may cause an increase in the adrenal activity of wild populations of European pine marten,” the authors write.

RIGHT: A RECORD NUMBER OF YELLOWSTONE VISITORS PACKED INTO HOTSPOTS LIKE OLD FAITHFUL.

“Many times, local governments are unable to prepare for the dramatic influx of people during busy season.”

— MATT JOHNSON

THE TOWN DURING FALL ARTS FESTIVAL— A SUCCESSFUL EVENT THAT HAS EXTENDED SUMMER THROUGH SEPTEMBER.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

TOP: TOURISTS FLOOD

JACKSON HOLE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE

community has unfortunately lost a lot of control of its own development and resources.”

In a 2001 research paper for University of Minnesota, Glenn Kreag noted the negative effects of crowding and congestion that appear emblematic of Jackson Hole.

“As people congregate, congestion and crowding produces stress, annoyance, anger, and other negative attitudes. Hordes of visitors may impede local businesses, prevent residents from accomplishing normal activities, and compete for space,” Kreag wrote. “Tourism construction, especially hotels, may be inappropriate in scale and style with respect to other structures and the landscape. In some areas, recreational second homes and condominium developments create major crowding and congestion problems.”

Kreag added, “People will often feel stressed over the new, increasingly hectic community and personal pace of life. They may claim the result is no better than before or perhaps even worse.” PJH

BOTTOM: SPECIAL

NOVEMBER 30, 2016 | 15

EVENTS LIKE OLD WEST DAYS, FOURTH OF JULY FIREWORKS, AND THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP HILL CLIMB ATTRACT REVELERS AND REVENUE TO THE VALLEY.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

16 | NOVEMBER 30, 2016

FREE SPEECH Get Engaged How to effectively lobby your elected officials, even when you’re mad as hell.

BY MEG DALY @MegDaly1

WWW.HOUSE.GOV

T

oday, it seems there is enough political news to unnerve the most sanguine.

An undercurrent of rage can be detected at festive gatherings, running counter to the message of peace and joy often associated with the holiday season. Some lament the police’s violent attacks on water protectors rallying against the Dakota Access Pipeline. Others worry about state cuts in healthcare and the vow of Republican lawmakers to privatize public lands. Certain people that President-elect Donald Trump has appointed to his team have also stoked concern in many.

Rather than let anger poison winter revelry, there are effective ways to channel your ire—and hopefully effect actual change. Contacting your elected representatives and sharing your views is an important way to participate in democracy, and it’s a way to trade helplessness for empowerment.

In fact, if Utah-based writer and former congressional staffer Emily Ellsworth (@emilyeditore) is any gauge, you’ll be in good company when contacting your senators and representatives. Ellsworth published a series of tweets, starting on November 11, offering insights on the most effective ways to communicate with elected officials.

Her messages took off like wildfire.

According to Ellsworth, “Within days, the tweets had been viewed over 25 million times with 14 thousand retweets. By the following Monday, the phone lines in Washington, D.C., were flooded with calls from people talking to congressional staffers about their frustrations with political appointees and requests to investigate the incoming administration’s financial entanglements.”

Ellsworth has since turned this advice into a self-published book, Call the Halls: Contacting Your Representatives the Smart Way. “The best letters are the ones that are specific and heartfelt,” Ellsworth writes. This advice goes for phone calls as well. “The power of an individual story is the thing that changes the minds of lawmakers.”

Phoebe Stoner agrees. The former campaign manager for County Commissioner Natalia D. Macker, and current executive director of the Equality State Policy Center, says effective communicating with elected officials starts with storytelling.

“You can have all these facts, and have studied the issue,” explained Stoner, “but if you have a story that represents the effects of policy, then the issue becomes personal.”

In Wyoming, people have a uniquely strong voice with their electeds because of the state’s small population. Fifty phone calls from constituents speaks louder here than it does in a more populous state like California. Wyoming senators and representatives are accustomed to talking to voters.

Make sure these folks know where you stand before they convene.

According to Senator Mike Enzi’s press secretary Max d’Onofrio, Enzi listens when constituents speak. Enzi spends a portion of each year traveling the state and talking with people face-to-face.

“Wyoming is one of those places where people call their senators by their first names,” d’Onofrio said. “Senator Enzi really does listen to his constituents. I think he would say he takes everything into consideration.”

With national legislators, Ellsworth recommends phone calls to district offices as the best way to get your message heard. The second most effective way is a personal email. However, form emails, while virtually effortless to sign and send, really aren’t that effective.

“Form emails that come from websites where you just put in your name and ZIP code are batched easily,” Ellsworth writes. “Lots of emails on one particular issue show that there is interest in a policy or piece of legislation, but the impersonal nature of form emails can dilute their impact.”

To master the art of communicating with a legislator or other elected official, take the long view.

Stoner recommends thinking in terms of building relationships and becoming a trusted source of information.

“Relationships take time,” Stoner said. “Over time, the representative gets to know you and knows the issue you care about. It builds trust.”

Stoner’s message is both pragmatic and hopeful. If you really want to participate in democracy and lobby your legislators, you’ll need to check cynicism, and apathy, at the door. Being engaged politically takes time, and heart. The good news is that citizens can and should think of themselves as resources for their representatives. Legislators can’t be experts on everything and they depend on lobbyists – including citizen lobbyists – to provide information and ideas for how to solve problems.

House District 23 Representative Andy Schwartz says

“When we only allow those in the extremes to dictate the conversations, we grow further apart.”

just identifying a problem is not the way to persuade him to do something. “But if somebody had a thought about ways to fix a problem, that’s immensely valuable,” he noted.

Perhaps the key mental shift for the average citizen is to stop seeing yourself as powerless and instead as a potential expert.

Now about that rage. According to Stoner, any kind of emotion can provide important fuel and focus for communicating. It’s often that instance of emotion that provides the spark for action. “Whatever that sting is, it is important to identify it in your story,” she said.

So you might say, “I’ve always loved public lands, and when I heard there was drilling planned in the Hoback Range, it really worried me. So I decided to write to you (senator) to tell you how much those mountains mean to me.”

The savvy citizen will identify the areas of shared values with their elected officials. Those are the arenas where you’re likely to have an impact.

Stoner also recommends something most people know but that can get lost in political dialogue: communicating with respect and tact. “It’s like communication in general,” she said. “You have a message you want to get across.

It’s best delivered in a way they can hear it.”

A final key tip is to keep things in perspective. You aren’t going to be able to sway everyone all of the time.

“You won’t change your representative’s mind right away,” Ellsworth writes. “In most cases, you’ll see more failures than successes.”

“However,” she continues, “despite the uphill battle, a more engaged constituency always leads to more compromise and conversation. When we only allow those in the extremes to dictate the conversations, we grow further apart.”

The Equality State Policy Center will host daylong advocacy training, Shape Wyoming, February 6 at the Radisson Hotel in Cheyenne. For more information visit equalitystate.org. PJH

THIS WEEK: November 30-December 6, 2016

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 30

n REFIT® 5:15pm, First Baptist Church, Free, 307-690-6539 n Zumba 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Ski Fitness 5:30pm, Teton County/ Jackson Parks and Recreation, $8.00 - $85.00, 307-732-5754 n Whiskey Experience 6:00pm, VOM FASS Jackson Hole, Free, 307-734-1535 n World AIDS Day Observation 6:00pm, JHHS Library, Free, 307-690-5419 n JH Community Band Rehearsal 7:00pm, Center for the Arts Performing Arts Wing, Free, 307-200-9463 n Major Zepher 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n Salsa Night 9:00pm, The Rose, Free, 307733-1500

GIFT SHOW Saturday, December 10 10 a.m. – 3 p.m.

Buy gifts for the ones you love from the artists you love…

Jenny & Sam Dowd, Laurie Thal, Meggan Stordahl & Carolyn Little Nancy Carson, Sharon Rudd, Diane Awuv, Clairey Grubbs Kristin Simpson, Diane Benefiel & Dee Parker, Teton Raptor Center Sheila Tintera & Shana Stegman, Nicole Gaitan, Peggy Prugh Carey Innis, Billie Metzger.

Pottery, jewelry, blown glass, paintings, prints, cards, handcrafted clothing, hats, bags, chocolate gift boxes

307.413.9507 5655 Main Street oldwilsonschool.com

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 2

n Peggy Prugh Art Show 7:00am, Pearl Street Bagels, Free n Dance & Fitness Classes All Day 8:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Gym 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $4.00, 307-739-9025 n Portrait Drawing Club 9:00am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $10.00, 307733-6379 n Yoga 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Open Studio: Portrait Model 9:00am, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $10.00, 307733-6379 n Level 1 Avalanche: Decision Making In Avalanche Terrain (AIARE 1) 9:00am, CWC-Jackson, $375.00, 307-733-7425 n Leadership Intensive 9:00am, CWC-Jackson, $395.00, 307-733-7425 n Tagtool Workshop with VJSuave 9:00am, Center for the Arts, $15.00, 307-413-1474

NOVEMBER 30, 2016 | 17

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 20

n Peggy Prugh Art Show 7:00am, Pearl Street Bagels, Free n Business Over Breakfast 7:30am, Wort Hotel, $16.00 $25.00, 307-201-2309 n Dance & Fitness Classes All Day 8:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Yoga 9:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Opening Day 9:00am, Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, 307-733-2292 n Opening Day 9:00am, Grand Targhee Resort, 800-TARGHEE n Teton MudPot Holiday Sale 10:00am, Art Association Gallery, Free, 307-733-6379 n Toddler Time 10:05am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Teton Toastmasters 12:00pm, Teton County Commissioners Chambers, Free n Spin 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n InDesign Fundamentals: Flyer and Poster Layout 2:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $140.00 $168.00, 307-733-6379 n Center Stage: Theater & Story-crafting (Afterschool) 3:45pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Advent After School 4:00pm, Shepherd of the Mountains Lutheran Church, Free, 307-733-4382 n Leadership Intensive 5:00pm, CWC-Jackson, $395.00, 307-733-7425 n 6th Annual Wort Hotel Street Lighting, Santa & Chamber Mixer 5:00pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n Skinny Skis presents Avalanche Awareness Night 5:00pm, Center for the Arts, $5.00, 307-733-4900 n Luke Stalker Global Fellowship Info Night 5:00pm, Teton County Library, Ordway Auditorium, Free, 307739-1026

Compiled by Caroline LaRosa

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n Yoga 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n November Food Drive at Jackson Whole Grocer 7:00am, Jackson Whole Grocer and Cafe, $20.00 - $25.00, 307-733-0450 n Peggy Prugh Art Show 7:00am, Pearl Street Bagels, Free n Dance & Fitness Classes All Day 8:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Gym 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $4.00, 307-739-9025 n Storytime 10:00am, Valley of the Tetons Library Victor, Free, 208-7872201 n Fables Feathers & Fur 10:30am, National Museum of Wildlife Art, 307-732-5435 n Transcendental Meditation Presentation 12:00pm, TM Center, Free, 307690-5727 n Total Fitness 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Things That Go Boom: Science & Games (Afterschool) 3:45pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Barbara Trentham Life Drawing 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $10.00, 307733-6379 n Open Studio: Figure Model 6:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $10.00, 307733-6379 n Richard Alston Repertory Workshop 6:30pm, Dancers’ Workshop, $55.00, 307-733-6398 n BogDog 6:30pm, Mangy Moose, Free, 307-733-4913 n Kung Fu & Blast Off Fall Tour & Particle 8:00pm, Pink Garter Theatre, n Smith Party featuring Blast Off Fall Tour with Kung Fu & Particle 9:00pm, Pink Garter Theatre, $17.00 - $20.00, 307-733-1500

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 1

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

18 | NOVEMBER 30, 2016

MUSIC BOX The Groove Within and The Pig Particle and Kung Fu bring jamtronica fusion, One Ton Pig celebrates 10 years of Bluegrass Tuesdays.

BY AARON DAVIS @ScreenDoorPorch

I

nsistent dance floor thumping, prog-rock and disco-flavored sounds were not always a staple in the jamband scene. Jamtronica, or funk-tronic, grew at the hands of Particle, a band that formed in L.A. in 2000 and was at the forefront of the movement that also included Sound Tribe Sector 9 and Lotus. Particle revived the touring machine earlier this year and has since teamed up with fellow funk “nu-sion” band Kung Fu for a double-bill package of electronic dance-rock.

Particle’s lineup will include longtime friends guitarist Mike Daum (Night Phoenix) and drummer Kito Bovenschulte (FiKus) into the fold, both of which have been special guests with the band throughout the years.

With a focus on the live show including marathon sets like a five-hour show at Bonnaroo for more than 20 thousand people, Particle released a single studio album, Launchpad in 2004, followed by Transformations Live for the People in 2006.

As for Kung Fu, take a spin with Joyride, the band’s 2016 release that weaves powerful grooves with a fusion that brings to mind Weather Report and Mahavishnu Orchestra with more of an EDM-informed sensibility. The band consists of virtuoso Tim Palmieri (guitar and vocals); Robert Somerville (tenor sax and vocals); Beau Sasser (keyboards and vocals); Chris DeAngelis (bass guitar and vocals) and Adrian Tramontano (drums/percussion).

“We want to hold the groove within while taking a lot

Kung Fu chops up the Garter with Particle on Wednesday. of chances,” Palmieri told Grateful Web. He has been compared to a spawn of John McLaughlin and Robert Fripp.

“Everyone’s a great listener and killer player and the music is intense, especially at high altitude. You get to the point where you’re not thinking, but you’re in control of you’re thinking. It’s a paradox of controlled freedom.”

Kung Fu with Particle and Cut La Whut, 9 p.m.

Wednesday, November 30 at the Pink Garter Theatre. $20.

PinkGarterTheatre.com, 307-733-1500.

Grass-fed Pig turns 10 “Cultivate this love on a single night and let that shit grow.” - from “Two to Get on Stage,” written by One Ton Pig’s Michael Batdorf Whether you moved here last month for your first winter or rolled into town a decade ago, chances are solid for the average bargoer or swing dance connoisseur

that you’ve encountered the Pig, the One Ton Pig. From alt-country story songs to progressive jam-grass and that dependable train beat, the sextet celebrates their 10th anniversary of Bluegrass Tuesdays coinciding with the Wort’s 75th anniversary year.

As the ole saying goes, “Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered,” and this Pig has not tempted hoggish greed but rather settled into its Tuesday residency and never looked back. In a sense, they’ve fattened up their local following by trimming the fat. Not overly ambitious towards burning up miles of pavement touring the country in a van—which they’ve certainly had the goods to do and occasionally have dabbled in—the band also didn’t burn themselves out that way. Instead, they have evolved under the umbrella of a magnetic Tuesday and summers full of gigs while holding down day jobs.

The ultra-talented Pig began as a quartet with “a single

WEDNESDAY Kung Fu with Particle and Cut La Whut (Pink Garter Theatre) FRIDAY Lazy Eyes at Moose Hockey (Snow King Center), Sneaky Pete & the Secret Weapons (Silver Dollar)

One Ton Pig celebrates a decade of Tuesday jams at The Wort. season contract” at the Silver Dollar Bar featuring founding members guitarist/vocalist Michael Batdorf, guitarist/ vocalist Justin Smith, drummer Jason Baggett, and bassist Greg Creamer. Andy Calder soon replaced Creamer on bass, followed by the addition of mandolinist Tim Farris a few years later. The sextet was completed when fiddler Matt Herron moved to the valley about five years ago. The current lineup can be heard on the band’s 2015 release Lastville, their third studio album of original material since recording a debut live album in 2008. While Batdorf is the primary songwriter, Smith and Farris have also contributed originals for the group, which has developed a brotherly chemistry in its tenure.

The weekly Bluegrass Tuesday party attracts an equal slice of Jackson’s demographic—the 90-dayers, cowboys and ranchers, ski bums, tourists of all stripes, and a hardcore club of dancers that have come to love the Pig

beat. While the tradition has a few decades to catch up to the Stagecoach Band’s 47-year residency on Sundays in Wilson, there’s no doubt that Tuesdays with One Ton Pig is a well-attended tradition that’s built to last.

“It’s not the stage I got a problem with, it’s that I gotta get back home,” Batdorf howls after the minimum “Two to Get on Stage.” And we’re right there with you, boys. Meet ‘em at The Wort.

One Ton Pig 10th anniversary, 7:30 to 11 p.m. Tuesday, December 6 at the Silver Dollar Showroom. Free. Worthotel. com/silver-dollar-bar, 307-732-3939. PJH Aaron Davis is a singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, recording engineer, member of Screen Door Porch and Boondocks, founder/host of Songwriter’s Alley, and co-founder of The WYOmericana Caravan.

SATURDAY Sneaky Pete & the Secret Weapons (Silver Dollar), Beats By Capella (Town Square Tavern), Lazy Eyes at Moose Hockey (Snow King Center) SUNDAY Stagecoach Band (Stagecoach) MONDAY Jackson Hole Hootenanny (Dornan’s) TUESDAY One Ton Pig (Silver Dollar), Jon Wayne & the Pain (Town Square Tavern)

Jackson Hole History Museum - 225 N. Cache St. - 307-733-2414 Kelly is a professor of anthropology at the University of Wyoming.

NOVEMBER 30, 2016 | 19

Based on his new book, Kelly identifies in this lecture four key “beginnings” in humanity’s six-million-year history: the emergence of technology, culture, agriculture, and the state.

Each shows how long-term processes result in definitive, noturning-back change for the organization of society. Kelly then looks ahead, and sees evidence for a fifth beginning, one that started about AD 1500. It’s “globalization,” but Kelly places it in its larger context: a five-thousand-year arms race, capitalism’s global reach, and the cultural effects of a worldwide communication network. Kelly predicts that the fifth beginning will see the end of war as a viable way to resolve disputes, the end of capitalism as we know it, and the rise of forms of cooperation that will end the near-sacred status of nation-states. It’s the end of life as we know it.

However, the author is cautiously optimistic: he dwells not on the coming chaos, but on humanity’s great potential.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Lecture and Book Signing December 1, 7pm

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

20 | NOVEMBER 30, 2016

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 3

n Peggy Prugh Art Show 7:00am, Pearl Street Bagels, Free n Dance & Fitness Classes All Day 8:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n REFIT® 9:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $20.00, 307-733-6398 n Level 1 Avalanche: Decision Making In Avalanche Terrain (AIARE 1) 9:00am, CWC-Jackson, $375.00, 307-733-7425 n Coffee Tasting and Preparation 9:00am, Snake River Roasting Company, $10.00, 307-733-7425 n Leadership Intensive 9:00am, CWC-Jackson, $395.00, 307-733-7425 n Holiday Bazaar presented by the Art Association 9:00am, The Conference Center at the Lodge of Jackson Hole, Free, 307-733-6379

SEE CALENDAR PAGE 23

ANDREW MUNZ

n Teton MudPot Holiday Sale 10:00am, Art Association Gallery, Free, 307733-6379 n Tai Chi for Better Balance 10:30am, Senior Center of Jackson Hole, $3.00, 307-733-7300 n Zumba 12:00pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Total Fitness 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Chadwick & Conrad 3:00pm, The Trap Bar & Grill, Free, 307-3532300 n Fun Fridays: Self-directed play (Afterschool) 3:45pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditoirum, Free, 307-733-2164 n Friday Tastings 4:00pm, The Liquor Store of Jackson Hole, Free, 307-733-4466 n Advent After School 4:00pm, Shepherd of the Mountains Lutheran Church, Free, 307-733-4382 n Transcendental Meditation Presentation 5:00pm, TM Center, Free, 307-690-5727 n Pam Drews Phillips Plays Jazz 7:00pm, The Granary at Spring Creek Ranch, Free, 307-733-8833 n Library Benefit 2016 7:00pm, Four Seasons Resort, 307-733-2164 n Free Public Stargazing 7:30pm, Center for the Arts, Free, 844-9967827 n Sneaky Pete & The Secret Weapons 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307732-3939 n Jackson Hole Moose Hockey 7:30pm, Snow King Sports & Event Center, $5.00 - $10.00, 307-201-1633 n Cold Water 9:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, $5.00, 307-733-2207 n Friday Night DJ featuring: Mr. Whipple 10:00pm, Pink Garter Theatre, Free, 307-7331500

WELL, THAT HAPPENED

Bent Corners How to change the fabric of the future.

BY ANDREW MUNZ @AndrewMunz

A

s a Valley Bookstore employee, I couldn’t have been happier with the success of our Black Friday event last week. Hundreds of newly purchased books walked out our doors in the arms of book lovers of all ages, and our little mom ‘n pop shop enjoyed a surge of generous support from the local community. (Amazon offered some great deals, yet many shoppers resisted the website’s imperial, corporate tractor beam.)

As genres slowly depleted their stock, by the end of the day I recognized that teen (or young adult) fiction was one of the least pillaged sections of the store.

While there was one Teton County School District librarian who plucked around 15 titles to add to her school’s collection, the sales that followed were meager in quantity. There wasn’t a lot of movement on newly published teen fiction, which, while disappointing, makes sense. No one really knows which teen novels are worth reading. Then there’s that unanswerable question: How do we get teens to read? Not only read teen books, but just read? Anything!

This was a focus of mine when I was the teen program coordinator at the Teton County Library last summer. The Teen Summer Reading Program is designed to bribe kids to pour hours of their free time into reading books in exchange for sick prizes (1250-piece ninja LEGO set,

Put down your iphone, dearest teenager. We have a novel idea for you. anyone?), but ultimately I wanted kids to read because they wanted to. The trick is… they don’t really want to. Sure, there are plenty of teens who pick up books without any cattle prodding from teachers or parents, and actually love reading for the sake of reading, but I don’t think it’s incorrect to say that number is drastically dwindling.

One mother shopping at the bookstore came to me for some advice.

“I can’t seem to get the phone out of his hands,” she lamented, “and all he wants to do is game online with his friends.”

She told me her son was thirteen years old, and she was desperate to find books that were so good they would shock him into submission, make him do a complete 180 and change his life.

“Are you a reader?” I asked.

“Not really, but I want him to be.”

A lot of the younger teens of the current generation have experienced a completely tech-infused childhood, a time where hyper-connectivity to the rest of the world has made them disconnected to the tangibility of the present. And when you grow up with a tablet in your hands that produces a kaleidoscope of moving images, it becomes apparent that a book won’t be able to provide that level of stimulation.

I’m not an expert on childcare (I studied child development a bit in school), but I think if a parent wants their child to be a reader, they have to lead by example and start their sons and daughters off early. If parents consistently give their kids tablets and phones to distract them, their kids are going to develop bad habits and won’t have the attention capacity to sit down quietly for an hour and turn one page at a time.

Coming to you as a reader of teen fiction, I can promise that there are some really incredible books out there, especially the books that aren’t made into movies directed by Tim Burton or staring a waify, high-profile brunette. Being a teen sucks.

There’s no doubt about it. But that’s what’s so great about teen literature—it pinpoints all the crap teens have to deal with, and makes it all relatable and exciting and tragic.

We’ve come so far from Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret. Teens have sex!

They say fuck! They experiment with a variety of things from alcohol to outfits to bad electronic music. And most importantly, they are so, absolutely, absurdly, desperately anxious to know who they are.

They hate being forced into things, but look to us for guidance. Rather than asking a teenager, “What do you like to read?” try “What do you hate to read?” and browse through the negative space for something awesome.

The current technological age is dangerous, not just for books, but for readers.

The reason Harry Potter was such a success, and remains a nostalgic safety blanket, is that it came out right before social media became our obsession (the seventh book was published in 2007). We were still reading, then. Teens were still reading. We can’t let electricity trump literacy.

Next time you’re seeking out a new book from the bookstore or the library, I urge you to give teen fiction a try. And if you find something that you love, thrust it into the hands of a teenager you know, gush over it, and lead by example. They’ll listen. PJH

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

NOVEMBER 30, 2016 | 21

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

22 | NOVEMBER 30, 2016

CINEMA Come check out your favorite NFL/College team on our 10 HD tvs!

•••••••••••

HAPPY HOUR

1/2 Off Drinks Daily 5-7pm

••••••••••• Monday-Saturday 11am, Sunday 10:30am 832 W. Broadway (inside Plaza Liquors)•733-7901

XMAS FLICKS

Christmas Stalkings Holiday horror flicks help counterbalance the joy of the season.

BY DAVID RIEDEL @davidmriedel

W

hat’s to love about Christmas?

The rampant commercialization? The long shopping lines and traffic that result from said commercialization? Or putting up with relatives who always remind you why you see them only once a year?

That’s why we need more Christmas horror flicks. If we’re going to be miserable, we might as well have the shit scared out of us, too. Sure, many Christmas horror movies are just as bad as (and often worse than) so-called classic Christmas films, but a select group is decent-ish—even creepy!

Take the following five films, starting with It’s a Wonderful Life. On its face, It’s a Wonderful Life is a feelgood picture. But, really, it’s a horror movie. Don’t let the happy ending fool you. For example, the main character is rewarded for saving his brother from drowning by losing his hearing. The old pharmacist accidentally poisons a bunch of people. The town asshole Mr. Potter (Lionel Barrymore) tells George Bailey (James Stewart) he’d be worth more dead than alive. George attempts suicide.

Then there’s the ne plus ultra of horror: Bad acting. The child playing George’s daughter gives the worst line reading in movie history (for real; I study these things) when she tells him every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings. It’s a Wonderful Life was a box office bomb during its original release. I wonder what kept viewers away?

Sappy Frank Capra movies aside, there’s more traditional horror out there. If you don’t want to watch James Stewart (nearly) drown, perhaps you’d be more comfortable watching sorority sisters menaced by a nameless killer?

That’s the premise of Bob Clark’s Black Christmas (Clark also directed A Christmas Story, Porky’s and Baby Geniuses; his was

Enjoy that warm and fuzzy Christmas feeling with a viewing of Silent Night, Deadly Night. an unusually varied career). It’s the standard there’s-a-stalker-on-the-phone-andhe’s-inside-the-house routine, but it has the added bonus of good performances

by Olivia Hussey (a long way from Franco Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet), Margot Kidder and Keir Dullea, and a built-in gnarly 1970s vibe. Plus, Clark knew something about atmosphere (or at least horror atmosphere; skip Baby Geniuses unless you’re looking for unintentional horror).

Black Christmas is just plain creepy. You’ll never look at a rocking chair the same way—and stay away from the remake.

Back in 1984, Silent Night, Deadly Night started a national frenzy when people saw its one-sheet depicting Santa’s arm gripping an axe as he descended a chimney. Church groups and Reagan Democrats were aghast: Santa kills people? Silent Night, Deadly Night was pulled early from cinemas over the furor. It turns out everyone who got bent out of shape by its premise was wrong—Santa doesn’t kill people.

A deranged dope dressed as Santa kills people.

But just how is the movie? In a word: Garbage. It contains every rotten ‘80s slasher trope, including attempted rape, gratuitous nudity and graphic deaths.

But it also features the fake Santa yelling “Naughty!” before each kill, which is mildly amusing if not particularly inspired. By the way, this piece of crap spawned four sequels.

Here’s a poser: Do movies released in June that take place during Christmas count as Christmas movies? If so, Gremlins falls under the Christmas horror umbrella. There isn’t much to write about Gremlins that hasn’t been written before,

but for those who think it’s not a horror film, remember: One gremlin explodes in a microwave, an elderly woman is shot into the stratosphere by an out-of-control stair lift, and one character’s father breaks his neck and dies in a chimney (off-screen, but still). Gremlins is nasty, mean-spirited, features Howie Mandel and—along with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom the same year—inspired the PG-13 rating. Its horror bona fides are legit.

That brings us to Krampus, one of the few horror films that did better with critics than with audiences. Based on a Bavarian folktale about a weird goat-devil thing that punishes bad children, director Michael Dougherty (who made the superior Trick ‘r Treat, which is about Easter or something), goes for horror-comedy and ends up with too little of either. Pro tip: If you’re going to cast David Koechner and Conchata Ferrell, make their characters funny, not the kind of people you’d like to murder.

Max (Emjay Anthony) is all about Christmas, but when things don’t go his way Christmas Eve, he tears up a letter to Santa and accidentally summons the title character who then turns Max’s family into mincemeat. Krampus has a dark ending and some chills, but when you’re watching it and wondering how this movie attracted A-listers Toni Collette and Adam Scott, it ain’t really doing its job.

That means it’s your job, budding filmmakers of the world, to come up with the scariest Christmas flick you can. My suggestion: Santa Claus flips out and kills everyone in Anytown, U.S.A., because some brat forgot to set out cookies and milk for him. Or better yet: The milk went bad and causes Santa to suffer paranoid delusions that result in mass slaughter.

Hop to it; I plan to revise this list next year, so screenplays are due by March 31.

Happy holidays! PJH

n Tagtool Workshop with VJSuave 9:00am, Center for the Arts, $15.00, 307-413-1474 n Global Fat Bike Day 9:00am, Grand Targhee Resort, Free, 307-353-2300 n Snow King Resort Opens 9:00am, Snow King Mountain, 307-733-5200 n Forging Metal Bracelets, Earrings & Rings 9:30am, Art Association of Jacskson Hole, $70.00 $84.00, 307-733-6379 n Maw Band 3:00pm, The Trap Bar & Grill, Free, 307-353-2300 n Dogs in a Drift 6:30pm, The Black Box at the Center for the Arts, $7.00 $20.00, 307-733-3021 n Sneaky Pete & The Secret Weapons 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n Jackson Hole Moose Hockey 7:30pm, Snow King Sports & Event Center, $5.00 - $10.00, 307-201-1633 n Cold Water 9:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, $5.00, 307-733-2207 n Beats By Capella 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Free, 307-733-3886 n Jameson Black Barrel Music Series presents: The Fritts Project 10:30pm, Pink Garter Theatre, Free, 307-733-1500

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 4

MONDAY, DECEMBER 5

n Yoga 7:00am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Peggy Prugh Art Show 7:00am, Pearl Street Bagels, Free n Dance & Fitness Classes All Day 8:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n Toddler Gym 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $4.00, 307-739-9025 n Total Fitness 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n After School Kidzart Club: Grade K-2 3:30pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $150.00, 307733-6379 n Movie Mondays: Films & Gaming (Afterschool) 3:45pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Advent After School 4:00pm, Shepherd of the Mountains Lutheran Church, Free, 307-733-4382 n Photography Fundamentals 5:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $130.00, 307733-6379

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 6

FOR COMPLETE EVENT DETAILS VISIT PJHCALENDAR.COM

GOT SOME GRIPE-WORTHY ISSUES, OR EVEN… SOMEONE TO PRAISE? MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD WITH A LETTER TO THE EDITOR.

EMAIL EDITOR@PLANETJH.COM WITH “LETTER TO THE EDITOR” IN THE SUBJECT LINE.

NOVEMBER 30, 2016 | 23

n Peggy Prugh Art Show 7:00am, Pearl Street Bagels, Free n Dance & Fitness Classes All Day 8:00am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $16.00, 307-733-6398 n REFIT® 8:30am, Dancers’ Workshop, $10.00 - $20.00, 307-733-6398 n Yoga 8:30am, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025

n Toddler Time 10:05am, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Tai Chi for Better Balance 10:30am, Senior Center of Jackson Hole, $3.00, 307-7337300 n Spin 12:10pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n InDesign Fundamentals: Flyer and Poster Layout 2:00pm, Art Association of Jackson Hole, $140.00 $168.00, 307-733-6379 n Make It & Take It: Themed Crafts (Afterschool) 3:45pm, Teton County Library Youth Auditorium, Free, 307733-2164 n Advent After School 4:00pm, Shepherd of the Mountains Lutheran Church, Free, 307-733-4382 n Zumba 4:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n REFIT® 5:15pm, First Baptist Church, Free, 307-690-6539 n Total Fitness 5:30pm, Teton Recreation Center, $8.00, 307-739-9025 n Ski Fitness 5:30pm, Teton County/ Jackson Parks and Recreation, $8.00 - $85.00, 307-732-5754 n Tuesday Trivia Night 6:00pm, Q Roadhouse, Free, 307-739-0700 n Cribbage 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-354-5522 n Celebration of a New Ministry 6:00pm, St. John’s Episcopal Church, Free, 307-733-2603 n Writer’s Workshop Series 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, Free, 208-787-2201 n Concussion in Sports 6:30pm, Jackson Hole High School, Free, n Holden Evening Prayer 6:30pm, Shepherd of the Mountains Lutheran Church, Free, 307-733-4382 n Auditions for Hamlet 7:30pm, Studio, Free, 307-2039067 n One Ton Pig 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Showroom, Free, 307-732-3939 n Jon Wayne & the Pain 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, $5.00, 307-733-3886

Email work to editor@planetjh.com

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n Peggy Prugh Art Show 7:00am, Pearl Street Bagels, Free n First Sundays 9:00am, National Museum of Wildlife Art, Free, 307-743-5424 n Level 1 Avalanche: Decision Making In Avalanche Terrain (AIARE 1) 9:00am, CWC-Jackson, $375.00, 307-733-7425 n Tagtool Workshop with VJSuave 10:00am, Center for the Arts, $15.00, 307-413-1474 n NFL Sunday Football 11:00am, The Trap Bar & Grill, Free, 307-353-2300 n Mardy’s Annual Cookie Swap 2:00pm, Mardy’s Cabin at The Murie Ranch in Moose, Free, 307-739-2246

n The Jackson Hole Chorale Presents Handel’s MESSIAH 3:00pm, Our Lady of the Mountains Catholic Church, Free, 307-690-5015 n Stagecoach Band 6:00pm, Stagecoach, Free, 307-733-4407 n Wine Tasting 6:00pm, Dornans, 307-7332415

illustrators and photographers wanted

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

24 | NOVEMBER 30, 2016

BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

Bitter Harvest 2016 is shaping up to be a bust year for French Chablis.

BY TED SCHEFFLER @critic1

F

rench Chablis is a very distinctive wine and one that is growing in popularity with American wine drinkers.

But if you’re a Chablis lover like me, you’d better start stocking your wine cellar. This year’s grape harvest in Chablis is nothing short of a disaster.

So, what is Chablis? It’s both a place and a wine. The most northern subregion of Burgundy, Chablis is located far north of the more famous Côte d’Or, which is approximately 60 miles to the south. Champagne is actually closer; about 20 miles from Chablis. The wine produced in Chablis is Chardonnay, which is grown in vineyards that resemble rolling ocean waves. It’s stunningly beautiful scenery. And Chablis

wine is stunningly beautiful, too. Although, maybe not for every palate.

Even though it’s made from 100 percent Chardonnay grapes, Chablis is much more austere, crisp and acidic than its White Burgundy southern sister. Unlike Bourgogne Blanc, Chablis has little or no oak and vanilla flavors, since it’s typically fermented in stainless steel or neutral wood casks. To some, that makes Chablis less appealing than bigger, oaky Chardonnays.

I love the minerality of Chablis. The French sometimes describe the unique flavor of good Chablis as “gunflint:” gout de pierre à fusil. A really nice Premier or Grand Cru Chablis often has those mineral gunflint notes along with sweet honeyed flavors.

It’s the terroir—the unique soil—that gives Chablis its special appeal. The soil in Chablis, which some 150 million years ago was a sea that evaporated, is comprised mostly of limestone and fossils, sea shells, oysters and such.

That’s what gives Chablis wine its distinctive briny taste. Some wine writers compare the taste of Chablis to licking wet rocks or slate (something I’ve yet to try).

Sadly, the 2016 Chablis harvest is pretty pathetic. The lucky growers will have a harvest about one-third the normal size this year. The unlucky ones will lose 90 percent or more of their crops. Some winemakers, like Christophe Ferrari, won’t harvest a

IMBIBE single grape from his 9-acre plot.

It’s weather that’s causing such distress in Chablis these days. In late April, an unexpected, winter-like frost that last three nights destroyed many of the promising grape buds in Chablis. On top of that, many of the 750 winemakers’ vineyards were hit in May by a savage hail storm with howling winds. In the space of a few minutes, entire vineyards were ruined; grapevines turned into nothing but barren twigs. The flooding that accompanied the springtime hail and frost didn’t help.

In a story reported by Public Radio International, Frederic Gueguen, president of the Chablis Winegrowers Association, said: “I went inside the house and in a few seconds, I saw my vineyard going from a green leafy state with long twigs, to nothing, zero, with a thick layer of hail on the ground.

I told myself it would never end, it was hitting so hard. The ground was white as in winter. It was very violent; you get hit in the face with this, you have tears in your eyes, and you feel lost.”

To add insult to injury, following the floods in Chablis, a killer fungus destroyed much of what was left of the 2016 harvest. And, Chablis winemakers say that

harvests are occurring earlier every year—some blame this on climate change— and freak storms are happening with alarming frequency.

In somet h i ng sounding like science fiction or the Cold War Reagan-era Star Wars initiative, 40 “anti-hail” cannons will be set up next year in Chablis, the idea being that the cannons will shoot silver iodide into storm clouds with the hope of turning hail into rain instead. It’s a sign of just how desperate things have gotten in Chablis. PJH

SCOOP UP THESE SAVINGS

1/16TH COLOR AD Trio is located just off the town square in downtown Jackson, and is owned & operated by local chefs with a passion for good food.

Our menu features contemporary American dishes inspired by classic bistro cuisine. Daily specials feature wild game, fish and meats.

Enjoy a glass of wine at the bar in front of the wood-burning oven and watch the chefs perform in the open kitchen.

Dinner Nightly at 5:30pm

Local is a modern American steakhouse and bar located on Jackson’s historic town square.

Serving locally raised beef and, regional game, fresh seafood and seasonally inspired food, Local offers the perfect setting for lunch, drinks or dinner.

Lunch 11:30am Monday-Saturday Dinner 5:30pm Nightly

45 S. Glenwood

HAPPY HOUR Daily 4-6:00pm

Available for private events & catering

307.201.1717 | LOCALJH.COM ON THE TOWN SQUARE

For reservations please call 734-8038

• FREE PRINT LISTING (50-75 WORDS) • FREE ONLINE LISTING ON PLANETJH.COM • 6 MONTH MINIMUM COMMITMENT • $25 A WEEK CASH OR $40 A WEEK TRADE ON HALF OFF JH

CONTACT YOUR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE TODAY TO LEARN MORE

SALES@PLANETJH.COM OR 307.732.0299

Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom and pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves!

LOCAL & DOMESTIC STEAKS SUSTAINABLE SEAFOOD OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK @ 5:30 TILL 10 JHCOWBOYSTEAKHOUSE.COM 307-733-4790

ASIAN & CHINESE TETON THAI Serving the world’s most exciting cuisine.

Teton Thai offers a splendid array of flavors: sweet, hot, sour, salt and bitter. All balanced and blended perfectly, satisfying the most discriminating palate. Open daily. 7432 Granite Loop Road in Teton Village, (307) 7330022 and in Driggs, (208) 787-8424, tetonthai. com.

THAI ME UP Home of Melvin Brewing Co. Freshly remodeled offering modern Thai cuisine in a relaxed setting. New tap system with 20 craft beers. New $8 wine list and extensive bottled beer menu. Open daily for dinner at 5pm.

Downtown at 75 East Pearl Street. View our tap list at thaijh.com/brews. 307-733-0005.

CONTINENTAL ALPENHOF Serving authentic Swiss cuisine, the Alpenhof features European style breakfast entrées and alpine lunch fare. Dine in the Bistro for a casual meal or join us in the Alpenrose dining room for a relaxed dinner experience. Breakfast 7:30am-10am. Coffee & pastry 10am-11:30am.

Lunch 11:30am-3pm. Aprés 3pm-5:30pm.

Dinner 6pm-9pm. For reservations at the Bistro or Alpenrose, call 307-733-3242.

THE BLUE LION

CAFE GENEVIEVE

Wurstfest DEC 10TH

Serving inspired home cooked classics in a historic log cabin. Enjoy brunch daily at 8 a.m., Dinner Tues-Sat 5 p.m. and Happy Hour Tues-Sat 3-5:30 p.m. featuring $5 glasses of wine, $5 specialty drinks, $3 bottled beer. 135 E. Broadway, (307) 732-1910, genevievejh. com.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

A Jackson Hole favorite for 38 years. Join us in the charming atmosphere of a historic home. Ask a local about our rack of lamb.

Serving fresh fish, elk, poultry, steaks, and vegetarian entrées. Live acoustic guitar music most nights. Early Bird Special: 20% off entire bill between 5:30-6:0pm, Open nightly at 5:30 p.m. Closed Tuesdays until ski season. Reservations recommended, walk-ins welcome. 160 N. Millward, (307) 733-3912, bluelionrestaurant.com.

ELEANOR’S

THE ALPENHOF LODGE

BREAKFAST, LUNCH & DINNER 7:30-9PM 307.733.3242 TETON VILLAGE

NOVEMBER 30, 2016 | 25

JOIN US AT THE ‘HOF,

Enjoy all the perks of fine dining, minus the dress code at Eleanor’s, serving rich, saucy dishes in a warm and friendly setting. Its bar alone is an attraction, thanks to reasonably priced drinks and a loyal crowd. Come get a belly-full of our two-time gold medal wings.

Open at 11 a.m. daily. 832 W. Broadway, (307) 733-7901.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

26 | NOVEMBER 30, 2016

FULL STEAM SUBS

Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally FRESH FOOD at reasonable prices, is a always a FUN PLACE to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel RIGHT AT HOME and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit.

Reservations at (307) 733-4913 3295 Village Drive • Teton Village, WY

www.mangymoose.com

Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner ••••••••• Open daily at 8am serving breakfast, lunch & dinner.

BYOB

145 N. Glenwood • (307) 734-0882 WWW.TETONLOTUSCAFE.COM

THE LOCALS

FAVORITE PIZZA 2012, 2013 & 2014

Two- fer Tuesday is back !

Two-for-one 12” pies all day. Dine-in or Carry-out.

(LIMIT 6 PIES PER CARRYOUT ORDER, PLEASE.)

•••••••••

$7

$4 Well Drink Specials

SPECIAL Slice, salad & soda

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Under the Pink Garter Theatre (307) 734-PINK • www.pinkygs.com

LOCAL Local, a modern American steakhouse and bar, is located on Jackson’s historic town square. Our menu features both classic and specialty cuts of locally-ranched meats and wild game alongside fresh seafood, shellfish, house-ground burgers, and seasonally-inspired food. We offer an extensive wine list and an abundance of locallysourced products. Offering a casual and vibrant bar atmosphere with 12 beers on tap as well as a relaxed dining room, Local is the perfect spot to grab a burger for lunch or to have drinks and dinner with friends. Lunch Mon-Sat 11:30am.

Dinner Nightly 5:30pm. 55 North Cache, (307) 201-1717, localjh.com.

LOTUS CAFE

LUNCH

TV Sports Packages and 7 Screens

The deli that’ll rock your belly. Jackson’s newest sub shop serves steamed subs, reubens, gyros, delicious all beef hot dogs, soups and salads. We offer Chicago style hot dogs done just the way they do in the windy city. Open daily11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Located just a short block north of the Town Square at 180 N. Center Street, (307) 733-3448.

11am - 9:30pm daily 20 W. Broadway 307.201.1472

PizzeriaCaldera.com

Serving organic, freshly-made world cuisine while catering to all eating styles. Endless organic and natural meat, vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free choices. Offering super smoothies, fresh extracted juices, espresso and tea. Full bar and house-infused botanical spirits. Open daily 8am for breakfast lunch and dinner. 145 N. Glenwood St., (307) 734-0882, tetonlotuscafe. com.

MANGY MOOSE Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally fresh food at reasonable prices, is a always a fun place to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel right at home and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit. Teton Village, (307) 733-4913, mangymoose.com.

FAMILY FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT PIZZAS, PASTAS & MORE

SNAKE RIVER BREWERY & RESTAURANT

HOUSEMADE BREAD & DESSERTS

America’s most award-winning microbrewery is serving lunch and dinner. Take in the atmosphere while enjoying wood-fired pizzas, pastas, burgers, sandwiches, soups, salads and desserts. $9 lunch menu. Happy hour 4 to 6 p.m., including tasty hot wings. The freshest beer in the valley, right from the source! Free WiFi. Open 11:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. 265 S. Millward. (307) 739-2337, snakeriverbrewing.com.

FRESH, LOCALLY SOURCED OFFERINGS TAKE OUT AVAILABLE Dining room and bar open nightly at 5:00pm (307) 733-2460 • 2560 Moose Wilson Road • Wilson, WY

A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965

TRIO ®

OFF SEASON SPECIAL Large Specialty Pizza ADD: Wings (8 pc)

Medium Pizza (1 topping) Stuffed Cheesy Bread

$ 13 99

for an extra $5.99/each

(307) 733-0330 520 S. Hwy. 89 • Jackson, WY

2FOR1 ENTREES

Valid through December 8 | Good all night Open nightly 5:30pm | Closed Tuesdays until ski season

733-3912

160 N. Millward • Reservations recommended Reserve online at bluelionrestaurant.com

Owned and operated by Chefs with a passion for good food, Trio is located right off the Town square in downtown Jackson. Featuring a variety of cuisines in a relaxed atmosphere, Trio is famous for its wood-oven pizzas, specialty cocktails and waffle fries with bleu cheese fondue. Dinner nightly at 5:30 p.m. Reservations. (307) 734-8038 or bistrotrio.com.

ITALIAN CALICO A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965, the Calico continues to be one of the most popular restaurants in the Valley. The Calico offers the

right combination of really good food, (much of which is grown in our own gardens in the summer), friendly staff; a reasonably priced menu and a large selection of wine. Our bar scene is eclectic with a welcoming vibe. Open nightly at 5 p.m. 2560 Moose Wilson Rd., (307) 733-2460.

MEXICAN EL ABUELITO Serving authentic Mexican cuisine and appetizers in a unique Mexican atmosphere. Home of the original Jumbo Margarita. Featuring a full bar with a large selection of authentic Mexican beers. Lunch served weekdays 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Nightly dinner specials. Open seven days, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. 385 W. Broadway, (307) 733-1207.

PIZZA DOMINO’S PIZZA Hot and delicious delivered to your door. Handtossed, deep dish, crunchy thin, Brooklyn style and artisan pizzas; bread bowl pastas, and oven baked sandwiches; chicken wings, cheesy breads and desserts. Delivery. 520 S. Hwy. 89 in Kmart Plaza, (307) 733-0330.

PINKY G’S The locals favorite! Voted Best Pizza in Jackson Hole 2012, 2013 and 2014. Seek out this hidden gem under the Pink Garter Theatre for NY pizza by the slice, salads, stromboli’s, calzones and many appetizers to choose from. Try the $7 ‘Triple S’ lunch special.Happy hours 10 p.m. - 12 a.m. Sun.- Thu. Text PINK to 71441 for discounts.

Delivery and take-out. Open daily 11a.m. to 2 a.m. 50 W. Broadway, (307) 734-PINK.

PIZZERIA CALDERA Jackson Hole’s only dedicated stone-hearth oven pizzeria, serving Napolitana-style pies using the freshest ingredients in traditional and creative combinations. Five local micro-brews on tap, a great selection of red and white wines by the glass and bottle, and one of the best views of the Town Square from our upstairs deck. Daily lunch special includes slice, salad or soup, any two for $8. Happy hour: half off drinks by the glass from 4 - 6 daily. Dine in or carry out. Or order online at PizzeriaCaldera.com, or download our app for iOS or Android. Open from 11am - 9:30pm daily at 20 West Broadway. 307-201-1472.

SWEETS MEETEETSE CHOCOLATIER Meeteetse Chocolatier brings their unique blend of European style chocolates paired with “Wyomingesque” flavors. Prickly Pear Cactus Fruit, Sage, Huckleberry and Sarsaparilla lead off a decadent collection of truffles, Belgian chocolates and hand made caramel. Sample Single Origin and Organic chocolates at our Tasting Station. Open Weekends, 265 W. Broadway. 307-413-8296. meeteetsechocolatier. com

SUDOKU

SAVE UP TO 50% OFF

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

JACKSON HOLE FEED & PET

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WHITE BUFFALO CLUB

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L.A.TIMES “HOLD THE TOMATO” By Garry Morse

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 4, 2016

ACROSS 1 7 11 15 19 20 22 23

88 Sharpens 90 Six-time Hugo winner Frederik 91 __ sleep 92 Recently stolen 93 Link up with 94 Hooded snake 95 Butter-yielding bean 98 Micro- ending 99 Finishes 101 Haul in à la the Big Bad Wolf, as a wrecked vehicle?

106 Leeds lot 107 Letters in an arrest records database 108 En __: in the lead, in French 109 Early Beatle Sutcliffe 112 Within: Pref.

113 Where a chant of “Well done, blokes!” might start?

118 China neighbor 119 Kitchen whistler 120 Just as planned 121 Specks on a screen 122 Schumann quartet: Abbr.

123 This, in Toledo 124 Text __

16

82 83 84 85 89 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 100 101 102 103

Informal pricing words They may be choked back Word on a fast food sign Waves-against-dock sound Bunting relative London taxi As you like it New England tourist mecca Grape-Nuts creator Lawyer’s org.

Marks for a 124-Across Journalist Roberts What some spits do Bone marrow lymphocyte Polynesian porch “Entertaining Mr. Sloane” playwright 104 Negotiations 105 Fifth cen. pope called “The Great” 109 Paving stone 110 Palm Pre predecessor 111 Password creator 114 Pinup’s leg 115 Stats in NBA bios 116 Sandwich that hints at this puzzle’s theme 117 Yokohama yes

NOVEMBER 30, 2016 | 27

Introducer of the first side-byside refrigerator 17 Dr.’s orders 18 “God helps __ ... ” 21 __ Park: Edison lab site 24 ’60s-’70s crime drama 30 Dugout VIP 32 Carpentry pin 33 Warm Argentina month 34 “My Eyes Adored You” singer 35 Place for a shoe 36 Like many cks.

37 Pro __ 38 Site of the “Shall We Dance?” dance 43 Butcher’s waste 44 Marx Brothers staple 45 Ford muscle car, to devotees 46 West of Atlanta 47 “If you __ ... ” 49 Floral neckwear 50 Like saltimbocca, flavorwise 51 GOP org.

52 Rub the wrong way?

53 Deliberate 55 Carefree 57 Drum played with a fife DOWN 58 Promise 1 “Power Lunch” airer 60 Yale School of 2 Kinks title woman with “a dark Management degs. brown voice” 63 Brew hue 3 Like 64 City in northern 4 Patsy France 5 Kiss like a dog, perhaps 65 Pelvic bone 6 Happen to 66 Cowboys’ home, 7 Actress Lindsay familiarly 8 Neruda’s “__ to Wine” 68 Foppish accessory 9 ’80s missile prog.

69 Data transfer unit 10 Lines of squad cars, maybe 70 To this point 11 Simply not done 73 “__ so you!”

12 Lute family member 76 Six-pack you can’t 13 Evoke screams from drink 14 Pressing 78 Tablet download 15 Patrick on a track 79 “If only” 80 Central idea

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Like some felonies Get whipped “The Nutcracker” garb Missile with a flight Rep’s bad news Vegas bigwig Asian nurse Warning technologically unavailable in Titanic times?

25 Second start 26 Half-__: coffee order 27 Island band The __ Men 28 Plastic __ Band 29 Helps keep track 31 Passionate maintenance of one’s Cuisinart?

35 “This fortress built by Nature for __”: Shakespeare 39 Suspicious of 40 It merged with SAG in 2012 41 Kind of TV personality 42 Pitney’s partner 44 Prince __ Khan 45 Prince Buster music genre 48 Tetra- doubled 49 One who doesn’t get out 50 At age 88, Betty White was its oldest host, briefly 51 Jah worshipers 54 Fired by a waiter?

56 Forgetting how to stay up?

59 University of San Marcos city 61 Form 1040 fig.

62 NASA, for one 63 Out at the station 67 Feline snitch?

71 “Shucks” 72 Second Amendment word 74 __ Tomé 75 Migratory herring 77 Junkyard guards?

81 Rhinos and hippos 86 Ducks 87 Hunk’s pride

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

28 | NOVEMBER 30, 2016

The Power of Silence How to solve some of life’s conundrums without saying a word.

mental/emotional entertainment keeping me from deep inner peace. I realized how often that must happen. And it became important to be silent and catch myself and let it go.

I also learned that silence is not scary or lonely; it is peaceful and strangely full. Some traditions refer to this silence underneath all the internal and external noise as the void.

It is a place and a state of being filled with stillness and pure potential—fully pregnant with possibilities before they are activated.

External manmade noise

“Silence isn’t empty; it is full of answers.”

- Unknown

Research It was a big “wow” moment for me when I read the following two findings about silence.

1. Two minutes of silence is more relaxing than listening to “relaxing music,” based on blood pressure measurements and blood circulation in the brain.

2. Two hours of daily silence led to the development of new cells in the hippocampus, a key brain region associated with learning, memory and emotion.

Further measured benefits of silence/stillness include: cleansing and detoxifying the mind, expanding creativity, boosting the immune system, reducing stress, experiencing peaceful calm, nourishing the heart, and letting you see your inner life.

Spirit On a spiritual level, silence sets the stage for seeing clearly how much internal mind chatter goes on, along with how many stories we make up and remain mired in. Most important, it becomes obvious how all of that interferes with inner peace, mental clarity, our own true nature, and receiving the higher guidance of our soul.

A personal experience Some years ago I participated in a weekend-long Vipassana meditation. We meditated in silence, walked in silence, ate in silence and kept the silence even when we were not meditating. What happens after a while is you become the observer of your own thoughts. Then it is possible to notice if they are true, and to just let them pass through.

One afternoon while meditating, I literally witnessed myself creating a fictional story in my mind and having all kinds of emotions related to my completely made up story. I even found myself crying about it. It was a big “ah-ha” moment to observe that this was all made up, and it was self-created

It’s no surprise that noise pollution produces negative effects in people. In fact, when we are in locations where there is a lot of external noise, it is so stressful that we often stop hearing it. (I once lived over a subway station and never heard it.) The problem is that even though we cut off awareness of the noise, it continues to escalate stress in our bodies.

Nature heals One of the simplest ways to connect with silence is to go for a silent walk, or bike ride, or ski, or just sit outside in silence.

Leave the phone and the ipod at home. Nature’s sounds are intentionally designed to be like a symphony of peace and recalibration to our DNA and our souls.

Five more suggestions Turn off the radio when you are driving.

Enjoy an unplugged evening.

Notice the silence right before you fall asleep.

Practice yoga.

Meditate for 15 to 20 minutes a day.

No idle brain When the heart is open and the brain can be calmed by silence, we can finally tap into our inner stream of wisdom and inspiration. The brain is resting from being on guard, having to process external and self-created noise. Therefore, it can actively process and bring us information from our higher self.

In silence, peace Silence and peace belong to all of us. It is who we are—pure awareness. In silence it is possible to experience the spiritual wisdom and scientifically proven fact that we are all interconnected; we are all one. Then this is no longsome ‘“woo-woo” cliché. When enough people embody inner peace, it can build to a tipping point and create international peace. PJH

Carol Mann is a longtime Jackson resident, radio personality, former Grand Targhee Resort owner, author, and clairvoyant.

Got a Cosmic Question? Email carol@yourcosmiccafe.com

WELLNESS COMMUNITY

These businesses provide health or wellness services for the Jackson Hole community and its visitors.

Enjoy

TM

®

Transcendental Meditation Center of Jackson Hole Introduction - Instruction Refreshers - Advanced Programs

307-690-4511

www.tm.org/transcendentalmeditation-jackson

DEEP TISSUE • SPORTS MASSAGE • THAI MASSAGE MYOFASCIAL RELEASE CUPPING

No physician referral required.

(307) 733-5577•1090 S Hwy 89

www.fourpinespt.com

MASSAGE THERAPIST NATIONALLY CERTIFIED

253-381-2838

180 N Center St, Unit 8 abhyasamassage.com

NOVEMBER 30, 2016 | 29

TO ADVERTISE IN THE WELLNESS DIRECTORY, CONTACT JEN AT PLANET JACKSON HOLE AT 307-732-0299 OR SALES@PLANETJH.COM.

Oliver Tripp, NCTM

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

Professional and Individualized Treatments • Sports/Ortho Rehab • Neck and Back Rehab • Rehabilitative Pilates • Incontinence Training • Pelvic Pain Rehab • Lymphedema Treatments Norene Christensen PT, DSc, OCS, CLT Rebekah Donley PT, DPT, CPI Mark Schultheis PT, CSCS Kim Armington PTA, CPI

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

30 | NOVEMBER 30, 2016

Food,

glorious food!

Yes,we Planetoids live to eat.

Look for our next foodie issue coming December 21st

Book now

for Early Bird discount rates of 40% off!

Deadline: November 30 th To advertise, contact Jen or Caroline at 307-732-0299 or email sales@planetjh.com.

SUPPORT LOCAL JOURNALISM SUPPORT THE PEOPLE WHO SHARE YOUR PASSION ABOUT ALL THINGS JACKSON HOLE. Evenitatis int.

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REDNECK PERSPECTIVE SATIRE

CSI Hog Island Investigating a crime of the worst kind.

BY CLYDE THORNHILL

I

received a call from Hog Island Trailer No. 35 about a possible 537, a.k.a.: a crime involving swine. I pulled up with the team in our Hummer. There were five of us, three men, each a body builder, and the two women were trim with healthy bosoms (as is required for crime scene investigators). Stacy, the victim, was dressed in a ratty pink robe moaning and rocking her baby. She seemed in a bit of a trance, dazed by the crime that had been perpetrated on her.

“I cooked a whole package of bacon,” she said. “I went to my bedroom to change into my afternoon slippers and grabbed Luke for his daily allotment of pork. When I returned the bacon was gone.”

We pulled out our flashlights and began to scrutinize not only the stove, but the pantry and counter top as well. My flashlight didn’t seem as bright as usual. That’s when I noticed the kitchen light was on.

I immediately turned it off and the flashlight beam shown much brighter. I had our grease splatter expert examine the stove.

“There’s been bacon cooked here,” she said, confirming the victim’s story.

Our chemical analyst expert then moved in and smelled the grease. “This is no normal bacon,” he said. We all exchanged forceful yet concerned glances.

He licked the frying pan, smacked his lips and declared, “I would say Oklahoma raised Tamworth, a 10-month-old male, 11 months at most, fattened on soybean and cured with apple and pepper. We’re talking at least 6 bucks a pound, 10 if you buy it at Whole Grocer.”

What is someone in Hog Island doing with that kind of bacon? They eat Oscar Mayer bacon, or at best Hormel. And they aren’t even allowed in Whole Grocer because they pick out the sausage in the scrambled egg bin at the breakfast bar.

This mystery had many layers.

I told Linda to check out the garbage can. She was a ballistics expert but I like the way she looks bent over. She dressed in biohazard gear then dug around and pulled out an empty box of Cheerios.

“My god!” I said. “It looks like we’re dealing with a cereal killer.”

There was something missing. Then it hit me. “What is it that you need to cook bacon?” I asked. “Come on people! Think!

We have bacon, a frying pan, and a heat source; what’s missing? They were silent a minute, then one yelled, “A fork to turn the bacon!”

“Exactly,” I said. “Check the sink.”

There was no fork. Just then I glanced out the window. A man was sitting out on the neighboring trailer deck, their eyes glazed over, a fork lying beside him on the ground.

“Grab him!” I yelled.

We surrounded him and after we presented the facts, he confessed. I had to walk away to keep from strangling him.

What kind of degenerate would steal bacon and not even leave a burnt crumb for the CSI team? We drove away while the background music built to a crescendo. PJH

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) A journalist dared composer John Cage to “summarize himself in a nutshell.” Cage said, “Get yourself out of whatever cage you find yourself in.” He might have added, “Avoid the nutshells that anyone tries to put you in.” This is always fun work to attend to, of course, but I especially recommend it to you Sagittarians right now. You’re in the time of year that’s close to the moment when you first barged out of your mom’s womb, where you had been housed for months. The coming weeks will be an excellent phase to attempt a similar if somewhat less extravagant trick.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Hundreds of years ago, the Catholic Church’s observance of Lent imposed a heavy burden. During this six-week period, extending from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday, believers were expected to cleanse their sins through acts of self-denial. For example, they weren’t supposed to eat meat on Fridays. Their menus could include fish, however.

And this loophole was expanded even further in the 17th century when the Church redefined beavers as being fish.

(They swim well, after all.) I’m in favor of you contemplating a new loophole in regard to your own self-limiting behaviors, Capricorn. Is there a taboo you observe that no longer makes perfect sense? Out of habit, do you deny yourself a pleasure or indulgence that might actually be good for you? Wriggle free of the constraints.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) “The Pacific Ocean was overflowing the borders of the map,” wrote Pablo Neruda in his poem “The Sea.” “There was no place to put it,” he continued. “It was so large, wild and blue that it didn’t fit anywhere. That’s why it was left in front of my window.” This passage is a lyrical approximation of what your life could be like in 2017. In other words, lavish, elemental, expansive experiences will be steadily available to you. Adventures that might have seemed impossibly big and unwieldy in the past will be just the right size. And it all begins soon.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) “I have a deep fear of being too much,” writes poet Michelle K. “That one day I will find my someone, and they will realize that I am a hurricane. That they will step back and be intimidated by my muchness.” Given the recent astrological omens, Pisces, I wouldn’t be shocked if you’ve been having similar feelings. But now here’s the good news: Given the astrological omens of the next nine months, I suspect the odds will be higher than usual that you’ll encounter brave souls who’ll be able to handle your muchness. They may or may not be soulmates or your one-and-only. I suggest you welcome them as they are, with all of their muchness.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Are your collaborative projects (including the romantic kind) evolving at a slower pace than you expected? Have they not grown as deep and strong as you’ve wished they would? If so, I hope you’re perturbed about it. Maybe that will motivate you to stop tolerating the stagnation. Here’s my recommendation: Don’t adopt a more serious and intense attitude. Instead, get loose and frisky. Inject a dose of blithe spirits into your togetherness, maybe even some high jinks and rowdy experimentation. The cosmos has authorized you to initiate ingenious surprises.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) I don’t recommend that you buy a cat-o’-nine-tails and whip yourself in a misguided effort to exorcize your demons. The truth is, those insidious troublemakers exult when you abuse yourself. They draw perverse sustenance from it. In fact, their strategy is to fool you into treating yourself badly. So, no. If you hope to drive away the saboteurs huddled in the sacred temple of your psyche, your best bet is to shower yourself with tender care, even luxurious blessings. The pests won’t like that, and—if you commit to this crusade for an extended time—they will eventually flee.

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Nobel Prize-winning novelist Gabriel García Márquez loved yellow roses. He often had a fresh bloom on his writing desk as he worked, placed there every morning by his wife Mercedes Barcha. In accordance with the astrological omens, I invite you to consider initiating a comparable ritual. Is there a touch of beauty you would like to inspire you on a regular basis? It there a poetic gesture you could faithfully perform for a person you love?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) “For a year I watched as something entered and then left my body,” testified Jane Hirshfield in her poem “The Envoy.” What was that mysterious something? Terror or happiness? She didn’t know. Nor could she decipher “how it came in” or “how it went out.” It hovered “where words could not reach it. It slept where light could not go.” Her experience led her to conclude that “There are openings in our lives of which we know nothing.” I bring this meditation to your attention, Virgo, because I suspect you are about to tune in to a mysterious opening. But unlike Hirshfield, I think you’ll figure out what it is. And then you will respond to it with verve and intelligence.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) A reporter at the magazine Vanity Fair asked David Bowie, “What do you consider your greatest achievement?”

Bowie didn’t name any of his albums, videos, or performances. Rather, he answered, “Discovering morning.” I suspect that you Libras will attract and generate marvels if you experiment with accomplishments like that in the coming weeks. So yes, try to discover or rediscover morning. Delve into the thrills of beginnings. Magnify your appreciation for natural wonders that you usually take for granted. Be seduced by sources that emanate light and heat. Gravitate toward what’s fresh, blossoming, just-in-its-early-stages.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) According to traditional astrology, you Scorpios are not prone to optimism. You’re more often portrayed as connoisseurs of smoldering enigmas and shadowy intrigue and deep questions. But one of the most creative and successful Scorpios of the 20th century did not completely fit this description. French artist Claude Monet was renowned for his delightful paintings of sensuous outdoor landscapes. “Every day I discover even more beautiful things,” he testified. “It is intoxicating me, and I want to paint it all. My head is bursting.” Monet is your patron saint in the coming weeks. You will have more potential to see as he did than you’ve had in a long time.

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

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NOVEMBER 30, 2016 | 31

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) For you Tauruses, December is “I Accept and Love and Celebrate Myself Exactly How I Am Right Now” Month.

To galvanize yourself, play around with this declaration

by Oscar-winning Taurus actress Audrey Hepburn: “I’m a long way from the human being I’d like to be, but I’ve decided I’m not so bad after all.” Here are other thoughts to draw on during the festivities: 1. “If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone.” (Barbara De Angelis). 2. “The hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you be somebody else.” (E. E. Cummings). 3. “To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as

much as our perfections.” (Sandra Bierig). 4. “We cannot change anything until we accept it.” (Carl Jung).

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ARIES (March 21-April 19) “I frequently tramped eight or ten miles through the deepest snow,” wrote naturalist Henry David Thoreau in Walden, “to keep an appointment with a beech-tree, or a yellow birch, or an old acquaintance among the pines.”

I’d love to see you summon that level of commitment to your important rendezvous in the coming weeks, Aries.

Please keep in mind, though, that your “most important rendezvous” are more likely to be with wild things, unruly wisdom, or primal breakthroughs than with pillars of stability, committee meetings, and business-as-usual.

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