Planet JH 05.20.15

JACKSON HOLE'S ALTERNATIVE VOICE | PLANETJH.COM | MAY 20-26, 2015

TRANSIT UNLIMITED START continues to expand but is everybody on the bus?

BY JAKE NICHOLS

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THE PLANET TEAM

SALES ASSOCIATES Jennifer Marlatt / jmarlatt@planetjh.com Caroline Zieleniewski / caroline@planetjh.com COPY EDITOR Brielle Schaeffer CONTIBUTORS Mike Bressler, Rob Brezsny, Aaron Davis, Elizabeth Koutrelakos, Carol Mann, Andrew Munz, Jake Nichols, Dr. McKenzie Steiner, ND, Tom Tomorrow, Jean Webber, Jim Woodmencey

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PUBLISHER Copperfield Publishing, John Saltas GENERAL MANAGER Andy Sutcliffe / asutcliffe@planetjh.com EDITOR Jake Nichols Robyn Vincent / editor@planetjh.com ART DIRECTOR Jeana Haarman / art@planetjh.com SALES DIRECTOR Jen Tillotson / jen@planetjh.com

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JACKSON HOLE WEATHER ALMANAC: MAY 20-26, 2015 from METEOROLOGIST JIM WOODMENCEY

AVERAGE MONTHLY MAY PRECIPITATION

1.88 Inches

RECORD PRECIPITATION IN MAY

6.02 inches in 1980

AVERAGE MAY SNOWFALL

1 inch

RECORD MAY SNOWFALL

14.5 inches

Light the backyard barbeques and let the summer begin! Memorial Day Weekend has ceremoniously been seen as the start of the summer season, although we are still almost a month away from the official start of summer on the Solstice. As snowlines retreat further uphill, expect to see a flood of Winnebagos entering the valley. Most of those are passing through Jackson Hole as they swim upstream towards Yellowstone.

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The last two weekends were cooler than normal. Isn’t it about time for a warm and sunny weekend? Yes, but even without any snow on the ground the best we can usually muster is highs cracking 70-degrees.

This week, 65-degrees is par for the course. Achieving 80-degrees in May happens rarely. Back in the Dust Bowl years Jackson was feeling the heat this entire week, with record highs in the 80s established each day, records that are yet to be broken.

JIM WOODMENCEY has been forcasting the weather here for more than 20 years. You can find more Jackson Hole weather information at www.mountainweather.com

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The coldest we have been in Jackson during this week leading up to Memorial Day is 13-degrees, which happened on May 21, 1975.

Nowhere near that this week, and we are also lucky to not still have snow on the ground this third week of May. Some years it is still quite white in town, like it was just four years ago with 16 inches of snow on the ground in town, yet to melt, on May 26, 2011. This year, we are ready to cut the grass.

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PROPS & DISSES

Opinion by JAKE NICHOLS

@theplanetjh

Gory incidents in YNP

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The book Death in Yellowstone nearly had another couple of chapters written last week.

A bison gored a 16-year-old exchange student from Taiwan on Friday while she posed for a picture with the beast in Yellowstone National Park. Reports say she was fewer than six feet from the buffalo when it charged and speared her.

The teen suffered serious but non-lifethreatening injuries. She was taken to the Old Faithful Clinic where she was flown by helicopter for additional medical treatment.

When rangers responded, they found bystanders still hanging out within 10 feet of the bison. Park officials recommend a buffer of at least 25 feet for bison. The animals often act and look like lumbering cattle, lending the impression it is safe Too close PHOTO: Ruffin Prevost, Yellowstone Gate to approach for the perfect photo op. The animals can move quickly, however, and often become perturbed in a second’s notice.

This and other wildlife interactions are a constant reminder that tourists — especially foreigners who do not understand informational material handed out at the park’s entrance — are almost always to blame when Yellowstone’s wild inhabitants cause injury or death. Yellowstone is not a zoo.

Park rangers were also called out May 10 when a 71-year-old man stumbled while taking a picture in the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. He fell 25 feet but was able to stop himself at the edge of a cliff. Rangers threw a rope down to the man and secured the other end to a tree. Later, the Yellowstone Technical Rescue Team responded to the scene and set up a system of ropes and pulleys to carry out the rescue.

Early riser?

Elk antler buying: What happened

Elk antler prying: What didn’t happen

Elkfest has been a target for pro-life demonstrators to flock to Jackson with their messy messages.

Arrests made during a 2011 protest cost the town $225,000 in a settlement of a federal lawsuit brought

by Mark Holick, a pastor with Spirit One Christian Ministries from Wichita, Kansas.

According to the Casper Star-Tribune, Rev. Chester E. Gallagher of Las Vegas and Operation Save America filed a suit last week in the U.S. District Court in Cheyenne about the same protest. They name the Town of Jackson and former police Lt. Robert Gilliam as defendants.

Visit our website

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TetonWyo.org The public meeting agendas and minutes for the Board of County Commissioners and Planning Commission can also be found in the Public Notices section of the JH News and Guide.

MAY 20, 2015 | 5

If I were a lawyer, I would arduously work for the defense of Rev. Chester Gallagher and his Operation Save America in their lawsuit against the Town of Jackson. His suit about being unlawfully arrest during a legitimate protest against abortion in 2011 is undeniably contrary to American constitutional rights.

While I personally have a strong disagreement with the organization’s particular views on the topic, as a native born American citizen with respect and knowledge for its written foundation of law, I recognize their absolute right of expression in the protest.

Were they not conducting their protest in a peaceful and non-violent manner? Were they irrationally behaving in a mode of disturbing the peace? They may have displayed some graphic images to instill their message but that is of legal standing dating back to early America when those whom protested in grievance paraded grotesque images in effigy throughout the streets of the land.

Lead me to the gallows if I am incorrect but I do believe that the reverend and his clan, in accordance with the United States Constitution, had, and still has, every legal right to peacefully protest and express their views in Jackson or anywhere else.

Were it not for the bravado of a few Jackson brown-shirted storm troopers trying to protect the image of their little hamlet rather than their duty of simply protecting the peace, this whole matter would be an innocent issue typically brushed under the cowboy carpet.

There have been all too many instances of late, both regional and national, where the constitution has been abused, trampled on or simply ignored. Is our nation going to abide by this proclaimed hallowed document of law or merely allow it to age into irrelevant obscurity within a museum as a useless piece of parchment?

Following is an editorial from frequent contributor Patrick Troiani as our guest shot for Props & Disses

For all MEETING AGENDAS AND MINUTES WEEKLY CALENDAR JOB OPENINGS SOLICITATIONS FOR BIDS PUBLIC NOTICES AND OTHER VALUABLE INFORMATION

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Congrats to the Boy Scouts for a near-record haul last Saturday. The annual Elk Antler Auction took place on a cool, wet day but spirits were hardly dampened.

A total of 10,609 pounds of antlers were sold at the auction, short of last year’s record-setting 13,698 pounds. Price per pound was up, though. One hundred-forty registered bidders paid an average of $17.03 per pound for sheds at last weekend’s auction. That was $5.76 better than the 10-year average of $11.27.

The elk refuge receives 75 percent of the proceeds to help fund its operations.

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T

he historic Wort Hotel is not trying anything radically new with their expansion of the Silver Dollar Bar; instead, managers want to restore its heritage and bring it back to the forefront of entertainment in Jackson Hole.

On August 5, 1980, a fire consumed much of the second floor of The Wort, forcing them to cut the bar into pieces and remove it from the building, moving it to the vault in the Jackson State Bank while they renovated the hotel. Before the fire, the area where the new expansion project is currently underway was called The The Silver Dollar Expansion at Greenback Lounge, Jackson Hole’s The Wort unveils this weekend. premier concert venue at the time.

The hotel was forced to shut down PHOTO: JAKE NICHOLS after the fire and the town was left in suspense as to whether or not it would reopen its doors after the tragedy. Sure enough, only a few days after the flames subsided, the hotel posted a sign out front declaring, “We’ll be back,” dispelling the concerns of the town. The Wort reopened their doors in June of 1981 with a celebration that kicked off the annual “Old West Days” celebration on Town Square. When the hotel reopened its doors, however, the Greenback Lounge on the southwest corner of the building was no more. It was converted to guest rooms, a gift shop and office space.

Bill Baxter, owner of The Wort Hotel, has wanted to expand the bar to its original capacity for quite some time. Not only is this an intelligent business move for the Knoxville, Tennessee native, but it also jives with the hotel’s long-standing committment to maintaining its historical old west mystique in a city growing rapidly around it.

The expansion will “build on the music momentum and return the Wort to its grandeur and rich tradition of entertainment,” said Jim Waldrop, general manager of The Wort. “The Greenback Lounge was once a linchpin in the Jackson Hole community—it was the place to be.”

In turn, the Wort is sparing no expense on its new sound system, he said.

The hotel wants to become a premier venue for music and establish itself as the destination it once was. The Wort will increase its music bill to four nights a week: Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

The new space, to be dubbed the Silver Dollar Showroom, will have a stage in the southeast corner of the room, across from the second bar. This second bar is a replica of the namesake Silver Dollar bar that already exists, though about two-thirds of its size.

Waldrop would not disclose how many silver dollars would adorn the new bar — yet. The Wort has a competition on its Facebook page to see who can guess the number of silver dollars embedded in the new bar. PJH hint: the original bar contains 2,032 uncirculated Morgan silver dollars from the Denver Mint. The winner receives one night’s stay in The Wort Hotel, breakfast and dinner for two in the Silver Dollar Grill, a Meet Me at The Wort coffee table book, and a reserved table at a future Showroom event.

The Showroom will not only act as an extension of the already popular Silver Dollar Bar, but will be a space where banquets and other private events can be hosted behind a retractable wall.

Not only has the hotel been working hard to get this construction project completed by Saturday, but employees have been tirelessly preparing for the increased business they will see as a result of expanding the bar’s capacity.

They have purchased larger equipment for their kitchen, enlarged service stations, streamlined the menu and hired what they hope to be more than enough additional staff to accommodate the new volume of guests.

The expansion is about The Wort’s commitment to the local community first and foremost, Waldrop said. Not only in the sense that managers are reinvigorating a historical landmark and a popular watering hole, but they’re making a more concerted effort to include local breweries on their taps and to employ local musicians.

The Wort has planned its Grand Celebration opening of the Silver Dollar Showroom to coincide with Old West Days celebration on Saturday, coming full circle to a weekend they started when they reopened their doors after the fire in the 1980s.

bedroom communities.

“We’ve really focused on serving the local work trip both between town and the Village, but also Alpine and Driggs/Victor,” Wackerly said. “Adding these two lines is one of the things I’m most proud of. I think visitor ridership has stayed about the same but local ridership has just boomed.”

Rush hour routes to Star Valley began in late 2003.

Wackerly tested that market first before tackling the intricacies of crossing state and county lines with a run to Driggs/Victor, which was added in April 2007. These commuter runs average about 20 to 25 passengers per trip and nearly pay for themselves from fares — an achievement almost unheard of in an industry that relies heavily on subsidies.

“Part of the commitment I made to the Town of Jackson and Teton County was that we were going to use little or none of their money to fund that service,” Wackerly said. “Currently, we are running in the range of about 70 to 75 percent fares collected by riders. The rest of our costs are covered by federal money.”

Running “green” or in the red?

see START BUS, page 8

MAY 20, 2015 | 7

Bussing in employees fits well into the mass transit model. Cherry-picking heavy load times like the morning and afternoon commutes, combined with targeted pick-up and drop-off points, helps ensure buses are running full or close to it. Offhours and less popular trips mean empty buses, a malady that destroys a carrier’s bottom line and invites mass transit detractors to claim buses are hardly environmentally friendly.

START is not without its critics. Large buses often make in-town runs with only a handful of riders on board. Taxpayers’ blood boils when they see behemoth buses commandeering town streets with almost no passengers. Do transit agencies

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Eagle, Colo., and the first four hybrid buses in the state of Wyoming. With Phase I of the bus facility in Karns Meadow now complete, most of the coaches are stored indoors.

Perhaps Wackerly’s proudest accomplishment is the shift in thinking he’s witnessed regarding mass transit. He’s not sure if it’s a product of a new generation or power of place.

“The one thing I’ve noticed is how people here were much more excited about public transit,” Wackerly said. “They see it as very important to the community. They see it as a solution to a lot of their concerns about the future. That was just a whole different feel from what I saw back east.

In Mansfield, they were glad to provide [public transit] but their mentality was: ‘don’t expect it to grow or don’t expect to do much more than you’re doing.’”

When Wackerly first came to Jackson, ridership was mainly tourists – about a 75-25 percent visitorto-locals ratio, he said. It’s now turned completely around. He estimates 75 percent of the riders live and work in the area.

Enticing more riders through fare reduction or convenient routes is always something Wackerly is willing to explore. Removing vehicles from the roads is something politicians have championed to alleviate traffic congestion and carbon emissions, but the reality of packing buses with potential car drivers is never easy, especially in the West.

“I think there is a little more of that independent spirit in the West than back East,” he said. “[People in the West think]: ‘I’m not going to ride the bus because I want my own vehicle and control where I’m going. I don’t want to ride with a bunch of other people and be dependent on their schedule.’”

With vehicle traffic up 5 percent per year on commuter routes, the “low-hanging fruit,” Wackerly said, was adding bus service to Jackson’s

JOSH MYERS

The new bus garage meets green building standards necessary to be granted LEEDs Silver Status Certification.

When fully completed, the new facility will be used to maintain vehicles operated

by START Bus, town public works, police department, sheriff’s office and fire department.

The explosion of ridership for START Bus under Wackerly is astounding. Since his arrival, START has nearly tripled ridership and routes. Additional trips to bedroom communities in Star and Teton valleys, along with nearly 100 runs to Teton Village during the ski season, helped the transit system seat 900,000 riders in 2014 – a record high.

Wackerly has also secured more than $40 million in federal and state grants, allowing him to reduce dependency on town and county subsidies by 20 percent.

When Wackerly took over, START was parking nearly 20 buses outdoors at the fairgrounds. The organization now boasts 35 vehicles in the fleet including four newly purchased used buses from

BY JAKE NICHOLS

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STARTing to pop: All aboard

START continues to expand but is everybody on the bus?

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T

eton County’s mass transit system begins and ends with START. The Southern Teton Area Rapid Transit authority has grown (some would say ballooned) by leaps and bounds during its 35-year existence.

Michael Wackerly has steered START over the hill, down the canyon, and finally parked it into a controversial bus garage. The director of the joint agency mass transit system will be turning in his bus pass at the end of the month after doing exactly what he did at his last gig back east: grind away for more than a dozen years implementing and improving service until a bus barn eventually gets built.

“When I first started in Mansfield, Ohio [as director of the Richland County Bus System] it was 1979 and the first thing they told me was, ‘we need to build a bus garage,’” Wackerly said. “I finally built it in 1990. It took 11 years. Here, it was almost exactly the same. I started in 2002 and right away I was saying we need a bus garage. It took 11 years to make that happen.”

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from START BUS, page 7

START Board meets regularly with architects, political leaders. PHOTO: JOSH MYERS tint windows and add exterior wraps to reduce air conditioning costs or are they trying to cover up the fact that so many seats are empty?

Statistics are finagled to suit every argument.

The 2010 Department of Energy’s Transportation Energy Data Book states transporting each passenger one mile by car requires 3,447 BTUs of energy. Transporting each passenger one mile by bus requires 4,118 BTUs. By this metric, buses are less “green” than advocates like to think they are.

However, the numbers smooth out when buses run closer to capacity.

In 2013, buses in the U.S. carried an average of 11.1 passengers. The median bus transit agency carried just 6.5 passengers. But empty buses are a fact of public transit and don’t always indicate poor scheduling or wasted trips. Transit apologists like Jarrett Walker say transit lines need to serve the public even when it’s cost-prohibitive.

“The people served by a low-ridership route might not be populous enough to make a route through a low-density area particularly profitable, but the service is still valuable,” he said in a

blog called “Empty buses serve a purpose.” “It serves a goal of coverage, not ridership,” START’s town shuttle buses are often almost empty during off-peak hours and at the end of certain runs. The impression that demand is low for the service can be deceiving, Wackerly explained.

“Last year we carried 432,000 rides on the town shuttle,” he said.

“There are times when I’ve seen 50 people on a 29-passenger bus.”

Still, world-renowned transit authority expert Wendell Cox believes some bus operators are spinning their wheels running frequent trips on low demand lines.

“It’s not that environmentallyminded transit promoters are being dishonest when they argue that city buses are more efficient than private cars,” he said. “It’s that they’re talking about a fictional world where far more people ride buses. Mass transit vehicles use up roughly the same energy whether they are full or empty, and for much of the time, they’re more empty than full. For the bulk of the day, and on quieter routes, the average city bus usually undoes whatever efficiencies are gained during the few hours a day, on the few routes, where transit is at its peak.”

Town and county leadership continue to push the environmental angle when touting multimodal transportation. START claims an estimated 118,000 gallons of fuel were saved in 2012, and more than 492,000 fewer cars were on the road because of those who chose to ride the bus. According to START’s figures, vehicle miles are reduced by more than 3 million per year, translating into approximately 100,000 fewer gallons of fuel used — a resulting reduction of 1.8 million pounds of carbon emissions annually. Cox warns people to be wary of the numbers, though.

“As far as buses taking anybody off the road, that’s a real mythical notion,” Cox said. “In fact, there is some evidence, in Washington, D.C., that the principal impact of mass transit has been to strip passengers out of car pools. It hasn’t really done a thing to make it ‘greener.’ And the latest data is showing cars and SUVs, on a passenger basis, are more ‘green’ than buses. How green a bus is is completely a function of how many people are on it.”

Bigger is better, right?

Wackerly admits a big difference between his job in Mansfield and his current assignment in Jackson Hole is the seasonality of the valley. He is constantly tweaking the schedule to anticipate demand.

“I think one of the big differences between the system we have here and the system I was doing in Ohio is, in Ohio we were exactly the same yearround,” Wackerly said. “We ran the same schedule for years without ever changing. Here, it’s so

different every season. Winter is by far our biggest season.”

While runs to bedroom communities and to Teton Village are at high loads, the town shuttle struggles to attract riders, prompting many to ask why smaller vehicles aren’t used for shorter east-west runs. Wouldn’t smaller buses on isolated lines be more efficient and less wasteful? The answer is, surprisingly, no.

“The problem is, yeah, there are certain times you will look at that bus on the [town] route and you won’t see anybody or very few people in it,” Wackerly said. “But there are other times when it’s full. Almost all of our routes are that way. There are very few of our routes that we are running that you could use a smaller bus on. They are just not big enough.”

Fuel costs are not the driving factor in determining expenses for operating a bus. Larger, 40-foot buses typically get around 5.5 miles per gallon. Smaller buses might get 6.5. But no matter the size of the bus, other overhead costs remain fixed.

“The major expenses are the drivers’ salaries and fringe benefits, although probably 90 percent or more of our drivers are seasonal and don’t get any benefits,” Wackerly said. “The maintenance of the buses also seems to be getting more and more expensive. The fuel expense is a part of it, but the fuel consumption isn’t that significantly different from a big bus to a smaller bus.”

Another reason transit systems like START tend to run bigger buses is because they can. When the federal government is footing the bill, transit agencies figure they may as well get the biggest bus they need. Wackerly estimated START has $7.5 million invested in its bus fleet. Washington, D.C. covered at least 80 percent of that expenditure.

Federal guidelines for capital investment grants in buses call for a minimum of 12 years of operation out of each vehicle. START averages a 15-year lifespan for most of its fleet. Wackerly is concerned, however, with the daunting task of replacing more than a dozen aging Bluebird buses that are nearing the end of their usefulness.

“We’re not going to be able to replace those 13 buses in the next couple of years and expect to get 80 percent of them funded,” Wackerly said.

“They are a major investment. Right now, for our 40-footers, it’s about $430,000 a piece. The hybrids we bought are 30-footers and they were about $540,000 a piece. So we’ve got to figure out some other way to do it.”

Bigger buses are noisy and they clog narrow town roads designed a century ago to accommodate horse and carriage more so than the motor coach.

For Judd Grossman, who’s lived on Rancher Street for 29 years, the impact of START’s town shuttle service hits close to home. Literally.

“I count 50 to 60 buses past my house every day,” Grossman said. “Most of them are nearly empty. It is not in keeping with the Comp Plan which calls for Rancher to be in the town periphery. The Comp Plan is an inconvenient truth for START. I really think character districts like ours are at the core of the plan. One size fits all doesn’t work here.

Right now, START is determining the character of my neighborhood instead of reacting to the character of the neighborhood as defined in the Comp Plan. It’s upside down.”

Wackerly has made attempts to accommodate vocal Rancher residents but the current eastbound lines find the street a convenient end-of-the-line turnaround.

see START BUS, page 9

$1,770,000 ($174.64) 2006 $1,996,000 ($296.67) 2006 $3,651,000 ($142.90) 2006 $14,296,000 ($112.14) 2013 $5,071,000 ($98.67) 2006 $5,353,000 ($86.63) 2013 $1,202,000 ($86.19) 2013 $4,387,000 ($65.70) 2013 $923,000 ($64.65) 2012 $4,387,000 ($61.28) 2013 $4,411,000 ($53.42) 2013 $54,000 ($48.96) 2002 $1,073,000 ($34.18) 2013

$1,387,000 ($34.13) 2013 $1,844,000 ($33.57) 2013 $1,779,000 ($32.17) 2006 $2,128,000 ($32.09) 2006 $334,000 ($31.76) 2013 $2,761,000 ($31.35) 2002 $867,000 ($28.41) 2002 $731,000 ($8.20) 2013 $189,000 ($9.54) 2006 $124,000 ($3.81) 2004 $135,000 ($2.91) 2006 $34,000 ($1.98) 2004

“I can’t imagine anybody looking at this building ad saying it’s an eyesore,” Wackerly said. “What used to be here was a staging area and storage for materials while they were doing construction. A lot of industrial-type uses happened on this site before we ever came. So it wasn’t like we replaced a pristine meadow or something.”

The in-town location with dual ingress and egress points has also helped the agency save money.

“We probably have a hundred [deadhead] trips back and forth between the beginning and end of runs and the garage,” Wackerly said. “If you add just one mile to every one of those trips, that’s a hundred miles every day, times the number of days in a year. It adds a lot of wear and tear and a lot of excess fuel. You’ve got to pay the drivers that much longer. It really adds to your expenses. It was in the range of hundreds of thousands of dollars per year to be a few miles further away.”

Sputtering funding?

see START BUS, page 10

MAY 20, 2015 | 9

Cox, who is familiar with Jackson, was surprised at how large a system START is operating.

“You will probably not find a larger transit system for a community your size that is not an urban system,” Cox said. “Your problem is you are a very unique community. I have not looked at resort communities closely. You’ve got a transit system largely because of your tourist business I would suspect, and probably a bit larger employment base. And it sounds like you are spending an awful lot of money. Where you could get hurt is a lot of the federal money goes out on

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

works is at capacity.”

Wackerly pushed hard for the new bus barn.

Storing buses indoors, especially during Jackson Hole winters, makes life easier for man and machine.

“I try to compare it to people who have a garage and people who don’t have a garage,” Wackerly said. “For your car, wouldn’t you much rather have it in a garage than have to go out every morning and clean the snow off and deal with it sitting out and maybe not starting? It’s the same with buses. They are much more reliable starting. One of the things we had to do when they were outside was start them up two or three hours before we actually left because the buses were so cold we had to warm them up a little. When we had some older buses years ago we actually let them run all night sometimes because you wouldn’t even be able to start them in the morning. If it was 20 below there was no way. It’s a lot less idling now. A lot less wear and tear on the buses. A lot less maintenance.”

Vogelheim agreed but would like to see the bottom line better reflect the improved conditions.

“One of the arguments for having bus storage was we would see a reduction in maintenance costs,” he said. “When we received the 2016 budget for START there wasn’t a substantial reduction in maintenance costs. So I asked, ‘why wasn’t there?’

The answer was attributed to our aging fleet and other circumstances. So we need to dig into that a little bit more.”

The location of the START facility, smack dab in the middle of a sensitive town watershed and within a few hundred feet of drinking water wells, has caused concern among some environmentalists.

Mankato, MN Grand Forks, ND Corvallis, OR Portland, ME Big Rapids, MI Chico, CA Ithaca, NY Greenville, NC Yipsalanti, MI Newark, DE Coeur d’Alene, ID Radford, VA SOURCE: CITY-DATA.COM

START’s growth with Wackerly at the wheel is chock-full of eye-popping numbers. An evergrowing operating budget will bust $3.5 million in fiscal year 2016. Phase I of the new bus garage was completed at a cost of about $17 million. Another $25 million is needed to complete the facility.

Wackerly believes START can land another grant or two from federal sources that could cover about half the capital outlay, he said. The rest would likely come from two rounds of specific purpose excise tax (SPET) initiatives.

The agency sputtered obtaining funds for the new depot, prompting government officials to call for a scaled-back version. The compromise was a facility that could be built in stages as money trickled in. Commissioner Paul Vogelheim, who originally voted against the new START garage, was one local politician who wanted to see clearer cost breakdowns and funding sources. He still keeps close tabs on the facility that he would now like to see completed.

“We have a beautiful new facility,” Vogelheim said. “I struggled with it and did not vote in favor of it moving forward because we did not have a discussion first about what the total cost was going to be and how we were going to pay for it, but we went ahead and designed it anyway. We have a $20 to 30 million Phase II and III against a backdrop of [$17 million] for Phase I, so there is a lot more to add on here. We have to sit down and look at the priorities. The greatest need I now see is for our next addition to START to be for a fleet maintenance facility because right now our public

Jackson, WY Aspen, CO Key West, FL Gainesville, FL Harrisburg, VA Ames, IA Oneonta, NY Oshkosh, WI Clemson, SC Iowa City, IA Bloomington, IN East Hampton, NY Pullman, WA

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Fits and STARTs

Comparably-sized communities, operational budget for mass transit (cost per resident), Year

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“There has been a big discussion about the town shuttle, particularly on Rancher,” Wackerly said.

“Yeah, if you look at the bus in East Jackson there’s not that many people on it, but that same bus is serving West Jackson where it is overflowing at times. It’s not easy for the general public to understand.”

Frequency of runs is also a concern for Grossman and others who wonder whether taxpayers are getting the best bang for their bus. Wackerly said a regular and reliable schedule is important. He prefers a maximum of 30 minutes between buses.

“Frankly, I think they want to run it every five minutes,” Grossman said. “As a conservative person, I wonder whether these big government agencies can sometimes get out of hand — get to a point where they are just continuously growing in a self-perpetuating fashion. But what I’ve discovered is there is a huge push from the board and electeds who are really freaked out by the fact that WYDOT wants to expand the highway. And everyone is concerned about global warming issues and therefore very supportive of START. So the problem right now is if you speak out against START you risk being marginalized as a ‘naysayer.’”

Wackerly has proposed dividing east and west town runs, a plan that would ease congestion some and allow for smaller buses. It would also require riders looking to get across town to change to another bus. Elected officials, who feared ridership would suffer with the added transfer, voted down the idea. More recently, Wackerly devised a figure eight town shuttle run that would provide quicker, better service. The added line would tack on an additional $210,000 to START’s annual budget.

The proposal was shot down at a Joint Information Meeting two weeks ago on a 3-6 vote with Jim Stanford, Melissa Turley and Smokey Rhea on the losing side.

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10 | MAY 20, 2015

from START BUS, page 9

a size formula. Your new facility will be largely funded by discretionary grants and it may be of great concern where Phase II and III come from.”

Transit services almost never pay for themselves.

They are primarily subsidy-driven governmental necessities and always an easy target for taxpayer ire. START has managed to exist largely off of federal money but taps the town and county for $850,000 per year.

Wackerly is concerned for START’s future. He knows START is supported by the community but a new director will face “really challenging” times. The Integrated Transit Plan (ITP) calls for doubling ridership by 2024 and doubling that again by 2035. The plan also calls for the START fleet to grow to 60 buses by 2024, and 120 buses by the year 2035. Operating expense for START, after revenue, is anticipated to grow to $8.1 million in 2024 and $18 million by 2035. Those goals don’t appear tangible to the outgoing bus chief. “ That’s going to be an extreme challenge to meet that,” Wackerly said. “ The other challenges we have are these old Bluebirds that are getting to the end of their useful life. We’ve got 13 of them. Some of them are getting more and more unreliable. We’ve got to figure out how we re going to replace them. And I’m a little concerned about the federal funding.”

With annual subsidies nearing $20 billion nationwide, the U.S. spends three-and-a-half more times on mass transit than Europe, 10 times what Asia spends. Cox says subsidized transit is not sustainable by definition.

“The potential of public transit has been so overblown it’s almost scandalous,” Cox said. “The U.S. is backward in virtually everything having to do with transit. [As far as] the fear that federal funding going away, I’ve been hearing this line for almost as long as I’ve been in the transit business.

I don’t see it happening. That doesn’t suggest you shouldn’t go about things in a judicious manner.

Money locally is more important than ‘D.C. money.’

People are not as careful with someone else’s money as they are with their own money. And there will always be reluctance on local officials to saddle their own people with taxes if they can get money from Washington and Cheyenne.”

Vogelheim would like to see a fare-free system implemented. He thinks it would increase ridership closer to ITP objectives. Wackerly admits he’s thought about a fare-free transit plan, but fears losing money from local businesses, especially Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, who buy bus passes for employees and visitors. “ There is a sentiment here to go fare-free,” Wackerly acknowledged. “ You are not going to help all that many people and potentially could lose that $300,000 you are getting from local businesses who will say, ‘ Why should I fund something that is free?’ We probably make $100,000 to $150,000 or so through the $3 fares that people are putting in.

I’ve estimated the total cost of going fare-free to be somewhere between $800,000 and a million dollars a year to do that. To me, that’s a policy decision. I can’t say it’s worth that or it’s not worth it.”

Wackerly favors adding a dedicated penny sales tax to be used for transit and housing in Teton County but convincing political leaders to get behind a tax hike won’t be easy.

“At this point, [I would be a ‘no’],” Vogelheim said. “In the past, I’ve fought very hard against increasing the sales tax. I have always been a proponent of the lodging tax as an alternative. If we did add another penny to the sales tax I think we would be the highest in the state. Everybody else is trying to get to 6 cents, we’d be jumping to 7 cents.”

Outgoing chief

Wackerly is ready to retire.

“I could have retired a couple of years ago but I wanted to at least get something built,” he said. “I’m not 100 percent sure what’s next. My wife and I are going to stick around here at least through the summer but will likely move back to Ohio next fall. I still have children back in Ohio that we never get to see. I may do a little consulting but I don’t know for sure yet. I want one last summer to enjoy in Jackson Hole where I am not working full time.”

Outgoing START director Michael Wackerly looks forward to handing over keys to the bus at the end of the month. PHOTO: JOSH MYERS

Buses once stored outdoors [inset] in the cold are much happier spending nights inside the warm new garage. PHOTO: JOSH MYERS

Signal Mountain has history, views, nachos

GET OUT

By ELIZABETH KOUTRELAKOS @theplanetjh Photos by Elizabeth Koutrelakos

T

Steers head blooms in a sagebrush meadow.

PHOTO: ELIZABETH KOUTRELAKOS

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Views of Mount Moran offer something to look at on the way down. PHOTO: ELIZABETH KOUTRELAKOS

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

MAY 20, 2015 | 11

what I am talking about).

On the way down, we took the ridge trail. While this trail had some ups and downs, it was extremely enjoyable, as magnificent views of the peaks poked in and out of the trees. The hike itself seemed short, but it was a good cardio venture. Round trip, it was about five miles, 800 vertical feet, and well worth it. While it seemed to be raining profusely on the mountain range, we only felt a slight drizzle. I am no weather expert, but my guess is this place creates some sort of a rain shadow, or might not see as much rain because it is across Jackson Lake.

One of the other wonderful things about this walk was the fact that heavenly nachos awaited at Signal Mountain Lodge when we returned. For being within a national park, this restaurant and lodge has some of the most affordable pricing options and deliciously prepared food. After consuming said nachos, my initial trepidation about the place and its unsolved historical mysteries quickly faded along with my appetite.

he day began with plans for a hike but early morning rain showers lowered my expectations for the day. After much debate on the locations, a friend suggested we venture up north. Why not? I thought. I have nothing to lose.

We parked at the base of Signal Mountain. While I knew the road was popular for visitors to take pictures, I did not realize that there was a trail that goes up Signal from the bottom. The most exciting thing I heard about this place was people getting altitude sickness {see this week’s Natural Medicine) from flying in from sea level and immediately driving up this road. I was never even sure why it had its name. Perhaps it’s because there’s a radio tower around it? Was it a special marker for people back in the day? All of these questions would soon be answered.

When we got there, my savvy friend informed me that in the late 1800s a man on a hunting trip was lost in the Snake River drainage near Signal Mountain. The search party agreed that when anyone found the body, they would light a signal atop the peak; hence the name, Signal Mountain. I looked into the mysterious death and learned that the deceased man, Robert Ray Hamilton, initially came west for a hunting trip with friends. He befriended John Sargent and the men agreed to go into business together and build a hotel on the east side of Jackson Lake. While Hamilton’s official cause of death was drowning, there is much speculation as to whether he was murdered by Sargent to gain propriety control of the land. Sargent’s wife, Adelaide was known to have accused her husband of the murder and she was found beaten to death years later. Ultimately, her husband was convicted of murder, but was later released.

Keeping this creepy story in mind, I continued my walk, occasionally looking through the pine for bears or other mammals that could be a predator. The trail splits shortly into the walk. Faced with the decision to take the ridge trail or the pond trail, I chose the pond. Vast fields of sage awaited and we meandered our way up. Crickets and frogs filled the air with a thick tune, and in the midst of a clouded May day, it felt like I could have been somewhere on the East Coast. We passed some ponds that bright with green lily pads. There were some spectacular looking feathered creatures soaking in the pond.

After about a mile, the trail reconnected with options of going out and back to the summit or continuing back down to the parking lot via the ridge trail. Seeing as the summit was just a little bit further, we entered the canyon. A pine forest with a handful of switchbacks marked the end of the way up. In all, there was only one patch of snow to deal with and it was very minimal. The view was, in fact, fantastic. A wide panorama of the valley and a full-length, high-definition view of the Tetons was worth a few minutes of gazing. There was a particularly odd shaped pond in the valley that resembled something I just couldn’t put my finger on (explore this place to see

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12 | MAY 20, 2015

THIS WEEK: MAY 20-26, 2015 WEDNESDAY 5I20

KIP ATTAWAY May 23rd

Show starts at 8pm $10 tickets at the door •••••••••••

HAPPY HOUR

1/2 Off Drinks Daily 5-7pm

•••••••••••

Monday-Saturday 11am, Sunday 10:30am 832 W. Broadway (inside Plaza Liquors)•733-7901

n Chess Club for Grades K-12 - Youth Auditorium 3:30pm, Teton County Library, Grades K to 12.

Have fun playing chess! Beginning, intermediate and advanced players welcome. Hone your skills and learn new strategies. Location: Youth Auditorium.

Free. 733-2164 ext. 118. http://tclib.org/index. php/calendar/ n Fables, Feathers, and Fur 10:30am, National Museum of Wildlife Art, Storytelling at the museum is an exciting opportunity for young visitors to engage with the art through looking, reading and making in the galleries. Free. http://www.jacksonholechamber.com/events/ n The Gay Straight Alliance Event 6:30pm, JHHS Library, The Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) at Jackson Hole High School will be hosting an evening of educational presentations. Free. 307690-5419 n Glaze Them Pots 6:00pm, Center for the Arts. http://www.artassociation.org/calendar.html n Karaoke 9:00pm, Virginian Saloon, Free 307-739-9891 n Lap-Sit - Victor 11:00am, Valley of the Tetons Library. http://tetons. lili.org/node/149 n The Lil Smokies 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Montana’s premiere progressive bluegrass band is BACK!! $5 cover. www.307live.com.

ofEVENTS

ONLINE AT PJHCALENDAR.COM n Lost Wax Bronze Casting 6:00pm, Center for the Arts. http://www.artassociation.org/calendar.html n The Most Deserving presented by Off Square Theatre Company 7:00pm, Center for the Arts, The Most Deserving Presented by Off Square Theatre Company. A provincial town. An arts council. A $ 20,000 grant. Who is the most deserving? A tart, sharp skewing of small town cultural wars. Directed by Nicole Madison Garrett.

Tickets $28.00. www.offsquare.org. 307-733-3021 n Older American’s Month Activities 8:00am, Senior Center of Jackson Hole, From cognitive health, getting fit and learning something new, there is an activity each week we encourage you to attend. Free. seniorcenterjh.org. 307-733-7300 n Photojournaling 3:30pm, Center for the Arts. http://www.artassociation.org/calendar.html n Photoshop Fundamentals 4:00pm, Center for the Arts. http://www.artassociation.org/calendar.html n Private Tarot Readings with Amaris Mai at Spirit 10:00am, Spirit Bookstore, The Ancient Art of Divination ~ Tarot Readings with Amaris Mail. By appointment, walk-ins accepted by availability. Spirit@ spiritjh.com. $55.00 - $135.00. http://spiritjh.com n Songwriter’s Alley Open Mic 8:30pm, Haydens Post, Sign up at 7 p.m. Featured set: Allen Haag. Performers are entered into a drawing for $25. n Story Time - Victor

10:00am, Valley of the Tetons Library. http://tetons. lili.org/node/149 n Studio Sampler Series: All Sessions 3:30pm, Center for the Arts, http://www.artassociation.org/calendar.html n Tavern Trivia 7:00pm, Town Square Tavern. Jackson’s most hilarious trivia night featuring the most entertaining MC in town, Crazy Tom. Test your trivia knowledge every week for prizes and swag. Free. townsquaretavern. com n Tech Tutor 10:00am, Teton County Library, The library offers one-on-one computer and technology tutoring on topics of your choice including help with devices such as iPads, smart phones and e-book readers. Free. To reserve a spot, sign up at the Library Front Desk or call 733-2164, press 1. http://tclib.org/index.php/ calendar/ n Wednesday Evening Conditioning Hike -Putt Putt trail, Cache Creek 6:00pm, Cache Creek Trailhead, Due to this being an evening hike with daylight time limited, these hikes will leave right at 6pm sharp. n Wilderness First Responder (WFR) & CPR for the Professional Rescuer 9:00am, Center for the Arts, Instructor: Jacob Urban & Marilynn Davis, Jackson Hole Outdoor Leadership Institute. To Register call Central Wyoming College Jackson 307-733-7425. $725 registration fee. http://www.jhcenterforthearts.org/calendar/

MUSIC BOX devoted crew of swing dancers will surely appreciate this new night (debuting May 28), along with the new dance floor real estate.

To celebrate the Grand Re-Opening this Saturday, local country-soul band Bootleg Flyer will break in the new stage, adorned by a special horn section for the night.

Silver Dollar Bar Grand Re-Opening with Bootleg Flyer, 7 to 11 p.m. Saturday. Free.

732-3939.

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em

The Silver Dollar Bar is now 40% larger, adorned with a new sound system, stage and dance floor. PHOTO: WORT HOTEL

T

@ScreenDoorPorch

Smashing and electric

Celebrating 25 years of rugby in Jackson Hole, JH Moose Rugby will host live music, and both live and silent auctions in support of the men’s and women’s teams on Saturday. Jackson’s freshest cover band, The Electric Bliss, will unleash a soundtrack of alt-rock, disco, funk, pop and metal. The lineup includes Kirsten Farney (vocals), Mike Covell (guitar), Steve Ranck (drums) and David Bundy (bass).

The 1st Annual Smasher’s Ball with The Electric Bliss, 9:30 p.m. at Town Square Tavern. JH Moose Rugby fundraiser. $5.

733-3886.

CALENDAR continues on page 14

MAY 20, 2015 | 13

Bluegrass sextet, The Lil’ Smokies, performs Wednesday.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

strategically tiered in the other two spaces to manage volume while allowing for sound to blanket the room. For what is arguably the venue with the most consistent dinner crowd that is also coupled with four nights of weekly live music, stepping up the audio and visual aspects of the stage will likely prove to be a worthwhile investment.

With the new space also comes another weekly band residency: Thursday Dance Party, courtesy of Dixieland and jazz band Jackson Six, led by the infamous trombone troubadour John Kidwell. The

hese are electrifying times at the historic Silver Dollar Bar in The Wort Hotel, where the construction phase of a remodel has been in the works since midwinter. The space itself has grown 40 percent to the west, where a newly designed bandstand and dance floor sits in the former locale of the Silver Dollar Mercantile gift shop. A smaller replica of the current bar has been produced — original artwork and silver dollars included — that will face the stage in the northwest corner of the new addition. Essentially, there will now be three rooms that can be divided by partition walls— the original bar area to the east, the central room where the stage and dance floor were previously, and the west room, which will initially open on music nights only.

Acoustically and aesthetically, the Silver Dollar has, at times, been a challenging space to produce a quality audio experience in “the box” where the previous stage used to sit. The area was soundproof, but not necessarily conducive to the flow of sound. Speakers were added to the main barroom a couple of years ago, which allowed sound to travel further without sacrificing certain frequencies. The latest room design is more open with speakers mounted not only above the stage, but also

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BY AARON DAVIS

n All About Handbuilding Session II 3:30pm, Center for the Arts. http://www.artassociation.org/calendar.html n Dinner with the Doc 6:00pm, Senior Center of Jackson Hole. Join Dr. Kjorstad as he speaks on breast, lung and colon cancer. Chef Amando will be serving swiss steak with baked potato. Reservations required. No charge for seniors 60+, $8 others. Call 733-7300. seniorcenterjh.org. n Evening of the Arts 6:30pm, Jackson Hole Classical Academy. Jackson Hole Classical Academy invites you to an evening celebrating the arts with drama and music performances followed by an art gallery walk and refreshments. Don’t miss the final performance of our inaugural school year! Free. 307-201-5040 n Friends and Family Mental Health Support Group 6:00pm, Board Room of St. John’s Medical Center, The Friends and Family Mental Health Support Group will meet on Thursday. This group is for friends or family members who are connected with individuals who face mental health challenges. Free.

307-732-1161 n Glass Beads & Things 6:00pm, Center for the Arts. http://www.artassociation.org/calendar.html n Jewelry Making for Ages 6-16 3:30pm, The Local Galleria. Supplies & snacks included. $25/session or $80/4 session punch card. Contact Teri McLaren at (208) 270-0883, teri@tetonvalleylocalart.com n Library Board Meeting - Ordway Auditorium B 12:00pm, 125 Virginian Lane, Teton County Library Board holds its monthly meeting. Location: Ordway Auditorium B. Free. Library Director, Deb Adams, 733-2164 ext. 128, dadams@tclib.org. http://tclib.org/index.php/calendar/ n Map Invasive Species Training 5:30pm, Teton County Library. While prevention is the first line of defense, it is nearly impossible to stop all invasive species. Therefore, Early Detection/Rapid Response (EDRR) is the second line of defense in managing these plants. Please call 733-8419 to sign up for one of our trainings 24 hour in advance. Limit 20/class! Free. 307-7338419 n The Most Deserving presented by Off Square Theatre Company 7:00pm, Center for the Arts. The Most Deserving Presented by Off Square Theatre Company Black Box Theater. A provincial town. An arts council.

A $ 20,000 grant. Who is the most deserving? A tart, sharp skewing of small town cultural wars.

Directed by Nicole Madison Garrett. $28 ticket. http://www.offsquare.org. 307-733-3021

| PLANETJH.COM |

Silver Dollar Bar shines with makeover

It sure is cool to see former Jacksonites from the formative days of yesteryear’s local music scene making waves on the regional and national front. Featuring former locals Pete Barrett (guitar, vocals, songwriting) and Matt Cornette (banjo), Missoula’s The Lil’ Smokies formed in 2009 along with Andy Dunnigan (dobro), Scott Parker (upright bass), Cameron Wilson (mandolin) and Jesse Brown (fiddle).

The progressive bluegrass sextet has succeeded in growing a Montana following while also getting recognized on a national level. The Lil’ Smokies were honored most recently by the International Bluegrass Music Awards (IBMA 2014) with a nomination for the Momentum in Bluegrass Band Award.

The Lil’ Smokies, 10 p.m. Wednesday at Town Square Tavern. $5. 733-3886.

THURSDAY 5I21

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14 | MAY 20, 2015

WELL, THAT HAPPENED n Movie Night at the Library, Politics Mini Series: “To Kill a Mockingbird” 6:00pm, 125 Virginian Lane, Screening and Post-film discussion will be moderated by filmmaker and American Film Institute alumna, Spark Malachowski. Location: Ordway Auditorium. Free.

733-2164 ext. 229, lshlachter@tclib.org. http:// tclib.org/index.php/calendar/ n Older American’s Month Activities 8:00am, Senior Center of Jackson Hole, Teton County/Jackson Parks and Recreation and Senior Center of Jackson Hole team up to celebrate Older American’s Month. From cognitive health, getting fit and learning something new, there is an activity each week we encourage you to attend. For more information, please contact parks and rec. at 7399025 or Senior Center at 733-7300. Free. seniorcenterjh.org/ n Photography Fundamentals 6:00pm, Center for the Arts. http://www.artassociation.org/calendar.html n Tech Tutor, 10:00am, Teton County Library. The library offers one-on-one computer and technology tutoring on topics of your choice including help with devices such as iPads, smart phones and e-book readers. To reserve a spot, sign up at the Library Front Desk or call 733-2164, press 1. Free. http:// tclib.org/index.php/calendar/ n Tips for Perennial Gardeners 6:00pm, Jackson Parks and Recreation. Join Al Young for ideas and suggestions for designing and maintaining a perennial garden. $15.00. 7399025 n Toddler Time - Youth Auditorium 10:05am, Teton County Library, Twenty-minute story time with books, songs, finger plays and flannel board acts. Location: Youth Auditorium. Free.

Youth Program Coordinator, Beth Holmes, 7332164 ext. 118, bholmes@tclib.org. tclib.org/index. php/calendar. n Wilderness First Responder (WFR) & CPR for the Professional Rescuer 9:00am, Center for the Arts. Instructor: Jacob Urban & Marilynn Davis, Jackson Hole Outdoor Leadership Institute. To Register call Central Wyoming College Jackson 307-733-7425. $725 registration. jhcenterforthearts.org/calendar.

FRIDAY 5I22 n The 1st Annual Smasher’s Ball 9:00pm, Town Square Tavern. Celebrating 25 years of Rugby in Jackson Hole! $5 cover benefiting JH Moose Rugby. Live music form The Electric Bliss and live and silent auction items up for bid!

307live.com. n 34th Annual Old West Days 9:00am, Teton County Fair Grounds. Mountain Man Rendezvous and Traders’ Row, Jackson Hole Historical Society and Museum Free Walking Tour, CALENDAR continues on page 15

The Golden Age of Women

By ANDREW MUNZ

@AndrewMunz

T

he Bechdel Test was first introduced in cartoonist Alison Bechdel’s 1985 comic strip, Dykes to Watch Out For. In it, a female character says that she only sees films when they follow three simple requirements: 1. The movie has to have at least two women in it, 2. who talk to each other, 3. about something other than a man.

Even in our current pro-feminist age, you’d be surprised by how few films are able to pass that test. Even director Joss Whedon, who is famous for highlighting badass women in his shows and films, botched it with his current film, Avengers: Age of Ultron.

The two main female characters, Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen), never exchange words even though they fight alongside one another.

Most romances aimed at women also fail this test, including the recent film The Age of Adaline, where there is a large amount of female characters who can’t seem to have a conversation on a subject that doesn’t involve being with a man.

However, two films came out this weekend that managed to pass the Bechdel Test for very different reasons.

Pitch Perfect 2, a sequel to the 2012

A race through the desert. PHOTO: WARNER BROS. PICTURES. acapella competition comedy, stars a large cast of 20-something actresses with big voices and occasionally spot-on comedic timing. Even though there is a hefty amount of sexist and misplaced racist jokes, the film highlights female ambition and busts the “teen movie” preconception that a girl must be in want of a boyfriend to ultimately achieve her goals.

On the complete flipside is Mad Max: Fury Road. Watching the trailers of the film, I didn’t have much initial interest in seeing a two-hour violent and bloody race through the desert.

I was aware Charlize Theron was in the film, but I didn’t realize to what degree. With so many positive reviews piling in I ended up coughing up the cash and seeing it on the big screen.

Without spoiling too much, Imperator Furiosa (Theron) rescues five women from a masochistic, deformed overlord in hopes of delivering them from the desert wastelands to a utopia known as “the green place.” Traditionally, in an action film like this, the title character Max (Tom Hardy) would be the hero, rescuing the females and (probably) falling in love with at least one of them by the time the credits roll.

But instead, Furiosa is the film’s

focus character. Not only does she embody the characteristics of a typical badass, she is a headstrong, realistic protagonist who probably could have carried out her mission without Max’s help.

Personally, I’ve always found joy in female confidence. I still love Milla Jovovich’s Resident Evil movies, even though they’re mostly atrocious. I consider Catwoman a way more complex villain to Batman than the Joker will ever be. Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Alias remain two of my favorite television shows because they showcase female characters in atypical gender roles.

Female superhero fans have Wonder Woman (2017) and Captain Marvel (2018) to look forward to, and I hope that both films are able to live up to the amazing women they will center on. The success of Mad Max will hopefully show Hollywood that strong female characters can indeed bring in box office numbers. Black Widow and Scarlet Witch have both been mostly excluded from Marvel merchandising. From toy sales alone, a child would never know there are women on the Avengers team. But if money is the only reason why they’ve made 11 films about the Avengers characters, and not one of them centered around a female, then perhaps they’ll never learn.

FEED ME! The Pub still has it

BY GERALDINE MISHEV @theplanetjh

I

The Pub considers their steak tacos an appetizer, but an order is enough for dinner. PHOTO: GERALDINE MISHEV

CALENDAR continues on page 16

MAY 20, 2015 | 15

chorizo in almost every bite of the pie. There was also a taste of sage every so often.

The Brew Pub’s Warm Beet Salad, which is topped with slices of grapefruit, is more beautiful and interesting than any brewpub salad has a right to be. The presentation was so pretty it was almost difficult to tear it apart. But we did.

The lunch was so good overall that I got to wondering how amazing Snake River beer must be. But I didn’t wonder enough to actually have one.

Snake River Brewing, open 11:00 a.m. - 11 p.m. daily, 265 S. Millward, snakeriverbrewing. com, 739-BEER.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

my universal experience that single tortillas do not have the structural integrity to prevent the bottom from falling out. Especially when the taco stuffing is as juicy as that at the Brew Pub. The pizza was perfect. When it first arrived, I was slightly skeptical.

I saw only seven slices of dried fig.

And it looked like all the chorizo was concentrated in the personalsized pie’s center. I want tastes of all toppings in most every bite.

Looks were deceiving, however.

Hiding beneath a liberal topping of mozzarella and also goat cheeses, there were slices of fig and bits of

PHOTO: GERALDINE MISHEV

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

The chorizo and fig pizza. It can also be ordered as a calzone.

| PLANETJH.COM |

“ t’s just off my radar,” said my friend last week when I suggested we go to the Snake River Brew Pub for lunch. First, we had tried Hatch, where I’ve heard there is a new chef who’s doing good things. But, walking up to its front entrance, there was a paper taped to the inside of the front door. I don’t remember exactly what it said, but the gist was that Hatch was closed for the day.

I still wanted to try something new, though, or at least somewhere I hadn’t eaten at in the last five weeks.

That’s when the Brew Pub, which is celebrating 21 years, came to mind.

The Brew Pub long ago fell off my radar because: 1) I’m not the biggest beer drinker and 2) I don’t like having to scream at the person across the table from me, even if it is a bowl of delicious spicy peanut chicken pasta I’m shouting over. I (correctly) guessed that its lunch crowds would not be as loud as those in the evening.

Because pizza is always a good way to get a read on a brewpub, I ordered the chorizo and fig pie ($14).

I also ordered a Warm Beet Salad ($12). My friend got the starter of steak tacos ($11).

Two hours post-meal, I still can’t pick a favorite. The steak in the steak tacos (there were three tacos) was Wagyu beef, tender and topped with cojita cheese and house-made tomatillo salsa verde (The Brew Pub actually makes most everything in house).

“These are going to change your life,” my friend said.

As much as I’m capable of exaggeration, I won’t go so far as to say the steak tacos have put my life on a new path. But I will write that I’m still thinking about them. On the steak taco scale, with the steak tacos at StreetFood in Wilson a 10, the Brew Pub gets an 8. They could raise this score a full point by using two corn tortillas per taco instead of one. It should be illegal to serve tacos that aren’t double wrapped because isn’t the idea of tacos that you eat the whole thing out of your hands?

I don’t want to take one or two bites and then have the bottom fall out and be forced to pick up taco innards from my plate. It has been

Kickoff at the Bar J, Jackson Hole Rotary Wine Fest. For the complete Old West Days schedule visit jacksonholechamber.com/old_west_days or call 307.733.3316. n Art Opening and Reception: Teshia and Nicole Gaitan: Life is a Colorful Experiment 7:00pm, Grand Teton Gallery, Teshia is turning the heads of art collectors near and far with her distinctive style of Contemporary Wildlife Artwork.

Nicole Gaitan is one of Jackson’s own rising stars.

Voted Jackson’s Best Emerging Artist for 2015.

Free. 307-201-1172 n Big Skillet Band Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, http://www.milliondollarcowboybar.com/calendar.htm n Boondocks Evening show, Hayden’s Post. Country-blues, rock, Americana.

Free 307-732-9027 n Bootleg Flyer 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Bar, Country-soul. Free.

307-732-3939 n Free Friday Tastings 4:00pm, Jackson Whole Grocer. Kick-off your weekend by sampling Jackson Whole Grocer’s featured beers, wines and spirits. Join Beverage Manager Mary Gordon from 4:00-6:00 p.m. every Friday afternoon for a taste of our featured drinks!

Free. 307-733-0450 n Garage Welding 6:00pm, Center for the Arts, http://www.artassociation.org/calendar.html n Jazz Foundation of Jackson Hole 5:30pm, Snow King Resort. n Jazz Night 7:00pm, The Granary at Spring Creek Ranch, Pam Drew Phillips on piano/vocals, Bill Plummer on bass, and Mike Calabrese on drums. Free. 307733-8833 n The Most Deserving presented by Off Square Theatre Company 7:00pm, Center for the Arts, The Most Deserving Presented by Off Square Theatre Company Black Box Theater. A provincial town. An arts council.

A $ 20,000 grant. Who is the most deserving? A tart, sharp skewing of small town cultural wars.

Directed by Nicole Madison Garrett. $28. http:// www.offsquare.org. 307-733-3021 n Old West Feast & Fest 12:00pm, Jackson Whole Grocer, Join us for a Chuckwagon Picnic with Fiddles ‘n’ Fixins! Food, fun, games, music and more to celebrate Old West Days. Free. 307-733-0450 n Older American’s Month Activities 8:00am, Senior Center of Jackson Hole. From cognitive health, getting fit and learning something new, there is an activity each week we encourage you to attend. For more information, please contact parks and rec. at 739-9025 or Senior Center at

| PLANETJH.COM |

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

16 | MAY 20, 2015

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733-7300. Free. 307.733.7300 n Photoshop Fundamentals 4:00pm, Center for the Arts. http://www.artassociation.org/calendar.html n Quenby & the West of Wayland Band 9:00pm, the Virginian. Free. 307-739-9891 n Stargazing at the Center for the Arts 9:00pm, Center for the Arts, Please join Wyoming Stargazing for a free public stargazing event. Contact us for more details at: 1-844-WYO-STAR (1-844996-7827) info@wyomingstargazing.org n Winefest Raffle & Auctions 5:00pm, Snow King Resort. The Winefest Raffle & Auctions include wine, artwork, vacations, products and services from hundreds of local and national supporters. All proceeds from the Winefest Raffle & Auctions benefit the Rotary Scholarship Fund which has awarded over $500,000 in student scholarships over the past 25 years. $25 - $30. http://www.rotarywinefest.org

SATURDAY 5I23 n 34th Annual Old West Days Starting at 9:00am. Daily events include Mountain Man Rendezvous and Traders’ Row, 34th Annual Old West Days Parade, Old Town Entertainment, Old West Brew Fest, Stage Coach Rides, Jackson Hole

Shootout and Street Dance, Jackson Hole Rodeo. Event details visit jacksonholechamber.com/old_west_days n Animal Adoption Center Fundraiser -- Mini Photo Session with Florence McCall 9:00am, Jackson Whole Grocer, Help raise money for the Animal Adoption Center while getting a 15-minute photo session with your family from the amazing Florence McCall. For a $150 donation to the Animal Adoption Center, Florence is giving 15 families a mini-photography session, two 5x7 photos plus a fun Facebook cover image. Space is limited so book your spot today! 307.733.0746 or email Florence flo@ flomccall.com. n Chef’s Demonstration & Tasting at Jackson Whole Grocer 3:30pm, Jackson Whole Grocer, Learn how to cook like a pro with free demonstrations every week at Jackson Whole Grocer! Join Chef Patty Brennan on Saturday afternoons as she shares recipes, cooking techniques and tips for making meal planning a breeze. Free. 307733-0450 n Garage Welding 9:30am, Center for the Arts. http://www.artassociation.org/calendar.html n Jazz Night 7:00pm, The Granary at Spring Creek Ranch, Pam Drew Phillips on piano/vocals, Bill Plummer on bass, and Mike Calabrese on drums. Free. 307-733-8833 n The Most Deserving presented by Off Square Theatre Company 7:00pm, Center for the Arts, The Most Deserving

Presented by Off Square Theatre Company Black Box Theater. A provincial town. An arts council. A $ 20,000 grant. Who is the most deserving? A tart, sharp skewing of small town cultural wars. Directed by Nicole Madison Garrett $28. http://www.offsquare. org. 307-733-3021 n Oil Painting 10:00am, The Local Galleria. Individualized instruction for the beginner to the advanced. All supplies included. $25 per class, $80 for a 4 lesson punch card.

Contact Teri McLaren at (208) 270-0883, teri@ tetonvalleylocalart.com n Quenby & the West of Wayland Band 9:00pm, the Virginian, Free. 307-739-9891 n Silver Dollar Bar Grand Re-Opening 7:00pm, Silver Dollar Bar, Bootleg Flyer performing.

Free. 307-732-3939 n Tram Opens for Summer Season 9:00am, Teton Village. Tram Opens for Summer Season. Early season: 9am-5pm. n WYOBass DJs 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern, Jackson’s Hottest Club scene! Free. 307-733-3886

SUNDAY 5I24 n 34th Annual Old West Days Daily events include Mountain Man Rendezvous and Traders’ Row, Wyoming Cowboy Church and Stagecoach Rides. Full event details at jacksonholechamber.com/old_west_days. n Stagecoach Band

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Jackson Hole Playhouse DINNER and a SHOW

n 34th Annual Old West Days Daily Events include Mountain Man Memorial Day Ceremony, American Legion Memorial Service, Mountain Man Rendezvous and Traders’ Row, Stagecoach Rides and Jackson Hole Shootout. For event details visit jacksonholechamber.com/old_ west_days. n Hootenanny 6:00pm, Dornans, Acoustic musicians sign-up starting at 5:30 p.m. to play a two-song set. Folk. Free. http://dornans.com/news/calendar. (307) 7332415 n Older American’s Month Activities 8:00am, Senior Center of Jackson Hole. From cognitive health, getting fit and learning something new, there is an activity each week we encourage you to attend. For more information, please contact parks

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6:00pm, Stagecoach, Sunday Belongs to the World Famous Stagecoach Band “Church” Stagecoach Bar Style Great country music and dancing This band has played every Sunday for over 40 years 6 - 10:00 pm.

Free. 307-733-4407 n Taize 6:00pm, St. John’s Chapel in, Taize is an all-inclusive sung and silent participatory prayer service designed to achieve a contemplative state through music, song and silence. Taize offers a precious moment of quiet reflection in this busy world. http://www.jacksonholechamber.com/events/

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and rec. at 739-9025 or Senior Center at 733-7300.

Free. http://seniorcenterjh.org/ n Story Time - Driggs 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library. http://tetons. lili.org/node/149

TUESDAY 5I26

June 17 - August 19 | Ages 7-13 & 13-18 Week long Musical Theatre Camps with a culminating Mini-Musical production on the Main Stage at the Jackson Hole Playhouse.

307-733-6994 Call for more information

145 W Deloney Ave | jhplayhouse.com

PHOTO BY DAVID SWIFT

• Wednesday morning delivery • Need your own vehicle • Clean driving record • $12/hr + mileage • Able to lift 50lbs.

Contact Bill at fog520x@hotmail.com

MAY 20, 2015 | 17

Download Judd Grossman songs from iTunes.

THE PLANET NEEDS A DELIVERY DRIVER TO START MID MAY.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

juddgrossman.com 307-690-4935

Early riser?

To have your event included in this calendar and online, upload your info at pjhcalendar.com.

Juddossman Gr Band

lighting the plants in each and the animals that depend on them. Hosted by the Library every fourth Tuesday of the month. For a schedule visit: www.tetonplants. wordpress.com. Location: Ordway Auditorium B. Free. Program Manager, Oona Doherty, 733-2164 ext. 135, odoherty@tclib.org. n Wyoming Stargazing Planetarium Program 6:30pm, Old Wilson School House, Wyoming Stargazing will be offering public planetarium programs using an inflatable planetarium at the Old Wilson Schoolhouse from 6:30pm-8pm. No need to RSVP. More information can be found at www. wyomingstargazing.org/astronomy-presentations or by contacting Samuel Singer at 307-413-4779 or samuel@wyomingstargazing.org $5.00 - $10.00.

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

PLAYTIME AT THE PLAYHOUSE

Coordinator, Beth Holmes, 733-2164 ext. 118, bholmes@tclib.org. n Video Editing & Uploading - Computer Lab 5:30pm, 125 Virginian Lane. Learn basic elements for editing video including how to trim and splice; add soundtracks, narration and titles; burn DVDs; and upload to YouTube. Instructor: Byron Tomingas.

Location: Computer Lab. Free. Register at Library Front Desk or call 733-2164, press 1. http://tclib.org/ index.php/calendar/ n Wyoming Native Plant Society, Teton Chapter Ordway Auditorium B 6:00pm, 125 Virginian Lane. Our wildlife thrives in different plant communities: wetlands, sagebrush, forests and meadows. Jackson Hole botanist, Frances Clark shows slides of different landscape types, high-

| PLANETJH.COM |

n Bootleg Flyer 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Bar, Country-soul. Free. 307732-3939 n English as a Second Language - Driggs 6:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library, http://tetons. lili.org/node/149 n Junior Golf Clinic 4:30pm, Snake River Sporting Club. Junior golfers of Teton County are invited to participate in Snake River Sporting Club’s community junior golf clinic series.

Sign Up: Please contact the Sporting Club Sports Shop on or before the Monday prior to the clinic. $15.

307-200-3093 n Ladies Night Oil Painting 7:00pm, The Local Galleria. Individualized instruction for the beginner to the advanced. All supplies included. $25 per class, $80 for a 4 lesson punch card. Contact Teri McLaren at (208) 270-0883, teri@tetonvalleylocalart.com n Language Exchange - Driggs

7:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library. http://tetons. lili.org/node/149 n Moonshine Mary’s Open Mic 4:00pm, The Trap Bar at Grand Targhee Resort. Free. http://www.grandtarghee.com n Older American’s Month Activities 8:00am, Senior Center of Jackson Hole. From cognitive health, getting fit and learning something new, there is an activity each week we encourage you to attend. For more information, please contact parks and rec. at 739-9025 or Senior Center at 733-7300. Free. n Open Mic Night 9:00pm, Virginian Saloon. Free. 307-739-9891 n Photography Fundamentals 6:00pm, Center for the Arts. http://www.artassociation.org/calendar.html n Plant Communities of Jackson Hole 6:00pm, Teton County Library, Our wildlife thrives in different plant communities: wetlands; sagebrush flats and grasslands; mixed evergreen forests and aspen groves. Teton Plants botanist, Frances Clark will highlight the plants in each and the animals that depend on them. A great way to start the summer season.

Co-sponsored with the Teton County Library. www. tetonplants.org Free. 781-259-9819 n Toddler Time - Youth Auditorium 10:05am, Teton County Library. Every Tuesday at 10:05, 10:35 a.m. and 11:05 a.m. Ages 3 and younger.

Twenty-minute story time with books, songs, finger plays and flannel board acts. Free. Youth Program

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Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom and pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves!

Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally FRESH FOOD at reasonable prices, is a always a FUN PLACE to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel RIGHT AT HOME and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit.

Reservations at (307) 733-4913 3295 Village Drive • Teton Village, WY

www.mangymoose.com

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Open daily 8am 145 N. Glenwood • (307) 734-0882 WWW.TETONLOTUSCAFE.COM

ASIAN & CHINESE

FULL STEAM SUBS

TETON THAI

The deli that’ll rock your belly. Jackson’s newest sub shop serves steamed subs, reubens, gyros, delicious all beef hot dogs, soups and salads.

We offer Chicago style hot dogs done just the way they do in the windy city. Open daily11 a.m. to 7 p.m.

Located just a short block north of the Town Square at 180 N. Center Street, (307) 733-3448.

Serving the world’s most exciting cuisine. Teton Thai offers a splendid array of flavors: sweet, hot, sour, salt and bitter. All balanced and blended perfectly, satisfying the most discriminating palate. Open daily.

7432 Granite Loop Road in Teton Village, (307) 733-0022 and in Driggs, (208) 787-8424, tetonthai.com.

THE BLUE LION ®

2 for 1

Pizzas and Entrees (dine in only)

Dinner Mon-Sat 5:00pm Happy Hour Mon-Fri 5-6:00pm 690 S. Hwy 89 • 734-1970

Large Specialty Pizza ADD: Wings (8 pc)

Medium Pizza (1 topping) Stuffed Cheesy Bread

$ 13 99

for an extra $5.99/each

(307) 733-0330 520 S. Hwy. 89 • Jackson, WY

A Jackson Hole favorite for 36 years.Join us in the charming atmosphere of a historic home.

Ask a local about our rack of lamb. Serving fresh fish, elk, poultry, steaks, and vegetarian entrées. Live acoustic guitar music most nights.

Open nightly at 5:30 p.m., closed Tuesdays.

Reservations recommended, walk-ins welcome.

Early Bird Special: 20% off Entire Bull between 5:30-6:00pm. Must mention ad.

160 N. Millward, (307) 733-3912, bluelionrestaurant.com

CAFE GENEVIEVE Serving inspired home cooked classics in a historic log cabin. Enjoy brunch daily at 8 a.m., dinner nightly at 5 p.m., and happy hour daily 3-5:30 p.m. featuring $5 glasses of wine, $5 specialty drinks, $3 bottled beer.

135 E. Broadway, (307) 732-1910, genevievejh.com.

ELEANORS

Steamed Subs Hot Dogs Soups & Salads

Enjoy all the perks of fine dining, minus the dress code at Eleanor’s, serving rich, saucy dishes in a warm and friendly setting. Eleanor’s is a primo brunch spot on Sunday afternoons. Its bar alone is an attraction, thanks to reasonably priced drinks and a loyal crowd. Come get a belly-full of our two-time gold medal wings. Open at 11 a.m. daily.

832 W. Broadway, (307) 733-7901.

KIM’S CORNER Best ski food in the area! Korean and American style, from breakfast sandwiches, burgers, chicken tenders, Philly cheese steaks to rice bowls and noodles. Something for everyone!

Open Tuesday through Thursday, 9:30 a.m. to 7 p.m.; Friday through Sunday, 9:30 a.m. to 4 p.m.

At base of Summit Lift between the ski patrol room and the ice rink.

100 E. Snow King Ave. Order ahead (307) 200-6544, facebook. com/Kimscornercafe.

LIBERTY BURGER Liberty burger features 11 different burger, including the standard liberty burger of just mustard, mayo, lettuce, tomato, pickle onion.

There are six different meat selections along with our custom beef blend. Sides include skinny fries, sweet fries and onion rings. Two salads are on the menu along with two sandwiches. Milkshakes, root beer floats, adult milkshakes, beer, wine and spirits are available. Open at 11 a.m. daily.

160 N. Cache, (307) 200-6071.

LOCAL Local, a modern American steakhouse and bar, is located on Jackson’s historic town square.

Our menu features both classic and specialty cuts of locally-ranched meats and wild game alongside fresh seafood, shellfish, house-ground burgers, and seasonally-inspired food. We offer an extensive wine list and an abundance of locally-

The Deli That’ll Rock Your Belly 307-733-3448 | Open Daily 11am-7pm 180 N. Center St. | 1 block n. of Town Square Next to Home Ranch Parking Lot

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

18 | MAY 20 , 2015

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FAVORITE PIZZA 2012, 2013 & 2014 •••••••••

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SPECIAL Slice, salad & soda

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TV Sports Packages and 7 Screens

Under the Pink Garter Theatre (307) 734-PINK • www.pinkygs.com

home of melvin brewing 20 craft beers on tap | food til midnight!

sourced products. Offering a casual and vibrant bar atmosphere with 12 beers on tap as well as a relaxed dining room, Local is the perfect spot to grab a burger for lunch or to have drinks and dinner with friends.

55 North Cache, (307) 201-1717, localjh.com.

elk melt, wild west chili and vegetarian specialties.

Dinner 5:30 to 9 p.m. including potato-crusted trout, 16 ounce ribeye, vegan and wild game.

Reservations welcome.

(307) 733-3553. sweetwaterjackson.com.

LOTUS CAFE

Owned and operated by Chefs with a passion for good food, Trio is located right off the Town square in downtown Jackson. Featuring a variety of cuisines in a relaxed atmosphere, Trio is famous for its wood-oven pizzas, specialty cocktails and waffle fries with bleu cheese fondue. Dinner nightly at 5:30 p.m. Reservations.

(307) 734-8038 or bistrotrio.com.

­­­ Serving organic, freshly-made world cuisine while catering to all eating styles. Endless organic and natural meat, vegetarian, vegan and glutenfree choices. Offering super smoothies, fresh extracted juices, espresso and tea. Full bar and house-infused botanical spirits. Open daily 8am for breakfast lunch and dinner.

145 N. Glenwood St., (307) 734-0882, tetonlotuscafe.com.

MANGY MOOSE

TRIO

INDIAN THE INDIAN

SNAKE RIVER BREWERY & RESTAURANT

ITALIAN

SWEETWATER

Good between 5:30-6pm • Open nightly at 5:30pm

Voted “BEST MEXICAN RESTAURANT” & “BEST SALSA” Best of Jackson Hole 2014

ENTIRE BILL 733-3912 160 N. Millward

Make your reservation online at bluelionrestaurant.com

e Home of th G” MAR “BIGozPIG su ea of pl re 32

Just north of the Town Square on Cache (307) 733-2966

The Indian is themed after a British officer’s club, The Indian serves Colonial Indian cuisine and classic cocktails. Enjoy a variety of dishes including butter chicken, lamb vindaloo and many other vegan and gluten free options. Open for dinner nightly at 5:30. Reservations.

165 N. Center St., (307) 733-4111.

CALICO

A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965, the Calico continues to be one of the most popular restaurants in the Valley. The Calico offers the right combination of really good food, (much of which is grown in our own gardens in the summer), friendly staff; a reasonably priced menu and a large selection of wine. Our bar scene is eclectic with a welcoming vibe. Open nightly at 5 p.m.

2560 Moose Wilson Rd., (307) 733-2460.

Trio is located just off the town square in downtown Jackson, and is owned & operated by local chefs with a passion for good food.

Our menu features contemporary American dishes inspired by classic bistro cuisine. Daily specials feature wild game, fish and meats.

Enjoy a glass of wine at the bar in front of the wood-burning oven and watch the chefs perform in the open kitchen.

7342 GRANITE LOOP ROAD TETON VILLAGE TETONTHAIVILLAGE.COM 3 0 7. 7 3 3 . 0 0 2 2

Dinner Nightly at 5:30pm Happy Hour 5:30-6:30pm at the bar 45 S. Glenwood

FAMILY FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT

MEXICAN

Available for private events & catering

PIZZAS, PASTAS & MORE

EL ABUELITO

For reservations please call 734-8038

HOUSEMADE BREAD & DESSERTS

Satisfying locals for lunch and dinner for over 36 years with deliciously affordable comfort food.

Extensive local and regional beer list. Lunch 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. features blackened trout salad,

Margaritas that will make you happy, and service that will make you smile!

| PLANETJH.CDOM|

America’s most award-winning microbrewery is serving lunch and dinner. Take in the atmosphere while enjoying wood-fired pizzas, pastas, burgers, sandwiches, soups, salads and desserts. $8 lunch menu from 11:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. Happy hours 4 to 6 p.m., including tasty hot wings. The freshest beer in the valley, right from the source! Free WiFi. Open 11:30 a.m. to midnight.

265 S. Millward. (307) 739-2337, snakeriverbrewing.com.

20%OFF

Hot chips made fresh all day long

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally fresh food at reasonable prices, is a always a fun place to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel right at home and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit.

Teton Village, (307) 733-4913, mangymoose.com.

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

Ten homemade salsas and sauces

Authentic Mexican dishes made from scratch

FRESH, LOCALLY SOURCED OFFERINGS

untold stories edgy topics news

Dining room and bar open nightly at 5:00pm (307) 733-2460 • 2560 Moose Wilson Road • Wilson, WY

A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965 Local is a modern American steakhouse and bar located on Jackson’s historic town square.

Serving locally raised beef and, regional game, fresh seafood and seasonally inspired food, Local offers the perfect setting for lunch, drinks or dinner.

Lunch 11:30am Mon-Sat Dinner 5:30pm Nightly

EMAIL YOUR RESUME OR WRITING CLIPS TO EDITOR@PLANETJH.COM

307.201.1717 LOCALJH.COM ON THE TOWN SQUARE

385 W. Broadway, Jackson Authentic Mexican Cuisine (307) 733-1207 OPEN 7 DAYS 11am-10pm

HOME OF THE ORIGINAL JUMBO MARGARITA

MAY 20, 2015 | 19

HAPPY HOUR Daily 4-6:00pm

LARGE SELECTION OF MEXICAN BEERS LUNCHEON COMBINATION Mon-Fri 11am-3pm NIGHTLY DINNER SPECIALS

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

WRITERS WANTED

TAKE OUT AVAILABLE

| PLANETJH.CDOM|

| JACKSON HOLE’S ALTERNAT |

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

20 | MAY 20 , 2015

Serving authentic Mexican cuisine and appetizers in a unique Mexican atmosphere. Home of the original Jumbo Margarita. Featuring a full bar with a large selection of authentic Mexican beers. Lunch served weekdays 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Nightly dinner specials. Open seven days, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.

385 W. Broadway, (307) 733-1207.

MERRY PIGLETS

Voted Best Salsa! Jackson’s oldest authentic Mexican restaurant and a local favorite. Choose from over 10 unique and different salsas and sauces, Tex-Mex plates, including mesquite-grilled fajitas, wraps and fire-roasted chicken. Huge margs in 10 flavors plus “Big Pig Marg,” a 32 ounce original.

160 N. Cache, (307) 733-2966.

PIZZA ARTISAN PIZZA

Blue Collar Restaurant Groups Italain style restaurant and pizza serves fresh salads, apps, Neapolitan inspired pizza and housemade classic pasta dish’s. All entrees come with soup or salad and house made garlic bread. Veggie and gluten free options available. Happy Hour in the bar Monday to Friday from 5 - 6 p.m. features $6 pizzas, 2 for 1 wine by the glass and well drinks, and $1 off all beer. Open Monday through Saturday at 5 p.m.

Located in the 690 building on highway 89 next to Motel 6, (307) 724-1970.

DOMINO’S PIZZA Hot and delicious delivered to your door. Handtossed, deep dish, crunchy thin, Brooklyn style and artisan pizzas; bread bowl pastas, and oven baked sandwiches; chicken wings, cheesy breads and desserts. Delivery.

520 S. Hwy. 89 in Kmart Plaza, (307) 733-0330.

PINKY G’S The locals favorite! Voted Best Pizza in Jackson Hole 2012, 2013 and 2014. Seek out this hidden gem under the Pink Garter Theatre for NY pizza by the slice, salads, stromboli’s, calzones and many appetizers to choose from. Try the $7 ‘Triple S’ lunch special.Happy hours 10 p.m. - 12 a.m. Sun.- Thu. Text PINK to 71441 for discounts.

Delivery and take-out. Open daily 11a.m. to 2 a.m.

50 W. Broadway, (307) 734-PINK.

PIZZERIA CALDERA Jackson Hole’s only dedicated stone-hearth oven pizzeria, serving Napolitana-style pies using the freshest ingredients in traditional and creative combinations. Try our Bisonte pie with bison sausage and fresh sage. Lunch specials daily featuring slices, soup and salad­­s. Happy hour specials from 3 to 6 p.m. Take-out available. 20 W. Broadway. Open daily 11 a.m. to 9:30 p.m.

(307) 201-1472, pizzeriacaldera.com.

Rob Brezsny’s FREE WILL ASTROLOGY Week of May 21, 2015 freewillastrology.com ©Copyright 2015 Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): James McNeil Whistler was an influential painter in the latter half of the 19th century.

He advocated the “art for art’s sake” credo, insisting that the best art doesn’t need to teach or moralize. As far as he was concerned, its most important purpose was to bring forth “glorious harmony” from chaos. But the immediate reason I’m nominating him to be your patron saint for the coming weeks is the stylized signature he created: an elegant butterfly with a long tail that was actually a stinger. I think you’ll thrive by embodying that dual spirit: being graceful, sensitive, and harmonious and yet also feisty, piquant, and provocative. Can you manage that much paradox? I think you can.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The English writer and caricaturist Max Beerbohm moved away from his native land when he was 37 years old. He settled in Rapallo, Italy, where he lived for much of the rest of his life. Here’s the twist: When he died at age 83, he had still not learned to speak Italian. For 40 years, he used his native tongue in his foreign home. This is a failing you can’t afford to have in the coming months, Pisces. The old proverb “When in Rome, do as the Romans,” has never been so important for you to observe.

Physical connection

On the purely physical level, the jolts of these powerful earthquakes were strong enough to briefly disrupt the rotation of the Earth and cause changes in the magnetic field of the planet. The geological jarring is one phenomenon that everything on the planet is first absorbing and then recalibrating in order to reestablish the new normal. So it is not surprising that at the time of the quakes and for many days after the tragedy, people around the world have reported feeling unusually tired and blue, or they having trouble sleeping and experience headaches for no apparent reason. This is not the same as being ill. These are symptoms of the disruption in our biological systems from the quakes.

Emotional connection

Our thoughts and feelings are another form of instantly transmitted energy in the planet-based living “internet.” Science has measured the concept that even if you do not know someone is thinking about you, even if you do not know the

person thinking about you, the body registers a response to their thoughts. Even when someone on the other side of the world is thinking of you, your body picks up the signals.

Therefore in the aftermath of the quakes, we are receiving the energies of invisible cries for help, waves of grief and despair, pain and expressions of fear. They are automatically being transmitted invisibly around the world from the masses of people affected by the earthquakes. Similar to feeling tired after watching an emotionally draining movie, a massively traumatic global event has the potential to create huge waves of exhaustion.

At the same time, our feelings of compassion and love and prayers are also instantly transmitted via the living matrix to those who are suffering. Those energies spread reassuring support and healing.

Analogy

The ever-communicating, bioenergetic-internet of this Earth is also analogous to our individual physical bodies, in which all our cells are constantly sharing signals and information with the billions of other cells in the living matrix of our bodies. Therefore, it is a small leap to realize that in the face of personal suffering, when we choose to express loving, compassionate, grateful thoughts to our own body, we hold a key to stabilizing and healing ourselves.

Common sense

Naturally, if you know or suspect other reasons for any current physical or emotional unease, consult your health care professionals.

Carol Mann is a longtime Jackson resident, radio personality, former Grand Targhee Resort owner, author, and clairvoyant. Got a Cosmic Question? Email carol@yourcosmiccafe.com

MAY 20, 2015 | 21

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Are you willing to entertain an outlandish possibility? Here’s my vision: You will soon be offered unexpected assistance, either through the machinations of a “guardian angel” or the messy blessings of a shape-shifting spirit. This divine intervention will make it possible for you to demolish a big, bad obstacle you’ve been trying to find a way around. Even if you have trouble believing in the literal factuality of my prophecy, here’s what I suspect: It will at least come true in a metaphorical sense -- which is the truest kind of truth of all.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian author James Joyce wrote Ulysses, one of the most celebrated and influential novels of the 20th century. The narrative is both experimental and tightly structured. Its chaotic stream-of-consciousness passages are painstakingly crafted. (Anyone who wonders how the astrological sign of Aquarius can be jointly ruled by the rebellious planet Uranus and the disciplinarian planet Saturn need only examine this book for evidence.) Joyce claimed he labored over Ulysses for 20,00 hours. That’s the equivalent of devoting eight hours a day, 350 days a year, for over seven years. Will you ever work that hard and long on a project, Aquarius? If so, now would be an auspicious time to start.

A

ll life on this planet is part of a living, interconnected global energy matrix — a planetbased, bio-energetic interactive internet, to which we are all subscribers. Whether or not we are consciously sensitive to and aware of changes in the matrix, the current devastation from the two recent major earthquakes in Nepal affects every aspect of the living matrix of life on Earth. Those reverberations include a blend of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energies, which require recalibration.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In the TV comedy-drama Jane the Virgin, the fictional character known as Rogelio de la Vega is a vain but lovable actor who performs in telenovelas. “I’m very easy to dress,” he tells the wardrobe supervisor of a new show he’ll be working on. “Everything looks good on me. Except for peach. I don’t pop in peach.”

What he means is that his charisma doesn’t radiate vividly when he’s wearing peach-colored clothes. Now I want to ask you, Leo: What don’t you pop in? I’m not simply talking about the color of clothes that enable you to shine, but everything else, too. In the coming weeks, it’s crucial that you surround yourself with influences that make you pop.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): It’s a challenge to drive a car through Canada’s far north. For example, if you want to get from Dawson in the Yukon Territory to Inuvik in the Northwest Territory, you take Dempster Highway. It’s gravel road for the entire 417-mile trip, so the ride is rough.

Bring a spare tire and extra gasoline, since there’s just one service station along the way. On the plus side, the scenery is thrilling. The permafrost in the soil makes the trees grow in odd shapes, almost like they’re drunk. You can see caribou, wolverines, lynx, bears, and countless birds. Right now, the sun is up 20 hours every day. And the tundra? You’ve never seen anything like it. Even if you don’t make a trip like this, Capricorn, I’m guessing you will soon embark on a metaphorically similar version. With the right attitude and preparation, you will have fun and grow more courageous.

Nepal invisibly affect everyone on Earth?

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Do you chronically indulge in feelings of guilt? Do you berate yourself for the wrong turns and sad mistakes you made in the past? These behaviors may be sneaky ways of avoiding change. How can you summon enough energy to transform your life if you’re wallowing in worries and regrets? In presenting the possibility that you might be caught in this trap, I want you to know that I’m not sitting in judgment of you. Not at all. Like you, I’m a Cancerian, and I have periodically gotten bogged down in the very morass I’m warning you against. The bad news is that right now you are especially susceptible to falling under this spell. The good news is that right now you have extra power to break this spell.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): There are many possible ways to create and manage a close relationship.

Here’s one of my favorite models: when two independent, self-responsible souls pledge to help each other activate the best versions of themselves. If you don’t have a partnership like this, the near future will be a favorable time to find one. And if you already do have an intimate alliance in which the two of you synergize each other’s quest for individuation, the coming weeks could bring you breathtaking breakthroughs.

Q: Do you know how the earthquakes in

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Aha!” is your mantra for the coming weeks, Gemini. Keep it on the tip of your tongue, ready to unleash. This always-ready-to-besurprised-by-inspiration attitude will train you to expect the arrival of wonders and marvels. And that will be an effective way to actually attract wonders and marvels!

With “Aha!” as your talisman, all of your wake-up calls will be benevolent, and all of the chaos you encounter -- or at least most of it -- will be fertile.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you’re planning on breaking a taboo, sneaking into a forbidden zone, or getting intimate with an edge-dweller, don’t tell boastful stories about what you’re doing. For now, secrecy is not only sexy; it’s a smart way to keep you safe and effective. Usually I’m fond of you telling the whole truth. I like it when you reveal the nuanced depths of your feelings. But right now I favor a more cautious approach to communication. Until your explorations have progressed further, I suggest that you only discuss them sparingly. As you put your experiments in motion, share the details on a need-to-know basis.

with Carol Mann

| PLANETJH.CDOM|

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Renowned author George Bernard Shaw was secure in his feeling that he did good work. He didn’t need the recognition of others to validate his self-worth. The British Prime Minister offered him a knighthood, but he refused it. When he found out he had been awarded a Nobel Prize for Literature, he wanted to turn it down but his wife convinced him to accept it. The English government also sought to give him the prestigious Order of Merit, but he rejected it, saying, “I have already conferred this order upon myself.” He’s your role model for right now, Taurus. Congratulate yourself for your successes, whether or not anyone else does.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Glory” is the theme song of the film Selma. It’s an anthem about the ongoing struggle for equal rights by African Americans. I want to borrow one of its lines for your use in the coming weeks: “Freedom is like a religion to us.” I think those will be good words for you to live by. Are you part of a group that suffers oppression and injustice? Are you mixed up in a situation that squashes your self-expression? Are you being squelched by the conditioned habits of your own unconscious mind? It’s high time to rebel. The quest for liberation should be your spiritual calling.

COSMIC Café

| PLANETJH.CDOM|

| JACKSON HOLE’S ALTERNAT |

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

22 | MAY 20 , 2015

NATURAL MEDICINE The high altitude hangover

BY DR. MCKENZIE STEINER, ND

@theplanetjh

What is High Altitude Sickness?

For those visiting the lovely valley of Jackson Hole, or those of us who live here and explore the many mountain peaks, being aware of high altitude illness is vital. High altitude is defined as between 8,000 to 12,000 feet above sea level and it’s at this elevation that people often begin experiencing sickness. That’s not to say that you can’t experience this at lower elevations as well. Altitude illness has three major categories. The first is called acute mountain sickness. The second is high-altitude pulmonary edema. And the final is high-altitude cerebral edema. Symptoms of mountain sickness are often described as being like a “hangover” – with a headache, fatigue, nausea, decreased appetite and insomnia. High-altitude pulmonary edema is a condition where fluid builds up in the lungs and causes a person to cough, feel breathless with exertion and eventually feel breathless at rest. Highaltitude cerebral edema is a condition where the brain swells with excess fluid. A victim may report feeling confused, lethargic, drowsy, and might have difficulty maintaining their balance. Acute mountain sickness is not considered life threatening, but is a precursor to developing the two more advanced conditions. Once a person develops those they need to descend immediately.

What happens at high altitude?

When traveling to high altitude, air pressure, humidity and temperature drop, while ultraviolet radiation increases. When exposed to these conditions, there is increased risk for hypoxia or low oxygen in the blood, and increased demands on the body for energy. The symptoms of high altitude illness result from this oxygen deprivation. Symptoms usually begin around 6 to 12 hours after arrival at high elevation.

DISCOVER THE HISTORY of Jackson Hole!

MAY 22, 2015 - FRIDAY

10:00 am: Trail Creek Ranch exhibit opens in the Cache Museum 3:00 pm: Special Walking Tour on the Town Square 7:00 pm: Beaver, Beads & Bullets: new Fur Trade exhibit presentation in the Indian Museum: corner of Deloney & Glenwood

MAY 23, 2015 - SATURDAY

9:00 am—Noon: JHHS&M booth on Town Square 10:00 am: Indians of the Greater Yellowstone Museum opens for the summer season

MAY 24, 2015 - SUNDAY

Both museum locations open from 1pm – 5pm 2:00 pm: Special Walking Tour on the Town Square TWO LOCATIONS: 225 N. Cache Street & 105 N. Glenwood Free admission to both museums on May 23-24

What increases your risk?

Your susceptibility for developing high altitude illness is dependent on many factors. Your genes are largely responsible for your likelihood of developing high altitude sickness and how well you manage at high altitude.

No amount of physical fitness can change this fact. There are no tests to help determine if you are more at risk for high-altitude sickness compared to anyone else. For the most part age does not affect high-altitude illness except for a slightly decreased risk in people over the age of 50. This may be due to the fact that younger people tend to “attack hike” and ascend at a faster than optimal rate. Other factors that influence high-altitude sickness are the rate of ascent, how high you plan to go, and how long you stay there. Faster ascent and longer trips at altitude may equate to more symptoms.

How to prevent High Altitude Illness?

Acclimatization, or a slower ascent, prevents acute mountain sickness while improving sleep, general well-being and exercise performance.

The Center for Disease Control has these recommendations for acclimatization: 1.

The best way to prevent high-altitude illness is to ascend slowly.

Don’t ascend from a lower altitude to above a 9,000 feet sleeping altitude in a single day.

2.

After you are at an elevation of 9,000 feet or above, the next sleeping altitude should not be higher than 1,600 feet per day. Don’t continue to ascend to sleep at a higher elevation while experiencing symptoms.

3.

Do only mild forms of exercise during the first 48 hours.

4.

Avoid alcohol, a respiratory depressant, for the first 48 hours.

5.

High altitude exposure for two nights or more within a month of a trip is helpful 6.

A prescription of Diamox to speed up acclimatization is often considered but side effects such as drowsiness, lethargy, vision changes, numbness of the extremities and more are possible.

Naturopathic Prevention

Beyond following the CDC’s recommendations, here are a few naturopathic tips to prevent high-altitude illness: 1.

Drink 8 to 32 ounces of water every hour depending on how much you are sweating, what the temperature is, and how hard you are breathing. The color of your urine indicates your hydration status; yellow urine is not a good sign of hydration; clear-colored urine is.

2.

Include electrolytes in your water. This will optimize your absorption of water and aid you in maintaining important minerals like potassium and sodium in your body.

3.

Eat — a lot. You use a lot more calories at elevation than you do at sea level. Eat a snack combo of carbohydrates, protein and fats every one to two hours or when you feel weak or fatigued 4.

Avoid diuretics such as coffee or caffeinated tea. These will dehydrate you and increase the likelihood of developing altitude illness.

5.

Take daily antioxidants such as Vitamin C and Vitamin E. They will reduce the effects of altitude sickness.

6.

Take Ginkgo biloba. This flavonoid increases blood flow and oxygen to the brain.

7.

Take Rhodiola or Ginseng. These herbs are known as adaptogens and help the body to endure stress.

8.

Take ginger. Ginger helps with nausea and prevents vomiting which are common symptoms of acute mountain sickness.

9.

Do deep breathing and pressure breathing exercises. Do slow and deep breathing while at altitude to increase the depth of your breath optimizing the oxygen intake. For pressure breathing, purse your lips while exhaling to force out carbon dioxide. This allows for easier oxygen exchange in your lungs.

Be aware while at elevation, and know the signs and symptoms of altitude illness. If you develop the “hangover-like” symptoms of AMS, you should consider descending. Rest for a period of time at the same elevation and descend if your symptoms persist or worsen. You can expect a full recovery in 1 to 2 days from these symptoms once you descend, rest and hydrate. If you develop the more severe symptoms of high-altitude cerebral edema or highaltitude pulmonary edema, immediately descend and seek medical attention.

Due to possible side effects of medications or supplements, and possible preexisting medical conditions, I would recommend consulting with a doctor before traveling to high altitude. With a bit of awareness you can prevent high-altitude illness and enjoy your trip to the mountains.

McKenzie Steiner, ND is a naturopathic physician with a family practice in Jackson Hole.

Visit her on the Web at drmckenziesteiner.com.

GALLOPIN’ GRANDMA

A guide to driving your kids nuts

L.A. TIMES Crossword HATCH JOB By Mark Bickham

SUNDAY, MAY 24, 2015

O

87 Annoyances 89 Often found in mice 91 Sign of an omission 92 Spots 93 Deere rival 94 *School in-crowd 98 Look forward to 99 Game with an Angry Birds version 100 Cal. column 101 *Tape width, perhaps 104 Signs of spring that are literally hidden in the answers to starred clues 111 Tennyson’s “lily maid of Astolat” 112 Cuthbert of “24” 114 Steak __ 115 Thought quite a lot of 116 More promising 117 In 118 Downed with a jolt 119 Wheelhouse 120 Elizabeth I or Prince Harry

74 Egyptian peninsula 75 Belgium-based imaging company 76 Master 77 Journalist who has been a host on all “Big Three” networks 78 12-time NFL Pro Bowler Junior 80 Connie __, winningest MLB manager 82 Responded to a bad joke 84 U.S./Soviet pact 88 Gets to 90 Walk easily 93 Twisted together 94 Ground, say 95 Garment easy to get in 96 More swank 97 Throw a big party for 98 Burning 101 Cops, or pressure from them 102 “The Aviator” actor 103 Landlocked land 105 Weigh station concern 106 Brought up 107 Hard-to-ignore feeling 108 Fixed __ 0109 De Matteo of “Sons of Anarchy” 0110 Apple product 0113 Cut off

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

MAY 20, 2015 | 23

DOWN 10 Sapa __: ancient South American ruler 20Jodie Foster title role 30Relative of IMO 40Collector’s suffix 50Like rich batter 60Sics on 70Overwhelmed, with “out” 80Jackson with a 2015 “Keepin’ It Country” tour 90Austrian painter Klimt 10 Word in current news?

11 Scorpion cousin 12 Texas A&M joined it in 2012 13 “You’re probably right” 14 Some HDTVs 15 Trick 16 “Joy of Cooking” author Rombauer 17 Capital ESE of Warsaw 18 Hard to control 21 In a fog

26 Puff __ 28 Woke up 32 Gets out 33 *“Be My Baby” singers 34 Pile up 35 “American Pastoral” Pulitzer-winning writer 36 City near Provo 38 *Alpine feline 39 Spitting sound 40 Wine commonly served chilled 41 Momentum 43 Beersheba’s region 44 Series ender 46 Feature of some Roy Rogers numbers 48 Ship out 49 *Like some flats 50 Expose 52 “Understood” 54 Weigh station unit 56 The __: Horace works 60 “__ be fun!”

62 Polish brand 64 Credit giant 65 Does masterfully 66 Crunched things, for short 68 Large groups 69 Weevil feature 71 Poll position?

ACROSS 10 Mound site 801996 Olympic tennis gold medalist 14 Track fastener 019 Jim Brickman fan, perhaps 20 Gathered in a mass 21 Darlings’ creator 22 Stay with doggedly 23 Dishes set in gelatin 24 Canine coat?

25 *Dreamt of 27 *Type of surplus store 29 Couple maker 30 Equal 31 Question of concern 32 *Forgot the past 37 Dope (out) 38 Eponymous Belgian town 41 Nincompoop 42 German article 43 Word with dive or drops 44 War of the Ring force 45 Pact 47 Fix, as a model airplane 51 Bleep 53 Discernible range 55 Hinduism’s Chandra, e.g.

57 2005 horror sequel 58 Singer Tori 59 Words before dare, ever 61 Scottish export 62 Where texts are read 63 ISP option 64 *Yellow Monopoly property 67 “Speak up” requests 70 Base path?

72 Cutting beam 73 Bouncer’s handful 74 In short order 75 Some saxes 77 Law office visitors 79 Part-time player 81 “I’m outta here” 83 Potters’ wheels, e.g.

85 Home of Mandrake the Magician 86 Part of BOGOF

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Jean Webber is a longtime Jackson resident, grandma and storyteller.

Got a topic you would like our resident grandma to address, email editor@planetjh.com

| PLANETJH.CDOM|

Once upon a time, one of my darlings asked me if it was olden times when I was a child. I told her to go play in traffic. Then she wanted to know if they had Christmas when I was little and I had to admit that we didn’t, but the Virgin Mary was in my gym class.

So after studying the American This is my husband, in 1999, at a University of presidents, my kids informed me that Minnesota football game. He was without shame Grover Cleveland and embarrassed everybody. PHOTO: JEAN WEBBER was president when I was born. and watch him eat and make sure You have to realize that children he cleans his plate. By the way, that appear on this earth to destroy their healthful, organic lunch you sent to parents’ self-worth. Kids assume that school – the one with the inspiring they just appeared, dropping out of a note on heart-shaped paper – will tree like an apple, or floating down be tossed in the garbage and your the Nile River like Moses. One look child will eat someone’s potato chips at their families and children are while his friends will double over convinced they were abandoned on a with laughter at the note. As a former doorstep and Beyonce is really their lunch lady, I can guarantee that. mother.

Failing that, if your child is in a Therefore, I am pleased to inform play or recital, why not show up with you that since there is nothing all the relatives and sit in the front more horrifying to children than row waving and making a spectacle their parents’ presence, there are a of yourselves? If she has a job, show multitude of proven ways to embarrass up and follow her around and be your children and it doesn’t matter sure to tell her boss how great she how old they are — would you want is. There is no age limit on this. If he your mother to show up? needs a ride, drive him right to the As my children were growing up, door and wave at all his friends. He I managed to achieve the absolute may have requested that you drop pinnacle of embarrassing behavior. him off a couple of blocks away, but I became a lunch room lady at their don’t. It will give you no satisfaction. elementary school and I was there for Here is another one: if your years. I am still remembered for being child has really cool friends you, by mean and fiendish. I would sneak contrast, must be uncool. Show up up on kids misbehaving, grab them looking like the Beverly Hillbillies by the back of the neck and hiss in and call your child by all kinds of their ears “not to do that ever again.” cute names. This works at any age. My I threw one kid’s lunch out because mother was so horrifying in her old he called me “Hey, you,” and I told age we could not take her anywhere. him it was not my name. He agreed. I have been getting those looks from My children must have been mortified my children, for some time actually. and it did them a world of good.

Remember, you are the parent I have some more skin-crawling and you have the right to make your suggestions and the lunchroom is a children pay for it. If you do your job good place to start. Nowadays, you well, they will learn from you and could text or phone your child while drive their own kids nuts. That is he eats, you could drop by his school nature’s way.