Planet JH 05.27.15

JACKSON HOLE'S ALTERNATIVE VOICE | PLANETJH.COM | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2015

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2 | MAY 27, 2015

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JACKSON HOLE'S ALTERNATIVE VOICE

VOLUME 13 | ISSUE 21 | MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015

ON THE COVER JACKSON’S ILLUSTRIOUS TENT CITY ILLUSTRATOR: NATE BENNETT JACKSONHOLEILLUSTRATION.COM

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THE PLANET TEAM

SALES ASSOCIATE Jennifer Marlatt / jmarlatt@planetjh.com Caroline Zieleniewski / caroline@planetjh.com COPY EDITOR Brielle Schaeffer CONTIBUTORS Mike Bressler, Rob Brezsny, Aaron Davis, Annie Fenn, MD, Julie Kling, Elizabeth Koutrelakos, Carol Mann, Andrew Munz, Jake Nichols, Tom Tomorrow, Jim Woodmencey

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PUBLISHER Copperfield Publishing, John Saltas GENERAL MANAGER Andy Sutcliffe / asutcliffe@planetjh.com EDITOR Robyn Vincent / editor@planetjh.com ART DIRECTOR Jeana Haarman / art@planetjh.com SALES DIRECTOR Jen Tillotson / jen@planetjh.com

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JACKSON HOLE WEATHER ALMANAC: MAY 27-JUNE 2, 2015 from METEOROLOGIST JIM WOODMENCEY

AVERAGE MONTHLY MAY PRECIPITATION

1.88 Inches

RECORD PRECIPITATION IN MAY

6.02 inches in 1980

AVERAGE MAY SNOWFALL

1 inche

RECORD MAY SNOWFALL

14.5 inches

The Month of May is wrapping up this week and I have to say, while maybe not the wettest May in history, it was consistently cloudy and showery and thunderstormy enough to bum some people out. We are actually still below normal in the precipitation department, as of this past weekend. Hard to believe, but remember May is the wettest month of the year, and after a relatively dry winter, this May seems exceptionally damp. It’s all relative.

APPETIZERS

EDAMAME • ASIAN BEEF ROLLS • KUSHIYAKI BEEF VEGETABLE SPRING ROLLS • SOFT SHELL CHILI CRAB THAI CALAMARI • STEAMED TURKEY DUMPLINGS

SALADS

RAMEN SALAD • SOBA NOODLE SALAD ASIAN SQUID/SEAWEED SALAD

ENTRÉES

So far this May we have not achieved a 70-degree temperature reading for an afternoon high. This week though has some good potential for that. Cracking the 80-degree mark might have to wait until June this year. I do not expect that we will repeat the highest May temperature ever recorded in Jackson of 90-degrees, which was set back on May 29, 2003. As a matter of fact, I am very confident forecasting that that will not happen this week.

JIM WOODMENCEY has been forcasting the weather here for more than 20 years. You can find more Jackson Hole weather information at www.mountainweather.com

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MAY 27, 2015 | 3

One advantage to all the cloud cover we have had is that the overnight low temperatures have not been getting too cool. When it’s clear overnight, we can get down into the 20’s. But with clouds overhead, it’s like throwing on a blanket at night, it keeps us warmer, like mid-30’s to 40-degrees. Chilliest, non-blanket, night we ever had here during these last days of May was on May 30, 1979 when the temperature got down to 16-degrees.

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66 33 90 16

NORMAL HIGH NORMAL LOW RECORD HIGH (2003) RECORD LOW (1979)

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4 | MAY 27, 2015

THE BUZZ

BY JAKE NICHOLS

@theplanetjh

Housing Summit high on hope … low on inventory, funding

T

he Jackson Town Council and Board of County Commissioners held a two-day housing summit for the public last week.

While it was at the beginning of Old West Days, it wasn’t anything like the annual old-timey festival.

How times have changed. A 1900 census of the valley tallied 638 people living in 191 households.

Today’s conditions find a county challenged with housing low-to-mid-level income residents who totaled 22,268 in a 2013 Census. Those are astounding numbers that mark growth of a county once too poor and too unpopulated to meet even minimal state standards. State legislators intervened with a special act to create Teton as the state’s 22nd county in 1921.

“Skepticism will not be tolerated here,” said joint town-county planner Alex Norton early in Thursday’s proceedings. At several points, there seemed little room for anything but skepticism on finding solutions to a housing crisis measured by column inches in local classified ads.

Valley economist Jonathan Schechter has emerged as the leading skeptic after a few brow-raising, “inconvenient truth” comments that have found more allies than opposition.

“There’s no housing fix,” Schechter claimed in his regular newspaper column. A bold statement, if unpopular. Talking about a solution has been Jackson Hole’s favorite obsession leading into the anticipated summer crunch. The two-day seminar provided more bluster than buoyancy as local leaders and stakeholders tackled weighty issues involving government’s role in easing hardships by increasing workforce-housing inventory.

Elected leaders will have a hard time convincing voters to add a penny to sales tax in order to generate a dedicated source of funding for housing and transportation in the county. A tax increase was one of the more popular options to arise at the summit. The added penny would generate an estimated $12 million annually — a robust number that could build a few rental apartments and fuel a fleet of buses.

County Commissioner Melissa Turley backed the idea of upping sales tax to seven percent, saying at the summit that the increase would provide for

• Quality livestock and pet supplies • Domestic and wild bird food, cat food, small critter food, reptile food • Grain-free and organic dog food • Knowledgeable and friendly customer service

Providers chart. WORKFORCE HOUSING ACTION PLAN a stable and significant level of funding. Former Housing Authority director Christine Walker said a sales tax increase would be a “game-changer.”

But judging from responses at the seminar, letters to the editor at The Planet, and comments found online, many Laissez-faire-minded taxpayers bristle at the notion of government involvement in the free market.

Some say market solutions are less likely to solve the problem no matter how hard developers are walloped by town and county exactions. The newly-minted OutsidetheHole.com, launched by valley thinker Pete Muldoon, sprang to life with a opening salvo on housing: “I think it’s important that we realize that market-based solutions are not going to work,” Muldoon wrote. “Tweaking the incentives for developers here and there is not going to work. The market doesn’t care about you, and it’s not interested in your sense of community or your needs. If you don’t have money, you are a non-entity in that system.”

Less likely than an added penny to sales tax is another proposed revenue stream option of a property tax or real estate transfer tax. The latter would need state statute revision and would undoubtedly meet with stiff resistance from other parts of Wyoming where Teton County is viewed as an unsustainable playground for the rich and

Norman Smith’s four-room log cabin homestead near Blacktail Butte was valued at $5,000 in 1918. Shown here in 1912. PHOTO: JACKSON HOLE HISTORICAL SOCIETY & MUSEUM

famous.

The debacle over planning for The Grove is the final impetuous needed in getting the Housing Authority under a joint town-county umbrella.

Politicians have been hinting at the idea of restructuring the agency and all indications from the two-day summit are TCHA can play a major role in helping to alleviate the housing shortage in the valley, but will likely do so under the purview of both the town council and board of commissioners, if not a regional scope.

News that Habitat for Humanity is seriously considering giving up on building in Teton County put a punctuation mark on the end of the housing summit. In a statement released by Habitat for Humanity of the Greater Teton Area, reps from Habitat expressed discouragement over high land prices and burdensome regulations that may cause the agency to seek out neighboring counties as more sustainable alternatives to building homes in Teton County.

PROPS & DISSES

Opinion by JAKE NICHOLS

@theplanetjh

One foot in the Grove

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The Grove is too far gone to save or scrap. The decision to award a construction contract for the second phase of the maligned affordable housing project is the only reasonable way out of a FUBAR condition.

How the project ran afoul with its bloated budget is a question that needs addressing, but it’s a separate question from the what-do-we-dowith-this-structure-now issue. An internal audit has absolved Teton County Housing Authority The Grove. JACKSONHOLEREALESTATE.COM administrators from being outright incompetent.

An external audit, known locally as Tim Rieser, has detected more than a few potential rotten apples in the Authority’s pie in the sky apartment complex for working class heroes.

But commissioners opted last week not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. They approved $9.2 million toward Phase II for an additional 24 units that may not be targeted to the idealized under-median income sector but will still fill up three seconds after the paint dries.

Commissioners Barb Allen and Paul Vogelheim may have trouble seeing the grove for the trees. Former commissioner Paul Perry’s call for a pause is also not likely to do anything but increase the overall ticket as construction costs rise every day electeds spend haggling over who’s screwing who.

The ironic curse of the Grove isn’t lost on us, either. The property originally under TCHA ownership was the parcel traded to the town for the START Bus facility —another pricey project coming under some public scrutiny.

And the land the Grove currently occupies was once a well-used dog park — one that is still looking for a new home. Neighbors of Powderhorn Park are howling over the town’s decision to carve out an area in the east end playground for canines and their leash holders. A petition has garnered enough signatures to convince the council to revisit the designation.

Town manager Bob McLaurin is spot on when he told a local newspaper, “You’re never going to find a place that everybody likes.”

Early riser?

The menace of modern day trappers

Visit our website

TetonWyo.org The public meeting agendas and minutes for the Board of County Commissioners and Planning Commission can also be found in the Public Notices section of the JH News and Guide.

MAY 27, 2015 | 5

Pioneer Homestead needs looking into. For years, the subsidized senior housing complex has been plagued with complaints from tenants that management is heavy-handed and nurtures a “culture of fear,” according to a quote in the News&Guide a year ago. That paper has done a commendable job riding hard on the apartment complex run by Deborah and Claude Barnes.

Dozens of tenants have complained about conditions at Pioneer Homestead Apartments. The troubled old folks’ home finds itself in the news yet again this week after management evicted a diabetic tenant, Jan Olsen, and tossed his belongings in a dumpster while he was in a nursing home recuperating from a broken hip.

The coldhearted news follows an ongoing lawsuit brought by Dennis Olsen for wrongful eviction last year. He has since moved out but is seeking punitive damages and revocation of Homestead’s Section 44 tax status.

Homestead ownership (North Star Management out of Minnesota) has repeatedly dodged phone calls from the media. They didn’t answer ours, either.

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Pioneering spirit

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It’s hard to believe the practice of trapping is making a resurgence in Teton County solely on economic realities. Fur prices skyrocketed during the recession, though they’ve tailed off recently. Eye-popping price-per-pelt figures have spurred many a Davy Crocket-wannabe to invest in a half-dozen 330 conibears and head for the hills.

In Wyoming’s more rural counties, where 4H is more popular than junior cotillion classes, trapping could understandably provide a means to put dinner on the table one cape at a time. But in ritzy Teton County, where any The menace of modern day derelict can walk into a restaurant for breakfast and be the sous chef by that trappers. PHOTO: HILEMAN evening’s dinner, there are easier ways to skin a cat making a buck.

That leads me to the neo-woodsman movement as the primary factor driving the uptick in trapping activity in Teton County. One scan of Facebook and it’s easy to find several tree-hugging hipsters who’ve suddenly discovered their inner-man(woman) by growing vegetables in the backyard and hunting their own protein. An extension of the Paleo Peacenik crusade probably involves Silicon Valley warriors who’ve traded in their iPhones for Bowie knives.

Wyoming Untrapped has been working feverishly to get trapping banned in the Cache Creek drainage and other popular recreation areas where rusty jaws are more likely to clamp down on a Golden Retriever than a red fox. Lisa Robertson launched WU after incidents in Red Top Meadows and elsewhere highlighted the dangers of traps placed too close to dog walking trails.

Running a trap line close to the trail in Cache Creek is just plain lazy. Real mountain men hump it to get to their traps and they check them responsibly. Too many trendy trappers are looking for the path of no resistance.

Robertson is right. No trapping should be allowed anywhere near trails in popular areas like Cache Creek. This is not the 1800s.

And WU and its ilk shouldn’t stop there. State trapping laws are updated every three years. This summer marks Game & Fish discussions about possible revisions (July 8-10 in Cody). One thing that desperately needs to change is how often traps need to be checked. In Wyoming, an animal can spend three days in a leg-hold trap waiting for a mercy killing. Other type traps and snares require 13 days between required checks. That’s simply too long to allow an animal to suffer.

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@theplanetjh

Paging Dr. Buck

Yes, that’s Jackson’s Buck Parker on NBC’s new reality survival show “The Island.” The 41-year-old doctor (Parker is a trauma surgeon now living in Orlando, Florida) managed to escape the first week of his TV ordeal which included snakes.

“BTW, No, I’m not going to grab the HEAD of an angry 9.5-ft boa constrictor [on] the FIRST DAY!” Parker wrote on Facebook. “Haha … tail was good enough for me.”

Survivalist Bear Gryllis hosts the show. Producers were looking for a doctor when they chose Parker to joing the castaways. Parker said he lost 18 pounds while hunting for food with only three knives, three small machetes and a few headlamps as provided gear.

Parker moved to Jackson with his family when he was 12. The Parker’s own The Island features Dr. Buck Parker. the Anvil Motel and Nani’s Ristorante & Bar. PHOTO: NBC Follow Dr. Buck on Twitter at @drbuckparker. Watch episodes at www.

NBC.com.

Lynch eulogized in Milwaukee

Teton County growing fast

Unaffordable living

The Wyoming Oil and Gas Fair is pulling out of Jackson. The annual convention has been held in the Tetons for 18 years running but organizers say they will opt for Casper this September, citing rising costs and “ Teton County’s anti-energy attitude,” according to Dave Hutton, the fair’s general manager.

JONATHAN THOMPSON, HIGH COUNTRY NEWS “We don’t have the picturesque environment Jackson does and the picturesque village, but I think Casper can stand on its own,” Hutton added.

The story appeared in the Casper Star Tribune and on K2 Radio.

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According to a story in the Wyoming Tribune Eagle, a national report shows Wyoming is making big strides in the number of businesses owned by women. The State of Women-Owned Businesses Report stated women-owned businesses in Wyoming increased from 11,148 in 1997 to an estimated 19,300 in 2015.

UW favors speedier tempo A story in USA Today’s Sport’s section mentioned Wyoming as a basketball team that could benefit from a proposed reduction in shot clock time.

In an effort to speed up play, NCAA officials are considering changing the time a team has to possess the ball until they take a shot from 35 seconds to 30 seconds. The Rules Oversight Committee will discuss the change on June 8.

Pokes basketball coach Larry Shyatt believes the change could help methodically defensive teams like his.

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Oil and Gas abandons Jackson

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This 50-unit, $11 million affordable housing project is under construction in Durango, Colorado, where the workforce has been squeezed out of the rental and homebuying markets. Many more projects like this are needed Westwide to solve the current housing crisis PHOTO:

A High Country News opinion piece authored by Jonathan Thompson was printed in last Sunday’s Denver Post. The story, entitled “When living where you work is out of reach,” lamented the high cost of living in the Rocky Mountain West.

Thompson included Pitkin and Summit Counties in Colorado, along with Moab’s Grand County, Utah, as places where it is getting increasingly difficult to afford housing. Teton County made special mention as the toughest.

“A good measure of this phenomenon is the percentage of a community’s income that comes from labor, as opposed to that which comes from other sources, primarily investments,” Thompson wrote. “According to Headwaters Economics research, nearly half of the total personal income in Teton County, Wyoming, home of Jackson, comes from investment-related sources.”

Chasing Tails

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Wyoming Public Radio aired a piece on the latest Census Bureau results showing new numbers for the state. For the first time, Wyoming has two cities with a population of at least 60,000 (Casper and Cheyenne), while Natrona was identified as the fastest-growing county in the state. Teton County grew the second fastest since 2010 at over seven percent.

State economist Wenlin Liu said, “Overall tourism activity is doing really well in the past the few years. For Teton County you mostly attribute that to labor demands for service jobs.”

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“I reveled in having so much sky beneath me as we traversed the knife-edge ridge,” Luke Lynch recalled in the winter 2015 issue of Mountain Outlaw. “ We soaked in the morning splendor on the summit, then plunged more than 5,000 vertical feet to the valley floor, quads burning as the snow transitioned from chalk to crust to creamy corn.”

Lynch’s life story appeared in his hometown paper, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, written by Sarah Hauer. The 39-year-old was killed in an avalanche on Mount Moran on May 17. He left behind his wife, Kathy, and their three sons – Max, 6; Will, 3; and Sam, 1. Lynch’s brother, Matthew, was killed in a 2008 cycling accident in Chicago.

Lynch was described by friends as a “true outdoorsman.” As a kid, he went on wilderness adventures at Camp Manito-wish in Boulder Junction, one day Luke Lynch camping in Oregon in 2008. raising money for the camp in 2001 by canoeing 1,600 miles over 87 days on a PHOTO: SAM MOULTON trek from northern Saskatchewan to the Arctic Ocean.

8 | MAY 27, 2015

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MAY 27, 2015 | 9

see HOUSING CRISIS, page 10

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leave the valley? Move to Victor, Driggs, Alpine or Alta and commute? Or will we find a place that we can barely afford? Every three bedroom that I’ve seen is double the price I’m paying. So I’m looking for something with two bedrooms now and my best leads have come by word of mouth.

“I’ve been told by landlords that they no longer advertise their places in the newspaper or through online vehicles simply because of the sheer number of respondents,” said Planet Editor Robyn Vincent, who just moved under duress after her West Kelly Avenue home was sold the same week it went on the market.

In its Comprehensive Plan, the town and county set a goal of housing 65 percent of the workforce locally, a goal that some feel is unrealistic.

County Commissioner Melissa Turley said she thinks the county’s goal to house 65 percent of its workforce is possible, “but not without a dedicated funding stream and a coordinated, effective housing effort.”

Turley added, “We’ve done great work to house our workforce over the last 20 years — in fact, as the owner of a deed restricted home, I am proof of that — but it is projected that we might need as many as 280 new workforce housing units every year for the next ten years to meet our goal of

were compelled to check in with more folks one year later.

In 2015, property values are climbing back to their peak before the recession began in 2008 and with inventory low, many renters are being pushed out of their homes with little time to search for a new one before the summer workforce arrives. This tightens the rental market further.

Appraiser McKenzie Hammond said she is seeing home values increase 1 to 5 percent per month this year, which has been encouraging owners to sell.

But the limited supply of rental properties leaves a lot of Jackson residents in the lurch. As a single mom with two kids and a dog, I happen to be one of them. Hold on, there’s a knock on my home office door.

“I’m so sorry,” offered Realtor Sarah Kerr of RE/MAX Obsidian Real Estate, the listing agent for my Hall Street townhouse. She stopped by unannounced to drop off a sign. “I always feel bad for people like you who are caught in the middle.”

I wish she wasn’t so nice.

Estay’s landlady had tears in her eyes when she told her she was selling, she said. Indeed, these are emotional times.

When you receive the dreaded news, a sobering set of questions comes to mind: Will we have to

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“It was like walking in on your partner with someone else.”

That’s how Caroline Croft Estay remembers the day not long ago when her landlady told her she was selling the home that she and her family of six rents in East Jackson. The Crofts had just cleaned the carpets to get ready for a walkthrough and were planning to ask their landlady about staining the deck and planting a garden.

“We had a verbal agreement to stay,” Estay said.

“I was expecting to sign a lease and [then] I was told she’s selling. It just feels like nobody’s got each other’s back now when it comes to housing.

Everyone is out for money. Did we not learn anything karmaically from 2007?”

Last June, when Christie Koriakin wrote the perennial housing crisis story, “God’s Country, Renter’s Hell,” for The Planet, she profiled Jared Rogers, an executive chef who had been living in his car for the past six months because he couldn’t find a decent place to live. Rogers has since moved out of the state to pursue paragliding, but the roadblocks he encountered trying to find an affordable place to live for him and his dog resonated with folks across the valley. Jackson’s housing crisis continues to swell and, on the heels of the inaugural housing summit in Jackson, we

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10 | MAY 27, 2015

from HOUSING CRISIS, page 9

Cathy Beloeil lost home and business on same day. PHOTO: JOSH MYERS housing 65 percent of the workforce locally.”

The Grove, a mixed-use project near the Teton County Library with 20 rental apartments and 48 units for sale, is Teton County Housing Authority’s first foray into the rental market. The rentals, expected to be completed by Aug. 1, are the first phase of a three-part project on Scott Lane and Snow King Avenue with commercial space below and two floors of apartments above. Funding was recently approved for the second and third phase of freestanding condominiums for sale.

“The reason the first phase is being built with rentals was a response to a need for them,” Housing Authority Board Member Brian Siegfried said.

The lottery process for a modern one-, oneplus-, two-, two-plus-, or three-bedroom rental ended this week. I entered, even though they do not allow dogs.

Searching for solutions

Tom Evans, a longtime Jackson real estate broker, said the town’s policy to build affordable homes is not filling the gap. What we need, he says, is more rental apartments. He sees two viable options: One is getting the town to lease land designated for commercial developers to a private entity to build apartments. The other option is to build a tunnel to Victor, Idaho where rates are also on the rise but in comparison to Jackson, affordable housing opportunities abound, Evans said.

“The county should not be in the housing business,” he said. “We’ve been missing the boat.

The people buying aren’t buying half-a-million dollar condos, they are buying $5 million houses.

They still need their house cleaned and their lawn mowed. Those are [the people] who we need rentals for. With all the money we’ve spent we could build a tunnel through to Victor to create more opportunities for people to live in an affordable area in free-market conditions.”

Siegfried, who is also an associate broker at Sotheby’s, said more than half of the workforce housing is already produced by the private sector.

Jorge Moreno made Super 8 his home for weeks. PHOTO: JOSH MYERS Turley agreed that private business plays a role in creating viable living options in the valley.

“If the free market could solve our workforce housing challenge, it would have already happened,” she said. “There are ways local government can facilitate the free market construction of workforce housing, but this problem won’t be solved without creating more publicly or privately subsidized housing.”

Town Councilman Jim Stanford highlighted the crisis at a recent meeting when he suggested creating a municipal campground for seasonal workers. A campground in town would relieve the pressure seasonal workers put on Forest Service campgrounds and the dirt roads to them and put an end to the “cat and mouse” game they have to play to find affordable housing.

“Curtis Canyon was never meant to be a commuter corridor,” he said.

Homeowners who are illegally renting their homes to vacationers are playing another “cat and mouse” game, he said.

“We are losing a lot of housing to short-term rentals for tourists so that people can make a buck,” Stanford said.

For the past two years, Stanford has been an advocate of cracking down on illegal short-term rentals, a proposal that was shelved last year. He has also advocated for a project to build rental units near Hall and Redmond streets and zone for more housing and less commercial property.

“If we zone for more (hotel) lodging, the deeper the hole we are in,” he said.

Housing experts and politicians involved in the first-ever housing summit last week talked a lot about raising sales taxes to create a funding stream for affordable housing — a measure that would require voter support in an upcoming election. There was also widespread support for restructuring the housing organizations so that there is more collaboration. In addition to the Housing Authority run by the county, there is the nonprofit Jackson Hole Community Housing Trust, which is actively seeking funding for a project

Caroline Croft Estay, one of many renters who got “sold out.” PHOTO: JOSH MYERS

on Hall and Redmond streets, and Habitat for Humanity, a private nonprofit that is not affiliated with the government.

“One of the big conclusions that the Housing Authority stated is that we are interested in creating a more regional housing authority, including Teton County, Idaho and even Sublette County,” Siegfried said.

An independent report on affordable housing funded by Don Opatrny, a private investor and chairman of the board at the Center for the Arts, identifies “inefficiencies,” “frictions” and “inconsistencies,” in the town and county’s affordable housing policies. The report, culled from interviews with more than 70 housing stakeholders, says the community would have to build two and a half Groves per year to meet a housing needs assessment from 2007. Its author, Katy Niner, said Opatrny took an interest in the housing crisis after attending town council meetings and listening to the heated debates about the proposed Comprehensive Plan for potential commercial development.

It comes down to supply and demand. More hotels leads to greater demands for low-wage workers who need affordable housing, and means less space to house them. The demolition of the old Western Hotel — where dozens of low-income people were displaced — to build a Marriott is a prime example.

“I’m hopeful it was helpful at the summit,” Opatrny said. “A lot of the issues we raised were on the whiteboard.”

In its recommendations, the report calls for an overview of the county’s 1,488 affordable, deedrestricted units and suggests concentrating highdensity housing by offering incentives to build and create open space in order to avoid street canyon effect with too many tall buildings downtown.

Other ideas include a partnership between the Jackson Hole Chamber of Commerce and the town and county to develop housing for rent for small business owners and their employees.

The study also addresses two population-related

Too good to be true? Prime location. Cozy one bedroom. Plenty of light. F/L/D, NS/NP. “Poverty with a view” has never been more apropos.

What about the Latino community

Losing a home and a business

A home for those who give back

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

MAY 27, 2015 | 11

With increased demand for rentals and fewer supply options, some landlords have become more restrictive about who they rent to. Even the Housing Trust, which used to ask about volunteer work and favor people who are community service oriented, is now only prioritizing emergency service providers. And landlords who used to consider pets are getting more restrictive.

Both Caroline Croft Estay and her husband Pete Croft have dedicated their careers to helping developmentally disabled kids and adults, sometimes taking care of them in their home or teaching them how to live independently. Pete is a fourth generation Teton Valley, Idaho native who works at C-V Ranch. Caroline is a licensed independent care provider who spearheaded the integrated employment program for Vertical Harvest to provide jobs for her clients. For the past two years Caroline’s tenth grade son and seventh grade daughter have volunteered at the Special Olympics. The couple also has two children under 3 years old and a dog.

I get exhausted just thinking about the logistics of their family. But when I walk over to their house for dinner, there is a clean and quiet hum of activity. After 15 years in Jackson, the Crofts were able to use their connections to find a new home. A friend’s neighbor who will be leaving this summer rented them their place in Cottonwood Park. Starting in August, they will pay almost 20 percent more than they did in East Jackson, forcing them to cut back on their budget. But they are relieved to be able to stay in the valley.

“I sent out a mass email and I had such an outpouring,” Estay said. “We had to stay in Wyoming for the kids’ school.”

Those were my sentiments exactly when I sarcastically posted on Facebook asking for a “three bedroom house with a fenced in yard for my dog, and Teton views by a babbling brook.”

God knows there’s nothing in the classifieds.

No luck yet.

“Sure there are a lot of 20-somethings out there looking for housing, but there are so many families that are displaced now,” Estay said. “You have to be open to anything.”

My search to find people in the same boat as me — trying to decide what to sacrifice if they can even manage to stay in town — ended after I checked my email and walked around the block.

I found three people with situations similar to mine. One is moving back east to my hometown of Rochester, N.Y., another is being priced out of her home and business and doesn’t know what to do, and then there’s the Croft Estay family.

Like Estay, Cathy Beloeil, owner of Café Boheme, says she knows what it’s like to feel like you are getting the rug pulled out from under you. She has moved four times in the past five years.

“Every time I move into a new place it gets sold,” she said. But losing her home, now in Victor, and her business both on the same day has her reeling.

“Maybe I’ll find a piece of land to put a caravan on, then I’ll really be a bohemian.”

Former Mayor Mark Barron is leasing Beloeil’s cafe space, which is between the post office and Kmart, to Persephone Bakery to open a new restaurant.

“My error was I trusted him 100 percent,” she said, adding that she did not read the fine print to see that she didn’t have the right of first refusal on the cafe. “I understand that it’s their right to not want me here, but I would have liked the respect of being able to make an offer.”

Her attorney sent Barron a letter asking for options on a month-to-month, two- and five-year leases but did not get a response, she said.

Barron said he and his wife, State Rep. Ruth Ann Petroff “totally get the housing problem” and offer their employees housing for less than Housing Authority prices.

“As the original owners and tenants of the SevenTen Split café unit, we paid all the employee housing mitigation fees for that space,” he explained in an email. “Over the course of a five-year lease, we have forgiven many thousands of dollars in late fees, underpaid rent and discounted rent for the current tenant. Rather than kicking out the business for being in default, we worked with them to provide the opportunity to get through the entire term of the lease, which runs through May 31.”

Boloeil said she was able to get a month extension on her home in Victor but a sign in

her café is counting down the days until her commercial lease ends.

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

As housing gets tighter, Latinos are being marginalized because they have large families and they may not have documentation, said Daniela Botur, a board member at the Latino Resource Center.

“These are major issues, particularly for Latinos who have not been a part of the conversation so far,” she said.

Jorge Moreno is a case manager at the Latino Resource Center. He said not a day goes by when he doesn’t receive a call about the housing crisis.

“People are losing their homes suddenly or trying to maintain the housing that they have,” he said. “We have clients who say landlords are raising the rent from 20 to 100 percent. They are forced to live month-to-month with no contract to protect them. They don’t want to do contracts for a year.”

Moreno knows the hardships firsthand after living at the Super 8 motel on and off for one month after his father suddenly sold his Rangeview home.

“I was going to take my wife and two kids to Oregon to stay with family and send money to them,” he said. “I was planning to camp or sleep in my car so I can provide for my family. All of the stuff I want to do for this community, everything was going to stop.”

A board member of the Doug Coombs Foundation who volunteers at the library to help with tax preparation and translates for various organizations, Moreno was on the cusp of leaving when he was lucky enough to find an apartment at Blair Place. The apartments across from the middle school have a waitlist of 60 people, he said.

Moreno described a sentiment that is becoming too common in Teton County: Losing your home and feeling desperate to find a new one.

“It changes the way you feel about who you are,” he said. “You are no longer in control of your life.

You lose friendships and your community dreams

and hopes.”

| PLANETJH.COM |

issues that are not often brought up in public debate. It says that the focus on two-to-three bedroom units is not serving the growing elderly and Latino populations. Latinos who uphold the service industry on which the tourist economy depends are “most at risk of displacement through the natural forces of redevelopment,” the report states.

PHOTO: JOSH MYERS

| PLANETJH.COM |

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

12 | MAY 27, 2015

THIS WEEK: MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2015 WEDNESDAY 5I27

SATURDAY & SUNDAY BRUNCH 10:30am - 3:00pm

Bottomless Mimosas & Bloody Marys $15

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1/2 Off Drinks Daily 5-7pm

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Monday-Saturday 11am, Sunday 10:30am 832 W. Broadway (inside Plaza Liquors)•733-7901

n Adult Intro to Lake Kayaking at Slide Lake 8:30am, Rendezvous River Sports. Teton County/ Jackson Parks and Recreation Department and Rendezvous River Sports have partnered to offer an introduction to lake kayaking for adults on Slide Lake.

RRS will provide instruction, kayaks, paddles, lifejackets and transportation. Registration takes place at the recreation center or online at www.tetonparksandrec. org. Class meets at Rendezvous River Sports shop located at 945 West Broadway in Jackson.307-739-9025. http://www.tetonparksandrec.org n Big Skillet 9:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar. $5.00 cover. 307733-2207. http://www.milliondollarcowboybar.com/ calendar.htm n Chess Club for Grades K-12 - Youth Auditorium 3:30pm, Teton County Library. Grades K to 12. Have fun playing chess! Beginning, intermediate and advanced players welcome. Hone your skills and learn new strategies. Location: Youth Auditorium. Free. 733-2164 ext.

118, bholmes@tclib.org. http://tclib.org/index.php/ calendar/ n Fables, Feathers, and Fur 10:30am, National Museum of Wildlife Art. Free to all guests Storytelling at the museum is an exciting opportunity for young visitors to engage with the art through looking, reading and making in the galleries. All materials will be provided. Free. http://www.jacksonholechamber.com/events/ n Jackson Hole Rodeo 8:00pm, Jackson Hole Rodeo Grounds. Come prepared, we rodeo rain or shine you won’t find any rain delays here, we’re cowboys no matter what the weather we get the job done, plus you can use your jacket as a

ofEVENTS

ONLINE AT PJHCALENDAR.COM pad for your seat if its warm. $15.00 - $30.00. 307-7337927. jhrodeo.com n Karaoke 9:00pm, Virginian Saloon. . Free. 307-7399891. n Lap-Sit - Victor 11:00am, Valley of the Tetons Library. Free. http://tetons. lili.org/ n Lost Wax Bronze Casting 6:00pm, Center for the Arts. http://www.artassociation. org/calendar.html n Mountain Story: Body, Mind, Mountain: Material Nature and Environmental Engagement, Jeff McCarthy - Ordway Auditorium 12:00pm, 125 Virginian Lane. A climber, professor and writer, McCarthy asks us provocative questions about alpinism and the stories we tell. Why have so many environmental leaders come to us from climbing? Do mountains show us the overlap between our physical selves and the material world? What role does storytelling play in all this? Light lunch will be served. Free. 733-2164 ext. 229, http://tclib.org/index.php/calendar/ n Mountain Story Exhibit Opening Reception: The Night Mountain - Gallery 5:00pm, Teton County Library. Join us for an opening reception with photographer and writer Jeff Long. The Night Mountain is a collection of photographs and text - a visual and narrative expedition - that introduces a nighttime wilderness hidden just beyond human sight. From Everest to El Cap, from the Tibetan plateau to Death Valley, photographer Jeff Long’s destinations all meld into a single world mountain unified by darkness - a mons mundus -that is at once personal, physical, and intensely beautiful. Over a six-year span, logging over 350 full nights, Long sank into a midnight ecosystem of slowed time, half-glimpsed animals, shifting gravity, elastic clouds, star trails, and

alien colors. His photographs are on view through Aug. 27. Free. 733-2164 ext. 135, http://tclib.org/index.php/ calendar/ n Mountain Story Film & Q&A: 3000 Cups of Tea: The Mission and the Madness, Jennifer Jordan Ordway Auditorium 6:00pm, 125 Virginian Lane. Go behind the scenes with Jordan as she documents the meteoric rise and devastating fall of Greg Mortenson, author of “Three Cups of Tea” and founder of the Central Asia Institute. This film-in-progress investigates accusations leveled against Mortenson by 60 Minutes in 2011, a scandal that mortally, but not fatally, wounded his Institute’s mission to build schools and educate girls in Pakistan and Afghanistan.

Free. 733-2164 ext. 229, http://tclib.org/index.php/ calendar/ n Older American’s Month Activities 8:00am, Senior Center of Jackson Hole. Teton County/ Jackson Parks and Recreation and Senior Center of Jackson Hole team up to celebrate Older American’s Month. From cognitive health, getting fit and learning something new, there is an activity each week we encourage you to attend. Free. 307-733-7300. http://seniorcenterjh.org/ n Photoshop Fundamentals 4:00pm, Center for the Arts. http://www.artassociation. org/calendar.html n Songwriter’s Alley Open Mic 8:00pm, Haydens Post. Sign-up at 7 p.m. Music starts at 8 p.m. Performers are entered into a weekly drawing for $25 gift certificate to Melody Creek Guitars. Featured songwriter/band each week. For the lineup and such, surf to Facebook.com/SongwritersAlley. Free. (307) 7343187. n Story Time - Victor

MUSIC BOX

Charles Bradley speaks candidly about his band, His Extraordinaires, and the business of music. PHOTO: ELIZABETH WEINBERG

@ScreenDoorPorch

“I’ve tried so hard to make it in America.

Why is it so hard to make it in America? A land of milk and honey, a land supposed to be built with love. It takes love and understanding to live and let live.” ~Charles Bradley lyrics from his 2011 debut album, No Time For Dreaming.

C

CALENDAR continues on page 14

A chat with James McMurtry No stranger to the valley, James McMurtry returns Saturday to play the Knotty Pine.

PJH: I read a quote of yours recently that somewhat surprised me.

“Back before Napster and Spotify, we toured to promote record sales, now we make records to promote tour dates.” You strike me as a songwriter with a desire to record and plenty of material to do so. Is promoting tour dates really why you make records?

MAY 27, 2015 | 13

see MUSIC, page 14

Roth, who also happened to produce A my Winehouse’s eponymous release, Back In Black.

Bradley started his career with the well-received retro-soul release, No Time for Dreaming [2011], followed

by Victim of Love [2013], all the while playing prominent festivals across the country and Europe. Daptone’s deliberate and optimistic forge into propelling aging soul darlings like Bradley and labelmate Sharon Jones has been a successful one. The Brooklyn label bridges the narrow gap of Motown-era soul-pop to ‘70s R&B, and a psychedelic Curtis Mayfield-esque vibe. To Bradley, though, it’s all about experiencing life to the fullest, and the new balancing act that comes with success in the music business.

“I look at this world as my home,

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

James McMurtry: Pretty much. Writing and recording can both be quite tedious, though recently I’ve been enjoying writing more than I did in the past. Live shows are the fun part.

PJH: Why the seven-year break between albums?

McMurtry: Our club draw held up pretty well during those years and the money comes from clubs. With CD sales so low and download royalties so low, we don’t see

n Big Skillet 9:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar. $5.00. 307733-2207. http://www.milliondollarcowboybar.com/ calendar.htm n Evening of Beauty 6:00pm, Teton Pines. An Evening of Beauty in Wilson at the lovely Teton Pines, and you’re invited! Sip on drinks and enjoy light hors d’oeuvres while Dr. Mark Freeman and other industry experts share information on the latest anti-aging and cosmetic enhancement procedures to help you look and feel your best. 307201-7121. n Habitat Daisy Bush Dedication 5:30pm, Habitat Daisy Bush Homes. Join Teton Habitat to pass the keys to the Evenson, Jimenez, Saito, and Silva Families! Free. 307-734-0828. http://tetonhabitat.org n Jackson Hole Classical Academy Open House 4:30pm, JH Classical Academy. This will be an informal time to tour the school, learn about our curriculum, speak with teachers, and inquire about the vision of JH Classical Academy. Free. 307-201-5040. n Jewelry Making for Ages 6-16 3:30pm, The Local Galleria. Supplies & snacks included. $25/session or $80/4 session punch card. Contact Teri McLaren at (208) 270-0883, teri@tetonvalleylocalart.com. http://tetonvalleychamber.com/ community-calendar/ n Mountain Story Film & Q&A: On the Wild Edge David Petersen - Ordway Auditorium 6:00pm, 125 Virginian Lane. This unscripted documentary, by European filmmaker Christopher Daley,

harles Bradley’s story is one for the ages. A late bloomer at age 66, Bradley’s life awakening came just a handful of years ago after a lifetime of struggle from being a homeless runaway teenager, managing poverty and extreme illness, spending decades hitchhiking around the country working odd jobs, enduring the murder of his brother, and being a James Brown impersonator to pay the bills. That was, until his talent was recognized

by Daptone Records founder Gabriel

THURSDAY 5I28

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

BY AARON DAVIS

10:00am, Valley of the Tetons Library. http://tetons. lili.org/node/149 n Tavern Trivia 7:00pm, Town Square Tavern. Jackson’s most hilarious trivia night featuring the most entertaining MC in town, Crazy Tom. Test your trivia knowledge every week for prizes and swag. Free. 307-733-3886 n Tech Tutor 10:00am, Teton County Library. The library offers one-on-one computer and technology tutoring on topics of your choice including help with devices such as iPads, smart phones and e-book readers. One session per week, per person. To reserve a spot, sign up at the Library Front Desk or call 733-2164, press 1. Free. http://tclib.org/index.php/calendar/ n Walking Tours 10:30am, Center of the Town Square. Join historical society staff and volunteers for an hour-long walking tour of historic downtown Jackson. $5 for adults.

307-733-2414 x 213. http://www.jacksonholehistory. org/calendar/ n Wednesday Evening Conditioning Hike - Horse Thief Knob 6:00pm, South Jackson. Due to this being an evening hike with daylight time limited, these hikes will leave right at 6pm sharp. Destination: Horse Thief Knob.

Hike Area: South Jackson. 4 miles round trip. T500’ climb to the top, Leader: Kent Fiske. For details: http:// www.meetup.com/Wyoming-Teton-Group-SierraClub/events/222193114/

| PLANETJH.COM |

Soul and country coming to the Hole

and everywhere I go I try to give everyone the best of my soul like it’s my last show,” Bradley said. “When I see that people enjoy it, I just want to get nastier with it. That’s why, when I get off stage, I can tell that my spirit needs rest. I’ve actually lived and experienced most all of these songs, like ‘The World (Is Going Up In Flames).’ People are just people wherever you go and I want to sing to souls, feel what they feel in their heart.”

Bradley ’s (and Daptone’s) producer and co-songwriter, Thomas Brenneck, has constructed some utterly vintage imitation tones to wrap around the impassioned, raw voice of the “screaming eagle of soul.” With any fast-tracked success story lingers the questions of creative control, adjusting to life on the road, and in Bradley’s case, being paired with a band of 20-something’s while also trying to manage career stress and keep everyone happy moving forward.

“Those guys [His Extraordinaires] are like my sons,” Bradley said, after asking me if I wanted “the truth” about the age disparity. “They are sweet guys and do anything for me. They can’t capture my soul and they’re excited to capture my soul through the music while growing into young men. I see what comes with time — with a fine wine or a Scotch, it has to age before it tastes good. When I want to get nasty, I have to be careful what I’m doing because they’re not there yet, but they’re growing and beautiful.”

“I’m working on album three and everybody wants a piece of me right now so I’m doing some songs that other people have written for me,” Bradley said. “Album four will be all of my songs, done my way, from my inner spirit. I don’t want to hurt nobody, I just want to just keep the music in the street going. It’s the bitter with the sweet. I feel a lot of things I don’t agree with, but I take the pain to keep everybody happy.”

Charles Bradley & His Extraordinaires will perform Sunday, June 14 at Contour Music Festival (June 11-14), outside on the main stage at Snow King Ball Field. For tickets and the full lineup, visit ContourMusicFestival.com.

| PLANETJH.COM |

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

14 | MAY 27, 2015

WELL, THAT HAPPENED explores and evokes the timeless relationships between humankind, wildlife and wild landscapes.

Follow the yearly elk hunt of writer, conservationist and traditional bowhunter David Petersen. The film also tracks the intimately shared lives and loves of a man and a woman, as significantly informed by a challenging life shared, through good times and bad, on the wild edge of nature. A preview screening and Q&A with Petersen. Free. 733-2164 ext. 229, http://tclib.org/ index.php/calendar/ n Mountain Story Writing Workshop: The Art of Narrative Storytelling John Long - Ordway Auditorium 10:30am, 125 Virginian Lane. Renowned rock climber and writer, Long shares the nuts and bolts behind successful narrative storytelling, an art that he fears is being usurped by tweets, Facebook posts and ramblings. Long teaches the elements that make a compelling narrative. Free.733-2164 ext. 229, http://tclib. org/index.php/calendar/ n Older American’s Month Activities 8:00am, Senior Center of Jackson Hole. Teton County/ Jackson Parks and Recreation and Senior Center of Jackson Hole team up to celebrate Older American’s Month. From cognitive health, getting fit and learning something new, there is an activity each week we encourage you to attend. Free. 307-733-7300. http:// seniorcenterjh.org n Photography Fundamentals 6:00pm, Center for the Arts. http://www.artassociation.org/calendar.html n Public Solar Astronomy 12:45pm, Elevated Grounds Coffehouse. Every Thursday for the rest of the Summer, Wyoming Stargazing will be offering FREE Solar Astronomy Programs out in front of Elevated Grounds coffee shop near the Aspen’s Market in Wilson. Come safely check out solar flares, sunspots, and other features on the Sun through our solar telescopes. You can even snap a picture of these incredible features through our telescope using your smartphone. Elevated Grounds will be having Happy Hour during that time and will be offering up some of their new drinks like Apollo’s Chariot. http://www.wyomingstargazing.org/calendar/ n Soul Journey, Soul Purpose Workshop with Australian Bestelling Author Belinda Grace 6:30pm, Spirit Bookstore. “Soul Journey, Soul Purpose” Workshop. Cost: $25 Call Spirit to register, space will be limited (307) 733-3382. n Tech Tutor 10:00am, Teton County Library. The library offers one-on-one computer and technology tutoring on topics of your choice including help with devices such as iPads, smart phones and e-book readers. One session per week, per person. To reserve a spot, sign up at the Library Front Desk or call 733-2164, press 1. Free. http://tclib.org/index.php/calendar/ n Toddler Time - Youth Auditorium 10:05am, Teton County Library. Every Tuesday at 10:05, 10:35 a.m. and 11:05 a.m. and Thursday at 10:05 a.m. Ages 3 and younger. Twenty-minute storytime with books, songs, finger plays and flannel board acts. Location: Youth Auditorium. Free. Youth Program Coordinator, Beth Holmes, 733-2164 ext.

CALENDAR continues on page 15

The Novel that Broke the Kindle’s back

By ANDREW MUNZ

@AndrewMunz

M

ark Z. Danielewski has established himself as one of the most ambitious, risktaking American authors of the past century. Not only are his novels thought provoking and challenging to read, but they also require physical demands of the reader, sometimes forcing them to repeatedly turn the book upside down after each chapter, or hold the pages in a mirror to read further. Now, with his new magnum opus, The Familiar, Danielewski aims to take readers on a long metaphysical journey told over the course of 27 volumes. That journey begins with the first book in the series One Rainy Day in May. It seemed appropriate for me to start the novel on a suitably rainy day in May. Although it is some 839 pages, I surged through it in two days due to the strange plot and the author’s fascination with typography.

Sentences swirl and bend around pages, with some folios only having one or two words each. Full-color paintings, sketches and smudges riddle the glossy pages making volume one of The Familiar less of a

book reading experience, and more of an art show.

The Familiar is meant to be more like a television show than a book series, Danielewski has said, with each novel being released three months after the last. While 27 volumes seems daunting and near impossible, I admire Danielewski’s ambition. His masterpiece novel House of Leaves left me floored and completely rattled, and it’s a book that I only recommend to the most daring readers. But his second novel, Only Revolutions, left me bored and exhausted (that’s the flipover-after-every-chapter book).

Looking at One Rainy Day in May as the pilot episode to his latest series, it suffers from the same mistakes that you see in a lot of first episodes of television shows. There are many characters to keep track of and

their attributes are more or less forgettable. Readers are only given a few hints to what the overall plot will be, nothing more than a few interesting moments to sink into.

But, that being said, there’s still a strong sense of style and mood, and even after finishing the book (and dipping into a glimpse of the second episode: Into the Forest) I’m anxious to see where Danielewski takes me.

One thing that novels like One Rainy Day in May demand is patience.

But in such a fast-paced world, that virtue is slowly dissipating from our lives. Even people who love to read (like myself) find it hard to finish a book once it’s been started, only because there are so many other distractions available. Kindles and other e-readers are said to help people finish the books they begin, but Danielewski’s books don’t convert properly to the e-reader format. Some Amazon reviews even complain about this fact but they still applaud the storytelling.

Two years ago, J.J. Abrams and Doug Dorst released a novel called S., which was a story within a story, complete with various loose-leaf inserts like maps, tissues and decoders. One of the reasons they wrote it was to create a novel impossible to translate to an electronic format. Because half of S. is told in the margins of the book, it would require some major reorganizing to transform it into something easily digestible on an e-reader.

As our society gets more technology-weary, it’s nice to see books like The Familiar: Volume 1: One Rainy Day in May break the mold and tell a story in a new and innovate way exclusive to physical pages between two covers.

from MUSIC, page 13

a lot of mailbox money anymore. When the clubs quit filling up, we need something for you guys to write about so people will know we’re coming to town. That’s when we have to make a record.

PJH: Do you have a lot of songs sitting around that have never been recorded?

McMurtry: I’ve left very few complete songs unrecorded.

Several recorded songs ended up scrapped. I do have acres of song fragments yet to be assembled into songs.

PJH: Teton County is an obvious staple in your tour schedule every year. To some degree, do you dictate your tour routes? What’s the ideal atmosphere or type of audience to perform for?

McMurtry: I can only dictate my routing in a vague sense. I’ll tell my agent to book a West Coast run in the fall, then he scouts avails and offers. We started playing The Mangy Moose sometime in the mid-nineties. It was always a fun gig. At some point we played the bar at Targhee. A couple of years later we had a day off that we couldn’t really afford. This was before “We Can’t Make it Here” when we really weren’t drawing well and we needed gas money. We called some friends in Driggs to see if there was anyplace we could play for the door and they hooked us up with The Knotty Pine in Victor. I don’t

James McMurtry PHOTO: SHANE MCCAULEY

think there had ever been a show there before. There was no stage then. Somehow they packed the place out on three days notice and it’s been a regular stop for us ever since. The best audience is multi-age, and a mix of those who listen and those who dance.

James McMurtry, 9 p.m. Saturday at the Knotty Pine in Victor, Idaho. $20. 208-787-2866.

THE FOODIE FILE Putting Up Morels

BY ANNIE FENN, MD @JACKSONFOODIE

T

If you come upon a cluster of morels, pinch the mushrooms off above the stem base and leave the root system in tact.

FRIDAY 5I29

MAY 27, 2015 | 15

CALENDAR continues on page 16

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

n Big Skillet 9:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar. $5.00 cover. 307733-2207. http://www.milliondollarcowboybar.com/ calendar.htm n Free Friday Tastings 4:00pm, Jackson Whole Grocer. Kick-off your weekend by sampling Jackson Whole Grocer’s featured beers, wines and spirits. Join Beverage Manager Mary Gordon from 4:00-6:00 p.m. every Friday afternoon for a taste of our featured drinks!. Free. 307-7330450. n Jazz Night 7:00pm, The Granary at Spring Creek Ranch. Jazz Night, 7 to 10 p.m. in The Granary at Spring Creek Ranch. Pam Drews Phillips (piano/vocals) Trio. Free.

733-8833. n Kristin & Tucker 10:00pm, Town Square Tavern. Local duo playing Folk, Bluegrass, and Americana. Free. http://www.townsquaretavern.com/event/kristin-tucker/ n Mary Neil-Singer/Songwriter 7:00pm, Three Peaks Dinner Table. Free. http://www. threepeaksdinnertable.com n Mountain Story Keynote: The Ones Who Go High John Long - Ordway Auditorium 7:30pm, 125 Virginian Lane. Climbing icon and author, John Long gives a poetic and pictorial look at rock climbing through photographs. He also shares a short film of the 19-day free-climb of the Dawn Wall on El Capitan by Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgeson, a feat that has drawn intense media attention. Location: Ordway Auditorium. Free. Adult Program Coordinator, Leah Shlachter, 733-2164 ext. 229, lshlachter@tclib. org. http://tclib.org/index.php/calendar/ n Mountain Story Writing Workshop: Into Your Wild Nick Heil - Ordway Auditorium 12:00pm, 125 Virginian Lane. Heil teaches the core ingredients of great adventure stories, looking at examples from Krakauer print classics to bold new ways writers are shaping and sharing their stories online.

Heil surveys long-form storytelling, essays, magazine

cool. Once the broth-poached morels are cool, transfer the mushrooms to a snack-sized or sandwich-sized Ziploc bag using a slotted spoon. Pour broth over the morels until the bag is nearly full. Seal tightly and freeze on a baking sheet with the bag on its side.

Frozen morels are perfect for making risotto. Thaw out the mushrooms and separate them from the broth, squeezing them dry before cooking. Sear the morels in a pan until they are a bit crispy, then fold them into a risotto made with the morel-chicken broth.

Morel-smothered chicken is a simple dish—and perhaps my favorite morel recipe—using bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs, slivers of preserved lemon, and the morel-rich chicken broth in the sauce. This recipe, as well as a great morel risotto recipe, can be found on jacksonholefoodie. com.

When your dewy, luscious morels are just picked, cook them very simply: seared in a hot pan with butter, salt and pepper. We’ll eat them like this every day with scrambled eggs or tucked into an omelet.

Another classic way to cook morels is to sear them in a pan with shallots and butter, then deglaze the pan with a bit of white wine. Once it cooks down, add a touch of cream and a handful of fresh herbs — chives, tarragon, and thyme would all be good choices. Serve the morels on toast, over a steak, or tossed with fresh pasta.

Always cook morels thoroughly; it won’t kill you to eat them raw, but it will make you sick. And don’t be tempted to can them using waterbased canning methods. Errors in canning can lead to botulism toxin.

Some people pressure-can morels with success, but I’ll leave that to the experts.

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

water. The salt water kills the bugs, or at least gets them migrating to the surface, and then you can rinse the mushrooms under cold water.

If you still have more morels than you can consume after one week, it is best to put them up for later. Morels can be dehydrated in the oven on its lowest setting overnight or until they are thoroughly dried. If you have a dehydrator, line up the morels on the trays and keep on low for up to 12 hours. Whether in the oven or in a dehydrator, keep checking in to make sure they are not getting too dried out.

Some people dry morels whole by threading them through the top of the stem with a needle and thread. Make sure the morels are not touching each other, and hang them in a cool dry place.

Dehydrated morels are great to have along on camping trips and in the pantry, but I think the morels lose quite a bit of flavor when dried.

I prefer to freeze mine. Clean, dry morels can be frozen whole by putting them on a baking sheet over wax paper in a single layer. Once frozen, transfer the morels to Ziploc bags, squeeze out all the air, and put them back in the freezer. You won’t need to defrost these morels before cooking; just get a pan really hot and throw them in frozen.

My favorite method of freezing morels, however, takes just a little bit more effort, and has the added benefit of creating an incredible morel-rich broth. Place clean, dry morels in a saucepan and cover with chicken broth – homemade if possible. If you don’t have homemade chicken broth on hand, reach for a low sodium brand like Swanson, which has certified organic varieties. Bring the broth to a low simmer for a few minutes, then transfer to a bowl to

| PLANETJH.COM |

he Italians have the perfect word for the tendency to gorge on certain foods when in season: scorpacciata. If you are a lucky forager with a haul of morels, that’s probably what you are doing right now. But before I share a few of my favorite morel recipes, we should address another happy problem.

Maybe you’ve collected more morels than you could possibly eat in one week. Now what? Should you dry them, can them, freeze them? First, you need to clean them. As soon as you get home, lay all the mushrooms out in a single layer on a flat surface. I use a baking rack placed over baking sheets.

Hopefully, you pinched them off above the stem and left the sandy root in the ground. If not, the morels will be coated inside and out with dirt and sand, and you haven’t done the morel population any favors. (Go back and read “Standing on Morel Ground” from a few Foodie Files ago.)

Shake off the dirt and sand, and pick off the stems and twigs. Discard any that are rotten or discolored with age. Tap the morels gently to evacuate any insects residing within the hollow stem.

Now leave the morels to dry out for a day or two — fresh-picked morels are often too soft and boggy to cook with and their flavor improves with age. After a few days, place the morels in a paper bag and put them in the fridge. They’ll keep like this for another week.

Are they clean enough to eat? That depends on how much you dislike biting into grit. Some people are vehemently against letting water touch a morel, and instead would just cut them in half and gently brush off the dirt and bugs with a small, soft brush. If your morels are already clean, this is probably all you need to do. I don’t mind a little bit of sand in my morels, but I don’t like eating bugs and my husband can’t stand the mouthfeel of a gritty mushroom. At my house, we give them a short bath.

Just before cooking, cut the mushrooms into halves or quarters — depending on the size — and give them a quick rinse in a colander with cold running water. If they are very dirty and there are a lot of bugs, soak them in a bowl of lightly salted

118, bholmes@tclib.org. http://tclib.org/index.php/ calendar/ n TYFS Open House and BBQ Lunch 11:30am, Teton Youth and Family Services. We will be giving tours of our Group Home, Therapy Facilities, Hirschfield Center for Children, and General Offices.

This is an opportunity to learn about what we do and see the facilities we work in. There will be a BBQ in our quad area- grab a friend and come join us for lunch.

Free. 307-413-2767. http://tetonyouthandfamilyservices.org/ n Wyoming’s Water Strategy- A Call to Action 6:00pm, Old Wilson Schoolhouse. Please join Nephi Cole, Governor Matt Mead’s water policy advisor for a presentation on Wyoming’s Water Strategy. The plan calls for river restoration , the creation of uniform and credible climate, weather and streamflow data, groundwater analysis, and 10 reservoirs to be built in 10 years. http://www.jacksonholechamber.com/ events/

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| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

16 | MAY 27, 2015

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articles, new digital forms, and other recent examples of topnotch nonfiction to see what makes stories about outdoor exploits so compelling. Come away with fresh insights and skills to create and refine stories. Gain a better understanding of the fast-evolving publishing world that might be interested in them. Your adventure hasn’t ended when you come home and sit down at your keyboard. It’s just beginning. Free. Adult Program Coordinator, Leah Shlachter, 733-2164 ext. 229, lshlachter@tclib.org. http://tclib.org/index.php/calendar/ n Murphy’s Law 9:00pm, Virginian Saloon. Free. 739-9891. n Older American’s Month Activities 8:00am, Senior Center of Jackson Hole. Teton County/ Jackson Parks and Recreation and Senior Center of Jackson Hole team up to celebrate Older American’s Month. From cognitive health, getting fit and learning something new, there is an activity each week we encourage you to attend. Free. 307-733-7300. http:// seniorcenterjh.org n Photoshop Fundamentals 4:00pm, Center for the Arts. http://www.artassociation.org/calendar.html n Seven Brides for Seven Brothers 6:30pm, Jackson Hole Playhouse. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers is an unlikely love story featuring big laughs and lots of heart in this rowdy western musical comedy, a great choice for the whole family! One of the best shows to see in a broadway style musical! Make your

reservations today. Dinner: 6:30 Preshow: 7:30 Paint Your Wagon: 8:00. $19.00 - $60.00. http://jacksonholeplayhouse.com/ n Stargazing at the Center for the Arts 8:30pm, Center for the Arts. This spring, every clear Friday night, Wyoming Stargazing is hosting free public stargazing events on the lawn next to the Center for the Arts. During the stargazing events we will be using our giant Dobsonian Telescope with a 20″ primary mirror to look at planets, stars, nebulae, galaxies, and more! We will also bring several iPads with the Star Walk application installed on them so you can explore the heavens while others are looking through the telescopes. http://www. jacksonholechamber.com/events/

SATURDAY 5I30

n Big Skillet 9:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar. $5.00 cover. 307733-2207. http://www.milliondollarcowboybar.com/ calendar.htm n Cathedral Voices Sing Off 7:30pm, Center for the Arts. Cathedral Voices Annual Fundraiser Sing Off, Hors D’Oeuvres, Drinks and Silent Auction. 307-774-5497 n Chef’s Demonstration & Tasting 3:30pm, Jackson Whole Grocer. Learn how to cook like a pro with free demonstrations every week at Jackson Whole Grocer! Join Chef Patty Brennan on Saturday afternoons as she shares recipes, cooking techniques and tips for making meal planning a breeze. Free. 307-733-0450 n Fundamentals of Nature Photography 10:00am, Center for the Arts. http://www.artassociation. org/calendar.html n Guitarists Marco & Byron Farewell to Cafe Boheme

10:00am, Cafe Boheme. Farewell gathering for Café Boheme. Free. 733-5282. n Jackson Hole Mini Maker Faire 12:00pm, Jackson Campus Teton Science School. Maker Faire is the Greatest Show (and Tell) on Earth-a familyfriendly showcase of invention, creativity and resourcefulness, and a celebration of the Maker movement. Free.

(307) 733-3734. http://www.makerfaire.com n Jackson Hole Rodeo 8:00pm, Jackson Hole Rodeo Grounds. Come prepared we rodeo rain or shine you won’t find any rain delays here, we’re cowboys no matter what the weather we get the job done, plus you can use your jacket as a pad for your seat if its warm. $15.00 - $30.00. 307-733-7927. jhrodeo.com n James McMurtry 10:00pm, The Knotty Pine. http://www.307live.com/ ai1ec_event/james-mcmurtry/ n Murphy’s Law 9:00pm, Virginian Saloon. Free. 739-9891. n Oil Painting - For Adults 10:00am, The Local Galleria. Individualized instruction for the beginner to the advanced. All supplies included. $25 per class, $80 for a 4 lesson punch card. Supplies included. Contact Teri McLaren at (208) 270-0883, teri@tetonvalleylocalart.com. http://tetonvalleychamber.com/community-calendar/ n Rolling Into Readiness: Early Literacy 11:30am, Mike Yokel Park. Have fun, play and learn with your child when the Rolling into Readiness bus brings activities for kids ages 6 and under to your doorstep. Teton Literacy Center and Teton County Library will lead early literacy activities to support families in a successful transition into Kindergarten. Also, get the scoop on this year’s Kids Summer Reading program for children Birth-5th

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n Stagecoach Band 6:00pm, Stagecoach. Sunday Belongs to the World Famous Stagecoach Band “Church” Stagecoach Bar Style Great country music and dancing This band has played every Sunday for over 40 years. Free. 307-7334407. n Women’s Ride Day - Hoback Sports 10:00am, Hoback Sports. Women across the nation are gathering to enjoy a ride together on their local streets and trails to celebrate women in cycling. Whether you’re an accomplished rider or a first-timer, Women’s Ride Day and Women’s Ride Day training will help you connect with

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grade. Free. 733-2164 ext. 101. http://tclib.org/index. php/calendar/ n Seven Brides for Seven Brothers 6:30pm, Jackson Hole Playhouse. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers is an unlikely love story featuring big laughs and lots of heart in this rowdy western musical comedy, a great choice for the whole family! One of the best shows to see in a broadway style musical! Make your reservations today. Dinner: 6:30, Preshow: 7:30, Paint Your Wagon: 8:00. $19.00 - $60.00. http://jacksonholeplayhouse.com/ n Stand Up Paddle Boarding Lessons for Adults 8:30am, Rendezvous River Sports. Stand Up Paddle Boarding (SUP) is the fastest growing water sport in the world. Rendezvous River Sports will provide instruction, boards, paddles, wet suits, booties, life jackets and transportation. Participants should bring a swimsuit, towel, change of clothes, water, snacks and sunscreen.

Each class is $100. No refunds will be given for cancellations after the registration deadline.

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other women in your area who enjoy riding just as much as you! (307) 733-5335.

MONDAY 6I1

To have your event included in this calendar and online, upload your info at pjhcalendar.com

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

MAY 27, 2015 | 17

n 2015 Summit on the Snake Guide Night 5:00pm, Old Wilson Schoolhouse. Love the Snake River? Join us for an exciting evening of education about the Snake River corridor, including its birds, mammals, geology and plants. Presentations will all be given by local experts in their fields, both from the non-profit and government sectors.. $10.00. http://www.jacksonholechamber.com/events/ n Big Skillet 9:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar. $5.00 cover. 307733-2207. http://www.milliondollarcowboybar.com/ calendar.htm n Bluegrass Tuesday with One Ton Pig 7:30pm, Silver Dollar Bar. Free. 307-732-3939. http:// www.worthotel.com/dining-entertainment/ n Guitarist Marco Soliz at Jenny Lake Lodge 6:00pm, Jenny Lake Lodge. Guitarist Marco Soliz plays at Jenny Lake Lodge. Free. (307) 733-4647. http:// www.thewildwestwedding.com/ n Junior Golf Clinic 4:30pm, Snake River Sporting Club. Junior golfers of Teton County are invited to participate in Snake River Sporting Club’s community junior golf clinic series. The

County Library. Every Tuesday at 10:05, 10:35 a.m. and 11:05 a.m. and Thursday at 10:05 a.m. Ages 3 and younger. Twenty-minute storytime with books, songs, finger plays and flannel board acts. Free. Youth Program Coordinator, Beth Holmes, 733-2164 ext.

118, bholmes@tclib.org. http://tclib.org/index.php/ calendar/ n Walking Tours 10:30am, Center of the Town Square. Join historical society staff and volunteers for an hour-long walking tour of historic downtown Jackson. $5 for adults. 307733-2414 x 213. http://www.jacksonholehistory.org/ calendar/ n Yoga on the Lawn 4:30pm, Healthy Being Juicery.

Donation-based yoga on the lawn at Healthy Being Juicery, every M-W at 4:30pm. Variety of themes and styles compatible with all abilities. Enjoy a stretch in the sun!. Free. 307-200-9006. http://www.healthybeingjuice.com

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

TUESDAY 6I2

help, we can find and stop these invaders before a large amount of damage is done to the native plant communities.

Please call 733-8419 to sign up for one of our trainings 24 hour in advance. Limit 20/class!. Free. 307-733-8419. n Senior Volunteer Project at Wayne May Park 9:30am, Wayne May Park. Help plant wildflower seed in the community garden at Wayne May Park in East Jackson. Meet at the SE corner of Wayne May Park. Bring snacks, water and gloves. Dress for weather conditions.

TCJPRD Park Planner, Matt Kissell, will discuss upcoming projects and development at the park. 307-739-9025. n Seven Brides for Seven Brothers 6:30pm, Jackson Hole Playhouse. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers is an unlikely love story featuring big laughs and lots of heart in this rowdy western musical comedy, a great choice for the whole family! One of the best shows to see in a broadway style musical! Make your reservations today. $19.00 - $60.00. http://jacksonholeplayhouse.com/ n Toddler Time - Youth Auditorium 10:05am, Teton

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n Big Skillet 9:00pm, Million Dollar Cowboy Bar. $5.00 cover. 307733-2207. http://www.milliondollarcowboybar.com/ calendar.htm n Brothers Gow 10:00pm,Town Square Tavern. NEW MUSIC MONDAY!!

A visual & soulful blend of Rock, Funk and Jazz-influenced improvisation, and some good clean fun from San Diego, CA. FREE. http://JamBase.com n Hootenanny 6:00pm, Dornans. Acoustic musicians sign-up starting at 5:30 p.m. to play a two-song set. Folk. Free. (307) 733-2415. http://dornans.com/news/calendar/ n Library Book Club: “Home” by Toni Morrison Ordway Auditorium B 5:30pm, 125 Virginian Lane. Cozy up with a good book and join the library book club for inspiring conversations with other book lovers. Free. Education and Program Manager, Oona Doherty, 733-2164 ext. 135, odoherty@ tclib.org. http://tclib.org/index.php/calendar/ n Seven Brides for Seven Brothers 6:30pm, Jackson Hole Playhouse. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers is an unlikely love story featuring big laughs and lots of heart in this rowdy western musical comedy, a great choice for the whole family! One of the best shows to see in a broadway style musical! Make your reservations today. $19.00 - $60.00. http://jacksonholeplayhouse.com/ n Story Time - Driggs 1:00pm, Valley of the Tetons Library. http://tetons.lili. org/node/149 n Yoga on the Lawn 4:30pm, Healthy Being Juicery. Donation-based yoga on the lawn at Healthy Being Juicery. Variety of themes and styles compatible with all abilities. Enjoy a stretch in the sun!. Free. 307-200-9006. http://www.healthybeingjuice.com

clinic series is a progressive program teaching all aspects of the game along with basic rules and etiquette. Fee: $15 cash. Please contact the Sporting Club Sports Shop on or before the Monday prior to the clinic. 307-200-3093. http://srsportingclub.com n Ladies Night Oil Painting 7:00pm, The Local Galleria. Individualized instruction for the beginner to the advanced. All supplies included. $25 per class, $80 for a 4 lesson punch card. Supplies included. Contact Teri McLaren at (208) 270-0883, teri@ tetonvalleylocalart.com. http://tetonvalleychamber.com/ community-calendar/ n Map Invasive Species Training 12:00pm, Teton County Library. While prevention is the first line of defense, it is nearly impossible to stop all invasive species. Therefore, Early Detection/Rapid Response (EDRR) is the second line of defense in managing these plants. By employing EDRR tactics we will be more efficiently protecting our resources by decreasing habitat destruction. Over time this method can greatly conserve cost because it targets small infestations before they become too expensive and extensive to treat. With your

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| JACKSON HOLE’S ALTERNAT |

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

18 | MAY 27 , 2015

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Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom and pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves!

Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally FRESH FOOD at reasonable prices, is a always a FUN PLACE to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel RIGHT AT HOME and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit.

Reservations at (307) 733-4913 3295 Village Drive • Teton Village, WY

www.mangymoose.com

ASIAN & CHINESE

Breakfast Lunch Dinner

TETON THAI

•••••••

Open daily 8am 145 N. Glenwood • (307) 734-0882 WWW.TETONLOTUSCAFE.COM

Serving the world’s most exciting cuisine. Teton Thai offers a splendid array of flavors: sweet, hot, sour, salt and bitter. All balanced and blended perfectly, satisfying the most discriminating palate. Open daily.

7432 Granite Loop Road in Teton Village, (307) 733-0022 and in Driggs, (208) 787-8424, tetonthai.com.

CONTINENTAL THE BLUE LION ®

Pizzas & Pasta HAPPY HOUR Monday-Friday 5-6:00pm Dinner Mon-Sat 5:00pm

690 S. Hwy 89 • 734-1970

Large Specialty Pizza ADD: Wings (8 pc)

Medium Pizza (1 topping) Stuffed Cheesy Bread

$ 13 99

for an extra $5.99/each

(307) 733-0330 520 S. Hwy. 89 • Jackson, WY

FAVORITE PIZZA 2012, 2013 & 2014 •••••••••

$4 Well Drink Specials

LUNCH

SPECIAL Slice, salad & soda

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CAFE GENEVIEVE

Serving inspired home cooked classics in a historic log cabin. Enjoy brunch daily at 8 a.m., dinner nightly at 5 p.m., and happy hour daily 3-5:30 p.m. featuring $5 glasses of wine, $5 specialty drinks, $3 bottled beer.

135 E. Broadway, (307) 732-1910, genevievejh.com.

ELEANOR’S

THE LOCALS

$7

A Jackson Hole favorite for 37 years. Join us in the charming atmosphere of a historic home. Ask a local about our rack of lamb. Serving fresh fish, elk, poultry, steaks, and vegetarian entrées. Live acoustic guitar music most nights. Open nightly at 5:30 p.m. Early Bird Special: 20% off Entire Bill between 5:30-6:00pm. Must mention ad.

Reservations recommended, walk-ins welcome.

160 N. Millward, (307) 733-3912, bluelionrestaurant.com

Steamed Subs Hot Dogs Soups & Salads

TV Sports Packages and 7 Screens

The Deli That’ll Rock Your Belly

Under the Pink Garter Theatre (307) 734-PINK • www.pinkygs.com

307-733-3448 | Open Daily 11am-7pm 180 N. Center St. | 1 block n. of Town Square Next to Home Ranch Parking Lot

Looking for a new hobby?

Great place to take a date?

Dance floor to shake your booty?

A place to play pool?

JACKSON HOLE’S ALTERNATIVE VOICE

Find that special event in our calendar beginning on page 12 or find something just for you online at PlanetJH.com

WWW.PLANETJH.COM

Enjoy all the perks of fine dining, minus the dress code at Eleanor’s, serving rich, saucy dishes in a warm and friendly setting. Eleanor’s is a primo brunch spot on Sunday afternoons. Its bar alone is an attraction, thanks to reasonably priced drinks and a loyal crowd. Come get a belly-full of our two-time gold medal wings. Open at 11 a.m. daily.

832 W. Broadway, (307) 733-7901.

FULL STEAM SUBS

The deli that’ll rock your belly. Jackson’s newest sub shop serves steamed subs, reubens, gyros, delicious all beef hot dogs, soups and salads.

We offer Chicago style hot dogs done just the way they do in the windy city. Open daily11 a.m. to 7 p.m.

Located just a short block north of the Town Square at 180 N. Center Street, (307) 733-3448.

KIM’S CORNER

Best ski food in the area! Korean and American style, from breakfast sandwiches, burgers, chicken tenders, Philly cheese steaks to rice bowls and noodles. Something for everyone!

Open Tuesday through Thursday, 9:30 a.m. to 7 p.m.; Friday through Sunday, 9:30 a.m. to 4 p.m.

At base of Summit Lift between the ski patrol room and the ice rink.

100 E. Snow King Ave. Order ahead (307) 200-6544, facebook. com/Kimscornercafe.

LIBERTY BURGER

Liberty burger features 11 different burger, including the standard liberty burger of just mustard, mayo, lettuce, tomato, pickle onion.

There are six different meat selections along with our custom beef blend. Sides include skinny fries, sweet fries and onion rings. Two salads are on the menu along with two sandwiches. Milkshakes, root beer floats, adult milkshakes, beer, wine and spirits are available. Open at 11 a.m. daily.

160 N. Cache, (307) 200-6071.

LOCAL

Local, a modern American steakhouse and bar, is located on Jackson’s historic town square.

Our menu features both classic and specialty cuts of locally-ranched meats and wild game alongside fresh seafood, shellfish, house-ground burgers, and seasonally-inspired food. We offer an extensive wine list and an abundance of locallysourced products. Offering a casual and vibrant bar atmosphere with 12 beers on tap as well as

home of melvin brewing 20 craft beers on tap | food til midnight!

a relaxed dining room, Local is the perfect spot to grab a burger for lunch or to have drinks and dinner with friends. Lunch Daily 11:30am. Dinner Nightly 5:30pm 55 North Cache, (307) 201-1717, localjh.com.

Dinner 5:30 to 9 p.m. including potato-crusted trout, 16 ounce ribeye, vegan and wild game.

Reservations welcome.

(307) 733-3553. sweetwaterjackson.com.

LOTUS CAFE

Owned and operated by Chefs with a passion for good food, Trio is located right off the Town square in downtown Jackson. Featuring a variety of cuisines in a relaxed atmosphere, Trio is famous for its wood-oven pizzas, specialty cocktails and waffle fries with bleu cheese fondue. Dinner nightly at 5:30 p.m. Reservations.

(307) 734-8038 or bistrotrio.com.

­­­ Serving organic, freshly-made world cuisine while catering to all eating styles. Endless organic and natural meat, vegetarian, vegan and glutenfree choices. Offering super smoothies, fresh extracted juices, espresso and tea. Full bar and house-infused botanical spirits. Open daily 8am for breakfast lunch and dinner.

145 N. Glenwood St., (307) 734-0882, tetonlotuscafe.com.

MANGY MOOSE

TRIO

INDIAN THE INDIAN

SNAKE RIVER BREWERY & RESTAURANT

ITALIAN

SWEETWATER

A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965, the Calico continues to be one of the most popular restaurants in the Valley. The Calico offers the right combination of really good food, (much of which is grown in our own gardens in the summer), friendly staff; a reasonably priced menu and a large selection of wine. Our bar scene is eclectic with a welcoming vibe. Open nightly at 5 p.m.

2560 Moose Wilson Rd., (307) 733-2460.

MEXICAN EL ABUELITO

Serving authentic Mexican cuisine and appetizers

Good between 5:30-6pm • Open nightly at 5:30pm

Voted “BEST MEXICAN RESTAURANT” & “BEST SALSA” Best of Jackson Hole 2014

ENTIRE BILL 733-3912 160 N. Millward

Make your reservation online at bluelionrestaurant.com

e Home of th G” MAR “BIGozPIG su ea of pl re 32

Just north of the Town Square on Cache (307) 733-2966

Trio is located just off the town square in downtown Jackson, and is owned & operated by local chefs with a passion for good food.

Our menu features contemporary American dishes inspired by classic bistro cuisine. Daily specials feature wild game, fish and meats.

Enjoy a glass of wine at the bar in front of the wood-burning oven and watch the chefs perform in the open kitchen.

7342 GRANITE LOOP ROAD TETON VILLAGE TETONTHAIVILLAGE.COM 3 0 7. 7 3 3 . 0 0 2 2

Dinner Nightly at 5:30pm Happy Hour 5:30-6:30pm at the bar 45 S. Glenwood

FAMILY FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT

Available for private events & catering

PIZZAS, PASTAS & MORE

For reservations please call 734-8038

HOUSEMADE BREAD & DESSERTS

Satisfying locals for lunch and dinner for over 36 years with deliciously affordable comfort food.

Extensive local and regional beer list. Lunch 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. features blackened trout salad, elk melt, wild west chili and vegetarian specialties.

CALICO

Margaritas that will make you happy, and service that will make you smile!

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

America’s most award-winning microbrewery is serving lunch and dinner. Take in the atmosphere while enjoying wood-fired pizzas, pastas, burgers, sandwiches, soups, salads and desserts. $8 lunch menu from 11:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. Happy hours 4 to 6 p.m., including tasty hot wings. The freshest beer in the valley, right from the source! Free WiFi. Open 11:30 a.m. to midnight.

265 S. Millward. (307) 739-2337, snakeriverbrewing.com.

The Indian is themed after a British officer’s club, The Indian serves Colonial Indian cuisine and classic cocktails. Enjoy a variety of dishes including butter chicken, lamb vindaloo and many other vegan and gluten free options. Open for dinner nightly at 5:30. Reservations.

165 N. Center St., (307) 733-4111.

20%OFF

Hot chips made fresh all day long

| PLANETJH.CDOM|

Mangy Moose Restaurant, with locally sourced, seasonally fresh food at reasonable prices, is a always a fun place to go with family or friends for a unique dining experience. The personable staff will make you feel right at home and the funky western decor will keep you entertained throughout your entire visit.

Teton Village, (307) 733-4913, mangymoose.com.

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

Ten homemade salsas and sauces

Authentic Mexican dishes made from scratch

FRESH, LOCALLY SOURCED OFFERINGS

untold stories edgy topics news

Dining room and bar open nightly at 5:00pm (307) 733-2460 • 2560 Moose Wilson Road • Wilson, WY

A Jackson Hole favorite since 1965 Local is a modern American steakhouse and bar located on Jackson’s historic town square.

Serving locally raised beef and, regional game, fresh seafood and seasonally inspired food, Local offers the perfect setting for lunch, drinks or dinner.

Lunch 11:30am Daily Dinner 5:30pm Nightly

EMAIL YOUR RESUME OR WRITING CLIPS TO EDITOR@PLANETJH.COM

307.201.1717 LOCALJH.COM ON THE TOWN SQUARE

385 W. Broadway, Jackson Authentic Mexican Cuisine (307) 733-1207 OPEN 7 DAYS 11am-10pm

HOME OF THE ORIGINAL JUMBO MARGARITA

MAY 27, 2015 | 19

HAPPY HOUR Daily 4-6:00pm

LARGE SELECTION OF MEXICAN BEERS LUNCHEON COMBINATION Mon-Fri 11am-3pm NIGHTLY DINNER SPECIALS

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

WRITERS WANTED

TAKE OUT AVAILABLE

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| JACKSON HOLE’S ALTERNAT |

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

20 | MAY 27 , 2015

in a unique Mexican atmosphere. Home of the original Jumbo Margarita. Featuring a full bar with a large selection of authentic Mexican beers. Lunch served weekdays 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Nightly dinner specials. Open seven days, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.

385 W. Broadway, (307) 733-1207.

MERRY PIGLETS

Voted Best Salsa! Jackson’s oldest authentic Mexican restaurant and a local favorite. Choose from over 10 unique and different salsas and sauces, Tex-Mex plates, including mesquite-grilled fajitas, wraps and fire-roasted chicken. Huge margs in 10 flavors plus “Big Pig Marg,” a 32 ounce original.

160 N. Cache, (307) 733-2966.

PIZZA ARTISAN PIZZA

Blue Collar Restaurant Groups Italain style restaurant and pizza serves fresh salads, apps, Neapolitan inspired pizza and housemade classic pasta dish’s. All entrees come with soup or salad and house made garlic bread. Veggie and gluten free options available. Happy Hour in the bar Monday to Friday from 5 - 6 p.m. features $6 pizzas, 2 for 1 wine by the glass and well drinks, and $1 off all beer. Open Monday through Saturday at 5 p.m.

Located in the 690 building on highway 89 next to Motel 6, (307)

724-1970.

DOMINO’S PIZZA Hot and delicious delivered to your door. Handtossed, deep dish, crunchy thin, Brooklyn style and artisan pizzas; bread bowl pastas, and oven baked sandwiches; chicken wings, cheesy breads and desserts. Delivery.

520 S. Hwy. 89 in Kmart Plaza, (307) 733-0330.

PINKY G’S The locals favorite! Voted Best Pizza in Jackson Hole 2012, 2013 and 2014. Seek out this hidden gem under the Pink Garter Theatre for NY pizza by the slice, salads, stromboli’s, calzones and many appetizers to choose from. Try the $7 ‘Triple S’ lunch special.Happy hours 10 p.m. - 12 a.m. Sun.- Thu. Text PINK to 71441 for discounts.

Delivery and take-out. Open daily 11a.m. to 2 a.m.

50 W. Broadway, (307) 734-PINK.

PIZZERIA CALDERA Jackson Hole’s only dedicated stone-hearth oven pizzeria, serving Napolitana-style pies using the freshest ingredients in traditional and creative combinations. Try our Bisonte pie with bison sausage and fresh sage. Lunch specials daily featuring slices, soup and salad­­s. Happy hour specials from 3 to 6 p.m. Take-out available. 20 W. Broadway. Open daily 11 a.m. to 9:30 p.m.

(307) 201-1472, pizzeriacaldera.com.

Rob Brezsny’s FREE WILL COSMIC ASTROLOGY Café Week of May 28, 2015 freewillastrology.com ©Copyright 2015 Rob Brezsny

with Carol Mann

Q: Ready to let go of trying to fix other people?

A number of summers ago there was a theater production in town, with a great title, “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change.” It is so true that we tend to do this to people with whom we are close. The intention may be coming from a good place. The other person’s behavior may truly be less than noble or even destructive. However, the energy of fixing, of wanting someone to change, and expending lots of energy trying to get them to be different from how and who they are, never works for either person.

Letting go of trying to fix people is a wonderful way to increase personal happiness, to have more energy, and to enjoy better relationships.

Here are a few suggestions for how to refocus your energy

MAY 27, 2015 | 21

Carol Mann is a longtime Jackson resident, radio personality, former Grand Targhee Resort owner, author, and clairvoyant. Got a Cosmic Question? Email carol@yourcosmiccafe.com

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

yourself from something you need to pay attention to about in your own life and psyche. If you are willing, try on this different perspective: consider that the other person’s unsavory behavior is in your face so you can learn something important about yourself and grow.

If you’d like to experiment with evolving yourself rather than fixing people close to you, reflect on the following questions: If you were not spending so much time and energy trying to get the other person to change (including complaining about them), what would you have to notice, feel and/or be doing proactively in your life? What options are in your control? What choices support your well-being? What do you need to help you go for them?

Keep in mind that people only change when they want to and when they are ready to commit to the work it takes. That part is only in your control if the person who you want to change is you.

A:

The subtle or not subtle message in the energy of fixing is that there is something wrong with the other person, that they are not enough as they are, and that you know, and they don’t. The other person always reacts instinctively to those negative judgments. What do we all do when negative energy is coming at us? It’s called the “fight-or-flight response.”

We automatically defend and attack, or we run away. Neither of these responses allows the other person to even consider whether what you’d like them to improve is worth entertaining.

The only good time to offer your sage advice is if and when that person asks for your input. Speak from your heart when offering counsel, because heart energy is not judgmental and it creates an environment in which the other person can be open to listen.

For the person who is the fixer, focusing on what is wrong with someone else is often a way to distract

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

accomplish one of your long-range goals.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Long-distance flirtations may soon be just around the corner or across the street. Remote possibilities are taking short cuts as they head your way. I swear the far horizon and the lucky stars seem closer than usual. Is it all a mirage? Some of it may be, but at least a part of it is very real. If you want to be ready to seize the surprising opportunities that show up in your vicinity, I suggest you make yourself as innocent and expansive as possible. Drop any jaded attitudes you may be harboring. Let the future know that you are prepared to receive a flood of beauty, truth, and help.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I suspect that marriages of convenience will begin to wither away unless they evolve into bonds of affection. Connections that have been fed primarily on fun and games must acquire more ballast. In fact, I recommend that you re-evaluate all your contracts and agreements. How are they working for you? Do they still serve the purpose you want them to? Is it time to acknowledge that they have transformed and need to be reconfigured? As you take inventory, be both tough-minded and compassionate.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Petrarch was an influential 14th-century Italian poet whose main work was Song Book. It’s a collection of 366 poems, most of which are dedicated to Laura, the woman he loved. For 40 years he churned out testaments of longing and appreciation for her, despite the fact that he and she never spent time together.

She was married to another man, and was wrapped up in raising her eleven children. Should we judge Petrarch harshly for choosing a muse who was so unavailable? I don’t.

Muse-choosing is a mysterious and sacred process that transcends logic. I’m bringing the subject to your attention because you’re entering a new phase in your relationship with muses. It’s either time to choose a new one (or two?) or else adjust your bonds with your current muses.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “The soul moves in circles,” said the ancient Greek philosopher Plotinus.

Modern psychologist James Hillmans agreed, and added this thought: “Hence our lives are not moving straight ahead; instead, hovering, wavering, returning, renewing, repeating.” I bring this to your attention, Capricorn, because you’re now in an extra-intense phase of winding and rambling. This is a good thing! You are spiraling back to get another look at interesting teachings you didn’t master the first time around. You are building on past efforts that weren’t strong enough. Your words of power are crooked, gyrate, curvy, labyrinthine, and corkscrew.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It’s no coincidence that your libido and your mojo are booming at the same time. Your libido is in the midst of a deep, hearty awakening, which is generating a surplus of potent, super-fine mojo. And your surplus of potent, super-fine mojo is in turn inciting your libido’s even deeper, heartier awakening. There may be times in the coming week when you feel like you are living with a wild animal. As long as you keep the creature well-fed and well-stroked, it should provide you with lots of vigorous, even boisterous fun.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early,” quipped 19th-century English author Charles Lamb. I invite you to adopt that breezy, lazy attitude in the coming weeks. It’s high time for you to slip into a very comfortable, laidback mood . . . to give yourself a lot of slack, explore the mysteries of dreamy indolence, and quiet down the chirpy voices in your head. Even if you can’t literally call in sick to your job and spend a few days wandering free, do everything you can to claim as much lowpressure, unhurried spaciousness as possible.

| PLANETJH.CDOM|

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Keith Moon played drums for the rock band the Who. He was once voted the second-greatest drummer in history. But his erratic behavior, often provoked by drugs or alcohol, sometimes interfered with his abilities.

In 1973, the Who was doing a live concert near San Francisco when the horse tranquilizer that Moon had taken earlier caused him to pass out. The band appealed to the audience for help. “Can anybody play the drums?” asked guitarist Pete Townshend. “I mean somebody good?” A 19-year-old amateur drummer named Scot Halpin volunteered. He played well enough to finish the show. I suspect that sometime soon, Aries, you may also get an unexpected opportunity to play the role of a substitute. Be ready!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The weta is a very large insect whose habitat is New Zealand. It looks like a robotic grasshopper, with giant black eyes on a long red face, enlarged hind legs bearing spikes, and floppy, oversized antennae. The native Maori people call it “the god of the ugly things.” Please note that this is a term of respect. The weta’s title is not “the most monstrous of the ugly things,” or “the worst” or “the scariest” or “the most worthless of the ugly things.” Rather, the Maori say it’s the god -- the highest, the best, the most glorious. I suspect that in the coming days, Taurus, you will have a close encounter with your own version of a “god of ugly things.” Doesn’t it deserve your love and welcome?

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You have successfully made the transition from brooding caterpillar to social butterfly. Soon you will be in your full, fluttery glory, never lingering too long with one thought, one friend, or one identity. Some heavyduty, level-headed stalwarts might wish you would be more earthy and anchored, but I don’t share their concern. At least for now, having a long attention span is overrated. You have entered the fidgety, inquisitive part of your cycle, when flitting and flirting and flickering make perfect sense.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Only one fear is worthy of you. Only one fear is real enough and important enough to awaken and activate the numb part of your intelligence. So for now, I suggest that you retire all lesser fears. Stuff them in a garbage bag and hide them in a closet. Then put on your brave champion face, gather the allies and resources you need, and go forth into glorious battle. Wrestle with your one fear.

Reason with it. If necessary, use guile and trickery to gain an advantage. Call on divine inspiration and be a wickedly good truth-teller. And this is crucial: Use your fear to awaken and activate the numb part of your intelligence.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In the coming nights, try to see your shadow as it’s cast on the ground by the moon. Not by the sun, mind you. Look for the shadow that’s made by the light of the moon. It might sound farfetched, but I suspect this experience will have a potent impact on your subconscious mind. It may jostle loose secrets that you have been hiding from yourself. I bet it will give you access to emotions and intuitions you have been repressing. It could also help you realize that some of the deep, dark stuff you wrestle with is not bad and scary, but rather fertile and fascinating.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The ancient Greek statesman Demosthenes was regarded as a supremely skilled orator. His speeches were so powerful that he was compared to a “blazing thunderbolt.” And yet as a youngster he spoke awkwardly.

His voice was weak and his enunciation weird. To transform himself, he took drastic measures. He put pebbles in his mouth to force himself to formulate his words with great care. He recited poems as he ran up and down hills. At the beach, he learned to outshout the pounding surf. Take inspiration from him, Virgo. Now would be an excellent time for you to plan and launch strenuous efforts that will enable you to eventually

| PLANETJH.CDOM|

| JACKSON HOLE’S ALTERNAT |

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

22 | MAY 27 , 2015

GET OUT

Great views of Phelps Lake are easily accessible from a mile walk through Laurance S. Rockefeller Preserve. PHOTO: ELIZABETH KOUTRELAKOS

LSR offers indoor and outdoor adventures

By ELIZABETH KOUTRELAKOS @theplanetjh

T

he rain has made itself at home here in the valley. Walking through town, I spot many locals huddled in their coats running from coffee shops to work in hopes of respite from the ridiculously long — sometimes torrential — downpours. While I’m no weather forecaster, it seems like the clouds are here to stay, at least for the long-term forecast. This may seem heart wrenching, even downright hopeless, for those mountain exercise junkies who are now growing excruciatingly pale, but there is still life to be had.

Meandering walks and wet weather activities are still available. While it may take some motivation to leave the house, it is still possible to have a glorious time. One unique yet accessible rainy day excursion can be found just a few miles south of Moose, at the Laurance S. Rockefeller Preserve, also known as the LSR. This beautiful place’s appeal is different than many places I have ever been. Nestled on the Moose-Wilson Road, this land, previously known at the JY Ranch, is comprised of about 1,000 acres. Donated in 2001, the space served as a getaway for his family. When there’s a downpour, exploring the LSR visitor center is well worth it.

The interactive structure offers many educational opportunities for the eyes, ears and mind.

One major highlight of this structure is the sound room — a small room located in the corner of the building with an amazing sound system recording of the outdoors. I realize it may sound odd to listen to the sounds of nature inside of an actual building, but unless you have experienced it yourself, don’t judge. Rain, thunderstorms, birds and other creatures of the forest chirp away while you sit comfortably soaking it in. Where else can you listen to a thunderstorm knowing you won’t get struck by lightning or end up completely

soaked and in a dire situation? For those wanting to spend more time soaking in the beauty of the forest during the rainstorm without a tent, make your way to a library. In the library, many historical books are available for reading in the well-lit lounge with comfortable chairs. These books tell the tales of the people before us, when a good day was simply drying one’s feet out by the fire and making bread (a happy trade for current Netflix marathons if you ask me). The staff also has a wealth of knowledge and can assist you with any questions you may have about the place.

If the rain changes from a downpour to a drizzle, make your way out to the uniquely concocted trail system at the preserve. From here, you can travel anywhere from a few hundred yards to the full jaunt around Phelps Lake. One path that is truly underrated is the Aspen Ridge Trail. This 2.5 mile trail travels by a creek, through aspens and along a ridge offering unique views of Open Canyon. This trail is so pleasant some consider it to be a time warp. The continual ups and downs of mini-hills may seem unpleasantly steep until you arrive at the top. I think more large mammals travel here than humans, but who am I to judge?

Another wonderful jaunt in this area is the Boulder Ridge Trail. This too is seemingly endless for it’s short 1.3 miles and offers a little-known piece of history. Has anyone ever found a tombstone in the Tetons? From Phelps Lake, take the trail about a tenth of a mile, and keep an eye peeled to your left for a visible grave amongst small pine trees. This grave was the site of the original homesteader, David Spalding, who later gave his rights to the land to Louis Joy and Struthers Burt.

Legend has it that Spalding requested to be buried on this land as part of the trade of the JY Ranch, but I wonder if he knew that his gravesite would be one of the rare tombstones located in Grand Teton National Park.

After visiting this place multiple times, I feel so grateful to enjoy this land that was donated to

A moose chomps happily amongst spring greenery of the trail. PHOTO: BEN BLANTON

the Park Service. The selfish part in me wishes it would have been given to me, but doesn’t everyone?

But public land is for all of us. I am always happy to enjoy the rain or stay dry at the Laurence S. Rockefeller Preserve. Be it a long hike or a short jaunt, this place has it all. Beware that the parking lot only holds 50 spaces to keep the solitary and natural feel of the place, so early arrival may be essential on busy days.

The elusive grave of David Spalding.

PHOTO: ELIZABETH KOUTRELAKOS

REDNECK PERSPECTIVE

Holding accused in Inflategate

S

Thank you, St. Jude for Prayers Answered.

DOWN 10 Cheerleader’s accessory 20Frozen food brand 30Loewe’s lyricist 40See 79-Down 50“The Sound of Music” song 60Hammer used to test reflexes 70Summer top 80Santa __ 90Legal protection 10 __ out a living 11 Menu listings 12 Judgments 13 Italian source of the melody for “It’s Now or Never” 14 Toy with a tail 15 Like pie?

17 35mm camera type 18 Map site

19 Turntable stat 23 Trojans’ region, familiarly 29 Confused 30 “Strange Magic” gp.

32 Ascend 34 Agitate 38 Irangate figure 39 Here, to Henri 41 Bold 43 Four-wheeler, for short 44 Leaves in a bag 47 __ D.A. 48 Went faster 49 Like some tests 50 “I Got __”: Jim Croce hit 51 Font flourish 52 Diamond need 53 Pale ___ 54 Certain sharer 55 __ Dhabi 58 Acrimony 59 So to speak 62 Slog 63 New Deal org.

64 2008 bailout beneficiary 65 Cleaning aid 67 Massachusetts quartet 68 Fire sign 69 Sharp tastes 73 Taunt 76 Charlton Heston once led it: Abbr.

77 Phoenix suburb 78 He bested Adlai 79 With 4-Down, “The Thin Man” co-star 81 Breaks on the road 84 E-__ 85 Earlier 86 Spooner, for one 87 Mgmt.

88 Opposite of paleo89 Winner’s prize 91 Has title to 94 Cheese shape 96 Mac alternatives 97 Scholarship founder 99 Fictional symbol of brutality 100 Elis 101 Show of scorn 102 Ryan and Bushnell 103 God wed to his sister 104 Place setting item 106 Strains 108 Nibbles 111 Bryn __ College 112 Netman Nastase 113 Moreno with Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony awards 114 Meditation syllables 116 Flavor enhancer 121 TV dial letters 122 Princess’ bane

MAY 27, 2015 | 23

May the Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, glorified, loved and preserved throughout the world now and forever. Sacred Heart of Jesus, pray for us. St. Jude, worker of miracles, pray for us.

St. Jude, helper of the helpless, pray for us. Say this prayer nine times a day for nine days.

On the ninth day your prayer will be answered. It has bever been known to fail. Publication must be promised.

83 Hosp. test 84 Early advocate of birth control 90 Pasadena parade posies 92 “Permit Me Voyage” poet 93 Hercules bicycle model 94 Billings-to-Helena dir.

95 Brown in Calif., e.g.

96 Get ready 98 1995-2001 “SNL” regular 105 Engrave 107 Asian sash 109 Colonial diplomat Silas 110 McGwire rival 111 “Mighty Aphrodite” Oscar winner 115 Discontinued P&G toothpaste 117 Back talk 118 “Crossword Clues ‘M,’ __” 119 Plan for losing 120 Jean Brodie creator 123 Port, for one 124 To be, in Paris 125 Utter 126 Bottled spirits 127 123-Across category 128 Back talk 129 Moroccan city of one million 130 NCAA part: Abbr.

| PLANET JACKSON HOLE |

St. Jude’s Novena

ACROSS 10 Straw __ 50Immunization letters 80Duped in a good way?

12 __ Zero 16 They have Red Velvet and Watermelon varieties 18 Many a surfer 20 Norse trickster 21 Chennai’s continent 22 “Silkwood” star 24 Zira and Cornelius, in a 1968 film 25 Auction units 26 ATM necessity 27 Women’s World Golf Rankings sponsor 28 “Frankenstein” author 31 Polish-German border river 33 Hunters’ outfits, briefly 35 Seaman 36 Different 37 Counselor Troi portrayer on “Star Trek: T.N.G.” 40 Conditional words 42 Pin surface 45 Costa del __ 46 Film franchise with a mammoth named Manny 48 Place 49 Nonlethal weapon 52 Tennis star with five Grand Slam titles 56 Chemical ending 57 Oregon __ 60 Flashing light 61 Host of a spin-off of “The Apprentice” 66 Flashiest 70 Arab VIP 71 Point to pick 72 __ mater 73 “To Kill a Mockingbird” sibling 74 West Point inits.

75 Bygone 77 Toon with a pacifier 80 Nod 82 “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” author

Clyde Thornhill is a longtime Jackson resident, lifetime redneck and storyteller.

Got a topic you would like our resident redneck to address, email editor@planetjh.com

SUNDAY, MAY 31, 2015

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

pressured air for tap beer dispensing to be used to pressurize the falsies.

“It is not possible to get 15 PSI with a hand pump,” breast expert Jessica Simpson said while a guest on the Oprah show.

Some question the seriousness of the offense and whether overinflation is widespread. Dolly Parton issued a statement claiming that in the old days performers often engaged in inflation as a way to increase viewer interest.

“Just because it’s a big deal doesn’t make it a big deal,” she said.

The inflation issue came to light when members of Bare Necessities, an Eastern Idaho company that offers strippers to the Jackson area, complained to the NFL that Bras For a Cause was obtaining an unfair competitive advantage.

“It’s time to level the playing field, so to speak,” complained Thalia, a stripper for Bare Necessities. “If they want to change their look they can do it like we do, naturally, with implants and plastic surgery.”

Meantime, organizers of Bras For a Cause are defending themselves and proclaiming their innocence. “ The difference in air pressure on the falsies could be explained by atmospheric conditions,” Holding claimed. “ This whole accusation is based on jealously due to our organization’s success over the years.”

It is clear that an independent investigator is needed to examine all falsities, bras and breasts involved.

My strong commitment to civic duty compels me to volunteer.

MS. By JASON MUELLER

| PLANETJH.CDOM|

oroptimist of Jackson Hole is appealing a decision from the NFL (National Falsie League) to punish the local charity for overinflation of falsies. According to Commissioner Rogene Goodell, falsies were inflated beyond the allowed 12.5 to 13.5 pounds per square inch (PSI) during the recent Bras For a Cause event at the Cowboy Bar. According to a report issued after a three-week-long investigation, event chair AJ Holding was “more probable than not at least generally aware” of plans to inflate falsies in an attempt to increase bidding.

Holding has refused to turn over cell phone records despite her promises of cooperation. However, text messages seized by the Jackson Police Department from Kim McNally, the locker room assistant, and Johanna Jastremski, equipment staffer, referred to as “the inflator,” showed that they were in contact with Holding at various times during the event.

One text said: “Pump ‘em up, girls!”

Holding insists she was texting about a flat tire she had on her car.

There seems no question that overinflation occurred as tests showed 11 out of 12 falsies were inflated to nearly 15 PSI. The question is: Who was responsible and who knew what, when?

It seems unlikely that the Cowboy Bar was involved. They had nothing to gain with increased breast size as the event was already sold out. While the Cowboy denies any involvement or any knowledge of over-inflation, many suspect the bar of allowing the

L.A. TIMES Crossword