Keys to Building Healthy Relationships

Conversations, Commonalities, and Invitations

Fostering lasting connections and strong relationships is a cornerstone of building positive health and wellness. When we feel connected to others, we build strong bonds that make our community a more desirable and enjoyable place to live, work and play. Knowing and interacting with those in our community makes everyone feel valued and heard. However, it can sometimes be difficult to build and maintain relationships as they take time and effort. Thankfully, when we master the art of building relationships, we can make those connections work for us, and thus, personal health and wellness increases, and the community grows together as a connected and healthy whole. Relationships begin when two people make a connection. Connection can begin with a simple smile and a good conversation starter.

Conversation starters are those that begin with “what” rather than “how”. Instead of asking “how was your weekend?”, try asking, “what was the best thing about your weekend?” Using a question that begins with the word ‘what’ requires a thoughtful and open-ended answer that can catalyze deeper conversation. The biggest hurdle to opening the door to conversation is finding the courage to talk to a new person. But, finding that courage is well rewarded as friendships grow. To create deeper connections with those you already know, ask questions that are open-ended and dig deeper. My friend and I often open our conversations by asking, “what is on your shelf today?” and we take turns sharing and talking through deeper topics that resonate with us from experiences we have had or from things we have read. Since we know each other well, this helps us skip small talk and helps us process our thoughts and feelings, while growing in our vulnerability together. Asking good questions is one of the best ways to build and maintain relationships.

Once a connection is made, new or old, finding commonalities is an effective way to get to know each other better. When we find common likes or dislikes, it automatically fosters a feeling of solidarity. Be it loving the Padres or hating pickles, when we can say, “me too”, we feel connected and it opens the door to invitation. Now that you know that your new acquaintance like the Padres and hates pickles, it is the perfect opportunity to ask them to go to a game, or to grab a pickle-less burger at a local restaurant and watch a game together on tv. By taking the next step and making the effort to get together to do something, the relationship grows. From here, fostering the relationship means continually asking and reaching out.

Sometimes it takes several opportunities for something to catch hold and often people will shield themselves, so it takes more time to get to know them. The important thing to remember is to keep trying. Once a connection is made, new or old, finding commonalities is an effective way to get to Finding the courage to start conversations, seeing commonalities and continually reaching out and extending the invitation to others, we build positive relationships. When we know others and feel welcome, we are more likely to participate in community events. Thus, our personal health and wellness increases, and as a result our community becomes a better place.

Article By: Annie Gardner Safe Harbor Coronado’s Parent & Community Program Facilitator

Questions to Build Positive Connections

What is something that made you smile today?

Who made a positive difference in your life? Why?

What is something that cheers you up on a rough day?

What is something you are good at?

What is the best thing that happened to you?