Cowgirls In Style Magazine Fall 2021

Magazine

CIS Cowg irls In Style

fashion l rodeo l beauty l horses l fitness Fall 2021

Fall Fashions

With Brit West

introducing new horses to the herd

Michele Pillar Author, speaker, 3-time GRAMMY nominee, and horsewoman

Helpful Tips

Horse Tack Extravaganza

By Longhope Farm and Fiber

CIS Insider • Lauren Alaina Stars In Roadhouse Romance • Cowboy Poet Marleen Bussma Marleen Bussma

Lauren Alaina

Ranchand

dFamous.com

74

18

In Every Issue Fall 2021

10 Letter From the Editor 12 Editor Picks 14 E-Cowgirl 15 Entertainment

24 Beauty Barn Fall Lip Color 26 Fashion Forecast Fall Fashions

28 Cowgirl Fit 10,000 Steps Challenge 30 Stable Life Introducing a New Horse To The Herd

Hallmark’s Roadhouse Romance

Brit West Fashions

Featured Inside...

18 Entertainment

On the Cover: Michele Pillar Photo: Anthony Scarlati

Hallmark’s Roadhouse Romance

44

34 Cowgirl’s Voice Marleen Bussma

40 HORSE TACK

bEAUTIFUL lEATHER HORSETACK BY

Longhope Farm and Fiber on Etsy

44 Cover Feature mICHELE pILLAR

56 nATIVE JEWELRY

BEAUTIFUL JEWELRY BY BRIT WEST

8 | Cowgirls In Style |Fall 2021

66 AMERICAN WEST THE LATEST HANDBAGS FROM AMERICAN WEST

74 RODEO RUNWAY WITH BRIT WEST FALL FASHIONS

NEXT ISSUE...

• NFR PRINT ISSUE • NFR FUN • WINTER FASHIONS • CHRISTMAS GIFT GUIDE

AND MORE...

In Style

COWGIRLS Fall 2021

Founder Editor-In-Chief Susan Gentry

Contributors Devanie Gentry David Selman Photography Contributors Anthony Scarlati Advertising Landon Gentry Director of Finance Robert Gentry Send editorial submissions to: editor@cowgirlsinstyle.com For Advertising: advertising@cowgirlsinstyle.com Country Productions P.O. Box 841 Washington, UT 84780 Art/Production/Layout Country Productions Contact

Email: info@cowgirlsinstyle.com 435-632-6519

A Cowgirl’s Voice...

Editor-in-Chief, Susan Gentry

F

all is in the air! It seemed like the summer heat would never end... it was a hot one in our area! But now we can focus on our fall favorites, of cooler days, leaves turning, warm nights in our long sleeve p.j’s, hot chocolate on the back porch and this wonderful issue of Cowgirls In Style!

We are excited to introduce author, speaker and 3-time GRAMMY nominee, Michelle Pillar. What a story she has as well as her voice. We were so honored to publish a chapter from her book in this issue of CIS. A wonderful story of horse and rider learning from each other.

Also, we love cowboy poetry and what better person to share than poet, Marleen Bussman.

She writes of the plight of women of the west from frontier days to modern farm and ranch times. She writes about the rancher as he works and worries, hoping to make it through another year. You will love her stories and we have shared a few with you in this issue!

And what about fashion? This is our big fashion issue of the year and we are honored to be

10 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

showcasing the beautiful Brit West fashions. No one does leather and turquoise better.

Also, don’t forget that next issue will be our NFR Issue and will also be in print in racks at the NFR in Vegas and also at the Miss Rodeo America Pageant. We hope you are planning your Vegas trip now!

See you on the trail!

Susie

Susan Gentry Editor-In-Chief

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Editor Picks

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wanted to share with you some of our beautiful Cowgirl cuffs and bracelets that we showcase on our Cowigrls In Style website. These cuffs are gorgeous and the detail is impecable. Not only do we have cowgirl cuffs, but all types of equestrian bracelets and rings.

If you love jewelry and the western way of life or equestrian life, you will love these! Get one for yourself or for the horse lover in your family. One size fits all, just squeeze it to fit your wrist.

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Editor Picks

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e -Cowgirl

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14| Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

ENTERTAINMENT

Concerts To Consider During Your NFR Stay In Vegas Jason Aldean

Jason Aldean makes a three night stop at the Park Theater at Park MGM with his Back in the Saddle: Las Vegas 2021 engagement.

Thu, Dec 9, 9 PM – Fri, Dec 10, 1 AM PST Park MGM Las Vegas 3770 S Las Vegas Blvd, Las Vegas, NV

Shania Twain George Strait

“Let’s Go!” - The Las Vegas Residency Shania Twain, the top-selling female country artist of all-time, has announced 14 new dates for her residency show, Shania Twain “Let’s Go!” The Las Vegas Residency at Zappos Theater at Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino. The shows will be held December 2 – 21, 2021

George Strait will perform during NFR Week in Las Vegas Decemeber 3rd and 4th at the T-Mobile Arena starting at 8pm.

For more concerts and information, visit: www.NFREXPERIENCE.com www.cowgirlsinstyle.com | 15

ENTERTAINMENT

CMA Summer Jam Premiering September 2 at 8/7c on ABC!

W

atch Country’s Hottest Night, "CMA Summer Jam,” Sept. 2 at 8|7c on ABC! See your favorite artists perform and collaborate in this brand-new concert special featuring Jimmie Allen, Gabby Barrett, Dierks Bentley, BRELAND, Brothers Osborne, Luke Bryan, Eric Church, Luke Combs, Florida Georgia Line, Mickey Guyton, HARDY, Miranda Lambert, Carly Pearce, Thomas Rhett, Darius Rucker, Blake Shelton, Gwen Stefani, Cole Swindell, Carrie Underwood, Lainey Wilson, and Dwight Yoakam!

16 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

ENTERTAINMENT

Lauren Alaina Stars in Hallmark’s, Roadhouse Romance Sept 11th

Country music fan Callie is determined to continue her late grandfather’s legacy.

C

Hallmark.com

ountry music star Lauren Alaina is known for her big voice, big personality and heart-on-her-sleeve honesty in her lyrics. She has earned three number one hit singles in just under three years. Her two EPs, Getting Over Him and the previous Getting Good follow her number one hit “Road Less Traveled” from the 2017 most-streamed album of the year for a female country artist, Road Less Traveled. Her critically acclaimed sophomore album, Road 18 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

Less Traveled, landed on multiple “Best Of” lists including Billboard, Rolling Stone and Amazon, and became the top-streamed female country album release of 2017.

The singer songwriter has shared the stage with super stars including Alan Jackson, Blake Shelton, Carrie Underwood, Luke Bryan, Martina McBride and Jason Aldean, and sold out her own, first-ever headlining That Girl Was Me Tour.

Hallmark.com

Alaina has received multiple nominations for ACM Awards, CMA Awards, CMT Music Awards, Teen Choice Awards, Radio Disney Awards and Billboard Music Awards. Accolades include 2017 ACM New Female Vocalist of the Year, CMT Breakthrough Video of the Year for her “Road Less Traveled,” and CMT Collaborative Video of the Year for “What Ifs,” the six-time Platinum-selling No. 1 hit with childhood friend, Kane Brown.

The Georgia native has played on some of the highest-profile stages in the world including national television performances on

PBS’s “A Capitol Fourth,” “Dancing with the Stars,” “American Idol,” “Today,” ABC’s “Good Morning America,” “The Ellen Degeneres Show,” “Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon,” “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” “Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade,” ABC’s “CMA Fest” specials, CMA and ACM Awards and more.

Alaina made her film debut with Road Less Traveled in 2017 and is now excited to be starring in Roadhouse Romance, which premieres September 11th on Hallmark.

www.cowgirlsinstyle.com | 19

ENTERTAINMENT In Hallmark’s Roadhouse Romance, Country music fan Callie is determined to continue her late grandfather’s legacy. While TV director Luke is in town, he teaches her that sometimes it’s best to look forward instead of back. Stars Lauren Alaina and Tyler Hynes.

Catch Roadhouse Romance on Hallmark Channel PREMIERES SAT SEP 11 9/8c Hallmark.com

20 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

Hallmark.com

www.cowgirlsinstyle.com | 21

Hallmark.com

Hallmark.com

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This color Nearly Nude goes perfect with the Maybelline Seductress matte lipstick

Fashion Pick

owgirl

CIS Fashion Picks It’s Fall and I’ve got some HOT picks for you!

Devanie Gentry Fashion Editor

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The Colors Of Fall with dresses and bags...

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Cowgirl Fit

Walk to fitness!

Has the pandemic added a few pounds that you would like to get off by summer?

Join the 10,000/ Steps/Day Challenge!

The Movement Be a part of the Cowgirl Fit 10,000 Steps/Day Challenge!

• • • •

Facebook Group Walk 5 days/week Work up to 10,000/day Receive a FREE CIS Magazine digital subscription to all particiapants • Get healthy with us this summer!

SIGN UP FOR TODAY! 28 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

With so much going on since the COVID pandemic, many have been mentioning how it has been a struggle to stay in shape and keep weight off. So, for a limited time we are offering a Cowgirl Fit 10,000 Steps a Day Challenge! This challenge is FREE and particpants recieve a FREE Digital CIS Magaine Subsription!

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1. Accountability 2. Motivation 3. Support

Meet cowgirls across the country and get motivated and stay accountable!

Do you wish you could lose weight, get in shape and keep Follow us on Facebook! it off? So many times, we might lose those pesky pounds, but the hard part is keeping it off.

FOR With Cowgirl Fit, we help you get it off and help you keep it off! You will stay accountable by reporting in each day, stay motivated because we will be there to push you on and you will gain support by not only us, but our community of cowgirls. ‘ If you want to get fit, why not do it with a group of women who have the same interests as you. Cut out one fast food breakfast and it will pay for your whole month membership!

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Stable Life

introducing new horses to your herd You want to make a new transition as easy as possible

P

By: David Selman eople change horses as often as they buy new cars these days. “New” horses are always coming and going. There are people who have had 5-7 horses in as many years.

Many of these “new” horses already now how to behave in the herd. They know how to yield to the dominant horse, how to read posture, how to get out of the way, when to back down, and how to be a horse. Unfortunately, many of our pampered pets don’t know a whole lot about being a horse and this can get them into trouble when they most need it. Since you can’t ask the horse, it can be difficult to determine how your new horse is going to act with an established herd.

So it’s better to be safe and control this introduction a bit than to deal with veterinary bills and frustration.

30 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

It’s always best to quarantine or keep a new horse separate from your established herd until you are sure that the new horse is free of disease or any other malady.

When the horse is determined to be in good health, then it’s fine to begin the process of introducing him to the herd.

Many people that won’t let their horses be with another horse because they are afraid they’ll get hurt or that they are too valuable. Sure, getting hurt is always a risk --horses are some of the most “accident prone” animals on the planet. But, like our kids, we can’t always protect them from everything. No doubt they do cost a lot of money, but horses are herd animals and they value the companionship of another horse more than just about anything else.

There are numerous ways to introduce a new horse to the herd. Many people just throw the new guy out into the pasture and let him work it out with the established herd. This can work, horses have been doing this on their own for years before we ever got involved. This method works best if you have a lot of room for the horses to utilize their inherent herding traits just like they would in the wild. But, if you have a confined area where territory has been established, pecking order, friendships, etc. then you may want to intervene in order to control the success of the new horse in establishing himself in the herd.

If you just have one horse and you are bringing in another one, you’ll probably have two very relieved horses and your job won’t be too big. Horses are herd animals and it takes more than one to be a herd -- it’s really not a fair deal to keep a solitary horse. Many times you’ll be surprised that if you throw the new guy out with the others that he’ll go stand by himself and wait until he is invited in by the dominant horse.

However, if you have one horse to integrate with

many others (which is more likely) then you may have some issues. It’s likely that the resident horses are going to set the tone for behavior. Horses can quickly determine where they fit into the dominance “food chain” on their own. They know their station in life, but they are also always trying to improve their status. Horses have nothing but time out in the pasture -- they do this all day with other horses; flicking their heads, displaying dominant posture, and even kicking and biting when they feel like it’s necessary to reinforce their position in the herd. Leaders get used to leading. Expect that a horse who was dominant in a herd that he last came from is going to try to regain this status with the new herd.

Spoiled horses or horses that haven’t had much horse to horse interaction but have had a lot of horse to human interaction may not know how to behave in the herd environment. It’s not your job to teach them, but it is your responsibility to have a horse that knows how to yield to another. www.cowgirlsinstyle.com | 31

By having them in the herd, they are forced to play by horse rules? They have to yield to the dominant horse or risk the consequences. This is one of the best ways that I know of to teach a spoiled horse who is pushy with people how to be a horse.

The Common Problem Technique

Before attempting these techniques you should be able to interpret a horse’s attitude, posture, and have the skills to work in a round pen.

My favorite method of introducing a new horse to the herd is by giving all of the horses a common problem to work out. I usually put 3-4 horses into a round pen or arena and work them all at once with the new horse.

If you only have one horse this is still a good exercise to introduce one horse to another.

The common problem that we are talking about is you.

You need to ask them to do things that focus on you as the leader. Ask them to change directions, get them to draw in to you, hook on, move their feet like you want, etc. Make them all work. This gets their mind off their horse games that they play with each other and on to you. Look for signs that that herd is accepting the new horse. If you see any inappropriate behavior (i.e. kicking, biting, etc.) ask them all to work some more. If the behavior is good, reward them by letting them stand still.

It can take 2-3 sessions or it may take many more be-

32 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

fore your horse is fully integrated with the other horses. Don’t rush the introduction, it may appear that the horses get along pretty well after the first time but it’s probably a mistake to do this once and throw them all out together. Your time is well spent to do this right and not rush the introduction. Once you can see that the horses openly accept one another without any stress or pressure from you, it’s probably ok to put them out together.

Don’t get too involved. Let the horses determine what their herd standing will be. You may be able to do this for a few minutes while you have the focus of the herd, but you’re just wasting your time. The minute you leave, the horses are going to work this out on their own. Obviously, if a horse is getting the tar beat out of him by another you should get them working.

Remember to stay safe. Don’t insert yourself in the middle of the action. If you have to get “big” to keep the horses from running over you then do it.

This is where you are establishing your leadership role with the herd. If the horses are moving you out of the way, you probably shouldn’t be the one doing this exercise. And just in case, I always carry a rope or progress string that I can use to send energy to a horse that isn’t playing by the rules.

You may have more than one horse to integrate and that can be done with these techniques.

After a while the “new guy” will be integrated into the herd because he’s been working with the other horses to problem problem solve.

You may have too many horses to do this in a round pen. It’s important to know that the more horses you work with the harder this is to do. It’s not a good idea to work more than 5-6 at a time with this technique in a confined area. Any more than that and it’s hard to keep up with all the action.

You can use an arena, small fenced area, and even a small pasture. A round pen is not important, what’s important is that you control the interaction of the horses.

The Buddy System -- The Slow and Easy Technique Assuming that you have separately fenced areas to keep horses safely separated, another technique that you can use is to put the new horse into a stall or paddock within site of the others. This way he can visit from a distance and watch the interaction of the other horses. The new horse will study the others behaviors and learn what the herd hierarchy is from a distance before he gets into the mix and the herd gets a chance to check him out too.

Pick one horse to introduce to the new guy to and concentrate on building a relationship between the two of them. Start by walking the new horse by the other horse just so that they can see each other. Stop and allow them to smell each other, but don’t let them interact at first. This is easier if you do the introduction on neutral territory. Go on a trail ride, take them to a friend’s house, work cattle, go to another barn/arena to ride, etc. There is nothing like working together to bring two horses together in a common bond.

Eventually, you are going to put the two of them together in a fenced area. For the sake of safety and the ability to control the situation, you may still want to use some form of the “common problem” technique in order to freely introduce the two horses.

You risk more kicks, bites, and other injuries with this method. But, your personal safety is less at risk.

Even if you decide that this is the way you want to go, it’s still a good idea to work the horses in order to get their mind off of the horse games with each other. If you can initially get the horses to focus on you, they will be more likely to quickly accept the new horse because of his cooperation with the others.

Many horses don’t know how to be horses. We have a group of mares that we use to institute herd behavior with our new horses. There’s nothing better than an established band of mares who will not tolerate spoiled behavior to teach a young horse how to behave. They learn about posture, yielding, respect, patience, all of the things that you want the horse to understand with you as their leader. It doesn’t matter where they learn it. What’s important is that the horse does understand herd behavior and how to be a horse.

Your job is then easy? All you have to do is learn how to communicate with the horses to become their leader.

Set yourself up for success

-Use common sense. With any of these techniques, you will have better results if you set yourself up for success: -When you feed, scatter the food around so that the horses don’t have to eat on top of each other. You’ll avoid a lot of accidents by spending just a little more time.

-Make sure that you have shelter for all of your animals. If you don’t have enough protection then you’ll have some of them attempting to push others out into the weather.

-Establish a good quarantine program so that you don’t introduce any disesase/sickness to your other horse(s).

Stallions should not be introduced into a herd under any circumstances unless you know what you are doing. Young horses shouldn’t be introduced into a new herd until they are strong enough to fend for themselves. Sick, injured and/or old horses may be better off The Wide Open Spaces Technique Provided you have a lot of unhindered space, you may doing their own thing rather than making them have be able to throw the new horse in with the established to deal with the fine points of herd behavior. You can horse(s) and let him work it out with the established introduce horses across a fence line, between stalls, on the trail, or working. There’s a lot to be gained in these herd on his own.

Nothing new here -- horses have been doing this on particular cases by making sure that these horses have their own for years. A good rule of thumb would be 1 the ability to see the other horses and can visit from horse per acre of land. You need more space to allow a distance without causing any harm or being hurt. A for the horses to move, send horses out, invite horses horse doesn’t necessarily have to be in the same fenced area as the others to be part of that herd. in, etc. www.cowgirlsinstyle.com | 33

Cowgirl’s Voice

Marleen Bussma Award Winning Cowboy Poet

Six-time award winning poet Marleen Bussma has been described as a formidable story teller.

-By Susan Gentry

Her Story...

M

arleen was raised on a small farm in North Dakota where horses and cows were part of her daily life. Despite the passing of so many years, her North Dakota roots still hold her to the country way of life. She says, “I want to be that cowboy coming into camp to find a fresh horse no matter if the weather is wet and miserable. I can see and hear the old cowboys sitting at a table in the café trading stories about the best days ever. I understand the struggle to deal with Mother Nature while working land and cattle. I have seen the challenges of being a country wife. I feel at home where my stories take place.“ We asked Marleen how she started with her cowboy poetry.

“I attended a program of cowboy poetry one evening many years ago. As I watched the performers recite their rhymes about horses, cows, and the western way of life I felt right at home, because I grew up on a North Dakota farm. I decided that cowboy poetry was something I’d like to try. About 16 years ago I began writing poems about things that happened growing up on the farm. My work has gradually evolved to include true historical events and stories of real-life characters from days of the Old West. I 34 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

especially like to “dig out” true stories about women from those times.

Marleen writes of the adventures of women of the West from frontier days to modern farm and ranch times. She writes about the cowboy and rancher as he works and worries hoping to make it through another year.

Along with her writing, she also performs her poetry at various cowboy poetry gatherings.

She tell us, “I have met many great people and made new friends in my travels connected to cowboy poetry. We are a big family that is trying to keep the Old West alive.”

Her writing has earned several awards: 2018 and 2016 IWMA Cowboy Poetry Book of the Year, the 2016, 2019, and 2020 Will Rogers Medallion Award, the 2017 Georgie Sicking Award, and the 2018 Spur Award from the Western Writers of America. I have recited in many venues from AZ to ND. I have been an invited performer to the National Cowboy Poetry Gathering in Elko, NV. Now retired, my husband Vaughn and I live in Dammeron Valley, UT. We have included some of her writing on the next few pages... Enjoy...

www.cowgirlsinstyle.com | 35

8 Seconds

© - Marleen Bussma He reahes back behind one leg with one hand grabbing blind then fastens four chap buckles, scoring high is on his mind.

He treats the other side the same then spits into his palms.

He rubs his hands together, takes a breath that slowly calms.

He climbs into the saddle where he shimmies for a grip.

His backside hugs the seat just like the ocean hugs a ship.

He pulls his hat down to his ears, sends silent prayer to God. He leans back, pulls the lone rein tight, and gives the gate a nod.

A Simple Country Christmas © - Marleen Bussma

The dusk is cool and crisp as starlight brightens up the sky.

A faint breeze whispers softly as it makes the pine trees sigh.

The steeple of the church points thorugh its snow-encrusted coat as humble hymns and prayers of worshipers rise up and float beyond the building where the tethered horses stand and wait.

Their ears flick back and forth. They hear their owners celebrate the Savior’s birth, the promise of salvation, peace, and grace.

They’ve come for years to glorify and worship in this place.

A mellow glow from stained-glass windows shines out in the dark.

Soft strains of Silent Night are joined by coyotes as they bark.

A herd of deer carve quiet hoof prints, sculpt them in the snow.

The horses wait like cattle in the stable long ago.

36 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

Ode to a Farm Mother © - Marleen Bussma

She was born during the Roaring 20’s, grewe up durin the Dirty 30’s, came of age in the 40’s, the year of the war, living lean, but looking ahead.

Married life begins as a farm wife making a home in a sod house that has had a hard life.

Cattle use the corners as a scratching post and rub them into concave caricatures of structural integrity.

In the ensuing years blueprints for a new house fade on paper and end up misplaced in a drawer marked HOPE. Her horizons expand.

She can warm newborn pigs in a box of straw near the kitchen stove and help butcher them in the fall.

She can cook a large meal in her tiny kitchen for a threshing crew during harvest, attentive to the men who refuel with a blazed of white on their foreheads and brown forearms varnished by the sun.

Electricity comes to the farm.

The counterculture of the 60’s does not touch the bread basket of rural America.

There is no turning on tuning out.

Crops are planted.

Hay is stacked.

Cows are milked.

Running water and a telephone limp into the wooden, second-hand house, late and out of breath,

The only one in her family to graduate from high school raises two farm kids who will each earn college degrees.

Her success as a mother is whispered and carried by the prairie wind. www.cowgirlsinstyle.com | 37

A Western Woman Her face is burnished brown like leather well-worn to a shine.

Her hat shades eyes that watch life rivet iron to her spine.

She’s stacked hay in hot summer sun and mucked out dirty stalls.

She’s hunted for the family’s food and worn men’s overalls.

She’s helped the stock cows birth their calves in freezing ten degrees and squeezed air into failing newborns’ lungs while on her knees. Her turf lies well beyond the house she helped build with her mate. She’s ridden fence line, dug holes for new posts, and set them straight.

She’s faced and fought the hungry prairie fires that licked their land where she is rooted like an old oak tree that proudly stands.

A rope and saddle have been tools beneath the open skies.

Yet she’ll become all warm and tender when her baby cries.

She shares the heavy load of ranching that weighs down the day and she can take the reins when life becomes a runaway.

Resilience rides along undaunted where she makes the best of living off the range land. She’s a woman of the West.

© - Marleen Bussma

38 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

Marleen with her father, and Babe and Queen

Marleen and Champion

More Information: Find videos, books and more information on Marleen’s website!

www.marleenbussma.com www.cowgirlsinstyle.com | 39

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Cover Girl By: Susan Gentry

Michele Pillar 44 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

A

Michele Pillar

uthor, speaker and 3-time GRAMMY nominee, with more than 2 million records sold, Michele Pillar, is also a highly respected writer. Her book, Untangled, The Truth Will Set You Free, featured on “Dr. Phil” where he and Michele spoke openly about her faith and life. Untangled is a compilation of vivid, cinematic stories about Michele’s first call to courage at age 7 while hiding under her twin bed to escape the violent behavior of her addicted mother and later as an adult Christian, still struggling to find her footing, resulting in more losses. But more importantly, Untangled is a window of hope, making clear the process of healing. Looking back, Michele feels only gratitude.

Michele’s strong name recognition in Contemporary Christian Music and her many #1 radio hits may be her bedrock, but she now provides speaking engagements and a national women’s conference, “The Clothesline.”

Michele told us she has used horses as a way of healing from her past and we have included a chapter, “Ralph” from her book, “Untangled/The Truth Will Set You Free” in this issue.

You will laugh, cry, and most of all, cheer as you read her experiences with her beloved horse, Ralph. (Beginning on page 48.)

Q’s and A’s Cowgirls In Style Magazine: Could you tell has been the best move of my life. Now, evus a little bit about where you live, your farm eryone seems to be moving to Tennessee. and animals you have?

“The Fork”, as it’s called, is filled with such a vast mix of people. Lots of songwriters, and Michelle Pillar: I grew up in southern Cali- artists like Carrie Underwood and her husfornia, Orange County but in the mid-90’s band, hockey legend, Mike Fisher live here, I moved to Tennessee, just south of Nash- Justin Timberlake lives down the road, but ville. Being a recording artist at the time, it when we all bump into each other at The made sense but I felt like a pacific red snap- Country Boy Cafe’ or our 5 star restaurant, per out of water! I’m embarrassed to say this 1892, we chat and have a nice time along but because I’d never spent much time in with the locals who have lived here forever. I the south I equated a southern accent with love this place! My husband Matt and I own someone who isn’t hightly educated and a 32 acre horse farm at the end of a road.

I couldn’t have been more incorrect. I was I’m busy traveling with my full-day women’s the one who wasn’t educated, or ‘ignorant’ conference, The Clothesline and writing, but might be a better word. In short order, I still have two horses, fifteen beautiful laydiscovered the brilliance of the people liv- ing hens and an English Shepherd, Bentley. ing all around me and I leaned on my new The horse I ride is a Spotted Saddle horse neighbors for so much. Everything from named, “Bear.” He’s a Labrador in a horse’s how to grow a beautiful tomato to learning body. Almost seventeen hands, and a great to respect and serve people with southern athlete. But since I don’t ride often, I’m glad kindness. I was the alien and they graciously he’s “quiet”. I’ve fallen in love with the gaited welcomed me to the south. Living here in horses, no more posting for me! the bedroom community of Leiper’s Fork

46 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

Q’s and A’s CIS: You have accomplished so much. Do I try to wake up, thanking God for the day you still have goals that you would like to and asking Him to do with it what He wants achieve? If so, what are they? to; not so much what I may think the day looks like. When I do that, things get excitMP: I’ve been blessed to have done a lot but ing! It may not look like fireworks to anyone not without sacrifice. You can’t do it all, and else but things happen during the day that do it well, anyway. I never had children, be- have God’s fingerprints on it. There’s nothcause I was on the road singing, up to 200 ing more fulfilling in life than that. days a year when I was in my ‘babymaking’ years. I’d like to see women be kinder to themselves about what they haven’t done or should have done differently. Women give so much, by nature and that’s a good thing. It’s how most women are wired. But at the end of the day, it’s time to thank God for life, for what you’ve done well and accept God’s forgiveness for what you could have done better, then... let it go and look forward. Otherwise you walk through life with a limp, stuck looking in the rearview mirror. At The Clothesline Conference, I center a lot of the material and messaging around God’s deep love for His daughters.

Once we embrace that, we can accomplish so much, and for all the right reasons. God opens doors we couldn’t. Like when Dr. Phil read my book, Untangled, The Truth Will Set You Free and wanted to talk to me about it on his show this year! Who Photo: Courtesy Michel Pillar could imagine such a thing?

www.cowgirlsinstyle.com | 47

Cover Girl

RALPH

Book Bonus

By: Michele Pillar Taken from her book, Untangled/The Truth Will Set You Free

F

ortuity was kind to us that day. A soft summer breeze blew and carried with it shards of leaves, earth, and destiny that bit our necks, forearms, and faces. He closed his eyes and a single tear fell short of washing the sting away. He was asking for my hand, so I—without hesitation or foresight of consequence— leaned into him and brushed away the pain. He opened his eyes and out poured nothing less than deep love and gratitude. That was the first time I touched Ralph and the first time I was close enough to memorize the sweet smell of his skin, a smell that to this day remains etched in my memory . . . that of lavender, dandelion, and wild mint leaves.

Of course, that would be his cologne of choice.

What else would it be? He pegged me for a girl who likes an elegant, rough-and-tumble kind of guy. On the one hand, he was everything I’d ever dreamed of. On the other hand, he was nothing less than pure danger.

I remember it all like it was yesterday, the way he took my breath away. His black-brown eyes pierced my soul, and right then and there I knew I’d never be the same.

Hold on, girl. Don’t let him see ya sweat, I told myself and tried to still my pounding heart. I’d 48 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

learned long ago to hold my cards close to the vest with guys like this, but he was different.

I couldn’t hide from him. I couldn’t fool him, not for a second. I was done for. He knew it, and so did I. He sensed my undefined fear. You see, my streetwise friend Diane told me he’d been known to push girls like me around. So why the big attraction? That was the question I still couldn’t answer as I stood dangerously close to this dish of a guy.

Drowning in pure attraction, my emotions were running away with me like a herd of wild horses.

He offered up a soft “Hello” in that deep, warm voice of his, and my poker face broke. I heard myself sigh out loud, and I tried to take it back, but it was too late. He took a step toward me, and I surrendered a smile with the hope of melting his heart, returning the favor. Maybe then I could regain my composure.

How did I find him, or did he find me? And, am I enough for him? Can I handle him? Can he be tamed? Should I run like the wind, knowing he’ll bolt at the drop of a hat? Or should I trust my heart? Is he my “Once Upon a Time” or my worst nightmare?

Yes, I remember every second of our first encounter like it was yesterday. And then came

today. How could everything feel so right one minute and go so horribly wrong the next?

I think my first mistake was thinking that my love for him was strong enough to change him. I’ve heard the rogue side of a male can be traced back five or more generations. He and I came from two different worlds, two very different bloodlines. Those two worlds were bound to collide at some point, and when they did—oh, how the fur flew! My second mistake was thinking Cinderella could come through for me. ’Rella made me believe that pumpkins can become carriages pulled by horses that magically appear where mice once stood and could carry me away to the land of “Happily Ever After.” Well, ’Rella was dead wrong. My prince was born with two left feet. He stepped on my toes and pushed me too far on this hot summer day, and there were no soft breezes blowing this time to wipe away the tears. The only thing blowing was my lid, along with sweat, dust, and deep disappointment.

I kicked, he groaned. I kicked him in the gut again, and he spun around and tried to kick me back. But I backed him into a corner and had him over a barrel. I kept my body close to his in such a way as to make it impossible for him to retaliate. “Keep your enemies closer” was the mantra my instincts called upon as I reared back my boot and kicked him one more time.

He wilted and stared at me as if to say, “I give.”

But I wasn’t finished with him yet. A woman’s scorn is an ugly thing. I never dreamed I was capable of such, but self-preservation is a Godgiven gift. I pulled him up by the collar and slugged him as hard as I could, square in the jaw. Blood flew through the air like a Rain Bird sprinkler. Not his blood—mine. One of his teeth sliced my knuckle to the bone. Adrenaline deadened the pain.

This bully found an ancient button inside of me and pushed it when he threw me down moments earlier. His attack gave me the fuel I

needed to work him over. Little did he know I spent the first eleven years of my life being beaten to a pulp by both my mom and my sister Marilyn. Time after time, Mari- lyn waltzed into my bedroom, came up from behind, and just started swinging. With every punch she told me, “If ya hit me back, I’ll hit you again, twice as hard.” And I believed her. When she was done getting her ya-yas out on my eightyfive-pound body, she turned and walked out of my room like it was all my fault, like I deserved it. I lived under her tyranny until the day I’d had all I could take, closed my eyes, and started swinging back. I can still feel the connection of my fist meeting bone and soft tissue. When I opened my eyes, Marilyn was long gone and never touched me again. That’s where I was with this guy Ralph today. A sweet, quirky name for a big, fat bully. But this time I was swinging with my eyes wide open.

The unraveling of Ralph and me had been coming for weeks. Everyone around us saw it before I did. Often, I tried to speak my peace, and Ralph’s comeback was always the same, “What is your problem? Get off my back!”

I’d shrink like a snail and try a different set of words the next day. The truth was I didn’t know how to ask, so Ralph didn’t bother to listen.

Being ignored was one of the many injustices I’d learned to live with, but earlier today Ralph digressed to an all-new low, one I couldn’t live with. He flung me down with the force of his weight behind it. I landed in a pile and smashed my knee against a wooden post, cracking my kneecap. With head hung low, I limped away to lick my wound, when—in a flash—thirtyseven years of being afraid of my own shadow melted into hot molten “I’ve had it!” and I did an about-face and executed the aforementioned walloping with blood, sweat, and tears flying everywhere. www.cowgirlsinstyle.com | 49

We were both guilty. I, guilty of trusting Walt Disney. Ralph, guilty to the bone of one thing and one thing only: of being an animal.

Equus, to be specific, or as most humans would call him: a horse.

Ralph, my very first horse, was a birthday gift the day I turned thirty-seven. His registered name was Zaliant Prince, and his family tree was diseased just like mine. I think that’s why I was attracted to him to begin with. We picked up the sixteen-hand, twelve-hundredpound hooligan for a song. That should have been our first clue that something was awry with this bargain-basement birthday present.

The seller gave us some hard-luck story about how she was being forced to sell the pinto gelding to feed her children.

The day Ralph arrived was one of the happiest days of my life. I didn’t sleep for weeks and loved walking out to our make- shift pole barn to stare at the pretty boy in the middle of the night just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. He was big and hand- some, and he was mine, all mine.

I didn’t know the first thing about riding a horse, so I made a few calls and found out who the trainer of choice was in our area of the canyon. It was the one, the only, Natasha!

I gave Natty a call, and after she made me feel less than two inches tall, she reluctantly put me on her schedule for a 10:00 a.m. lesson, three days a week. “It’s very difficult to teach a woman of your age to ride. Fear usually gets the better of her. But if anyone can pull it off, I can,” she bragged.

“I’ll show her. I’ll learn to ride in no time,” I assured friends and family in innocence even after the training bills began to pile up. And now, six months into it, I was nowhere near ready to break free from Natty. Ralph was eating my lunch in every lesson, and Natty described me as “a sack of potatoes draped over 50 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

a saddle.” I wanted to quit a hundred times over.

One day, while I was pouring myself into my riding breeches and hopping on one foot to pull on my boot, my then-husband, Larry asked me the question I’d been asking myself for weeks. “Are you sure you want to do this, Michele? You don’t seem to be very good at it.

Maybe tennis or racquetball lessons would be a better fit.”

Those were fightin’ words. I was bound and determined to hang in there with Ralph and Natty, just to spite him.

But spite comes at a price. Right in the middle of my next lesson, and with Natty in the saddle, Ralph did what Natty coined “the unforgivable sin.” More simply put, he reared up. The minute his front feet lifted off the arena dirt three inches, Natty dismounted the big galoot, got in her red, oxidized Mercedes, and drove away, never to return. “I will not train a horse that chooses to rear!” were her exact words on my answering machine later that day.

Ralph and I were left standing in a cloud of dust with bits of gravel in our teeth from Natty’s rear tires. “What’s the big deal?” I asked Ralph. He said nothing. So, I jumped aboard and decided to give it a go on my own. “We don’t need that hoity-toity trainer, Ralph,” I said, and legged him into a trot. It took Ralph a grand total of five minutes to figure out that Lil’ Miss Know-It-All was no longer watching us. It was then he tossed me into next week and broke my kneecap. That’s when I socked him in the jaw and kicked him in the belly hard enough to knock the wind right out of him. I got back up in the saddle, broken knee and all, and trotted that thickheaded horse around and around until his tongue hung to the ground.

Then I tied him to the same post he used to crack my knee on and left him there in ninetydegree heat for three hours to think about it.

Sitting on the couch with a bag of frozen peas on my knee gave me time to reflect on my journey with Ralph. It was a road that looked all too familiar. I had to admit it. The problem wasn’t Ralph’s; it was mine.

For as long as I could remember I was in intimate relationships that didn’t work, so why did I think it would be different with Ralph? All my life I believed that my happiness lay in the hands of someone else. I gave more than my fair share and got less than I hoped for, every single time. I changed my colors and habits to fit the other person’s needs and hadn’t a clue of my own needs. I didn’t respect myself, so why should they respect me? Ralph wasn’t the first guy to call me out on it, but he was the first one who forced me to listen. His correction was swift and clear. The day he slapped me on the wrist, or knee I should say, was the most honest confrontation anyone had ever dealt me.

There’s nothing like a horse to call you on the carpet. Ralph had been walking all over me for months, and I had done nothing to stop him. I sat in the saddle in lesson after lesson as a mere passenger, hoping against hope that Ralph would do as I wished. But all the hoping in the world wasn’t going to grant me my wishes. The day he broke my knee was the day he got tired of our silly little game of push and pull. He’d been around this block with countless riders, and that’s why his last owner sold him to us. Little did the seller know she was doing me a great service. From the minute Ralph arrived at our farm, he began answering a list of lifelong questions I’d left unanswered for years. I finally got the message and had a bag of frozen peas on my knee to prove it.

Without help, I knew Ralph’s next argument would most likely land me in the orthopedic ward at Mesa Community Hospital, so I called Bill Duer, the local cowboy horse whisperer.

“Sounds to me like we need to get you out-

ta that arena and into the real world with ole Ralphie boy.” Bill laughed long and hard as he listened to story after story of Ralph’s antics.

“A good old-fashioned trail ride will even out the playing field, Michele. But I gotta warn ya, I have one hard and fast rule: no matter what happens, you can’t get off the horse.”

My stomach did a somersault. Bill was right. It was time to learn to ride it out, and no one else could do my riding for me. If I wanted to find the fairy tale, I was going to have to let go of the Cinderella fantasies about life and love. I was tired of dead- end relationships.

As soon as my knee healed up, Bill and I hit the trail. He rode a quiet quarter horse mare named Sadie, and I was on Ralph.

I was scared to death. Ralph was too. Our first big challenge was to slide down a fourfoot drop at the edge of a dry riverbed. Bill went first. He asked his mare to sit back on her haunches and slide down the bank on her butt, then walk across the riverbed to the other side.

He made it look so simple. I was so hoping Ralph would do as Sadie did, but just like old habits, old hopes die hard.

Ralph and I got to the edge, and he not only wouldn’t go, but he reared up in protest. I could envision Natty’s tire tracks etched in my driveway. I wanted to quit. I wanted to quit so badly.

Bill started barking out instructions. “Sit up, Michele! Whack him on the butt! Mean it!

Keep him facing forward! Use your legs. He can’t rear up if he’s going forward! Don’t let him think about it! Don’t let him set his back feet! Kick his hindquarters out from under him, if ya have to!”

I don’t know what ached more, my legs, my brain, my lungs, or my heart. Ralph was jumping and squirming like a bug in a cast-iron skillet. He spun around one more time and headed toward home! www.cowgirlsinstyle.com | 51

“Get that horse back here, Michele!” Bill shouted.

I shortened my reins and pulled Ralph’s nose around to my right foot, circled him and rode him back to the riverbank. I took a minute to catch my breath. “Are you sure I can’t get down and just lead him across, Bill? The sun is going down.” I begged. I pleaded. My reasoning fell on deaf ears.

For the next thirty minutes I did the best I could with everything Bill shouted at me.

Driving a hard bargain felt so foreign to me.

It was exhausting. I wanted to cry. I wanted to give up, give in, get off, and go home and take a hot bath with a chaser of Advil. But Bill’s one-and-only rule kept me in the saddle. Plus, I couldn’t give Larry the satisfaction of seeing me walk through the door after dark, beat up and defeated.

Just when I thought my legs couldn’t squeeze another time, I looked down at where the bank had been, and it was gone. Ralph’s endless dancing had obliterated it. There was nothing left to slide down. All we needed to do was to walk forward. He still wouldn’t go.

I thought of the times I’d faced obstacles and when God moved the obstacle aside, I couldn’t see past my fear and disbelief, thinking the obstacle was still there.

“Calm down, just walk forward, Michele,” Bill said. (Or, maybe it was God, I don’t recall.)

I made the choice to obey. I focused past the obstacle and straight ahead to my teacher. I looked in the direction I wanted to go, popped Ralph on the butt one more time, and legged him forward. He walked across the riverbank and stood next to Sadie. Bill said, “Great! Now go back and do it again!”

“You’ve got to be kidding, Bill. It’s dark out here!”

Bill gave me a look, and I walked Ralph back to point one, moved him over to a fresh spot, 52 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

and asked him to slide. He sat back, and when the bank gave way beneath his front hooves, I gave him a swift kick and down the riverbank he slid! We did it! We did it in the dark of night! That was the first time Ralph learned that he could trust me even more than the eyes in his head. It was the first time I learned how to speak my mind and believe in the truth more than the darkness surrounding me. And Ralph didn’t fault me for it, either. In fact, he respected me for it.

When I became the leader Ralph could count on, he did whatever I asked of him. I drew lines of self-respect in sandy riverbanks, over hilltops, and through scrub oak as high as Ralph’s nose.

“Good boy, Ralph!” became my new confession. Inside my head I heard “Good girl, Michele.” Confidence brought about clarity of mind and the ability to do what was right instead of reacting out of fear, need, and helplessness. Ralph’s body relaxed under me, and it was obvious that even though encouragement was foreign to him, he loved hearing it as much as I loved giving it. I disciplined Ralph with my crop when he deserved it, but those times became few and far between. Every day I felt stronger inside, and Ralph carried me through wind and weather. I bathed him at the end of each ride and told him over and over what a great horse he was. His eyes grew soft and trusting, as did mine.

We learned to jump fences and rode with the hounds of the Hunt Club, but with age catching up with us, I felt Ralph’s back begin to weaken. I called the vet to take a look-see, and he told me Ralph was fine. We took some time off, and when we started in again, I learned to hold his back together using my legs as a back brace. With my support, Ralph moved along Rock andboth Roll Denim pain free. It was hardPhoto: work for of us but well worth it, because we could keep on rid

ing. He was comfortable and bright-eyed and rode with his beautiful chestnut-colored ears up and forward.

I sold horse supplements at horse shows and saved up enough money to compete in the 1993 Canadian National Championships with Ralph. We won a National Top Ten title. This was quite a feat for a girl who once sported a bag of frozen peas and cowered to her older sister. Whatever Ralph and I did, we took care of each other. We were better together than either one was alone.

After the nationals, Ralph’s back took months to heal, and I knew it was time to retire my friend. Besides, I needed to close the book of fairy-tale endings and get back to living in the real world.

An unsung hero is defined as one who makes a substantive yet unrecognized contribution to another’s life. Ralph will always be my unsung hero. He taught me never to ride for the ribbons or glory but to ride for truth and without fear, and the ribbons will follow. Ralph taught me to win from the inside out. He taught me to win for all the right reasons.

God has used horses, more than any other living being, to teach me what an honest relationship looks like. You can’t lie to a horse. You can lie to yourself, your friends, your spouse, your kids, and even God, but it is virtually impossible to lie to a horse. Horses demand honesty and a pure heart. They ask that you listen more often than you speak. They will only obey if your demands are fair, trustworthy, and without ego. Anything less and they’ll ride you harder than you’ll ever ride them. They are quick to forgive, but if you try to control them with ill motive, they’ll never forgive you.

These are the laws of equus.

There are countless times in every lasting rePhoto: Rock and Roll Denim lationship when boundaries are tested and challenged to the uttermost. These challenges

appear to be enemies at first glance, yet are friends who bring to the union gifts of width, breath, depth, and worth.

And then there’s the Deep Winter. In this season the storms crash down upon the roof and walls of the relationship, and cold winds of doubt and fear blow in on its heels. The walls of love and respect buckle to the point of near foundering. This is the test of all tests, the challenge of all challenges, and once conquered, it awards the spoils of an everlasting love, the bonds of which can never be broken.

The Deep Winter came to Ralph and me one bright and beautiful morning when we least expected it. With my coffee cup in hand and slippers on my feet, I moseyed out to the barn to do the feeding, like it was any other morning. Little did I know that on this day Ralph would test me as never before.

I had his bucket of oats in one hand and his flake of hay in the other. As I approached my twelve-hundred-pound friend, he faced off with me with the strength of a lion in his eyes. I wasn’t prepared to handle his challenge wearing house slippers and a robe. I hadn’t a crop or whip in hand to fend him off, only a useless coffee cup with less than an ounce of lukewarm liquid in it. There was no halter or rope within reach to contain him.

I wanted to run, but I knew there wasn’t enough time to get away from what he was about to do to me. As the seconds ticked by in slow motion, the way they do when danger is imminent, I saw full well the message his eyes of fire were delivering to me. And I knew neither a crop, a rope, nor a halter would be enough to protect me from his challenge. I needed something much stronger, farther reaching, more powerful, and he wasn’t about to give me time or space to gather my wits.

I tried to look away like they tell you to do when a bear is on the attack, hoping he’d www.cowgirlsinstyle.com | 53

change his mind. I tried to pretend I didn’t understand his resolve, but he knew I was pretending, so he forged ahead with his assault.

If Ralph and I had learned nothing else, we’d learned to read one another like a book, therefore he was relentless in this, his most powerful move to date. He stared into my eyes and with one look, he demanded I listen. With that one look he asked me to do for him what he couldn’t do for himself. He asked me to stop his suffering, to kill the pain. To let him go.

I approached, and he didn’t step forward to greet me. He couldn’t. I lifted the bucket of oats to his mouth, and he refused my offer. I set the flake of hay near his feet, and he could not take the step necessary to find nourishment. I wrapped my arms around his neck and placed my hand over his heart. It was beating faster than normal to cope with the discomfort, and his chest was damp with sweat. I didn’t need a doctor to tell me what was happening. Ralph was more than capable of explaining every last detail of where we were. We were facing our Deep Winter, and I owed it to him not only to believe him but to honor his request.

I called the vet, and after he examined Ralph, he told me what I already knew. He asked me if I wanted to wait a few days to think it over, and I said, “No. It’s time for rest.”

I walked over to Ralph and placed his halter on his head for the last time. It took all the strength the two of us could muster to walk, step by painful step, out to the roadside. We took it slow. It was time to let go, but neither of us was in a hurry to get there. The doctor gave me a few minutes to say good-bye. I placed my forehead against Ralph’s and looked into his brown-black eyes one last time. I tried to still my pounding heart, but just like on the day we first met, I couldn’t. So, this time I dropped my guard at his feet.

I balanced on my tiptoes and whispered into 54 | Cowgirls In Style | Fall 2021

his ear, “Thank you for teaching me to stand up for myself, to draw lines and boundaries in the sands of life, and to turn fear into anger, anger into courage, and courage into love. Thank you for being the most honest friend I’ve ever known and for showing me what a relationship with God looks like.” Then I said what Ralph longed to hear, the words that brought life and love and so much happiness to his broken, rebellious heart so long ago: “You are such a good boy, Ralph. Such a good boy.”

Fortuity was kind to us that day. A soft summer breeze blew and carried with it, shards of leaves, earth, and destiny that bit our necks, forearms, and faces. He closed his eyes and a single tear fell short of washing the sting away. He was asking for my hand, so I—without hesitation or foresight of consequence— leaned into him and brushed away the pain. He opened his eyes and out poured nothing less than deep love and gratitude.

That was the last time I touched Ralph and the last time I was close enough to memorize the sweet smell of his skin, a smell that to this day remains etched in my memory . . . that of lavender, dandelion, and wild mint leaves.

“Ralph”, an excerpt from Michele’s book, Untangled, The Truth Will Set You Free, and her music is available on MichelePillar.com and was recently featured on The Dr. Phil Show. Her interview with Dr. Phil can be viewed on DrPhil.com by typing, Michele Pillar into the search bar.

Visit her website at: www.michelepillar.com

Michele and her love for horses...

Sunny age 43

Photo: Impulse Photography

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18 1/2” X 24” Limited Edition Print $160 Artist Proof Print $225 18” X 24” Limited Canvas Transfer $325 AP Canvas Transfer $370 24” X 32” Supersize Limited Canvas Transfer $425

“Her Own Kind of Heaven”

24” X 18” Limited Edition Print $160 Canvas Transfer $370 Add a Driftwood Frame $450

Shop www.TimCox.com to see our current BOGO Bargains*. Right now get 2 FREE Limited Edition Prints, "Horse Whisperer" & "A Soft Touch", with a minimum purchase of $150. Just add your purchase (along with both prints) to your shopping cart and use code “SHINE” at checkout.

Free Shipping in Continental U.S.A.

Come see us at www.TimCox.com or Call (505) 632-8080 * BOGO Bargains are subject to change based on the season. Please check our website for the latest deals.