Learning to Forgive by Practicing Forgiveness

Learning to Forgive by Practicing Forgiveness

By Anthony Acampora

The ability to forgive someone who has hurt us seems to elude many people and can become a spiritual poison, as we are now operating outside of God’s will. This is why learning to forgive by practicing forgiveness is such a major component to living an abundant life.

One of the most destructive and painful times in my life had a direct correlation with my inability and or reluctance to forgive. When harboring resentments in some distorted way we may feel we are enacting some form retribution against those who hurt us but the reality is we are the one who has become tormented with our own thoughts, while enabling the person to repeatedly to hurt us in our own minds. This is in no way an easy task and it took me nearly seven years to forgive those who hurt me, but it is entirely possible.

When I finally was able to truly forgive from the heart through actually applying Biblical principles and much prayer, it was as though the door to the prison in my mind was unlocked and swung wide open. If you are in any way familiar with God’s Word, you know that one of the major points emphasized is the area of forgiveness. If we know there is such an emphasis on forgiveness and that it was not just a suggestion, then why is it so many of us struggle to forgive and let go of resentments. I believe what often occurs is the hurt is so deep and profound many people do not realize that forgiving someone is not for the other person, it’s for our own well-being and peace of mind. One of the major obstacles in the process of forgiveness is allowing ourselves to become vulnerable with the person who already hurt us in some way or multiple ways. We may say things such as, “I was already hurt once by this person, why would I put myself out there again?”

The reality is, if we do not forgive, we allow that person to hurt us over and over through our own destructive thoughts, which usually leads into destructive actions. I carried this toxic person into every aspect of my life by playing the same horrendous tape in my head. Why would we ever want to spent another minute with the person who caused us so much pain? The answer is simple, we wouldn’t yet we continue to do it by allowing the person to beat us into a state of darkness, bitterness or worse. It’s the equivalent of watching the worst horror movie you have ever seen and then watching it thousands of times in that movie theater in your head. Why would we ever want to give someone that type of power!? When we feed those resentments, we are on the downward spiral to losing hope. When it comes to forgiving, begin by practicing forgiveness on the smaller things and build up to the major areas. When we begin to interrupt the pattern of revisiting the hurt, which is like pouring gasoline on a fire, it is then that we will begin to move on with life and start experiencing the amazing things that God created in this world for us to enjoy.

If we can eliminate the “Why” questions and focus on the “How” question, namely “How can I grow through this and learn from this, begin to really stand on God’s truth and know that He will work it for good.” We don’t need to know the details of His plan, just trust that He has one. It will begin to change your perspective on the situations that are causing so much pain. Once you do this, you have now begun the amazing process of learning to forgive by practicing forgiveness!

Anthony Acampora is the Faith Program Director & Chaplain at Banyan Treatment Centers. He is a published author, writer and speaker. He earned a Bachelor’s degree in ministry from Vision International University and received an Advanced Diploma in Biblical Studies from the Int’l School of Ministry. He is a former board member of the Henderson Behavioral Health, FACT and the National Alliance Mental Illness, Broward County. In 2019 Anthony was selected “Professional of the Year” by: Broward National Recovery Month Organization. In 2018 he was selected as Global Goodwill Ambassador representing the USA. In 2015 he received the “Volunteer Recognition Award” from National Alliance Mental Illness, Broward County In 2014 - Selected “Public Citizen of the Year by: National Association of Social Workers, Broward County. He is the host of the Faith in Recovery Show.

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Our Staff Member and Therapy Dog, Luke, at Banyan’s Faith in Recovery program.