What it Takes to Be a Life-Changer by Tami Thorsen

“I’ve never played a game of paintball in my life!” I replied to a rather surprised youth pastor after he watched me, a skinny blonde girl, boldly explain to a group of husky teenage guys the game’s rules. This pastor was certain I had played the game a zillion times when, in reality, I had been told the rules on paper just minutes before the first intimidating group arrived to play!

Honestly, I am scared to play the game, let alone handle the gun! I was merely another youth leader helping at a youth camp, and it just so happened they put me in charge of paintball. No one could see the trepidation I felt inside. From my confident explanation, others assumed I had paintball expertise when, in reality, I could only talk about the game. I had no experience and no real courage for playing it. (And I hope I never will!)

This true story illustrates how we can know all about the truth and yet still live a lie. In essence, knowledge does not guarantee life change, just as knowing content does not guarantee its transforming application.

As educators, mentors, coaches, etc. we must never be satisfied that those we serve can retell us content or details. We must commit to being a catalyst, enabling them to move from content-talking (knowledge) to content-playing (application) so that personal transformation becomes evident in their attitudes and behaviors as they live out what they know. This article shares a few insights I have gained from my early years of teaching in a classroom setting and my present learning, as I currently serve as a Gospel-driven life coach. I am eager for more experience to further apply these effectively in my present roles and ministries. This also is my prayer for anyone who reads this.

To be truly effective teachers and, most important, life-changers, we must constantly evaluate the amount of time we spend on content (knowing lots of things) versus its application (putting what we know into personal action). I used to spend many fun, yet grueling hours creating, preparing, and displaying the content of my lessons so they would be fun, vibrant, and memorable. Whether this presentation involved flashy visual aids, breathtaking bulletin boards, “on the edge of your seat” storytelling, or even attention-grabbing video clips, I reveled in how exciting my classroom or lesson itself appeared. However, I found as great as this sounds, master-teaching uses these mediums only as the vehicle on the road to application, which leads to transformation. In other words, the content we teach is just content if it makes no difference in the learners’ life. The missing ingredients: Personal Discovery and Personal Application.

Merely teaching content greatly limits the learning dynamic if it does not adhere to the method displayed in God’s Word, our standard, whether the content centers on health/wellness, math, science, the Bible, art, or some other subject. God, our Creator, designed us to be naturally excited to learn what helps us understand and navigate our own lives. If we personally do not believe we need the content/information, we will not be motivated to learn it, let alone have the desire to be changed by it. Jesus, our Master-Teacher/Coach, modeled this by the questions he asked: by drawing out, peeling back, and expanding the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Jesus was a catalyst in that his questions enabled people to see their own limiting beliefs, personal needs, desires, and motivations. In short, Jesus catalyzed personal discovery in others. He had a discerning spirit on how not to err on the side of direct telling, advising, and correcting. Sure, direct content-teaching was necessary for Jesus and necessary for you and me—at times, but not all the time. An integration of what is now termed “coaching” has a far more transformational effect.

Coaching skills and mindsets which are integrated into the more natural skill and bent we have for telling, advising, correcting not only multiply the learning curve but greatly influence the transformational impact on a personal level and beyond! How exciting! Amazingly, I have seen this occur every single time I integrate coaching into my teaching, mentoring, and leadership roles. Those I coach experience greater personal value, confidence, joy, and motivation as coaching comes alongside the one you are serving, like a “lab partner” or a “hiking companion” rather than a “drill sergeant” or a “firehose” of information.

JCoaching is definitely an art. It is far more intricate than paintball. You can’t “fake” your way to being a coach. Like facilitating a paintball game, coaching is far easier said than done. It takes far more courage to ask a question than it does to offer up advice, release an answer or provide a solution. It takes more than knowing all the steps for a powerful coaching conversation; it takes a mindset and a heart-position of humility and courage to partner with another in the discovery process and let them decide how they want to move forward, applying the new insights and awareness in ways most valuable to them! Now that is what leads to transformation, not just regurgitation.

So, how might this change the way you facilitate your next “round of paintball”? What is your next step? What support might you need?

Tami Thorsen

Tami Thorsen is a Cedarville University education graduate, wife, mother of two, and career missionary under SIM USA. She team-taught the high school Bible classes with her husband at Carachipampa Christian School in Cochabamba, Bolivia South America from 2004-2012. Since 2016, Tami has been serving as a professional ICF ACC Gospel-driven catalyst life coach & licensed COACH Model trainer with Head2Heart Onward Coaching Ministries. www. head2heartonward.com