MYTH VS REALITY - “I AM WELL, HOW ARE YOU?” by Melody Foster

Should I tell the truth? How much can they handle? Will they think I am weak, or think I do not love Jesus enough? Am I allowed to be depressed? These questions pass through many Christian minds daily.

Once, I was concerned that depression meant that I did not have enough faith or enough love for Jesus. I sat crying in the doctor’s office thinking about what a failure as a Christian I must be. How could my doctor think that I need medicine? I admit having chronic tiredness and overwhelming sadness makes me miserable. I could sleep for fifteen hours a day and still be tired. I cried tears that I did not understand because my life was full. I had a family, a church family, and a job. We had so many blessings. How could I have depression? I thought I should be able to do my job, my home, my children all with little help. All the while needing to serve at church and care for ailing family members. The younger me had no clue that depression could be a combination of physical issues and psychological stressors.

That was me at twenty-seven years old. At forty-nine, my life is much better. I did not take the medication my doctor prescribed. It would be another fourteen years of struggling before I would try antidepressants.

Losing my husband of twenty years in 2013 would push me to a place where I tried the medication. For three years, I took a medication that was too strong and had awful side effects. Finally, I mentioned it to my doctor. Not sure why I felt the need to suffer so long. The need to be strong did not serve me well. We tried a different medication in 2016 and I have been in a good place since. It would appear I found a “magic bullet.” No more heavy sadness, unless there was a reason, and feeling a range of emotions has brought much relief and joy to my life.

I also earned a Master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. The program at Liberty University in Lynchburg, VA, taught me how to examine self and use critical thinking skills. Our program took us deep within ourselves. The program taught us we must face our triggers and trauma before it would be safe to counsel other people. After all, can you really take another person to a place you have never been? Jesus came to earth and experienced humanity firsthand. Now he sits as an intercessor for us, as mentioned in the Epistle to the Romans, with our heavenly father with the knowledge of our fleshly pangs, longings, and desires. (Romans 8:34)

I want to assure you Jesus met me where I was at, and he graciously worked with me on one thing at a time. I had trauma to deal with and blood tests revealed I did not have normal serotonin levels. The combination of these things meant that medication could help me, much like insulin helps a diabetic. Acceptance came slowly, but sometimes I try to ween off the medicine just to find that I still need it. I tend to think that because my coping skills have improved and my boundaries are healthier, maybe I can do life without medication.

I beg you to be honest. Connect with Jesus and a community that loves Jesus. Many make the claim but learn how to see real followers by the way they love. Mental health still may feel a bit taboo, but Christian communities must step up and help. Today it starts with me and my story.

Tell me yours.

Behaviors of Highly Resilient People

1. Become hard to offend.

One lesson in 1 Corinthians 13: 5 speaks about not being easily provoked or offended. The way others act does not have to change your mood or behavior. Expect rejection and mistakes. Not everyone is like-minded. One does not have to accept things said about them or let them into their heart. It is the power of choice. People who live entirely by emotional response will usually never find that deep abiding peace mentioned in Philippians 4: 6-7. Most of what people say or do is more about them than it is about you, anyway.

2. Challenge yourself.

Emotional growth comes by stepping out of your comfort zone when an opportunity arises. Stop comparing yourself to others. Just worry about being a better person today than you were yesterday. Life is a journey and we hope to grow in maturity as we age. Find people you wish to become like and make time to spend with them. King Solomon wrote, “As iron sharpens iron, so one [person] sharpens another.” (Prov. 27:27)

Melody Foster