IRON FRIENDSHIPS by Nicole Byrum

When you think of friendship, what words or images spring to mind? (Go ahead, take a second to think!) Perhaps you thought of words like love, kindness, or loyalty. Or maybe the faces of your friends flooded your mind’s eye. Perhaps you heard years of heartfelt laughter and fellowship. For some, the thoughts, feelings, and memories associated with friendship may not have been as positive. To be sure, the road of friendship can be tricky to navigate, and no friendship is without its faults. But without a doubt, friendship is one of the greatest gifts given to us by God.

And while friendships should absolutely be characterized by love, support, and a crazy amount of priceless memories, there is another crucial characteristic of friendship that often gets overlooked. Proverbs 17:7 (NIV) says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” As Christians, the blessing of friendship, of being one another’s iron, is that it is a tool for sanctification.

I wrote about this idea in chapter 4 of my book, Remade: Living Free, and am happy to share a brief excerpt here:

“The idea of iron sharpening iron is that there is mutual advantage when you rub two iron edges together. During this process, the pieces become sharper and ultimately more effective for their daily uses. So it is with friendship; there is so much value when two people are able to challenge one another. To be challenged means being pushed to be your very best self and pushed to pursue a closer relationship with God...The friends in our lives should spur us on to greatness, and most importantly, to look more like Christ.”

Scripture makes it clear that we are to encourage and sharpen one another. Colossians 3:16 (ESV) says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” However, I must give a word of warning: being sharpened doesn’t always feel good! But what growth doesn’t come with some growing pains? The two go hand in hand and we cannot expect to have one without the other.

As brothers in sisters in Christ, we are called to worship with one another, encourage one another, and hold one another accountable in living obediently to the Word. This is God’s beautiful design for His children: that we should be the tools to shape one another into the image of Christ.

I have to laugh at God’s timing. As I was sitting at our kitchen table writing this article, my 12-yearold daughter was trying her hand at making a peanut butter milkshake (per her 9-year-old brother’s request). Let’s just say after sampling her work I gave her some constructive feedback for improving her creation! Her response to my critique was, “Thanks mom, you’re making me better.” This amazing statement was then followed by a little song and dance, “You make me better when you tell me I’m wrong, La- Dee-Da-Dee I’m singing this song!” I couldn’t help but think, “Yes, girl, and a fantastic example of iron in action!”

And may it be so with us. May we pray for and seek out friendships that challenge and encourage us to be more like Christ. And may we, in turn, be good stewards of the friendships God has given us as we lovingly sharpen those in our lives.

I am a therapist and writer who is passionate about family, faith, and recovery. I am the author of Remade: Living Free, a book that explores topics related to substance abuse, recovery, and unhealthy relationships from a biblical perspective.

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.