Nicole is a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 14 years of experience in community mental health. She is the author of Remade: Living Free a book written for women in recovery from substance abuse and unhealthy relationships. Nicole also maintains a blog at nicolebyrum.com as well as a podcast, 5 Minute Word. Both focus on topics related to faith and relationships. She lives in Northwest Ohio with her husband and two children. When she’s not writing, you can find her reading, running, or cooking.
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VA C AT I O N A N D S E R VA N T H O O D by Nicole Byrum
As a follower of Christ, we are called to love and serve those around us, whether that be in our community, our country, or overseas. But more and more I have come to see that as a wife and mother my first line of service is to my family. In light of that statement, I’m about to share a really embarrassing story. And I don’t mean the “I fell on my face in front of the whole school” kind of embarrassing. I mean the regretful “I can’t believe I did that” kind of embarrassing. So without further ado here it goes. A few summers ago on a steamy July day, my husband, our two children, and I prepared to leave for a few days of camping. Now, when I say “prepared to leave” what I mean is the kids and I contributed to this process only by packing our bags and the snacks. But for those of you who have been camping before you know how involved packing can be— there are tents, all the gear, food, sleeping bags, and various recreational activities to consider. It’s quite an endeavor to live a simple life for a few days! Combine this with the weak excuse that packing, in general, isn’t my strong suit, and what you get is this: I chose to stay in our air-conditioned home scrolling through Facebook while my husband loaded our vehicle in the scorching sun.
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Before we departed, we had some discussion about this, as my husband expressed his frustration that we hadn’t even offered to help him. And he was right. I realized that not only was I not taking the opportunity to help him, but I was also setting a poor example for our kids in the process. By the time we pulled out of the driveway, we had moved on and were able to have a fun and relaxing trip. But that embarrassing memory serves as a permanent prompt to be a more intentional server of my spouse. Please don’t misunderstand—this is an ongoing work of sanctification in my life. My flesh is selfish and, at times, lazy. Serving others, including my spouse, does not come naturally to me, and it is something I have to work on continuously. I regularly pray for a servant’s heart, keeping in mind the command to “serve one another in love.” (Galatians 5:13, NLT). And while I am to serve those God places in my path, I must remember my first mission of service is to my spouse and my children. I thank God for both His Spirit who sanctifies and for the opportunities to serve the three people whom I love the most. For certainly these opportunities exist in abundance... even when on vacation.
