Choice Magazine - Summer2009

Choice Magazine Publisher: CNB Publishing Editors: Crash & Burn

Writers & Reporters: Crash Override AKA Corey D. Bayless AcidBurn AKA Erica Lopez Xicano 073 AKA Rick Reggie T. The Frosted Flake Junior Writers: Princess AKA Mariah Hailey Bayless Fonkey Monkey AKA Cynthia Marie Lopez Artists: Crash & Burn Layout & Page Designs: Crash & Burn

IN AFFILIATION WITH CRASH-N-BURN INC.

Is She a Druggie……12

…...23

crash, you can’t say that…..15 Mirrors…...26

Oh, my Lucky Stars; It’s a Negro…..29 Cooking on the Grill….32 You Were Calm Last Night........34

Welcome…..7 Meet the Writers….9 Index (for a complete list of all items featured)….107

The Mark..….36 Sacrifices…..50 Good Help is Hard to Find……..88

Life is Simple……..99 All These Tokyos…....104 …...70

Special Interview:

Bella Valentine…….76 Crash Course Advice Column….18 The Ultimate Trilogy War…..62 She is Choice...…..66 Crash-n-Burn’s Official Hot List…….70 What Really Grinds My Gears…..73 Chemical of the Month…..74 Phat Flicks….102

…...16, 40

CHOICE Magazine Here we are in our fourth issue and things couldn't be better. We are having a blast living life the way it should be. I can only hope you all are enjoying reading it as much as we are enjoying writing it.

We have changed a few things up in this issue; there have been some things on our mind that we just had to unload... I hope you still find it enjoyable and for those of you we are talking to, we hope you learn something. As we promised you in the beginning when we published the first issue, we bring you the whole truth and nothing but the complete and utter truth. Just remember while reading, we love you all.

Be excellent to each other, -Crash

DISCLAIMER: All people, places, and topics included in Choice Magazine are in no way affiliated with Choice Magazine except where otherwise noted. All articles and stories in Choice Magazine are based on our writer’s research and opinions.

MEET THE WRITERS

CRASH OVERRIDE: Aspiring Psychologist, Innovative Entrepreneur, & Jedi-Like Superdad

THE FROSTED FLAKE: Loving Mother & Household Expert

ACIDBURN: Biochemist & Partner in a Growing Empire

REGGIE T.: Fashion Aficionado, Myspace Legend & Comedic Extraordinaire

XICANO 073: Wannabe Writer (Part Time), Political Nerd (Full Time), Clueless Father (Not Enough Time)

In case you’re stupid, I’m Reggie T. I’m a celebrity in my own world.

My world is where I am, and most likely, where you’re not– so, objecting to this would be pointless.

I'm disabled and take a lot of prescribed medication. I have pain 24 hours a day. Along with nausea, weakness, weight loss, and other symptoms of my health problems. I have been ridiculed and called anorexic, speed freak, heroin addict, every name you can think of (and some made up) to suggest I'm a bad person. Not only have I heard this from so called friends and strangers, but even family and doctors & nurses. The pain this causes and has caused my children (the most important!) and me is so bad it's hard to describe. From the time I was 16 years old this has been going on. People - adults and children can be cruel and ugly and hurt someone more than can be imagined. This kind of life - being kept alive with medication - is not something someone chooses. I have to take medication all day long. I have to get injections. And the hospital - I know everybody it's my home away from home! No, it's not a lifestyle choice. I've had nurses & doctors withhold medicine because they don't know me or cannot understand or believe someone could be this sick or in this much pain. I've always hid my sickness as much as possible I don't want pity! This is the life I was given and Thank you God for my life & my blessings! I have 3 beautiful children that I wasn't supposed to be able to have. I've been so close to death so many times doctors have given up so many times that some we have run into asked when I died - not knowing it was me. And the doctors I have now listen to me - and believe me! And my home nurse "Cathy Locklear" is the best nurse in the world! I love her so much. My main doctors - Dr. Huyen Nguyen and Dr. Clinton D. Polhamus & his nurse Katy are part of my family. Everyone that works with them are loving, kind, and wonderful to me. They have saved my life so many times and I know they love me. Northeast Methodist of San Antonio, Texas, I thank everyone. And mostly I thank my kids Corey, Jason, Kyla, Erica, and all my grandchildren for giving me the will and strength and 1st to God. I praise and Worship you! Without God, my Mom (while she was here) and my family and the blessings of my awesome medical team I couldn't have come this far!

My Love & Blessings to All!

I know people who… will lie will cheat will steal will steal tips from their coworkers will overcharge you on your credit card will lie to your face if it makes life easier will say they can’t, but they really mean they won’t will cut you off in traffic on purpose will spread rumors behind your back will convince you to buy something you don’t need will treat their children like property will treat their children like slaves will self-medicate will throw their trash on the road will waste paper will sell illegal drugs will sell their prescription drugs will ignore their phone because it’s you will use the bathroom without washing their hands will break the windows on your car just for the thrill are hypocrites, enough said will let you drop something and not pick it up will make health code violations will ride your bumper and you’re the only one on the road will rummage your desk drawers when you're not around will drink your soda/water/milk from the breakroom will finish the coffee and not make another will justify being lazy will justify being a thief will use family like a doormat will call family only when they need something will use their cell phone on the bus/train/elevator will serve you decaf and tell you it’s regular will make a store return for a profit will come to your house and raid your fridge will come to your house and finish your bottle of whiskey reserve will have stopped reading this once I called them out ...and those are just the things I know about.

how the hell do we get started lets keep it simple crash, you cant say that i constantly hear censorship sucks i shout in revere this country is going to hell can we see what the future holds is it the children it should be but is it well a good question i am posing but one without an answer why is there no answer sadly no one cares stoners are dumb teenagers are morons hippies great but misguided at times anarchists can be fun but no future they have politicians are not perfect theyre humans i am told activists typically are phonies though their causes may be just support them support them support if you must expect nothing to come of it as i said theyre full of __ now i censor myself to please the losers that read as they can not handle the things in this creed now i could go on for hours but to an end i must get homos are multiplying but how lesbians think they have power now rebellious i think not simply a sad display of the common corruption of the youth today feminists keep singing their anthems their men bashing politic clashing never taking heed to the headlines they read im so quick to dismiss youre all pretty useless

piggish men they make me sick disgusting bastards their female counter part the dirty hoochies poor children without role models where the hope lies no one truly knows tattoos can be colorful but art is impermanent families suck but we hold them dear loss & loneliness is what we fear money is irrelevant but vital status is important but only to thyself I have bashed on you all yet love for you i truly do feel as you are my brothers sisters friends and companions without you life is incomplete for greater than you i could not compete i surround myself with greatness yet find myself alone at times finish finish finish right now they scream they scream the arrogant overweight the bureaucratic cow im smart sexy dare i say stupendous i say what i want whenever i want i'm everything you can love & everything you can hate you take me as i am or don't take me at all im shaken off all the haters showin love to all my niggas follow the example i set to victory i will lead my lifes an open book all you need is to read

Whiskey Girls all started in 2005 in Laconia, New Hampshire while Jen was attending Bike Week. Jen was at the Smokehouse with a bunch of old biker betties trading shots of whiskey.

They called her whiskey girl the whole night. The name stuck in her head so she wrote it on a napkin. When she got home she went to the state and registered the name not knowing what she was going to do with it but knowing that something big had been started.

Jen has been in the promotional industry for over nine years as a model, volunteer and manager and saw an opportunity for a company to offer the services of beautiful, intelligent women to promote the goods and services of companies, and help raise monies for non-profit organizations all over the U.S. Now, Jen has a promotional staffing company owned and run by well educated beautiful women.

Our organization strategizes, markets and coordinates fundraising events for worthwhile 501(c) (3) charities. All Whiskey Girl models volunteer their time to help at these non profit events.

Any events that are not non profit 100% of the profit proceeds towards the non profit organizations we support. The majority of our models are every day working women that never got the opportunity to seek their dreams of being models. We promote women empowerment and encourage women, showing that there is beauty beyond looks. Whiskey Girls are well educated and stand tall, they add that personal touch to every event.

To contribute towards the non profits we raise monies for please just go to whiskeygirls.net 100% donations proceed towards the non profit organizations we support.

Crash, Hey I need some help...haha Yep something I seldom say or refuse to. Okay let’s see.... Back in December'08 during the second week I saw my daughter for the first time in like a month. And when I did she had bruises all over her body and they had to be almost a week old. (she was 8 1/2months old) I took her to the hospital after I called the cops and they called DCFS. So DCFS gave me custodial custody of my daughter and her mom visits a month later. During their investigation they found out my baby mama's boyfriend was beating on my daughter and that she knew this and did nothing to prevent it. So they charged him with battery to a family member. WTF are you for real, and mind you this his 2nd time being arrested for beating on a child. So he ended up serving only 3 months in county jail which is fucked up because if that was me they would've slammed me with the book. Well they closed the DCFS case and left my daughter with me, and told me to give her mom over night visits. So we ended up splitting her during the week. This went on for like a month. Last week she took off with are daughter during her visit and moved to Tennessee, and I haven't heard from her since. I went to the cops, but they said they can't do anything because the judge didn't give me custodial custody, DCFS did.

They told me to go to court and try to get it from the judge. Now here’s the thing. I don't have any money. I don't have a job, I've been searching but been having no luck. And my background isn't helping me either. I've changed my life and life style the day my daughter was born...And If it was me that took my daughter outta state they would've charged me with kidnapping because in Illinois the mom has more rights then the dad I was told. I need help finding a pro bono lawyer to help me get my lil princess back home where she’s safe. I'd go search for her in TN but can't leave the state due to being on parole, and I don't get off until Sep26th'09...I don't know if you'd be able to help or not. But maybe you could get my story out there if you can't help me find a pro bono lawyer. I don't know let the world know that some single dads do care and we're not all pieces of shit that just donate sperm. I don't know...Just don't know what to do and trying to do the right thing...Sorry about this I guess I had to let this out.....Thank You, ~Lester My friend, Lester is in some serious need of help. Anyone out there who knows a lawyer that is willing to do some pro bono work to help out a father in need and an innocent little girl in an unsafe environment; please contact us or email Lester directly at mofromdachi@yahoo.com This is a serious situation and can’t be overlooked, so please anyone who can help in anyway, please let us know.

Thank you all for your help, -Crash cnbinc@gmail.com 512-297-1860

Calling all of you out there having problems in your relationships, Burn and I have been together for going on 8 years now and things are going great. We also work together running our own business and are doing quit well. Although it is not normally a good idea to work with your better half, sometimes it just takes the right person. We are thoroughly excited to be able to share the secrets to our success with any of you out there. There are many keys to keeping a successful relationship. Don’t hesitate to ask any question because no matter how small you think the issue may be; it is normally the small issues that create the largest problems. Let us guide you to the answer you seek.

Crash What do you think of someone that you in love with not calling since sat until now. Plus the brother just told me that nothing is wrong with him and i was worried about him.

--M. Girl, I totally feel you. Truthfully, I am not your typical guy, but blowing you off for nearly a week is truly uncool.

You and this guy are serious right?

If so, it is important to be aware of what is going on each other's life. You need to be on the same page. Not knowing your relationship personally, I can't really judge to a certainty, but I think it is important that you communicate with him your thoughts on the issue and make sure there is a reason to be upset and insure that he is aware of your feelings so hopefully you won't have this problem again.

Good luck & Much Love, -Crash

If nothing is wrong with you . What is so hard calling and let me know what is going on? —M. I agree. There really is no excuse for not just giving you a ring. When in a relationship, communication is so important, and at the very least he should be talking to you just to let you know what's going on.

I really hope it all works out for you.

Cnb publishing cnbinc@gmail.com

Attn: Crash Course P.O. Box 14347 Austin, TX 78761

Scientists today are all over the world and speak a potpourri of languages. To simplify things, most things of universal importance are given an abbreviation or common name. The name can be derived from any aspect of the discovery, but is ultimately selected by the discoverer/s. One case in point is the HeLa cells used in biological research.

The uses for these cells are infinite, and that just happens to be their inherent trait; they are infinitely reproducing. They are derived from cancerous tissue and can grow more aggressively than the average cancer driven growth. Even a normal cell culture, made up of cells that are treated and nourished to survive outside of the body, will eventually stop replicating. These cells can be replicated an unlimited number of times and have been grown in an unbroken lineage since their isolation. They have been shared across the world in order for scientists to perform research on living human cells. Some of the most prominent research has been investigation of cancer therapies. Researchers have also used the immortality of these cells to do other genetic testing.

I think the greatest benefit affecting the most people is the vaccines that have been developed.

The vaccine for polio was released only a few short years after the availability of HeLa cells. It’s hard to imagine where scientific research would be without the propagation of HeLa cells.

Original sources decreed the name of the cells came from abbreviating Helen Lane; of whom the cells were derived. However, it was later revealed that the woman whose excruciating and eventually fatal cancer that produced these cells was actually named Henrietta Lacks. The same abbreviation would have applied, but scientists claimed they wanted to preserve the anonymity of the patient. Others saw the manipulation of the name as a way to hide the fact that they used the cells without permission and without the knowledge of the patient’s family. Even more controversial is the lack of credit where credit should be due to the woman who has made possible so much research. It also happened at a time, 1951, in which the fact that Henrietta Lacks was an African-American woman could have also been a reason to conceal the identity of the donor. It was years before the Lacks family became aware the fate of those cancer cells taken from Henrietta.

A great benefit has emerged from the controversy surrounding the Lacks family and the use of Henrietta’s cells. There is an increased emphasis on bioethics and informed consent when it comes to patients. At that time, the doctors had not done anything to break the law or any medical rules by taking samples from Henrietta Lacks’ tumor; her husband even gave them consent but had no knowledge of what they might do with them.

Henrietta and her family have since been recognized for there

By AcidBurn contributions to medical discovery.

I am feelin’ Britney & all you haters just make her fans love her more. I am not a big Britney fan, but the girl can blow….

The reason for my shoutout to Britney is simple. She has been through a lot; some of which was her own doing, but either way she has overcome all of her misfortune (cough…cough…K-Fed). She is focused and has her eye on the prize. She is looking to blow her career back up. She has gotten back in the gym and toned herself up. She got back in the lab with a pen and paper with some great support from a good producer & mixer and is right on track.

She has been working really hard and I commend her for that.

Her first new single after her comeback was an excellent comeback anthem, ‘Womanizer.’ That song is just excellent on many levels. As a comeback single, it rings loud and proud of her power & conviction and utter determination to stand alone and strong. She constantly attacks the horrible men in her man-hating anthem, yet there are other overtones in the content in which she confronts anyone who questions her which is both awesome and pretty damn intelligent. Many will overlook the genius put into this song as the true message is buried beneath the man bashing.

The words, “You say I’m crazy; I got your crazy,” I think many take that as something she is saying to the men (the ‘womanizers’), but I believe they’d be wrong. She’s calling out all those people that have referred to her as crazy for the past few years. That’s right. Get at ‘em, girl!!!

The video is just ridonkulous. I mean Damn! The video is Hot! The choreography is tight.

Britney’s many looks is just hot and shows the levels of growth & maturation that she is going through; not to mention they are hot. Then once again, a beautifully strategic slap in the face to the media, she poses and dances fully nude in the video; showing off all she’s got. By posing nude, she is shedding all her inhibitions and showing her total lack of fear at this point. Whatever the media or anyone else will throw at her is not going to stifle her. Also, there has been a lot of talk for a long time about her losing her looks and letting herself go…well, she was not scared to show off what she’s got.

Girl, “you got me going, you’re oh so charming!”

Britney, mad props, girl! You keep doing what you’re doing. You on your way, girl! They think you crazy; you show ‘em crazy!

Much Love, -Crash

FIRST OFF I GOTTA THANK CRASH FOR GIVIN ME THE CANVAS TO DO THIS…AND BURN FOR KEEP’IN HIM STRAIGHT….IT’S A CNB PUBLISHING & PENS 2 POETS COLLABORATION, LEADIN THE UNCENSORED VOICE OF THE NEXT GENERATION, LIKE CHE GUEVARA WON’T STOP UNTIL I’M DEAD, OR IT’S ONE UNIFIED NATION….

POET (VOICE OF THE PROLETARIAN’S SON) MIRRORS I SAT AT MY CHAIR, NEXT TO THE WINDOW, SLOWLY BREATHING THE AIR, MY THOUGHTS, WE’RE THE ONLY COMPANY THERE, NEIGHBOR’S KID WAS RUNNING THE STREET, CARELESS N FREE, IN THE BLAZING TEXAS HEAT, THAT’S WHEN IT HIT ME, THE CONVICTIONS OF THE WORLD I COULD SEE, CHILDREN OF SIERRA LEONE, SURVIVIN ALONE, PARENTS MURDERED N GONE, DIAMONDS, WERE THE REASON IT WAS GOING ON, VIOLENTLY KILLING THEIR DREAMS, STEALING THE HOPE, WISH I COULD TELL’ EM THEY’RE FREE, BUT THEY’RE SLAVES TO A CRUELITY ROPE, THE REFLECTIONS OF MAN, CUTTIN THEIR LEGS, CUTTIN THEIR ARMS, SHOW’IN THE EVIL, CAPABLE OF THE BARBARIC HAND, RAPE’IN THE LITTLE GIRLS, ON THIS HISTORIC LAND, THE LOOK IN THEIR EYES, SO MUCH FEAR, HOW DO THEY STAND SO STRONG, I BEG THAT THE ENDING IS NEAR, WHY DOES THEIR PAIN CONTINUE ON SO LONG, REST OF US AFRAID TO LOOK N THE MIRRORS, HOW CAN A WORLD BE SO F*#KED UP N WRONG…

CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY, THESE WARRIORS GOTTA DIE, EVEN FELL TO MY KNEES, WHEN I SAID I NEVER WOULD, BEG THE LORD TO TELL ME WHY, BUT EVEN IF HE COULD, ALL HE DID WAS CRY….

ANOTHER DAY GOES BY, 32 ALIVE, DON’T KNOW IT’S THEIR LAST GOODBYE, WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE A NATION CRY, ONE’S A MENTAL RECK, OUTCAST, DETERMINE HIS SOLUTION, BRING PAIN TO THE STUDENTS OF VIRIGINA TECH, TOO MANY YOUNG ADULTS, WE’RE STEADY LOSING, GETTING HARDER FOR THE NEIGHBORS TO CHECK, CAUSE THAN THE MIRRORS, WE GOTTA START USE’IN, WHEN WE COVER THE SHADES, HOW MANY YOUNG HEARTS WE GONNA KEEP BRUISIN, FEBURARY THE 14, DAY OF BIG HEARTS, LOVERS N ROMANCE, OVERSHADOWED BY TERROR N DEATH’S DANCE, 17 NEVER GIVEN A CHANCE, NOW YOU GOT THE NATION PEEK’IN A GLANCE, GUNMAN GOIN WILD IN ILLINIOS, ALL THESE YOUNG ADULTS, MISTAKE’IN REAL AMMUNITION FOR TOYS, WHERE’S THE LOVE GONE, ANGER GOTS US LIVING ALL WRONG, TOO MANY HANDS CARESSING A TRIGGER, CHOIR SINGING ANOTHER LOVED ONE’S SONG, CAUSE VIOLENCE, IS THE ONLY THING THAT WE FIGURE

Grab your pads and pencils children (I say children referring to the typical American); you’s about to get schooled. I intend on learning you something today or at least giving it a hell of a shot as some of you are unteachable ‘cause you’re stubborn.

Now I hate to have to say this… well let me rephrase that; I hate the fact that it must be said at all, but I’m gonna let you know.

Everyone is all uppity and chipper as hell about the recent presidential election in which a black man won…Now let me clarify that in an effort to prove my point in this article, he will be only referred to as the black man (no disrespect towards Obama himself is intended).

Now let’s get down to it. The fact that I refer to him as the black man, some of you will in turn take this offensive (well to those of you, please keep reading) and others will cheer (you are the masses in which I refer to).

The fact that a black man was elected is not a reason to cheer as it only goes to show you just how far we have yet to come. Now many of you are scratching your heads right now, so I want you to pay close attention and take great notes children.

First, let’s clarify that we are voting for our next president… yes children, The President of The United States of America…that is what we are voting for… I see

some puzzled looks on your faces. Obviously, some of you had forgotten or maybe you just got so wrapped up in the media hype that it was just so deluded that it wasn’t entirely clear what the election was for. Well, I heard, you heard, …Hell, we all heard how this was such a revolutionary election because first we had a ‘women’ in the race, then a ‘black man,’ and at some point there was actually speculation of a ‘black woman.’ And everyone said, Wow! We have come so far!

These poor, sad, blindly lead automatons; how could they be fooled so easily? …well I’ll tell you (make sure to write this down). IT’S ON T.V.! & people are stupid! People tend to believe anything they see on T.V. This proves that we have yet to come very far otherwise we would not have to point this out. When you have to say things like, “the country has come so far; we now have a woman in the presidential race” or “things have finally changed, a black man is finally in office,” it is more and more clear that we haven’t changed as much as we thought we had. ‘We’ as in Americans like to live the lie that we are all equal. I know that was a little harsh, but it’s true.

Don’t dismiss what I’m saying because it’s not what you want to hear. Write these things down, study it, sleep on it, and wake up and make a difference. That’s right, I said it. Make a difference…change things. The sad truth is that the reason things have yet to change to the level at which they need to be is because too many people just dismiss this issue as if it has already been solved. It has not.

There are so many people out there that believe Obama is our savior and others think that he is the Antichrist…

Come on, people; he is neither. He is our president and I don’t say that lightly.

I am happy for Obama, and I hope he does his job as well as many people seem to think he will. I personally did not vote for him, nor would I. With that being said, he is our president and for all of our sake, I wish him the best. Not because he is black or because he is a man, because …he is our president. If he fails, we all suffer.

I want to finish by saying that we have made some accomplishments in the past in regards to race and sex, but it has been a long time since a REAL barrier has been broken. I believe it is about time that we actually knock down a new wall rather than continuing to live the lie that sounds good in a sound bite.

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"You were calm tonight. You didn't do any drugs?"

Flawless asked me that last night. Some of you thought there was something wrong with me last night; there wasn't. I just figured I should start letting you guys see another side of Reggie T. I'm, often, seen getting in someone's face, in a clouded car, fighting, throwing up, or chasing a spotlight with "look at me, look at me" written all over my demeanor. In seeing me as this loose cannon all the time, it's hard to take me serious as the person I truly am or just a person at all. Don't go on thinkin' I'm not crazy, I promise I am; I just feel it shouldn't always be put on display to the public.

-Reggie T.

So I had this idea and believe me many will not like it, but this has got to be said. I thought about putting it as my topic for ‘What Really Grinds My Gears,’ but frankly it needed more attention.

I have a lot of friends and as I have said before, I hold them near and dear to my heart yet hold them to a very high standard at the same time. I hold them to this standard for several reasons. First and foremost, it is because I know just how damn awesome they truly are, and I see no reason for these people to settle when they deserve great things. Now with that being said this conversation could go in so many directions, but I am going to try to stay on point and get this expressed clearly.

Several of my guy friends have this thing about dating little girls, and I don’t get it.

These guys are mid to late 20s and for some reason feel the need to date these 16 & 17 year old little girls and claim its okay. It’s not okay. Not only should they not be dating these girls because they are girls and these men should be after women, but what are they looking for in high school girls. I could never see myself with a high school girl, so that’s typically my first question. Sadly enough their answer is that these girls aren’t in school…some of them dropped out…some of them have GEDs…some of them just don’t go to school anymore. I got to hit you guys with some honesty…What the Hell kind of answer is that? Believe me if you didn’t realize it already, that is not a selling point. So now, not only are you guys dating these little high school girls, but they’re uneducated girls as well. Hell of a catch guys.

Really!?

You guys could do better. See, the thing is that many of you take that as an insult on your girl, but you shouldn’t. You need to be mature enough to take these things in stride and take them for what they’re worth not just face value. It’s not an insult on your girl to claim she is not on your level when she is still a stupid kid and you are an adult. Rather it would be an insult on you to assume that you are on the same level. You have had far more life experience, been in hopefully at least one serious relationship in your life (she has not…no high school relationship is serious no matter what they say), and have established yourself a life. These young girls are still finding themselves.

Another thing that bothers me about the entire situation is the gullibility of these guys.

The idea that this will amount to ‘the real thing’, a long term relationship is highly unlikely.

Now, I am not saying that it can’t happen because it happens all the time, but most people aren’t gullible enough to believe it when they go into it. The majority of people in the dating world don’t go into any relationship believing that it is ‘forever’ because they know better; you’ve got to give it time. Young people don’t think that way. When you are a kid in school, you think your little sweetheart will be your little sweetheart forever…they won’t even continue to be that person forever. You’ve changed since then, I’ve changed since then,

so why the hell do you think now dating a young girl that she will never change? Is she really that much of a cardboard cutout robot that she will never have any real personality and never have any real thoughts or emotions? Now many of you are taking that to offense, but the reality is that if she is a genuine person which I assume you believe she is or you wouldn’t waste your time unless…(well let’s not get into the idea that you are only after one thing and won’t admit it)…if she really is a real person, she will inevitably change at some point.

Everyone does. You on the other hand may not ever change because you are already grown, but that’s not to say you won’t change. So back to my point, it is unrealistic to believe that in the beginning, that she is the one, but maybe after time she could develop into the one. So stop fooling yourselves and just be honest with yourselves.

One more question, I have that is just boggling my mind…”What the hell does she want with you?” You know, these young girls going after you older men…there have to be reasons. Now as I stated before, my friends are awesome, but that’s my opinion, not some little girl’s. Why would a little girl want this guy with kids, a job, a car, money, a stable life, ….wait a minute, have I just stumbled upon what they’re after? Maybe I have or maybe not.

Some of these girls are just damaged goods. Truly. Especially since some of them aren’t in school and they are doing nothing with their life. Maybe that’s why they are seeking this older man. They need a father figure, someone to protect them, someone to hold them and let them know everything is going to be okay….or maybe they just want to rebel against daddy, the whole, “I’ll show daddy” complex. That’s possible as well.

Truthfully, as much as none of you guys want to believe it or even hear it for that matter. I have just ran down many scenarios and possibilities. Truth be told I could go on for hours, but I won’t. You must accept the idea that there is no guarantee that any relationship will last when you first go into it. Things change from the friendship you had when you go into a relationship (a lot of times for the better but some for the worse). Things change again when you reach the live-together-stage (everyone thinks they won’t but they always do; it just takes time). These changes happen in all relationships with adults. You people are blinding yourself to the fact that there are even more changes when you are dealing with high school girls. Don’t any of you remember your high school sweetheart? Is she the same person she was back then? Of course not! And I know many of you will try to say, that girl is just crazy or we are still good friends. It doesn’t matter what you say because the fact is that she has changed and so will these girls. It may be for the better or the worse (that is all opinion), but she may no longer be into you or you may no longer be into her.

You men need to grow up and date some women; there are some good ones left out there. Give these little girls the chance they deserve…a chance to be a young stupid kid just like we were and grow into the woman they want to be.

I’m done… …for now.

This, merely a tribute to the sadly overlooked; …allow me to start at the beginning. I was chillin’ one Friday night with Burn, Princess, and my homegirl, Gloria. Gloria, not having seen me in a while, was curious to the basic nature of the magazine. She asked me to please explain what the magazine was about. And this is how it got started. We were sitting back enjoying some delicious chow at Jim’s Restaurant down in Oak Hill…Oh let me tell you those were some tasty burgers. I hadn’t been there in a while because it is so far out of my way, and lately I have been so busy with work and school. If you haven’t been there, you have really got to get down there.

Now it is not some fancy dining establishment…it’s better. Some of the coolest servers in town are right there and nobody can cook like these guys. Sorry, I got distracted by the taste of the charbroiled burger that is still lingering on the tip of my tongue. Damn, that was a good burger. Much love to mi primos, Everisto & Johnny.

(Focus Crash, Focus!) So we were there just hanging out and catching up on old times when we got to talking about the magazine. As I begun to explain that we tried to put a little of everything in the magazine, Gloria exclaimed, “Oh Yeah!” She mentioned a few things, but at the top of her list was toe socks. As she said that, I was shocked that somehow after all this time toe socks have been overlooked. We sat back and finished off our food and hung out with the awesome servers; Jerile, Wes, & Gloria. Then we took off and headed home where I had to sit down, start pounding away at the keys, and show some love to my girl, Gloria for reminding me of what we were missing and write a tribute to the sadly overlooked yet wickedly awesome toe socks. Any of you, who have not experienced a kick ass pair of rainbow toe socks, get up and walk away from the keyboard, head out to your nearest Target and pick up a pair; you are truly missing out. Everyone should have at least one pair.

Photo Provided by crash-n-burn inc.

Photographer and artist, Worm Carnevale, is highly regarded for his breathtaking and eye catching photographs and works of art. Worm’s photography ranges from unique high fashion and fine art photos to product and commercial photography. His works are best known for their extreme use of color and overly exaggerated and dream-like themes. Worm’s photography can be found in numerous printed publications and throughout the internet. He’s currently working with Rive Magazine (rivemagazine.com), an internet based fashion magazine. For more of Worm's photographs and artwork you can visit his website at: www.wormc.com or check out his myspace at: www.wormphotography.com

IN YOUR SATORI MIND, YOU PAINT THE CANVAS, OF A WORLD SO BEAUTIFUL AN UNDEFINE, YOU CARRY YOUR BRUSH, IT EXPANDS THE WEIGHT OF YOUR LINE, IT’S UNTAINTED, TO THE DRUNKEN CLUTTER OF WHINE, THE SHADOW AND LIGHT, TOGETHER THEY BIND, THERE’ RE NO ELEMENTS, TO A CORRUPTION OF TIME, YOU CARELESSLY CARESS THE EDGE, FREEING YOUR EXPRESSION, AS BEAUTIFULLY AS THE BIRDS, SPRINGING FROM THEIR LEDGE, YOU’VE DROWNED EVERY PERSON TO AN ORGANIC SMILE, THE VIBRANT OF YOUR STROKE, HAS LEFT NO BLEMISHED TILE, EVENLY THE BRUSH SPREADS ITS FILE, YOU HAVE POURED YOUR RED, BUT IRONICALLY, THE PICTURE DANGLES ABOVE YOUR DEATH BED, WHERE IS TIME, WHEN YOU WHISPER TO MY EAR, THAT YOU ARE FINE, WHERE IS TIME, WHEN YOU COURT ME, WITH YOUR ELEGANT KISS, WHERE IS TIME, WHEN WE ARE LOST, IN OUR INTIMATE BLISS, WHERE IS TIME, WHEN YOU TAUNT ME, WITH YOUR SAVORY TASTE, WHERE IS TIME, WHEN ALL IS FORGOTTEN, EVEN OUR SINFUL WASTE, YOU PAINT ME THE PICTURE, OF A WORLD SO FINE, BUT I HAVE LOST YOU, CIRCUMSTANCES OF TIME….

by AcidBurn (Actually it is a turn OF phrase, and all that means is ‘a way of saying something.’)

This reminds me of all the idioms, old wives’ tales, and other cliched phrases that are repeated over and over again through out life. Many of us dismiss them as such; “oh, it’s just something you say…that never really happens, right?”

Well, in fact, they are all too often very true and they sneak up on you because you don’t address them and give them the attention needed to avoid the fallout.

My quote of the day is:

“Wake Up on the Wrong Side of the Bed” This phrase gets tossed around so easily ever since its debut. It comes out when someone is trying to be sarcastic toward someone who has been a jerk to them. It also comes out when someone tries to make an excuse for just being an a**hole to someone else.

I hate it when people try to justify being offensive or just simply a jerk. I say, own up to your bad attitude. If it truly is just temporary, take the time to apologize or at least make it known that you are not always grumpy or rude.

The origin of the phrase is probably based on a few different superstitions, but none really had anything to do with your mood and more to do with luck. It was once believed that there was a wrong side of the bed, and that was the left side. This phrase is almost directly related to the phrase: put your right foot forward. There has always been a negative connotation with the left vs. the right. Many superstitions have arisen with this aspect, such as: put you right shoe on first, let your right foot on the floor before the left when arising from bed, and ultimately, get out of bed on the right side of the bed. This is referring to the right side not the left side, as opposed to the correct side and not the incorrect side.

Although it is true, and it has happened to all of us, we end up in a bad mood for no reason at all. Sometimes it is funny to blame it on something as silly as which side of the bed you get out from. I say just don't overuse it because you might just be an a**hole; or you should consider getting a new bed.

In today’s society, it is sometimes a rarity to see children with ambition as many of the parents aren’t really parents. Too many parents these days neglect their children and brush them off as a burden rather than the joy that they truly are. These parents stifle their children’s creativity and their overall drive.

Ignoring those who have mocked her, my exceptionally awesome daughter, Mariah, is determined to be a great success. She is like a sponge; she soaks up everything around her. Like a lot of little children, she has huge dreams of having several jobs with several children…She is going to be a baby doctor, a rock star, a mommy, and believe me, the list goes on. She is now 10 years old and that dream is still alive to her while many of her friends have given up long ago because of the lack of support from their friends, family, and the society itself. Mariah is determined.

She has family and friends who keep telling her that she can’t do things. Her own mother sadly falls into that category of people that tell her she can’t be these things.

She is frequently told that she cannot sing and can’t dance and that she can’t have all these jobs. Who’s to say what she will or won’t be anything she says she will. Even her own family ragging on her has yet to stifle her determination.

I wish I could say that that was my doing, but the credit lies in Mariah’s hands.

I know that I have had an influence in her life along with Erica, Grandma, Papa, Reggie, and a handful of others. (of course these are not the only people that have influenced her life, but these are the ones that have strongly influenced her to strive for greatness) But most of the credit rightfully belongs to her as she is the one fighting for what she wants. Not only is she my Princess, she is my little soldier.

Mariah watches me work…on the magazine…on advertising… answering emails…and all the other things that I do; believe me the list goes on, and she sees it all. Aside from Burn, Mariah is the only one who ever sees all the work that goes into my business, and she loves it and thinks it is so cool.

She is constantly asking if she can help, and she does when she can. She helps with advertising ideas, writes in the magazine, and helps package things sometimes. I try not to let her help too much because she is a little girl, and I feel that a childhood should not be wasted but rather embraced, but I do

Do you even know what that means?

A life of broken, lost, and forgotten dreams.

You think you can, but you can't relate Your comparisons fail to my current state.

I know you can understand stresses & struggles sadness, depression, failure, and life befuddled.

What you can't is the daily despair blanketed under the disposition I wear.

My woes, troubles, fatigue, & inner sorrows seen will effect my children's tomorrows.

Felt and heard would break the stability I fight to attain with grace and agility.

My day starts with readying 3 by 7 Clothes, hair-do's, lunches; my day's barely rev'n.

As I drive in the morning traffic rush I anticipate my work & my energy is crushed.

Knowing I'll be greeted with expectations and goals My deals & interactions scrutinized ten fold.

Language barriers, time, knowledge, & skills Challenged every second; discredited at will.

10 hours at work means 2 at home 2 hours filled with chores, homework, & groans.

Just barely enough time for it all Laundry, dinner, showers, bedtimes stalled.

Only to wake up each day and repeat.

Sure I know this is no award winning feat.

But what you don't understand is This picture I'm painting does not live.

What I've described is nothing but monotony.

I've yet to explain how life's put a stop on me.

While hiding the frown sounds like no big deal...

I live a silent murder that's all too real.

I've long since given up a life belonging to me.

It started with having children all alone you see.

What does it mean to have a choice?

That what you can't grasp, I have no voice.

I can't cry--because my children will too Can't yell--because it's what I'll teach them to do.

My every action brings their reaction.

And that's a burden you don't understand.

So is living for them with their futures in hand.

I've given up finding a love to get me through when faith's not enough.

Love don't live here no more.

Scares my children when it knocks at my door.

Threatens their time, their world, their zone.

Can't find it & nurture it when you can't leave home.

So who holds me tight when I'm all alone?

Who gives me strength when my cover is blown?

Who let's me put down my daily charade?

Tells me its okay to acknowledge my rainy parade...

Who tells me they got it if I need to leave?

Who tells me relax, it's okay to breathe?

Whose body lies next to mine?

Where is my life friend, my life line?

I wake up, work, live, and let go every day to a life not mine.

I sacrifice all of my being because of an unmeasurable love & devotion An uncompariable joy that takes away any notion of a whimper or whine of discontent.

This paper the only place I'll vent.

Don't complain to me about the life you've been sliced.

Because giving up my whole self is my every day sacrifice.

Always trust your instincts. Any great business man or woman would tell you it is important to know that there are no bad ideas, just bad executions. There are a million and one new ideas every day; you’ve got to grab a hold of yours and make it happen. One of the key elements is to sit back, contemplate, and actually envision your idea before you try to execute it, but don’t forget to make it truly your idea. If you make your vision something that is you, it will have personality, style, and above all it will be original. Never be scared to take a risk or you will never achieve greatness.

Some of the greatest ideas came about by fluke; just remember penicillin.

Music Appreciation by AcidBurn Panic! at the Disco & P!NK That little line with a dot under it really gave them their edge when they first emerged.

Now as they have grown as artists, that symbol has been given less emphasis. The disco quartet has even opted to leave the exclamation point out of the name all together.

Panic! at the Disco were formed in 2004 when they were only in high school. They were soon after discovered and put together their first album in 2005. The sales and the popularity of the singles ramped up slowly, but they eventually achieved platinum sales and several hits on the charts. They were edgy and drew an interesting band of followers. People tried to classify their music and style as this or that, but Panic refused to be labeled and resisted as best that they could. Their latest album, released in 2008, has drawn influence from great artists of the past. It has an obviously different sound than their debut album and has drawn some criticism from the fans of the first album.

In my opinion, the boys of Panic at the Disco have grown into men. They have matured a lot since their first album and it shows through their music. They are not caught up in labels and their looks; they just have fun and are themselves. They do not make music to please only their fans; they make music that pleases them. Those who cannot appreciate change and growth, and yet still quality music, do not deserve to call themselves a fan.

They are still creating awesome music, albeit different from their early work, and I expect it to continue being awesome.

P!nk first debuted in 2000 and her early singles earned high spots on the charts. She has since released a total of five studio albums on a major label and has gained worldwide fame and success. She has worked with a wide variety of producers, writers, and musicians. She has earned several music award nominations and went home with a few. She is not afraid to express her opinions in her music and get involved with causes in which she believes. She has really explored the depths of her talent and passions.

In my opinion, P!nk is a raw, in your face, sultry, artist with an ‘I don't care’ attitude. She has changed her look a dozen times and she does not do it for the attention or to be trendy. She is just her; her looks and her music change as she grows.

In an effort not to lump them together, I wanted to provide the details about them individually. However, I believe that both of these artists have a lot in common that makes them appealing as musicians to me. They deserve more credit and attention then they have received so far. They both show growth and maturity over time through their music and performances. They are absolutely in control of how their music gets played and where. They have been on tours in public venues, but still have maintained a less than stardom fame. They put a lot of work into their shows; both artists having very intricate and fun shows when on stage. They are definitely stars to me. They produce quality music with realistic themes and messages, but they are not afraid to have fun, too.

The Ultimate Trilogy War IT’S TIME AMERICA GETS AN ANSWER

By CRASH OVERRIDE

The long asked question is now going to get some more attention as in my mind it has yet to be truly answered. What is the greatest movie trilogy of all time? Now I could honestly sit back and argue the details of different movies and why I believe what I believe. But I would much rather hear from you, America. Please write in and make your choice. It’s time that America gets heard. Make it heard here and now.

The Original Star Wars Trilogy………..58% The Lord of the Rings………………….26% Back to the Future……………………..5% Bourne Trilogy…………………………5% The Godfather………………………….5% It is not too late...these are the percentages as of now, but if you haven’t voted yet, then these numbers are incomplete. Get your vote in today.

CNB Publishing P.O. Box 14347 Austin, TX 78761

cnbinc@gmail.com www.myspace.com/cnbpublishing

Also, please feel free to write in with other possible trilogies that you feel have been overlooked and deserve recognition and they will placed on the ballot in upcoming issues so others can vote for those as well. We also welcome comments and arguments in regards to your choice and some of those may end up published as well to help win votes in your favor, so please don’t wait any longer; we are eager to hear from you.

We will post the percentages in each issue as they evolve and grow in numbers… ...Let’s see how it plays out.

1 large cottage cheese 1 small package of lime Jello (or your choice) 1 tub Cool Whip 1/4 to 1/2 cup cheese (cheddar and longhorn) 1 can of fruit (in heart syrup), drain Fold all ingredients except cheese and Cool Whip. Then gently fold the cheese and Cool Whip in.

Refrigerate and serve.

This is very cool & refreshing and really great with Bar-B-Que, or light lunch or dinner in the summer.

P.S. You can substitute different canned fruits and cheese. Make sure the fruit is drained and I like them in heavy syrup the best. The kids won't ever know cottage cheese is in there - neither will the guys!

(HA! HA!)

We are proud to bring to you our Summer finalist of 2009 in the “She Is Choice� competition. She is a very determined, hard working girl; married with children , she still finds a way to get her education and run multiple businesses with her husband. We present to you, Lorie Varner.

I feel that I would be the Choice person for you. I am 30 years young. I have four kids and a part time job. Kids age range from 2yr to 17yr. I am also going back to school. I take care of everything.

Me and my husband have two businesses.

I am currently pursuing my modeling career, since I stopped to be a mom. I like to play tennis, have a night out with the girls, take my kids to do everything possible, I sing and dance a little. I have a love for all animals. I believe that I am the total package.

The thing is that I sometimes have a bad mouth. This has been a horrible habit of mine since I was a teenager. Now trying to evolve past that primitive form of communication, sometimes those around me will question my motives. First and foremost, I have a daughter which I try to never ever say a foul word around although I sometimes slip up. So the idea is that if I never use this language, there is no room for error, no possible slip, and no mistakes. Also I view foul words as a lower form of communication. When I tell others it’s for my daughter’s sake, they although not all in total agreement, concede that I am doing something worthy. On the other hand, when explaining that I see it as a less than educated form of communication, they are far too quick to argue. They are too blinded by the fact that it seems to be a common line in the media, movies, and other places to the point they’re dismissive. I think that it is true on many levels that it shows an element of a lack of education in those who typically use such foul language. I do not condemn those who use it around me as long as it’s not used around my daughter nor do I try to preach at them to correct their mouth. It is everyone’s own choice in life to be taken in what ever light or manner they choose to carry themselves. People are free to sound as stupid or uneducated as the so choose.

Being a business man myself am aware that it is a highly unprofessional way to speak. I don’t use foul language in my business nor when I am around certain groups of people; my friends at church, friends in Phi Theta Kappa, or with professors. All these people are educated in some way or another and don’t need foul language in order to convey their thoughts or opinions. I also am trying to control my mouth around my girl as I find it disrespectful to use such language around my queen. Now that is even harder as she is the one who sees all my bad habits. I get that many tend to disagree with my thoughts, but I am used to being a little bit of an outsider. The truth is whether anyone wants to hear it or not is that if you have such an extensive vocabulary and a well educated mind you can easily think of far better ways to convey things without this lower form of communication.

Do yourself a favor by respecting not only those around you but yourself as well by choosing your words more carefully.

Crash & Burn’s Official

Hot List Now there are many magazines that have Hot & Not lists, but this one is different. Just so you know, we focus on the HOT and not so much on the not. All else is left up to your own sentiment. Everyday in America, we glorify people for their beauty but sometimes people are over looked or just not given enough credit.

Kaley Cuoco – Playing the drums, riding horses, bowling, and getting dirty are just a few things that this beautiful and amazing girl spends her free time doing. Kaley, one of the hottest girls alive began her career at the age of 6. She is an amazing professional woman who makes her own way in life. She is extremely smart, graduating at the age of 16. She has continued to wow people everyday with her accomplishments. She displays her fun side and plays down her intelligence in her performance on ‘Big Bang Theory’. She definitely deserves far more recognition than she gets.

We got nothing but love for you, girl!

Fred Durst – Fred is the man…he is who he is and won’t change who he is for no one.

He has had his differences with different people for his egoism, but that is just Fred being Fred. He never hesitates to show love to those who deserve it…his friends, playas, and fellow musicians. Back in the day Limp laid down a phat track on 3 Dollar Bill in which Fred showed love to Jonathan Davis, Chino, and many others he felt deserved props. In many interviews he has spent ample time singing others’ praises as well as stroking his own ego. It is true that he is an egomaniac, but he backs it up and never forgets to show love to others. Keep doin’ what you doin’ playa! Never change for no one.

Smith & Wesson 500 Magnum – The Smith & Wesson 500 Magnum, ladies & gentlemen…Of course it needed an introduction. This powerhouse is 18 inches long and weighs a whopping 5 pounds. It has less recoil than the .44 Magnum because of the compressor at the tip of the barrel. It is the biggest and most powerful handgun commercially available and just plain sexy as hell. All of the gun hating people, just need to wrap their hands around this big bad monster, and they’ll be turned on so fast…believe me, they’ll never be the same again.

Tiffany Amber Theissan – Tiffany Amber Theissan…Wow!

Is there really any way I can put into words this girl’s hotness? From ‘Charles in Charge’ to “Married with Children’ to ‘Blossom’, Tiffany was no stranger to TV sitcoms, but she got her big start as Kelly Kapowski in “Saved by the Bell’. The hot cheerleader was number one in every guy’s heart back then. Later she stepped up her game and showed off naughty side in ‘Beverly Hills, 90210’ as Valerie. Later on ‘Fast Lane’ she demanded respect and commanded her authority over Facinelli & Bellamy.

There was nothing about that that wasn’t hot! She has been in so many other things, sitcoms, movies; she has even started directing and producing. There’s nothing she can’t do. Tiffany, you are utterly amazing and we can’t wait to see what you do next.

MICHELLE OBAMA My beef is more with the people that love her than her herself. There is nothing wrong with loving people. I love everybody or at least I try. The thing that bothers me is that people will commend her for stuff she doesn’t do or things she is supposed to do. People say all the time how great of a lady she is because she helps Barack. Before the election, I heard so many women say that they are leaning towards voting for Obama because of how him and his wife are so close and sweet to each other. I heard so many say, “he hugs his wife, and we need that in a president.”

Really?!? Are you kidding me? What is with you people. A brilliant man once said, “I love black people, but I hate niggas….Niggas always want credit for sh*t they supposed to do;” that man’s name was Chris Rock! It is just as true today as it was when he said it. She is his wife. They are supposed to treat each other nice and support each other in their goals and careers. What the hell? Why must we reward people for doing the things they are supposed to do? You people need to stop this ridiculous nonsense and give credit where it’s due.

FAKE—CHRISTIANS I am a Christian, and I really don’t like all these people who fake it.

They go to church because it seems like the right thing to do. They are just going through the motions. Even worse, there are many people I know that go simply to say, “I go to church.” That is worse than just not going. You are making a mockery of our faith and making it harder and harder for others to minister. It is our job as Christians to minister to those around us. Unfortunately, in light of all these fakers, many of us spend far too much time defending ourselves and our faith that we lose valuable time to minister. There are friends that I have tried to minister to, but it always starts the same way; I have to explain why they should even listen to what I have to say. All you fakers; it doesn’t make you a better person to say you’re a Christian; it just makes you a worse Christian to lie about your faith.

We Want Renewable Energy Sources Now!!!

Sincerely, Crash-n-Burn Inc

by

AcidBurn

Everyday you come in contact with chemicals that you’ve never heard of and some that you can’t pronounce. Each issue will feature a commonly used chemical or chemicals found in food and beverages, cleaners, and cosmetics. I can tell you a little bit about the chemical itself and what it is used for in an average person’s life.

I’d like to introduce, Cyanocobalamin. Or, better known as Vitamin B12, or simply B12. This is only one of the forms of B12 vitamin family but is the one most commonly used by humans. This vitamin is essential at all stages of human life for growth, cell reproduction, DNA synthesis, myelin sheath synthesis for nerves, and the production of red blood cells.

The major source of this vitamin is in food derived from an animal. This includes meat & meat products, milk products, and eggs. Vitamin B12 is not, however, found in food derived from plants.

Absorption of the vitamin occurs in the intestines and is dependent on the presence of other factors such as calcium. Deficiencies of this vitamin can lead to anemia, and long term deficiencies can neurological damage. For those suffering from a deficiency, they can receive supplements by injection, orally, or through a patch.

C63H88CoN14O14P Cyanocobalamin

We have had the privilege to interview the beautiful and talented Bella Valentine. She is an intelligent woman with lots of drive and ambition and someone we are truly grateful to call a friend.

How long have you been modeling, and what accomplishments have you made thus far?

I’ve been in the modeling industry on and off for the past 10 years and I’ve been published in magazines such as Shot!, Zoo, and Ultimate Grappling. I have also appeared on numerous websites, calendars, catalogs and commercials.

Just a few short months ago, you were competing in 11 different modeling contests simultaneously. How difficult is it to manage all of these at once?

It’s hard! Some of them turned out being fake contests which was a very big disappointment to me and my fans. The ones in which I’m enrolled in right now are all legit: they offer either cash prizes or publication to the winner. That’s why is so important for me to participate in online contests and have people vote for me. My fans are actively helping me to achieve more goals in my modeling career. As of right now I’m enrolled in 4 different contests and starting tomorrow it will be 5 (I’m a Maxim’s Hometown Hotties contestant). I will be keeping it down to that number because it’s much easier to manage.

Which titles have you held throughout your modeling career? (contests you’ve won, etc.)

The bad thing about online contests is that it takes a long time to win a title. Most of them run for an entire year, some of them even longer. As of today I am a finalist for World’s Most Beautiful Woman which is supposed to be made into a TV show within the next couple of years. I was also the 2nd runner up for Ms Knockout Colorado which was an “in person” beauty contest and I won the title of Miss Simpatia for Un Volto per l’Estate which was an Italian beauty contest.

If you could pin point, what would you say would be your proudest moment?

Winning the scholarship that allowed me to come as an exchange student to the United States and later on winning a full ride to the Kansas City Art Institute thanks to my paintings.

What is keeping you busy these days?

My website http://www.BellaValentine.com. I have hired some new web-designers and we are in the process of giving the site a makeover.

Who have been your idols or role models? Where do you get your inspiration?

I don’t really have an idol but I look up to all other successful glamour models, especially the ones that own their own websites, and glamour photographers as well. There is much to be learned from all of them.

What can you say to the young women out there who have dreams of becoming a model one day?

There is so much that I could share! The one thing that I wish someone would have told me when I first started out is: be wary of exclusive contracts! The agency/photographer has nothing in it to lose but those contracts could very well prevent you from getting paid work and even freeze your career.

Could you say what your favorite scent would be?

J’Adore by Christian Dior.

What did you do before you were a model?

What was your first job?

My first job was as a waitress at my dad’s hotel. After that I have worked as a live-in nanny, housekeeper, cook, staff salsa dancer, flight attendant, ballroom teacher, foreign languages tutor, and passion consultant (not necessarily in that order).

Name: Bella Valentine Birthplace: Florence, Italy Height: 5’10” Favorite color: red

What are your long term goals?

To travel to as many countries as possible, buy a new house and a new car. Eventually I would also like to turn my site into a multi-girl site but I have to buy a camera and learn photography first.

As of recently you started an online public journal. What motivated you to start this journal and how is it going thus far?

The journal is a feature that I would like to add to the members’ area on http://www.BellaValentine.com . Since I haven’t kept a journal in the past 10 years, I first wanted to make sure that I was gonna be able to find the time to write in it on a regular basis. If you are curious you can read it at http://bellavalentine.livejournal.com .

Photo on the left Photographer: David Shaughnessy

Do you enjoy eating out Italian or do you prefer to cook for yourself?

That really depends. What most Americans consider Italian food has nothing to do with Italian food. However I must say that I have found a local restaurant where they make pizza better then in Italy! As long as I get to pick which Italian restaurant to go to I enjoy both: going out and cooking myself.

What is your favorite treat?

Ice cream!

Can you say something sexy in Italian?

Sei bono da morire.

So what does it mean?

(To a guy) You are super hot!

Are there any last words you would like to leave your fans with?

Make sure to check out my official website http:// www.BellaValentine.com . I love getting feedback from you guys, so if there’s something that you would like me to add to the site, or if you think that I should change something, please let me know! Also, starting on April 6th, I will be a contestant in Maxim’s Hometown Hotties. I don’t know the link yet, but please look for Bella Valentine and vote for me. Being featured in Maxim would be a dream come true! And to all those of you that have been voting for me: THANK YOU! It really makes a difference!

Bella, I want to tell you that this has truly been a pleasure, and I look forward to seeing all the new things you are getting involved with.

Thank you for allowing us to conduct this interview, and good luck to you in all you do. You deserve all the success.

Interview conducted by Crash Override

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(Brelan, you inspired this)

Look, don't even try to let anyone read you or anyone about sportin' fake jewelry, 'cause Reggie T. is here to back anybody up.

For me, it ain't nothin'; especially, accessories! I use to wear real jewelry when I was younger, but I found that I can't keep up with anything. Either my sh*t got lost or stolen, and I'm a true believer that nothing lasts forever. I'm not going to spend double or triple for something that's going to be gone and forgotten in months. It doesn't matter how much what I'm wearing was; well, not to me- I won't remember it when it's lost. What matters is that it's cute, eye-catching, I'm wearing it well, and had fun in it! Whether it's from Toy Joy or Kay Jewelers, don't let anybody tell you a motherF*#KING thing about it. They're probably just jealous. Just know- it doesn't matter how much the sparkle was; it sparkles, so mission accomplished. It's only about appearance. Nothing you wear determines your worth; and on another note: people get more ahead by being fake than real, but that's another story...catch ya later.

P.S. If anyone hates on your gotti, big, fake, gold or silver colored dookie chaintell them to kiss Reggie T.'s a** with nice, soft, firm lips.

as i pondered from a distance as i gazed upon her from afar she was there to save me a constant reminder that i am the true czar of a queen i am in need one truly beautiful indeed more gorgeous than i had expected much more than drop dead but more than beauty i am after more than i sought would i soon get as she was something special something i could never forget this is the one i must have although shes quick to resist patience i must attain and continue to persist she is the one i constantly spoke while my advances she would constantly revoke never to give up this i make my vow on my knees before her all to witness me bow oh Erica my dear queen i speak now and every word i truly do mean you are the one for me without you im not the same the worlds constant insanity with you seems only tame i love you i love you now knowing what i must do continue my efforts in proving these words true

It's really very hard being an independent person like I am having to admit that you need help with daily life. I'm a person who likes and always have taking care of others. Finally after 31 years of being disabled, I had to accept help, the doctor ordered home health care nurse and a provider who helps with everyday routine. Take me to the doctor's, pharmacy, grocery shopping, household work, meals, personal care, and so on. They set up my nursing care and hired a provider. You know it's very scary and intimidating to have someone you don't know some in and take over - that's sometimes what it feels like.

Being disabled is hard to accept anyway for some people, to have to have someone to do things that you love to do. As in my case, I love and always have being a housewife, mommy, cooking, cleaning, being a grandma, and I love to work. I love taking care of people. It's hard enough to realize I can't work anymore. Then besides the emotional and mental part of acceptance, you never know what kind of person will be in your home during your most vulnerable times, weak, ill and sometimes out of your control with sickness. I have several life threatening illnesses but my mind works. But there's some out there that have trouble with their mind are they are elderly and they're too scared or can't stick up for theirself.

There really isn't much to do to get hired. You basically fill out an application and they find a client for you and you start work. There's really no training.

I have only gone through a few but it's really scary! My first provider was wonderful.

She made sure I ate, cleaned my little apartment, kept me company. But I had to go in the hospital. She had to get another client because I was in about 6 weeks. Then the next one she came in always worried about getting her clothes dirty and didn't know how to clean around the house (mind you very little apartment, 2 rooms & a bath). Then she started bringing her sick 2 year old. I have a very low immunity because of my health. I can't be around ssickness. All she did was watch her child. #3 She wanted to control everything, including me! I was scared of her. She yelled at me. If I went in the bathroom she barged in. I was scared, she was yelling at me in my face so I went in the bathroom to cry, (I didn't want her to see me cry) she barged in and I try to shut the door she pushed against it and knock me down! I was scared! I got the phone called the company to get help.

She got in my face and I was so scared. She had her hands on her hips - she was a kinda big girl - bent over me a couple inches from my face while I'm trying to tell Brenda at the office I need help. About that time (after about 20 min.) my son Jason came to the door. She started saying I was flipping out, Jason knew better he could see my fear - he got the phone Brenda said kick her out!

And she left! It took me a couple of days to relax and this kind of upset is not good for

anyone especially ill! After this there was one that wanted to take off whenever without notice, she finally left and was never seen or heard from.

She didn't work when she was there anyway.

After the physical abuse my youngest son wanted to do it. He had a new baby and new apartment with his girl. It was great for a while but when they had problems it was affecting his work. I mean I'm his mom I love him but I still needed someone to help take care of me. He got a better paying job so then came "Falon" she took an hour out of my 5 1/2 daily to watch her soap "All My Children," and gradually there was more TV and nothing else. She didn't do anything for me. No cleaning she complained when I had to go to the doctor's (she missed TV). My son, Jason, came back after a few months. I was so happy. But it's not always very easy with family. When he did his work it was great, I taught him growing up so he knows my ways. When it's good it's great - but when it's bad and he slacks off or takes his job for granted it's terrible - things are more personal and family sometimes takes more advantage than strangers. Too many feelings are involved - it's more complicated.

My kids are everything to me! They are my life. How can you (meaning me) fire my son? I don't want to hurt him, and when he's good it's great. I always put my kids first. He's my "baby." But my health, I can't deal with this stress I can't keep missing doctors, doing with grocery shopping, pharmacy, and when I'm weak someone helping me. I not made in a way to hurt my son, but protect him. But really am I helping him, or me? Or if not him will I get someone worse!?

Having to have provider service is not as easy to adjust to as it seems.

So be kind and if someone you love has this service make sure to talk to them, be very watchful because it's hard to know sometimes we won't talk for the fear of worse treatment.

And if you're one of us (disabled) Speak Up about it. I know it's hard believe me, I know it's scary. But if I can do it so can you.

I want everyone to be safe and as happy as possible. I write this with much love and respect and my prayers always. Everyone deserves happiness and a peaceful home no matter who you are.

I don’t wanna grow up This is the one section written for kids by kids Take a moment and view our Junior Writers Division and see just what children are capable of with the right motivation. We have an exclusive section in which our Junior Writers get their stories and opinions out there in the public.

If you would like to see your child’s art work or stories published, please feel free to send them in and they just might appear in an upcoming issue.

CNB Publishing Attn: I don’t wanna grow up P.O. Box 14347 Austin, TX 78761

Woooooooooooooh! I screamed. I am at my favorite place to go, Fiesta Texas!

I am on my favorite ride in Fiesta Texas. I am here because my aunt Sheava told me the people in the family were going to Fiesta Texas. I asked if I could go. Sheava told me to go ask my mom. My mom told me I could go with them.

My favorite ride is, the Tornado! I was so scared to get on the ride. I was scared because I was going to be sideways on the ride. I hit myself and it hurt me. I got off the ride and felt dizzy. We had a problem before we got on the ride.

My Nana was with my baby cousin named Raina and could not go with us on the fun ride. On the ride was water like a waterfall. It is a water ride. Two water falls hit each other at the bottom of the ride. The two waterfalls connected and the water hit me.

That is lots of reasons why The Tornado is my favorite ride.

Dear Moms, If you’re reading this it means you’re in the kids section. I’m writing this letter to say Happy Mothers day. All kids appreciate what you do for us and how great you are. You give us everything we need, all kids love their moms because you’re nice & caring. We love you so much. We want you with us now because we love you.

Love, Fonkey Monkey P.S. This letter was dedicated to my mom, Melissa.

First get ramen noodles and they have to be roast chicken flavor. Next crunch um until they are like so little. Then open the package and pull out the package of flavor. Then put the package of flavor on the counter like Flavor Flav. Then get a bowl and dump the ramen in the bowl. Then put some water, not too much, in the bowl and put it in the microwave for 4 minutes. Then put the flavor like Flavor Flav in the bowl and mix it up. Finally eat it.

That’s how to make the Mariah Noodles!

First grab the hotdog buns and put them on the counter. Next grab the hotdogs and put them on the counter. Then get some water in a pan. Then boil it. Put the hotdogs in it after its done boiling. Then leave the hotdogs in there until they get soft and warm. Then get the hotdogs out and put them in a bun. Then put whatever you want, ketchup, relish, mustard on your hotdog. Finally put the hotdog on the plate and eat it.

That’s how to make the M-Dog!

WOOWOOWOOWOW! I went up and down. I’m at the wave pool. The wave pool is at Fiesta Texas. I’m going to tell you all about the fun wave pool.

I wanted to be in a pool. My aunt Sheava told me there were two kinds of pools.

I said “Where are the two pools that I want to be in.” She said “You’ll see.” I said “Ok.” We went to a wave pool. We went up and down. I felt dizzy after the ride.

It is the most crazy thing to do to always love to go places. But its cool. I love new places to go with my Dad Corey. Coreys the best Dad ever to me. That is a good time to think about.

MMMMMMMH! I say to myself.

I’m at Friday’s, my favorite restaurant to be at. Let me tell you about it.

I did not even know where I was going. My dad told me that it was a surprise. When I saw a cool place I told my dad it’s Friday’s daddy. He said “Yeah.” We got in and joked around with the waiter. He told me to clean the dishes with him. I got ribs like it was a brand new tv for a kid. The waiter joked again about the ribs. We had fun with the funny, crazy waiter!

Just to let you know, you should go to Friday’s. Find the waiter that is funny. I saw a funny waiter. Go to Friday’s, you’ll have fun.

I have heard far too many people telling me lately that life is too complicated. You people need to get a grip on reality and get over yourselves. I have had some family members, close friends, and even some random acquaintances complain of how complicated things are.

Many things are complicated, but life is just not that difficult.

People need to get a better grasp on the idea that life is all that you make it. That is somewhat of a cliché, but it is oh so true.

It is only difficult if you make it out that way. Many don’t seem to realize that you have unlimited choices in life. You choose what you will or won’t do. You choose what your life amounts to. I am so sick of people saying that they have no choice. Sit back and take some serious stock in what your life is and what you’d like it to be; then make the necessary changes. Eliminate all the stress in your life; far too many claim to have stress when they don’t need to. They put this stress on themselves; they choose their jobs, friends, associates, etc. Life is a series of choices and you should all make the best of what you have; if you want more, get it!

Also try taking some enjoyment in the simple things in life.

Life is short… Life is sweet… Life is a stage…

Life is a lot of things…

But complicated is not one of them.

If any of you are having some troubles in life, or just want to talk, Burn & I run an advice column, so feel free to contact us anytime. Burn & I have been dating and running a business together for years now and are more than willing to help in any way we can.

Contact us via email, myspace, or mail in any letters:

Cnb publishing cnbinc@gmail.com Myspace.com/cnbpublishing

Attn: Crash Course P.O. Box 14347 Austin, TX 78761

I FIND MYSELF IN THOUGHT, WHEN TIME HAS NO SOUND, CONJUGATE WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN, HAD YOU NEVER STOPPED COMING AROUND, YOU WOULD PIERCE MY SKIN, WHEN I’D EXPOSE THAT OPEN WOUND, MY HEART WOULD QUICKLY PACE, WITH THAT DEADLY GAME WE PLAY, YOU KEPT MY VITALS OUT OF TUNE, I WAS A FOOL TO THINK IT LOVE, FOR YOU NEVER SHOWED APPRECIATION ANY WAY, I WOULD SELL MY ICE TO KEEP YOU NEAR, ALWAYS RISKED MY CHECK IN A GAME OF DICE, SO I’D NEVER LOSE YOU IN FEAR, WHEN I HAD YOU IN MY GRIP, I WOULD HOLD YOU TIGHT, WE WOULD LIE IN BED, JUST BEFORE OUR TRIP, I WOULD TIME IT RIGHT, JUST BEFORE YOUR KISS, LET LOOSE MY PALM AND RELEASE MY MIGHT, MY HEART AND MIND WERE ENTICED TO SLIP, I WAS SLAVE TO YOU, ALL THAT NIGHT, YOU WOULD TAKE ME FOR ALL I GOT, WHEN I THOUGHT I’D HAD YOU BEAT, YOU’D SEDUCE ME WITH ONE MORE SHOT, NOT SURE IF I WAS STRONG OR SAD, BUT IN YOUR ABSENCE, OFTEN WONDERED, IF YOU’RE THE GREATEST MISTAKE I NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAD, IN THESE TROUBLED DAYS I’D WISH YOU THERE, YOU WOULD STRIP MY SOUL, MY LIFE YOU’D DARE, YOU WERE MY BREATH, THE AIR WITH-IN, YOU WOULD TAUNT MY DEATH, IN THESE LONELY HOURS, I CRY OUT, FOR MY MISSING HEROIN…..

I AM NOT A ROBOT BUT I AM PROGRAMMED FROM CREATION. I WAS NOT TAUGHT HOW TO BE HUMAN. I WAS NOT TAUGHT THE HUNGER THAT I FEEL. I WAS NOT TAUGHT TO BLINK. I WAS NOT TAUGHT TO CRY. I WAS NOT TAUGHT TO SMILE. BUT I SMILE ON A DAILY BASIS; FROM THE DAY I AWOKE. I SPEAK THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE OF JOY. EVERY COUNTRY, EVERY CULTURE, EVERY LANGUAGE, THE SMILE IS AN EXPRESSION OF HAPPINESS. SHARE A SMILE. :-)

All these damn Tokyos, Japans, Londons, and Koreas! What is up with all these boys renaming themselves after countries and such? Stealing the last name of a mainstream celebrity to add to your first name is kind of cute.

As we know, I am Reggie T. Jolie with my Terry T. Carey; so, please, no shade.

How are you going to call yourself Japan and you look like Mexico? J.A.P.A.N.= Just Another Pretty A** Nigga, huh? ...Just another; period. Got a dark as midnight boy callin' himself London!

Why not Africa or Nigeria for ya dark a**? Gosh.

They killin' me!

-Reggie T. Jolie

INDEX: Topics: Business: Business 101……………………………53

Children: Betrayal…………………………………56 Dear Moms……………………………..93 Friday’s……………................................97 Heiress to an Empire………………….. 48 Mariah Noodles………………………...94 My Room Stays Messy……....................98 The M-Dog…………………..…………95 The Tornado at Fiesta Texas…………...92 The Wave Pool………………………....96

Creative Writing: Smile......................................................103

Education: History Lesson.........................................21 Turn a Phrase…………………………...46

Family Life: Betrayal…………………………………56 Cooking On the Grill – the Whole Meal…......................................32 Excess Baggage………………………...37 Good Help Is Hard to Find…………..…88 Heiress to an Empire………………...…48 History Lesson.........................................21 Life Is Simple…………..………............99

Fashion: Reggie T. On Fake Jewelry…………….85

Food: Cooking On the Grill – the Whole Meal…......................................32 Juicy Lip Smackin Chicken…………….22 Little Princess Cake…………………….44 Mariah Noodles………………………...94 NaNaw’s Fruity Summer Salad……...…63 The M-Dog…………………………..…95

Fun: Crash and Burn’s Official Hot List…….70 Overlooked..............................................39

Models: Bella Valentine: Interview………..…….76 Diana Leyton…….....2, 20, 28, 35, 52, 101 Reggie T…..11, 24, 34, 60, 68, 82, 85, 104 She is Choice………………..….............66

Parenting: Betrayal…………………………………56 Help Wanted………..........................…..17 Sacrifices.................................................48

Poetry: Crash, You Can’t Say That……….…….15 I know people………………………......13 Lost Pain................................................100 Mirrors.....................................................26 Sacrifices.................................................48 She Gave Me a Tooth Ache…………….86 The Mark……………………………….36 Time.........................................................45

Politics: Oh My Lucky Stars; It’s a Negro……....29 What Really Grinds My Gears………....73

Pop Culture: Bella Valentine: Interview……………...76 Gotta Give a Shoutout…….……............23 The Exclamation Point ……………..….61 Ultimate Trilogy War……………….….62

Psychology: Excess Baggage………………………...37 Life Is Simple…………………………..99 Lower Form of Communication……..…67 The Mark……………………………….36

Religion: What Really Grinds My Gears……..…..73

Science: Chemical of the Month............................74 History Lesson.........................................21

WOW!: All Those Tokyos………………….….104 Crash Course with Crash & Burn............18 Help Wanted………....................……....17 I know people…………………..……....13 I’m Reggie T……………………………11 Is She a Druggie………………………..12 Lower Form of Communication……..…67 Oh My Lucky Stars; It’s a Negro……....29 Overlooked..............................................39 Reggie T. On Fake Jewelry………….…85 Smile......................................................103 You Were Calm Last Night…………….34

From the pen of…

Acid Burn: Chemical of the Month............................74 I know people………………………......13 History Lesson.........................................21 Phat Flick...............................................102 Smile......................................................103 The Exclamation Point ……………..….61 The Mark……………………………….36 Turn a Phrase…………………………...46

Crash & Burn: Bella Valentine: Interview……………...76 Crash and Burn’s Official Hot List…….70 Crash Course with Crash & Burn............18 Help Wanted………....................……....17 Ultimate Trilogy War………….……….62

Crash Override: Betrayal…………………………………56 Business 101………................................53 Crash, You Can’t Say That……………..15 Excess Baggage………………………...37 Gotta Give a Shoutout……….................23 Heiress to an Empire……………...……48 Life Is Simple…………………………..99 Lower Form of Communication……..…67 Oh My Lucky Stars; It’s a Negro………29 Overlooked..............................................39 Phat Flick……………………………...102 She Gave Me a Tooth Ache…………….86 What Really Grinds My Gears…………73

Fonkey Monkey: Dear Moms……………………………..93

Princess: Friday’s……………................................97 Mariah Noodles………………………...94 My Room Stays Messy……....................98 The M-Dog…………………………..…95 The Tornado at Fiesta Texas………...…92 The Wave Pool………………………....96

Reggie T.: All These Tokyos……………………..104 I’m Reggie T……………………………11 Reggie T. On Fake Jewelry………….…85 You Were Calm Last Night…………….34

The Frosted Flake: Cooking On the Grill – the Whole Meal…......................................32 Good Help Is Hard to Find………..……88 Is She a Druggie………………………..12 Juicy Lip Smackin Chicken…………….22 Little Princess Cake…………………….44 NaNaw’s Fruity Summer Salad……...…63 Phat Flick...............................................102

Xicano 073: Phat Flick...............................................102

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