Cra ZE the farewell issue
issue 7 // volume thirty // may 2017
Table of Contents 01-02
contributors
05-06
blackstone meatball 07-08
gerda’s restaurant
09-10
california taco
11-14
great outdoors
15-16
earth to mendick
17-20
diy bleach shorts
21-22
summer playlist
23-24
film streams
25-26
title wave
27-28
summer calendar
03-04
ethiopian miracle
Letter From the Editors T
his past year on Craze has been the craziest yet. From rowdy sophmores to rookie freshmen, everyone one on staff has made a name for themselves. And now here we are, a photo editor and a first time editor, running the whole damn show. We’ve already hit a few bumps in the road, including the fact that as we’re writing this we’d yet to come up with an issue title. With the abrupt but expected departure of our beloved seniors we are left and expected to keep the spirit of Craze alive.
So, here goes nothing. We jumpstart our reign with this closing issue, exploring our surroundings to find new and cool stories, food, and places for us to show to you. As we sit here in the J-Room, looking at a half empty wall of dreams, we know that it is our dream to create a unique but traditionally Craze magazine. We hope our deep love and connection with Craze will help us to keep the fire of craze burning. Hey mama! We made it!
Contributors to the Issue
Emma Kopplin editor in chief
Anastasyia Petrosyan multi-media coordinator
Kyndall Goodwin editor in chief
Anne Stepanek design editor
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Isabella Tyler managing editor
Anna Greene photo editor
Julia Steiner copy editor
Nick Protzman managing editor
Kaelyn Mettler copy editor
Kendall Brekke staff
Vinny Nelson staff
Biruk Tewodros staff
Samantha Chesire staff
William Larson staff
Ella Paulson staff
Lydia Kasem staff
Sydney Barton staff
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feature // gemma bessemer
Miracle from Ethiopia the story of gemma bessmer story by anastasiya petrosyan, photo by kendall brekke, design by ella paulson
It’s strange to think about how everyone on the planet has their own background, mind, and life. We can never truly know who we’re talking to, even when the person is right in front of us. Everyone has a story to tell, some are so powerful that they change people’s lives. Gemma Bessmer’s story does just that. Freshman Gemma Bessmer was born in Shebedino, Ethiopia. But, she moved to the United States in 2011. While some children move to another country in search of a better life or a brighter future, Bessmer had no choice. She came in order to survive. “I was very sick and two of my family members had the same disease and they died from it. One of them was my father and my mother couldn’t take care of me anymore. I had a month left to live,” Bessmer said. “My mom said, ‘I’m not going to watch you die.’ She said she would give me up for adoption.” Along with Bessmer was her seven-year old sister, who came to USA with her when she was two years-old. Bessmer didn’t want to come but out of love for her sister, she did. “Someday we’re all going to be reunited but I was really depressed that I had to leave my family. I only spoke one language and I’m not one of those people who reaches out to other people. I was really nervous and depressed at the same time. I didn’t know what to do.” Bessmer said. Her family’s financial situation wasn’t stable. They didn’t have enough money for a cure, and they wouldn’t have a place to live if they sold
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their land. But on the other hand, if they didn’t sell it, it would mean death. Bessmer’s mother wanted to sell part of the land but someone made a point to give Bessmer up for adoption. Her mother was crushed and angry for not being able to raise her own children but saving her loved ones mattered more. Bessmer was homeschooled when she first came to America. She felt lonely and didn’t have many friends. It wasn’t until her adoptive mother sent her to Westside Middle School that she finally began coming out of her shell. “Communication is not my thing. Now it is, but before it wasn’t. I was so shy and I did not like to talk to people. I was always intimidated by the people around me. [Talking to other people] is just not my thing.” Bessmer said. Apart from meeting new people in school, Bessmer has an immensely big family which helps her feel even more “at home” in this country. There are 13 members of the family, three of which are students from other countries. Although Bessmer enjoys the vast company, it can get overwhelming at times. “They’re crazy. They have a big family and it’s loud sometimes but it can be great having a big family because there’s always people around you. It’s loud sometimes and I can’t handle being loud. It can be great but it also can be kind of not,” Bessmer said. Despite the fact that Ethiopia was full of sorrow and fear, Bessmer still misses her family and friends.
“I love my friend. She was my neighbor and we did everything together. My older sister and I were really close,” Bessmer said. Another one of the barriers of moving to another country is overcoming your fears and learning their language. For Bessmer, this was an easy process that took time due to her shy personality. “Language is one of the easiest things for me to learn. So it wasn’t really hard for me. When I came here first year, I didn’t speak at all. People thought I don’t like people but they didn’t know I didn’t speak English,” Bessmer said. Something that Bessmer noticed when coming here as a child is the difference in the behavior of people. The change wasn’t as easy in the beginning, but Bessmer and her sister have grown accustomed to it. “People [in Ethiopia] are so friendly. Everywhere you go, people know you. They always invite you inside even though you are a stranger from the street. They would make you food. Switching from my culture, to this culture… I assumed they might be similar, but no,” Bessmer said. Another difference that she has found while living here is the nutrition practices and food. In Bessmer’s observations, Ethiopian food is generally a lot healthier than United States. But it is sometimes hard to find food unless you live in the country, where food is more accessible. Mostly, people eat popcorn since it is such a common food there. Some Ethiopians have coffee three times a day, sometimes adding a little salt to it, depending on the different preferences throughout the country. If given the opportunity right now, Bessmer jump on the plane headed to her birthplace in the blink of an eye. No matter the dangers, she has no fear of going back to Ethiopia. “My mom and I were planning to go after high school graduation, but there are
several wars going on there and we don’t know when they will end. I’m still planning on going but I don’t think my mom is,” Bessmer said. These wars are one of the main reasons her family is hesitant to go to Africa. No one is safe as the majority of the nation is against the government. Bessmer’s own grandfather died during the war, attacked by a group called ‘‘Oromo’’. Along with her grandfather, they have taken the life of her mom’s uncles and aunts. Bessmer has always wanted to meet her relatives, but war has taken that possibility. “It’s complicated and sad, but you can’t change the past,” Bessmer said. Bessmer hasn’t been able to contact her birthmother since she left the country, making it years since she has spoken with her. It’s difficult for her being away from her family. They don’t have cellphones but even if they did, she wouldn’t have reached her. The government doesn’t allow communication between the birthparents and the child given up for adoption. “I haven’t talked to her in six years,” Bessmer said. This is part of the reason why Bessmer’s life has been challenging. The separation, loss and childhood trauma has left a burden-full imprint on her heart. “There’s a lot to explain about [life]. You can’t put it in one word because it’s like a train-wreck,” Bessmer said. Relating to her hardship, Bessemer is choosing a path she’s strong in– language. In the future, Bessmer hopes to become a translator in hopes for helping the society she came from, be less intimidating. This girl with a big dream is ready to take on the world and make a difference in something that she has known to help feel more welcome in a, sometimes scary, foreign country.
feature // blackstone
Cloudy with a chance of meatballs meatballs in blacktone story by nick protzman, photos by kendall brekke, design by lydia kasem, video by Anastasyia Petrosyan
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any restaurants aim to fill some sort of niche. Whether it be sub sandwiches or Chinese food, you can find a place that has you covered. However, Blackstone Meatball specializes where no other Omaha establishment does which is—well—meatballs. Located in the ever-growing Blackstone District, Blackstone Meatball (shortened to Meatball) is a fairly new restaurant that has received lots of praise. Needless to say, Craze decided to check it out. Walking into Meatball, you immediately notice the professional atmosphere. The detailed interior design lets you know right away that this is not some fast food joint. We were greeted by the waiters who all wore aprons made by Artifact, an Omaha business. This made it apparent that the owners of Meatball are interested in supporting other local businesses, something many consider very important. The menu covers one page and is organized like any other restaurant’s. Similar to a “build-your-own-pizza” section, you are given a step-by-step process for creating your main course. You can choose to have your meatballs in sliders, a sub, or a bowl. Then
you can decide what type of meatballs you want, as you couldn’t have a specialty meatball restaurant without a variety of options. Among the different types, there’s also a vegan option, made with mushroom and white bean. Finally you can pick your sauce. I decided to have a sub with classic pork/beef meatballs and spicy pork ragu sauce with a side of waffle fries. In a timely matter, our food was brought out with steam still rising from the dishes. Everything was presented very neatly, and nothing appeared to be simply thrown together. Taking my first bite, the sandwich did not fall apart and continued to do so throughout my meal, which cannot be said for other meatball subs I have had. The hoagie bun was toasted just the right amount which allowed the meatballs and sauce to not sink into the bun. The meatballs were what you would expect, but good nonetheless. The bill came out to a little below 15 dollars. Although somewhat pricey for one person, it makes sense considering the quality of the food and restaurant, as well as the location. With a cool atmosphere and food that easily overrides any Italian competitors, it’s worth giving Blackstone Meatball a try.
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feature // gerda’s
“I think [Gerda’s] is a gathering place for people, especially older folks who like the old-fashioned type food you can’t find anywhere else”
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A taste of germany in Nebraska gerda’s restaurant
story by julia steiner, photos by anna greene, design by lydia kasem
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here was something comforting in the air at Gerda’s Restaurant. Maybe it was the smell of the home-cooked German food and baked goods, or the festive European décor of the room. Perhaps it was the smiles we received as we walked through the door. Gerda’s Restaurant was founded in 1976 by German immigrant, Gerda Bailey. In the last decade she had moved to America with her husband, who was an American soldier. Before settling in Omaha, the Bailey’s lived in South Carolina, where Gerda learned to cook fried chicken. Her restaurant has a primarily German menu, with the obvious exception of that southern favorite. The most popular meals at the restaurant are the schnitzel dishes. Schnitzel is thin, tenderized pork that’s breaded and pan-fried. This entrée is often served with a creamy sauce and spätzle, a German egg and flour noodle. All of these dishes are cooked by Karl, Gerda’s son. Now 82, Gerda spends a lot of her time at the restaurant baking, managing the employees, trying to teach German, and keeping people well fed. For 21-year-old employee Kendall Panas, Gerda is like a grandmother. “[Gerda is] awesome to work for,” Panas said. “She’s really funny, really laid back, but she still expects us all to work hard.”
When the restaurant first opened its doors 40 years ago, Gerda was managing everything herself. “Gerda’s been working since she was ten years old; she started waiting tables,” Panas said. “All she’s known her whole life is working really hard, so we’re all expected to keep busy around here.” According to Panas, the staff is like family. “It’s a close-knit kind of team,” Panas said. There’s also profound connections between regular customers and staff. The restaurant is close to the heart of many in the community. “We’ve got customers that’ll sit around the counter and have been coming here for 30 years, and we have people that come here every single day,” Panas said. Gerda’s Restaurant also serves as a gathering place for people from Germany. The place is unique for its old-fashioned German food. While Gerda’s isn’t exactly hip or trendy, it’s reliable. People go there for good food and friendly faces. “I think [Gerda’s] is a gathering place for people, especially older folks who like the old-fashioned type food you can’t find anywhere else,” Panas said. “I think we provide that for people. A place to eat and remember.”
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feature // cali taco
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Mexican food with a twist california taco story by isabella tyler, photos by biruk tewodros, design by kaylee navarrette
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maha is no stranger to good food in unexpected parts of town. California Tacos and More (or Cali Taco) is located right next to Midtown Crossing on California Street. Though all of their food is extremely tasty, what they’re known for is their famous tacos. The tacos served at Cali Taco aren’t your everyday tacos. For example, their taco shells are fried, allowing for a puffier and more unique taco. Though it sounds like a strange concept for Mexican food, it works. Another thing that makes Cali Taco special is their tater tots (or MexiTaters) which are even more delicious when dipped in their homemade salsa. The atmosphere at Cali Taco is very upbeat. The staff is friendly and it’s apparent that the employees genuinely care about serving good, authentic, Mexican food. Most days during lunch
the restaurant is packed with students, but the lines are fast and getting in and out quickly usually isn’t a huge problem. Cali Taco has been featured on the TV show “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives” which attracts new customers to the restaurant all the time. With that specific episode playing on a loop throughout in the restaurant, it’s obvious that they’re proud of their establishment and want the public to know this. Which is completely justified, as the Mexican food at Cali taco isn’t something that you can get anywhere else in Omaha. So next time you find yourself by Midtown, take the time to find one of Omaha’s best kept secrets, Cali Taco. For lunch, dinner, or just a tater-tot pickme-up, the friendly staff and the modern twist on authentic Mexican food won’t leave you disappointed.
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feature // hiking places
The great outdoors hiking in and around Omaha story by sydney barton, photos by kyndall goodwin, design by emma kopplin
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ummer is approaching; the weather is getting warmer, the plants are bursting with life, and the days are growing longer. This calls for hiking in the great outdoors. There are many stereotypes regarding the Midwest as “corn and tractor-ville”, but no worries, there are plenty of options for excellent hikes. Some are harder to find, but definitely worth the time to explore. Let’s start with one of the more well-known hiking areas near Omaha. Fontenelle Forest, a 1,400-acre forest near Bellevue, is an admirable spot to go for a nice day trip with friends or family. This area features glorious hiking trails, surrounded by large trees, picnic facilities, children’s camps, the nature center, and a gift shop. The trail is a little over two miles, making it fit for all skill levels. It includes a river and diverse wildlifeincluding birds, deer, and various small animals. Another great place to go for some outdoor fun is Hummel Park, located in North Omaha near Ponca Hills. According to Adam Sasse, a North Omaha historian, this park
is roughly 202 acres and a Native American burial ground. The scenic hiking trails have an amazing view over the Missouri River Valley, and the park is known for its winding dirt roads and steep cliffs due to soil erosion. Children’s camps are available through most summer months, so kids can enjoy this remarkable place too. Neale Woods is the best place to go for a easy hike with the family. Operated by Fontenelle Forest, it is located in North Omaha, around ten miles away from the downtown area. The trails, similar to Hummel, feature the Missouri River Valley as well as vivacious prairies in their natural state. It is a well kept and a vibrant part of town to consider adventuring. There are plenty more areas to explore around Omaha, but these three locations won’t disappoint. Hiking is good for the soul and no one can go wrong with being in the great outdoors. It’s a great way to connect with your friends or family, technology free. Nature is an important part of our world, so take time to appreciate it!
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feature // hiking places
Hummel
Fontenelle
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Neale woods
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feature// mendick
Earth to Mendick environmental respect story by anastasiya petrosyan and julia steiner, photo by kendall brekke, design by samantha chesire
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ust as the sun is peaking over the horizon, science teacher, Marilynn Mendick, is leaving her home right outside of Valley Nebraska, to make her daily commute to school. Mendick lives outside of city limits, which means she doesn’t have access to city water. Instead, her family has a different septic system and a well. When they put water down the drain, it doesn’t get sent back to the city to be cleaned, and it just goes right into their yard. This cycle makes Mendick very aware of what substances she’s putting into the earth. Mendick’s lifestyle is due to her passion for environmental issues, which she incorporates both inside and outside of school. She is the sponsor of the new student-run Warrior Planet club, which currently consists of a 15 regularly active members. When students had come to her asking about starting a green club, Mendick was on board, with one exception. The club had to have a defined responsibility. “I said, I won’t sponsor you guys unless you have a mission. We’re not just gonna come here and meet. We’re gonna have a purpose,” Mendick said. So the students developed a mission statement to prove their purpose: “To raise awareness in our school about the environment, as well as providing a safe outlet for students to get involved and make a difference.” The club participates in a variety of environmental activities ranging from park clean-ups to repainting recycling bins around the school. The club is also to serve as a place for students to learn about the environment. “What I really like about the club besides that it is extremely student driven, is part of the mission is to provide a safe outlet for students who want to get involved in environmental issues,” Mendick said. “There’s not a lot of adults in my world that recycle or do things that are environmentally friendly. I’m an adult and I can stand strong and I’m not gonna fold to peer pressure.” The club is not only for those who want to talk about the planet, but to make a difference as well. Mendick stressed the significance of making
small changes everyday to benefit the world. Part of the goal of Warrior Planet is to get kids aware of these options, which may be as simple as bringing a reusable water bottle to school, as opposed to using plastic that pollutes the Earth. Becoming cognisant of these issues is the first step towards a better planet. One thing that Mendick wishes was different in her life is her carbon footprint and her impact on the environment transportation wise. “The toughest thing for me is because I live so far away, my carbon footprint is still pretty big because I’m driving a truck. It takes me about 20 minutes [to get to school],” Mendick said. Her family’s location forces them to be extremely aware of how they treat their environment. “I’m very cognisant of the phosphates that are in my laundry detergent, and the phosphates and nitrates that are in the fertilizers that I put in on the grass because if I put those in, it’s going percolate down into my well and into my well water,” Mendick said. Mendick and her family do not only make an effort to protect the environment in terms of water pollution, but with energy as well. They have a furnace but use a Passive Air Heat system instead, which consists of burning wood pellets and pumping warm air around the house. Her family is currently in the process of getting a wind turbine. “We’re trying to be as self-sustainable as we can possibly be with the energy that we use,” Mendick said. Mendick realizes that the number of people who truly care about the environment are small, but knows that small amount counts and hopes it continues to grow. “I just appreciate that we have young people in this building who know and understand that we as humans are damaging the earth, and even though there is a small number of us in this building that are likeminded, we still do everything that we can,” Mendick said. “Because we know that even the little things can make some big differences.”
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DIY // bleaached shorts
Boring to Bleached diy bleached shorts story by sammantha chesire, photos by kyndall goodwin, design by ella paulson
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e’re all tired of spending money on shorts .Trips to the mall to find the perfect shorts can be very time consuming and expensive. Worry no more, buying shorts is a
thing of the past. Here at Craze, we want to teach you how to make those “stone washed” dyed shorts that will make everyone wish they were as hot to trot as you.
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step 1
Cut the jeans into the length of short you want.
step 2 Destress your shorts (if wanted) take scissors and cut two small slits about and inch or two apart. Take seam ripper if have one and pull the pieces of fabric going side to side. Or if you don’t have seam ripper move blade of scissors side to side across patch of fabric to get exposed strings.
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DIY // bleaached shorts
step 3
step 4
Put bleach into the bowl and submerge the amount of shorts you wish to be bleached. (I chose to do half of them) Let them sit for about an hour, or until they are the desired color.
step 5
Washed out bleach as best as you can, if your are just bleaching them you can go ahead and wash and dry them.
Mix dye up in a bucket, follow the directions for the dye you bought. Let the shorts sit in the dye for the amount of time that is recommended.
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Take shorts out when they are the desired color, wash the extra dye out in the sink, them dry.
Enjoy your new shorts.
step 6
step 7
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playlist // nostalgic summer
Dog Days Playlist serving that nostalgic summer music story by samantha chesire, photo by emma kopplin, design by william larson
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hinking about summer, recall everything you love about the warm weather; driving with windows down, wind blowing through your hair to the point where you can barely see; wearing your favorite sunglasses, the ones that make you feel like a movie star. Chilling with the radio blasting nostalgic
summer jams from 2008, the songs you want playing on the intercom at your local pool, all in one convenient place. Those songs you were listening to back while suntanning, back when Silly Bandz and Heelys were still in style. The top 100 chart from summer 2008.
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Misery // Maroon 5 Ocean Avenue // Yellowcard Chelsea // Summer Set Check Yes Juliet // We The Kings I don’t want to be in love // Good Charlotte Tonight Tonight // Hot Chelle Rae Dani California // Red Hot Chili Peppers We Are Young // Fun
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feature // film streams
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A true love of Film film streams and dreams
story by isabella tyler, photos by anna greene, design by anne stepanek
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e’ve all been to the big name movie theaters of my peers. We watched “Citizen Kane”, what such as AMC or Marcus, and don’t get me some consider to be the best movie of all time. The wrong, those are great theaters that provide movie was long and sure, as a 7th grader I didn’t an optimal movie-going experience. The one understand everything that it focused on, but thing that those theaters don’t seem to capture, afterword when the movie was over and a Q and A however, is a genuine love of film. Film Streams is a was held. It just felt so special to me that all of the non-profit theater located downtown. Although it students in that room were just as passionate about only has two screens, the passion behind it is what film as I was. The staff was working hard to make makes it such a special place. sure that film nerds like us got the opportunities As a major film buff, it’s really cool for me to that would help us continue to be interested in the be able to go see movies in the theater that were world of film. released way before I was born. When Along with educating young people I was eleven years old, my favorite about film, Film Streams is also one “The passion at movie was “The Goonies” which of the only theaters to regularly show Films Streams was released in 1985. Obviously independent films (or films that have is easily I was sure that there would never not been picked up by a major studio). come a day where I would be able recognized when During Oscar season, they show all of to see see that movie in theater. the films and shorts nominated for best you realize Luckily for me, Film Streams picture. Another reason I believe Film just how much featured it as part of their monthly Streams cares so much about exposing they care about the public to independent filmmaking ‘Forever Young’ segment where they feature four or five family educating young is the fact that Alexander Payne has films from a wide range of decades. a lot to do with how the organization people about Ever since then, Film Streams has is run. Payne, though his movies are film.” been one of my favorite places to a much bigger deal now, is a director see movies in Omaha. who’s from Nebraska. His career took off The passion at Films Streams is easily after he started making independent films. Many recognized when you realize just how much they of his films such as “Election”, “Nebraska”, and the care about educating young people about film. upcoming “Downsizing” take place around various Film Streams regularly hosts film showings for parts of Nebraska. students where they can leave to watch a film at the So whether you’re a movie buff or not, check theater during the school day, and then engage in the show times at Film Streams next time you’re a discussion about the film afterword with either itching to see a movie. Not only are you supporting a director or expert on the topic that the film is a non-profit organization, but you’re supporting about. When I was in 7th grade I attended one of the passion of film as well. these showings with my EY coordinator and some
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interactive // books to read in summer
Title wave books to get you through the summer haze story by julia steiner, photo by kyndall goodwin, design by emma kopplin
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ithout the weight of schoolwork on your shoulders, this summer you’ll be free to lounge around and let your mind wander through the pages of a new favorite book. The purpose of this book list is not only to inspire you to take a break from Netflix this summer, but to allow you to discover new worlds. Whether or not you’ll be traveling or on a stay-cation this summer, books can be your passport—a cliché you’ve probably heard before, but it’s true. My favorite books are those in which the reader can walk away with knowledge, with new lenses to see the world through. Hopefully, within the pages of these books you discover stories that do just that. Wherever you spend your lazy summer days, whether it be by the poolside or in your bedroom, may these books be the perfect companion.
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THe Girls By: Emma Cline
Dandelion Wine By: Ray Bradbury
The alchemist By: Paulo Coelho
My lady Jane By: Cynthia Hand
A man called ove By: Fredrik Backman
And then there were none By: Agatha Christie
The nightingale By: Kristin Hannah 26
calendar // summer events
2017 Summer CalendAr craze knows what’s up story and design by Vinny Nelson
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ith all the fireworks, swimming, and late nights, it’s no doubt that summer is the best time of the year. However, if there’s nowhere to go summer can become a long 3 months. Especially with the endless muggy days and sunburns, plus the fact that there is nothing to do. Have no fear, Craze is here! We’ve created the ultimate summer calendar to fill your summer with non-stop fun. We hope it helps you explore Omaha and find new way to kill your summer boredom. monday
sunday
tuesday
wednesday 24
may
28 29 Farmer’s Mar- Memorial ket Sundays at Day Aksarben
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Shakespeare ride the bike on the Green trail on at Young Park Grover St.
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last day of recover from school finals
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go explore Hicock Nature Center
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summer solstice: days get shorter!
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KC and the Sunshine Band
go explore the Old Markert
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june
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Playing with Fire Music Festival held at Turner Park
saturday
friday
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Santa Lucia Italian Festival
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Junkstock Omaha
Sand in the City 2017
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fireworks at CWS Opeing Ceremony
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Concert at Memorial Park
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Alive with Pride Festival Food Truck War
sunday
monday
tuesday
thursday
wednesday
friday
saturday 1
Slide the City comes to Norfolk 2
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stock up fireworks for the 4th
hike Hummel Park...if you dare
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check out Film Streams
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grab a book from our reading list
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july
fight off the dogs days, jump your neighboorhood pool, and grab a slushy to enjoy
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first day back at Westside
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Stinson Park: The Confidentials 15
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$5 Tuesdays: walk the Aksarben Pedestrian Cinema Bridge
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august
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last day of summer!
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Indepedance Day
blast our summer playlist
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try out our diy camping 12
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Stinson Park: The 70's Band
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back to school shoping
Here at Craze, we pledge allegiance to keeping it real. To giving a voice to the unheard students To expressing emotions through art To being too loud To avoiding clichés like the plague To finding a reason to celebrate at all times To gaining life long friends Because what makes Craze unique is the family that forms with it, Making each issue the product of a lot of love. We hope after reading you: Want to explore the restaurants and shops of your town Have gained solace from a personal story that hits close to home Begin to look at the world around you differently Or maybe feel your school isn’t so bad after all And that’s just why we’re here, us cool and relatable teens. Because Craze helps you not care what others think But encourages you to think for yourself.