april
2021
thE ExpatS' challEngES
Sarah Brown SharES thE hurdlES ShE'S had to ovErcomE on hEr Expat journEy
travEl lESSonS with family lESSonS lEarnEd, trialEd tipS and grEat advicE
Expat Boarding SchoolS
thE EngliSh Education hElpS you chooSE thE right Boarding School for your child
The Family Travel issue
CONTENTS 3 World News Financial Overview 4 Cover Story Sarah Brown: The Expats’ Challenges 8 Feature The English Education: Finding the Best UK Boarding School for Your Expat Child 10 Feature Emily Rogers: 6 Tips for Families Moving Abroad 13 Feature A Guide to Dealing with the Growing Tiredness & Boredom of the New Normal 16 Health & Wellbeing 17 Unbeatable Ways to Create a Peaceful, Relaxed Workday 20 Feature Travel Lessons with My Family 24 Travel Tips for Travelling with Kids 27 Entertainment The Good Read 28 Beauty Hair rescue 30 Food Best Soup… Ever
COLOFON CEO and Founder:
Abdelhadi Rhiti Chief Editor:
Paula Rapsiewicz Art Direction and Lay-out:
Jacqueline Brugman
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welcome to all of our readers!
Whether you’re here for the first time, or already had the pleasure of reading some of our previous issues, I want to give you a warm welcome and thank you for supporting us here at United British Expats. We believe in restoring hope, uplifting our readers and contributing to the great awakening of the world. We’re here to remind you that no matter what challenges and obstacles you face, you are the creator of your own dreams, and you can achieve them by practising self-love, self-belief and trusting in yourself and your journey. I want to take the time to thank all of our wonderful contributors who are helping fulfill both your dreams, and ours. The stories we bring you are based on real life experience and struggles faced by our writers, to help you overcome yours. As the storm comes, our employees and contributors work their magic to restore faith and bring hope into our lives again.
United British Expats Team
WORLD NEWS FTSE100-The FTSE 100 index has performed well, all things considered, as the market looks to test the 7000 area once again. The last time we tested this area was early January this year which, on that occasion, witnessed a heavy sell-off. We have to go back to February last year to see this market trading comfortably above this 7000 level, but the mood in the UK seems to quite positive right now which a bit of a surprise. GBPEUR-The efficient rollout of the vaccine in the UK initially UK had a positive effect on the British Pound vs the Euro reaching a recent high of 1.18. Since then we have seen the Euro recover to the 1.1516 level. There is good support here so this currency pair looks now to be around fair value. The recent red on the chart does look a little scary, but considering the rise since the beginning of the year a correction was to be expected. GBPUSD-At the end of February the British Pound reached a multiyear high against the US Dollar at 1.4241. Since then, as President Biden has implemented the first of his policies, including unprecedented support for the US economy, the dollar as recovered some strength. Currently one British Pound will buy you around $1.3702. CRYPTO’s-2021 has truly been the year where Bitcoin established itself as a long term player. There are still some quite scary price movements, but investors have consistently been waiting in the wings to snap up any bargains. In the middle of March this year BTC reached an incredible high at $61,806. The current price for one Bitcoin stands at $60,826.
market overview
Global economies are still in a vulnerable position regardless of stock markets indicating otherwise. Many people forget that a stock index is a reflection of those companies doing well and does not represent those who are going bust ie in recent years the likes of Amazon and Amazon have replaced previous household names giving a false outlook. There are clearly many companies benefitting from online buying and others who have stepped up plans to move away from the high street resulting in a distorted picture of the world’s economies. Unfortunately there will be many others who have, and sadly, will continue to disappear forever. President Biden taking charge of the worlds largest economy has definitely been well received. His willingness to step back from US protectionism and re-establish global efforts for more fluid trade, as well as collaborating in the fight against global warming can only be a good thing. However, the avoidance of a trade war with China, the world’s second largest economy, has been slightly scuppered by the Uighur Muslim human rights issues in Xinjiang. Politicians and businesses from Australia, to the UK, the US and Canada have all condemned the use of slave labour whilst employing an apparent policy of re-educating this minority group. China has responded by banning many western online stores and even refusing entry to politicians who have spoken out against this practice. Hopefully President Biden will be able to get discussions underway with President Xi and avoid a damaging tit-for-tat episode of recriminations. I would like to finish with a tribute to Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh. A true gentleman, loving husband and inspiration tous all. RIP
David A Byrne uBE-3
the expAtS’ ChAllengeS Our US corresponder amd contributing columnist, Sarah J Brown, shares her story of her expat journey, exclusively for United British Expats
USA ColorAdo, 7295 mileS from UK mAnCheSter Let’s talk about the Expat challenges; I want to share some of the personal challenges my family experienced moving from the UK to USA, which I wish I’d known about beforehand, to better prepare myself for what was to come. Moving to another country is a challenge of its own – new city, new people, new language (in many cases)… even when moving from UK to USA, language played a big role in one of the expat challenges. Moving to the United States is an exciting adventure filled with lots of twists and turns. As an Expat, you can expect to face new challenges during your first year abroad. As long as you are prepared for the challenges, you can easily overcome them all. uBE-4
It can take time to overcome these hurdles and make yourself comfortable. And sometimes, no matter how hard you try, certain things follow you around all the time. I am a mum to two lively children, Archie 5yrs and Darcy 2yrs and we have a passion for family travel. My dream is to educate my kids through travel and experiencing different cultures. So when the relocation opportunity came up I was all for the change! However, we were unprepared for some of the challenges ahead. I had no idea this relocation was going to be a roller coaster of a ride!
COVER STORY
Below are seven challenges that Expats commonly face when moving to the United States AND helpful tips for overcoming them! Firstly, VISAS! How hard is this process! This alone took over a year to get finalized even with an employment offer. I’d highly recommend investing in an immigration lawyer. The paperwork was endless and easily completed incorrectly which can further delay the process.
hoUSe hUnting We were totally delusional on the property market! Thinking we could get a large plot, 4-5 bedroom house in Colorado Springs for $250,000... suddenly our budget doubled and the
process of getting a USA mortgage without any credit history was our next challenge! Saying that the price of land in the US is far lower than in the UK, which means that much larger houses can be built in the USA for less money. This does depend on where you move of course!! Just like anywhere in the world, the nicer the area, the more expensive houses will be. Do your research! Once you’ve got an idea of an area, research local schools if applicable to you (check their ratings!), local medical care ratings, crime rate and previous house sales to give you an idea if you're investing in a good area. I would highly recommend Guaranteed Rate for expats looking for a good loan offer. They worked with us through uBE-5
COVER STORY
the whole 18month process, answered my million questions and advised us so well.
To be honest, many Americans are fascinated in the English word exchange which was a great ice breaker.
lAngUAge BArrier
no U.S. Credit hiStory
Yup, even moving from a English spoken country to another English speaking country can bring language challenges. This was a huge shock to me and after 17 months I’m still learning. Moving to the USA from the UK means no more brilliant British slang! Communication is often a struggle for new Expats in the United States. Even those who have a good understanding of the English language can find it difficult to communicate with locals.
Expats entering the United States have no local credit history. Credit scores do not travel, so even if an Expat has great credit in their home country, it will not count in America. This means Expats have a very poor U.S. credit score, making it harder to get approved for large purchases and loans from lenders!
As a mum, I wish I’d known a few key words just to make the conversations run a little smoother and to start me off on my new vocabulary journey ... Stroller - Pushchair Plaster - Band Aid Supermarket - Grocery Store Tap - faucet Chemist - Drug Store Path - Sidewalk The one that still gets me all the time when I’m out at restaurants is CHIPS!! Here in the US Chips are Crisps! I’m constantly getting crisps with my burger instead of French fries!
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Before moving, try to get a USA secured credit card at least 6 month prior to start building up some credit history. This is a prepaid credit card which you can use and pay off the minimum to get you started in the USA system.
tAx on itemS Never take an item for face value in America. The tag may say $20, but what it means is $20 + state tax + federal tax. The tax rates vary between states. Research your state tax %. Just remember at the checkouts, restaurants, stores you need to account for that tax add on.
BUying A CAr One challenge many Expats are not prepared for is buying a car in the United States. And YOU need a car especially in Colorado. There is hardly any public transport to rely on in many US States unlike Europe. As mentioned above, since Expats do not have a local credit history when they arrive in the country, buying a car can be extremely expensive if not buying it out-right! Expats have trouble getting good financing or leasing rates at local car dealerships, and are often required to pay large out-of-pocket expenses for used cars. Plus... for many States remember the price you see does NOT include the county, city, and district taxes so you will be lumped with an extra payment !!
out there! I’m not an overly social person so this was a huge step for me! For all mommas out there , I’d highly recommend checking out Hike It Baby! No judgement, no clicks, just a massively welcoming group of ladies! We’ve been here for 17 months now, and through this group my kiddos and myself have explored so many places, joined in so many events and made some lifelong friends.
So either buy privately and take the risk of no warranty or buy out right if possible.
Obviously during these current times , social events are limited which can be even more challenging to create a Social network. To help manage those ups and downs I’d highly recommend reaching out to Emily @ Expat Parenting Abroad. Emily is an Award Winning Coach who helps expat mums not only get the best out of their experience but also supports you finding the meaning in your experience.
CreAting A SoCiAl networK
“Some beautiful paths can’t be discovered without getting lost”
I knew this was going to be a very lonely journey to begin with as my husband travels for at least 10 -18 days every month for work. I knew I had to be proactive with getting myself a social network . So I joined a few mommy groups 6 months before leaving the UK to put the feelers out there.
If you're moving to the USA, Colorado Springs in the future or currently here - I’d love to connect with you.
Fortunately I fell on my feet within an incredible group of Mammas! Hike It Baby FB Group saved my sanity! Day one of landing on USA soil I introduced myself into the group and got
Get in touch with me via my Instagram - @s.jbrown_
Written by Sarah J Brown uBE-7
finding the BeSt UK BoArding SChool for yoUr expAt Child
If you are an expat family living or preparing to move abroad, you may be considering sending your child to an independent boarding school in the UK.
Like all parents you have a common objective; you want your child to be safe, cared for, respected as an individual and challenged to make the most of their abilities. Your son or daughter will be living apart from you for big chunks of the year and you will be placing your trust in the hands and hearts of teachers and pastoral staff many miles away from your home. It is a huge decision to make; a decision that you know must be made carefully and one that has to be right.
are too much, that the style of teaching and learning doesn’t suit them, and that they can’t make friends?
the right SChool for yoUr expAt Child
But what happens if your child is accepted at a highly selective school and then finds that the expectations and pressure placed upon them are too much, that the style of teaching and learning doesn’t suit them, and that they can’t make friends?
A school that offers a value-adding education, where ethos, teaching styles, assessment and academic monitoring encourage all pupils to perform at levels above and beyond their baseline performance. Value-added feedback is a far better measure of the progress that students have made. Rather than relying solely on exam results, value-added feedback takes account of each student’s starting point and identifies progress they have made relative to other, similar students. To attain a place at a top university, such as Oxford or Cambridge, a child will have to perform well in a series of examinations – they will only do so if they are settled, happy and valued. And to find the right school for your child, you (or the consultant you ask to support you) must visit the school. Only then will you have confidence that the match is right; you will see the relationships between pupils and, importantly, between pupils and staff.
Many parents ask me to find their child a place at a school ‘in the top twenty in the league tables’. But what happens if your child is accepted at a highly selective school and then finds that the expectations and pressure placed upon them
If you have any wobbles that it might not quite be right, go with your gut feeling. You know your child better than anyone. Some schools do drama, sport, music and other activities particularly well. Some are stronger in different
Are you asking yourself which school you want your child to go to? Should you perhaps be asking which is the right school for your child? The outstanding Headmaster of Eton College, Simon Henderson, urges, “Ask about the right place for your child – not the most distinguished or impressive sounding name. Choose a school with academic standards that match the needs of your particular child”. He is absolutely right.
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They will never, ever fulfil their considerable potential. It’s far better to understand what makes your child tick, consider a range of options based upon their individual needs and then place them in a school where they will grow in confidence.
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areas of the curriculum, such as science, maths, languages or art – such factors might well help you as you create a long list of suitable schools. However, as overseas parents you need to be totally confident that certain aspects of pastoral care are right for your family – the ability to chat openly and frequently with boarding house staff, the nature of reporting on progress and, above all, the atmosphere. If it doesn’t come across as caring and you sense that your child might be considered just another child, then that school isn’t right for you, irrespective of its position in the league tables.
Allow time to SeArCh for the right SChool Give yourself enough time to make the right decision. For a September start, do not look to start your research in March and expect that you will find the right school – many good schools will be full, and your choice will be limited. An eighteen month prior to your desired start date is about right. What does an outstanding school for your child look like? This is highly personal, but you might consider:
● Examination league tables; ● Personal recommendations, but just remember that because that school was right for your uncle in the 1970’s, it might have changed a bit since then; ● Destinations and outcomes (ie universities, or for prep schools, senior school leaver destinations); ● Headmaster / headmistress – their vision and direction and how long they have been in post; ● Ethos and beliefs.
internAtionAl BoArderS Ask about the number of international boarders. Which countries do they come from, and in what proportion? How many pupils are in at the weekend and what activities are laid on? Ensure that your selected school really values international boarders and considers them more than just bums on seats. You’d be surprised… whilst UK boarding schools are considered world leading, the quality varies greatly and you can’t afford to make a poor decision – do your research properly and with due care and attention. If you’d like more information or advice about how to find the right school for your child please get in touch, visit https://theenglisheducation.co.uk
● Inspection reports – all independent schools are regularly scrutinised against standards by ISI (Independent Schools Inspectorate) and National Minimum Standards for boarding; uBE-9
6 We choose to move abroad for different reasons, some feel that they have to do it to further their own or their spouses’ career; others make the deliberate choice to move because they can see opportunities for themselves, and their families.
Let’s be honest, the emotional roller coaster is going to happen no matter what you do or how you plan. The good news is, there are steps you can take to reduce the range of roller coaster emotions.
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No matter why you are moving abroad, the process sparks a whole range of emotions. From being happy and excited about the new opportunities, to feeling sad and empty about what you’re leaving behind. Some days we feel like we have it all under control, then other days we just want to cry in the uBE-10
corner through sheer overwhelm. Whether adults or children, the emotional roller coaster is very real.
research
Sometimes you have the luxury of visiting a place before you move, but not always. This doesn’t mean you will have a bad transition, it just means you have to be a little more creative about your research.
t m
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tips for families moving abroad
Advances in technology are making this easier all the time. When we first moved to Asia, we literally had to go and get the Lonely Planet Guide for that location and research using a travel book. Not anymore, there are Facebook Groups, networking organisations, websites and a multitude of resources available to you. This too poses its own problems, such as information overload, the trick is to be clear about what you need to know before you move.
spouse, should you want to? What’s the medical support like, and what sort of pharmacy items are available? Do you need insurance? How easy is it to get grocery items, and are there family favourites you might consider bringing with you? This list is not exhaustive, but you get the idea try to think about long term family impacts.
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Some key questions you might like to consider are: what is the style of housing/accommodation that is available in that location? What is the security of that location? What types of schooling options are available? Can you easily work as a
communicate
The sooner you can talk to people about your upcoming move, the easier it becomes to process what you are going through. Obviously with human nature, everyone has an opinion they will want to share with you!?! Know that you don’t have to take it all onboard :-) uBE-11
FEATURE There is however something in talking about a move that really helps you to get your head around what you're going to experience. It helps to clarify your expectations and you will quickly learn what questions you still have. Be mindful of how you share the news with your children. You want to ensure you do it when you have ample time to sit with them and digest the information. They will have different questions to you, don’t feel you have to answer all immediately. You can acknowledge “this is new to all of us, I don’t have an answer but why don’t we find out together”. Tune in to how they share the news, when they facetime the grandparents what do they say? How much do they share? How do they answer the questions? This will give you a good indication of how they are processing the move.
3 involve
Involving your kids in the move is a great way to help them adjust to what is happening. Don’t feel you have to do it all for them, that is not your burden to carry. Involving them in planning, research, even the packing helps them understand all the aspects of a move. Involving your kids in the packing is key, they often worry that they wont see their ‘stuff’ again. So showing them how it is packed, labeled etc relieves some of their anxieties. We always play a game with the girls when we are in a transition - we go around the table, usually over dinner, and say one thing I’m excited or happy about, and one thing I’m sad or nervous about. We keep going until we have nothing more to add. It is always surprising what they come up with!
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prEparE
Prepare for the flight. Pending your kids age, you may need changes of clothes (I always put the girls in PJs for an overnight flight, with a soft toy to keep them comfy), activities, snacks etc. Don’t rely on what’s on the plane, bring what you need with you.
good goodbyes
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Plan how you want to say goodbye to the place you’re leaving. Whether it’s your permanent home or has been for only a few years, there are things that each of you will miss about a place. We often call it our bucket list, things we want to do before we depart. Obviously with COVID this isn’t always possible at the moment, but if you can try and have at least one bucket list item for each family member.
Do plan a gathering of some sort to say goodbye. The people you are leaving want the opportunity to see you, and your family will want to say goodbye too. If you can’t do this in person, then plan a zoom or facetime party. Do try and make it a positive experience, try not to let it go on too long, keep a timeframe in mind before you arrive or start.
happy landing
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In your research, find at least one family activity you can do soon after you land in your new location. Something that creates a new family memory or experience that your kids can share with family and friends they’ve just said goodbye to. Having that something to talk about, it can be a great ice breaker when you first connect after a goodbye. No matter how much you plan, you will still experience the range of emotions about moving - we call it bitter sweet in our family. It really helps to articulate that we feel both happy and sad at the same time, and that is OK. What is really important through all of this, be there for your family and for yourself. Journal if you can about how you're feeling. Talk it out with your spouse. Listen to your kids. And hug each other… often!
Ensure you are prepared for the physical move. Think about your temporary accommodation at both ends of the flight, make lists of what you need to have with you to ensure you don’t forget anything. I always keep out a basic knife, chopping board, kids lunch boxes and water bottles, a tea towel, dish soap, and the mandatory jar of vegemite! So no matter how long before we are settled on a more permanent basis I can still pack school lunch :-)
I have been an expat for over 20 years, and both our girls were born on foreign shores. With hubby’s role in hotels, we find that we have been on the move every 2 years to a new country. With so many transitions, I have become an expert settling myself and the family quickly.
Think about the seasons, it is similar weather to where you are now or do you need extra layers. You can’t cover everything, but try and be smart about how you pack for the interim phase.
I have a free cheat sheet to share with you, 5 Steps to A Successful Transition. In this cheat sheet I share my top (very practical) tips that you can use to support yourself and your family.
Carry essential medicines with you, especially during the interim phase of leaving and arriving. There is nothing worse than feeling pressure to find medicine in an unfamiliar environment.
Download your free copy now https://www.expatparentingabroad.com/steps Written by Emily Rogers Expat Parenting Abroad
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FEATURE
A gUide to deAling with the growing tiredneSS & Boredom of
the new normAl This pandemic is no longer an exciting (but scary) novelty. We’re a year into this lockdown and crisis, and it’s starting to wear on many of us. We experience it as boredom, tiredness, exhaustion. We experience it as an ongoing burden, and can’t wait for it to be over. We lose patience, and want to do anything else but this.
What would it be like to work with this difficulty inside ourselves, and shift it?
That all makes sense. It’s also exactly why we have difficulty sticking to habit changes, to long-term deep commitments, to ongoing projects and long-running challenges.
What would it change for us if we didn’t have to get tired of long-term challenges, or feel them as boring difficult burdens? What would it shift if we could develop the joy of patience?
It’s one thing when things are new, novel, exciting, fresh. It’s a completely different thing when things are boring, dull, tiring, burdensome.
JUST A FEW POSSIBLE BENEFITS OF SHIFTING THIS: • We can endure long challenges, for months and even years. uBE-13
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• We can shift habits long term, instead of dropping new habits after a couple of weeks. • We’ll have more patience for people who usually tire us out or get on our nerves. • We’ll be less drained by things that weigh on us or bother us over the long term. • We’ll have a greater capacity for endurance, fortitude and patience overall. I’d say those are benefits worth working toward! And the good news is, with the boredom and tiredness we’re feeling from the lockdown and pandemic, we have the perfect practice ground. This is the time to practice, right when we’re feeling like not facing this difficulty. So how do we do that? Let’s first look at why these kinds of situations try our patience, and then how to work with them during the current situation. WHY THESE THINGS TRY OUR PATIENCE If we think about it, there’s nothing in most situations that we face that makes them inherently difficult or annoying. We create the difficulty. uBE-14
For example, let’s say you had to sit in a room with no devices, nothing to read, nothing to do … for two weeks. Most people would find this tedious, boring, tiresome. (Not everyone, but most.) Why though? There’s nothing wrong with an empty room. It’s not worse than any other situation — except that we make it worse, by deciding that it’s not fun, not exciting, not interesting. That’s our decision. We create the experience of boredom, burden, difficulty. The good news is that if we create the experience, we can change it. We have the power to not be bored, impatient, burdened, annoyed, frustrated. The shift comes from letting go of the thoughts we have about the situation, which are creating the difficult experience. “BUT IT REALLY IS BORING/FRUSTRATING! IT’S NOT JUST MY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT!” No, it’s not. In reality, it’s just life. The world, and life on earth. It’s just molecules and energy. We create the narrative that it’s bad or good. We can let go of the narrative. If we let go of the beliefs and narrative and thoughts about the situation … it’s not good or bad. It’s just life. And in fact, we
can create a new view: that it’s a miracle to be alive, to witness the universe like this, to be interconnected to other living beings in so many ways; that it’s something to be grateful for. Or just experience the experience, without thoughts and narratives. It’s up to us. We can practice with these thoughts and experiences.
getting our way — and we always want our way. What would it be like to not need to get our way, but to love things just as they are? Look around, and see the beauty in this moment. See the incredible miracle of life and the world around us. Feel the connection to all other human beings, to all living beings, in everything you see.
USING THE CRISIS TO PRACTICE PATIENCE
Or just experience the moment without the thoughts. Just the sensations of this moment. When you’re feeling frustration, it’s also an opportunity to experience the sensations of frustration, without judging them. What does it feel like in your body to feel frustration? Can you just experience that?
So with this in mind, let’s use this current crisis to practice patience. Whenever you’re feeling restless, bored, tired of the situation, frustrated, unhappy, exhausted by it all … delight in the opportunity to practice! Let yourself find the beauty in the practice. Look at the situation around you, and ask, “Why is this frustrating or tiresome? Why don’t I like it?” See what thoughts come up. “I just want it to be over. I just want some human contact. I just want to go to my favorite restaurant. I don’t like having to stay home.”
Over and over, the feelings will come up. We can just experience them, without judging. We can just experience this moment. We can see the beauty in this moment. These are practices of patience. And with practice, we can increase our capacity. Or we can practice frustration with not getting what we want. What will you practice today?
Notice that a lot of those thoughts are about what you want or don’t want. What you like or don’t like. This is about us
Written by Leo Babauta uBE-15
H E A LT H & W E L L B E I N G
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UnBeAtABle wAyS to CreAte A peACefUl, relAxed worKdAy
We tend to go through our days with our noses to the grindstone, doing tasks, getting distracted, jumping from one thing to the next. Go to sleep tired, repeat the next day.
“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.” – Lily Tomlin Last week when I wrote about things to do at work when you’re bored out of your skull, for my personal blog, a number of readers wrote about having the opposite problem: they’re too busy to be bored. Some of them seemed a bit overwhelmed by their workdays, and so I decided to share ways to create a more peaceful workday. One where you can allow yourself to be more relaxed and happier. uBE-16
The first step is the realization that you are in control of your day. You can create the perfect workday, if you’re willing to start from scratch. For some people, that may mean taking some tough steps, if their boss or their workplace is very controlling about how they do their work. For example, you might talk to your boss about restructuring your workday. It might also mean looking for a new job that’s more flexible, if you’re
not happy with the way things are. Or it might just mean picking the tips below that work best for you and living with a certain amount of stress. Do what works for you! For me, a perfect workday incorporates many of the tips below, but never all of them at once. I use a combination of strategies to ensure that most of my days are fairly relaxed. Do I still get stressed? Undoubtedly. But it’s a far less frequent thing than in the past.
here’S how i do it.
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Do less. Those of you who know me by now saw this one coming. It’s very difficult to have a relaxed workday if you have too much going on. Instead, learn to reduce what you do, but choose the most impactful tasks and projects — the ones that will mean the most over the long term. I choose three important things to achieve each day, as I’ve said before. Those are the three things I can do today that will have the most impact in my life.
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Create a morning routine. And make it a relaxing one. That could include some of the things below, such as exercise, a hot bath, or quiet working time. For me, it means getting up earlier so I’m not so rushed, and then doing little rituals (like having a quiet cup of coffee and reading) that will ensure I start the day perfectly.
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Prepare the night before. An evening routine is also essential to starting your day right. This might include things like choosing your three Most
Important Tasks for the next day, so you know what you’re going to do when you wake up. It might mean getting your clothes ready. For me, it includes getting a jump start on prepping my kids’ lunches, so it’s just about done before my day even starts.
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Start the day with a relaxing shower or bath. I like a hot shower, but if you have time, a good bath can be a perfect way to start off the day. It gets you in a relaxed mood, which is much better than starting the day stressed out.
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Get in some morning exercise. I don’t get to exercise every single morning, but I do it on a majority of mornings. A nice morning run is a wonderful thing for me. It relaxes me, and gives me a sense of well being and accomplishment. Work when it’s quiet. I like to do work early in the morning, when everyone is sleeping. For others, that might be late at night instead. Whatever works best for you. When I was working in an office, I liked to get in before everyone else, so that I could get in some solid work before things got busy. I would also work during lunch while everyone else was out — I just liked the quiet. I would eat two smaller lunches before and after the normal lunch hour. Getting in early also allowed me to leave early, so that I could spend time with my kids or get in some evening exercise.
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Create a clutter-free environment. This is key for me, as you might also know by now. I like my desk clear of any clutter. Right now, the only thing on my desk is my iMac (I’m paperless now). But it’s
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OK to have a couple family pictures or an inbox, but too much stuff it just visual distraction. Clear your walls of everything but a nice picture or other art piece or two. Clutter-free surroundings create a peaceful working environment.
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Turn off the distractions. That means phones, email notification, instant messaging, anything that will break into your focus and make you jump from one thing to another.
be accomplished with email, or an IM. Cutting out meetings could free up a lot of time and make your workday more relaxed.
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Single-task. For me, focus is everything. Writing this article would take twice as long, and be much less peaceful, if I was constantly interrupted, if I was constantly switching between this and email and surfing the web and other tasks I have to do. I like to focus on one task at a time, if possible, and really lose myself in the writing.
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Cut back on your commitments. Evaluate all the things you’ve got going on in your life, and see what isn’t essential. This means choosing 4-5 essential things in your life, and trying to eliminate the rest over time. Cut out meetings. If you have the ability to opt out of meetings, do so. They are generally a waste of time. Sure, it’s possible that a meeting is the most productive way to do something, but it’s rarely done. Usually the point of a meeting could uBE-18
Take breaks and stretch. While focusing on one task at a time is important, it’s also important to take breaks when you can. Get up, stretch, get a glass of water. Massage your shoulders, neck and head. It keeps you relaxed throughout the day.
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Go for a walk. I also like to take a break and go for a walk. It helps me get perspective, to think, to get a better overall picture on my workday and my life. Plus it gets the blood circulating.
H E A LT H & W E L L B E I N G
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Eat lunch in a quiet spot. I’m kind of a shy guy, and while many people do lunch meetings, I would rather eat at my desk with a good book or take my sack lunch to a park for a peaceful, meditative eating break.
Do mini-meditations. This doesn’t require a mat or a temple or soothing tapes or anything. Just sit where you are, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing — on your breath as it comes into your body, and then goes out. This helps me to center myself, no matter what is going on with work.
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to the present. This helps keep your mind in a peaceful place all day long.
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Learn to focus on the present. Related to the mini-meditations and single-tasking. Basically, instead of worrying about what you have to do in the future, and instead of reliving things you did in the past, focus on what you’re doing right now. This can be difficult, as our minds have a tendency to wander to other things, but it’s simply a matter of practice – be aware of where your mind is, and when it drifts to other things, gently bring it back
Roll with the punches. There will always be things that go wrong. What is important is how we react to them — do we go all Drama Queen, and get stressed and upset? Or do we accept what has happened, and make a calm decision about what to do now? When things get overwhelming, take a step back to get some perspective, and realize that in a few months, none of this will really matter much — and then take steps to eliminate the non-essential and focus on what’s really important.
“There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” – Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes Written by Leo Babauta uBE-19
FEATURE
travel lessons
For me, a person who enjoys staying home and enjoying the simple pleasures, I travel so much; and it’s been a bit crazy. I don’t normally think of myself as a traveler, but the evidence is against that. I’m a traveler now. And during it all, I’ve been taking notes. I’d like to share them with you here — my lessons learned in the past few years of traveling. uBE-20
trAveling lightly For me, the traveling light philosophy isn’t just in what you pack (though that’s a good part of it), but in how you approach travel. Here are some lessons learned: • For most people, a backpack of 24-, 18- or even 16-liters is enough. I’ve traveled with a 16-liter backpack for weeks with no problems. I think we tend to bring more because of fear that we might need more. • Wash clothes in the sink and hang them overnight. Bam.
with my family
You just eliminated the need to bring a lot of clothes. • My packing list: I wear jeans, underwear, a T-shirt, socks and shoes (of course), and then pack 2-3 more underwear, another T-shirt/workout shirt, workout shorts (that I can run and swim in), 2 more pairs of socks, minimalist running shoes (that don’t take up much space), a Macbook Air and iPhone (with Kindle app so I can read books), cords and some toiletries. If it might be cool, a sweater or jacket. • I wear the same jeans over and over, and just wash them once every week, hanging them up at night to air out.
• Packing lightly means traveling more easily, not having to drag around a roller bag or luggage. Honestly, you don’t realize how much this costs you in energy and happiness until you go without all the weight. Trips become easier, packing and unpacking takes a few minutes, and you aren’t tired or grumpy. • Traveling lightly also means you don’t plan out as many things to do, but instead just research possibilities. What do you do each day? You look at the possibilities, and explore. You might just walk around and see what there is to see. Don’t worry about a schedule. uBE-21
FEATURE • Traveling lightly also means avoiding the tourist traps. Some tourist attractions are genuinely worth seeing (great art and architecture), but otherwise, just see the city and people watch. You avoid the lines, and again you are lighter and happier. • It also means resting. Built into each day: slowness and rest stops and picnics and lounging in parks and stopping to just be in a place. • Walk a lot to explore, and try public transit. Also go for a run. These are the best ways to explore a city. • Finally, let go of expectations. If you’re going to a great city like Rome for the first time, you probably have an idea of what it is like. You’re wrong, and because it won’t match your expectations, you might be disappointed or frustrated. Instead, go in with curiosity, to explore and to really see. You’ll enjoy every trip much more.
the fUn StUff Here are some highlights that I’ve loved: • In New York City, definitely don’t miss Hack the Museum. My friend Nick recently started these super fun tours of the Met, and I took my whole family, not because I like tours (I usually hate them), but because they make a normal museum experience into an extraordinary one. Highly recommended. • In Portland, go on a run in Forest Park. Really lovely, miles and miles of trails through a real forest, right within the city limits.
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• In Japan, go during Cherry Blossom season, because it’s gorgeous. It gets crowded, but people watching is part of the fun. You also don’t need to go on the exact weekend when they have the festival, because Cherry Blossom viewing (hanami) seems to go on for weeks. Go with a few friends, lay down a blanket or tarp, bring Japanese picnic food and drinks, and have an amazing time. • In Rome, St. Peter’s Basilica blew me away with its grandeur. • The Cinque Terre in Italy — five towns tumbling down cliff sides into the Mediterranean, linked by a train and walking trails — were beautiful and worthwhile. • Sunbathing on the beaches of Antibes (southern France) was very nice, and I loved the romance of being where Hemingway and Fitzgerald also played around with their hip friends. • In NYC, we truly love Candle 79, Candle Cafe, Hangawi, Blossom, Dun-well Doughnuts, Babycakes and the Cinnamon Snail. Vegan heaven. • People watching: Central Park in NYC, beaches at Antibes and Barcelona, Osaka Castle, Ueno Park in Tokyo, Hachiko statue at Shibuya Station in Tokyo, Williamsburg flea http://candle79.com/ market. • In Japan, you can buy a weeklong train pass and ride the bullet trains everywhere. Tokyo is amazing, but there are other great places, from Osaka to Kyoto and Uji to Miyajima to an organic tea farm outside of the town of Fujieda, that you should definitely see. Bullet trains (shinkasen) are amazing.
• Portland has amazing vegan food! My new friend Ami Baio, a Portland vegan, took me and some friends to some terrific places: Canteen, Portabella Vegan Trattoria, Blossoming Lotus, SweetPea bakery, and the vegan minimall! Oh my goodness. All are highly recommended.
trAveling with KidS Traveling with kids isn’t always easy. But we love traveling with ours. Here’s what we’ve learned: • Talk to them before the trip about mindset. We explained to them that things will go wrong, we’ll get tired, we’ll walk a lot, we’ll get lost. It’s all an adventure. If they have this adventure mindset, things will go much easier. • Talk to them about complaining. Again, we’re on an adventure, and complaining isn’t a part of that. Instead, be grateful you’re in this new place, exploring and seeing amazing things. • Bring sketchbooks. We brought sketchbooks to NYC and would take breaks in the park and draw. Lots of fun! • Walk a lot at home, for training. Our kids walk a fair amount here in San Francisco, so when we travel and walk a lot to explore, they don’t tire so easily. They still tire, but at least they’re in decent shape. • Rest. Kids need rest. Build that into the plan each day. • Gelato — they’ll go anywhere if you reward them with gelato! • Let them help with the planning. If you’re just dragging them to places you want to see, then it’s boring. But if they helped plan out the trip, including a list of places to
see, they’ll be more interested. • Be each other’s tour guides. When we went to MOMA, we each picked an artist, learned about it, and then had to explain the artist to the others, like a tour guide. • Get an apartment. We used AirBnB to get apartments in each city. It’s more comfortable for a large family, and cheaper than getting several hotel rooms, plus we could get groceries and cook at home for some meals, rather than eating out all the time. Also, there’s often wireless internet and washer/dryer (if you choose well). • Kids can travel light too. Our kids each brought a small backpack each, one that they could carry (our younger ones had really small backpacks). They’re responsible for their own stuff. We’ve experimented with this on several trips, and it works out well. • Give the kids responsibilities. They’re not passengers sitting back enjoying the ride — they’re helping plan and find their way around public transit and pick restaurants and get us to trains on time, etc. They’re learning to travel, and as adults they’ll be really good at it. These are just a handful of the lessons I’ve learned. I’ve loved every place we’ve visited, and have met some lovely readers in each city, and it’s been excellent. Thank you to everyone we’ve met. Written by Leo Babauta
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TRAVEL
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tips for travelling with Kids A number of people asked me to share how we went about planning this and if I have any tips for traveling with kids … so here you go! This is a post with some of the things I’ve been doing to plan and keep the trip a fun and peaceful one with our large family.
planning tips Well, we’ve been planning and saving for this trip for awhile now … I have a regular savings fund just for travel, and we don’t buy a lot of things so the savings is automatic and healthy right now. We also used lots of rewards miles that I’ve been accumulating to help lower costs. Democratic planning: One of the best things we did was plan the trip as a family. We did this by voting on our destination cities using an online poll. We then took the winners and did a second poll, where everyone voted on how many days to devote to each city, and averaged out the results. Thus our itinerary was created. Have them take responsibilities: We had the four older kids each take one of the cities and find an AirBnb apartment for that city. That means we had to decide what neighborhood to live in (I use a combo criteria that uses the density of things to see, vegan restaurant options, and good coffee shops) and then they had to do a search for good apartments that had criteria like a washer, decent photos and reviews, enough space and bathrooms for our large family, etc. Pack light: By now, the kids have all adopted the “pack light” philosophy, and we travel with one light backpack each and no roller bags or other luggage (the younger ones carry their own small backpack). This allows us to easily navigate cities, airports, trains and buses with our packs, and we don’t get tired from lugging things around. The packing approach: take as little as possible, and wash clothes at each destination so we don’t need a lot of extra clothes.
give them responsibility We try to teach them self-sufficiency by asking them to help out with travel responsibilities as we travel. Of course, this has to be appropriate to their abilities and ages, but two of our “kids” are actually adults now, and two are nearly adults, so they can definitely share most responsibilities. Even the younger two have things to do.
Take turns being leaders: On past trips I usually play the role of being leader, but this trip I asked them to each take a day where they are responsible for planning, navigating, finding restaurants, and more. This should give them a lot of travel skills they haven’t developed much before. But we’re just starting this experiment so we’ll see how it goes. Let them take care of their own stuff: I think as parents, we have a tendency to check on what the kids have packed, make sure everyone has their stuff, wash their clothes for them … but the philosophy I like best is to let them figure it out. It’s their stuff, and if they forget things, or lose them, they’ll figure things out.
happy traveling All of the logistics are great, but what about happiness while your walking for hours around a city, and kids are tired and hungry? I don’t claim to have all the answers in this area, but here are some things I’ve been trying to do: Give them a spirit of adventure: Things will go wrong, we’ll get lost, miss trains, and so forth … and that can be frustrating for our family, or it can be a part of the adventure! So I try to talk to them about how we’re going on an adventure, and things going wrong and getting lost is all a part of that. Putting them in the right frame of mind can be helpful. Be flexible: It’s easy to get stuck into a rigid schedule and try to hit everything on your plan, but we all know that plans always go wrong. So I’ve found it helpful to take a more flexible approach, and not plan everything rigidly. We often have an idea of what we want to do each day (decided the day before, perhaps), but it’s best if we go with the flow of things and decide each activity as we go. This way we’re not stressed out when things don’t go according to plan. Don’t rush: I tend to rush, if I’m being honest. I don’t know why, it just seems in my nature to want to walk fast, and expect everyone to keep up. I’ve been trying to remind myself not to be in a rush, though I often forget. There’s no need to get uBE-25
The truth is, they get frustrated and tired and grumpy just like we do.
everything done in a day, and while I don’t like to miss a flight, we try to leave a little early so we don’t have to rush everyone (even if I prefer to wait until the last minute when I’m alone), and I’ve also found that it’s not the end of the world if we miss a train or flight. Anyway, main lesson for me: take your time, don’t rush people, and everyone is happier. Realize they get frustrated too: It’s easy for parents to get frustrated when kids don’t behave perfectly, but honestly, why would we ever expect them to behave ideally? The truth is, they get frustrated and tired and grumpy just like we do. So when they behave imperfectly (daily, just like me), I try to remind myself to breathe, and to feel their frustration. To see that they are tired. To realize they’re struggling with things. And to feel compassion for their struggles. uBE-26
Drop expectations: My mission this trip is to remind myself to drop my expectations of the kids, and of the trip in general … and just be there with them. Just experience the joy of travel with them. Remind ourselves to be grateful: I have been constantly asking them (and myself), “How lucky are we to be here right now?” In the middle of a trip, it can be easy to forget how great our lives are, how amazing it is to be where we are … and sometimes we just have to stop and take notice, and appreciate the moment around us.
Written by Leo Babuta
ENTERTAINMENT
the good read a pulsating novel that brings psychological thrillers into the 21st century Chicago Detective, Anthony Mazur is being framed for corruption, and at the same time his best friend is also being accused of murder. FBI Agent Salonge Dupree makes a connection between these events and a spate of recent murders. The race is on to catch a vicious and sadistic killer!
INDEPENDENT LITERARY PRESS
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“I thoroughly enjoyed the story. It was a real page turner. If you have something that needs doing then do not open the first page... you will not put it down. Disturbing at times, yet sensitive on occasions; even humorous and romantic. This is, however, not for the faint of heart.” by Stephen Barrowman on June 30, 2020
letters to my SiStEr
”
This eagerly awaited sequel to ‘Who’s the Hangman is due for release in the coming weeks. Our two heroes are now on a mission to thwart the expansion of an Eastern European crime gang. This gripping novel begins in London, then moves to the Costa del Sol, before a pulsating finale in Thailand. Meanwhile, their nemesis, the serial killer from the Hangman, turns up to complicate matters. Written by Paula Rapsiewicz
available on amazon, Kindle and rakuten Kobo uBE-27
hair rEScuE Written by Paula Rapsiewicz uBE-28
We love a little dip in the pool during summer season, but our wonderful locks may disagree! Humidity and heat often disagrees with many hair types, and the chlorine definitely doesn’t compliment my bleachblonde strands.
Whatever type of hair you have, the sun and sea can really cause havoc in your daily styling routine; whether you experience colour fades and going green (blonde-problems!), loss of curl, moisture and shine, split ends or constant frizziness, we are here to help!
can struggle to stay healthy and nourished. Of course, wearing a hat, scarf or a swimming cap is one of the options, but there are also multiple products on the market which can help prevent sun damage, or revive your hair when necessary.
Since living in sunny Spain, I’ve experienced green tinges, straw-like hair and total lack of structure. UVB rays are just as harmful to our hair, as they are to our skin; and with the addition of chlorine and sea water, your hair
After trying numerous products and remedies, I’ve put together a list of products which have done miracles to return my hair to a healthy and manageable state, and I hope they do the same for you!
BEAUTY
l’oreal paris Elvive Extraordinary oil This is my all-time, must-have, at all times! Honestly, since purchasing this oil, I cannot live without. As mentioned earlier, bleach and sun is a deadly combination, often leaving my hair feeling straw-like and drained of any shine. I’ve tried numerous oils, and I found that many of them leave my hair looking greasy, rather than shiny and healthy; however, L’Oreal’s Extraordinary Oil, really is extraordinary! You only need one pump for medium-length hair, and can be used on wet or dry hair. It will leave your hair feeling soft, shiny, and make it a lot more manageable when styling.
garnier ultimate Blends hair food I was recently out food shopping, when I came across this colourful, vibrant range, which immediately captured my attention. Not only did the packaging look great, I also noticed that these products are made using 98% natural origin ingredients! The range includes shampoo, conditioner and a leave-in mask, which promises healthier, stronger and more nourished hair. With the addition of super fruits, and free of silicone, parabens and colourants, this range seems like the ideal holiday companion. Also, they smell great, and come in various intriguing scents such as banana, goji, macadamia and papaya.
castor oil
pro:voKE touch of Silver colour care This one is for all of my bleached beauties! PRO:VOKE is my absolute essential on holiday; it’s one of those products that I always have in my bathroom, and always helps to tone out any green patches in my hair. The silver shampoo, conditioner and leave-in toner come in a deep shade of purple which helps to tone out any imperfections in blonde hair. I’ve used this brand for years, and I highly recommend it.
Last, but not least - the old good castor oil! Castor oil has been used for centuries, and is known to benefit our hair in so many ways; it helps it grow faster, stronger, and most importantly - it’s totally natural. Expensive products have taken over some of the most effective natural remedies, but castor oil is still widely used today. It’s high in vitamin E, proteins, minerals and omega-6 and good fatty acids. It also contains very high levels of ricinoleic acid, which are all extremely beneficial for our hair. Before you go to sleep, wet your hair slightly and cover with castor oil; wrap your hair in a scarf or wear a shower cap overnight, and wash out in the morning for maximum effect. uBE-29
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FOOD
BeSt SoUp…
ever
OK, I may have oversold this recipe in the headline a bit, but trust me, you’ll love it. It’s easy to make, it’s vegan, it’s healthy, and it is perfection. I can’t get enough of it. Go out and buy the ingredients and make it today!
• 1 can stewed tomatoes
ingredientS
• Salt, black pepper and
• Various veggies, diced
(you can use any kind that you like, but I usually throw in squash (butternut, though any kind is great), celery, carrots, corn, fresh spinach and broccoli — zucchini would be another good choice)
• Water • Olive oil, a few
tablespoons Italian seasoning to taste
direCtionS • Dice all the veggies and
open the cans of beans (and corn if you’re using canned corn); be sure not to skin the squash — just scoop out the seeds and dice it up
• One yellow onion, diced • Heat up the olive oil in a • A couple cloves of garlic,
diced • Vegetable boullion,
4 cubes • 1 package pasta (any
kind, except the longer ones like spaghetti or linguini is good — I like the bow-tie pasta or shell pasta) • 1 can each kidney beans
and white beans
large pot and saute the onion and garlic • Throw in all the veggies
except the spinach; stir and heat up until veggies start to get a little soft • Season veggies with
and enough water so that the pot is nearly full (not all the way!); heat on high until boiling, then turn down to medium heat • Mix vegetable bouillon
with warm water in a cup until dissolved, and pour into soup; boil until pasta nearly cooked • Throw in the spinach a
couple minutes before the soup is done; when the pasta is cooked, the soup is done; be sure to season with more salt, pepper and Italian seasoning to taste — you know when it is seasoned right when you taste it and say, “Oh … my … God!” Enjoy! You will love this. Serve it to friends, or do what I do, and pack it for lunch every day for a week. I never get tired of it.
some salt, pepper and Italian seasoning • Throw in the beans,
pasta, stewed tomatoes,
Written by Leo Babauta uBE-31
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