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Dress up and let your Otanku flag fly at Partial Nerdity at SERJ on December 23.
We put out weekly 8
NEWS&CULTURE BEST OF THE BLOTTER 2017 Our annual celebration of the
Queen City’s dumbest criminals and most bizarre police incidents
BY RYAN PITKIN 6 EDITOR’S NOTE BY MARK KEMP 7 NEWS OF THE WEIRD 11 NEWSBITE BY RYAN PITKIN
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FOOD&DRINK GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM! Lang Van owner Dan Nguyen is a bright light in Charlotte’s culinary scene BY MARK KEMP
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TOP 10 THINGS TO DO THIS WEEK
MUSIC CHARLOTTE STEPS UP TO SMOKEY JOE’S MIC Singers and instrumentalists live their dreams at dive bar’s Open Jam
BY PAT MORAN 19 MUSICMAKER: ELIAH BY MARK KEMP 20 SOUNDBOARD
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ARTS&ENT SHOTS ALL AROUND Carey J. King’s ‘photo walks’ bring photography scene together
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CLCLT.COM | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 VOL. 31, NO. 44
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NEWS
EDITOR’S NOTE
HIDING ON THE BACK ROADS Check out some of Charlotte’s less traveled dives this week IT HAD BEEN at least five years since I last
stepped foot in Lang Van, the Vietnamese restaurant on Shamrock Drive near the Charlotte Museum of History. I’d loved the restaurant’s food and service when I first arrived here in the early 2000s, having initially checked it out on a tip from former Levine Museum historian Tom Hanchett. I’d been meaning to get back there more recently, but just never seemed to make time for it. After returning to the city following a few years away, I initially lived in east Charlotte and would drive by the little nondescript box-shaped building almost every day on my way home. Lang Van beckoned: Come back. Then last week, I drove by and saw a little plastic Santa standing in front of the building. I could have sworn he was waving me down. We needed a food feature for this week’s Creative Loafing, and I’d always been curious about the history of this restaurant that’s been a Charlotte staple for so many years, somehow managing to survive all the new development and the proliferation of other Vietnamese hotspots to become the longestlasting Vietnamese restaurant in the city. I walked in and was immediately embraced by owner Dan Nguyen. “Hello,” she exclaimed, excitedly. “Where you been?” Surely, Nguyen was just being a good host. She couldn’t possibly have remembered me after so many years. She continued: “You celebrate birthday here. Long time ago. Too long.” It was true. I had celebrated a birthday at Lang Van eight years ago this April. I’d been to the restaurant many times before then and
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afterwards. But not since 2013 at the very added, “Lang Van, however, is easily on latest. My hair is shorter and grayer. And yet par with the best Vietnamese food I’ve had Nguyen remembered. anywhere.” She is known for her preternatural Quite an endorsement, coming from a memory. “Nguyen has a remarkable capacity West Coaster. for remembering regulars’ favorite dishes,” a We endorse Lang Van, too, and encourage fellow local journalist, Greg Lacour, wrote a you to check out not just the restaurant, but couple of years ago on the Charlotte East blog. the story behind the uncanny memory and “She has a knack for remembering what uncommon warmth of its owner. You’ll her customers order, and her smile find it on page 12. is an essential part of the dining In other news about small experience,” former CL writer dives in remote areas of the Keia Mastrianni concurred in city, CL writer Pat Moran a piece she wrote for Charlotte spent an evening at Magazine. Smokey Joe’s Cafe, the Both of those writers decidedly unhip music penned small profiles on joint on Briar Creek Nguyen, but I wanted to Road near Bojangles know a little more about Coliseum. this woman who not only You won’t find a remembers her customers’ perfectly curated roster favorite dishes and embraces of experimental indie rock MARK KEMP them when they walk in the door, or hip-hop on tap at Smokey but also expects the same of her staff Joe’s — more likely, you’ll find and insists on serving only the freshest a grey-bearded classic rock act vegetables and highest-quality ingredients at trotting out a Prince cover, a blues-rock band Lang Van. ripping into Stevie Ray Vaughan’s “Texas Look on Yelp. Almost every review is four Flood,” or the occasional veteran celebrity or five stars and includes some variation musician stopping in for a surprise cameo. on “great food,” “amazing service,” “scary In the case of the club’s weekly Tuesday neighborhood.” The “scary neighborhood” night Open Jam with the Smokin’ Js, you’ll comments presumably come from folks who see anonymous singers, guitarists and other don’t often get out of the suburbs, but the instrumentalists hop onstage with the house fact that even those people are willing to band to test their talents (or lack thereof) on “brave” the “scary” ’hood shows how well- forgiving audiences. In a Charlotte that just loved Lang Van is. last year lost the Double Door Inn, its most “There is awesome Vietnamese food in famous old-school music dive, Smokey Joe’s southern California,” a southern Californian is the next-best thing. wrote on Yelp, lamenting the scarcity of Pat decided to check out the old music Vietnamese offerings in the Southeast, but venue on its Open Jam night, where he saw
a local guitarist do Stevie Ray proud. He also talked with Sean Knight, who books the music; members of the Smokin’ J’s, who back the Open Jam participants, and one-time Open Jam host Josh Daniel, who’s better known these days for his work with the New Familiars. Daniel began hosting the Jam before he was even legally allowed to be in a bar, he tells Pat in the music feature on page 16. “I wound up doing it for eight years,” Daniel says. “When I look back on it — I play about 150 gigs a year now, but I still think I’ve played more at Smokey Joe’s than anywhere else.” This week’s Creative Loafing is about getting off the main roads and out of the hip neighborhoods, to find those little outof-the-way places where folks don’t so much seek to be seen, as to see.
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NEWS
NEWS OF THE WEIRD
BRIGHT IDEA Cai, a 28-year-old man in Lianyungang, Jiangsu Province, China, had plenty of time to consider traffic patterns as he waited for the lights to change during his daily commute. So much, in fact, that he decided to take matters into his own hands on Sept. 27 and paint new traffic arrows on the roadway. A traffic camera captured the whole project as Cai carefully added a straight arrow to the existing left-turn and U-turn arrows. “I saw the straight lane was always packed with cars, while the turning left lane has a lot of space,” Cai told police. “So I thought changing the signs would make my commute smoother.” The BBC reports that police fined Cai the equivalent of about $151, and crews removed the new straight arrow from the road. HAIR TRIGGER Timothy Colton, 28, is cooling off in the Clark County (Nevada) Detention Center after being charged with arson and the attempted murder of his 66-year-old mother, who has limited mobility. The Nov. 27 altercation apparently started over a laundry dispute, but North Las Vegas police said Colton became aggressive and threatened to kill his mother and burn the house down. Fox News reports that Colton set fire to the front door and then ran away to hide under a car in a nearby parking lot, where officers found him. Police said he was “kicking the back seat door and hitting his head on the plastic partition between the front and rear seats” in the patrol car during his arrest. He was being held on $100,000 bail. WHEN YA GOTTA GO... Nemy Bautista of
Sacramento, California, will not be posting a five-star review to Amazon this holiday season following not one but two alarming experiences. On Nov. 28, Bautista returned home to find a pile of what he thought was dog poo at the end of his driveway. But after reviewing his security camera footage, he discovered the poop perp was in fact a contract delivery driver for Amazon, driving a U-Haul truck. Bautista watched as the female driver squatted by the side of the truck, partially concealed by the open door, and left her mark. Bautista called Amazon to complain, and a supervisor arrived hours later to bag up the evidence. The next day, Bautista got another package from Amazon, but the delivery person “tossed the package ... instead of walking up the driveway,” Bautista told FOX40. He said the package contained a “fragile porcelain figurine,” but it didn’t break. Maybe the delivery person was afraid of stepping in something?
ON THE NAUGHTY LIST (1) A man in Australia couldn’t wait for Santa to deliver his Christmas wish: a 5 1/2-foot-tall “Dorothy model” sex doll. So, according to the Victoria Police Kingston Crime Investigation Unit, he broke into an adult entertainment store in Moorabbin on Dec. 4 by cutting through a fence with bolt cutters and smashing his way through the door. After quickly loading Dorothy into the back of his van, he took
off. Security cameras caught the event, but the thief was disguised with stockings and a balaclava pulled over his head. (2) A mall Santa working the weekend shift in late November got more than he bargained for at Dufferin Mall in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, when an unnamed woman unloaded a sleighfull of obscenities on him, saying, “Do you have a sleigh? No? ... You’re not magic! You’re not even real! I heard about it when I was a young kid!” A bystander with a cellphone captured the tirade on video, reported the New York Post, and true to his spirit, St. Nick kept his composure and tried not to engage with the elf-hater. A mall spokesperson said the woman left without further incident.
THE PASSING PARADE Faye Preston of Hull, Yorkshire, England, loves her neighborhood, even the homeless folks who gently ask for change — or, in Preston’s case, make love in her driveway. She stepped out one night in November to smoke a cigarette and saw a couple under a blanket in her drive, and decided to let them be. But when she went out the next morning, “They were having actual sex on my driveway. The movement going on under the cover was unmistakable,” Preston wrote in the Hull Daily Mail. Still, she was worried about running them over, so she called police, who eventually removed them. “If I was homeless, I’d come here too,” Preston wrote. “Where else can you go for a posh meal, followed by cocktails in a swanky bar and finish the night stepping over some frisky homeless people fornicating on your driveway?” A MESSAGE FROM GOD? An 18thcentury statue of the crucified Jesus that was removed for restoration from the church of St. Agueda in Burgo de Osma, Spain, held a surprise in a most unusual spot. As historians removed from Jesus’s backside a section of the carving meant to look like a cloth, they discovered two handwritten letters dated 1777 and signed by Joaquin Minguez, thenchaplain of the cathedral. Minguez details life in the community, including harvest reports and diseases, and tells about the sculpture’s artist, Manuel Bal. Historian Efren Arroyo told the Spanish newspaper El Mundo it appears Minguez intended his letters to be a sort of time capsule. The original letters were sent to the Archbishop of Burgos for archiving, but copies were returned to Jesus’s hindquarters to honor Minguez’s intent. MODERN
TIMES The Jilin Daily newspaper in eastern China has provided a handy guide for residents about what to do in case of a nuclear attack from North Korea. Cartoons illustrate how to wash radioactive contaminants from shoes with water and use cotton swabs to clean out ears. “If war breaks out,” commented the state-backed Global Times, “it is not possible to rule out the Korean Peninsula producing nuclear contaminants, and countermeasures must be ... spoken openly about to let the common folk know. But at the same time, there is absolutely no reason to be alarmed.” CLCLT.COM | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | 7
NEWS
SELFIE (September) On September 13, an Apple product apparently became self-aware. A 51-year-old man living in the Montibello neighborhood of south Charlotte called police after things got a little weird with his phone. The man told police that the phone inexplicably began taking pictures of his daughter all on its own one day at around 6:30 p.m. The man is unaware whether the phone was hacked by some third party or if its AI is just that creepy.
BLOTTER
BEST OF THE BLOTTER 2017
TOW CREEPS (November) It’s not just
Shots fired BY RYAN PITKIN
IT’S THAT TIME of year again when
we look back on the shitshow that was 2017 and feel thankful that at least we didn’t have it as bad as some of the folks in The Blotter. Some themes prevailed as we sifted through the entire year of bizarre crime. As politicians, Hollywood big wigs and other people in power fell to allegations of sexual harassment and abuse, we were reminded that misogyny is ingrained in all parts of our society, and while we purposefully refrain from including sexual assault or the like in what’s normally a comedic column, there were six instances of folks acting out that we felt deserved to be pointed out. The other usual suspects could be found roaming the pages of this year’s police reports, from family members gone mad to thieves hatching brand new plots to rob unsuspecting victims blind. We start in as good a place as any, with those folks who just have no business owning guns...
didn’t think to slow down — until she had a pistol pointed at her.
WATCH YOUR BACK (February) A man’s stepfather might be giving him the side-eye from here on out after a so-called accident in his home. Police responded to the stepfather’s home after his stepson was visiting at 10:30 p.m. and suddenly fired his gun. The stepson said it was a mistake, and that the handgun only went off because he had put it down on the ground too hard. Unsurprisingly, alcohol was involved in the incident.
DEATH FROM ABOVE (March) A woman
who owns an apartment complex in the University area filed a police report after one
WHO SHOT YA? MEETING YOUR NEIGHBORS (January) A man thought he was being targeted when a bullet came flying into his southeast Charlotte apartment, but a later investigation found that his neighbor was just being careless. The 30-year-old victim and his 37-yearold roommate had reported that someone fired a shot through the wall and into their apartment at around 9 p.m. one night. Police responded to investigate, and added to the report about nine hours later: It was determined the victims’ next door neighbor had accidentally detonated a bullet casing while trying to disassemble his gun. SELF PROTECTION (January) A police officer was shocked to almost witness a man shoot his wife to death in Cornelius, and the man was probably even more shocked to learn what had happened. The man had apparently pulled his motorcycle into an alley in front of his house when he saw a car pull into the alley on the other side. The car continued to drive toward him without slowing down, so he pulled his gun and aimed it directly at the windshield. An officer doing rounds in the neighborhood saw the man pointing the gun and exited his own vehicle. It was soon found that the car was driven by the man’s wife, who saw her husband but planned to pull into the driveway before she reached him, so she 8 | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | CLCLT.COM
OH WELL (September) A 29-year-old man
filed a police report after his own stupidity led to a firearm landing, literally, on the streets of west Charlotte last week. The man told police that he left his home near the airport at around 5 p.m. one afternoon and simply forgot that he had left his Taurus PT111 handgun in its holster on the roof of the car as he got inside and drove away. When he realized it, he tried to retrace his route, but the gun was gone.
in Hollywood or the country’s political halls that sexism, misogyny and harassment run rampant; those are just the places where it’s been making headlines lately. One east Charlotte woman’s experience proved that these problems are just a part of day-to-day life for women, as she wasn’t even able to get her car out of a tow company’s lot without facing disgusting harassment. The woman reported to police that she called the suspect to get her car back after it was towed and was quoted a price she thought was high. When she remarked on how high the price was, the man “made an improper offer to discount the price,” according to the report.
GROUP SEXT (December) A couple in their
mid-50s were alarmed when some unknown person hopped into the wrong group text with them and other members of their
SOMETHING IN THE AIR WANNA PARTY? (March) Two 19-year-old women were a bit shaken after coming into contact — although not physical contact, thankfully — with a hitchhiker who may have had too much to drink that night, but was a predator any way you look at it. The girls told officers they were driving down Mallard Creek Road near the intersection of Prosperity Church Road at 1:30 a.m. when a man suddenly approached their car with no clothes on and tried to get in. Luckily, he wasn’t able to do so and they drove to safety. COUGAR (May) A 61-year-old woman was
picked up in north Charlotte on a night when she felt young and free again ... but perhaps too young and free. Police said they responded to a call off of Graham Street at about 10:30 p.m. one night. When they arrived they found the woman walking peacefully down the road with no clothes on.
of her tenants blew his load, endangering a neighbor. The woman told officers the man accidentally shot through the floor of his apartment with a shotgun, with the resulting blast going through the ceiling of the apartment below him. Nobody was injured, just maybe a little shocked.
TOOLS (June) Someone called police when a
31-year-old construction worker accidentally fired his pistol while climbing down a ladder at a construction site on South Boulevard. The man told officers he kept his pistol in a holster on his waistband, but that somehow it still misfired. Nobody was harmed in the incident.
KARMIC JUSTICE (April) A Good
Samaritan did the right thing when he caught a pervert in action in east Charlotte. According to the police report, the witness caught a man peeping into the window of a 10-year-old girl’s bedroom while she was inside. While we wouldn’t usually include such offenses in this relatively lighthearted column, we would like to cheer on the person who caught him, as the report states that the suspect had to be transported to Novant Presbyterian before he could be taken to jail, due to “injuries incurred by the witness” while he detained the suspect and waited for police to arrive.
family, then refused to stop sending lewd texts. The couple told police that they were a part of a group text that included them and seven others, when a number nobody recognized began sending “inappropriate and unsolicited” messages. The suspect was told to stop and warned that some of the people on the group text were minors, but they sent four more, damaging young minds for years to come.
GHOSTRIDE THE WHIP GRAND SLAM (January) The tennis courts
are closed late at night in Spring Lake in
east Charlotte, but that wasn’t stopping one committed resident from gaining access one winter night. Police responding to calls about an apparent car wreck just after midnight found that someone had run off the road and through the fence of the tennis court, doing $1,000 in damage. The driver fled the scene, leaving the vehicle on the court with a score of love.
CAN I CRASH HERE? An underage drunk driver was found to be inebriated after crashing his car in east Charlotte. Officers responded to a call involving the suspect, who had been involved in an accident at 7:30 a.m. in which he struck a house. Officers administered sobriety tests to the driver, which should have just been a quick, onequestion test: Did you just drive into a fucking home?
WHATCHA GET? INTO THIN AIR (February) A 72-year-old woman was left quite literally breathless after someone stole her life source from the back of a truck in west Charlotte. The woman reported that someone had taken a $750 portable oxygen tank from the trunk when she forgot it had been left there for two hours one afternoon. BLACK PHILLIP (March) In what appears
to be a Blotter first (at least in the eight years I’ve been familiar with the column), a 15-year-old girl in northeast Charlotte reported that someone stole her goat, allegedly carrying it off the property while she was away.
SILLY TOYS (March) A man made a big
scene in a University area sex shop last week after deciding he really wanted to go fuck himself, and nobody was going to stop him. According to the report, the man walked into The Red Door on North Tryon Street and grabbed a Pipedream Extreme “Fuck Me Silly Mega Masturbation” toy and made for the door. Before anyone could even confront him, he began threatening that he had a gun and that nobody should try to keep him from leaving the store.
MODERN ART (March) Security guards
at a north Charlotte Walmart got quite a show last week as they watched a suspect who had been shoplifting, and then decided to take things to the next level. At first, security noticed the suspect concealing seeral items: some clothing, a candle, some bananas. Security continued to watch while waiting for the police, and that’s when things got weird. According to the report, “the suspect began to open small jars of paint and consume them.” The suspect attempted to leave the store but was stopped and was found to be impaired — although it’s unclear whether that was a cause or effect of the paint consumption — and had been banned from several other Walmarts. Helpfully noted at the end of the report: “The merchandise was recovered, except for the consumed paint.”
FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS COVER YOUR TRACKS (February)
A report recently surfaced from early in
January when a slight dusting of snow struck Charlotte, not necessarily justifying everyone’s trips to the store for milk and bread but apparently still making things difficult for thieves. Police responded to a man’s duplex apartment in east Charlotte after the man found that his car had been stolen. The man said he walked out to the spot where he had parked his Chevrolet Silverado, only to find that it was gone. He followed a set of footprints in the snow from the parking spot directly back to the door of the duplex apartment attached to his. It was later found that — surprise! — the neighbor living there had taken his car without permission.
FRANKENSTEIN (August) While it’s a fairly common expression to ask someone who’s not acting right if their head is screwed on straight, a man in Third Ward took it upon himself to find out when he fought his roommate last week. A 52-year-old man living near the Johnson & Wales University campus called police and told them that his 60-year-old roommate was drunk and had stabbed him in the head with a screwdriver. Both men were taken to the hospital, where they were both treated for minor injuries, before the older of the two was arrested for assault. GET OFF MY LAWN (August) Police officers must have been rolling their eyes when they had to respond to a neighborly dispute in east Charlotte last week because a man would not stand for seeing his neighbor help out with the landscaping. The 54-yearold “victim” in this case called police on one of his neighbors for trespassing on his yard because she was spreading mulch in her own
go inside and get the medicine for her while she relaxed in the car. When the woman got home, she realized the seal had already been broken and 12 pills were missing from the bottle. When she called the pharmacy, they confirmed that the seal was unbroken when they gave the bottle to the good Samaritan.
FAMILY MATTERS STOP THE CYCLE (February) A group
of relatives in the University area decided to take matters into their own hands after realizing that a younger member of the family was getting bullied. Although it’s unclear how many people were on each side, what is clear from the report is that six people, all of them neighbors representing one of two houses on the streets, came together to discuss the bullying. Before it was said and done, the two groups came to blows. All six of the victims/suspects suffered minor injuries in the affray, with a 41-year-old woman and 67-year-old man needing to be transported to the hospital for treatment. Nobody was seriously hurt.
COLD BLOODED (June) A 76-year-old yard and he thought some might have gone onto his property and up against his privacy fence. Bah humbug.
FINDERS FEE (November) A 60-year-old woman recently filed a police report after realizing someone pretending to do her a favor was really just stealing drugs from her. The woman told police that a friend drove her to a pharmacy on Albemarle Road to pick up her Oxycodone prescription. Wouldn’t you know it, the sweet man even offered to
man suffered a scary incident in southwest Charlotte, but perhaps more scary was the realization he was forced to make later that his daughter is evil. The man was transported to the hospital by ambulance during a medical emergency one night, but before he left, he gave his wallet to his adult, live-in daughter for safekeeping. Apparently that was the wrong person to give it to, because when he returned home his daughter was nowhere to be found, and when he checked his bank account he found that someone used his debit card to spend $150. CLCLT.COM | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | 9
NEWS
police that he met with a man who had contacted him about possibly buying his dirt bike for $2,000. The meeting didn’t last long, as when the potential buyer showed up he immediately asked if he could sit atop the dirt bike and start it up. The seller gave his permission, and before he knew it, he was watching his dirt bike ride down the rode, never to be seen again.
BLOTTER
MOMMY’S HOME (June) A woman in
north Charlotte filed a missing person report for her 3-year-old son, although it’s unclear that the person who has the child has any idea he is now considered a kidnapper. The woman told police that the boy was with a man who for three years has been “led to believe” that the boy was his son. The woman told police she recently received “new proof” that the man was not actually the child’s father, and wants to regain custody of her son. It’s unclear what sort of mother she has been over that time because now she says she doesn’t even know how to get in contact with the man who is apparently taking care of her son.
FAKE DUES (May) Counterfeit currency
has been making the rounds in Charlotte lately, as a couple reports have surfaced about folks using the fake money to purchase things from auction sites online. According to one victim, she was given $964.24 for an iPhone 7 she sold over the internet, but after meeting the buyer and getting the money, she found that only the 24 cents was real. Another man sold his 55-inch television for $55 dollars of what turned out to be theatrical money only meant as a movie prop.
PROTECT AND SERVE
EXTRA GREASE (June) Police responded
to the Shannon Green apartments in the College Downs neighborhood after a sibling rivalry took a violent turn. A 20-year-old man told officers he was lounging around in his apartment at 9 p.m., completely unaware that his relaxing night was about to end horribly. The man said his sister surprised him by entering the apartment uninvited, and she quickly made clear that she wasn’t there for a friendly visit. She immediately threw hot oil on her brother, hitting his chest and arms and burning him to the point of peeling in certain areas. As bad as that sounds, the man was brought to the hospital and listed as having only minor injuries.
SMASH AND PLUNGE (July) A 25-year-
old woman called police last week after her attempt to live with her child’s father went unsurprisingly wrong. She would later tell police that she was staying for the week at the northeast Charlotte house when her former lover’s new girlfriend became upset about the new house guest. The suspect then used a toilet plunger to smash the mother’s car windshield, before trying to flee into her own car. She didn’t make it far, however, as she crashed into the victim’s car before she was able to make it out of the yard.
LOST LOVE (September) A 25-year-old Raleigh woman made a trip to the Queen City after learning the hard way that she was not only getting a divorce — she was already divorced. The woman told police that she was at work one day when the suspect, who represented the man she thought was still her husband, came by to “collect” her vehicle on behalf of the husband. The woman asked him what right he had to take the car, and the man told her that she was officially divorced three months earlier, and that, unbeknownst to her, he had forged her signature on official divorce papers in the Mecklenburg County Courthouse at that time.
PLOTTERS AND SCHEMERS HELP, SOMEONE (March) A 21-year-old
man finally decided to go to police after doing some investigating into a bill he got for a ride he didn’t take. The man told officers 10 | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | CLCLT.COM
OVERZEALOUS (March) An embarrassed
that in December 2016 he received a bill for an ambulance transport that happened just a month before. Seeing as how an ambulance ride to the hospital would be an experience one would normally remember, he was shocked, as he hadn’t suffered any injuries over the past month. The man did some digging and found in the hospital records that the victim of the actual injury had showed the unknowing man’s driver’s license to paramedics, and therefore charged his trip to the healthy victim.
GENIUS (March) A 21-year-old man in southwest Charlotte called police after falling victim to perhaps the most clever marketing ploy ever pulled off in The Blotter. The man told police that he returned home from work one day to find that his house had been broken into. Nothing was stolen or damaged, and the man told officers that the only evidence he could find of someone being in his home was a flyer for an alarm company laying on the table that he knows wasn’t there in the morning. The man said he now felt uneasy after finding the flyer, which is perfect because he’s literally holding the potential solution to his unease in his hands. Time to call the alarm company. FAKE-TOR (April) A 42-year-old man in
the Highland Creek area filed a police report after he was scammed by a man pretending to be a realtor. The victim is planning to sell his home, and told police that he was talking to carpet cleaners when the suspect rang his doorbell and said he was a realtor who may be able to bring some potential buyers by for a tour, but he would need to tour the house himself first. The victim let him take a look around on his own while he continued to
converse with the carpet cleaners, but the man was no realtor. During this little tour of the property, the suspect cleaned him out for more than $6,200 worth of jewelry and technology, including five watches, an iPod touch and a wedding ring.
ANIMORPH (June) Employees at the
Humane Society of Charlotte near Dilworth filed a police report after realizing that someone had accepted some drugs that were meant for animals. The employees reported that a shipment of injectable morphine had apparently been intercepted, as they did not receive it even though someone had signed for it when UPS delivered it. The employees did not recognize the signature and have no idea who might have accepted the package. As high as that person is right now they probably don’t know who they are, either.
BAIT AND SWITCH (August) Employees at a local jewelry store filed a police report after they were scammed into buying a fake gold bracelet. The employees at Ballantyne Jewelers told police that the suspects came in and showed them a gold bracelet, which store associates verified as real before offering them $500 for it. The suspects agreed, but then at some point before the bracelet actually changed hands, a suspect switched the bracelet with a fake one when the associates looked the other way. The associates were easily able to tell the difference, but not before the suspects left the business with the $500. TEST DRIVE (February) A 23-year-old man
filed a police report after regretting that he got too comfortable with a potential buyer for his dirt bike last week. The man told
officer had to file a report on himself after damaging someone’s property. According to the report, the officer was knocking on the door of a house in west Charlotte and got a little too aggressive. The officer said he could see people inside that weren’t coming to the door, so his answer was to knock louder on a nearby window, although he knew they already heard him. The intimidation tactic didn’t work, however, and the officer simply knocked through the window, doing $100 in damage when he shattered the one he was knocking on.
CLOSE CALL (June) Police officers in
“Snoopy,” the CMPD’s helicopter, found Charlotte’s skies to be none too friendly when they were flying near Uptown last week, as they survived a near miss that they didn’t see until the last moment. The officers reported that they were flying about 600 feet above South Mint Street at around 9 p.m. when suddenly they realized they were on a crash course with a drone, which could hypothetically hit a propeller and crash the chopper. The officers said the drone got within 20 feet of the helicopter before the CMPD pilot was able to veer away. Ground units searched nearby for the person controlling the drone but were unable to find them.
POLICE BRUTALITY (October) A police
officer had to file a report on himself after a little community outreach took a bad turn in south Charlotte. According to the report, a uniformed cop was playing basketball with some kids in the Sterling neighborhood and when he went up for a jump shot, his utility belt scraped across the face of an 11-year-old boy, creating a “rug burn type of scratch,” according to the report, and a cut on the inside of his lip, making him the first person to ever get pistol whipped by accident.
RECRUITMENT (October) Police officers
posing as prostitutes are usually more apt to catch a john than a pimp, but that’s not what happened over the summer during one Vice squad sting. According to a report from July
THAT’S JUST WEIRD WELCOME
HOME
(March) Police responded to a First Ward apartment in Uptown after a woman woke up to something far worse than a newspaper on her doorstep. The woman told officers that at some point, an unknown suspect had defecated on her welcome mat. She told police that she attempted to clean the mat but couldn’t possibly do so to her standards, so she had to throw it away. Who could blame her?
that was only recently released, an undercover police officer arrested a man who tried to get her to work for him on McCullough Drive in the University area. He was let down to find out that the only pimp she answers to is the CMPD.
EXTREME FAILS CASH BE INSIDE, HOW BOUT DAT
(March) Police responded to a BB&T in northwest Charlotte after some unknown suspect(s) put a whole lot of effort into robbing the unrobbable. Employees showed officers where the thieves pried open the metal door and broke the deadlock to an outdoor ATM overnight, only to learn that they still couldn’t access any cash. They did $1,000 in damage, with nothing to show for all that effort.
BRIGHT IDEA (September) A 22-year-old
man called police after he and his friend were playing with a flare gun and ... well, you know what happened next. Officers found the man in the hospital being treated for nonlife threatening injuries (luckily) and he told them the story. He said that he and his friend were playing with the gun but not planning to shoot it (sure) when suddenly it went off and he was struck square in the forehead with a flare.
PAY ATTENTION Police responded to Omega Sports on Park Road after three suspects ran from the store holding a total of 24 Carolina Panthers jerseys, worth $100 each. In the end, Omega may have come out on top, as they’ll surely be repaid through insurance and they probably didn’t want some of the merchandise anyway. Let me explain. Of the 24 jerseys stolen, 10 were Luke Kuechly jerseys, five were Greg Olsen, and nine were Kelvin Benjamin. Whoever grabbed the Benjamin jerseys probably had hell to pay with his co-conspirators once they were able to do inventory, as Benjamin had been traded from the Panthers four days before the incident, making his Panthers jersey all but worthless.
NAP TIME (May) Police responded to a Rite Aid in the University area after someone decided to make themselves at home inside the store. Employees told officers the suspect was in the store for two hours, an odd amount of time to spend in any pharmacy, but they may have just been moving slowly because they were tired. When employees realized they could no longer find the man but hadn’t seen him leave, they checked the bathroom, where they found him fast asleep. He apparently had taken quite a fall when he passed out, too, because he had broken the wall off the stall he was found in. TOP DOWN (July) Police responded to a
CookOut near UNC Charlotte after a woman refused to move ahead in the drive-thru line, which if you’ve ever been hungry in a CookOut line you know means something is terribly wrong. When officers arrived they found the woman passed out in her car wearing only a bikini. Officers noticed the car was still running and in drive, so they carefully put it in park and turned it off before waking her up. She soon admitted that she drank some beer, which had already become obvious long before she even realized she was getting the attention she didn’t actually crave.
BARTER (August) Management at the Quail Valley on Carmel apartment complex in south Charlotte checked their night deposit box one morning to find that someone didn’t have the money to pay their rent but offered up something even better. The apartment manager called police and turned over a bag of marijuana, a bag of cocaine and a single pill that was found in the night deposit box on the last morning of the month. This would be a great replacement for rent, except the entire stash was valued at only $16. You’re going to have to do a little better than that for a month’s rent. HITMAN (August) Police responded to a
7-Eleven in the University area after someone was threatening to beat up a 13-year-old kid, but didn’t have it in them to actually commit the crime themselves. The young victim and witnesses told officers that the suspect told the boy that he was going to “kick his ass,” but then apparently had second thoughts, because he started offering money to random customers walking through the parking lot if they would be willing to kick the kid’s ass for him. No one accepted. All stories are pulled from police reports at CMPD headquarters. Suspects are innocent until proven guilty. BACKTALK@CLCLT.COM
NEWS
NEWSBITE
NO, DIDDY ISN’T BUYING THE PANTHERS And you can’t be serious BY RYAN PITKIN
ON SUNDAY NIGHT, what had to be the
most scandalous weekend for the Carolina Panthers since they came into being 22 years ago came to a close with Diddy posting a video to social media saying he wanted to buy the Panthers, and people taking him seriously. How the hell did we get to this point in just three days? It began on Friday, with vague rumblings about the misconduct of Panthers owner Jerry Richardson and news that the team was handling its own investigation into the allegations. On Saturday, the NFL announced it would be taking over the investigation, and things got a little more serious. On Sunday, just before the Panthers took the field to face the Green Bay Packers at Bank of America Stadium, Sports Illustrated published a story detailing some of the allegations against Richardson, which included his interest in “grooming” women, even asking some of his female employees if he could shave their legs. The article also reported that Richardson had reached a settlement with a former African-American scout for the team after using a racial slur toward him. Later in the afternoon, the Panthers released a statement from Richardson stating that he would be looking to sell the team at the close of the current season. “I believe that it is time to turn the franchise over to new leadership,” the disgraced owner wrote. “Therefore, I will put the team up for sale at the conclusion of this NFL season. We will not begin the sale process, nor will we entertain any inquiries, until the very last game is played. I hope everyone in this organization, both on and off the field, will be firmly focused on just one mission: to play and win the Super Bowl.” And that’s how we arrived at Diddy’s Sunday night posting, and all that was wrong with it. The first thing we noticed while watching this video is that Diddy refers to the team as the North Carolina Panthers. That shit just ain’t right. Sure, it’s easy for Charlotteans to joke about that being how it should be, but the mistake is indicative of a larger issue: Diddy has no connection to the Panthers or the city of Charlotte, whatsoever. Shortly after his video, Diddy tweeted a picture of himself wearing a Panthers jersey in 2003, the season when the team went to the Super Bowl (played in 2004). His caption read, in part, “This picture was taken back in
Let’s get serious for a second, Diddy. 2003. This is God’s work. It’s time!!” Diddy wore a Marshall Faulk jersey in the video for “Trade It All, Pt. II,” in 2002. Was he meant to buy the Rams, too? Diddy’s caption goes on to state, “ATTN all @NFL owners, it’s time for diversity!! It’s time for Black ownership!! The time is now. Let’s make it happen!!” Yes! With that we can agree all the way. But let’s find someone with maybe some sort of vested interest in our city, no? That being said, hometown hero Stephen Curry did respond to Diddy’s tweets saying he was down to take part in some sort of partnership, but that only added to the feeling that this is all just sort of a joke. It would be fun to imagine Curry, a diehard Panthers fan and supporter, as the team’s owner in, say, 20 years, but the idea that he could be anything other than a silent partner owning a tiny percentage of the team while still actively playing in the NBA — which overlaps seasons with the NFL — is ludicrous. Then we have Diddy’s announcement that he would “address the Colin Kaepernick situation” by bringing him in to compete for the starting quarterback job. Again, we’re all for Kaepernick getting a job in the NFL — if he wants to, which he hasn’t said he does — and he’d be a better backup than the Panthers have now. But Diddy seems to be forgetting a key point here — that we already have a franchise quarterback whom the team is built around. If you’re trying to build up good graces with the random strangers of the Carolinas (both of them), you probably don’t want to post videos stating that your first order of business, if you were to take over their team, would be to put the golden-guy quarterback’s job in jeopardy. I say all this without mentioning the fact that even if Diddy were to liquidate all of his assets and put every cent of his net worth toward buying a share of the Panthers, it wouldn’t cover half of the team’s worth. Or, we could discuss the sexual harassment lawsuit from May that paints Diddy in a much worse light than any of the gross allegations against Richardson. We say that to say this: If you believe that man has a chance of buying the Panthers, we here at CL have a team to sell you. RPITKIN@CLCLT.COM CLCLT.COM | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | 11
Santa welcomes you to Lang Van on Shamrock Drive.
FEATURE
FOOD
GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM! Lang Van owner Dan Nguyen is a bright light in Charlotte’s culinary scene BY MARK KEMP
D
AN NGUYEN HAD been living
out of her car when the original owner of Lang Van, the popular Vietnamese restaurant on Shamrock Drive in Charlotte, scooped her up and put her to work. That was 17 years ago, just after Nguyen arrived here from Saigon to join her husband, Tuyen Tran, who had already been living in the United States for several years. “I come here very poor, no money, nothing. I sleep in the car three months,” Nguyen says, and then pauses, her eyes welling with tears. “And your country. . .,” she begins, and then pauses again to make a lifting motion with her hands. “It lifted you up?” I offer. “Yes, it lift me.” Nguyen’s English still isn’t all that great, but she communicates perfectly well in many other ways. The 45-year-old restaurateur with highlights in her hair and a huge smile across her face embraces Lang Van’s customers as they arrive through the restaurant’s front corridor, which is flanked by bamboo poles that shoot up toward the ceiling. Her eyes sparkle like the 12 | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | CLCLT.COM
Christmas lights that dangle from the poles each year during the holiday season. When Nguyen says, “I love my customers,” you get the feeling it’s no exaggeration. “I love my customers too much,” she says. “Your country? Very, very nice.”
LONG BEFORE PHO was a phenomenon,
there was Lang Van, the oldest surviving Vietnamese restaurant in Charlotte, founded 27 years ago inside a small, box-like building where Shamrock meets Eastway Drive. You’ve passed it before if you’ve ever taken Shamrock from NoDa or Plaza Midwood to the Charlotte Museum of History. If you’ve never stopped for lunch or dinner, you’re in for a pleasant surprise when you do. Upon entering, the first thing you notice is the bamboo foyer that makes you feel as though you’ve entered a private tiki party. The second is the warm embrace you’ll get from Lan Van’s longtime owner. Born in Tuy Hoa, in South Vietnam, during the waning days of the Vietnam War, Nguyen was in her early 20s when she met and married Tran.
“I’m too young,” she says of her decision to marry so soon. “I don’t know him.” Tran soon left for the United States, leaving Nguyen behind for five years before returning to bring her back with him to Charlotte in 1999. “Before I leave my country, no good,” Nguyen says, recalling a Vietnam still traumatized by the war. She furrows her brow: “The war — it was terrible.” Not that life was easy at first in Charlotte. “I was scared,” Nguyen said, in Vietnamese, in a November oral history interview, translated by her son Henry, that she did for Southern Foodways Alliance. “I didn’t have opportunities in Vietnam, so I came here.” Nguyen and her husband struggled to find work, but an encounter with a woman named No Duong provided the foothold they needed. Duong’s family was already well-known in Charlotte for their Vietnamese food. In 1990, they had had opened Lang Van, named for a very early nation state that was the predecessor of Vietnam; No Duong’s brother, Cuong Duong, would later open Ben Thanh, named for the large market in Saigon (now Ho Chi Minh City) where Vietnamese people
have shopped for fresh foods since the 1800s. No and Cuong’s mother, Ngan Nguyen (no relation to Dan), logged time cooking at both restaurants. The Duong family — ten children: eight girls and two boys — had moved to Charlotte from Vietnam in the early 1980s, working in Chinese restaurants before opening Lang Van. By the time Dan Nguyen began working at Lang Van in 1999, it was already a hotspot among Asian restaurants in Charlotte. “My owner, she loved the customer here, and I work with her a long, long time, maybe five years,” Nguyen remembers. “She was very good owner. She clean it, she take care of customers very well and I learn from her.” Nguyen rose quickly, becoming part-owner of Lang Van in 2004 and the restaurant’s full owner by 2009. Duong eventually left for the West Coast. “She hold me close and cry a lot,” Nguyen remembers, the tears returning to her own eyes. “She ask me, ‘You take care of customers, OK?’ And I say, ‘Don’t worry.’ She love, love, love the customers here. She ask me a lot, and I say, ‘You don’t worry!’”
The ginger tofu will fill you up but won’t weigh you down.
“I COME HERE VERY POOR, NO MONEY, NOTHING. I SLEEP IN THE CAR THREE MONTHS. AND YOUR COUNTRY ... IT LIFT ME.” -DAN NGUYEN
Lang Van during the holidays is like a tiki party in the North Pole.
FOR A HANDFUL of years, Duong had
tapped Nguyen to help her plan the menus, and the young upstart quickly learned to cook and interact with customers under Duong’s mentorship. “I didn’t have opportunities in Vietnam, so I came here,” Nguyen said in the Southern Foodways oral history project. “This restaurant gave me the social skills that I have now, and they helped me integrate with other people so that I understood their culture. And I wanted them to understand my culture, too.” Learning the menu alone at Lang Van was a formidable task. It includes 139 dishes, from delicious appetizers to Vietnamese staples like Banh Xeo — the yellow pancake stuffed with shrimp, sliced pork and bean sprouts, and served with mint leaves — plus specials such as the ginger tofu I have during my visit to the restaurant. The subtle tinge of garlic and ginger in my tofu dish perfectly accents the stir-fried broccoli, asparagus, snow peas and carrots, which are tossed on a bed of sauteed spninach, making for an early-afternoon lunch that fills me up but doesn’t weigh me down.
“I make the tofu and every dish this morning,” Nguyen assures me. “Everybody come early in the morning, cut the vegetable every day. Every day! I don’t like vegetables no good.” When asked what her own favorite Lang Van dish is, Nguyen pauses momentarily and then reels off a list: “My favorite dish is ginger tofu like I make you,” she says. “And I like yellow pancake. And I like No. 45 [the Bun Tom, Thit Nuong, Cha Gio — a bed of bean sprouts and rice vermicelli noodles with meat, vegetables, crushed peanuts and sweet-andsour sauce, along with an eggroll], and No. 137 [a chicken lemongrass curry]. “Oh yes, and I like pineapple,” Nguyen continues, referring to the pineapple fried rice with tofu and onion, served in a bowl made from a pineapple sliced in half and gutted. Lang Van’s customers sometimes become overwhelmed perusing all the choices on the menu, but Nguyen comforts them. “Sometimes they come in, they look at me,” she says. “I tell them, ‘Don’t worry! You like chicken? You like shrimp? You like tofu? I got for you.”
Lang Van is one of the few restaurants in Charlotte that’s long been an oasis for vegetarian and vegan eaters. Nguyen says the kitchen’s staff — herself and her husband, as well as a cook that began under the previous owner — takes care to keep the meats separate from the vegetables, so that vegans don’t have to worry about contamination. Other members of the Van Lang staff include Nguyen’s cousins and nieces, as well her two children, Henry and Alice Tran. Alice, 14, says that growing up at the restaurant wasn’t always easy. “There have been [financial] hardships — you know, stuff happens sometimes,” Alice says. “But we keep persevering through those.” She’s grateful that her mother gave the children opportunities to learn how to prepare the foods of their cultural tradition. “It’s very special to me, because I feel like I’m carrying on the traditions for future generations,” Alice says. But will she continue at Lang Van after her parents retire. “I’m not sure right now,” Alice says. “I have other interests, but if there’s
PHOTOS BY MARK KEMP
LANG VAN Sun., 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Mon (closed); Tues.-Thurs., 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Fri.Sat., 11 a.m.-11 p.m. 3019 Shamrock Dr. places.singleplatform.com/lang-van
any possibility, I would like to continue the restaurant.” Alice Tran won’t have to worry about taking the reins at Lang Van for at least the time being, because Dan Nguyen is not going anywhere anytime soon. “This morning,” Nguyen says, “I take a shower, I come in, I see my cousin and my family and everybody who work together, and then my customer come in [raises her voice]: ‘Hi, how are you!’” She pauses, tears streaming down her face yet again. “That make me happy,” she says, as multi-colored holiday lights flash above her. “That make me so happy.” MKEMP@CLCLT.COM
CLCLT.COM | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | 13
THURSDAY
21
FRIDAY
22
THINGS TO DO
TOP TEN
Hip Hop Nutcracker WEDNESDAY PHOTO COURTESY OF UNITED PALACE OF CULTURAL ARTS
FRIDAY
22
DAVE STONE
DAVID CHILDERS
What: Started in Basel, Switzerland, and later expanded to Miami Beach and Hong Kong, Art Basel is one of the world’s hottest contemporary art fairs. Here in the Queen City, the Charlotte Millenial Art Program is hosting Monica King Friel, who has represented Charlotte’s SoCo Gallery in Art Basel’s “Untitled” exhibit. Friel brings stories, pictures and insight into why fairs like Basel are making such a splash in the international arts scene. Christmas cookies and beer put this over the top as a can’t-miss event.
What: Comedian Dave Stone voices cartoon characters on Adult Swim’s Squidbillies, presides over his paranormal podcast The Boogie Monster and hosts alt-country radio show The Gravy Boat. If those are not enough reasons to catch his stand-up comedy, he’s also cooked up a bitchin’ chili recipe that will make your neck sweat. A true Renaissance man! L.A. frunnywoman Katie Strandberg and local comedians Kaleigh Cutright, Jordan Scott Huggins, Evan Pittfield and Ramon Perez open the show.
What: When CL caught up with David Childers earlier this year, the Mount Holly singer-songwriter had just released his latest album, Run Skeleton Run, which offers a bone-deep look at teen isolation in today’s dark political climate. Hear those songs and earlier material when Childers joins a bill with Charlotte Cajun-and-Creole outfit Carolina Gator Gumbo and the raw sounds of It’s Snakes, featuring Hope Nicholls and Aaron Pitkin of Fetchin Bones with members of Aqualads and Chalkies.
When: 6-7:30 p.m. Where: Elder Gallery of Contemporary Art, 1520 S. Tryon
When: 8 p.m. Where: Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave.
ART BASEL
14 | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | CLCLT.COM
When: 9 p.m. Where: Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St. More: $8-$10. snugrock.com
FRIDAY
22
SATURDAY
23
A VERY GRATEFUL CHRISTMAS
NO ANGER CONTROL 5-YEAR ANNIVERSARY
What: Dead and Co., fronted by former Grateful Dead singerguitarist Bob Weir, recently brought the old jams to Charlotte, playing sub-par songs like “Hell in a Bucket” and “Standing on the Moon” from the band’s tepid final album. We’d rather see Jerry’s Kids — an N.C. Dead tribute featuring members of Charlotte’s New Familiars and regional acts like Hobex — pay homage to better Dead material at this annual show.
What: It’s been five years since Tiff, Leevai, Jason and John played their first set as a real, live band at The Milestone, so it’s only right that they return to the place they call home for their anniversary show, and they’re bringing some of their loudest friends with them. Fellow punk/metal bands like Dirty South Revolutionaries, The Beatdowns and Van Huskins will be on hand to help NAC ring in a half-decade, so get ready for a rowdy one.
When: 9 p.m. Where: Rabbit Hole, 1801 Commonwealth Ave. More: $12-$15. tinyurl.com/ RabbitHoleXmas
When: 8 p.m. Where: The Milestone, 3400 Tuckaseegee Road More: $5-7. themilestone.club
No Anger Control SATURDAY
Dave Stone FRIDAY
NEWS ARTS FOOD MUSIC ODDS
Dead Sea $crilla WEDNESDAY PHOTO COURTESY OF NO ANGER CONTROL/BANDCAMP
ARTWORK BY FRED ROCK
SATURDAY
23
SATURDAY
23
PARTIAL NERDITY
A VERY JERRY XMAS
What: Dressing up for Halloween is played out, but Christmas cosplay is where it’s at. Embrace your inner Otanku at this new nightlife event that celebrates all things anime and manga. You don’t have to dress up to dance the night away to tunes from DJs Koji, Torch and Funktavius, but a $100 costume contest offers some damn good incentive to do so. Or, just drop back and enjoy the pleasing aesthetic, as themed drink specials and talented go-go dancers are as much reason to attend as the costumes.
What: No, this isn’t another of Charlotte’s ubiquitous Jerry Garcia/ Grateful Dead tribute shows (see three entries previous). The Jerry here is electronic music wizard Jon Jerry of Abstracta Audio and Activ-Analog Records, labels on the cutting edge of techno, house and electro. Seeming to radiate from the edge of our galaxy, this is dark and mysterious stuff, where hooks and melodies emerge gradually from dense textures. Paul D and Probably Will of Knocturnal are also featured in this showcase.
When: 9 p.m. Where: SERJ, 2906 Central Ave. More: $5-10. facebook.com/
When: 10 p.m. Where: Crown Station, 3629 N. Davidson St. More: Free. crownstationpub.com
SUNDAY
24 PANTHERS VS. BUCCANEERS What: The Panthers have looked shaky at times this season, but never shakier as an organization as they did last weekend, when the team was put up for sale following sexual harassment allegations against owner Jerry RIchardson. Let’s hope the guys on the field can keep their stability in the second-to-last game of the season. They need a win against the lowly Buccaneers if they want to take the NFC South crown heading into the playoffs. This is the last game at BofA this year. When: 1 p.m. Where: Bank of America Stadium, 800 S. Mint St.
PHOTO COURTESY OF RAMON PEREZ
WEDNESDAY
27
THE HIP HOP NUTCRACKER What: Those who didn’t get enough of Clara’s adventures with the sugar plum fairies from Charlotte Ballet’s performance of The Nutcracker can rejoice. Four days after the traditional version closes, Tchaikovsky gets turned on his head with Decadancetheatre’s retelling, which transposes the timeless fable to 1980s Brooklyn. An electric violinist joins a cast of dancers and emcee Kurtis Blow, who scored his first hit with the holiday-themed “Christmas Wrapping” in 1979. When: 7 p.m. Where: Knight Theater, 430 S. Tryon St. More: $20-up. blumenthalarts.org
WEDNESDAY
27
DEAD SEA $CRILLA ALBUM RELEASE What: For the final night of their Gift Rap residency at Snug Harbor, Charlotte rappers Red Jesse and Fred Rock of Dead Sea $crilla unveil their debut album Dead Year’s Eve, which they talked about, among other things, in a recent CL music feature story as well as on last week’s edition of the Local Vibes podcast, along with local producer Justin Aswell. Also on the Gift Rap bill: unpredictable Charlotte rockers Blu House and Aswell’s hard-edged avant-instrumental band Hectagons. When: 9 p.m. Where: Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St. More: $8-$10. snugrock.com
with the Loaf’s new years eve guide coming soon
CLCLT.COM | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | 15
Arda Bagcioglu takes the stage at a recent Open Jam.
PHOTO BY PAT MORAN
OPEN JAM WITH THE SMOKIN’ JS Static, the Smokey Joe’s house band circa 1998, was Josh Daniel (from left), Chris Garges, Dan Hood and Flavio Mangione
MUSIC
PHOTO BY RACHAEL MANGIONE
Smokey Joe’s Café 510 Briar Creek Rd Tuesday nights 9 p.m. $3 smokeyjoescharlotte.com
FEATURE
CHARLOTTE STEPS UP TO SMOKEY JOE’S MIC Singers and instrumentalists live their dreams at dive bar’s Open Jam BY PAT MORAN
I
’M THE ORGANIST for the Charlotte Checkers,” Jason Atkins says. “They call me Greazy Keyz.” Atkins is onstage at Smokey Joe’s Café, making final adjustments on his keyboard as patrons filter into the beloved dive bar on Briar Creek Road. “As soon as the games finish up [at nearby Bojangles’ Coliseum] on Tuesday nights, I run right over here to set up for the show,” Atkins continues. Along with singer K. Omari Wilkerson, guitarist Chase Killough, bassist Paul Agee and drummer James Brock, Atkins is a member of the venue’s house band, The Smokin’ Js, who are ready to launch into their first set of the night. The band’s performance kicks off Smokey Joe’s Open Jam. Held every Tuesday night at 9 p.m., the weekly jam is also an open-mic night, in which professional, amateur and fledgling musicians can strut their stuff with members of the Smokin’ Js as their backing band. 16 | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | CLCLT.COM
“The open mic at Smokey Joe’s will be 20 years old next year,” says Hooter Hough, who’s seated behind the soundboard watching the band members set up. Near the front entrance, on a counter beside the soundboard, bar patron Peter Gray sets down his guitar and writes his name on a sign-up sheet for the Open Jam. The sheet is half-filled already. Hough, a friendly 64-year-old drummer, has been running sound for the Open Jam since 2002, and he’s since taken over soundboard duties on Friday and Saturday nights, when the bar features music from local bands and the occasional national touring act. Before the Open Jam started up in 1998, Smokey Joe’s didn’t do much in the way of music, Hough adds. The building wasn’t even intended as a bar, Sean Knight says. Knight, who books the bands on weekends and runs the venue’s website, began working at Smokey Joe’s in 1986, two years after the establishment opened under current owners Bob Whitman and his son Scott.
“When the place opened in 1984, I was a patron,” Knight says by phone a few days before the open mic. “I used to visit the bar and drink there,” she continues. “When I started working, I was cleaning the bar. I graduated to working the door, and then I tended bar. But now I do the band-booking and website thing.” The place began its life as Smokey Joe’s when the Whitmans bought it 33 years ago. “Before that I think the building was a home — a duplex maybe,” Knight says. “Then it became a store and a couple of biker bars, The Iron Horse and Lady Marlena’s.” Despite a few surreal touches, like a stone waterfall built into the ceiling above the bar, it’s easy to picture the building as the house it once was. The vibe on Tuesday night is warm, woody and homey — that is, if your home happened to be a shrine to classic rock. The walls are lined with rock ’n’ roll memorabilia, posters, flyers and pictures that Bob Whitman acquired over the years from estate sales and other bars, according to Knight.
Smokin’ snapshots (opposing page, clockwise from left): Hooter Hough mans the soundboard (photo by Pat Moran); Daniel shares the stage with Johnny Neel in 1998 (photo by Rachael Mangione); Smokey Joe’s classic-rock memorabilia, its tropical signage, and its kick-ass Smokin’ Js house band drummer James Brock (photos by Pat Moran). In a corner of the stage, bass player Agee starts to set up. Hough takes him some cables. When he returns to the sound console, Hough tells me that he’s indirectly responsible for getting the Open Jam started back in ’98. “I was doing sound for an open mic at a place called Misty Mountain Café just down Monroe Road,” Hough remembers. “A guy named Gavin Capousis came in and said he wanted to learn how to do sound, so I showed him a few things. “The next thing I know, he’s gone out and bought a P.A. system, and he started doing an open mic at Smokey Joe’s,” Hough says, laughing. “He just about ran me out of business!” Both Hough and Knight agree that Smokey Joe’s Open Jam really took off when local musician Josh Daniel got involved, although it was Charlotte musician Chuck Brown who actually started it, Daniel says. “At first it was an acoustic singersongwriter thing, but it started to get bigger,” Daniel remembers. “Chuck reached out to me
“I THINK I’VE PLAYED MORE AT SMOKEY JOE’S THAN ANYWHERE ELSE.” -JOSH DANIEL
because I has a rock band called Static. With our band, it became less like a traditional open mic and more like everyone jamming together.” Brown bowed out and Daniel took over the Open Jam at the tender age of 19. “I wasn’t even supposed to be in the bar at that age,” says Daniel, who is now 38. “Static would open with a set, and then we would be fill-in players for whoever signed up for the open mic. Sometimes people would bring full bands and just play sets. We were open to whatever.” Daniel and his band mates wound up playing a lot and they got a plenty of practice honing their chops. “I wound up doing it for eight years,” Daniel, who now fronts the New Familiars, remembers. “When I look back on it — I play about 150 gigs a year now, but I still think I’ve played more at Smokey Joe’s than anywhere else.” The Open Jam attracted some illustrious drop-ins, Daniel says. One night the backing
band for John Scofield, Miles Davis’ guitarist, stopped by to play — minus their leader, Scofield. One-time Allman Brothers Band member Johnny Neil also came by after finishing a set at the Neighborhood Theatre. “He ended up playing with us,” Daniel says. “We took the party back to my place after Smokey’s closed. We jammed all night long until the sun came up.” Hough remembers another famous musical guest. “One night a few years ago, the singer from Blues Traveler, John Popper, was in town for a friend’s wedding,” Hough says. “He just happened to be at the bar, when the band onstage started playing ‘Run-Around,’ by Blues Traveler. So Popper got up and started singing and playing the harmonica with them.” There are no famous faces in the crowd on this particular Tuesday night, but plenty of people are eager to sing and play onstage. Hough figures the open jam will run until about 1 a.m.
“What I like best about doing the open mic is seeing younger and less experienced musicians grow,” says Smokin’ Js singer Wilkerson. “They want to play music. It’s in their souls, but they just don’t have an outlet. We give them the platform to do that. “Every week is always different,” Atkins adds. “We’ll have some regulars come in, but every week there’s somebody new who brings their own style and flair to the show.” Moments later, the Smokin’ Js open the show with a soulful, swinging version of Prince’s “Raspberry Beret.” After four numbers in, the first sign-up for the open mic comes onstage. It’s Peter Gray, who I spotted signing the sheet earlier in the evening. Killough unplugs and steps off the stage as Grey plugs his guitar into the amp. As the band lays down a funky, elastic groove, Gray fills the spaces with exploratory guitar figures ranging from sharp and choppy to soaring and lyrical. After Gray steps offstage, I learn that he’s no novice. He tells me he did a stint as the
Smokin’ Js guitarist three years ago. Gray looks up to the stage as another guitarist, Arda Bagcioglu, plugs in. “Watch this guy,” Gray says. “He can play.” With his long, curly dark hair and leather jacket, the Turkish-born Bagcioglu looks the part of a typical rock ’n’ roller. He also sounds like one. There’s a hint of Stevie Ray Vaughn’s Hendrix-inspired blues-rock as Bagcioglu rips into a searing and gritty version of Hendrix’s “Foxy Lady.” Throughout the night, the Smokin’ Js play a supple and swinging groove, imperceptibly shifting rhythms and tone to lock in with whomever steps up to play with them. During a break in the action I find Smokin’ Js drummer James Brock and tell him that the band seems to be the perfect combination of tight and flexible. “That what we do for the people who come out to play the open mic,” Brock says smiling. “We support them and lift them up.” PMORAN@CLCLT.COM CLCLT.COM | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | 17
18 | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | CLCLT.COM
MUSIC
MUSICMAKER
COMIN’ FROM WHERE HE’S FROM Anthony Hamilton’s old singing partner, Eliah, releases his sophomore album BY MARK KEMP
WHEN ANTHONY HAMILTON left his old Charlotte R&B quartet in the early 1990s to head up to New York City and eventually become a star, one of his hometown singing partners, Eliah Keaton, took a different path. Keaton joined the military, went to college and became an account executive for a large bill payment firm. In 2014, five albums and a Grammy into Hamilton’s career, Keaton, at 40, finally emerged with his own debut, Eliah. It was a set of adult-contemporary R&B in the Will Downing or Carl Thomas vein. On Friday, December 22, Keaton, who turns 44 this week and performs and records under his first name only, will finally unveil his follow-up LP, Night and Day, during an album-release party at Loft & Cellar. The show starts at 10 p.m. Born in Brooklyn, New York, and raised from 12 on in Charlotte, Eliah began singing in church and later joined the choir at Garinger High School, where he befriended another Charlotte musician made good, R&B singer Sunshine Anderson. “She and I were voted Most Likely to Succeed, male and female,” Eliah remembers. “She’s a real sweetheart.” Creative Loafing recently caught up with Eliah to find out what took him so damn long to begin charting his own musical journey. Creative Loafing: Did Anthony Hamilton’s continued success motivate you to get back into music? Eliah: Yes, and I’m very proud of what Anthony’s done. He’s also given me some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten. Before my first record came out, I was scared, you know, and he said, “Don’t worry about what people think. I’m living proof that you can do it, because at first nobody wanted to give me a chance.” Then every time we would see each other after that, he’d be like, “Hey man, are you still singing? You gotta do it! It’s never too late.” When the first record finally came out, he just said, “It’s about time!” [laughs] You grew up in a church-going family — is that where you began singing? I was very much involved with my family and church in Brooklyn. I’m related to Albert Jamison, who was over the GMWAC, the Gospel Music Workshop of America, and he knew all these big-name gospel artists: Hezekiah Walker, James Cleveland — they always came to our church. So I was exposed to a lot of great musicians there and had more access to instruments than your average kid. Why did your family move to Charlotte? My mother was a single parent and I was an only child, and she thought it’d be better for us to move down here to kind of keep
me out of trouble and give me more male representation in my life. I had an uncle who lived here, and he said, “Come to Charlotte, the schools are good.” When did you realize you wanted to sing secular music? I sang in the chorus at Garinger. That’s where Sunshine Anderson and I met. We were in honors choir together, and we sang classical music — Bach, Handel — and competed in competitions. A lady by the name of Mrs. Kinsey was our teacher, and she would spend time with us after school, teaching us how to read music to further our gift. She was very instrumental. She helped me find my own voice. I knew what I liked to listen to and what I wanted to sound like at a very early age. She just helped to kind of mold that. And what did you like to listen to? Teddy Riley, Stevie Wonder, all the great gospel singers. I’m an old soul. I like everything from Otis Redding, Donny Hathaway, Marvin Gaye, Ray Charles — Motown, Stax, all that — but I also liked blues and old country music. I was the first child on both sides of my family; I didn’t have any cousins until I was about 10, so a lot of times I was in the company of adults and didn’t listen to what kids my age were listening to. Also, I loved the beauty of classical music, jazz, Frank Sinatra. People think Sinatra has such a mellow voice, but his material is very difficult to sing. There’s a lot of nuance in it, a lot of breath control. It’s a grace that takes years to master. I’m just a fan of great music and melodies. Yet you came of age during hip-hop’s golden age. Did that influence you at all? Oh, sure. But my family was so religious and so heavily into the church — everybody in my family are ministers, evangelists, whatever — I couldn’t listen to hip-hop at home. Hiphop was the rock ’n’ roll of my generation, you know. Adults thought it was ridiculous, pointless, it didn’t mean anything, but now, 30 years later, it’s still here. What I liked about hip-hop was that, similar to the way rock ’n’ roll and rhythm ’n’ blues fed off gospel, hiphop fed off earlier R&B and rock ’n’ roll. Like when Run-DMC did “Walk This Way” with Aerosmith. Hip-hop took those older styles and added a different kind of artistry to it. You had real poets speaking their truths over this music, and that helped me to identify with other kids my age who may have lived on the West Coast but were going through the same things I was going through. Hip-hop also sampled a lot of the music that I loved: James Brown, Sly and the Family Stone. A lot of early hip-hop brought
Eliah that older music to my generation. So my music kind of gets whatever edge it has from hip-hop. Sounds like where Anthony Hamilton was coming from on his early albums. Absolutely. And you know, the group he and I were in together, Unique By Design, was the very first group I was ever in. We spelled the name hip-hop style; I can’t remember exactly how we spelled it — maybe “Da Zyne” or something — but it wasn’t conventional. Your first LP is pretty straightforward R&B, and your new one is called Night and Day, which is the title of an old Cole Porter standard. Does that mean you’re doing jazz standards on it? No, I named it Night and Day for the way I organized it. It’s kind of a throwback to when you had two sides of a record — I have one side that’s faster songs, which is the daytime songs, and the other side is slower, more nighttime-type music. So that’s why I went with that title. You’ll find something on it for every type of scenario you could encounter during the course of a day. What’s different about this album as compared to your first one? I was terrified. [laughs] Being an artist makes you very vulnerable — we want to be liked, we want to be well-received — and a lot of times we’ll compromise our gift because we just want to be popular. So the first time out, I didn’t take many risks, vocally; I stayed kind of middle of the road. And some of the critiques of it were like, ‘Oh, it’s just a lighter version of Will Downing. It’s easy listening. He doesn’t take any risks.’ Still, it was pretty well received and gained some traction.
COURTESY OF THE ARTIST
This time, I’m in a different place. I guess you grow as a person, and I felt freer, more relaxed. This album reflects more who I am as a person as opposed to who I want you to think I am. So in a way, the title is also a reference to this album in comparison to the first one — it’s like night and day. Does that mean you let loose more on the new album? I do. I do. You know, I hate the sound of my own voice. I’m very critical of myself, so I have a tendency, I believe, to sing better live than on recordings. I started out in church and I get caught up in the emotion onstage, the energy of the crowd. I feed off of that and I have a tendency to be more in the moment onstage. When I record, I overthink things. I want it to be perfect and I’m never pleased or satisfied with the results. So this time, I tried not to overthink it. If it sounded good, I had to trust that it would sound good to everybody else. I would ask my wife if she liked it, and if she said, ‘Honey, I love it,’ I would trust that it sounded good. I just wasn’t as afraid to be me this time. A good friend of mine, Eric “Ewill” Williams — Fantasia’s musical director — told me, “You have to be comfortable with the fact that everybody might not like your music,” and I said, “Well, that’s hard.” But I embraced that and it freed me. My music’s not for everybody, but as long as I make it transparent and I’m genuine and I’m true to my own self, then whoever it’s meant to connect with will connect with it. And that’ll be my fan base. And I’m excited that they’ll be getting to know me as a person and will be able to watch me grow as an artist. MKEMP@CLCLT.COM CLCLT.COM | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | 19
MUSIC
SOUNDBOARD DECEMBER 21 BLUES/ROOTS/INTERNATIONAL Pam Taylor Band: Hot Mess 5 Year Anniversary CD Release Party (The Rabbit Hole)
COUNTRY/FOLK Beavergrass Bluegrass Jam f. Jim Garrett (Thirsty Beaver)
DJ/ELECTRONIC Le Bang (Snug Harbor)
POP/ROCK Carmen Tate Solo (Eddie’s Seafood & Raw Bar) Open Mic at Studio 13 (Studio 13, Cornelius) Hectagons!, El Malpais, Black Fleet, Recover The Satellite (Milestone) Karaoke (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) Nathan Angelo’s Christmas Special, Mark Webb (Evening Muse) Natty Boh (RiRa Irish Pub) Open Mic for Musicians (Crown Station Coffeehouse and Pub) Shana Blake and Friends (Smokey Joe’s Cafe) Todd Johnson & The Revolvers, Troy Batey, Mike Alicke (Petra’s)
DECEMBER 22 CLASSICAL/JAZZ/SMOOTH
DECEMBER 23 DJ/ELECTRONIC DJ Matt B (Tin Roof) DJ Overcash (RiRa Irish Pub) Oliver Long (The Station,) Su CASA: Jasiatic, Carlton H. (Petra’s) Tilted DJ Saturday’s: DJ Tookie (Tilted Kilt Pub & Eatery) A Very Jerry Xmas: Jon Jerry, Probably Will, Paul D. (The Station)
CLASSICAL/JAZZ/SMOOTH Christmas Concert - Higher In Jesus: MC Music Praise and Worship Team (Booth Playhouse)
Jazzy Fridays (Freshwaters Restaurant, Charlotte)
HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B
COUNTRY/FOLK
POP/ROCK
The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)
DJ/ELECTRONIC DJ Red (RiRa Irish Pub)
HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B Drop !t Featuring Snails, Funtcase, Boogie T (The Fillmore)
POP/ROCK Chase Killough and Highwater (Smokey Joe’s Cafe) David Childers, Carolina Gator Gumbo, It’s Snakes (Snug Harbor) Mark Kano, Mike Garrigan (Evening Muse) Moose Kick, The Vegabonds, Joon (Visulite Theatre)
20 | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | CLCLT.COM
New Local Band (Crown Station Coffeehouse and Pub) The Officially Official Milestone XXXMas Party: Sext Message, Glitter Bomb Burlesque, a special electro set from Dylan Gilbert of Hectorina, Holiday Karaoke Roulette (Milestone) Pluto for Planet (RiRa Irish Pub) Truckstop Preachers, Motel Glory (Petra’s) A Very Grateful Christmas: Jerry’s Kids (The Rabbit Hole) Vices & Vessels, Agony, Persistent Shadow, Den Of Wolves, East Viridian (Neighborhood Theatre) Wavs, Tony Passavanti (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern)
Lyricist’s Lounge (Upscale Lounge & Restaurant)
The Armory (Tin Roof) Dane Page Christmas Show with special guests Chip McGee and George Banda (Evening Muse) Hillbilly Hobos (Comet Grill) The Matty McRee Band (RiRa Irish Pub) Moses Jones (Smokey Joe’s Cafe) No Anger Control, DSR, The Beatdowns, Van Huskins (Milestone) R-Cite (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) Throwback Xmas Party with The Mighty DJ DR (Snug Harbor) A Very Grateful Christmas: Jerry’s Kids (The Rabbit Hole)
DECEMBER 24 DJ/ELECTRONIC
SOUNDBOARD Bone Snugs-N-Harmony (Snug Harbor)
POP/ROCK Omari and The Hellhounds (Comet Grill)
DECEMBER 25 HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B Knocturnal (Snug Harbor)
DECEMBER 26 COUNTRY/FOLK Red Rockin’ Chair (Comet Grill) Country Christmas Tuesday with Tony Wain & The Neon Leons (Snug Harbor) Open Mic hosted by Jarrid and Allen of Pursey Kerns (The Kilted Buffalo, Huntersville) Tuesday Night Jam w/ The Smokin’ Js (Smokey Joe’s Cafe)
POP/ROCK Primal Birthday Party (Primal Brewing, Huntersville)
DECEMBER 27 HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B Free Hookah Wednesdays Ladies Night (Kabob House, Persian Cuisine)
DJ/ELECTRONIC Karaoke with DJ Pucci Mane (Petra’s) Cyclops Bar: Modern Heritage Weekly Mix Tape (Snug Harbor)
COUNTRY/FOLK Southern Call (featuring Sean Trainor & Cierra Louise) (Evening Muse) Open mic w/ Jared Allen (Jack Beagles) Open Mic/Open Jam (Comet Grill)
POP/ROCK December Residency: Dead Sea $crilla Hectagons!, JT, Blu House (Snug Harbor, Charlotte) Jay Mathey Band (RiRa Irish Pub, Charlotte) Knowne Ghost, Mess, Taxing (Milestone, Charlotte) Songwriter Open Mic @ Petra’s (Petra’s, Charlotte) Trivia & Karaoke Wednesdays (Tin Roof, Charlotte)
COMING SOON Devil’s Hatband, Kevin Marshall, Jordan Middleton (December 28, Petra’s) Karla Davis (December 28, Evening Muse) Drop !t Feat. Hippie Sabotage (December 30, Fillmore) Bask, Modern Primitives, Planet Creep (December 30, Snug Harbor) JJ Grey & Mofro, Tyler Childers (December 31, Fillmore) NYE 2018 - Countdown With The Bands featuring: Radio Lola, The Menders, The Penitentials, Party Battleship (December 31, Neighborhood Theatre) Dollhands, Trunkweed, Dumb Doctors, Taxing (January 5, Snug Harbor) Christy Snow Band, Tony Eltora (January 5, Evening Muse) Melodime (January 6, Neighborhood Theatre) Alternative Champs (January 6, Snug Harbor) The Stray Birds (January 12, Evening Muse) Plies (January 14, Fillmore) Charlie Mars (January 19, Evening Muse) David Rawlings (January 19, Neighborhood Theatre) Tracy Lawrence (January 19, Coyote Joe’s) A Stained Glass Romance, Beshiba, Black Fleet, Abhorrent Deformity (January 19, Snug Harbor) Ultrafaux, Lon Eldridge (January 20, Evening Muse) They Might be Giants (January 21, Neighborhood Theatre) Royal Thunder, Backwoods Payback, Space Wizard (January 22, Milestone) Tim Barry, Laura Stevenson, Roger Harvey (January 26, Milestone) Donna the Buffalo (January 27, Neighborhood Theatre) Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (January 27, The Underground) Lana Del Ray (January 30, Spectrum Center) The Winter Sounds, Belle Adair (January 31, Evening Muse) Aimee Mann (January 31, McGlohon Theater) Lost Dog Street Band, Dead Cat (February 2, Evening Muse) Big Head Todd & The Monsters (February 2, Fillmore) Andrea Bocelli (February 9, Spectrum Center) Kid Rock(February 10, Spectrum Center)
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SUNDAY, DEC 31
NEW YEARS EVE BASH! COVER INCLUDES
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CLCLT.COM | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | 21
ARTS
FEATURE
SHOTS ALL AROUND Carey J. King’s ‘photo walks’ bring photography scene together BY RYAN PITKIN
A
CROWD OF 80 might not look like much in a 240,000-squarefoot warehouse, but to the photographers, models and other creatives who gathered at Camp North End on Sunday, December 17, it was everything. The group had convened on the sprawling north Charlotte campus for a “photo walk,” an event hosted by local photographer Carey J. King and a few of his friends in the hopes of bridging some of the gaps in Charlotte’s photography community by helping artists and other creatives connect. Entering the warehouse at around 2 p.m., local photographer McKenna Hudson stood in the doorway, shooting a model in a black shirt, translucent except across the chest, where the word “Savage” made a strong statement alongside her Dreamcatcher earrings and a strip of golden make-up under her eyes reminiscent of war paint. As Hudson shot, other photographers came and went, taking their own pictures. They discussed how the light was perfect in the doorway at just that moment. Inside, Jimi Thompson, aka Dammit Wesley, blasted music from a DJ booth set up near the center of the cavernous building. Models posed informally along the wall while photographers gathered around. Some models stood under lights and fog machines, while others simply leaned on stools wherever the natural light fell. For local photographer Glenn Byrd, Jr., it was the perfect scenario. “It’s like a photography and model orgy in here,” Byrd said, laughing. “It’s like, you just walk up to somebody; you don’t have to worry about being awkward, because everyone here understands, it’s dope.” Sunday’s event was the realization of a vision King has been working on for much of 2017, since his birthday in March, when he held his first photo walk. That event was attended mostly by King’s friends. It wasn’t until a trip to New York City in April — during which he attended art shows and photography events — that he became aware of what Charlotte’s scene should and could look like. “It was more of a community [in New York],” King said. “People are like, ‘Hey, I know this person, could you fill in for this job?’ That type of thing. They’re more like a family there, and I want to have the same thing here.” The New York trip made King rethink his photo walks as an opportunity to bring Charlotte photographers together and begin building the sense of community he felt up north. 22 | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | CLCLT.COM
“Not just in the photography community but in the artist community in general, [Charlotte] can become very cliquey and there’s no line of communication amongst artists,” King said. “I don’t really have a set clique, I just kind of bounce from group to group,” Kind said. “And I found that I can bring those people together with the photo walks and get them to talk, because otherwise they probably wouldn’t reach out to each other.” King hosted his second photo walk in South End shortly after his return to Charlotte, but the turnout still wasn’t what he had hoped for, so he started reaching out to collaborators. Over the summer, Thompson and Will Jenkins had opened an interactive arts studio called Black Market in Camp North End, so he suggested they hold an event there. In November, about 100 people attended the first photo walk at the old army missile plant. It was an amazing change for Jenkins, who’s been to every one of King’s previous walks. On Sunday, Jankins was enthralled by the number of new people to show up. “Initially, the first ones that we did, we generally all knew each other,” Jenkins recalled while standing outside at Camp North End on Sunday. “Out here, I can say that I don’t know 75 percent of these people, but I’m getting to know them and every so often we build relationships. Hopefully one day we’ll have an event and I’ll see all these same people over here at the same time, but for a show, not a photo walk.”
AS A STUDENT at Northwest School of the Arts, King wouldn’t have imagined he would be the one leading the charge to connect Charlotte’s photography scene. Throughout his childhood it was music and not the visual arts that interested King. When the Charlotte native graduated from high school, he had 10 years of classical voice training and no intention of using it. “I didn’t really want to do anything with that so I picked up a camera,” King said. For a couple of years, he didn’t take photography seriously, until something happened that would change his life. A couple months after King’s 21st birthday, he lost his grandfather, who had raised him from a boy. It was King’s first experience with the death of a loved one, and from then on, he noticed a difference in the way he viewed the world. “It changed my outlook on life. I started looking at things differently,” King said. “I started noticing little details that I would normally pass over. And with that newfound
Carey J. King tries to focus at his most recent photo walk event. sight, I decided to pick up a camera and I started taking pictures just to show people how I now see things.” Whether shooting portraits or city lights, King’s work carries a certain poignancy. He still likes to focus on the small things, but even when he zooms out, the subtlety remains. Considering how he got his start, it’s not surprising that King describes his style as an “emotion” photographer. “My approach to photography is really all about emotions, like taking anything that I’m looking at and putting an emotion behind it or telling a story with anything that I take pictures of,” he said. Over the last year, King has started to see his work pay off. In July, he held his first gallery show at Magnolia Emporium as part
RYAN PITKIN
of the popular Historic South End Gallery Crawl. Not just friends, but many of King’s former teachers from Northwest showed up. The experience was the confidence boost that King needed to take his photo walks to the next level. “It pushed me to really do bigger things, now that I know I’m able to draw a crowd,” he said. And a crowd he certainly drew at Camp North End on Sunday. Byrd, speaking inside the warehouse while he looked on at his fellow photographers, echoed King’s sentiments regarding the tendency for Queen City photogs to stay within their circles. He said he’s already seen that the photo walks have had an effect on that mentality.
“[Charlotte] can become very cliquey and there’s no line of communication amongst artists. I found that I can bring those people together.” Photos by Carey
J. King
“Charlotte is very cliquey, so anything that breaks up that cliquey BS, I’m down for it,” Byrd said. “Let’s get together. Nobody’s really making money off of this shit, but it’s cool when you just say, ‘Let’s do it for the fun of it.’ “All the other major cities do that,” he said. “I’m from New York, I’ve lived in Toronto, they both do the same thing. So why not here?” While the photo walks may not be moneymaking opportunities, the networking can set someone up for future gigs. King wants to see it to get to a point where there’s an entire network of local photographers and local models helping each other find work, or finding replacements for jobs they can’t do themselves. David Butler, another local photographer who attended the Sunday event, says the photo walks are also a good way to help people break onto the scene without having to take classes or know the right people. “Charlotte is still very young and very open. It’s a completely open market for a lot of different things, so it’s like a confidence builder, too,” Butler said. “You don’t have to feel the pressure of being on a shoot with a client for the first time,” Butler added. “You can come to a couple photo walks and get your feet wet and figure out how those things work for you, specifically. I think it’s a good opportunity for people who are just entering the sphere to get their feet wet and be around other creatives and pick up tips and tricks from the people who have been doing it for a while.”
-CAREY J. KING
It’s hard to say how many people were in and out of the photo walk on Sunday during the event’s four-hour span, but the crowd consistently stayed between 80 and 90 at any given time throughout the afternoon. After folks had shot all they could see in the warehouse, the group began to walk across a parking lot to the other side of yet another massive old building on the campus. The large group made its way down a walkway that ran parallel to some old train tracks. Every once in a while, a photographer and model would jump down into the long grass and shoot along the tracks. Eventually, Hudson, who had been shooting in the doorway earlier in the afternoon, came running up behind the group laughing but looking a little bewildered. Her car was blocked in, she said, and the crowd was too big and spread out for her to easily figure out who could help her. While she was stuck, Hudson spoke about her experience at the photo walks, as she had attended all four. “I think it’s the best way to bring the photography community together, because we all see each other on social media but we don’t necessarily see each other in real life,” she said, having given up on finding out who was keeping her hostage at Camp North End indefinitely. “This is like my favorite thing to do in the city,” she said. As she spoke, Hudson looked happily resigned to the fact that if there’s any place for a photographer to be stuck on a Sunday afternoon, she was there. RPITKIN@CLCLT.COM
Models [from le through King’s left] Zander Johnson, Demetrius M ns. Joshua Gallo walk. way shoots KotacKenney and Roderick Phifer as h Carter [bottom se right] at the phot en o CLCLT.COM | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | 23
ARTS
ARTSPEAK
JUST ONE CHANCE TO DANCE Mother’s mission to help daughter feel valued has wide-reaching impact BY VANESSA INFANZON
KIM AND CHRIS Smith’s daughter, Reagan,
was diagnosed with autism at just 18-months old. The couple went through the waves of emotion that come with raising a child with special needs – disbelief, anger, sadness and acceptance. Through the roller coaster of emotions, Kim knew she wanted to do something to make a difference, but she just wasn’t sure what that something would be. Two years ago, Kim posted a message on Facebook out of frustration. She wanted studio space to start a dance program for her 6-year-old daughter who enjoyed dance, but couldn’t find the right fit in the community. Immediately, Donna Mitzel, owner of Miss Donna’s School of Dance, where Kim danced as a child, responded, “What do you want?” That was the beginning of A Chance to Dance, a dance company for the differently abled, within Miss Donna’s School of Dance. They opened with seven dancers. Now, the program has 46 dancers ranging from 3 to 27 years old. There are four classes a week with competitive and non-competitive options. Dancers who are too medically fragile to visit the studio are given the routine on video to learn from home. Seventeen high school volunteers from Ms. Donna’s School of Dance provide one-on-one support for each dancer. I met Kim a year ago when we were advocating together for the county’s special education program. I followed A Chance to Dance on social media, as the program received national recognition on the Today Show. After that, Kim was contacted about writing a book. In November, she released A Chance to Dance: Singing in the Rain. I met Kim at Trade and Lore Coffee to hear about the book and the program: Creative Loafing: What types of dance do you teach your students? Kim Smith: We do tap and ballet, lyrical. We do a lot of flash mob style choreography. The kids love doing that. We have a signature dance that the kids have learned and when we get asked to perform we always do the same thing. We dance to Katy Perry’s “Firework.” It’s our anthem song. What is the book, A Chance to Dance: Singing in the Rain, about? The book is based on my differently abled competitive team that went to the World Dance Championships this past summer. They gave Reagan a voice and told the story
24 | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | CLCLT.COM
Reagan, 8, with her mom, Kim Smith.
SARAH NELSON CONKLIN
as if she was able to tell it. It starts with her telling about being afraid in the dance classroom and how her mom comes up with the idea of making a place where everyone can feel included. It’s about our dance family and how they embraced us. What has A Chance to Dance done for you? Oh my gosh. A lot of healing. It’s helped take away the part when I am sad about Reagan. It gives me joy and happiness. It’s the best feeling in the whole world to know you are making a difference. It’s given Reagan exactly what I wanted it to do — value and friendship. And what does it do for the students? The most important part is not the dance. The most important part is giving them value and giving them an opportunity to have peers and build friendships. These kids don’t get invited to parties; they don’t have friends — people always stare and look at them. I think that’s why the program works because we are so blessed to have so many volunteers who are engaged and become a buddy. Parents are most grateful for the friendships. If you could wave a magic wand, what would you wish for? Our own studio space. Our students are beginning to do solo and duo routines. These kids have grown so much in confidence, and they are competing just like typical kids are. We need a room that is available during the week. How did the company get to the World Dance Championships? When we were at one local competition, a company fell in love with our students and gave them a bid to the World Dance Championships. Children from all over the world come to this dance competition. A mom whose daughter dances at another studio in Charlotte follows our program and she donated $10,000 to cover hotel and travel for all ten students. We were the first and only differently abled team to ever be at the World Dance Championships. The kids killed it on stage and they did a big presentation on stage and gave them a performance award. It was incredible. This year will be hard to top. A Chance to Dance: Singing in the Rain may be purchased for $12-14 on Amazon.
opens The Phantom Menace, though...). While all the scenes involving younglings should have been deep-sixed, the rest of the bloat can be forgiven, since it simply meant Johnson wanted to make sure fans were saturated and satisfied. Yet there aren’t many vignettes that couldn’t have benefited from a judicious trim here or there. Still, this is a minor quibble when placed against the magnitude of the movie. Between its acute attention to character growth, the excellent effects that serve scenes rather than dominate them, and the poignant moments that tie back to past entries — a particular scene that employs a snippet of vintage footage is nothing less than glorious — it’s easy to imagine true believers’ emotions hitting hyperdrive as they anticipate the concluding chapter. That chapter is set to land on December 20, 2019.
Daisy Ridley and Mark Hamill in ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi.’
ARTS
DISNEY
FILM
BACK IN FULL FORCE Plus, latest del Toro flick makes a splash
Beauty and the Beast meets The Creature from the Black Lagoon in The Shape of Water (*** out of four), an unusual love story that emerges as writer-director Guillermo del Toro’s best English-language movie to date. Del Toro, whose Spanish-language efforts (particularly Pan’s Labyrinth) remain more deeply satisfying than his Hollywood output, has crafted (along with co-scripter Vanessa Taylor) a sensual and often surreal drama in which a mute cleaning woman named Elisa Esposito (Sally Hawkins) finds romance in an unexpected place. Working alongside her best friend Zelda (Octavia Spencer) at a research facility in
1960s Baltimore, Elisa is naturally curious when government operative Richard Strickland (Michael Shannon) arrives on the property with a water-filled tank in tow. Elisa soon discovers that Strickland has brought an amphibious humanoid to the facility, a highly intelligent creature he fished out of the Amazon. While Strickland abhors his nautical discovery and wants it destroyed, Dr. Hoffstetler (Michael Stuhlbarg), a scientist with a clouded past, wants to study it. For her part, Elisa just wants to become friends with a being whose silence and outsider status pegs him as a kindred spirit. If The Shape of Water never quite breaks out of the confines of what’s basically (to quote B&B) a tale as old as time, it’s still an artfully executed diversion further strengthened by an excellent central performance by Hawkins and stellar supporting turns by Stuhlbarg (also memorable in this season’s Call Me By Your Name) and Shannon. As for the “Amphibian Man,” he’s played by Doug Jones — no, not the Democratic politician Doug Jones who humiliated accused perverts Roy Moore and Donald Trump in Alabama, nor the Dougie Jones made famous in the latest Twin Peaks season, though either of those would have been fascinating. This is the actor Doug Jones who’s best known for playing critters in such works as Pan’s Labyrinth, Mimic and the Hellboy twofer. He’s basically del Toro’s own Andy Serkis, and the director is lucky to have him. BACKTALK@CLCLT.COM
BY MATT BRUNSON
WHEN STAR WARS: The Force Awakens debuted exactly two years, its detractors groused that it was a timid and lazy movie insofar as it never deviated much from the template established by the original Star Wars back in 1977. I would counter that this isn’t exactly true — while it did borrow plenty of plot points from George Lucas’ first baby, it did so in imaginative and exciting ways — but never mind. Star Wars: The Last Jedi (*** out of four) likely won’t be dismissed with similar charges, even if one sizable chunk feels like a rehash of The Empire Strikes Back. Written and directed by Rian Johnson, The Last Jedi is very much its own entity, exploring new routes as it teases out themes that have always been present in the Skywalker saga. It’s a bold and challenging work — exactly what we would expect from the auteur of Brick and Looper. In the debit column, it’s also a tad bloated, and it contains an almost risible number of false endings — admittedly not as many as the 42 or so that closed The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, but enough to draw attention. The last thing anyone would want in a review of a new Star Wars movie is spoilers, so let’s tread carefully, shall we? As we saw at the end of The Force Awakens, new Jedi on the block Rey (Daisy Ridley) has finally made contact with Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), who’s been hiding out on an island populated by Porgs (this
movie’s equivalent of those infernal Ewoks, though thankfully employed only sparingly). Meanwhile, in another part of the galaxy, General Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher) is doing her best to keep the Resistance from being crushed by the First Order. In other story strands, the bravery exhibited by Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) is weighed against his recklessness; Finn (John Boyega) finds a new friend in maintenance worker Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran); and Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) continues to fret and fume and throw tantrums with the best of them. Actually, the character arc given to Kylo Ren is an excellent one, marking him as one of this entry’s most intriguing players. Yet the greatest appeal is in watching Hamill and Fisher again explore and expand upon their iconic roles. Fisher delivers a commanding performance in both senses of the word, and knowing that her tragic death means this will be her final appearance further lends the proceedings a somber and bittersweet tone. As for Hamill, this might represent his finest work in the 40-year-old franchise. Johnson allows the character of Luke Skywalker to evolve in some startling and unexpected ways, and Hamill is with him every step of the way, contributing a turn that’s weighty and wonderful. At 152 minutes, The Last Jedi is the longest of the nine Star Wars films to date — it’s also the only one where the length is felt (that riveting Trade Federation chat that
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In last week’s column, I talked about my first you by Crown City Comedy. We’d noticed trip to Hoppin’, the first self-pour beer hall someone was writing names down in the located in the Gold District of South End. On corner while someone else was “mic testing” the first Wednesday following their grand but when I went to their Instagram to see if opening, it was lit! After one great first new anything was going down, I didn’t see any impression in the Q.C., I didn’t want to end posts. the night’s adventure. The night was young! We sat down at a table in the corner near My friend and I were both hungry so we the stage and noticed slips of paper on the decided to grab some Thai food at Deejai table that read: “YOU LOOK LIKE.” There Noda Noodle Bar. As a NoDa resident, my was space to fill in blanks but I couldn’t friend had been asking me to try out another quite tell how I’d fill them in. We went on spot next door called Crown Station Coffee about our business and cracked open our House & Pub for some time. So why not pad thai. A few moments later, two comedy kill two birds with one stone? We snagged hosts started cracking jokes on one another. an Uber and headed straight for North I looked at my friend and we both had that Davidson Street. face of, “You just can’t make this shit up.” I wasn’t quite sure where this Thai place Talk about synchronicity. would be located as I haven’t ventured to the “You look like you got your haircut by backside of the neighborhood in a while, so I a lesbian,” the female host says to the was all the more surprised to see the male host. I most certainly giggled massive bridge built for the the because I thought the male light rail right across from the host was #fam i.e. an actual Renaissance Townhomes. lesbian. Oddly enough, City officials recently my issues with anxiety announced that the new around secondhand light rail going from embarrassment (the Uptown through NoDa personal embarrassment to University should be one feels on account of open as soon as February and for another) didn’t 1, so I expect I’ll be seeing cause issues when the plenty more of this area. participants in the show As it turns out, NoDa told jokes that just didn’t AERIN SPRUILL Street Market, the building stick. Deejai Noda and Crown Station I actually reveled in the are in, just opened up this past awkwardness, as I would watching a summer. Deejai the first to open, followed move with dry humor like, say, Due Date. by Crown Station in September. With Bold Even when we found out the duo was actually Missy Brewery opening around the same dating in real life and the guy told his time across the street, the area has become a partner, “You look like you don’t swallow,” happening little spot. and things started getting heated, I knew I’d We ordered pad thai to go and, to my gotten comfortable with the discomfort that surprise, we were told that they’d bring comes along with amateur comedy shows. it next door when our order was done. Yep, I was sold. Um, where else they do that at?! Having My friend tried to convince me to get frequented the neighborhood of Elizabeth on stage to tell a few jokes, but that wasn’t quite often, I was shocked to find out that going to happen. Instead, he wrote down Crown Station used to be in Elizabeth, but his own “you look like” joke. After all of closed in March of 2016. the comedians took their turn, we had the We entered Crown Station and I option of making fun of them and my friend immediately understood why CLT needed to called out one of them who was the proud bring back the spot for round two. I walked owner of a rather thick pornstache and next into an intimate lounge vibe bathed in dim thing you know he was asking how to spell lighting, a sitting area to the left, a full bar, “merkin,” which is a pubic wig. When I tell tall and short tables as well as a stage. We you I hollered! headed to the bar and waited for a drink. If you haven’t had a chance to check One more drink and a full belly and I’d be out Crown Station, you better now while ready for some good ol’ sleep. it’s still a hidden gem in the northside of Little did we know, we were in for a NoDa. And if you’re like me and like a good show, a comedy show. That’s right, every #awkwardmoment, you must check out the Wednesday you can catch an open mic Wednesday comedy show. BACKTALK@CLCLT.COM comedy show at Crown Station brought to
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FeeLing Lonely?
CROSSWORD
BED OF FISH ACROSS
1 Santa -- (desert winds) 5 Heroic tales 10 “iZombie” network 15 Marathoner’s statistic 19 Promote 20 Horror, e.g. 21 Prefix with gram or liter 22 Strong -- ox 23 Start of a riddle 25 “That is to say ...” 26 Piper’s garb 27 AWOL part 28 Pat lightly 30 Short literary sketch 32 Riddle, part 2 38 Jailbird 39 Poet’s “always” 40 German’s “one” 41 Suffix with sucr- or lact42 Riddle, part 3 51 Starting point 52 Ike’s inits. 53 Cell stuff 54 Government loan agcy. 55 Runway user 56 Clumsy sort 58 Dollar pts. 60 He beat Romney 64 Riddle, part 4 70 “Look, I did it!” 74 Ostrich kin 75 Bohea, e.g. 76 That, in Chile 77 Oil gp. 78 Riddle, part 5 83 ‘90s-’00s boy band 84 Thrice-spun-off TV show 85 Wimbledon unit 86 Swimming (in) 91 Sue Grafton’s “-- for Evidence” 93 Mind-reading ability 95 Lilted syllable 97 “Haegar the Horrible” creator Dik 98 Riddle, part 6 104 Pitching whiz 105 Ballpark fig. 106 Prefix meaning “equal” 107 Syllable after “Mao” 108 End of the riddle 118 Merit the best score,
maybe 119 Half of hexa120 See 45-Down 121 Lacking width and depth, for short 122 Els of golf 125 Riddle’s answer 129 Baseball team count 130 Actress Tierney 131 Plants used in first aid 132 Borscht vegetable 133 Anti-DUI org. 134 More sneaky 135 Flirty laugh 136 Probability
DOWN
1 Slanting 2 Like free banking 3 Acoustic 4 Rock’s Perry 5 “I” problem 6 Chapel seat 7 Hotel’s kin 8 Set of beliefs 9 Roomy car 10 “No need to share all that,” in texts 11 That bloke 12 School pupil, in France 13 Actresses Bloom and Danes 14 Fancy shoes 15 George of “Star Trek” 16 “... true statement, correct?” 17 Dog or cat breed 18 Went inside 24 Ida. borderer 29 British TV network, with “the” 31 Tiny self-propelled machine 33 Clicked-on graphic 34 Bart Simpson, to Marge 35 With a sharp image, briefly 36 -- -do-well 37 Long ditch 42 Marge Simpson, to Bart 43 -- -Magnon 44 Prefix with day or week 45 With 120-Across, 65 and older, e.g. 46 Sledding site
47 Work like -48 Cherished by 49 Ramble on 50 Verboten act 57 Feudal lands 59 Cubs hero Sammy 61 Galaxy buy 62 Pal of Larry and Curly 63 Jets’ gp. 65 Conifer with toxic seeds 66 Apple choice 67 Sipped on 68 Sex cell 69 Down vote 70 Earthy color 71 Muscles below pecs 72 Handyman’s initialism 73 Nixon’s veep 79 Actress Annabella 80 Not make the event in time, say 81 Other, in Chile 82 Delhi wear 87 Concave pan 88 Stupefy 89 NBC skit show since ‘75 90 Kin of “Psst!” 92 Secondary details 94 Elegant 96 Voting 69-Down 97 Cordon -- (chicken dish) 98 Particles composed of quarks 99 South Pacific region 100 Soho locale 101 Left-leaning 102 Ring around a castle 103 Pa. hours 109 Surrendered 110 Listless feeling 111 Yummy morsel 112 Edge shyly 113 Abbr. at LAX 114 1990s fitness fad 115 “-- a drink!” 116 Looked at provocatively 117 Swift homes 123 Wrath 124 Acoustic organ 126 “So fancy!” 127 Peace gesture 128 Nationality suffix
graB Your copy today
SOLUTION FOUND ON P. 30.
CLCLT.COM | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | 27
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SAVAGE LOVE
LOVING LESBIANS It’s OK, ITALY BY DAN SAVAGE I am a 22-year-old Italian man, 100 percent straight, sensitive and sporty. I have been reading Savage Love for years in Internazionale. I have one question for you: Why do I always fall in love with lesbians? Why do I instantly fall in love with girls who have that something more in their eyes? Something melancholy and perhaps insecure? Girls whom I’d rather protect and embrace than take to bed? The last three girls who fit this description all turned out to be lesbians. The last girl with whom this happened told me it was my “Red Cross” mind-set that made me fall in love with girls who are insecure/sad/melancholy, so I have a sort of selection bias that excludes most straight girls I meet. I do not believe this, because the world is full of straight girls who need saving. So why then, Dan? WHY? I have a girlfriend. I truly love her. Since September, we have been living in two different cities because she went away to study. I am afraid that one day she is going to tell me she’s gay too. She always talks with me about a new supercute female friend. Is she a lesbian? I have recently met another girl, super empathetic. She is gay, and I knew it after an all-night conversation in my car listening to Cigarettes After Sex. Why do I always fall in love with gay girls? Can I love two people at the same time? This is the fourth time that this has happened. Is my girlfriend gay? Why do I find lesbians so attractive? I’m freaking. INCREASINGLY TORMENTED ABOUT LESBIAN YEARNINGS
There’s a lot going on in your letter, ITALY, so I’m going to take your questions one at a time... 1. Maybe you always fall in love with lesbians or maybe this was a series of coincidences — by pure chance you fell for more than one woman who turned out to be a lesbian — and, hey, since you’re probably going to love a few more women over the course of your life, ITALY, that “always” seems a bit premature. It’s also possible you find women with a certain degree of masculine energy and/or swagger attractive, and women with that swagger are somewhat likelier to be lesbians, slightly upping your chances of falling in love with four girls-who-turned-outto-be-lesbians in a row. Personally, ITALY, I’m attracted to guys with a certain degree of feminine swagger and, needless to say, these guys are likelier to be gay. But while almost all effeminate guys are gay — so stigmatized is femininity in males (even in the gay community) — masculine swagger in women is less stigmatized and 28 | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | CLCLT.COM
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therefore somewhat less likely to correlate Gabriel García Márquez quote from Love in as strongly with lesbianism. Women with the Time of Cholera comes to mind: ‘My heart masculine swagger and men with feminine has more rooms than a whorehouse.’ Your swagger are also likely to be self-conscious heart will surprise you with its duplicity.” Or about their gender-nonconforming traits, its capacity. Keyboardist Phillip Tubbs wanted particularly when they’re young and/or not to share a Morrissey line with you: “’Cause I yet out, and that can read as melancholy and/ want the one I can’t have and it’s driving me or insecurity. mad.” Lead singer Greg Gonzalez declined to 2. Women — straight or bi or lesbian — comment. 6. Maybe it’s not an accident that you don’t need “saving.” They need respect, they need to be taken seriously, they need bodily keep falling for lesbians. There are lots of autonomy and they need loving partners and straight men out there who have a thing for dykes. It’s entirely possible that you aren’t political allies. 3. Your girlfriend may be a lesbian — worried your girlfriend is a lesbian, ITALY, but anyone could in these highly fluid days, even secretly hoping she is. Good luck! me. But if your girlfriend isn’t straight, ITALY, she’s likelier to be bisexual, seeing as there are roughly three times as many bi women My boyfriend and I have been together as there are lesbian women. And if she seems for five years. We have had an open gayer now than when you met, that could be relationship from fairly early on, but because you landed a straight girl who had it’s only in the last six months that been suppressing her masculine swagger — he’s started using various gentlemen’s which many men don’t find attractive — and apps for meeting new guys. We don’t share apps or have threesomes; our she’s consciously or subconsciously dalliances are solo affairs and come to the realization that that works for us. I snuck a she doesn’t have to play the look at his phone and I was girly girl around you to hold horrified — the dick pics your attention. Quite the he’s sharing are terrible. opposite, in fact. Poorly lit and with bad 4. It’s entirely angles, they completely possible to love more do not do justice to his than one person at cock. His face pics are a time. Just as we great, but I really feel are capable of loving like he’s underselling more than one parent, DAN SAVAGE what else he has to offer. child, sibling, friend and How can I help him take television show at a time better junk shots without (you know I love you both revealing that I’ve been looking equally, Lady Dynamite and The at his phone? Crown), we can love more than one DOESN’T INSTINCTIVELY CAPTURE PHOTOGRAPHIC romantic partner at a time. But we’re told INSTANT CLASSICS, SADLY that romantic love is a zero-sum game so often — if someone wins, someone else loses — it has become a self-fulfilling/relationship- You could tell your boyfriend you made a joint destroying prophecy. It’s a myth that harms appointment with a photographer — perhaps not just people who might want to be with two as a Hanukkah/Solstice/Christmas/Kwanzaa/ people, but partnered monogamous people as Ramadan present — because you thought well. A person who is convinced he can feel you should both have Sears-Portrait-Studioromantic love for only one person at a time quality-or-better dick pics to share with your will doubt his love for a long-term partner if prospective hookups, DICPICS, or you could he develops a crush on someone new. He’ll say let your boyfriend’s hookups be pleasantly to himself, “I couldn’t possibly feel this way surprised when your boyfriend drops his about this barista if I was still in love with my drawers. partner of 10 years.” But those feelings can exist side by side — stable, secure, lasting Are you really whining about having a love for a long-term partner and an intense president you don’t like in office? Is that infatuation (most likely fleeting) for a new so terrible that you have to get little digs in every week? That’s the problem with person. 5. Cigarettes After Sex were on a boat in the you liberals — you’re a bunch of wimps. Arabian Sea — they sent the pics to prove it Man up, dude. MAKE AMERICA STRONG AGAIN — when I reached them about your dilemma. Drummer Jacob Tomsky said: “About loving more than one person at the same time, a Gee, I don’t recall any whining from you right-
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wing he-men back when a black guy who didn’t collude with a hostile foreign power and wasn’t poisoning our air and water and didn’t undermine our Democratic norms and wasn’t surrounded by a cadre of deeply corrupt sycophants was president — you guys were so stoic during the Obama years, so he-manly. You ova’d up, you didn’t whine or moan, you didn’t spread wild conspiracy theories or march on Washington waving signs that proved you were every bit as misinformed as you are illiterate. (Wake up, dude.) Give the gift of the magnum Savage Lovecast at savagelovecast.com; follow @fakedansavage on Twitter; mail@savagelove.net; go to ITMFA.org.
CLCLT.COM | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | 29
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SOLUTION TO THIS WEEK'S PUZZLE
WHERE WE ALL REFUSE TO WEAR SOCKS.
ARIES (March 21
to April 19) It’s a good time for reunions with those very special people from your past. You could be pleasantly surprised by what comes to light during one of these get-togethers.
TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) The new year gets off to an encouraging start for the Bold Bovine who takes that demanding workplace challenge by the horns and steers it in the right direction. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) The clever Gemini will be quick to spot the telltale signs of workplace changes that could open up new opportunities for the right person. (And that’s you, isn’t it?) CANCER (June 21
to July 22) The Moon Child’s post-holiday letdown soon lifts as you begin to get back into your comfortable routine. Someone from your past extends a surprise bid to reconnect.
LEO (July 23 to August
22) You’ve been the ultimate social Lion over the holidays. Now it’s time to relax and recharge your energy so you can be at your best when you pounce on that new project.
VIRGO
(August 23 to September 22) A relationship could be moving in a direction you might not want to follow. Step back for a better overview of the situation. You might be surprised at what you see.
LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Emotions rule at the start of the week, affecting your perception about a decision. Best advice: Avoid commitments until that good Libran sense kicks back in. SCORPIO (October 23 to
November 21) A longtime friendship could take a romantic turn early in the new year. While this pleases your passionate side, your logical self might want to go slow.
SAGITTARIUS
(November 22 to December 21) Someone might make a surprising disclosure about a trusted friend or workplace colleague. Stay cool and reserve judgment until you get more facts.
CAPRICORN (December 22
to January 19) You might think you’ve found what you’ve been looking for. But appearances can be deceiving. Don’t act on your discovery until you know more about it.
AQUARIUS
(January 20 to February 18) You’re no doubt anxious for that confusing situation to be cleared up. But don’t press for a quick resolution or you might overlook some vital facts.
PISCES (February 19 to
March 20) Now that your holiday distractions are easing, you need to apply yourself to getting those unfinished tasks done so you can begin a new project with a clean slate.
BORN THIS WEEK People respect both your wisdom and your deep sense of loyalty and compassion. 30 | DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2017 | CLCLT.COM
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