2018 Issue 49 Creative Loafing Charlotte

CLCLT.COM | JANUARY. 25 - JANUARY. 31, 2018 VOL. 31, NO. 49

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NCDOT TO HOLD A PUBLIC MEETING REGARDING PROPOSED IMPROVEMENTS TO N.C. 73 FROM N.C. 16 TO NORTHCROSS DRIVE (S.R. 2316) AND INTERCHANGE IMPROVEMENTS TO I-77 AND N.C. 73 IN MECKLENBURG AND LINCOLN COUNTIES STIP Project Nos U-5765 R-5721 & I-5715: The N.C. Department of Transportation will hold a joint public meeting, U-5765 and R-5721 regarding proposed improvements to N.C. 73 from N.C. 16 to Northcross Drive (S.R. 2316) and I-5715 regarding interchange improvements to I-77 and N.C. 73. The purpose of the proposed projects is to improve mobility and connectivity.

Two public meetings will be held. The first public meeting is for both projects U-5765/R-5721 and I-5715, and will take place on Monday, February 5, 2018 from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. at Meadowlake Church, located at 6501 Gilead Road in Huntersville.

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A second public meeting is for project U-5765/R-5721, and will take place on Tuesday, February 6, 2018 from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. at Christ Church, located at 409 N Little Egypt Road, in Denver.

The public may attend at any time during the Public Meeting hours. NCDOT representatives will be available to answer questions and listen to comments regarding the project. The opportunity to submit written comments will also be provided at the meeting or via phone, email, or mail by March 12, 2018. Comments received will be taken into consideration as the project develops. Please note that no formal presentation will be made.

Project information and materials can be viewed as they become available online at http://www.ncdot.gov/projects/publicmeetings.

For additional information regarding project I-5715, please contact: Beverly Robinson, NCDOT Project Development Group Supervisor at 1548 Mail Service Center Raleigh, NC 27699, by phone (919) 707-6041 or email brobinson@ncdot.gov. For additional information regarding project U5765/R-5721, please contact: Wilson Stroud, CPM, NCDOT Project Development Engineer at 1548 Mail Service Center Raleigh, NC 27699, by phone (919) 707-6045 or email wstroud@ncdot.gov.

NCDOT will provide auxiliary aids and services under the Americans with Disabilities Act for disabled persons who wish to participate in this meeting. Anyone requiring special services should contact Tamara Makhlouf, Environmental Analysis Unit via e-mail at tmakhlouf@ncdot.gov or by phone (919) 707-6072 as early as possible so that arrangements can be made.

Persons who speak Spanish and do not speak English, or have a limited ability to read, speak or understand English, may receive interpretive services upon request prior to the meeting by calling 1-800-481-6494.

Aquellas personas que hablan español y no hablan inglés, o tienen limitaciones para leer, hablar o entender inglés, podrían recibir servicios de interpretación si los solicitan antes de la reunión llamando al 1-800-481-6494.

4 | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

EDITORIAL

NEWS EDITOR • Ryan Pitkin rpitkin@clclt.com FILM CRITIC • Matt Brunson mattonmovies@gmail.com THEATER CRITIC • Perry Tannenbaum perrytannenbaum@gmail.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS • Erin Tracy-Blackwood, Allison Braden, Catherine Brown, Konata Edwards, Jeff Hahne, Vanessa Infanzon, Alison Leininger, Ari LeVaux, Kia O. Moore, Grey Revell, Dan Savage, Debra Renee Seth, Aerin Spruill,

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ART DIRECTOR • Dana Vindigni dvindigni@clclt.com CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS AND PHOTOGRAPHERS • Justin Driscoll, Brian Twitty, Zach Nesmith

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18

Scott Ian’s Anthrax shreds its way into Charlotte with Killswitch Engage on Wednesday, January 31.

We put out weekly 8

NEWS&CULTURE A CITY IN NEED OF SANCTUARY Local advocates offer help to

domestic violence victims and abusers

BY RYAN PITKIN

7 EDITOR’S NOTE BY MARK KEMP 10 THE BLOTTER BY RYAN PITKIN 10 NEWS OF THE WEIRD 11 SPOTSHOTS: WOMEN’S MARCH 2018 BY RYAN PITKIN

12 16

WINTER SURVIVAL GUIDE: WHAT TO DO WHEN THE OUTDOORS AIN’T AN OPTION

FOOD&DRINK BETTER THAN RAZOR BLADES Letty’s serves uncomplicated Southern-style food with 10 ingredients or less

BY PAT MORAN

18 20

TOP 10 THINGS TO DO THIS WEEK

MUSIC ‘EFFORTLESSLY COOL’ The queen of African diaspora dance parties launches her eighth year of Su Casa

BY MARK KEMP 21 MUSIC MAKER: SLADE BAIRD OF AMIGO BY BILL KOPP 22 SOUNDBOARD

24

ARTS&ENT ACTOR’S THEATRE FINALLY FINDS A HOME The cutting-edge group announces new plays, a new place and renewed hope

BY PERRY TANNENBAUM 25 FILM REVIEWS BY MATT BRUNSON

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ODDS&ENDS 26 NIGHTLIFE BY AERIN SPRUILL 27 CROSSWORD 28 SAVAGE LOVE BY DAN SAVAGE 30 SALOME’S STARS

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CLCLT.COM | JANUARY. 25 - JANUARY. 31, 2018 VOL. 31, NO. 49

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NEWS

Matthews Playhouse of the Performing Arts Presents

EDITORS NOTE

THE MARCH CONTINUES In times of utter madness, women hold the key to achieving sanity again OUR COUNTRY IS stark-raving crazy.

“Are you ready to show our power? Make a difference?” Lyles shouted. “Let’s do it!”

But you knew that.

For the second year in a row, Charlotte Our city, on the other hand, is getting a showed up to demand an end to the current little saner. Just a little. climate of hatred in the U.S., and Creative Should we thank the president for that?

In some ways, perhaps. The inauguration Loafing was there, too. News editor Ryan last year of the man who will remain Pitkin captured the action in photos you can unnamed in this editor’s note was one of the see on page 11 (any many more on clclt.com).

In the spirit of this year’s Women’s March, greatest motivators we’ve had in recent years to stand up and demand sanity. But not just we celebrate powerful women throughout in Charlotte — in cities all across this great this week’s CL, beginning with the news section, where Pitkin files his second report nation and even the world.

For the second year in a row, women and in his series on domestic violence.

In the food section, Pat Moran sits down their male allies descended on Charlotte’s First Ward Park by the thousands on January 20. with Letty Ketner, the colorful owner of the They gathered at 71st Street and Columbus southern food restaurant on Shamrock Drive Avenue in New York City. They rallied in that bears her first name. Letty’s is known for its delicious honey pecan chicken, as well as Las Vegas, where Alicia Garza, co-founder its sweet potato veggie burgers. of Black Lives Matter, spoke to Ketner tells Moran some them along with U.S. Rep. John stories he did not expect to Lewis and Cecile Richards, hear, including surprising the president of Planned details about her family Parenthood Action Fund. tree as well as her thoughts They marched in other on cooking. I won’t give major cities, including them away here. Just read Washington, D.C., San the piece on page 16.

Francisco, Los Angeles, And for this week’s Denver, Chicago, Houston, music feature, I caught up and Palm Beach, Florida, with another powerful and the home of the president’s diligent Charlotte woman, garish Mar-a-Lago hideaway.

MARK KEMP Jasiatic Anderson, whose Su And they marched across Casa parties have offered folks sweet home Carolina — from who love to dance a kaleidoscope of Wilmington to Raleigh to Asheville.

In Charlotte, the city’s first black female music from the African diaspora for the past mayor, Vi Lyles, addressed the crowd early eight years. Jasiatic’s events have inspired in the day. “We’ve got to change the power other women and men of color to take control dynamic,” she told the marchers, and said that and put on music events in the city that offer “means the end of power over us to sexually alternatives to mainstream radio fare.

At Su Casa, Jasiatic paid tribute to the harass us.”

In a show of man-splaining at its most legendary Nigerian activist and Afrobeat egregious, a dinosaur of Charlotte’s far-right pioneer Fela Kuti long before the Fela! fringe attempted to shout over the mayor’s Broadway musical reached Charlotte’s Spirit words. “What about the little baby girls?” Square. And Jasiatic digs even deeper into anti-choice activist Flip Benham whined, the musical well at her events, presenting disingenuously referring to fetuses instead deep-cut soul-based music from the African of the numerous actual baby girls who were continent to the Caribbean to the Americas.

“There are people who don’t know what cradled in their parents’ arms or secured in Afrobeat is; they’ve never been exposed to it,” baby backpacks during the march.

The mayor didn’t miss a beat. “When you Jasiatic tells me in my story on page 20. “And come to City Council and speak for your three it’s exciting to see them discover this music. minutes, I do not interrupt you,” Lyles told It’s exciting to see them come into this space Benham. “If you would give me that same where they may have had stereotypes around courtesy.” Then she continued on her theme certain things, and then watch them have fun.”

Despite gentrification problems that of standing up to injustice wherever it lurks.

“I stand because you chose me to stand,” come with expansion in this city, we’re having she told the crowd. “So I don’t fear. I don’t fun watching Charlotte grow and evolve into have any fear, because I know I’ve got support. a city where anyone can make their stamp. So come along and join us. Having fun amid the I know that the people care.”

Around noon, the mayor gave the order madness may be the only way to keep sane in a stark-raving crazy world. to begin the march to Romare Bearden Park.

Feb. 2-11, 2018

Tickets on sale at matthewsplayhouse.com OR 704.846.8343 Matthews Playhouse is located at 100 E. McDowell Street, Matthews, NC

CLCLT.COM | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | 7

NEWS

FEATURE

A CITY IN NEED OF SANCTUARY Charlotte provides options for victims and abusers

BY RYAN PITKIN

A

text message Bea Coté recently received both inspired her and broke her heart.

She has experienced those emotions many times in the nearly 20 years she’s worked in the domestic violence field.

Coté is the founder and executive director of the Charlotte-based batterer intervention program IMPACT. When I caught up with her at a domestic violence conference in Uptown Charlotte on January 19, she was still thinking about the text she had received the previous night. It came from a woman named Dorothy, whose name has been changed to protect her. Coté met Dorothy four months ago, after Dorothy’s husband nearly beat her to death using a Maglite flashlight.

Before the incident, in which Dorothy lapsed into a coma due to a traumatic brain injury, she had a good job at a local hospital.

Since waking up, she has lived from one hotel room to the next, when she can get one, but has spent most of her time on the streets of Union County.

Dorothy’s text, which we’ve edited for spelling and punctuation, gives a peek into the mind of a victim who refuses to give up: “It’s been hard for me to get anywhere, to do anything. Believe me, I’m more than ready to work and without a doubt know I can get work, it’s the issue of staying warm and eating now,” she typed to Coté. “This is why I say I’m at the complete end of my rope. I know what I am capable of. I right now, though, have to have genuine help; one chance … Every trust and chance I have given people, I’ve been put further behind and further behind and right back to the beginning.

“I completely understand why the homeless stay homeless, and addicts stay addicts,” Dorothy continued, “just like I understand why most women don’t ever escape what I did and actually live a healthy, happy life after. But I have and I will, because I am hardheaded, lol. There’s so many people I can help and so many I have come in contact with during this period that I have tried so desperately to help. I don’t know how to help [myself] most days … But I’m trying. I may not get anywhere, but I promise I will die trying to.”

There are countless women like Dorothy in the greater Charlotte area — women who have lost it all due to domestic violence. And there are even more who are stuck in abusive relationships for fear of ending up on the streets if they were to leave.

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Tenille Banner in a common area at the Clyde and Ethel Dickson Domestic Violence Shelter.

In Mecklenburg County, only one shelter offers temporary housing for domestic violence victims and their children, and it remains full year-round.

Of all the services offered by the Charlottebased domestic violence advocacy group Safe Alliance, including a victim assistance office and sexual trauma resource center, perhaps the most impactful has been the Clyde and Ethel Dickson Domestic Violence Shelter, opened five years ago this winter.

The shelter has 80 beds and houses 120 people, a large improvement over the 29 beds at the organization’s former shelter.

Inside the shelter, the location of which is kept confidential to protect residents, a kitchen serves three hot meals a day to residents who live there for any amount of time, from a week to a year or even longer.

When Creative Loafing toured the shelter on a recent Sunday night, staff members at the entrance used cameras to identify anyone trying to enter the complex. Once inside, visitors have to identify themselves again to enter a gate, which gets them closer to a door. Once inside that door, visitors have to go through yet another door to enter a courtyard where kids run free and their parents can roam safely.

At around 6 p.m. at the shelter, kids chased each other down the hall after dinner, laughing. Down the hallway, rooms sat empty where residents would later meet for support groups, tutoring sessions and other types of meetings. A supply mart remained closed, but behind the door sat shelves stocked with diapers, menstrual items, school supplies and anything else residents might need from the free store that opens twice a week.

“We can never have enough baby wipes,”

said Tenille Banner, director of volunteer relations at Safe Alliance. “It kind of varies, depending on who’s in shelter, what the main need is. We have a lot of children the same age at the shelter right now; lots of toddlers that are 1 to 2 years old. Some of them have been here for a few months, so at one point it was size-four diapers that we were constantly running out and couldn’t keep enough of.

Now they’re up to size five.”

That’s an extremely important detail that affects the quality of life for a large chunk of the residents in the shelter, but it’s just one of a countless list of responsibilities and specifics that Banner must be aware of day in and day out.

Banner began at Safe Alliance as a volunteer, then spent three and a half years on staff working with residents before moving into her current role recruiting volunteers and doing community outreach to raise awareness about domestic violence issues and the existence of Safe Alliance and the shelter.

She said recent events like the murder of Brittany White by her husband Jonathan Bennet, which Creative Loafing covered in part one of our series on domestic violence, have gotten people more interested in helping, but she hopes that level of engagement will remain as high as it is now.

“Times like this, when there’s a story in the news, a high-profile incident, people want to know more so they start digging into it even more,” Banner said. “But if you aren’t the one affected personally and don’t know someone close to you, it’s very easy to forget that this is happening, but it is every day.”

It’s something that Banner can’t forget, as she grimly pointed out while welcoming me

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN

to the shelter: Just because you’re not seeing domestic violence on the news at any given time doesn’t mean her workload has dropped off at all.

“We’re so grateful to have this amazing space now,” she said, with a smile, while opening one of the multiple gates leading to the residential hall. “But unfortunately, we’re still always full.”

COTÉ SAID SHE appreciates the work of

those at the shelter, but she worries that not enough is being done around the city and surrounding counties for people like Dorothy.

“A lot of these victims don’t go to shelters,” Coté said. “Who is serving all these victims that don’t go to shelters? There’s a big, gaping hole.”

At IMPACT, Coté works with abusers, many of whom are court-ordered to attend a batterer intervention program. Similar to the group sessions that staff members at the shelter mediate on a nightly basis with victims and children, Coté works for an hour and a half every week with each male abuser in her program, which lasts from 26 to 52 weeks.

In those groups, abusers discuss how their backgrounds play into their core beliefs and behavioral patterns, Coté said.

“What made them feel they were entitled to this behavior? We get them to recognize that there was a decision-making process in place, so then we give them the tools to replace that belief system and that entitlement with equality — with nonviolent, non-controlling behaviors,” she said.

Coté has seen some of the more effective work done through IMPACT’s legacy program, in which men who have gone through the

program return and train to be facilitators.

Their identification with other abusers works in much the way 12-step groups do, where alcoholics and addicts help each other stay clean and sober.

“There’s nothing more helpful than having one of these legacy guys in the group,” Coté said. “It’s the thinking — they get it. They still have some of that thinking sometimes. So they’re still doing their work, while helping the other guys along, and that’s so much better than anything that I can do.”

While Coté builds long-lasting relationships with some of the men who have passed through her program, she never loses sight of the people she does the work for — the victims. She contacts the victims of the abusers she works with, as long as they want to speak with her. That’s how she met Dorothy.

“People don’t understand. They say, ‘You work with abusers,’ and I say, ‘Yeah, but it’s because I’m working with their abusers,’” Coté said. “They call me, and they just want me to know either that he’s not so bad, that he was once a loving guy, or they want me to know what a monster he is, because I’m working with him. So they want me to know these things, because my major job is to keep them safe.”

Coté recently learned from one victim that a man had broken her finger while he was going through the program. Although he had already graduated from IMPACT by the time the victim told her, Coté reported the man and he is now facing charges related to the new assault and a violation of his probation.

Coté says many men do not finish the program, especially those who are not courtordered to do so. That can be trying for her.

However, she learned early in her career with the Mecklenburg County’s Child Protective Services department that she won’t make much progress dwelling on the negatives she encounters.

“I think I learned a long time ago that you’ve got to be appreciative and grateful of all the small, little, tiny successes,” she said.

“And that keeps me going.”

For Banner, at Safe Alliance, a lifelong optimism has helped her continue her work in a field where so many victims fall back into the same cycles that they have suffered through in the past. She pointed out that it takes the average victim of domestic violence six to seven tries before they leave their abuser for good.

Until that happens, it’s not Banner’s job to pass judgment, she said.

“It can be trying at times, but that’s with any profession,” Banner said. “I can’t speak for everyone, but me personally, I try to look on the bright side of things with a positive outlook, just really trying to understand our clients’ perspective. In the time of getting an emergency protective order that lasts a few days, to having to go back to court again to make it a permanent one, they may have changed their mind and decided to give that person another chance. We just have to be understanding and supportive and be here for them if they decide later, ‘OK, now I can’t do this anymore.’”

What frustrates Banner is the victimblaming she hears. People who haven’t been in a similar situation often don’t understand the psychological reasons why women don’t

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN

More than 100 people showed up at the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Government Center on January 19 for a domestic violence conference titled, “Building Bridges for Family Justice.” leave abusive relationships, she said, and it hurts her to see people publicly shaming them for staying.

“There are lots of different reasons victims stay. So just understanding that cycle of abuse and how it works and how it traumatizes a person, that they have to rebuild their mindset and build themselves back up to know who they are again, that’s important,” Banner said. “We try to bring awareness to that, because victim-blaming is one of the biggest things we see — people putting it on them, that they could have just done a better job and got out.”

An important part of Banner’s job is to educate people, both young and old, about the cycle that victims of domestic violence can get stuck in, a cycle Creative Loafing will explore more deeply next week in the third installment of our series on domestic violence in the Charlotte area.

In the meantime, advocates like Coté and Banner will continue their work behind the scenes, whether or not the mainstream media continues to pay attention as recent high-profile incidents are replaced with other topics in the news cycle.

And true to form, Banner will remain optimistic.

“I see every day more and more people in the community reaching out,” Banner said. “I see different groups that typically may not have been involved or as concerned about domestic violence wanting to learn and educate themselves more. I think the more we work to improve our legal system, that will make all the difference, as well, in

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN

Bea Coté founded IMPACT, a state-licensed batterer intervention program, in 2007. people continuing to report more. We know one in four women are impacted by this and we know that’s actually a greater number,

because everybody’s still not telling, but I’m definitely hopeful.”

RPITKIN@CLCLT.COM

CLCLT.COM | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | 9

NEWS

NEWS

BLOTTER

BY RYAN PITKIN

BAD ROOMMATES Police recently responded to an assault with a deadly weapon call in University City last week and were able to get their hands on the weapon used in the crime: orange juice. A 19-year-old woman living in an apartment complex near UNC Charlotte believed she was poisoned by one of her roommates, and filed a police report claiming as much. According to the report, the victim told officers that the suspect harmed her by “putting an unknown sickening suspect” in a bottle of juice that belonged to her. Officers seized the juice for further testing, and the victim was listed as suffering just minor injuries.

FOOTSTEPS A lot of people took the day

off last week when snow fell throughout the greater Charlotte area, and one thief should have followed their lead. Police responded to Lumber Liquidators in west Charlotte after someone broke into the business and stole something, but left an easy trail leading to their own arrest. When employees found that someone had stolen a six-gallon compressor from the building, they quickly found a window that had been left open — which was odd because it was 7 p.m. on a very snowy Wednesday. Thanks to the snow, police were able to follow tracks left by the suspect, which showed “very specific shoe prints,” according to the report. The suspect was found just 40 yards away, carrying the compressor and wearing shoes that matched the tracks. Case closed.

FOOTSTEPS II Employees with the

Charlotte-based FDC Construction company learned last week that no good deed goes unpunished when they tried to help a family find a missing loved one and ended up with more work. According to a non-criminal report filed by the company, construction workers working on a home in the Cherry neighborhood were approached by a group of people who were looking for their missing sister at around 9 p.m. The workers allowed the concerned searchers to search through the house, and wished them luck when they didn’t find her and went on their way. About 30 minutes later, the workers went in the house and found that the searchers had all tracked mud throughout the house, to the point where a professional cleaning service would have to come in to fix it.

STUNG We all know that bees are dying off

in alarming numbers, and more are at risk now in north Charlotte after losing their homes to an unknown vandal. A 49-year-old woman called police to report that someone had done $2,400 worth of damage to her bee hives, which you would think have their own built-in defense system. If I were a detective, I’d be looking for a bear.

10 | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

NAUGHTY A 54-year-old man filed a police report recently after someone broke into his car and stole some grown-up toys. According to the report, the man woke up one morning to find that someone had broken into his car and stolen a single pair of toy handcuffs. At least he’ll already be easy to lock up once you catch him.

LIGHTS OUT A 39-year-old woman called

police last week after being all-too-easily tricked by a so-called friend in west Charlotte.

The woman told police she was hanging out with a guy in her hotel room, and when he was ready to leave at around 12:30 a.m., she asked that he “leave her property behind,” although it’s unclear why she felt the need to say that. Then, the man lived up to her suspicions, as he turned off the light and told her goodbye, but picked up two Playstation 4 controllers and a game and left the room with them while the lights were out and she couldn’t see.

NOT FARE Most people who screw over

taxi drivers just get out and leave without paying, but a woman in north Charlotte took things to the next level last week when she enlisted help. According to a report filed by the driver, the woman pulled the usual stunt of getting out and running when they got to her destination, but when he got out of his cab to follow her, another suspect came up to him with a gun and threatened to shoot him if he didn’t get back in the car.

LEAVE THE GUN, TAKE THE BLANKETS It’s OK to take a shampoo

with you when you leave a hotel room, but stealing electronics is a different story — and taking the bed set is just outright disgusting.

But that’s what happened at Knights Inn in southwest Charlotte when someone decided to help themselves when they check out of their room. Management at the hotel reported that the suspect stayed for just one night, but when they left, they acted like they owned the place, taking with them a $180 television, a mini fridge and all the bedding and towels.

LOST AND FOUND A 34-year-old Salisbury

woman filed a police report after a phone that she lost in Charlotte over the summer finally turned up recently. The woman told police that her phone fell from her pocket while she was riding the Fury rollercoaster at Carowinds amusement park last July. The woman had basically given up on the phone, probably assuming it had been shattered on impact once it hit the ground. That’s why she was surprised to receive a notification in the first week of January stating that her phone was functioning fine, and had actually been sold to an ecoATM kiosk, although it’s unclear exactly where. The woman filed a report with CMPD from Salisbury to help reclaim her long lost phone.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

WAIT, WHAT? Ikea has taken advertising in a whole new direction with its recent print ad for a crib. The ad, which appears in the Swedish magazine Amelia, invites women who think they might be pregnant to urinate on the paper to reveal a discounted price.

“Peeing on this ad may change your life,” the ad reads at the top of the page. “If you are expecting, you will get a surprise right here in the ad.” Adweek reported that the agency behind the gimmick adapted pregnancy test technology to work on a magazine page.

RECURRING THEMES In more extreme weather news from Australia, The Daily Telegraph reported on Jan. 8 that record high temperatures near Campbelltown had killed more than 200 bats, found on the ground or still hanging in trees. Cate Ryan, a volunteer with WIRES, an Australian wildlife rescue organization, came across the flying foxes and put the word out for volunteers to bring water to rehydrate the bats that were still alive. “I have never seen anything like it before,” Ryan said. “Ninety percent of the (dead) flying foxes were babies or juveniles.”

BRIGHT IDEA Chris McCabe, 70, of Totnes,

England, escaped a frigid death thanks to his own quick thinking on Dec. 15. McCabe owns a butcher shop, and he had entered the walk-in freezer behind the shop when the door slammed behind him. Ordinarily that wouldn’t be a problem, as a release button inside the freezer can open the door. But the button was frozen solid. So McCabe looked around the freezer and saw the shop’s last “black pudding,” or blood sausage, which he used as a battering ram to unstick the button.

“They are a big long stick that you can just about get your hand around,” McCabe told the Daily Mirror. “I used it like the police use battering rams to break door locks in. Black pudding saved my life, without a doubt.” He believes he would have died within a halfhour in the freezer, whci is set to minus 4 degrees.

GOD’S MUSIC In Albuquerque, New Mexico, a church’s new electronic bells are creating a living hell for neighbor Bernadette Hall-Cuaron, who has lived next to Our Lady of Guadalupe for years. “The bells ring multiple times a day during the week, and play ‘Amazing Grace’ during the week, and then they run multiple times again during the weekend,” she told KOB-TV in January.

“Because of the volume and frequency of the bells, this is not calling people to the church.”

Hall-Cuaron called the church to complain, but said since her request, “they have added ‘Amazing Grace’ every day ... a full verse.”

The pastor responded that he has lowered the volume but will not turn off the bells completely, as some in the neighborhood love them.

A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE One of Quebec

City’s iconic tourist attractions is its ice hotel, the 45-room Hotel de Glace. But on Jan. 9, the hotel’s most dreaded disaster, a fire, broke out in one of the guest rooms, the CBC reported. Manager Jacques Desbois admitted that “when I received the phone call, they had to repeat twice that there was a fire in the ice hotel.” Predictably, the flames did not spread and caused little damage to the structure, although smoke spread throughout the hotel and residents were evacuated. “In a room made out of ice and snow there are few clues to look at,” Desbois said, although each room has candles, and the hotel is considering the possibility that one of them caused the fire.

FAMILY VALUES Alyce H. Davenport,

30, and Diron Conyers, 27, of Southbridge, Massachusetts, couldn’t make it to the funeral of Audra Johnson, Davenport’s mother, on Jan. 5 because they were busy stealing a safe from Johnson’s home. Southbridge police started searching for the pair after Johnson’s boyfriend discovered the safe was missing, reported The Worcester Telegram & Gazette.

When police stopped Davenport the next day, they found the safe in the trunk of the car she was driving (also registered to Johnson) and seized it. Davenport and Conyers were arrested at a Sturbridge motel, where officers found jewelry, keys, cellphones and other documents, and the two were charged with seven counts related to the theft. “Alyce has a history of larceny, identity theft and forgery,” the police report said.

ARMED AND FRUSTRATED Linda

Jean Fahn, 69, of Goodyear, Arizona, finally succumbed to a frustration many wives suffer. On Dec. 30, as her husband sat on the toilet, she barged in and “shot two bullets at the wall above his head to make him listen to me,” she told Goodyear police when they were called to the scene. Fahn said her husband “would have had to be 10 feet tall to be hit by the bullets,” ABC15 in Phoenix reported, but officers estimated the bullets struck about 7 inches over the man’s head as he ducked. She was charged with aggravated assault.

CREME DE LA WEIRD An unnamed

41-year-old Chinese woman who had been suffering from fevers and breathing problems for six years finally went for a checkup in early January at a hospital in Tongchuan, Shaanxi Province, China. Doctors X-rayed and found an inch-long chili pepper in her right lung. Metro News reported that Dr. Luo Lifeng tried to remove the pepper using a probe but was forced to operate because it was lodged too deep to reach. He speculated that she had inhaled the pepper and then forgotten about it.

GO AHEAD, TAKE TWO An unnamed

Russian man, apparently desperate for a drink, stole an armored personnel carrier from a secured facility on Jan. 10 and used

PHOTOS BY RYAN PITKIN

NEWS

SPOTSHOTS

WOMEN’S MARCH RETURNS Dump Trump, Take 2

BY RYAN PITKIN

ON

JANUARY 20, the one-year anniversary of Donald Trump’s presidential inauguration, thousands took to the streets of Charlotte — joined by countless others across the country — to protest the president’s policies and stand up for women’s rights and other intersectional issues during the second annual Women’s March.

In the two hours leading up the march, which wound its way from First Ward Park to Romare Bearden Park, a diverse group of women took the stage to address the evergrowing crowd. Speakers included Charlotte City Council representatives LaWana Mayfield and Dimple Ajmera (pictured middle right); N.C. Rep. Carla Cunningham (pictured top left); Rev. Amantha Barbee of Statesville Avenue Presbyterian Church and MaryBe McMillan of the NC State AFL-CIO, among others.

During the march, CL caught up with Cunningham, who gave a quick rundown of the main points she made during her speech.

“The opportunity to take the state House is right at the pulse of our fingers to push in the ballot box,” Cunningha said.

“This is our time to get focused on the state of North Carolina, because there’s several more years to go before the presidential election will come back around, and if we want change, we have to start now.”

CLCLT.COM | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | 11

JUMP AROUND Defy Gravity As much as a winter coat can act as extra padding for a fall, it just gets in the way when you’re trying to get your trampoline jumping on. That’s why they created indoor trampoline parks.

Defy Gravity takes trampolines to the next level, adding games and obstacle courses to the mix. Avoid a dodgeball, flip off the wall, walk a tightrope and let a foam pit brace your fall. Let loose and be a flailing fool. Sounds therapeutic, right?

There are a few ways to do this. In addition to open jump times, DG has a designated Kid Jump for ages 6 and under only, college night for those in need of a student discount and club nights (they say it’s like a club with no gravity).

On Monday nights, you can get the whole family in for $45.

They also offer Gravity Fit exercise classes, which is a whole lot more fun than the treadmill. — Alex Sands Where: 8116 University City Blvd.

More: 704-817-4660. defycharlotte.com

WE MADE IT THROUGH THE FIRST SNOWSTORM OF THE YEAR UNSCATHED. (WELL, ‘STORM’ MIGHT BE PUSHING IT.) AND THAT GOT US THINKING: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE WEATHER TURNS AGAINST YOU AND THE OUTDOORS AIN’T AN OPTION? YOU EAT COMFORT FOOD, YOU DRINK WHISKEY, YOU WATCH MOVIES. WE’VE GOT ALL THOSE COVERED AND THEN SOME, IN OUR WINTER SURVIVAL GUIDE 2018.

MEATLESS COMFORT Bean Vegan Cuisine Obviously, comfort food is what you want to put in your body during the cold months. But when most folks think comfort foods, they think sirloin al sangue, prime ribs, burgers, pork chops, barbecue and, of course, hush puppies, mashed potatoes and mac-and-cheese.

But what if you’re a vegetarian or vegan?

Carnivores often ask veggie people, “What do you do for food that fills you up?”

Here’s what you do: You go to Bean Vegan. Yes, folks, veggie people, too, can enjoy delicious wintertime comfort foods just like grandma made — all you have to do is hold the meat (and for vegans, the cheese).

Bean Vegan chef Charlie Foesch’s good ol’ country cooking is warm and tasty, and the restaurant has tons of great wintertime options, from the famous fried pickles and fried tofu fingers (our favorites) to old-fashioned meatless meatballs, mashed potatoes — the works.

Foesch recommends this tried-andtrue combo for those nights when the

12 | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

YOU’LL ‘PROBABLY NEED SOME WINE’

ESCAPE FROM REALITY

temperature dips below 30 degrees: “A jalapeno cheddar burger with a side of mac-and-cheese or collard greens is a perfect winter meal,” he says.

“Warms you up, fills you up and doesn’t weigh you down.”

As they say in the marketing, “It’s good, y’all.” — Mark Kemp Where: 3001 E Independence Blvd.

More: 980-939-1234, eatatbean.com

Regal Manor Twin During that snow day we saw back on January 17, the folks at the historic Regal Manor Twin movie theater on Providence Road were proud to keep showing movies for as long as they felt it was safe to do so.

“Very seldom are we ever closed,” said general manager Brad Ritter, looking back on the snowcation. “That’s always a fun day. We have a lot of neighborhood people who walk in, and they’re all in a good mood because so rarely do we get to see snow. When everyone else is closed, we’re usually open.”

Last year, a couple of other Regal theaters in town showed all of the “Best Picture” Oscar nominees in binge-mode in the lead-up to the awards, but the Manor’s two-screen setup limits Ritter and company in that regard.

However, they’ll still be showing their new releases — most of which are hard to find in more mainstream theaters — in the cozy building come rain, sleet or snow.

If you’re looking to catch up before the Oscars, the Manor will still be showing Call Me By Your Name — nominated for multiple categories including Best Picture — for at least a few more days when this paper hits racks. — Ryan Pitkin Where: 609 Providence Road

Bond Street Wines “We have healthy sales on snow days,” Bond Street Wines manager Sam Bilski admits. “People are shut in, the kids may be at home, and it can be a stressful situation.

They’ll probably need some wine.”

The lesson is: If you’re going to batten down the hatches to keep the ice and cold at bay, you need to be properly provisioned.

And wine — lots of it — may be the perfect winter-survival supply. It has just the right amount of alcohol to act as an antifreeze, but it won’t make you so woozy that you decide that tobogganing off your roof is an awesome idea.

Launched in 2005, Bond Street Wines is a Charlotte-based establishment that takes a boutique approach to its wares, specializing in small and limited production wineries.

It also hosts tasting events throughout the year. For wintertime vintage sipping, Bilski recommends a red like a Cabernet or a Bordeaux.

“Saint Damien Gigondas, Paris Valley Road Cabernet and Altosur Cabernet Sauvignon are all a good bet,” he says. “Each is a perfect complement to bread and milk.”

Where: 605 Providence Road.

More: 704-521-1353, bondstreetwines.com

HANG OUT IN A BASEMENT

GLOVES OFF, HANDS ON Discovery Place Here’s a New Year’s resolution for you: Get smarter. That’s not hard to do when you’ve got everyone’s favorite science and technology museum in your city.

Take off your winter gloves as soon as you walk through the door, because these exhibits are interactive and hands-on. At the Think It Up exhibit, you’ll rely on your hands to solve problems and experiment. Then, learn more about what’s inside you at Being Me, an exhibit on health and human anatomy. Or, see the crazy innovations Leonardo da Vinci designed over 500 years ago at the Da Vinci’s

DRESS WARM AND STILL BE HIP Buffalo Exchange When the cold months fly in, you don’t have to sacrifice style for practicality. You can do both. If you haven’t heard of Bufflo Exchange, then you’ve been living under a rock, because seriously, the stores are all over the country. That being said, when Charlotte’s two-day long winter throws down, the Buff can hook you up with some warm, fuzzy, consignment goodness.

Machines exhibit. There’s also an exhibit called Cool Stuff, which is literally just cool, sciency stuff, without all the pretentious Neil Degrasse Tyson tweets.

After all that, you’ve still got Star Wars: The Last Jedi playing in the IMAX Dome Theater, for an additional $5 to your $17 entry.

On February 16, ditch the nostalgia and act like an adult at DP’s romantically themed “Flirting With Food” version of Science on the Rocks. — Alex Sands Where: 301 N. Tryon St. More: 704-372-6261. discoveryplace.org Conveniently located in trendy Plaza Midwood, Buffalo Exchange is a men’s and women’s clothing store where one might want to buy, sell or trade the grandparent’s wardrobe for beer money. Like other consignments, BE offers you 30 percent of the selling price in cash or 50 percent of the selling price in store trade. The clothes are priced reasonably, with an eclectic selection for even the pickiest of shoppers, and a decent variance in sizes.

The absurdly trendy staff is always available for suggestions or questions and is happy to help support you on your decision to buy leather chaps, in january, should the need arise.

So save the environment, make a quick $50 or buy pre-owned and look dope. Either way is a win for us all. — Dana Vindigni Where: 1521 Central Ave. More: (704) 372-2300; buffaloexchange.com

BASH BALLS Table Tennis League Winter Olympics are right around the corner, and we’ve got bad news for you: You won’t be in them.

However, there’s no better place to feel like an Olympian of sorts than the Charlotte Table Tennis Club. The league’s home within

Sir Edmond Halley’s The warm, cavernous atmosphere at Sir Edmond Halley’s is the perfect escape from winter weather, as there’s barely a window to be seen from any of the dining seats, leaving you to conveniently forget about the shitty climate right outside the door.

The dining room and bar offer a homey feel, but the real fun to be had is in the pub room. Stay snowed in and make some new friends at the stammtisch — or regular’s table — which seats 14 friends or strangers and is the perfect place to host a game or two of Scrabble, chess, checkers or backgammon.

The crew at Halley’s prides itself on

pouring the best Guinness in Charlotte, and who doesn’t love a good Guinness on a winter day?

They also put the beer into good use in their Guinness Stew, served only in the winter.

The mix of beef, carrots and onions cooked with Guinness and topped with mashed potatoes and sautéed vegetables will keep you just where you need to be — out of the cold, in the pub room, drinking with your friends. — Ryan Pitkin Where: 4151 Park Road (look behind Park Road Shopping Center) More: 704-525-7775, siredspub.com a game of hitting the ball mindlessly back and forth, table tennis is one of the most complicated and athletic individual sports.”

We’re not sure what the hell the difference is, but if you want to find out, new players of all ages are welcome to test out the club for $5 a visit. But don’t get discouraged if you’re defeated, because these guys are no joke. Just remember, practice makes perfect. — Alex Sands Where: Hawthorne Recreation League; 345 Hawthorne Lane More: 704-336-2008. ttcharlotte.org

the Hawthorne Recreation Center has 12 tables on the playing floor with three dedicated to practice rooms, so even the most inexperienced table tennis player can work his or her way up to be one of the greats.

You will be paired with an opponent of your skill level during tournaments, held Saturday and Sunday afternoons and Tuesday and Thursday nights.

To be clear, this is not your average pingpong game in your friend’s basement. This is a competitive and complex sport using high-quality equipment. According to the CTTC website, “while basement ping-pong is

CLCLT.COM | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | 13

there are warmer alternatives.

Inner Peaks has your rock climbing fix.

The entire building is an overwhelming assortment of colorful climbing holds to help you get high.

If you’re a beginner, staff can hook you up with rental equipment and Intro to Climbing courses throughout the week.

Kinetic Heights covers everything else, from obstacle courses to zip lines to high ropes to parkour training.

On January 27, KH is hosting an Ultimate Ninja Athlete Association competition, so if you’ve ever for some reason wanted to prove your ninja potential, here’s your chance.

The event is one for “ninja warriors, obstacle course racers, athletes and fitness enthusiasts,” according to the website.

Youth competes at 9 a.m. and adults at 12:30 p.m. — Alex Sands

CLIMB WALLS Kinetic Heights/Inner Peaks It’s that unfortunate time of the year when a trip to the Appalachians to get your adventure on really isn’t worth enduring temperatures in the 20s. Luckily, we live in a day and age where

Where: Inner Peaks, 2220 S Tryon St.; Kinetic Heights, 5664 International Drive More: innerpeaks.com, 980-242-3244; kineticheights.com, 704-412-4068

RESELL YOUR STUFF Clothes Mentor Thrifting, or consignment, got a face lift, so to speak. Clothes Mentor, a women’s consignment chain, is touting its “Upscale Resale Fashion.”

Sweet! As long as it’s still cheap, we don’t care what you call it.

If the winter months have left you, say, not “in love” with some of your old clothes, then why not get off your butt and make some quick cheese by selling them? Clothes Mentor will give you either cash or store credit for your duds (if they’re in good condition — hence, the “upscale” part). For you Skeptical Susans out there, this is one of the best used clothing stores in Charlotte.

Both locations are stocked floor-toceiling with a ridiculous amount of clothes, shoes, accessories and jewelry. Everything is organized by color, which of course is enchanting. There’s a huge variety of merch ranging from vintage to designer, a good selection of sizes, and the quality of the

clothing is like new. As avid CM customers, we can attest to it being a rather enjoyable experience.

So whether the weather has you up a couple of kilos or down a few, come sell or splurge on some (basically) new clothes this season. — Dana Vindigni Where: 901 South Kings Dr.; 8120 Providence Road More: www.clothesmentor.com

RETHINK THE LINKS Topgolf Winter Leagues Winter isn’t a great time to hit the golf course on a regular basis, unless you’re Donald Trump. No need to let that rust creep into your game, though. Topgolf offers winter leagues for two-person teams or teams between four and six players for those who want to keep that competitive streak going through the cold season.

In the two-person team league, for intermediate to advanced players, a six-week season of head-to-head matchups is followed up by two weeks of playoffs, which includes all teams and consists of match play. For the less experienced out there, the four-to-six

player team league is the better bet. That one consists of six weeks of stroke play followed by two weeks of playoffs, also match play.

Prizes for each league include free entry into the league next year and medals, and the winner of the two-player team league will move on to the 2018 Topgolf Tour Regional Tournament, free of charge. Winners also qualify for the 2018 Wells Fargo Championship at Quail Hollow. Ok fine, we made that last part up. Keep dreaming. — Ryan Pitkin Where: 8024 Savoy Corporate Dr. More: 704-612-4745. topgolf.com/us/ charlotte/

SWIM THROUGH STREAMS OF WHISKEY Great Wagon Road Distilling Company There’s an old Irish poem about imbibing whiskey in the winter that goes like this: It’s frigid Bridget, So ye and Hillary, hie to the distillery!

OK, we just made that up. But if you need a high-fallutin’, literary-sounding reason to tour a whiskey works, feel free to filch it.

At the Great Wagon Road Distilling Company, you can go swim through streams of whiskey, to borrow another literary-sounding

14 | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

phrase — this one from the great Irish punkfolk band The Pogues. You may not be able to literally swim through the amber-hued elixir, but you can certainly walk among pots full of the poitín, which is an evocative word for Ireland’s traditional distilled beverage, at Great Wagon Road’s distillery.

The establishment was founded by County Kildare native Ollie Mulligan, who comes from a long line of Irish whiskey makers — some more legal than others. (The distillery’s website

describes the business as “a place with character, built by a character.”)

You’ll need to book a reservation for tours, which take place Saturdays at 1 p.m., 2 p.m., 3 p.m. and 4 p.m.

After the tour you can purchase a bottle of GWR’s poitín, vodka or single malt whiskey. — Pat Moran Where: 227 Southside Dr. More: 704-469-9330. gwrdistilling.com

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CLCLT.COM | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | 15

FOOD

FEATURE

Just like a good book: Don’t judge Letty’s by its cover — the inside is delicious.

PHOTO BY LETTY KETNER

BETTER THAN RAZOR BLADES Letty’s serves up uncomplicated southernstyle food with 10 ingredients or less

BY PAT MORAN

L

ETTY KETNER would like to get the razor blade story out of the way before talking food. Oh, don’t worry — there’s none in the mouthwatering southern-style dishes she serves at the unpretentious Plaza Midwood eatery that bears her first name.

It’s the name itself. Letty is short for Gillette. She’s related to the people who brought us the Gillette razor blade.

Apparently, at the tail end of the 19th century, a distant cousin invented a blade you could shave with at home, she says.

“Our side of the family thought that was crazy,” Ketner says. “They said, ‘Who the hell would want that?’ So they’re the rich Gilletes. We’re not.”

Now, about the food. There’s a story there, too. Ketner, the woman who helped develop the recipes for such delicioius Letty’s offerings as the country fried pork chop and sweet potato veggie burger, doesn’t really like to cook.

“I’m proficient at it,” Ketner allows, “but I don’t find any joy in it. I get tickled when people tell me they just love to cook, and that nothing makes them happier than chopping carrots. I look at them like, ‘I don’t know what kind of crack you’re on.’”

One thing that does bring Ketner considerable joy is eating. In fact, one of her favorite dishes is the reason that, in 2012, she opened Letty’s in the building formerly occupied by Foskoskies Neighborhood Café and Pike’s Soda Shop.

“The honey pecan chicken on our menu is a recipe Elizabeth Pike had when this place was Pike’s Soda Shop,” Ketner says. “We came here religiously to have it.”

When Pike’s turned over to Foskoskies, the new owners kept the popular entrée on the menu. Then Foskoskies closed. And Ketner panicked.

“I thought, this cannot be,” she says, with a chuckle. “Where was I going to go to get my honey pecan chicken?”

Ketner asked Mrs. Pike for the recipe, and she graciously agreed to make it available for Letty’s. “Honey pecan chicken was one of the major incentives for me to open this restaurant,” Ketner says. “I can’t say whether that’s a good business decision, but that’s how it worked out.”

Here’s another little-known story: many 16 | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

“If [a recipe] has more than 10 ingredients, you can just forget about it!”

LETTY KETNER people assume the honey pecan chicken comes from an old family recipe, but Ketner reveals Mrs. Pike got it from a Southern Living Cook Book from 1970.

AT 63, KETNER has been in the restaurant business for more than half her life. She started when she was 17, waiting tables while still in high school in Greenwood, South Carolina. She attended Auburn University and the University of Alabama at Birmingham, and after graduation began working for a bank. But she also worked as waitress on the side to augment her income.

In 1985, she moved to Charlotte. After a brief stint at a now-shuttered Nickleby’s, Ketner landed a gig at Hotel Charlotte in Cotswold.

“I figured I’d hang out [at Hotel Charlotte] for a year or so — 25 years later I was still there,” Ketner says.

Starting as server at the neighborhood mainstay, Ketner eventually moved up to running the restaurant’s wine program — a task she maintains at Letty’s. The economic crash of 2008 hit Hotel Charlotte particularly hard. Ketner saw the writing on the wall and took a position as dining room and catering manager at Aldersgate United Methodist Retirement Community. She loved the work, but after three and a half years was ready to take on a new challenge. When she learned Foskoskies was about to serve its last meal and vacate its building on Shamrock Drive, Ketner jumped at the chance to launch her own restaurant.

“The opportunity presented itself, and I wanted to be able to say that I gave it a

The dining room isn’t usually this bare. On most days, it’s packed. Letty snapped this before opening time. shot,” Ketner says. She took the leap of faith in November 2012, and Letty’s opened the following month.

“We’re southern cooking with an individualistic twist,” says Ketner, who believes the best word to describe the restaurant is “uncomplicated.” She admires nouvelle cuisine, but maintains it’s not her thing. For curiosity’s sake, Ketner once printed out a list of the city’s 50 best restaurants, published in Charlotte Magazine,

PHOTO BY LETTY KETNER

and checked out the websites of each one to see what they had on their menus.

“Now I’m willing to try new things, but there was a whole lot of verbiage there,” she says. In contrast, there’s not a single item on Letty’s menu that uses the word “reduction,” she says.

Ketner also has little patience for overly complicated recipes. “If it has more than 10 ingredients, you can just forget about it.”

That said, the cozy 80-seat establishment

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— which adds an extra 20 place settings when its patio is open — has never shied from experimentation. Unlike other traditional southern- or comfort-cuisine joints, Letty’s has served vegetarian meals from the get-go.

When the restaurant first opened, Ketner collaborated with three chefs to set up the menu: Thomas Gilewski, who stayed on from Foskoskies; Jon Ferrell, who had worked with Ketner at Hotel Charlotte; and a Portuguese-American friend, Carlos Santos, who had come down from Massachusetts. It was Santos who pushed for the veggie items.

“He said we had to have more than just steamed veggies on rice with a boiled potato,” Ketner remembers, adding that the culinary crew went through an extensive trial-and-error process to devise appealing items. Ketner claims she can’t remember how many nasty vegetarian meatloafs she sampled before finding the proper mix of ingredients.

“I didn’t want it to include stuff you can find anywhere else,” she says. “I wanted to do something really different.”

In the end, the vegetarian meals, like all the items on Letty’s menu, had to pass Ketner’s taste test. “I don’t serve anything that I wouldn’t eat myself,” she says.

THE MEMBERS of the original kitchen crew have all moved on to new positions at different places, including Santos — but not before he helped develop the most unusual item on Letty’s menu. It’s a stacked-to–themax appetizer called hummachos.

“He was visiting his family in the Boston area and they went to a Turkish restaurant, which had a dish with pita bread, shredded lamb and chickpeas,” Ketner remembers.

“The thing that made it so delightful, unusual and delicious was the blend of seasonings that they simmered the lamb in.”

Santos got the seasoning recipe from the Turkish chef, and brought it to Charlotte.

Ketner replaced the Turkish ingredients for items Letty’s already had in its pantry — pinto beans substituted for chick peas, hamburger stood in for lamb. Now, in Letty’s dining room, when people see a hummachos platter headed to another table, they are intrigued and often ask to have one for themselves.

“It’s so aromatic,” Ketner says, “and it

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She may look serene, but Letty Ketner is a firecracker. tastes even better than it smells.”

Letty’s comfortable atmosphere and homey-yet-adventurous menu items have drawn patrons from all over Charlotte. Senior diners from Aldersgate come by frequently, Ketner says, and customers from the Cotswold area, who know Ketner from her Hotel Charlotte days, join them. Newer customers have discovered Letty’s — young married couples and groups of friends from Plaza Midwood and nearby neighborhoods, who mix and mingle with members of Charlotte’s LGBT community, longtime supporters of the restaurant, according to Ketner.

“You can bring your little kids in, because there’s not much to destroy here that I really care about,” she says. “You don’t have to dress. You can come in your sweat pants.

There are white tablecloths on the tables, but the reason for that is because the tables underneath them are really heinous.” She laughs. “We’re somewhere where you can go grab something to eat, relax for a little bit and not spend a fortune,” she continues.

“That was my intent when I opened the place.”

Well, that and keeping the honey pecan chicken recipe alive.

CLCLT.COM | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | 17

THURSDAY

25

‘LOVE IS THE MESSAGE, THE MESSAGE IS DEATH’ What: Mississippi-born artist and filmmaker Arthur Jafa stitches together found images to create gripping works that reveal media representations of black Americans.

His Love is the Message installation uses the rich, gospel-powered sounds of Kanye West’s “Ultralight Beam” as the soundtrack to a montage of footage that unpacks the complexities of black identity, from civil rights images to the L.A. riots to “The Dougie.”

When: 7 - 8:30 p.m.

Where: Smith Gallery, Davidson College, 315 N. Main St., Davidson More: Free. davidsoncollegeartgalleries.org

18 | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

THURSDAY

25

THINGS TO DO

TOP TEN

Lana Del Rey TUESDAY

PHOTO COURTESY OF LANA DEL REY

FRIDAY

26

‘A BAD IDEA GONE WRONG’

LYFE JENNINGS

What: The set-up of this botchedcaper comedy hits all the indie-movie tropes: Two lovable losers plan an inept robbery of a suburban mansion, and everything goes rapidly and predictably to shit. (The protagonists in this buddy flick even plan their heist in a diner, with a knowing nod to Pulp Fiction.) Once the thieves encounter an unexpected house sitter (the sharp and sassy Eleanore Pienta) the movie clicks on all cylinders. It gets smarter, funnier and ultimately quite touching.

What: Right out of prison at 25, Lyfe Jennings, wielding an acoustic guitar, cut a record one critic compared to R&B legends as wideranging as Gil (“The Revolution Will Not Be Televised”) Scott-Heron and D’ (“Brown Sugar”) Angelo. Hey, no pressure. In the video for Jennings’ “Must Be Nice,” he was seen leaving prison, a guard behind him warning, “He’ll be back.” He did go back. In 2010. But Lyfe’s been out for a while now, hitting the road now and then to reprise his truth tales and seduction songs.

When: 7:30 p.m.

Where: C3Lab, 2525 Distribution St. More: $5-10. c3-lab.com

When: 8 p.m.

Where: Oasis Auditorium, 604 Doug Mayes Place More: $33-$53. ticketmaster.com

FRIDAY

26 TAJ MAHAL What: Like jazz man Wynton Marsalis, Taj Mahal strives to keep classic American music styles alive for future generations. The resemblance ends there. While Marsalis takes a museum approach to his beloved bebop, trapping a golden age of pre-fusion Miles Davis in amber, Mahal knows that rural blues is a shape-shifter, a living tradition that reaches back to ragtime and field hollers while stretching outward to encompass reggae, Latin styles and more.

When: 8 p.m.

Where: McGlohon Theater, 345 North College St. More: $25 and up. blumenthalarts.org

SATURDAY

27

BLESS THESE SOUNDS UNDER THE CITY What: Get dreamy for this free night of shoegazey bliss. Not only will you experience the gentle, quirky chamber pop and hip-hop of Charlotte’s Bless These Sounds Under the City, but you’ll also get the whispery, electronic vibes of Raleigh’s Smoke From All the Friction. The comparatively less dreamy Messenger Down will pick up the tempo a bit, but for all intents and purposes, this will be a night for melodic contemplation, not for rocking out.

When: 8:45 p.m.

Where: Hattie’s Tap & Tavern, 2918 The Plaza More: Free. hattiescharlotte.com

Bless These Sounds Under the City SATURDAY

Lyfe Jennings FRIDAY

NEWS ARTS FOOD MUSIC ODDS

J-Live MONDAY PHOTO COURTESY OF J-LIVE

PHOTO COURTESY OF SPOTIFY

MONDAY

SUNDAY

29

28

TUESDAY

30

PHOTO BY SMALL CREATURES

WEDNESDAY

31

WEDNESDAY

31

DRAKE BRUNCH

J-LIVE

LANA DEL REY

ANTHRAX

AIMEE MANN

What: Started from the bottom, now we here. Grab all your friends who can’t afford to buy a home for the most millennial event to ever happen in Charlotte. DJ Edward Shouse will start spinning Drake tunes at noon, but Draught will be serving up its new brunch menu for two hours before that starts. The kicker: there is something called an “OMG Avocado Toast Bar” at this event, and we’re not even sure what that is but we’re intrigued. #YOLO.

What: The weekly Knocturnal hip-hop show at Snug Harbor has brought its share of both big names and more low-key underground acts to Charlotte, and the latter is the case when J-Live takes the stage this coming Monday. The former English teacher hung it up back in 2002, shortly after his debut album dropped the previous year, to drop knowledge on a broader scale, and he’s been killing it ever since. True hip-hop heads don’t want to miss this show.

What: Yes, this is an entry in our “Top 10,” but we must warn you: Lana Del Rey is terrible live. And that’s coming from the only person in the office who likes her music.

She’s the only SNL music act that the cast parodied the week after she performed. When Lauren Duca tweeted recently that seeing LDR live was “like watching an opera underwater,” she apparently meant it in a positive way, so some people do enjoy her lethargic, halfhearted stage presence. You may be one.

What: Younger generations only know of anthrax as the powder that nearly took out Tom DeLay, and only know of Scott Ian as a talking head on VH1 shows like I Love the ‘90s. But in the ‘80s, Ian shredded on stage for this iconic thrash metal band, one of the “Bg Four” along with Metallica, Slayer and Megadeath. Ian’s still at it — he’s the only member to have stuck with the band since the very beginning — and his band will be opening up for the more recent metalcore group Killswitch Engage.

Be ready to headbang.

What: Named one of the top 10 songwriters of all time by NPR in 2017, Aimee Mann’s 2012 album Charmer went down more of a poppy path. On Mental Illness, released this past March, she returns to her soft-spoken, intensely personal, acoustic roots, as can be heard in the single “Goose Snow Cone.” The former ‘Til Tuesday bassist drew inspiration from some of her favorite folk artists of the ‘60s and ‘70s for the new album, and we can’t wait to hear her sing it.

When: 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

Where: Draught Charlotte, 601 S. Cedar St. More: Food costs apply. draughtcharlotte.com

When: 9 p.m.

Where: Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St. More: $2. snugrock.com

When: 8 p.m.

Where: Spectrum Center, 333 E. Trade St. More: $25 and up. spectrumcentercharlotte.com

When: 7 p.m.

Where: Fillmore, 820 Hamilton St. More: $35. fillmorenc.com

When: 7:30 p.m.

Where: McGlohon Theater, 345 N. College St. More: $25 and up. blumenthalarts.org

CLCLT.COM | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | 19

MUSIC

FEATURE

SU CASA 2018 A celebration of music and culture of the African diaspora.

10 p.m. - 2 a.m.

Saturday, January 27. $10. Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave. petrasbar.com

‘EFFORTLESSLY COOL’ The queen of African diaspora dance parties launches her eighth year of Su Casa

BY MARK KEMP

W

HEN JASIATIC Anderson was a kid growing up in Charlotte’s Hidden Valley neighborhood in the late 1980s, she would sneak out of her mom’s house, take the No. 11 bus down to Tryon Mall and rifle through the vinyl bins at Shazada Music, looking for the perfect beat — the latest from the Real Roxanne, Eric B. & Rakim or Culture Club.

“Tryon Mall was popping in the ‘80s.

It was the place to go. It was where you went to get your pump jacket, your Michael Jackson jacket, your Madonna gloves,” says Anderson, who just goes by Jasiatic when she’s throwing her Su Casa parties, cooking up soul-affirming vegan and vegetarian fare for her food business Eat Your Bliss, or shooting photos for local media outlets.

Right now, Jasiatic is sipping hot tea at Central Coffee, wearing a black All Saints top, with purple highlights in her hair, purplepainted nails and oval-shaped earrings resting against her mocha skin. If you frequent Plaza Midwood or NoDa, you know Jasiatic: She’s the woman with the ever-morphing hairstyles, body full of spectacular tattoos and sometimes intricate designs painted on her face. Jasiatic is walking, talking art.

“She’s probably the coolest motherfucker I have ever met in my life. Just effortlessly cool. Cool comes out of her pores,” says Carlton Hargro, the former Creative Loafing editor who partnered with Jasiatic in 2011 to bring Su Casa (then Mi Casa) out of her NoDa loft apartment and into the now-defunct South End club Dharma Lounge.

Su Casa’s current casa is at Petra’s on Commonwealth Avenue, and it’s there that Jasiatic kicks off her eighth year of the party this week. The first Su Casa of 2018 will feature resident DJ Justice along with DJ Steel Wheel on the back patio. As always, the funky and soulful rhythms of Afrohouse and Afrobeat will snake their way through other African-based musical traditions, and regulars will be dancing to it. A face-painter will be on hand to color up the vibe, as will artist Dammit Wesley, who does livepainting performances. There will be film, photography and vendors of all kinds.

Jasiatic’s vision for Su Casa has always been rooted in the music of the African diaspora — the deep rumble of drums and bass, the soulful stuff that comes primally from the heartbeat of the continent, sounds that have spread with the people of African nations to places as far afield as Paris, Munich and the Caribbean. Su Casa events are often themed — sometimes around African musical figures like Fela Kuti, the great Nigerian singer, saxophonist and political activist who introduced Afrobeat to the larger world, and 20 | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

sometimes legendary American musicians such as Stevie Wonder. It has long been Jasiatic’s mission to introduce this music to people who may never have heard the sounds that are at the root of the most popular music we hear every day on the radio.

“There are people who don’t know what Afrobeat is; they’ve never been exposed to it, they’ve never heard of Fela Kuti,” Jasiatic says. “And it’s exciting to see them discover this music. It’s exciting to see them come into this space where they may have had stereotypes around certain things, and watch them have fun.”

Jasiatic may not be the first art impresario to throw multimedia events in Charlotte that are both fun and educational, but she’s certainly one of the more influential black women on the city’s underground scene.

Since she launched Mi Casa out of her home in 2010, younger generations of women and men of color have followed in her footsteps, including Loude Zue and Zue Moe, who throw Charlotte’s Urbanzue parties; the folks behind Afropop Charlotte! — Eric Ndelo, April Hood and Ifeanyi Ibeto — and the ringmaster of the city’s Funk-Shun events, Oba Amitabha.

In an interview with CL’s Kia Moore last year, Amitabha said that he had frequented plenty of parties Charlotte when he was younger, but “it was not until I went to Dharma Nightclub in 2011 that I saw a really diverse crowd and the focus was solely on nothing but the music. Dharma showed me that it was possible to find a crowd in Charlotte that was really into just the music and the fun.”

Jasiatic also showed Amitabha how music and art could be combined into a larger lifestyle and worldview. Not only does she bring her encyclopedic knowledge of Africanbased sounds to her happenings, but she brings her life philosophy: she’s vegan, she homeschools her children (who were ages 5, 7 and 10 when she started Mi Casa), and she’s always incorporated social justice into her events. “Jasiatic influenced my thoughts on parenting, nutrition, community leadership and cooperative economics,” Amitabha says.

To Hargro, it’s the “economics” bit that’s the key to Jasiatic’s success. “For all of her cultural acumen, she is also one hell of a businesswoman,” Hargro says. “That’s one of the reasons I wanted to work with her at all. She’s not a head-in-the-clouds type. She’s creative, but practical and sharp as hell.”

IN THE HIDDEN VALLEY of her youth,

Jasiatic learned early on that she was different from her peers. For one thing, her parents were not religious people.

“I’ve found over the years that growing up non-Christian was kind of atypical for the

Jasiatic poses for a recent shoot by her 13-year-old son, Sundiata, who is following in the footsteps of his photographer mom.

South,” she says. But though her parents did not take her to church, her grandmother did.

Jasiatic would tag along to House of Prayer, where she heard brass bands and other sacred sounds. “My grandmother also would play Mahalia Jackson for me,” she says.

Jasiatic absorbed those sounds, as well as those she heard on trips with her parents to New York City to visit other family members.

“I can remember hearing Kurtis Blow for the first time in New York, and coming home and talking about it,” Jasiatic says. “It was just so interesting to watch the birth of the hip-hop movement, something that’s influenced so many people around the world.”

After high school, Jasiatic studied at N.C. State University before transferring back home to UNC Charlotte, where she earned a degree in African Studies. After graduation, she immersed herself into community work — teaching, cooking, life-coaching.

But those early trips to New York had given Jasiatic a lifelong case of wanderlust, and she began traveling on her own — to other countries, where she could dig more deeply into the music and culture of the African

PHOTO BY SUNDIATA MACHEN

diaspora. “When I travel, I find these different spaces and find my vibe or my home in terms of dancing and music,” she says. “And so I’m going to all these different places, I’m dancing, I’m having fun — and then I come home and I can’t find that same vibe here.”

She wanted to dance in Charlotte, too.

She wanted to dance to the music in her head and in her heart; the music she knew people danced to in other cities and countries. She looked around her space at Highland Mills on North Davidson Street and had an epiphany.

“I had built a loft inside the structure, and we had a good amount of space,” she says. “So I said, ‘I’m gonna start a house party! This is what I want to do. I want it to be a safe space for dancing and music and art, and a space where children, my children, could come, too.’”

She called a friend, DJ Justice, who has become Su Casa’s longtime resident deejay.

“And so we started throwing these parties,” Jasiatic says, “and people were actually coming — to the point where the cops were getting called all the time.”

Her first Mi Casa event drew about 20 people, Jasiatic says, but quickly expanded

PHOTO COURTESY OF SU CASA

PHOTO COURTESY OF SU CASA

Alverson and

MUSIC

MUSICMAKER

SECOND HELPINGS Amigo finds fun ‘And Friends’ at Fidelitorium

BY BILL KOPP

Last year Su Casa threw its second tribute to The model for this poster from Su Casa’s second year is Dupp&Swatt’s Davita Galloway. the great Nigerian musician Fela Kuti. to more than 100. At the time, Charlotte stood in front of creatives.” was exploding, and music establishments of What Jasiatic would like to see is more all types were getting pushback from some black-owned spaces. “I think it’s very wellresidents, who complained to the city council known to all of us that, you know, there are and got noise ordinances passed. They people around us who help — they help and complained even louder about house parties. they give opportunities to us and all that,” Jasiatic already knew Hargro and told him she says. “But if there’s one thing that I would about her condundrum one day. “He said, like to see, it’s more ownership in Charlotte in ‘Why don’t you do it at a club?’ I said, ‘Yeah, terms of brown and black people.” yeah.’ And he said, ‘And why don’t I come on More ownership would mean more and I’ll handle this part of it and that part of opportunites to not have to feel unsafe in it, and we’ll do this together?’ So we did.” certain spaces, Jasiatic says. She refers to her Hargo takes credit for helping, but hastens travel experiences again. “When I’ve gone to point out that Su Casa is 100-percent her to parties in other cities, where there are vision. “Jasiatic is the living embodiment of Su thousands of people [venues], and you know Casa,” he says. “The event has her DNA all over security is not going to be harassing people; it — from the music to the art, etc. It is her.” it’s a very safe space, and that is the norm, and it’s OK...” She trails off. “I just don’t JASIATIC SIPS HER tea and slowly exhales. always see that in the venues in Charlotte.”

We’re discussing her influence on Charlotte’s When I ask if Jasiatic has considered music scene and she’s gotten a little tongue- opening a space of her own, she shakes her tied. While she’s heartened to see younger head in the affirmative. “But first I gotta slow black and brown people taking more control down a little bit and give myself a chance to and getting things done here, she warns that all figure out how that could happen,” she says. is not hunky-dory in the city.

“It’s definitely something I’d love to do, but “I’m always happy to see more black and you know, Charlotte is also very tricky in brown people, and more women, pushing terms of real estate. There are so many walls boundaries with different types of music,” she and areas around ownership that. . .” She says, but adds that it’s important not to forget trails off again. “Well, you know.” the barriers that have held people of color For now, Jasiatic would like to see more back from doing things in Charlotte in the different kinds of music in Charlotte — music past — barriers that are still very much intact. that may not fit into Su Casa’s format, but She points to the struggles of nightlife pioneer that’s new and adventurous and still created Bunny Gregory, whose Underground events by black and brown people. spurred a wildly creative hip-hop scene that “Su Casa is a space for certain kinds of continues to grow, while police harassed her Afro-genres to thrive, but there’s so much other and her venue was eventually shuttered. And music that I’m still not hearing here,” she says.

Davita Galloway, whose art space Dupp&Swat “I’m in the process right now of figuring out serves so many Charlotte creatives, and yet how to get some of that going. Like black indie last year got pushed out of NoDa, the result of music in general — not just indie rock, but all gentrification. (Dupp&Swat has since moved to the black indie-soul genres that are outside of The Plaza in the Belmont neighborhood, and R&B that we just haven’t created spaces for yet.” opened a second location at Camp North End.) Turns out the little girl who once snuck “When you’re from a place, and you’ve out of her mom’s house to go rifling through been here for a while, it’s very important to the vinyl at Shazada Music hasn’t changed be honest about things,” Jasiatic says. “I think all that much. Jasiatic Anderson still has sometimes when people...” She pauses. “How a voracious appetite for discovering new do I phrase this? I’m a proud native, but I’m frontiers and sharing her riches.

MKEMP@CLCLT.COM also very aware of the constructs that have

TWANG ROCKERS Amigo have seen their profile raised this past year.

Creative Loafing named the Charlotte group Best Gram-Parsons-LovingCountry-Rock Band of 2017 in the annual Best of Charlotte issue, and the outfit recently completed its second LP, Baird (garish in red) with fellow Amigos And Friends, with producer Mitch Easter at Making And Friends, we did a lot more his Fidelitorium Recordings in Kernersville. live. We recorded with Mitch, and we were With And Friends, Amigo continues more confident going into this one. We to build on a foundation that draws from wanted to let our live sound come through, country, folk and rock. The album benefits let our personality as a band take the center from a more streamlined and focused stage, and make it sound like us. approach to the studio from the one Amigo employed on its 2014 debut, Might Could.

How did Mitch Easter’s involvement While the music is credited to the whole affect the finished product? group — guitarist and singer Slade Baird, I think the thing that really stands out from drummer Adam Phillips, bassist Thomas working with him is just how at ease he made Alverson (and soon, keyboardist Molly Poe) us; we immediately felt comfortable. The — Baird writes Amigo’s words. And he writes place is in the middle of a tobacco field; you them spectacularly, on tracks ranging from just feel like you’re in the middle of nowhere. the raucous “Underground Medicine” to the So you just roll up your sleeves: “All right. gentle and heart-wrenching “I Wanna Live.”

I’m gonna be creative for a whole week here!”

We caught up with Baird to talk with When I listen back to And Friends, there’s him about the making of And Friends. (Also an ease. Mitch’s demeanor makes making be sure to check out CL’s Local Vibes podcast rock ’n’ roll fun, and I think that comes out. with Baird this week at clclt.com, and don’t miss Amigo’s album-release show at Snug The way you play the album’s one Harbor on January 27.) cover — John Prine’s “Everybody” — reminds me of Jason & the Scorchers’ Creative Loafing: I detect influences from reinvention of Bob Dylan’s “Absolutely Moby Grape, Poco and even All Things Sweet Marie.” When you choose to cover Must Pass-era George Harrison. What a song, is the goal to change it around each of those has in common is a rock and make it your own? foundation with a country sensibility.

It’s exactly like that, but ... well, I’ll just tell Does that describe Amigo as well? you how we ended up doing that song: I Slade Baird: I grew up in the South, but was writing a song, and it was a fast-tempo I didn’t grow up listening to that kind of country rocker. I was getting really excited music. I listened to classic rock radio. But about it and I was just about to start writing once I really started digging into rock ’n’ roll lyrics. And then I realized that it was the records, the sounds of that era captured my melody to “Everybody.” So I was like, “Well, imagination in the same way that movies fuck it. I’m not gonna try to rewrite this from that time do. There’s a warmth and a song. I’ll just cover it.” certain kind of tonal color palette that just feels like home to me. And I don’t know why The title of “(When I Fool) You (Into) that is. But yeah, that’s exactly what we’re Loving Me (Again)” makes really going for: that early-’70s sweet spot where awkward use of parentheses. You did young rock musicians were really connecting something similar with the Kinks-like with the classic country sound. title of “Where Have All the Bad Times Gone (To)?” on Might Could. Is there How did your approach making And something deeper at work there?

Friends differ from the way you’ve made It’s kind of a personal joke to me. I always previous recordings? try to think what’s gonna stand out, whether The three of us have been playing together it’s something that’s just funny to me or now for four years in the current lineup. whether it’s something that would add to the But when we went in for the first record, we song in some way. But yeah, there’s a hidden were a new band and didn’t have a consistent message between the parentheticals. lineup. So we used the more modern studio approach where we tracked one [instrument] Find out that deeper meaning on CL’s Local at a time.

Vibes podcast this week at clclt.com.

CLCLT.COM | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | 21

MUSIC

SOUNDBOARD JANUARY 25 CLASSICAL/JAZZ/SMOOTH Harry Pickens Solo Piano Performance (Davidson College Tyler-Tallman Recital Hall, Davidson)

POP/ROCK Carmen Tate Solo Acoustic (Eddie’s on Lake Norman, Mooresville) Astrea Corp, Flls, Deion Reverie (Petra’s) Scott Moss (Comet Grill,) Shana Blake and Friends (Smokey Joe’s Cafe) The Sibling Rivalry Tour: Hannah Wicklund & The Steppin Stones, The High Divers (Evening Muse) Victor Wainwright, Moses Jones (The Rabbit Hole)

JANUARY 26 BLUES/ROOTS/INTERNATIONAL Taj Mahal (McGlohon Theater)

CLASSICAL/JAZZ/SMOOTH

JANUARY 27 BLUES/ROOTS/INTERNATIONAL The Beverly Davis and Garry Burnside Band (Morehead Street Tavern) Su CASA: The January Edition! (Petra’s)

CLASSICAL/JAZZ/SMOOTH Charlotte Symphony Lollipops: Stone Soup (Knight Theater) Charlotte Symphony Pops - Dancing Queen: The Music of Abba with Arrival From Sweden (Knight Theater) Dancer Aan Percussionist Duo Stb X: Sean Thomas Boyt and Dr. Andy Thierauf (Queens University)

Charlotte Symphony Pops - Dancing Queen: The Music of Abba with Arrival From Sweden (Knight Theater) Jazz Ensemble Residency Concert featuring Harry Pickens, Piano (Davidson College’s Duke Family Performance Hall, Davidson)

DJ/ELECTRONIC

COUNTRY/FOLK

Be Fearless Gospel Explosion: Jekalyn Carr, Jermaine Dolly, LeJuene Thompson (Ovens Auditorium) Lyricist’s Lounge (Upscale Lounge & Restaurant)

The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)

DJ/ELECTRONIC DJ Red (RiRa Irish Pub) Drop !t Featuring Nghtmre (The Fillmore) Rotation ft Gex + Foundless & Friends (Crown Station Coffeehouse and Pub)

POP/ROCK Nu Sound Local Artist Showcase: Sparkman.

Kyle Forman. Blu House. Butterfly Corpse. Artist Vice (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) Paleo Sun (Slate Billiards) Black Cat Attack, No Anger Control, Poison Anthem, Children of October, The Commonwealth (Snug Harbor) Caroline Keller Band, Brandon Berg (Evening Muse) Fiftywatt Freight Train (The Underground) I Am Her Concert Series: Joi James, Ashley Smith, DJ PahRi (Morehead Tavern) 22 | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

Jay Mathey Band (RiRa Irish Pub) Jay Taylor (Tin Roof) Tim Barry, Laura Stevenson, Roger Harvey (Milestone) Willie Douglas (Smokey Joe’s Cafe) Yarn, Dangermuffin (Visulite Theatre)

DJ Method (RiRa Irish Pub) Oliver Long (Crown Station Coffeehouse and Pub) Tilted DJ Saturday’s (Tilted Kilt Pub & Eatery)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

POP/ROCK Amigo (Album Release), Sinners & Saints, It’s Snakes (Snug Harbor) Avalon Steel, Children of the Reptile, Knightmare, Mortal Man, Neverfall (Milestone) Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Night Beats (The Underground) Crane, Lovely Budz (Evening Muse) Crimson Calamity, Séance Kids, Sparkman (Evening Muse) Donna the Buffalo (Neighborhood Theatre) Dylan Schneider (Tin Roof) Fish Out of Water (Thomas Street Tavern) For Pete’s Sake IV: Occasional Gentlemen, Lotion, The Brothers and Sisiters Revival, Dr. Sowell’s All Star Band, Queen of Hearts, Moosehead Wings (Visulite Theatre)

SOUNDBOARD

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MUSIC

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JANUARY 31

BLUES/ROOTS/INTERNATIONAL

The Underground Owls (Smokey Joe’s Cafe)

Ritmo Latino Dance Social: DJ Pete “El Calentador” (Morehead Tavern)

JANUARY 28

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B Bone Snugs-N-Harmony (Snug Harbor)

POP/ROCK Best Wings in NoDa-A Benefit for the Men’s Shelter of Charlotte: Rat Poison (Evening Muse) Heather Maloney (Evening Muse) Must Be the Holy Ghost, Deaf Poets, Sext Message, Rothschild (Milestone) Omari and The Hellhounds (Comet Grill) Redleg Husky (Free Range Brewing Company) Starset, Grabbitz, Year of the Locust (The Underground)

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HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B #MFGD Open Mic (Apostrophe Lounge) Knocturnal (Snug Harbor)

Dee-1: Slingshot David Tour (Neighborhood Theatre) Keys N Krates, Falcons, Jubilee (The Underground)

DJ/ELECTRONIC Cyclops Bar: Modern Heritage Weekly Mix Tape (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK Aimee Mann, Jonathan Coulton (McGlohon Theater) LeAnn Rimes (Knight Theater)

POP/ROCK Carmen Tate Solo Acoustic (LakeTown Tavern, Cornelius) January Residency: Swim in the Wild, The Business People, Daddy’s Beemer, The Bloodworth Project (Snug Harbor) Film Class Concert with Ethan Uslan, Piano (Davidson College Tyler-Tallman Recital Hall, Davidson) Holey Miss Moley, The Real (The Rabbit Hole) Killswitch Engage, Anthrax (The Fillmore) Pluto for Planet (RiRa Irish Pub) The Winter Sounds, Belle Adair, Josh Taerk (Evening Muse)

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CLASSICAL/JAZZ/SMOOTH The Birdland All-Stars Featuring Tommy Igoe (McGlohon Theater)

COUNTRY/FOLK Red Rockin’ Chair (Comet Grill)

POP/ROCK Dex Romweber, King Cackle (Snug Harbor) Lana Del Rey (Spectrum Center)

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SATURDAY, FEB 17

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SATURDAY, MARCH 17

FRANK FOSTER WITH SPECIAL GUEST DENNY STRICKLAND LIMITED ADVANCE $10 ALL OTHERS $12

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CLCLT.COM | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | 23

ARTS

FEATURE

‘THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE’ $25-44. Jan. 25, 7:30 p.m.; Jan. 26, 8 p.m.; Jan. 27, 2:30 p.m.; More showings through Feb. 17.

Hadley Theater, 2132 Radcliffe Ave. atcharlotte.org

ACTOR’S THEATER FINALLY FINDS A HOME The celebrated troupe has new plays, a new place and renewed hope

BY PERRY TANNENBAUM

T

RASHY MUSICAL pieces,

irreverent spoofs and trendy new works from black and feminist playwrights aren’t the o n l y things Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte has done well for the past 29 years. Around the country, when artistic and administrative staffers from Actor’s Theatre attend national conferences with colleagues, they find that a big part of the company’s reputation rests on its commitment to nurturing new plays.

After two years of instability and uncertainty — and two full seasons without reviving its NuVoices Festival — Actor’s Theatre is getting back on track. This week, it opens Meridith Friedman’s The Luckiest People, part of a rolling world premiere that began in Denver. In May, the company will be part of another rolling world premiere, presenting David Valdes Greenwood’s The Mermaid Hour.

Both plays were previously presented in reading stage productions at NuVoices 4 in January 2016, with all of the actors performing with scripts in hand — no scenery, no costumes and with limited rehearsal.

NuVoices 4 was one of the last events on East Stonewall Street, ATC’s last permanent home, before developers’ wrecking balls demolished the site. After a misadventure in the Belmont neighborhood near Plaza Midwood, the company was slated to reopen on Freedom Drive in late October of 2016.

Instead, Actor’s Theatre had to move Toxic Avenger a block away to the City Center Church, the first of four sites where ATC staged its 2016-17 season. Until last fall, when it launched its current season with American Idiot, subscribers never knew where the next production would crop up.

That’s when ATC announced that Freedom Drive was still on hold and that its next two productions would remain at Hadley Theater on the Queens University campus.

But what about after that? Now we know.

Luckiest People, Mermaid Hour and The Mountaintop all will be at Hadley. More importantly, ATC executive director Chip Decker and John Sisko, dean of Queens’ 24 | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

John Sisko (left), the dean of Queens University’s College of Arts & Sciences, with ATC executive director Chip Decker.

College of Arts and Sciences, have just inked a deal that will keep ATC on campus as the university’s resident theater company for the next five years.

From necessity to desperation to nearrelief, it’s been quite a rollercoaster for Decker, his board members and ATC’s loyal fans. “We’re off life support but still in ER,” Decker quips. “In a better hospital.”

Sisko arrived at Queens in the summer of 2016, when all seemed to be going smoothly with ATC’s relocation. After the abortive opening in October and a subsequent revival of The Great American Trailer Park Christmas Musical at the McBride-Bonnefoux Dance Center — a horrid acoustic mismatch for a live musical — Sisko wasn’t hearing any signs of life, so he reached out.

Down on Freedom Drive, one hurdle followed another. Parking had to be upgraded to satisfy the city, and architects’ drawings kept getting sent back for tiny inaccuracies.

Think about this one the next time you walk through the flat concrete of a parking lot to find your car: Decker and his company had to shell out thousands to get an engineer to certify that the concrete slab — one that had held up a mechanic’s shop and the building itself for 50 years — could support an audience.

“We were slowly bleeding money to

death,” Decker says.

After Bootycandy ran at Mint Museum, Stupid Fucking Bird was staged at the Hadley last spring, a clear signal that Sisko and Queens University brass were unfazed by ATC’s edgy fare. Decker quickly recognized that this was the finest venue his company had ever performed in. By far.

The lightbulb came on, and Decker invited Sisko out for coffee and a chat about the future.

“It took me a long time to quit beating my head against the wall to make Freedom Drive happen,” Decker recalls. “Having the passion for something and wanting it so bad, I kind of started being blind to the writing on the wall.

We were at the point — and I shared this with John — I said, ‘We’re do or die. We’re either going to close, or something different is going to work.’”

When Sisko saw how well Stupid Fucking Bird went, concern about ATC’s struggle gave way to recognition of the opportunities that bringing the company on board could open up at Queens. ATC could offer technical support for its theater department productions during the academic year; it could offer internships to graduating students; it could oversee a summer theater festival with performances on the quad under the stars, and it could teach courses about theater production and

PHOTO BY CARRIE CRANFORD

administration.

“ATC is the backbone of the Queens theater program, and it’s a mutually beneficial relationship,” Sisko says. “We have parents who are a little worried about their children being an arts major. But when they’re an arts major and they have 30 credits on the business side of the arts as well, then they are in better position when they face postgraduation.”

TALKS ARE UNDER way on the possiblity of reviving the NuVoices Festival as early as this summer, and Decker is already salivating at that prospect. At previous festivals, the four playwrights, four directors and their casts had to rehearse and perform on a single space at Stonewall.

On the Queens campus, there will be multitudes of classrooms at ATC’s disposal; playwrights will be able to interact and talk shop, or simply do rewrites — on the quad, in some greenspace, or in a classroom instead of a hotel.

“They can all come together and talk about the process of playwriting, what it takes to get it produced,” says Decker.

“Queens can bring in their MFA creative writing students for master classes with the playwrights on how do you get seen, how do you get published, how do you get your word

ARTS

The Luckiest People stars Susan Stein (from left), Dennis Delamar, Tim Ross and Scott A. Miller

FILM

PHOTO BY CARRIE CRANFORD

SONY PICTURES CLASSICS

Armie Hammer (background) and Timothée Chalamet in ‘Call Me by Your Name.’

THAT’S AMORE COMING OF AGE IN ITALY

BY MATT BRUNSON

Delamar gets real with Ross. out there, what it literally takes to become a professional writer on the scene,” he adds.

With the opening of The Luckiest People this week, ignition for the process gets revved up again, because NuVoices is one of very few festivals across the country that promises a full production for every winning entry.

Dennis Delamar, a longtime actor and director at ATC, is doubly excited: He’s reprising the central role of Oscar Hoffman two years closer to the irascible old SOB’s actual age, and he’s performing for the first time at the Hadley knowing the company has a permanent home again.

NuVoices gives his role an extra charge, Delamar says. “Being on the ground floor of a new piece of theater is pretty thrilling — a professional collaboration that offers one an opportunity to offer one’s own unique interpretation while the playwright is still in the ‘making it better’ stages,” he says.

Participating in NuVoices gave Delamar the opportunity to meet playwright Meridith

PHOTO BY CARRIE CRANFORD

Friedman and learn first-hand how she drew the character of Oscar from her own Great Neck, New York, grandfather.

Thanks to Facebook, Delamar stayed in touch with Friedman, conferring with her when she made further revisions.

“I felt quite comfortable to write to her about a significant moment for Oscar I noticed had been changed,” Delamar says.

“Taking time to explain to me the history and logic of the change, Meridith reminded me how much I appreciate working with this gifted and open-minded writer.

“She listens. She is wise,” he adds. “I agreed with the change and loved that we could confer so openly about it.”

Yes, the thrill is back at ATC — with new plays and new hope.

“All the signs from this last year together suggest that it’s going to work out extremely well,” Sisko says.

BACKTALK@CLCLT.COM

TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET seemingly appeared out of nowhere to win over a dozen critics’ awards this past year. Not bad for a kid who could only legally buy a drink approximately 12 months ago. Chalamet played supporting roles in Lady Bird and Hostiles (which finally opens wide next weekend), but it’s his starring role in Call Me by Your Name (***1/2 out of four) that’s allowed him to rack up the plaques and statues.

It’s easy to see why. Young actors who headline coming-of-age tales are required to carry much of the pictures’ emotional bulk, and Chalamet pulls it off with uncanny intuition in Call Me by Your Name. The film serves as a lovely bookend piece to Lady Bird, which finds Saoirse Ronan similarly delivering a smashing turn as a teenager coping with growing pains.

While Lady Bird is set in Sacramento, California, in 2002, Call Me by Your Name travels a farther distance in terms of both time and geography. Unfolding in Italy in 1983, it finds 17-year-old Elio (Chalamet) enjoying a leisurely summer in a lovely villa owned by his parents. Elio’s Jewish-American dad, Mr. Perlman (Michael Stuhlbarg), is an archaeology professor, while his Jewish-Italian mom, Annella (Amira Casar), is a translator. They’re both highly intelligent and compassionate, and one of the joys of the film is basking in the closeness and comfort all three enjoy together (a far cry from the dysfunctional families generally seen on screen).

Every year, Mr. Perlman invites a graduate student to assist him with his work; this summer, it happens to be Oliver (Armie Hammer), a 24-year-old hunk who’s as smoldering as he is smart. Elio has a girlfriend in the sweet and sensible Marzia (Esther Garrel), but he nevertheless finds himself drawn to Oliver. Their mutual attraction soon leads to the pair embarking on an affair, and everything seems to be going peachy until both realize that summer is coming to

a close and their remaining time together is short-lived.

André Aciman’s novel has been adapted

by James Ivory (best known as half of the Merchant-Ivory brain trust that created Howards End and The Remains of the Day), with Luca Guadagnino (A Bigger Splash) serving as director. Together, they have fashioned a film that works on various levels, not the least being its insistence on lush visual cues. The laziness of the summer season, when adolescent cares are few and inviting bodies of water loom large, is captured in resplendent fashion, and cinematographer Sayombhu Mukdeeprom and editor Walter Fasano beautifully pace the picture to capture these intoxicating vibes.

The relationship between a 17-year-old and a 24-year-old might understandably give many pause, particularly in the current climate of Spacey-Weinstein shenanigans.

Yet, significantly, that’s not the case here (although, predictably, the heinous and homophobic hypocrite James Woods took to Twitter to rally fellow alt-right idiots, prompting Hammer to retort, “Didn’t you date a 19-year-old when you were 60?”).

Call Me by Your Name isn’t a brutish tale of power abuse but rather one of a youngster discovering his own desires and proclivities during that period when experiences and experimentation are as crucial to one’s development as food and water (at any rate, the age of consent in Italy is 14, so, despite Woods’ whining, no man-made laws were being broken).

The movies’ dual themes of family and first love are particularly brought home in a smashing monologue delivered by Mr. Perlman to his son, a sensitive speech invoking parental pride, bittersweet ruminations, and that cherished storytelling standby: the road not taken, but one that will forever wind through the recesses of the mind.

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NIGHTLIFE

Playmates and soul mates

NOT JUST FOR THE GOOD OL’ BOYS Midwood is home to my kind of Country Club

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WHEN YOU HEAR the words “country could make the walk from Jack’s, I decided to club,” what comes to your mind? Golf. Old err on the side of caution since I wasn’t 100 white men. Pretentious attitudes. Khakis and percent confident I knew where the venue was. a button up.

My Uber drove past Resident Culture Those phrases represent my most censored way of describing a space that, in Brewing and there it was. Immediately, I had certain circles, is viewed as the “good ol’ boys’ Thirsty Beaver dive bar patio vibes. There was club.” I know, I know, #hatersgonnahate, a post-and-chain situation happening outside cordoning off the patio but I didn’t see this at right?

Nevertheless, according to Google: a first and had the stars not aligned and a fine, country-club is a privately owned club, often young gentleman alert me, I would’ve have with a membership quota and admittance cleared. that. patio. out!

Upon entry, I couldn’t believe I’d stressed by invitation or sponsorship, that generally offers both a variety of recreational sports myself out about the “expectations for attire.” and facilities for dining and entertaining. This was no country club at all. If giving this divey watering hole-meets-sports bar the *insert Quinta B’s “he got money!”* Now that we’ve gotten logistics out of the name “country club” wasn’t a middle finger to “the man” and the “good ol’ boys,” I don’t way, let’s talk about Midwood Country know what was, and I fell in love.

Club (MCC).

We were post-snowpocalypse Have you heard of it? I legit so, as you can imagine, there just started hearing about weren’t very many people MCC within the last few inside the bar. In fact, the months, and after all of only features I noted in the hooplah surrounding the spacious venue were “memberships” in a covered bar to the left, Charlotte almost two a few high-top tables, a years ago, the last thing TouchTunes and a couple I was focused on was pool tables. joining a country club and And yet, the dive vibe paying any more than $1 was something I could get AERIN SPRUILL for a membership. Little did down with.

I know…

Later, I learned that not only This past weekend I was I late to the party hearing about discovered that one of my boo’s friend’s partner worked at MCC and the crew Midwood Country Club, I was over three years late to be exact. was going to go.

That’s right, it’s been open since 2014.

By this point, I’d asked quite a few people who’d mentioned the spot what to expect. I clutched my pearls in shock and awe that I’d imagined an upper echelon Charlotte I could call myself a nightlife guru and yet, nightlife venue: picture Fahrenheit or The hadn’t stumbled upon this spot right around Punch Room. A dimly lit room, deep red rugs, the corner from everything I call home.

Not to mention, as is the case with most a cigar room and maybe a pool table.

I remember a friend asking me if I wanted divey joints around Charlotte, I could tell in to come with them and I responded, “No, I’m less than an hour that this spot has its own regular characters. not dressed for that type of occasion.”

Just like the Corner Pub has regular They responded with a giggle but if I knew then what I know now it would make passersby like Will and “Pretty Eyes” that add complete sense why they wore a face of the seasoning that makes CP everything that it is, I can’t wait to discover who those gems confusion.

But I digress. Saturday I was drinking are at MCC. I christened one of my new favorite spots butterflies away at “the new-ish” Jackalope Jack’s in Plaza Midwood with one of my when I accidentally took over TouchTunes and played my favorite Lil’ Wayne song friends.

That same friend was supposed to pick “Lollipop.” And now that stuttering chorus me up and accompany me to this month’s that anyone and everyone recognizes will Sofar Sounds secret live music gig, but alas, always be connected in my mind with my late he fell asleep. So there we were getting lit discovery of a new favorite country club for before I was off to meet my boo thang who the real “good ol’ boys” (and girls).

Side note: I see a “must-see dive bar” list in would soon be heading to MCC. I looked up Midwood Country Club on the near future, faithful followers.

BACKTALK@CLCLT.COM my GPS and, even though I was pretty sure I

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FeeLing Lonely?

CROSSWORD

LETTER ADDENDA ACROSS

1 Faux -- (social slip) 4 Tangos, e.g.

10 Singer Anka 14 May greeting card salutation 19 “C’-- la vie” (“That’s life”) 20 Tristan’s love 21 Up to the job 22 Bayer brand 23 Anorak, for Alaska?

25 Set no spending limits?

27 Injury-sorting process 28 Tell a story 30 Drum set?

31 Brit Jones played by Renee Zellweger?

35 “Barbarella” star Jane 37 Suffix similar to -ette 38 Baseball’s Tony La -39 Frat letters 41 Tenth mo.

43 Actress Tomei 46 Decide to order ravioli?

50 Old comics girl 53 Soap format 54 Baseball’s Pee Wee 55 Place for actor Baldwin’s lawn?

57 Party food provider 59 Gonzalez in 2000 headlines 60 Lovers’ god 62 “No” vote 63 That miss 66 Agents, in brief 67 Tyke sitting on a fireplace floor?

72 Tibia locale 73 Fresno-to-L.A. dir.

74 Iniquity 75 “... for -- know” 76 Empathetic comment 77 Suffer humiliation 81 Furnish supplies to Oregon’s capital?

84 Box in a den 87 -- borealis 89 Friendly teasing 90 Jet kept in reserve?

92 Hobbled along 93 -- -Cat 94 Go higher 95 Set -- (decide when to wed) 97 Egg: Prefix 100 Pickling liquid 102 Yeast used to treat ill-

ness?

107 Dad’s sister 108 -- Bessette-Kennedy 111 Dress 112 Activity held between work hours?

114 Apt word spelled out by the letters added to 10 answers in this puzzle 118 “Uncle Miltie” 119 Taken with 120 Faraway 121 -- Jones Average 122 Williams of “Happy Days” 123 Gotten a glimpse of 124 Grog drinker 125 Lennon lover

DOWN

1 Druggist’s crushing tool 2 Houston team 3 Blemishes 4 UCSD part 5 Fluttery tree 6 3 R’s gp.

7 Inferior dog 8 Moose kin 9 Arises 10 GI’s chaplain 11 Call off, as a launch 12 Forearm part 13 Riga native 14 Socrates’ T 15 Bygone 16 Huge vitamin intake, e.g.

17 Hams it up 18 New York team 24 Tiny bit 26 Suit 29 Best competitive effort, informally 32 Big name in water filters 33 Stole cattle 34 “The Lady -- Tramp” 36 Kind of hawk 39 Bog fuel 40 With 56-Down, pretalkies time 42 -- Bo 43 -- a wet hen 44 One-named R&B singer 45 Arena arbiter 47 Oval part 48 Korean car 49 -- Lingus 50 Leering types 51 Chronicles

52 Baloney 53 Bluebonnet 56 See 40-Down 58 Cheering cry 61 -- Na Na 63 Slate source 64 Employing person 65 Hostile party 67 Assembly aid 68 Using uppercase 69 Lanchester of old films 70 Flying stat 71 Abbott & Costello musical 72 Parboil 74 Titan’s planet 76 Atoll unit 77 Comics cry 78 Ordinance 79 “... cup -- cone?”

80 Took the gold 82 Llama cousin 83 Laotian currency unit 84 Conan’s network 85 Eighth U.S. president 86 Disdainful people 88 Good to go 91 Portion 92 Fond du -96 Iraqi currency units 97 City in Spain 98 Lillian -- (gift retailer) 99 Ring combo 101 Author -- Calvino 102 Three-card street scam 103 John of rock 104 Milk: Prefix 105 Bygone anesthetic 106 $$$ dispenser 107 “Chiquitita” quartet 109 Alamo rival 110 Russo of film 113 Boy toy?

115 Brewed quaff 116 Oversharing initialism 117 Co. owned by Verizon

graB Your copy today

SOLUTION FOUND ON P. 30.

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SAVAGE LOVE

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MOTHER LOVE Incest is best left to therapy, not truth-or-dare with the wife

704-731-0113

BY DAN SAVAGE My father left my mother abruptly when I was 14 years old and he hasn’t contacted either of us since. It was a crushing blow for her and she retreated from the world.

She was never bitter about it, but it was devastating. She lost the love of her life for no apparent reason and was left completely alone, except for me. We have both done our best to forget about him.

We were extremely close for the next four years and actually slept in the same bed every night. Eventually, we began doing something that most people would consider evil but neither of us has ever regretted. It was just something that happened. And it wasn’t something that just happened once — it went on for two years and ended only when I left to go to university. I haven’t thought about this for years and it is something my mother and I have never discussed. She has since remarried and seems perfectly fine. But even today, we sometimes send each other friendly messages that are vaguely suggestive. The problem is I mentioned it to my wife recently and she went ballistic.

She called me and my mother sick and moved into another bedroom and refuses to have sex with me. I wish I had never mentioned it, but it was part of a truthor-dare session we were having. This has been the situation for the last three months. I have finally lost my patience and I am thinking of leaving. I have never cheated on my wife or hurt her, either physically or emotionally and I have supported her financially while she studies at university. I have mentioned going to a counselor, but she refuses and claims that she is married to a monster and that no woman would want me. We don’t have any children — so if I were to leave, I wouldn’t be disrupting an innocent’s life. Do you have any advice?

TRUTHFUL REVELATION UNMAKES TWO HAPPY SPOUSES

I’m not a professional counselor, TRUTHS, but I’m gonna climb out on a limb and say that a game of truth-or-dare isn’t the right time to reveal an incestuous sexual relationship with a parent. Dr. Hani Miletski and Dr. Joe Kort, on the other hand, are professionals: Dr. Miletski is a psychotherapist and a sex therapist, and Dr. Kort is a sex and relationship therapist. Both are certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, and both are authors — Dr. Miletski literally wrote the book on the subject of motherson incest: Mother-Son Incest: The Unthinkable 28 | JAN. 25 - JAN. 31, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

Broken Taboo Persists.

A therapist will help him deal with the “There’s no wonder his wife is so upset,” emotional upset of the breakup with his wife, said Dr. Miletski. “Sexual relations between as well as process what happened with his mother and son are considered the most mother.” taboo form of incest.”

Dr. Kort sees some hope — albeit slim — Dr. Miletski told me it isn’t uncommon for your marriage. for a woman who has been abandoned by “To gain empathy and compassion from her husband to turn to an adolescent son for his wife, TRUTHS should be willing to listen emotional comfort. to her concerns, fear and anger,” said Dr. “These women are often very insecure and Kort. “He also needs to invite her to have needy,” said Dr. Miletski. “Unbeknownst to the compassion and empathy for the vulnerable son — and sometimes to the mother — the position he was in — but he cannot do that son begins to feel responsible for his mother’s until he has some compassion for himself. well-being and emotional support. The son Untreated, the abuse he suffered from his becomes ‘parentified’ and is treated by his mother, as well as the loss and grief over his mother as a substitute husband. Occasionally, father, could be troubling to his wife and their this close relationship between a mother and relationship. Perhaps if he ever has children, her son evolves into a sexual relationship, and the reality of the abuse will hit him. Parents the substitute husband becomes her lover as don’t have children to turn them into lovers.”

And, once again, people probably well. The situation described in this shouldn’t reveal incestuous letter sounds exactly like that. relationships to their current And while I’m glad this man partner during a game of truthbelieves he has not been or-dare. affected by this boundary You can find Dr. Miletski’s violation, [the fact that books and learn more about he and his mother are] her work at DrMiletski. sending suggestive com. You can find Dr. Kort’s messages to each other books and learn more about may suggest otherwise.” his work at JoeKort.com Dr. Miletski prefers and on Twitter @drjoekort. not to use terms like “abuse” or “trauma” unless DAN SAVAGE I’m writing you to ask about the person involved uses a friend of mine. He’s a gifted those terms themselves — artist who hasn’t truly dedicated which you didn’t, TRUTHS, but himself to his art. It’s as if he’s I’m going to go ahead and use them.

Here goes: You say you have no regrets, and afraid of success. He’s also a so-called you don’t mention feeling traumatized by the “womanizer,” and every time he meets experience, but the absence of trauma doesn’t an interesting woman who’s into him, confer some sort of retroactive, after-the-fact he inevitably fucks it up. For this reason immunity on your mother. She is responsible and some others (that I won’t mention), for her actions — actions that were abusive I believe he’s a repressed homosexual.

Let’s just assume that he is. Every time and highly likely to leave you traumatized.

“In the mental-health field, we have a we talk, maybe once or twice a year, he growing body of work showing that not recounts his latest fuckups with women everyone who is abused is necessarily (and everything else). During the last traumatized,” said Dr. Kort. “I have seen call, I was very close to asking him if he countless men who have been sexually abused was sure about his sexual orientation. I by their mothers who do not label it as believe that what makes him unable to abuse because they were not traumatized. face this aspect of his life is interfering But his mother seduced him, dismissing the with everything else, too. I would like sexual and emotional needs of a teenage boy. to be able to talk openly about it with There is no other way to describe this other him without hurting him. Do you have than abuse, however consensual he may have any tips?

ARTIST FAILING AT RELATIONSHIPS perceived it to be at the time.”

But that was then, TRUTHS. What do you do about your situation now?

“Unfortunately, I don’t think his wife will Sometimes a cigar isn’t just a cigar — but ever be able to put this revelation behind an unsuccessful heterosexual is almost her,” said Dr. Miletski. “I think his best bet always just that. Unless the details you didn’t is to leave her, move on and seek therapy. share include, say, a massive collection of gay porn or messy closet-case classics like

18+ Vibeline.com drunken lunges at male friends or running for Congress on a “family values” platform, your friend will have to remain in the hetero column for now. That said, if you believe a solid gay ass pounding would jar loose the professional and romantic success that has thus far eluded your friend, go ahead and ask him if he’s a “repressed homosexual.”

It might cost you his friendship, AFAR, but someone who calls only once or twice a year to recount his romantic fuckups doesn’t sound like much of a friend anyway.

No way! On the Lovecast, it’s Sarah Silverman!: savagelovecast.com; follow @fakedansavage on Twitter; mail@savagelove.net; go to ITMFA.org.

NOW HIRING INTERNS. THE BRIGHTER, THE BETTER. EMAIL BACKTALK@CLCLT.COM

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SOLUTION TO THIS WEEK'S PUZZLE

WHERE WE ALL REFUSE TO WEAR SOCKS.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) You might feel bolder as each new success falls into place. But caution is still advised through the end of the week. Until then, a step-by-step approach is best.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) That cooperation you request could come at too high a price.

Since few can beat the Bovine at being clever and resourceful, why not see what you can do on your own?

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Aspects favor a quieter time spent getting closer to the people who are especially important to you. There’s always much more to learn and appreciate about each other.

CANCER (June 21 to

July 22) The concerned Crab will act to resolve workplace misunderstandings before they get out of hand and cause more-serious problems.

Co-workers rally to support your efforts.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) What the Big Cat might see as a disturbing act of disloyalty might just be a failure of communication on both sides. Take time for mediation rather than confrontation.

VIRGO (August 23 to

September 22) Be more patient with those who seem unwilling to accept your version of what’s right. The fact is, there’s a lot more to learn on all sides of this issue.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) It should be easier to assess the facts you’ll need to make an important decision.

But don’t commit if you still have doubts. There could be more you need to know.

SCORPIO (October 23

to November 21) Your excitement level remains high as you continue working on that new project.

Expect some setbacks. But on the whole, all will move pretty much on schedule.

SAGIT TARIUS

(November 22 to December 21) It might be wise to be more prudent with expenses right now.

But your financial situation should soon clear up, and you could be back shopping, happily as ever.

CAPRICORN (December

22 to January 19) You might prefer sticking with your current schedule. But some newly emerging information could persuade you to consider a change. Keep an open mind.

AQUARIUS

(January 20 to February 18) You might want to reject a suggested change. But it could be wise to go with the flow, at least for a while. You can always return to your first plan if you like.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) You’re bolstered by both the practical and poetic sides of your nature as you maneuver through some unsettled emotional situations. Things ease up by week’s end.

BORN THIS WEEK People reach out to your generosity and wisdom, and consider you a treasured and trusted friend.

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