2017_Issue 51 Creative Loafing Charlotte

CLCLT.COM | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 VOL. 30, NO. 51

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30

10

Special Valentine’s Issue, pages 10, 12, and 30

NEWS&CULTURE LOVE STORIES

TWO’S BETTER THAN ONE Everybody needs somebody, even the nacho slobs

BY JOANNE SPATARO

12

BEING MARY JANE IN THE QUEEN CITY Glimpses into the millennnial dating world

BY AERIN SPRUILL 9 EDITOR’S NOTE 14 THE BLOTTER 15 #BLKTECHCLT

16

FOOD IT’S SUPER-VEGAN! Bean is neither a bird nor a plane — it’s a vegan joint with a Southern twist

BY MARK KEMP

20

ARTS&ENT AMERICAN RAG U.S. reset brings new relevance to

Doctorow classic

BY PERRY TANNENBAUM 18 TOP 10 THINGS TO D0 22 FILM REVIEWS BY MATT BRUNSON 23 ARTSPEAK MEGHAN COOMES MAKES JEWELRY OUT OF LOVE

BY JASMIN HERRERA

24

MUSIC REPRESENTING THE CLASS OF ’17 Ahmir the King debut looks to lead group of hungry, young CLT rappers

BY RYAN PITKIN 26 MUSICMAKER ASHBY BLAKELY AND NICIA CARLA SPEAK FOR THEIR ALTER EGOS IN THE TAMPONES

BY PAT MORAN 28 SOUNDBOARD

30

ODDS&ENDS 30 VALENTINE’S DAY EIGHT V-DAY SPECIALS 34 MARKETPLACE 35 CROSSWORD 36 SAVAGE LOVE 38 HOROSCOPE BY VIVIAN CAROL

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‘

YOU’LL NEVER BE LONELY ‘ THIS VALENTINE’S

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VIEWS

EDITOR’S NOTE

VALENTINE’S DAY: RIP 2017 Put it out of our misery already billion, more than any of the others.

ISN’T IT ABOUT time we kill off this The things is, you can be loving and Valentine’s Day charade? respectful to your bae on any of the other Seriously. Aside from Christmas – the 364 days. other holiday that’s ostensibly about one Which leads us to this – CL’s annual thing (the birth of Baby Jesus), but really manipulative Valentine’s Day issue, in about another (gigantic corporations selling which we offer some alternatives to all the us stuff we don’t need) – Valentine’s is Sturm und Drang. On page 30, we give you the most manipulative holiday in the U.S., permission to forego spending your money currently practiced every friggin’ Feb. 14 on roses and gold pendants and putting it to just when we’ve begun to recover financially better use – like heading over to the Visulite from Dec. 25. to check out the striptease artists at Big You may be thinking: Oh, this editor Mamma’s House of Burlesque, or donning dude is probably just bitter because he doesn’t have anybody to spend Valentine’s your leather and lace for the final Purgatory Day with. OK, fair point, but that doesn’t shindig at Amos’ Southend, or stripping make me wrong. Valentine’s Day isn’t just down to your briefs at Cupid’s Undie Run bad for our pocketbooks and self-esteem, it’s and then getting schnockered at the Cuddle bad for the planet.

You So Hard Valentine’s Bar Crawl. Yeah, Here’s the raw data: you’ll be buying into the marketing, According to a 2009 report but you won’t be playing into in Scientific American, the cliche. “sending the roughly 100 Better yet: Sit your ass million roses of a typical down at home, kick off your Valentine’s Day produces shoes, and read the terrific some 9,000 metric tons cover stories in this issue of carbon dioxide,” a by nightlife columnist key heat-trapping gas Aerin Spruill and longtime in causing what’s known CL funnywoman Joanne as the greenhouse effect Spataro. In “Being Mary responsible for global Jane in the Queen City,” MARK KEMP climate change. (That 100 on page 12, Aerin gives the million number, by the way, popular BET show a local spin has more than doubled since for all y’all Charlotteans who’d like 2009, according to flower retailers.) to get a glimpse into the dating patterns Sales of gold jewelry on Valentine’s Day of our lovely and talented millennials. On in the U.S. results in more than 34 million page 10, Joanne reports on the challenges metric tons of waste, according to estimates of being paired up in our ever-expanding,

by Oxfam America and Earthworks. Those increasingly diverse and sometimes even estimates are based on sales of gold during progressive Southern city. the first two weeks of February. (Gold Speaking of lovely and talented mining, incidentally, is not only one of the millennials, tech journalist and CL columnist dirtiest industries in the world, but it has a Sherrell Dorsey gets the microphone turned terrible track record of exploiting workers.) around on her in the first installment of a Those figures alone should be enough to new series on #BlackTechCLT (page 15), in raise eyebrows about shelling out your hardwhich news editor Ryan Pitkin interviews earned cash on Valentine’s for roses that are Dorsey about a new series of events she’s going to die and gold you don’t need. But add launched to make the world of startups and to that the spike in depression among young investing and coding more accessible to us people and adults alike, and the financial regular folks. Her first event, at Google Fiber burden this “holiday” causes for folks who Charlotte in December, was a smashing can’t afford to spend extravagantly just to success and she’s got even bigger ambitions remain in good graces with their boobae, and for the next one.

Valentine’s becomes downright ugly. About So, shall we kill off Valentine’s Day for the only ones benefiting from it are the good this year? Probabaly won’t happen. folks who push it on us so relentlessly – you Next year, we’ll be right here again, talking know, those cheesy greeting card companies about stuff you can do to spend your money that study which schmaltzy words tug at more wisely, have fun (with or without a the heart the most, the flower industry that significant other), and be less of a cliche. jacks up prices on roses during February, and the jewelry industry that rakes in some $4.4

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NEWS

CULTURE

TWO’S BETTER THAN ONE Everybody needs somebody, even the nacho slobs

BY JOANNE SPATARO

I

WAS SITTING inside a tacos and tapas place on East Boulevard recently with my best friend and Pretend Husband Fitz Bailey and his boyfriend Jesse Hamilton.

My girlfriend, Lara Americo, was supposed to be there with us. We had planned this Saturday double date a week ago. Between downing pomegranate mimosas and the gnashing of tortilla chips, I gestured at the empty chair next to Jesse, roiling as if I was an actual current of boiling water. A hard boil.

“She has a good heart,” I said between swigs, my eyes willing to fill the seat with her presence. “I know she’s not being a dirtbag so WHY IS SHE DOING THIS.” When I was single, I never worried about my partner showing up to anything. That’s because I rarely had a partner at all. As a floating lothario in a sea of one or two date moments, I’d do dinner, then go home.

As soon as I was behind my front door again, I’d throw on my pizza onesie with more enthusiasm than I had putting on a safe first date outfit. Then I’d fall asleep on my couch, often waking up at 3 a.m. in a pile of crushed chips.

It would seem being single meant you could do whatever you want, while being coupled up meant you had obligations. But alas, that’s not the case.

While I fumed about Lara not being at lunch, I still knew in my heart it’s way more freeing to be a twosome than a onesome.

And Fitz reminded me about one of the best parts as we finished eating our you-pick-two tacos: your increased mutual capacity to be slobs together.

When you do it alone in your own home, it’s possible it didn’t happen at all if there were no witnesses. There is also no basement.

At least with another person, you have evidence that it happened — and can make that experience a memory.

“Jesse’s my best friend, and so having him around all the time is just awesome,” said Fitz. “So, I could spend all day watching Netflix single and be like, ‘I’m wasting my life’ and I could do the exact same thing with him and I’m like, this is a great day. This is fun. Doing even dumb stuff with people you care about puts you in a different frame of mind than if you were by yourself.”

As long as the slob habits weren’t at cross purposes, it seemed to work out fine, as Jesse and Fitz have made a tentative peace in the ongoing Water Cup Table Issue that

has divided their bedroom: Jesse, a selfprofessed “water cup person,” accumulates cups and doesn’t bring them downstairs.

He’ll have a glass of water in the middle of the night and drink half.

Fitz wakes up, drinks the other half, either refills it in the bathroom and leaves it there or brings it downstairs, and then they clean up the cup pile later.

Sometimes, however, Jesse leaves out the party cup by accident.

“And then I’m drinking roomtemperature, day-old vodka,” said Fitz.

“With a squirt of lime for flavor,” replied Jesse, always one to make a stale situation better.

BUOYED BY a cheerful “On my way!” text

from Lara, I remembered the first time she

to attract the person you want versus staying in shape to please the person you’re with, and you don’t want to become a slob. It’s encouraging to have someone who’s just as health conscious but also isn’t a tyrant about being healthy.”

The conversation took a turn when I said the word “cool,” which Jesse told me was a trigger word when Fitz said it. “It’s not even ‘cool,’ it’s cool, like a scoff is worked into that word somehow,” said Jesse, which made me think of a trigger I had with Lara. Even though it’s not a word, it’s an action: She’s always gotta go be Wonder Woman.

The whole reason Lara wasn’t at this lunch was that she had to don her golden lasso and tiara. About an hour earlier, we were at an LGBTQ rights event, and she wanted to bring an activist to lunch. I didn’t

“Jesse’s my best friend, and so having him around all the time is just awesome.

So, I could spend all day watching Netflix single and be like, ‘I’m wasting my life’ and I could do the exact same thing with him and I’m like, ‘This is a great day.

This is fun.’”

FITZ BAILEY, ON COUPLEHOOD

and I were sloths together. On our fourth date, she researched my not-so-secret love of nachos. She brought over a can of refried black beans, shredded Mexican cheese and a bag of chips.

We haphazardly put them together, heated them in the oven and watched my favorite Sex and the City episode: When Harry proposes to Charlotte at the temple mixer.

And being a slob doesn’t mean you have to stop taking care of yourself. Lara and I went jogging together, shared a pair of earphones as we dashed down the sidewalk.

Working out takes on a new meaning when you’re in a couple: You’re not trying to attract, but to maintain what you have.

“The reason behind working out changes,” said Jesse. “You transfer from working out to having the best body possible

know this person. I had no idea Lara even knew them.

A double date is not an open invitation.

While there were speakers talking about equal rights, I furiously typed into her phone’s memo pad as she watched in horror.

I wanted to feel free to be the monster I am in front of my best friends — not to be polite to a new person — was the gist of my message.

I’m no actual monster; Lara and I were named 2015’s Charlotte Pride Power Couple in this very publication and we spent the better part of last summer canvassing and traveling to repeal HB2. I’ve had many a power lunch with an LGBTQ activist or 15 that I met day-of and had a delightful time.

I’m also an introvert who has limited people-seeing batteries, and that Saturday, they were absolutely shot. After the event,

she insisted on going out to lunch with this person. And instead of going along like I usually do, I said no. She gave me the car and money for parking and I said the words, “Have fun.” Have fun in couple terms, as we all know, means quite the opposite.

It was only after I left that she realized how much she had hurt my feelings. Even though I was driving angry to Babalu, I didn’t want her to think I was storming off. So I still texted her while stuck in traffic from the circus coming to town, yet another irony of my weekend trying to write an article about being single versus coupled. I said, “Call or text me when you need to be picked up.” I was like Kenneth Parcell on 30 Rock: I didn’t have the ability to be nasty even when I was mad. I wanted Lara to know I would always be there for her.

Being in a couple is like the hot queso I would eat that afternoon: It is spicy, it sometimes makes me gassy and it is my source of unconditional love.

After three pomegranate mimosas, Lara finally appeared in the once-empty chair.

And there was her dark curly hair, almondshaped eyes and whimsical smile and laugh that first drew me in on our first date on May 2, 2015, also a Saturday. Jesse and Fitz asked us about that night, and Lara’s fanciful first memory confirmed why I can’t stay mad at her for trying to be a saint to the community.

“As soon as she came into Common Market to meet me with her little flower dress on, I was like whoa, this girl’s nice,” said Lara. “We go outside, and she just starts snort laughing, and I’m like, OK, well, I’m done. You win. It’s been five minutes.”

“Yep, that was it,” I said, and she gave me a sip of her pomegranate mimosa. It was clear Lara taught me to care about people in a way I normally wouldn’t have. Do I always want to have lunch with these new people?

No. I really don’t. But I love the adventures and activism I’ve experienced. And Lara makes me a human woman.

“There are definitely some freedoms you lose not being single, and I’m not the kind of person who thinks you need a significant other to validate your life,” said Fitz, “but it’s pretty awesome to have someone to wake up to every day.”

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IS YOUR LOVE LIFE ONE BIG TV DRAMA? Glimpses into the millennnial dating world

BY AERIN SPRUILL

L

ET’S

BE

HONEST,

the dating scene and the meaning of love is different since our parents and grandparents were young whippersnappers.

Facebook and dating apps weren’t around, computers may not have even existed (certainly not cellphones), marrying young and having children was normal, sex before marriage may have been taboo (depending on whether or not you were a hippie), and the list goes on. The game has changed and it’s arguable whether that change has been for the better or worse.

On the one hand, women feel more comfortable exercising their agency. On the other, there’s a general consensus that true commitment has been thrown out the window. In the lead-up to this Valentine’s Day, I reached out to some friends to get a sense of the dating problems faced by my fellow Charlotte (mostly) millennials, who in some cases are ... well, rightfully pissed off.

“She told me today she wants to ‘make sure I’m the one.’ What the fucking fuck?! It’s been four and half years. She doesn’t know what it means to sacrifice everything and sacrifice daily for the person you love. She doesn’t know how to show love without being in love. She doesn’t know how to fall back in love. All she cares about is her fucking self. And you know what’s really annoying? After all this time, I have nothing but memories, just memories. I will get no credit for helping, for shaping or for loving. Instead, some other bitch will reap all the hard work I’ve put in and get ALL the credit. Ain’t that some bullshit?”

– Text received at 2 a.m.

“What’s missing? Commitment *insert crying laughing cat emoji*.”

– CN, 32 “I love hard. Period. I love deeply. Period. I know what I want, and I don’t play games, which has made being a single, twenty-something, young professional in a new city very difficult.

I haven’t been in a real relationship in YEARS. But that’s not the problem. The real problem is, I have not wanted to be in a relationship with any of the guys I have dated over the past few years, except for one. They all show me very early on that they just cannot keep up. As Bey would say, ‘I’m just too much for them!’

“At this point, my dating life is limited to those guys I meet on dating apps that are cute 12 | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | CLCLT.COM

VIEWS

NIGHTLIFE

enough to swipe right on and smart enough to hold a text conversation long enough for me to accept an actual date. I don’t think I am being picky, but I am sure some would say otherwise.

Bottom line, my love life has been non-existent, and until a non-fuckboy enters the picture I am okay with that.”

– NL, 27

RECENTLY, I RE-WATCHED three seasons of a show my mom and I had become obsessed with back in 2013. Being Mary Jane — created by Mara Brock Akil, whose name you may remember if you watched The Jamie Foxx Show, Moesha or Girlfriends ­— is a BET series based on the life and love of Mary Jane Paul (MJP), a thirty-something, successful news anchor living in Atlanta.

For those of you who haven’t watched the show yet – SPOILER ALERT! From the outset, viewers understand that while MJP seems to have a grasp on her professional life, her personal life isn’t where she wants it to be.

Many have identified with her experiences as she struggles to find The One, while also balancing a cut-throat career and family drama.

Season One kicks off with a bang when MJP is lying next to a very attractive

gentleman and asking God to give her a sign as to whether or not he’s The One. He suddenly wakes up and proceeds to vomit all over her.

As if that isn’t already a nightmare red flag, soon after helping him to the bathroom, she discovers a wedding band while picking up his clothes! And that’s just the beginning of the drama that ensues in her personal life.

Over the course of the next two seasons, we find out her best friend performed fellatio on the love of her life — whose sperm she stole and froze after a one-night stand — after which she gets in a car wreck, she finds out she can’t get pregnant after undergoing fertility treatment on national television, her best friend commits suicide, she’s forced to take care of family debts and health care bills, and she shares seemingly promising moments with a few men who don’t end up satisfying her “standards” of love. In the end, MJP always seems to get the short end of the stick.

I have a few friends who can relate...

“He’s like, ‘Hey.’ “I’m like, ‘Hey.’ “He’s like, ‘How are you?’

“I’m like, ‘Look I’ve had a crush on you for a while. Let’s go on a date.’

“And he’s like, ‘Great, how about tomorrow?’

Babe, we go see Moonlight.

“LIKE, WHAT DUDE IS LIKE, ‘LET’S SEE MOONLIGHT’!? And he had already seen it.

Man after my own damn heart.

“Then we go to the wine bar by my house and hang out and talk and next thing I know, BAM, we are tonguing each other down. Like, cannot keep our hands off each other. We go back to my place and continue but don’t have sex. He says he wants to see me again. SHIT IS PERFECT! “It’s the holidays, so he’s out of town for like a while. So I don’t see him but we are texting, cool. So he’s back and I’m like, ‘When can we get together?’ And then he tries to come over and chill a few times but my homegirl was staying with me so he like couldn’t really. But also our texting is very sexual. Which I think nothing of because as you know I’m a sexual person. And I say, “Hey, yeah I’m like tryna (insert action word for have sex) with you but I also like you, I don’t just want sex. Anyway, my homegirl is finally gone and I’m like, ‘Hey, let’s kick it.’ And he’s out of town again, so I’m like, ‘Cool, when you get back.’

“And he hits me with: He doesn’t just want a sexual relationship and thinks we should just be friends...”

– HC, 26

I SYMPATHIZED, no empathized, with

will the landscape of love change?

VIEWS

NIGHTLIFE

Mary Jane, because I, too, was familiar with getting the short end of the stick. A few years ago, I was in an on-again off-again relationship. Even though the majority of our relationship overlapped with the turbulent years of undergraduate life, I thought I was doing everything right. True, I got drunk and purged way too often, damaged property and even fell into depression, but I was a great girlfriend.

Six or so years later, I found out via social media that person was in a new relationship. And after ignoring all the signs that we should part ways anyways, my version of happily-ever-after was shattered.

In the words of the anonymous friend who texted me at 2 a.m., “Ain’t that a b*tch?”

Nevertheless, I learned from the experience, I’ve moved on and all that jazz.

Still, discontent with the dating scene followed me to the Queen City. I thought my inability to connect with someone was simply a “I’m a single woman, hear me roar, I’m going to eat all of you and keep it moving” attitude, until I started writing about nightlife and discovered that many singles in the city were singing the same tune: dating in Charlotte sucks. My friends, my coworkers and strangers have expressed frustration with dating in the city. They’ve tried all the dating apps, gone on all the dates and yet still feel unfulfilled.

issues and black love to the forefront, at its core the show reveals the complexities of dating, relationships and finding true love.

Mary Jane could be any one of us — black, brown, white, gay, straight, transgender. The name Mary Jane Paul, in and of itself, is basic. At its mention, unless you’ve watched the show, you have no idea what MJP looks like or what she’s been through.

Since college, I’ve been surrounded by perfect examples of Mary Jane Paul: great people who can’t seem to find the love they’ve been searching for. In a world where therapy, break-ups, anxiety prescriptions, suicide and love deferred are commonplace, I challenged my friends, co-workers and family to tell me, in their own words, what life is like being a real Mary Jane.

“For me personally, ’cause Mary Jane is not me...she is [a] hoe. It’s hard dating as you get older. Slim pickings, baggage, no job, records, bad credit...Not to mention you’ve become set in your ways, not wanting to give. In a

“I feel that everyone is missing from the dating scene. Men and WOMEN. We’re all missing the point. I’m not going to bash one gender when, as a woman, I do the similar wrong things. Have you ‘ghosted’ someone?

Never returned a text or call? High expectations when you don’t have it ALL together? I’m guilty of it. We all want instant gratification.

Technology, society and culture.”

– PL, 27 This isn’t just a conversation for the ladies, either; men are grappling with the challenges of dating and relationships as well, especially with regards to the role that technology plays: “As a single ‘real’ man (who hasn’t watched BMJ since I was in a relationship), I’d have to agree with PL that both genders are at fault. The main factor that I see (from my experience and others) is that people can’t put down their smart phones long enough to build a real connection. We’re too distracted with social media and dating apps to build real person to person chemistry.

The fact that you can ‘meet’ people so easily in the virtual realm makes it difficult when you actually see them in person; there’s awkward silences or people aren’t who they portray themselves to be online. And the fact that there are all kinds of dudes in your DMs and guys can go on Tender or POF (not me, btw, lol) and find options so easily, we take each other for granted and are quick to look elsewhere very quickly.”

– WJ, 33

“I JUST WANT TO MEET A GUY WHO IS NOT RACIST OR SEXIST AND WANTS TO COOK TOGETHER AND

HANG OUT”

“I have gone on many Tinder/Bumble dates. I have gone on some that were fantastic, but we decided that we are better friends than dates. With this in mind, I have found that this is a great way to make friends. I have also had boyfriends come out of Tinder or Bumble, including my last two exes. This means to me that there are gems and great guys out there, and my relationships with these guys have lasted more than six months. I consider this to be a long time in today’s dating world. “[But] just like I have had great dates and made great friends, there have been some serious disasters. The Netflix-and-Chill mentality is out there and there’s also the mentality where guys have expectations just because they bought you dinner or bought you a drink during your date.”

– SN, 26 (Shout-out to her most recent dating disaster, who compared paying for her dinner to the sex he was going to buy on his next trip, then threw her card at her when she tried to pay. Oh, and still asked for a kiss when she tried to leave.)

THE MORE DISCUSSIONS I’ve had with

people who feel like their dating lives are a series of Punk’d episodes, the more I realize that we’re all Mary Jane. While Being Mary Jane has brought and continues to bring critical conversations surrounding race, the glass ceiling, the cyclical nature of family

relationship, it’s about balance, give and take.

Every argument isn’t worth a response, which is hard for me because I have to have the last say. *insert smiley face emoji* But I’m working on it.

“A lot of people are coming with game, not being genuine. But you need to have good morals and values. If not, you will settle for any and everything. Love yourself.”

A few seconds later, I receive a second text: “I guess in a way...I am similar to Mary Jane...without the slut part. Still looking or maybe hoping for marriage at 40 years old.”

– SL, 46

FROM THE OUTSET of my newest

relationship it’s been my goal to maintain transparency and open lines of communication. I don’t shy away from sharing my goals for “our” future or keeping it real when something ain’t right.

I hate to say it, but social media and phone use are always going to be interesting topics of conversation for those dating. Are you on your phone more than you’re engaged in conversation with your significant other?

Are you opting for nonstop convo on Tinder instead of face-to-face interaction?

As technology continues to advance, how

“I just want to meet a guy who is not racist or sexist and wants to cook together and hang out and do cool shit and smoke a few blunts.

I’m not looking to trap anyone. I just want to go with the flow and have a good time. And if it turns into a long-term committed thing, cool.

But that hasn’t happened for me. I’ve never had a smooth normal relationship without its shit.

And I’m like damn, do they even exist?”

– HC, 26

BEING MARY JANE isn’t the first and certainly, won’t be the last television series or platform for discussing matters of love unfulfilled. There are more and more examples of the diversity of love, learning to love oneself and other series of unfortunate love events on television and in our lives.

What are your thoughts on being a Mary Jane in the Queen City?

Share it with me at backtalk@clclt.com. *Names in this article have been left anonymous to protect the identities of those mentioned.

CLCLT.COM | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | 13

NEWS

BLOTTER

BY RYAN PITKIN

IRONY A 41-year-old woman called police

to her home in east Charlotte last week after it seemed like a ghost had been through her home. She told officers that some unknown suspect had apparently broken into her home, because the entire place was ransacked. The only item listed on the report as stolen, however, was a bracelet with the word “Ghost” written on it. Haven’t you ever been ransacking a home and saw that one item that speaks to your soul?

LET ME BURN Police got involved in an

altercation at Berryhill Elementary School last week after a young man decided he couldn’t be bothered to leave school during a fire drill. According to staff, the school started the day with a fire drill, during which time a student left the class and walked off. He remained unaccounted for until a staff member walked into the bathroom while making sure the building was clear and found the boy “lounging” there. The student reportedly “gave an unsatisfactory answer” when asked what he was doing, then became verbally and physically hostile when staff tried to remove him.

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IT’S A KEEPER Police responded to a domestic disturbance in University City after a boy refused to go to school one morning. So, was the boy being bullied on the playground? Was there a test that day that he hadn’t studied for? Not quite.

According to the report, the boy refused to go to school because his friend had let him borrow a cellphone and he didn’t want to give it back. He refused to even tell the police or his mother who the phone belonged to, so they couldn’t give it back to the kid, either.

The woman told police that she just wanted a police report acknowledging that her son refused to go into school so she wouldn’t get in trouble.

LOST VALENTINE An 18-year-old woman

filed a police report last week after her car was broken into in front of her University area home. Among the items listed as stolen, the woman wrote “he stole my gun, wipes, and my phone case with a picture of me and my boyfriend.” We don’t know what you mean by wipes, but it certainly seems odd anyone would want a phone case with a picture of two complete strangers on it.

BIRTHERISM In other “But why?” news, a 61-year-old man became convinced that a local cleaning staff was out to get him and possibly steal his identity when some important papers came up missing last week. The man, hailing from Columbus, Ohio, told police that while he was out of the hotel room where he was staying on Independence Boulevard, the cleaning staff cleaned his room “without his prior

knowledge” and apparently made off with his birth certificate, because it was nowhere to be found.

TEST DRIVE A 23-year-old man filed a police report after regretting that he got too comfortable with a potential buyer for his dirt bike last week. The man told police that he met with a man who had contacted him about possibly buying his dirt bike for $2,000. The meeting didn’t last long, as when the potential buyer showed up he immediately asked if he could sit atop the dirt bike and start it up. The seller gave his permission, and before he knew it, he was watching his dirt bike ride down the rode, never to be seen again.

CLEANED OUT Police responded to a home in south Charlotte after a woman reported that more than $160,000 worth of jewelry had been stolen from her by a known suspect. The woman told officers that someone living in the home had slowly stolen and sold all the jewelry between October 2016 and January of this year. The woman, whose last name matches that of a Hornets assistant coach who played for the 1968 Philadelphia 76ers, also reported the championship ring from that year with said name etched into it as among the items that had been sold off. Making it all the more tough is the fact that it doesn’t look like the 76ers are going to get another one of those for quite some time.

SANDWICH DEFENSE ARTIST Police responded to a Subway on Kings Drive last week after a customer there completely lost their shit when they realized they weren’t getting a free sandwich. An employee told officers the customer attempted to use a coupon for a free sandwich, but was told the coupon was not valid. This sent the customer into a fit, during which they threw straws, chips and napkins at the employee, who was not harmed in the incident.

NEW RECIPE Police responded to a home in southwest Charlotte after a suspect used a concoction of ingredients to ruin a man’s entire wardrobe during an argument.

According to the 31-year-old victim, the suspect showed up at his house sometime between 1 and 4 a.m. and was upset with him. The suspect went into the victim’s kitchen and collected a bottle of bleach and a bottle of vegetable oil and then went into his room, pouring it all over the clothes in his closet. All in all, the suspect ended up damaging $2,500 worth of clothes.

NEWS

#BLKTECHCLT

THE TECH CONNECTION

With the name being #BLKTECHCLT, is the space going to be exclusively black?

We don’t discriminate. It’s #BLKTECHCLT primarily because I think you kind of have to let people know that they’re included, so I didn’t want a tech event where black folks felt like they couldn’t attend, where they felt like they were going to be the only one, because I’ve definitely showed up at events where I was the only one. So it’s extremely inclusive …

So don’t let the name put you off. Everyone’s invited and we just want a dynamic and inclusive experience.

Sherrell Dorsey gets proactive in making CLT’s tech industry more inclusive

BY RYAN PITKIN

IN 2016, WHEN Sherrell Dorsey launched

The Plug, a Charlotte-based site that focused on aggregating news about people of color in the tech industry around the country, she didn’t know it would grow in popularity as quick as it did.

It blew up fast, however, and Dorsey spent much of the year traveling internationally, coming into contact with big players in the tech world. As she did, she became more concerned with what was lacking in her new hometown. The events she saw happening in cities that cultivated the tech culture — especially ones that made an effort to be inclusive — weren’t happening in Charlotte.

Instead of ask around as to why that was, Dorsey — whom you might recognize from her monthly CL column, Thank Me Later — took matters into her own hands. In December, she hosted the first #BLKTECHCLT, a quarterly, inclusive networking experience aimed at cultivating tech culture in the Queen City.

We recently sat down with Dorsey in her home to discuss the beginnings of #BLKTECHCLT and what she hopes will come of the event in 2017.

Creative Loafing: What made you decide to start the #BLKTECHCLT series?

Sherrell Dorsey: Living in Charlotte and traveling a lot between the Bay and Seattle and New York and even Paris — all of these great tech capitals that are just continuously turning out incredible talent — these folks have great things in their ecosystems specifically related to just having great content and great events to continue to foster and grow the local ecosystem. And I didn’t see that in Charlotte on a large scale, particularly as it related to having inclusive environments.

I know that there’s great pitch events and what have you that go on, but when I went to those events I didn’t feel extremely included, and I don’t know if it was by design or just… it was a very different kind of a vibe.

And I wanted to create something that was going to be cool, and it was also going to be interactive, and not just a paint-bynumbers entrepreneur networking event with everyone just walking around talking

drink, have your appetizer, move into one of the conversations that are taking place, move into the podcast studio and share your thoughts about the future of tech in Charlotte, move over to some of our great partners’ rooms who are doing crash courses in coding or financial literacy for small businesses. So it’s really, again, an experience that you get to come to and learn and share and to help us grow.

about their startups.

What makes the experience unique to Charlotte?

I am extremely excited about what’s taking place in the Southeast. Charlotte, in particular, has this underbelly of incredible — everyone from these private equity investors that showed up at the last event that no one has heard of, some incredible startup folks, and people who are just excited and enthusiastic about the future of Charlotte.

And so, for me, what I think differentiates the #BLKTECHCLT series from anything else is that we’re not trying to be like the New Yorks, we’re not trying to be like the Seattles — we definitely get energy from those kinds of places, but this is completely unique to Charlotte. We’re using Charlotte talent, we’re using local folks to help design the event, from the event planners to the interns to the DJs — all of the people that kind of make up our local ecosystem.

And I think what’s most important, too, is that, like, I’m not a big panel discussion kind of person. My ADHD kicks in and I’m just like, I don’t want to hear from five people, I want to hear from one person, I want to have that intimate conversation.

And so, for instance, for our March 9th event, we have what I like to call the “Five Conversations.” Essentially, that’s an adaptation of Michael Watkins’ book The First 90 Days — it’s really about going from 0 to 60 pretty quickly on a new job when you’re in a leadership role.

So the “Five Conversations” we’re adapting will be five different conversations with five incredible entrepreneurs or startup founders or just people who are experts at building teams. And we’re going to have these amazing mini-sessions of discussion points that people can pop into. And the entire event, in and of itself, is meant to be rotating and interactive so you aren’t just kind of sitting in a room and talking awkwardly to someone.

You have your opportunity to have your

How about folks who aren’t all that familiar with the tech world?

Absolutely. There’s something there for everyone. A lot of people get intimidated because they think it’s going to be a bunch of nerds. But it’s far from that. I mean, it’s really swaggy. And on top of that, I am not a developer or an engineer; I know a little bit of code but my experience and background is media, marketing, event curation, writing, so there’s something there for everyone.

The idea is that you’re coming to learn and to know and to see what is happening in Charlotte, what is next. I think if we arm ourselves and put ourselves in environments that are a little bit outside of our expertise, it helps us to understand: What does the future look like? What should I be learning about?

And the great thing, too, is that you get access to hands-on learning and demonstrations, so it’s just fun at the end of the day. And you get to build new connections and find out who’s doing what in your city.

What went down at the December event and what changes will be made for the March event?

The December event just took me and my team by surprise. I wholly expected like 40 people to show up and for us to be just kind of awkwardly standing around. But that was not the case. We hosted the event at Google Fiber in the remodeled Dixie’s Tavern — just this super-amazing loft-style brick building, 1920s situation. It was fun, it was unique, it was funky. You could hear the music from across First Ward Park. So it just had a really incredible vibe. We sold out, we had people on the waiting list. It was just absolutely insane.

And just from an organic perspective. I mean, we had an incredible crowd of folks from all kinds of backgrounds — there were students there looking for internships and jobs, who were graduating from either [computer science] programs or even journalism programs; we had private equity investors who showed up; we had folks who were in technology or who were developers; we had entrepreneurs; we had startups, so there was something there for everyone and everyone had this incredibly unique story.

And so what was really cool about that particular event as well is that we had this

standing easel where people could write what are their ideas for the future of tech in Charlotte. And there were some incredible thoughts, everything from creating an incubator for students to mentorship programs to help folks who are transitioning and trying to get into tech. There was just a great deal of insight and input that folks had.

It was an incredible event that far exceeded our expectations. So we leave room for people to kind of take it and make it their own, in a sense, and to let us know how can we make improvements. … So in terms of the feedback from folks [at that event], they did want to see more programming…

So [while I] try to shy away from panel discussions, and I didn’t have a panel discussion [at that event], I wanted people to talk and I wanted people to get to know each other, and so that’s why we brought on the Five Conversations [for the next event] – the independent conversations that people can pop into.

Our space is very different — it gives us more opportunity to host things in different areas… and I think people are really going to enjoy that. And once that event concludes, we’ll be taking feedback again. We do followup emails. My team and I are really big on engagement and marketing … and we sit down and we ask the honest questions…

What did you like about it. What did you not like? What do you want to see? What was your experience like? So that we are really in tune with who’s coming through our doors.

To wrap up, what would you say I your long-term goal for #BLKTECHCLT? I want the #BLKTECHCLT series to be a longstanding staple of Charlotte, particularly as it relates to an inclusive, entrepreneurial ecosystem. I want people to have a good time, of course, I want them to know who’s doing what in this city and even bring in some outside folks to help us think about how we’re shaping the future of tech in Charlotte. Even if it means that I’m not running it myself – that someone says, ‘Hey, I’m willing to pick it up and take it and run with it.’

I’m hoping that it also pushes a call to investors to our city about truly committing the resources needed to grow great, strong businesses — to support entrepreneurs, and particularly entrepreneurs of color.

We look at some of the challenges in our city, I think a lot of it just has to do with inviting people to the table. I think that Charlotte has great opportunities, but in all honesty we have to step our game up if we’re going to compete.

So I’m hoping that this #BLKTECHCLT series is just the launching pad for further discussion, but more so, further action.

Let’s get these entrepreneurs funded; let’s make sure that investors know who these folks are. Even if you’re a first-time investor, you can provide seed capital to an entrepreneur who’s trying to get an idea off the ground. I want to make people feel comfortable about having these conversations, feeling bold enough to create incredible things.

But most importantly, the leadership part of it. People feeling equipped to build strong teams and to build strong companies.

Visit www.clclt.com to watch the full interview, and stay tuned to CL for more interviews with #BLKTECHCLT leaders and participants.

CLCLT.COM | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | 15

FOOD

‘ALL SUPERHEROES ARE VEGAN’

FEATURE

IT’S SUPER-VEGAN! Bean is neither a bird nor a plane — it’s a vegan joint with a Southern twist

BY MARK KEMP

C

HARLIE FOESCH ALWAYS

knew he was a good cook. He’d prepare vegan meals for himself, his partner Roy Parkhurst and small gatherings of their friends, who would shower Foesch with praise for his culinary skills. But he never gave much thought to cooking for hundreds of people a day.

“It’s such a cliché, but it started out with that whole, ‘Your food is so good — you should open a restaurant,’” says Foesch (pronounced foe-sh). “And Roy really held on to that idea and was a driving force behind this.”

This is Bean Vegan Cuisine, cattycornered from Bojangle’s Coliseum just west of Briar Creek Road on the eastbound side of Independence Boulevard. Foesch and Parkhurst opened the restaurant with their friend Kandice Hexter five years ago in an old, abandoned diner just down from the South 21 Drive-In. Today, a life-size cardboard Captain America greets you when you walk in the door, and superhero action figures line the shelves behind the bar.

On a recent Thursday afternoon, Foesch sits at one of the window booths inside the restaurant surrounded by mustard yellow walls and maroon curtains. Wearing a black T-shirt emblazoned with X-Men characters, and a Captain America baseball cap, he’s reflecting on Bean’s growth since 2012. In April of 2015, he and his partners opened a second Bean in Asheville; they also converted a room at the back of the Charlotte restaurant into the Queen City’s first allvegan market stocked with groceries ranging from Earth Balance snacks and homemade vegan desserts to Tofurkey, Vegenaise, Daiya Cheese, Magic Vegan Bacon Grease and all kinds of soy and seitan combinations.

“I knew how to cook vegan food and I knew I was good, but Roy was really instrumental in getting the wheels off the ground,” Foesch says. “And bringing Kandice on board just helped immensely. She brings a skill set – management – that’s invaluable.

But we all do everything. Everything that goes on in this restaurant, we do together.”

After polishing off a delicious fried tofu finger sandwich and steamed kale, I asked Foesch to sit down and chat with me about how his team managed to make vegan meals so accessible to lovers of regular old Southern comfort food.

BEAN VEGAN CUISINE 3001 East Independence Blvd. 980939-1234. eatbean.com.

Monday-Friday, 11:30 a.m.-9 p.m.; Saturday 10 a.m.–9 p.m.; Sunday 10 a.m.–8 p.m.

Creative Loafing: True story — I brought my niece and nephew and their kids over here recently when we were renovating my home, and my nephew, a meateater who’d never thought much about veganism until he came to Bean a few years ago for my wedding dinner, told me he now eats here as often as he can because he thinks your burgers are the best in town. Now he even tells his meateating friends — he’s in construction — “You have to go to Bean. They have the best burgers.” How do you react to that?

We hear it all the time! So often a family will come in and they’ll have the one vegan in the family with them, and they’ll tell us, “We’re coming here because our family member is a vegan, so we’re all making the sacrifice to come with them and eat this food.” And by the end of the night they’re lovig it. We’ll see them come back in a week later and that vegan family member won’t be with them.

They’ll say, “I couldn’t stop thinking about the jalapeno cheddar burger and I just had to come get another one.” So, having food that’s not just good, but memorable, and then it’s vegan, too — that’s just really cool.

You had a clear idea of what you wanted to do when I talked to you right after you opened: make vegan food for folks who like Southern greasy spoons. I thought you meant food for Southern vegans who’d given up their burgers and barbecue. But you were being more subversive than that, weren’t you? [laughs] It was very intentional. We were intentional about the food being vegan but also flavorful, like traditional Southern food.

All three of the owners — Kandice, Roy and myself — were vegan before we started SEE

16 | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | CLCLT.COM

VEGAN P. 17 u

Charlie Foesch laughs maniacally when I ask about the superhero theme at Bean Vegan.

“Now, this is very subversive,” he says in a near whisper, then grins like the Cheshire Cat. He points to the huge Captain America cutout that greets patrons when they enter PHOTOS BY MARK KEMP Bean Vegan Cuisine, then motions to Holy fried tofu fingers (right), Batman! the back, behind the bar, where rows It’s Charlie Foesch inside Bean Vegan Cuisine. of action figures sit, ready to spring to life. coming in and they bring stuff for “So, we had this idea for a vegan us, too,” he says. “When the Heroes restaurant, right? We had very Convention is going on, this place specific ideas about the food — we gets packed.” wanted it to be Southern comfort Foesch was pleasantly surprised food. But we weren’t restaurant to find so many vegans among his designers,” Foesch says, and the fellow comic geeks. “A lot of comic drab yellow walls surrounding him artists and creators are vegan, and confirm his point. “None of us were they travel here from all over the interior designers. We really didn’t country to the Heroes Convention, know what we wanted the look of the and of course, they come in here to restaurant to be.” eat because it’s vegan, and they see Foesch’s eyes light up. “But I’m a all the comic book stuff, and then we comic-book fan,” he says, tugging have them for life. It’s a win-win — at his X-Men T-shirt. “I mean, for me, anyway.” obviously.” The shirt is black with The comic theme gives Bean a a large circle on the front featuring sense of playfulness that some of Wolverine in the middle surrounded the more serious, new-agey vegan

by Storm, Cyclops, Colossus, Beast restaurants don’t have. and Jean Grey, aka Phoenix. “I’ve “We’re definitely not trying always been a fan of comic books. to take ourselves too seriously,” I’m a fan of Shelton Drum [owner Foesch says. “But there’s room for of Charlotte’s Heroes Aren’t Hard everybody, and I love going to the to Find comic shop] and the Heroes different vegan restaurants in town Convention, and all that stuff.” that have a more structured style or When Bean first opened, Foesch that are maybe a little more highwould spend most of his waking end. We just wanted to make ours hours at work. “Anyone who’s ever more accessible for people who like opened a restaurant will tell you: It’s to eat out a few times a week and an adventure. Lots of long hours, get a good value and feel good about lots of time in the restaurant. I told themselves.

Roy and Kandice, ‘Look, if I’ve got “We also wanted to create a to spend all this time in here, from family-friendly environment,” he morning to night, I need some stuff adds, “and kids love comic book around me that makes me feel like stuff, so it makes it more accessible I’m at home.” for them, too.”

He started bringing his action Foesch pauses, looking to be in figures in to keep him company. deep thought. “When you think about Before long, customers were it,” he says, “superheroes aren’t bringing him comic-themed gifts just saving the planet for people — to display at Bean. “People really they’re saving the planet for animals, responded to it and appreciated it too.” His eyes light up even brighter as this cool thing, and it just took than before. on a life of its own. So we started “It’s clear to me that all intentionally adding more and more. superheroes are vegan,” Foesch “Now, we have comic-book artists says. “They just gotta be!” — M.K.

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VEGAN FROM P.16 t Bean. And we all like Southern comfort food.

So we eat the food that we make here. We’re not just selling vegan because it’s hip. We’re not just trying to think of what vegans might like. We’re cooking and selling the food that we like to eat. And I think that makes a difference; I think people feel that.

I’d say about 70 percent of our customers are not vegan and not vegetarian, and that’s because we put the focus on it being Southern comfort food that just happens to be vegan.

Look, it’s familiar food: A French fry is always going to be a French fry; collard greens and squash and kale are always going to be what they are. So if you can do the classics and do them well, and make it the way people will remember it, then the other stuff is just an added bonus. For example, our vegan burgers act like burgers, and our barbecue is like barbecue — just minus the cruelty and the misery.

How’d you come up with the name?

We wanted to call it Bean, but it was also important for us to have the word vegan in it because we wanted vegans to know there was a place they could come and get all-vegan food — not “vegan options,” but vegan. Some of my friends said, “Oh, nobody’s going to go if you put vegan in the name. That’ll turn people off.”

Five years later, it not only didn’t turn people off, but it’s helped us, because people know this is a vegan restaurant, and if you want to get a good vegan burger or a good

vegan sandwich, you go to Bean Vegan.

Not only that, but the whole landscape has changed in the last five years. Veganism has spread far and wide. Go into a grocery store now and there are so many new vegan products coming out every day and they’re getting better and better. People are more curious than ever about veganism. And they come to it for so many different reasons — they’re worried about their health, they come to it for political reasons or compassionate reasons or religious reasons.

Does that mean it’s easier to get vegan ingredients and supplies now?

Oh yes. All of our suppliers, all of our farmers — they’re all getting better and better about the stuff they produce. And that just makes it easier for us to sell it.

How have you grown as a vegan chef since Bean opened?

I know that producing food for myself and producing volumes of food are very different things. When I started on my vegan journey, I was just making food for me to eat, and when you do that, you cook it to eat right then. So I had to learn how to cook in stages: cooling it, frying it, doing other stuff. The process is a lot more involved.

But every year we get better at it. A busy Saturday today is not what it was five years ago. It goes much more smoothly now. Five years ago we’d do a fifth of the business and be running around like maniacs. Now it’s just seamless.

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CLCLT.COM | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | 17

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THURSDAY

9

EXCISION What: Canadian DJ and producer Excision regularly hits the upper reaches of Billboard’s Dance/ Electronic Albums charts with his brand of aggressive spine-rattling dubstep, which owes as much to the dark herky jerky industrial of Skinny Puppy as it does to noisy electro pioneers like Skrillex.

Excision shares the spotlight on his latest collection Virus with rapper Sam King and DJs Dion Timmer and Protohype. He also weaves haunting melodies into all the heavy bangin’ bass that makes the dance floor buckle.

When: 8:30 p.m.

Where: Fillmore, 820 Hamilton St. More: $30. fillmorecharlottenc.com.

18 | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | CLCLT.COM

THURSDAY

9

THINGS TO DO

TOP TEN

Excision THURSDAY

COURTESY OF EXCISION

FRIDAY

10

FRIDAY

10

THE UNCONDEMNED

MIKE BIRBIGLIA

HOUSINGFEST UNPLUGGED

What: The Charlotte Film Society brings investigative journalist Michele Mitchell (PBS’ Now with Bill Moyers) to the Queen City for a showing of her documentary The Uncondemned, which follows the work of activists and attorneys who helped make rape a war crime. The film centers on a Rwandan woman who testified about her rape during the Rwandan genocide of 1994 and received justice for women everywhere. Director Mitchell will give a talk and answer questions.

What: One of two heavy-hitting comedians playing Comedy Zone this week who cut their teeth on stages without any real TV credits, Mike Birbiglia follows up on Bill Burr’s Monday appearance with a two-night Music Factory run of “Working It Out.” Birbiglia recently finishing a 100-city off-Broadway tour of his latest show, “Thank God for Jokes,” which will premiere on Netflix later this month. Judging by his Twitter, expect Trump jokes.

What: This week and next month, the Urban Ministry Center holds two HousingFest events to raise awareness for what the organization and other homeless advocates are doing to end chronic homelessness in Charlotte.

Singer-songwriters Justin Fedor and Reeve Cobbs will perform and Urban Ministry staffers will be on hand to talk about their efforts across the city. The festival continues March 11 with HousingFest: A Concert to End Homelessness at The Fillmore.

When: 7 p.m.

Where: Regal Park Terrace, 4289 Park Rd. More: $5 (members); $10 (general). charlottefilmsociety.com.

When: Feb. 10, 7:30 p.m. and 9:45 p.m.; Feb. 11, 7:00 p.m. and 9:30 p.m.

Where: The Comedy Zone, 900 NC Music Factory Blvd.

More: $25-30. cltcomedyzone.com.

When: Feb. 10, 6-9 p.m.

Where: Triple C Brewing Company, 2900 Griffith St. More: $5. housingfest.org

SATURDAY

11

ELEVATE_NC PHOTOGRAPHY EXHIBIT What: In partnership with Black Diamond, Inner Peaks will showcase the wealth of great climbing spots and other adventures built for adrenaline junkies throughout NC. The exhibit features the works of Charlotte photographers Bryan Miller and Joe Virtanen, but wait, there’s more!

Free beer, food, raffle prizes and a silent auction make this a can’t miss. Embellish those climbing tales with each additional drink.

When: 6-9 p.m.

Where: Inner Peaks South End, 2220 S. Tryon St. More: Free. innerpeaks.com/ southend.

Slavery by Another Name SUNDAY

The Emotron TUESDAY

Scene from The Uncondemned THURSDAY

NEWS ARTS FOOD MUSIC ODDS

COURTESY OF DOUGLAS A. BLACKMON

SATURDAY

11

FRIGID 5K RUN & PLUNGE What: What’s the best thing to do after getting yourself all sweaty running more than three miles?

Jumping into a refreshing body of water sounds nice, unless you take into account that it’s the middle of winter. Hit the Whitewater Center trail system then be one of the first ever to jump into the facility’s new Deep Water Solo pool — 20 feet of ice-cold accomplishment. Awards will be given to the top three male and female finishers in 10 age groups.

When: 9 a.m.

Where: U.S. National Whiteater Center, 5000 Whitewater Center Pkwy.

More: $30-37. usnwc.org.

GEOFF HALL

SUNDAY

12

SLAVERY BY ANOTHER NAME What: Based on a Pulitzer Prizewinning book, this documentary examines how slavery continued long after the Emancipation Proclamation. Letters, photos and dramatic reenactments present a dark, decades-long chapter in American history, where Southern states entrapped and convicted African-Americans, handing out 5-10 year sentences for minor offenses, to provide cheap convict labor for emerging industries.

When: 2 p.m.

Where: Harvey B. Gantt Center, 551 S. Tryon St. More: Free with museum admission. ganttcenter.org

SUNDAY

12

TUESDAY

14

COURTESY OF THE UNCONDEMNED

TUESDAY

14

STARVING ARTIST MARKET

NAME THE EMOTRON

OF EBONY EMBERS

What: Whether you’re looking for that perfect, last-minute gift for your Valentine or simply want to support local, show up to help a local starving artist at Charlotte Art League, where 30 Charlotte-area artists and vendors will be on hand with goods including pet supplies, pottery, soaps, jewelry, paintings, prints, fiber arts, wood workings, gemstones, candles, glass art and more. Also, come hungry, as Roaming Fork will be set up with food and Emergensweets with amazing desserts.

What: Armed with the tinny tones and tinker-toy rhythms of a cheap 1980s synthesizer, The Emotron (AKA Jason Kyle Knight) is a one-man kamikaze squad, mixing performance art, minimalist punk and copious amounts of PBR into an unforgettable stage show. Knight’s been known to perform in a speedo or less, and occasionally set his crotch on fire — all in the name of art and songs celebrating and/ or excoriating coin collecting and Quantum Leap’s Scott Bakula.

What: A tapestry of chamber music performance and theatrical narrative, Of Ebony Embers celebrates the 1920s and 1930s Harlem Renaissance with words and music. We see poets Langston Hughes, Countee Cullen and Claude McKay, as observed by painter Aaron Douglas. An instrumental trio of cello, piano, and percussion weaves its spell though the show, playing jazz by Duke Ellington, Jelly Roll Morton, Thelonius Monk, Billy Strayhorn and Charles Mingus.

When: 9 p.m.

Where: The Milestone, 3400 Tuckaseegee Rd. More: $5. twentyfiveminutestogo. com.

When: 7:30 pm Where: Rowe Recital Hall, UNC Charlotte, 9201 University City Blvd.

More: Free. boxoffice@uncc.edu.

When: 12-5 p.m.

Where: Charlotte Art League, 1517 Camden Road.

More: Free. charlotteartleague.org.

CLCLT.COM | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | 19

PHOTO COURTESY OF CPCC

Billy Ensley, as Tateh (from left); Lucia Stetson, as Mother; Brittaney Currie, as Sarah; Tyler Smith, as Coalhouse.

ARTS

THEATER RAGTIME $18 - $20. Feb. 10, 7:30 p.m.; Feb. 11, 7:30 p.m.; Feb. 12, 2:30 p.m.; Feb. 16, 7:30 p.m.; Feb. 17, 7:30 p.m.; Feb. 18, 7:30 p.m.; and Feb. 19, 2:30 p.m.

Halton Theater, 1206 Elizabeth Ave. 704-330-6534. tix.cpcc.edu.

AMERICAN RAG U.S. reset brings new relevance to Doctorow classic

BY PERRY TANNENBAUM

T

HINGS WERE SO different

in 1906, the year E.L. Doctorow’s Ragtime begins.

Theodore Roosevelt, a conservationist Republican, was in his second term at the White House. The wave of immigrant Jewish refugees, fleeing pogroms in Russia, was at its peak.

American women would have to wait three more presidential elections before they could vote, but the charismatic Emma Goldman was one of the strong voices agitating on the streets. The African-American superstars 20 | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | CLCLT.COM

who sparked the popularity jazz in New Orleans were still children, but Scott Joplin had already codified the musical architecture of ragtime.

When Terrence McNally adapted Doctorow’s 1975 novel for the musical that opened on Broadway in 1998, costumes worn by the actors who played Goldman, Tateh the Jewish immigrant, and ragtime piano player Coalhouse Walker added to the impression that Ragtime was so yesterday. Women had already ascended to high elective offices and figured prominently in presidential politics.

Jewish immigrants and their descendants had crafted the very framework of Hollywood’s studios and Broadway’s musical theatre. Satchmo and the Duke were far in the rearview mirror of American cultural history, and Michael Jackson was deep into his reign as the King of Pop. Surely we had matured as a nation since those primitive days Doctorow and McNally chronicled. Each time I saw Ragtime again, in 2001, 2005, and especially in 2011 — when Barack Obama was President, and Hillary Clinton, his most formidable opponent in

the 2008 election, was Secretary of State — my sense of U.S. superiority and progress as a nation continued to grow.

Then came 2016. The shocking election result. The inauguration. The women’s demonstrations across America and across the ocean. The opening assault on immigration.

Or how about Trayvon Martin, Ferguson, and the cavalcade of atrocities posted to social media since early 2012? When Ragtime arrives this weekend at Halton Theater, in a new production by CPCC Theatre, it won’t

“OUR RECENT PRESIDENTIAL RESULTS SHOWED THE WORLD HOW MUCH RACIAL HATRED STILL LOOMS HERE.” TYLER SMITH

seem as quaint and primitive as it did five years ago. In so many ways, we’ve punched the reset button.

When Brian Stokes Mitchell, as Coalhouse, introduced the rousing song “Wheels of a Dream,” he seemed to be dreaming of today.

This week, when Charlotte powerhouse Tyler Smith takes on Coalhouse, he will still be envisioning a better tomorrow that hasn’t come.

Smith was never under any illusions.

“This country was founded on principles that were never all-inclusive,” he says. “Our recent presidential results showed the world how much racial hatred still looms here.”

After a couple of lightweight roles at CP in last winter’s Irving Berlin revue and last summer’s Sister Act, Megan Postle is eager to show some range — and depth — as Goldman. “I have a personal attachment to Ragtime,” Postle reveals. “It was my first Broadway show. My aunt took me to see the original cast.”

ONE OF THE fascinating things about Ragtime is its mix of historical and fictional characters. Doctorow gives cameos of varying lengths to J.P. Morgan, Booker T. Washington, Harry Houdini, Henry Ford, Admiral Peary, and Evelyn Nesbit.

But none of the historical characters is altered more in trafficking with Doctorow’s fictional characters than Goldman, who sheds her anarchist and assassin tendencies.

“Goldman is the Greek chorus for Ragtime,” says Postle. “She speaks for all members of the human race who feel there is inequality.”

Emma’s character also helps to stitch the various strands of the plot together.

Coalhouse and Tateh head two of the three families that anchor this story. They are the outsiders while the third family, prosperous inhabitants of New Rochelle, complete the New York triangle.

Onboard a ship sailing away from America to join Admiral Peary’s polar expedition as the show begins, the Father waves a hello across the water to Tateh, who is on a raggedy ship that’s just arrived in New York’s harbor at the end of its voyage across the Atlantic to Ellis Island. From there, the story forms

Brittaney Currie, as Sarah, and Tyler Smith, as Coalhouse.

an epic arc that resolves gracefully as the full company delivers its epilogue. Along the way, we glide past a labor strike by exploited millworkers in Massachusetts, Goldman’s galvanizing oratory, horrid police brutality, and audacious, explosive, vengeful responses from Coalhouse.

Smith says the racial issues that have heated up since the most recent 2009 revival

Tom Hollis, CP’s drama chair, chose Ragtime for the 2016-17 season back in spring 2015, around the time Donald Trump’s announcement for candidacy was greeted with more laughter than alarm. Hollis considered it then in the vein of 1776, the musical that was already set to run last September, just before the first presidential debate.

He still does. “When we were doing 1776 we

“[EMMA GOLDMAN] SPEAKS FOR ALL MEMBERS OF THE HUMAN RACE WHO FEEL THERE IS INEQUALITY.” MEGAN POSTLE

of Ragtime on Broadway and the end of the Obama presidency make the characters more relevant in the current political climate.

“Today’s Coalhouse is every father, husband, brother and son killed without proper justice being served,” Smith says.

“Every wife, sister, mother and daughter who have to feel the grief and bear the weight of losing a lost one while nobody seems to care.

People like Eric Gardner, Trayvon Martin, Keith Lamont Scott, the mothers of all those murdered in Chicago. There is a line sung in the show saying ‘we’re all Coalhouse.’ It hits home because it is true.”

were constantly being struck by the parallels to life today,” Hollis says. “Each generation of Americans has had to face coming up with an answer to these issues because they are woven into the fabric of our country. That we haven’t been able to find a permanent solution is the sad irony of our history.”

A tragic compromise on slavery clouded the happy ending of 1776, and what happens to Coalhouse clouds the ending of Ragtime. A member of the New Rochelle family who was inspired by Goldman ultimately vows to keep Coalhouse’s story alive, while Tateh achieves the American dream.

PHOTO COURTESY OF CPCC

BILLY ENSLEY, A mainstay of the CPCC

Theatre for decades, will play Tateh at the Halton. It’s the latest in a series of Jewish roles he has played over in his acting career, including Eugene in Neil Simon’s Broadway Bound, and two ill-fated historical figures, San Francisco activist Harvey Milk and Atlanta’s Leo Frank. Wrongly convicted of the 1913 murder of Mary Phagan in Atlanta — and subsequently lynched — Frank was the tragic hero of Alfred Uhry’s Parade, presented at the Halton in 2006.

So for Ensley, it’s a journey back to the same period with a similar rueful takeaway, even if Tateh’s story does end happily.

“Current events regarding immigration have only strengthened the way I have always felt about those that are marginalized, forgotten, discriminated against,” Ensley says.

“We all deserve a chance to live fulfilling, safe and happy lives, and those of us that have that already should do what we can to see to it that others less fortunate can as well.

“Our country was built by immigrants,” he says.

Ensley offers advice for immigration opponents: “For those today in favor of a closed-off America, I suggest a trip to Ellis Island and a little research on where the people came from that made this country the wonderful and rich country that it is.”

Travel advisory: Ellis Island is just a short boat ride away from the Statue of Liberty, depicted on the cover of numerous editions and translations of Ragtime.

CLCLT.COM | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | 21

STX ENTERTAINMENT

Asa Butterfield in The Space Between Us.

ARTS

FILM

MARS BARRED Insipid tale is lost in Space

BY MATT BRUNSON

I

IF YOU WANT to learn about life on Mars, you can either groove to David Bowie or sit through The Space Between Us (*1/2 out of four). It’s not really much of a choice. If it’s been determined that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, then this daft film clearly hails from that planet with the foul-sounding name.

A teen flick that registers less as “YA” and more as “why bother,” The Space Between 22 | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | CLCLT.COM

Us at least has its heart in the right place.

That would be inside the body of 16-yearold Gardner Elliot (Asa Butterfield), who becomes the first human born on Mars after his astronaut mom (Janet Montgomery) pops him out and subsequently dies on the operating table. Raised on the Red Planet by sympathetic astronaut Kendra Wyndham (Carla Gugino), Gardner longs to visit Earth, even though the change in atmosphere would threaten to enlarge his heart and

destroy his bones. Nevertheless, with the approval of Nathaniel Shepherd (Gary Oldman), the head of the space program, Gardner is allowed to briefly visit our planet — at which point he takes off to find the father he never knew. Along for the crosscountry trek is Tulsa (Charlotte native Britt Robertson), a grouchy high school girl who doesn’t believe he’s from Mars but elects to help him anyway.

The opening act on Mars is stridently

lackluster — the presence of Matt Damon is sorely needed — and the picture only picks up slightly once it crash-lands on Earth.

There’s some modest amusement in watching Gardner approach each new discovery like some intergalactic Chauncey Gardiner, and Butterfield sells these moments perfectly.

But any sense of wonder quickly gives way to a tired and tepid romance between a dying boy and the girl he thaws, and the central mystery — the identity of Gardner’s father

ARTS

ARTSPEAK

WEARING THE WAR Meghan Coomes makes jewelry out of love letters

BY JASMIN HERRERA

BEFORE THOMAS and Agnes Coomes

Robert De Niro in The Comedian.

— is not only apparent from the start but also introduces some sleazy undercurrents into the tale. Those looking for quality cinema might want to stick with the Oscar contenders currently glutting theaters and maintain a safe distance from The Space Between Us.

THE BAD NEWS regarding Robert De Niro

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is that the actor has backed away from his 2016 claim that he’d like to punch Psychopath-inChief Donald Trump in the face — a shame, since a bout between Raging Bull and Raging Bullshit sounds like a guaranteed good time. The good news, though, is that he’s also backed away from delivering grotesque performances in unwatchable atrocities — well, for one picture anyhow.

De Niro, whose 2016 vehicle Dirty Grandpa placed high on countless 10 Worst lists (mine included), has occasionally stirred from his paycheck-snatching stupor to remind viewers that the talent within can still be stoked from time to time. It was on view in 2012’s Silver Linings Playbook, it was on tap in 2015’s The Intern, and it’s on display in The Comedian (*** out of four). Directed

by Taylor Hackford (Ray) and co-written by a quartet that includes producer Art Linson (The Untouchables) and veteran scribe Richard LaGravenese (The Fisher King), The Comedian is a ragged but often uproarious piece about Jackie Burke (De Niro), a struggling stand-up comic best known for his starring role on an inane sitcom from an earlier decade. As his agent (Edie Falco) is kept busy trying to find anyone who will hire him, Jackie ends up befriending Harmony (Leslie Mann, typically excellent), a single woman dealing with her own set of issues.

A two-hour seriocomedy that could stand being trimmed by about 15 minutes, The Comedian benefits from the nice rapport between De Niro and Mann, the contributions of a knockout supporting cast (including Danny DeVito, De Niro’s Midnight Run co-star Charles Grodin, and, in a nice nod to their Scorsese collaborations, Harvey Keitel), and hard-edged humor that isn’t afraid to go for the low blow. De Niro is in fine form here, particularly when he’s taking no prisoners in his stand-up routines. I’d say let’s wait and see what he does for an encore, but the track record suggests he’ll be back to churning out dismal duds in no time. For the moment, though, it’s nice to see him deserving cheers rather than jeers.

were ever married, they were separated by World War II. From the day he was deployed 1942, until he returned home safely in 1945, Thomas and Agnes wrote to each other every day.

The Coomes are the grandparents of artist Meghan Coomes, and their relationship taught her the value of the written word, its tangibility and the uniqueness of someone’s penmanship. She had craved holding on to her family while traveling and working as a producer for the CMT network in 2011.

When her homesickness was at an all-time high, she reached out to her grandmother in Louisville, Ky., and asked for a letter that was sent from her grandmother to her grandfather.

One day, while walking through Dee’s Crafts, a shop in Kentucky, Coomes spotted a piece of glass and thought, “I could turn that into something with a letter,” but she wasn’t yet sure what that something was. She eventually figured it out — she would turn her grandparents’ love letters into jewelry.

In her jewelry, Coomes uses wire, glass fragments, gems and other stones, and even kitchenware from shipwrecks to create her pieces. “It’s truly a culmination of so many passions of mine: the handwritten word, family history, World War II, art,” Coomes says. “I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I started it, but it’s been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.”

Over a glass of Prosecco at Zada Jane’s Corner Cafe in Plaza Midwood, and wearing a necklace she made from a cut-out of a fourpage letter her grandmother wrote during the 1940s, the 32-year-old jewelry designer, who lives and works in the neighborhood, talks about how her hobby evolved into a business.

Creative Loafing: How did you start receiving attention?

Coomes: Someone was like “What is that?

What are you wearing?” I’m like “Oh, it’s a World War II love letter.” So then people started coming to me saying “Can you use my old letters, recipes, song lyrics, anything.” That’s when I started customizing pieces for people as well. So they can actually wear their memories and somebody’s handwriting, which I think is much like a fingerprint, it can’t be perfectly reproduced. I think it’s special that they can wear somebody’s message to you, other than just collecting dust in boxes.

Where do you sell?

I do art shows, I sell to art galleries, boutiques and stuff like that. [She mostly sells through her website foreveryoursagnes.com.]

COURTESY OF MEGHAN COOMES

Meghan Coomes’ grandmother posed for this photo before she passed away in December.

Is there any boutique in Charlotte that carries your stuff?

No, not yet. We just moved here from Louisville last year. It’s such a specific thing that it has to be a place where the person is actually gonna sell it. Otherwise, you look at it and you’re like ‘What the heck is that?’ and you overlook it. There’s a story behind it that makes it more appealing.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever been asked to make jewelry out of?

I would say when country singer Miranda Lambert, her best friend died, who was also my ex-boyfriend — that’s how he and I met, I was on a shoot doing a story about her. I told her I would make something and she wanted me to use their favorite song lyric. So I took all these letters from his mom and made that song lyric out of all of his handwriting. So that was weird. I’d never piecemealed somebody’s handwriting before. It took a while because I had to make it look like it wasn’t cut out.

What piece has been the most special to you?

My grandma actually died in December. I was living down here and I was traumatized over it because it happened pretty suddenly. I would say the most special piece would be the one that I made the day after she died. And I did that as a therapeutic thing. I just started making jewelry and a made a necklace. I read through her letters and then made that piece from a particular letter, it was a New Year’s Eve letter.

It talks about how my grandparents hadn’t seen each other in the whole year of 1943. And I just thought about it. Now they’re reunited after all these years of being apart since he died.

Would your grandmother ever help you make the jewelry?

No, she did not, but she would model it (see photo above). She loved seeing every piece.

I cherish that photo, especially considering these are the original letters. I just love that.

I just think about her hands and how aged they are and how those very hands wrote the very letters on her fingers decades and decades ago.

CLCLT.COM | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | 23

MUSIC

FEATURE

REPRESENTING THE CLASS OF ’17 Ahmir the King debut looks to lead group of hungry, young CLT rappers

BY RYAN PITKIN

I

SAIAH AHMIR FORD has just two classes to finish before he can graduate high school. The 18-year-old Rocky River High School student is still unclear on whether he will attend college once he’s done, but it looks like that all depends on how things go for his alter ego, Ahmir the King, who just dropped his debut album, Black Tape.

Speaking with Ahmir at SouthPark Mall just two days after the Feb. 1 release date, it’s clear the momentum of Black Tape has him looking past school for the time being.

“If I got to be 100-percent honest with you, this is what I love to do. I’ve never been the school type of person,” says Ahmir, who grew up in northeast Charlotte. “I’m real big on self-education; finding out stuff for yourself. Especially with the knowledge that school doesn’t really teach you everything about any subject, I feel like if you go out and reach for knowledge yourself you’ll probably accomplish more than paying $30,000 in tuition. That’s kind of where I’m at. But we’ll just see however it goes.”

Creative Loafing can’t speak for how things will or won’t turn out for Ahmir in his newly budding rap career, but we can say that Black Tape was a surprise; a high-quality, full-length album that seemingly came out of nowhere from a rapper we had never heard of. We were even more surprised to learn upon meeting Ahmir only after hearing the album that he was but a teenager still yet to graduate high school.

The album is intense; ranging from lyrical bravado, to aggressive diss tracks aimed at unnamed Charlotte rappers, to poignant diatribes on police brutality in the Queen City and beyond. From front to end, the album is a great start to the year for the Charlotte rap scene, and a great start to a career for Ahmir, who released the album for free on Soundcloud.

He says he simply wants to use Black Tape as a demo of sorts; a platform to prove his mettle while looking to book shows and open up the opportunity for new collaborations in 2017. That may be his goal, but the album itself rises above demo status and proves a promising start for the emerging artist, who says he’s just one of a large group of teen rappers quietly working together behind the scenes and ready to take the Charlotte scene by storm.

AHMIR THE KING’S career started two years ago with the recording of the aptly 24 | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | CLCLT.COM

named single, “Genesis.”

He had been writing poetry and spitting short raps with friends at school since he was a child, but had never taken it seriously. In sixth grade, as a student at Randolph Middle School, he decided to quit rapping to focus on becoming a better student and making his way to a good college. By eighth grade, things looked a little different.

“That’s when I kind of started looking at it like, they’re not teaching us everything about anything,” Ahmir says. “They don’t teach us anything we actually need to know.

That’s what has always been important to me and that’s why I’ve been feeling like the school system is failing us.”

It was around this time that Ahmir began getting back into the cypher circles with his friends, freestyling every day after school.

He found that he was still good at it, and soon felt a passion for rapping that he hadn’t had before.

“When I came back to it I noticed I couldn’t leave it again. It seemed like stuff kind of fell into place,” he says.

Ahmir began taking rap more seriously than his friends, and eventually began writing songs. He never had plans to record, until he learned about an opening at Studio 345 in Spirit Square in Uptown Charlotte and went for it with “Genesis.”

The track, a menacing song over a “Deep Cover”-esque beat that includes a hook about the importance of getting money over sleeping that sounds like it’s shouted through a loudspeaker, was the perfect introduction.

It got attention quick, and today it has over 51,000 listens on Soundcloud.

“After that, I still wasn’t sold on it being that serious, but it’s just like the more you get into it the more you love it,” Ahmir says.

“Even then I didn’t know I was going to drop a tape or anything, I was just writing. And it grew from there.”

Ahmir continued dropping singles here and there throughout high school, but nothing consistent. It wasn’t until May of last year that he finally decided he wanted to drop an album.

“I kind of started off with just ambition, just being like, if he can do it, I can do it,” Ahmir says. “This is when I was younger and I was probably overconfident then. But I had to take a step back and say, ‘You’re not putting in no work right now. You can’t SEE

KING P. 25 u

KING FROM P.24 t be the only one believing in yourself.’ That’s why I sat on this project for a decent amount of time and just made sure everything was perfect. So I could come out and actually prove myself.”

ABOUT A MONTH after Ahmir decided to

pursue a true album, he witnessed the video of police officers in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, shooting and killing Alton Sterling while they held him to the ground.

The incident inspired him to write one of his most heartfelt tracks, “Riot,” in which he encourages folks to take to the streets to fight police brutality. “How come we don’t ride like we used to? Set the city on fire like we used to? Tell us put our hands up and they still shoot. No peace in the streets ‘til we equal,” he raps.

Ahmir wrote the song in response to the violence he was seeing all too often on television, and had no idea that two months later violence would spill into the streets of his hometown after another police shooting here.

The Keith Scott shooting inspired him to write the minute-and-a-half interlude “Skyfall,” in which his response is notably more measured. He begins the short verse with, “I see the sky fallin’ and I don’t pay it no mind, I hear the riots callin’ I can see us losing our time, I see that they was lyin’ when they told us justice was blind, ‘cause its vision clear and crisp when it’s blue-on-black crime.”

Ahmir’s writing style often involves drawing inspiration from a certain event in his life, whether it be how he views art in a Charlotte boutique — one of his favorite hobbies — or drama he’s been through with a former friend, then thinking on it for weeks before expressing his feelings in song.

He describes Skyfall as just such a song, while “Riot” was more of a knee-jerk reaction.

“Basically, I would say [‘Riot’] is the impulse that people feel when police brutality happens. I wasn’t really encouraging anybody to go riot or anything, but I’m saying, that’s how we feel,” Ahmir says. “It’s an accurate depiction of the feelings and emotions that go through our head when those things happen. “’Skyfall,’ that was closer to home and I was sitting back and I was thinking, now that it’s on your home turf, it’s hard to say go blow up the streets that you grew up on. I took a step back and thought about everything, and that’s where ‘Skyfall’ came from. It was like the more peaceful way to think about it and encouraging people to go seek knowledge. It was more empowering in a positive way.”

NOW THAT AHMIR is officially on the way to making his name with a full-length release, he says he wants to continue working with a group of other young rappers who are coming up alongside him. He drops names like Fresco (his brother), Mavi, Reuben Vincent, Orpheus Letrista and Buddha Bless as being among a group of teen up-and-comers looking to change the way Charlotte looks at rap music.

“These are young guys. They’re hungry.

They’re really out here, and it’s not like everybody’s on the trap wave,” he says.

“Nobody I just named is doing trap music, and nobody I just named is doing music like me.

“I would say [‘Riot’] is the impulse that people feel when police brutality happens. I wasn’t really encouraging anybody to go riot or anything, but I’m saying, that’s how we feel. It’s an accurate depiction of the feelings and emotions that go through our head when those things happen.”

AHMIR THE KING, ON HIS SONG ADDRESSING POLICE BRUTALITY

Everybody is in their own lane but they’re still making that connection and making those waves, because they’re curving their own style and their own sound out. That’s the best thing about it. We’re getting past where everybody was on trap, and that’s kind of dying down now. It’s corny.”

It was Ahmir’s eagerness to see Charlotte rappers move on from the same old trap music that inspired him to write “NEVADA,”

an intense track in which he aims rapid fire rhymes at folks he didn’t think were living up to their hype in the Queen City.

“Why these rappers think they made it, ‘cause they Instagram famous, with their fake designer belts and their jewelry gold-plated,” he raps.

“At that point I was like pretty pissed off about something. I don’t even remember what it was,” Ahmir says. “It was something a

Charlotte artist had done and then how people were hyping him up, and I was like, ‘This isn’t even music.’ I was pissed.”

Now, for Ahmir, 2017 is about helping his city grow as opposed to slamming the ones he disagrees with.

And with Black Tape in the bag, and more music on the way, it’s a step in the right direction.

RPITKIN@CLCLT.COM

CLCLT.COM | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | 25

MUSIC

MUSICMAKER

THE TAMPONES UNLEASH THE LOVE Cabaret duo delivers a big freaky Valentine at Petra’s

BY PAT MORAN

“I DON’T KNOW how far I should go into Alphonse’s background,” Ashby Blakely says.

“Like our show, some of his story might be inappropriate.”

Blakely is attempting to give a clean origin story for the World Famous Tampones, a cabaret duo he formed with Charlotte actress and PaperHouse Theater’s Artistic Director Nicia Carla. Let’s just say that Alphonse Tampone had a difficult birth, and that he crowned at several international border crossings.

Sporting unidentifiable yet vaguely European accents, Alphonse and Carmella Tampone are warm, witty, worldly and perpetually horny. They bring their racy LoveFest – A Very Special Valentine’s Cabaret to Petra’s, Saturday, February 11 at 9 p.m.

Ashby and Carla developed their characters three years ago for XOXO’s Bohemian Grove, a mystical absurdist journey through the South Carolina woodlands and the spirit world.

Since the XOXO show dealt with the great beyond, it makes perfect sense that the the dead-sexy, jet-setting Tampones took on an afterlife of their own. The Tampones have gone on to stage several shows centered on holidays like Christmas and Halloween, and plans are afoot to launch a Tampones podcast and YouTube channel.

Creative Loafing talked with Blakely about love, ukuleles and everything sexy – pronounced in the Tampones’ accent as “sessy.”

THE WORLD FAMOUS TAMPONES PRESENT LOVEFEST - A VERY SPECIAL VALENTINE’S CABARET Feb. 11, 8 p.m.; Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave. 704-332-6602. petrasbar.com.

Coming Back to Me Now” – a really dramatic love song. We’ve also done Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” and “Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus.

We try to find songs you wouldn’t think somebody would play with ukulele.

Creative Loafing: Can you describe the Tampones for people who have not experienced them before?

Blakely: Alphonse is the mayor of the town where Bohemian Grove is located, and Carmella is his wife, but they’re also a world famous traveling act. We do magic tricks, tell jokes, play games with the audience and strum ukuleles. It’s just a fun night.

Everybody usually leaves feeling happy, and I think that will be especially true for this show.

The LoveFest is going to be a special occasion, even if you’re single.

These characters are very warm and very sex positive. Can you expound on the whole sexy (pronounced “sessy”) thing?

Alphonse and Carmella are open and very welcoming. They want everyone to be comfortable, so they’re not pushy, but they are pro-free love. They have an open relationship, so if an audience member fancies them, they can definitely come back to the hotel with them. Who knows? If you’re single and you come to the show, you might end up meeting your significant other at the Love Fest.

What will you be playing on ukulele and singing in the Valentine’s show?

We’re opening with a Celine Dion song, “It’s All

The Tampones are almost characters on Sesame Street, only kinky. How did you develop that aspect of them?

I think a big part of that is Nicia. In her

26 | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | CLCLT.COM

COURTESY OF DREA ATKINS

Ashby Blakely, Nicia Carla everyday life, she is just so warm, welcoming and sweet, that it translates into Carmella.

And then Alphonse became infused with that warmth while we were developing the characters. That’s where it started. We want you to know how much they love each other.

It’s not about getting with other people as much as they love each other so much, that they want others to experience that level of love. With them, it can be a hug, it can be going back to their house, or it can be whatever the people in the audience are comfortable with.

We wanted to feel free to be dirty or perverse, but we didn’t want to do it in a way that would turn people off. They seem endearing instead of nasty.

So Nicia brings some of herself to her character. Is there anything of you in Alphonse?

There’s a lot of me in Alphonse. Alphonse, more than Carmella, likes shock value.

Sometimes I’ll tell a certain joke that I know will shock people. I think Alphonse gets a kick out of that. He even shocks Carmella sometimes to keep her on her toes. We’ve been at certain venues before where I’d gone over jokes and Nicia would groan, but I did them anyway. Sometimes they land and sometimes they don’t.

This is a musical comedy cabaret show with ukuleles and purposefully bad magic tricks. Does it have a message?

The overall message is that we should love one another. The Tampones take everybody

away from what they’re thinking about. It’s just a ridiculous, fun and silly night. You stop thinking about what’s going on outside of the venue and you become a part of their world.

Whether you’re participating with them playing games, or laughing at a dirty joke, the biggest message is to take time out and laugh.

CLCLT.COM | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | 27

THIS FRIDAY

❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈

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SOUNDBOARD

❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈

TRACEY LAWRENCE ALL TICKETS $20 FEBRUARY 15

❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈

CHARLOTTE’S BIGGEST SINGLES PARTY A NIGHT OF MUSIC, DANCING DRINK SPECIALS, PRIZES GIVEAWAYS & MORE! FEATURING

OUT OF THE BLUE AND SPECIAL GUEST DJ GUYS $6 AT THE DOOR LADIES IN FOR FREE!

❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈

FEBRUARY 17

THE LACS LIMITED ADVANCE TICKETS $15 ALL OTHERS $17

❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈

MARCH 3

COYOTE JOE’S BIRTHDAY BASH FEATURING

TYLER FARR LIMITED ADVANCE TICKETS $22 ALL OTHERS $25*

*TWO TICKETS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE! MUST BE BOUGHT IN PAIRS MARCH 10

❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈

TUCKER BEATHARD LIMITED ADVANCE TICKETS $15 ALL OTHERS $18 MARCH 17

❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈

DRAKE WHITE AND THE BIG FIRE

LIMITED ADVANCE TICKETS $12 ALL OTHERS $15

❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈

WILD1-2-3 NIGHTS FEBRUARY 11, 18 & 24

❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈ ❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈

ON SALE AT COYOTE JOES AND COYOTE-JOES.COM COYOTE JOE’S : 4621 WILKINSON BLVD

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28 | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | CLCLT.COM

MUSIC

FEB. 8 CLASSICAL/JAZZ/SMOOTH The National Symphony Orchestra of Ukraine (Knight Theater)

COUNTRY/FOLK The Loudermilks w/ The Menders, Dust & Ashes (Visulite Theatre)

POP/ROCK Aledo w/ Em Young (The Evening Muse) Black Fleet (Snug Harbor) Jettison Five (RiRa Irish Pub) Karaoke with DJ Pucci Mane (Petra’s) Modern Heritage Weekly Mix Tape (Snug Harbor) Open Mic Night (Comet Grill) Open mic w/ Jared Allen (Jack Beagles) Tchami (The Fillmore Charlotte) Welshly Arms (The Underground)

FEB. 9 POP/ROCK Excision (The Fillmore Charlotte) Flat Tire Trio (Comet Grill) Karaoke with DJ ShayNanigans (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) Shiprocked (Snug Harbor) Songwriter Open Mic @ Petra’s (Petra’s)

FEB. 10 CLASSICAL/JAZZ/SMOOTH The Charlotte Symphony: Brahms Symphony No. 1 (Belk Theater) Jazzy Fridays (Freshwaters Restaurant) John Pizzarelli (Wingate University’s Batte Center, Wingate)

COUNTRY/FOLK Andy McKee (Neighborhood Theatre) Austin Allsup, Brendan Fletcher & Aaron Gibson from The Voice (Puckett’s Farm Equipment) Darin & Brooke Aldridge & Friends (Don Gibson Theatre, Shelby) Doug McCormick. (Sylvia Theatre, York) Josh Ritter w/Lowland Hum (McGlohon Theater) The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill) LoCash w/Michael Tyler, Ryan Follese (Fillmore) Tracy Lawrence w/ Out of the Blue (Coyote Joe’s, Charlotte)

BLUES/ROOTS/INTERNATIONAL Zydeco Ya Ya & Carolina Gator Gumbo (Petra’s)

POP/ROCK Aloha Broha w/ Teen Divorce, Ozone Jones

(The Station) Blame The Youth w/ Wieuca, Dead Balloons (Snug Harbor) Breatheink Youth Poetry Slam (Knight Gallery Spirit Square) Gigi Mack and the Gispot (Blu Notes) Lucy Kaplansky (The Evening Muse) Messenger Down, Deuteronomy Anno Domini, Warpath, Slim Drifter, Reaves, The Culturalist, Key of Betrayal (Amos’ Southend) My Own Will, The Creatures in Secret, Blackwater Drowning, Black Ritual (Milestone) Natty Boh (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) Pluto For Planet at RiRa (RiRa Irish Pub) Stop Light Observations (The Evening Muse)

FEB. 11 CLASSICAL/JAZZ/SMOOTH The Charlotte Symphony: Brahms Symphony No. 1 (Belk Theater) Saxophonist Jeanette Harris / The Terence Young Experience (McGlohon Theater)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B Eliah (Blu Notes)

COUNTRY/FOLK Bill Anderson (Don Gibson Theatre, Shelby, Shelby)

DJ/ELECTRONIC Label Valentine’s: DJ More9, DJ Ian Krom, DJ DannyB (Label)

POP/ROCK Carolinacation (RiRa Irish Pub) Josh Pearson and Corey Wells (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) The Michael Tracey Band (Puckett’s Farm Equipment) Nonpoint w/ Something Clever, Kairos WEAPONS OF ANEW, & Nephilym!

(Underground) Perpetual Groove (Neighborhood Theatre) Trial by Fire: Journey Tribute Band (The Fillmore Charlotte) Hardcore Lounge and Alternative Champs w/ Spacebar, Starseed, DJ Godwin and Leisure McCorkle (Snug Harbor)

FEB. 12 POP/ROCK Corey Hunt, Tyler Hatley, Josh Brannon, Mikele Buck, Kevin Dedmon of Dirty Grass Soul (Amos’ Southend) Hiss Golden Messenger with The Dead Tongues (Neighborhood Theatre)

OC45, The Hooliganz, Van Huskins (Milestone) Omari and The Hellrasiers (Comet Grill) Safetysuit (The Underground) Wayne Wonder (Blu Notes)

Fillmore)

COUNTRY/FOLK

Tall Tall Trees (March 2, Evening Muse)

Caroline Keller Band & Laura Rabell (Evening Muse)

Landlady (March 4, Evening Muse)

CLASSICAL/JAZZ/SMOOTH

Cold War Kids w/ Special Guest Middle Kids

Jazz Workshop and Improv featuring John Shaughnessy (Petra’s)

FEB. 13

Southside Johhny & the Asbury Jukes (March 2, McGlohon Theater) Sleigh Bells (March 2, The Underground)

Chocola (March 4, Snug Harbor) (March 5, The Fillmore) The Dig (March 8, Evening Muse) Ian Sweet (March 10, Snug Harbor) St. Paul & The Broken Bones (March 11, The

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Fillmore)

Knocturnal (Snug Harbor)

Landless (March 18, Snug Harbor)

#MFGD Open Mic (Apostrophe Lounge)

Judah & the Lion (March 18, The Underground) Hungry Girl (March 24, Snug Harbor)

POP/ROCK Locals Live: The Best in Local Live Music & Local Craft Beers (Tin Roof) Messenger Down, Cherbough Way, Rothschild, Futurists (Milestone)

FEB. 14 COUNTRY/FOLK Red Rockin’ Chair (Comet Grill) Tuesday Night Jam w/ The Smokin’ Js (Smokey

The Flaming Lips (March 30, The Fillmore) Birds of Chicago(April 5, Evening Muse) Kehlani (April 6, The Underground) Dark Star Orchestra (April 15, The Fillmore) Red Hot Chilli Peppers (April 17, Spectrum Center) Steve Martin, Martin Short, Steep Canyon Diet Cig (April 22, Snug Harbor)

Joe’s Cafe)

Lauryn Hill (April 28, CMCU Amphitheater)

POP/ROCK

Carolina Rebellion (May 5-7, Charlotte Motor

Beyond The Broken, “The Famous Unknown” Randy Danderand (Amos’ Southend) Jack Toft, The Emotron, Lil Skritt, Dallas Thrasher (Milestone) Karaoke with DJ President James A. Garfield (The Station) Open Mic with Jeff Claud (Puckett’s Farm Equipment) Red Rockin’ Chair (Comet Grill) Shableek (Blu Notes) Valentines at Tin Roof: Thirsty Horses (Tin Roof) The Wood Brothers with T Sisters (Neighborhood Theatre)

COMING SOON Justin Hayward (Feb. 16, McGlohon Theater) Chuck Johnson & Charleyhorse (Feb. 16, Evening Muse) Marc Maron (Feb. 16, Knight Theater) Lucy Woodward (Feb. 19, Evening Muse) Shovels & Rope (Feb. 21, Knight Theater) Tommy Emmanuel (Feb. 24, McGlohon Theater) Juicy J w/ Belly and Project Pat (Feb. 25, The

COMPLIMENTARY MOVIE PASSES

Rangers (April 22, Ovens Auditorium)

Neil Diamond (April 28, Spectrum Center) Speedway) Bastille (May 6, CMCU Amphitheater)

2/18 3/1 3/24 4/14 PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG 4/22 THE TEMPERANCE MOVEMENT

INVITES YOU AND A GUEST TO A SPECIAL SCREENING OF

KT Tunstall HIPPO CAMPUS

NEED DIRECTIONS? Check out our website at clclt.

com. CL online provides addresses, maps and directions from your location. Send us your concert listings: E-mail us at aovercash@clclt. com or fax it to 704-522-8088. We need the date, venue, band name and contact name and number. The deadline is each Wednesday, one week before publication.

FOR A CHANCE TO WIN PASSES FOR TWO VISIT clclt.com/charlotte /freestuff RATED R FOR LANGUAGE THROUGHOUT, SEXUAL CONTENT/NUDITY AND DRUG MATERIAL. Please note: Passes are limited and will be distributed on a first come, first served basis while supplies last. No phone calls, please. Limit two passes per person. Each pass admits one. Seating is not guaranteed.

Arrive early. Theater is not responsible for overbooking. This screening will be monitored for unauthorized recording. By attending, you agree not to bring any audio or video recording device into the theater (audio recording devices for credentialed press excepted) and consent to a physical search of your belongings and person.

IN THEATERS FEBRUARY 17 FistFightMovie.com #FistFight

CLCLT.COM | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | 29

y a D s ’ e n i t n e l a V ! t u o Blow

! s l a i c e p S y a D Eight V PURGATORY ANTI-VALENTINE BASH

BIG MAMMA’S HOUSE OF BURLESQUE 10TH VALENTEASE SHOW So, you sweat it out at the Undie Run earlier in the day (see next page) and had a few drinks; then you went and got cuddled so hard at the Cuddle You So Hard bar crawl (see this page) you’re feeling queasy and can’t make it to 2 a.m.

But you’re still wanting to party.

Go see Big Mama. She’ll be good to you.

She’ll know how to soothe your aching Valentine’s heart.

It’s the 10th Annual Valentease Burlesque Show featuring Big Mama’s House of Burlesque.

Big Mama’s, you should know, is the largest and longest-running burlesque and variety show in the Southeast. Charlotte performer Deana Pendragon founded the themed event in 2006 in the former site of original Charlotte freakshow act Jim and Tammy Bakker, and Big Mama’s Burlesque has since featured a variety of themes — they’ve ranged from goth to nerd to heroes and villains — and performers including magicians, jugglers, sideshow acts, striptease artists and more. It ain’t dirty, insists Big Mama, so don’t get your panties all up in a twist.

It’s been described as “The Muppet Show with tits.”

Shut up! That ain’t dirty.

When: Feb. 13, 8 p.m.

Where: Visulite, 1615 Elizabeth Ave. More: $18–$20. visulite.com.

30 | FEB. 9 - FEB. 15, 2017 | CLCLT.COM

If you’ve never had the chance to wave your freak flag during a Purgatory event at Amos’ Southend, this is your last chance to attend the party at its longtime location, which will soon close its doors for good.

So party like it’s the end of the world -because, you know, it could be. Purgatory’s annual anti-Valentine is all about fetish and cosplay, and this one is is no exception. Forget the gently whispering of sweet nothings in your truelove’s ear — this is where you don your leather, latex and lingerie for sweat-inducing dance and performances to the mayhem of

DJs Triskyl and Spider, caberet from Wolfling, pole dancing by Karol Helms, a full fetish marketplace and much more such debauchery.

So, dress that sweet thing up in latex and lick charge up the whip cream cannister. This ain’t no Hallmark card Valentine event. As the Blue Oyster Cult boys in black leather once growled (behind lots of cowbell, of course), “This ain’t the garden of Eden / There ain’t no angels above / And things ain’t like they used to be / And this ain’t the summer of love.”

When: Feb. 11, 8 p.m.-2 a.m.

Where: Amos’ Southend, 1423 S. Tryon St. More: $25-150. singlecell.us

CUDDLE YOU SO HARD VALENTINE’S BAR CRAWL One thing about CharlotteNightLife.com: There’s not a holiday or other special day in existence — be it Easter or Mardi Gras — that escapes their exploitation, and Valentine’s may be their most exploitable.

Got a boyfriend or girlfriend? They got you covered. Come along, get pissed together, and cuddle.

Don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend? That’s OK. Come along, get schnockered with other lonelyhearts, and find someone to cuddle.

Don’t want a boyfriend or girlfriend. Perfect.

Come along, get drunk alone in a crowd, and cuddle your own damn self.

Here’s what you get when you meet the other Valentine’s cuddlers at Flight on Feb. 11:

* A wristband * A cup * A koozie * A T-shirt * Raffle tickets * Parking validation With all that, you get to stumble around the city, from bar to bar, drinking and carousing, and get this: Arrive before 4 p.m. and you get discounts, too. (Disclaimer about the parking validation: If you’re driving there and planning to get pissed (which you are), please let somebody who’s not pissed drive you back home.)

When: Feb. 11, 3 p.m. - 2 a.m.

Where: Flight, 314 N College St. More: $10–$22. charlottenightlife.com.

LOVE IS THE ANSWER ART EXHIBITION EX-BOX PARTY This event is pretty severe. It’s kinda mean and nasty, actually. Not that all of us haven’t, at some point, felt like burning shit that reminds us of our ex’s after a particuarly uncomfortable breakup.

But jeez — going over to the Wild Wing Cafe and ritualistically burning something that reminds you of your ex? Guess it beats pulling a Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopes on homeboy’s fine mansion. (Remember that? It involved raging flames, NFL wide receiver Andre Rison, and the Atlanta Police Department. Google it.) This is not all that far removed, but at least it isn’t illegal.

So, if you’re feeling pissed at your former boo, pissed you don’t have anybody to spend Valentine’s Day with, or just pissed at life in general — head over to Wild Wing’s Ex-Box Party with her photo or his love letter or her J. Cole CD or his, well, Xbox, and set that sucker ablaze.

Then relax, you heartbroken fool. Somebody else will come along. It’ll be OK. There will be a live DJ, drink specials, and more.

The folks at the Wild Wing are calling it “closure.” We’re calling it psychotic.

When: Feb. 14, 9:30 p.m.

Where: Wild Wing Cafe, 9539 Pinnacle Dr. More: Cost of food and drinks. wildwingcafe. com

At a time that can be tough for anyone feeling a little unloved, take some time to ponder over a group of people that are all-too-often overlooked throughout the year.

Paper | Cut Gallery’s “Love Is The Answer,” will aim to tackle mental health issues by raising funds for the local chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness. While families suffer in silence, many mentally ill individuals don’t have anyone to turn to to deal with their unique challenges. The National Alliance on Mental Illness is a non-profit, grassroots, self-help support and advocacy organization of consumers, families and friends of people with severe mental illnesses that

CUPID’S UNDIE RUN If you’re not planning to get schnockered at the Cuddle You So Hard bar craw this weekend, why not strip down to your BVDs and run your buns off for charity?

That’s what Cupid’s Undie Race is all about. Vaguely tied to Valentine’s, this “brief run,” as the organizers so cleverly call it, also features plenty of party elements.

You will run, sure — ideally, in the (almost) raw — but only for about a mile, and you’ll also get to partake in an open bar. Sound like totally incompatiable activities? Hey, this is America. You won’t find much to do around these parts that doesn’t involve copious amounts of

JOHNSON BROTHERS 25TH VALENTINE’S DAY BASH If you’re mate-less and date-less and have nowhere to go this pre-Valentine’s weekend, why not turn Valentine’s into Take-Your-Sibling-Out Day? (You do love your sibling, don’t you?) The Johnson Brothers’ 25th Valentine’s Day Bash is the perfect sibling-bonding Valentine’s shindig.

Chris and Wes Johnson may not be as well known as that other area sibling act, the Avetts, but they’re every bit as much a mainstay of the local music scene. Wes has lent vocals to various projects, and Chris played fiddle with the gloriously ramshackle Americana outfit Cyclone Mac. But the Johnson bros’ main gig is Hardcore Lounge, featuring Wes’ eclectic songwriting, Chris’ multi-instrumental

looks to end the silence and soften the stigma that mental illness brings upon the people it affects.

In Charlotte, trained NAMI volunteers bring peer-led programs to a wide variety of community settings, from churches to schools to NAMI Affiliates.

With the unique understanding of people with lived experience, these programs and support groups provide outstanding free education, skills training and support. Check out some art from local artists — much of which focuses on love — and buy your signficicant other a gift for a good cause.

When: Gallery opening, Feb. 11, 7 p.m.; exhibit runs through Feb. 28.

Where: Paper | Cut Gallery, 1200 The Plaza More: Free. papercutgallery.com.

alcohol.

The money raised at the Cupid Undie Runs taking place all across the country goes to the Children’s Tumor Foundation, which is working for ways to end Neurofibromatosis — hence, the #EndNF hashtag.

“We encourage undies, but we get that it’s not for everyone,” organizers say on the Undie Run website. “So whether you start a team for your friends, join a team or run solo, just come out, have a blast and raise some money for NF research!”

When: Feb. 11, noon-4 p.m.

Where: Suite, 210 E. Trade St., Ste. 300-A More: $35. cupidsundierun.org.

chops, and the kind of fraternal harmonies that’ll make your lonely heart melt.

After a quarter-century of bountiful Valentine’s Day gigs, the Johnson brothers have enlisted another Charlotte mainstay to share the bill with this weekend: Alternative Champs, who are modest about their sound.

“The warmth of our music next to you feels like a pregnant lion giving you a slow tongue bath,” the Champs say in the show’s Facebook announcement, “and the experience of our live show will give you goose-bumps.”

Well, all right, then.

MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS-LIVE! Skimming lightly along the surface with all the depth of a Mork & Mindy episode, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From VenusLive! hijacks a 25-year-old self-help book and recasts it as a two-act stand-up comedy routine. If you’re straight, cis-gendered and of a certain age, the predictable topics may resonate with you and yours — how men can watch sports on TV all day, what women really mean when they say they have nothing to wear, and why men should shut up and listen while women complain instead of trying to fix everything.

The author of the original book, Peter Gray, appears on film to present animated segments, including a look at the ways males and females keep different scoring systems to determine how their relationships are faring. It’s hardly a gender studies lecture, but the glib and breezy show benefits from solid storytelling that threads through the brisk quips. Still, its premise — namely, that men and women approach life from different perspectives — could use an update in our era of shifting gender roles and identites. This Valentine’s event is for the traditional-minded.

When: Feb 10, 8 p.m.; Feb. 11, 4 p.m., 8 p.m.

Where: Booth Playhouse, 130 N Tryon St. More: $59 blumenthalarts.org

When: Feb. 11, 9 p.m.

Where: Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon Street.

More: $6 snugrock.com

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MISSED CONNECTIONS The Internet is a fun place

There is absolutely no need for you to be alone on Valentine’s Day if you really don’t want to be. A quick glimpse at craigslist shows there are folks looking for partners of all types, even someone who apparently still hasn’t found their elf from the holidays.

We pulled the following entries directly from the site — spelling and grammar untouched — just to show that whatever fetish you have, you should never be afraid to ask. (Well, with some you should.)

HI I’M A LOSER - M4W (BOONE)

age: 31 Hi I fucking suck at life and have lost nearly everything that is important to me. I live in a shitty trailor and drive my grandmothers car around. Recently I was kicked out of the gene pool by my wife probably because I get fatter and uglier every day! Anyone wanna hang?

MISTRESS FOR MY MAN - M4W

body: average status: married I’m looking for a playmate for my husband.

You must be ok with me watching and at times participating sexually. He doesn’t know I’m posting so I don’t want to disappoint him.

He is black 6’9 bald head with a nice package.

You must be sexy

NEED SOME BROKE STR8 GUYS M4M body: average height: 5’10” (177cm) age: 42 Looking for some hot young str8/boys with big sweaty feet. Very oral. Love taking care of guys. Hoping to find something long term.

Hmu guys

NEVER HAD A GOLDEN SHOWER - M OR W - M4W (ROCKHILL - PINEVILLE)

One item on my bucket list is to receive a golden shower from a man or a woman.

I want to get down on my knees, slide between your legs and let you give me you pee all over my chest and cock. This is a big fantasy for me. I would also like to pee on a man or woman too.

unsightly. We dont mind thick either. We would like to host. Love games and cartoons.

LATINA MAMI (CHARLOTTE) F4F

body: average age: 30 Hello ladies,I’m 30 years old Spanish women very girlie,I’m 5’9. I’m looking to meet a African America women that’s girlie too,it’s something about you girls that I like. Never been with a female but would love too,maybe start off as friends,go out have fun. I’m easy to get along with. I don’t like drama so don’t bring it to me.No Stud sorry.

SEEKING ELF.... - M4M (GREENSBORO) Holidays are near and I am very into guys who are “Elfish” - thin- cute- maybe nerdy- for hot holiday fun (and after the holidays too if we get on!) Elf costume not required- lol. Like youthful, slim guys legal to about 30. Be a good elf: discreet, clean, ddfree, fun.... do as Santa tells you....

SUPERHERO FETISH (GREENSBORO)

body: athletic height: 5’8” (172cm) status: single age: 50 Do you like Superheros? Do you enjoy the outragous costumes? The perfect bodies. the bondage predicaments they get into?

If you like all of this as much as I do, lets talk about it. Or maybe more.

GOOD LITTLE GIRL LOOKING FOR A PLAYMATE - W4W (CHARLOTTE)

age: 47 SWM, 47, looking for woman who is into, or curious about, diaper play. I know this isn’t for everyone, but if you enjoy it or have thought about it, please get int ouch and let’s talk. Clean, DDF and sane here. Looking for the same. Put “pampers” in the subject if you’re interested.

body: curvy height: 5’2” (157cm) status: partnered NC: North Carolina age: 25 I am in a bdsm relationship and would like to find another little to have play dates with. My daddy will be there sometimes but it will not be a sexual encounter. I just want someone to play with,watch cartoons,color etc. Body size is not an issue I am a bbw female. I prefer someone mixed, black, or Latina. I’m 26 so between the ages between 25 and 30.

COUPLE FOR VERSE TRANS LTR MW4T (CONCORD)

LOOKING 4 MY (SURROUNDING AREAS)

DIAPER PLAY? - M4W (BALLANTYNE AREA)

body: average height: 5’10” (177cm) status: married Couple looking for trans for fun or ltr. We are an average young couple interested in a m2f functional trans or cd.

We both are a little overweight but not

COUGAR

body: athletic height: 5’4” (162cm) status: single age: 24 Looking for older woman 35 and older. Must have Job, Car, and own place. I’m looking for someone to help me get to where I need to be.

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CROSSWORD

PAIR-A-PHRASING ACROSS

1 Music-licensing gp.

6 With greatest frequency 14 Light, in a way 20 River to Lake Geneva 21 Many kids’ art projects 22 “Any way is fine by me” 23 STARDOM WEALTH 25 “Bewitched” husband 26 F minor, e.g.

27 Albany hrs.

28 Abbr. on a pay stub 30 One of King Lear’s daughters 31 Most like Solomon 33 STRIKE DWELLING 39 “... boy — girl?”

40 Gambling place, briefly 42 Planted “pet” 43 “Für —” (Beethoven favorite) 44 HUDSON OCTET 48 “Peanuts” girl with glasses 52 Student’s dissertation 53 Country’s McEntire 56 Wyatt of the Old West 57 Hector 60 “Mona —” 63 Makes match up 66 Pasty luau fare 67 Skating rink shape 68 PERFORM ZERO 71 In a strict way 74 Bovine sound 75 Global divide 76 NEGATIVE LEVY 81 Tomb-raiding Croft 82 Suffix of pasta names 83 “A Bell for —” (classic novel) 84 Any minute 85 “Slim Shady” rapper 87 Blockhead 89 Half of Mork’s goodbye 91 Gradually withdrew 93 Antigen attackers 96 EMERALD JEALOUSY 102 Path in a jet 105 Miami- — (Florida county) 106 Wasted 107 Small battery size 108 GREATLY OFFING

113 Guevara’s commander 115 Of the hipbone 116 Prickly seedcase 117 Ark.-to-Ill. dir.

119 Mai — 120 Frolic 122 ALLOWED STATUTE 129 Verdi tragedy 130 Hold dear 131 Flared dress 132 Forwarded, as mail 133 Furry marine mammal 134 Encounters

DOWN

1 Terrier noise 2 One-named Latina singer 3 Approaches to attack 4 Keep — on (watch) 5 Pod spherule 6 What touts tabulate 7 Liquor bottle 8 Overly 9 Be incorrect 10 Met or Phillie rival 11 Avian runner 12 RCA rival 13 Fly of Kenya 14 Pot coverer 15 Reality TV celebrity fired by Donald three times 16 Cry from a member of an arriving group 17 Ship’s goods 18 Faith Hill’s “Take Me —” 19 Wife of Dick Cheney 24 Prickly plants 29 N.J. neighbor 31 Pan for stir-frying 32 Ex-froshes 34 Strands post-blizzard 35 Summer misery stat 36 Puff piece?

37 Actor Bert in a lion suit 38 Footballer Tebow 41 City transport 45 And others, in Latin 46 Grain storer 47 See 72-Down 49 El — (peak in California) 50 Mined find 51 Clever adage 54 Party abbr. about drinks

55 Append 57 Certain wind musician 58 Of flight technology 59 Music of Scott Joplin 61 Highway rig 62 Parts of nerve cells 64 — au vin 65 Good name for a chef?

68 Bob of folk 69 Country in West Africa 70 Silver — (photo lab compound) 72 With 47-Down, forensic tool 73 Kind of TV 77 A, in Aquila 78 Ding- — 79 Out-of- — (visitor) 80 De novo 85 Tempted 86 Maestro Zubin 88 Like nondefective DVDs 90 Pakistani’s language 92 Feel sickly 94 Capital of Nebraska 95 135 degrees from 117-Across 97 Nosh on 98 End of some URLs 99 Cole of song 100 “Iglu” for “igloo,” e.g.

101 7’6” Ming 103 R&D center 104 Bursts forth 108 Pep 109 Make thrilled 110 Country singer LeAnn 111 Brother, in Brest 112 Between, in Brest 114 Vogue topic 118 — -do-well 121 Boatload 123 Actor Stephen 124 — Zedong 125 Suffix with 124-Down 126 Boy pharaoh 127 “Whack!”

128 Craven of horror films

SOLUTION FOUND ON P. 38.

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ENDS

SAVAGE LOVE

WILBUR & RENSSELAER Savage questions left unanswered DAN SAVAGE

LAST WEEK, I spoke at the Wilbur Theater

in Boston and the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, New York. Audience members submitted their questions on tiny cards before the show, allowing them to remain anonymous while forcing them to be succinct. Here are some of the questions I didn’t have time to get to at both events. . .

My girlfriend wants to explore her sexuality with another woman but be “heterosexually exclusive” with me. She wants me to have equal freedom but doesn’t think it’s fair for me to be with another woman. I am a heterosexual man. How can we achieve sexual equality?

An open relationship for her but a closedon-a-technicality relationship for you? Yeah, no. Want to achieve sexual equality? Explore your sexuality with other women—as a single man.

I am a 50-year-old queer man who never really came out—except to people I’m cruising or fucking. Oh, and to my wife.

Is there any social or political value to coming out now, in the shadow of a Trump presidency?

There’s tremendous social and political value to being out, whoever the president is.

There’s also social and political risk, whoever the president is. If you’re in a position to come out—and you must be, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking—not coming out is a moral failing.

When I’ve tried to do the fuck buddy thing, I’ve gotten attached. Any way to

avoid that?

Only do the fuck buddy thing with Republicans.

I’m a 31-year-old straight female. I have an intermittent sexual relationship with a married polyamorous friend. Each time we hook up, he says he regrets it.

But several months later, he will contact me and we will hook up again. Should I say no? What do you think is up?

Your friend’s head is what’s up—up his own ass. Stop letting him stick his dick up yours.

(P.S. His regret has me wondering if his marriage is actually open or if he’s cheating on his wife. If you’ve never discussed their polyamorous arrangement with her, that probably what’s up.)

demand that pot activists and shop owners stay in the fight to demand that people convicted of possessing or selling pot in the past—primarily POC—get full pardons and restitution.

Please elaborate on your suggestion that an open relationship could save a marriage.

Here’s an example: married couple, together a long time, low-conflict relationship, good partners. Spouse #1 is done with sex—libido gone, no interest in taking steps to restore it—but Spouse #2 isn’t done with sex. This can play out two ways: (1) Spouse #1 insists on keeping the marriage closed, and Spouse #2 opts for divorce over celibacy. (2) Spouse #1 allows for outside contact—they open the marriage up—and monogamy is sacrificed but the marriage is saved.

Why are liberals okay with people self-identifying their gender but not their race? Aren’t How do you get over both considered social the guilt of being a constructs? straight guy? I used “If race and gender are both to feel a lot of sexual social constructs,” Evan shame from hearing Urquhart writes at Slate, that men are pigs all “and if both have been the time. I got over built around observable most of it, but I still biological traits, then what have leftover shame. is the crucial difference that DAN SAVAGE I want to be respectful makes a felt gender identity a of women without having true one, but a felt racial identity to take responsibility for fraudulent? The short answer is the actions of every asshole that most trans people and their allies straight man out there. suspect that transgender people are born As a gay man, I’m not responsible for the that way.” (Google “Evan Urquhart,” “trans,” actions of Roy Cohn, Jeffrey Dahmer, and and “race” to read the rest of his essay.)

Peter Thiel. Likewise, I deserve no credit for the accomplishments of Michelangelo, Alan We just legalized weed here in Turing, and Stephen Sondheim. When you Massachusetts! Yay! How can I, as a feel the shame and guilt welling up, all you consumer but industry outsider, help can do is remind yourself that you’re not to ensure more diversity in the legal responsible for the piggishness of Donald selling business?

Trump or the awesomeness of Chris Kluwe.

Before the shops open, get in the face of (And just to complicate things: While most your elected officials to make sure licenses straight women hate straight male pigs, most are made available to pot entrepreneurs of straight women want their men to be pigs— color. Once legal weed shops are open, go out but only now and then, and only for them. A of your way to patronize pot shops owned dash of controlled/vestigial piggishness is a by people of color and insist all legal weed desirable trait, not a disqualifying one.) shops employ people of color and pay a living wage. And once the profits start rolling in,

What’s the healthiest way to address jealousy in a relationship with a jealous and confrontational partner?

The healthiest thing would be for your jealous and confrontational partner to address their issues with a therapist after you’ve dumped them.

Fuck, marry, kill: Donald Trump, Rick Santorum, Mike Pence.

Fuck everything, call off the wedding, kill myself.

I see you’ve resurrected your ITMFA campaign. (Bragging rights: I got the Mass license plate ITMFA. The DMV tried to take it back when someone complained, and the ACLU won the case for me! I removed the plate, of course, after Obama won.) My question: If Trump is removed from office—if we “impeach the motherfucker already” —w e’ll have Mike Pence. Do you really think he’d be any better?

We already have Mike Pence. And Pence, as awful as he is, oscillates within a predictable band of Republican awfulness. With a President Pence, we’ll get shitty Supreme Court nominees, attacks on queers and people of color, and fiscal mismanagement.

With President Trump, we get all that plus war with Mexico and Australia. And you don’t have to remove your ITMFA buttons once Trump is removed from office—keep ’em on until Pence is impeached, too.

Speaking of impeachment: Four in 10 Americans support impeaching Trump.

Nixon didn’t hit that number until 18 months into the Watergate scandal. And speaking of my ITMFA campaign: We’ve already raised $100,000 at ITMFA.org, with all proceeds going to the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and the International Refugee Assistance Project.

Get your ITMFA hats, buttons, and T-shirts at ITMFA.org! (Coming soon: coffee mugs and stickers!)

On the Lovecast, Dan chats with polyamory luminary Cunning Minx: savagelovecast.com; mail@savagelove.net; follow @fakedansavage on Twitter.

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FOR ALL SIGNS We have entered an eclipse “season” in which the Leo full moon eclipse of Feb. 10 is followed by a new moon eclipse in Pisces (Feb. 26). This year is loaded with tense and potentially explosive aspects. The Leo eclipse this week is in the sign of Kings, punctuating those tensions with an extra smack that has already begun and will likely continue through the year. Truths become apparent and houses built of cards are staggering toward a fall.

That includes global, national, regional and personal arenas. Even those who have built their houses of bricks will feel the brunt through others in their lives. Hold in mind that the things that collapse have become flawed. Because humans do not take action except in discomfort, this is what we get for our lassitude. Crises, while scary at the time, bring transformation for the good. The emphasis is different, depending upon your sun and your ascending signs. See below.

ARIES The new eclipse season will be opening your mind and heart to accept a larger circle of friends. You may become a leader or a strong supporter of a community network which has shared ideals. Certainly you will continue to have the friendships you have built in the past. However, your attention may be focused on other goals.

TAURUS The full moon side of this eclipse season may bring fresh news to light about someone in the family. For example, a pregnancy is announced. The new moon calls upon you to take steps toward beginning something new in your career, even if it feels like a risk. Start your research.

GEMINI The full moon brings to light

whatever you need to know about relationships to siblings, roommates, neighbors. It also may bring attention to your vehicle in some way. A weird noise becomes a breakdown, for example. Meanwhile the new moon encourages new starts related to higher education, publishing, travel, and spiritual pursuits.

CANCER The full moon eclipse emphasizes

WE ALL REFUSE TO WEAR SOCKS. CLCLT.COM

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your financial circumstances and shines a light on your resources. This may include your skills, your abilities, and your sense of self worth. The new moon eclipse encourages you to learn more about the world of financial business and resources you share with others, i.e. spouse’s income.

LEO The full moon eclipse may have brought you to the point of becoming firm about who you are and who you are not. An issue of identity and declaration of self is at hand. The new moon eclipse represents your inherent need to attend to relationships. Your partner may be starting something that affects both your lives.

VIRGO On this eclipsed full moon you

may discover or reveal one or more secrets.

Dreams and intuition are very strong.

Issues of mental health are emphasized. The strength of the interplay between physical and emotional health is apparent. You likely will vow to change health habits that are destructive.

LIBRA The results of contributions you have

made to your community become apparent.

“Your community” may include organizations to which you belong, your friends, and various connections you have made along the way. A new beginning occurs in the arena of romance or life with children, the territory of play.

SCORPIO The full moon eclipse shines

brightly in your career or the way in which you contribute to the world. You may see the results of good works and/or the results of failure to produce. Meanwhile something deep within is searching for a sense of internal security. You may get in touch with family that you haven’t seen or spoken to for a long time.

SAGITTARIUS The outcome of legal, travel,

educational and publishing interests become apparent in this eclipse season. Your work and preparation in any of these areas may be on display. Meanwhile fresh circumstances are beginning related to siblings, neighbors, roommates, or your next vehicle.

CAPRICORN The outcome of your

management of any joint resources becomes obvious. That may include issues of debt, partner’s income, insurance or stock holdings.

Intimacy shared between you and partner becomes a topic. The condition of each of these things becomes reflected in your sense of self-worth and your desire to improve in the future.

AQUARIUS THE WATERBEARER (Jan.

19 – Feb. 18) The activities of your partner are on display. You must recognize and respect his/her moment in the sun. Meanwhile new seeds inside of you are just sprouting that eventually will become a change in your sense of identity. You would be astounded if someone told you what that would be.

PISCES Circumstances at work may be in

a state of flux, otherwise called a “zoo.” The state of your health is prominent. Good or bad depends upon how you have been caring for yourself. A new seed is planted in your unconscious that will begin to develop slowly into materialization in your life.

Want a personal horoscope? Hit up Vivian Carol at 704-366-3777 or go to www. horoscopesbyvivian.com.

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