2018 Issue 15 Creative Loafing Charlotte

CLCLT.COM | MAY 31 - JUNE 6, 2018 VOL. 32, NO. 15

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PHOTO COURTESY OF TOM SEGURA

Tom Segura has sold out a slew of shows that begin on May 31 at Comedy Zone, but that’s what the internet was made for.

We put out weekly 10

NEWS&CULTURE ANOTHER BOARD, ANOTHER EMPTY PROMISE? N.C.’s

Department of Environmental Quality isn’t fooling anyone

BY RHIANNON FIONN

16

13 THE BLOTTER BY SOPHIE WHISNANT 15 NEWS OF THE WEIRD

FOOD&DRINK DANDELION DON’T TELL NO LIES Mix bitterness with pleasure in a concoction that will make you wise

BY ARI LEVAUX

20 22

TOP 10 THINGS TO DO THIS WEEK

MUSIC ES EL RITMO Orquesta Mayor, Charlotte’s premier salsa band, releases

debut LP

BY GREY REVELL 23 MUSIC NEWS: C+C MUSIC FACTORY’S FREEDOM WILLIAMS SURPRISES CHARLOTTE RAPPER BY MARK KEMP 26 SOUNDBOARD

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ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT PLAZA MIDWOOD MURAL TOUR A look at some of the most prolific

paintings on the streets of P.M.

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BY RYAN PITKIN

THE LIGHT RAIL PATIO TRAIL Boozing on a Budget hits the Blue Line

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ODDS&ENDS 34 NIGHTLIFE BY AERIN SPRUILL 35 CROSSWORD 36 SAVAGE LOVE BY DAN SAVAGE 38 SALOME’S STARS

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Some residents living near Duke Energy’s Allen Steam Station in Belmont have lived on bottled water for years.

NEWS

PHOTO COURTESY OF CATAWBA RIVERKEEPER FOUNDATION

FEATURE

ANOTHER BOARD, ANOTHER EMPTY PROMISE? N.C.’s Department of Environmental Quality isn’t fooling anyone

BY RHIANNON FIONN

A

BOUT A MONTH AGO, the North Carolina Department of Environmental Quality made an announcement during a ceremony at its Raleigh office, hauling in well-meaning environmental justice advocates from around the state to help announce a newly formed environmental justice board while posing for a photo op. And then the shit hit the fan.

Kinda.

The DEQ press release read: “The scope 10 | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

of the Environmental Justice and Equity Advisory Board is to assist the Department in achieving and maintaining the fair and equal treatment and meaningful involvement of North Carolinians regardless of where they live, their race, religion or income with respect to the development, implementation, and enforcement of environmental laws, regulations, and policies.”

DEQ spokesperson Megan Thorpe said the new EJEA board is the brainchild of DEQ Secretary Michael Regan.

“Environmental justice is an issue that has long been a part of Secretary Regan’s career,” Thorpe said. “When he returned home to North Carolina after working on environmental justice issues at the EPA and the Environmental Defense Fund, he saw a real need.

“Since his appointment to Gov. Cooper’s cabinet as secretary of the Department of Environmental Quality, he has made seeking out strong advisors like those on the board a priority,” Thorpe said.

So, we have another board. We must have thousands of boards and committees and whatnot dangling from every level of government in this state — so many that it’s become a joke among those paying attention, because everyone knows boards have little, if any power. Nonetheless, after a year and a half in office, Regan has a hand-selected board to do … what exactly?

That remains to be seen. At present, the board doesn’t have a mandate and there are no follow-up meetings scheduled, though

Members of the Alliance for Carolinians Together Against Coal Ash gather near Allen Steam Station.

PHOTO COURTESY OF CATAWBA RIVERKEEPER FOUNDATION

“ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEMS CAN FREQUENTLY AFFECT MINORITY AND LOW-INCOME COMMUNITIES WHO MAY NOT HAVE THE POLITICAL CLOUT TO FIGHT IT.” STEVE COPULSKY, SIERRA CLUB NORTH CAROLINA board members agreed to meet four times a year. According to Thorpe, everything else is up to the board — its mission, its schedule, everything. Basically, the board’s job is to advise Regan, and that is all.

Still, said Steve Copulsky, chair of the Sierra Club’s North Carolina chapter, “We’re optimistic about it. Environmental problems can frequently affect minority and lowincome communities who may not have the political clout to fight it.

“Statewide there are a lot of issues,” Copulsky said, pointing out that residents living near some of Duke Energy’s coal ash waste impoundments are still managing life with bottled water roughly three years after DEQ warned them not to drink their well water due to heavy metal contamination.

For what it’s worth, the board member from Charlotte is more than qualified and already well known for standing up for causes he believes in. Rev. Rodney Sadler’s views on social and environmental justice are clear; you are as likely to find him at a protest following a police shooting as you are to find him preaching about the benefits of renewable energy.

Sadler, a Presbyterian minister, is a former director at the Office of Black Church Studies at Duke University Divinity School and a former assistant project director at Congress of National Black Churches. He is an

associate professor of Biblical Studies at Union Presbyterian Seminary and the vice chair of the Charlotte Clergy Coalition for Justice, perhaps better known as the “pastors at protests.” Said Copulsky, “Rev. Sadler is a great choice.”

Regarding his new position on Regan’s board, Sadler said, “I hope we can shape decisions and begin to form policy at the grassroots level that influences the highest levels of government in North Carolina.”

He added that he wouldn’t be involved if he thought the board wasn’t going to accomplish anything. “I really don’t need busy work that will be non-productive,” he said.

Sadler said he is ready to listen to citizens: “I want them to tell us, ‘This is how we are impacted’ by … the two pipelines on our plate, climate change and renewable energy. All of those issues are on our radar.”

But then, on May 15, before the board could collectively blink, let alone get any work done, a group of North Carolinians filed a federal civil rights complaint against DEQ — a Title VI complaint with the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s External Civil Rights Compliance Office. The complaint involved the Atlantic Coast Pipeline, a Dominion Energy project that will stretch from West Virginia to North Carolina.

“The Environmental Justice Groups, community groups and their allies, brought a

Title VI complaint against the state agencies for issuing the permits allowing the ACP to proceed,” attorney John Runkle said. “Many of the families along the route felt cheated in that agencies did not follow laws requiring them to consider the impacts of the pipeline, its blast zone, and evacuation zone on AfricanAmerican and Native American communities and on low-income communities. The communities will have all the problems and a private company makes big profits.”

When asked for his thoughts on DEQ’s new board, Runkle said, “I would let the new EJ Board know that state agency decisions deeply affect the lives of families along the proposed route. The board’s responsibility should be to give a voice to those who don’t have power.”

Addressing Runkle’s complaint, Thorpe said, “DEQ conducted an extensive public outreach in communities along the ACP route. The public input we received allowed us to strengthen our decisions within the scope of our authority.”

Then, as if responding directly to Runkle’s comment above, DEQ scheduled important community meetings regarding the coal ash issue.

However, the department did so in such a way that induced members of the Alliance for Carolinians Together (ACT) Against Coal Ash to issue a public letter announcing that it would be boycotting the meetings, taking issue

with meeting locations and the department’s apparent lack of outreach to advertise them.

The letter reads, in part, “We appreciate your attempt to hear from impacted community members … we agree that hearing voices from our impacted communities is necessary for DEQ to determine the proper handling of Duke Energy’s toxic coal ash waste. However, it is unacceptable that the agency failed to ensure that community members were fully aware of these important meetings. Additionally, choosing a meeting place for the Belews Creek and Buck Steam Station meeting that’s 45 minutes outside of both communities — an hour after community members get off work — is likewise unacceptable.”

ACT’s press release explains that the group had met with DEQ officials in March and at that time, “… one of their concerns was inadequate noticing of a public comment meeting about the rule,” said Ridge Graham, Appalachian Voices’ North Carolina field coordinator. “Several layers into DEQ’s website is a page including public notices apparently signed on April 20 for the two meetings. None of the citizens and concerned groups who track these issues carefully saw the notices on the website until late last week. Further, community members say they received no emails or mailed letters from DEQ, despite the fact that the agency has their contact information, nor did they see any notices published in local papers.”

Deborah Graham, who lives near the Buck plant, said DEQ needs to think about the people it is targeting.

“The people who are truly affected are older, they don’t have internet, they don’t get notices, there’s nothing in our local paper or on local TV about this hearing,” she said.

“It feels like they don’t want public input.”

DEQ did not respond to a request for comment on the meeting boycott.

It’s been a couple years, but it’s worth mentioning that Duke Energy’s Belews Creek coal ash attracted the attention of the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights. During a hearing with that federal commission, where DEQ staff vowed to consider environmental justice issues in its decisions going forward, USCCR chair Martin Castro, said, “There’s something wrong with the system, and we need to figure out how we can change that system.

So what we’re promising you is that we’re going to come up with some strong findings and recommendations and then we are going to advocate for them. So you will have an advocate, not only here but in Washington.”

The USCCR issued its report for Congress and then-President Obama months before the end of his second term and found that, indeed, environmental justice is a major concern across the country, including in Belews Creek. It also found that the EPA’s Civil Rights division is not doing its job and that, basically, these issues are left to fester.

And that’s it. The commission moved on, the administration changed and now the Trump EPA is moving to roll back its coal-ash rule among many other Obama-era environmental regulations. So that Title VI complaint? Don’t hold your breath.

As far as how effective DEQ’s Environmental Justice and Equity Advisory Board will be, only time will tell. If nothing else, at least it has Rev. Sadler to help steer the ship.

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LOVES CHILDREN

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NEWS

BLOTTER

BY SOPHIE WHISNANT

DOGGONE IT As a kid you might have

had a parent threaten to take your pet dog for a “long ride in the country” after they shit on the rug or peed on the stove. That’s essentially what one Charlotte resident attempted, but failed, to do when they let their pet roam free then got upset that someone returned it. The victim in this case told police she was running through her north Charlotte neighborhood when she spotted her neighbor’s dog alone in the middle of the road. Doing what seemed like the right thing, the jogger took the dog back to its owner. That’s when the owner threatened the woman in a way that sent her straight to the police, afraid for her safety.

Also surely scared is the pet dog, who could not be reached for comment.

BULLIES IN TECH Good Samaritans were not the only people under attack in Charlotte this week. One teenager also received a threat through FaceTime, a video chat service in iPhones for those living under a rock. The young victim’s father reported to the police that while his son was on the school bus, he received a call from the suspect who said, “Say one more thing about my son and I’m gone get on the bus and beat you and your daddy ass.”

SHARPSHOOTER In the midst of the public debate over gun control, there is always one local imbecile who reminds us that humans cannot be trusted with these things. A local man was cleaning his handgun in his bedroom when he accidentally fired it, sending a bullet through his own hand and foot. He immediately went to the hospital where staffers could treat the injuries, although he nearly died of embarrassment.

Time will tell if the man survives the bullet driven right through his ego.

BARNEY FIFE In an unrelated incident, a 17-year-old boy was forced to walk back his story after telling police he was shot during a recent robbery. The “victim” originally told police that he was robbed while walking down Old Pineville Road, and that the suspect shot him in the left leg during the robbery. He later recanted his statement and admitted that he had accidentally shot himself. Police seized the only two live rounds the boy had left, so as not to any more damage to himself or others, be it through gunshots or false accusations.

YANKEE CANDLE Ahh, the sweet smells of summer. We are entering the season of cookouts, sunscreen and fresh cut grass, but one Charlotte resident had to experience a different kind of summer smell. Officers responded at about 4 p.m. when a 52-yearold woman reported that a known suspect set a bag of trash on fire and left it on the front step of her west Charlotte home.

LIGHT OF YOUR LIFE Sometimes in a marriage, the flame has gone out and there’s no getting it back. Other times, a spouse simply steals your flame and you have to turn to police. The latter happened in northeast Charlotte last week when a woman filed a police report for theft, claiming that her husband of all people broke into her unlocked car and stole a Zippo lighter that was shaped like a bullet and cost $20.

GOOD EXAMPLE Nothing gets blood boiling faster than bad traffic. This was the case for two drivers who had at it last week as they drove down North Tryon Street.

According to the victim, the suspect was inching into her lane, so she sped up to avoid hitting. The suspect says that the victim was keeping him from changing lanes on purpose. When the two cars met at a traffic light, the suspect says he asked the victim what her problem was while the victim claims the suspect threatened to run into her vehicle and kill her. A classic he said, she said situation. The only passenger surprised by the interaction was the suspect’s 3-yearold daughter in the backseat. It’s true what they say; you’re never too young to learn that daddy’s kind of a dick.

GOOD EXAMPLE II On the same day as the above-mentioned incident, more children were subjected to a display of road rage and failure to adult, and a child was even physically assaulted during the resulting altercation. The incident happened at Highland Creek Elementary School at about 7:45 a.m., when two drivers got into a verbal argument in the parking lot resulting from road rage. According to the report, a 13-year-old boy stepped between the 38-year-old man and 32-year old woman as they screamed at each other, but rather than realize that they were being parented by a young teen, the two continued to argue and then began shoving, ultimately pushing the boy down to the ground in their rage. He was not injured, but the parents should be.

RABBIT HOLE Once again, Craigslist

proves disappointing. A suspect posted an ad for a 2008 Audi Turbo 2.5L, and when a man expressed interest last week, the suspect asked that he pay in eBay gift cards. The man then followed a trap that led him to suspect number two, who pretended to be with buyer protection and promised the sale was legit.

After the man gave away the info for $3,000 worth of eBay cards to the suspect, he heard from the sellers only one more time when they asked for more money. Now, the suspects have become unreachable. New Blotter scam lesson: If the potential scammer gives you the buyer protection number to call, that doesn’t make it the right number to call.

All stories are pulled from police reports at CMPD headquarters. Suspects are innocent until proven guilty.

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NEWS

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

THE NAKED TRUTH Letitia Chai, Cornell University class of 2018, arrived at her “Acting in Public: Performance in Everyday Life” class on May 2 ready to present a trial run of her senior thesis wearing a button-down shirt and cutoff denim shorts.

Professor Rebekah Maggor was displeased, however, and asked Chai, “Is that really what you would wear?” She referred specifically to Chai’s “too short” shorts and told Chai that her clothing choices would distract “men’s attention” from the content of her presentation. Chai left the room, but soon returned wearing just her bra and panties and delivered the entirety of her presentation.

On May 5, she returned to the classroom to officially present her thesis and stripped down again, with more than two dozen others in the room joining her in bras and panties or boxers. Chai posted on Facebook about the incidents, telling The Cornell Daily Sun she wanted to raise awareness about this “huge societal issue.”

TRY THE DECAF In Hudson, Florida, Brandon Donald McCray, 47, came unglued on May 1 after discovering two of his socks missing. When suspicion fell on his roommate, Frank Smith, 53, McCray attacked him with a sword, according to WTVT. The attack continued as McCray also struck and injured two women living at the home. Pasco County Sheriff’s deputies said Smith nearly lost several fingers trying to defend himself. Deputies arrested McCray at a neighbor’s house on charges of attempted homicide and battery.

CLICHE COMES TO LIFE Dimitri

the Husky can thank a Good Samaritan for reporting that someone was abusing a dog in Lantana, Florida, on May 10. Palm Beach County Sheriff’s officers arrived at the apartment home of Patrick Shurod Campbell, 27, where two roommates said Campbell “beat the hell” out of Dimitri, the Palm Beach Post reported. Officers found the 2-year-old dog locked in a dark closet, shaking and submissive, with a bloody ear.

Campbell told police he had bitten the dog to “establish dominance.” Campbell was charged with aggravated animal cruelty; Dimitri was turned over to Palm Beach County Animal Care and Control for treatment and rehoming.

IT’S GOOD TO BE A MILLENNIAL As

finals were ramping up at the University of Utah at the end of April, one student’s class project went viral: Senior Nemo Miller created a stand-alone closet, placed in the J. Willard Marriott Library, where stressed-out students could go for a good cry. KSL TV reported The Cry Closet (#cryclosetuofu) caught on quickly; even with a suggested 10-minute limit, @Gemini tweeted, “I stayed

11 mins but feel so much better thank you to whoever built this. Can we add a box of tissues please?” Miller filled the closet with stuffed animals and soft materials. “I think everyone just needs a safe space sometimes,” she said, “even if it’s in a very public place.”

MAKE ART GREAT AGAIN! A French

museum dedicated to the work of painter Etienne Terrus announced April 27 that more than half of its collection from the 19th-century artist are forgeries. The Terrus museum in Elne, where Terrus was born, gathered a group of experts to inspect the works after a visiting art historian noticed some of the paintings depict buildings that were not constructed until after Terrus’ death. In all, 82 paintings were determined to be fake. BBC News reported that the town’s mayor, Yves Barniol, called the situation “a disaster” and apologized to museum visitors.

HIGH ON THE HOG On Yaji Mountain in China, hog farmers are experimenting with high-rise hog breeding facilities that house 1,000 head of sows per floor. Xu Jiajing, manager of Guangxi Yangxiang Co. Ltd., told Reuters the “hog hotels” save “energy and resources. The land area is not that much, but you can raise a lot of pigs.” The buildings range from seven floors to 13, with elevators to move people and pigs, and air circulation and waste management systems designed to reduce the risk of spreading disease.

ARMED AND CLUMSY Fort Dodge,

Iowa, may not exactly be the Wild West, but tell that to Balew, the pit bull-lab mix belonging to 51-year-old Richard Remme.

As Remme and Balew roughhoused at home on May 9, Balew bounded back up onto the couch, where, according to The Messenger, he managed to shoot his owner in the leg. “I carry in a belly band, under my bib overalls,” Remme told the newspaper. “And apparently he bumped the safety one time, and when he bounded back over one of his toes went right down into the trigger guard,” he explained.

Remme didn’t realize he’d been shot until his pant leg started to turn purple. Balew, however, “thought he was in trouble for doing something wrong,” Remme said. He “laid down beside me and cried.”

BRIGHT IDEA The grandmother of a

7-year-old girl in Marietta, Georgia, became alarmed May 7 when a stranger started following her and the little girl around a Kroger store. WXIA-TV reported that Einodd Samimi had earlier approached the grandmother at a nearby Walmart and asked if he could “have” her granddaughter for $100. He upped the ante at Kroger, offering to purchase her for $200 and commenting on the little girl’s pretty hair. The grandmother confronted Samimi, drawing a large crowd of shoppers who chased him through the

store and to his car. Police arrested Samimi at his home on charges of enticing a child and criminal solicitation.

COUGAR In the Indian village of Upparahal,

a mother dying of an unknown condition feared that her husband, whom neighbors say is an alcoholic, would neglect her 13-yearold son and their other children. To ensure there would be an adult woman in the family capable of performing domestic chores, she married the teenager to a 23-year-old woman on April 27. However, according to the local tahsildar, or tax collector, Srinivasa Rao, “The marriage will be canceled as it is not valid as per law.” Metro News reports that both the bride’s and groom’s families have disappeared since the wedding became public.

PEOPLE WITH ISSUES Police in Loerrach, Germany, responded May 14 to complaints about a domestic disturbance after a neighbor reported a loud confrontation that had been going on for some time. But when they arrived, they found a 22-year-old man arguing with his girlfriend’s parrot, according to Metro News. The parrot had been barking like a dog, and the man became annoyed with it. No charges were filed.

LOVE IN THE DRIVE-THRU @BurgerKing

was looking for love in all the right places on May 9 when workers changed a Boston location’s sign to read: “@Wendys ... Prom?” and posted a picture to Twitter. United Press International reported that it took less than an hour for the red-headed fast-food heartthrob, just a few doors down, to respond:

“OK, but don’t get handsy and we have to be home by 10.” In a classic love triangle, @ MoonPie expressed his disappointment: “I knew I should’ve asked sooner.”

OOPS! On May 1, as airmen of the 91st

Missile Wing Security Forces traversed the gravel back roads of North Dakota between two of the nuclear missile launch sites they are charged with protecting, the back hatch of their truck fell open, allowing a 42-pound metal box of explosive grenade rounds to fall out. Despite deploying more than 100 airmen to walk the entire 6-mile route the team had driven, The Washington Post reported on May 15, the ammunition still hadn’t been found.

The Air Force’s Office of Special Investigations has offered a $5,000 reward for information leading to the recovery of the box and has alerted local farmers and oil field vendors in the area that the box could be dangerous if damaged.

ANIMAL ANTICS In Lodi, California, a

small black cat took up residence on May 11 on a high ledge near the large outdoor sign of a Chili’s restaurant and thwarted attempts by management, who self-identified as “cat people,” to be rescued. As customers took pictures, Restaurant Cat, as it came to be known, stared down calmly, KTXL TV reported. But when Chili’s employees used a ladder to try to reach it, the cat climbed behind the neon chili pepper and wouldn’t come out, so they left food and water. Presumably it’s keeping the pigeons away.

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FOOD

FEATURE

DANDELION DON’T TELL NO LIES Mix bitterness with pleasure in a concoction that will make you wise

BY ARI LEVAUX

W

E ARE BORN into this world loving dandelions. We grow up playing with them, blowing seed heads and rubbing the yellow flowers on our faces.

Our country was born loving dandelions, the pilgrims having brought them over intentionally on the Mayflower, presumably as an easy source of nutrition but also perhaps for its medicinal value as a digestive aid, blood thinner and many other uses.

Somewhere along most of our personal journeys, the grownups manage to convince us that dandelions are actually bad, not good, because of what they do to the grass monocultures that most Americans cultivate instead of food.

My wife is the outlier who would have me veer the lawnmower around a dandelion, which are like the sacred cows of our yard.

But unlike most people who worship sacred cows, she eats the object of her reverence.

In fact, she’s got the whole family doing it, which is no mean feat. Human beings may be born with an appreciation for the aesthetics of dandelions, but not so much for the flavor.

You could say it takes work to overcome that bitter hump, but it’s really a matter of appreciating the benefits and associating them with those bitter flavors, as I’ve managed to do with bitter foods like beer, chocolate, coffee and other bitter foods that make me feel good.

I try to pay as much attention to how something makes me feel afterwards as I do to how it tastes, and dandelions make me feel good. So it isn’t surprising to learn they are full of nutrients like carotenes, antioxidants, calcium and vitamin A. The secret to eating dandelions is a decadent sauce.

The entire plant is edible, from the tip of its tenacious taproot to the bright yellow pollen in the blossom. While bitter is the dominant flavor throughout, there is complexity as well. The flowers have an aromatic flavor that has been likened to banana or licorice.

Some dairy farmer friends of mine say that their butter becomes noticeably more yellow after the dandelion flowers appear in spring.

When you drop a dandelion in butter, 16 | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

dandelion-tinted or not, some magical stuff happens. The flower waves its petals for a few minutes like a dying creature, and slowly browns, absorbing butter, shrinking down to a crispy nub that tastes like artichoke with a faint, intriguing note of bitterness.

There are two basic approaches to dandelion eating: bury the bitter flavor, or work with it. Either way, a rich sauce is involved.

Most examples of burying involve cooking, while the more daring approaches leave the plant raw. My family consumes bitter greens with a salad dressing of olive oil (2 part) soy sauce (1 part) and mixed vinegars (balsamic, cider, white, lime)(1 part).

But for many of us, the right sauce may be that into which we dip our batter-fried dandelion blossoms. Or perhaps it is the bitter beverage that washes down this most spongy of beer sponges.

The only food I like deep-fried is seafood, which is why I batter my dandelions with a hint of the ocean. I hit the supermarket for a box of Tony Chachere’s seasoned Creole fish fry mix, which contains a mix of corn flour and corn meal, in addition to seasonings.

The checkout guys were excited about my dandelion plans.

The cashier told me he likes making dandelion leaf tea with cinnamon. The bagger said it’s crazy people hate them because they are an important source of nectar for bees at times when no other flowers are open.

“Sometimes dandelions are, like, the only option.”

At home, I made an egg wash so the batter would stick to the dandelion flowers.

It contains one beaten egg with a splash of cream, a shake of garlic powder, a few drops of fish sauce and a teaspoon of oyster sauce.

Oil from a jar of anchovies would work too. I dumped the Creole corn coating in a pan, and went outside for some dandelions.

It was sunset time, and the sky was beautiful. My wife was in the garden, and all of the dandelion flowers were gone. Every single one. I assumed she was responsible, but she informed me that dandelion flowers close up at night, so I needed to look a little more closely.

Sure enough, there they were, tight buds, pointing straight up, with tufts of yellow poking out the tips. I plucked them in my socks reaching in from outside the garden.

To deep fry open or closed flowers, first wash them and let them dry. Drop the blossoms in the egg wash, pull them out one at a time and roll each flower in the breading.

Heat an inch of olive oil to 300 degrees, and drop the flowers in. Cook until they are golden brown all around. Remove and drain.

They really do taste like little animals, like insects would taste if insects tasted good. I ate them as fast as I usually eat fried calamari, dipped in a sauce of mayo mixed with salsa.

Another approach to eating dandelions is to just eat the yellow petals. If you pinch and squeeze the sepal area behind the petals, you can work them out.

They can be added raw to anything, from salad to sushi to pancakes. They make a striking garnish for a soup, and the way they dress up rice is perhaps my favorite way to eat dandelion flowers.

Tossing those bright stamen into the grains of jasmine or basmati rice is kind of like a poor-man’s saffron rice, with a similar pollen-y glow. Whole dandelion buds, raw or cooked, can be added to any dish at virtually any point, as can the leaves, typically chopped.

Topped with some crumbled nori sheets, soy sauce, sesame oil and hot sauce, the bitter dandelion flavors disappear into a symphony of other strong, wonderful notes.

My wife’s favorite cooked dish is dandelion leaf mashed potatoes. The bitter power of the dandelion can give pizzaz to the bland, and balance any strong flavor, be it spicy, sweet, salty or fatty, and even more bitter.

The key is to get yourself some dandelion parts from a young plant that hasn’t been sprayed by the nozzle of a pesticide applicator or territorial animal.

This can be a challenge in the city, but if you understand the habits of dogs it’s possible to find pristine specimens in public spaces — including some tasty shade-dwelling varieties — throughout the summer.

They are free, they are handy, and frankly, they are pretty dandy.

NOW HIRING INTERNS. THE BRIGHTER, THE BETTER. EMAIL BACKTALK@CLCLT.COM

BACKTALK@CLCLT.COM

CLCLT.COM | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | 17

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THURSDAY

31

THE MAKING OF BLACK ON BLACK CRIME What: This forum will separate facts from fiction while answering the question: What is black-onblack crime? The event features speakers like Gemini Boyd, who was sentenced to prison at 16 and returned after serving more than 20 years to launch the nonprofit Building Outstanding Lives Together, and Kristie Puckett, a counselor with Charlotte domestic violence organization IMPACT. When: 6:30 p.m.

Where: Little Rock A.M.E. Zion Community Center, 401 N. McDowell St. More: Free. tinyurl.com/BlackOnBlackCLT

‘ 20 | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

THINGS TO DO

TOP TEN

Skating Polly WEDNESDAY

PHOTO COURTESY OF SKATING POLLY

THURSDAY

THURSDAY

31

31

FRIDAY

1

JUSTIN TOWNES EARLE

TOM SEGURA

CONCAROLINAS 2018

What: As the son of protest country-folk singer Steve Earle, you’d imagine music was an easy career path for Justin. But it’s been anything but, due to battles with addiction and tension with his record labels. Earle comes to Charlotte sober and newly married, touring his 2017 album Kids in the Street, a more uplifting record than his past work. Following in his dad’s footsteps, Earle uses his twang to keep the ever-changing pop-influenced Americana genre rooted in the South.

What: True comedy heads have known about Segura’s work for years, but newcomers are becoming fans due to the success of Netflix specials like Completely Normal, Mostly Stories and Disgraceful, which was so outrageous it prompted a campaign from less open-minded folks to take it off the site. Segura also co-hosts the podcast Your Mom’s House with wife Christina Pazsitzky. His slate of local shows is sold out, but fans will find a way.

What: Let your inner geek out this weekend at the ConCarolinas, a scifi convention that has everything a comics fan could want. Get in on the prevailing zeitgeist with a forum on the Marvel cinematic universe, or a panel discussion titled “I’m Dating an Android!”

There’s also plenty of your more conventional fun (see what we did there?) like celebrity guests, gaming, performances, a costume contest, trivia and karaoke.

Boredom is not an option during this 250 hours-plus of nerdy bliss.

When: 7 p.m.

Where: Visulite Theatre, 1615 Elizabeth Ave. More: $25-30. visulite.com

When: 8 p.m.; 10:15 p.m.; shows through June 2 Where: Comedy Zone, 900 NC Music Factory Blvd.

More: Sold out. cltcomedyzone.com

the 5th annual

SAT JUNE 23rd

SATURDAY

When: June 1-3, begins at 3 p.m.

Where: Hilton Charlotte University Place, 8629 JM Keynes Drive More: $10 and up. concarolinas.org

2

NODA 5K What: There’s a few reasons we like this 5K compared to countless runs happening on any given weekend.

First, two great causes: Let Me Run and Girls on the Run. Second, cool chip-timed technology that tracks runners around the loop. Third, most of those other runs begin at some ungodly early morning hour and end as the heat worsens. This one starts at 6 and ends as the sun sets. Which leads us to our fourth, most important attraction to the NoDa 5K: beer.

When: 6-9 p.m.

Where: NoDa Brewing Company, 2921 N. Tryon St. More: $35-40. noda5k.racesonline.com

TIX ON SALE

NOW!

NoDa 5K SATURDAY

Mineral Girls SATURDAY

Victory TUESDAY

NEWS ARTS FOOD MUSIC ODDS

PHOTO COURTESY OF MINERAL GIRLS

PHOTO COURTESY OF START2FINISH

SATURDAY

2

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

2

3

PHOTO COURTESY OF BLUMENTHAL ARTS

TUESDAY

5

WEDNESDAY

6

DOUBLE TAKE IMPROV

MINERAL GIRLS

SCHOOL OF ROCK FEST

VICTORY

SKATING POLLY

What: When you think improv, you may think of a bunch of folks who couldn’t make their sketch comedy career happen, so they formed a group with a bad trivia team name and jumped on stage to make things up as they go along. But the OTC Improv folks take improv to a different level, with no games and no teammates to hide behind. It’s just two performers on stage in a battle of the wits, duking it out for bragging rights in the toughest type of improv to pull off.

What: Before starting their current tour, our friends in the Mineral Girls announced it would be their last one together in a statement that kinda-sorta gives fans hope for the band to get back together later on.

But for now, Saturday night’s tourwrapping show will be the last one for this local “post-internet emotive indie pop” band. Looks like their last release, It’s The Last Time Every Time, was an autobiographical concept album. Museum Mouth, Dollar Signs and Dollhands join the Girls for a Milestone farewell.

What: We must appreciate the local youth upholding the sanctity of rock ‘n’ roll during this jamfest led by the students at Charlotte’s School of Rock. The all-day concert features music by Tom Petty, Gorillaz and a medley of powerful women in music called “Divas of the Airwaves.” There are battles planned between the school’s young version of The Clash and Ramones or Pixies and Weezer that are sure to be epic. These kids have pledged allegiance to rock, and it’s on us now to stand at attention.

What: Victory, who mixes folk, jazz and gospel, has been singing with her family since she was 4 years old. They used to sing together on subway platforms in NYC before Jay-Z overheard and whisked them away to his label Roc Nation.

Since then, Victory has released an EP, It’s a New Dawn, which includes the cover of Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good” that originally caught Jay’s ear. Now 23, Victory comes to Charlotte before her debut full-length album The Broken Instrument drops on June 15.

What: This riot grrl-inspired duo of step-siblings Kelli Mayo and Peyton Bighorse is touring their new album, They Make It All Show, released in May. They’ve come a long way since the two formed the band at ages 9 and 14. Now with brother Kurtis on board, the group’s fifth and mostrecent album was the product of a busy schedule over the last year that’s taken them to major festivals such as Riot Fest and The Capitol Hill Block Party, all the while mourning the election of Trump and navigating drama in their personal lives.

When: 8-9:30 p.m.

Where: Fort Mill Community Playhouse, 220 Main St., Fort Mill More: $8-10. otcimprov.com

When: 9 p.m.

Where: The Milestone, 3400 Tuckaseegee Road More: $7. themilestone.club

When: 1:30-9 p.m.

Where: Visulite Theatre, 1615 Elizabeth Ave. More: $10. visulite.com

When: 7:30 p.m.

Where: Stage Door Theater, 130 N. Tryon St. More: $25. blumenthalarts.org

When: 8 p.m.

Where: The Milestone, 3400 Tuckaseegee Road More: $10. themilestone.club

‘

the 5th annual

SAT JUNE 23rd

TIX ON SALE

NOW!

CLCLT.COM | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | 21

MUSIC

FEATURE

ES EL RITMO Orquesta Mayor, Charlotte’s premier salsa band, releases debut LP

BY GREY REVELL

T

HE FIRST THING HELDER

Serralde quickly realized when he arrived in Charlotte from Mexico City in 2006 was that it was going to be hard to find steady work as a trumpet player. Serralde, 42, is the leader of the city’s premier salsa group Orquesta Mayor, but the early years here were not easy ones.

Mexico’s culture encourages parties and celebrations, and there, Serralde was never without a gig. “There was always a party in Mexico,” he says. “Here — not so much.”

Settling into the still-developing town of Huntersville, Serralde was met with farms and churches and, well... more farms and more churches. “Now you go there and you see hospitals and shopping centers but then,” he remembers with a chuckle, “it was a field and a field and a field.”

The transition was rough. Picking up the trumpet at 17, Serralde had never been out of work in Mexico, working full time in musical outfits like Los Angeles Azules (The Blue Angels), the cumbia group in Mexico in which he had cut his teeth. Now in the United States, he was going to have to be a little more enterprising.

Serralde is sitting at La Revolución, a Mexican restaurant in the Music Factory just across from Creative Loafing’s headquarters, to talk about the origins of his group Orquesta Mayor, and the band’s upcoming debut album De Mil Manéras (By A Thousand Ways). Serralde is friendly, focused and brimming with energy, constantly getting text messages from his band members, working out scheduling issues and gig details. If you think coordinating a fourpiece rock band is hard, try keeping 12 members of a salsa group on the same page.

But Serralde insists that as tough as it is, the payoff is well worth it.

The fruits of his labor are evident.

Orquesta Mayor is now in it’s twelfth year of blowing the roofs off of music halls and clubs all around the Queen City, and the band will celebrate the release of its debut album at the Midwood International and Cultural Center on Central Avenue on Saturday, June 2. The show is part of the Latin American Coalition’s third annual Carribean celebration Ritmo y Sabor. Other features at the event include a performance by the dance group Bachata Flow, free salsa dance lessons and delicious authentic Latin 22 | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

PHOTOS BY JORGE TORRES

“WE CREATED ORQUESTA MAYOR BECAUSE THERE WAS NOTHING LIKE IT HERE. WE WERE THE FIRST.” HELDER SERRALDE, LEADER AND TRUMPET PLAYER American cuisine. The event, from 5 to 11 p.m., is free to the public.

Latin American Coalition’s Tony Arreaza, a staunch supporter of Orquesta Mayor, remembers when the band played behind the legendary Puerto Rican salsa singer Ismael Miranda at the 2015 Latin American Festival.

“I was backstage talking with Jose Luis Pardo of [the Venezuelan Latin alternative band] Los Amigos Invisibles fame,” Arreaza remembers. “I asked him, ‘What do you think about Ismael?’ He answered, ‘He is awesome, but I’m most impressed with his band!’ It felt so good to say that the band was 100 percent local talent.”

Orquesta Mayor was born out of dire necessity. In the then-burgeoning Charlotte Latinx community of the early aughts, there was a need for a band that could import the soundtrack to Latin lives into the Carolinas.

Once Serralde noticed the vaccuum here, the

trumpet player immediately put his mind to fixing things.

“We created Orquesta Mayor because there was nothing like it here,” Serralde says.

“We were the first.”

The 12-piece powerhouse boasts members who came to the U.S. from across Central America and its Carribean neighbors. The group’s four singers hail from Colombia, Peru, Ecuador and Puerto Rico. Colombian Laura Villamil is the go-to singer for romantic ballads, while the two male singers, Javier Mendoza and Tyrone Marquez, step to the mic for the harder-hitting tropical numbers.

The fourth singer, Puerto Rican Viviana Donate, is the versatile wild card on stage, capable of holding her own with any style.

Orquesta Mayor’s rhythm section is drummer Martin Donate (Viviana’s dad), who propels the band forward along with conga player Frankie Martinez, also from

Puerto Rico, and bongo player Raul Verano, from Peru. The horn section, the lifeblood of any salsa band, showcases the group’s North American members, with saxophonist Andrew Lovitt and trombonist Brent Ballard, who share the bandstand with second trombonist Julio Hernandez and second trumpeter Ervin Rosado, both from Puerto Rico.

The group’s quicksilver arrangements of salsa standards such as “Sentimientos Encondtrados” and “Te Hice Mal” are bona fide hits with their fans, and Serralde gets help with the arrangements from three composer/ arrangers he communicates with by internet and phone. Roald Quiroz is from Venezuela, while Cuban-born Pedro Jesus lives in Miami.

Puerto Rican Rafaél Torres rounds out the trio of arrangers.

Serralde says he pens the arrangements initially, but relies on the other three men to tell him what works and what doesn’t.

MUSIC

MUSIC NEWS

Orquesta Mayor is: Helder Serralde (seated) flanked by Raul Verano (behind, from left), Frankie Martinez, Viviana Donate, Irvin Rosado, Tyrone Marquez, Laura Villamil, Martin Donate and Vivian Cortes.

Charlotte rapper Phaze Gawd (left) is blessed with a surprise visit from Freedom Williams.

“They’re great for telling me, ‘Take this out’ or ‘Put another hit right there,’” Serralde says.

Orquesta Mayor’s first two years were “super deficil” (very difficult), Serralde says in Spanish, referring to getting gigs. But these days, he adds, the band is in steady demand.

“In the summer, we’re working every weekend,” Serralde says. “And as the weather starts cooling off — I’d say from Thanksgiving ‘til around March — we play more private events.” At the 2017 Puerto Rican celebration at Symphony Park last August, Orquesta Mayor shared the bill with the legendary Grand Combo of Puerto Rico — and killed it in front of a record crowd of 25,000 people.

And now, with summer kicking into gear again, Orquesta Mayor is back in its major stride, playing festivals such as Ritmo y Sabor.

Of course, the economics of playing music for a living are tough, and Serralde, along with all the other members of the group, juggle their band commitments with day jobs and teaching gigs. But Serralde is confident the days are fast approaching when Orquesta Mayor may fulfill his dream of being a fulltime musician again. The band is regularly asked to play in Asheville, and has expanded to stops in Georgia, Tennessee and South Carolina.

The group recorded De Mil Maneras during the first three months of 2018, at Tropic Culture Studio in Cornelius. The album was engineered and mastered by Jorge Espinosa, whose credits include projects with R&B singer Ronnie Wright and hip-hop artists Sip Wilson and ELU. Serralde says the experience with Espinosa was as good as it gets. “[Jorge]...is a monster...the absolute best,” Serralde says.

The album includes crowd-pleasing standards plus four originals: “Cuado Te Bese” and “Tu Mi Niña,” by Serralde, as well as “Yo Fui Ese Hombre” and “Que Digan,” written by Pedro Jesus.

Arreaza, who also plays guitar in the local Latinx band UltimaNota, guests on one track

C+C MUSIC FACTORY’S FREEDOM WILLIAMS SURPRISES CLT RAPPER

RITMO & SABOR 2018 5-11 p.m. June 2.

Midwood International and Cultural Center,

1817 Central Ave. Free. midwoodcenter.org.

PHOTO BY MARK KEMP

Phaze Gawd gets zapped on special joint edition of ‘Local Vibes’ and ‘Yo! CLT Raps’ podcasts

BY MARK KEMP

and remembers it fondly. “It was an honor to participate in their album,” Arreaza says.

“I love the song, ‘Para Volver Amar,’ and can’t wait for people to hear it. We all should feel proud and lucky to have a band like Orquesta Mayor in Charlotte.”

Serralde intends to promote De Mil Maneras for a few months and then return to Tropic Culture later this year for another session. “We have more than enough material for another album and the fans are very eager to have it,” he says.

In addition to Orquesta Mayor’s upcoming domestic tour dates, the band is in negotiations with Mexican recording artist Fred Huerta to join him on tour in Mexico, Colombia and points in between early next year. It would be the group’s first international dates, and a homecoming back to Serralde’s Mexican roots.

After 12 years of hard work and some major obstacles, things are starting to look up for Serralde and Orquesta Mayor. In an era dominated by conflict and fractured communities, the Charlotte band is a reminder that the world is a much smaller place than xenophobes would have us believe, and that music can be the thing that proves we have more in common than not — not to mention that we all like to dance.

To Helder Serralde, that’s what it’s always been all about — the rhythm, the party, the heart and the soul.

“It’s tough,” Serralde says with a smile, “but I enjoy it.”

BACKTALK@CLCLT.COM

CHARLOTTE NATIVE TONY POTTS,

better known as rapper Tony P., or Phaze Gawd, was just 8 the first time he performed for an audience. He was tapped by his elementary school to rap the Freedom Williams part in C+C Music Factory’s iconic 1990 hip-house hit “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance).”

Freedom Williams was just 8 the first time he performed for an audience, too. He was tapped by his elementary school to portray Frederick Douglass in a school play.

When Williams read the online version of Creative Loafing’s March 21 feature story on Tony P., he felt a connection to his younger protégé in Charlotte whom he’d never met.

Williams, 52, was so inspired by the story that he contacted CL and asked if we could get him together with the 26-year-old rapper who calls himself Phaze Gawd.

On Wednesday, May 23, the veteran New York rapper flew to Charlotte from his home in Brooklyn to surprise Tony P. on CL’s Local Vibes podcast. It was part of a joint audio/video presentation with Th3 Higher rapper Tizzy Farragami’s Yo! CLT Raps and videographer Barry Espy’s Espy Productions.

You can watch the documentary of this special meeting in an Espy-produced video posted at clclt.com, and listen to us surprise Tony P. on the audio version of the podcast.

“When I read [Tony P.’s] story I was like, that’s real — from Frederick Douglass to Freedom Williams to Phaze Gawd. I saw it as transitionary … a musical connection,” Williams told us in the podcast. “Where do

you get inspiration from? How do you get inspired? How do we define inspiration? “[Tony P.] re-inspired me, because it made me think about a very important part of my life. He inspired me through my own work.”

Williams, who’s been touring the oldies rap circuit with fellow veteran acts including Salt-N-Pepa and Naughty By Nature, came to Charlotte to meet Tony P. in between performances in Iceland and Denmark.

Williams’ hits with C+C Music Factory include “Gonna Make You Sweat,” which shot to No. 1 in 1991, and “Here We Go,” which reached No. 3 the same year. In June he’ll release an updated version of his first hit as “Sweat25” and is working on a new EP, #SweatCollectives.

Creative Loafing had told Tony P. we were doing a routine joint Local Vibes/Yo! CLT Raps podcast and wanted him to come talk about his new Phaze Gawd album, Dark Dreams. At the beginning of the podcast, we discussed the album, but then at about the 5:45 minute mark, we asked if he remembered the lyrics to “Gonna Make You Sweat.” (We knew he did.)

As he began rapping, Williams walked into the studio and began rapping along with Tony P., who turned around to see his childhood influence standing behind him.

“Oh, whoa, WHOA! That’s insane!” Tony P. exclaimed. “Yo, my heart’s like jumping right now ... that’s love.”

As the two generations of rap talked about their earliest performances, the podcast crew was just honored to be present for such a moving meeting of musical minds.

MKEMP@CLCLT.COM

CLCLT.COM | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | 23

SURVIVING SEXUAL ASSAULT IN CHARLOTTE. A NEW PODCAST FROM WFAE. AVAILABLE ON APPLE PODCASTS, GOOGLE PLAY, NPR ONE AND AT WFAE.ORG/SHESAYS

Check CLCLT.com on May 31 for episode 45 of our podcast, Local Vibes, as we chat with members of the Mineral Girls about their future plans as they prepare for their last show. check out Local Vibes now on spotify!

sten. We joined up with heavy hitters on The Charlotte Podcast, The Comedy Zone Podcast,

Cheers Charlotte Radio and The Yelp Charlotte Podcast to show what CLT has to offer in the audio realm. Be sure to check out our new squad at queencitypodcastnetwork.com.

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24 | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

CLCLT.COM | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | 25

MUSIC

SOUNDBOARD MAY 31 BLUES/ROOTS/INTERNATIONAL Cha Wa (U.S. National Whitewater Center)

COUNTRY/FOLK Outlaw Acoustic (JackBeagle’s)

DJ/ELECTRONIC DJ Matt B (Tin Roof) Le Bang (Snug Harbor)

POP/ROCK Carmen Tate Solo Acoustic (Eddie’s on Lake Norman, Mooresville) Open Mic for Musicians (Crown Station Coffeehouse and Pub) Drivin ‘N’ Cryin, Caleb Caudle (Neighborhood Theatre) Justin Townes Earle, Lilly Hiatt (Visulite Theatre) Karaoke (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) Kris Atom (Comet Grill) LeAnna Eden & The Garden Of, Iliad, Dallas Thrasher (Petra’s) Lisa DeNovo (RiRa Irish Pub) Shana Blake and Friends (Smokey Joe’s Cafe)

JUNE 1 CLASSICAL/JAZZ/SMOOTH Jazzy Fridays (Freshwaters Restaurant, Charlotte) Dante Lewis - A Sweet Love Tribute to Anita Baker (Morehead Tavern)

COUNTRY/FOLK Liz Cooper & the Stampede (U.S. National Whitewater Center) The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)

DJ/ELECTRONIC DJ Red (RiRa Irish Pub, Charlotte) That Guy Smitty (Common Market PlazaMidwood)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B Electric Relaxation f. DJ Skillz (‘Stache House Bar & Lounge) NoDa Nights: BradleyCLT, Brandon Sutton, Jaron Strom, Phaze Gawd, KM., Railz The Principle (Crown Station Coffeehouse and Pub) Rhyme and Reason: Yung Citizen, Byron Juane, NXTMIKE; The Skinny (Petra’s, Charlotte)

26 | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

POP/ROCK Summer Concert Series (Blakeney Shopping Center) The Business People, Rosewave, Colin Watts (Evening Muse) Chosovi, Cauliflower Brown, PK, The Whiskey Predicament (Tommy’s Pub) Gonzo Album Release Party (JackBeagle’s) Jason Scavone, Brit Drozda, Sparkman (Visulite Theatre) Jay Mathey Band (RiRa Irish Pub) Kris Atom (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) Kris Hitchcock (Tin Roof) Michael Flynn, Young Mister (Evening Muse) Paralysis, Nemisis, Axattack, Morganton (Milestone) Pleasures, Josh Cotterino, 2 Slices, Futurists (Snug Harbor) Ruby The Rabbit Foot, DEGA (The Rabbit Hole) Ryan Bailey (Heist Brewery) The Underground Owls (Smokey Joe’s Cafe)

JUNE 2 COUNTRY/FOLK Willy Porter, Eli Cook (Evening Muse)

DJ/ELECTRONIC Off the Wall: The Cool of the Night (Petra’s, Charlotte) That Guy Smitty (204 North) Tilted DJ Saturdays (Tilted Kilt Pub & Eatery)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B Lyfe Jennings (Don Gibson Theatre, Shelby)

POP/ROCK 76 and Sunny (Tin Roof) Akita (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) Apples (JackBeagle’s) Brother Hawk (U.S. National Whitewater Center) Crashbox (RiRa Irish Pub) Diamonds and Whiskey, Caroline Keller Band (Visulite Theatre) The Hey Joes (Smokey Joe’s Cafe) JaggerMouth, Never Home, Uncle Buck, The Bummers (Skylark Social Club) Killakoi, Something Clever, Ish, Faithful Annie (The Underground) Les Merry Chevaliers (Evening Muse) Matt Irie Band & Sons of Paradise, The Bleeps, Jah Will Band (Neighborhood Theatre) The Mineral Girls - Final Show, Museum Mouth,

MUSIC

SOUNDBOARD Dollar Signs, Dollhands (Milestone) The Relics (Comet Grill) Rock the Park 2018 (Paladium Amphitheater at Carowinds) Warboys, AM/FMs, Penitentials, Gore Gore

Animal (The Underground) Them Sedgefield Boys (Comet Grill) Open Mic with Lisa De Novo (Legion Brewing)

Luchadores (Snug Harbor)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

JUNE 3 BLUES/ROOTS/INTERNATIONAL Charlotte Blues Society Sunday Blues Bash: Pam Taylor Band (The Rabbit Hole)

COUNTRY/FOLK Gabrielle Sophia, Shealee Cousino (Evening Muse)

DJ/ELECTRONIC Bone Snugs-N-Harmony (Snug Harbor) More Fyah - Grown & Sexy Vibes (Crown Station Coffeehouse and Pub)

POP/ROCK The Bacon Brothers (McGlohon Theater) Horse Feathers, Vanessa Peters (Neighborhood Theatre) Jake Paul, Sunny Malouf (The Fillmore) Metal Church Sunday Service (Milestone) Omari and The Hellhounds (Comet Grill) School of RockfestCLT: School’s Out for Summer (Visulite Theatre) Sunday Music Bingo (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) Tiny Stage Concerts Songwriter Showcase: Tim Hall, Rick Spreitzer, Karl Stolz (Free Range Brewing Company)

JUNE 4 CLASSICAL/JAZZ/SMOOTH Jazz Jam (Crown Station Coffeehouse and Pub)

BLUES/ROOTS/INTERNATIONAL

JUNE 5 Eclectic Soul Tuesdays - RnB & Poetry (Apostrophe Lounge) Victory (Stage Door Theater) Soul Station (Crown Station Coffeehouse and Pub)

COUNTRY/FOLK Red Rockin’ Chair (Comet Grill)

POP/ROCK Chon, Polyphia, TTNG, Tricot (The Underground) Frenship (Neighborhood Theatre) Misnomer (Evening Muse) Sunflower Bean, The Nude party (Snug Harbor, Charlotte) Uptown Unplugged with Chassy Trio (Tin Roof, Charlotte) Open Jam with the Smokin’ Js (Smokey Joe’s Cafe) Open Mic hosted by Jarrid and Allen of Pursey Kerns (The Kilted Buffalo, Huntersville)

JUNE 6 BLUES/ROOTS/INTERNATIONAL Bugalú – Old School Latin Boogie (Petra’s)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B Free Hookah Wednesdays Ladies Night (Kabob House, Persian Cuisine)

DJ/ELECTRONIC Karaoke with DJ Alex Smith (Petra’s) Cyclops Bar: Modern Heritage Weekly Mix Tape (Snug Harbor)

Monday Night Allstars (Visulite Theatre)

COUNTRY/FOLK

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Tyler Childers (Neighborhood Theatre) Open Mic/Open Jam (Comet Grill)

#MFGD Open Mic (Apostrophe Lounge) Knocturnal (Snug Harbor)

POP/ROCK Find Your Muse Open Mic featuring Toney Rocks (Evening Muse, Charlotte) Music Bingo (Tin Roof) Music Trivia (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) Smallpools, Great Good Fine Ok, Half The

POP/ROCK Carmen Tate (LakeTown Tavern, Cornelius) CUSP presents: Dirty Art Club, Madwreck, High Cube, Zodiac Lovers, Lon Lon, The Orphaned Hologram, Xin (Snug Harbor) Open House & Karaoke (Sylvia Theatre, York) Open Mic with Jared Allan (JackBeagle’s)

Double Take An improv duo: UNPLUGGED

NO "game" format NO extra teammates NO place to hide

June 2nd 2018 8:00pm – 9:30pm Just two guys on stage matching "fighting" wits! Come see the hardest type of improv to pull off.

Tickets: $8 advance $10 door dtimprov.eventbrite.com Fort Mill Community Playhouse 220 Main Street Fort Mill, SC 29715 Questions: 704-618-4203

otcimprov.com/doubletake Pluto for Planet (RiRa Irish Pub) Skating Polly, Potty Mouth, Alright, The Boron Heist (Milestone) Songwriter Open Mic @ Petra’s (Petra’s) The Tosco Music Open Mic - Summer is almost here! (Evening Muse)

COMING SOON Japanese Breakfast (June 9, Neighborhood Theatre) The Posies (June 10, Neighborhood Theatre) David Ryan Harris (June 13, Evening Muse) American Aquarium (June 21, Visulte) Algiers (June 27, Neighborhood Theatre) Foreigner (July 4, PNC Music Pavilion) Sam Smith (July 6, Spectrum Center) Barenaked Ladies (July 5, Charlotte Metro Credit Union Amphitheare) Erasure (July 11, Fillmore) Digital Noir: Michael Price and DJ Spider (July 14, Milestone)

5/31 Justin Townes Earle 6/1 JASON SCAVONE & BRIT DROZDA & WHISKEY 6/2 +DIAMONDS 6/9 NIGHT RIOTS CAROLINE KELLER BAND 6/16 TOWN MOUNTAIN 6/21 AMERICAN AQUARIUM 6/29 HAYES CARLL 7/19 ROOSEVELTS 7/20 JGBCB 7/21 JUPITER COYOTE 7/23 FANTASTIC NEGRITO 7/25 THE SHEEPDOGS 8/5 LYDIA 8/11 NATALIE PRASS 8/17 RED BARCHETTA A Tribute to RUSH 9/11 JOSEPH 9/19 NOAH GUNDERSEN 9/28 CAAMP 10/2 MT. JOY NEED DIRECTIONS? Check out our website at clclt.

com. CL online provides addresses, maps and directions from your location. Send us your concert listings: E-mail us at mkemp@clclt. com or fax it to 704-522-8088. We need the date, venue, band name and contact name and number. The deadline is each Wednesday, one week before publication.

CLCLT.COM | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | 27

ARTS

FEATURE

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN

Address: Haylo Healing Arts Studio, 1111 Central Ave., #100 Artist: Catherine Courtland

In April, we took you on the Mural Express, sharing our favorite murals from the CATS Blue Line. We had such a damn good time spotlighting local artwork we figured we’d start visiting specific neighborhoods for the same purpose. This month, we’re in Plaza Midwood. Most of these are close-ups of much bigger pieces, so visit the complete projects and send suggestions from your ’hood to @creativeloafingcharlotte on Instagram.

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN

Address: Salon 1226, 1226 Central Ave. Artists: Alex DeLarge, Dustin Moats

Address: The Nook at Plaza Midwood, 1421 Central Ave. Artists: Matt Hooker, Matt Moore

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN

Address: Midwood Smokehouse, 1401 Central Ave. Artist: Knowledge to Create — Southern chapter

PHOTO BY TATE ROBERTS

Address: 1510 Antiques and Consignments, 1510 Central Ave. Artists: Nick Napoletano, Matt Hooker, Matt Moore

28 | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

Address: Stash Pad, 1216 Thomas Ave. Artist: Oboe

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN

Address: Seventh Sin Tattoo Company, 927 Central Ave. Artists: Southern Tiger Collective

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN

Address: Providence Auto Repair, 1315 Pecan Ave. Artist: Nick Napoletano (above and below)

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN

Address: Common Market, 2007 Commonwealth Ave. Artist: Joe Borruso Address: White Rabbit, 920 Central Ave. Artist: Gail Croy

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN

Address: Coaltrane’s Char Grill, 1518 Central Ave.

Artists: Matt Hooker, Matt Moore

CLCLT.COM | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | 29

Lightrail Patio trail RP: I think The Matts [Matt Hooker and Matt Moore] painted the walls of this place.

The Osiris Rain mural on the wall covering the dumpster adds to the vibe. Speaking of walls covering dumpsters, it’s crazy that they built a custom brick wall around the Porta Potty. That was really thoughtful.

It probably contains the smell a little bit, sends it straight up.

PHOTOS BY DANA VINDIGNI

The Light Rail Patio Trail The Boozing on a Budget crew hits the Blue Line

JL: That makes for a little bit of privacy.

I don’t like there being nothing but a plastic wall between me and all those people.

LAST MONTH, for the annual CL Beer

Guide, we sent three staffers and local rapper Black Linen out in Plaza Midwood to track down the absolute cheapest beer we could find and give our drunken opinions on it. Thanks to all the great feedback, we decided to bring the squad back for this year’s Summer Guide. Black Linen couldn’t make it, so we brought new sales rep Alexandra McGill and sales manager Aaron Stamey along for the ride.

This time, we took the light rail from NoDa to South End in search of five patio bars we either heard were worth visiting or knew from experience. We hit the town directly after work on a recent Wednesday to share some summer cocktails and beers in the great outdoors of Charlotte’s urban jungle. As with our Broke Beer Guide, we did no research for the following reviews, and all we have to offer are our drunken insights and non-expert opinions. Cheers.

Charleston kind of vibe to it, which is kind of neat. And it also kind of reminds me of a nice, quaint little house, and like my grandma’s backyard in Queens. All those things in one.

Justin Lafrancois: I’ve never been to Savannah but I had a picture of it in my head forever, and this is it.

SOLSTICE TAVERN, 3221 N. DAVIDSON ST

[Now drinking Leinenkugel Summer Shandy, Bold Rock Hard Cider, Fireball and tequila] JL: I’m going to drink in context of whatever patio we’re on. I just ordered a Budweiser and a shot of Aristocrat tequila, straight up, no salt, no lime.

RP: Why is that in context of where we are?

Ryan Pitkin: This place always has sangria on blast. It’s $7 a cup, which is a good bit, but it’s a great thing to start with. It has a patio over here that’s in the sun, but it’s also got one in the front. I call that the front, because it’s on the street, but some people call it the back, which is bullshit.

JL: Because I feel like that’s a good NoDa set-up. Why would I not get the cheapest beer I possibly can?

Aaron Stamey: Ryan’s a NoDa resident, have you ever had that combination before?

Alexandra McGill AM: How can they afford that? I feel like everything here is so cheap I don’t know how they afford to do it.

[On the “Butterfly Highway” between the front and back patios, sitting on swings drinking NoDa Coladas, white wine, Unknown Ginger Wheat and other beer.]

DV: You could get shitty at this place for $50 no problem.

JL: I could get alcohol poisoning at this place for 50 bucks.

Alexandra McGill: This is a great place to take a selfie. This area is so cute. It looks like Florida.

RP: Never in my life.

JL: I feel like this is definitely not the appropriate place to get super aggressive.

I am an aggressive drinker. I have an aggressive demeanor about me when I drink — not like hostile or physically aggressive, I’m just party aggressive.

RP: This is more chill, nice, Dana’s grandma’s backyard. Someone just walked by and said, “This place feels very zen,” which is the opposite of Justin’s vibe in general.

DV: Hanging swings plus potted plants equals adult fun.

30 | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

Justin LaFrancois (left) and Ryan Pitkin

DV: Don’t you just feel it in your bones?

NODA COMPANY STORE, 3221 YADKIN AVENUE

Dana Vindigni: It’s very quaint. It kind of reminds me of Savannah, even though I’ve never been to Savannah. It has like a

RP: The other cool thing about this patio is that in the summer they grill out hot dogs and hamburgers and other foods that they switch up every weekend and they just give them out to whomever comes by to hang.

JL: It doesn’t matter what the combination is, it’s just like the character of the drink.

AM: What’s that, trashy?

RP: This is a go-to summer patio.

I’ve been living in this neighborhood nine years and this has always been the patio. It’s where I learned to play cornhole.

DV: It’s really comfortable. It’s got the eclectic vibe with the collection of signs and bizarrely high fences for a good reason, we can assume.

Lightrail Patio trail JL: The fans that they have out on this patio are supplying the best breeze I’ve ever felt in my life.

FAHRENHEIT, 222 S. CALDWELL ST.

DV: Yes, we’ll give them props for their circulation of airflow. I feel kind of like I’m on vacation in Cancun, where you go to one of those quirky bars, with all the different colors, it’s got a little Mexican or island feel to it.

JL: It’s swanky but you don’t have to plan your outfit. We came in here with an electric scooter, t-shirts, sunglasses, we’re chilling.

JL: Maybe if this patio was made out of water instead of wood, I could swim up to the bar.

RP: One thing about this place is that there was once a family of possums living under us, and every once in a while when you’re chilling here at night, they would just come up and then sit on that tree and stare at us.

RP: When I walked in here, I felt like I did not even come close to belonging. But they let you in, and they’re cool and friendly, no dress code. But it doesn’t seem like a place for the Boozing on a Budget crew.

RP: Right, and I see other people dressed equally casual, so it’s cool.

AS: It feels like I’m at Niagara Falls with everyone taking pictures.

[In the elevator up to the 22nd floor, we discuss expectations]

DV: I’m having the Orange Blossom.

It’s super good. It was $14. This is kind of a bitchin’ view. If you’re going to spend money, then you need to spend it correctly,

JL: I’ve only ever been here one time and it was freezing cold so we couldn’t go outside.

My expectation is that maybe this will be the Disneyland of patios. It’s the original Uptown patio.

[On the patio, drinking house-made cocktails and/or wine]

DILWORTH TASTING ROOM, 300 E. TREMONT ST.

RP: The view is as promised; pretty damn good.

JL: I just want to say that I played in a charity golf tournament on Monday, and standing on this rooftop patio I feel like I’m back on the putting green.

[Drinking house-made cocktails and a bevy of different beers]

and spending it on this view of the Charlotte skyline is pretty damn good. Do you want to wait on line for the bar? No, but that’s ok.

RP: We didn’t really. We’ve got like six people with us now so I think you were just last in the line that we created.

AS: The TV game is weak outside.

RP: But the fire pit game is strong.

Aaron Stamey

DV: This place is sort of like the perfect date if you were in Lady & the Tramp. It’s got beautiful trees and elegant lighting and a big pond in the middle and a beautiful spring, and it’s just quite romantic. I need a date night here.

JL: It’s the hottest patio we’ve been on all night. I feel like I’m in The Jungle Book.

RP: It reminds me of Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil. Y’all thought Company Store looked like Savannah, but this is Savannah.

DV: You’re not coming here for television.

You’re coming here to get some classy liquor and spend some money and be in the scene with people who want to do that.

AM: That does not make me want to be here.

JL: No, because we’re definitely standing on Astroturf that makes me feel like I’m on a sports field.

AM: I worked here for two years, and every time there was a nice view we all still ran out [and] had to get a picture. I love this place, because it’s so nice. Especially in the winter, the fire pits are really nice. It’s busy all year round. People always want to come here.

RP: I’m pretty sure they’re gone.

Something bad happened. I think one tried to cross the street one time or something. Didn’t go well.

AS: I love the view of the Spectrum Center. I can see the Hornets losing from here.

RP: You’ve been inside talking to some old friends for a little while. Are they paying you to say this?

RP: Do you mean because of the way all these banker bros are dressed?

AM: [laughs] No, even when I worked here, I loved it up here. Why wouldn’t you love it up here? It’s so nice, look at that sunset. My dad lived here 20 years ago, and he came back in town last year, and I said, “You know what? We have to go to Fahrenheit.” So you can come up here and see how Charlotte grew. And he was like, [gasp]. I liked that I got to show him how Charlotte grew. When he was from here, he didn’t see the skyline. I brought him up here and he was like, “Wow, Charlotte’s a city now.”

CLCLT.COM | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | 31

Lightrail Patio trail JL: You think there’s fish in there?

going to be over here, the last living locals of South End would be over here.

RP: I bet there’s at least one koi in there.

Go check.

RP: Are we going to be drinking out of a coconut, is that what the server said?

JL: There’s multiple fish in that pond.

And it’s pretty deep. I would say about four feet deep.

RP: I think this is my top-ranked patio.

AM: You think the garden’s evil?

RP: No, the movie.

JL: I feel like I’m in a nice little bungalow, and that if I ventured off into the corner I might find Hugh Hefner’s grotto. Rest in peace. Since we’ve been drinking already and we came in here loudly, we are getting looks. Also very important, you can smoke on this patio, as opposed to Fahrenheit. It doesn’t look like you can here, but you can.

DV: That too.

JL: I love that they have a little, I don’t want to call it a fountain because the water’s not running, what would you call that? A pond?

RP: It’s a pond.

HOT TACO, 200 E. BLAND ST., A

DV: I mean, there’s literally a fucking lagoon.

[Drinking rum tiki drinks, skinny margaritas and sangria]

AM: This is definitely my favorite patio so far. It is so cute out here. I love it. The drinks are like Fahrenheit price. I’m getting the strawberry basil cup for $13. But this place is so cute, it’s covered so you feel like it’s very private. And there’s plants everywhere, which I love. The walls are even covered in plants.

JL: The late-night menu here is an awesome way to end your light rail patio trail.

RP: If you’re drunk enough to overlook the racist sleeping Mexican statues.

JL: There’s two of them! That’s double the racism.

DV: This is literally a step away from the light rail, the closest one to it that we’ve visited all night.

JL: The cactus that’s painted on the wall is very nice. The West Coast Customs Magic School Bus looks really cool.

DV: Can we talk about the fact that this place kind of looks like a fairy garden, which is always important to be able to just take a minute in a place, if you don’t wish to be surrounded by television and modern technology.

RP: I thought you were going to say “and douchebags.”

JL: I really fuckin’ hope so.

Pitkin (left) and LaFrancois

RP: Oh no. They will come to South End. That’s where they stay.

JL: Yeah, this is where they live. They all live in that building right there [points across the tracks].

AM: For it being 10:30 p.m. on a fuckin’ Wednesday, the menu’s pretty big.

JL: I’m getting a half-priced fajita.

DV: Half-priced fajita means $8, I can get a fajita rather than a bowl for $11. Yes, that’s happening. This combo of quac and queso is really something amazing.

RP: It is but these chips are kind of stale. Either way, this is a fine night cap of tacos and fajitas.

AM: I didn’t feel great about this place, it’s lowest on my list.

DV: They have a little food selection.

It’s nice. It’s like handheld foods, priced reasonably. Obviously not dirt cheap, but not crazy expensive. You have flatbreads and cheese plates and meat plates, $10 to 13.

My wine was between $10 and 12. Totally affordable and the ambience is really cute.

Cheers. This is a top-rated date place.

RP: I give it an eight out of 10, probably my top ranked so far.

JL: I give it a 10 out of seven.

Pitkin (from left), LaFrancois, McGill and Stamey

RP: I thought it was good. I had a very nice tiki drink, although no coconut, dammit.

AM: It wasn’t crap. But it wasn’t great.

JL: The music is not fantastic, but it’s on, so that’s good.

DV: I do feel like the last few places we haven’t had any music. Not since Company Store.

JL: Company Store had the best music all night for sure. Let’s talk about the clientele on the Hot Taco patio. So there is no other clientele on the Hot Taco patio, but I can tell you that there is clientele on the All American Pub, Oak Room and Slate patio, and it’s definitely a sad sight: over-gentrified, banker bro scene. If Bank of America let all their employees out at the same time, this is where they’d end up.

DV: Yeah, but we’re here, and we’re not yuppies. I feel like survivors of South End are

32 | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | CLCLT.COM

DV: I feel like the limit for banker bros is not this far, like they end in Uptown.

JL: Just as I suspected, the clientele at Hot Taco in South End still wears their Rich & Bennett’s St. Patrick’s Day bar crawl shirts when they go out on a Wednesday night.

[And at that, we made our way down Bland Street to call an Uber, as the next light rail wouldn’t arrive for 20 minutes and we were ready to end our nivht as patio reviewers. Stay tuned for the next Boozing adventure.]

BACKTALK@CLCLT.COM

Snuggle Up with CL

tonight....

CLCLT.COM | MAY. 31 - JUN. 6, 2018 | 33

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patio straggler — who, I might add, said that Chasers was a good time and that it could be like any other. Well, other than the fact that confirmed by all the “hot chicks” present.

I’d already walked to the halal cart for lamb Our driver, who looked a lot like Fortune over rice. And yeah I know, many will judge Feimster, pulled past the spot (we didn’t me for going before 2 a.m. but I’d missed know where we were going) and she said, it the previous two nights so the craving “Wait, y’all going to Chasers?” She put the was real.

Nevertheless, my boyfriend — who car in reverse and pulled into a sketchy little decided not to disown me for my dinner parking lot where there was a sign on a small choice — and I went to our fave watering building over a door that looked more like a hole for a normal late night. Little did we back entrance. She assured us we were going know, however, our regular plans would be in the right way, that we’d have a good time changing very soon. A friend of ours walked and ended with, “Oh hey, it’s free taco night in with a couple friends and sat down inside and stay out of the bathroom.” She laughed the bar. a hearty laugh and we walked away from the Thirty minutes later, our friend was car a bit confused as we walked down walking out with another friend the stairs into the nightclub. who he’d convinced to go with It was dark, but someone him and his two friends to waved us over to a window Chasers Charlotte NoDa. on the right where we You know what happened got IDed and I peeped next. They started in on a sign that said, “CASH us, trying to convince BAR ONLY.” No worries, us to tag along. *Sigh* though, they have an Just when I thought we’d ATM inside. We got out enjoy a quiet night on a cash and proceeded to the patio with just the two bar before grabbing seats of us. at a table right in front and AERIN SPRUILL A quick Google search below the stage. The venue turned up these results: is small, so I was thankful that “‘Where the happy people party!’ there weren’t a lot of people on this A fun gay nightclub featuring the eventful Tuesday. finest in female impersonation from all over When the performers were on stage, the nation and sexy go-go boys.” Yep, we the faces in the crowd lit up. And as for were in for a hell of an experience if we those performers, they took their jobs very decided to go. seriously. Their makeup was on point, their I looked at my boyfriend immediately outfits were lit and if they ever missed a step trying to gauge whether or not he was in for in their routine, I couldn’t tell. Some of our a drastic change in scenery. Me personally, group passed ones to the performers as they I’m no stranger to LGBT nightlife. In fact, made their way down the stairs of the stage some of the most fun I’ve had in Charlotte into the crowd. I just observed as I was still has been at popular spots such as Scorpios, trying to figure out when I was going to be Bar 316 and (what used to be) L4 Lounge. buzzed enough to be on the same level as However, this particular night, I was everyone else. uninterested.

It wasn’t until we stepped outside that I voiced my complaints, “It’s going to be we realized our third wheel didn’t know that too loud. I don’t do the club scene anymore. ladies loving ladies weren’t there every single I’m not in the mood.” To each of my concerns, the boyfriend rolled his eyes. I think he night of the week. Talk about a riot. He was knew I really wasn’t in the right frame of clearly shook and it was hilarious to me. It mind, but the lack of valid excuses weren’t was late, 1:30 a.m. or so., so we’d have to working either, especially when some of save real fun at the venue for another night. them were coming across snobbish or like I We hopped in an Uber and drove away. was a “know-it-all.”

The next morning, the boyfriend and I When it was all said and done, the boo laughed as we remembered our adventure. was convinced, even though I couldn’t Even though I wanted a better first tell if he thought I was trying to do the experience that I was prepared for, I was convincing through my complaining. Despite thankful my boyfriend didn’t let me Chase my anxiety, I try to go with the flow. So guess the fun away. what? We grabbed an Uber with another BACKTALK@CLCLT.COM

ENDS

CROSSWORD

RECREATIONAL MATHEMATICS ACROSS 1 Sovereign 9 “And on and on and on”: Abbr.

15 Like saltines 20 Fit to send via the postal service 21 Old-time comedian Russell 22 Designer Oscar de la -23 Olive Oyl’s guy, to a math lover?

25 Hall’s partner in music 26 Chicken -27 “Have -- a deal for you!”

28 Increases, as debt 30 2011-15 speaker of the House 34 Huge grin, to a math lover?

38 Meditative discipline 39 “Oh really? -- who?!”

41 Old Carl Sagan series 42 Guitarist Nugent 43 Layer with a “hole” in it 45 Hand lender 48 Narrow coastal inlet 49 R.E. Lee’s org.

52 Male Oscar category, to a math lover?

58 Cry audibly 59 Sir -- Newton 60 One like the previous one 62 Suffix with leopard 65 Will subject 67 Lump of mayo, e.g.

69 Harsh in tone 70 “Les Miserables” author, to a math lover?

73 More done than “bloody,” to a math lover?

75 Pretty up 76 Mimic 77 Ballpark bite 78 Casual greetings 79 Cry upon arriving 81 Air, as an oldie 82 Wallach of “The Misfits” 85 Spinning measure, to a math lover?

92 -- while 93 Extra NBA periods 94 Petrol station name

95 “-- Marner” 96 Stick on 99 Reporter, informally 102 South, south of the border 104 Tetra- + five 105 Protective spirit, to a math lover?

110 Motoring TV series 112 No fewer than 113 Burglarizes 115 Jerry’s uncle on “Seinfeld” 116 Certain floor specialist 117 1950 black-comedy film noir, to a math lover?

125 Lift with effort 126 Motionless 127 Talked nonsense 128 Pack-toting animals 129 Carmelite nun 130 Vampire novelist

DOWN

1 Mini-demon 2 -- Zedong 3 Domino spot 4 Pachyderms 5 Silky fabric 6 Alpine goats 7 Height stat 8 Utah City near Provo 9 Belgian artist James 10 Big name in breath mints 11 Tax doc. pro 12 U.S. aliens’ subj.

13 Hot brew 14 Storied duelist with a big nose 15 Gators’ kin 16 Supply with a new weapon 17 Have a hunch 18 Remington of 1980s TV 19 Went by 24 Yolk’s place 29 Med. x-ray 30 Party abbr. about drinks 31 Seep 32 Huge heads 33 Get as profit 35 Classical column style 36 “The ball -- your court” 37 Hi-tech ‘zine 40 “Hush!”

44 Tijuana “that”

46 Prescription measure 47 Lyric Muse 50 Derision 51 Floral oil 53 Rival of Lyft 54 -- kwon do 55 One-named Italian model 56 “Hey, I was thinking ...”

57 Glossy proof 61 Deli breads 62 “Well, Did You --?”

(Cole Porter tune) 63 Nisan feast 64 Win points 66 SeaWorld killer whale 67 Outfits 68 Peculiarity 71 Roman fountain 72 Shallot’s kin 73 -- code 74 Many moons 77 Mother bird 80 Singer Morissette 81 Bow rub-on 83 Guitarist Paul 84 Freezing up 86 City 87 “-- trap!”

88 Beat big-time 89 Balm plant 90 Mama’s ma 91 Old overlord 96 Christie of mystery 97 Import taxes 98 City in Texas 100 Annoys a lot 101 Way to leave 103 Arrive, as fog 106 Christopher of “Superman” 107 Ventures 108 Bunch of, informally 109 Diminish 111 Annoy 114 Mixer choice 118 Aztec cousin 119 “I’m cold!”

120 View 121 It may dispense 13Down 122 Old ring king 123 Abbr. on a camcorder 124 HST follower

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BY DAN SAVAGE I have two complaints: one with the be with your wife, and if allowing you to get world and one with you. My problem oral elsewhere is the price of admission she’s with the world is that it seems to think willing to pay to be with you, then Godspeed, it is possible to embrace the rights of IWFU, and tip the sex workers you patronize sex workers and still stigmatize the and speak up to fight the stigma against men who employ them. I am in a happy doing sex work and hiring sex workers. monogamish marriage, and I enjoy a very good, vanilla-but-bordering-on-tantric I am a 38-year-old gay man with a serious sex life with my wife. Early on, when we problem. My boyfriend of five years has discussed how open our marriage should developed a strange fascination. We’ve be, we decided it would be all right for always watched porn together, but now me to see escorts several times a year. he has been looking at straight porn This gives me some sexual variety and and even lesbian porn (!!!) more and keeps her from feeling threatened by my more often. More than once he has becoming emotionally involved with a expressed an interest in having a MMF third party. She is very mono and has no threesome — and he’s a self-proclaimed interest in going outside the marriage gold-star gay! This week, I discovered for sex. My quarrel with you has to do he had hidden a Fleshlight from with your oft-repeated advice me. I could tell he had used that people should break it. What is going on with things off with partners him? On the other hand, who don’t perform oral we still have sex pretty sex. My wife doesn’t like frequently. He really to give head — and I gets off when I call his really don’t like getting ass a “pussy,” which I’ll it from her, since she do to turn him on, but doesn’t like doing it.

I find it pretty weird.

It is, however, one of He also tells me he gets the things on my list for off on the thought of the my quarterly pro session.

DAN SAVAGE two of us fucking a woman So I go down on her, she together. This really seems doesn’t go down on me, and I bizarre! Could my beautiful see escorts who do. And… bottom boy be turning bi? If he IT WORKS FOR US is, I don’t know how we can handle it.

In regards to your first complaint, IWFU, there are sex workers out there fighting for their rights and fighting the stigma against sex work — along with fighting prohibition, the Nordic Model, and SESTA (google it) — but you don’t see the men who employ them stepping up and joining the fight. “[It’s time for] all of you clients out there [to] get off your duffs and fight,” as sex worker and sex-worker-rights advocate Maggie McNeill wrote on her blog. “Regular clients outnumber full-time whores by at least 60 to 1. Gentlemen, I suggest you rethink your current silence, unless you want to be the next one with your name and picture splashed across newspapers, TV screens, and websites.”

In regards to your second complaint, IWFU, it is true that I’ve said — on one or two occasions — that oral comes standard and any model that arrives without oral should be returned to the lot. I’ve also said that you can’t be in an LTR without paying the price of admission, and I’ve said that a lot more often. If not getting oral at home is the price of admission you’re willing to pay to

GUY ALARMED, YEAH, BY YOUNGER BOYFRIEND’S INTEREST

Turning bi? Unlikely. Always was bi and only just realized it? Likelier.

Always was bi but identified as gay because (1) he prefers men as romantic partners and (2) the biphobia he encountered in gay male spaces/bedrooms/buttholes convinced him to stay closeted but he doesn’t want to live a lie anymore and he’s done hiding from the man he loves but instead of using his words and coming out to you like a grown-up, GAYBYBI, your boyfriend is letting you know he’s bi with his porn choices and a big push to make a MMF threesome sound like a sexy adventure you would both enjoy? Likeliest.

As for how to handle it, GAYBYBI, you’ll have to use your words: Ask your boyfriend if he’s bi. (Spoiler: He’s bi, bicurious, or so homoflexible he could tour with Cirque du Soleil.) If you’re not interested in having sex with women, tell him so. If being with you means he can never have sex with a woman, tell him so. And if you would never knowingly date a bi guy, tell him he deserves better.

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LILLY SPA

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SOLUTION TO THIS WEEK'S PUZZLE

ARIES (March 21 to

April 19) Cheer up, Lamb. Your emotional impasse will lift once you allow your highly tuned sense of justice to guide you on what to do about an associate’s questionable behavior.

TAURUS

(April 20 to May 20) News about a project you hoped to work on might need more clarification.

Take nothing just on faith. Draw up a list of questions, and insist on each being fully answered.

Real hot chat now.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Home and work issues vie for your attention through early next week. Rely on your Libran sense of balance to keep you from being overwhelmed by either side.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Creative projects might have to go on standby as you tackle other matters making demands on your time and energy. Things should ease by the middle of next week.

SAGITTARIUS

GEMINI (May 21

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to June 20) Giving your time to help others is fine. But don’t lose sight of your own needs. Make plans for an energy-restoring getaway with that very special person in your life.

CANCER (June 21 to

July 22) Congratulate yourself on getting that difficult job done to everyone’s satisfaction. This could be the first of many such challenges you might be offered down the line.

LEO (July 23 to August 22)

With your enthusiasm soaring again, you feel ready to tackle a tough new assignment. Good for you! And remember: Don’t be too proud to accept help when it’s offered.

VIRGO (August 23 to

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September 22) Cupid rules the week for single Virgos eager to make a romantic connection.

Meanwhile, Virgo couples experience renewed commitment in their relationships.

(November 22 to December 21) Your energies are high, and so are your aspirations. But be careful not to let work dominate the week. It’s also important to spend time with family and friends.

CAPRICORN (December

22 to January 19) It’s a good time to set aside your pride and stop nursing those hurt feelings.

Instead, consider restoring relationships you want to have back in your life.

AQUARIUS

(January 20 to February 18) You might be miffed at not being shown more appreciation for your hard work. But don’t brood over it.

Recognition comes in its own time and in its own way.

PISCES (February

19 to March 20) With your inner creative juices starting to boil and bubble, this is a good time to launch a new arts-related project, or go back and restart the one you had set aside.

BORN THIS WEEK You have a way of seeing the best in people, which helps encourage them to live up to your perceptions.

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