Grok Issue #2 2012

PUBLISHED BY THE CURTIN STUDENT GUILD

FREE!

ISSUE #2 - 2012

IN THIS ISSUE: CARNIVAL Including:

Cirque du Politique Perth’s Single Circus Miss Burlesque Australia How to make your very own Carmen Miranda fruit hat!

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for all Curt覺n Students

Call 9266 2900 or pop in to Guild Reception to make an appointment.

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ISSUE #2 2012

CONTACTS Editorial - 9266 2806 Advertising - 9266 3087 Email - grok@guild.curtin.edu.au

CONTENTS

EDITOR - Hayley Davis LAYOUT - Rozanna Johnson COVER - Chloe Sellars Grok exists for entertainment purposes only. The views expressed therein are not necessarily that of the Curtin Student Guild.

CONTRIBUTORS

Grok would not exist were it not for the generous donation of time and effort from it’s contributors, to whom we are eternally grateful. (in no particular order) Aiden Stingemore Emil Cholich Abby Hutchinson Hayley Davis Mark Isaacson Scott Donaldson Chloe Papas Connor White Adil Cader Cassie Rees Katie Snowdon David Scaife Michael MacKenzie Jarod Rhine-Davis Trent Macri Belinda Tey

3 Editorial 5 your guild:

PRESIDENT

6

your guild:

26 sport:

The Power of a Game 28 feature:

The Art of Tease

VPs

7

your guild

30 feature:

your guild

32 arts:

An Interview

9

FACULTY REPS

EQUITY DEPARTMENTS

10 food:

Flavours of the Flesh Festival

Perth’s Single Circus

With Stephen Andrews

33 creative:

The Ballad of Bill the Barkeep 34 feature:

12 feature: WOOL STORIES

Ed Gets on Her Soap feature: Box: Kony 2012 36

Not So Gay & Lesbian 14 feature: Fat Tuesday

Faerie Madness 38 creative: 15 your guild:

Words & Images

IN AND AROUND THE GUILD

16

your guild:

STUDENT ASSIST

feature: 17

Gypsy Weddings issues: 18

Living in the Grey Area

20 creative:

Class Act Criminal politics: 22

24

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Cirque du Politique

CALENDAR

40 feature:

Carmen Miranda Fruit Hat Recipe

42 politics:

Congressional Swings & Roundabouts

44 reviews:

Theatre 45 reviews:

Music

47 reviews:

48 advice:

Ask Someone

Games

Better

1 - contents

3/20/2012 5:52:59 AM

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Skydive Express will donate $100 to the H2O Water for the World Project for every person who does a 14,000 ft jump on May 6 2012 Register now! check out: facebook.com/wellwarriors or contact Bruce: 0433 156 595 or Catriona: 0488 209 185

SIFE - Students in Free Enterprise Join SIFE for a ProSocial “Women in Leadership” Brunch

2 - letters to the editor

WHEN: Thursday

April 5th, 9-11am To be held at the Empyrean Function Centre, Northbridge.

For more information, take a look at the ProSocial website:

http://prosocial.sifecurtin.org/

GROK#2_2012.indd 2

Dear Grok, I’m usually a keen reader of Grok but I have to admit I was disgusted and somewhat horrified with the article“Cheer Up” in your issue 1 2012.

As a person who has managed with a mental illness for the last 10 years “Cheer up” was making me seize up.

I’m sorry but what has teenage girls skipping swimming lessons because of their period got to do with mental illness??? Just as much as their small breast that look like tic tacs.

Since when it ok to pull the piss out alcoholics?

Alcoholism is a just as real as mental illness, mind you you haven’t show respect for mental illness or anything else so in your next issue I wouldn’t put it past you to pull the piss out of homeless people with cerebral palsy. God knows those people have been having it easy.

I understand that Grok wishes to be a liberal and forward thinking piece of journalism. However, with articles like this there is a fine a fine line between bad and trashy media and Im sorry Grok but you’ve gone way past it.

Mental illness is a complex issue as it is, and it is articles like this one that encourage the negative stereotype to continue.

Maybe next time consider that just because you have the privilige to write something ‘liberal’ apply a little common sense.

Yours sincerely, Tegan

Dear Tegan, I’d like to say thank you and commend you on being our first published ‘Letter to the Editor’ for 2012. It takes a bold person to take the initiative and act on their compulsion to say something when they disagree with something they hear. It also takes some bold to go up against Aiden :-p No I kid, he is really a lovely guy and has taken the time out here to respond to you.

I guess all I would say is that Cheer Up was a mainly satirical article, and that we are conscious of the impact of (mis)representing sensitive issues. Media is very powerful and can have very strong effects on people. This is why for Issue #1 we were sure to include helplines and information about support services, as we have done so in this issue. But we are very grateful for your feedback and will endeavour to take it on board and continue to strive for responsible writing and representation. We’re thrilled you wrote to us, and implore others to do the same. We don’t just want to talk to you, we want to talk with you. But we can’t do that if nobody puts proverbial pen to paper (fingers to little plastic squares?) and tells us. Tegan, thanks for giving a shit :-) Regards, Hayley Davis.

Hello Tegan, A few pointers, if I may. Of course I ‘may’ though, because I’m an aggressively liberal nihilist on a power trip, using Grok as a masturbatory sheath.

1. My article sought to debunk the spectre surrounding the concept of mental illness.

2. I debunked it by clarifying myths and disinformation surrounding the issue.

3. I’m perpetuating a stereotype?

My writing is steeped in hyperbole and general tastelessness as a means of exposure and stimulating dialogue. And look, it fucking did. But Aiden, you’re just using that as an excuse to use Grok as a cunty carte blanche. Maybe, maybe not. You can’t know my mind unless you’re a real psychic.

Girls do all get their periods during swimming though. They were vigilant in their shirking of low-

intensity exercise. It has nothing to do with the topic, can’t a guy take a shot?

Aident Stingemore.

Dear Grok, I am writing to express my disgust at an article in the most recent edition of Grok, “Cheer Up” by Aiden Stingemore, in which the author mentions everyday anxiety that “everyone” experiences, “like when you worry about whether or not your cask wine is going to be on sale so you can punish underage girls in the sack”.

A recent NUS survey found that the majority of women do not feel safe on campus at night. I know this only because of the posters that have been justifiably pasted all over campus by the women’s department (which, like Grok, exists as part of the Guild) in order to raise awareness. How will this change when even the student magazine, which, according to your own editorial, is supposed to “challenge” and “question”, legitimises sexual assault in this way? University culture in Australia already celebrates rape without the student magazine needing to back it up. Grok is hardly “pushing boundaries” by pandering to the norm in this way. I doubt that many female students, especially first-years, can feel safe at Curtin after such filth was included in the very first edition of the year.

At least put a trigger warning on the next piece of trash you publish that makes fun of survivors of child rape. That way, those of us who have survived sexual assault know not to read the article unless we want to be needlessly reminded of our trauma. Readers shouldn’t have to accept blatant misogyny as par for the course when it comes to student magazines.

And another thing; why does Grok have no “letters to the editor” section?

Sincerely, Lee Rogers Arts III

Dear Lee, Well there you have it! We do have a ‘Letters to the Editor’ section, and voila! You’re in it.

Thankyou for letting us know how you felt Lee, and we do sincerely apologise that it offended you. In no way did we wish to make fun of the survivors of child rape or legitimise sexual assault. As has been mentioned, the article was intended to ironically shed light on how a person can experience anxiety and the stigma that surrounds this mental health issue.

Needless to say, the workings of a busy magazine, tight deadlines, lots of text to edit and busy people trying to do it is no excuse to endorse atrocities like rape. We will endeavour to be better in our thorough looking over of every fine detail and sentence in what goes into our magazine, in order to make deliberate and informed decisions about our content.

I guess the dilemma we face, particularly with discussing such topics that mainstream media often steer away from or don’t deal with so bluntly, is that content even far less controversial than that we are discussing may be found to be offensive by some people. This is particularly true given the extremely diverse audience we have at this university.

Again Lee, we really appreciate you making the effort to use your voice constructively. We will not be the kind of publication to arrogantly stick to its guns and never admit to being at fault. This is why we need people like you to pull us up. So that we can get better!

Regards, Hayley Davis.

3/20/2012 5:53:00 AM

“In Brazil, we grow up with Carnaval. People paint their private parts and go dancing in the street.” Dannielli Marcelino So it’s 3.30am in my as yet sleepless morning and all I’ve been thinking about are puppets, carnies, flashing lights and creepy merry go round music replaying over and over in my head.

It’s becoming hard to distinguish between the coherent thoughts and the admittedly enjoyable images of a puppeteer controlling the rise and fall of my fingers on a key pad. To be honest I think I’ll just power through until the morning lest I turn the lights off and descend into a rocking back and forth motion muttering “Can’t sleep…clowns’ll eat me……can’t sleep”.

That is seriously how tapped this issue has been for me. And delightfully so! The pages that follow are filled with swirling vibrant colours and stories inspired by all things Carnaval, carnivale and travelling carnivals of all kinds. Think feathers, freak shows, glitter, the underground, circus clowns, countercultures, fringe dwellers and Carmen Miranda fruit hats. Ahhhhh yes, they are captured here for you, all for you!

When the theme of Carnival came to be decided as the inspiration for this issue, I found myself reminiscing about a fantastic date I had with a boy a few years back. I was younger and his dreadlocks and dedication to the wilderness had me totally diggin’ him (yes, yes, shut your face. He was beautiful). He told me about how he’d saved up to go to Brazil for Carnival. It was the first time I’d heard of the festival. He said it was the craziest, most amazing shit he’d ever seen. By the end of it he had run out of money and was only just able to get home. On his way back he had a teensy bit of happy white powder (lemon sherbet) left and - being as poor as he was - couldn’t quite bare the thought of throwing it away. Needless to say, once the high wore off coming down both literally and figuratively in an airplane, only to continue doing so under the supervision of customs officials in an office at the airport with no money no passport and no other option but to call his mum, wasn’t quite the final joyride he’d expected. Made for a good laugh though.

If we were to choose a scene with which to set the stage for this issue, it would undoubtably be the scene in Baz Lurhman’s modern take on Romeo and Juliet where Mercutio rambles his Queen Mab speech. “O, then, I see Queen Mab hath been with you. She is the faeries midwife, and she comes In shape no bigger than an agatestone on the fore-finger of an alderman, Drawn with a team of little atomies, Athwart men’s noses as they lie asleep.” - Scene IV, Act 1.

In this scene Romeo, Benvolio and Mercutio are wearing masks at some sort of amusement park before attending the Capulet’s feast. Mercutio, mocking Romeo for not wanting to dance at the feast, produces a small box with a little white pill, branded with an arrow pierced heart - Cupid’s arrow. Patri Friedman noted in her analysis of the scene that “drugs do things that seem strange and mystical…and the powers that be are often frightened of them and attempt (usually without success) to control them.” Romeo cuts short his trip (no doubt as it starts to become unpleasant) by sticking his face in a sink full of water. Then all of a sudden he and Juliet are doing some sort of water foreplay with an aquarium and fish between them and we’re left thinking “What the shit…but whatever…we’ll go with it,” - a suitably, carnavalian attitude.

I guess this editorial is meant to be far from coherent. I’m not always going to lay out a message for you and there are dots to be connected and themes to be discovered that would be spoiled if I were to detail them all here.

So go! On your way! Start your exploration and enjoy our second issue. Oh and by the way, over the course of this conversation a tiny little cricket was crawling on my keyboard. So tiny he looked like an ant. Or she. Or just ‘cricket’. Lets not feel the need to box everything into terms we understand. Just let the little cricket be :-) E.d. aka Hayley Davis.

3 - editorial

Being the innocent geek I was at that time (lets not be in denial, largely still am) all this talk of crazy and drugs scared me a little. I broke up with him on the same day at my earliest convenience, which happened to be in the Mesozoic era of

the WA Museum. Needless to say, this boys’ constant desire to disconnect himself from the main, to counter the norm and experience every physical, uncontrollable buzz - this is what the stuff of carnival is made of. Outcasts. Protests.

Finding somewhere you belong. A joyous, uninhibited celebration of life!

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3/20/2012 5:53:00 AMPM 6/02/12 3:10

If you ask anyone that knows me, one of the first things they will tell you is that I am gullible. I like to think the best of everyone and everything, believing that there is an inherent good in the way that people and society functions.

I want to let you in on the time that I got ‘duped’ the biggest.

Starting off this year, I had an idealistic view of what university is and how it should be run in the best interests of students. To me Universities are a place to come and learn; experience and foster growth amongst students; where lecturers are inspiring and excited; and where the University is supportive of those goals.

Sadly, with the majority of things I have encountered and the conversations I have been having, I have soon found out that Curtin University is a business, and you the student are its customer.

On the one hand, this makes perfect sense. In order to survive, Curtin does need to rely on sound business practices and generate income to keep it functioning at a level that delivers quality education and a positive university experience. But, the one thing that Curtin University is missing is that classic cliché ‘the customer is always right’.

There is a huge disconnect between the University administration and the student experience. The best way to explain what I mean is through the following example – I overheard in a meeting once a university administrator say, ‘You know, this place would be run so much easier if students did not exist’.

Yes, you heard right. How are you supposed to obtain a quality education if there are actually people that work here that think you should not exist? I mean, WTF?!

Universities are under increasing pressure to pump out students with degrees and to become more research focused to compete for federal and private funding. Curtin is no stranger to this pressure. In this vein, courses are being downsized or cut, and more money is being put into ‘illustrious’ industries, such as Science and Engineering (note the two new snazzy buildings they have), and Health Sciences (think of the new medical school proposal). What this means is that Schools/Departments such as Fine Art and Education are being pushed to the wayside and the students within those courses are suffering as a result.

The Guild is supportive of the Art Students in their efforts to secure better conditions and study environments. The students are losing valuable studio spaces in which to work; exhibition spaces in which to display their work, not to mention the enormous ‘added on’ fees for materials. However, the University likes to push the ‘Grad Show’ as one of its premiere events, yet it fails to fund the Art Department to an adequate standard.

I’m also hearing rumblings from students within the School of Education that the classes they are a part of are not meeting the standards they expected when they enrolled to study. Like those within the Art Department, the Education students feel that they are undervalued by the University – which is absurd really, because their course is about educating the future teachers and lecturers of the education system. If they aren’t getting a quality course experience, what hope is there for the the years to come?

So, Curtin University, it’s time to listen to your ‘customers’ and deliver an education that is worthy of the effort and time that students put

Humanities Faculty Rep

Guild Executive Guild President

Ali Kirke p: (08) 9266 2934 e: president@

Education Vice President Jess McLeod p: (08) 9266 2920 e: educationvp@

Activities Vice President Dave Farr p: (08) 9266 4578 e: activitiesvp@

General Secretary Joe Quick p: (08) 9266 2918 e: generalsecretary@

Faculty Reps Business Faculty Rep Noelle de Marigny p: (08) 9266 2764 e: business@

Health Sciences Faculty Rep Keturah Mudhan p: (08) 9266 3392 e: health@

Michael Ball p: (08) 9266 2764 e: humanities@

Science & Engineering Faculty Rep Maz Rahman p: (08) 9266 3392 e: science@

Guild Departments CUPSA Chamonix Terblanche p: (08) 9266 4465 e: cupsacouncil@

Indigenous Department p: (08) 9266 3150 e: indigenous@

International Students Committee Amir Nouranioskoui p: (08) 9266 2910 e: isc@

Queer Department p: (08) 9266 3385 e: sexuality@

Women’s Department p: (08) 9266 3386 e: women@

Ali Kirke Curtin Student Guild President 2012 in. What is best for the students is what is best for the University. The profits that you make today won’t last forever – but the reputation you get on how you make those profits will.

The students are always right.

Ali

Other Contacts

University Contacts

Student Assist Officers

Graduations

p: (08) 9266 2900 e: reception@

p:

Grok Magazine

p:

p: (08) 9266 2900 e: grok@

Housing

Guild Clubs p: (08) 9266 2908 e: clubs@

(08) 9266 7115

Health Centre (08) 9266 7345

p: (08) 9266 4430 International Office p: (08) 9266 7331

Parking

Guild Recreation

p:

p: (08) 9266 2900 e: rec@

Physiotherapy Clinic

Guild Tavern

Security

p: (08) 9266 2904 e: tavmanager@ All Guild email suffixes are: @guild.curtin.edu.au

Guild Reception Building 106F Open: Mon-Fri 8:30am-5pm p: (08) 9266 2900

1800 063 865 (free call) e: reception@guild.curtin.edu.au w: www.guild.curtin.edu.au

p: p:

(08) 9266 7116 (08) 9266 1210 (08) 9266 4444

Dial 5 from any campus phone (24h)

Student Central – Bld 101 p:

(08) 9266 3399

Student Fees p:

(08) 9266 3500

Switchboard p:

(08) 9266 9266

T.L Robertson Library p:

(08) 9266 7166

Uni Counselling p:

(08) 9266 7850

5 - your guild

‘In the best interests of Students’

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12 3:10 PM

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Education Vice President JESS MCLEOD Hi everyone, It’s contradictory, but I was both amused and bored by the RuddGillard circus act. How much paper, ink and time was wasted trying to spell out the difference between Rudd and Gillard? There was plenty of talk of “leadership style” and personality, but when you get to the bottom of it, their policy and agenda is pretty much the same.

That’s why if you don’t like the current state of things, you need to get involved. University is about studying and socialising, of course. But it is also about making a difference.

Activities Vice President DAVE FARR Wow what a start to semester it has been! Pop Up Beach Party and Beach Bash were huge successes. Guess what though, that is just a taste of the events that are coming to the Curtin. Before I tell you about all the amazing events coming up in the next month, I have to tell you about a campaign that is building momentum. The University continues to treat common free time with disregard and schedule lectures in this time which was meant for students to enjoy what campus life has to offer. Free Guild barbeques, live music, OVENT’s and much more are happening during this time and I don’t want you students to miss out. If you have classes during Wednesday 12-2pm then I want to know about it! Send me an email at activitiesvp@guild. edu.edu.au and let’s start getting the numbers to fight this.

G-MUSIC The Guild is proud to present G-Music in 2012 which will showcase the best campus bands and DJ’s during common free time (Wednesday 12-2pm). G-Music is the rebirth of Music @ Curtin which was handed over to the Guild in 2011. We will give campus artists the chance to perform live at Curtin to increase their exposure. If you are an upcoming band or DJ, or know of one, then make sure you like G-Music on Facebook and let us know. Common free time will never be the same again.

6 - your guild

GUILD OP SHOP BALL Find a horrific safari suit or ridiculous puffy party dress in an effort to be “best” dressed at this year’s Op Shop Ball. Salt on the Beach in North Fremantle will come alive with Op Shop treasures on March 30th as the Guild presents another amazing event in 2012. Tickets are $95 for Priority Guild Members and $110 for others. Make sure you rush in to Spotlight Tickets in the Guild precinct to book your table as this is surely going to sell fast.

RELAY FOR LIFE Curtin University’s inaugural Relay for Life event is coming to campus and I need your support in making this one to remember.

Save the 14th & 15th April as days to get together with your mates and raise money to beat cancer. We’ve all been affected this terrible disease and it is time to do our part to find a cure! Relay for life involves teams of 10-15 people who keep a baton moving relay style around an oval for 24 hours to symbolise the way cancer never sleeps, and that those with cancer live with it 24 hours a day. If you can’t make the entire 24 hours that is completely fine, just make sure shifts are organised so you can keep that baton moving! This event is proudly supported by Curtin Student Guild and we will be running a free breakfast for participants on the Sunday morning. So spread the word, talk to your friends and let’s do this!

Dave

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STUDENTS’ RIGHTS So the start of semester rolls on and I’m not surprised to receive complaints of student spaces being swallowed up and turned into office space, tutorials cancelled, overcrowded classes and awful timetabling (with some first year students finishing classes at 10pm at night!).

Higher education has been starved of funds for years. Although a much-needed injection into regional campuses is going ahead, Gillard has guaranteed nothing, yet again, for the rest of Australia’s universities.

With the heads of the university running Curtin as a business and the government refusing to put any funding in, our tutors and lecturers are overworked to compensate. All of this is to the detriment of students.

We want accessible and quality education.

If anyone from the uni admin is reading this: give the art students back their gallery space! Students can e-mail me for more information on the Save the DepARTment campaign.

REFUGEE RIGHTS While money cannot be found for higher education, plenty can be found to fortify our borders and lock up innocent people fleeing from war, persecution, torture and rape. The oxygen-thieving politicians and media want to make this the central issue. It is not. The treatment of refugees is racist scapegoating, pure and simple. Divide and rule is an old strategy, used by unpopular rulers, to distract from their own crimes.

Many refugees flee from places such as Afghanistan, where the Australian government has had occupying troops for over 10 years.

As I write this, news of the recent tragedy in Afghanistan unfolds – a US soldier has gone on a rampage killing 9 children, 3 women and 4 men in their homes.

To legitimise the brutality of war, the occupied people must be dehumanised. The current massacre is not the first, and it will not be the last act of violence committed by Western forces. To legitimise locking people up for fleeing such situations, these people are likewise dehumanised. Refugee bashing is one of the ugly faces of racism today.

Fortunately, I have been pleased to meet students at Curtin who can see this situation for what it is, and they want to do something about it. We are working together in the Curtin Uni Refugee Rights Action Network. We have weekly meetings on Wednesdays. Please contact me if you would like to get involved and help build support for refugees on campus.

MARRIAGE EQUALITY Lastly, the Guild has endorsed the next rally for Equal Marriage Rights, May 12th in Stirling Gardens. Equal Love rallies have played a central role in cohering those who are for civil rights and against homophobia. This has impacted the debate and made it an issue that can’t be ignored. I’ve been involved in this campaign for years, and have seen it strengthen. I encourage everyone to come along. Let’s keep up the pressure. I’ll see you there!

Jess

3/20/2012 5:53:02 AM

Science and Engineering

Business

Humanities

Health Sciences

NOELLE DE MAGRIGNY

MICHAEL BALL

KETURAH MUDHAN

MAZ RAHMAN

Hey kids,

As I write this at the end of week 2, it looks like nothing has really changed at Curtin. Timetables still suck, especially if you’re a Science or Engineering student, and lecturers still insist on deceiving you. For those of you who think you’re stuck with a timetable from hell, take a minute to spare a thought for the unlucky first years stuck in Scientific Computing 101. Who in their right mind would schedule a lecture from 8pm to 10pm on a Monday night, especially considering the university’s own policy about 9pm being the latest a class can end. You would think the uni would have implemented a cut off time into the computer program that organises timetables, but I guess that’s why they dropped the “technology” part of the uni’s name.

Hope everyone is surviving the first weeks of uni, the weeks are definitely flying by! The Guildies have definitely been keeping busy making O-day a massive success, not to mention all the free food that the Guild has been handing out at Wednesday lunches during ‘common free time’, Wednesday dinners at the Tav and Thursday breakfasts.

Hey guys. Last year I made a promise that you would be able to play games online again at uni, and it happened. This year I said I’d make sure the tav sold export.

Don’t mean to blow my own horn too much but IT HAPPENED!

Salutations! I don’t know about you guys, but some recent music festivals and Guild events have my deltoids looking AMAZING (fist pumping FTW). If you don’t know where your deltoids are or what they do, google it, it can be my Health Science contribution to all you non-Health Science people.

And to think, it’s only the beginning of semester. I can’t wait to see what the uni has to throw at me for the rest of the year.

Maz

GROK#2_2012.indd 7

So; if I can I would like to try and change this, which means I need your help. If you are a business student who has a class between 12-2pm on a Wednesday and you would like to have a chance to meet up with other students during ‘common free time’ please send me an email at business@ guild.curtin.edu.au with your name and a quick explanation of why you would like to have “common free time” back!

Until next time…

Noelle

Also if you have any issues with unit outlines or any teaching issues please get in touch. If a lecturer tells you your assignment looks like shit (like one of mine did), you probably need to contact the guild.

If you guys want to book the common room or have any suggestions for new furniture or appliances just drop me a line and I’ll see what we can do.

Last but not least, if you want a few giggles and you don’t mind a bit of coarse language chuck Donald Glover standup in a YouTube search and forget about uni work for forty minutes.

Balls out xx

Hope you all have registered a Relay for Life team! It’s for a fantastic cause and also makes for an awesome weekend.

Otherwise, sponsor your friends (or the team with the hottest people) and contribute towards funds that go to supporting efforts of the Cancer Council.

Also, the Careers Centre is continuing workshops in the next couple months for Health Science students looking to increase their success and employment prospects. Jump onto www. career.curtin.edu.au/students to find out more, and I highly recommend you do! I believe it to be MEGA important that students from our Faculty not only earn a degree (and have a frickin awesome time doing it) but that they leave Curtin as well equipped as possible.

If there is anything at all in your university experience that is causing you to experience intense emotion i.e. anger, joy, ecstasy etc. please drop me a line, visit me at 106f or throw something at my window (it’s the one with the Hawaiian lei I was gifted by a random, large and very affectionate dude at Beach Bash).

Nothing is too big or small (unlike various anatomical aspects of the human body) to approach me with, and I will use every ounce of my efforts to resolve your problem or support your endeavour.

Peace Out xoxo

7 - your guild

And let’s not forget the delightful rumours spreading around the staff rooms that the Guild is ok with lectures occurring during common free time. Um, last time I checked, we’re not, and perhaps if you want to send out an email to all students saying that a colleague had spoken to a Guild representative who gave their ok for that particular lecture during common free time, it’ll be nice to name said Guild rep, because I can’t quite think of a single person around the office who would approve such thing. Rest assured, I shall get to the bottom of this mystery, and no doubt this phantom Guild rep would feel my wrath for dispensing such misguided approvals, especially to my faculty.

Something on the mind of business students (me included) is the loss of common free time for CBS units. Students in previous years have been given a time between 12-2pm on a Wednesday known as ‘common free time’ to allow for organisation of meetings for group assignments or just having catch up drinks with mates at the Tav. The only classes that are supposed to be scheduled during common free time are those classes that are impossible to schedule otherwise. I don’t know about you guys, but I feel that CBS has slacked on this for the year. This is extremely irritating.

Anyway, if anyone is looking to start a club it’s really cool to get a few more off the ground in humanities. There’s money available for you for events and printing, and it’s a great way to meet people.

3/20/2012 5:53:02 AM

Lets Relay for change!

Relay For Life Curtin University Get a team together for the inaugural Relay For Life Curtin University event. It’s 24 hours of fun which raises vital funds for Cancer Council research, support, education and information programs.

Edinburgh South Oval 14 & 15 April 2012 11am - 11am

Registration is easy! www.relayforlife.org.au For more information email relayforlifecurtin@gmail.com or call 0422 556 236 GROK#2_2012.indd 8

Celebrate Remember Fight Back!

Relay For Life Curtin University

3/20/2012 5:53:04 AM

FREE ENGLISH CHAT SESSIONS

Communications technology has shrunk the globe, but there remains one large boundary to all this togetherness: language. So far education can only spread as far and as fast as they can find people speaking a common tongue.

The language barrier and culture shock has become a big issue for international students but it is a natural phenomenon.

In order to tackle this big issue for current international students and future international newcomers, the ISC aims to run free English chat sessions on a weekly basis.

These Classes will be supervised by a native English speaker to correct students’ errors, and help them with their English language proficiency.

Bldg 201.507 Wednesdays 12pm to 2pm.

AUSTRALIAN RULES FOOTBALL Interested in learning more about Australian culture and taking part in a traditional Aussie sport? Then Australian Rules Football might be for you!

Join in an excing new programme which involves skills, drills and then the thrills of a game every week.

Sessions take part on Wednesday evenings from 5:30 to 6:30 at South Oval, near Kurrajong Village. Both males and females are welcome!

Contact Anthony at

do@perthdemons.com.au for more information.

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QUEER DEPARTMENT

With the semester beginning the Queer Department has been abuzz with people coming in to find out what we are all about. O’day was a success with pages of names on our email list who want to find out more about our events and services.

O’day was also a success in the number of people who signed the petition for equal marriage rights.

Building for the May 12th rally is underway. The Queer Department hosted the first Equal Love meeting for the year and the rally is looking to be great, but that of course depends on all of you showing up. There is a lot of work still to do to build for this occasion so send an email to the Department if you want to get involved. Likewise send in an email if you have any suggestions, questions or queries.

COME TO THE RALLY 1pm May 12, Stirling Gardens

Although it might seem like an inevitability, the fight for equal marriage rights for same-sex couples is not over yet. It may seem nonsensical to the majority of the population that there is not marriage equality but this majority support has not transferred into government policy. Even the great leap forward that is the Labor government’s proposal for a conscience vote has left supporters of marriage equality in disappointment.

Over 65% of the Australian population support same-sex marriage and the momentum is growing. Celebrities and politicians are pledging their support across the nation. Magda Szubanski revealed her sexuality in order to combat homophobia and highlight the inequality for LGBTIQ people in marriage. However, this growing support does not mean that we are safely on the road to equal marriage rights.

Last year at the ALP national conference in Sydney the motion passed for the allowance of a conscience vote on the issue of same-sex marriage. At the same time Australia also saw the largest rally for LGBTIQ rights in its history.

The reason why both of these events

transpired is the same. Since the introduction of the ban on marriage in 2004, which was met with very little resistance, support for equal marriage rights has grown. Samesex marriage has become a topical issue because year after year committed supporters have pushed it forward into the mainstream consciousness.

The issue has not come to the forefront of popular political debate because supporters have written letters to their members of parliament or because the media barons feel like it would be nice if the queers won this time. The reason why same-sex marriage rights is such a topical issue is because the continued impact that all of us have when we go out onto the street and demand equality. This active fight against the homophobic marriage ban encourages others to speak out and proves that the bigots are in the minority. It also acts to show the government that this law is more of a liability than an advantage. This is the central reason why Labor conceded to a conscience vote. The political line that marriage is between a man and a woman wouldn’t fly anymore with the majority of the population and the ALP knew it.

Although the conscience vote is a result of the hard work of equal marriage supporters it is not the end of the fight. The conscience vote has already deflected attention away from the ALP. They have backed out of making the final decision and now blame the Liberal Party for not allowing the vote. The answer to this roadblock is simple: stuff the Liberals- we want equal marriage rights!

We need to rally together to demand LGBTIQ rights. We need to show to the government that ignoring the majority sentiment, that the ban on same-sex marriage is a homophobic, archaic and unjust law, and a political liability. We need to show the ALP that we haven’t fallen for their tricks. The conscience vote has not delivered and Labor has fallen short. WE WANT FULL MARIAGE EQUALITY! Sam Cavallaro is a co-queer officer, convener for Equal Love WA and a member of the Socialist Alternative.

Curtin Student Guild Equity Space (bld 106F) provides a safe and friendly place to hang out, get involved, get support, and socialise with people who ‘get’ you. Pop in to check it out, or contact the departments as listed below.

EQUITY DEPARTMENT CONTACTS (All Guild email suffixes are @guild.curtin.edu.au)

CUPSA Chamonix Terblanche p: (08) 9266 4465 e: cupsacouncil@

Indigenous Department p: (08) 9266 3150 e: indigenous@

International Students Committee Amir Nouranioskoui p: (08) 9266 2910 e: isc@

Queer Department p: (08) 9266 3385 e: sexuality@

Women’s Department p: (08) 9266 3386 e: women@

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INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS COMMITTEE

3/20/2012 5:53:06 AM

Flavours of the FleshFestival Belinda Teh

It´s Saturday afternoon of Carnaval week in Paraty, Brazil.

Me and my travel companions put on the oldest, tattiest clothes we can find, then take the leisurely walk barefoot down to Jabaquara Beach. We then proceed, with thousands

of other people, to duck-dive (or are violently tackled) into mud the consistency of chocolate YoGo. Everyone is drunk. There a huge crowd of mud-zombies raving and snogging each other in front of a stage blasting Brazilian music on the beach.

It is, without a doubt, the weirdest thing I have ever done in my life.

What I experienced was called the Bloco da Llama, which is one of the more unusual ways to celebrate Carnaval in Brazil. The most famous Carnaval celebrations are in Rio de Janeiro, which the Guinness Book of Records recognized as the biggest party on the planet in 2010. The Sambadrome becomes the epicenter of the Carnaval spirit, showcasing spectacular floats, samba dancers and samba schools blasting their respective songs. 80,000 spectators and 30,000 performers party from 9pm at night until 8am the next morning. And this is every day for a week we are talking here.

The word ‘Carnaval’ comes from the Latin word carne vale, or ‘farewell to the flesh’. Back in the day, Romans would let themselves run amok one last time before Lent, when they’d have to abstain, contemplate on God and fast for 40 days. This morphed into a crazy weeklong celebration where they would indulge themselves in music, food, alcohol, sex and other naughty things. Probably not what the Church had in mind.

Needless to say, to get through all of this partying, Carnaval-ers need some serious fuel which comes in the form of ridiculously delicious street food. Here’s a few of my favourites:

1. Caipirinhas The national cocktail of Brazil, these potent cocktails are literally on sale everywhere you look, and they are deadly as heck. Caipirinhas are essentialy 3 ingredients: lime, sugar and cachaça (Brazilian spirit made from sugar cane), so it´s basically pure alcohol you´re drinking.

If lime doesn’t quite tickle your fancy, you can ask for a Caipifruta made with your tropical fruit of choice – all of the caipirinha stands are decorated luridly with fresh tropical fruit: watermelon, pineapples, guavas, coconuts, papayas, strawberries. I´m partial towards watermelon, but after about 2 caipirinhas, my body always seems to go blissfully numb and everything starts to taste the same.

2. Espetinhos The Brazilian equivalent of a hotdog, espetinhos are a sinfully salty, juicy type of Brazilian barbecued sausage on a stick, coated in manioc flour and served with hot sauce, fresh tomato

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After 2 hours of rolling in gloppy filth and generally creating a scene, we all congregate behind an enormous truck blasting thumping caveman rhythms, and march towards town chanting “OOGA - OOGA - AH- AH”, body printing cars and hugging poor, defenseless clean people on the way. Children of tourists hang over the side of their beachfront hotel balconies, wide-eyed and fascinated (some of them burst into tears) wondering, mummy why there are a thousand orcs marching down the street. At the end of our procession, firemen standing on top of their trucks pulverize the

entire drunken, dirty crowd with industrial strength hoses.

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3/20/2012 5:53:07 AM

Image: Michael Hey / Alex Hey

salsa or both. On first glance, espetinhos look sketchy to say the least - usually they’re cooked through first, and then heated up on hot coals upon request. But if you can try to push past paranoia of life threatening food poisoning, you’ll be able to enjoy one of the most popular items of Carnaval street food on offer.

3. Queijo Coalho There’s no getting around the fact: it´s cheese on a stick. But we all know that less is more.

The cheese commonly used has this incredible consistency: it’s mozzarella-ishly stringy and smooth, yet somehow isn’t oily, and when cooked, an addictive crust forms on the outside that is usually coated dried oregano. These are on sale everywhere, even on the beach – look for the man carrying around a black metal box and a plastic crate on his head, yell out to him and he will trot over to you and set up camp right in front of you to cook you a freshly grilled queijo coalho. And all for about AU$1.20 a pop.

Did I mention I love Brazil?

4. Cerveja Yes, it is true that beer becomes cheaper than water in Brazil during Carnaval. An agua

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fria will probably set you back 2 or 3 reis per bottle. Whereas for beer, it is not uncommon to see a vendor with a large “SKOL: 3 FOR R$5” sign propped up in the air. The rule of thumb with Brazilian beer is that you have to drink it icy, icy cold. Warm Skol, Brahma or Itaipava quite frankly, tastes like ass, but when chilled to perfection, drinking it in the hot Brazilian sunshine is so refreshing it makes you gasp with delight.

5. Yakisoba Japazilian (no, I did not make up that word) food is huge in Brazil (Fun fact: Sao Paulo, the economic capital of Brazil has the biggest Japanese population in the world outside of Japan). The fusion of these two cultures brings interesting results, one of them being a Brazilianified Yakisoba cooked by street vendors to fill the bellies of hungry party-goers. Notable differences between this stuff and the authentic Japanese version is a disproportionate amount of onion, cabbage and chicken to noodles – but take my word for it, it´s delicious.

Oh, and if you´re ever in Brazil, check out the nearest Japazilian menu – you´ll find deep fried sushi rolls, and cream cheese in just about everything.

6. Agua de Coco There is nothing that beats walking up to a bare-chested, strong looking Brazilian man holding a machete and asking him to crack open a sweet, cold coconut for you. Not only do they taste glorious when you´re parched and sweaty and disgusting from partying so much, but they´re also packed with electrolytes for rehydration. Once you´re done, go back to your bare-chested, strong looking Brazilian man with your empty coconut and he´ll crack it completely open for you and whittle a spoonshaped bit of coconut skin for you so that you can scoop out the sweet flesh.

But all the food aside, the best thing about Carnaval? It is all-inclusive. There are no social barriers, no boundaries. Straight or gay, rich or poor, young or old (I´m talking 50 year olds getting drunk side to side with 16 year old Brazilian girls), balding or bootylicious, Gringo or Carioca - Carnaval is a party for all. It is very much come one, come all to eat, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink and be merry.

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Image: Michael Hey / Alex Hey

3/20/2012 5:53:11 AM

Hayley Davis

“Don’t you hate it when you’ve been talking about something for years but then some young, cool hipster comes and gets all the attention?”

Jon Stewart

Seventy nine million, one hundred and thirty one thousand, two hundred and fifty seven views at the time of writing this article. 79, 131, 257 and rising. Absolutely…fucking mind blowing.

In case you’ve been living in a bubble inside a bomb shelter inside a giant babushka doll, then by now you have surely heard of this campaign.

The 29 minute-long Kony 2012 video was unleashed upon the world by Invisible Children on March 5.

It reached 100 million views on youtube faster than any other video in history.

OK, so this Joseph Kony fellow. Deal is, he’s the head of the Lord’s Resistance Army, a guerrilla group in Uganda that has abducted more than 30,000 Ugandan children who he then converted into child soldiers or sex slaves (Yes this is a complex issue. Yes this is a grossly short summary. That’s why there’s a half-hour long video about it. Inform yourself if you need to).

Many of these kids were taught to mutilate others faces and even kill their own parents. In 2005 he was indicted by the International Criminal Court and a warrant for his arrest was issued for crimes against humanity.

79 131 257 views. 30, 000 Ugandan kids.

29-minutes. All these statistics!

And here’s a few more...

One child dies every 3.6 seconds from hunger and entirely preventable diseases.

That’s 24,000 children every day

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168, 000 every week 8, 736, 000 each year ….and we have enough food to feed every person in the world one and a half times over.

Heard it all before right? Bony little African kid.

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Yeah yeah we know, we know. We know that more money is spent on finding a cure for baldness than on that - oh what’s that mosquito disease?… whats it called?….malaysia? Oh no wait that’s a country. Anyway it kills around 2.7 million kids every year right? Shit man is that bad or pretty stock standard? Eh, who gives a shit anyway?

A large proportion of the population would roll their eyes at these statistics. In fact for many, these figures wouldn’t induce even that dramatic of a reaction.

Are you fuming by now? Yes you, I’m addressing you in a nonsensical, one directional conversational kind of way in the hope I’m making you feel a little uncomfortable.

Are you pissed off? Are you a Kony 2012 supporter thats expecting me to rip into the cause because its cooler not to care?

Ahhhhh I can see so many of you now.

Steam starting to shoot out of your ears because you think I’m trivialising these issues. Disrespecting the disenfranchised because I don’t think someone else’s issues are my problem. Shichyeah I got lucky in the geography lottery, and all I have to say to you all you others sittin below that poverty line is UnnLLLLLLUUUUUCCCKKKY! If you’re still reading now, good on you. Some others would’ve fucked off the minute I mentioned Kony, and if they didn’t they sure as hell would’ve when I mentioned hunger. And thats ok. They are as entitled to their opinion and to have their opinions heard as any other. No opinion is necessarily right or wrong. Its just an opinion. A perspective. Hitler was pretty outrageous, but he had a point right? He had a vision for a better world. It didn’t include Jews. … (crickets)

Ok well I don’t actually believe that, but anyway...

Let me explain my point. In no way do I wish to belittle the atrocities committed by Joseph Kony in Uganda and neighbouring countries. It is horrific. I’m not even going to put a ‘but’ in that sentence. It is plain and simply horrific.

So yes these issues should be shocking and it should be outrageous for people when they become aware of it.

The unfortunate thing is….this issue IS…NOT… NEW. In fact, Invisible Children made 11 videos before this mother and have been trying to garner support for the past ___ year.

I’m going to say what many of my friends in the NGO sector have tactically avoided saying, lest they be accused of belittling an issue they also care deeply about. I’m going to outline some of the frustrations they have in a hopefully semi informative, analytical way.

Here are some other pretty interesting stats I heard this week. American teenagers spend: 31 hours per week watching TV 17 hours listening to music 3 hours watching movies 4 hours reading magazines 10 hours online That’s ten hours and 45 minutes of media consumption every single day.

That a youtube video was able to break through that media clutter and achieve upward of 79 million views is absolutely unprecedented.

Demanding 29 minutes of someone’s time would usually be considered arrogant and also nigh impossible based on the usual attention span of people online. No matter what your opinions

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The point is, Invisible Children have identified that to generate the kind of large scale reaction they were hoping for, the key to doing so was through effective distribution of creative, compelling media.

Those were the keys. It didn’t matter that this story had been around for years. The trick was in the execution. A clear, compelling message delivered at just the right time, in the right places and in the right networks. They built up real relationships with their supporters presenting around 3,000 events each year in schools and other gatherings. Not only did they bother with using Twitter, but they did it well! As Jason Mogus of communicopia.com explains: “The person to person power of these social networks is what launched this video into the stratosphere, with the media eventually getting on board after it got huge online.” The Kony campaign used free media platforms until it was so gigantically big that it demanded coverage in the mainstream media.

Though this media campaign is unprecedented, it was not the first of its kind or the first to exemplify the power of social media and networks. Earlier in the year we had the Stop Online Piracy Act or SOPA campaign and last year there was much talk of the role social media played in the Arab Spring.

Malcolm Gladwell coined the term ‘Tipping Point’ in his book The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference. He defines the tipping point as “the moment of critical mass, the threshold, the boiling point,” where a movement

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becomes an epidemic and spreads like viruses do. Of particular relevance to the Kony campaign and of Invisible children’s initial following is the importance of people Gladwell describes as ‘Connectors’. These are people “with a special gift of bringing the world together…with a truly extraordinary knack for making friends and acquaintances.” These people generally have social networks of more than 100 people and are thus able to pass ideas, messages on in an extremely effective capacity. There were most likely some of these sorts of people among Invisible Children’s initial following.

The Kony 2012 campaign epitomises what online media, including multimedia journalism can do when it is working well. It becomes a conversation. Even the backlash is part of it.

I believe that while calls for the media to be unbiased are steeped in a worthwhile desire for a balance of opinion, it is a somewhat unrealistic expectation, especially in a hard news article in a newspaper that is 250-500 words long. It takes away the responsibility from the audience (the de-coder, if you will). Everything is biased. The very language in which you communicate your message contains unconscious messages and meanings to do with semantics and ideologies.

When an Arabic speaking friend of mine was trying to describe something to me a while back he stopped in frustration and said “Hayley there’s just not an English equivalent to what I’m trying to say.” I would argue that there’s some responsibility on the part of the consumer of media to seek information beyond one media source, to critically analyse what is given to them and to not take what is packaged as ‘news’ as gospel.

If you want your opinions heard then do something about it. Write letters to the editor, to your local member of parliament, talk about it at the dinner table (food fights are always fun!). Though one recommendation that was given by a colleague of mine is this: “Whether you’re rejecting or supporting something, do it with integrity and an informed opinion.” A tenet of journalism is that evidence is needed to substantiate claims, particularly those which profess to be facts (truth is more of a subjective term). If you want your opinion to have weight, most people require you have something to back it up or base it on, or to at least be well informed about what you’re talking about.

If anything that appears in this magazine gets your goat up, offends you, say so. Don’t expect me to be sympathetic if you get angry about this article or people who bag out the Kony campaign or get angry that it has done so well….if you then don’t constructively do anything about it.

With Lisa Scaffidi tactically screening the Kony documentary at the Northbridge Piazza and allocating a wall for activists to cover during the Kony ‘Cover the Night’ event on April 20, it will be interesting to see how effective it is in containing the fun to be had by campaigners throughout Perth. There’s no doubt that this campaign will continue to unfold in impressive and surprising ways…..once it gets its pioneering leader back from hospital. Jason Russell’s recent hospitalisation due to rambling and running naked and apparently masturbating through the streets of San Diego - stunt to further the campaign or effects of tireless passion taking its toll? You be the judge.

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on child soldiers, poverty, sovereignty, the Ugandan military, human rights abuses, American paternalism or Jason Russell’s wanking - this is a campaign worthy of attention, study and discussion.

3/20/2012 5:53:15 AM

I noticed at children’s parties, that the kids were dressing up as glittery princesses in tacky, Made-In-China costumes...

Faerie Madness Cassie Rees

Do you ever indulge in a few new-fangled-edgy dance moves? Are you a fan of blowing bubbles, playing bongo drums, or just spreading all that love you have to give?

Then welcome to the totally weird and wonderful world of the EcoFaeries, where you will be greeted with the oddest bunch of handpickled faeries you’ve ever laid your creepy eyes on!

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The Eco-Faeries are a social organisation based in the bohemian hub of Fremantle created by the freakishly energetic Faerie Cara. The project started four years ago after Cara went gallivanting around the world and reading up on Celtic Irish folklore; “I noticed at children’s parties, that the kids were dressing up as glittery princesses in tacky, MadeIn-China costumes. I wanted to teach kids about the traditional faerie ideals of creative expression, individuality, and sustainability all while living their dreams.”

Their aim is to bring together the community to all work towards a more sustainable, earth-friendly planet. They promote ideals of diversity and individual expression, while living an environmentally conscious life. They accept and

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adore all creatures of varying ages, ethnicity, and cultural and spiritual backgrounds, while educating kids on how to love Mother Earth.

The faeries gather at local community events, holding art and craft stalls that are 100% ecofriendly. They perform at notable events such as Southbound, while promoting a drug and alcohol free party-zone. “A lot of our generation feel the need to get drunk or take drugs in order to have a good time, but we find that at parties and events, we’re normally the craziest ones there! I find it’s more important to be getting high on life and connecting with others, rather than taking drugs or alcohol.”

High on life indeed! Whatever magical potion this faerie is taking, I seriously want in: while performing the mesmerising “Green Faerie Show” on stage, educating a circus of kids, and joining a carnival of community events; this faerie still has energy to host “Talking Green” on Foxtel Aurora broadcasting nationally about personal wellbeing and the latest sustainability tips, writing for the UK based magazine “The Magical Times”, PLUS she’s just recently released a free streetpress magazine for under 12s promoting sustainability and being one with nature. Are you out of breath yet?

So what’s next on the cards for these hyperactive, dreadlocked, glimmering faeries? “We’re just hoping to continue to work in the community, join more members, and hopefully become bigger and bigger!”

So, if you’re interested in becoming an Eco-Faerie for yourself, simply go to www.ecofaeries.com and sign up for a mere 35 bucks!

Want to catch your very own faerie? Head on down to the following events to join in the fun, and get covered in magic faerie dust!

Saturday March 31st

Kalamunda Show 1-3pm

Sunday April 15th

9.30-11.30am carine Open space Babys Prom

Children can get up close to music being created by the WA youth Orchestra. free event.

April 27th

Nearer to Nature Enchanted Environment workshop 10am-noon

image:/superkidsparties.com.au/Faerie_Cara_the_green_ faerie.html

3/20/2012 5:53:16 AM

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3/20/2012 5:53:23 AM

Better than Bacon, Tougher than Chuck Norris, And More Awesome than Giant Mutant Cyborg Dinosaurs with laser cannons!

Leaving Home for the First Time Many of you might either have just recently moved out of home or might be at least considering the possibility. Living independently for the first time can be a tricky business and it is definitely worth some consideration before you jump head long into the adventure. Below are some basic tips for you to consider. If you have any other questions, please call into Student Assist to discuss your options.

First thing to consider is, is it financially viable?

Living out of home can be an expensive exercise, particularly on a student income.

Some people mistakenly believe that living out of home will automatically make them eligible for the independent rate of Youth Allowance but this is not the case and thus may well affect your plans.

Also, whenever you first start a new household, there a range of expenses to consider such as Bond (usually 4 week rent), two weeks rent in advance, letting fee (one week’s rent if you rent through a Real Estate Agent), setting up your food cupboard, buying (secondhand) furniture and household equipment., maybe contents insurance, as well as telephone and electricity set up costs. Then there are the ongoing costs, bills, food, rent and all the other stuff you probably already deal with, transport costs, entertainment expenses etc.

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With out wanting to scare anyone, money plays a very important role in managing to live independently and it will be very important for you to do a budget to see what you can afford, not only initially but also from week to week!

Next thing to consider is who do you want to live with? If you do choose to live with friends… remember that best friends aren’t always going to make great housemates. Make sure you lay the ground rules early so that everyone knows what to expect. You might have a rule about keeping communal areas tidy or having the dishes washed at least every other day for

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instance. These may seem like small things but unless you can all come to some agreement about how the household will work, you may well see a strain put on some valued friendships.

When looking for a house there are a number of places to check out. You can browse the ‘To Let’ page in the Real Estate section of The West Australian on Wednesdays and Saturdays, or websites such as www.rentfind.com.au or www.realestate.com.au. You can also use the University Housing Service (Building 103) which provides lists of rooms and houses to rent in the local area (living close to Uni will save you lots on transport and parking costs). When looking at a place make sure everything is in working order, check the hot water is functional and ask whether it is gas or electricity - a gas connection will save you plenty on your regular bills. Obviously, the place needs to suit your needs as well.

Know your rights and responsibilities as a tenant. When you first move out you will more than likely be dealing with either a private landlord or a Real Estate Agency. The Guild has information booklets available that tell you all about the legal side of renting and what you can expect when you first become a tenant.

Student Assist is the welfare department of the Curtin Student Guild. Mandy, Simon and Juliana are there to support all students, postgrad and undergrad, with any personal, welfare or academic issues.

Their services are free for all Curtin students and cover things like • Leave of Absence • Deferral from Study • Assessment Appeals • General Appeals • Appealing terminations • Plagiarism and Academic Misconduct • Withdrawing or Changing Courses • Career and resume help • Centrelink difficulties • Discrimination and harassment • Finances • Health and wellbeing issues • Time management help • Study skills advice • Tenancy advice • And more….

Student Assist is completely confidential and will help make your life at University that little bit easier. You can drop by Guild Reception (Building 106F) or you can make an appointment at a time that is convenient to you. Call Reception on 9266 2900 or email reception@guild.curtin.edu.au

Call into Guild Student Assist to discuss your options if you are considering moving out of home for the first time, or if you have done so recently and would like to talk about any tenancy, financial or other concerns you might have.

Other helpful services:

Tenants Advice Service: 9221 0088 Department of Consumer and Employment Protection: 1300 304 054 University Housing Advisory Service: 9266 4430

3/20/2012 5:53:24 AM

Gypsy Weddings Katie Snowdon

Image: http://miminewyork.blogspot.com.au/2011/05/my-big-fat-gypsy-wedding.html

Let me introduce myself, although I’ve lived out in Australia since June, I’m still pretty much a dumb POM and have no idea if the TV show ‘ Big Fat Gypsy Weddings’ gets air time over here, but given that its produced by the UK’s Channel 4, I assume not.

So let me explain; this show (which is about it air its third series) follows dress maker Thelma Madine and her ugly collections of some of the worst dresses you will ever see in your life (I’m not exaggerating) as she helps women from the diminishing travelling community create the wedding of their dreams.

From the moment a baby girl is born into the travelling community, preparations begin for her big day. Most gypsy girls will marry around the age of 16 or 17, and it is uncommon for girls to not marry before they reach their twenties. As the gypsy view on sex before marriage is very strict, once they have found a suitable partner to date, engagements and marriages quickly follow. In fact in one of the first episodes of ‘Big Fat Gypsy Weddings’ follows the wedding preparations of a couple who got engaged after one month of dating and married four months later.

The dresses of choice are so big and heavy that they permanently scar the hips of the lucky girls that get to wear them; and some come with so many fairy lights sewn into layers and

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layers of skirts that the bride has to be followed with a fire extinguisher for the whole of her big day. Travellers are very proud when it comes to discussing money, so never reveal the exact cost of these creations, but apparently most of these ‘masterpieces’ cost 5-figure sums.

Now, let’s not forget the all important grooms, whom often choose to remain anonymous in the series, in fear of their identity as a traveller affecting future career prospects (In this travelling community, this doesn’t affect the women so much as they primarily stay home to look after the kids and keep the trailer tidy.). In fact, according to the show, many girls leave school at around the age of 11 to help tend to their siblings.

The men, seen as stereotypically masculine, will engage in these activities as little as possible, preferring to work, supply a place to live, handle the finances and occasionally conduct shirtless ‘honour fights’. Top quality viewing, right?

Prior to watching this programme all I knew about gypsies was the Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame representation – Esmeralda: the outcasted, free-spirited temptress is not quite the gypsy portrayed in this series. The closest you get to the famous raven-haired siren in this series is the bright coloured clothing and provocative dance moves of the young gypsy women, although in this instance it’s done for fun rather than street entertainment. Then there’s even kids belly-dancing in outfits that are either inspired by Britney Spears’ circus tour (I can only assume – I don’t know much about Britney’s fashion sense, other than she rocked the bald look way before

that bird Kanye West dated did), or were bought from Club X. Who knows?

Whilst there has been some criticism of the way Big Fat Gypsy Weddings may seem to tar all gypsies with the same brush, I’m pretty sure most viewers are able to take it with a pinch of salt and there is a little insight as to why these bizarre traditions came about – mostly due to a strong sense of pride in their communities. It seems like a very competitive lifestyle, where ambition lies in putting on the best, most extravagant show, especially on your wedding day.

But it’s not all women out-doing one another and men brawling (although it is mostly); there is also insight into how young men may find a bride. Cue the infamous ‘grabbing’ courtship routine - in which teenage boys literally force girls to kiss them (through pinning down, hitting and of course grabbing). If this non-consensual activity occurs, they score a date. Yay! Whilst I’m not entirely sure how acceptable this method of obtaining it a date is, or how successful, it’s surprising to think that this behaviour is viewed as normal in some parts of the UK. The whole show is basically a circus of mad traditions, odd behaviour and awful dress sense. I can also, proudly, add that at least one episode of the last series was filmed in the town of Hatfield, England where the Uni I am on exchange from is located; so I can’t urge you enough to check it out! Go now! http://

topdocumentaryfilms.com/big-fat-gypsy-weddings/ You won’t be disappointed!

17 - feature

When I think of ‘carnival’ the first thing that comes to mind is hideous florescent costumes... and then I think: “gypsy weddings”. Inspired!

3/20/2012 5:53:28 AM

Living in the Grey Area Chloe Papas

According to the Australian Gender Centre, transgender is defined as: ‘Anyone who lives, has lived, or wants to live as a member of the opposite gender (sex) to their birth gender.’

Though this is the most common definition, transgender spans a number of identities, and cannot be narrowly defined. The two most common representations of trans individuals are male to females (MtF), and females to male (FtM). Males to females are born with male genitalia and characteristics, but identify as female. Females to males are born physically as female, but mentally are male.

In terms of sexuality, there are many different forms of sexual attraction associated with trans (and with all) individuals. Trans people can be heterosexual, homosexual, or somewhere in between.

Claire Manchesi is the Head Coordinator at WA’s Chameleon Society, an organisation dedicated to supporting and educating individuals who identify as transgender, transsexual, intersex, or choose to cross-dress.

Claire is in the process of transitioning from a male to a female, and currently lives her life as a female. She explains that though, as mentioned, there are a number of representations of transgender, male to females are the most common.

18 - issues

“Every foetus starts off as female, unless it gets hit with the SYR [sex determination] gene. If that happens between week 6 and 15 of the pregnancy, the foetus mutates to male and gets hardwired to male. In our case, the body changes but our mind doesn’t…

You are conditioned by society; they look at your genitalia and say you’re a boy: they can’t look between your ears and say ‘oh, they’re transgender.’ They don’t realise that there is a female inside there.”

Up until the 70s, terms like transgender were barely used in the public sphere, and even now there is very little in the way of education and awareness. Claire illustrates that it can be extremely difficult to identify your gender and sexuality as a transgender individual, and it can be extremely daunting, particularly for those with no education.

“You’re born that way and you don’t realise what happens, and then the urges - your feminine urges- start to come out and you don’t know

GROK#2_2012.indd 18

what’s going on, you don’t have a clue. You see something pretty and you want to wear it.

As any girl does, you know. And you’ve got this internal conflict all your life. “ Transgender people often start out crossdressing in an attempt to quash what is unfortunately seen by much of society as wrong, and many try to ignore their non-assigned gender identities altogether. Though crossdressing is often seen something sexual, and it can be, it is most commonly used as a form of stress relief. Claire has been married twice and has six kids from her second marriage, but explains that her second wife wasn’t able to continue being married after Claire began to cross dress more frequently and accept herself as a woman.

“That’s how it happened with me - at the time there wasn’t the education around for me to realise what was going on. Now I try to provide the education. I probably started cross-dressing at about 12; on and off you fight yourself. There were periods for years in between marriages where I’d say right, that’s it, I’m never going to do this again, I’m a bloody man. I was never a man! But that’s what you say to yourself.

Basically, I’m a lesbian born with a bit too much!

While I was in that stage of denial I met my second wife. There were other problems with the relationship, but with all the pressure of my transgender bubbling over, in the end the marriage just collapsed.”

Kayleigh is a 28 year old student at Murdoch University, and is a member of the university’s Queer Collective. She identifies as transgender, and remembers wanting to be a female at a very early age, but never fully understanding why until later.

“It’s been a very long process for me, I have had constant and long running doubt about it.

I remember when I was about 9 or so wishing to be a girl, but I never really thought ‘I am a girl.’ I’d always assumed I was a boy because everyone told me I was boy and they wouldn’t lie, right? So, really, I guess I didn’t really accept myself as a transperson until I was on hormones. I’m kind of surprised I got there, too.”

Kayleigh grew up in Victoria and attended a Catholic boys school before moving to Perth for university. She began to transition socially and through hormones soon after moving interstate.

Her friends from Victoria were supportive of her decision and her new friends had only ever known her as Kayleigh, but her family found it a little tough.

“My family...Well it’s hard for family I guess.

They’ve been supportive, but accepting is a long time coming I think. My parents struggle to understand the ‘why’ behind it all. But they are, at least, supportive of me. My sisters have been really supportive of me too. I’ve been lucky in this I guess. Others have it so much harder in this respect.”

Kayleigh was also married prior to fully accepting herself as female, and much like Claire, did not have a sexual relationship with her female partner.

“While I am still very good friends with my ex, there’s no relationship there anymore.

And if there were, my sexuality shifted as I transitioned, so now I’m actually more interested in guys. Not exclusively interested though! It’s all confusing, even now a few years down the line.I do wish I had a relationship with someone, I miss that intimacy, closeness. But I don’t know how it could happen being trans. I was asexual prior to my transition. In that I had no interest in having sex, and didn’t experience sexual attraction. My ex-wife shares this. I slowly realized that I am sexual, I want to have sex. But I can’t because of current genitalia arrangement. It’s incredibly frustrating.”

For trans individuals who do not wish to live in their assigned gender roles, there are a number of options in terms of physically transitioning to the gender they identify with. For people who accept themselves at an early age, hormone blockers can be prescribed to delay the onset of puberty so the individual has time to decide whether they’d like to undertake surgery before puberty makes everything a little more difficult.

Transgender people who wish to transition later in life often begin by taking hormones to enhance the physical characteristics of the opposite gender, then sometimes go through a series of operations to fully become male or female – depending on their personal preference and financial position.

Claire has been living as a woman for a few years now, and wants to undertake a complete physical transition - but it isn’t an easy process.

“I’ll probably do what most people do and go to Thailand, there are huge hospitals and great facilities there - far better than Perth hospitals.

They deal with the operations on a daily basis.

There are no problems, it’s all sort of lined up before you get there.”

Kayleigh has also been living as a woman for a number of years, and hopes to undertake

3/20/2012 5:53:29 AM

If we could move away from the idea that men are men and women are women, we would be better placed to accept transsexuality.

“I do, definitely, intend to physically transition, in so far as surgery. It’s just a matter of being able to afford it. These kinds of surgeries are simply not covered on Medicare or anything.

It’s considered, paradoxically, an “elective surgery”. However, most of the psychiatrist and endocrinological parts of the Australian medical world seem to accept the idea that transgender is not a choice. But how can the surgery be an “elective” if being trans is not inherently a choice? It makes no sense!”

There is currently no financial help from the Australian government or Medicare for transgender individuals, and very few places in the country where sex reassignment surgery and other related operations are performed.

Some other countries offer assistance through their national healthcare systems, including California and Minnesota in the U.S, and some provinces in Canada.

Not only is there a distinct lack of medical help for trans people, but there is an obvious absence of public education surrounding sexuality and gender in Australian schools.

Standard ‘sex-ed’ curriculums generally consist of labelling reproductive organs, watching ‘How Did I Get Here’ films, and putting a condom on a banana. There’s rarely mention of sexuality or non-heterosexual sexual attraction, and Claire believes that this is a huge part of the problem regarding discrimination towards trans individuals.

“There needs to be significant education as early as possible: if that doesn’t happen, if a person grows up the way I grew up and the way most of us grew up - not knowing who you are and what you are, and not knowing what the likelihood of social scenarios are going to be in your life.”

Conduct a quick search on popular blogging site Tumblr, and you’ll find hundreds of posts from young transgender people journaling their experiences. Some talk about their transitioning, some about taking hormones, others chronicle their ‘coming out’ to parents and friends. But there is a theme running through most posts: depression, primarily due to a failure of social or familial acceptance, or to not being able to acquire the funds or materials to appropriately transition.

According to research conducted in 2007 surveying a cross-section of 253 Australian

GROK#2_2012.indd 19

and New Zealand transgender individuals, 87% of people questioned stated that they had experienced stigma or discrimination, and one third had been threatened with violence on the basis of their gender. 53% had experienced symptoms of depression regularly, and one in four had experienced suicidal thoughts in the weeks surrounding the time of the survey.

The WA and Federal governments are slowly implementing policies and projects to combat discrimination towards transgender individuals.

The WA Gender Project, founded in 2006, are ‘a lobby, education and advocacy group [working] to advance the human rights of TTI people and their significant others.’ Earlier this month, the Australian Human Rights Commission became part of a statement submitted to the UN Human Rights Council, outlining a need to: ‘address human rights violations on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity.’

The Lesbian, Gay, Bi and Transgender (LGBT) movement has grown considerably larger and louder over the past decade or so, and we see frequent media coverage regarding the push for equal rights, in particular gay marriage.

However, it isn’t difficult to see that the movement, or at least the mainstream media’s coverage of it, focuses a little more on the L, G and B, rather than the T. There is little to no coverage of transgender individuals, except for occasional representations of cross-dressers, often in the form of drag queens.

When asked why she thinks this is, Claire states it is due to a number of aspects: lack of public education and understanding, lack of interest, and fear on behalf of the trans community.

“It’s a fear, it’s a prejudice. When you first come out fully, and for those who don’t present that well or who are reasonably easily observable as having a male background... Well, women are great, females are so much warmer, so much more inviting. Whereas males are not. For men it’s all about masculinity, and you know, ‘I’m stronger than you.’ “ When asked the same question, Kayleigh states that there is somewhat of a cycle going on between the public and transfolk, and that more support is needed from both the general public and those within the LGBT community.

“The public isn’t very accepting of trans people, so trans people feel uncomfortable speaking up. And because trans people don’t speak up the public doesn’t get any more accepting. It’s a big issue that isn’t helped by the LGB part of

LGBT not really speaking up in defence of trans people. In fact there is a small number of them that are transphobic, which boggles the mind to be honest. You’d think they, of all people, would be the most accepting!”

There’s also very little representation of transpeople in broader entertainment. A few positive examples include films like Boys Don’t Cry or TransAmerica, but as Kayleigh illustrates, trans individuals are often negatively represented in the media.

“Greater acceptance could come more easily if there weren’t so many cheap jokes about trans people in sitcoms and the like. How many times have I seen a sitcom go for the cheap “guy in a dress” joke or what not. While transpeople are seen as little more than a joke by the media at large it will be incredibly difficult for transpeople to gain any sort of real acceptance.”

Kayleigh also believes that there needs to be more flexibility in sexual education and teachings regarding gender and sexuality, and that the general public needs to understand that gender isn’t black and white.

“It would also be good if people could start to understand sex and gender less rigidly.

Accept that these things can change and shift, over time. Sexuality and gender can be set in concrete for some people, but for others it can change and shift many times over time. If we could move away from the idea that men are men and women are women, we would be better placed to accept transsexuality.”

It is evident that without an appropriate level of public education, both at school level and as adults, plus anti-discrimination policies at national and international levels, transphobia will continue to occur. Remember that the fight for LGBT rights encompasses trans and intersex people as well; and really, anyone who doesn’t identify with the gender or sexuality binaries.

“We have a saying,” Claire states, “that gender is between the ears, and sex is between the legs.”

If you have concerns about your gender or sexuality, need someone to talk to, or are feeling depressed, contact: Chameleons WA: chameleonswa@yahoo.com.au W.A.T.S.U.P Facebook Group Lifeline: 13 11 14 Freedom Centre: 9228 0354

19 - issues

physical transition as soon as she can come up with the money.

3/20/2012 5:53:30 AM

Class Act Criminal Hayley Davis

Ok, so do you know what I’m gonna do for you tonight? Only cause’ your all such a wonderful

audience. I’m gonna tell you a little story. It’s a story bout how I came to be such a big star. See, I was this small town girl, but boy was I talented. I could write and I could sing. I was at the theatre every weekend, and if I was real lucky, I’d wait round back of Pegasus Players, just before the vaudeville, and I’d see the showgirls get chaperoned in.

And some day, I was gonna be one of them showgirls, with the cameras flashin every which way I looked. This one time, I just managed to slip in backstage. And you know at first I didn’t think I was seein right. Cause it was nothing!

I didn’t even stay for the finale, I’d already seen enough.

Enough to tell me that I had what it took to make it right to the top. I wrote more than thirty acts that night, one after the other, pourin out like there was no tomorrow. It was the stuff of genius I tell ya! Better than anything those garter grabbing, money flingin, cigar stinkin men had ever seen.

I could see it already: my name in flashing lights, every moment, every step, every scandal on my way to the top.

By the time I’d finished writing that night, it was dark. Not a person in sight, not a sliver of light to be seen anywhere.

My father was due home any second, and he didn’t like me writing shows or dancing in my panty hose, and he reminded me with every backhand up above the knee.

You should’ve seen how he snuck in through the door that night, and before I knew it he threw me on the floor.

My journal was still lying on the table, to where he moved and stroked the pages in a way I’d seen before. “I thought I told you to get rid of this”. And I followed his eyes to the fireplace. I knew what he was doin but he was too quick, too cunning. And he didn’t hesitate.

Oh please, y’all look like ya in the presence of some sort of madman. You accuse me as though you have some kind of proof, but you don’t. All you have is my art. For it is art, isn’t it? Well folks, shut your traps and let me finish my story, cause the next part’ll really flip your lid and pop your top and you’ll be beggin me for more. For this one chief you can give me a four four time, with a steady two beat ground beat on the bass drum. Oh yeah that’s it, just like that. See ladies and gentlemen, I got to the top, and I did what any clever lass would to climb right up that ladder. But slowly, ever so slightly my genius began to tip toe madness, and the stage tiptoed reality until I couldn’t quite tell which was which. And you know they gave my show a big title too. Oh come on I know you know it let me hear it!? “Biggest act in town: Betty Joe Murder Case”. See truth is, I’m the most famous, most sweetest little Jazz killer there ever was. And the audiences are loving me. And I’m loving them, and I know they’re loving me for loving them. Oh and what was it that Roxie used to say? Oh that’s right and aint it true, “That’s cause we didn’t get enough love in our childhood”.

So ya see?? You see why I did it, why I shot the bastard again and again and choked him with my garter just for luck to be sure I’d finished the job. Was about time that wrinkly old prick got what he deserved, all those years he’d told me I wasn’t pretty enough to make it but that I better be going and getting bills for sex just to pay the debts and still he’d come home stinkin drunk and wantin me to put out more…….

Oh……..

Ooopsie…..

But I, I’m not guilty…I, I, I swear, honestly I’m not….I was just trying to entertain y’all…

The Murder Trial of Betty Joe 18 April, 1920

20 - creative

He’d thought himself so clever when he burned those pages. But see he didn’t know the consequences of confining a genius to the asylum of the mind. Cause one day he would see me perform, and he would realise that he was the joker and the jest. The fool that had been so unwise as to bring abut his own demise. Oh not literally of course, that’d be too obvious, too easy. See the most famous of my performances, it was a thriller. A mystery turned into a cabaret. I played a young girl, and one night my father had me struck up against a wall. Luckily he was grippin the neck of a bottle, so I just managed to slip my

hand into the drawer where I’d hidden a pistol. Oh and you should’ve seen me move. One two three four five and bang! Oh and then, then I brought the audience to fits of laughter as I showed ‘em how I’d hid the body from the nosy neighbours down the way. ‘N all I had to do was flash my sweet and innocent smile and no judge could think me guilty. Clever huh?

GROK#2_2012.indd 20

3/20/2012 5:53:31 AM

21 - creative GROK#2_2012.indd 21

3/20/2012 5:53:32 AM

David Scaife

Just over 120 years ago, a bunch of trade unionists standing under a ghost gum in Queensland decided to form a political party.

And thus we have the Australian Labor Party.

Almost 100 years later, two French-Canadian men decided to form a travelling circus. And thus we have Cirque du Soleil.

Coincidence, you might say…

Coincidence that these events happened in countries on opposite sides of the globe?

Coincidence that they happened in different centuries?

22 - politics

Coincidence that they’re completely unrelated?

I’m not so convinced! If we’re honest, we all know it’s no coincidence.

It might look like these two events have nothing in common, but they’re really more closely linked than one might think.

don’t have in common are the physiques. Incredible feats of (factional) strength, unbelievable contortions (of the truth), and, mind-boggling (political) sleights of hand abound.

Now, I know that the shenanigans in federal parliament over the last few months will have left you shocked and awed. Amidst all the wonder and glamour, you might be wondering how they all did it.

What’s the trick? What’s the prestige? What’s their secret?

Well, consider me the answerer of your questions; the unraveller of riddles.

I’ll declare my bias early on – I’m the President of Young Labor here in WA. And that’s precisely why I’m qualified for this job. My position description reads: keep the kids entertained while everything goes wrong; guide the audience through the performance.

I’m like a bad warm up that happens in between every act. But, I’m all you’ve got, so settle in.

Consider me: your ringmaster.

In fact, the only thing that federal politics and Cirque du Soleil

GROK#2_2012.indd 22

3/20/2012 5:53:34 AM

Act 1 The Juggler of Griffith The first act in this circus is a goody. It’s hard to follow and the coordination required is the stuff of legend. I’m talking, of course, about the work of Kevin Rudd.

Rudd has a reputation for many things: for defeating the stale Howard Circus, which sought to underpay its workers and strip them of basic conditions; for juggling an agenda that ranged from apologising to the Stolen Generation to dropping a carbon pollution reduction scheme; for throwing the occasional, conceited tantrum.

He showed that, even in difficult economic times, Australian workers ought to have job security. At the same time, Rudd was reforming our hospital system and making moves to radically reduce Australia’s carbon emissions. It was a big juggling act, and it looked convincing… for a while.

But things soon got out of hand. With so many reforms in the air, Rudd was bound to drop something at some point. And he did.

That ‘thing’, of course, was the carbon pollution reduction scheme. Facing tough competition from clowns around the world at the failed Copenhagen Conference, Rudd chose to shelve the scheme.

Given that his skill was in juggling, and not backflips, Rudd’s decision saw the bottom drop out of his support. The polls dived, and with the gloss gone, a new truth revealed itself.

Rudd had never been a team player. Happy to keep everything up in the air on his own, he had no one to turn to when everything went wrong.

Act 2 The Strongwoman of Lalor That brings us more into the present, and on to our second act. With all types of problems raining down on the Federal Government, a new leader emerged; a strongwoman with authority and promise.

I won’t go into the detail of what happened when Julia Gillard replaced Kevin Rudd as Prime Minister in 2010. As I’ve already said, Rudd’s act had been falling apart, even though it had been really excellent for a while there. The audience went off him, and his fellow entertainers didn’t much like him. So, along came Gillard.

Now, here’s an act that’s all about feats of strength. Tasked with a difficult election and a brutal foe in Tony Abbott, Gillard muscled her way across the line to minority government with the only qualification our democracy requires you to have: a majority of support in the House of Representatives (which was provided by two conservative, country independents, a Green and a Tasmanian renegade).

Rather than trying to emulate our first act, however, Gillard sought to present a new one: she’d take really big ideas and lift them one at a time.

Having to negotiate with the Greens in the Senate and conservatives in the House, Gillard made the decision that she had to pick up one of the important, heavy ideas dropped by our previous

GROK#2_2012.indd 23

act. Action on climate change reappeared in the show, but this time as a direct price on carbon.

might be a good improvement on the historic one already implemented by Labor.

It’s an important reform, which will benefit the environment and our economy, but it hasn’t been loved by the crowd. Nonetheless, and against the odds, Gillard has managed to get it up.

However, I’m just not totally convinced by the act. Can I believe a performer who opposes important economic reforms like carbon pricing and a mining tax as “great, big taxes”, while also promising a parental leave scheme funded by taxing big business?

On top of that, being the first minority government in Australia for decades hasn’t come without its challenges for Australia’s very own iron lady.

With misogyny rife (think: “ditch the witch”) and a bunch of positive, but unpopular, policies weighing her down, Gillard seemed to buckle under the workload. Her approval ratings fell dramatically and talk of a challenge started up. In politics, even the smallest sign of weakness can be fatal, and in this instance, our juggler decided he wanted another turn in the limelight.

That brings us to the leadership spill of last month, where Kevin Rudd failed overwhelmingly to unseat Gillard as Prime Minister. Hopefully, the performance that I’ve guided you through over the last two acts tells you why.

It’s because Julia Gillard isn’t afraid of a fight.

She’s a hard worker who’s respected by her colleagues, and she’s also very successful at bringing together people with differing views.

Faced with a deeply unpopular mining tax, Gillard managed to sort out a compromise with major stakeholders within days. It’s testament to her leadership and consensus-building skills.

It’s also because Federal Labor saw the need to end childish, personality-based politics. Even if the audience aren’t giving rave reviews now, Federal Labor decided that it needed to stick to its principles, rather than keep changing its performer every time there’s a minor accident at the circus.

Federal Labor decided that the woman who’s delivering the National Broadband Network, protecting the environment and standing up for working Australians is exactly the act that Australia needs right now.

You get to decide whether they made the right decision at the 2013 election.

Act 3 The Clown of Warringah We haven’t seen Act 3 yet, but it’s sure to be an interesting one if it ever comes about. Tony Abbott is half-decent slapstick in Opposition, but his tilt at the Prime Ministership could be something else entirely.

Now, I don’t actually hate all of Abbott’s policies.

In fact, I think his paid parental leave scheme

It sounds like a nice idea, but I suspect I’ll be gravely disappointed if I buy a ticket. It’d be more a “now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t” magic trick than anything else.

And while we see plenty of bad acts in politics, that’s the type of act that I really can’t be bothered seeing.

Finale By now, there’s probably a few of you wondering when it will all end. The show just keeps going, and it seems to be getting more ridiculous and childish. And even when we thought all was said and done, that nothing more could embellish this twisty circus act, alas! There was one last curtain call.

On February 27, Kevin Rudd challenged Julia Gillard for the Labor leadership. “That’s why I’m here today because I believe that to do the best for Australia and Labor things have to change,” he said. Unfortunately for KevinO.....Just Kevin, the challenge turned into a farce and he’d clearly been mislead, misinformed or lacked judgement about the numbers in his favour. He was defeated 71 votes to 31, then he quietly took up his place on the back bench as promised. The Prime Minister then closed the act, promising “I can assure you that this political drama is over and you [the public] are back at centre stage where you should properly be.”

Alas, welcome to Cirque du Politique: it never ends. (And in defence of politics, I often feel the same way about Cirque du Soleil.)

But, it can change.

Like any good show, politics needs new ideas and performers to keep it fresh. Rather than dismissing it as something you can’t be bothered with, exercise the privileges of living in a democracy!

For those of you sitting in the stands, get in the ring! If you don’t...You’re just a grumbling spectator at a particularly crappy circus.

If you think any clown could do it, why aren’t you?

Davic Scaife - Young Labor WA President

23 - politics

Ringside, you can probably remember some of these achievements better than others. Rudd’s act at the 2007 election was genius (remember Kevin07?) and, for a while there, it only got better. In office, he showed our generation that it’s possible to make it through the Global Financial Crisis, while also ensuring a fair go in the workplace.

3/20/2012 5:53:37 AM

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

26 27 28 29 Wicked Wednesday @ the TAV

2 3 4 5 Easter Egg Hunt OVENT ABC - Anything But Clothing @ the TAV

Easter Bash @ the TAV

9 10 11 12

16 17 18 19 Wicked Wednesday @ the TAV Jay and Silent Bob Get Old @ the Astor

23 24 25 26 ANZAC Day (uni closed)

Burt Bacharach with WASO

30 1 2 3 Guild Rec: Bar Course

Guild Rec: Bar Course Wicked Wednesday @ the TAV

24 - calendar

Guild Rec: Bar Course

GROK#2_2012.indd 24

3/20/2012 5:53:38 AM

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

30 31 1 TAV Friday

Synchronised Swimming National Championships

6 7 8

ster Bash @ the TAV

Good Friday 2012 Fremantle Street Arts Festival

Passover 2012 Fremantle Street Arts Festival

13 14 15 Relay for Life

20 21 22 TAV Friday Bluejuice @ Capitol

27 28 29 Retro Night @ the TAV

West Coast Blues and Roots

Easter Sunday 2012 Fremantle Street Arts Festival

Relay for Life

Supafest RTRFM’s In the Pines 2012

Step Up For MS 2012

4 5 6 25 - calendar

TAV Friday

GROK#2_2012.indd 25

3/20/2012 5:53:39 AM

The Power of a Game Adil Cader

26 -- creative sport

Its 7pm on a incredibly cold Saturday evening in November in the small island country known as the Kingdom of Bahrain. For almost

a year now the country has gone through the most devastating of political turmoil, a bloody civil uprising which has left many civilians dead. For months now, the country has been featured in controversial human rights reports, disturbing images on the news of violent and brutal clashes between protesters and riot police. The Arab spring phenomenon started in Tunisia. It was based on Bahrain’s majority Shia revolt and protest against the government and the monarchy, who are minority Sunni (Shia and Sunni are two divides of Islam).

As the start of the match approaches, thousands of Bahrain supporters, wearing the team colour of red and carrying the national flag gradually enter the stadium. Patriotic chants are sung by supporters, flags being waved, people from all over the island jam packed into the stadium to watch the team play. Its hard to believe whilst sitting in the stadium, that the country is going through any form of civil turmoil. All of a sudden, it doesn’t matter which race, which social class and where you’re from. For the next ninety minutes, this match unites a country into one, and its one concern is Bahrain’s victory. It gives the people of a civil war torn country something to be proud of, something to cheer, some sort of morale to life an entire nation when its going through one of its bleakest phases.

It seems that all there is for people to do on a Friday or a Saturday night is to take to the streets of the capital in Manama, venting their anger by setting cars alight, carrying offensive boards, vandalising property and terrorising civilians and police. Even though the country’s population is only around 1 million, Bahrain, like its Arab counterparts is being torn apart by the division between the Sunni and the Shia. All of a sudden, this once beautiful country in which to live and work, is now almost impossible to travel within.

The scent of teargas in the air, burning tires and violence make it difficult to move around this homeland. The divide is evident, hanging in the air. But tonight, in Isa Town that’s not quite the case.

Kick off time approaches and the players march out onto the field. As they walk out the entire 40,000 capacity seated stadium cheers them on. It seems that tonight that these footballers aren’t just perusing the role of sportsmen, but rather ambassadors or even soldiers fighting to put their country’s name on the map and for the happiness of its citizens. Politics is put aside.

There’s no place for it on this pitch. The complete country has come to a standstill as they watch the eleven proud Bahrain footballers take to battle against Iran. In crescendo, the entire stadium goes up in chants as the Bahrain strikers enter the penalty box and shoot for goal; only to be silenced by the acrobatic saves of the Iran goalkeeper.

The wonderful game. It is the one thing which tonight no matter which part of Bahrain one comes from, whether Sunni or Shia, the game will unite. The big prize as it’s called, the qualification to the FIFA world cup as is at stake. Out of the 200+ countries that play the game only 32 will get the one in every four year chance to compete in it. It’s the qualifiers for the 2014 FIFA World Cup in Brazil, the glamorous tournament watched by millions as the worlds best compete for the ultimate trophy; and what, with a country of only one million, could be a better healer to the political wounds of a nation?

Fast-forward a bit, and the full time whistle is almost approaching as the score is deadlocked at 0-0. The entire Bahrain team pushes forward, attacking. Only victory would be enough to guarantee them a place in the final round of qualifying. In harmony, the entire crowd screaming and trying to rally them on. Others are more nervous, quietly biting fingernails as they face the prospect of elimination; hard to believe that this would be so stressful to face considering the civil bloodshed the nation has gone through. Bahrain star striker Ismail Abdullatif launches a counter attack on the Iran defence, only to be fouled just outside the box and for Bahrain to receive a free kick in the dying seconds of the match. Everyone now in the crowd is on their feet, its now or never for their country, its their only chance now to win the game and bring pride back to the country and give them something to be passionate about.

Free-kick expert Faouzi Ayesh steps up to take the kick and it is evident the absolute pressure he

Tonight’s game is a do or die clash if the Bahrain National Team are to progress to the final round of qualification. If ever a victory for the team and more importantly the nation was needed, it would be tonight’s match. What is more, is that this game is against arch rivals Iran, adding even more spice to the contest as these two countries face off both in the sporting and the political arena as well.

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is under; carrying the weight of his entire country on his shoulders. For the next minute, it will be him who has the chance to uplift the morale a nation or the guilt of letting them down. For the next minute, he is both sportsman and politician.

The whistle blows and Ayesh runs up to take what should be the final kick of the game. …..GOALLL!!! The ball curves past the keeper and into the back of the net. Its an unbelievable moment. Bahrain snatching victory out of nowhere. The crowd is ecstatic, erupting in joy, defining fireworks the only thing to top the volume of the cheers. The tiny island nation of Bahrain more important securing victory over Iran and winning their place in the final round of FIFA World Cup qualifying.

Bahrainis of all races, take to the streets of the capital, ignorning security warnings and celebrate till dawn, some so overwhelmed tears come from their eyes. The war torn country from a few hours before seemed all but a nightmare from this celebration that now prevailed.

It is true, football is a beautiful game. It was perhaps the only thing that could give respite to these civilians from an all too consuming political trauma. Perhaps it’s only when a nation is stretch and bruised that the power of a sport to unite can manifest. And more importantly the significance it has had in helping to heal the wound of an unstable nation. Who could ever forget the fairy tale of South Africa during the 1995 rugby world cup, when South Africa had just gone through decades of civil tension and Apartheid. The South African Rugby team (pre tournament underdogs) went on to lift the 1995 world cup in front of their home crowd. As a result putting decades of civil turmoil to rest and helping to unite a war torn country. More recently, in Libya the country’s national football team went against all odds to qualify for the 2011 African cup of nations. Libyans all over the world celebrated something to be proud against the tarnished images of their in the media. And of course the All Black victory in the 2011 Rugby World Cup (sorry Wallabies). After New Zealand had witnessed a devastating earthquake in Christchurch that had left hundreds dead and homeless, the New Zealand rugby team went on to lift rugby’s ultimate prize, and along with it the spirit of a nation.

Quite simply astounding, that after such shattering and distressing events, at times all it takes is eleven individuals on a sports field to bring a country back to is feet!

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Images: Adil Cader

3/20/2012 5:53:42 AM

The Art of Tease Hayley Davis….

The 1920’s music blared and old school glamour was teeming from wall to wall.

Stepping into the beautiful Fremantle town hall, this was the best dressed crowd we’d ever seen! Hair had been in curlers. The lads donned suspenders and were looking dashing. They had all turned out for the WA heats of Miss Burlesque Australia. “Now sit back, relax, and watch some titties,” was the welcome from the boho-jazzy looking MC, topped with a smile full of decaying teeth from ear to ear.

“And remember, the more noise you make, the quicker they take it off!”

Without any delay the competitors were introduced. Ruby Slippers, Mixi Mitosis, Bella Bowtie, Monet Petit and Sugar Du Joure - to name just a few of the glamourous vixens that would grace the stage this evening. They each performed one Traditional and one Neo Burlesque routine, with those shortlisted from the first two rounds going on to perform their unique show before one was crowned Miss Burlesque WA! This entertaining art form has made a triumphant come back of late. From New York to Perth, the art of tease is peppering theatres and hens nights everywhere. This year the Sugar Blue Burlesque troupe and academy is even launching the first Perth International Burlesque Festival!

But what do we make of this art!? Where does it come from and what does it mean? How on earth was it a significant part of changing roles and ideas about women in society when no burlesque show is complete without a woman bouncing her boobs in such a way that the tassels on her nipples move in perfectly synchronised circular motions.

(As an aside, watching a master - or rather mistress - of this move is truly mesmerising and impressive).

For many burlesque conjures up ideas of ‘strippers walking a runway to a bump and grind beat’. Sugar Blue like to distinguish the two, explaining that while stripping is primarily about revealing nudity, burlesque is an entertainment art, based around dance, musicality and the art of tease.

“Despite the fact that every audience member has their bare hands on display for all to see, the tension built up by the tease, the anticipation of catching a glimpse of her naked wrist, her palm, her fingers, mean every audience member is spellbound!” - Sugar Blue Indeed, Robert G. Allen notes:

“Without question...burlesque’s principal legacy as a cultural form was its establishment of patterns of gender representation that forever changed the role of the woman on the American stage and later influenced her role on the screen. . . The very sight of a female body not covered by the accepted costume of bourgeois respectability forcefully if playfully called attention to the entire question of the “place” of woman in American society.” - Horrible Prettiness: Burlesque and American Culture (Univ. of North Carolina Press, Chapel Hill, 1991), pp.

258-259.

But it’s not only the girls who are getting all the attention nowadays. For the first time in 2012 boylesque performers were able to compete! There were only two in the WA heats Jon and Johnny and they also happen to own a business together called Slanty Eyes Unlimited.

“The competition is stiff. I’ve checked!” Was Jon’s introductory line as we had the pleasure of chatting to the gentleman before the show. “We wanted to take our clothes off in public without getting arrested,” Johnny proceeded to explain. “We’re pretty much sluts for attention.”

Outside of Burlesque, Jon is a magician and Johnny trains six days a week for his other calling as ultimate strong man The Astonishing Johnny Domino. The boys say that Perth is unique in many ways, not least of which is quite a limited audience. “Every show needs to be different…you have to mix things up. You can’t repeat acts the way you can over east.”

Improving confidence was not so much a drawcard for the boys, more so that burlesque is just “A whole lot of fun!”

Jon said. “Our egos are getting more inflated though.”

By the end of the night, the floor was littered with so much glitter, playing cards and confetti it was a wonder no body had had a sequin induced choking fit from it landing in the audiences wine glasses. After an incredible showcasing of traditional burlesque, fusions of ballet, turkish dance and even a Napoleon Dynamite inspired unique piece, the judges had the difficult task of deciding a winner.

Contestants were judged on the quality of their routine and their accuracy to the period’s style. For the Golden Age, performers had to include the four signature moves of the period: the Bump, the Grind, the Shimmy and the Burlesque Walk. For the Neo Burlesque props gimmicks and back up dancers were permitted. Overall emphasis was also placed on the attention to styling. Performers were encouraged to invest not only in their choreography but also the physical appearance of the show. And what a visual delight we were treated to! From nipple tassels to elaborately boned and ruffled gowns housing pistols, garters and corsets, each performance surprised you even more than the last.

Of course, there could only be one winner. Cecile Mimieux and Ruby Slippers took out third and first places, with Ruby DeLure taking the title of Miss Burlesque WA. This sassy lass who capped off her performances with a lifeguard inspired piece takes her inspiration from the likes of Liza Minelli, Bernadette Peters and Gypsy Rose Lee. And of course how could we forget the very first Mr Boylesque WA. The Astonishing Johnny Domino just pipped Jon Madd for the title. The performers lived up to their Perth reputation supporting each other and encouraging everyone throughout the competition. After all was said and done, and the glitter swept up and the town hall doors closed, Jon Madd was sure to publicly acknowledge his business partner’s victory: “Congratulations Johnny, it was an honour to come so close to your behind…

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Perhaps another element to why Burlesque is considered to be positive for women is it’s inclusivity for women of all shapes, colours and sizes.

“Not only does burlesque teach you to love yourself, but the whole style is flattering for absolutely anybody,” said Becky Page, otherwise known as Kitty Litteur the reigning Miss Burlesque Australia 2011. “We have a saying. If it doesn’t jiggle, you aren’t doing it right.”

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3/20/2012 5:53:44 AM

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image: Hayley Davis

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3/20/2012 5:53:45 AM

Perth’s Single Circus Abby Hutchinson

When my fabulous editor advised another Perth-ect lady can be narrowed down to a certain type of guy. Below are a few of my most this issue of Grok would be frightening and favourite dating encounters… focusing on a “circus” theme, images of former dates and dweebs 1. The Opportunists were immediately conjured in These guys just can’t help themselves. They’re my mind, forcing me to relive the oiled up on beer and there’s a ravenous monster excruciatingly bad dates of times tucked underneath their heavily aftershave past. Forgive my Sex and the City doused clothes; ready to pounce.

I’m sure all of us gals have had an absolute inspiration, but for single girls, stranger have a cheeky grab as he walks by, our former romantic connections that that’s all it takes to score for generally read like a circus line up. presuming the night. Hey, it may be for some girls, but it These men, boys, dicks – whatever you want to call them are sitting on a sort of hypothetical ‘Single Circus’ shelf of Perth, posed and awkwardly awaiting their next romantic encounter with one of us ladies in the city. That’s the issue you see gents; women talk, and your blustering, fumbling antics and half-arsed attempts to get us into bed are not the sweep us off our feet tales of wonder painted in our minds from the likes of Jane Austen or even, dare I say it, Twilight.

The trouble with Perth is, the famous six degrees of separation can generally be halved down to three, and it’s easy over cocktails or Facebook mutual friends to learn who knows whom, and just as easy to work out who has dated whom.

Whether you’re pissed and leering lovingly on a girl you’re hoping to take home, or dropping a midnight text of “what you up to?” (Subtlety clearly not your strong point gents), we’ve heard all the lines, got all the texts and had enough arse grabs in clubs to last us a lifetime.

Grinding on a gal you’ve just met is not the stuff of romance boys, nor is acting standoffish and coy in front of others when you’re sweet to her when you’re alone.

No thanks boys.

2. The Go Getters One of my worst dates was with a sailor who shall remain unnamed, who took me to a bar full of other navy personnel who ogled as I walked past, demanded I buy him a drink (which I don’t mind, but be polite about it if you’re trying to sleep with me?), and then had an argument with me for an hour about where the taxi rank was. A newcomer to Perth, he wouldn’t accept where I said the rank was. I was right of course, and after a date that had felt like the frustrating end of a bad relationship, he demanded cab money (I lived half a km down the road), then begged me to come home with him and the second I stepped into my house I had a text: “I had an amazing time tonight, I’m really keen on you, can’t wait to see you soon.” Ten minutes later: “Why’ve you not replied? Want to come see me tomorrow?”

3. The Socially Awkward’s

His outlay of all his flaws, his lack of social skills accompanied with a feeling that I would be entering a courtship of perpetual loneliness, awkwardness, and above all, bad, blundering sex, gave too much insight into his virtual created world/ I’m a self confessed geek myself; love to read, and completely understand people’s love for video games, but to be provided with a blow by blow account of why you’ve never drank, don’t have friends and hesitation towards all things social is hardly a way to sell yourself to a potential girlfriend.

I felt the lack of chemistry with my bad dates had spoken volumes – but that’s the difference between men and women, we want more than a tolerable relationship, and a man’s primary concern is with his downstairs member.

You don’t have to become whipped to be a gentleman, you don’t have to succumb to chick flicks and overloading your lovely lady with chocolates and flowers to have your way with us, (though some gals might enjoy these perks), but you just have to care, and be genuine. If you’re thinking about her, let her know. Don’t get mixed up with the chick flick/dick flick dating bullshit film codes of the likes of the “wait for 3 days to call, play hard to get, sleeping on x date” rule.

Just do what feels natural, and I can guarantee your lady/lover will be pleasantly surprised.

There’s many more “types” of guys, as there are gals, but the main thing to remember when you meet someone, is to be yourself, and disregard all the bullshit dating codes of conduct we’re told are essential to success.

Another guy opened with: “I didn’t have many friends in high school, that’s why I’m so into video games now.” He then asked if I’d ever had

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I would say the typical kinds of experiences girlfriends and I have shared or the typical kind of guys that seem to be eagerly awaiting to jump on

certainly doesn’t work for me. I was once in Paramount and literally had 6 guys grab me all at once – a sort of dancefloor ménage a sept?

a speeding fine, to which I nervously answered, and to top it off: “Have you ever woken up not knowing where you are?”

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3/20/2012 5:53:45 AM

...the arts are finally beginning to be given a brighter spotlight on an eagerly awaiting stage

An Interview with Stephen Andrews…

Abby Hutchinson

Perth’s cultural events are expanding. In the most isolated city in the world, it’s easy to feel removed from the arts, and the exciting movements existing around the world. For too long we’ve felt left behind, forgotten about, even lacking culture.

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However, the City of Perth, and some creative individuals’ endeavours are working hard to create noise and expression for us all to enjoy in our beautiful city. In recent times Perth’s cultural web is expanding and pulling more people into it’s charming and ever expanding nook. From the Fringe festival, to the hub of Burlesque, Circus and local band scenes, to Rooftop Movies and Poetry Slams, the arts are finally beginning to be given a brighter spotlight on an eagerly awaiting stage.

I sat down with Stephen Andrews; a Perth local performer has been involved in the Western Australian performance scene for a few years, associated with notable acts such as Cirque du Soleil and most recently, Perth’s Twisted Vaudeville circus.

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Stephen was a John Curtin graduate, and has spent time in New York, training further in dancing.

Stephen’s talent, passion and tenacious attitude towards his performance areas are key to his success, and living, dancing, shining proof that chasing dreams you are passionate about will reap the benefits.

Q. What’s it like to be part of the performance culture in Perth? Is the small size limiting or beneficial?

A. Since Perth is such an industrial driven city I

think it’s great to have support and a strong push for the arts to grow. However at this point in time there are limited opportunities for performers.

The corporate season and the odd gig here and there is not enough to live off and majority of us have to supplement income by working another job.

A heap of the circus performers in Perth are employed through affiliation and not so much their high level of skill. In saying this if you work hard it is noticed and you eventually find the diamonds in the rough.

Q. How do you find living in Perth? When you visited New York, what was it like coming back to a small city like Perth? What did New York teach you?

A. Perth is a great city to call home. I wouldn’t leave Perth if I were not chasing my dream.

Coming back to WA after a short stay in New York was a nice way to focus my time on what’s important to me. After seeing how things work in big audition situations I feel I’m almost ready to tackle that part of the industry again.

Q. What are you working on now, and what plans do you have for the future?

A. At the end of May, I am leaving Perth for

Montreal to train and get stronger as an artist. I’m investing a lot in this path I’ve chosen, I hope my persistence and hard work pays off.

It’s no surprise that art and working within the arts has always been associated with financial struggles, but chasing a dream and pursuing a natural talent seems not only worthwhile, but to be congratulated. Art would be nowhere without its creative, unique and passionate artists, and luckily for us, Perth is home to thousands of glittering individuals ready to enrich our city even more.

3/20/2012 5:53:48 AM

The Ballad of Bill the Barkeep Scott Donaldson

like any other, almost: I was keeping myself busy polishing clean pint glasses, while the regulars, each in their own corner of the pub, buried themselves in the sport sections of their newspapers. Horse racing commentators were chattering on in the background. What made that particular day different was the deep hum of a hundred engines creeping up to the bar from the main road outside. The circus was coming, and the usual procession of bright, primary-coloured trucks was trundling towards the centre of town.

The circus came every year. I was never a huge fan of capering clowns and gyrating gymnasts, but, being the owner of the only pub in town, I became familiar with a great many of them – who knew that such dedicated performers would be so lush? Over the years, I became friends with the owner, Greg Fairfax, more commonly known as the ringmaster, Greg the Great. In all the time that I knew him, I never actually told him what I really thought of the name ‘The Great Circus of Greg the Great,’ but I don’t suppose anybody ever did.

It was later that morning, after all the trucks had passed and parked, that Dave the Incredible Talking Duck strolled in, with a local newspaper tucked under his arm (wing?). It was a curious sight, to say the least - even a couple of the groggy regulars climbed out of their papers to have a quick stare.

He hopped up – flew, a little bit – onto one of the stools, as casual as casual can be.

“Pint of Extra Dry,” he said, laying the paper on the bar with his beak.

I stood for a moment, examining the strange, perhaps supernatural, creature. Must be with the circus, I thought. One of Greg’s jokes. I poured the pint then placed it in front of him. Dave plunged his face into a thick patch of feathers, and re-emerged with a few coins, which he then spat onto the bar. I picked out seven gooey dollars.

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After that, there was nothing doing. Dave sat quietly, studying the paper, while I continued wiping clean glasses. The regulars had altogether stopped paying any mind to the fantastical creature perched at the bar, and over-excited horse racing commentary still buzzed on.

I was rearranging the chip packets chronologically by their respective flavour’s release date when Dave spoke up again.

“Mate,” he said.

“Yeah?” I replied, trying to sound like I wasn’t creeped out because I was talking to a duck.

“Know of any jobs in town?”

I could see the jobs page of the paper lying open, and dabs of wetness marked five or six potential employers. I thought he was here with the circus.

Did he fall out with Greg?

“You came into town for a job?”

“Moved here last week to look after my mum.

Looking for something full-time.”

“Oh. Nothing’s come by, but I’ll let you know if something comes up.”

“Cheers mate. It’s Dave, by the way.” He extended a wing, and in a disastrous effort to look normal, I thrust out my hand and gave it a quick, violent shake.

“The Incredible Talking Duck,” he continued.

“Oh,” I said again, before finding the courage to crack a joke. “How’d you get that name?” I asked, with a goofy grin.

“The surname? It’s Latvian,” he replied, as serious as a scandal-ridden politician.

Greg the Great came in the next day.

“Bill!” he said, arms outstretched. “Good to see you mate.”

“How’s it going Greg?”

“Incredibly usually. How’s the last year treated you?”

“Usually,” I replied, smiling.

The conversation was the same every year.

Greg would speak about all the crazy stuff that happened to the circus over the past twelve months, including some very detailed accidents, and I would reciprocate with some comparatively

boring tales of beer, chips, and televised sporting events.

“So. What else?” asked Greg, when he ran out of stories to tell.

“Nothing really,” I replied. “Oh!” I said, remembering Dave. “What do you know about Dave the Incredible Talking Duck?”

Greg thought for a second, eyes fixed on his furrowed brow. “Nothing. He a friend of yours?”

“No, not really. He came in yesterday, looking for work. Thought he might have been with you folks.”

“No, never heard of him. A talking duck, you say?”

“Yeah. He was looking for work, too. You got room for a bird that can form tangible sentences?”

Greg grinned, shaking his head. “You’re not serious.”

“I am. He ordered a pint and everything.” I crossed my heart. “Swear it.”

“Well, I’ve seen stranger, believe it or not. And there’s always room for talking animals at the Great Circus of Greg the Great. Send him down.”

“That’s great, cheers Greg.”

“Anytime. Now, how about a pint?”

I saw Dave later that day. He came in with the newest paper, and set himself up with the jobs page lying open again.

“Hi Dave,” I said.

“Hi,” he said, not taking his eyes off the paper.

“Great news,” I said. “I found you a job.”

He looked up. “Really? Where?”

“I spoke to Greg the Great. He wants to meet you, to see about putting you in the circus as a performer.”

And here’s the part I’ll never forget: Dave stared at me with an expression that sort of looked like a camel humping a walnut, and said to me, “what the fuck would a circus want with a plasterer?”

Then he left.

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I met Dave the Incredible Talking Duck three years ago, on the first warm day of Spring. It was a day

3/20/2012 5:53:48 AM

Wool Stories Hayley Davis

Perhaps in no other sense is conflict so palatable as in conflict over space, place and identity. It is visual, tangible and usually highly energised. For many this would conjure up images of the Israeli - Palestine conflict or indigenous land rights. A derelict, rundown old warehouse in the little town of Fremantle?

Perhaps not so much. But the old Woolstores which housed WA Wool Exports for over 100 years, is the site of its own fierce conflict over space. Most are aware of the battle between heritage values and corporate development, but there is a third dimension to this story….

As in any conflict, there are those who are not heard. Who are spoken to, spoken about and spoken for. In the case of the Wool-Story, the largely disenfranchised take the form of the urban guerrilla:

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“Skaters by their very nature are urban guerrillas: they make everyday use of the useless artefacts of the technological burden and employ the handiwork of government or corporate structure in a thousand ways that the original architects could never dream of.” - Craig Stecyck, 1976.

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Images: Hayley Davis

3/20/2012 5:53:54 AM

Indeed, the ‘Wu Stores Clan’ have been engaged in a campaign to preserve this iconic piece of international skate culture since the development debate began. ‘Woollies’ is renowned for having the longest rail in the southern hemisphere. Many from Europe and all over the world travel here just to skate this ledge. As the the informal title of Wu Stores Clan suggests, a family has built up around this graffitied and decaying building. And it’s not just the skating clique that congregate here, but also those into music, street art and filmmaking.

In the documentary Woolstores, local filmmaker Max Grantis notes that real estate agents expected future domestic apartments at the Woolstore’s to sell well given the location and the environment… “except for the skaters”.

Indeed, speaking of architecture more broadly, New York architect Michael Ashley of Mash Arkt explains that “Within the context of the city, the skateboarder can still be regarded as a public nuisance by property owners, patrons and pedestrians…seen by some as vandals, skaters leave behind hints of the alternative uses provided by urban spaces that enrich the fabric of the urban jungle.”

Development, Identity And Heritage.

“Many teenagers carve out their own spaces of citizenship…and identities” - Susie Wellar

These competing views can be seen in a wider context as a symptom of a process called gentrification. This typically involves the transformation of a traditionally working class area into middle class neighbourhoods, often at the expense of local character. According to Sharon Zukin (author of Consuming Authenticity) forces of gentrification see people recognising the authentic value and history of an area, gradually attracting attention from broader consumer bases. The arrival of a wider consumer base brings new consumption and lifestyle patters that change the shape of a city. Real estate developments, luxury housing and retail often follow to suit the new ‘higher class’ demands. “When consumption spaces manipulate authenticity for new residents’ needs, they enable them - not so innocently - to stake their claim on the neighbourhood,” Zukin explains.

Identity is important. Human beings generally display the desire for a sense of belonging, attachment, of being rooted in a particular place and feeling as though we have ownership over something significant in our lives. The role of place in identity formation is widely recognised.

Indeed, young Hilton local Joel Asphar wrote in a letter to the Fremantle council that: “The southeast corner from the edge of the building northward to just beyond the second rolling door is very important to the heritage of the Perth skateboarding subculture. I spent every day there after school and all weekend there with my friends during my teenage years, it was a safe place we could go where skateboarding was tolerated and was a good place for us to practice our cherished sport that kept young kids away from drugs and alcohol….It is also very important to me personally as I have very found [fond] childhood memories of the building and it was a big part of my childhood.”

Identities are vulnerable because there are no legal protections or means by which to prevent them from harm. The coastline, port and manufacturing history of Fremantle has defined a large part of the City’s identity. The Woolstores were Interim Heritage listed as a site deserving protection due to its ‘Federation Warehouse Style’ and is a reminder of the wool industry as significant in Australia’s history. So important are these values that it has been stipulated that if development is unavoidable, that development must extend, reinforce and contribute to the functional character of the city.

However while one identity is seemingly enshrined and protected by this interpretation of heritage, one other is quite simply disregarded.

The heritage listing of the Woolstores blatantly states ‘The office areas on each floor at the east side of the building are of little significance due to the extent of the vandalism in these areas.’ It is this rundown section that is so important to the Fremantle skateboarding community. This is perhaps the most vulnerable social group and identity of all. Unlike the official voices of the heritage and corporate interests, the youth lack representation and support both generally (as many are yet unable to vote politically) and in the conflict over the Woolstores.

Countering Expectations The complexity of space contestations is that legal, enforceable claims to place are often limited to such things as property rights and heritage protection, but are rarely enforced on the basis of identity claims. However, the Woolstores dispute illustrates a campaign by youth for their entitlement to one particular right enshrined in the United Nations Charter of Children’s Rights and Responsibilities - that is, “the right to say what they think should happen when adults are making decisions that affect them and to have their own opinions taken into account.” Could the argument be made that the Wu Stores Clan have a claim to a different kind of heritage?

Contrary to many dominant views of young skaters, their participation in the campaign to preserve the Woollies ledge has demonstrated clear political engagement and mass mobilisations skills with over 600 young people signing “The Woollies Petition”. The community also organised two ‘Street Wakes’ to protest against the demolition of the warehouse. They have sustained a campaign using innovative strategies just, as Joel Asphar said, to request that their position be considered. Sometimes conflicts over place can be about recognition, validation and respect, as much as about the eventual winners or losers.

“If you don’t sign it for us, sign it for the sheep.”Annalise.

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Most recently, the debate has centred on the neglect of owner, hotelier Marilyn New, to save the property from disrepair and her controversial removal of wood flooring from the heritage-listed building. Allegations have been made that Ms New and her business partner Michael Blakiston are deliberately allowing the Woolstores to decay so that they may demolish it and start

redevelopment without contravening WA heritage legislation. There have been calls for the minister for heritage John Castrilli MLA to intervene based on section 73(2) of the Heritage of Western Australia Act. This section provides that the government withholds the right to acquisition the land if the minister has grounds to believe it ‘has been deliberately allowed to fall into disrepair for the purpose of justifying its demolition,’.

There were two main characters in these most recent articles. The owners. The council………… peculiar?

is

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3/20/2012 5:53:58 AM

Not So Gay & Lesbian Fat Tuesday 2012 Mardis Gras

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Aiden Stingemore

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3/20/2012 5:53:59 AM

Aiden Stingemore

If you took the bandwagon of sad African kids, flies frenzied by the taste of expiry and calls to arms for avid pamphleteers that aren’t drinking in the dark out of KONY 2012, you’d have Idi Amin. Awareness

has its place, but quasi-activists entertaining the idea that being all active and shit equates to actually being ‘active’ is just dumb. You’re 15 and I can see a can of Impulse on your timeline, your opinion is invalid. If you took Sheldon out of The Big Bang Theory, you’d just put more pressure on Penny to throw an errant nipple out on occasion and eat more Chiko rolls so nerds can make slow-motion GIFs to keep in folders containing folders to compensate for the lack of a spindly jokester whose humour lies in speed reading and references to an arbitrary scientist. If you took the gay and lesbian title out of Mardi Gras for the 2012 celebration, not only are you a hopeless, bureaucratic, politically correct sheepdog that just devalued homosexual progress by returning GLBTQI buzzwords into the realm of uncomfortableness, but you’ve managed to absolve some of the personality from an event that includes big gay floats and a cannon that shoots glittery top hats and Vogue subscriptions into air that smells of fresh baking.

How does one sleep at night knowing he has done this?

Formerly the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras in Sydney, now branded the Sydney Mardi Gras. Chairman of the Sydney Mardi Gras, Peter Urmson, calls the name change something their community has fought for and is grounded in the aim to appeal to a larger audience. Are you a Flo Rida? This confuses me, when has Mardi Gras ever been about embracing heterosexual cultures? This smacks too much of the discriminative and repressive elements of some sort of assimilation for me to be comfortable with; it’s like he’s caved to pressure to throw a conservative designer choker chain bike helmet around the event and to keep it within astringently conservative bounds so as to not upset the masses.

Speaking from past history, we’re not the most embracing people, what with the Bible and the stones and the bigotry.

I would not blame any of you if you went to critics houses’ and dispassionately porked their wives and gave their dog an anal bleaching, a blowdry and a cut and colour. We do not have a place in your festivities, we can’t handle our GHB for one. Anyway, our culture sucks but by all means be a part of the self-loathing and frank ordinariness of heterosexuality if your Supreme Leader commands as such. Mr Urmson wants to be inclusive? Let’s include everyone! Blacks, Asians, Eskimos, people who blog about eugenics and Christians, get your keister over here into one of the most mistreated communities next to atheistic lawyers in a Prius to no longer celebrate a day that was obviously yours, but now a kowtow to watered down gender sensitivities. While we’re at it, let’s put on a spread of horse dick in cachous sprinkled skeet custard for the Ku Klux Klan, neo-Nazi skinheads and Westboro Baptist Church and not jam a picket in Fred Phelps’ throat because he’s fucking true blue. People should not be required to abandon, moderate or constantly filter themselves of their gender programming so taking the words ‘gay’ and ‘lesbian’ out of Mardi Gras seems rather detrimental to the headway I imagine the respective communities have made in trying to strip such words of their negative signposts and slide them into public discourse and a comfortable space.

As an aside, the 2012 logo has also been changed to a pair of intersecting hearts, which is very 60’s and yellow Volkswagen van of them. Though I’m unaware of the previous logo design, I imagine it would have been something bombastic and awesome. Here is my assumed shortlist, now that they’re celebrating stereotypes of repression: • a lava lamp filled with tasselled boobs.

• a raver made of laser beams.

• a motorbike that runs on work boots.

• a never-ending loop of ‘Rent’.

• a bear taking a David Bowie picture to the bathroom.

• a wig that has been dyed so many times the hair is now invisible.

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Early Mardi Gras was probably just a series of mattresses (memory foam, duck down pillows and raspberry mood candles by the bedside table) laid out in Kings Cross, so what they’re afforded now is probably pretty damn tame by comparison so I’m unsure how all the grizzly old people are still whinging about it being brazen or disgusting or whatever. If you can stay quiet for a full minute, I’ll get you another oleander tea and listen to you talk about shell casings and killing a Jap with a shovelhead. Basically, you have every right to exclude my straight counterparts and I, given how vile and stupid the views of some are. I understand being inclusive, extending a kind hand to your enemies and all that new-age jazz but you’re in a secular country that hasn’t yet legalised gay marriage, which is a fucking travesty might I add. If they want to spend every second weekend with their Tahitian adoptee and hate their

partner with the 9-to-5 plus weekends revulsion that only a single parent can muster, let them have at it I say. The parade is your day and your right to demonstrate your sexuality, I don’t understand why you’d sully it with people who buy their t-shirts and get their keys cut in the same place. Why would you deprive yourself the chance to titter at saggy newsreader veterans squirming their way through words like ‘bean flicker’ and ‘sodomization’?

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3/20/2012 5:53:59 AM

Words & Images 38 - creative

Photography by Carlo Fernandes

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3/20/2012 5:54:03 AM

Carnival Street

Tricycle Horn

Tent and Master

Flourescent purple lights,

He laughed when he realised what had happened, his baggy striped pants had caught on the trainer wheels of his ridiculously small red bicycle.

Take the battle to the boring man the colour and glitz cascade

And now, with the cool breeze of an evening brushing across his cheeks, he laughed...as the audiences of Montreal did every night.

Climb so high to touch the sky and fly to the cheer of all

burning holes in half-empty/half-full bottles of Jack Daniel’s; the friend you met in highschool, who never did know what he was doing with his life.

The streets are stoned and can’t stand up straight, but sometimes try, and tilt like pinball machines, pushing pedestrians into the drain, crying about how beautiful the moon looks.

The moon hasn’t noticed; she’s just worried her cellulite’s showing in the dress of clouds, falling off her waist, for well-dressed constellations (who are fully aware of envious stares from men who can’t afford a taxi home,

They laughed at his jokes, at his coordination or lack of, the proportionality of his oversized shoes to the minicylcle on which he sat.

They laughed at the swirling colours of his tie and rainbow hair. They laughed a the mere flailing of his limbs, his comical expressions.

The colours, the comedy, the obvious and humourous humiliation of the clown - it created a wonderful illusion to which the circus audience were drawn...

and one-eighty-five in silver).

Michael MacKenzie

Hayley Davis

a wallet with three unused condoms

Enchant and delight, freak and fright they never spurn your mirth As the tent and its master play the song of the greatest show on Earth

Mark Isaacson

39 - creative

an upside down driver’s license,

Dare to dream of magic unseen and never stop to fall

The illusion…was just that…a deception…a trick on the eye. He wished for it to last forever. The adrenaline, the constant stitch in his side from laughter, the fun...

But for Jim, the colours, the clothes, the act, were but a pleasant distraction from reality underneath the mask. A reality that he knew, sooner or later, would come back to haunt him….

and won’t be scoring anything, but

Watch them tumble and clown about to the beat of the marching parade

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3/20/2012 5:54:06 AM

Carmen Miranda Fruit Hat Recipe Jarod Rhine-Davis

1.

One of the best ways to stylise your headpiece for Carnaval is simply to go to Coles and buy lots of random crap, glue it all onto a hat, and pop it on. You can’t lose!

Now, you just can’t think Carnaval without thinking Carmen Miranda. It’s impossible not to make that connection.

If flamboyancy is what you’re after at this prestigious event, Carmen’s your gal! This Brazilian bombshell was famous throughout the US in the 40’s and 50’s for being an accomplished Broadway actress and Hollywood film star.

At the height of her career, she was arguably the highestearning woman in the United States. The fruit hat that she wore in the 1943 movie “The Gang’s All Here” became an instant classic, and it is this fruity costume (pun very much intended) that she is probably best known for today.

Carmen will stand the test of time as that woman who wore a fruit basket on her head. Lovely......

Well, now is your chance to create your very own fruit ensemble for Carnaval. There are many different styles you can go for, so let your creativity run wild. If all you have in your food bowl at home is a bunch of bananas, why not create a Jamaican dreadlock look? Simply get some ultra-strength super glue and glue them on your head facing outwards, one at a time to achieve this awesome effect. You’ll be the belle of the ball! Plus it gives you plenty of opportunity to practise your condom-skills. Rip a banana off your head now and again throughout the day, and practise putting a condom onto it just like you learnt in school. Just remember not to be too explicit. You don’t know who may be wat- ......oh come on now....! Don’t try to wiggle your way out of it, you’re school sex ed was as bizarre as mine, and you know it...!

If all you have is a tomato, don’t fret – you’re in luck.

Tomatos ARE fruit, you know! Simply squeeze out the juices into your hair and voila, you’re a certified red beauty.

Once you’ve finished, why not give your hat a name?

Maybe Suzie, or Greg, or... ermm.... Wilson? ... that way even when you feel so alone (which you must do all the time if you’ve actually bothered to read this far, and already put your life on hold to finish this hat), you will always have your Mad Hatter friend there willing to give you advice, and to hold your hand (metaphorically of course) as you go on in life.

But remember, as wonderful as your work of art is, you MUST dispose of it eventually. No amount of herbicides and preservatives will stop that hat turning to smelly yucky mush. And it’s not very tasty either after a few months – believe me, I’ve tried!

Eventually, you are going to have to plan a small funeral for the sad passing of not only your beloved hat, but also all the $5000 worth of fruit, the moustache combs (for getting the knots out of your furry peach hair), the marriage guidance sessions when have had your quarrels. You know what? I think that when this sad day finally and inevitably comes, you should cut him open, dig into his body and pull out the little bulbs from within him, and them scatter these “ashes” all over the land, thereby allowing the next generation of fruit hats to grow and prosper.

Enjoy making your Carmen Miranda hat this year and may you be the frutiest person at Carnaval, or just in your living room.

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Whatever you decide, your hat is sure to look cool.

But remember, it will not just be a fashion statement, it WILL define who you are as a person. No doubt about that. Anyone who comes near you will decide on your personality within a few seconds, based solely on the quality of your hat. So be warned, a crap hat gets you no friends – a philosophy that I’ve followed religiously all my life.

And the best part is, it’s not just to make ugly people look slightly more ap”peel”ing [hehe], it’s your lunch as well!

Assuming the apocalypse happens while your float is going down the street, once all the cannibalism dies down, people will be knocking on YOUR door to get food rations.

You’ll be top dog (or top bitch, as it were...). Just remember, if your hat starts to feel a bit light, either go for the pizza instead of the fruit you skinny bitch, or just forage for wild berries and stick them on to cover up the bald patches.

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Just remember, if your hat starts to feel a bit light, either go for the pizza instead of the fruit you skinny bitch, or just forage for wild berries and stick them on to cover up the bald patches.

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3/20/2012 5:54:07 AM

42 - politics

It wouldn’t be a Republican ballot without a space that said ‘insert generic Texas cowboy here’.

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3/20/2012 5:54:08 AM

Congressional Swings and Roundabouts Trent Macri

It seems fitting that this issue of Grok be themed ‘Carnival’ when you consider the spectacle that’s been the race for the Republican nomination in the United States. Of the four remaining acts, one will prevail in

being the Republican Party’s nominee to take on President Obama in this year’s presidential election in November.

Since the primaries kicked off in 2011 however, each candidate in this motley crew of characters has failed to generate much popular support.

What’s peculiar about this lack of enthusiasm is that given the outcry of Republicans over the past three years against the Obama administration, one would expect a couple of nominees to be riding a major wave of support to challenge the incumbent president. Instead, Republicans are more ambivalent than ever on standing behind a nominee who they hope can rescue America from four more years of Obama.

So what’s holding them up? Each of these peculiar (and in some cases, downright bizarre) candidates faces, or has faced, his or her own unique roadblocks to the White House. All you need to do is watch each act to find out why. Consider several of the slapstick contenders that have since withdrawn from the race.

Firstly there was Donald Trump’s publicity stunt in which he fuelled speculation about the possibility of him running for President. It seemed to the business magnate that unearthing “the truth” about Obama’s place of birth/ citizenship was fundamental to the momentous economic challenges that will decide this election. Exit stage-left, Mr Trump.

Herman Cain, former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza (apparently this qualifies you to run the world’s only superpower), was a serious contender up until allegations of sexual misconduct in four separate cases severely hindered his campaign.

Despite denying the accusations, his poll numbers dropped significantly, and he was forced to suspend his campaign.

Michele Bachmann of Minnesota (AKA Sarah Palin 2.0) was the quintessential Tea Party candidate, whose campaign was expected to flourish given the rise of the popular grass roots movement. She languished however in the Iowa caucuses – the first state to vote – finishing in sixth place, convincing her to drop out. Watch some of her outlandish interviews on YouTube and you’ll see why.

So which acts are deemed focused and impressive enough to still be standing? It’s down to Mitt Romney, successful businessman and former Governor of Massachusetts; Rick Santorum, a former Senator of Pennsylvania; Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives; and Congressman Ron Paul.

As of now, Ron Paul is the only candidate left who has not placed first in any of the state votes. It’s fairly safe to say that he doesn’t stand a chance. Why? He’s not a typical Republican. He’s a libertarian, and in particular, his mindyour-own-business foreign policy doesn’t sit well with the majority of Republican voters.

Then we have the colourful Newt Gingrich who is currently sitting in third place. While his inflated rhetoric against Obama generated buzz for some time, it can (and will) only get him so far. His problem is one of character. He’s not a likeable guy to the average voter. His past infidelities, as well as the fact that he’s currently on his third marriage, also doesn’t sit well with your standard conservative. Infact, traditional conservatives seem to have jumped boat from him to the deeply religious Rick Santorum, who (like him or not) practices what he preaches.

Santorum’s performance has been the real surprise in this race, and he’s now trailing close behind Mitt Romney.

Santorum is an unabashed social conservative, who has largely capitalised on an agenda that’s focused on issues of abortion, same-sex marriage and birth control. It seems to be working, but will it get him to the White House? This writer thinks (and rather ironically, prays) not.

That just leaves Mitt Romney in a predictable, though not secured, lead. In the end, all indicators point towards this being the man to take on Obama – he’s ran before, has a very successful business record, has a stable family, as well as the most funds to carry through a successful campaign.

But that’s not to stay Romney doesn’t face some serious challenges if he wants to stay in first place. His reputation as a moderate and somewhat progressive Republican is being jeopardised by a shift towards the more absolutist right wing on matters of economic and foreign policy in order to secure votes from traditional Republicans. This will not sit well with the moderate voters of the centre who decide elections.

The fact that as Governor of Massachusetts he introduced a universal healthcare scheme strikingly similar to Obama’s (considered by right-wingers to be an abomination and proof of the president’s socialist agenda) has also meant he’s having a tough time convincing the right wing of the Republican Party that he’s the right man for the job.

If Romney wants to win, he needs to stop pandering to conservatives and campaign as the rational, pragmatic politician that he is.

So what does Obama have to say about all this? Not much: “I’m going to wait until everybody’s voted off the island.”

43 - politics

Rick Perry, current Governor of Texas (it wouldn’t be a Republican ballot without a space that said ‘insert generic Texas cowboy here’), was pushed to run due to national support from the Republican establishment. His performances in the debates however left something to be desired. Other controversies compounded this issue, including a TV advertisement titled ‘Strong’ in which he condemned the repeal of ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ and vowed to “end Obama’s war on religion.” It currently holds a ‘dislike’ rate of nearly 97% on YouTube. He subsequently

withdrew after poor results in the early votes.

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3/20/2012 5:54:08 AM

Ross Noble

Nonsensory Overload at the Regal Theatre Abby Hutchinson

Ross Noble, the Newcastle (UK) born

comedian, has been projecting his unique brand of comedy around Australia for a few years, and was welcomed back to Subiaco with open arms during his latest Nonsensory Overload comedy tour. Spanning a week- long stint of shows at The Regal Theatre, Noble’s show clearly stems from improvisation, involving the audience and hopping on a ride-along on the complex, disturbing and ridiculous thoughts he delivers to the audience.

Beginning the show with a quick how do you do, and rapidly noticing the vacant seats, Noble actioned a plan with the audience to welcome the late-comers, immediately proving to be funny.

This particular night quickly centred its puns around audience member Becky, who had a friend called Horse who was texting her.

Noble weaved a whole backstory between Becky and Horse (her ex boyfriends cricket team member), and spun it into an incredibly fictitious tight knit of comedy. “Read us the text then!” He’d say, coming back to her on and off throughout the night – while jumping forth into another exploration of thought that the audience may or not be with him with.

44 - reviews

He understands his thought process and style of comedy is not for everyone – but rather than being hurt by it he incorporates it into another hilarious comedic act – “The Stephen Hawkins look of bewilderment.” Apologising as the gags always end up leading to sexual connotations, Noble suggests the audience are just as twisted as he, with their ludicrous questions and suggestions.

– turned bewildering imagery he describes. While Noble goes off on bizarre tangents he always manages to come back to his original point in a profoundly funny and clever manner. Physical comedy, obscene imagery and creating a laugh out of just about anything is a talent bestowed upon Noble, who seizes it intrepidly to an eager and at times, frightened audience.

With anecdotes of his no reasoning three year old daughter, to an on the spot and extremely The set, a colourful, vivid and nonsensical well thought out reference to Queen’s Bohemian assortment of blow up octopuses, rainbows Rhapsody, Noble proves time and time again that and animals (because he can have them) good comedy doesn’t have to be rehearsed, prim, provided the perfect backdrop to the many proper and polished – but rather, real and raw. A tangents and abstract thoughts – turned jokes fantastic night.

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3/20/2012 5:54:14 AM

One lucky fan was even given the band’s setlist by one of the guitarists (guess who).

With the mercury in the early thirties and not a cloud in the sky 37,000 people slapped on the sun block and started pre-drinking at 9am because Future Music was finally here! With a ridiculous international

line-up sporting the likes of Paul Van Dyk, Skrillex, Swedish House Mafia, Fatboy Slim, Chase & Status, Gym Class Heros, Jessie J and Tinie Tempah (just to name a few!) as well as an excellent assortment of home-grown talent just the thought of going to Future was enough to send fans orgasming into next month.

As the sea of mid-rifs, short-shorts and male nipples (apparently ridiculously low cut, baggy singlets are so hot right now) poured out of the trains and into Arena Joondalup under the watchful eye of some damn fine coppers, event staff were on hand to give out flyers, vouchers and directions. Future has always been known for its good organisation and management and this year was no different. The only thing that ruined the festivities was the absolutely shocking cell phone reception that resulted in people arriving with 20 mates and losing 18 of them. Jessie J also pulled out with only two hours notice after losing her voice from partying the night before but hey, no one really cares about her anyway.

With six stages needed to accommodate all the artists the biggest task for festival-heads was figuring out the logistics of how to catch all their favourite acts. Local kids The Brow Horn Orchestra delivered a groovin’ set as always, kicking off the party at the Las Venus main stage.

2011 saw Brow Horn’s popularity rise after their debut album was ‘Feature Album of the Week’ on Triple J, scoring heaps of gigs including

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Author Author

Oktoberfest in the Gardens; expect to be seeing big things from these guys in the future!

Next up, Stafford Brothers showed the crowd why they are ranked #1 Australian DJs on the Inthemix DJ Awards; accompanied by Timmy Trumpet they had the crowd fist-pumping like there was no tomorrow. At one point a giant foam beach ball was tossed into the crowd, smacked around overhead by the sea of screaming fans.

Meanwhile over at the Flamingo stage Ruby Rose had most girls in the crowd questioning their sexuality as she delivered her DJ set in between the main acts. Jaw dropping though she is, the general consensus by those in the crowd was the same- she is a pretty crappy DJ. Despite the hideously overpriced food and drink the lines at the lunch stalls and bars were getting longer, the blistering overhead sun the best excuse to drop $12 on can of rum and coke.

Gym Class Heroes were definitely one of the favourite acts of the afternoon, if not of the whole day. The incredibly popular Travie McCoy wooed his army of fans with some of their biggest hits including Cupid’s Chokehold, Billionaire and Stereo Hearts. There was not a boring moment in set; they were on stage for almost an hour and the crowd was involved every minute of it.

At one point the guitarist even dived off stage (over security guards and the stage barrier might I add) and into the crowd, not crowd surfing but crowd collapsing. Because no one was expecting it he pretty much just landed on top of a whole lot of people causing that part of the audience to collapse. Not too sure how Occupational Health and Safety would have reacted to that but no one was hurt so he just got up, brushed it off and partied with the crowd for a few minutes before jumping back on stage which was pretty sweet!

As the sun set on Arena Joondalup Tinie Tempah took to the stage (and took off his shirt) keeping the crowd going with his bangin’ gangsta beatz including Frisky, Pass Out and Written in the Stars. Fans now had to decide between two major acts in the biggest clash of the festival- the biggest thing in Australian dubstep right now and amazing live act Knife Party or veteran of the scene and legend in his own right Fatboy Slim. Those who chose Fatboy Slim over Knife Party were probably kicking themselves because not only was he a bit of a disappointment but the man himself Skrillex made a guest appearance during Knife Party’s set, taking the stage with the duo during their collaborated track Zoology. At least those that saw Fatboy can say that they saw Fatboy because no one really knows if he will ever be back in Australia, pushing 50 he may as well be on his death bed.

Finally, after hours of anticipation Swedish House Mafia took to the stage on their first Australian tour, giving everyone a taste of why their Madison Square Garden show sold out in 10 minutes. The three boys from Sweden (surprise surprise) dropped their original tracks as well as incredible remixes of Florence and the Machine and Gotye; everyone was entranced. Not only was the beat addictive but visually spectacular. Coloured lasers shooting over and through the crowd dancing to every track, made ever more mesmerising by bursts of swirling smoke from the smoke machines, not to mention the flame throwers on either side of the stage that blasted 10 meter pillars of fire into the air in time with the bass. Confetti exploded over the crowd three times during their epic hour-and-a-half long set; it was nothing but surreal.

Though the day was incredibly hot and of course thousands of aching limbs, questionable bruises and unbearable hangovers were sported the next day there is no doubt that Future Music was most definitely worth all the pain. Bring on Future 2013!

45 - reviews

Back to (the) Future!

Come 4 o’clock everyone could sense something looming in the air. An assembly looking 10,000 strong and growing had gathered at the Las Venus stage. It was time.

The one, the only, Skrillex. It was safe to say that shit was about to go down. And go down it did. “That was the most mind-blowing experience of my life,” one fan said as he stumbled out of the mosh. Though this young chap may have been slightly intoxicated there was no doubt that Skrillex definitely knew how to get the crowd going. They absolutely lost it as he dropped his famous Cinema, Bangarang and the ever popular Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites, throwing some sneaky Fatman Scoop in there as well. At one point he even has to stop his set to check that everyone was ok because people were moshing so hard in the mosh pit that it had caved in on itself leaving hundreds of people scrambling and being dragged out left right and center to avoid being trampled. What a top bloke.

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favourite track from this album. It is impossible to find a lyric in this piece that doesn’t take your breath away. Every word has been so carefully chosen to evoke the innerturmoil and apathy of the subject.

When you have lyrics like “I’d be smiling if i wasn’t so desperate, I’d be patient if I just had the time”, not much more needs to be said, does it...

SOUNDS OF OUR CITY BEYOND MAGIC Emma Russack REVIEWED BY: MICHAEL MACKENZIE

Metallica REVIEWED BY: CONNOR WHITE

It’s 2012, and there’s a pop singer lamenting about heartbreak around every corner; but while some have been rolling in the deep, or playing video games, Emma Russack has been writing and recording her deeply personal debut LP, Sounds Of Our City.

After last year’s extreme faux pas with Lou Reed, Metallica have got a long way to climb to reach their previous successes. So what better way than to release some b-sides from a mediocre album, right?

This record is an intimate and not always comfortable experience. Sharing every detail of her love life, pre and post breakup, Russack doesn’t hold anything back in her lyrics, or her vocal delivery. She unifies seamlessly the rawness of The Waifs, with the crooning grace of Jeff Buckley.

I’ve heard it said that Australians are more accustomed to self-reflective narrative than our friends accross the Pacific, and I think that those sentiments are exemplified by this record. This is story-telling at its finest; completely unabashed, and often unglamorous.

The record opens with Russack singing, almost regretfully, “tonight I’m gonna go out and get drunk,” over a cocktail of soft fingerpicking, melancholic percussion, and a tinshed guitar line (a motif re-visted in the closing track).

The high point of the album (and most single-ready track) is ‘Friends Not Lovers’, a slow, sparse piece, with only two clean guitars and a recurring harmony to support Emma as her voice cracks with both acceptance and conviction.

46 - reviews

The entire album is consistently clever, and listening to any one song in isolation might not allow the Melbourne and loneliness concept to fully sink in. Emma Russack will never have the glamour of Lana Del Rey, or the mass appeal of Adele, but that’s not a bad thing. Written and produced in full by Russack this lo-fi indie-folk gem is a testament to her musicianship. I’d hate to call it her opus, but it’s going to be hard to top.

8.2/10

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With only four tracks on the album, it might seem like a raw deal, but truth is this is some of the best work Metallica has put out in years. It’s even better than the album it was originally going to be worked into.

The opener Hate Train mixes the straightforward riffs of Anthrax with the cold melody of Pantera and solos seemingly coming from Dave Mustaine to create something better than Metallica’s put out since The Black Album, which admittedly shouldn’t be surprising. ‘Just A Bullet Away’ rides on its power and escalates into a dark yet uplifting panache. The only problem I can count, which plagues the other two songs as well, is that they outstay their welcome, with the last minute of each being a drag.

But then it doesn’t make sense as to why these weren’t on Magnetic itself, since that was a lingering problem with the rest of the album.

The two other tracks, ‘Hell And Back’ and ‘Rebel Of Babylon’ are missing something. Part of it’s the lack of development, particularly ‘Babylon’, which is a messy jam and a repetitive one trick pony at the same time. The lyrics are also slipshod and underdeveloped, but that’s Metallica for you, I suppose.

Metallica are now a mere shadow of their former selves, but ‘Beyond Magnetic’ can take you back to when they were at least good. Which they were. Shut up.

7/10

OUR VERSION OF EVENTS Emeli Sandé REVIEWED BY: JAROD RHINE DAVIS

Newcomer Emeli Sandé wows us with her impressive debut album, Our Version of Events. This Scottish singer-songwriter has presented a very interesting listening experience for her audience, creating a piece of work that transcends one genre of music, and that is thematically veiled in a sad melancholic tone.

The songs themselves vary in their styles, ranging from the heartfelt ballad, to uplifting and boppy. Her vocal timbres and the strength of her voice tend to change depending on the song she is singing, and while this can be a very impressive skill to have, I can’t help thinking that it may possibly be a cheap way to attract fans of similar sounding artists, rather than creating a unique type of music and a new fanbase along with it. There doesn’t seem to be a narrative thread linking these songs, and the styles noticeably jump back and forth from R&B to soul in a seemingly random way.

Sandé refreshingly and very nobly refuses to jump on the autotune gravy-train, relying on only her vocal skills and a few other instruments to showcase her talent.

‘Heaven’, the first track, sends you straight into another world with its trance-like and ambient opening that is very reminiscent of that famous tune from the film 2001: A Space Odyssey. Its etheriality propelled me into another world inhabited by a singer with a lot on her mind and a lot in her heart.

This track is followed by the ballad ‘My Kind Of Love’. Think Alicia Keys but a bit less raspy. This song is plagued with meaningful, powerful, and thought-provoking lyrics, a gem of song-writing. I also noticed while listening to this song that Sandé pronounces her words in the sort of “natural” accepted way. In other words, don’t expect any “boout ay wuld waalk 500 maales, and ay wuld waalk 500 mure”, and trust me, that’s a good thing.

Next, Sandé hits us with an Amy Winehouse-esque/Adele-esque number. ‘Daddy’, featuring Naughty Boy, is the only duet on this album, though I for one didn’t even realise until I read the album cover. The distinction between their two voices wasn’t that great, which was a bit of a shame. I noticed that in this song, there are many opportunities for impressive, emotionally-charged belts, but Sandé tends to hold back from them. When comparing her vocals in this song to, say, the late great Whitney Houston, I can’t help but feel that they are a bit lame in comparison.

‘Breaking the Law’ is track number nine. This song is produced in a minimalistic way, consisting of only vocals and a guitar. It is a very intimate and personal number.

Sandé pulls off the song with such emotion that you hold your breath every line, truly wondering if she has the strength to sing the next word, if she can bare to get the sound out. You can feel her hurt as she is singing this. I could imagine this number being used as background music for a show like ER or House, when someone’s life is slipping away. A truly haunting performance.

Thirteen – unlucky for some, but certainly not in this case. ‘Hope’ is hands-down my favourite track of the album. It has a killer tune – so beautiful, and with heartbreaking lyrics. Sandé’s voice hesitantly forces its way through the barrage of hurtful words in this conflicted piece.

Sandé’s debut, while being an impressive first attempt, offers nothing truly memorable, and I can’t help feeling that I wanted more. That being said, it is still a lovely album to sit back and listen to. A must-have for any dinner party. Sandé has already got the Critic’s Choice Award from this year’s Brit Awards under her belt, and seems to show no signs of slowing down. I for one am waiting intently to see what this intriguing up-and-coming star pumps out next.

8/10

This song is immediately followed by ‘Clown’, my close-second

3/20/2012 5:54:16 AM

Shinobido 2: Revenge Of Zen

PlayStation Vita

One of the more expensive Vita launch titles (game prices on the Vita are varied), Shinobido 2 is a sequel to an ancient PS2 game I’m pretty sure only I played. In case there’s anyone else reading who has played it, it’s much the same with a few improvements.

After reviewing the 3DS way back in the first semester of last year, my opinion of it has degraded somewhat, although I think in the end I can still recommend it at its altogether low price point. How does the Vita’s launch match up to the 3DS’ current position?

Otherwise, Shinobido 2 is a stealth game set in a fictional region during the feudal Japan era. You are Zen, of the Asuka ninja, and your goal is to stop rival ninja from resurrecting an age old demon to attain power.

Y’know, the usual daily routine, but with less wily British accents this time around.

The Vita was mainly advertised as being the most omnipotent console out there, being able to use all forms of multimedia and use the huge back catalogue of the Playstation Store. Unfortunately, that didn’t quite pan out.

In gathering information regarding your ultimate foes, however, you will have to pledge yourself to one of three clans warring over Utakata, who differ only in personality and garb. And motives, but that shouldn’t matter to a ninja with a greater purpose.

Stealth is key, but luckily you are above the average Solid Snake, Sam Fisher or Pedobear with a heightened agility that allows you to perform jobs before your enemy could even hope to see you. Or perhaps you’ll run straight into them and have to take them on with a limited combat system which will have you overwhelmed when facing more than three enemies at once. Perhaps you may also run off a cliff into a bottomless pit. Such are the trials of a ninja.

As Zen, you’ll travel through pretty but repetitive environments, as the adventure takes on a repetitive, generic structure almost the same as the first, although there is a bit more flexibility in when you wish to take on the story progression missions. Whilst this structure benefits the handheld nature of the game, it also makes the game boring well before its over.

Some customisation exists, but is altogether thin on the ground. The alchemy system returns again, but is governed too much by luck and relentless scavenging, as materials are strangely thin on the ground, so you’ll be distracted in your missions thereby letting your escort get carted off by rival ninja.

Some other portions, like a dedicated RPG upgrade system, exist but all are overshadowed by how many times Shinobido 2 expects you to do the same thing over and over. There is not even a varied selection of stealth kills this time around, leaving the mere act of being a ninja dull by the three hour mark.

Much like the game all of two people reading this played, it has its charm, though the lack of wily British accents took much of that out too.

Shinobido 2 improves slightly upon the formula with larger maps and altogether better presentation, but fails to update the gameplay into something that doesn’t feel incredibly dated and lackluster.

5/10

GROK#2_2012.indd 47

Playstation Vita REVIEWED BY: CONNOR WHITE

Japan has this cool program that lets you transfer UMD PSP games you own onto your Vita, but that program is not being offered in other territories and seemingly never will. Some of the download PSP games also don’t work for some reason, such as the portable Rock Band title.

Alongside that, PS1 Classics are currently disabled. So right now, playing options are more limited than they should be.

As for the Vita’s hardware, I haven’t been able to road test much of it, but included in the package is a touch pad on the back of the device, which holds a lot of potential. The LCD touch screen is very good, with a good ability to shrug off dust and marks much more than the 3DS screens.

Battery life is also a marked improvement over the 3DS even with all of its functionality being used.

The unit is a bit bulkier in weight than any other console, but is a bit less cumbersome than the 3DS in shape and handling. It comes equipped with everything the PSP had as well as a second analog stick. Thank God. The graphics output is definitely incredible. It’s almost up to par with the current generation of consoles, with great detail and vibrancy in the colours. The speakers are also surprisingly decent.

The biggest issue with the Vita by far, and the main point where the 3DS trumps it, is pure value and cost. No getting around it: this thing is expensive. There are two models: wifi and 3G. The only advantage 3G offers is being able to use wireless online functionality wherever you go, which is never worth a $50 plus the mobile plan. Then there are the specialised memory. I could only only get the minimum size of 4 gigs for $30 at the time of purchase, but the most expensive, and most desirable, will set you back $70. Add this plus games to $350 and you have something that might be out of your range.

As time goes on, no doubt the Vita will get a price drop, and more functionality will be added. For now, though, the Playstation Vita has no meat on its bones, and I cannot recommend it.

5/10

47 - reviews

PSVita REVIEWED BY: CONNOR WHITE

3/20/2012 5:54:17 AM

Ask Someone Better

Emil Cholich

Dear Emil Im turning 18 this year, it’s my first year at uni, I’m overwhelmed with this new world, how should I behave! What should I do?

Fresher Princess Dear FP

48 - advice

I understand what you mean, I remember my first year, not knowing how to dress to impress, figuring that I was going to become an arts student I didn’t shower a few days in advance and braided my hair with Jamaican flag colored beads, upon arriving I was surrounded by a large group of hipsters chanting “one of us, one of us” I don’t remember the next few hours but I woke up at the Apple store checkout the proud owner of a MacBook Pro. This is why I can not express how important it is that you do everything right when it comes to fitting in, here’s a check list to complete before and during uni every day:

GROK#2_2012.indd 48

How’s your life going? Probably pretty poorly - I mean you’re reading a student magazine, your day has probably sucked, and you’re ugly. Look at you, it’s horrible you even exist. Don’t you wish you’d made better life choices? No, because the only life choices you’ve made yourself have been screw ups, so why not ask someone who’s better at life than you. Email me your life dilemmas, and I guarantee you a response of some nature, whether it’s a heart warming paragraph or three, or just a picture of a donkey doing some stuff to a goat. emilcholich@me.com

• Do your shorts start at your waist and end early enough down your leg so that your pockets dangle out the bottom like a postpubescent elephant’s?

• Make sure to walk around and loudly exclaim who from high school you’ve seen.

• If you are a guy make sure you grow as much facial hair as possible, AS LITTLE AS THAT MAY BE, remember a few beige tufts make you look distinct, like George Clooney.

• Bring up your TER score as much as possible, people love hearing about it, and it is the most important number in your life ever.

• Spend four hours deciding where to tie your hair in a bun, make sure it looks messy and effortless.

Promiscuity is one of the four major tentpoles of the uni experience. Remember its not about quality, it’s about quantity, though quality does help. If you are ever prowling for loving at the tavern, here are some useful guidelines.

Remember the hierarchy of cool, in ascending order:

3) Surveying students 2) Everybody else 1) Grok writers.

Remember that Grok isn’t just a pile of wanky poetry and four articles per issue about white guilt and refugees, it’s also made of paper that’s really good at absorbing spills, like a sham-wow, but free.

This is an aspect of the uni lifestyle where women have the advantage, its just not fair. I’ll give you an example. Giving head. Girls get to practice.

You have had popsicles for the majority of your life. That is an entirely transferable skill set.

What do guys have? That one time our mums didn’t pack a spoon with our snack pack and we had to lick it out, and you end up with chocolate pudding all over your face. Even then the skill isn’t entirely transferable. If you end up with chocolate pudding on your face after you do that on a woman, you’ve done it wrong.

But I guess the most important message here is….just to stay the hell away from Surveying students, they’re swamp monsters.

3/20/2012 5:54:18 AM

easter grok2012.pdf 2 3/20/2012 6:59:48 AM

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OPEN FOR CURTIN STAFF/ STUDENTS AND THEIR 1X GUEST. THIS IS AN 18+ EVENT. APPROVED FORM OF ID WILL BE REQUIRED AT ENTRY. CURTIN UNIVERSITY IS A SMOKE FREE CAMPUS AND SMOKING WILL NOT BE PERMITTED. NO PASSOUTS. PHOTOS MAY BE TAKEN FOR GUILD PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL. CURTIN STUDENT GUILD PROMOTES THE RESPONSIBLE SERVICE OF ALCOHOL AT ALL TIMES.

Grok#2_12_cover.indd 3

3/20/2012 7:03:42 AM

connects up to 5 of your Wi-Fi enabled devices≠

$149 $99 refurbished* home gateway

$59 $49 refurbished* ViViFi® Wi-Fi hotspot (C600W)

+ sign up to a $39/10GB or above 3 month data plan (excl. unlimited) and get:

+ sign up to a $29/4GB or above 3 month data plan (excl. unlimited) and get:

• $99 credit • 2GB bonus data each month • FREE Uniden cordless phone

• $49 credit • 2GB bonus data each month

Offer ends 1 April 2012. Available at:

($39/10GB plan total min. cost + device =$117 over 3 months. $29/4GB plan total min. cost + device =$87 over 3 months). *Refurbished devices may have been used for testing purposes or returned by customers outside our coverage area. They have been checked, tested and re-packed. A 6 month warranty applies. Limit one refurbished device per transaction. Students must purchase and activate their refurbished device between 8.00 am WST (11 am EDT) on 13/02/2012 and before midnight WST on 01/04/2012(2 am EST on 02/04/2012). Device credit equivalent to purchase price applied in 2nd month. Limit one device credit per account. Additional 2GB bonus data for the first 12 months excludes pre-paid and unlimited plans. If you use up all your data (including additional bonus data) on your plan (excluding unlimited plan), your broadband service will be slowed to 64kbps until you recharge or until your next billing period starts. Alternatively, you can buy blocks of additional usage at any time. Usage includes uploads and downloads. Acceptable Use Policy applies to all data plans. Early Termination Fee applies to fixed term plans. Go to vividwireless.com.au for details and full terms and conditions on all our plans. #You may experience slower speeds with more than 5 users connected at any one time. One Free Uniden cordless phone (DECT 1015) while stocks last. Phone is manufactured by Uniden Corporation Japan and is covered under the manufacturer’s one year warranty. You must sign up to a vividwireless phone service to enjoy great value call rates. Fair Use Policy applies to phone plans. Check coverage at vividwireless.com.au/coverage before you buy. Coverage depends on your location VIV0171_FPC_GM_V2 and device. Environmental and structural factors, distance from base station or terrain can affect your coverage. © 2012 vividwireless Pty Ltd. (ABN 65 137 696 461).

Grok#2_12_cover.indd 4 VIV0171_FPC_GM_V2.indd 1

3/20/2012 7:03:46 AM 5/03/12 2:04 PM