SUMMER 2011 Volume 58 Number 5
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TO
Heaven & BACK
THE BESTSELLING STORY OF A FOUR YEAR-OLD BOY’S AMAZING JOURNEY
THE TREK OUT OF ETHIOPIA
TWO JEWISH GIRLS FIND A HOME
Journey of hope INSTITUTIONALISED FROM THE AGE OF 17 MONTHS.THE ABUSE, NEGLECT AND REJECTION
Plus
The attitude of gratitude Born to win Season of hope Exclusively distributed through Koorong bookstores
CW contents: 8
Editor’s Letter
10
Out of Ethiopa Judie Oron has adopted two of these Jewish girls from Ethiopia and tells her story
16 Heaven is for real Colton Burpo had a ruptured appendix and was taken into heaven. His father Todd Burpo recounts his story....Lynn Goldsmith
14 Practising the attitude of gratitude Are we grateful for what we have right now? Or are we wanting more and more and not seeing what is in front of us? …Michael Hyatt
20 Nine months pregnant Berni Dymet reveals the true meaning of Christmas
22 A tale of courage Michael Davey tells of his young life in an institution, of abuse and neglect and depression – but now has a destiny...Kara Martin, Lynn Goldsmith 26 Season of Hope Christmas is also a time to think about those who live in poverty, are disadvantaged or are unwanted – but hope prevails!
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Transform your world by degrees
Discover a dynamic partnership between your future profession and your Christian faith. Life is about flexibility, find out how CHC can help you integrate life and study to get you where you want to go.
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Contents.
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28 Born to win From accountant to make-up artist Maria Roselli is taking on the business world and influencing women... Lynn Goldsmith 32 L’Chaim to life L’chaim is more than just a common Jewish drinking toast as Dale Garratt can testify to
NEW OPPORTUNITIES SCHOOL CHAPLAINS SU QLD, a Christian interchurch youth and children’s agency, invites applications for fulltime and part-time State School Chaplaincy positions across Queensland. Due to the announcement of Federal Government NSCSWP funding, a range of new positions will become available in both primary and secondary schools.
26 Turning reactions to positive actions Stuck in the old rut? Sandra Cavallo suggests some ways to break new ground
Applicants need to demonstrate their suitability to provide support and care to young people. There is significant need for Chaplains in rural and remote communities of Queensland. More information and apply online at
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Christian Woman ABN 58 090 450 285 Editor in Chief Lynn Goldsmith Collaborator for Summer Nicole Danswan Patron Lisa McInnes-Smith Art Director Nicole Danswan Graphic Designer Sasha White Marketing Manager & Circulation Belinda Dickinson
6 Christian Woman Summer 2011
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Correspondence New Zealand PO Box 47212, Ponsonby, Auckland 1144, New Zealand Unless otherwise specified, all Scripture quotations are from the New International Version, copyright-1973, 1978, 1984, International Bible Society. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or part, without prior written permission. Opinions expressed in this magazine do not
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Change the world. Leadership Education for Leaders “Alphacrucis has always been my college. Today more than ever, I am excited to see how our students are changing the world.” Dr. Jacqui Grey, Academic Dean
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girl talk.
EDITOR’S LETTER The aim and final end of all music should be none other than the glory of God and the refreshment of the soul.
NEW RELEASE Chasing Light
- Johann Sebastian Bach
W
e are now into our summer months in the Southern hemisphere – a time of sun, beaches, swimming and holidays. The atmosphere is great and it is also a time of reflection on the year that is behind us and the start of a brand new year and all that God is planning for each one of us. In this issue of Christian Woman we touch on a number of important issues that confront our society. You may remember a few years ago, when Israel went in and brought the Jews out from Ethiopia – taking them back to their homeland. This was a very moving experience. The Operations of the Israelis to bring Ethopian Jews home represent the only time in human history that a first world nation took a large black community out of Africa, not in order to enslave or exploit it, but in order to set it free. The writer, a Canadian/Israeli journalist adopted two sisters and writes about her experiences. We also have a wonderful story of a young boy, Colton Burpo who suffered from a burst appendix and was taken into heaven. His father, Todd Burpo answered some of my questions about his son’s experiences and how this has affected his family. Todd wrote a book entitled Heaven is for Real and he explains that what Colton saw in heaven has definitely impacted the family and their views on life. Depression is of great concern today and one man, who experienced being institutionalised from the age of 17 months writes of his abuse, rejection, cruelty at the hands of those who were supposed to take care of him. The story is very heart wrenching but in the midst of this Michael came to understand the value of friendship and love and found Christ. I trust you will enjoy reading this great and exciting magazine that will inspire you and show the faith that people have risen to during difficult times. I would like to thank all the people who have been involved in bringing Christian Woman to the world to speak to women and, motivate, bless them and encourage them to be all that God has called them to be. Thank you to our readers for all your support throughout the year. I wish you all a very Blessed Christmas and New Year. Lynn Goldsmith
8 Christian Woman Summer 2011
STORY OF A MAN
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Survival.
OUT OF
Ethiopia
The Operations of the Israelis to bring Ethopian Jews home represent the only time in human history that a first world nation took a large black community out of Africa, not in order to enslave or exploit it, but in order to set it free. Judie Oron has adopted two of these Jewish girls and tells her story
C
ry of the Giraffe is a story that I was sure I’d never be able to tell. It’s written in the voice of an Ethiopian Jewish girl who tried to reach Israel via a clandestine airlift from neighbouring Sudan in the late 1980s. Instead, she was separated from her family and, over time, endured violence, abuse and slavery. In short, it has all the elements for a good read, but it’s not the kind of story you want to tell about your own daughter. Almost from the moment I found the girl and paid for her freedom, I was aware as a journalist that this was a very big story! But then love came into it. I’d already taken the girl’s younger sister into our family and it didn’t take long before she became a part of us too. She was emotionally scarred and she was ill and she very quickly captured our hearts and made us all her defenders. But defending her meant keeping silent about what she’d endured. She belongs to a religious community and we worried about how they would react if her experiences were revealed. So, we kept her story a secret 10 Christian Woman Summer 2011
and I got on with the process of becoming her mother. Then, three years ago, she decided that she wanted her story told. Shocked, at first I refused. But after listening to her reasons, I was persuaded to do her bidding. Cry of the Giraffe was her way of demonstrating what it means to be trapped in slavery in modernday Ethiopia. Her name is Wuditu. In her language, Amharic, that means ‘little treasure’. Cheerful, loving and pretty, and with a muchenvied long, elegant neck, people watched over her as she strode confidently back and forth, on her way to gather water. Sometimes, they’d call out to one another, “There goes the girl with the neck of a giraffe!” No one watched over her more zealously than her own parents. Even so, when the time came, all their watchfulness couldn’t prevent her from being torn from her family. There are approximately 120,000 black Jews of Ethiopian origin living in Israel today. Many were airlifted in the 1980s and 1990s by Israeli commandos in secret operations from Sudan, a state that was a declared enemy of Israel, and from Ethiopia during
the rule of the former Marxist dictator, Mengistu Haile Mariam, known for his cruelty as ‘the butcher of Addis’. The Operations represent the only time in human history that a first world nation took a large black community out of Africa, not in order to enslave or exploit it, but in order to set it free. They are a tribute to the courage of the Israelis who rescued these starving and desperate Jews and to the brave Ethiopians themselves who followed their dream, hoping to get to the land they knew only as Yerusalem, knowing full well that many would die. Today we know that one out of three Jews who walked to Sudan died, either on the trek or in the pestilential refugee camps, waiting to be rescued. Wuditu’s story began in 1989, when her father led his family eight hundred kilometres from their village in Gonder Province to Sufuwa refugee camp in Sudan. Several months later, Wuditu (aged 13) and Lewteh (aged 10) were separated from their family in a violent incident. While the rest of their family was being airlifted to Israel, the two
Survival.
the Gonder Province Where d rte journey sta
girls were forced by Sudanese soldiers to walk back to Ethiopia. On that trek, Lewteh became desperately ill. Wuditu managed to get Lewteh to a village where they had elderly relatives. She’d heard that there was a faranj (a foreigner) in a nearby town and that he was transporting Jews to the Israeli Embassy in Addis Ababa. From there, people were flying to Israel. Lewteh couldn’t walk any further,
so Wuditu left her sister and went to look for this faranj. Apart from wanting to get the two of them to Israel, she thought this might be Lewteh’s only chance for medical treatment. Alone for the first time in her life and unfamiliar with town ways, Wuditu looked for work as a servant. But there was a brutal war being waged in the area and people were afraid to take strangers into their homes. With no other means of support, Wuditu began to carry water for people in the town. She earned barely enough for a few pieces of injera bread and at night she rented a pallet in a tela beit – a local beer hall. It wasn’t safe for a young girl to sleep in a place like that, but it was all she could afford. She suffered several incidents of abuse there and one night she was raped. Wuditu came from a religious community that carefully guarded the purity of their females. Now, she believed that her life had been changed forever. No one would ever marry her, she’d never have children and what would she tell her parents if she ever managed to find them? Then, Wuditu discovered that all the Jews had been taken from the nearby villages, Lewteh along with them. Now she was truly alone. She prayed that Lewteh had survived, that she’d reach Yerusalem and that she’d tell someone to come and find her. During the next few months, Wuditu continued to carry water for people in the town. It was hard work and she was getting tired. Often, she was offered socalled ‘easy’ work as a prostitute, but she refused such offers and continued to search for a place where she could be safe from
further incidents of abuse. One morning, desperate to change her circumstances, she left the tela beit. But instead of buying her morning injera or carrying water, she decided to keep looking until she found a job as a servant. If by doing so she starved, so be it. She walked the back alleys of town all day until she was told about a meloxie, a religious woman whose granddaughter Yelemwork badly needed a servant. Wuditu was relieved to be hired, certain that in a household headed by a meloxie, she’d be safe from abuse. Her first few weeks in the meloxie’s household were difficult. Yelemwork was a hard mistress. But she did manage to sleep undisturbed – except for the family cow that often urinated on her in the night. As far as she was concerned, it was a small price to pay for sleeping in relative safety. Wuditu now had a home base and a plan. She was determined to save her wages, buy a bus ticket to the capital and find her way to the Israeli Embassy. At the end of the first month, she waited to be paid the five birr a month she’d been promised, but instead she was told that, rather than earning wages, she’d incurred a debt. At the end of every month, another debt was added to her account. Eventually, Wuditu realized that, rather than being a servant, she’d been tricked into slavery. Over the next two years, Wuditu became weak and thin to the point of emaciation. She lived in fear, because she’d been hiding the fact that she was a Jew. The local people believed that those who worked with fire were evil. Ethiopian Jews used fire for their
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Survival.
“
I went to Ethiopia to look for Wuditu. I found her and I paid for her, in spite of an angry crowd’s determined effort to prevent that from happening!”
pottery and their metalworking. The townspeople believed that the Jews could harm them just by looking at them, that they could turn into hyenas at night and ‘eat’ Christian children. Wuditu was terrified of what would happen if they found out that she was one of those hated Jews. One day, a former schoolmate in Wuditu’s village came to town. “What’s that girl doing here?” she asked. “I thought all the Jews had gone to Israel.” Wuditu’s secret was out and that night she was beaten and forced to listen to a debate about whether it would be better to kill her outright or to mutilate her – if so, her evil powers would be weakened but she’d still be able to work for her owners. “It’s dangerous to have a Jew in the house,” Yelemwork insisted, but the meloxie persuaded everyone to wait until morning before deciding what action to take. To Wuditu, she whispered, “Run, save your life!” But, after nearly three years of slavery, Wuditu was exhausted. She had no money and nowhere to run to and that night all she could do was lie on her pallet and pray. You might be wondering how a Canadian/Israeli woman wound up in the middle of this story. I’d been working as a journalist for the Jerusalem Post newspaper, and in 1985, I was asked to take over as Director of the newspaper’s charitable funds. I opened another fund on behalf
12 Christian Woman Summer 2011
of Ethiopian Jews and traveled with absorption personnel to boarding schools and absorption centres, trying to determine the community’s needs. I wrote about them in my weekly column and money poured in from all over the world. I set up a committee and together we began our funding. Eventually, I left the newspaper and organized an informal group of professionals who assisted individual families in Ethiopia and in Israel. Most of our cases involved raising money to send people to Ethiopia to look for relatives who were in trouble or who had gone missing during the trek to Sudan. When there was no one in the family who could go to Ethiopia, one of us went instead. I was in Ethiopia in 1989, when an Israeli Embassy worker asked me to watch over a child named Lewteh, whose parents were in Israel. She’d been separated from her family in Sudan but they weren’t sure how. When we got back to Israel, her father told me that another daughter had also gone missing in Sudan. He was very ill, so he paid a man to look for her but the man returned saying that Wuditu was dead. ‘Now, I’m nearly blind from crying for my lost child,” he wailed, then begged me to take Lewteh into our family since he was too ill to care for her. We decided that Lewteh would continue to spend the week in boarding school and come to us on weekends and holidays. She was the same age
as my younger son and the two seemed to get along quite well. I woke up one night to find Lewteh crying over a letter she was writing. “Who are you writing to? I asked. “To my sister, Wuditu,” she answered. When I asked, as kindly as I could, why she was writing to a dead person, she answered, “I would know if Wuditu was dead. I can still feel her breathing!” She suspected that the man had taken her father’s money and never looked for her sister. So, in February, 1992, I went to Ethiopia to look for Wuditu. I found her and I paid for her, in spite of an angry crowd’s determined effort to prevent that from happening! Wuditu and I, we have a ritual. For nearly twenty years now, every February 21, she asks me, “Why are we still alive?” And the answer I give relates to the part of the story you’ll have to read for yourselves – “Because there was a wind.” Judie Oron Canadian/ Israeli journalist
www.christianwoman.co.nz | www.christianwoman.com.au 13
my story.
Practicing the Attitude
of Gratitude Are we grateful for what we have right now? Or are we wanting more and more and not seeing what is in front of us? ‌Michael Hyatt
14 Christian Woman Summer 2011
my story.
S
everal years ago, at the encouragement of a friend, I started carrying a gratitude rock in my pocket. It’s really just a small, smooth stone that I picked up from the fish pond behind our house. I carry it with me where ever I go.
The idea is simple. Whenever my hand contacts the stone–usually several times a day–I give thanks for whatever is happening at that moment, whether good or bad. It is amazing how this simple act changes my perspective and, ultimately, my attitude. Instead of seeing the glass half-empty, I see it half-full. Instead of focusing on what I don’t have, I focus on what I do have–right now. Someone once wisely told me, “You won’t get what you don’t have until you learn to be grateful for what you do have.” I think that is so true. We so often focus on our lack–what’s missing. For example, we complain about our lack of a vibrant, real relationship with God. We wish our church were bigger– or smaller. We wish we had a spouse. Or perhaps we wish we didn’t have a spouse. Or maybe we want to change our spouse. Or we wish we could get a different job, a different boss, or a bigger paycheck. We wish we had more interesting work, more sensitive coworkers, or different hours. We wish we could live in a different city, a different part of the city, or a different house. We complain about our furniture, our car, and all our other stuff. To state the obvious, this is not healthy. And do we really think this complaining spirit will lead to better relationships or more abundance?
I’ve always given thanks when I pray, but often it’s just perfunctory. Now, I am trying to give thanks more deliberately. The gratitude rock is one tool that is helping me. Let me challenge you to push the pause button and write down twenty items you are thankful for right now. Here’s my list:
Michael Hyatt is the Chairman and CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers, the largest Christian publishing company in the world and the seventh largest trade book publishing company in the U.S.
my gratitude list
1. My rela tionship w ith God 2. His con stant pres e nce with m my life e and bles sings in 3. My rela tionship w ith Gail 4. Thirty-t hree years of marriag 5. Gail’s c e onstant su p port and e 6. Gail’s w ncouragem isdom and ent timing 7. Gail’s in credible pa renting skil 8. Gail’s s ls ense of hum o r a n d her incredib heart le servant’s 9. Our ho me and th e joy of sha 10. My dau ring it with ghters and others s o n s -in-law an of their pers d th e onalities varieties 11. Their lo ve for Gail and for me 12. My gran dchildren, who alway 13. The joy s make me of laughing smile w it h 14. The litt Gail and th le town of e fa mily Franklin a able to walk nd the fun to almost e of being verything 15. This ne w season o f my life, w dream of s here I am peaking an living my d writing 16. The fac t that I hav e enough to 17. Dark ch eat today ocolate 18. The fac t that I am warm, dry 19. The fac , and comfo t that I am rtable h e a lt h y and able regularly to exercise 20. My chu rch and th e people I with for tw have wors enty-seven hipped years
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supernatural.
HEAVEN for REAL
is
When Colton Burpo made it through an emergency appendectomy, his family was overjoyed at his miraculous survival. What they weren’t expecting though, was the story that emerged in the months that followed – a story as beautiful as it was extraordinary, detailing their little boy’s trip to heaven and back. Todd Burpo has written the account in his book Heaven is for Real...Lynn Goldsmith
I
asked Todd Burpo some pertinent questions about his son’s experiences and also how this has affected the whole family.
When Colton became very ill and it looked as though you were going to lose him – can you explain your feelings and emotions and your thoughts at this time? Did you feel angry towards God – did you experience any unbelief? What actually happened within you? Watching Colton fade away and suffer was the worst experience I have ever been through. It was nothing short of a nightmare. Children are supposed to live to four! Every terrible feeling one could experience seemed to surface. Terror, anger, pain, loss, regret, and exhaustion were all rolled together into this miserable moment. I questioned where God was in all of the pain and suffering, and I was desperate for God to intervene. I just didn’t know
16 Christian Woman Summer 2011
if He would. I was completely humbled, broken, and pleading with God to help. My faith was definitely precarious. I was a mixture of faith and doubt, but I wasn’t sure which was stronger. Your son Colton slipped into unconsciousness after a burst appendix. He went to heaven. Can you tell me how Colton described his experiences in heaven? He described his experiences in bits and pieces. As life would continue we never knew what might trigger a certain memory or moment for Colton to share. He completely governed and led most all of our discussions about heaven. The one thing that never changed was his ‘matter of fact’ and plain account of what he saw. He was absolutely convinced that what he shared was for real, and he never acted as though he was lost or inventing details. If he didn’t know something, he just didn’t talk about it. After Colton told you of his
experiences did you have problems rationalizing this? Did you find it difficult to believe him at first? We questioned Colton at first, but I couldn’t explain away his descriptions about me. How did he know where I was during his surgery? How did he know what I was doing, and not just me, but his mother as well? If he was making this up, how was he nailing every detail accurately? The only explanation that worked was his, “I was up above you Dad. I could look down and see you.” In regard to the loss of your daughter due to a misscarriage – Colton said he met her in heaven. How did you perceive this – how emotional was it for you and your wife? Did Colton tell you what she looked like? (This is an important topic to discuss as so many women have lost babies and children and they are looking for answers and some kind of hope). The most profound experience
Todd & Colton
Burpo
supernatural.
That same love that started Colton’s trip to heaven is what continued through everything else he describes. Colton says it this way, “Dad, in heaven, you can just feel God’s love all the time!” besides learning from Colton that he had been sitting on Jesus’ lap was learning about our daughter. Sonja miscarried at two months. Next to our time in the hospital, listening to Colton describe meeting his sister in heaven, was our most emotional event. It started very painfully as Colton told his mom that she had a baby die in her tummy. We were stunned and confused! How did he know? But we obviously had only buried the hurt from the loss of this miscarried child. Not only did Colton have our attention, but the tears were flowing. To discover that she was fine, to hear what she looked like, to know that Colton was hugged by her, and realize that she could see us and was waiting on our arrival to heaven to join her was incredible! The Bible talks about a peace that passes understanding. Sonja and I can truly say that we experienced that special peace that day. To share that peace with other parents who have lost children, born or unborn, is a wonderful accomplishment. We are
constantly thrilled to hear of the healing other parents have found through Colton’s testimony. In your view, what was the highlight of Colton’s trip to heaven? Does he still have vivid memories of his time with Jesus? For me, it has to be Colton sitting on Jesus’ lap. When I was scared and screaming for God to do something, He was. He was holding and comforting my son for me. That same love that started Colton’s trip to heaven is what continued through everything else he describes. Colton says it this way, “Dad, in heaven, you can just feel God’s love all the time!” And yes, his memories of not just Jesus, but God the Father and God the Holy Spirit continue to be vivid.
Colton Burpo
Burpo Family
What is a story about heaven that Colton shared with the family that may not be found in the book you have written? He likes to talk about Gabriel and Michael. These arch angels are vivid and real individuals to
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supernatural.
“
Nobody has to live alone or struggle with life’s challenges alone”
Colton. He also talks about his conversations with each angel. It’s neat to hear that Gabriel is about one and a half times taller than me, but Michael is twice as tall as me. Both are taller than Jesus, but as Colton says, “…but Dad, Jesus is way more powerful than both of them.” How have Colton’s experiences affected your daughter and younger son? Has this experience brought them closer to God? Colton’s child-like faith is contagious. And fortunately, both siblings seem to have caught Colton’s faith. As parents, we are extremely grateful. But otherwise, Colton’s relationship to his brother and sister continues to be normal. Some days they get along, and other days they fight. As Cassie shared her suggested title for the book, He’s Back, but He’s No Angel. Colton is not any more perfect than the rest of us. I also think that is a wonderful comfort to know. None of us have to be perfect to experience or receive God’s grace. We just need to turn to Jesus. How has this affected your life and also your wife’s? My life and my wife’s lives are
hectic at the moment. Foremost, however, we are very adamant that Colton continues to have a regular schedule. We make sure that he attends school and the associated activities he would otherwise be involved with. We also rely heavily on our church family because of the increased travel and responsibilities. They are the ones watching our children and supporting us while we are gone. The second thing that drives us is seeing the healing in people’s lives because of HIFR. We realize that God has given us a platform to talk about Him. We aren’t going to waste this moment. Sacrifices are worth making if you know you are making a difference for God. Has Colton fully recovered now? Is he speaking about his time in heaven and encouraging other children? Colton is healthy now. There are no continuing side effects from his medical crisis. And as always, Colton has never been bashful about his heavenly trip. One of his friends was defending Colton recently from critics online. She was very upset that people were attacking Colton. In her own words she explained
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18 Christian Woman Summer 2011
that the critics didn’t know what they were talking about. She knew what Colton said was true because she could remember Colton explaining everything in the book to her back in second grade. What messages do you hope non-believers will get from reading your book and hearing about Colton’s experiences? I hope they know that God can be found by them. Nobody has to live alone or struggle with life’s challenges alone. I also hope that they discover that God has a much better place to take them to if they want to go. Many today might think that bringing God into their lives devalues their life in some way. He might ‘cramp their style’. But for me, Jesus has made and continues to make my life valuable and rewarding. Lynn Goldsmith Editor-in-Chief Initiate Media
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A Different Perspective.
NINE MONTHS PREGNANT … Two Weeks Riding a Donkey
T
he Christmas juggernaut is hurtling our way again, can you tell? There have been Christmas decorations in some stores since September would you believe, and we’re about to do all that racing around that we do to make it over the line to ‘Christmas’ – whatever that is these days. And even if we do focus on that Babe in the manger – even if that somehow happens amidst all the clutter and clamour that is Christmas – I wonder whether it just doesn’t roll over the top of us a bit like … well … like one of those children’s pantomimes that plays itself out in just about ever church at some time during December. Sweet Baby Jesus nestled in the manger. Angels singing happy songs – a great warm and fuzzy! A Christmas lunch, some rest, a summer holiday and then back to work sometime in January. Is that what it’s all become? Well let’s just hold it right there and take a look at the reality of that first Christmas from a very different perspective … through the eyes of Mary for instance. (Something that of course, yours truly is uniquely unqualified to do). First … she falls pregnant by the Holy Spirit. Oh yeah, right?! I’m trying to imagine my twenty year old daughter trying that one on me. And can you imagine how delighted Mary’s boyfriend was? Well, not even boyfriend. The 20 Christian Woman Summer 2011
fiancé. The almost–husband. Joseph, some great news. I’m pregnant. God did it. Even if he could believe that (which through a dream ultimately he did) can you imagine the pain in the lad’s heart – robbed of that one thing that should have been uniquely his, to conceive a child with his beloved? Can you imagine the rumours and innuendo around town about this girl who’d fallen pregnant before being married (remembering that back then, this was a sin attracting shame of monumental proportions, not some life–style choice as it is for some today). Did you hear about Mary, the little tart? And that story – God did it? Unbelievable! At least she could just own up to it! Tramp! And then as her time drew near, she faced a two–week ride on the back of a donkey from Nazareth to Bethlehem. As you may gather I’ve never been full–term pregnant. But to all the women who have, let me ask you, how delighted would you have been to spend the last two weeks of your pregnancy on the back of a donkey, hoofing it from one rough night’s sleep to the next, only to get to your destination and discover they’d lost your hotel reservation? Full?! Full?! Can’t you see she’s to have a baby?! Can’t you find anywhere for her to sleep? Well, as it turned out, there was that shed out back, so long as she was prepared to share it with
Berni Dymet reveals the true meaning of Christmas
the livestock. Was that okay? Come on you mothers. How many of you would have been overjoyed to give birth in a drafty, dirty stable amidst the stench of cow dung and sheep’s urine? Well? And then place your precious child in a feeding trough with hay that had been slobbered over by some of the more disgusting farm animals? Am I being a bit melodramatic do you think? Well, you tell me how you think this pantomime played itself out the first time round. Have I left anything out? Oh yes. The most important bit. The fact that Jesus is the only human being in history who had the ability to choose the time, place and circumstances of His birth. Think about that. The One who created everything that has been created. He was and is and is to come. He chose where and how and when He would be born … and He chose this! And what about the Father’s perspective! I sometimes ponder what it must have been like for God the Father - looking down on the birth of His Son. Not in a castle fit for a King. Not even a comfortable, middle class home like my own. But in a cold, uncomfortable animal shelter that we romantically refer to as ‘that stable’.
A Different Perspective.
As the Son of God came into this harsh world and drew His first breath of that rancid, foul stable air - what was going on in the Father’s heart? Were there tears in His eyes? Was His heart filled with the overwhelming joy of anticipation, knowing what His beloved Son would reveal of His love to this world? Or was it torn with grief, knowing the price this child would pay at the hands of the very men on whom His love was to be poured out? And as He watched His Son in that stable on that night, was His heart a flood with the intensity of His love for you and me? Did He perhaps have it in mind that
we should unwrap this very first Christmas present with all the joy and anticipation and innocence of a child? Think. In the rush to make it to Christmas - how far have we strayed from the desires of His great heart on that night? How is it that we would even consider trading this priceless gem for worthless stones in our rush to manufacture a counterfeit Christmas? As I hear the powerful beat of my Father’s heart in this wondrous tale of Christ–mas, I believe with all that I am, that He has a tonic for our lives. A salve for our souls. It is as simple as it is beautiful. As
elementary as it is exquisite. This God–man who came to us as the lowliest of the low brought in the world by two struggling, ordinary teenagers – to meet us right at that point where we just know that we’re unworthy. This Gift, a Father’s gift. A gift that says I love you in a way that no other gift in history will ever do. May the Lord our God touch you deep inside as you unwrap this timeless gift, this priceless love; this Jesus once more. Afresh and anew. Christ–mas. Berni Dymet www.Chistianityworks.com
www.christianwoman.co.nz | www.christianwoman.com.au 21
Faith.
A TALE OF COURAGE From the book Journey of Hope Michael Davey shares his story with Kara Martin and Lynn Goldsmith of institutional life from the age of 17 months to abuse to then finding Christ and fulfiling his dreams. It is a heart wrenching story but one that ends with inspiration and faith
M
ichael was just 17 months old when he and his five siblings were dropped off at the Sydney Metropolitan Children’s Court and became wards of the state. As he grew up in various institutions and foster care, he was actually unaware that he had siblings. His life in foster care was harsh. He was abused by his foster Uncle, felt unloved by his foster mother who didn’t even acknowledge his birthdays, and during ‘respite’ times at Royleston’s Boys Home, various 22 Christian Woman Summer 2011
carers watched and interfered with the boys while they were having showers. He had developed various survival techniques to get through his traumatic upbringing. One was humour, with his quick wit helping him overcome awkward social situations, and escape punishment. The second, unfortunately, was alcohol, combined with risk-taking behaviour. Twice he was involved in car accidents that should have resulted in the death of all the occupants as well as him. After
the second, he found himself in hospital with concussion and facial cuts from being jettisoned through the windscreen. He reached into the drawer of the cupboard next to him, and started reading the Bible he found there. While Michael is subtle about the difference that faith made, it is clear that a sense of being loved was significant, and a sense that “God had his hand on my life”. In addition, Karen Chapman, consulting psychologist, includes a comment at the end of the book that fundamental to Michael overcoming the trauma of his
Faith.
“
…overcoming the trauma of his childhood was that he “believed in love and practised forgiveness.” These were the gifts of his faith
childhood was that he “believed in love and practised forgiveness.” These were the gifts of his faith. We ask Michael what was significant about writing his book. Why did you decide to write Journey of Hope? Well, there were a number of reasons. Firstly, I wanted to celebrate the innocence and beauty of childhood. These years are extremely precious. Unfortunately, my childhood was largely lost and my innocence stolen at a young age, but in it I still discovered a couple of remarkable things – the significance of family and friendship. Experiencing the wonder of these two things gave me hope, which helped me endure many challenging things. Despite the difficulties I encountered as I journeyed through to adulthood, these exquisite wonders still held me in awe. Owing to their rarity, I cherish them dearly, and I wanted to share them with others. Secondly, I wanted to highlight the plight of children in foster care. Many fostered children were, or have been given up by their parents or carers, mostly in unfortunate and heartbreaking circumstances. A number of these people experienced great trauma at the hands of the people meant to provide safety and care. Thirdly, I wanted to describe my depressive episode and encourage others who have suffered something similar. If you’re still there then take heart – it will eventually pass. In dealing effectively with it I’m encouraging others to seek professional help, just like I did. To anyone
who has a family member or friend suffering from depression you must continue to love them and never, ever stop doing this. Sometimes they don’t understand what they’re doing or the consequences of their actions. Also, I want to ‘destigmatise’ depression and expose it for all that it is – just an illness that is no different to other illnesses such as diabetes or for that matter, a broken leg. Lastly, I wanted to make a simple statement – it doesn’t matter what difficulties you’ve experienced in your journey because you can still find happiness and purpose in life. In essence, this book encourages you to reach for the sky. What motivated you to write Journey of Hope? I wrote Journey of Hope to provide hope and encouragement to others. Unfortunately, most of us have a natural tendency to dwell on our past, especially when we have been hurt or abused. Journey of Hope looks at this through my experiences and makes a clear statement; we can all move on from our past and find meaning and fulfillment in life. Refusing to dwell on the negative things that happen is of crucial importance. Also, we need to forgive others who have wronged us.Ten-percent of the proceeds from the sale of every copy of my book is donated to Mission Australia’s Triple Care Farm, which meets the needs of homeless and disadvantaged youth.
In his 20s Michael went back to TAFE to complete his HSC, overcoming some false starts. Then he went on to university and achieved well in his Science degree. He was offered a scholarship to complete a PhD in Chemistry, and did a diploma in Education to become a science teacher. Michael was even offered a coveted scholarship to study medicine, but decided that his calling was to teach. This was a remarkable transformation from his poor schooling record, and the assessment of his teachers.
Tell us a bit about what your book covers? Journey of Hope is an honest and open account of my time as a fostered and institutionalised child. In those cold and sterile places I experienced abandonment, rejection and abuse. Retelling these events was a very emotional experience and naturally enough, my story is an emotional one. There are also the powerful and compelling interactions between my violent, abusive schizophrenic parent and myself. My mother completely rejected me, but I longed for her affection and love, in similar ways to how she treated my siblings who she genuinely loved. I internalised my mother’s rejection and hatred of me when I was a child and did not adequately understand the way schizophrenia had manifest itself in her. Journey of Hope also openly discusses the post traumatic stress disorder that I experienced
www.christianwoman.co.nz | www.christianwoman.com.au 23 Evelyn Duprai with James Morrison
Faith.
“
Journey of Hope also addresses the topical issues of depression and anxiety and speaks openly and honestly about these chronic conditions”
as an adult, which included a 12year depressive episode where at one point, I almost committed suicide. Both illnesses were related to the significant abuse I experienced as a child, especially at the hands of my tragically mentally-ill mother. It was also related to my low self-esteem. This is because as a young man I felt worthless, completely unlovable and a total failure; all products of my childhood. Journey of Hope also shows how I overcame this incredibly negative mindset and began to appreciate and believe in myself. This was all intimately related to becoming a Christian when I was 22 years old. It was a turning point in my life and God then took me on a journey of significant healing and restoration. I was fortunate to have married a beautiful, caring Christian woman and from our Christ-centered union had two wonderful children who love the Lord. Unfortunately, I had been a delinquent as a child and was unable to succeed at school, growing up believing that I would never amount to anything. It was in fact, a real and persistent fear that I had – I genuinely believed that I would always fail in academic pursuits. However, I was able to overcome this fear of failure, eventually winning $160, 000 in scholarships to study at university including PhD and Medicine scholarships.
and women and adolescents. The things that I’ve experienced both men and women have also experienced as have teenagers. Many people, including men, women and our youth have spoken to me about my book saying they know how I felt because they experienced similar things in their lives. In fact, a number of teenagers whom I’ve taught and worked with in youth groups have suffered depression and some were or are fostered. With this common bond, there is a strong friendship forged straight away. I recently had a book launch in Sydney and Steve Irons, the Federal Member for Swan and former State ward, spoke on my behalf. He said that he could relate to all things in my story. Many people who were there are called ‘Forgotten Australians’ – people who grew up in Church or State care.
Do you hope by writing the book that you’re reaching out to men or women who are having or have had the same experience? I am reaching out to both men
How do the themes of the book relate to current issues in society today? Journey of Hope speaks openly about childhood abuse and neglect. These are important
24 Christian Woman Summer 2011
What did you set out to achieve by writing Journey of Hope? I wanted to encourage others, but I never realised that I would gain a remarkable understanding of myself in the process. Having the pages of my life opened in front of me resulted in being very therapeutic. I understood for the first time why I struggled in relationships, running away from friends who were reaching out to me – all because I was afraid that they would reject me.
and compelling issues in our society and ones that need to be prevented. But this can only be achieved when such issues are placed in the clear light of day, acknowledged and steps taken to prevent such things from happening again. We all need to look after our children and there are still many fostered children in our society who experience what I’ve experienced. Awareness and education seem to be improving the situation, but abuse of fostered children still occurs. Journey of Hope takes the necessary steps towards awareness and education, and highlights the plight of children in foster care. Journey of Hope also addresses the topical issues of depression and anxiety and speaks openly and honestly about these chronic conditions, and encourages sufferers to seek professional help, just like I did. Also, there are the emotive charged interactions between a schizophrenic parent and her son who she blames for her illness. Journey of Hope also highlights my genuine desire to show others how to become successful in life, throwing off the shackles of fear and failure and tackling life head on. Kara Martin Lynn Goldsmith
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Giving.
SEASON OF
HOPE Christmas is also a time to think about those who live in poverty, are disadvantaged or are unwanted
A
s we venture into the season of golden tinsel, twinkling lights and miss-matched tree decorations dug out from the back of the cupboard, it’s hard not to feel a bubbling sense of hope and anticipation for the festive months ahead. After all, Christmas is about hope: a child’s not-so-innocent inspection of their gifts under the tree, the promise of family holidays in the sun and the timeless reminder that God chose to send His son to Earth as a child to redeem our sins. In developing countries all over the world, millions of children will also be looking towards Christmas and the New Year with hope for their future, despite the very real poverty that many face today. Whether it is the dream of becoming an engineer, a leader, or a parent with the skills to provide for their family, God has placed hope in the heart of every child. Beguens’ Story When Beguens was a boy, he would walk the shores of his island home in Haiti and dream about his future. At the tender age of five, Beguens already knew poverty intimately, but he also believed that God had a brilliant plan for his life. Beguens’ childhood and teenage years were far from easy. However, with the loving support of Compassion and his sponsor, as well as his own determination to do God’s will, Beguens finished school and
26 Christian Woman Summer 2011
was enrolled in university to study a Masters Degree in Population Studies. “The suffering of our people was heavy on my heart. We have endured more than we can bear for so many years: earthquakes, fighting, riots, floods,” says Beguens. “I knew I needed to work hard, become educated and focus on God if I was to fulfil my dream of being a leader for the people.” After graduation, Beguens became a professor and later a Program Facilitator for a Compassion child development centre. But although he loved his work, Beguens decided to step out in faith and pursue a role in government that would allow him to achieve his dream of leadership. “I knew the Lord had more in store for me,” says Beguens. “There is so much we must do to make things right in Haiti, and I believe it starts with our children.” Today, Beguens is serving in Haiti’s parliament as a congressman, using his role to improve the lives of children in poverty and give them the chance to see their hopes and dreams realised, just as his were. “It’s my vision as a government official and man of God to save our little ones from the horrors of poverty,” says Beguens. “The Lord has blessed me in so many ways; I was freed from the chains of poverty and given the chance to live out my dreams as a leader. It is because of Him that I am here today.”
Giving. Cho’s story Cho remembers his childhood in Korea vividly. His parents ran a store that sold charcoal, rice, vegetables and fish. Though he didn’t realise it at the time, his family were steeped in debt that eventually left them bankrupt. Even when they started a small business, Cho remembers days when he would go to school without lunch. But throughout this time, Cho remained hopeful for the future. Every month he received letters of love and encouragement, as well as financial support, from his Compassion sponsors— the Enzou family—as part of Compassion’s Child Sponsorship Program, run in his local church. Their words gave him the confidence and self-belief to enrol in the School of Commerce once he graduated from school, and later, to gain a job at the Bank of Korea. “I treasured the pictures of my sponsors,” says Cho. “Every time I organised my photo album, I took special care of the three pictures I had of my sponsor family.” Years later, Cho married and began a family of his own—a family that included a Compassion sponsored child. “My wife brought home a Compassion leaflet she’d received at a concert,” says Cho. “I realized it was the organization that linked me to my sponsors, so I decided to sponsor too.” It’s been 30 years since Cho went to school without money or food for lunch. Looking back, he is thankful for the hope that his sponsors instilled in him during his childhood and believes their positive influence has helped shape who he is today. “The Esau family shared a part of their life with me, and, gradually, little pieces of them are showing up in me. I feel blessed,” says Cho.
Ramesh’s story Ramesh had always felt more at home at the Salvation Army boys’ hostel in Tirunelveli, India, where his father left him after his mother died when he was three, than in his father’s home. It was the hostel staff who nursed him back to health from the childhood illness that almost killed him, when his father refused to take him home. And it was the hostel staff who registered Ramesh with the Compassion Child Sponsorship Program in Valliyoor. “When I was in tenth grade, Appa [dad] remarried,” says Ramesh. “But I hardly go home because it causes fights between my dad and my step-mother. I go to the hostel where I grew up; it is my home.” From a young age, Ramesh’s dream was to become a doctor. But without his father’s support, Ramesh believed he had no option but to leave school and get a full-time job that would pay for his university fees. However, when Compassion staff learnt of Ramesh’s dream, they encouraged him to apply for Compassion’s Leadership Development Program, a program that supports students through university. Though Ramesh’s dream was to become a doctor, he was accepted into engineering at Jeppiar Engineering College in Chennai. “I applied for both engineering and medical colleges and I got a seat here,” says Ramesh. “I quite like engineering and I plan to specialise in nanotechnology. That way, I can get back into the medical field.” Though his lectures were conducted in English—his second language—Ramesh grew in academic ability and confidence with the help of his Leadership Development Program sponsor, Mike. “What encourages me the most is that Mike is an engineer
himself,” says Ramesh. “He and his wife Sherry write to me and encourage me to do well in my studies.” Ramesh hopes to study nanotechnology one day, but for now he plans to find work in the software industry and use part of his income to support his stepsister through university. “It is expected of me, and besides, I want to do it,” says Ramesh. “I am grateful to God, who has given me all my heart’s desires and for having taken care of me all this while. I know that were it not for Compassion, I would not be who I am today.” Give hope this Christmas! Did you know that in 2010, the average Aussie spent $662 on Christmas gifts? That’s a total of $8.5 billion nationwide! And yet, despite the generosity of our gift giving, ebay reports that by early 2012, there’s likely to be upwards of $1 billion in unwanted gifts resold on their website alone. Though Christmas gifts are an incredible way to show someone they’re loved, maybe it’s time to shift the way we think about what we choose to give. Giving gifts through not-for-profit organisations like Compassion at Christmas not only avoids the chaos of shopping centres and post-Christmas financial hangovers, it also gives you and the special someone you are buying for the assurance that your gift will also give the best gift of all to a child and their family— hope. This Christmas, giving a friend a Gift of Compassion could also give a mosquito net to protect kids in Kenya from malaria, or veggie seeds for families in the Philippines. Visit www. giftsofcompassion.com.au or call Compassion Australia on 1300 22 44 53 to order yours today.
www.christianwoman.co.nz | www.christianwoman.com.au 27
Business. Giving.
BORN TO WIN From accountant to make-up artist Maria Roselli has led an interesting life – now she is taking on the business world and influencing women.. as she tells Lynn Goldsmith
28 Christian Woman Summer 2011
Business.
T
alking to Maria Roselli is like having this ray of sunshine beaming down from on high. She is positive, professional and one of the most enthusiastic people I have known. From an accountant to a make-up artist, Maria takes her work seriously and in fact, serious enough to want to influence the nations for God. She is out to make an impact for Christ, and yes, she will do it. Maria grew up in a very insular and strict environment. Her parents were very protective and family life was very oppressive for her. She maintains she was controlled, manipulated and dominated into submission, flavoured with guilt. She took the brunt of her parents’ issues and baggage. Her parents did the best they could but because of their own upbringing they didn’t know any other way. It was generational sin at work, according to Maria. Growing up she was not allowed to go out at all – and wasn’t allowed to drive but, she managed to get her licence at 25. “My parents didn’t see me as having a career, but just getting married and having children, which was the opposite to my two brothers,” Maria explains. “They were expected to be successful and my father really encouraged their education and to make something of their life. Whereas for me, it was work in an office, get married and have children.” Her parents said they wanted a girl for their old age. So, because of their oppressive ways of thinking and attitudes, Maria developed the same mindset. “My father never allowed me to groom myself; I was never allowed to shave my legs or wear make-up. My father used to cut my hair and my mother compensated by giving me junk food for comfort – out of her own guilt, which led to a weight problem. I felt like I was in a prison with an open door.” Maria admits she then had in her heart feelings of lack of self-worth, rejection frustration and resentment. There was really no joy – she was just waiting for the day when she would meet the ‘fantasy’ husband that her mother had painted for her. “One day I would get married and it would all be beautiful – what an illusion!” she says. “I did actually meet my husband at work and this was a fulfilment of what my parents had declared over me.” Maria’s parents encouraged her to study accountancy so she could work in an office, meet an educated man and then he could support her while she stayed at home. That was fulfilled – so all the baggage and issues and generational sin had now been manifested in her marriage. “I did find a man who I loved, but because of the generational influences my marriage suffered,” she says. “However not only my marriage but also my relationship with extended family and friends. My
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Business.
“There was a point in time that I was after spiritual knowledge – I wanted to know why my life was the way it was,” weight was ballooning as I was turning to food as my comfort, rather than to any power within. By the time my children were four and two, I was suicidal. I cried out to the Lord to help me to find something. I remember saying, ‘My life has got to be better than this; this is not what my life is meant to be.’ I had had enough.” Maria’s life was about to turn around. A few weeks later, whilst visiting her cousin, she found a course list and opened it and came across – ‘Make up artistry for commercial purposes’. She explains, “There was an excitement in my spirit and I thought – ‘this was what I wanted to do’. I had such a hunger for beauty and glamour. The enemy, when I was at a young age, tried to steal it from me. When I was growing up there was ugliness on the inside and the outside.” She studied and received her Certificate and started her own business straight away and began winning awards for best makeup artist in the bridal industry. Maria has won six awards for number one makeup artist in New South Wales and Australia. “There was a point in time that I was after spiritual knowledge – I wanted to know why my life was the way it was,” Maria says quite openly. “This was after my father had died and we had a feud with my mother-in-law and sister-inlaw. I was introduced into New Age theologies and after a while I had started a business called ‘Personal Best’ and I had this burning passion in my spirit to help women and help them come out of oppression. “But there was something missing in my spirit – there was
30 Christian Woman Summer 2011
no connection to anything – New Age was about pushing and striving in your own strength. Just as I started in that business, the Lord sent a prophet into my makeup studio and she told me it was my calling to be a lamp unto the feet of women and draw out the beauty and power which was under the hurt and rejection. I hadn’t met Christ as this stage. I had tingly feelings over my head when she was telling me and my spirit told me immediately this was truth and I gave my heart to Him straight away. I knew I had been called to create an enterprise for charity and to fund missions and centres for women. “After six months of giving my heart to the Lord I won my latest award for best makeup artist in Australia. I said to the Lord, ‘What do you want me to do with this?’ I felt a leaning in my spirit to start my own cosmetics range. I mentioned it in church to someone and that very afternoon, when I got home, I went straight to my computer and there was an email from a manufacturer asking if I wanted to create my own label. God has answered me. So I did! I called my range ‘Pia Cosmetics’ which is Latin for pure, and is also my daughter’s name, a name that I always loved, as my range is pure mineral makeup.” Wanting to create finances to fund what God has called her to do is the dream for Maria. She wants to lead women to the Lord, to know who they are and the beauty and power they have within, when they have an intimate relationship with Jesus. She wishes to show them how much they are loved and how worthy they are and to not look for
validation or approval from others but only unto God the Father. That they can do anything because of the Holy Spirit within them and lead them out of the bondage of their circumstances - to lead them out of oppression, rejection, hurt, fear, lack and limitation. Maria is adamant that with Jesus women can have an abundance of love, joy and peace, good health, prosperity and a purpose in life – they can have the desires of their heart, because He’s the one who put it there and He will fulfil it. All we need is unwavering faith. “By using my life as an example I want to demonstrate that God can do anything and He’s greater than any circumstance,” she explains. “He has taken someone from utter oppression who wishes they were dead, to someone who has victory for His glory. I want to lead women to be healed themselves and then with God’s power in them, to heal their families, their marriages and have victory over any circumstance and to go on to nurture others to rise up in Jesus’ name. To claim their dignity, beauty and power and to know who they are. “I want to touch women, not just in Western countries, but globally. I want to have an impact and influence women for their greatness and bring the Lord a harvest of souls by the love of the Father through women. I have now led my husband and children to the Lord and my mother as well and also other friends. So this is my passion in Christ. Lynn Goldsmith Editor-in-Chief Initiate Media
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Reflect. Reflection.
L’chaim! TO LIFE!
Topol’s toast to life in the Fiddler on the Roof, ‘L’chai-im!’ is more than just a common Jewish drinking toast, as Dale Garratt can testify to . . .
T
he scene must have been fascinating to an onlooker. It was back in the late 1980s and there were five of us crammed into a very small rental car. We were driving down the 405 freeway in California headed for Anaheim to a Booksellers’ Convention. The fascinating bit was that strapped to the roof of our little car were several cases of pineapples. Why? Because we were on yet another diet, this one was pineapples only, except for the occasional banana. Oh the relief! The diet was not too complicated, and they said if you just ate pineapples, you would lose seven pounds in seven days. We had done it for two weeks already and the weight was falling off, but the thing they didn’t tell you was that the inside of your mouth ended up feeling like a scouring pad! Needless to say pineapples and I were not on speaking terms for many years, and what is worse— the weight piled back on when we stopped. Diet books have made a lot of authors extremely wealthy and every magazine that has been published for women has a new diet. I’ve done them all I think. So what happened to me that finally helped me achieve an 18 kilo weight loss? Well it was a change of attitude. I took on board some new behaviours and told myself to ‘grow up and get a life’ that 32 Christian Woman Summer 2011
would be useful to others for the long haul. My father died of coronary atheroma at the age of 72 and I figured I was predisposed to have the same fate because he gave me his DNA. Just as important as our genes is the way of life that is modelled to us from an early age. I learned some very bad food habits from my father, because parents teach by three basic rules. First by example, second by example, third by example. I still drool at the thought of a big pork chop but I view it as an opponent now, not a friend to satisfy some need or other. To understand my prospects for health and wellbeing I did two things. Firstly I looked at my family history of heart disease and bowel cancer, and drawing a great deal on God’s grace I changed some self-defeating habits. Secondly I educated myself by reading, listening and asking questions. Looking after the body Psalm 139 was a huge wake up call for me and worth some meditation time. “You made all the delicate inner parts of my body . . . thank you for making me so complex, your workmanship is marvellous—how well I know it.” (Ps 139:13 NLT) Our Creator’s workmanship is as King David says, truly marvellous. I was deeply troubled at the thought of being unappreciative of this fact.
So I made it a priority to deal with its implications and cherish the gift of life that is mine. So starting from the premise that education is power I decided to inform myself. I discovered a renowned heart doctor called Dean Ornish and read all his books. I came to the conclusion that firstly, heart disease is reversible and secondly, ‘bad’ fat makes you fat. Of course there are the omega fats in fish, nuts and some oils, that are good and necessary in moderation. I also learned that if I exercised even three times a week I would flush my arteries, lubricate my joints and get oxygen to my brain. Now that had to be a plus! I have to use a stationary bike these days because of two surgeries that I’ve had. My bike cost $199. I figured over 365 days at 55 cents a day it’s paid for and money well spent. Renewing the mind However there is, and always will be, more to adjust to than just the physical. My road map—the Bible—tells me to renew my mind (Ro 12:2). This is a principle and process that empowers us to new growth and change, and helps us to continually improve. With Scripture, it’s one thing to read the words; it’s another to engage with the words, ponder over them and look beyond them as to see how they can become
Reflect.
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grace I Drawing a great deal on God’s bits” changed some self-defeating ha
a meaningful part of our lives. While we are what we eat, we also become what we think. So in the area of my mind I have tried to understand and apprehend my destiny. Psalm 139:16 also tells us that in God’s book, all the days of our lives are written before they ever began. It would be a pity to mess up the ‘master plan’, although the human condition is always something we have to reign in so that we can engage with the will of God. Fortunately his mercies are new every morning. In particular, the letters to the churches, the epistles, as they are called, are filled with wonderful guidelines to help us walk in truth and integrity. If we mess with falsehood we forfeit our right to truth. Dag Hammarsskjold said, “He who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn’t reserve a plot for weeds.” Strength in our soul Then there is our soul, the place of our desires, needs, and emotions—the place where our character is. We can have a mind
full of good intentions but the passion to do them is in our soul. Psalm 103:1 says, “Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.” Our soul, our essence, needs communication, because as we talk to our innateness and find a response, then our mind and actions will usually follow. If the desire for private victories is being formed deep in our soul, we will reap the reward of the right result. The body has many parts that all need to line up, that’s why a quick fix, or band-aid over our problems will never take us to our true destiny. It takes work to change behaviour or turn a habit around. Feeding the spirit Last, but of course not least, is our spirit—the only part of ourselves that lives once the others are laid to rest. The strength of this eternal ‘us’ is forged in the crucible of our daily lives. It is greatly enhanced by meditation on the Scriptures. Psalm 1:3 assures us if we meditate on God’s Word we are “like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in
season and whose leaf does not wither.” Whatever we do prospers. It is smart, wise and necessary to take the time to meditate on truth and absorb it. Our spirit responds greatly to thanksgiving, praise and worship—in fact any connection with God. Service is another avenue helping to enrich our spirit. I try to surround my soul with beauty regularly. It’s free right outside the door. I energise my spirit by connecting it with my creator and his truths. I purpose to make the needs of others a priority in my life. This brings me enormous satisfaction and joy. I am not and never will be perfect—rather I tend to think that being oneself is rather an acquired taste, but heck, at least if I get run over by a bus some of me will be in reasonable shape. Remember everything is achieved by manageable steps and perseverance: “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” George Eliot. CW Dale Garratt
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Singlehearted.
TURNING REACTIONS . . . Stuck in the same old rut? Sandra Cavallo suggests some ways to break new ground . . .
G
rowing up I had friends who used to love to stir me up. I was apparently totally predictable, as they knew exactly what pushed my buttons and provided great entertainment. For example, I would always respond to sexist remarks about women’s roles in society. I have a slight feminist streak and therefore will do anything to champion how fantastic our sex is. In my old age I’ve gained wisdom and decided I didn’t need to continue providing friends with entertainment. So I changed tack and became predictably boring with my responses. It’s occurred to me how something quite trivial can apply in the spiritual. As we progress through life, what we react to tells us a great deal of what’s going on inside. The enemy knows exactly how to stir you up, bring you down and get you off course. If you’re experiencing patterns of negative reactions, then they need to be mastered and a new approach undertaken. Ask yourself: Do you have a predictable reaction? Does the enemy know how to get you to react the way he wants? Have you questioned why you react the way you do? As single women there are reactions the enemy is seeking to get our focus off Jesus. We need to respond differently. Here are a couple of examples. Hopelessness Most Christians can quote Jeremiah 29:11 verbatim, so it
34 Christian Woman Summer 2011
shouldn’t surprise us if an enemy tactic is hopelessness. You will notice hope is sandwiched between faith and love (1 Cor 13:13). If the enemy can affect our hope, he knows it will in turn affect our faith in and love for God. Disappointments are a great way to develop a reaction of hopelessness. And it is never just one disappointment; it is often a build up. Let’s take believing for husbands as an example. If you’ve had relationships that haven’t worked out, experienced unmet expectations and find it hard to meet anyone new, hopelessness can gradually set in. A recent situation that didn’t turn out the way I had hoped set me on a familiar path. The voices were also familiar: “You’re never going to meet someone”, “You can’t hope or trust God for this.” My natural response to protect myself from continual disappointment was to stop expecting and hoping for the best. Hope would be squashed. When the enemy wants to target you with hopelessness, his end intention is for your love to grow cold (Mt 24:12). In times like these we need to arm ourselves with a different response. The Word is our hope. God is hope and he is good. We need to know God’s delays are not necessarily his denials. His word states, “No good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” (Ps 84:11) Be armed with hope when disappointments target you.
Fear Fear is another tactic of the enemy. Its purpose is for you to operate in the flesh rather than godliness. Fear encourages you to take control and strive, rather than trust God’s perfect plan and timing. If you’re predisposed to fear and this is a common reaction then you need to enter into faith, which brings rest. Let’s continue with the example of believing for husbands. I have a girlfriend who has had a couple of relationships recently. Every time the break up took place she heard familiar voices: “You’re in your 30s, you’re running out of time to get married and have a family”, “This Christian thing is too hard. You’re limiting yourself.” Her response and desire was to take things into her own hands and not trust God to provide. The voice bullied her to take charge and question God’s ways. When fear charges in, often confusion follows. To counteract this we need to step into faith. Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” We can expect when we step into faith, rest and peace follow (Is 26:3). Before you react, check whether your response is out of fear or faith and then move. Everyday we have a choice to respond to events and circumstances. Why not make this coming year one of responding to circumstances differently? As the old adage says, nothing changes when nothing changes. Let’s ensure we are reacting the way God would want us to be. CW
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