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M AY 2 6 J U N E 1

Flower power Blooms are not just for the Chelsea Flower Show, wear them with pride

WIN dinner for two at Limassol’s Boho Chic Tapas bar

02 THOUGHT

contents

Don’t shout too soon about girls taking over

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People: Known to her former husband as ‘The Cypriot terrorist’, lawyer has ambivalent relationship with the island

07 Lifestyle: Are you doing the job that you are cut out for?

ut up the bunting, ladies, and crack open the champagne! It’s taken 12,000 years but the patriarchy is fi nally crumbling. In fact, oestrogen is staging a coup, crushing testosterone under its pretty kitten heel. Men are in crisis. They’re out of date. Conscientious, adaptable women will soon rule the world. The future is female.

At least, this is the theory being peddled by a band of writers, even though their argument sounds like it might have its academic grounding in a Beyoncé song. After last year’s tomes The End of Men and The Richer Sex, The Athena Doctrine hit the New York Times bestseller list this month. Its authors, John Gerzema and Michael D’Antonio, claim that to get ahead in business or government it pays to exhibit “feminine traits”.

Now I’ve never quite known what it means to “think like a woman”, despite being one myself. Since we number 3.5 billion, I’ve always assumed there

This is still a man’s world says ROSAMUND URWIN might be some diversity among us.

So perhaps it’s lucky there are two male authors on hand to instruct me. Apparently, women are big on collaboration, loyalty and patience; men are analytical and assertive.

And the traits that organisations increasingly desire are those that fall in the female camp.

Which is confusing when Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg’s manifesto for the career-focused female, essentially instructed us to ape our male colleagues, to be more self-assured.

But I’d posit that what Gerzema and D’Antonio have really identified is a gap between what employers claim to want and what they reward. Empathy may sound peachy, but it’s the nakedly a m b i -

tious who usually still get the nod for the next job. As ambition is often a dirty word when applied to women and there’s a tendency to recruit in one’s own image, we still face a double disadvantage in the workplace.

And what worries me about this matriarchal delusion is that it may breed complacency. If women are on the cusp of taking over, what are feminists complaining about? Are we not just being impatient?

But where are the signs that we are about to witness a breakthrough in female power? Just look at the male domination of the world’s parliaments and boardrooms - we’re chipping away slowly, not surging forward.

Or note that on the Forbes list of the most powerful women in the world published this week, two of the top four were there thanks to their husbands. When women are a minority in the up upper echelons of almost every spher sphere of influence business, politics, politic media, science - cla claiming the future is female fe is like betting on a football tea team when they’re five-nil v down at h half-time.

This is still a man’s w world - and we’ll o only get to draw w with them if we k keep fighting.

Would you bet oon them at half time if they were we 5-0 down?

17 21 Fashion: Flower power takes over this season’s clothes

Whatson: Classic cars from around the world to descend on Cyprus

We’re quick to ditch principles if bargains beckon

By Lucy Tobin The thing that’s amazing about Amazon is no longer that it’s paying very little tax, or that it’s putting bookshops out of business, or that it makes it too easy for us to spend a lot of money. These things are bad, but what’s amazing is that almost all of us still shop there.

This isn’t a moralising rant; not least because I use it all the time. A few months back, when Amazon was flogging a T-shirt emblazoned with the slogan, “Keep Calm and Hit Her”, I tweeted a link to the page with the caption, “another reason not to shop there”. Lots of people agreed; then someone pointed out my Twitter bio encouraged readers to buy my books.

Via Amazon.

I took it off for a bit, but it had all the reviews, and I wanted to make

book sales. So back it went. And so to Amazon UK’s accounts posted this week, showing that it generated £4.2 billion of sales in the UK last year, but paid only £2.4 million in corporation tax.

Clearly there’s some work to be done on tackling the tax avoidance of the likes of Amazon and Google. But humiliating them won’t boost tax coffers. A boycott could inspire a U-turn that would. Yet most of us are too apathetic.

It’s not just aiding tax avoidance that’s on our shopping hands. There are deaths in our carrier bags too.

More than 1,100 lives lost in that Bangaldeshi garment factory’s collapse, and just a handful of us protested outside the high street retailers that supply those factories with orders. The likes of Marks & Spencer, H&M and Primark went on to sign a deal to help

pay for safety improvements in the country’s factories.

But less than a month after the tragedy, for most of us - judging by the queues at the tills of Brent Cross’ stores last weekend – the value of a cheap fashion fi x seems to be more alluring than concern over the peril in which that fi x is made.

About half of shoppers are no more likely to ask where garments come from than before the disaster, according to a survey this week. In squeezed households, cheap rules.

There’s a big fat disjuncture between what we’d like, in an ideal world, and where we spend our money. The fact is, we like buying things cheaply or online because - even if the retailer is irresponsible or morally reprehensible - that’s what we can afford, or most easily access. But that doesn’t make it any better.

SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

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By Charles Saatchi

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hat’s the most you would pay for a fish? I don’t imagine you would care to beat the world record of £472,125 paid in January 2012 for a bluefin tuna by Kiyoshi Kimura, the successful bidder from Tokyo.

Even if, like him, you owned a chain of sushi restaurants, having to pay £1,700 per pound of tuna is a bit steep, despite charging very high prices and serving very small portions. But of course the purchase did make Kimura highly respected in the sushi community, where his epithet is Tuna Titan.

Sadly for tuna, they are more prized as a Japanese treat than for being a particularly intelligent species of ocean animal.

Everyone already knows that dolphins have highly developed cognitive senses but nobody ever told me that sea lions are also extremely bright.

The US Navy has a Marine Mammal Programme using seals (not Navy Seals, silly) to detect mines and help recover equipment. In IQ tests they demonstrate that they have the best memory of any non-human, recalling tasks they performed many years earlier.

Fish are enough to put you off your chips Octopuses can solve intricate puzzles, and distinguish between a variety of geometric shapes.

They exhibit signs of play and personality, and are notorious for being troublesome aquarium inhabitants, squirting jets of water to short-out overhead lights, escaping their tanks to break into others’ to feed, then quietly returning to their own.

Sea otters have learnt how to use tools, employing rocks to break open clams, their favourite lunch.

My favourite Lotharios of the deep are cuttlefish; cunning experts at using deception and camouflage, they adopt female colours and form to slip past large rivals and mate with guarded lady cuttlefish.

I am also impressed with the angler fish, which dangles a fleshy

lump above its head like a fisherman’s lure. It can sit totally still but wriggle its bait, which even transmits an appealing glow. The angler fish is blessed with a cavernous mouth and inward-pointing teeth to gulp down and hold big fish as it enlarges its jaws and stomach.

I’m never going to go for a dip in the Amazon so I have absolutely no fear of piranha.

In fact as I can’t swim, I’m perfectly happy to look at terrifying close-ups of the bacteria-coated teeth of the 12ft moray eel, or even scarier, its cousin the gulper eel, with a mouth that is slack hinged and bigger than its body, which conveniently expands for heavy meals.

If it’s really dramatically large teeth you wish to admire, the snakehead fish can occasionally

be seen crawling on wet land, using its primitive lung for breathing air, moving from one pond or lake to another searching for a new selection of dinners.

Alarmingly for New Yorkers, a large one was caught recently in Central Park, and the authorities fear there may be more…

The fangtooth fish has such elongated teeth that it needs a pair of sockets on either side of its head to slot them into when its mouth is closed.

All things considered, I think just sitting at a riverbank fishing is beginning to sound like a hazardous Extreme Sport.

And Oxford University will confirm the conclusion obvious to all aqua-phobes like me: commercial fishermen are 50 times more likely to die compared with people in other professions. I cannot

imagine the statistics for fatalities among scuba divers.

Did you know you could get a degree in ichthyology? Ichthyologists are experts in marine biology and fisheries science. Aristotle was the fi rst to turn to fish as a formal academic study, and documented anatomical and behavioural differences between fish and marine mammals.

Generally considered to be the most influential ichthyologist, David Starr Jordan wrote 650 articles and books on the subject, as well as serving as President of Stanford University.

So if you think having your children take media studies as an A-level subject is unworthy of their potential, you could always buy them a couple of goldfish and see if that sparks their inner Aristotle.

Satellite scientists

New beers launch

Cleanest waters

people have been charged so far this year in relation to selling fish allegedly from Turkey, which is coming in through the north.

Between January and April of this year, nine infringements were recorded at the Ayios Dhometios checkpoint, where 300 kilos of fish products have been confiscated. Another 23 cases have been recorded at fish markets, restaurants and other selling points for fish.

This number of infringements so far this year is almost as many as were recorded during the whole of last year - 33.

These violations have to do with illegally caught fish, fish products not supported with the proper documentation, stating where their place of original is, or fish that are undersized.

The violations were discovered after complaints were received or during checks performed by the department of fisheries and marine research.

Cypriot scientists are part of the team at a complex in Kofi nou where work has begun on the design of the new HellasSat3 satellite to be launched into orbit in 2016.

They are drawing up the satellite’s technical specifications.

The experts are working out of Hellas Sat’s satellite control centre in Kofi nou.

Kofi nou is also the location of the telemetry, tracking and control (TT&C) subsystem which, together with another tracking station in Greece, will be communicating with the satellite once it is launched into space.

The two TT&Cs – effectively massive antennae – are currently tracking the HellasSat2 satellite launched from Cape Canaveral in May 2003.

Once the new satellite - dubbed HS-3 - hurtles into space it too will be tracked by the two stations in Cyprus and Greece.

beers made by a family-owned micro-brewery based in Paphos launched yesterday at the Kamares festival in Tala.

The family was granted permission to brew by the government only recently having fought red tape and bureaucracy for almost three years.

A selection of beer was ready for tasting at the festival, and for free too.

“Four of our cask condition beers will definitely be ready for people to taste, a fifth is in the tank and it may also be ready by then. We will have more available soon as we have over 10,000 litres of beer in the tanks, in five different styles,” said master brewer Chris Richards.

Aphrodite’s Rock Brewing Company is Cypriot registered and will operate out of a premises in Tsada in Paphos.

Set in an old stone building nestled in the hills, the beers are brewed using state-of-the art brewing technology.

beaches tested in Cyprus for a recent European report have “excellent” water quality, putting the island at the top of the EU for bathing.

Ninety-four per cent of bathing sites in the European Union meet minimum standards for water quality, with Cyprus and Luxembourg having the highest quality of bathing sites in the bloc, according to the European Environment Agency (EEA) annual report on bathing water quality in Europe.

Cyprus, along with Luxembourg, scored full marks in the report, with all 112 coastal bathing sites deemed to have “excellent” water quality.

The EU average stands at 78 per cent.

Eight other countries have excellent quality values above the EU average: Malta, Croatia, Greece, Germany, Portugal, Italy, Finland and Spain.

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May 26, 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

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Fishy goings on

04 PEOPLE

At least that was what her former husband Christopher Hitchens called her. THEO PANAYIDES meets a feisty lawyer with an ambivalent relationship with Cyprus

‘The Cypriot terrorist’

A

s I sit in the waiting area I can hear a lawyer talking on the phone – a middleaged woman, crisp and authoritative.

“You’ll have to close up the building,” she tells her client, “then take legal action against those responsible. Send me the facts of the case, and the video”.

This, I tell myself, must be Eleni Meleagrou – at least till Eleni walks in, slim and rather tousled with her curly blond hair and thin violet top. She wears sandals and a bead necklace. A tattoo of an olive branch (“my favourite tree”) adorns her right forearm.

She gives off a casual, hippyish vibe.

In her small, bare office the laptop is in mid-browse, showing off the glow from the New Yorker website.

She’s been renting this office for the past couple of years, ever since she moved (or semi-moved) to Cyprus from London, where she worked as a solicitor. It’s true she doesn’t look like a human-rights lawyer, then again she only became a lawyer in her late 30s. (She’s now 58.) Before that she raised kids, tried to write books, took part in countless demonstrations, did some “airy-fairy” degrees – a BA in Philosophy at Bedford College in London, then History of Political Thought at the LSE, then most of a PhD on “Partition as a settlement in internal disputes” – and worked, briefly, for the Greek-American lobby in Washington DC. And of course there’s something else – because if you Google ‘Eleni Meleagrou’ (especially if you type her name in English), most of the results you’ll find won’t be about Eleni herself but the man whose life is inextricably linked to her own. Eleni Meleagrou was, from 1981 to 1989, the first wife of Christopher Hitchens, the late writer and essayist who became, in his later years, not just a celebrity but something of a secular saint, debating religion (he was against it) with Tony Blair, speaking out against “Islamofascism” in the wake of 9/11 and selling half a million copies of his atheist polemic God Is Not Great.

“I know!” she smiles, her eyes flashing – they often do, when she’s angry or amused – when I mention the Google thing. She’ll often tell her kids (Alexandros and Sophia, 29 and 23 respectively) to Google her in Greek, she adds wryly, especially if they want to learn more about her recent adventures. It’s worth learning more, because – despite her eventful life, despite her memories of Hitchens, despite her formidable intellect and sparky personality – the most important subject to discuss with Eleni right now is ‘Meleagrou and others vs.

Turkey’, a case decided on April 2 by

That’s an eyebrowraising statement, and some may wonder why they haven’t heard about this case if it’s so important

Casual: lawyer Eleni Meleagrou Photo Christos Theodorides

the European Court of Human Rights which essentially ends the longrunning Cyprus problem, at least in terms of the ‘property issue’ and refugees going back to their homes.

That’s an eyebrow-raising statement, and some may wonder why they haven’t heard about this case if it’s so important. The answer, at least in part, is that no-one wants to talk about it; only now (on the day of our interview, in fact) has Eleni even been invited to the Foreign Ministry for debriefing and discussion. Greek Cypriots are in denial, as they’ve been since

the Loizidou case in 1997 – a landmark case and a major victory, making Turkey responsible for human rights violations in the occupied north. The trouble, according to Eleni, is that things have moved on since Loizidou, especially as regards the Immovable Property Commission (IPC) set up by the Turks to settle with (or buy off) refugees.

The Xenides-Aristes case (2005) rejected the first version of the IPC but gave guidelines, which Turkey duly followed. The writing was on the wall, she sighs, “but we didn’t want to

hear. We were still going on about illegal state, illegal this, illegal that, quotation marks, quotation marks”. Then came the Demopoulos case (2010), a “devastating decision” which not only weakened refugees’ ownership rights but also approved the IPC as a valid “domestic remedy”. The plaintiffs in that case had refused to go before the Property Commission, but by that time 70 Greek Cypriots had already been and got settlements: “So we go to Strasbourg and the Turks had 70 settled cases, no complaints, and we had jack shit. And we’re arguing that

SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

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it’s not effective, it’s illegal – and the Court said ‘But you haven’t tried it’.”

So if not a single Greek Cypriot had gone we might’ve been okay, I point out. “But you can’t prevent people from going to the only remedy,” she counters – especially with the problem mired in stalemate, and especially for areas (like Kyrenia) that are so developed they’re unlikely to be returned in any solution. No, says Eleni, what we should’ve done was grasp the nettle and engage with the IPC: “They should’ve gone and tested it properly, and had arguments about restitution [i.e. the return of land] and the level of compensation. It wasn’t done properly”.

H

ence her own case where she tried to do exactly that, refusing to settle and demanding that the case go to trial – and hence the decision of April 2, hammering the final nail in our coffin. Eleni had refused compensation and demanded the return of her land (her family’s holiday home in Kyrenia), only to be told that she couldn’t pick and choose. All three remedies are valid, ruled the Court (the third remedy is exchange of land); only if you exhaust all three – ie. if you get nothing at all, which is highly unlikely – can you claim to have been wronged. Worst of all, she says, the Court refused to exercise its supervisory role, ie. to review the IPC on its merits: “The message could not have been clearer. What we have now is that the highest European court has thrown us out on the property issue, and left us to the mercy of Turkey. Now, are we going to go and settle [the problem], or are we going to sit there and let Turkey decide?”.

Is she surprised by the lack of reaction to her case? Not really, she shrugs; there’s an attitude of ‘serves her right’ and ‘we told you not to go’ – just like the negative attitude she’s faced all along in pursuing her claim (“Whoever dared say anything was supposedly a ‘traitor’, you know all that”). It’s fair to say that Eleni Meleagrou has a slightly ambivalent relationship with Cyprus – and in fact she always did, even in childhood. “I was brought up in a home that was acutely politically aware, and very progressive,” she explains, where ‘progressive’ equalled Left-wing. Her father was a doctor, her mum was (and is) an intellectual; both were socialists, demonstrating against the Greek junta at a time when many Cypriots were applauding it. Eleni marched as well, then marched against Vietnam when she went to the UK, then marched for Cyprus after the invasion – but has never, until now, actually lived in her native country as an adult.

Does she still feel roots, after 40 years of being away? “Yes I do,” she replies instantly. “I very much feel part of Cyprus, I always have done”.

Her children speak Cypriot, visit every year, and make a point of bringing their partners. She herself is too combustible to be sentimental – she got in a fight the other day with a young man driving his sports car onto the pavement, and whips out a photo she took on her mobile to show to the cops – but she is, I suspect, intensely loyal as a person, and attachments die hard.

After all, she muses, “I married a guy who I met here in Cyprus – and, in a way, that was what we had. Otherwise

May 26, 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

people

A family pic from before 1974 and (far right) Meleagrou’s ex husband Christopher Hitchens

I would never have met him. And he spent a lot of time talking and writing about Cyprus in the first years, it was part of my relationship with him. He loved Cyprus as well, in his way – and he loved the idea of having a Cypriot family, which was a very un-English experience for him”.

‘He’, of course, was Hitchens, who wrote a book on Cyprus (Hostage to History) in 1984 – seven years after he and Eleni met on her uncle’s verandah, her uncle being former EDEK MP Takis Hadjidemetriou. Hitchens was here for a conference; “I’d heard about him, and I was interested”. He was just a hack in those days, “but Christopher had it in him, none of [what came later] is a surprise. He was very ambitious, very intelligent, very hard-working and very knowledgeable. An exceptional guy. That’s why I fell in love with him, and had to be with him”. And what did he see in her? Well, she shrugs, being a foreigner was undoubtedly exotic: “He wasn’t someone to settle with some English…” – long pause – “girl, you know? And he liked my argumentativeness, he used to refer to me as ‘the Cypriot terrorist’ in those days. And we understood each other… We had a very good marriage. This is what I keep telling everyone, we had a very good marriage of eight years or so – which unravelled in the last year for all sorts of reasons, but it wasn’t a marriage throughout which we were quarrelling. We had a good marriage, and that is why we had a good divorce”.

‘All sorts of reasons’ is a bit diplomatic; in fact the marriage ended because Hitchens fell in love with another woman, even as his wife was pregnant with Sophia (leading to a fraught relationship with his daughter in later years). Hitchens-haters invariably use this betrayal and desertion against him – “but you know what?” says Eleni, “I don’t think they know what they’re talking about, basically. I mean yes, I was pregnant. [But] I could’ve held him back.

I threw him out when he told me he was in love with someone else, I literally threw him out. I could’ve carried on and cried and so on, but I had too much pride”. Easy for outsiders to pass judgment, she adds, but “it takes two to get to that point”.

Some would say that’s a bit too generous – then again, I can think of reasons why Eleni might want to be magnanimous. Firstly, of course, Hitchens is no longer with us (he died of cancer in 2011). Secondly, those years with him – her late 20s and early 30s, first in London then Washington – must’ve been exciting, a whirl of glitzy shindigs and famous faces. Martin Amis (Hitchens’ closest friend) was their best man; “Oh, Martin can be hilarious,” she replies when I ask what he’s like, which admittedly isn’t quite the same as ‘friendly’ or ‘empathetic’ (I note her throwaway

comment on Ian McEwan, another famous writer who was part of the gang: “He’s a lovely guy, and you can’t say that about any of the others!”) – but it’s still a golden memory to cling to as she sits in Nicosia, perusing the New Yorker and mulling over the disappointment of ‘Meleagrou vs. Turkey’.

Yet she doesn’t seem disappointed; not at all, in fact. I could listen to the tape of our interview, but it can’t evoke the actual experience of talking to Eleni – the way she sits on a swivel chair and happily wheels herself around the room as she talks, her joie de vivre and flashes of temper as she lists all the “irritating or childish or hopeless” things about Cyprus. And besides, there’s a third reason why she’d want to be magnanimous about Christopher Hitchens: she loved the man. “One could never – or at least I could never stay angry with Christopher for very long,” she muses fondly.

Even when he wrote his autobiography (Hitch-22) and devoted a grand total of eight words to her – and even those in parentheses – she eventually forgave him. “He had such charm,” she smiles. “And he had a desire to please, which was almost as huge as his desire to argue”.

They argued a lot; that was part of the mutual attraction (“He’d never admit defeat. But he was also prepared to sit up all night, if need be, to do it”). Eleni Meleagrou still argues now, whether with drivers who park on the pavement or oblivious Greek Cypriots who’ve sunk into inertia and complacency – “You can’t remain stuck in the same old slogans. You can’t. You lose if you do” – just like she once argued for Marxism-Leninism with a touch of Maoism, back in her fiery youth.

Yet the final impression I get isn’t of an angry or embittered person but a clannish, emotional person, one who values friends and the deep, serene bonds of home and family.

Let’s go back to her darkest time: Washington DC in the early 90s, newly divorced, small kids, no real job (this was when she decided to go to law school). Things were tough – yet they also inspired her. “The kids and I became a family,” she recalls with a kind of tender pride. “And we were a happy family. It worked. I was happy with my kids, I really was.

“I remember one day – because yeah, I’m a highly-strung, quite neurotic person, and I have all kinds of worries and anxieties, but I remember one day I was walking on the Mall in Washington – a wonderful open space, with monuments – and pushing a stroller with Sophia in it, and Alexandros next to it. And the weather was brilliant – and I was young! And right then I thought: ‘I am truly happy. This is a real moment of happiness. And I’ll hang on to this and I’ll remember it, because this makes me happy’.” No wonder she looks so unlawyerly.

Satellite scientists At a complex in Kofinou a group of around 10 Cypriot scientists have begun work on the design of the new HellasSat3 satellite to be launched into orbit in 2016.

New parole board

The members of a new parole board were sworn in on Monday, 11 months after the previous board’s tenure expired, leaving dozens of convicts hanging because there was nobody to examine their applications.

‘Spirit of solidarity’ President Nicos Anastasiades has asked the European Union to provide additional funding to help Cyprus get out of the mess it’s in. Speaking from Brussels, Anastasiades said he asked the EU to increase economic aid earmarked for Cyprus within the multiannual financial framework and to take a greater role in the co-financing of Cyprus-based projects.

Cyprus talent Standing in front of an audience and a panel of judges for UK show Britain’s Got Talent, Aliki Chrysochou (below) said that there was a time her mum needed to do everything for her because she could not speak, read, write or walk. The Limassol-born Cypriot diagnosed with encephalitis ten years ago impressed with her performance and was passed for the next round.

‘Christofias to blame’ The head of parliament’s finance committee Nicolas Papadopoulos told an ongoing inquiry into the country’s near-financial collapse this week that former President Demetris Christofias was primarily to blame for the country’s botched bailout. He only said what most of us have been thinking.

Sex museum close Ayia Napa mayor Yiannis Karousos has ordered the closure of a sex museum before it even opened its doors on the grounds it is not suitable and the owners never applied for permission to operate.

Court disruption Emotions were running high as a murder suspect had to be escorted from a courtroom through the judges’ chambers on Tuesday to avoid an attack from relatives of the man he shot dead in the village of Kofinou in March over a property dispute.

DIKO infighting nfighting With elections forr the DIKO party arked for this leadership earmarked wo main November, the two contenders have locked horns over the questionn ns. of party expulsions. ios GaParty leader Marios royian questionedd the point of defining people rs if as party members they act either in an official capacity or unoferests of ficially in the interests others while MP Nicolas gued Papadopoulos argued now was not the time to ay from chase people away ty but to the troubled party ity. work towards unity.

06 FEATURE Bright future: model Olympia Campbell in Issa London for The Outnet

Model families Cara Delevingne may be queen of the catwalk but there’s a new star in the fashion firmament - Edie Campbell’s sister Olympia. Let the battle of the style siblings begin, says MAXINE FRITH

M

ove over Cara and Poppy D, there’s a new model sisterhood in town. Meet Edie and new star Olympia, the edgy Campbell siblings taking London by storm.

Cara and Poppy

FAMILY THE CAMPBELLS are third generation fashion aristocracy – their grandmother Joan Hicks became a model when she was 18 and was one of the faces of the Fifties, working with legendary photographers such as Norman Parkinson and David Bailey. Edie and Olympia’s mother Sophie started her career at 17 in the fashion department of Harpers & Queen magazine before going on to become fashion editor at Tatler and Vogue, as well as working as a stylist for designer Azzedine Alaia.

Sophie is now a highly respected architect to the fashion industry and has designed stores for Chloe, Yohji Yamamoto and Paul Smith.

Edie, 22, has been a modelling star for a while but now she’s being joined by younger sister Olympia, 17, who was named one of Vogue’s top 20 rising stars for this year.

Vogue photographer Tim Walker cast Olympia as the lead in his acclaimed short fi lm, The Lost Explorer. “They’re three generations of women who have affected fashion in a memorable way, all really women of their time,” he says.

THE DELEVINGNES are aristocracy, full-stop. Cara and Poppy’s grandfather is Sir Jocelyn Stevens, the former chairman of English Heritage who was a key player in Princess Margaret’s Mustique set and considered one of the most charming men of his generation.

His daughter Pandora (the sisters’ mother) was the It girl of the Eighties before marrying fi nancier Charles Delevingne, whose own grandfather was a viscount. Pandora, who is head of personal shopping at Selfridges, has an address book that reads like a Who’s Who of London society and counts the Duchess of York among her closest friends, while actress Joan Collins is Cara’s godmother. Cara, 20, and Poppy, 26, are now the most soughtafter guests on the party circuit and are close friends with Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice. If Edie and Olympia are fashion royalty, Cara and Poppy are as close to royalty as you can get without HRH before your name.

WORK CAMPBELLS: Edie has graced the cover of Vogue this year while Olympia is the new face of a collaboration between Issa London and The

nique, said: “She has this unique, h is striking look, which tte almost part Brigitte d Bardot, but mixed with an elfi n quirki-d ness.”

LA-based o Poppy continues to tforge a career in acting and modelling, as se to well as being a muse designer Matthew Williamson, dor and a a Chanel ambassador young ambassadorr for the uncil.

British Fashion Council.

STYLE

Outnet fashion website and ast a camcan already boast c by Marc paign for Marc ashion CV. Jacobs on her fashion overed by Edie was discovered photographer Mario Testino at the age of 15 and gue aged appeared in Vogue ature just five in a feature her’s about her mother’s racarchitectural pracnce tice. She’s since nel, walked for Chanel, lla modelled for Stella McCartney and is th a favourite with Burberry.

O l y mp i a , ks meanwhile, looks re set to sign more n big campaign ll contracts - as well er as pursuing her s. acting ambitions.

D E L E V INGNES: Cara is the model of the ce of moment. The face hanel Burberry and Chanel alked resort, she’s walked for everyone from H&M to Oscar de la Renta, and was Vogue’s onth before cover girl the month iscovered by Edie. She was discovered ency’s Sarah the Storm agency’s potted Kate Doukas, who spotted Moss. Carmen Borgonovo, fashion directorr at online rdrobe.com, boutique my-wardrobe.com,

CAMPBELLS: Edie is ’s model; the thinking man’s ul’s Girls’ an alumni of St Paul’s School, this year she’s due to finish her three-yearr history-of-art gious Courtauld degree at the prestigious Institute. She cites John Steinbeck and Kurt Vonnegutt among her faer favourite devourite authors. Her ry’s Christopher signers are Burberry’s limane, creative Bailey and Hedi Slimane, L t whose h director of Saint Laurent, recent collection epitomised Edie’s mannish, boyfriend-chic style, but admits she prefers to spend money on her horses over the latest couture. self-confess A self-confessed wild child as a teenager growing up in London, she s says she’s now happi happiest with boyfriend Otis O Ferry Olympia and Edie in his two-be two-bedroomed cottage in S Shropshire or at the famil family home in Warwickshire but still enjoys a night on the tow town.

Olympia, who went to City o of London Girls School, has followed her o older sister’s e edgy style and iis making a nam name for herself as an It girl - her 1 16th birthday llast year was th the soughtafter invite on the teen te party scene.

D E L E V INGNE INGNES: Cara is London London’s favourite pa party girl.

She combined a pack packed working schedule at the rrecent internation ternational fashion show shows with a nightlife to rival that of K Kate Moss.

With BFF Rita Ora

- who she calls “wifey” - in tow, she’s a regular at The Groucho and is about to move into a north London flat with model Georgia May Jagger. Educated at Bedales, her friends include Rihanna and Prince Harry. Her favourite outfit, she says, is a pair of skinny jeans, white T-shirt, her Burberry leather jacket and t i trainers.

Poppy is also a boho fan - she counts Sienna Miller among her inner circle and was named as being in the running to play the female lead in the fi lm of 50 Shades of Grey.

LOVE LIFE CAMPBELLS: Edie has been dating Otis, son of Bryan Ferry and joint master of the South Shropshire Hunt, for more than a year after meeting, in a fittingly fashion kind of way, while shooting a Burberry campaign five years ago.

From 2009 to 2011 she dated Razorlight frontman Johnny Borrell, who counts actress Kirsten Dunst among his exes. Edie reportedly left Borrell heartbroken after she left him for TV presenter George Lamb.

She has said of herself, “I’m not very needy” but friends say she believes Ferry may be The One. Olympia is single but apparently has hordes of floppy-haired admirers.

DELEVINGNES: Cara was seeing singer-songwriter Jake Bugg, 18, after being introduced to him at a party by her best friend, singer Rita Ora. Before that she was rumoured to have been dating Harry Styles after he split from Taylor Swift and was said to have turned down Leonardo di Caprio during Cannes. Never one to shy away from a fight, Cara called the particularly-virulent One Directioners “f***ed up”.

Poppy has already found her future husband - she’s been engaged to James Cook, who works for his family’s aero-engineering business, since late last year. No word on a wedding date yet but Cara may just eclipse Pippa Middleton in the chief bridesmaid stakes.

SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

The Ariston Vocational Counselling Test is operated by the University of Nicosia. The test, counselling session and personal results booklet cost €200. High school students are offered the reduced price of €65. yaneva.g@ unic.ac.cy, 22 841673, www.unic.ac.cy/studywith-us/ariston-careers-test

How well suited are you to your job?

ALIX NORMAN puts herself through 400 questions analysed by various algorithms and maths concepts to find out what she should be doing

W

hat if I should have been a lion tamer?

Having taught Key Stage 3 for years, I’m pretty sure my job skills will translate nicely to the three ring circus. Or is it possible – despite detesting quadratic equations – that I have an undiscovered aptitude for nuclear physics? In terms of career, I could be the next great mixologist, rhythmic gymnast or nun... and on those endless Monday mornings answering mindless emails, haven’t you too wondered the same thing? In these uncertain times, with so many people choosing – or forced – to ring the career changes, it’s defi nitely worth fi nding out what you really should be doing with your working life. So, in the interests of discovering my true calling, I’ve come to the University of Nicosia on a hot, blustery Friday afternoon to take the ARISTON Careers Test.

Developed as the defi nitive guide to fi nding your vocation, the ARISTON test is the longest running, fully-automated psychometric test in the world. Based on research work carried out by Professor Yannakoudakis, it embodies human knowledge regarding personality types, special aptitudes and abilities, and corresponding working environments, and utilises all sorts of algorithms and mathematical concepts, like uncertainty models, clustering models and fuzzy sets. In other words, the test can predict the professions in which an individual would be most successful and – this is key! – most fulfi lled.

Among today’s vocational truthseekers, I am not the oldest – phew!

But I’m not the youngest by a long way – that honour falls to Radoslava, a high school student with whom I fall into conversation. Although very modest, I quickly surmise she’s taking the test because she excels in every area of academia and can’t decide which A levels to choose. “I expect the test will give me direction,” she says. “A friend of mine took it and said it was really useful; it confi rmed her ideas about future careers.”

Georgia is slightly older: in her twenties, she’s already completed her Bachelors in Quantity Surveying.

“I followed in my father’s footsteps,” she explains. “But I realised half way

May 26, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

through the degree that I’d actually prefer a completely different career, something relating to fashion design.” Judging by her flair for assembling an outfit, I’d say her suspicions are well-founded; she, like many of today’s candidates, is here to ensure she’s on the right occupational path the second time round.

As we all sit down at our computers, the tense atmosphere takes me back twenty odd years. Admittedly the administrator is perfectly sweet, ensuring we’re all on the right site and logged in correctly, but there’s something about ten sweaty bodies all tense with anticipation for their futures that makes me feel 15 again.

Yes, we’ve all chosen to be here, but it’s still a test! The questions, however, are actually easy to answer, though some make me giggle (‘Would you like to draw the track of a spaceship?’ Why certainly, let me just clear my schedule) and others appear totally off the wall (‘Would you like someone to wash your clothes regularly free of charge?’ All my laundry free gratis? Don’t mind if I do). How on earth this is going to predict my perfect vocation, I’ve no idea – but I put my faith in the system and hope for the best.

After several hundred personal questions, there’s a change, with a string which focuses on general intelligence: a couple on vocabulary (hooray!), a few maths sequences (eek) and some standard spatial awareness and pattern recognition problems (fun, but time consuming). You can tell when everyone has reached ‘if gear A turns clockwise, which way does gear D turn?’ by the hand motions we all employ in our efforts to find the solution. The first to leave is a baseball-capped teenager who clicks off with a flourish and saunters nonchalantly from the room while the rest of us struggle with whether we could accept public ridicule for payment (absolutely not! Hang on, how much are you offering?). It takes me just over an hour to complete the 400 odd questions, and that leaves an entire weekend to worry about my answers...

Bright and early on Monday morning, I meet with Galina Constantinides, Senior Admissions Counsellor and expert Vocational Counsellor.

We spend over two fascinating hours discussing the results, which are presented in the form of a comprehensive breakdown of hemispheres, motivation, personality, abilities, interests and – finally - job recommendations.

As I peruse my booklet, Galina describes the necessity of having ‘human input’ to complement the statistical findings: “a counsellor is able to interpret and explain the material; to understand the essence of personality and interact with the test-taker to clarify the bare text generated by the computer. Last year we tested over 2,000 people; every person possesses extraordinary potential, and it’s fas-

It transpires I’m totally motivated in professions that garner me recognition and influence, but remain unmoved by salary or job security

cinating to set each one of them on a fulfilling vocational path.”

Good stuff all round, now, what about me? Should I immediately chuck in the writing and sign up for Accountancy 101? Apparently not: it transpires I’m totally motivated in professions that garner me recognition and influence, but remain unmoved by salary or job security (journalism, now there’s a thought!).

I have an artistic, social and investigative personality, excellent linguistic, logical and reasoning abilities, and a fascination for personal development, the arts and education. Oh, and no interest in economics. True.

With Galina’s invaluable interpretation of the data to guide me, I’ve uncovered endless facts about the way I work at work, and now it’s the moment of truth: the system has predicted a staggering 36 professions which it claims would suit me down to the ground... Top of the list: Author. Next: Language teacher.

There’s a slew of literature, language and educational suggestions, with

Eyes down: taking the Ariston test

07

Nursery teacher? Perhaps not

a few design-based options (Stage Design – I used to do that! Fashion Design – I do love my clothes) and cerebral selections (Philosopher, Theologian) thrown into the mix. In fact, I could see myself happily pursuing any one of the proposed careers, except, perhaps, Kindergarten Teacher (too squeamish).

The entire process has not only confirmed my career choice, but has added a host of future possibilities.

How on earth a simple system based on ones and zeros has predicted such accurate vocations is beyond me. If you’ve ever wondered if you’re in the right job, or have found yourself unemployed and with no idea what to do next, or even looked around your dismal office and imagined yourself operating a bar on the beach of Bali, maybe it’s time to put your dreams to the test. 100,000 hours is the amount we work in a lifetime. That’s too long to waste in a profession you hate.

Chuck that calculator at your boss and sign up for the ARISTON test.

Your future awaits...

08 TRAVEL

MIDNIGHT TEE TIME “G Summer is the time to head to Finland and Estonia, to play golf late at night and on uncrowded yet challenging courses, says CHRIS FOLLEY

Tallinn old town

reat shot… well, I think it was. I didn’t really see it,” declared my bemused golfi ng partner, peering into the twilight. No surprise, it was past 11pm. It was the cue to get out the red tracer balls - which fl ash when you hit them and when they bounce on the green - thus allowing us to still chip and putt away as the clock ticked past midnight.

A cosmic experience? Well, I guess we weren’t a million miles from where you’d see the Northern Lights. This was midnight golf, as played in high summer at the Estonian Golf and Country Club, half an hour outside Tallinn. Estonia is not the most obvious golfi ng destination but this quirky attraction rather fitted in with the former Soviet bloc state’s geeky reputation: Skype was invented in Estonia, where technol-

Baltic break: teeing off in the midnight sun ogy has been embraced with keen interest.

This golfi ng adventure started with a fl ight to Helsinki, then a 20-minute hop across the Baltic to Tallinn. For the late-night caper, it was on to EGCC’s nine-hole Stone Course, so called because it is dotted with boulders dating back to the Stone Age. There is also the 18-hole Sea Course, which now hosts European Tour events, snaking through virgin pine forests and out towards the Jagala River and the Gulf of Finland. I could imagine the wind and

cold creating an apocalyptic scene here in winter.

With golf keeping us out of Tallinn’s louder establishments come the midnight hour - it still has a reputation for being stag-party central - the city’s fi ner points needed to be sampled beforehand. A stroll from our base was Restoran O, which offered surprisingly rich but delicious “modern Estonian” dishes (with a Mediterranean twist) such as white asparagus, pan-fried duck’s liver and potato purée. A shot of metspihlakanaps (wild dogberry

Green dream: the 15th hole at Linna in Finland

SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

09

schnapps) added a welcome Baltic touch.

Across the road from O are the ivy clad towers of Viru Gate, gateway to the Old Town and a different world from the city’s drab yet fast modernising commercial hub. The Old Town - awarded World Heritage Site status in 1997 - is where the tourist dollar is really being earned: you have a chocolate box-like cen-

Air France and Cyprus Airways enhance co-operation

the other way - vodka, beer and spirits are half-price in Estonia. Now we understood why the Finnish Hells Angels had been in town (and staying in our hotel, though thankfully on model behaviour).

We spent little time in Helsinki – a shame, because on my only previous visit, I remembered it to be full of charm and green spaces - instead driving an hour north to Linna Golf

In the Hamptons, catering to the rich (and their dogs) is good business

By Beth Pinsker The luxurious spa at the Hotel Telegraaf

The medieval theme is never far away - Olde Hansa, for example, is a restored old merchant’s house turned into a themed restaurant serving Saxon feasts, allegedly using 15th century recipes tre dating back to the 13th century, dominated by the 125-metre high St Olav’s Church, as well as plenty of cafés, restaurants and jazz bars.

The medieval theme is never far away - Olde Hansa, for example, is a restored old merchant’s house turned into a themed restaurant serving Saxon feasts, allegedly using 15th century recipes - sausages made from elk and bear, that kind of thing – against a backdrop of chamber music from Hanseatic times.

Waitresses are of course dressed in ancient garb, and a lucky member of your party will be invited to be “king of the table”.

Somewhat classier is the Hotel Telegraaf around the corner, built as an exchange station for the Estonian Telegraph company in 1878 and located next to the hidden courtyards of the Old Town. I didn’t imagine many celebrities would have flocked to Tallinn but we were told that Bob Dylan, Lenny Kravitz and Enrique Iglesias had all stayed at the Telegraaf the past few years.

Now part of the Small Luxury Hotels of the World chain, it has 86 rooms, all designed in modern art and art deco style, as well as the impressive Restaurant Tchaikovsky.

For those in need of pampering, the Elemis Spa offers an indoor pool, full-size Jacuzzi, sauna and steam bath.

It would have been easy to indulge in Tallinn for longer but we were heading back to Finland, this time by sea. Think of the old crossChannel booze runs and you have some idea of what the two-hour Tallinn to Helsinki ferry is like. As we boarded, hordes of Finns piled over

May 26, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

Club. The landscape rarely changed from miles of farmland and pine forests dotted by elegant-looking country retreats, but it’s the lakes that defi ne Finland the further north you go. More areas are covered by water than land.

We arrived at the impressive Vanajanlinna estate, dating back to 1918. It had a curious history fi rst it was a hunting lodge for the aristocracy, then for years was the Finnish Communist Party headquarters. Then, in 1997, it became the only castle hotel in Finland.

With superb views of perfectly still Lake Katuma, the hotel now has 30 rooms and four suites, while over at the Linna clubhouse are two-floor, two-bedroom suites.

As we ate in the hotel’s hunting lodge-style dining room, our host, the cheroot-loving Petri Keskitalo, held court over reindeer steaks and red wine about his days as an Olympic decathlete and adversary of Daley Thompson in the Eighties. As you might expect of someone with athletic excellence in the blood, Petri, now director of golf at Linna, can hit a mean golf ball. And the course? Very impressive. And this being squeaky clean Scandinavia, everything is perfectly manicured.

There was little time to explore the area but we weren’t missing any nightlife. Saunas, canoeing and swimming are what stir the blood here. At least café-fi lled Hämeenlinna - it’s the birthplace of composer Jean Sibelius - has a gorgeous medieval red-brick castle. For all this clean outdoor living, sometimes you need a bit of city life to keep you going.

Judging by early demand for everything from doggie daycare to Ferrari rentals and fi ne art, rich Americans are going to make this a strong summer in one of their favourite playgrounds the beach towns on the eastern end of Long Island collectively known as the Hamptons.

It is "new" money coming in that is making the difference, since the "old" money in the Hamptons never really stopped flowing, at least in terms of the ultra-wealthy spending on things like food, wine and household staff.

But discretionary spending did slow down over the past few years, so it's making a noticeable comeback now for vendors like Mark Humphrey, who has owned a gallery on Main Street in Southampton for more than 30 years.

"We had a good winter, and that just never happens. We are usually barely open," he says.

Last summer, he had a lot of browsers, but they rarely opened up their wallets. Suddenly over the past few months, he has been contacted by some of those window shoppers who were finally ready to buy, and he has sold 10 paintings at $5,000 to $10,000 since December.

So far in 2013, luxury spending is correlating highly to the stock market. Both the latest study from the American Affluence Research Centre and American Express' Survey of Affluence and Wealth in America, found that spending on second homes, vacation travel, dining in restaurants and new luxury cars is increasing.

Friedman says his busy season started early this year - he usually doesn't get calls about summer rentals until mid-January, but this year they started in November, right after Hurricane Sandy, which largely spared Hamptons beaches.

It didn't trickle off until midApril, and now he's getting lastminute callers. They don't mess around with seeing dozens of places and looking for bargains, but instead jump on whatever is available - whether it is $20,000 per month for a small cottage or $550,000 for a beach-front estate.

That price probably includes a driveway, but in the Hamptons, there is daycare for your Bentley instead so it doesn't get damaged by the salt air. Good luck finding a space, though. The Bridgehampton Motoring Club, which has slots for 45 vehicles at two locations, is at capacity for now, says coowner Adam Bellin, The same goes for renting a Ferrari 458 Italia over the coming Memorial Day weekend for around $2,500 a day from Imagine Lifestyles Luxury Rentals, which services the northeast.

The company is sold out of their entire fleet of Ferraris, Bentleys, Porsches and BMWs for the weekend. "We're definitely up this year. People are spending money, and demand is outweighing supply," says co-CEO Ryan Safady, who is based in Pennsauken, New Jersey Also at capacity: doggie daycares and domestic services.

"Memorial Day is busier than usual for us," says April Cullum, manager of the Hampton Pet Club, which has daytime care and overnight "hotel-like" accommodations for up to 35 dogs. She has her usual standing reservations that she's had for the past few years - dog owners who have an annual party and send the dogs out for the night, weekend Hamptonites who board their pets during the week - but also a whole influx of new dogs.

Hampton Domestics owner Vincent Minuto is turning away callers. New summer folk, he says, should bring their own help with them.

Air France and Cyprus Airways are enhancing their co-operation to offer a total of 20 daily codeshare fl ights on departures from Paris-Charles de Gaulle, Cyprus and Greece. This new agreement offers customers a wider choice of seamless travel solutions.

Thanks to this new code-share agreement, Air France will now offer fl ights operated by Cyprus Airways: LarnacaParis, Larnaca-Athens, Athens-Heraklion and Athens-Rhodes. Every day, passengers on fl ights between Paris and Larnaca will benefit from multiple connecting opportunities via Athens on domestic fl ights within Greece operated

by Cyprus Airways. Air France passengers will also benefit from connections at Paris-Charles de Gaulle, to and from Cyprus.

Cyprus Airways will offer customers fl ights operated by Air France between Athens and Paris.

Let's Go Tours by Amathus launches summer brochure Let's Go Tours by Amathus invites holidaymakers to travel to the edge of the earth with its Summer 2013 brochure.

Select your holiday trip in one of the popular Greek islands, or one of the organised tours to Europe, America, Africa or Asia. For honeymooners and the more selective there are special packages to exotic destinations.

And new this year are luxury cruises with boarding from Limassol.

For more information ask for a brochure at the offices of Amathus in all cities or your travel agent, or contact 77-77-82-77 or visit www.amathusetravel.com

10 FOOD & DRINK Winesoftheweek

WINES with George Kassianos

Classic cheese tastings It’s not just red wines that are perfect partners

C

heese and wine go well together. They make a good pairing. More often than not though, it takes a little consideration to ensure a delicious marriage. This is because cheese is salty and often dehydrates the palate, making it difficult to detect the characteristics of the wine. This marriage is perfect summer fare, easy and simple to serve, qualities that we all seek during the summer months.

Many believe red wine is best for pairing with cheese, it’s more often though a crisp, refreshing white wine than a bold red that will best complement.

Sauvignon Blanc or Xinisteri with goat cheese A killer pairing is the combination of goat cheese with Sauvignon Blanc wines. Both are light in body with high acidity. Herbaceous Sauvignon Blanc, smelling of fresh cut grass, is an excellent match to famous Chèvre – a modern soft cheese made from goat milk in the Loire region of France.

What makes the pairing so great isn’t the matching of flavours but mirroring the acidity. Chèvre can almost be described as tangy. The wine’s racy acidity will complement and enhance this feature, while cleansing the mouth after each sip, readying the palate for the next bite. On similar grounds, halloumi works well with fresh Xinisteri where the acidity levels are high and able to calm down the saltiness of the halloumi.

Sauternes with Roquefort A sweet and savoury pairing, the wines from Semillon and Sauvignon Blanc are vibrant with flavours and aromas of honey and lush stone fruits, like apricots and peaches. These wines have a high sugar content and acidity in their youth, but over time mellow to become intense, powerful and complex.

Roquefort has a distinct aroma of blue mould, burnt caramel and a fla-

vour that comes across as creamy yet sweet. The rich, powerful whites of Sauternes cut through the stinky blue mould and firm texture of the cheese.

The sugar in the wine enhances the sweetness in the cheese and the powerful acidity cleanses the palate after each sip.

Port/Commandaria with Stilton Fortified wines from Portugal and Cyprus respectively, these names carry with them special regulations and geographic requirements. In the production of Port and Commandaria, unlike sherry, the spirit is added in the middle of the fermentation process to kill the yeast, leaving sugar behind in the juice. The wine produced from this process is high in alcohol and sweet.

Stilton is a traditional English, unpasteurised, vegetarian blue cheese made from cow’s milk. It’s made in the same process as Roquefort, with the cheese maker piercing the wheel to promote mould growth.

Good Stilton displays flavours and aromas of old leather, dark chocolate and a distinct blue mould. The rich, powerful Ports of Portugal and Commandaria have the body to stand up to this hard cheese, the flavours to complement the dark chocolate and old leather, and the sugar to contrast the stinky blue mould. This is another example of a classic food and wine pairing. I like to say sweet and stinky rather than sweet and savoury when it comes to pairings like this.

Amarone and Parmigiano-Reggiano Veneto and Amarone, a region that produces rich, almost sweet-like full-

bodied reds from grapes like Corvina, uce Rondinella, and Molinara. To produce nd Amarone, grapes are harvested and inthen set out to dry to an almost raisints. like state, traditionally on straw mats. he The grapes are then pressed and the nd juice that runs out is concentrated and onhigh in sugar. That sugar is then conenverted into alcohol through fermenne tation, resulting in a full-bodied wine ack with rich flavours and aromas of black uit currant, blackberries, more black fruit flavours, black licorice and spice. iParmigiano-Reggiano is a tradie tional, unpasteurised hard cheese made from cow’s milk. It gets its name from the Parma and Reggio sub-regions of the EmiliaRomagna region. ParmigianoReggiano is a granulated cheese with sweet and fruity aromas. The flavour is strong and rich, but not overpowering. Hard cheeses like Parmigiano-Reggiano are able to support a wider range of wines, including big reds. This wine’s rich, dark fruit and almost sweet flavour perfectly complement those of the cheese. Aged cheeses tend to be more flavourful, so a flavourful wine is important to enhance the pairing.

This wine does that beautifully.

Muenster and Alsace Gewürztraminer The whites produced in Alsace have a unique texture and low sugar content, making them great partners for lots of different foods. Gewurztraminer’s calling card characteristic is its spicy flavours and aromas. It’s often described as resembling the spice of the lychee nut.

2011 Vineyards Argyrides Chardonnay, Limassol Region Abv 12.5% If you like Chardonnay with true expression of fruit then this is the one to love. Clear and bright, this Chardonnay is medium to pale yellow, almost verging on straw in its colour.

There’s a nice sparkle deep in the centre of the wine, promising pro a refreshing drink. The aroma is clean an and slightly fruity, reminiscent of apples and perhaps perha peaches. Dry with marked acidity, this Chard Chardonnay is characterised by sharp fruit flavours including in citrus, tropical fruit, and even pear. All oof the fruit flavour is up front though and it end ends on a more buttery note.

Argyrides Chardonnay is only fair when combined with w sharp cheddar, but like many Char Chardonnays it shines when paired with aged Gouda too. Mediterranean roast chic chicken recipes too as well as baked fish and seafood. €10.17 200 Vineyards Argyrides Saint 2009 Timon, Limassol Region, Abv 14% Tim Ab blend of Shiraz and Mataro purple red with ruby hue, an honest nose of stewed plums and lifted vanillin, a soft stew full palate laden with juicy upfront fruit of ripe plum, blackberry and frui cherry and a liberal splash of sweet che oak. These fleshy primary characters oak ext extend suggestively through the rou round, smooth palate, revealing am ample layers of subtle spicy cinnamo mon, chocolate, vanilla and savoury, mea meaty complexity. The finish is silky smooth endowed with integrated velvety, chalky ta tannins and nifty trace of black pepper. Absolutely perfect with roasted veal, Lamb Kleftiko or dimple rare grilled rump steak. As for cheese, Gruyere, sharp Edam and Gouda as well as our Kefalotyri. €8.65 Muenster is a traditional, unpasteurised, washed-rind cheese made from cow’s milk. The cheese is native to the Alsace in France so here again we have what I call “grows together, goes together” pairing.

The rind’s rich colour and aroma is a product of the outside of the cheese being constantly rubbed with brine for two to three months. It is intense, with flavours that are both sweet and savoury, ending with a spicy finish. What makes this pairing so incredible is the spicy characteristic of both the cheese and the wine. Alsatian Gewürztraminer will draw out the spice, complementing the flavours of the cheese.

The wine’s refreshing acidity will also cleanse and hydrate the palate after each bite of this delicious, stinky, salty cheese.

Forget the prosecco recession, here comes the cava recovery

By Andrew Neather In the heart of Barcelona’s hip Born neighbourhood, El Xampanyet is heaving. The bar is a happy mix of locals and tourists of all ages, jabbering, hoovering up tapas - and swigging lashings of cava from old-fashioned coupes. Could cava ever become this cool in Britain?

Richard Begg certainly hopes so. The co-owner of the Camino chain opens a new branch in the City with the capital’s most ambitious cava bar, Copa de Cava, in the basement. The atmospheric brick vaulted space, with hundreds of bottles visible through a glass floor, is not yet as frenetic

as El Xampanyet. But its cava list is more serious than many in Barcelona - and easily London’s best.

“Up until now it’s been hard getting people interested in cava because of what’s available here,” says Begg. “It’s like trying to convert people to beer if the only one they can get is Carling.” He aims to remedy that with a range of 29 cavas.

It’s a bold move: cava has become a victim of its own success in the UK. Last year it imported almost 36 million bottles. But deep discounting has left these Spanish bubbles with an image problem: cava is seen as cheap and cheerful, and people rarely pay more

than £10 for a bottle.

There is certainly a lot of it - almost a quarter of a billion bottles a year, 95 per cent of it produced in Catalunya in an area just west of Barcelona, centred on the little town of Sant Sadurní d’Anoia. Production is dominated by Freixenet, which makes more than half of the total. Codorníu accounts for another 60 million bottles a year, matured in 30km of cellars. In fact, Codorníu’s wines aren’t at all bad - notably its supremely elegant Jaume Codorníu Gran Reserva – though both big fi rms are referred to collectively by small producers as “los monstruos”.

Out of frustration with

cava’s image, leading producer Raventós i Blanc announced last November that it was leaving the cava appellation to create a new one, Conca del Riu Anoia. Others have followed, while Colet Vins already labels its cavas as DO Penedès.

Which is a shame, because as the wine list at Copa de Cava shows, there is real quality there. At Gramona’s cellars in Sant Sadurní, Xavier Gramona talks about his organic vineyards’ terroir as passionately as any quality champagne producer. He emphasises the importance of the xarel-lo grape to give his wines longevity; the other main local varietals, parellada and macabeo, are

used in some Gramona wines, as are more recent arrivals chardonnay and pinot noir.

Gramona’s top cuvées are as serious as any sparkling wines in the world.

Down the road at Vilarnau’s sleek winery, Damià Deàs similarly emphasises terroir, though he places more importance on parellada for its natural acidity, helping give his wine “elegance and very good balance between ripeness and freshness”.

Will such wines convince British drinkers of cava’s potential? I hope so. We’ve already had the “prosecco recession”: let’s hope we can look forward to the cava recovery.

SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

11 RECIPES

with Maria Socratous

Make your own treats Homemade items can bring joy to any table – try these Blueberry and Lemon Squares Makes 24 250g self-raising flour 1tsp baking powder 225g golden caster sugar 4 large eggs 225g butter, softened 3tbsp milk Grated zest of 3 lemons, plus extra 250g blueberries or any other berries For the icing 6-8tbsp lemon juice 200g icing sugar

Strawberry Jam Makes about 3kg

Preheat the oven to 170C/gas 3½.

Line a straight-sided 30cm x 25cm traybake tin with baking paper.

Put the dry ingredients in a large bowl and make a well in the middle, add the eggs, butter, milk and lemon zest. Beat with an electric hand mixer until smooth and stir in the berries.

Pour the batter into the prepared tin and bake for 35 minutes or until risen and cooked through. Turn out

onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Mix the lemon juice into the icing sugar, a little at a time, until you have a smooth, spreadable icing. Drizzle over the sponge, scatter with lemon zest and leave to set before cutting into squares.

Piccalilli Makes about 2kg 1 litre malt vinegar 3tbsp coriander seeds 1tbsp fennel seeds 2 large onions, finely chopped 1 large cauliflower, cut into small florets 4 ½ tbsp mustard powder 4 ½ tbsp plain flour 1 ½ tbsp ground turmeric 3tbsp ground ginger 200ml cider vinegar 125g French beans (local variety), cut into 1cm pieces 2 red peppers, chopped into 1cm pieces 2 big cucumbers, diced

Whyyoushouldeat Oregano Oregano is not merely a pleasant flavouring, it’s almost a superfood in its own right! Although oregano is most widely used in America as a ‘pizza herb’ (brought back by World War II soldiers returning from Italy), it’s originally native to southwestern Eurasia and, of course, the Mediterranean. Said to be created by Aphrodite as a symbol of happiness, the name Origanum vulgare derives from the words ‘acrid herb’. But the more interesting explanation posits that the term stems from the Greek words ‘oros’ (mountain) and ‘ganousthai (to delight in), giving oregano the meaning ‘joy of the mountain’.

This mountain joy of a herb has been revered by the health conscious for May 26, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

centuries. Hippocrates used oregano as an antiseptic, as well as a cure for stomach and respiratory ailments, while a Cretan version of the herb is still used today as a palliative for sore throats.

And although, in 2005, the US Federal Trade Commission brought legal action against a firm that had claimed oil of oregano treated colds and flus, there’s still substantial evidence to prove that the father of modern medicine knew what he was about: its anti-inflammatory properties help to relieve congestion and reduce muscle and joint aches and pains, and many respiratory conditions - including asthma, bronchitis, colds and flu – have been found to respond well to oregano oil.

3 garlic cloves, finely sliced 250g caster sugar 2tbsp sea salt Put the malt vinegar, coriander and fennel seeds in a preserving pan and bring to the boil. Add the onions and cauliflower and cook until slightly softened but with a bite.

Mix the mustard powder, flour, turmeric, ginger and cider vinegar in a bowl and make a paste. Add the beans, peppers, cucumbers, garlic, sugar and salt to the pan and simmer until the sugar and salt have dissolved. Strain the vegetables, reserving the liquid.

Put the mustard paste into the pan with the vinegar liquid and bring to the boil. Reduce the temperature and simmer until thick enough to coat the back of a wooden spoon. Return the vegetables to the pan and stir to combine. Spoon into clean, sterilised jars and seal. Piccalilli will keep up to a year in a cool, dark place.

1.6kg small strawberries, washed, hulled and halved Juice and peel of 2 lemons (in large pieces) 1.6kg sugar Knob of butter Layer all the strawberries, lemon juice, peel and sugar in a large, nonmetallic bowl, finishing with a layer of sugar. Cover with a tea towel and leave overnight. The sugar should partly dissolve, drawing water from the fruit to make a pink syrup.

Put a small plate or saucer in the freezer. Tip the strawberries and all the syrup into a large heavy-based saucepan, preferably with sloping sides. Heat gently to dissolve the sugar, turn up the heat and boil hard for 6-10 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat and plate from the freezer.

Drop a little jam onto the plate, leave for a minute, then push your finger through it. If the skin wrinkles on top, the jam is ready. If not, boil for another couple of minutes before checking again. Remove the peel.

Add the butter and stir to dissolve any surface scum. Allow to cool for 2030 minutes before dividing between sterilised jars to cool completely.

COMPILED BY ALIX NORMAN ORMAN

A study published in the April 2010 issue of the Journal of Drugs and Dermatology found that oregano was among the robial most potent natural antimicrobial eria and agents. These powerful bacteria fungi killing properties stem from the high thymol content found inn the herb herb, and make it ideal as a painkiller and anti-inflammatory: oregano tea is often used to treat indigestion, coughs, and menstrual cramps, while the oil is said to alleviate toothache. Full of minerals, the leaves are a great source of manganese, iron and vitamin A – which all help to boost the immune system – and the herb is packed with potassium,

an important component of cell and body fluids that helps control heart rate and blood pressure.

But while oregano can be great for the immune and circulatory systems, where it really excels is in the digestive arena. Although, in large quantities it can have a laxative effect – so limit your intake -the thymol and carvacol com-

pounds present in the herb are beneficial in aiding digestion and treating stomach upsets, while the active principles in the herb increase intestinal enzyme secretions, improving gut motility and increasing the power of digestion. So even if you’ve decided to pass on the salad and order a pizza tonight, if you add some oregano, you’re doing your body some good!

12 FOOD & DRINK RESTAURANT REVIEW by Alexander McCowan OTHER PLACES TO TRY NICOSIA DISTRICT Aegaion Ektoros Street, Tel: 22 433297 Ellinikes Diadromes Aglandjia Avenue, Tel: 22 330701 I Stoa Toy Dimitri Digenis Akritas Avenue, Tel: 22 343030 Irinia Arch Kyprianou Avenue, Tel: 22 422860 Elladites Pindarou and Evgenias Theodotou, Tel: 77777507 To Pantopolio kali Orexi 7 Vasileos Pavlou (behind the old GSP stadium).

Tel: 22 675151 Loukoullos Cleopatra Hotel Florinis street, Tel: 22 844000 Karvounomagiremata 154 Ledras street, Tel: 22 680067 Pais Paradosiakes Geyseis 10 Prevezis Street (off Stasikratous Street), Tel: 22 665070 Paliolinos Har. Koukkoularidi street, Galata, Tel: 22 924455

LIMASSOL DISTRICT Lyssiotiki Souvla 55 Spirou Kyprianou Germasoyia, Tel: 25 321858 Episkopi Village Inn Arch. Makariou street, Episkopi, Tel: 25 932751 Kanella Saripolou street, Tel: 99 430460 Karatelo Haroupomylos Laniti, Tel:25 820464 Neo Faliro Gladstonos Street, Tel: 25 365768 Ta Kalidonia Platres, Tel: 25421404

LARNACA DISTRICT Art Cafe 6 Stassinou Ave, Tel: 24 653027 Gyros Prodromos 56 Oum Haram, Tel: 24 650265 Milijis Piyiale Pasa Avenue, Tel: 24 655867 Koutsonikolias Kalo Chorio, Tel: 24 361890 Kali Eftichia Agios Theodoros, Tel: 24 322690

PAPHOS DISTRICT Akamas Health Farm and Spa Panorama Drousia, Tel: 26 332424 Araouzos 17 Georgiou Kleanthous street, Kathikas, Tel: 26 632076 Farmyard 14 Kato Vrisi street, Kathikas, Tel: 26 632745 Imogen’s Inn Kathikas, Tel: 26 633269 Meze meze

Kathikas main street, Tel: 26 632076 Sidayes 16 Kinyras street, Tel: 26 910422 The Old Town 9 Georgiades Kyproleontas street Polis, Tel: 26 322758 To Arxondariki Makarios Avenue, Polis Chrysohous, Tel: 26 321328

Get in early for Nicosia’s best value lunch Edesmatopolion, Nicosia

T

his establishment was reviewed by me some years ago when it was under different management. I referred to it being a delight as was Lisa the proprietor who offered a genuine alternative to the fast food outlets which were dominating the capital. It was a period when the lunch-time eateries that provided sound local dishes were in decline and I regretted their passing. Since then there has been an improvement in this area with the emergence of the new venues inside the walls and the ameliorating of one or two of the more traditional establishments outside.

The name of the case in hand has always defeated me, anything in Greek over five syllables is a plague on my memory, but I understand it loosely translates as ‘a place with

The restaurant offers a lunch-time buffet that consists of a vegetarian’s eyeful: six bean dishes: broad, black-eyed, kidney, giant as well as okra, lentils, peas and artichokes, chickpeas, vegetable fritters and many more good food’ and that is absolutely correct. Its location is on the right just before the traffic lights outside the Cyprus Secret Service headquarters on the road that leads to the American Embassy. The renovated Churchill hotel is across the road.

That’s enough geography, let’s deal with the food.

On entering, the customer is invited to choose from a selection of salads and dips and then continue to the first section of the buffet that is now run by Elias the Cretan, who took over last year and obviously likes vegetarians for he produces the best selection of traditional bean, pulse and vegetable dishes I have

eaten in Cyprus.

The restaurant offers a lunchtime buffet that consists of a vegetarian’s eyeful: six bean dishes: broad, black-eyed, kidney, giant as well as okra, lentils, peas and artichokes, chickpeas, vegetable fritters and many more; sometimes they are combined with each other and different sauces - the customer may take some from each tureen.

In previous encounters with hotel buffet operations one has been struck by the parsimonious surface area of the plates provided but not here, full size dinner plates, no less.

Following the bean-feast on the counter comes the fish and meat.

The rabbit stifado is a favourite with many and there is very little left for the late-comer. There are various chicken dishes and fish, fried, baked and grilled, all there for the tasting.

The restaurant offers up to 60 covers, more if the weather is forgiving, and has a thriving take-away service, twice as many take out as dine in.

On Sundays the system is slightly different with waiter service and many of the above dishes are on offer but supplemented by the publicly barbequed suckling pig and kokkoretsi (Greek haggis), something unusual on Sunday in the city.

From next week the Edesmatopolion will open in the evening for the fi rst time when Elias will be serving a Cretan meze from 7-30pm till midnight.

There is a sensible and gently priced wine list that may be taken by the glass or bottle. Sweets are limited to mastic ice-cream and wild cherries which could become an addiction.

The buffet price is a remarkable €7 in the week rising to an outrageous €8 on Sunday! This is the best value lunch venue in Nicosia; long may it thrive. It opens from 12noon until 4pm. Get there early.

VITAL STATISTICS SPECIALTY Vegetarian and traditional Greek food WHERE Edesmatopolion, 41 Metoxiou Street, Nicosia CONTACT 22 775777 PRICE €7-8 for lunchtime buffet

SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

games

Fast & Furious Showdown Become part of the crew! Strap in and get ready for an intense ride as you team up to take down a dangerous international gang that can only be stopped by you and the rest of the Fast & Furious crew.

discs The National

Trouble Will Find Me Still a cult band, despite a Brit nomination, this Cincinnati quintet continue to sidestep the big pop moment on their sixth album. The songs move in a stately slow-motion, with even a powerful rock song such as Don’t Swallow the Cap feeling forlorn thanks to Matt Berninger’s devastated croon, while the singalong chorus on Demons is severely subdued. It’s relentlessly downbeat, never stepping out of the shadows, but always beautiful. The simple guitar notes and piano chords of Heavenfaced provide just enough sound to enthral as the singer mutters, “If you lose me I’m gonna die.” His band are worth holding close as they quieten down but become ever stronger in their songwriting.

By David Smyth

We’ve seen what London’s iconic skyline is soon going to morph into and it’s gorgeous, but it’s nowhere near as sweet as this beauty. Here’s London’s famous skyline recreated with 2,186 sugar cubes to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the Museum of London Docklands.

Armed with a glue gun and a stanley knife, Chris May 26, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

awesome upgrades and performance perks Storyline that spans the franchise and travels the globe: Heists, hijacks and mayhem combine across eight epic global locations, from Rio to LA to Moscow, in an original storyline that spans the entire Fast & Furious film franchise.

Consoles: 3DS, PS3, Xbox 360, Wii U

Thirty Seconds to Mars Love Lust Faith + Dreams As befits a band fronted by a Hollywood superstar, Thirty Seconds to Mars’ music comes with a certain amount of pomp and circumstance.

Indeed, Up in the Air, the lead single from their fourth album, was recently launched from Cape Canaveral to the International Space Station.

Birth is only mildly less ambitious - a portentous pomprocker in the mould of Muse – while the U2indebted City of Angels sees Jared Leto offering his finest Bono impression. In their bid for stadium sized success, however, the band abandon all sense of proportion: everything is big, bold and brash. Pity those astronauts: in space, no one can hear you screaming for less.

By Rick Pearson

Texas The Conversation The good news is that Texas have

Naylor spent the best part of three days building the 13kg relief-like London, bringing the Eye, the Gherkin, Parliament’s Elizabeth Tower, St Paul’s and Tower Bridge into sugar-lump view.

This is the insanelygorgeous, mental new Centenary Aston Martin Meet the Aston Martin CC100 - a celebration of 100 years of the iconic British sports car, and an update taking the low-slung lines of the 1950’s Aston racers and bolting a 21st century 6L V12 monster in the front.

The concept is electronically locked to

returned with a new album after a long fallow period caused by the near-fatal brain aneurysm suffered by Ally McErlaine. He has, thankfully, recovered and was apparently the catalyst for this return to the studio. The notso-good news is that Texas, although otherwise in rude health, still sound like a slightly secondrate version of Blondie when they are not being a third-rate impersonation of The Pretenders. Matters are improved somewhat by the involvement of Richard Hawley, who has contributed song writing skills, and his melancholy guitar twangs to songs such as If This Isn’t Real, I Will Always and Hearts are Made to Stray. Elsewhere, the material is a little humdrum, particularly Detroit City, which Suzi Quatro might have passed on.

Lovely to have you back, don’t quite know why you bothered.

By Pete Clark

a blistering 180mph top speed, and will hit 60mph in a smidge over four seconds, apparently.

The car debuted in the hands of Sir Stirling Moss at the ADAC Zurich 24 Hours of Nürburgring race.

Bonk the day away with a floating, 4-in-1 Fisherman’s Best Friend For the fisherman with space constraints, cramming every little piece of gear you’ll need into one little tackle box can be just as

Trip journal Trip Journal is an award winning slice of software that will elevate your ability to record your travel experiences into the memory worthy ‘record of a lifetime’.

Want to track your trip? You can do it in a heartbeat. Want to spread the love with a swift bit of social networking? No problem. The app even received a $100,000 prize from Google themselves for its top class conceptual design.

USP’S come in the form of realtime updates that will offer a step-by-step visual diary for friends and family back on home soil. Just to add to the seamless documenting is an elevated Google Earth integration, but what does this mean exactly? Well it offers those bored of a Monday to follow exactly where you are and what you’re doing via visited locations (handy for the angstridden parent waving goodbye to their gap year teenagers), as well as videos, blog entries and any comments made by followers (eek). www.trip-journal.com

Pic Collage Pic Collage will wrap up your best photos in an incredible cornucopia of top notch design and keep those memories as fresh as the day they were born.

25 million users can attest to the fact that this is one natty little development, one that allows you not only to resize (genius), but also to flip, trip and clip images with the merest swipe of a well-practised finger. Even better, you can add text, stickers and even unusual backgrounds.

Pics can be imported from anywhere; Facebook, Twitter, the hallowed Instagram and even Mixi, or go the traditional (and decidedly more private route) by simply emailing them to friends and family.

Travel pictures will stay with you forever, so it’s worth investing some time in making them stand out, after all - what else are you going to do on the beach bar reading? www.pic-collage.com

frustrating as it is disorganised. Fortunately - at least for the smaller bits - the Kombo Fish Tool will keep you from fumbling around by wrapping four serious fishing necessities into one handy package.

This multi-tool built for a fisherman gives you a bonker, filet knife, gut scooper, and sharpener, all with an easy-to-grip handle.

And just because it’s plastic doesn’t mean the bonking side won’t pack a punch - threee brass plugs have been een inserted into the device’s evice’s head to let you givee a good, strong whack with ease.

TOYSFORTHEBOYS HE EBOYS

London’s skyline has never looked so sweet

Team Action Racing: Get behind the wheel of some of the world’s most intense rides and take on high-stakes driving missions cooperatively with a friend or computer AI. Choose the Experience: Put skills to the test in Challenge Mode, an over-the-top game mode offering addictive objectives and high re-playability Diverse and customisable cars: Build your dream car and modify it with more than 50

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TECHNOLOGY 13

SCARY MOVIE 5

14 FILM

DIRECTED BY Malcolm D. Lee STARRING Ashley Tisdale, Simon Rex, Erica Ash US 2013 86 mins

FILM REVIEW by Preston Wilder

Scarily incompetent Scary Movie 5 is an inept spoof that doesn’t even seem to know what it’s spoofing

W

hat do Black Swan, Inception, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and Mama have in common? Nothing at all. The fi rst is an arty drama about ballerinas that came out in 2010, the second a mind-bending blockbuster, the third a sci-fi prequel about intelligent monkeys, and the fourth a so-so supernatural thriller that came out earlier this year and is already half-forgotten. Only Mama is what you’d call a ‘scary movie’, making it bizarre that all four feature so heavily in Scary Movie 5 (the actual onscreen title is Scary MoVie, with a capital ‘V’). Then again, nothing’s too bizarre when it comes to this train-wreck, an incompetent spoof that seems to have no idea what it’s spoofi ng.

Mama supplies the semblance of plot, with Simon Rex and Ashley Tisdale as a husband and wife assailed by creepy goings-on after they adopt his late brother’s children. Morgan Freeman (or a Morgan Freeman soundalike) supplies the narration – and you also get, in no particular order, a Latina housekeeper who’s fat, hairy and aggressively religious, a French ballet director based on Vincent Cassel in Black Swan, assorted comic violence done to children and babies, Snoop Dogg rolling a blunt so righteous it takes two people just to carry it, Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan having acrobatic sex, people falling down ad infi nitum and monkeys fl inging faeces at the walls. Oh, and a toothbrush up a dog’s anus. And a little girl sticking a toy up her own anus. And a bit where Ashley opens a closet door only to be confronted by the fat Latina housekeeper on the toilet, after which the Morgan Free-

man soundalike can’t even narrate because the stench is so bad.

It’s enough to make you ask ‘What’s happened to comedy?’ – and it’s true, Hollywood comedy is embarrassing these days. But Scary Movie 5 has an added complication, because this juvenile spoof was written by two men in their 60s – David Zucker and Pat Proft, both born in 1947, both veterans of much better spoofs ranging (in descending order of merit) from Airplane! to Naked Gun to the third and fourth Scary Movies.

There are two fi lms at war in Scary Movie 5 – the old-style burlesque which Zucker and Proft clearly enjoy, and the low mix of sex and scatology which Kids Today are condescendingly assumed to want.

Not that the old jokes are better but their lameness is more endearing, thus for instance an ‘intelligent’ ape writing out a complex mathematical equation with a picture of a banana as the fi nal answer, or a TV news anchor reading a story that turns out to involve his own wife and her lover, or a man saying “I do not wish to repeat myself: I repeat, I do not wish to repeat myself”. These jokes are terrible but they are, at least, jokes, as opposed to ‘Hey this woman just took a dump, isn’t that funny’ or ‘Hey here’s a reference to Film X, isn’t that funny’.

Simply put, the people who made Scary Movie 5 have contempt for the fi lm, and even more contempt for the audience who’d flock to see it. They don’t care that the coarse humour is primitive, thrown in as gracelessly as those monkeys hurling their faeces. They don’t care that they’re baffl ing the target audience by spoofi ng Black Swan, which isn’t just old and un-scary

Simply put, the people who made Scary Movie 5 have contempt for the film, and even more contempt for the audience who’d flock to see it

but was never even geared to the same crowd as, say, Paranormal Activity. Oddly, the fi lm comes up-tothe-minute with an out-of-nowhere spoof of Evil Dead, which only opened last month (I presume they worked from the trailer) – and it’s so unexpectedly lively that it feels like a younger, edgier crew might’ve been drafted in at the last moment, weeks after Zucker and Proft had submitted their creaky script.

To my shame, I smiled occasionally. I smiled when Dude A said “There’s a mad demon in your

house!” and Dude B replied “Wait – Matt Damon’s in my house?”.

I smiled at the lesbian variation on the train-into-tunnel gag from North By Northwest. (Why the two hot dogs, though?) I smiled when the French ballet director told our heroine “I want you to have my children” and a little French boy appeared saying “But Papa, we want to stay wiz you!”. I smiled at the throwaway bit where every Google search seemed to lead to a porn site. It’s not that Scary Movie 5 is utterly worthless – more that it’s so slapdash, opportunistic, lazily written and generally cynical that the fi lm’s sleazy self-loathing becomes depressing, and you hate yourself for even smiling. In the end, the Morgan Freeman soundalike puts it best: “If anything is to be learned from this,” he intones grimly, “it’s that mankind is a pathetic race” – and admittedly the fi lm was a flop, but Scary Movie 5 still made $30 million at the US box office, which is five times as much as Amour, We Need to Talk About Kevin, The Deep Blue Sea and We Have a Pope combined. Now that’s scary.

filmsummaries The Expatriate

Scary Movie 5

Stolen

Ben Logan (Aaron Eckhart) is an ex-CIA agent and single father living in Belgium. Supposedly hired by the Halgate Group as a security expert, Logan arrives at work one day to find the operation gone with no trace remaining; even his emails from the company have been deleted.

With his sulky teenage daughter Amy (Liana Liberato) by his side, he digs deeper and finds the bodies of all his co-workers, all illegal immigrants, at a Brussels morgue. Meanwhile, representatives of the US government and European private interests search for both him and a stolen document that incriminates Halgate. Also starring Olga Kurylenko. Directed by Philipp Stolzl. (Action thriller, 100 mins.)

Happily-married couple Dan (Simon Rex) and Jody (Ashley Tisdale) begin to notice some bizarre activity once they take custody of their two nieces and baby nephew. When the chaos expands into Jody’s job as a ballet dancer and Dan’s career as an Ape researcher, however, they realize that their family is being stalked by a nefarious demon. Together, with the advice of certified experts and the aid of numerous cameras, they must figure out how to get rid of it before it’s too late. Also starring Erica Ash, Terry Crews, and Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan as themselves. Directed by Malcolm D. Lee. (Comedy, 86 mins.)

Will Montgomery (Nicolas Cage) is a master thief who gets double-crossed in a heist gone awry and sent to prison for eight years. Upon his release he’s ready to leave his criminal past behind and try to rebuild a relationship with his estranged daughter Allison – but the FBI and his old cohorts believe that he’s hidden the $10 million loot from the heist, so his old partner Vincent (Josh Lucas) kidnaps Allison and demands the entire $10 million as ransom. Montgomery only has one day to get the ransom – but, much to the disbelief of the FBI, he doesn’t actually have the money. Instead, he teams up with his old partner in crime, the sexy and smart Riley (Malin Akerman), to pull off one more heist and get his daughter back alive before it’s too late.

Also starring Danny Huston. Directed by Simon

Our rating:

Our rating:

West. (Action thriller, 96 mins.)

Our rating:

Evil Dead Five young people head off to a dilapidated cabin in the woods. They’re staging an intervention designed to get Mia (Jane Levy) off the drugs that have consumed her life. Her four supporters are her estranged brother David (Shiloh Fernandez), his girlfriend Natalie (Elizabeth Blackmore), registered nurse Olivia (Jessica Lucas) and bookish Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci). In the cabin’s dim, dank basement, they discover a bunch of dead cats and the Necronomicon, a book made from human skin that contains dark magic spells. Eric, in an act of extreme stupidity, starts reading things from the Necronomi-

SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

THE EXPATRIATE

15

DIRECTED BY Philipp Stolzl STARRING Aaron Eckhart, Liana Liberato, Olga Kurylenko Belgium/Canada/UK 2012 100 mins

The Expatriate is a solid, diverting Euro-thriller that requires no justification, and doesn’t get one

An American in Belgium R

eviews have been harsh for The Expatriate. The fi lm is called Erased in the US (where the concept of an expat is less familiar, maybe because if you live in the States you’re assumed ipso facto to be American), and critics seem keen to erase it from their memories as quickly as possible.

Personally, I enjoyed it. It’s not really Jason Bourne-ish, even though our hero Ben (Aaron Eckhart) is a former CIA agent; the Bourne fi lms are propulsive and big on kinetic action, whereas this is more of a mystery adventure with Hitchcockian overtones. There’s a bit of 70s thriller Three Days of the Condor in the concept of a man in a seemingly innocuous office job whose colleagues are slain for reasons unknown – and of course there’s a bit of The Lady Vanishes, only here it’s ‘The Office Vanishes’.

One day Ben is working as a systems tester in Belgium, where he lives with sulky teenage daughter Amy (Liana Liberato), the next his entire place of work has disappeared.

The office is just empty rooms. The bank has no record of the salaries he’s been receiving. The company he worked for claims to have no idea what he’s talking about, and the emails through which he was hired have been deleted from his Blackberry (you’d think he’d have some sort of written contract, but what-

ever). As in Unknown, the Liam Neeson Euro-thriller from a couple of years ago – which I also seemed to like more than most people – this paranoid premise is so instantly intriguing it buys a lot of goodwill, which comes in handy later as the fi lm defl ates into merely watchable.

To be honest, The Expatriate doesn’t play its hand especially well. It should’ve milked the ambiguity as long as possible (our minds should be toying with sci-fi possibilities like dream and parallel dimension), whereas it only takes a few minutes for a thug with a gun to arrive, threatening Ben and Amy – then the thug gets killed and a key is found on his corpse, and the key opens a locker and a folder is found in the locker, and we’re fi rmly in airport-novel territory. Also on hand is Olga Kurylenko as Ben’s CIA handler Anna (her role is elusive, though she does seem to cry very easily for

con out loud – and suddenly the five friends are being hunted by a demon.

Directed by Fede Alvarez. (Ultra-violent horror, 91 mins.)

Our rating:

The Host The world has been invaded by a species of alien parasite that enters a body through a slit in the neck and eradicates the host’s personality. Humans are now an endangered species, with almost all of Earth’s population having been converted except a few small clusters of rebels. One of these dissidents, Melanie Stryder (Saoirse Ronan), is captured by a ‘Seeker’ (Diane Kruger) when attempting to distract the aliens from finding her brother. Melanie becomes

May 26, 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

a secret agent) and assorted shifty corporate types including an evil CEO with the skeletal menace of Mr. Burns from The Simpsons, corporate negligence turning out to be the real villain.

There’s a subtext there, if you want to tease it out. Ben and Amy go up against Big Business and are helped by the have-nots, Amy’s Algerian boyfriend and his family.

Amy herself is preparing a photo exhibition called ‘Without Voices’, focusing on immigrants, refugees and other people who have nowhere to go because “we screwed up their country”. Ben initially warns his daughter not to get caught up in

This paranoid premise is so instantly intriguing it buys a lot of goodwill, which comes in handy later as the film deflates into merely watchable other people’s problems – but his own reason for leaving the Agency was because he “grew a conscience” and refused to follow orders. “Don’t let your noble moral compass get in the way, Ben,” warns the chief baddie. Earlier, Ben reminds Anna of their youthful ideals, when they started out working for the CIA in Somalia: “We stood for something.

We believed we could change the world…”

None of this is especially origi-

the host for an alien named Wanderer and the two struggle for control of her mind. When the Seeker threatens to remove Wanderer from Melanie’s body, she escapes and goes in search of the rebels, who are led by her uncle, Jeb (William Hurt); when she finds them, however, she is not given a friendly welcome. Also starring Max Irons and Frances Fisher. Directed by Andrew Niccol. (Sci-fi drama, 125 mins.)

Our rating:

Iron Man 3 Brash but brilliant industrialist Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr), a.k.a. Iron Man, is up against The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley), a terrorist whose reach knows no bounds. When the ruthless supervillain destroys his world, Stark vows revenge, us-

ing his arsenal of gadgets and remotecontrolled suits – but he soon finds out that things aren’t entirely as they seem.

Also starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Guy Pearce and Rebecca Hall. Directed by Shane Black. In 3D. (Comic-book action comedy, 130 mins.)

nal, but respect to The Expatriate for dwelling on it, just as it dwells on the details of its McGuffi n (the guilty secret at the heart of the cover-up) and the details of the father-daughter relationship (“When Mom was sick, you’re all she talked about,” sighs Amy tearfully) – though it can’t quite transcend the clichés in that relationship, nor the ultimate, rather dodgy moral that sulky teenage girls should listen to their daddies. This is a half-baked movie, but at least it tries to bake – if you’ll pardon a strained analogy – in a world where most fi lms are content to be fast food.

‘More plot holes than a Swiss cheese!’ scoffed a friend as we fi led out of the cinema – yet couldn’t think of any when I challenged him to come up with specific examples.

The Expatriate is actually quite solid, for the genre, it’s just (I suspect) that it lacks any true originality, so none of it feels convincing.

There are swooping, Hollywoodstyle establishing shots of Belgian cities. There’s a shadowy “expert” – a professional assassin – who never speaks. There are action scenes in a parking lot, a hotel, a morgue and a hospital, the last-named leading to some unintentional black comedy as a patient on an IV gets whacked by a stray bullet. This is diverting Euro-hokum that requires no justification, and doesn’t get one. Personally, I enjoyed it.

on Banning’s inside knowledge to help retake the White House, save the President and avert an even bigger disaster. Also starring Dylan McDermott and Morgan Freeman. Directed by Antoine Fuqua. (Action, 120 mins.)

Our rating:

Our rating:

Olympus Has Fallen When the White House (Secret Service Code: ‘Olympus’) is captured by a North Korean terrorist mastermind (Rick Yune) and the President Benjamin Asher (Aaron Eckhart) is kidnapped, disgraced former Presidential guard Mike Banning (Gerard Butler) finds himself trapped within the building. As the national security team scrambles to respond, they are forced to rely

The Croods The cave-dwelling Croods are a prehistoric family who live largely in the dark. The family consists of father Grug (voiced by Nicolas Cage), mother Ugga (Catherine Keener), son Thunk (Clark Duke), daughter Eep (Emma Stone) and Gran (Cloris Leachman) – but one day their cave is destroyed by an earthquake, forcing them to embark on the journey of a lifetime. Travelling TURN TO PAGE 16

16 FILM

Films change on Friday. Check the Cyprus Mail for details of new films for Friday and Saturday.

newreleases Stolen

Fast & Furious 6

filmsummaries continued from page 15

Ever since Dom (Vin Diesel) and Brian (Paul Walker) pulled off the Rio heist that left their crew with $100 million, our heroes have scattered across the globe. Meanwhile, Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) has been tracking an organisation of lethally skilled mercenary drivers across 12 countries, whose mastermind (Luke Evans) is aided by a ruthless second-in-command revealed to be the love Dom thought was dead, Letty (Michelle Rodriguez). The only way to stop the criminal outfit is to outmatch them at street level, so Hobbs asks Dom to assemble his elite team in London. Payment? Full pardons for all of them so they can return home and make their families whole again.

Directed by Justin Lin. (Action thriller, 130 mins.)

across a spectacular landscape, they meet a young man named Guy (Ryan Reynolds) and discover an incredible new world filled with fantastic creatures. Directed by Kirk De Micco and Chris Sanders. (Kids’ cartoon, 98 mins.)

Our rating:

Sammy’s Great Escape Sammy and Ray, a pair of leatherback turtles, are captured by a poacher and shipped off to a spectacular aquarium show in Dubai. The kingpin of the place, Big D the seahorse, enlists them in his plans for a great escape – but, with their new friends Jimbo the bug-eyed blob fish and Lulu the snippy lobster, Annabel the sweet octopus and a whole family of penguins, Sammy and Ray hatch breakout plans of their own. That is

Our rating: **

when little Ricky and Ella arrive, determined to break in to rescue them.

Directed by Vincent Kesteloot and Ben Stassen. DUBBED INTO GREEK. (Kids’ cartoon, 92 mins.)

Our rating: N/A

The Virgin Spring In 14th century Sweden, a young woman is brutally raped and murdered by goat herders after her half sister has invoked a pagan curse. By a bizarre twist of fate, the murderers ask for food and shelter from the dead girl’s rich parents – who, discovering the truth about their lodgers, exact a chilling revenge. Starring Max Von Sydow and Birgitta Valberg.

Directed by Ingmar Bergman in 1960.

In Swedish, no details of subtitles supplied. (Drama, 89 mins.)

Our rating:

Ratings Key

What’sonwhere NICOSIA Fast & Furious 6 (12) K-Cineplex (Screen 1) at 7.45 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 5pm; KCineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 1) at 5, 7.45 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 11.30am and 2.15pm. Tel: 7777-8383 The Expatriate (12) K-Cineplex (Screen 2) and K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 2) at 10.30pm.

Tel: 7777-8383 Scary Movie 5 (15) K-Cineplex (Screen 6) at 8 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 5.35pm; K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 4) at 5.35, 8 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 11.30am, 1.30pm and 3.30pm. Tel: 7777-8383 Stolen (12) K-Cineplex (Screen 3) at 8pm, weekends also at 5.30pm; K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 3) at 8pm. Tel: 77778383 Evil Dead (18) K-Cineplex (Screen 5) at 8 and 10.15pm; K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 5) at 10.15pm. Tel: 7777-8383 The Host (12) K-Cineplex (Screen 3) at 10.15pm; K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 3) at 10.15pm. Tel: 7777-8383 Iron Man 3 (12) K-Cineplex (Screen 2) at 7.45pm, weekends also at 5pm; K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 2) at 5 and 7.45pm, weekends also at 11.30am and 2.15pm.

Tel: 7777-8383 (K) All Audiences (12/15/18) No admittance to Under-12s/15s/ 18s (N/A) Not Available

Olympus Has Fallen (18) K-Cineplex (Screen 4) at 7.45 and 10.15pm; K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 5) at 7.45pm. Tel: 7777-8383 The Croods (K) K-Cineplex (Screen 4) (in English) and (Screen 5) (in Greek), weekends only at 5.30pm; K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 3) (in Greek) and (Screen 5) (in English) at 5.30pm, weekends also at 11.20am, 1.20pm and 3.15pm.

Tel: 7777-8383 Scandinavian Film Festival Cine Studio, from tomorrow at 9pm, Sunday at 8pm, presented by the Friends of the Cinema Society. Free entrance. Tel: 96-420491, www.ofk.org.cy

LIMASSOL Fast & Furious 6 (12) Rio 1 at 7.45 and 10.15pm, weekends also at 5pm. Tel: 25-871410; K-Cineplex (Screen 1) at 7.45 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 5pm. Tel: 7777-8383 The Expatriate (12) Rio 5 at 7.45 and 10pm, weekends also at 5.15pm. Tel: 25-871410; K-Cineplex (Screen 2) at 10.30pm. Tel: 7777-8383 Scary Movie 5 (15) Rio 4 at 7.45 and 10pm. Tel: 25-871410; K-Cineplex (Screen 4) at 8 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 5.35pm. Tel: 77778383 Stolen (12) Rio 3 at 7.45 and 10pm. Tel: 25-871410; K-Cineplex (Screen 3) at 8pm. Tel: 7777-8383

Unforgettable Unmissable Recommendable Watchable Regrettable Abominable

Evil Dead (18) Rio 6 at 10.15pm. Tel: 25-871410; K-Cineplex (Screen 5) at 10.15pm. Tel: 7777-8383 The Host (12) K-Cineplex (Screen 3) at 10.15pm.

Tel: 7777-8383 Iron Man 3 (12) Rio 2 (in 3D) at 7.45pm, weekends also at 5pm, and (in 2D) at 10.10pm. Tel: 25-871410; K-Cineplex (Screen 2) at 7.45pm, weekends also at 5pm.

Tel: 7777-8383 Olympus Has Fallen (18) Rio 6 at 8pm, weekends also at 5.30pm.

Tel: 25-871410; K-Cineplex (Screen 5) at 7.45pm. Tel: 7777-8383 The Croods (K) Rio 3 (in Greek, in 3D), weekends only at 5.15pm; Rio 4 (in Greek, in 2D), weekends only at 5.15pm. Tel: 25-871410; K-Cineplex (Screen 3) (in Greek) and (Screen 5) (in English), weekends only at 5.30pm. Tel: 7777-8383 The Virgin Spring ‘Ston Dromo’ Coffee Shop (Genethliou Mitella 34), Monday at 8.30pm, presented by the Limassol Cine Club. Free entrance. Tel: 99-477333

LARNACA Fast & Furious 6 (12) K-Cineplex (Screen 1) at 7.45 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 5pm.

Tel: 7777-8383 The Expatriate (12) K-Cineplex (Screen 2) at 10.30pm.

Tel: 7777-8383

Olympus has Fallen

Scary Movie 5 (15) K-Cineplex (Screen 6) at 8 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 5.35pm.

Tel: 7777-8383 Stolen (12) K-Cineplex (Screen 3) at 8pm, weekends also at 5.30pm. Tel: 7777-8383 Evil Dead (18) K-Cineplex (Screen 5) at 8 and 10.15pm.

Tel: 7777-8383 The Host (12) K-Cineplex (Screen 3) at 10.15pm.

Tel: 7777-8383 Iron Man 3 (12) K-Cineplex (Screen 2) at 7.45pm, weekends also at 5pm. Tel: 7777-8383 Olympus Has Fallen (18) K-Cineplex (Screen 4) at 7.45 and 10.15pm. Tel: 7777-8383 The Croods (K) K-Cineplex (Screen 4) (in English) and (Screen 5) (in Greek), weekends only at 5.30pm. Tel: 7777-8383

PAPHOS

The Expatriate (12) Rio 2 at 7.30 and 9.45pm. Tel: 26-207000 Scary Movie 5 (15) Rio 7 at 7.30 and 9.45pm; Rio 5, Friday and weekends at 5.30pm. Tel: 26207000 Stolen (12) Rio 4 at 7.30 and 9.45pm. Tel: 26-207000 Evil Dead (18) Rio 3 at 7.30 and 9.45pm. Tel: 26-207000 Iron Man 3 (12) Rio 1 (in 3D) at 7.30 and 9.50pm, Friday and weekends also at 5pm. Tel: 26207000 Olympus Has Fallen (18) Rio 5 at 7.30 and 9.45pm. Tel: 26-207000 The Croods (K) Rio 4 (in English, in 3D) and Rio 7 (in Greek, in 3D), Friday and weekends at 5.15pm, weekends also at 3.15pm.

Tel: 26-207000 Sammy’s Great Escape (K) Rio 3 (in Greek), weekends only at 3.30 and 5.30pm. Tel: 26-207000

Fast & Furious 6 (12) Rio 1 at 7.30 and 10pm, Friday and weekends also at 5pm. Tel: 26-207000

SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

17

Getting the show on the rroad oad Classic cars from around the world will be taking part in their world rally in Cyprus this week reports ALIX NORMAN

I

n the coming week these shores will be playing host to the most elegant of visitors. But far from being closeted away in five-star seclusion, our stylish guests will be parading themselves for all to see as they make their graceful tour of the island. You may catch a glimpse of them on your way to work in Nicosia, as you head to your mountain retreat at the weekend, when you pop to the beach in the afternoon. You might spot them in Latchi, or on their way east to Protaras, possibly you’ll see them enjoying the Salt Lake or taking in the sights of Paphos. Their grand tour will encompass every corner of the island, and wherever they’re seen, they will astound with their mechanical beauty. For these are no ordinary tourists, they’re the classic cars of the Aphrodite FIVA World Rally.

Founded in 1966, the Fédération Internationale des Véhicules Anciens is a worldwide venture for users and collectors of classic vehicles and their World Rally is being held this year in Cyprus, organised by the Cyprus Federation of Classic Vehicles (OKAK).

Comprising six classic vehicle clubs, OKAK numbers more than 600 members who have over 1,000 classic vehicles between them - a

A Marmon Big Eight number that will be greatly increased this coming week as participants flood in from countries around Europe to take part in the rally.

Speaking to the General Secretary of the Club, Ersi Economides, one gets a sense of the passion that literally drives these enthusiasts: it was she who set the wheels in motion, bringing the World Rally to Cyprus for the first time in 2003, and she’s very glad to see it return this year despite the sacrifices that have had to be made. “Our main sponsor was sadly unable to support us this year, so all six clubs have chipped in to make ends meet,” she explains. “We’ll probably have five cents left between us after this, but it’s worth it!”

As poised and elegant as the fleet of classic Mercedes which are her calling card, Ersi is a long-time enthusiast. “A classic car is one which is over 30 years old, with no modifications that are out of its time, and as near to the original as possible,” she explains. “This rally is not for speed, it’s for fun,” she continues, with a smile. “It’s a regularity rally, which means competitors must complete a certain distance in a specific time, with penalty points awarded for vehicles that are too fast or too slow.”

With the maximum speed allowed being 50km per hour, the rally will take place on secondary roads, but with five days of competition there will be plenty of opportunities to see entrants whisking through the scenery on the Aphrodite Route. “It was the committee’s idea to include as many places related to Aphrodite as possible,” Ersi explains, mentioning Aphrodite’s birthplace, Aphrodite’s Baths and even Aphrodite Hills. “It’s wonderful for tourism: people get to know the island and appreciate its beauty.

Even our local participants may experience scenery they’re never seen before,” she says, adding: “I myself have seen places with the rally that I’ve never been before in my life!”

With a course that traverses the island and includes four nights on the road, the rally has been fortunate to receive sponsorship from a number of hotels en route, including the Thanos Hotes in Paphos, the Forest Park in Platres, the Capo Bay in Protaras and Aphrodite Hills in Kouklia, as well as invaluable aid from the SIXT car rentals company and coverage from LTV. “Spectators can watch from anywhere along the route,” syas Ersi, “or visit one of the two

exhibitions which will be held before and after the rally.”

It’s an opportunity not to be missed, as the rally boasts a number of vehicles never before seen on the island. Car enthusiasts will thrill to the line up: there’s a Renault XB from 1905, a Willys Overland from 1917 and a Chevrolet Corvette Stingray from 1975 - driven all the way from Norway on a trailer pulled by a Cadillac Eldorado! With 32 entries in total, the 19 Cypriot crews (including two school-aged navigators) will be gearing up for a great race. Whether you’re turning out in support of your compatriots, a car enthusiast or even an admirer of eternal elegance, let’s get this show on the road!

ROUTE Monday 27 May – Starting from the Enaerios Parking place in Limassol at 12:00, stopping at Kouklia, ending at Paphos Harbour Tuesday 28 May – Starting from Paphos, visiting Aphrodite’s Baths in Latchi, stopping at Aphrodite Hills for lunch, ending at Forest Park Hotel Wednesday 29 May – Starting from Forest Park Hotel, passing

through Kakopetria and ending at the Nicosia Hilton.

Thursday 30 May – Starting at the Olympic Building in Nicosia, stopping at Capo Bay for lunch, passing by Larnaca seafront and ending at the Nicosia Hilton Friday 31 May – Starting at the Nicosia Hilton, passing by Hala Sultan Tekke, stopping at the Camel Park for lunch, visiting Stavrovouni and ending at the Nicosia Hilton

EXHIBITIONS May 26 at the Enaerios Parking Place in Limassol, from 10.00 to 16.00 June 1 in the Constanza Moat in Nicosia, from 11.00 to 17.00 For further information visit www.fivawrcyprus2013.eu

What’sonlistings

Exhibition

Exhibitions Nicosia district

Arteries Project Art exhibitions that lead to a rediscovery of old Limassol centre, providing a unique opportunity to come in contact with the contemporary artistic creation. Until June 6.

Limassol Medieval Castle. Tel: 99-615985/99-948994/99-868104. info@arteriesproject.com. www.arteriesproject.com May 26 , 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

A Renault XB1905

The Manifesto of a Woman to the World Solo art exhibition by Marina OlympiosLycourgos. Opens May 28, 7pm until May 30. University of Cyprus, 75, Kallipoleos Avenue. May 28-29: 9am-10pm. May 30: 9am-midday. Tel: 99-893372 9.251 km2 Photographic exhibition accompanied by book dedicated to the natural beauty of Cyprus by Nikolas Michael and Giorgos Pantazis. Opens May 30, 8pm until June 5. Studio Ermou 300, old Nicosia. Tel: 22349316 A Matter of Choice Solo art exhibition by Lefteris Olymprios.

Until May 30. Gallery Gloria, 3 Zinonos Sozou Street. Monday-Friday: 10.30pm12.45pm and 5pm-8pm. Saturday: 10.30pm-12.45pm. Tel: 22-760286 Cluster A generative audiovisual performance

by Kurt Hentschlager. Until May 31. The Office, 32 Kleanthis Christofides Street.

Tel: 99-848495 The Real Truth Solo painting exhibition by Anna Varelli. Until May 31. Apocalypse Gallery, 30 Chytron Street. Monday- Friday: 10.30am-1pm and 5pm-8pm. Saturday: 10.30am-1pm. Tel: 22-766655 The Playroom Solo art exhibition by Elina Sophocleous.

Until June 7. Argo Gallery, 64E D. Akrita Avenue. Monday-Friday: 10am-1pm and 5pm-8pm. Saturday: 10am-1pm. Tel: 22754009. www.argogallery.org

Beautiful Things for Beautiful People at Affordable Prices An exhibition of collectors’ items, small antique furnishings, engravings and more. Until June 10. Opus 39 Gallery, 21 Kimonos Street. Monday: 5pm-8pm.

Tuesday-Friday: 10.30am-12.30pm and 5pm-8pm. Tel: 22-424983 DIY Cyprus Group exhibition. Until June 15. Is Not Gallery, 11 Odysseus, Chrysaliniotissa.

Monday-Saturday: 10am-1pm and 4pm8pm. Tel: 22-343670 Terra Mediterranea – In Crisis Group contemporary art exhibition curated by Yiannis Toumazis scrutinising the current turbulence experienced globally, from both a political and a poetic stance. Until July 21. Nicosia Municipal Arts Centre 19, Palaias Ilektrikis. TuesdaySaturday: 10am-3pm and 5pm-11pm.

Sunday: 10am-4pm. Tel: 22-797400. info@ nimac.org.cy. www.nimac.org.cy The project includes a second contemporary art exhibition curated by Re Aphrodite team. The exhibition deals with the unwritten feminine histories of Cyprus and their private and public structure. Until July 21. Ethological Museum – The House of Hagjigeorgakis Kornesios, 20, Patriarxou Grigoriou. Tuesday, Thursday, Friday: 8.30am-3.30pm. Wednesday: 8.30am-5pm. Saturday: 9.30am-3.30pm.

Tel: 22-305316 The World of Cyprus Exhibition of monumental work consisting of 11 panels by famous Cypriot artist Adamantios Diamantis, which return home after over 30 years of absence.

Until October 6. The Leventis Municipal Museum, 15-17 Hippocrates Street, Laiki Yitonia. Tuesday-Sunday: 10am-4.30pm.

Wednesday: 10am-10pm. Tel: 22-661475

Cyprus Icons and Mosaics Makarios III Foundation, Archbishopric, old Nicosia. Monday-Friday 9am-4.30pm and Saturday 9am-1pm. Tel: 22-430008 Old Maps and Engravings 16th-19th Century Permanent exhibition: Cyprus and other Greek lands, Europe and America. Viewing by appointment. Gallery Leventi, 6 Polykleitos St. Tel/Fax: 22-348451/ 99658694.

Cyprus Yesterday and Today Permanent exhibition. Diachroniki Gallery Idalion, 32 Makarios Ave., Dhali.

Open Monday-Saturday 11am-5pm. Tel: 22-525691

Larnaca district Helen Tumelty’s Mosaic Studio Permanent exhibition of mosaic pictures, tables and mirrors. Just off Zenon Kitieos St. Studio also offers mosaic classes in a small friendly environment throughout the year. Tel: 99-925315 Cyprus Artists Pieces from the Larnaca municipality’s permanent collection on display. Larnaca Municipal Gallery. Monday-Friday: 9am4pm, Saturday: 10am-1pm. Tel: 24-657745

Limassol district GSCE & A Level Art and Design Year Show 2013 Student group exhibition. May 29-30.

House of Arts and Literature, 16 Iouniou 1943. 5pm-7pm. Tel: 99-536199 Woman in Art Solo painting exhibition by Giorgos Kotsonis. Until May 31. Peter’s Gallery, 31 Ioanni Polemi Street. 10am-1pm & 4pm7pm. Tel: 99-679242

TURN TO PAGE 19

18 WHAT’S ON Nightlife Nicosia district Marlenka Café Music Weekends Come and enjoy a glass of wine, your favourite cocktail or dinner while you listen to violin pedagogue Professor Robert Hovanesyan and member of the Cyprus Symphony Orchestra.

Marlenka Cafe, 92-94 Phaneromenis Street, old Nicosia. Every Saturday and Sunday evening from 8.30pm. Tel: 70-001129 Live Jazz Event Jazz music with band ‘D Lirious’, food and drinks available. Every Friday night at Baroque Lounge Bar, Cleopatra Hotel. 9:30pm.For reservations contact 22-844000 Music Nights Entechno and folk music at RED. Every Saturday. Red, Dionysus 15, old town hall square.

Tel: 22-767711. www.music.net.cy/red Agapiou Escuela de Danza Parties Latin parties every Sunday at Sitio Cafè, 20 Makarious Avenue, Nicosia.10pm Milonga/Argentinean Tango Regular Milonga/Argentinean Tango every Thursday at Enallax,16-17 Athinas Avenue, Nicosia. 10pm Blue Wine and Lounge Bar Serving over 140 selected wines from across the world. 96 Rigenis St, Classic Hotel, Old Nicosia. Open daily except Sunday. 12 noon until late at night. Tel: 22-664006 Marco Polo Playing live Latin music. Marco Polo Bar, Holiday Inn rooftop, 70 Regina St. 11pm until late.

Monday- Thursday €10 with one drink. Friday and Saturday €20 including two drinks. Tel: 22-712712

Arabesque Sundays With belly dancers and ethnic music. Mberdema Gold, 30 Nikiforou St, Famagusta Gate.

11.30pm until late. Tel: 22-345946 Club Red Live Greek music and various events. 15 Dionysiou St, Old Municipality Square, Nicosia.

Thursdays-Sundays, 10pm onwards. Tel: 99516799/ 22-767711 Lush Playing R&b, hip-hop, basement and old school music. Friday and Saturday, 11.30pm. 6 Evagorou Avenue. Tel: 99- 853333 Scorpios Platinum With various theme nights from WednesdaySunday. Stasinou 3, Engomi. Wednesday and Thursday 11pm- 3am, and Friday and Saturday 11pm-4am. Tel: 99-545690 Skaraveos Restaurant, café and bar with Persian Cuisine.

Wednesdays: electronic music, Thursdays: reggae and Fridays: progressive psychedelic and Saturdays: rock and funk. 11pm-2am. 4 Nikokreontos St. Tel: 99-935777 Amalfi Lounge Bar Every Thursday, Friday and Saturday live music with Yiota Louka, Christos Andreou, Konstantinos Koutras and Yiannos Hadjiloizou. Enjoy exotic cocktails, finger food and Cuban cigars daily from 5pm-2am. Hilton Park Hotel. Tel: 22-377777 Enallax With various live music shows each week, with a focus on English and Greek rock. Athinas St. old Nicosia. Wednesdays & Thursdays 11pm2pm, Fridays-Saturdays 11.30-3pm. Reservations: 22-430121/99-617820

Horseshoe Pub 60s, 70s and 80s music from Monday-Sunday.

Horseshoe Pub, Larnaca-Dhekelia road, opposite Palm Beach Hotel. Tel: 24-646111

Limassol district Daddy’s Groove Italian house music group get behind the decks. June 2. Guaba Beach Bar, Amathous Avenue, Agios Tychonas. 10am-9pm. Free entry before 3pm. €5 euro drink token after. Tel: 96-682865 Crowne Plaza Lounge-Bar On Mondays rediscover your romantic side with Violin Duo playing classical music and popular melodies on the violin. Every Wednesday, local guitarist - Byron Athinodorou will be playing a mix of Spanish melodies, pop-rock hits and Greek classics on the guitar, alongside his own compositions. Every Friday Jazz – Blues night with a mix of upbeat and smooth jazz classics. Crowne Plaza. Tel: 25-851515 Cuba Tropical Local band playing live Cuban-Latin sounds every Sunday. Wet Beach Bar, Amathountos Avenue. 9pm-11.30pm. Tel: 25-320006 Harleys Café Bar Happy hour 10am-6pm. Every Tuesday, pub games night. Every Thursday, quiz night. Special theme nights once a fortnight. Near Esso station, Amathus Area. Tel: 25-328533 Electronic music at Barfly Quality house, techno and minimal beats with guest DJ. Every other Friday. Barfly, 1 Elenis Paleologinas St. 10pm until late. www. myspace.com/pmdj

Paphos district Cyprotel Cypria Bay Hotel Every Monday Jezebel & Lisa-Marie present a themed show 9.45pm for an hour at Cyprotel Cypria Bay Hotel.

Free entry Moonlight Bar Every Friday Jezebel sings golden oldies 9pm – midnight arbour road in Kato Paphos. Free entry The Sea Gypsies Live acoustic blues and country music every Friday from 10pm. The Old Fishing Shack Ale and Cider House, Margarita Gardens, Tefkrou Street, Kato Paphos. Tel: 99805390/99-170667 Latin Nights at Notos Latin music in a rooftop bar.

Notos, Harbour area. Every Thursday and Saturday. 10 pm until late. Tel: 26-939616 Paphiessa Hotel Thursday: Dave Roberts sings hits, Paphiessa Hotel, Kato Paphos. Tel: 99-185952 Square Bistro Saturdays: David East entertains on the guitar. 8 pm. Square Bistro, Tala Square. Tel: 26930408/99-966139

Italian trio find their groove at Guaba Guaba Beach Bar, recently crowned 15th in World’s Best Club by DjMag knows how to throw a party.

An alternative to the mainstream bar culture of Cyprus, Guaba has become notorious for its free parties on a Sunday afternoon which involve anything from CO2 bazookas and pyrotechnic flares to theatre dance performances and of course a stellar lineup of international DJs. On June 2, rising Italian trio Daddy’s Groove will grace us with their smoking hot DJ set. The Naples-based trio – lesser known as Gianni Romano, Carlo Grieco, and Peppe Folliero – are one of Italy’s most impressive house music exports. The way they work is Romano and Grieco DJ, while Folliero produces.

Three years ago, Daddy’s Groove started to release its own songs after playing tracks from other artists. Having remixed everyone from Whitney Houston to Louie Vega, the Italians have created everything from vocal anthems to driving electro bangers. The trio has also contributed some iconic remixes to the dance game.

But it was not until the summer of 2011 that the trio advanced to a higher level after David Guetta (one of the Ithaki Bar Charismatic bar with outdoor summer area.

33 Nikiforou Foka St. Old Nicosia. 7pm-2am expect Mondays. Tel: 22-434193 Avlaia Music Stage Hosting live bands on weekdays and regular Greek music weekends with George Arestis and Dimitris Makris. Avlaia, Corner of Emmanuel Roidis and Prodromou St. Tel: 22 675638 Chateau Status A café/bar and restaurant with various theme rooms catering to different tastes. Ledra Palace Road. Monday-Sunday 10am-2am. Tel: 77771167 Potopion to Ellinikon With live Greek music on Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Potopion to Elinikon, 18 Theophani Theodotou St, Zina Palace building. 9pm until late. Tel: 22-722760 Brew Lounge and tea bar. Brew, 30b Hippocrates St, Nicosia. 11.30am-2am on weekdays, 11.30am3am on weekends. Tel: 22-100133 Mystiagogia Relaxed bar playing both Greek and English rock, and a selection of chill out music. Mystiagogia, 42 Areos St, Old Nicosia. Open daily 8pm-2am. Tel: 99-788486 Baroque Live music every Thursday night from the 70s, 80s and 90s, 9.30pm until late. Open on a daily basis as regular bar from 10am-2am.Baroque Lounge Bar, Cleopatra Hotel. Tel: 22-844000 The Petsteppers Trio playing live every Monday. Lotofagi Bar, 8 Athinas Avenue, Old Nicosia. 10pm. Tel: 22347573 Funky Jelly at Domus With DJ Yiotis and Theo playing uplifting lounge tunes. Domus lounge bar, 5 Korai St, Old Nicosia. 10pm until late. Tel: 22-433722

Daddy’s Groove Italian house music group get behind the decks. June 2. Guaba Beach Bar, Amathous Avenue, Agios Tychonas, Limassol. 10am9pm. Free entry before 3pm. €5 euro drink token after. Tel: 96-682865

Larnaca district

Mandaloun With Lebanese food and DJs every Friday and Saturday night playing a variety of ethnic, world and chill out music. Mandaloun, opposite Le Meridien Hotel. 7pm-2am. Tel: 25636845 Graffiti House, tribal house, oriental and mainstream hits. Enjoy your drink with finger food and nargile. Wednesdays- Saturdays, 9pm-2am.

Graffiti bar, 236 Ayios Andreas St. Tel: 25747552 Jazzy B With live jazz music on various nights each week. JazzyB, Corner of Anexartisias & Athinon str. €8. 10.30pm. Tel: 99-605502 Half Note Blue velvet play classic soul, funk and RnB every Saturday night. Half note Music Bar, cnr Saripolis and Socratous st. Tel: 25-377050 Woodman’s Pub Traditional English pub, serving an excellent range of foods including Sunday Roast. Big Screen TV’s, Karaoke every Friday evening and a quiz with a rolling jackpot every Monday. 73 Georgiou Avenue. Tel: 25-879082

by Andreas Vou

Cocktails meet high end design Cosmopolitan Bar, Larnaca

most in demand producers on the planet) asked them to take part on his album Nothing but the Beat. They have seen an upsurge in their career since and in the summer of last year Guetta asked the group to become resident DJs for his popular event F*** Me I’m Famous in Ibiza, Spain.

With a reputation for high energy, high octane live sets, it appears the Guaba faithful are in for an exciting day on Sunday.

Orpheas Piano Bar With live jazz and piano on various nights. Orpheas Piano Bar, 24 Athinas St, old Nicosia. Free entrance. Tel: 22439311/99-697259

Club Deep Mayday Fridays: with DJ Ruda, hosted

by Marshall. €10 incl. 1 free drink. Super Saturdays: with DJs Dekzta and Ruda, hosted by Marshall. €10 incl. 1 free drink. Every Wednesday night, student night: Pure Vibes with DJs Cos and Dekzta, hosted by Marshall. Free entrance. Phinoikoudes Promenade.

12-4.30am. Tel: 97-843001 Cosmopolitan Lounge Bar Every Friday night: English & Greek music from 11-2am. Cocktail night with cocktails created and designed by Cyprus’ No.1 mixologist, Marios Zeniou. Music provided by DJ Tommy Gee. Every Saturday night: Live music & DJs from 11late. Cocktails created by top mixologist, Marios Zeniou. Every Sunday night: Classic lounge bar grooves with DJ Harry Borg playing the best deep house grooves from 11pm. Free entry.

Strictly over 21s. Phinoikoudes. Tel: 97-843001 Times Bar ‘Manic Sundays’ with Manic Mike playing progressive/electro. 73 Athens Avenue, Finikoudes Promenade. Tel: 24-625966 DMC An uplifting atmosphere with a range of stimulating weekly events. Laiki Gitonia, 1 Watkins St, Finikoudes. Open daily from 9.30pm. Tel: 99-458138 Salsa Island Regular event every other Friday featuring DJ Escobar. Music includes Pure Salsa, with a twist of Pure Salsa, Merengue, Mambo, Son and Cha Cha Cha. Blitz Roof and Pool Bar Terrace, 4th Floor, Kition Hotel. 10pm until late.

Tel: 96-717271

REVIEW

Famagusta district The Live Lounge Venue Napa Live’s spiritual home continues for 2013 with an exciting roster of top bands and acts.

From 8pm every night of the week. Live music on stage from 10.30pm each night. The Live Lounge Venue, Katalymata St, next to Red Square bar opposite Castle Club. www.liveloungevenue.com Sirena Bay Bar Playing a diverse range of music, from chill out to upbeat electronic tunes. Sirena Bay, near Golden Coast Hotel, Paralimni. 7am-1am. Tel: 99-511701 Guru Bar Live music with DJ Dimi, bongos and dancers.

Guru Bar, 11 Odysseos Elitis Street, Ayia Napa.

Every Thursday, 10pm. Tel: 23-721838 Vanilla Bar Playing funky house tunes. Vanilla Bar, 41 Makarios III Avenue, Ayia Napa. Monday-Sunday 9am-2am. Tel: 23-721126

Larnaca’s nightlife has taken a huge step in the direction of maturity and sophistication with the opening of a new lounge bar which is exclusively open to adults over the age of 21. The recently opened hotspot on the Phinikoudes promenade is set to make a big impact on the night scene with its prime location, quaint appearance and some big name appearances.

Cosmopolitan aims to become a renowned establishment for those looking for an enjoyable night out with friends. The interior is slick with a generous seating area containing raised couches for those looking to have more of a relaxed night. For those who want to be more involved in the action, there is plenty of space to manoeuvre in the middle area of the venue while the bar area is also open and spacious.

When it comes to ordering, the standard drinks found at any other bar are available but it would definitely be an opportunity wasted if you were to leave without trying one of Cosmopolitan’s signature cocktails, served up by Cyprus’ no.1 mixologist Marios Zeniou. The bar brings in various renowned DJs to perform live sets as well as certain singers which gives for a more enhanced appreciation of music than a generic CD played on loop for a number of hours.

In terms of atmosphere, Cosmopolitan seems to be offering a unique alternative to the current options in Larnaca and is certainly worth a visit to try for yourselves.

As Constandinos Constandinou, co-founder of Cosmopolitan, says “Cosmopolitan serves to be the very first premier destination lounge bar in the heart of Larnaca. Our aim is for locals and tourists alike to find sanctuary in tasteful and refined surroundings whilst enjoying the very finest world-class cocktail experience to be found anywhere in Cyprus.”

Cosmopolitan Where: Phinikoudes promenade, Larnaca When: 10pm – 2am Dress code: Fashionable & Elegant Contact: 97 843001

SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

19 What’sonlistings Postdigitalism Solo video exhibition by Theo-Mass Lexileictous. Opens May 31, 7.30pm until June 18. Morfi Gallery, 84 Agkyras St. Monday-Saturday: 10am-1pm. TuesdayFriday: 5pm-8pm.Tel: 25-378733. www. morfi.org Arteries Project Art exhibitions that lead to a rediscovery of old Limassol centre, providing a unique opportunity to come in contact with the contemporary artistic creation.

Until June 6. Limassol Medieval Castle.

Tel: 99-615985/99-948994/99-868104. info@arteriesproject.com. www.arteriesproject.com Within Narratives Solo art exhibition by Stelios Kallinikou.

Until June 15. Penindaplin Gallery, 49 Ellados. Open daily: Monday-Friday: 4pm8pm. Saturday: 12-4pm. Tel: 25-340727 Blackdove Art Studio Permanent exhibition of artwork in oils, acrylic, print and mixed media, including painted driftwood, by Mary-Lynne Stadler. Commissions welcome and art tuition on offer in a number of media.

Tel: 99-048369. www.marylynnestadler. com.

Anoyira Mosaic Artwork Discover the magic of mosaics and Anoyira. Friday-Sunday 10am-4pm, other times by appointment. Tel: 99-108710 Katie Sabry Studio Permanent exhibition of paintings in oils, watercolours and pastels. Mosaics Workshop, 9 Georgiou Malekidi St, nr Rialto Theatre. Tel: 99-571139. www.katiecolours.com Art by Susanne Gallery with contemporary artwork.

Shop 2, Marina Beach, Amathus Avenue.

Daily 10am-4pm. Percentage of profits go to children with Cystic Fibrosis. Tel: 99-247668 Theomaria Art Gallery Permanent exhibition of Vera Parlalidou’s ceramics. 7 Vassilisis Karlotta St. Monday-Friday 8am-1pm. Tel: 25745777 Michael Owen Galleries Permanent exhibition of oil and watercolour paintings. Lania. Tel. 25-432404. www.michaelowengallery.com Olivera Papathoma Permanent exhibition in City Art Gallery.

255A Saint Andreas St. Monday-Friday 9am-1pm, 4pm-7pm. Sat. 9am-2pm Sea King Permanent exhibition of old aviation photos. Sea King restaurant, near Akrotiri base. Tel: 25-954500

Paphos district A Letter to Cyprus An open-call exhibition, wherein artists were asked to send a letter as art work which is addressed to Cyprus.

Until June 1. Chiaki Kamikawa Contemporary Art, 10 Solonos Street. TuesdayFriday: 10am-1pm and 4pm-6pm. Saturday: 10am-1pm. Tel: 99-311225 Judith Constantinou Permanent exhibition of watercolours.

The Studio, Stephanie Village, Tala. Tel: 26-652760 Stewart B Johnson Open house viewings of Scottish artist’s works by appointment. G. Xenopoulou st. Tel: 26-930525 Gallery at Home with Theresa French Watercolours, prints and cards. 2 Modestou Panteli, 2 Nicolas Cliff, Yeroskipou. Tel: 26-962597/ 99-316485 Stone Sculptures Permanent exhibition by Andreas Constantinou. Polis Chrysochous, near central square. Call artist for viewing. Tel: 26-321227/99-585543 Michael Gorman Figurative paintings and prints. 20 Theodorou Kolokotroni, Peyia. Open daily.

Tel: 99-952376/99-006832/26-621424 Harry and Sheila Hawkins Art by Harry Hawkins and books by Sheila Hawkins. Ayias Zonis St., Neo Chorio. Open daily. Tel: 26-321123 Herbs and Wild Flowers Arts and crafts inspired by the flora of Cyprus. Medicinal herbal teas and oils available. Information Centre for the Akamas National Park at the School of Pano Arodes. Tel: 99-616748 David Lester Working Studio in Peyia, with permanent exhibition of oil paintings and other works by the author of ‘Wishful Thinking’. Tel: 26-621130

Famagusta district Blue Spice Restaurant Permanent exhibition of Carolina Alotus’ works. Blue Spice, 29 Aphroditis St (between Perneras and Protaras rd), Ayia Napa. Tel: 23-832088. www.CarolinaAlotus.com

compiled by Ledha Socratous

Where are the Rights of the Children of Karpasia?

Permanent photographic exhibition.

Famagusta Cultural Centre, 35 Evagorou St, Dherynia. Closed Sundays. MondayFriday 7.30am-4.30pm and Saturday 9.30am-4.30pm. Tel: 23-740860

Music Nicosia district International Pharos Chamber Music Festival Encompasses eight magnificent concerts with over 15 world renowned artists in three different venues in Cyprus. May 21-June 1: Royal Manor House, The Olive Grove and The Shoe Factory. 8.30pm. €10. Tel: 22-663871/70-009304. www. pharosartsfoundation.org June 1: Open-air concert for Strings. The Olive Grove, Delikipos Solidarity – Resistance – Hope A charity concert with Greek and Cypriot artists that aims to collect money to support initiatives of solidarity, including support for the unemployed. May 29.

Constanza Moat. 8pm. The concert is free with a voluntary solidarity contribution of €2/5/10

Larnaca district Together for Larnaca and our Fellow Human Beings Solidarity concert with well-known artists from Greece and Cyprus in aid for people in need. May 27. Phinikoudes Promenade, Larnaca. 4.30pm-midninght.

Free, but the public is asked to bring food (non-perishables) and essentials

Limassol district Barrie Rowe Big Band Echoes of Swing performing The Great American Songbook. The 18 piece Big Band from the UK featuring singer Alice Zawadzki, with local musicians and acclaimed Paralimni vocalist Simon Barter.

May 27. Pissouri Amphitheatre. 7.30pm. €12 in advance, €14 on the door, €10 for PRA and Pine Bay Club members and military personnel. Bring cushions and a cool box.

Tel: 99-832538. Online tickets: www.tickethour.com.cy, www.andrewoliver9.co.uk

Paphos district International Pharos Chamber Music Festival Encompasses eight magnificent concerts with over 15 world renowned artists in three different venues in Cyprus. 8.30pm. €10. Tel: 22-663871/70-009304. www. pharosartsfoundation.org May 27-31: Five Chamber Concerts with some of the world’s leading soloists.

Royal Manor House, Kouklia Barrie Rowe Big Band Echoes of Swing performing The Great American Songbook. The 18 piece Big Band from the UK featuring singer Alice Zawadzki, with local musicians and acclaimed Paralimni vocalist Simon Barter.

Tel: 99-832538. Tickets: www.tickethour. com.cy. www.andrewoliver9.co.uk May 26: Y & P Latchi Hotel. Dinner 7pm, showtime 8.30pm. €25 inc. dinner in advance, €30 on the door June 2: Tala Amphitheatre. Doors open 6.30pm, water only in amphitheatre, no cool boxes, bring cushions, bar available. €12 in advance, €14 on the door

Theatre & Dance Nicosia district Centuries Away from Alaska Dionysos Theatre presents play by Akis Dimou, directed by Tonia Misiali. Until May 26. Dionysos Theatre, 29 Diagorou Street. On Fridays and Saturdays at 8.30pm and Sundays at 6.30pm. In Greek. €15. Tel: 99-621845/22-818999 Dear Mr. Strindberg The Theatre Group Solo for Three present play based on the work of August Strindberg Miss Julie. Until May 28. Melina Merkouri Hall, Athina Avenue. Every Monday, Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday at 8.30pm. €10/5. The net proceeds will be given to charity. In Greek. Tel: 22-797650 Gethsemane A play about British public life by David Hare. Until May 31. THOC New Theatre Building, 9 Gregori Afxentiou. On specific days at 8.30pm and on Sundays at 6pm.

In Greek. €12/6. Tel: 22-864300 Incognito Small story-confessions accompanied by music. June 1-15. THOC New Theatre Building, 9 Gregori Afxentiou Street.

Tuesdays and Saturdays at 9pm. In Greek. €12/6. Tel: 22-864300

May 26, 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

EXHIBITION

The natural beauty of Cyprus Does the number 9,251 mean anything to you? Well, maybe it should, and no it’s not “the answer to life the universe and everything”, that’s 42!

Rather 9,251 refers to surface area of Cyprus and is the title of an exhibition and book by Nikolas Michael and George Pantazis. Following a presentation of their work in Munich, Berlin and Cologne, 9,251 km2, will now be introduced to local audiences in Nicosia at Studio Ermou 300 from Thursday until June 5, before moving on to the Municipal Cultural Centre Panos Solomonidis in Limassol on June 12 for two days.

The exhibition immerses the visitor in the natural beauty of Cyprus. A collaborative project, the two friends set out on a journey with the goal to travel and experience the entire surface area of Cyprus. They each captured the landscapes, culture and history with their own particular lens and perspective culminating in this exhibition and the book that accompanies it.

The photographs are an unashamed celebration of the beauty of nature. As such, they are a return to a more traditional form of art, but one which uses all the benefits of modern technology, in the cameras and in the printing. The viewer of Michael and Pantazis’ work is lifted out of the urban environment to confront the The Desperate A musical comedy from Greece starring Kostas Voutsas and Pavlos Haikalis. June 1-2. Makarios III Amphitheatre, (Amphitheater of School for Blind), 28th October Street, Acropoli. 9pm. €22/15. In Greek. Tel: 22-314507 www.soldoutticketbox.com Sovrakaless Play based on the book by Terrence McNally and the film The Full Monty.

Until June 9. WhereHaus 612, 5 Michael Kousoulide, Pallouriotissa Industrial Area. On Specific days at 8.30pm. In Greek. €15/12. Tel: 70-000612 Educating Rita Theatro Dentro presents stage comedy by British playwright Willy Russell.

Until June 8. Theatro Dentro, 1 Digenis Akritas Avenue. On Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays at 9pm. In Greek. Tel: 99-520835/99-384606 Troika? Game… Over!

A Cypriot comedy by Vassilis Konstantinou. Until June 30. Vladimiros Kafkarides Cultural Centre, Aglantzia. On Saturdays and Sundays at 8.30pm. In Greek. Tel: 22-312940/22-421609

Larnaca district Playing Doctor Theatro Skala presents the contemporary American comedy by William Van Zandt and Jane Milmore. Until May 26.

Skala Theatre, 15 Kyriakou Matsi Street.

On Saturdays at 8.30pm and Sunday at 6.30pm. In Greek. Tel: 24-652800

Limassol district Flying ship Moscow musical theatre Experiment present a musical for children and their parents based on the cult of a Soviet animated film. May 26. Agios Athanasios Municipal Theatre, 42 Stavraetou tou Machera Street. For children 3 years and up. 12midday. €10. Tel: 96-302770/257724135 Love Lies Theatre performance by Korina Kontaxaki, which received an ‘honours’ award at the 2012 THOC Playwriting Awards within the framework of Transcendental Theatre’s The Illusion of Separateness project. May 31-June 2. 8.30pm (7pm Sunday), Old Vinegar Factory. In Greek. €12. Tel: 99-832370/99-312710. www.illusionofseparateness.org. artforchange@ cytanet.com.cy

awesome majesty of nature.

At times literal and at times abstract, they cover a wide variety of images, from forest scenes to rocky streams, alongside forgotten places and monuments of the island that hope to spark within the viewer a sense of pride for Cyprus’ landscapes.

Michael has pursued a successful international modelling career which has enabled him to travel the world. Through this profession, Michael was given the opportunity to discover the world and its beauty and transition into the world of photography. Currently he maintains both professions, capturing every corner of the world on his extensive travels.

Pantazis has been working in his own architectural firm since 2003. Photographing various sites during his work brought him into contact with the medium. For the past four years, photography has become a penchant of his, a passion that has so far seen him take part in Pancyprian thematic competitions, winning awards and gaining praise.

9.251 km2 Photographic exhibition accompanied by book dedicated to the natural beauty of Cyprus by Nikolas Michael and Giorgos Pantazis. Opens May 30, 8pm until June 5. Studio Ermou 300 June 12-13: Municipal Cultural Centre Panos Solomonidis, Limassol. 8pm

My Romantic History Neos Kosmos Theatre presents awardwinning comedy by D.C. Jackson. May 25-26. Rialto Theatre. 8.30pm. €15/10. In Greek. Tel: 77-777745

Paphos district Flying ship Moscow musical theatre Experiment present a musical for children and their parents based on the cult of a Soviet animated film. May 26. Markideio Theatre.

For children 3 years and up. 6pm. €10. Tel: 96-302770/26-932571

Other Events Nicosia district Potamia May Fair Event aimed at celebrating the efforts of Potamia residents in rejuvenating the local history and heritage of the village.

The Fair will include traditional foods, drinks, dance and music performances and a guided village tour. May 26. Potamia Village Centre. 10.30-2.30pm. www. potamiaheritage.com Nordic Cinema The Embassies of Sweden, Finland, Denmark and Norway in collaboration with the Friends of Cinema Society present a series of Nordic movie screenings. May 27-June 7. Cine Studio, University of Nicosia. 9pm. Free. With English subtitles. Tel: 96-420491 Psatharis Auction House 14th Auction Auction with works by Cypriot, Greek and foreign artists. May 30. Hilton Hotel.

Preview at the AKAMAS Room as follows: May 28-29: 9am-10pm.May 30: 9am-5pm auction at 8pm.Tel: 24-621109/99-564131. or by e-mail at: info@psatharis-auctions. com.cy Memory Bring Me Back Tonight…

Tribute to famous Greek poet Constantine Cavafy with dramatised readings of his poetry accompanied by music. May 21-30. Foyer of Theatro Ena, 4 Athinas Avenue. Every Tuesday and Thursday at 8.30pm. €10 including the first wine. Tel: 22-348203 Miranda Returns Screening of the Venezuelan movie by the Embassy of Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela. May 31. Cultural Centre The Mills, 4, Constantinoupoleos Street, Kaimakli. 7pm. Spanish with Greek subtitles.

Free. Tel: 22-445332

Third International Classic and Historic Car Show Within the framework of the Aphrodite Fiva World Rally, the Show will include a classic car competition and voting by the public for the best car of the show.

June 1. Constanza Moat. 11am-5pm. Tel: 99-677477 International Women in Business Meeting A meet, greet and motivation event providing a unique networking opportunity for women in Cyprus. June 2. Cleopatra Hotel. 10am-12noon, Tel: 99-677252/99-694203 to register and reserve your seats, please visit website http://www.iwib.org/iwib-event-nicosia-cyprus Berlin – Alexanderplatz Remastered Screening of 14-episode mini-series by Rainer Warner Fassbinder. May 8 until June 6. Hall of the Goethe-Institut Cyprus. Every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday at 7pm. In German with Greek subtitles. Free. Tel: 22-674606 Kyriakos Michaelides Tailor Museum A sightseeing attraction for visitors in the area as well as a space where the young and new generations may become aware of the richness of the traditional tailor’s craft dating back to the sixties. Old Nicosia, Phaneromeni area.

Tel: 99-796333 Singing Group Singing for fun. All kinds of music in harmony small Nicosia group Tuesdays 5.30pm-7pm, all welcome. Call Olivia 99-497318 Rooftop Theatre Group Regular play script-writing workshop.

In the room next to Kala Kathoumena coffee shop in old Nicosia (Phaneromeni Square). 6pm. In English. Tel: 22- 661354 Kindermusik with Vaso Come and see how music and movement can stimulate your young child’s developing mind and body. Tel: 96693462. For full details please visit: www.kindermusikwithvaso.com. kindermusikwithvaso@gmail.com Childrens African DrumagiQ Includes: Drums and rhythm tuition with educational approach, psychological expertise, culture, customs, games, dance and innovative creative techniques. Every Friday. Kisa Centre, old Nicosia. 5-6pm for children under 12, 6-7pm for children 12-15. Tel: 22878181

Serenity House Offering classes in yoga, tai chi and anger management, self awareness seminars traditional Thai and classic massage, and more.

Serenity House, 2 Einstein St, Ay. Omologites. Tel: 99434353, Rebecca (Yoga) 99487927 or splishys@cytanet.com.cy Healing Rooms Free 20 minutes healing sessions for the well-being of spirit, mind and body in a loving atmosphere. Confidential.

Every second and fourth Thursday of the month. 8-9.30pm. 225 Strovolos Avenue, near Metro roundabout (above Afrikanos Bath Store). Tel: 99-771084 Inter-faith prayers and meditation Every Friday. Baha’i Centre, 11 Parthenonos, Kaimakli. Tel: 22-624283 HIV Discussion Group Discussing issues around HIV for sufferers and friends of sufferers. Every Thursday.

UNESCO Amphitheatre, Intercollege, Makedonitissas Ave. 7pm. Free Nicosia Horrible Hash House Harriers Exercise, eat, drink and be merry with Nicosia Hash House Harriers. Meetings every Tuesday 7.30pm for a walk, jog or run around Nicosia. For directions to the run or more info, Tel: 99-308436 or visit www.nh4.com.cy Nicosia Writers’ Workshop If you enjoy creative writing and want to meet people with similar skills, then the Nicosia Writers’ Workshop is the place to be, so bring your ideas and we’ll open a new world together. 48 Rik Avenue, Angantzia. Every Sunday from 11am-1pm.

Free membership to new candidates.

Ring Machela on 99-867315 Writing Workshops Unleash your creative side with Rhay Christou. Rhay’s Studio, Old Nicosia. Tel: 99 522333 Italian for Beginners Lessons offered by the Dante Alighieri Society and the Italian Embassy. Monday and Wednesday 6.30pm-8pm.Tel: 22358168/99-339644 Children’s Theatre Workshop Dionysus Theatre brings kids closer to theatre. Three different age groups, ranging from 6-18+. Classes are in Greek.

Dionysus Theatre, 29 Diagorou St. Tel: 22818999/99-621845 or visit www.music. net.cy/dionysos Play in a Day Fun theatre workshops geared towards adults. Every Thursday 6-8pm. (lessons for youths between 14 and 17 also take place on Wednesday 5pm-7pm). 15 per session or 50 per month. Taught in Greek and English. For registration Tel: 99-130916/99-552654. theatrenicosia@ gmail.com Arts & Moods Creative workshops for children of all ages. 15 Averoff Street, Strovolos. Tel: 22313142. email: artsandmoods@cytanet.com.cy Brocante Antique and vintage furniture market.

Every Sunday 9am-7pm. In front of the old municipal market in old Nicosia and outside the Akanthos workshop space.

Tel: 22-100984. www.facebook.com/ akanthos.furniture St Paul’s Thrift Shop Thrift Shop for clothes and bric-a-brac is open every Saturday morning from 10am- midday in St Paul’s Cathedral car park. Lots of bargains on offer at very reasonable prices. Tel : 22-445221 St Paul’s Babies and Toddlers Non-religious, non-political and multinational organisation that caters for newborn to pre-school kids with activities including outdoor and indoor play equipment and toys. St Paul’s Church Hall, Byron Avenue. No membership. babiesandtoddlers.googlepages.com Cans for Kids Quiz Nights First Friday of every month. 8.30pm.

Esogba, behind the Junior School. €5.

Drinks and home cooked food available.

Tel: 99-666011. www.cansforkids.org Cyprus Go Association Meetings every Saturday to learn the game and improve skills. Oktana Café, 2 Aristidou St. 5pm. Tel: 99-476253. cyprus@european-go.org, cyprus.european-go.org Porcelain Painting Paint your own dinner set or special gift for your loved ones. Beginners classes morning and afternoon. Strovolos. Tel: 99-620992 Saint Andrews Bridge Club Wednesday, Friday and Saturday 4pm, Saturday 7pm-10pm; 15 Heroes Avenue.

Tel: 22-781063 or 96-510121 Tarot Card Game Lessons Not lessons in the divination art but rather the strategy and memory game.

Every Wednesday evening. Brasserie Au Bon Plaisir, 15 Alasias Street. 8pm. Tel 96755111

20 WHAT’S ON

FOOD

Celebrate the arrival of summer with ice cream

Larnaca district Cyprus Sub Aqua Club Divers with their own equipment can join this BSAC dive club for fun shore and boat diving around the island. Social meetings and training sessions held regularly in Larnaca. Qualified divers from other dive affiliations can undertake cross-over training to the BSAC system on joining.

Tel: 97-767200 Transformative Tarot Course Fun & educational, meet other like-minded people. Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

7.30-9.30pm. contact: seekersofthetarot@yahoo.com for more details Kara – Mind & Body Centre Gain a certificate in Tarot Reading. An 18week course that covers symbology, colourology, numerology and much more.

KARA - Mind & Body Centre, Oroklini. Tel: 99-029952. tarotcyprus.yolasite.com/ about-us.php Fisu Meditation Learn Fisu Meditation. Free introductory talks on why meditate and what meditation is all about. Book by appointment, 24-532479/99-665330 Larnaca Hash House Harriers Every Monday, 5pm. For more information call Fred-the-web on 24-647175 Kition Hash House Harriers Run/jog/walk from a pub/taverna round the town and back. Wednesday evenings, 7.30pm. All welcome. Join us and have some fun. Tel: 24-647283 Antidote Theatre Workshops Drama workshops for children aged 5can attend weekly workshops to learn about theatre through games and play, and participate in productions staged at the end of each year. Theatre Antidote also offers its students the Trinity Guildhall drama examinations in June, a useful qualification for university applications.

Antidote Theatre, Apothikes st.Lazarus.

Tel: 24-822677. info@theatreantidote. com/ www.theatreantidote.com Baby Antidote Brings the young tots up to 3yrs in touch with theatre, by combining storytelling, fairytales and play. Through interactive performances inspired by favourite children’s books, the heroes come to life as the little ones embody them in their own unique way. Apothikes st. Lazarus. Every Monday and Friday, 9.30-11.30am. Entrance is €4 per family, and includes refreshments and snacks.

Royal Antediluvian Order of Buffalos Social and benevolent organisation supporting charitable groups. The James Mercury Lodge meets at Dhekelia Barracks. Every Tuesday, 7.30pm. Next to ‘George’s Taxi’ on the South Road. Tel: 24-635812 RAFA Larnaca Bay Branch Social gathering taking place on second Tuesday of each month. Beachcomber Restaurant, Makenzie Beach . 7pm. Tel: 24-363752. www.rafacyprus.co.uk/larnaca Larnaca Reading Group If you enjoy reading and debating the pros and cons of a book, you are welcome to join, the group endeavours to read a diverse selection of books. Larnaca Reading Group (LRG) meets the first Monday of each month in the Reading Lounge, upstairs in the Academic & General Bookshop, address: 41 Hermes Street. Tel: 24628401/99-597094/99-925315 Cash Bingo Eyes down every Wednesday, 8.30pm, and Sunday, 8.30pm, Makedonas restaurant, Dhekelia road. Food and drinks available at venues. Tel: 99-108391

Line Dancing Every Friday, 8pm. Makedonas restauraunt, Dhekelia road. Tel: 99-108391 Royal Engineers’ Association Meets on second Tuesday of the month at venues around the Island. For details of next meeting contact Bob Beer (Chair) on 97-633728 Larnaca Chicago Bridge Club Thursdays, 9.30am-1pm. Tel: Pete on 24424899 Larnaca Walking Tours Wednesdays: Larnaca Past and Present, 10am from CTO office in Vassileos Pavlou Square. Fridays: Skala and its Craftsmen, 10am from Larnaca Fort. Tel: 24-654322 Leon Friendly Darts League Meetings carried out at selected pubs: Tuesdays, 8.30pm. Tel: Bob Johnson on 24-427275 Mazotos Camel Park Adventures for the family. Camel rides, swimming, play areas and more. Tel: 24991243/99-416968. www.camel-park. com

Limassol district International Classic and Historic Car Show Within the framework of the Aphrodite Fiva World Rally, the Show will include a classic car competition and voting by the public for the best car of the show. May 26. Enaerios Parking Place. 10am-4pm.

Tel: 99-677477 International Christian Fellowship East Please join us, Sundays 10.30am, Angel’s English Nursery School, 37 Ampelakion, Germasogia. Sunday school available, small groups meet midweek. Tel: 99815033. www.icf.org.cy Day out in Lania Visit the museum, church, olive mill, wine press and the artists’ galleries. Lania.

Glennis208@gmail.com Island Blend Barber shop group sing a wide repertoire of songs at events and raise money for Friends for Life. Every Thursday at UKCA, 4pm-6pm. Tel: 25-397456 The World of Wine Beginners and advanced specialised courses for enthusiasts who wish to become more confident in understanding and enjoying fine wines and spirits.

Spectus shops, Nicosia and Limassol. Tel: 22-511521/25-341525 Food for Friends Vegetarian social group, with monthly lunch-time outings to tavernas and short presentations on related subjects.

Monthly lunch on last Saturday of month.

Tel: 25-634487/25-634487 Rising Star Youth Theatre of Limassol Theatre workshop for aspiring actors and actresses from the age of 6 years and up.

Call 99-608826 for information.

Children’s Theatre Workshop Organised by the Versus theatre group.

Theatro Ena, Limassol Municipal Market, old town. Classes for ages: 5-9, 10-13, 1717. Saturdays 9am-3pm. Tel: 99-428691. www.theatroversus.com Magic Craft Supplies For the latest on Magic Craft Supplies & Penny’s Parties, please visit www.pennycyprusmagic.com 25-634487/99-304237 Theatre Workshops Open to students between six and 16.

Every Saturday. ETHAL Theatre. Basement, 76 Franklin Roosevelt Ave. Tel: 25877827 Premiere Group Theatre group producing annual musicals. The group conducts monthly social events that include camping, picnics and sports evenings. Tel: 25-775922. www. premiere.com.cy C3A Limassol Join us and share educational, creative and leisure activities in friendly, sociable groups. Attend Open meetings, listen to informative talks, enjoy social activities.: C3A gmail (c3a.limassol@gmail.com) C3A, PO Box 51922, 3509 Limassol. Find out more: http://c3a-cyprus.org/limassol/

Stick your ice cream where the sun shines and let your worries melt away.

The best ice cream in Limassol seems to seduce crowds no matter what the weather.

While establishments across the city are likely gearing up for the summer rush, the very best of Limassol’s iced dairy crafters have kept their scoops in motion throughout the year.

And without a doubt, the best place to indulge in this exquisite dessert has to be Colors Café at the Four Seasons Hotel.

For years now, Colors has celebrated the arrival of summer with Ice Cream Week. Currently underway until Sunday, ice cream lovers have the opportunity to enjoy unique taste sensations full of imagination made by talented Pastry Chef Demetris Hadjiyiannis and his team. This year’s Ice Cream Week is dedicated to Four Seasons and inspired by the 20th anniversary of the hotel, with Help Me Grow Lecture on child development by the Health Ministry. Every Wednesday. Lecture hall, New Limassol Hospital. 6pm.

In Greek. Free Baha’is of Limassol Weekly discussion circle. Tel: 25-340021 Happy Valley Hash House Harriers Weekly runs on Thursdays around the southwest of the island, times vary, see www.hvh3.org.uk. Tel: 99-434794 Amathus Hash House Harriers Run, jog or walk every Sunday afternoon. For more info Tel: 99-905746. www.ah3.freeservers.com Limassol Walks Get to know the historical centre of Limassol. Mondays at 10am. Walks begin at the CTO Information Office, 115A Spyros Araouzos St. Free. Tel: 25362756 Limassol Crusaders Rugby Club Training on grass for Cyprus League matches, or just to get fit, Tuesdays 6.30-8.30pm and Thursdays 7-9pm, AEK Katholiki Stadium, Tagmatarchou Pouliou St. Seniors and Juniors. Tel: 96-323962. www.limassolcrusadersrfc. com Table Tennis Monday and Friday at 10 am at UKCA, 37 Termopilis Street. Contact Antonio 99-334706 Limassol Bridge Club Mondays and Fridays, 3.30pm at Limassol Sporting Club. Tel 99-645338 Car Boot Sale Every Saturday and Sunday at Moni Station. Tel: 25-323525/25-365102 Linopetra Corner Car boot sale on Saturdays, 8am-2pm.

Tel: 99-612832 Royal Antediluvian Order of Buffaloes Social and benevolent organisation.

Aphrodite Bitter Lake Lodge meet at the UKCA Club. Wednesdays, 6pm. Tel: 99-425527. The Troodos Pride of Cyprus Lodge meets at the UKCA Club. Every other Sunday, 10am. Tel: 99-345384

each ice cream/creation being separated into winter, spring, summer and autumn flavours.

At the heart of it all is innovation, offering locals and visitors alike an exciting blend of pure velvet yogurt with white chocolate cream and lime is just an example of the light tasty choices on offer. Furthermore, the menu is enriched with new unique flavours. You’re sure to find an ice cream to whet your appetite, choose from: blood orange with biscuit, dark chocolate praline with waffle and bitter chocolate, or millefeuille and rose petals with crispy biscuit.

Ice Cream Week Celebrate the arrival of summer with unique taste sensations. Until June 2. Colors Café, Four Seasons Hotel, Limassol.

9am-1am. Tel: 25-858000 Riding for the Disabled Horse riding for disabled riders from The Red Cross and Theotokos Foundation every Thursday morning 8.30am-11.30am.

Happy Valley, Episkopi. Volunteers needed. Tel: 25-773058. rdaroster@gmail.com RAFA Aphrodite Branch Social Meeting First Wednesday of every month. Sergeants Mess. Akrotiri. No food provided.

7.30pm. Tel: 25-932196 RAF Akrotiri Voluntary Band The band plays a large repertoire of classical music at military dinners, Episkopi Fete and charity fund raisers. Meetings every Monday: 7.30pm. Padre’s Centre at RAF Akrotiri. Tel: 99-925524 The Royal Military Police Association Cyprus branch seeks new members. First Friday of month. The RMP Corporals Mess, WSBA Episkopi. 2pm. Tel: 99-453867 Cyprus Donkey Sanctuary Visitor centre with shop, refreshments, hillside walk and picnic area. Friends of the Cyprus Donkey, Vouni. Daily 10am-4pm. Tel: 25-945488 Ocean Bar Restaurant Every Thursday: Bingo Night, 8pm. Tel: 96-381509. Every Friday: Multi Media Quiz with many prizes to be won, 8.30pm. Tel: 99-032876. Ocean Bar Restaurant, 10 Christina Court, Onicilliou St, Ayios Tychonas

Paphos district The Living in Paphos Expo A free weekly show with Local Businesses, exhibitors, market stalls, car boot, charities and attractions for all- with daytime and evening live shows. every Wednesday thereafter. La Fontaine, on the Tombs of the Kings road, between Pentaras Tavern and St. George Hotel.

2pm. Free. Tel: 99-008577. livinginpaphos@gmail.com. http://www.facebook. com/livingin.paphos.1

Fine art goes under the hammer A total of 113 works by Cypriot, Greek and foreign artists are to be exhibited at the Hilton Hotel Nicosia until they are auctioned off on Thursday. This will be the fourteenth auction organised by Psatharis Auction House.

All works are posted on the website and are available for viewing in the Akamas Room from Tuesday. Among the works in auction to look out for in the pricey range are: Bathers in Kyrenia by Christoforos Savva, a work that was exhibited in the artist’s solo exhibition at the Goethe Institute in 1969, est. €33,000 – 45,000 and St. Paul in the cave by George Economou,

(1861-1935), est. €4,500-6,000.

Psatharis Auction House 14th Auction Auction with works by Cypriot, Greek and foreign artists. May 30. Hilton Hotel, Nicosia.

Preview at the AKAMAS Room as follows: May 28-29: 9am-10pm.May 30: 9am-5pm auction at 8pm.Tel: 24-621109/99-564131. or by e-mail at: info@psatharis-auctions.com.cy

AUCTION

The World of Wine Beginners and advanced specialised courses for enthusiasts who wish to become more confident in understanding and enjoying fine wines and spirits.

Tailor-made courses, wine classes and tasting can also be organised on request.

Spectus shops, Nicosia and Limassol. Tel: 22-511521/25-341525 Coffee Morning A warm welcome for all women. Interesting talks and a chance to get together socially. Second Thursday of the month. (except July and August). 9.30am St.Paul’s Church Hall, Byron Avenue. In English.

Tel: 22-329293/99-924363 Walking Tours of Nicosia Mondays: Palouriotissa and Kaimakli: the past restore guided bus and walking tour. Thursdays: walking tour of Nicosia..

Free. Tel: 22-674264 Bird Watching in Cyprus Birdlife Cyprus regularly arranges bird watching trips around the island. Tel: 22455072, 99-059541. www.birdlifecyprus. org Horse Races Every Wednesday and Sunday at the Nicosia Race Club. Tel: 22-782727. Subject to change check website. www.nicosiaraceclub.com.cy

Spiritualist Meetings.

Monthly ‘Modern Spiritualists in Cyprus’ meetings are held on the last Sunday of the month in Stroumbi. 7pm start. For full details www.yvebrooks.org or Tel 97-801472 Paphos Flower Club Courses in flower arranging. Anglican Church Hall, Kato Paphos. Beginners 2pm, intermediate classes 12.30pm. Beginners. Tel: 99-475564/99-533704. Intermediate: 99-744635 Orphean Singers Three times a year this well established singing group delights audiences with an entertaining concert. Meetings every Friday at Kamaras club, 9.30am-12pm.

Tel: 26-913249 Paphos Light Music Society A new group starting up in Paphos for the appreciation of light opera, Gilbert and Sullivan etc. Non-singers also welcome. Meetings every fourth Monday at 3.00pm in Paphos area. Tel: 26- 723002/ 99-370883 Paphos Town Centre Walking Tour Get acquainted with the newest part of the city and learn how the town evolved from the late Byzantine and Mediaeval times. Every Thursday, 10am. CTO Information Office, 3 Gladstonos St. Tel. 26932841 The Corona Society Go along and meet new friends at monthly meetings held every second Wednesday of the month, 2.30pm – 4pm.

Coffee mornings held every last Tuesday of the month, 10.30am – 12.00pm. Annabelle Hotel. All proceeds go to local charities. Tel: 99- 177479 Scottish Country Dancing With the St Andrew’s Society, Paphos, at the Latin Parish Hall every Tuesday evening from September to May 6-8pm.

Beginners welcome 5.30pm. Tel: 99298512 Timi Village Car Boot Market Every Sunday 7am-1pm all through the year. Tel: 99-611637 Evans Plus Evans Comedy Magic Show, at the New Kikkos Bar Coral Bay - Alternate Tuesdays.

9.30pm. Tel 99-173801 Singles Nights at Ollie’s Bar Every second and fourth Saturday of the month. Ollie’s Bar, Trimithousa. 8pm. Tel: 99-769899 Quiz Nights Play for weekly prizes and a jackpot. Every Friday. Kings Hotel, Tomb of the Kings Road. 8.30pm. €2. Tel: 26-939075 Quiz night Quiz at the New Olympus Hotel. Every second Thursday of the month. 7.30pm.

To register your team call: 26-932020 New Friendly Bridge Chicago bridge every Tuesday with all bridge partnerships welcome. Fantasia Club. 6.45pm. Tel: 26-937551 Table Tennis Club Night Coaching for all levels by Gordon Allen.

Every Wednesday night. New venue, 7pm. Tel: 99-841471, 26-652763 Badminton Club Atromitos Badminton Club for children and adults meets four times a week, days and evenings, to suit all levels, coaching available or play just for fun. Tel: 99971150/99-519504.badmintonpaphos@ cytanet.com.cy www.atromitosbadmintonclub.org Emba Badminton club Emba Badminton club meets on Saturday mornings, and Tuesday and Friday afternoons. All levels of play are catered for. Tel: 99-276192. www.EmbaBadmintonClub.org.

Paphos Tigers RFC Mini Rugby: Tuesdays, 4.30pm-5.30pm. Kinyras Centre, Cypria Maris Sports Ground. Tel: 99934315/26-652959. barrie@cytanet.com.cy Paphos Cycling Club Newly founded to help promote cycling in Paphos as a great form of exercise, meeting and making new friends and a perfect way to see areas of beauty in Cyprus you would never normally see. We are an informal club and we welcome new members from all walks of life and abilities.

We meet every Sunday at Hectors Barin Coral Bay at 9am. Tel: 99-320213. www. paphoscyclingclub.com Paphos Adonis Lions Club Meetings every second and fourth Monday of the month at Paphos Gardens Hotel Resort. New members welcome as well as visiting members of other Lions Clubs. Tel: 26-622810/97-635883

Alzheimer Self Help and Support Group Offers dementia patients and their carers the opportunity to meet others with this condition, share feelings and exchange experiences. Latin Parish Hall, Coastal Rd. Chlorakas. Every first Wednesday of the month at 10am. Tel: 26-621530/96-767164 Cancer Patients’ Support Group Association’s Day Centre - 84 Ellados Avenue, Paphos, near Carrefour’s on Polis Road. Tel: 26-952478. Coffee morning on the second Tuesday of the month, 10.30am. Craft group meet every Thursday, 10am-12pm. New members always welcome. Quiz nights and meal on Thursdays and meal, 7 for 7.30pm.

Tel: 26-654007 or visit www.cancerpatientssupport.net Cancer Patients’ Support Group – Paphos Information Help Line Trained volunteers who will listen and assist anyone needing information, emotional support, befriending or referral to an appropriate professional. Available from 9am-1pm Monday to Friday.

Tel: 97-760989 Paphos Bereavement Support Group The Group meets the first Monday of the month from 2 – 4 pm at the Cyprus Samaritans Centre, Chlorakas. For more information please contact Sally on 99312662 or Rita on 99-175510 Gamblers Anonymous Support group for gambling addicts, partners and families. Meetings every Tuesday. Ayia Kyriaki Anglican Church Hall, Kato Paphos. 7.30pm. Tel: 26622289 Self-Improvement and Fulfilment Dr. Eva Bratslavsky clinical psychologist and psychotherapist weekly discussion group meetings on self-confidence, self-esteem, relationship enhancement, assertiveness. 3pm. Tel: 99-495467 Hemi-Sync sound technology of The Monroe Institute Metamusic CDs for quantum learning, deep relaxation, meditation, workshops.

Contact Linda Leblanc, accredited Outreach Trainer of The Monroe Institute.

Tel: 26-621272/ psygnos@spidernet. com.cy Reiki Training Philip Westwood, Reiki Master/Teacher is now taking bookings for Reiki 1 & Reiki 2 training courses.Tel: 99-407526/26271640 or email philipreiki@cytanet. com.cy Polis Charity Bookshop, Crafts and More Now open six days a week. Monday- Saturday, 10am- 1pm. Large stock of books, videos, talking books, jigsaws and greeting cards. Proceeds donated to local charities. Goods in first rate condition always needed. Arch. Makarios Avenue, Polis Chrysochous. Tel: 99-867511 Mums ‘n’ Toddlers Group Mums, Tots & Babies - Join us for a fun filled morning of Music & Movement, Story time, Arts & Crafts, Free Play, snack & coffee time etc. Spacious garden at our new location in Chloraka. Five groups per week offered. Also ongoing sale of nearly new clothing (1Euro per item) raising funds for local charities. Tel: 99-867662.

First Time Mums’ Club Come and join us for a cup of tea. Bring baby with you and meet other mums and get tips, ideas and advice on caring for your little infant. Weekly meetings where topics include breastfeeding, bottle feeding, sleeping tips for baby and mom, milestones, what works and lots more. Thurs 10-12. Cholorakas. Tel: 96-429659 Apollo Branch of the Royal Air Forces Association Meeting on the third Thursday of every month. UKCA Clubhouse, Tombs of the Kings Road. 7pm. Tel: 26-991615 Basic Dog Training and Grooming Fridays. 3pm. Kallepia. Tel: 26-643079/99105557

Famagusta district Tours around Ayia Napa Ayia Napa and the Sea: a different dimension. Mondays in English and German; Fridays in English and Swedish, 10am from CTO office. Tel: 23-721796 Folk Art Workshop Art workshop for children. Cultural Centre of Famagusta, Evagorou 35, Dherynia.

Tel: 23-721140 Bingo and Games Every Tuesday night. Quiz, bingo and games every Thursday night. Party night every Saturday. Woody’s Inn, Protaras.

Tel: 23-831690 Charity Boot Sale Every Tuesday morning. Woody’s Inn, Protaras. 10am-12pm. Tel: 23-831690 Open Air Market Every Wednesday. St Thekla Beach restaurant, Ayia Thekla, 500m from the church. 9am-4pm. Tel: 23-743778

SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

FASHION 21

Prize bloo blooms

With the 100th anniversary of the Chelsea Flower Show held this week, it’s time to invest in a little floral fantasy. EMMA MCCARTHY offers her pick of the bunch

Rose Having made an all-too-frequent appearance at every wedding, christening and frock-required do under the sun, the once glossy veneer of the Valentine’s bloom has become so over-lacquered that it can be left looking a tad cheap. Keep it contemporary, not chintzy, with the help of fashion-meets-art label Mother of Pearl. Founded by Maia Norman, the ex-wife of Damien Hirst, the house’s Resort collection has taken the graphic floral print from young Brit artist Gary Hume and splashed it across boxy peplum blouses, quilted shorts and silk culottes (right, top). A rose by any other name defi nitely isn’t this sweet.

Daisy Of all the garden flora, the hum-

ble daisy is probably the most overlooked. So it seems fitting that the prize for the best of the daisy print bunch should go to Nike. While we may take the sprinkling of little white lawn flowers for granted, there’s no substitute in our wardrobes for Nike’s springy air bubble cushioning underfoot. This month, the sportswear hero welcomes the iconic daisy-speckled Liberty print (top) into the repertoire of its custom-made ID Studio. It’s less of the “common” from now on.

low tulip print tea dress, laced with panels of python skin and teamed with a matching cashmere cardigan (above, far right).

And if it can stand out among 31 other show-stopping dresses, it’s certainly worthy of a rosette in our lineup.

Tulip

Orchid

At Bottega Veneta’s spring/summer catwalk show, wave after wave of classic and beautifully cut silk dresses sashayed down the catwalk. But the star of the show for many a fashion editor sat on the front row was a lemon yel-

Despite its discouraging reputation for being near impossible to keep alive, Whistles has demonstrated that the orchid is, in fact, remarkably easy to wear (above). With unstructured shift dresses, jersey bomber

jackets k t and d thi this oriental-style i t l t l bl blouse featuring in this season’s offering, the mid-market brand seems to be preparing to give Chelsea Flower Show itself a run for its money this year.

Hydrangea While the hydrangea may have its roots in southern and eastern Asia, it is the French who have been busy cultivating it for the sake of our wardrobes. This season, Comptoir des Cotonniers has teamed up with Parisian rising star CALLA to create a capsule collection of casualwear separates decked out with the ornamental blooms in pretty pastel shades (main pic). This crisp lilac shirt dress is at st. the top of our wishlist.

The rise of the increasingly fashionable mini-mes

By Karen Dacre Childrenswear departments are fascinating. At least, they are for me: a childless, moderately broody thirtysomething who fi nds browsing the tinypeople section of H&M enlightening. As an educational tool, looking at kids’ clothes is right up there with TV show One Born Every Minute. There are lessons to be learned, shocking discoveries to be made and pearls of wisdom to be mentally noted for future occasions.

Designs from Monster’s Baby

May 26, 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

Today kids are spoilt for choice. Statistics confirm that childrenswear is booming. Last year, a Key Note study estimated the UK childrenswear market to be worth approximately £6 billion and forecast that the global market will reach £117 billion by 2014 and a hefty proportion of these sales must also be credited to the interest in kids’ fashion.

Certainly, the shops are awash with choice for all sorts of personalities. And crucially,

for all sorts of bank balances.

“Parents now have the freedom and choice to be more adventurous with their childrenswear purchases in today’s current market ,” confirms Alex Theophanous, founder and CEO of online childrenswear retailer AlexandAlexa.com, who was behind the first Global Kids’ Fashion Week in London earlier this year. “There’s so much more variety, availability and style.”

A host of mini-me designer spin-offs can also be found at

the designer end of the spectrum. Fashion mums Stella McCartney and Roksanda Ilincic have both added beautiful childrenswear lines to their eponymous labels in recent years. A favourite of Harper Beckham, Ilincic offers fans of her growny up dresses the chance to buy them for their children in pinty sized form, while McCartney does stupidly cute bunnyprint T-shirts, pyjamas and dresses which regularly delight mums with money to burn.

Geometric shift-dress by Roksanda Ilincic

22 BEAUTY Klossy: the sideswept look

Fringe festival Whether you get the flapper or the spider, the only accessory you need to update your look this season is bangs.

ELEANOR BUSBY previews the new styles

The spider

W

omen have gone mad for fringe benefits, lopping off their ends in abundance. Blame Michelle Obama - whose heavy “thatch” style has caused a wave of copycat 1970sinspired fringes the globe over, or model Karlie Kloss - whose sweet, side swept fringe is now a fashion must - or even TV presenter Claudia Winkleman - whose signature blunt bangs are, apparently, the hair equivalent of Marmite.

“The fringe is a great way to refresh someone’s look and at the moment, with the likes Claudia Winkleman and Alexa Chung rocking full fringes, they are in vogue again,” explains stylists Josh Wood.

“I think bangs are the new blow dry,” he adds.

Indeed, while a fringe can add edge to your style they are also fl attering to women of all ages and hair types. Luckily, there are a variety of different styles looking to be big this season... which just leaves the question: which one is for you?

1. The Spider-fringe As spotted on Alexa Chung at the Coachella festival, the versatility of this cut has made it popular

The flapper

with many, especially as it requires little maintenance. To get this style, ask your stylist for a long, shattered fringe that has enough length to be parted, slightly, in the middle - so that just a peek of your forehead peeps through. While, depending y with texture, it on whether you play can look grungy, Kate Middleton’s hows it can also more sleek take shows look chic. Good forr all face shapes ant less of a and those who want “high risk” look.

3. The side-swept fringe If you are nervous about a dramatic chop, this subtle fringe is for you. American model Karlie Kloss works this perfectly: see the current Burberry campaign as evidence. “It is good for hair with a slight natural kink or wave and looks really chic teamed with an updo,” says Greg Mendham, the senior stylist at Michaeljohn.

Indeed, this option is perfect for all face shapes, so, what are you waiting for?

2. The Micro-fringe The super short rt style o-inches barely more than two-inches in length - was fi rst spotted mer Verat the spring/summer sace shows. “Over the comger, more ing months, a longer, n of this commercial version look will become popular on d in salons,” the high street and ey, editorial predicts Tina Farey, air. To recredirector of Rush Hair. lf, if you dare, ate the look yourself, er for a short, ask your hairdresser ops just on your blunt fringe that stops eyebrows. However, if you don’t want to commit to such a strong style, in bang to you can use a clip-in create the illusion. Without the benefits.

The micro

Indeed, while a fringe can add edge to your style they are also flattering to women of all ages and hair types

4. The Flapper-fringe Edie Campbell recently exhibited this look on the cover of April’s Vogue - and with the Great Gatsby fi lm out, this flapper-like hairstyle is set to make a BIG comeback. It also grows out beautifully. Although this look is not for everyone, it is perfect those with delicate features. Ask your hairdresser for a 1920s style fringe - and why not go the whole hog by adding a short, flapper bob, to boot?

How the ideal celebrity would look This is how the ideal female celebrity would look, according to a new survey.

She would have Nicole Scherzinger’s eyes, Katherine Jenkins’ hair and Samantha Cameron’s nose. 1,000 men and 1,000 women were asked what they most admired about the bodies of various celebrities.

For the ideal woman, those surveyed admired the toned stomach of Olympian Jessica Ennis, singer Scherzinger’s eyes, Jenkins’ hair, and the curvy figures of Kelly Brook and Beyonce.

The ideal man would have Ryan Gosling’s smile, Brad Pitt’s rugged jawline, Daniel Craig’s eyes, plus the body of sports professionals David Beckham and Jenson Button.

The survey was commissioned by British supermarket

chain Morrisons to understand better how customers think about their health and fitness as part of the launch of its NuMe range of healthier food.

Surprise inclusions in the list were Prince Harry’s body and Samantha Cameron’s nose. The survey revealed that people are working hard on their own bodies, with 46 per cent stating they would always strive to keep improving their health and fitness, while only one in five claimed they were not currently happy with their body shape.

To help confidence, 61 per cent said starting a healthy eating regime would give an instant boost, while 27 per cent said avoiding chocolate would be the thing that made them feel better about their figures.

Some 30 per cent said going

to the gym was their quick fi x to feeling healthier, while 13 per cent said a shopping trip would have the same effect.

Nutritionist for Morrisons NuMe, Bryonie Holleart, said the findings provided a window into the ‘quick-fi x’ nature of people’s eating habits today.

She said: “While we all want to look like a celebrity, we know getting that perfect body requires hard work - both in the gym and in the kitchen.

“It’s clear too that many people will give up their best intentions, often because it’s hard to keep cooking healthy meals, maintain an expensive diet plan, all while putting in hours in on the treadmill.

“Often though, just making a few, small, simple changes to your lifestyle can have a big effect”.

Hybrid star: Nicole Scherzinger’s eyes, Katherine Jenkins’ hair and Samantha Cameron’s nose

SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

HEALTH 23 Diamond Dallas Page with US troops in Iraq

Plantoftheweek

Combination of calisthenics and rehabilitation techniques gaining in popularity reports DORENE INTERNICOLA

BY ALEXANDER MCCOWAN

Modern herbalists still favour plant well known to the ancients Name: Sea Onion (Urginea maritime) Otherwise known as: Scilla, Sea Squill

Hybrid yoga focuses on brawnier form of fitness

A

new hybrid form of yoga that blends calisthenics and rehabilitation techniques is gaining popularity across the United States with its brawnier path to fitness.

Fitness experts say DDP Yoga may lack the relaxation benefits of a more traditional yoga practice, but it can be a well-balanced and effective exercise workout.

Shirley Archer, an American Council on Exercise spokesperson, said DDP Yoga features traditional yoga postures in a non-traditional format.

“The style is oriented toward a fighter’s workout,” said the Singer Island, Florida-based fitness and wellness expert.

The programme incorporates all aspects of fitness-cardio training, muscle strength and endurance, flexibility and balance but it does not include the meditative or relaxation benefits of traditional yoga.

“If you do not include the meditative aspect of yoga,” Archer said, “the benefit of balancing the nervous system and encouraging restoration is lost.”

Professional wrestler Diamond Dallas Page said he developed DDP for people who wouldn’t be caught dead doing the traditional mindbody practice.

“At the end of 1999 I blew out my back,” said Page, a three-time World Championship Wrestling (WCW) World Champion. “My wife suggested yoga and I thought, ‘That’s for girls.’

But I tried it and was blown away by how much it helped me.”

DDP Yoga mixes traditional yoga postures with what Page calls “rehab stuff and old-school calisthenics.” In mid-class he will drop down for a set of pushups in a boot camp-like setting.

The postures are similar to those found in all yoga classes but Page jettisoned their Sanskrit names and beefed up their English equivalents.

In DDP Yoga the crescent pose,

May 26, 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

Habitat: A perennial member of the Liliaceae growing up to 1.5m in sandy or rocky soil around the Mediterranean coastline. The plant produces lance-shaped onion-like leaves emerging from a half submerged bulb which may weigh up to 2kg; the leaves die away in summer and leave a long-flowering spike of white, star-shaped flowers that produce oblong seeds. The bulb and juice are poisonous.

What does it do: The Sea Onion was well known to the ancients and is referred to by Homer and was mentioned in the cien Ebers Papyrus as an object of veneration for its ability to treat Ebe heart disease. Dioscorides employed its essence in his vinegar, hea which was used as a diuretic, while Pliny refers to its emetic whi properties. In Mediterranean countries a number of monastic pro herbals refer to a preparation made from the bulbs mixed herb with olive oil as a hair restorative (Macharas Herbal). The Arab physicians of Avicenna introduced the Sea Onion to Europe phy

Professional wrestler Diamond Dallas Page said he developed DDP for people who wouldn’t be caught dead doing the traditional mindbody practice a back-bending lunge, is re-named superstar. Mountain, or standing pose, is called touchdown and child’s pose is re-dubbed safety zone.

A warrior pose becomes road warrior and packs a martial arts punch.

“It’s a difference in tone and attitude,” said Page, who has been doing workshops across the United States and will take DDP Yoga to Scotland in June. He has also taken it to US troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Terri Lange, a 61-year-old retired nurse, practices both traditional yoga and DDP Yoga.

“I love the flexibility yoga gives me. I think that’s the fountain of youth,” said Lange, who is based in

Woodstock, Georgia.

But she said she likes DDP Yoga for the cardio punch it adds to her practice.

“Traditional yoga is quieter. DDP Yoga is shouted commands and working with force,” she said.

Archer believes if DDP Yoga attracts men who would not otherwise be active, then that is a big bonus.

“Since this programme does not have a spiritual component, it is attractive to people who may not be interested in more traditional yoga,” she said.

Lange said the different feel of DDP Yoga attracts a lot of men disinclined “to walk into a yoga studio in tights.”

“It’s an aggressive way to do this,” she said.

where preparations made from the bulb are still employed by modern herbalists.

The plant is used by herbalists to treat whooping cough, dry coughs, bronchial asthma and in cases of Oedema (excessive fluid in the tissues). William Wittering the 18th century physician, who extracted Digitalis from Foxgloves (Digitalis purpurea) to treat dropsy, also experimented with it. Extracts from the plant are to be found in modern hair preparations that claim to treat dandruff and excessive oil in the scalp.

Red Sea Onion (Urginea indica), a sister plant found in Cyprus, is a powerful rodenticide and was grown around fig trees to repel rats. In Cyprus, farmers would place the bulbs in their stored grain sacks. Recent research indicates the chemicals found in the bulb will act as an insecticide and are being employed in third world countries to combat insect predation of stored food.

A word of caution: care must be exercised when handling the bulbs as the juice can cause severe skin irritation.

mac123@cytanet.com.cy

24 BOOKS On the up: Sir Roy Strong was the right person in the right place at the right time

Deception at the heart of all we trust

By David Sexton

Perfect for the Swinging 60s

By Brian Sewell Since July 2005 I have treasured an invitation from Sir Roy Strong, “High Bailiff and Searcher of the Sanctuary”, requesting my presence at a dinner celebrating his 70th birthday. It perfectly encapsulates both the eminence that he is and the paradox of high achievement punctured by self mockery. That he should be a High Bailiff is perfectly probable for a Knight of the Realm with a house in remote Herefordshire, but Searcher of the Sanctuary has more than a faint whiff of the ridiculous about it.

Roy has never sought oblivion - to do so is not in his nature. Even when, as director of the V&A, he felt compelled to resign - a “bloody saga” not covered in his autobiography - oblivion was not in wait for him, but what, instead, might well be called a glittering career in entertaining television and the history of formal gardening.

His new book about himself reaches only as far as his appointment as director of London’s National Portrait Gallery in 1967, at the age of just 31.

This could only have happened in the Sixties. At 31 Roy was, in the nicest possible way, notorious, even legendary, as the new boy who had in less

than a quinquennium as its assistant keeper since 1963 roused the gallery from a century of torpor.

He had the advantage of not spending two years as a National Service soldier - a supposed heart ailment relieving him of a duty that would not have suited him well. There was, too, the even greater advantage of education to university entrance level at a London grammar school, with teachers sensible and sensitive, and access to galleries, museums and theatres.

At Queen Mary College he read history, a period of his life that “had to be got through. I was not only cripplingly shy but aware that sexually I was ambiguous”; but we hear no more of that.

He was also rather clever - a First in his finals, followed by a PhD at the Warburg Institute, that extraordinary grove of Mittel-Europäische Akademie that fled en bloc from Hitler, settled in South Kensington. There he worked for 10 full years on his thesis with, as his mentor, Frances Yates, a brilliant bullying monster who embodied all that is worst in ambitious women.

Meanwhile he had been to the shrine of Our Lady in Walsingham to experience “Anglo-Catholicism at its most fervent” and realise that with it he must fi ll a great void in his life -

Self-portrait as a Young Man

By Roy Strong

hence his appointment, perhaps, as the Searcher of the Sanctuary.

Historians of the ordinary may find the early chapters useful, for Roy is open about his slightly worse than Pooterish beginnings. The Grossmiths’ Charles Pooter lived in Holloway in a six-roomed (not counting the basement) semidetached villa with classical aspirations and a bootscraper, Roy in a four-and-a-half-roomed terrace house in Winchmore Hill, with neither basement nor bootscraper, jerry-built in the 1920s, the third of three sons whose hypochondriac father had “nose-dived into poverty”, and whose mother was his slave. He writes lucidly of their experience of the war, rationing and the austerity of the bleak post-war years, his education and the dawning realisation that for the price of a bus ticket into central London, unfathomable wells of culture waited.

Pooter was a smug nobody who went nowhere. Roy says of himself that he was “a young man from nowhere who went somewhere”. Indeed he did - and we are all the richer for it - but he was “the right person in the right place at the right time”. The Fifties would have been too soon, the Seventies too late; the Swinging Sixties were just right for him.

John le Carré may ultimately be remembered as the great novelist of Cold War espionage but he has now published as many novels since the fall of the Wall as before it. A Delicate Truth is less politically engaged than his other latest works, more intricately involved with le Carré’s permanent subject: how can a good man caught up in a web of deceit extricate himself?

In Gibraltar, in 2008, a mid-ranking Foreign Office civil servant in his fifties, codenamed “Paul”, having been directly instructed by a bullying New Labour junior minister called Fergus Quinn, acts as an observer in a secret mission, codenamed Operation Wildlife, conducted by British soldiers and American mercenaries, to kidnap an arms supplier to jihadist terrorists. Or so the poor dupe thinks.

Then we go back a few months to meet Toby Bell, 31, a Foreign Office official in the private office of Quinn and le Carré’s hero. Toby is a straight arrow.

At this moment, Toby is contemplating illicitly tape-recording a meeting his minister is about to hold, setting up Operation Wildlife, because he no longer trusts him. Then we move on to 2011. The rest of the novel shows Toby trying to get to the truth of Operation Wildlife on behalf of the duped innocent “Paul” at the cost of his own career and perhaps his life. To help him, this being another le Carré romance, there’s adorable Emily, a doctor in an East End hospital.

So le Carré takes us back to his favourite scenarios: Whitehall, the secret services, the gentleman’s clubs, dodgy bankers, corrupt public schoolboys and gruesome American neocons. Despite the revolting portrait of Quinn, “marooned Blairite of the new Gordon Brown era”, A Delicate Truth lacks the political propagandising of some of his later books. Rather, this is a late novel revelling once more in that imaginary world of secrets and lies that is le Carré’s gift to us. Mannered, to be sure, but stylishly so.

Blasted love lives and a family adrift in bedlam

PAPERBACKS

By Ian Thomson

By William Leith Higher Gossip

Come to the Edge

By John Updike

By Joanna Kavenna

Every few years, since the mid 1960s, John Updike’s readers looked forward to a special treat - his prose collections. Then he died in 2009. But here’s a final, posthumous volume. Unlike many, he didn’t lose it as he got older - the work here is sharp and engaging.

He’s excellent on other writers. He writes about Einstein, dinosaurs, Mars and golf.

There’s a lovely poem about looking at a Vermeer, and seeing it again, 16 years later; it is still the same, but he has gone grey.

The narrator of this novel has a tone of voice that grabs you straight away.

She tells you about a terrible event and how it came to be. You feel sorry for her. But she’s feisty and doggedly vital. She was in a suburban marriage trying, in vain, to have a baby. Then her husband finds a younger woman. So she runs off. Goes to live in a freezing tumbledown farmhouse. With a woman called Cassandra, who hates sanitation, the modern world in general and bankers, whose property she wants to burn down. Fiercely readable.

Patrick McGrath, notoriously, grew up in Berkshire in the grounds of a mental hospital.

His father was the medical director of Broadmoor highsecurity prison where, at that time in the 1950s, electro-shock therapy was combined hopefully with remedial basketweaving. McGrath’s reputation as a writer rests on a series of novels (Asylum, Trauma) which, for their dark mockery and themes of mental disarray, may reflect those far-off Broadmoor days.

Constance, his eighth novel, is set in New York in 1963, and predictably dilates on issues of bedlam and family dissipation. Constance Schuyler is oppressed by the shadow of past failures and past sorrows. Her

life has not been easy (her father may or may not have committed suicide) and now she is in great distress. In fl ight from reality, she lives a lonesome life in Manhattan, prim by nature and rather aloof.

At a party she meets a much older man, Professor Sidney Klein, who is mourning the failure of his second marriage.

On the lookout for love, Klein appears to find it in Constance, who is confessedly looking for a father figure. McGrath explores the corrosive sibling rivalry between Constance and younger sister Iris. In her sordid digs, Iris lives on scrimpy pittances from her work as a nightclub hostess. She drinks to excess and sees a holiness in going down the drain.

Constance, for her part, is

haunted by an unhappy childhood memory that her father Morgan loved Iris, but not her. The plot darkens with the weight of revelation on revelation. Morgan may not be Constance’s real “Daddy” after all, but an impostor figure. Can it be?

Iris, floridly drunk, wonders why Constance should think of her elderly husband as Daddy.

During their increasingly unhappy bouts of sex, Constance even insists Professor Klein address her as Iris. Confused?

(Freud would have a field day.)

With its pages of flamboyant morbidity and Dürer like imagination, the novel threatens at times to be frightful in quite another sense of the word.

Rarely have love lives appeared so blasted and plain disturbed.

SUNDAY MAIL • May 26, 2013

25 Curiosity seeker: Monty Don in La Louve, Nicole de Vésian’s minimalist gem of a garden in Provence

Horoscope

The Road to Le Tholonet: A French Garden Journey

BY SALLY BROMPTON

ARIES With the Sun at odds with sensitive Neptune your imagination could play tricks on you making you believe certain things in your life are going wrong when, in fact, they’ve March 21 - April 20 never gone better. You cannot get rid of your fears but you can do the next best thing: ignore them.

By Monty Don

TAURUS Life doesn’t have to be so competitive; it doesn’t have to have as many losers as winners. In fact, with a little bit of thought, and not a lot of effort, you can easily arrange things so everyone wins this week. They may not win much April 21 - May 21 but it’s better than winner-takes-all.

GEMINI

Abroad in a gardener’s other world

S

ince Monty Don returned to Gardeners’ World in 2011, it’s been the only television programme all sensible people take care, in season, never to miss. He is simply the most likable of all presenters - even without the assistance of his adorable retriever, Nigel. Moreover, fi lming most of his contributions in his own garden at Long Meadow in Herefordshire gives the whole show a rootedness and authenticity it sorely lacked.

His travels abroad in Monty Don’s Italian Gardens and Monty Don’s French Gardens, while highly enjoyable armchair tours of places you may never see for yourself, were a bit less satisfying, since he necessarily appeared in them as a short-term visitor - you might even say a tourist - rather than as a hands-on gardener. But The Road to Le Tholonet turns out to be much more than a book of the series (as such it is pretty dimly illustrated, in fact) - it’s a fully written, almost confessional memoir about his own experiences of travelling in France and learning to appreciate the special qualities of French culture in every way, as well as through the medium that means most to him, gardens.

The book is engaging, informative and often surprisingly critical, not to say grumpy. It’s also remarkably partial geographically - heading down through Paris to Provence, he misses out on the whole of South-West France, his loss. He explains at the outset that, as well as simple pride in being French, there are two important aspects of the

Monty Don’s sometimes grumpy travels through France are more poignant and valuable than any mere travelogue or garden guide says DAVID SEXTON French character expressed through their gardens. “The first is the inherent and learnt respect for, and adherence to, prescribed form… The essentials of rhythm, balance, geometric symmetry and harmony are still seen as the starting points for any garden design and not just because they make for beautiful gardens but also because they are in harmony with the essential ingredients of an ordered, harmonious culture and society.” They never just fl ing it together and hope for the best.

The second is that French gardens issue from a love of intellectual debate and conceptualising, whereas British gardening is much more about tending plants yourself.

Monty Don’s business here is not so much that common gardening culture as the great set-pieces. So he visits Versailles, the Palais Royal and the Tuileries, Vaux-le-Vicomte (“the masterpiece that defi nes French formal gardening”), Villandry, Malmaison

and Chenonceau. To these he adds curiosities such as the Hermès roof garden above the shop in rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré and Le Château du Gros Chesnay, where the vegetables served in the luxurious Parisian restaurant L’Arpège are grown, as well as influential modern gardens such as the formally designed but meadow-planted Le Jardin Plume in Normandy and Nicole de Vésian’s minimalist gem, La Louve, in Provence.

Always his response is personal, the tone nostalgic, prone to disappointment as well as appreciation. He fi rst went to Provence in 1973 when he was 18 and returned a year later for a longer stay, and then kept coming back.

Thus he enjoyed the decades in which travel became cheaper and easier but before such accessibility had “sowed the seeds of much destruction” in the form of mass tourism. Throughout the book, he grumbles about the contemporary degradations he encounters en route - terrible meals, capsule hotels and badly dressed, red-faced British people in Bergerac airport. He does not seem to enjoy displacement per se much any more; he is feeling his age.

Yet this very sense of vulnerability to change also informs his responses to the gardens he visits, and his sensitivity to the way they are all in one way or another an attempt at recapturing enchantment, at returning to Eden, while being necessarily transient creations themselves. It is what makes his writing here so much more poignant and valuable than any mere travelogue or garden guide.

Rare Harry Potter first edition fetches record price A unique fi rst edition of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone annotated by author JK Rowling sold this week for a record £150,000 at a London charity auction, Sotheby’s said.

The 1997 book, featuring handwritten notes, 22 original illustrations and a 43-page “second thoughts” commentary by the author, fetched the highest price to date for a printed book by Rowling, Sotheby’s said in a statement.

The auction house said the sale room fell silent on Tuesday as buyers engaged in a bidding war for the

May 26, 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

coveted book, which eventually went to an unidentified buyer bidding over the telephone.

The full sale featured 51 fi rst editions, all unique one-offs featuring annotations and commentary from authors, as part of the First Editions, Second Thoughts sale to benefit charity organisation English PEN, which promotes freedom of expression.

Other top sellers included Roald Dahl’s Matilda with new illustrations

by Quentin Blake for £30,000, Kazuo Ishiguro’s The Remains of the Day for

£18,000 Julian Barnes’ Metroland for £14,000.

The total sale fetched £439,000.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone was the first in a series of seven novels by Rowling about the adventures of a boy wizard living in a world of “muggles” and magic.

Only 500 first editions of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone exist, making them the rarest of the series, which has become the bestselling book series ever and was adapted into a multibillion-dollar fi lm franchise.

You may not be able to explain why certain things happen this week, and no doubt that will worry you, but according to the planets you have precious little to get worked up about. With the Sun in your birth sign at odds with May 22 - June 21 Neptune, planet of illusion, your best course of action is to go with the flow and not get anxious about where it takes you - especially now lucky Jupiter is moving in your favour.

CANCER Current aspects make you reluctant to take risks, and in a way that’s good as you really don’t need to. The Sun in Gemini at this time of year urges you to think deeply about your lifestyle, but it’s best not to make changes until after June 22 - July 22 Mercury enters your sign on Friday.

LEO Good news of some kind will come your way this week but be careful as it may not all be as truthful as certain people would like you to believe. If money is involved you must be extra cautious as you could easily be tricked into thinking July 23 - Aug 23 you cannot lose out, whatever the risks.

VIRGO

Aug 24 - Sep 23

Be as open as you can this week with colleagues, employers and anyone else you meet on your travels. The planets indicate that you’ll find it especially easy to impress those in authority, people who can do your ambitions a power of good if you get them on your side.

LIBRA

Sept 24 -Oct 23

Make a bit of time for yourself this week, time to sit quietly and ponder the meaning of life. Even if you have important things to do let them wait awhile. A few interludes of contemplation will remind you that the most important thing of all is not work but love.

SCORPIO If you let others get away with things they do not deserve to get away with this week you will regret it later when they start taking liberties that cause nothing but trouble. Don’t Oct 24 - Nov 22 be reckless financially either. This is not a good time to take chances with what you own or earn.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov 23 - Dec 21

The best way to deal with emotional problems this week is to ignore them. With the Sun at odds with Neptune, planet of illusion, what you think is a problem may not be much of a problem at all: you’ll only believe it is because you’ll be focusing on it so intensely.

CAPRICORN

Dec 22 - Jan 20

You could do with some rest this week but you’re unlikely to get it. The Sun in Gemini urges you to take things easy but other aspects indicate you’ll feel obliged to push yourself hard to get certain chores out of the way before the weekend. The choice is yours.

AQUARIUS

Jan 21 - Feb 19

Your passion will know no bounds this week but it will be a special kind of passion, a passion that is as soft and sensitive as it is fiery and fervent. Those who love you will love you all the more. Those who don’t may have to revise their feelings.

PISCES According to the planets you’ll feel somewhat vulnerable this week, and although you will hide it well some will sense you are not at your best and seek to take advantage.

Feb 20 - March 20 Don’t give too much away. Knowledge is power, so the less others know about you the better.

26 MARKETPLACE

Perrier celebrates 150 years

Anti cellulite care from the hs ocean’s depths

Public goes online Public has launched its online operation (www.public-cyprus.com.cy) with 500,000 products, offering books at Amazon prices which can be delivered to your home or collected at 27 points around the island.

Unique for Cyprus is Public’s choice of 50,000 books at prices Amazon! If you buy a book from www.public-cyprus.com.cy and then find it for a lower price on amazon.co.uk, Public will give you back the difference!

The products – there are more than just books at the online store – can then be delivered to your home for what the company says are the lowest rates in Cyprus. Or pick it up at an ACS courier office for €1 or from a Public store for free.

Payment on the website can be made via credit/debit card or Paypal while larger items can be paid for in instalments.

The main concern for many women is the stubborn and persistent appearance of cellulite that gives the skin the “appearance of orange peel” mainly on the hips, thighs and buttocks. The reason it is so persistent is that new fat cells are constantly created.

To target new cells that create cellulite Biotherm biologists have created Celluli Eraser, which will prevent the creation of new fat cells for up to a month after use.

The main active ingredients of Celluli Eraser are coral algae extract and pure caffeine, which enhance the breakdown of fat, and prevent the formation of new fat storage he ap cells. Using it can visibly reduce the aper cent pearance of orange peel by 26 per in four weeks, or that’s what 50 women d. who took part in clinical trials said.

The cream is quickly absorbed, al-lowing you to dress immediately ge, after use. It has the scent of orange, lemon, the aromatic tree Litsea and mint, while the woody notes of the copahu tree relaxes the mood!

Perrier is celebrating 150 years. The ‘iconic’ brand has never lost its appeal, offering the right combination of creativity, elegance, avant-garde and a touch of madness!

So what better way to celebrate 150 years than with an unexpected yet fabulous partnership - Perrier in 2013 focuses on a unique artistic collaboration with Andy Warhol!

Bottles of Perrier are now available in collectible Pop Art packaging, a design school pioneered by Warhol. The Perrier bottle is inspired by the colours and the style of Andy Warhol.

Collectibles 33cl bottles will be available in Cyprus from June.

Protect your youthful skin with Génifique Sôleil Utilising cutting-edge knowledge of Lancôme about the harmful effects of the sun, the new Génifique Sôleil offers excellent protective efficacy creating a shield for the face and body.

Thanks to the sensual textures of products with SPF 15-50, the skin is left velvety soft and silky to the touch and coated with a shiny, golden tan.

Really enjoyable to use, Génifique Sôleil sunscre sunscreens protect skin while being invisible to tthe naked eye and leaving no traces.

They also als have a unique sunny fragrance with flooral and oriental notes.

Génifique Sôleil face creams are available with an SPF of 30 or 50 and body creams with SPF 15 or 30

SOCIETY 1

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4

2

Ice Cream Week at Colors Café until June 2 Temperatures are rising and the most cool, tasty treat, ice cream comes again to the fore. The Colors Café of Hotel Four Seasons is organising once again the Ice Cream Week. Ice cream lovers will have the opportunity this year, until June 2, to enjoy imaginative ice cream creations made with passion and mastery by Pastry Chef Dimitri Hatdiyianni and his team.

This year's Ice Cream Week is dedicated to Four Seasons, inspired by the 20th anniversary of the hotel, separating the ice-creations into winter, spring, summer and autumn flavours. The menu is enriched with new unique flavours including: red orange with biscuit and dark chocolate praline with waffle and bitter chocolate, mille-feuille and rose petals with crunchy biscuit.

1. Demetris Ioannou, Michalis Efpsichiou, Charalambos Antoniou, Stelios Tzarkezos and Demetris Hadjiyiannis 2. Pastry chef Demetris Hadjiyiannis with journalists 3. Simona, pastry chef Demetris Hadjiyiannis and Helena 4 Christos Lazanias and Marina Chrysostomou

SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

PUZZLES 27 3

9 8 3

RATING MEDIUM

SAMURAI SUDOKU

5

4

5

8

1 7 2 9 5 2 1 2 3 4 5 6 2 5 3 8 2 3 5 5 4 4 8 2 6 5 2 4 6 1 7 1 7 1 8 4 2 5 7 9 5 7 1 9 8 7 1 2 8 6 5 3 2 9 7 7 3 9 7 2 4

9 2

8 4

1 3 2 9 7 8 7 4 6 2 9 8 3 1 2 1 5 9

9 1 4

HOW TO PLAY:

The rules for Samurai Sudoku are the same as usual: fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1-9. There’s no maths involved, you solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic

KOUDUS © I

E C F

G

8 4

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4 9 7 1 2 2 3

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G D

B

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No. 46

I

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G H

D E E

C D A B

5

Place a letter from A to I in each empty cell so that each row, each column and each 3X3 box contains all the letters A to I.

1

7 8 9 8 9 6 5 6 5 3 9 5 6 9 1 5

lenloullis@hotmail.com

8 4 9 2 5 3 6 1 7

7 3 5 6 8 1 9 4 2

3 7 1 4 6 9 2 8 5

9 2 4 5 7 3 1 8 6

6 5 2 1 7 8 4 9 3

2 5 8 3 1 6 4 7 9

4 9 7 8 1 6 5 3 2

4 7 1 2 9 8 3 6 5

1 2 8 5 3 4 7 6 9

3 6 9 7 5 4 8 2 1

5 3 6 7 9 2 8 4 1

6 9 7 8 4 5 2 1 3 4 7 6 9 8 5 6 2 1 3 7 4

5 4 2 1 3 7 6 9 8 2 5 3 7 1 4 3 8 5 9 2 6

1 8 3 9 6 2 7 5 4 9 8 1 2 6 3 9 4 7 1 5 8

3 7 5 8 4 2 1 9 6

9 4 2 6 1 7 3 5 8

8 6 1 3 9 5 4 7 2

2 4 7 6 3 1 5 8 9 7 2 4 6 3 1 5 4 7 8 9 2

8 3 9 7 4 5 1 2 6 5 3 9 8 4 7 2 6 9 3 1 5

6 5 1 2 8 9 4 3 7 1 6 8 5 2 9 1 3 8 4 6 7

5 2 8 9 1 4 7 6 3

1 9 6 3 5 7 2 4 8

3 7 4 8 6 2 9 1 5

4 8 2 5 7 3 6 9 1

9 6 5 1 2 8 3 7 4

7 1 3 4 9 6 8 5 2

Koudus No. 45 I

2 5 8 9 1 3 6 7 4

1 7 6 4 5 2 9 3 8

4 6 2 3 7 5 1 8 9

7 1 3 8 9 4 2 5 6

I

C A B G H

H A G F D B D

3 9 4 7 8 6 5 2 1

C B G H E F D A

F D E

I

I

E C

F H A G E C B

A B C D E F G H

9 8 5 6 2 1 7 4 3

E G H C B

I

C F D B G H A G E

I

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D A F I

E

A F C H B D

B H A E

I

D C F G

Puzzle by websudoku.com

Whatzit?: Walk on eggs

8 1 6 4 2 9 5 3 7

ANSWERS

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTIONS

Puzzle by websudoku.com

Books of Koudus available from

DOUBLE CROSSWORD no 2398 Cryptic clues

Across

Down

1 There’s nothing loud in torch giving a sudden illuminated burst (5,2,5) 7 Hatter or collier unwell inside (8) 8 Star gave out (4) 9 Thanks attorney first giving the facts (4) 11 Put up wallpaper or streamers at the present time? (8) 12 Scattered, indefinite number of trews scattered first (6) 14 Not so much to do in class (6) 16 State having a right to join another one (8) 19 After six we come back for an opinion (4) 21 Tramped round the slope (4) 22 Confusing graduate taking two fellows onto the heather (8) 23 Leading bed-maker? (4,8)

1 Renowned football body going over the sea (5) 2 Rescue Val in trouble taken in by a wise man (7) 3 Admitted being had (5) 4 Enthusiastic about car Lily wrecked (7) 5 One with a gift of elasticity perhaps (5) 6 Upholder of acrobatic exploits (9) 10 Second crop of grass cultivated at the farm (9) 13 Beans go rotten in horse’s feed container (7) 15 Orange port in southern Spain (7) 17 A Greek (5) 18 Less chancy fare’s served up (5) 20 Bet a facetious person takes the cockney lady (5)

1

Down

1 Contemptuously (12) 7 Unaccompanied song (8) 8 Rooster (4) 9 Pierce (4) 11 Accelerate (8) 12 Pal (6) 14 Start again (6) 16 Dilapidated (8) 19 Skin disease (4) 21 Pleat (4) 22 Cheat (8) 23 All Fools’ Day (5,2,5)

1 French author (5) 2 Hard-wearing (7) 3 Elgin (anag.) (5) 4 Rock-forming mineral (7) 5 Clear-cut (5) 6 Sailor (9) 10 Deviated (6,3) 13 Down payment (7) 15 Dustpan (anag.) (5,2) 17 Horseman (5) 18 Burglar (5) 20 Enlist (5)

Answers to the crossword will appear in Tuesday’s newspaper

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21

Across

3

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Quick clues

May 26, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

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Answers to Double Crossword 2397 CRYPTIC: Across – 1 Cut-out; 4 Bodice; 7 Complete; 8 Seth; 9 Isolated case; 13 Mangle; 14 Future; 15 Get the needle; 18 Pith; 19 Braggart; 20 Campus; 21 Tunnel. Down – 1 Cacti; 2 Tempo; 3 Twentieth; 4 Bye; 5 Dismantle; 6 Cathedral; 10 Shangri-la; 11 Lightship; 12 Defendant; 16 Drain; 17 Extol; 19 Bus QUICK: Across – 1 Quebec; 4 Stripe; 7 Irritant; 8 Jerk; 9 Kleptomaniac; 13 Stereo; 14 Tedium; 15 Grey squirrel; 18 Stub; 19 Jodhpurs; 20 Advert; 21 Dither. Down – 1 Quick; 2 Eerie; 3 Clamorous; 4 Sit; 5 Rejoinder; 6 Parachute; 10 Litigated; 11 Permeable; 12 Astounded; 16 Rough; 17 Laser; 19 Jet.

28 A MINUTE WITH...

Where do you live?

modern shapes with Persian carpets but in a clean way. Large tables with an outside emphasis. Inside is just for sleeping.

George: Modern and minimal with lots of concrete and glass, in the woods.

Nikolas: I live 5 months of the year in Cape Town, then on and off two months a year in Cyprus, where my parents and family live, the remaining time is spent in London, Paris, Milan, Munich etc depending on commitments.

George: Limassol.

Nikolas Michael George Pantazis

Best childhood memory?

Nikolas: I swam for Cyprus for ten years, and my best memories are all of the trips representing Cyprus with my swimming mates who became family. Laughing was always the highlight.

George: Living in Famagusta - the sand and sea.

Nikolas: Codfather Cape Town for Sushi.

George: Kikis Kebab House. Nothing better than a mixed cyprus kebab.

If the world is ending in 24 hours what would you do?

Nikolas: I would Photograph it. Just in case.

George: Take a slow walk in the hills.

The Story of Luke

What is your greatest fear?

Nikolas: Falling George: Sharks

architect

What did you have for breakfast?

Nikolas: Coco Pops lol George: Two cups of nescafe and my smokes

Nikolas: I am defi nitely both. Perfect day out is racing a motorcycle on a track in Spain like Jerez. Night out, friends cooking in our homes and sharing that time.

George: I am a day person. Perfect day out is relaxing at the coffee places on the beach, or driving in the mountains.

Nikolas: Ayrton Senna, to feel his passion, and explain my feel as an avid Go-Karter.

George: Beethoven, so I can understand how someone could be such a genius composer.

model & photographer and

Most frequented restaurant and absolute favourite dish?

Would you class yourself as a day or night person? What’s your idea of the perfect night/day out?

If you could pick anyone at all (alive or dead) to go out for the evening with, who would it be?

tatorship in Greece of that era and the courage of the man described in the book.

rocco has always made me excited.

That’s in the future for sure. Otherwise Prague is my favourite.

Favourite film of all time?

What music are you listening to in the car at the moment?

Nikolas: Good Will Hunting - the emotion between Matt Damon and Robin Williams. I cried so hard!

George: Schindlers List. The depths of what we are capable of in a bad way, as human beings. It still shocks me.

Best book ever read?

Favourite holiday destination?

What’s your dream trip?

Nikolas: Tuesdays with Morrie.

I liked the depth of truth, and it sparked something deep inside me.

George: A Man Oriana Falatsi. I liked the naked truth about the dic-

Nikolas: Namibia not really a holiday destination, but for my passion of nature at its wildest, including the photogenic nature.

George: Since a child the word Mo-

Nikolas: Newton Faulkner, Hand Built By Robots George: Unheilig and Nena

What is always in your fridge??

Nikolas: Nada George: Ice Cream

Dream house: rural retreat or urban dwelling?

Where would it be, what would it be like?

Nikolas: Rural for sure, rustic, a little eccentric like

Why the need for speed? Ayrton Senna.

Above: Nikolas (left) and George

9.251 km2 Photographic exhibition accompanied by book dedicated to the natural beauty of Cyprus

by Nikolas Michael and Giorgos Pantazis. Opens May 30, 8pm until June 5. Studio Ermou 300 June 12-13: Municipal Cultural Centre Panos Solomonidis, Limassol. 8pm

DINNER FOR TWO AT BOHO CHIC TAPAS BAR N WI Answer: ........................... .................

COMPETITION

............................................................

Andreas Drousioti Heroes Sqare 3040 Limassol tel 99248772 -25364218 info@bohochictapas.com www.bohochictapas.com

Name: ................................................ ............................................................

Address: ............................................. ............................................................

Telephone: .........................................

Email: ................................................

Answers must reach us by June 10th .The winner will be announced on June 16th.

Send replies to: PO Box 21144, Fax: 22 676385.

Email: competition@cyprus-mail.com (answers by email must be accompanied by full address and contact numbers) (Winners will be notified by telephone)

To win, answer the following question: Question: Where is Boho Chic Tapas Bar?

We give our Customers a Passionate Food Experience, full of Homemade Recipes, Freshly & Carefully selected ingredients, in an Atmosphere that will relax you and let you enjoy and satisfy your Tastes. A place full of memories, in front of a huge square, surrounded by areas of great cultural interest.Boho Chic is contemporary modern and traditional. It’s where time brings us to our origins and to the essence of that time accompanied with a simple, modern touch from our particular style.A place where art and passion will head in the same way... Boho Chic Tapas Bar - "There are no small Steps to a Great Meal'.' After months of Preparation, Boho Chic Tapas Bar is ready to welcome you to an extraordinary trip.

SUNDAY MAIL•May 26, 2013

T V FRIDAY 31/05 May 26, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

CYBC 1 06.45 08.15

Proti Enimerosi Kali Sas Mera Early morning entertainment magazine featuring segments on cooking, fashion, lifestyle issues and more.

11.00 11.30

Kaftes Piperies (rpt) Istories Tou Horkou (rpt) Comedy series, which is the longest-running weekly show on Cyprus television.

12.00 15.30 16.00 18.00 18.15 18.45 19.20

Apo Mera Se Mera Entehnos Mazi Sto CyBC News Kypros Ena Taxidi (rpt) Kaftes Piperies Paizoume Kypriaka

CYBC 2 08.00 16.30 17.00

News Patates 8 Local satirical show, using comedy sketches and embarrassing TV clips to skewer local politicians.

22.00

18.00 18.50 19.00 19.10 20.00 21.00

22.30

00.15

Biz/Emeis News In English News In Turkish Album show NRG Zone Ce Jour Là, Tout A Changé

23.30

07.50 08.40 09.30 10.25 11.15 12.10 13.00 13.20 14.00 14.50 15.45

Top Gear (rpt) Fourteenth season.

Episode 1: The trio test-drive an Aston Martin DBS Convertible, a Ferrari California and a Lamborghini Gallardo Convertible through Romania, searching for the mountain highway built during the reign of the country’s former dictator Nicolae Ceausescu - allegedly the best road to drive on in the world. Actor Eric Bana is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.

FILM: Beverly Hills Cop II

News Diktiotheite Kai Exelihtheite Repeats

07.00

A reenactment of some of the most crucial historical episodes in French history such as king Louis XVI’s failed attempt to escape revolutionary Paris.

Historical mini-series, starring Antoine Gouy.

A wisecracking lawman spreads his customary chaos as he returns to Los Angeles to investigate violent robberies. Comedy adventure sequel, starring Eddie Murphy.

1987.

23.40 00.00

Kids’ TV Euromaxx Kati Psinetai (rpt) Contestants try to outdo each other by throwing the perfect dinner party, which is then judged on its merits by their rivals, with the winner securing a 1,000-euro prize.

Local game show.

20.00 21.15

ANTENNA

Repeats

16.40 17.30 17.40 18.40 19.30 20.15 21.25 21.30

MEGA

Ellas To Magaleio Sou (rpt) Dis Madiam (rpt) Fila To Vatraho Sou Karma (rpt) Pansellinos (rpt) Tis Agapis Mahairia (rpt) Niose Me (rpt) News Mera Mesimeri (rpt) Konstantinou Kai Elenis (rpt) Tha Vreis To Daskalo Sou (rpt) Vals Me 12 Theous (rpt) Tin Patisa (rpt) Lefta Sto Lepto Yia Tin Agapi Sou (rpt)

01.40 02.30 03.20 04.40

07.00 08.00 08.10

Kai Oi Tesseris Itan Iperohes (rpt) News (rpt) Max Adventures Master Chef (rpt) Greek competitive cooking reality show, open to amateur and home chefs.

With News at 18.00.

Klemmena Oneira (rpt) Proino Mou Enimerosi Tora Eheis Meson Yia Sena News Dr Cook Sto Para Pente News Nai, Mazi Poroume FILM: A Raisin In The Sun

Aiyia Fuxia (rpt) Niose Me News Allantopoleio Grigoriou Iroes Anamesa Mas

A black family in 1950s Chicago come into money, but their hopes that this will be an end to their troubles are soon dashed. Drama, starring Phylicia Rashad. 2008.

Greek show celebrating “ordinary heroes” who help people in need.

22.20 00.00 00.05 00.30

06.00

Laikes Paraskaves News Sport News Vradi Me Ton Petro Kostopoulo To Kleidi tou Paradeisou (rpt) To Paihnidi Tis Signomis (rpt) News (rpt) Deal (rpt

09.00 10.00 11.40 14.00 16.00 18.00 18.30 19.30 20.20 21.20 23.10

00.20 00.40

News Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles Set after the events in Terminator 2 Sarah Connor and her son John, trying to stay under-the-radar from the government as they plot to destroy the computer network Skynet in hopes of preventing Armageddon.

01.30 03.30

SIGMA 06.50 07.40 08.50

PLUS TV

Anna Paola (rpt) Spiti ap’tin Arhi (rpt) Efialtis Stin Kouzina (rpt) A Greek chef tries to turn around Greek restaurants in crisis.

09.40 10.30 11.10 12.00 15.20

Vasiliki (rpt) Mila Mou (rpt) Epta Ouranoi Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni Variety show featuring entertainment, segments on cooking, youth issues and more.

18.00 18.05 18.45

News Ti Tha Fame Simera Mama? (rpt) Anna Paola

07.20 08.30 09.00 10.00

Greek cookery show.

10.45 11.40

Mila (rpt) Ta Kopelia (rpt)

12.30 13.00 15.30 17.20

Star News Mesimeriani Meleti Kids’ TV Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Fotis - Maria Live Mila

Local comedy series.

17.50 19.40

Discussions about various issues based on a woman’s life (men, relationships, sex, kids etc.) with showbiz guests. Hosted by Tatiana Stefanidou.

Latin American telenovela.

19.40 20.20 21.15 22.20

Efta Ourani Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) News Oikogeneiakes Istories Stin Igeia Mas

21.15 22.00

04.10

News Epistrofi (rpt) Se Fonto Kokkino Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni (rpt)

23.30 00.00 00.50 01.20

07.45 08.15 10.00 11.00 11.30 12.00 12.25 13.15 14.25 15.20 15.55 16.55 17.30

21.00

News Sports Time O Anthropos Tis Thalassas FILM: Material Girls Two spoiled rich sisters develop a fresh outlook on life after they lose their friends, money and home, and try to clear the family name.

Comedy drama, with Hilary Duff. 2006.

22.50

Nistikoi Praktores (rpt) LTV Sports News Star News Repeats

FILM: Judicial Consent A judge’s life is turned upside down by the murder of her close associate, which leaves her the prime suspect.

Thriller, starring Bonnie Bedelia. 1994.

00.40

Yia Sena (rpt) Proino Mou (rpt)

Magikos Kosmos Sto Mati Tou Kiklona (rpt) Ston Asterismos Tis Imeras Kouzina Me Apopsi Kalitera En Ginetai Akti Oneiron (rpt) Milagros Kids’ TV Best Of Live@ 4 (rpt) Kalitera En Ginetai Remington Steele (rpt) Akti Oneiron Sto Mati Tou Kiklona (rpt) With News at 18.10.

19.15 19.50 20.05

Exelixeis Stin Showbiz FILM: Never Forget Accused of murder, a man who has amnesia tries to piece together the truth. Thriller, starring Lou Diamond Phillips. 2008.

Variety show with wellknown guests pretending to have a good time for benefit of You At Home

01.10 00.15 02.00 02.45

Fotis - Maria Live Best Of Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Mesimeriani Meleti Best Of Nistikoi Praktores (rpt)

CAPITAL

FILM: Against All Odds Thriller, starring Jeff Bridges. 1984.

21 Jump Street (Novacinema1, 20.00)

01:10 Love Life 02:05 The Weakest Link 02:50 EastEnders 03:20 Doctors 03:50 The World of Stonehenge 04:45 Watson & Oliver 05:15 Getting On 05:45 Little Britain 06:15 The Weakest Link 07:00 Bobinogs 07:10 Me Too! 07:30 Nina and the Neurons 07:45 The Large Family 07:55 Balamory 08:15 Bobinogs 08:25 Me Too! 08:45 Nina and the Neurons 09:00 The Large Family 09:10 Balamory 09:30 My Family 10:00 Keeping Up Appearances 10:30 The Weakest Link 11:15 EastEnders 11:45 Doctors 12:15 The World of Stonehenge 13:05 The Iceberg That Sank The Titanic 13:55 My Family 14:25 Michael Palin’s New Europe 15:15 Keeping Up Appearances 15:45 EastEnders 16:15 Doctors 16:45 The Weakest Link 17:30 The World of Stonehenge 18:25 Doctor Who 19:10 Walk on the Wild Side 19:40 Doctors 20:10 Casualty 21:00 My Family 21:30 2 Point 4 Children 22:00 Elephant Diaries Update 22:50 Lead Balloon 23:20 Watson & Oliver 23:50 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 00:35 Bedlam

07:00 Sunrise Earth 07:55 Inside West Coast Customs 08:40 Chas-

ing Classic Cars 09:30 Living With The Kombai Tribe 10:15 How The Universe Works 11:05 Deadliest Catch 11:50 How Do They Do It? 12:15 Alps From Above 13:05 Prehistoric 13:50 Cafe Racer 14:35 Ultimate Journeys 15:25 Living With The Kombai Tribe 16:10 Mythbusters 17:00 Through The Wormhole With Morgan Freeman 17:50 Invisible Worlds 8:40 Cafe Racer 19:30 Ultimate Journeys 20:20 How The Universe Works 21:10 Living With The Kombai Tribe 22:00 Through The Wormhole With Morgan Freeman 22:50 Invisible Worlds 23:40 Deadliest Catch 00:30 How The Universe Works 01:15 Mythbusters 02:05 Through The Wormhole With Morgan Freeman 02:50 Invisible Worlds 03:40 Cafe Racer 04:30 Living With The Kombai Tribe 05:20 Ultimate Journeys 06:10 How The Universe Works

09:30 Tennis: French Open Paris 10:30 Tennis French Open: Duel Of The Day 11:30 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats 12:00 Tennis: French Open Paris 22:00 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats 22:30 Strongest Man: Champions League Australia 23:30 All Sports: Gwars All Sports: Gwars 00:30 Tennis

French Open: Duel Of The Day 01:45 All Sports: Watts 02:00 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats

05:30 How I Met Your Mother 06:15 Criminal Minds 07:00 Breakout Kings 07:45 The Simpsons 08:10 Bob’s Burgers 08:35 Rules Of Engagement 09:25 How I Met Your Mother 10:15 Criminal Minds 11:00 Breakout Kings 2 11:45 The Simpsons 12:10 Bob’s Burgers 12:35 Rules Of Engagement 13:25 How I Met Your Mother 14:15 White Collar 15:00 Breakout Kings 2 15:45 The Simpsons 16:10 Bob’s Burgers 16:35 Rules Of Engagement 17:25 How I Met Your Mother 2 18:15 Criminal Minds 19:00 Breakout Kings 2 19:50 The Simpsons 15 20:15 The Cleveland Show 2 20:40 Rules Of Engagement 21:30 White Collar 23:10 Criminal Minds 23:55 American Horror Story 2: Asylum 00:40 Wilfred 01:05 The Cleveland Show 01:30 The League 3 01:55 Traffic Light 02:20 Criminal Minds 03:05 Breakout Kings 2 03:50 The Simpsons 15 04:15 The Cleveland Show 2 04:40 Dollhouse 2

07:30 Black Beauty 09:00 What

Women Want 11:15 Normal Life 13:15 Twilight 14:50 Beerfest 16:45 Stand By Me 18:15 Easy A 20:00 LTV Sports News 21:00 Step Up 3 23:00 Soul Surfer 01:00 Hustler Tv 2:35 Everything Must Go 4:15 Hollywood Buzz 04:45 All Good Things 06:30 LTV Sports News

07:00 Kids TV 17:00 2013 Fia Erc: Corse 17:30 Planet Speed 18:00 Barclays Premier League World 18:30 Nba Action 19:00 Spirit Of Wimbledon 19:30 Ironman 20:30 Espn Films 22:00 Star Mazda: Lucas Oil Raceway 23:00 La Liga Review 2012-13 00:00 La Liga Show 2012-13 00:30 Volvo Ocean Race 01:30 2012 World’s Strongest Man 02:00 Grand American Series 2012 04:00 Nba 2012-13 06:30 2012 World’s Strongest Man

07:15 PriVIleged 08:00 Friends 08:30 Alcatraz 09:15 Sons Of Anarchy V 10:25 One Tree Hill 11:15 C.S.I. New York 13:00 Closer, The V 13:45 PriVIleged 14:30 Alcatraz 15:15 Sons Of Anarchy V 16:20 2 Broke Girls 16:45 Harry’s Law Ii 17:30 Southland 18:15 C.S.I. Miami 19:00 Closer, The V 19:45 Pan Am 20:30 Friends 21:00

19:20 Young Adult 21:00 Larry Crowne 22:45 Bridesmaids 00:50 Bounce 02:40 Paradisos 04:30 Martha Marcy May Marlene

Mentalist Iv, The 22:30 Borgias 23:20 Pushing Daisies 00:05 DiVIne Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood 02:05 Heartbreaker 03:50 2 Broke Girls 04:15 Harry’s Law Ii 05:00 Southland 05:45 C.S.I. Miami 06:30 Closer, The V

Moonrise Kingdom 18:20 My Week With Marilyn 20:00 21 Jump Street 22:00 Majority 23:55 Seeking Justice 01:45 Dirty Girl 03:15 Cine News 03:50 Meeting Evil

08:15 Barbarian Princess 10:00 Skyline 11:30 Action Zone 12:00 Shutter Island 14:30 His Way 16:00 Ticking Clock 18:00 Horrible Bosses 20:00 London Boulevard 22:00 Triage 00:05 Daring!

Tv 3:35 Action Zone 04:05 W.E. 06:15 80 Minutes

05:05 The Hunting Party 06:50 Cine News 07:45 Anonymous 09:55 Pal Joey 11:50 The Muppets 13:35 Salvation Boulevard 15:15 Let’s Make Love 17:20 Action Zone 17:55 The Bourne Identity 19:55 This Must Be The Place 23:55 A Thousand Acres 01:45 Colombiana 03:35 The Devil’s Own

05:50 Cine News 06:25 The Grey 08:20 Fantastic Four 10:05 Mad On Novacinema 10:45 High Crimes 12:40 Welcome To The South 14:25 Hollywood Buzz 15:00 She’s The One 16:40

19:25 Encounter With Danger 21:00 Mi Mou Aptou 22:40 Cine News Bloody Fridays 23:00 Julia’s Eyes 01:00 Cine News 01:30 Une Fille Bonne Famille X 03:20 The Brave One

16:00 European Tour Nordea Masters LIVE 19:00 MLB: Cincinnati Reds At Cleveland Indians 22:00 Big Ten Rowing Big Ten Championship 23:00 Mobil 1 The Grid 23:30 NASCAR Camping World Truck Series Dover International Speedway LIVE

06:00 MTV Morning 12:00 MTV Daily Hits 18:00 MTV Out Loud 24:00 MTV After Hours

06:00 Philadelphia Story 07:50 Double Trouble 09:20 Rounders 10:40 Fighting 69th 12:05 Anchors Aweigh 15:00 Live A Little, Love A Little 16:30 Young Tom Edison 17:55 King’s Thief 19:15 Swan 21:00 Diner 22:55 It! 00:30 Diner 02:20 It! 03:55 Younger Brothers

By Preston Wilder

Tennis: French Open (Eurosport, from 10.30) Yes, I know Roland Garros is almost half-over - it started last Sunday, and ends on June 9 with the Men’s Singles final - but this is where it starts to get interesting, with the no-hopers mostly sent packing and the tennis elite settling down to business. Our own Marcos ‘Baggy’ Baghdatis used to be in the second category but is now increasingly in the first (albeit still ranked No. 38 in the world, at time of writing), which may be why CyBC aren’t showing the French Open this year as they did in previous years - though of course it’s also that our state channel is bankrupt, and besides some will feel there’s no point watching

hours of tennis just to see Rafael Nadal win yet again.

The beast-like Spaniard has won seven of the last eight Men’s Singles finals in Paris (by way of contrast, the last six Women’s Singles have been won by six different ladies) - an incredible record that may well be extended this year, with Djokovic looking shaky and Murray beset by injury. And Baggy? Oh Baggy...

Julia’s Eyes (Novacinema3, 23.00) Kudos to Spain: not only do they have the world’s best restaurant (used to be El Bulli, now it’s El Celler de Can Roca in Girona) and the world’s best football team, they also make (some of) the world’s best horror films, specialising in creepy thrillers like The Orphan-

Julia’s Eyes

age - and this one has the same lead actress, Belen Rueda, playing both Julia (our heroine) and her twin sister. Both sisters suffer from a degenerative sight disease (i.e. they’re slowly going blind), but Julia senses something’s wrong when her sister hangs herself in the basement of her house - an apparent suicide, but what if it was more than that? “What if she wasn’t alone? What if she was with someone?” asks Julia but who? And who (or what) is the shadowy figure that keeps flitting in and out of our heroine’s failing vision? “Part psychological thriller, part slasher horror, part whodunit,” wrote Empire magazine approvingly, albeit adding that it’s slightly too long. What’s the Spanish for ‘chills down your spine’? Made in 2010.

SundayMail Quick Change Bill Murray as clown tripped up by New York

American Reunion American Pie franchise revisited as grown-ups

Tuesday, PlusTV, 9.25pm

Thursday, NovaCinema1, 10pm

M AY 2 6 J U N E 1

The Dictator Sacha Baron Cohen as megalomaniac leader of a fictional country Sunday, NovaCinema1, 10pm

Complete guide to what’s on the small screen this week, including our selections and satellite choices

T V MONDAY 27/05 May 26, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

CYBC 1 06.45 08.15

Proti Enimerosi Kali Sas Mera Early morning entertainment magazine featuring segments on cooking, fashion, lifestyle issues and more.

11.00

Kaftes Piperies (rpt)

CYBC 2 08.00 16.30 17.00 18.00 18.50 19.00 19.10

Cookery show.

11.30

Istories Tou Horkou (rpt)

Apo Mera Se Mera Entehnos Mazi Sto CyBC News Kypros Ena Taxidi Kaftes Piperies Paizoume Kypriaka

20.00 21.00

News Vimata Stin Ammo Local period drama, based on true events.

22.00

Moiraia Fengaria Local drama series inspired by Maro Kranidioti’s book ‘Otan i Moira Apofasizei’.

22.30

23.00

Kodikos Evropi News Diktiotheite Kai Exelihtheite Series on Internet entrepreneurship.

00.00

Repeats

07.50 08.40

NRG Zone Small Nations Games

23.45

09.30 10.25 11.15 12.10 13.00 13.20 14.00 14.50

Arctic With Bruce Barry BBC nature documentary series presented

by Bruce Barry, former Royal Navy officer turned explorer, who travels around north of the Arctic Circle getting to know the native tribes and their culture.

Part 1.

Local investigative show.

23.30 23.45

06.30 06.50 07.00

Opening ceremony of this year’s Small Nations Games, a.k.a. the Games of the Small States of Europe, a.k.a. the only competition where Cyprus consistently wins medals - mainly because, although small, we’re still a bit bigger than places like Andorra and Liechtenstein, or even this year’s hosts Luxembourg.

Local game show, asking questions having to do with the Cypriot dialect.

20.00 21.15

Kids’ TV Euromaxx Kati Psinetai (rpt) Biz/Emeis News In English News In Turkish Jamie’s School Dinners Jamie Oliver takes over the kitchen of Kidbrooke School in Greenwich, hoping to re-educate the junk food-loving children by introducing a healthy diet through his Feed Me Better campaign.

Local comedy series, which happens to be the longest-running show on TV.

12.00 15.30 16.00 18.00 18.15 18.45 19.20

ANTENNA

Repeats

15.45 16.40 17.30 17.40

Proini Enimerosi Me Agapi Ellas To Magaleio Sou (rpt) Dis Madiam (rpt) Fila To Vatraho Sou (rpt) Karma (rpt) Pansellinos (rpt) Tis Agapis Mahairia (rpt) Niose Me (rpt) News Mera Mesimeri (rpt) Konstantinou Kai Elenis (rpt) Tha Vreis To Daskalo Sou (rpt) Vals Me 12 Theous (rpt) Tin Patisa (rpt) Lefta Sto Lepto Yia Tin Agapi Sou (rpt) With News at 18.00.

18.40 19.30 20.15 21.25 21.30 22.20

Aiyia Fuxia (rpt) Niose Me News Allantopoleio Grigoriou Vals Me 12 Theous Grey’s Anatomy Seventh season of US medical drama.

23.10

Spring Wipeout

MEGA 06.00 07.00 08.00 08.10 09.00 10.00

Kai Oi Tesseris Itan Iperohes (rpt) News Max Adventures Master Chef (rpt) Klemmena Oneira (rpt) Proino Mou Lifestyle programme, hosted by real-life couple Giorgos Liagas and Faye Skorda.

11.40 14.00

16.00 18.00 18.40 19.30 20.20 21.20 22.20 23.10

SIGMA 06.50 07.40 08.50

A Greek chef tries to turn around Greek restaurants in crisis.

09.40 10.30 11.10

Enimerosi Tora Eheis Meson

12.00

Local talk-show, with viewers phoning in to report instances of abuse or corruption.

15.20 18.00 18.05

Yia Sena News Anisiha Hronia Sto Para Pente News Klemmena Oneira Me Ta Pantelonia Kato The Vampire Diaries

18.45

01.00 3.00 04.30

News Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles Yia Sena (rpt) Enimerosi Tora (rpt) Proino Mou (rpt)

Vasiliki (rpt) Mila Mou (rpt) Epta Ouranoi Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni News Ti Tha Fame Simera Mama? (rpt) Anna Paola Latin American telenovela.

19.40 20.20 21.15 22.20

Efta Ourani Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) News Aspra Balonia Fones

07.20 08.30 09.00 10.00 10.45 11.40 12.30 13.00 15.30

23.10 00.15 00.20 01.00 01.45 04.10

Dekati Entoli (rpt) News Epistrofi (rpt) Se Fonto Kokkino Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni (rpt)

17.15 17.50 19.40 21.15 22.00

News Radio Arvila

22.45

01.40 02.30

To Kleidi tou Paradeisou (rpt) Late Programmes

00.15 01.10 02.00

CAPITAL 10.00 11.00 11.30 12.00 12.30 13.25 14.45 15.30 16.10 16.00 17.30

Nistikoi Praktores (rpt) LTV Sports News Star News Repeats

Ston Asterismo Tis Imeras Kouzina Me Apopsi Kallitera En Ginetai (rpt) Kallitera En Ginetai Milagros Kids’ TV Best Off Live@ 4 Kallitera En Ginetai Top Models Akti Oneiron Sto Mati tou Kyklona With News at 18.10.

19.15 19.50 20.05 21.00

News Sports Time Capital Sports FILM: American Crime An eager reporter covers the story of a serial killer who video tapes his victims before murdering them and sending the footage to his next target. Chilling crime thriller, starring Rachael Leigh Cook.

2004.

22.45

FILM: The Alibi Unsavoury characters target a reformed grifter who provides cheating spouses with the perfect cover.

Comedy starring Steve Coogan. 2006

Supernatural Sixth season. ‘The Man Who Would Be King’.

Bobby is suspicious of Castiel, while Dean refuses to doubt him.

However, when the brothers are attacked, the angel’s doublecrossing is exposed.

23.30

Live parady show.

Ayio Eihame Fotis - Maria Live Mila Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Human Target First season. ‘Run’.

Chance protects a district attorney with a mysterious past who is being pursued by mobsters because of her involvement in an investigation into organised crime.

Greek gameshow.

00.25 00.30

Fotis - Maria Live Best Of Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Mesimeriani Meleti Best Of Nistikoi Praktores (rpt) Mila (rpt) Ayio Eihame (rpt) Star News Mesimeriani Meleti Kids’ TV Martha Speaks, Casper the Friendly Ghost, King, etc.

New local show, giving a voice to young people.

First season of fantasy horror series.

00.00 00.20

Anna Paola (rpt) Spiti ap’tin Arhi (rpt) Efialtis Stin Kouzina (rpt)

PLUS TV

00.20

FILM: Down And Out In Beverly Hills A nouveau-riche couple who find a tramp trying to commit suicide in their pool make the bad mistake of taking him in. Comedy, starring Richard Dreyfuss. 1986.

Damsels in Distress (Novacinema1, 20.10)

01:15 The Green Green Grass 01:45 Lark Rise To Candleford 02:35 Watson & Oliver 03:05 The Weakest Link 03:50 After You’ve Gone 04:20 The Green Green Grass 04:50 Lark Rise To Candleford 05:45 Watson & Oliver 06:15 The Weakest Link 07:00 Penelope K, By The Way 07:10 Me Too! 07:30 Teletubbies 07:55 Balamory 08:15 Penelope K, By The Way 08:25 Me Too! 08:45 Teletubbies 09:10 Balamory 09:30 My Family 09:55 Lead Balloon 10:25 The Weakest Link 11:10 Walk on the Wild Side 11:40 Doctors 12:10 Casualty 13:00 The World of Stonehenge 13:55 My Family 14:20 Michael Palin’s New Europe 15:10 Lead Balloon 15:40 Walk on the Wild Side 16:10 Doctors 16:40 Casualty 17:30 Tribal Wives 18:20 The World of Stonehenge 19:15 EastEnders 19:40 Doctors 20:15 The Weakest Link 21:00 My Family 21:30 The Green Green Grass 22:00 Case Sensitive: The Point of Rescue 23:30 Ideal 00:00 Silent Witness 00:50 Lark Rise To Candleford

07:00 Sunrise Earth 07:55 Pyros 08:40 Rattlesnake Republic 09:30 Trashopolis 10:15 How The

Universe Works 11:05 Deadliest Catch 11:50 How Do They Do It? 12:15 Sons Of Guns 13:05 Alps From Above 13:50 Cafe Racer 14:35 Ultimate Journeys 15:25 Trashopolis 16:10 Mythbusters 17:00 Crisis Control 17:50 World’s Top 5 18:40 Cafe Racer 19:05 Cafe Racer 19:30 Ultimate Journeys 20:20 How The Universe Works 21:10 Trashopolis 22:00 Crisis Control 22:50 World’s Top 5 23:40 Deadliest Catch 00:30 How The Universe Works 01:15 Mythbusters 02:05 Crisis Control 02:50 World’s Top 5 03:40 Cafe Racer 04:30 Trashopolis 05:20 Ultimate Journeys 06:10 How The Universe Works

09:30 Motorsports: Motorsports Weekend Magazine 09:45 Tennis: French Open Paris 10:30 Cycling: Belgium 11:30 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats 12:00 Tennis: French Open Paris 22:00 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats 22:30 All Sports: Watts 22:45 Fight Sport: Total Ko 23:30 Pro Wrestling: This Week On World Wrestling Entertainment 00:00 Pro Wrestling: Vintage Collection 01:00 All Sports: Watts 01:15 Tennis French Open: Duel Of The Day 02:00 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats

05:30 How I Met Your Mother 06:15 Criminal Minds 07:00 Breakout Kings 07:45 The Simpsons 18 08:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 08:35 Rules Of Engagement 09:25 How I Met Your Mother 10:15 Criminal Minds 11:00 Breakout Kings 11:45 The Simpsons 18 12:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 12:35 Rules Of Engagement 13:25 How I Met Your Mother 14:15 Criminal Minds 8 15:00 Breakout Kings 15:45 The Simpsons 18 16:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 16:35 Rules Of Engagement 17:25 How I Met Your Mother 18:15 Criminal Minds 19:00 Breakout Kings 19:50 The Simpsons 18 20:15 Bob’s Burgers 2 20:40 Rules Of Engagement 21:30 Criminal Minds 8 22:20 Elementary 23:10 Criminal Minds 00:00 American Horror Story 2: Asylum 00:45 Criminal Minds 8 01:30 The League 3 01:55 Traffic Light 02:20 Criminal Minds 03:05 Breakout Kings 03:50 The Simpsons 18 04:15 Bob’s Burgers 2 04:40 Dollhouse 2

07:30 Road, The 09:30 Mirror Mirror 11:30 Cairo Time 13:05 Alive 15:10 Kisses 16:30 Call Of The Wild 18:00 American Flyers

20:00 LTV Sports News 21:00 Lol 23:00 Red (2010) 01:00 Hustler Tv 02:45 B-Girl 04:20 Philadelphia 06:30 LTV Sports News

07:00 Kids TV 13:40 Max Adventures 14:05 Planet Speed 14:35 Liga Bbva 2012-13 16:30 Nba Action 17:00 2013 Wtcc 17:30 2012 World’s Strongest Man 18:00 2013 Indy Car Series 22:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13 00:00 Planet Speed 00:30 Liga Bbva 2012-13 02:30 Ironman 03:30 Nba 2012-13 06:00 Grand American Series 2012

07:15 Friends 07:45 Mentalist Iv, The 09:30 2 Broke Girls 10:00 Harry’s Law Ii 10:50 Southland 11:35 C.S.I. Miami 12:30 Pan Am 13:15 Closer, The V 14:00 Mentalist Iv, The 15:30 2 Broke Girls 16:00 Two And A Half Men

16:30 Harry’s Law Ii 17:20 Ncis: Los Angeles 19:00 Closer, The V 19:45 One Tree Hill 20:30 Two And A Half Men 21:00 C.S.I. New York 22:30 Strike Back I 23:20 Pushing Daisies 00:05 Greenberg 02:00 Kings Of Mykonos, The 03:45 Two And A Half Men 04:10 Harry’s Law Ii 05:00 Ncis: Los Angeles 06:30 Closer, The V

07:00 My Afternoons With Margueritte 08:30 Fifth Patient 10:00 Youth In Revolt 11:30 Hot Tub Time Machine 13:15 Arthur 3: The War Of The Two Worlds 15:00 There’s Something Wrong With Aunt Diane 17:00 Dummy 18:30 Overnight Delivery 20:00 Soul Surfer 22:00 I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell 00:05 Daring!

Tv 04:05 Greetings From The Shore 06:15 The Neverending Story: The Next Chapter

06:10 Cine News 06:30 Shallow Hal 08:25 Chalet Girl 10:00 Hollywood Buzz 10:35 Intolerable Cruelty 12:15 John Carter 14:25 Films And Stars 15:00 From Prada To Nada 16:45 Sister 18:25 O Annivas Pro Ton Pilon 20:10 Damsels In Distress 22:00 Salmon Fishing In The Yemen 23:55 Le Prenom 01:50 In Darkness 04:10 30 Minutes Or Less

05:55 Green Card 07:40 Cine News 08:10 Xafnikos Erotas 09:45 Fame 12:00 Fovou Tous Ellines 15:25 The Client 17:30 Kingdom Of Heaven 19:55 Crazy, Stupid, Love 21:50 Films And Stars At The Festival Cannes 2013 22:00 Outrage 01:35 A Happy Event 03:25 Cine News 04:00 O Orgasmos Tis Ageladas

19:00 Crimson Tide 21:00 Five Minarets In New York 23:00 Ncis 23:50 Cine News 01:00 Initiation De Claire Castel

19:15 Johnny English Reborn 21:00 Management

15:30 Big Ten Rowing Big Ten Championship 16:30 Cbig 12 Baseball Championship - Teams TBA 19:30 Australian V8 Supercars Texas 400, Circuit Of The Americas, Austin Texas 22:30 MLB: Texas Rangers At Arizona Diamondbacks LIVE 01:30 Big Ten Rowing Big Ten Championship 02:30 NHL: Playoffs Date & Time Tentative LIVE

06:00 MTV Morning 12:00 MTV Daily Hits 18:00 MTV Out Loud 24:00 MTV After Hours

06:00 TCM Presents Under the Influence: Edward Norton 06:30 Guns For San Sebastian 08:20 Rhapsody 10:15 Doctor Zhivago 13:20 Casablanca 15:00 Jailhouse Rock 16:35 Gone With the Wind 20:10 Ride Him, Cowboy 21:00 Cheyenne Autumn 23:30 Year of Living Dangerously 01:20 Cheyenne Autumn 03:50 Year of Living Dangerously

By Preston Wilder

LOL (LTV, 21.00) OMG! WTF? LMFAO! I’m forever grateful to the friend who referred to Miley Cyrus as ‘Smiley Virus’ - but she’s not even smiley anymore, going through the various stages of high-school heartbreak in this feeble teen movie. “My name is Lola, but everyone calls me Lol,” explains our heroine - and even parents know that LOL means ‘laughing out loud’ in Netspeak but Lola loses her laugh when her heart is broken, only for best friend Kyle (Douglas Booth, another of those young British actors with impressive cheekbones) to reveal his true feelings. “Status can change but true love remains the same,” babbles the trailer, the passing reference to Facebook being typical of a film that

tries to be ‘down with the kids’ but mostly fails miserably (“This trailer gave me cancer,” quips an undoubtedly young person on YouTube). Also with Demi Moore as Mum, who happens to read her daughter’s online journal and “realises just how wide their communication gap has grown”. SMH! Made in 2012.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen (Novacinema1, 22.00) The title sounds like a metaphor, or perhaps a euphemism - wanna come back to my place for some salmon fishing in the Yemen, babe? - but it’s all too literal, with Ewan McGregor as a dour Scottish fisheries expert approached by a Yemeni sheikh who wants

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

to bring you-know-what to his arid desert nation.

‘Salmon fishing in the Yemen? Ridiculous!’ says Ewan dourly - but the Prime Minister’s press secretary (Kristin Scott Thomas) is desperate for a fluffy feelgood story from the Middle East, so she orders Ewan to go ahead with the project. Speaking of fluffy and feelgood (with ‘ethnic’ overtones) reminds us of Slumdog Millionaire, and this pleasant British movie is cut from the same cloth - and written by the same screenwriter - though it wasn’t as big a hit; Amr Waked is the visionary sheikh who hopes salmon fishing will inspire his people (how? why?), Emily Blunt the sparky consultant who brings a touch of rom-com to our humourless hero. Blandly enjoyable; made in 2011.

T V SATURDAY 01/0 6 SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

CYBC 1 07.30

FILM: Long Day’s Journey Into Night A young writer comes home to his dysfunctional family, only to find they’ve all become hopelessly selfdestructive. Powerful drama, based on the Eugene O’Neill play, starring Katharine Hepburn. 1962

10.30

Paizoume Kypriaka

CYBC 2 07.00 08.00

14.00 14.30

16.10 17.00

16.30

Vimata Stin Ammo (rpt) Two episodes of local period drama, based on true events.

18.00 18.15

News Patates Antinahtes (rpt) Local satirical show, using comedy sketches and embarrassing TV clips.

19.00 19.30 20.00 21.15

23.30 23.45

Album Show FILM: Copacabana Struggling theatrical agent with only one client persuades her to adopt dual identities so he can charge a nightclub for providing two acts. Feeble comedy, starring Groucho Marx and Carmen Miranda.

1947

Edoxe Ti Vouli Kai To Dimo News Me Kali Parea Vivian Kanari hosts new show featuring a mix of news, information and live music.

NRG Zone Kids’ TV Bob the Builder, Pinky and the Brain, Chowder, A Pup Named Scooby Doo, Animaniacs and so on. Shown till 12.30, then repeated till midafternoon.

Local game show, asking questions on Cypriot dialect.

13.00

ANTENNA

18.30 18.50 19.00 19.10 20.30

Futuris News In English News In Turkish NRG Zone Weekend Rhythmic Gymnastics European Championship Live from Vienna.

22.30

Variety show, with wellknown guests pretending to have a good time for the benefit of You At Home.

23.15 00.00

News Repeats

00.15

07.20 07.50 08.40 09.30 09.40 10.30 11.20 12.10 13.50 16.50 17.40

Album Show News in English and Turkish (rpt) Euronews

Proini Enimerosi Oi Detective (rpt) To Pio Glyko Mou Psema (rpt) Men Kai Den (rpt) Deixe Mou Ton Filo Sou (rpt) Ela N’ Agapithoume (rpt) Max adventures Santa Yiolanta (rpt) Poso Glyka Me Skotoneis (rpt) Ta Mahairomata (rpt) Laikes Paraskeves (rpt) Your Face Sounds Familiar (rpt) To Kafe Tis Haras (rpt) Niose Me (rpt)

07.00 09.40 09.50 10.20 11.00 12.00

18.40 20.20 21.20

12.40 15.00

23.00

17.00

00.45 00.50 01.00 01.40 02.40 03.50 04.40

Me Ta Pantelonia Kato (rpt) News Anonymous FILM: Striking Distance A troubled river-patrol cop goes after the serial killer who murdered his father and escaped justice. Thriller, starring Bruce Willis. 1993

00.20 00.30

News Sports News Vradi Me Ton Petro Kotsopoulo Lefkos Oikos (rpt) Oi Dromoi Tis Polis (rpt) News Late Programmes

06.40 07.15 08.20 09.15 10.00 14.00 15.40

News Kapse To Senario Greek edition of the improvised comedy show.

01.40 02.20 04.20 05.00

Ai Adiafthoroi (rpt) Zoi Podilato (rpt) Vourate Geitonoi (rpt) Pink Panther Show Mes Stin Kala Hara Aspra Balonia (rpt) Efta Ouranoi & Sinnefa Alites (rpt) Local drama series.

17.00

PLUS TV 07.50 12.05 13.00 13.40

19.00

14.20 16.00

Annita SoS

20.15 21.20

News Al Tsantiri News A highly successful live satirical comedy show that features Lakis Lazopoulos giving ‘his version’ of the news.

23.10

Las Vegas (rpt) Drama series focusing on a security team at a large casino.

00.25 00.30 00.45 03.50

News Istories Tou Astinomou Beka (rpt) Mes Stin Kali Hara (rpt) Annita SoS (rpt)

Mesimeriani Meleti Best Of Fotis - Maria Live Best Of

CAPITAL 10.00 10.30 12.05 13.50 15.20 16.20

17.10

Mila (rpt) Discussions about various issues based on a woman’s life (men, relationships, sex, kids etc.) with showbiz guests.

18.10

Nistikoi Praktores Greek cookery show, with Dina Nicolaou.

19.30

18.10 18.55 19.10 19.55 20.05 21.00

22.00

Exelixeis Sti Showbiz En Iordani Greek comedy series.

23.30

00.15

Greek FILM: Pantahou Paron LTV Sports News Star News Repeats

Epafi (rpt) Eheis Meson (rpt) Mia Stigmi Dio Zoes (rpt) Patir, Yios Kai Pnevma (rpt)

FILM: Jesse Stone: Night Passage An alcoholic police chief gets caught up in a domestic abuse case that leads him to a money-laundering conspiracy. Detective thriller, starring Tom Selleck. 2006.

Comedy. 1987.

01.00 01.50 02.40

Remington Steele News Pacific Blue News O Anthropos Tis Thalassas FILM: Category 6: Day Of Destruction The residents of Chicago are forced to batten down the hatches as a terrifying super-storm approaches the city. Disaster drama, starring Randy Quaid. 2004.

Greek FILM: O Theios Mou O Ninja 2 Comedy. 1987.

21.15

Kouzina Me Apopsi S’ Agapo (rpt) Telemarketing Greek FILM: Mono Yia Sena Call Of The Wild FILM: Seems Like Old Times A lawyer’s peaceful life is shattered by the return of her wild ex-husband, who leads her into the world of crime. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn and Chevy Chase. 1980.

Entertainment magazine featuring segments on cooking, health, fashion, lifestyle issues and more.

Pame Paketo (rpt) Popular talk-show that deals with human interest stories such as reuniting people, fulfilling dreams and connecting individuals who want to correct past mistakes in their lives.

Kids’ TV LTV Sports News (rpt) Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Diet Please (rpt) Local comedy series.

With News at 18.00.

Epta Thanasimes Petheres (rpt) Long-running Greek comedy series about annoying mother-inlaws. With News at 18.00.

20.20 21.20 22.40

An evangelist is hired to boost the ratings of a shopping channel, and the idea seems to pay off - but there’s a high price to pay.

Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy. 1998

Nai, Mazi Mporoume (rpt) Mousiko Kouti Live (rpt)

SIGMA

Greek music gameshow.

19.30

Vals Me 12 Theous News Exairetika Afieromeno (rpt) FILM: Holy Man

Proino Mou (rpt) Max Adventures Mia Stigmi Dio Zoes Klemmena Oneira (rpt) Glikes Alchimies Chuck A computer geek finds himself in charge of the government’s most sensitive data.

With News at 18.00.

Lost Sixth season of increasingly bizarre drama series, following the survivors of a plane crash who are left stranded on a remote island. ‘The Last Recruit’. Alliances are made and broken as the Locke and Jack camps merge.

Ego Ki Esi Local Sketch News Savvato Ki Apovrado

06.00 06.20 06.50

MEGA

01.50

FILM: Beyond The City Limits Crime drama, starring Jennifer Esposito and Alyson Hannigan.

2001.

How Do You Know (LTV3, 20.00)

07:00 Bobinogs 07:10 Me Too 07:30 Nina & The Neurons 07:45 The Large Fily 07:55 Balory 08:15 Bobinogs 08:25 Me Too 08:45 Nina & The Neurons 09:00 The Large Fily 09:10 Balory 09:30 The Weakest Link 10:15 My Fily 11:15 Doctor Who 12:00 Doctor Who Confidential 12:15 Tribal Wives 13:052 Point 4 Children 13:35 After You’ve Gone 14:05 The Weakest Link 14:50 Walk On the Wild Side 15:20 Casualty 16:10 Eastenders 18:05 Walk On the Wild Side 18:35 Tribal Wives 19:25 The Weakest Link 20:10 Doctor Who 21:00 Being Erica 21:45 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 22:30 Ashes To Ashes 23:25 Threesome 23:45 Jam & Jerusalem 00:15 Getting On 00:45 Doctor Who

07:00 How It’s Made 07:25 Chop Shop 08:15 Fifth Gear 09:10 Mega Builders 10:05 Mighty Ships 10:55 Baggage Battles 14:30 Extreme Engineering 15:25 World’s Top 5 16:20 Dirty Great Machines 17:15 Fifth Gear 18:10 Ameri-

can Chopper 19:05 Mythbusters 20:00 How It’s Made 21:00 Auction Hunters 22:00 Auction Kings 23:00 Target: Bin Laden 00:00 Norway Massacre: The Killer’s Mind 01:00 Rebuilding Japan 01:55 Auction Hunters 02:50 Auction Kings 03:50 Target: Bin Laden 04:45 Norway Massacre: The Killer’s Mind 05:40 American Chopper 06:35 How It’s Made

09:30 Tennis: French Open Paris 10:30 Tennis French Open: Duel Of The Day 11:30 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats 12:00 Tennis: French Open Paris 22:00 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats 22:30 Fight Sport: Superkombat 00:00 Fight Sport: Total Ko 00:45 Tennis French Open: Duel Of The Day 01:30 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats 02:00 Tennis: French Open Paris

05:40 Who Do You Think You Are? 06:30 Desperate Housewives 10:20 Glee 12:00 Hap-

py Endings 12:25 Don’t Trust The B...In Apartment 12:50 The Listener 14:30 Grey’s Anatomy 18:30 Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations 21:00 Once Upon A Time 21:50 Revenge 22:40 Modern Family 23:05 New Girl 23:30 Jane By Design 00:20 Bones 04:05 The Listener 2

07:30 Election 09:15 Beat The World 11:00 Carlos 13:45 Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 1 16:15 Rabbit Hole 18:00 Tourist, The 20:00 LTV Sports News 21:00 Superman Returns 23:45 I Am Slave 01:10 Hustler TV 03:00 Art Of Travel, The 04:45 Crackie 06:30 LTV Sports News

07:00 Kids TV 14:15 La Liga Review 2012-13 15:15 PBA World Championship 17:05 Liga BBVA 2012-13 19:00 NBA 2012-13 21:00 Spirit Of Yachting 21:30 Planet Speed 22:00 PBA All-Star Shootout 22:30 2013 Indy Car Series 01:00 Liga BBVA 2012-13 03:00 PGA Tour Classic Films 04:00 X-Games 16 06:30 Planet Speed

lights: XXXII: Denver v Green Bay 14:00 America’s Game: 1982 Washington Redskins 15:00 European Tour Nordea Masters Rd. 3 LIVE 18:30 NHL Conference Finals: Teams TBA Date and Time Tentative 21:00 Australian V8 Supercars Texas 400, Circuit of the Americas, Austin Texas 00:00 America’s Game: 1982 Washington Redskins

07:15 Pan Am 08:00 Friends 08:30 2 Broke Girls 09:00 Harry’s Law 10:00 Privileged 10:45 C.S.I. New York 11:45 Southland 12:30 Ncis: Los Angeles 13:15 Alcatraz 14:15 Mentalist The 15:00 Big Bang Theory The 20:00 Luck 00:40 My Soul To Take 02:30 All The King’s Men 04:45 Closer, The Bride 23:40 The Dictator 01:10 Conan The Barbarian 03:05 Cine News 03:50 Trust 08:00 King’s Speech, The 10:00 Letters To Juliet 12:00 Something’s Gotta Give 14:15 Messenger, The 16:15 Love Affair 18:10 Greenberg 20:00 How Do You Know 22:00 Sex And The City 2 00:25 Daring!

Tv 04:15 Everything Must Go 06:00 Remember Me

05:25 The Woman Who Dreamed Of A Man 07:00 The Chamber 08:50 Melancholia 11:05 Cine News 11:20 Two Mules For Sister Sara 13:15 Beginners 15:00 This Means War 16:40 Cine News 17:00 Tooth Fairy 2 18:35 Happythankyoumoreplease 20:20 Man At Sea 22:00 The Decoy

05:25 Hemingway & Gellhorn 08:00 A Perfect World 10:20 Flicka 3: Best Friends 11:55 Operation Petticoat 13:55 Inspector Gadget 15:15 Pay It Forward 17:25 Mad On Novacinema 18:05 Intouchables 20:05 The Women On The 6th Floor 22:00 Johnny English Reborn 23:45 A Gang Story 01:30 Unfaithful 03:35 Born On The Fourth Of July

05:25 Apollo 18 06:55 Retreat 08:25 Cine News 08:45 Larisa Empisteftiko 10:20 Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes 12:05 The New Protocol 13:40 Air Force

One 15:45 Dream House 19:10 The Shadow 21:00 Love To Kill 22:35 Cine News 01:00 Cine News 01:30 Adult Zone 03:10 Shame 04:50 The Big Bang

06:10 Perfect Sense 07:45 Cine News 08:10 Treasure Buddies 09:45 Absence Of Malice 11:45 First Daughter 13:35 Good Will Hunting 15:45 The Girl Next Door 17:35 A Little Bit Of Heaven 19:25 Five 21:00 Flicka 3: Best Friends 22:40 Amador 00:40 Cheri 02:15 The Iron Lady 04:00 Sister

13:00 Super Bowl Highlights: XXXI: Green Bay v New England 13:30 Super Bowl High-

06:00 MTV Morning 12:00 MTV Daily Hits 18:00 MTV Out Loud 00:00 MTV After Hours

06:00 Younger Brothers, The 07:20 Live A Little, Love A Little 08:50 Young Tom Edison 10:20 Swan, The 12:05 King’s Thief, The 13:20 Light In The Piazza 15:00 Elvis on Tour 16:35 Adam’s Rib 18:15 Valley Of The Kings 19:45 Village Of The Damned 21:00 Death In Venice 23:10 Our Mother’s House 00:55 Death In Venice 03:05 Our Mother’s House 04:50 Younger Brothers, The

By Preston Wilder

Death in Venice (TCM, 21.00) TCM is confusing because there seem to be many different TCMs, all with different schedules - but they all show Death in Venice at some point, so just keep this page handy for when it turns up on your version.

The ubiquity of Death of Venice is surprising, since the film is quite controversial - a tale of paedophilia, no less, with Dirk Bogarde as a middle-aged composer who becomes obsessed with a teenage boy - but it’s tastefully done and in fact downright arty, a haunting drama utilising (a) the desolate sadness of Venice in the winter, (b) the music of Mahler, especially the Adagietto from Symphony No. 5 and (c) Bogarde’s tormented face as the grief-stricken hero, dying of

pestilence as he gazes from afar at the beautiful boy (who of course becomes symbolic of Beauty in the abstract). A melancholy masterpiece, though a vocal minority of viewers tend to find it insufferably precious. Maybe so - but it’s Art, innit? Made in 1971.

The Decoy Bride (Novacinema1, 22.00) “The only thing she didn’t plan for was falling in love,” chuckles the trailer - but why do people never plan on falling in love? Don’t they know you always fall in love when there’s some deception, or mistaken identity or other mix-up? Don’t they ever watch rom-coms?

Here’s a rom-com with a rather unusual setting, a re-

The Decoy Bride

mote Scottish island full of remote Scottish people; Kelly Macdonald is the only unmarried woman on the island - and she’s pressed into service when a British author (David Tennant) wants to wed a Hollywood actress (Alice Eve) on the island, Kelly cast as a ‘decoy bride’ to distract the paparazzi. Alas, things get tricky when the fake wedding turns out to be real, forcing Kelly and David to seek a divorce while frantically dodging the press - but the only thing they didn’t plan for was ... well, you know. “This might be a good film for the family,” notes a Yank at the Internet Movie Database. “There are no swear words, no gratuitous sex or nudity, or implications of rampant immorality”. Yes, but what about the non-rampant kind? Made in 2011.

T V SUNDAY 26/05 SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

CYBC 1 07.30 10.30

Church Service Savvato Ki Apovrado (rpt) Variety show, with wellknown guests pretending to have a good time for the benefit of You At Home.

12.30

CYBC 2 08.00 14.30 17.00

14.00 14.30

Local talk-show aimed at youth.

18.00

News Me Kali Parea

19.00 19.10 19.20 20.20 21.00

Local talk-show.

16.30

Tete-A-Tete (rpt) Tasos Tryfonos interviews Greek celebrities from the showbiz world.

17.00 17.30

I Paroikia Mas Aminesthai Peri Patris Military and defence programme.

18.00 18.15

News Patates Antinahtes Local satirical show, using comedy sketches and embarrassing TV clips to skewer local politicians.

19.00

22.50

Ego Ki Esi Ama Thelei To Grafton (rpt) Part 2 of local sketch.

20.00 21.30

News Pame Paradosiaka Yet another local veriaty show.

22.30 23.30 23.45

Tete-A-Tete News Repeats

07.50 08.40

23.40 00.00

09.30 09.40 10.30 11.20 12.10

I Kypros Konta Sas (rpt) News In English News In Turkish Tete-A-Tete (rpt) NRG Zone Weekend X-Factor USA (rpt)

13.50

Two episodes.

American version of the talent contest, in which solo singers and groups compete to win a recording contract by impressing judges Simon Cowell, Nicole Scherzinger, Paula Abdul and LA Reid.

Presented by Steve Jones.

18.40 20.20 21.15

15.30 16.20 17.30

23.55 00.00 00.10 01.00 01.40

MEGA

Deixe Mou To Filo Sou (rpt) Ela N’ Agapithoume (rpt) Max Adventures Santa Yiolanta (rpt) Poso Glyka Me Skotoneis (rpt) Ta Mahairota (rpt) Exairetika Afieromeno (rpt) Tha Vreis To Daskalo Sou (rpt) Iroes Anamesa Mas To Kafe Tis Haras (rpt) Niose Me (rpt)

07.00 09.40 09.50 10.20 11.00 12.00 13.00

With News at 18.00.

16.30

Vals Me 12 Theous News Your Face Sounds Familiar Greek talent competition where a group of well known personalities take on a new identity as an iconic music performer. But the catch is they could find themselves transformed into someone older, younger or the opposite sex.

Lost Sixth and final season of sci-drama.

‘Everybody Loves Hugo’. Michael appears to Hurley and gives him a new mission, and Sayid captures Desmond and sends him to Locke. In Los Angeles, Desmond sets up a meeting between Libby and Hurley to further his assignment.

Local comedy show.

19.30

Cyprus Drift Championship 2013 More live transmission of motor racing, albeit not as glamorous as Monte Carlo. Third race of the season, live from Achna Speedway.

I Ypaithros Kypros Eva Taxidi Eimaste Edo

Kid’s TV Formula One Grand Prix Live from Monte Carlo.

Farming programme.

13.00 13.30

ANTENNA

News Sports News Oikogeneia Tis Simforas (rpt) Vradi Me Ton Petro Kostopoulo Late Programmes

14.00 15.00

A youngster uses her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress at her prison-like boarding school. Children’s fantasy comedy, with Mara Wilson. 1996.

Epta Thanasimes Petheres (rpt)

07.25 08.30 09.30

10.00 14.00 15.20 17.20 18.10 18.15

01.00

20.15 21.30

Eheis Meson (rpt) Late Programmes

23.00 23.45 23.50 00.30 04.20

PLUS TV 10.45 11.35 12.05 13.00 13.40 15.40 16.40 17.30 19.00 19.30

Las Vegas (rpt) News Istories Tou Astinomou Beka (rpt) Mes Tin Kali Hara (rpt) Magazino (rpt)

Fotis - Maria Live Best Of Exelixeis Sti Showbiz LTV Sports News Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Quiz Fun Mesimeriani Meleti Best Of Nistikoi Praktores (rpt) Mila (rpt) Exelixeis Sti Showbiz FILM: Kangaroo Jack Mobsters coerce two friends into delivering a large amount of cash to Australia - where it is stolen by a kangaroo.

Comedy, starring Jerry O’Connell . 2003.

21.00

FILM: 300 King Leonidas, the strong-willed ruler of Sparta, assembles 300 of his finest warriors and takes them into battle against the invading Persian forces.

Action adventure with eye-catching images and dodgy politics, starring Gerard Butler.

2007.

News FILM: Rocky Balboa The ageing fighter comes out of retirement to take on the current reigning heavyweight champion.

Boxing drama sequel, directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone.

2006.

FILM: Single White Female 2: The Psycho An executive acquires a crazed new flatmate who becomes dangerously obsessive and plots to kill all her other friends. Thriller sequel, starring Kristen Miller.

2005.

Barbie And The Three Musketeers (rpt) Siga Min To’ Xeres (rpt) Efta Ouranoi Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) The CooKING News Pame Paketo (rpt) Talk-show, that deals with human interest stories such as reuniting people, fulfilling dreams and connecting individuals who want to correct past mistakes in their lives

Anonymous News Mousiko Kouti - Live FILM: The Fog A coastal town enveloped in a menacing mist is haunted by the spirits of shipwrecked sailors who died 100 years before. Horror remake, starring Tom Welling. 2005.

Zoi Podilato (rpt) Vourate Geitonoi (rpt) UEFA Champions League Magazine A review of the latest matches in Europe’s premier club competition, plus a look ahead to forthcoming fixtures.

With News at 18.00.

19.00 20.20 21.30 23.30

02.20 04.20

News In English & Turkish (rpt) Euronews

Church Service Max Andventures Mia Stigmi Dio Zoes Klemmena Oneira Chuck Oi Vassiliades (rpt) Oi Kipouroi Tou Mega Piso Sto Spiti (rpt) FILM: Matilda

SIGMA

23.00

07.00 10.00 10.30 11.55 13.40 14.10 14.25 15.20 15.50

LTV Sports News News Repeats

Kids’ TV Kouzina Me Apopsi (rpt) Greek FILM: Plousioi Horis Lefta Telemarketing Kouzina Me Apopsi Kipotehnia Call Of The Wild Star Stories FILM: Stroke of Genius Bobby Jones Story of golfer Bobby Jones, who wowed the sporting world with his prowess in the 1920s, but struggled to cope with the pressures of success. Biopic, starring Jim Caviezel.

2004.

18.10 19.10 20.05 21.00

Remington Steele Pacific Blue O Anthropos Tis Thalassas FILM: Havana A gambler tempts fate by getting involved with a rebel leader’s wife in Fifties Cuba.

Romantic drama, starring Robert Redford.

1990.

23.35

FILM: Last Dance An idealistic lawyer sets about trying to save a reformed murderess from death row by presenting new evidence to the state governor. Melodrama, starring Sharon Stone.

1996.

FILM: Another Harvest Moon An old man in a nursing home contemplates suicide as his health fails. Drama, starring Ernest Borgnine. 2009.

00.30 01.15 02.05

CAPITAL

01.30

FILM: Mirror Wars: Reflections One Post-cold-war thriller, starring Aleksandr Efimov. 2005.

The Help (Novacinema1, 18.30)

01:30 As Time Goes By 02:00 Being Erica 02:45 My Family 03:15 The Weakest Link 04:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 04:45 Jam And Jerusalem 05:15 As Time Goes By 05:45 My Family 06:15 The Weakest Link 07:00 Penelope K, By The Way 07:10 Me Too! 07:30 Teletubbies 07:55 Balamory 08:15 Penelope K, By The Way 08:25 Me Too! 08:45 Teletubbies 09:10 Balamory 09:30 The Weakest Link 10:15 My Family 10:45 After You’ve Gone 11:15 Keeping Up Appearances 11:45 The Green Green Grass 12:15 2 Point 4 Children 12:50 My Family 13:20 Lead Balloon 13:50 Lark Rise To Candleford 14:45 Jam And Jerusalem 15:15 The Weakest Link 16:00 Doctors 18:25 Doctor Who 19:10 The Green Green Grass 19:40 Walk on the Wild Side 20:10 Lark Rise To Candleford 21:00 As Time Goes By 21:30 Watson & Oliver 22:00 Love Life 22:50 Waking The Dead 23:40 Spooks 00:30 Being Erica

07:00 Sunrise Earth 07:55 Through The Wormhole With

land Show 05:00 Episodes

Morgan Freeman 08:40 Meteorite Men 09:30 Extreme Engineering 11:05 How The Universe Works 11:50 How Do They Do It? 12:15 Pyros 13:05 Rattlesnake Republic 13:50 Cafe Racer 14:15 Cafe Racer 14:40 Trashopolis 16:15 Deadliest Catch 17:00 Sons Of Guns 17:50 Alps From Above 18:40 Cafe Racer 19:30 Chasing Classic Cars 20:20 Rattlesnake Republic 21:10 Alps From Above 22:00 Sons Of Guns 22:50 Alps From Above 23:40 Inside West Coast Customs 00:30 Northwest Wild 01:15 Sons Of Guns 02:05 Alps From Above 02:50 Chasing Classic Cars 04:05 Cafe Racer

Renault Monaco 00:15 Superbike: World Championship Un. Kingdom 01:45 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats 02:15 Motorsports: Motorsports Weekend Magazine

09:30 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 10:45 Car Racing: Porsche Supercup Monaco 11:30 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros 11:45 Tennis: French Open Paris 16:00 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 18:30 Tennis: French Open Paris 22:00 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats 22:30 Tennis French Open: Duel Of The Day 23:30 Motorsports: Motorsports Weekend Magazine 23:45 Car Racing: World Series By

05:30 Lost 07:20 Dollhouse 2 08:10 The Simpsons 18 09:25 Bob’s Burgers 2 10:15 Rules Of Engagement 13:35 Criminal Minds 8 14:25 White Collar 15:55 Breakout Kings 17:25 Criminal Minds 19:00 The Cleveland Show 19:25 The Simpsons 19:50 Beauty And The Beast 20:40 Touch 21:30 Elementary 22:20 Da Vinci’s Demons 23:20 Sons Of Anarchy 4 00:20 Falling Skies 04:10 Wilfred 04:35 The Cleve-

07:30 Pleasantville 9:30 Hollywood Buzz 10:00 Takers 12:00 Cinderella Story, A 13:45 Tin Cup 16:00 Men In Black 18:00 Due Date 20:00 LTV Sports News 21:00 Soul Surfer 23:00 Wild Things 00:50 Hustler Tv 02:20 I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell 04:10 La Princesse De Montpensier (The Princess Of Montpensier) 06:30 LTV Sports News

07:00 Kids TV 13:40 Max Adventures 14:05 Ironman 15:00 Star Mazda: Lucas Oil Raceway 16:00 2013 Wtcc 16:30 Coca-Cola Cup 2012-13 18:30 2012 World’s Strongest Man 19:00 Nba 2012-13 21:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13 23:00 Planet Speed 23:30 Spirit Of Wimbledon 00:00 Volvo Ocean Race 01:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13 03:00 2012 Pga Tour Highlights 04:00 Grand American Series 2012 04:45 Jeep World Of Adventure Sports

07:15 Big Bang Theory 07:45 Two And A Half Men 08:40

Friends 09:05 Harry’s Law Ii 10:00 One Tree Hill 10:45 C.S.I. New York 11:35 C.S.I. Miami 12:30 Ncis: Los Angeles 13:15 Luck 14:30 Mentalist Iv, The 15:15 Necessary Roughness 00:35 Double Jeopardy 02:30 Paranormal ActiVIty 04:00 Closer, The VII

07:45 City Of Angels 09:45 I Love You, Man 11:45 True Stories 13:30 Tom & Jerry: Shiver Me Whiskers 15:00 Detroit Rock City 16:45 London Boulevard 18:45 Right Stuff 22:00 Roxanne 00:05 Daring!

Tv 04:05 Around The World In 80 Days

06:00 Dirty Girl 07:35 Manhattan Murder Mystery 09:25 Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked 10:55 The Avengers 13:20 This Means War 15:00 Person Of Interest 15:50 Cine News 16:40 Welcome To The South 18:30 The Help 21:00 Person Of Interest 22:00 The Dictator 23:30 Moonrise Kingdom 01:15 Meeting Evil 04:25 The Names Of Love

06:50 Cine News 07:25 Glory 09:30 Salvation Boulevard 11:10 The Muppets 2:55 Lady From Shanghai 14:25 Anonymous 16:35 The Illusionist 18:25 Brake 20:00 Men In Black 3 22:00 This Must Be The Place 00:05 My Super ExGirlfriend 01:45 Runaway Jury 03:50 The Jackal

06:25 Cine News 07:10 The Chamber 09:00 Page Eight 10:45 Cine News 11:15 In Time 15:25 Ghost Rider 17:20 Magic City 21:00 Encounter With Danger 22:35 The Prince Of Winterfell 23:40 Coriolanus 01:45 Inglorious Bitches 03:35 The Transporter

05:00 There Will Be Blood 07:35 Cine News 08:25 Chicken With Plums 09:55 The Emperor’s Club 11:45 Spy Kids 4: All The Time In The Word 13:15 Bridesmaids 15:20 Management 17:00 The Harder They Fall 18:55 Cine News 19:10 The Vow 21:00 Young Adult 00:40 Unfaithful 02:45 Martha Marcy May Marlene 04:25 Passion Play

09:30 Programming TBA 11:30 MLB On FOX: Philadelphia Phillies At Washington Nationals 14:30 European Tour BMW PGA Championship Final LIVE 19:30 NHL: Playoffs Date & Time Tentative 22:00 Big Ten Baseball: Big Ten Championship Game 1 Teams TBA

06:00 MTV Morning 12:00 MTV Daily Hits 18:00 MTV Out Loud 00:00 MTV After Hours

06:00 TCM Presents Under the Influence: Laurence Fishburne 06:30 How the West Was Won 09:00 Show Boat 10:50 North

By Northwest 13:15 Singin’ In The Rain 15:00 Guns For San Sebastian 16:50 Rhapsody 18:50 Little Women 21:00 Cool Hand Luke 22:55 Dark Of The Sun 00:35 Cool Hand Luke 02:30 Dark Of The Sun 04:10 Little Women

By Preston Wilder

The Right Stuff (LTV3, 18.45) Something died inside every fan of The Right Stuff last week when the BBC reported that astronaut “and Twitter star” Chris Hadfield had come back to Earth from the International Space Station. No offence to Mr. Hadfield, whose space antics endeared him to millions - but surely John Glenn, Gus Grissom and Co. wouldn’t need to tweet videos of themselves singing ‘Space Oddity’ even if Twitter had existed in the 1960s, because after all they were astronauts and that made them real-life superheroes. Astronauts aren’t heroes anymore - but this three-hour film (telling the tale of the original Mercury 7 astronauts) remains wildly enjoyable, playing the stirring macho stuff for laughs yet

still emerging as stirring and macho. Favourite scenes: the “What Gus is saying” bit and Ed Harris (as Glenn) standing up for his shy wife against LBJ - but really it’s all terrific. Settle down, Chris Hadfield. Made in 1983.

The Dictator (Novacinema1, 22.00) “I have aladeen news, and I have aladeen news,” says the doctor - which is a problem because we’re in the fictional country of Wadiya, where megalomaniac Admiral-General Aladeen (Sacha Baron Cohen) has changed 300 words in Wadiyan to ‘aladeen’. “Give me the aladeen news first,” says the patient warily.

“You’re HIV-aladeen!” replies the doctor - and the man smiles broadly at this good news ... then thinks about

The Dictator

it, and looks crestfallen at this tragic news ... then thinks again, and smiles broadly at this good news ...

You might think that joke’s a little musty, but at least it’s a proper joke with a set-up and a punchline - and this underrated comedy (Baron Cohen’s first real flop) may be more conventional than Borat and Bruno but it’s smarter than people gave it credit for, not least politically. Aladeen goes to New York, where he ends up incognito and teams up with dictator-hating activist Anna Faris; not much of a plot, admittedly - but the jokes keep coming, and the film (to its credit) reserves its real venom not for Gaddafi-like dictators but the West’s hypocritical bleating about “democracy”. How aladeen. Not to mention aladeen. Made in 2012.

T V THURSDAY 30/05 SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

CYBC 1 06.45 08.15

Proti Enimerosi Kali Sas Mera Early morning entertainment magazine featuring segments on cooking, fashion, lifestyle issues and more.

11.00 11.30

Kaftes Piperies (rpt) Istories Tou Horkou (rpt) Popular local comedy series, which is the longest-running weekly show on Cyprus television.

12.00 15.30 16.00 18.00 18.15 18.45

Apo Mera Se Mera Entehnos Mazi Sto CyBC News Kypros Ena Taxidi (rpt) Kaftes Piperies

19.20

Paizoume Kypriaka

Live cookery show.

CYBC 2 08.00 16.30

17.00 18.00 18.50 19.00 19.10

News Patates 8 Local satirical show, using comedy sketches and embarrassing TV clips to skewer local politicians.

22.00

Moiraia Fengaria Local period drama, based on true events.

22.30 23.30 23.45

00.00

Proektaseis News Diktiotheite Kai Exelihtheite

Kids’ TV Euromaxx

06.50 07.00

DW-TV’s magazine show, bringing you the latest on lifestyle and entertainment in Europe.

07.50 08.40 09.30 10.25 11.15

Kati Psinetai (rpt) Biz/Emeis News In English News In Turkish Jamie’s School Dinners Jamie Oliver takes over the kitchen of Kidbrooke School in Greenwich, hoping to re-educate the junk food-loving children by introducing a healthy diet through his Feed Me Better campaign.

20.00 21.00

NRG Zone FIFA Word Cup Magazine (rpt) A look ahead to the tournament that will be staged in Brazil, which has already seen the qualification process begin in Africa, Asia and South America.

Second season of local game show, asking questions having to do with Cypriot dialect.

20.00 21.15

ANTENNA

21.45

00.00

14.50 15.45 16.40 17.30 17.40

Motor Sports Kati Psinetai (rpt) News In English & Greek (rpt) More Repeats

06.00 07.00 08.00 08.10

18.40 19.30 20.15 21.25 21.30 22.20

Aiyia Fuxia (rpt) Niose Me News Allantopoleio Grigoriou Vals Me 12 Theous Grey’s Anatomy

09.00 10.00 11.40 14.00 16.00 18.00 18.40 19.30 20.20 21.20 22.20 23.10

Series on Internet entrepreneurship.

02.30

Repeats

03.20 04.40

Eilikrina News Sport News Ola Bahalo Fetos To Kleidi tou Paradeisou (rpt) To Paihnidi Tis Signomis (rpt) News (rpt) Deal (rpt)

Klemmena Oneira (rpt) Proino Mou Enimerosi Tora Eheis Meson Yia Sena News Anisiha Hronia Sto Para Pente News Klemmena Oneira Oi Vasiliades FILM: The Tailor Of Panama A tailor living in Panama reluctantly becomes a spy for a British agent. Thriller, starring Pierce Brosnan and Geoffrey Rush. 2001.

00.30 00.40

Seventh season of US medical drama.

23.10 00.00 00.05 00.20 01.40

Kai Oi Tesseris Itan Iperohes (rpt) News (rpt) Max Adventures Master Chef (rpt) Greek competitive cooking reality show, open to amateur and home chefs.

With News at 18.00.

Europa League Highlights of the 20122013 season.

22.35 23.00 23.45

12.10 13.00 13.20 14.00

Me Agapi Ellas To Magaleio Sou (rpt) Dis Madiam (rpt) Fila To Vatraho Sou (rpt) Karma (rpt) Pansellinos (rpt) Tis Agapis Mahairia (rpt) Niose Me (rpt) News Mera Mesimeri (rpt) Konstantinou Kai Elenis (rpt) Tha Vreis To Daskalo Sou (rpt) Vals Me 12 Theous (rpt) Tin Patisa (rpt) Lefta Sto Lepto Yia Tin Agapi Sou (rpt)

MEGA 06.50 07.40 08.50

09.40 10.30 11.10 12.00 15.20

18.00 18.05 18.45

Yia Sena (rpt) Proino Mou (rpt)

Anna Paola (rpt) Spiti ap’tin Arhi (rpt) Efialtis Stin Kouzina (rpt)

PLUS TV 07.20 08.30 09.00

A Greek chef tries to turn around Greek restaurants in crisis.

10.00

Vasiliki (rpt) Mila Mou (rpt) Epta Ouranoi Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni

10.45 11.40 12.30 13.00 15.30 17.20

Variety show featuring entertainment as well as segments on cooking, youth issues and more.

17.50 19.40 21.00

News Ti Tha Fame Simera Mama? (rpt) Anna Paola

22.00

19.40 20.20 21.15

Efta Ourani Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) News Pame Paketo Popular talkshow that deals with human interest stories such as reuniting people, fulfilling dreams and connecting individuals who want to correct past mistakes in their lives.

23.10 00.10 00.15 01.00 01.45 04.10

Dekati Entoli News Epistrofi (rpt) Se Fonto Kokkino Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni (rpt)

Fotis - Maria Live Best Of Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Mesimeriani Meleti Best Of Nistikoi Praktores (rpt) Mila (rpt) Ta Kopelia (rpt) Star News Mesimeriani Meleti Kids’ TV Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Fotis - Maria Live Mila Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Fringe Third season.

‘Bloodline’. Alt-Olivia is diagnosed with a dangerous condition that could kill her or her baby during childbirth, but someone tries to stop the scheduled procedure to save her.

Latin American telenovela.

News Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles Set after the events in Terminator 2 Sarah Connor and her son John, trying to stay under-the-radar from the government as they plot to destroy the computer network Skynet in hopes of preventing Armageddon.

01.30 03.30

SIGMA

22.45

00.15 01.00 02.00

06.45 07.45 08.15 10.00 11.00 12.00 12.25 13.10 14.20 15.25 15.55

Nistikoi Praktores (rpt) LTV Sports News Star News Repeats

Kids’ TV Magikos Kosmos Sto Mati Tou Kiklona (rpt) Ston Asterismos Tis Imeras Kouzina Me Apopsi Akti Oneiron (rpt) Milagros Kids’ TV Telemarketing Kalitera En Ginetai Top Models Latin American telenovela.

16.45 17.30

Akti Oneiron Sto Mati Tou Kiklona (rpt)

19.15 19.50 20.05

News Sports Time O Anthropos Tis Thalassas FILM: The Last Hit Man

With News at 18.10.

21.00

An assassin who works with his daughter learns he is dying, and is threatened by an ambitious younger rival. Thriller, starring Joe Mantegna. 2008.

Cold Case (rpt) Third season. ‘Joseph’.

When a victim’s debit card is used a year after his death, the team reopen the 2005 case of a murdered rehab centre counsellor who was shot to death just two days before he was due to testify in court. Last in series.

23.30

CAPITAL

22.45

FILM: In the Line of Fire A secret service agent who failed to stop the Kennedy assassination tries to outwit a killer plotting to murder the president. Thriller, starring Clint Eastwood.

1993.

01.05

FILM: Final Move Crime thriller, starring Matt Schulze. 2006.

Arthur (LTV3, 22.00)

01:25 My Family 01:55 The Weakest Link 02:40 EastEnders 03:10 Doctors 03:40 Love Life 04:30 After You’ve Gone 05:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 05:45 My Family 06:15 The Weakest Link 07:00 Penelope K, By The Way 07:10 Me Too! 07:30 Teletubbies 07:55 Balamory 08:15 Penelope K, By The Way 08:25 Me Too! 08:45 Teletubbies 09:10 Balamory 09:30 My Family 10:00 After You’ve Gone 10:30 The Weakest Link 11:15 EastEnders 11:45 Doctors 12:15 Hustle 13:05 Love Life 13:55 My Family 14:25 Michael Palin’s New Europe 15:15 After You’ve Gone 15:45 EastEnders 16:15 Doctors 16:45 The Weakest Link 17:30 The Iceberg That Sank The Titanic 18:20 Love Life 19:10 EastEnders 19:40 Doctors 20:15 The Weakest Link 21:00 My Family 21:30 Keeping Up Appearances 22:00 Spooks 22:50 Getting On 23:20 Little Britain 23:50 Watson & Oliver 00:20 The World of Stonehenge

07:00 Sunrise Earth 07:55

Rattlesnake Republic 08:40 Northwest Wild 09:30 Living With The Kombai Tribe 10:15 How The Universe Works 11:05 Deadliest Catch 11:50 How Do They Do It? 12:15 Inside West Coast Customs 13:05 Chasing Classic Cars 13:50 Cafe Racer 14:35 Ultimate Journeys 15:25 Living With The Kombai Tribe 16:10 Mythbusters 17:00 Alps From Above 17:50 Prehistoric 18:40 Cafe Racer 19:30 Ultimate Journeys 20:20 How The Universe Works 21:10 Living With The Kombai Tribe 22:00 Alps From Above 22:50 Prehistoric 23:40 Deadliest Catch 00:30 How The Universe Works 01:15 Mythbusters 02:05 Alps From Above 02:50 Prehistoric 03:40 Cafe Racer 04:30 Living With The Kombai Tribe 05:20 Ultimate Journeys 06:10 How The Universe Works

09:30 Equestrian: Nations Cup Series Italy 10:30 Tennis French Open: Duel Of The Day 11:30 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats 12:00 Tennis: French Open Paris 22:00 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats 22:30 Fight Sport: Fight Club 00:30 Fight Sport: Total Ko 01:00 Tennis French Open: Duel Of The Day 02:00 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats

05:30 How I Met Your Mother 06:15 Criminal Minds 07:00 Breakout Kings 07:45 The Simpsons 18 08:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 08:35 Rules Of Engagement 09:25 How I Met Your Mother 10:15 Criminal Minds 11:00 Breakout Kings 11:45 The Simpsons 12:10 Bob’s Burgers 12:35 Rules Of Engagement 13:25 How I Met Your Mother 14:15 Touch 15:00 Breakout Kings 2 15:45 The Simpsons 16:10 Bob’s Burgers 16:35 Rules Of Engagement 17:25 How I Met Your Mother 18:15 Criminal Minds 19:00 Breakout Kings 2 19:50

The Simpsons 20:15 Bob’s Burgers 20:40 Rules Of Engagement 21:30 Touch 22:20 Beauty And The Beast 23:10 Criminal Minds 00:00 White Collar 00:45 Touch 01:30 The League 3 01:55 Traffic Light 02:20 Criminal Minds 03:05 Breakout Kings 2 03:50 The Simpsons 04:15 Bob’s Burgers 04:40 Dollhouse 2

07:30 Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen 10:00 My Best Friend’s Wedding 12:00 Social Network, The 14:15 King Solomon’s Mines 16:00 Sleepy Hollow 18:00 W.E. 20:00 LTV Sports News 21:00 Beatdown 22:30 Hollywood Buzz 23:00 Guitar, The 00:45 Hustler Tv 02:30 American, The 04:20 Arrangement, The 06:30 LTV Sports News

07:00 Kids TV 17:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13 19:00 Spirit Of Wimbledon 19:30 Inside Line 20:00 La Liga Review 201213 21:00 Barclays Premier League World 21:30 2012 World’s Strongest Man 22:00 2013 Fia Erc: Corse 22:30 Star Mazda: Lucas Oil Raceway 23:30 Planet Speed 00:00

Volvo Ocean Race 01:00 Espn Films 02:00 Three For The Show 03:00 Ironman 04:00 Grand American Series 2012 05:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13

07:15 Harry’s Law Ii 08:00 Two And A Half Men 08:30 Ncis: Los Angeles 10:00 Friends 10:30 Pan Am 11:15 Mentalist Iv, The 12:50 Closer, The V 13:40 Harry’s Law Ii 14:30 Ncis: Los Angeles 16:00 Two And A Half Men 16:30 One Tree Hill 17:15 C.S.I. New York 19:00 Closer, The V 19:45 PriVIleged 20:30 Friends 21:00 Alcatraz 21:45 Sons Of Anarchy V 22:50 Strike Back I 23:40 Pushing Daisies 00:30 Alaska 02:20 Doors, The: When You’re Strange 03:50 Two And A Half Men 04:15 One Tree Hill 05:00 C.S.I. New York 06:30 Closer, The V

08:00 Sea Gypsies 09:50 Hot Coffee 11:30 La Delicatesse (Delicacy) 13:30 Battle Los Angeles 15:30 Oceans 17:30 Knight’s Tale, A 19:45 Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy 22:00 Arthur (2011) 00:05 Daring! Tv 04:00 Kick-Ass 06:00 Not With My

Wife, You Don’t!

06:45 Cine News 07:10 Tt: Closer To The Edge 08:55 Walk The Line 11:10 Action Zone 11:50 Burden Of Evil 13:20 $5 A Day 15:00 Wings Of The Dove 16:45 Cine News 17:05 The Avengers 19:30 Mad On Novacinema 20:10 The Artist 22:00 American Reunion 00:00 Man At Sea 01:35 Battleship 03:50 Albert Nobbs

05:50 Transporter 2 07:20 One Day 09:10 Kala Krimmena Mystika - Athanasia 10:50 Cine News 11:45 Green Card 13:35 Two For The Road 15:30 17:15 Hollywood 1on1 17:50 Jane Eyre 19:55 The Bone Collector 22:00 I Am Legend 23:50 Brake 01:25 Rounders 03:25 Drive

19:25 Unthinkable 21:00 Starsky & Hutch 22:45 Cine News 23:00 Machine Gun Preacher 01:10 Anastasia

The Buttons 22:55 Against All Odds 01:00 Happy Few

16:00 European Tour Nordea Masters Live 19:00 Pre Game(E) 19:20 Championship 2012-13: Apollon Vs Doxa (E) 21:20 Post Game (E) 21:45 Stigmiotipa Kypriakou Podosferou 22:00 Australian V8 Supercars Texas 400, Circuit Of The Americas, Austin Texas 1:00 Sea Master

06:00 MTV Morning 12:00 MTV Daily Hits 18:00 MTV Out Loud 24:00 MTV After Hours

06:00 Mutiny on the Bounty 08:50 It Happened At The World’s Fair 10:40 Rio Bravo 13:00 Philadelphia Story 15:00 Speedway 16:50 Double Trouble 18:20 Fighting 69th 19:40 Rounders 21:00 Dirty Dozen 23:25 Anchors Aweigh 01:40 Dirty Dozen 04:05 Devil Makes Three

18:45 Moneyball 21:00 War Of

By Preston Wilder

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (LTV3, 19.45) The hothouse world of John le Carré, with George Smiley (Gary Oldman) as the king of spies. Smiley’s actually a right-hand man, loyally supporting ‘Control’ (John Hurt) in mid-70s Britain, at the height of the Cold War - and he follows his mentor out of MI6 after a botched operation, only to return when the higher-ups suspect there’s a “mole” at the top of “the Circus”. Everyone talks in code, meanwhile forming cliques and back-stabbing each other, and it’s all very civil - a mandarin sips tea and nibbles buttered toast while talking about “you chaps” - but in fact the stakes couldn’t be higher. Atmosphere and detail are

everything here (the plot sags a little), the film flawed but gloriously suggestive, reeking of repression and inadequacy. Worth seeing just for the powerhouse cast - also including Toby Jones, Colin Firth and Mark Strong - though in fact it’s worth seeing just for that evocatively grotty 70s wallpaper. Made in 2011.

American Reunion (Novacinema1, 22.00) Remember when Jim humped the pie? Remember that video with the exchange student? Here’s Michelle and here’s a flute; get the reference? Yes, yes and omigod yes. There’s a lot of residual affection for the American Pie franchise - and this reunion starts off

American Reunion

quite promisingly, with creaking bedsprings in Jim and Michelle’s bedroom turning out to be nothing more X-rated than Michelle rocking their baby son to sleep with Jim looking bored beside her. Alas, the film gets increasingly tacky (and X-rated), putting most of its money on outrageous Stifler who wears an “Orgasm Donor” T-shirt and at one point defecates noisily (with sound effects) into a beer cooler. The jokes are patchy, the structure so vague that the actual reunion feels like an afterthought, and the frantic pimping of Jim’s Dad - watch him smoke pot! get drunk! say “chillax”! - reeks of desperation. Still has its moments, like the high-school kid who listens to the Spice Girls and declares “I love classic rock”. Nooooo! Made in 2012.

T V TUESDAY 28/05 SUNDAY MAIL• May 26, 2013

CYBC 1 06.45 08.15

Proti Enimerosi Kali Sas Mera Early morning entertainment magazine featuring segments on cooking, fashion, lifestyle issues and more.

11.00

Kaftes Piperies (rpt)

11.30

Istories Tou Horkou (rpt)

CYBC 2 08.00 16.30 17.00 18.00 18.50 19.00 19.10

Live cookery show.

Popular local comedy series, which is the longest-running weekly show on Cyprus television.

12.00 15.30 16.00 18.00 18.15 18.45

Apo Mera Se Mera Entehnos Mazi Sto CyBC News Kypros Ena Taxidi (rpt) Kaftes Piperies

20.00 21.00

Paizoume Kypriaka Second season of local game show, asking questions having to do with Cypriot dialect.

20.00 21.15

22.00

News Vimata Stin Ammo

Moiraia Fengaria Local period drama, based on true events.

22.30 23.30 23.45

00.00

Eponymos News Diktiotheite Kai Exelihtheite

07.50 08.40

NRG Zone Survivors

Series on Internet entrepreneurship.

22.45

Repeats

23.45

09.30 10.25 11.15 12.10 13.00 13.20 14.00

Second season.

‘Episode 4’. Tom and Greg are enslaved in Mr Smithson’s coal mine, but it is not long before they begin to formulate an escape plan. Meanwhile, Abby and the remaining members of the Family follow Billy to an motel.

14.50

Desperate Housewives

18.40 19.30 20.15 21.25

Sixth season. ‘Never Judge a Lady by Her Lover’. A chance encounter with John Rowland causes Carlos to suspect Gabrielle is still attracted to him. Meanwhile, the Scavos tell their kids they are expecting twins but Lynette continues to hide her pregnancy at work, while Bree re-evaluates her affair with Karl.

Thids season of local period drama, based on true events.

22.00

06.30 06.50 07.00

Kids’ TV Euromaxx Kati Psinetai (rpt) Biz/Emeis News In English News In Turkish Jamie’s School Dinners Jamie Oliver takes over the kitchen of Kidbrooke School, hoping to re-educate the junk food-loving children by introducing a healthy diet.

Live local cookery show.

19.20

ANTENNA

Arctic With Bruce Barry Repeats

15.45 16.40 17.30 17.40

MEGA

Proini Enimerosi Me Agapi Ellas To Magaleio Sou (rpt) Dis Madiam (rpt) Fila To Vatraho Sou (rpt) Karma (rpt) Pansellinos (rpt) Tis Agapis Mahairia (rpt) Niose Me (rpt) News Mera Mesimeri (rpt) Konstantinou Kai Elenis (rpt) Tha Vreis To Daskalo Sou (rpt) Vals Me 12 Theous (rpt) Tin Patisa (rpt) Lefta Sto Lepto Yia Tin Agapi Sou (rpt)

06.00 07.00 08.00 08.10

Greek competitive cooking reality show, open to amateur and home chefs.

09.00 10.00 11.40 14.00 16.00 18.00 18.40 19.30 20.50 21.20

Klemmena Oneira (rpt) Proino Mou Enimerosi Tora Eheis Meson Yia Sena News Anisiha Hronia Sto Para Pente News Klemmena Oneira

22.20

Oi Vasiliades

23.10

Vampire Diaries

Greek drama series.

Greek comedy series.

A high school girl is torn between two vampire brothers. First season.

With News at 18.00.

21.30 22.20

Aiyia Fuxia (rpt) Niose Me News Allantopoleio Grigoriou Vals Me 12 Theous Grey’s Anatomy

00.00 00.20

Enopion Tou Laou News Sport News Radio Arvila

01.40

To Kleidi tou Paradeisou (rpt) Late Programmes

Live parady show.

02.30

News Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles Set after the events in Terminator 2 Sarah Connor and her son John, trying to stay under-the-radar from the government as they plot to destroy the computer network Skynet in hopes of preventing Armageddon.

Seventh season of US medical drama.

23.10 00.00 00.05 00.20

Kai Oi Tesseris Itan Iperohes (rpt) News (rpt) Max Adventures Master Chef (rpt)

01.00 03.00 04.30

SIGMA 06.50 07.40 08.50

Anna Paola (rpt) Spiti ap’tin Arhi (rpt) Efialtis Stin Kouzina (rpt) A Greek chef tries to turn around Greek restaurants in crisis.

09.40 10.30 11.10 12.00 15.20 18.00 18.05 18.45

Vasiliki (rpt) Mila Mou (rpt) Epta Ouranoi Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni News Ti Tha Fame Simera Mama? (rpt) Anna Paola

PLUS TV 07.20 08.30 09.00 10.00 10.45 11.40 12.30 13.00 15.30 17.20 17.50

Entertainment magazine featuring segments on cooking, health, fashion, lifestyle issues and more.

Latin American telenovela.

19.40 20.20 21.15 22.20

Efta Ourani Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) News Aspra Balonia Al Tsantiri News A highly successful live satirical comedy show that features Lakis Lazopoulos giving ‘his version’ of the news.

00.15 00.20 01.00 01.45 04.10

News Epistrofi (rpt) Se Fonto Kokkino Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni (rpt)

Fotis - Maria Live Best Of Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Mesimeriani Meleti Best Of Nistikoi Praktores (rpt) Mila (rpt) Ta Kopelia (rpt) Star News Mesimeriani Meleti Kids’ TV Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Fotis - Maria Live

19.40

Mila Popular tear-jerking talk-show following women’s issues, with showbiz guests.

21.00 21.25

06. 45 Kids’ TV 07.45 Magikos Kosmos 08.15 Sto Mati Tou Kiklona (rpt) 10.00 Ston Asterismo Tis Imeras 10.30 Kalitera En Ginetai (rpt) 11.00 Kouzina Me Apopsi 12.05 Akti Oneiron 12.35 Milagros 13.25 Kids’ TV 14.20 Telemarketing 15.30 Kalitera En Ginetai 16.05 Top Models 16.55 Akti Oneiron 17.30 Sto Mati Tou Kiklona With News at 18.10.

19.15 19.50 20.05 21.00

23.00

FILM: Kidnapped A teenager’s drugdealing best friend commits suicide, an event that leads to a mix-up with a kidnapping gone wrong.

Comedy drama, with Jamie Bell. 2005.

Ta Kopelia Local comedy series.

23.40 00.50 01.50

News Sports News Igeia & Zoi (rpt) FILM: Black Point A former police officer is drawn into a web of murder and betrayal when he becomes the lover of a gangland killer’s wife. Crime thriller, with David Caruso. 2001.

Exelixeis Sti Showbiz FILM: Quick Change Comedy, with Bill Murray and Geena Davis. 1990. See Pick Of The Day.

23.00

CAPITAL

LTV Sports News Star News Repeats 01.05

FILM: Wild At Heart Road movie about an ex-con and his lover who set off on a nightmarish journey across America. Crime romance, starring Nicolas Cage. 1990.

Yia Sena (rpt) Enimerosi Tora Proino Mou (rpt)

Tower Heist (Novacinema1, 16.35)

01:40 The Royle Family 02:10 The Weakest Link 02:55 EastEnders 03:25 Doctors 03:55 The Green Green Grass 04:25 The Royle Family 04:55 Lark Rise To Candleford 05:45 My Family 06:15 The Weakest Link 07:00 Penelope K, By The Way 07:10 Me Too! 07:30 Teletubbies 07:55 Balamory 08:15 Penelope K, By The Way 08:25 Me Too! 08:45 Teletubbies 09:10 Balamory 09:30 My Family 10:00 The Green Green Grass 10:30 The Weakest Link 11:15 EastEnders 11:45 Doctors 12:15 Lark Rise To Candleford 13:05 Ray Mears’ Northern Wilderness 13:55 My Family 14:25 Michael Palin’s New Europe 15:15 The Green Green Grass 15:45 EastEnders 16:15 Doctors 16:45 The Weakest Link 17:30 Lark Rise To Candleford 18:20 Ray Mears’ Northern Wilderness 19:10 EastEnders 19:40 Doctors 20:15 The Weakest Link 21:00 My Family 21:30 The Royle Family 22:00 Rock & Chips: Special: Xmas 2010 22:50 As Time Goes By 23:20 Little Britain 23:50 Love Life 00:40 After You’ve Gone

07:00

Sunrise Earth 07:55

Sons Of Guns 08:40 Alps From Above 09:30 Trashopolis 10:15 How The Universe Works 11:05 Deadliest Catch 11:50 How Do They Do It? 12:15 Crisis Control 13:05 World’s Top 5 13:50 Cafe Racer 14:15 Cafe Racer 14:35 Ultimate Journeys 15:25 Trashopolis 16:10 Mythbusters 17:00 Rattlesnake Republic 17:50 Northwest Wild 18:40 Cafe Racer 19:30 Ultimate Journeys 20:20 How The Universe Works 21:10 Trashopolis 22:00 Rattlesnake Republic 22:50 Northwest Wild 23:40 Deadliest Catch 00:30 How The Universe Works 01:15 Mythbusters 02:05 Rattlesnake Republic 02:50 Northwest Wild 03:40 Cafe Racer 04:30 Trashopolis 05:20 Ultimate Journeys 06:10 How The Universe Works

09:30 Tennis: French Open Paris 10:30 Tennis French Open: Duel Of The Day 11:30 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats 12:00 Tennis: French Open Paris 22:00 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats 22:30 Boxing: Ibf Title Heavy Weight Contest 00:30 Car Racing: World Se-

ries By Renault Monaco 01:00 Tennis French Open: Duel Of The Day 02:00 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats

05:30 How I Met Your Mother 06:15 Criminal Minds 07:00 Breakout Kings 07:45 The Simpsons 18 08:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 08:35 Rules Of Engagement 09:25 How I Met Your Mother 10:15 Criminal Minds 11:00 Breakout Kings 11:45 The Simpsons 12:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 12:35 Rules Of Engagement 13:25 How I Met Your Mother 14:15 Beauty And The Beast 15:00 Breakout Kings 15:45 The Simpsons 18 16:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 16:35 Rules Of Engagement 17:25 How I Met Your Mother 18:15 Criminal Minds 19:00 Breakout Kings 19:50 The Simpsons 20:15 Bob’s Burgers 20:40 Rules Of Engagement 21:30 Beauty And The Beast 22:20 Touch 23:10 Criminal Minds 00:00 Sons Of Anarchy 4 01:00 Beauty And The Beast 01:45 The League 3 02:10 Traffic Light 02:35 Criminal Minds 03:25 Breakout Kings 04:15 The Simpsons 04:40 Dollhouse 2

07:30 Leaves Of Grass 09:30 Bodyguard, The 12:00 White Wall 14:00 Sammy’s Adventures: The Secret Passage 15:30 Hollywood Buzz 16:00 Pina 18:00 Hideaways, The 20:00 LTV Sports News 21:00 Shelter 23:00 Penthouse, The 00:30 Hustler Tv 02:35 Hollywood Buzz 03:10 Triage 05:00 Dangerous Attraction 06:30 LTV Sports News

07:00 Kids TV 17:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13 19:00 Nba 2012-13 21:00 Planet Speed 21:30 La Liga Show 2012-13 22:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13 00:00 Volvo Ocean Race 01:00 Espn Films 02:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13 04:00 Grand American Series 2012 05:00 Volvo Ocean Race 06:00 Ironman

07:15 One Tree Hill 08:00 Two And A Half Men 08:30 C.S.I. New York 10:00 Harry’s Law Ii 10:45 Two And A Half Men 11:15 Ncis: Los Angeles 12:45 Closer, The V 13:30 One Tree Hill 14:15 C.S.I. New York 16:00 Friends 16:25 PriVIleged 17:10 Alcatraz 18:00

19:00 Amador 21:00 Birth 22:45 Music Of The Heart 00:50 Poker Face

Luck 19:05 Closer, The V 19:50 Harry’s Law Ii 20:35 2 Broke Girls 21:00 Southland 21:45 C.S.I. Miami 22:30 Strike Back I 23:20 Pushing Daisies 00:05 Twilight Saga: Eclipse 02:10 Fast Freddie, The Widow & Me 03:30 Friends 03:55 PriVIleged 04:40 Alcatraz 05:30 Luck 06:35 Closer, The V

08:00 Sin Nombre 10:00 Citizen Usa: 50 State Road Trip 11:15 Mirror Mirror 13:15 Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood 15:15 War Of The Buttons 17:00 Carlos 20:00 Lol 22:00 Serious Man, A 00:05 Daring! Tv 04:05 B-Girl 05:45 Runaways

05:35 Cine News 06:25 Hara Kiri: Death Of A Samurai 08:30 Kate And Leopold 10:30 Films

And Stars 11:05 The Three Musketeers 12:55 The Lorax 14:25 Hollywood 1 On 1 15:00 Like Crazy 16:35 Tower Heist 20:10 Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes 22:00 A Dangerous Method 23:45 Once Fallen 01:20 Suspect Zero 03:00 Cine News 04:00 Being Flynn

16:00 MLB: Texas Rangers At Arizona Diamondbacks 19:00 PRE GAME(E) 19:20 CHAMPIONSHIP 2012-13: APOLLON VS AEL (E) 21:20 POST GAME (E) 21:45 STIGMIOTIPA KYPRIAKOU PODOSFEROU 22:00 Pinks All Out Gainesville

05:30 The Way 07:40 The Game 09:50 Shampoo 11:40 Never Been Kissed 13:30 Cine News 14:10 No Reservations 15:55 Fun With Dick And Jane 17:35 Hollywood Buzz 18:10 Fast Five 20:25 I Don’t Know How She Does It 22:00 How I Spent My Summer Vacation 23:45 I Fouska

06:00 MTV Morning 12:00 MTV Daily Hits 18:00 MTV Out Loud 24:00 MTV After Hours

19:20 Robinson Crusoe 21:00 The Pelican Brief 23:25 Conan The Barbarian 01:15 Cine News 01:30 Yasmine A L’ecole D’infirmieres

06:00 Doctor Zhivago 09:05 Cimarron 11:30 Jailhouse Rock 13:05 Charge Of The Light Brigade 15:00 Elvis: That’s the Way It Is 17:00 Three Daring Daughters 19:00 Seven Days In May 21:00 2001: A Space Odyssey 23:15 Formula 01:10 2001: A Space Odyssey 03:30 Formula

By Preston Wilder

Quick Change (Plus TV, 21.25) There aren’t many films I quote in real life, but this is one of them - especially the line directed at a really unhelpful person, the perfect riposte to sluggish bank clerks and civil servants: “Thank you. You could have given us help. But you gave us so much more”. Of course it works better when delivered in Bill Murray’s weary deadpan - and he’s right to be weary because hell is other people in this quirky comedy, starting off with Murray as a bank robber pulling off a (truly clever) heist in a clown costume. Now he just has to get away, along with cohorts Geena Davis and Randy Quaid but New York keeps tripping them up, everyone from cabbies to ordinary bystanders turning out to be pos-

sibly insane and certainly obstructive. Murray also codirected, and his rueful misanthropy has seldom been funnier as disasters pile up around him. “What the hell kind of clown are you?” asks an angry guard as Bozo’s larcenous intentions become clear; “The crying on the inside kind, I guess,” he replies without cracking a smile. Hugely underrated. Made in 1990.

A Dangerous Method (Novacinema1, 22.00) The good news: Keira Knightley gets spanked in this cerebral period drama, something we’ve waited years to see (face it, she’s annoying). The bad news: the whacking is therapeutic, administered by Carl Jung

A Dangerous Method

(Michael Fassbender) in a bid to cure her suppressed neuroses over childhood beatings from her father and the subject is psychoanalysis in its infancy, making tentative attempts to solve the mystery of human consciousness. Jung and Freud (Viggo Mortensen) tell each other their dreams and earnestly analyse them but the two men also clash, the differences between them (Protestant/Jew, rich/poor, mystic/pragmatist) greater than their common desire to find “a hinge into the universe”. A film of ideas, the only problem being that it isn’t played as a film of ideas; it’s played as character drama - and the drama is thin, though Jung is a flawed, ambiguous character. They should’ve called it ‘The Jung and the Restless’. Made in 2011.

T V WEDNESDAY 29/05 May 26, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

CYBC 1 06.45 08.15

Proti Enimerosi Kali Sas Mera Early morning entertainment magazine featuring segments on cooking, fashion, lifestyle issues and more.

11.00

Kaftes Piperies (rpt)

11.30

Istories Tou Horkou (rpt)

Live cookery show.

Popular local comedy series, which is the longest-running weekly show on Cyprus television.

12.00 15.30 15.35 16.00 18.00 18.15 18.45

Apo Mera Se Mera State Lottery Draw Entehnos Mazi Sto CyBC News Kypros Ena Taxidi (rpt) Kaftes Piperies Live local cookery show.

19.20

CYBC 2 08.00 16.30 17.00 18.00 18.50 19.00 19.10 20.00 21.00

22.00

News Vimata Stin Ammo

Moiraia Fengaria Local period drama, based on true events.

22.30 23.30 23.45

I Kypros Konta Sas News Diktiotheite Kai Exelihtheite Series on Internet entrepreneurship.

00.00

Repeats

07.00 07.50 08.40 09.30 10.25 11.15

Desperate Housewives Sixth season. ‘The God-Why-Don’tYou-Love-Me Blues’.

Katherine begins to unravel, confiding in Bree about the toll that losing Mike has taken on her, and Gabrielle grows weary of John’s intentions toward her niece Ana. Meanwhile, as Lynette’s pregnancy progresses, she becomes frustrated by her family’s refusal to help around the house.

Paizoume Kypriaka

Thids season of local period drama, based on true events.

22.00

Kids’ TV Euromaxx Kati Psinetai (rpt) Kato Apo Ton Idio Ourano News In English News In Turkish Jamie’s School Dinners NRG Zone Survivors Second season.

‘Episode 5’. The Family encounters a community of survivors, but the idyll is broken when one member of the group befriends an elderly couple who have contracted a strain of the virus. Meanwhile, Greg heads out with Abby to follow up his suspicions about the mysterious postcard.

Second season of local game show, asking questions having to do with Cypriot dialect.

20.00 21.15

ANTENNA

22.45

23.45

12.10 13.00 13.20 14.00 14.50 15.45 16.40 17.30 17.40

06.00 07.00 08.00 08.10

18.40 19.30 20.15 21.25 21.30 22.20

Aiyia Fuxia (rpt) Niose Me News Allantopoleio Grigoriou Vals Me 12 Theous Grey’s Anatomy

09.00 10.00 11.40 14.00 16.00 18.00 18.40 19.30 20.20 21.20

02.30

BBC nature documentary series, set in the Arctic. Part 3.

03.20 04.40

Oikonomahies News Sport News Ola Bahalo Fetos To Kleidi tou Paradeisou (rpt) To Paihnidi Tis Signomis (rpt) News (rpt) Deal (rpt)

06.50 07.40 08.50

Klemmena Oneira (rpt) Proino Mou Enimerosi Tora Eheis Meson Yia Sena News Anisiha Hronia Sto Para Pente News Klemmena Oneira

22.20

Piso Sto Spiti

09.40 10.30 11.10 12.00 15.20 18.00 18.05 18.45

Vampire Diaries A high school girl is torn between two vampire brothers. First season.

00.00 00.20

News Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles Set after the events in Terminator 2 Sarah Connor and her son John, trying to stay under-the-radar from the government as they plot to destroy the computer network Skynet in hopes of preventing Armageddon.

01.00 03.00 04.30

Vasiliki (rpt) Mila Mou (rpt) Epta Ouranoi Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni News Ti Tha Fame Simera Mama? (rpt) Anna Paola Latin American telenovela.

Greek comedy series.

23.10

Anna Paola (rpt) Spiti ap’tin Arhi (rpt) Efialtis Stin Kouzina (rpt) A Greek chef comes to the aid of struggling restaurateurs, and dispenses advice to help them turn their business around in the space of two weeks.

Greek drama series.

Seventh season of US medical drama.

23.10 00.00 00.05 00.20 01.40

Kai Oi Tesseris Itan Iperohes (rpt) News (rpt) Max Adventures Master Chef (rpt)

SIGMA

Greek competitive cooking reality show, open to amateur and home chefs.

With News at 18.00.

Arctic With Bruce Barry

Repeats

Ellas To Magaleio Sou (rpt) Dis Madiam (rpt) Fila To Vatraho Sou (rpt) Karma (rpt) Pansellinos (rpt) Tis Agapis Mahairia (rpt) Niose Me (rpt) News Mera Mesimeri (rpt) Konstantinou Kai Elenis (rpt) Tha Vreis To Daskalo Sou (rpt) Vals Me 12 Theous (rpt) Tin Patisa (rpt) Lefta Sto Lepto Yia Tin Agapi Sou (rpt)

MEGA

19.40 20.20 21.15 22.20

PLUS TV 07.20 08.30 09.00 10.00 10.45 11.40 12.30 13.00 15.30 17.20 17.50 19.40

Talk-show following women’s issues, with showbiz guests.

21.00 22.00

04.10

News Epistrofi (rpt) Se Fonto Kokkino Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni (rpt)

Yia Sena (rpt) Enimerosi Tora Proino Mou (rpt)

22.45

11.00 11.30 12.30 13.20 14.40 15.25 16.00 16.55 17.30

Magikos Kosmos Sto Mati Tou Kiklona (rpt) Ston Asterismo Tis Imeras Kouzina Me Apopsi Igeia & Zoi (rpt) Milagros Kids’ TV Best off Live@4 (rpt) Kalitera En Ginetai Top Models Akti Oneiron Sto Mati Tou Kiklona

19.15 19.50 20.05 21.00

News Sports News Epi Topou FILM: Depth Charge

10.00

With News at 18.10.

The captain of a nuclear submarine threatens to launch his missiles on the US unless the President resigns.

Thriller, starring Jason Gedrick. 2008.

22.45

LTV Sports News Star News Repeats

FILM: Original Sin A wealthy businessman in 19th-century Cuba is overjoyed when his ‘mail-order’ bride turns out to be a sultry beauty - but she soon arouses suspicions. Period thriller, starring Antonio Banderas. 2001.

FILM: The Avengers Secret agents John Steed and Emma Peel face a dastardly villain with a plan to control the weather. Spy adventure, starring Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman. 1998.

00.40 01.30 02.20

07.45 08.15

Exelixeis Sti Showbiz The Closer Sixth season. ‘An Ugly Game’. The arrest of a crack addict raises suspicions about the activities of a drug rehabilitation centre.

The discovery leads Gabriel to question Brenda’s judgement, and prompts Fritz to reveal hidden secrets.

Efta Ourani Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) News Aspra Balonia 60 Lepta Local investigative show.

00.15 00.20 01.00 01.45

Fotis - Maria Live Best Of Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Mesimeriani Meleti Best Of Nistikoi Praktores (rpt) Mila (rpt) Ta Kopelia (rpt) Star News Mesimeriani Meleti Kids’ TV Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Fotis - Maria Live Mila

CAPITAL

01.00

FILM: Federal Protection A thief finds himself on the wrong side of the Mob and must rely on the FBI to protect him.

Crime drama, starring Armand Assante. 2001.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (Novacinema1, 17.40)

01:10 The Weakest Link 01:55 The Royle Family 02:25 As Time Goes By 02:55 EastEnders 03:25 Doctors 03:55 Rock & Chips: Special: Xmas 2010 04:45 Little Britain 05:15 The Royle Family 05:45 My Family 06:15 The Weakest Link 07:00 Penelope K, By The Way 07:10 Me Too! 07:30 Teletubbies 07:55 Balamory 08:15 Penelope K, By The Way 08:25 Me Too! 08:45 Teletubbies 09:10 Balamory 09:30 My Family 10:00 Little Britain 10:30 The Weakest Link 11:15 EastEnders 11:45 Doctors 12:15 Love Life 13:05 Rock & Chips: Special: Xmas 2010 13:55 My Family 14:25 Michael Palin’s New Europe 15:15 The Royle Family 15:45 EastEnders 16:15 Doctors 16:45 The Weakest Link 17:30 Love Life 18:20 Rock & Chips: Special: Xmas 2010 19:10 EastEnders 19:40 Doctors 20:15 The Weakest Link 21:00 My Family 21:30 After You’ve Gone 22:00 Love Life 22:50 Jam And Jerusalem 23:20 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 00:05 Spooks 00:55 Getting On

07:00 Sunrise Earth 07:55 Crisis Control 08:40 World’s Top

5 09:30 Trashopolis 10:15 How The Universe Works 11:05 Deadliest Catch 11:50 How Do They Do It? 12:15 Rattlesnake Republic 13:05 Northwest Wild 13:50 Cafe Racer 14:35 Ultimate Journeys 15:25 Trashopolis 16:10 Mythbusters 17:00 Inside West Coast Customs 17:50 Chasing Classic Cars 18:40 Cafe Racer 19:30 Ultimate Journeys 20:20 How The Universe Works 21:10 Living With The Kombai Tribe 22:00 Inside West Coast Customs 22:50 Chasing Classic Cars 23:40 Deadliest Catch 00:30 How The Universe Works 01:15 Mythbusters 02:05 Inside West Coast Customs 02:50 Chasing Classic Cars 03:40 Cafe Racer 04:30 Living With The Kombai Tribe 05:20 Ultimate Journeys 06:10 How The Universe Works

09:30 Car Racing: World Series

By Renault Monaco 10:00 Tennis: French Open Paris 10:30 Tennis French Open: Duel Of The Day 11:30 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats 12:00 Tennis: French Open Paris 22:00 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats 22:30 All Sports: Wednesday Selection 22:35 Equestrian: Nations Cup

Series Italy 23:35 Equestrian Sports: Riders Club 23:40 Golf: U.S. P.G.A. Tour Crowne Plaza Invitational Usa 00:40 Golf: The European Tour Canada Open 01:10 Golf: Golf Club 01:15 Sailing: Yacht Club 01:20 All Sports: Wednesday Selection 01:30 Tennis: French Open Paris 02:00 Tennis: Game, Set And Mats

05:30 How I Met Your Mother 06:15 Criminal Minds 07:00 Breakout Kings 07:45 The Simpsons 08:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 08:35 Rules Of Engagement 09:25 How I Met Your Mother 10:15 Criminal Minds 11:00 Breakout Kings 11:45 The Simpsons 18 12:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 12:35 Rules Of Engagement 13:25 How I Met Your Mother 14:15 Elementary 15:00 Breakout Kings 15:45 The Simpsons 16:10 Bob’s Burgers 16:35 Rules Of Engagement 17:25 How I Met Your Mother 18:15 Criminal Minds 19:00 Breakout Kings 2 19:50 The Simpsons 20:15 Bob’s Burgers 20:40 Rules Of Engagement 21:30 Elementary 22:20 Homeland 23:10 Criminal Minds 00:00 White Collar 00:45 Elementary 01:30 The League 3 01:55 Traffic Light 02:20 Criminal Minds 03:05 Breakout Kings

2 03:50 The Simpsons 04:15 Bob’s Burgers 04:40 Dollhouse 2

07:30 Akeelah And The Bee 09:30 La Delicatesse (Delicacy) 11:30 Centurion 13:30 48 Hrs 15:15 Expendables, The (2010) 17:00 Hollywood Buzz 17:30 Black Sunday 20:00 LTV Sports News 21:00 Creation 23:00 Another 48 Hrs 00:45 Hustler Tv 2:15 Hollywood Buzz 02:45 Falling Down 04:45 Poor Boy’s Game 06:30 LTV Sports News

07:00 Kids TV 17:00 Nba Action 17:30 Barclays Premier League World 18:00 La Liga Show 201213 18:30 2012 World’s Strongest Man 19:00 Spirit Of Wimbledon 19:30 2013 Fia Erc: Corse 20:00 Ironman 21:00 Three For The Show 22:00 Star Mazda: Lucas Oil Raceway 23:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13 01:00 Planet Speed 01:30 Espn Films 03:00 Three For The Show 04:00 Grand American Series 2012 05:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13

07:20 Harry’s Law Ii 08:05 2 Broke Girls 08:30 Southland

06:15 Haunting Of Bryan Beckett (Aka The Skeptic) 19:10 What’s Your Number?

21:00 Intouchables 22:55 Beginners 00:40 Confucius

09:15 C.S.I. Miami 10:00 Friends 10:25 PriVIleged 11:10 Alcatraz 12:05 Luck 13:15 Closer, The V 14:00 Harry’s Law Ii 14:45 Southland 15:30 C.S.I. Miami 16:15 Friends 16:40 Pan Am 17:25 Mentalist Iv, The 19:00 Closer, The V 19:45 Harry’s Law Ii 20:30 Two And A Half Men 21:00 Ncis: Los Angeles 22:30 Strike Back I 23:20 Pushing Daisies 00:05 Penthouse, The 01:45 Just Go With It 03:50 Friends 04:15 Pan Am 05:00 Mentalist Iv, The 06:30 Closer, The V

07:45 Piranha 09:30 The Fighte 11:45 Twilight Saga: New Moon 14:00 Pina 16:00 Faces In The Crowd 18:00 Magic Men 19:30 Action Zone 20:00 All Roads Lead Home 22:00 Doors, The: When You’re Strange 00:05 Daring! Tv 04:00 Dreamcatcher

05:45 Micki & Maude 07:40 Cine News 08:00 The Negotiator 10:20 The Amazing Spider Man 12:35 Hollywood 1 On 1 13:10 I Love You Too 17:00 Cine News 17:40 Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance 19:20 Action Zone 19:55 Cowboys & Aliens 22:00 The Double 23:45 The Stone Angel 01:40 L 03:10 13 Assassins

05:25 Chasing Amy 07:20 The Harder They Fall 09:10 Cine News 10:05 Do No Harm 11:40 Rio 13:20 Born Yesterday 15:05 Love Crime 16:55 Films & Stars 17:30 Transformers 3 Transformers: Dark Of The Moon 20:05 Big Miracle 22:00 Friends With Kids 23:55 Straight Story 01:30 Haywire 03:05 Kill Bill: Vol.1 K15 04:55 Cine News

18:45 The Perfect Storm 21:00 Captain America: The First Avenger 23:10 Person Of Interest Prisoner’s Dilemma 00:00 Hostel Part Iii 01:00 Cine News 01:30 La Fille Du Parrain X

By Preston Wilder

All Roads Lead Home (LTV3, 20.00) Belle (Vivien Cardone) is 12. She “lived her life like most girls,” purrs Mr. Trailer Man - but then, disaster! A rainy night, a skidding car. A fatal accident - and motherless Belle starts to change from a puppy-loving girl to a troubled tween lashing out at her helpless dad: “I’m sorry...” “You’re always sorry, you invented sorry!”.

Clearly, Belle requires a better attitude, and is sent to live with her gruff maternal grandpa (Peter Coyote) who owns a horse ranch in the middle of nowhere.

Will she learn to let go of the past, stop blaming herself for Mum’s death and all that other good stuff? Will she also stand up to heartless Grandpa, who actually

orders a ranch-hand to drown a litter of puppies (!) at one point? A mediocre family film (like most family films), but at least it’ll stop your kids from watching porn on the internet for 108 minutes. Made in 2008.

Intouchables (Novacinema4, 21.00) A lot of nonsense has been spouted about this smashhit French comedy, mostly by over-sensitive US critics who think the whole world is as uptight as Americans when it comes to race. The film “flings about the kind of Uncle Tom racism one hopes has permanently exited American screens,” wrote Jay Weissberg in Variety but in fact it does nothing of the kind, crafting an ode

to joie de vivre (a French phrase, natch) through the story of a black man and a white man. The white man (Francois Cluzet) is a rich quadriplegic, paralysed from the neck down; the black man (Omar Sy) is an ex-con who, to his surprise, gets a job as the rich guy’s caretaker. The two bond, of course - and there is indeed a scene (as in Bringing Down the House) where the black person dances to show that Black People Are Groovy but Cluzet is by no means a prig who needs loosening up, the real point being a relationship of equals between two strong, selfish men who have nothing to lose, and only want to have fun. Don’t look at their skin colour, look at what they have in common; anything else would be (yes) racist. Made in 2011.

Intouchables

17:30 MLB Player Poll 18:00 PRE GAME (E) 18:20 CHAMPIONSHIP 2012-13: APOLLON VS ENP (E) 20:20 POST GAME (E) 20:45 STIGMIOTIPA KYPRIAKOU PODOSFEROU 21:00 NHL: Playoffs Date & Time Tentative 23:30 Mobil 1 The Grid

06:00 MTV Morning 12:00 MTV Daily Hits 18:00 MTV Out Loud 24:00 MTV After Hours

06:00 Charge Of The Light Brigade 07:55 Elvis: That’s the Way It Is 09:55 Seven Days In May 12:00 Mutiny on the Bounty 15:00 It Happened At The World’s Fair 16:50 Sweethearts 18:40 Rio Bravo 21:00 Pink Floyd - The Wall 22:35 Hotel Paradiso 00:10 Pink Floyd - The Wall 01:45 Hotel Paradiso 03:20 Sandpiper