Weekly Report 3-7

How FORGIVENESS Strengthens Your Relationship

Tami V. Allen, MS, LPC Contributing Writer

Many individuals think forgiveness is saying, “I forgive you.” But forgiveness is the choice or decision to let go of resentment and the need to seek vengeance against people who hurt you, whether they deserve it or not. However, it does not mean you forget or approve of the action against you or let go of your boundaries and be taken for granted. Before forgiveness can be extended, it must be communicated and understood how the offense has hurt you with suggestions for how to prevent the hurt in the future.

While some minor offenses against you can be forgiven and it’s easy to move forward, some are forgiven but not forgotten and may be unrecoverable. Some of the major hurts that are difficult for relationships to recover from are infidelity, abuse, and broken trust.

The following outcomes are a result of choosing to forgive in your relationship.

1. As we already know, forgiveness releases us from the weight of the burden that eventually leads to resentment. Forgiveness must be extended to move forward and maintain harmony in your relationship. Resentment leads to anger, and anger affects your attitude and behavior toward your partner. This creates the hamster wheel effect of blame which can lead to the downfall of the relationship.

2. Forgiveness can strengthen love and vulnerability in your relationship. Your partner has the potential to hurt you most, because they are the closest to you and know your hot buttons. Forgiveness humbles us and is a decision to sacrificially love your spouse despite their faults. It is important to remember that we are not perfect just as much as our partner is imperfect, and grace must be extended if you want it back. The key is to identify your deal breakers, and decide that all other acts are forgivable when the forgiveness is not taken for granted and the action continues.

3. Forgiveness increases longevity and improves relational satisfaction and is a tool used in conflict resolution. Partners often claim they are each other's “best friend,” but when you think about your relationship with your friends, do you forgive your partner as easily and quickly as you do your friends, or do you keep a tab of his or her wrongdoings?

Forgiving demonstrates love in godly ways. Remember that forgiveness is a process without a predictable amount of time to get there. All actions can be forgivable but not always forgettable or have the ability to move forward in the relationship. You have to communicate boundaries in your relationship for what is acceptable and unacceptable. Choosing to forgive starts with giving yourself grace, time, and space to move through the process. Having the support of your partner, who hurt you, can decrease the recovery time.

My goal as a therapist is to work with individuals and couples to help bridge the gaps in your interpersonal development that subsequently affects your relationships. For more information about me and my services, please visit my website at www.AllenCounselingGroup.com. You can also reach me by email at Tami@AllenCounselingGroup.com or by phone at 713-597-4499.

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Tami Vienn Allen is the owner of Allen Counseling Group and specializes in relationship counseling.

Is It Too Late To Reduce Your Mortgage Payment by Refinancing?

By d-mars.com News Provider

Experts say that with mortgage rates beginning to rise, refinancing your home now might be your last best chance to lower your monthly mortgage payment, as rates remain near all-time lows.

Those who refinanced early in 2021 have already reaped the benefits. Borrowers who refinanced their 30year fixed rate mortgage into another 30-year fixed rate mortgage during the first half of 2021 saved over $2,800 in mortgage payments on principal and interest annually, according to a recent Freddie Mac research report.

But mortgage rates are rising. Indeed, in October 2021, the 30-year fixed-rate

mortgage, which is the most common type of mortgage, rose to its highest point since April, surpassing 3.0%. Freddie Mac forecasts that mortgage rates will continue to rise, averaging 3.5% for the 30-year fixed in 2022. That’s up from an average of 3.0% in 2021.

• So is it time to refinance your home loan? To help you make an informed decision, Freddie Mac is offering answers to commonly asked questions about the refinancing process:

• What does refinancing mean? When you refinance your mortgage, you’re applying for a new mortgage to replace your current one, which will result in a new rate, term and monthly payment. The most common type of refinance is a no cash-out refinance, in which you’re refinancing the remaining balance on your mortgage.

• When should I consider refinancing? Generally speaking, refinances

make the most financial sense when average interest rates are at least half a percentage point lower than the interest rate on your current mortgage. Another reason to consider refinancing is if your financial situation has improved, allowing you to secure a loan with a shorter term and own your home sooner. Finally, if you currently have an adjustable-rate mortgage (ARM) and it’s adjusting upward, you may wish to convert to a fixed-rate mortgage that provides you with the security of consistent payments.

• Is refinancing free? Although refinancing your mortgage could save you money both in the long- and shortterm, it isn’t free. For the most part, refinancing costs are similar to what you paid when you purchased your home, including a loan origination fee. There are required services involved, such as appraisals, and state and local fees that can vary significantly based on where you live. The average cost to refinance is almost $5,000, so you should carefully consider how long you plan to stay in your home to ensure the savings to outweigh the costs.

• Who should handle my refinance? You don’t have to use your current lender to refinance your loan. In fact, it’s in your best interest to shop around and compare multiple lenders’ loan estimates in search of the best terms and cost. It may take more time, but even a difference as small as onequarter of a percentage point can save you thousands of dollars over the life of your home loan. The good news? Rates are often negotiable. In other words, you can ask lenders to match the rate quoted by another lender.

There may be no time like the present to lock in the lowest possible rate and receive the highest monthly savings. To get a sense of what refinancing could save you, access Freddie Mac’s refinance calculator, along with additional homebuying and refinancing resources, at myhome.freddiemac.com.

As with any big financial endeavor, you’ll want to do your homework, look carefully at your short- and long-term goals, and work closely with your lender to do a cost-benefit analysis.

Source: StatePoint

Use Your Tax Refund To Save on Car Shopping

By d-mars.com News Provider

Like many other people, you probably have taxes on your mind right now. Figuring out if you have a tax refund coming your way can be an exciting time. But tax season doesn’t have to be all about crunching numbers and filling out forms.

“If you’re in the market for a newer vehicle, tax sea son can be the perfect time to treat yourself to that upgrade,” says James Wright, vice president of com pany stores at Byrider, the nation’s largest used car and finance network of dealerships.

Wright’s offering a quick rundown of the reasons why tax season is the best season for searching for the right vehicle for you.

Putting your tax refund towards a down payment means a lower total cost: The best reason why you should upgrade your car is the extra cash you get from your refund. According to the IRS, 77% of all 2020 tax returns ended up with refunds, so the odds are in your favor that Uncle Sam will hand you a check and you’ll have more money in your pocket. That means you’ll have more money to spend on a down payment for a car. The higher your down payment, the lower your monthly payments, saving you money in the long run. This is especially true for places that allow you to customize your payment plan, such as Byrider, and you can even use your anticipated tax refund to make a deal before you have the check in hand.

Tax season dealership events and sales: Car dealer ships know that tax refunds mean that people have more money to spend, and will often have special tax season sales to further entice buyers into signing

up for a payment plan. Many will even help you file your taxes. For example, many Byrider locations host Tax Event sales that file taxes and advance customers’ refunds. Take advantage of promotions like these to stretch your tax return even more. To learn more, visit byrider.com.

The extra money in your pocket, the need

season just might change that, even if you don’t have a perfect credit history or tons of money in the bank. That higher down payment can save you some serious cash on a car payment plan in the long run, making you glad you made the most of your refund this tax season,” says Wright.

Source: StatePoint