The DA 04-02-2013

THE DAILY ANTHENAEUM “Little good is accomplished without controversy, but ain’t nobody got time for that.”

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Tuesday April 2, 2013

Volume 4815, Issue 162342

www.THEDAONLINE.com

Mutt’s to reopen in Mountainlair by walter krunkite staff writer

The reality of the Sunnyside renovation didn’t hit a number of students until the official closing of longtime Morgantown mainstay: Mutt’s Sunnyside Pub. After being plagued for weeks with rumored closings, the last night finally became a reality on a fateful Monday in February.

Tears were cried, drinks

were drank, and more than $57,000 of property damaged occurred in the surrounding neighborhood.

When asked for a comment on the night of closing, senior Nick Arthur remarked in a full yell, “Save Mutts!” and then proceeded to vomit on another patron.

“The love from all of these students is breathtaking,” said teary-eyed owner George Mutt, in front of the flaming remains that

were previously a neighbor’s townhouse. “We are happy to work with the school thanks to the gameshow sized check they are giving us, but we will be back!”

As announced today, that promise is now being fulfilled.

At 9 a.m. this morning, a clearly inebriated George Mutt took to the roof of the Mountainlair to declare the official site of the new

Mutt’s:, the Mountainlair itself. The announcement was met by his adoring fans with raucous applause, excited cheers and once again drunken vomit. Fans of Mutt’s may have serious drinking problems.

According to Mutt, the Career Services Center is being renovated and repurposed to become the second bar attached to the University alongside The Side Pocket. The fin-

AGGRESSIVE EXPANSION

ished establishment will be complete with a fully stocked bar, 12 beer taps, two new pool tables and a jukebox that only plays Luke Bryan and 90’s pop songs. The new establishment will be renamed: Mutt’s Mountainlair Pub. A representative for the University explained that it seemed like the best use of the space, since the Career Services Center was mainly used by hopeless Marketing

foreign correspondent

matt sunday/THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

University purchases Morgantown, targets city-wide expansion mackenzie mayo staff writer

Amid all the excitement and success of West Virginia University’s recent Sunnyside buyout, the WVU Board of Directors has made another surprising purchase – the entire city of Morgantown, W.Va. “The majority spoke,” said WVU President James P. Clements. “On the surface, it sounds like an unnecessary investment too big for WVU to chew, but our funds will assuredly regenerate in time.”

Mayor Jim Manilla is thrilled with the $400 million deal.

“WVU has always made

Morgantown what it is,” Manilla said. “Now that will be truer than ever. We are all excited with this new change.”

All residents living in the greater downtown and eastern Willey St. area will be evicted Friday.

Everyone is outraged at the timeliness of their eviction, and students are frantically seeking temporary housing for the final month of their leases.

They must struggle to find a new lease for the following school year while juggling the necessity of finals preparation.

Over time all old buildings will be demolished to make way for University-

owned and operated housing to bring in more revenue for the school, as well as to maintain control over the students.

“It is unfortunate that we must evict students from their homes so abruptly and at such a poorly chosen time, but there was simply no alternative,” Clements said.

Not only will WVU bring in revenue through its new housing units, but the University plans to increase its profits by placing additional taxes on alcohol and tobacco products in addition to overtaking the Morgantown Parking Authority.

Every meter and privateproperty parking space

within city limits will be replaced with the familiar “Decal Parking Only” designation, which will force any student driver to purchase a parking permit even when parking at their own home.

Parking tickets, of course, will cost $20 for every 10 minutes of violation of the new rules.

By 2015, WVU is estimated to make every penny of its money back from the deal.

Students are angered by “WVU’s obvious manipulation” and spoke their minds at a rally instigated by the newly elected Student Government.

see money on PAGE 2

Former DA’er wins ‘pepperoni’ Pulitzer by bitmapped powell tech editor

It should come as no surprise that for internationally recognized food critic Candace Nelson, blogging about food wasn’t a big enough stage.

The current West Virginia University graduate journalism student and former DA prodigy has recently been awarded the Pulitzer Prize for investigative reporting following her earth-shattering expose on pepperoni rolls.

Nelson, who currently works as a reporter for the Charleston Daily Mail, has experienced an unparal-

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INSIDE News: 1, 2 Opinion: 4 A&E: 3 Sports: 6,7. 8 Campus Calendar: 12 Puzzles: 12 Real: 9

“

“That’s cute. I worked at 6:30 a.m. yesterday.

Easter isn’t a holiday for most newspapers.”

Candace Nelson Pulitzer Prize winner

leled ascension to fame and is finding it hard to deal with the underwhelming Charleston market – which doesn’t seem big enough to contain her stardom.

“I’ve been in Charleston two weeks, and I’ve already seen a source out in public.

Maybe this town isn’t as big as I thought,” Nelson said. “(The) Local Chinese place won’t take my (credit

”

card) over phone for delivery. What is this? I have to go there? Like a barbarian?”

Nelson, a West Virginia native, has tried to stay humble throughout the process but admitted it isn’t as easy she though it would be.

“First experience trying to find dinner alone in Charleston. Walk down empty street. Guy approaches me and says I have long pretty

hair. I run,” she said.

“Just saw a man, missing one leg, struggling to get onto the sidewalk with his walker. Bless him. And I’m complaining about shopping. Idiot.”

Nelson’s groundbreaking article, published in the Mar. 19 edition of The Daily Mail, detailed the history of the pepperoni roll, as well as the West Virginia Legislature’s recent attempts to officially recognize it as the state’s official food.

The article, which has registered a Daily Mail-record 9 million hits in two weeks, has gone viral and inspired a generation of young

see pulitzer on PAGE 2

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OPINION PAGE 4

see mutt’s on PAGE 2

SGA expected to declare war on N. Korea by erin sandshrew

Construction crews begin work on High Street for West Virginia University’s most recent expansion.

majors who usually end up at a bar instead of class anyways. Mutt revealed that the idea of moving the bar to the Career Services Center came as a joke after a car drove through a window of the building last semester.

Rumors that Coach Bob Huggins was driving that car are yet to be verified.

Dick Lichen, head of the Campus Police Department, seemed excited

In an effort to promote the safety of the student body, the West Virginia University Student Government Association passed a resolution declaring a preemptive attack on North Korea.

“These transgressions cannot go overlooked, and given the fragile state of diplomatic affairs between North Korea and SGA, we have decided to take action before it is too late,” said James Zucchini, SGA’s former vice president and current foreign affairs director.

“If we don’t do this now, there may not be a tomorrow to do it.”

The details of the resolution are still being worked out, but one of the primary aspects of it involves Jonathan Kimble, the Mountaineer Mascot, dropping into North Korean territory under the guise of a bear-hunting trip.

“We don’t think they’ll expect it – not even for a second,” said president Bryan Champion. “This is just one way to show them that we really are starting a revolution.”

Zucchini said the preemptive strike will be a costly one, which is why he has enlisted the financial backing of Republican Presidential candidate and billionaire business magnate Donald Trump.

“I spoke with James about the war and SGA’s intentions, and I’ve got to say I’m dang proud of them,” he said.

“We’ve got a bunch of sissies in the White House and in Washington, and I’m not confident in their ability to lead. SGA will be the difference, and I’m glad I can help in any way.”

WVU President James P. Clements said the University will not issue an official comment regarding SGA’s position at this time, but he did tout the University’s continued dedication to being one of the nation’s strongest academic research institutions in America.

“I’m not too concerned about what’s going on in North Korea,” he said.

“We’re fighting an even bigger battle here at home – how to get West Virginia University bigger, better and ranked higher.”

see war on PAGE 2

Couples find true love through viral Twitter account

By Biased Betty

#hightechkeyboardgangster

During spring break ,students were able to unveil their true feelings and share their secret crushes through the pervasive Twitter account @ crushesWVU. The account provided students the opportunity to anonymously share their inner desires, no matter how outlandish.

Posts left some flattered, embarrassed or highly offended.

“It’s kind of cool, like some chick out there wants me,”said Kyle from KA. “She wants our chest hair to tangle together.

Weird, but I dig it.”

Others said they were not impressed with the tweets directed toward them.

“At first it was nice, I was really flattered, but then people kept taking about sitting on faces and it just got weird,” said the attractive blonde bartender from Sports Page. “Now I’m re-

ally hoping those posts weren’t about me.”

Despite the mixed emotions, one new couple said they have been able to form a budding romance from the Twitter account.

“He wrote, ‘that hot blonde that sits in front me in anthropology in Delta Gamma...’ I just knew it had to be me,” said the hot blonde girl from anthropology class. “Then, he went on to say: ‘sit on my face.’ I was swooning.”

From there the couple was able to connect via Twitter and said they made arrangements for a dinning hall lunch date prior to their anthropology class.

“I’m just so glad I sent that tweet, dude. Like, I’m sitting here with a beautiful girl in this lovely dining hall,” said Trent Brospeh.

“I am living the dream.”

While the Twitter account has been deleted since students’ return to campus, the budding

see love on PAGE 2

A NEW KIND OF REVENUE Tobacco sales are coming to both the WVU Coliseum and Milan Puskar Stadium as early as next season.

SPORTS PAGE 6

THE DAILY ATHENEUM

2 | BREWS

Tuesday April 2, 2013

Bars face changes in midst of policy changes Malcom “Mal” Reynolds resident wine & spirits expert

PLAID sunday/TMz

James Zucchini meets with Donald Trump, former Republican Presidential hopeful and proponent of bombing North Korea, at a charity fundraiser in New York.

war

Continued from page 1 Perry Jarvis, a junior political science major, said it is stern action such as this that truly shows SGA’s ability to make a difference on campus.

“The only reason I voted in the most recent elections was to make sure I’d be safe going to class,” he

said. “Thankfully, now, we have a government that’s not afraid to send a clear message.”

Trump said if nothing else, he hopes to send a clear message to the Republican base regarding his stance on North Korea.

“I’m going to make a serious run in 2016. Forget about Rubio, it’s going to be Trump,” he said.

“We don’t need these

pansies ruining our country. I’m American made and American paid. Now is my time to shine.”

Trump also said he hopes to use North Korea as a springboard for attacking other countries causing problems for the United States – like China.

“Today Korea, tomorrow China and beyond.” danewsroom@mail.wvu.edu

Cats take over South Park

Reports have been flooding in about the feline population in South Park.

In the past week, hundreds of cats have swarmed the area, begging for scraps of food and belly scratches.

“We’ve never seen a problem like this before.

We have no clue where they’re all coming from,” said Morgantown chief of police Ed Preston. “We’ve called in Animal Control, but they’re coming in faster than officials can catch them.”

The local citizens, stu-

mutt’s

Continued from page 1 about the move. “Campus PD is very happy about having Mutt’s in our jurisdiction,” Captain Lichen remarked. “Now when we want to give out ridiculous numbers of public intoxication citations, we can just sit outside.”

pulitzer

Continued from page 1 journalists to follow the in the footsteps of Nelson.

She has been clear in defining where she stands compared to her admirers and aspiring co-workers.

“Guess who has two thumbs and two stories on a front page at the @Newseum?” she tweeted earlier this month.

Nelson, who spurned offers from The New York Times and Food Network to cover hard-hitting news like “Pepperoni-Gate” at the Daily Mail, said she often finds herself disappointed with the current work The DA has been doing.

When she heard The DA

dents and permanent residents alike have been finding ways to solve the problem. Some have been treating them as pests and shooing them off, while others have taken a very different approach.

“I’ve taken in 20 so far. I plan to take in more. These poor cats need love and attention, I plan to give them a permanent home,” said South Park resident Paige Turner. “PETA has already contacted me to give me an award for ‘Most Cats Rescued in South Park,

W.Va.’” Officials are warning residents not to interact with these vicious creatures.

“They may look cute and fluffy, but we have no idea where they’ve come from. For all we know, there’s a black hole transporting them here,” said Morgantown Wildlife Removal representative John Smith.

“We advise all of you to stay inside, lock your doors, and whatever you do, don’t (...).”

—cll

Inspired by the move, popular Morgantown bar Vice Versa is eyeing a spot within the Lair for a second location. According to the owner, “We’ve been looking for the right place, and the Lair just may be it. Plus Burger King only needs one more health violation to be shut down, so that could be the perfect spot”. Chik-fil-a refused to comment on this

possibility.

Even though the face of Sunnyside is changing forever, it appears that WVU has not turned its back on a storied history of drunken shenanigans. Soon students will be able enjoy a drink at Mutt’s Mountainlair Pub. Just try not to step in the vomit.

didn’t print Monday – standard operating procedure for the day following a break – she was quick to remind the staff how important work was in comparison to family or religious beliefs.

“That’s cute. I worked at 6:30 a.m. yesterday. Easter isn’t a holiday for most newspapers,” she said.

It has been a long road for Nelson, and her precedent at The DA is one that has yet to be matched.

Former editor-in-chief David Ryan, who preceded Nelson, explained that despite his own excellence, Nelson’s work is far and above anything else ever produced at the student publication.

“You have to understand, The DA has been around for

125 years,” Ryan said. “What Candace was able to accomplish in just a couple of years has changed the path of the DA, and the field of journalism, forever.

We literally had to hire extra students just to field phone calls from major, national publications trying to woo her away – and that was before she was editorin-chief,” he said.

Pepperoni rolls may have been the key to Nelson’s first Pulitzer, but there’s no telling what heavy-hitting subject she’ll tackle next.

What remains clear, though, is she is a tour de force that will continue to shape the future of journalism – one day at a time.

Over spring break, West Virginia University and the city of Morgantown decided it was time to collaborate to fix a few issues of underage drinking, DUIs and general alcohol abuse in the regional area.

“First off, we decided it was a good idea to go ahead and close down The Cellar, which is one of the most popular clubs on High St, especially for students under the age of 21,” said Jose Cuervo, WVU Director of Battling Booze. “Also, out of the 15 bars and clubs downtown, we have taken away alcohol and liquor licenses to at least two of them so far including Bent Willey’s and Rock Top Bar & Grill.”

Cuervo said the changes will be in effect starting April 4 and will continue until the university and the city see a positive transformation.

“We aren’t doing this to punish anyone particularly, just to let students know they should be studying, not knocking back brews or chugging,” Cuervo said.

Cuervo explained a lot of students have been caught using fake identification to purchase alcohol, as well as have been caught under the

influence in dorms without proper identification, which has led to University administrators to either expel students or fine them anywhere from $200 to $600.

“This behavior needs to change; students need to understand that they’re here to study, not to have social lives,” he said. “This year’s freshmen seem to the be worst ever. I’ve seen them in the gym practicing keg stands.”

Shirley Temple, a junior education major a WVU expressed her appreciation to the city and university for coming up with such a great plan to help eliminate alcohol abuse.

“I am so happy the Cellar is getting closed down,” she said. “Last week my underage roommate went there.

The next day, I found her hungover on her bedroom floor with a piece of pizza stuck to her face.”

Temple’s roommate had apparently given her high heels to a homeless person the night before.

“She had to wear bandages on her feet for more than a week because of the horrible blisters she got from walking around barefoot for so long,” she added.

Joe “Captain” Morgan from the Morgantown Police Department has been a

part of an undercover program that has been monitoring students and their alcohol usage since 2005.

“I’ve seen some things, man,” Morgan said. “These underage students - they’re primal when they drink. It’s terrifying.”

Morgan added part of his job in the undercover program is to pretend to be a student and party like one in order to understand the severity of the alcohol issue among underage students.

“It’s been a sacrifice, following these lunatics around,” he said. “I’ve given up a lot – done a lot of unwanted shots of 151 – all in the name of understanding this insanity.”

Morgan hopes the new laws will put an end to the chaos, including ending a dangerous trend known colloquially as “day drinking.”

“They are simply out of control,” Morgan said.

Several undercover officers have been hospitalized while investigating the party scene. All are in need of liver transplants.

“I’ll never forget those officers – they gave everything for this job,” he said. “These students aren’t even sorry for party rocking.” dontsendusanemail@mail.wvu.edu

Supermarket Sweep to return to TV, will host from Morgantown

danewsroom@mail.wvu.edu

wearejustkidding@mail.wvu.edu

web

David Ruprecht, the long-time host of ‘Supermarket Sweep’ will return to his role this summer when the show begins shooting a new season.

by candy starr a&e writer

The popular, iconic game show featuring supermarkets and crazed shoppers is returning to television and will host live from Morgantown.

Supermarket Sweep, which has been off the air since 2004, has been picked up for a two-season deal on ABC and will begin filming this summer.

Pete Blair, an ABC television executive, said the show’s cult following and relatable setup provided the network with a unique opportunity to put a modern spin on a long-time classic.

“Basically, we listened to our viewers, and what we found out was there is a serious void for a relatable game show,” he said.

“When you watch ‘The Voice’ or ‘The Price is Right’ you don’t really get the same feeling you do when you watch ‘Supermarket Sweep.’ We want to bring that feeling back.”

Though ABC has yet to disclose where the show

love

Continued from page 1 romances are not lost.

Brospeh and hot blonde girl said they hope to continue their relationship and turn it into a true WVU love

will be filmed, The DA has learned the show will be shot on location at a supermarket in Morgantown.

Documents obtained by The DA through a Freedom of Information Act request shed some light on the upcoming program, including a plan to get students involved.

In an email between WVU President James P. Clements and Blair, Clements mentions the need to get students involved.

“We think getting a regular segment with students will provide a mutual benefit both to us and to you,” he wrote.

“It’s critical we get students involved.”

The show has retained long-time host David Ruprecht to return to his former duties. Ruprecht, who hosted the show 1990-1995 and 2000-2003 said he is thrilled to have the opportunity to return to the show that brought him so much happiness over the years.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment for longer than you can imagine,” he said. “When I got the call,

I dropped to my knees in a state of sheer jubilation.

I haven’t been able to let go, and after all these years, I’m finally getting another shot.”

Cal Hobbs, a sophomore biology student, said he hopes to get an opportunity to be a contestant on the show.

“I grew up watching that show and the fact that it’s not only coming back, but that it’s also going to be shooting in Morgantown, is just awesome,” he said.

“I’m going to do everything I can to get a spot on an episode.”

Three pairs of contestants battle each other in a series of question rounds, which ultimately lead up to the sweep – which entails one member of each team racing through the store to collect goods.

The team that finishes with the highest price tag wins.

For more information on the upcoming show, visit ABC’s website at www.abc. com.

story.

“This is the real deal,” she said. “I think it’s love.”

And Broseph and hot blonde girl were not the only two to act on last week’s tweets.

Monday, students were spotted in the Mountainlair

using an alternative form of seating.

“I don’t get it. What is this weird fetish going on?” said Mountainlair security team member Penny Loafer. “I don’t get it.”

danewsroom@mail.wvu.edu

daloveroom@mail.wvu.edu

THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

Tuesday April 2, 2013

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT | 3

Harlem Shake craze affects local burger hotspot

Tailpipes, a High Street favorite among haters of arteries, is closed indefinitely due to a recent outbreak of insanity following the unveiling of its latest dessert, the Harlem Shake.

by cranky oldman resident cynic

Call a mechanic: Tailpipes requires immediate repair.

The famous Morgantown burger joint – noted for its outlandish toppings and its homemade-style milkshakes – is under investigation by the West Virginia Department of Health and will be closed until further notice.

The investigation was instigated by a recent addition to the restaurant’s lineup of shakes.

The newest offering, dubbed the “Harlem Shake,�

allegedly caused several patrons to immediately break out in pointless, incessantly repetitive dance while a decidedly average sample looped and set the mood for the outbreak of spontaneous insanity. “The initial outbreak really scared me,� said owner/ head chef Bart Hibbs. “At first, I thought the dancers were just high – like most of our customers – but then I realized the dance was somewhat coordinated. I just had to film it and put it on YouTube.�

Hibbs’ video immediately attracted a large audience, racking up more than

400,000 views in a few hours.

Unfortunately for the burger connoisseur, one of the viewers was not impressed. “I immediately recognized the mematic occurrence,� said Safe T. Mann, head of the West Virginia Department of Health. “This was not just a coordinated effort among college students with completely skewed priorities; this was a direct result of Tailpipes’ new shake.�

Upon further analysis, the Department of Health’s laboratory in Charleston, W.Va., determined that the shake was, indeed, to blame.

While the milkshake appeared at first glance to be of the plain vanilla variety, chemist Molly Cule uncovered a shocking discovery. “There are no ingredients in this milkshake at all,� Cule said. “There is no substance.

It doesn’t even make sense that somebody would buy this.�

Hibbs said Cule’s diagnosis certainly holds merit when considering the vapid nature of the dance itself. “The dance was startling, but why?� Hibbs said. “There was no content.

There was nothing memorable about it. Thankfully, I had my iPhone handy, and

now I can relive each pointless step.�

Hibbs refused comment on the business’ future, instead opting to rewatch the video a 50th time to see if he could find any content worth examining. “I hope that, if Tailpipes reopens, no student, no adult, no child – nobody – will purchase this shake again,� Cule said. “All things considered, it is a total waste of your money and your time. You might as well drink a glass of air – there is at least proven substance in that.�

For fans of Tailpipes’ famous peanut butter, aspar-

File Photo

agus, crabcake and alfredo sauce burger, called the DeLorean, this news undoubtedly elicits a passionate response. “Meh,� said West Virginia University student Dee Runkrun. “You can’t really taste anything on the burgers, anyway. I mean, can a burger really be a burger if you can’t taste the beef?�

Time will tell if students like Runkrun will enjoy a DeLorean or a Challenger in their futures.

For now, Tailpipes is rusted shut thanks to the Harlem Shake. dont.sue.me@mail.wvu.edu

‘Spring Breakers’ incites riots, excessive drug usage among viewers

by Riff Raff Rabble Rouser

A rise in gun sales. More arrests than ever. Several well-known drug dealers found dead. All the result of the craziest spring break in history.

Thousands of college students flocked to Florida last week in an attempt to escape the pressures of school.

Students from across the U.S. made the trek to the lower part of the country to celebrate the most revered part of the year in both the

college experience and the American dream.

However, police were unable to keep up with the rise in violence and crime this year. “I’ve never seen such a rowdy group of kids. They were committing violent crimes faster than we could arrest them. There was just too much ground to cover,� said Miami Beach chief of police Ron White. “It wasn’t just alcohol and small-league drugs – it was extreme violence, often resulting in murder.�

This all coincides with

the release of the Harmony Korine’s film “Spring Breakers.� The movie, starring James Franco, Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens, has inspired students from all over the country to let loose – and start killing people.

The movie, a trashy film that demeans American pop culture, follows the spring break plans of four girls. The group parties hard for three days.

The fourth day, they are arrested for illegal substance abuse and bailed out by a local drug dealer named

Alien (Franco). Alien introduces the girls to large amounts of guns and oldschool Brittany Spears.

Drinking vast amounts of alcohol and experimenting with different drugs is nothing new, according to White. But the past two weeks have left Miami Beach and the surrounding areas a bloody, gory mess. “We’ve taken to dressing in full-on protective wear.

None of the police were hurt, or even threatened, but anything could have happened,� White said.

Brittany Murphy, a Uni-

We’re hiring

For more information, stop by our offices or talk to one of us personally. You can easily identify a DA editor by their look of defeat or smell of desperation.

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versity of Illinois student arrested and charged with second-degree manslaughter, said she was trying to fit in. “Everyone else was doing it. There were three main drug rings that were obviously warring with each other. I just wanted the thrill,� she said. “By the end of it, all the main drug guys were dead, which is helping clean up crime, right?�

After dozens of arrests and initial body identifications, the body of Gucci Mane was found soaking in a bathtub of his own blood,

surrounded by a posse of women.

Mane has been on the most wanted list in the Miami Beach police department for the past nine months. “This has been an experience I’ll never forget. I’ve made so many new friends, and the people are so nice here,� said Jeremy Young, a Marshall University student charged with armed assault. “Spring break forever, ya’ll.� this.is.real.life@mail.wvu.edu

THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

4 | ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Tuesday April 2, 2013

Kanye West announces crucifixion upon release of ‘I Am God’

by Confucius speaker of truth

Many were appalled when renowned rapper and producer Kanye West announced his new album title, “I Am God.” However, this is not some kind of ironic and artistic joke.

West’s ego has not just surpassed imaginable heights; he is the first true believer in his own religion.

“See, I truly discovered my greatness through ‘My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy,’” West said. “But it was during the making of ‘Watch the Throne’ that I literally saw the stars align.

“I know that this final album (if that is what you wish to call it) is destined to be ‘the’ album. Yes, I am God, and I have reached the limits of my human body. ‘I Am God’ will be the climax of all of our lives here on Earth, and if I am to ascend my music, love and self any further, I must discard the mortal vessel that is Kanye West.”

West explained the album would be released, or rather performed, as soon as Kim Kardashian, the bearer of his child, goes into labor this July.

The rapper has already broken ground for his temporary quarters at Stonehenge, where he and Kardashian will meditate and patiently await his final concert and crucifixion upon a diamond cross.

“Yes, Kim will die. We all know that even the most flawless of female beings could not live to birth the reincarnation of Kanye West,” West said.

Kardashian appeared unconcerned about West’s dramatic claims regarding her health and the immortality of the child.

guymeetsworld.wordpress.com

This Rolling Stone cover is not a joke. Kanye West really is Jesus.

“It’s totally official; it’s a girl! I just got my seismograph,” Kardashian said.

“And get this, the doctor said, like, I could be back in shape after like, two months or something.”

West has demanded

the highest exclusivity of the performance and requested that absolutely no electronics or any documentation of the event be recorded – except for 15 carefully selected professional painters and a sin-

gle audio recording device designed by NASA. West has funded NASA research for the purest form of music recording – diamond.

“This recording will undoubtedly be phenome-

nal,” said Andy Romero, scientist at the NASA Audio Development Laboratory. “The concept is comparable to that of vinyl records in that a material is imprinted with a code representing a band of fre-

quencies, which can later be read and made audible by another device.

“The difference in using diamond as the material, of course, is the crystalline precision of the imprinting process and the indestructible nature of diamond.

Not only will diamond sound better than any other recording available to us today, but it will actually produce sound 1,000 times better than the quality of the original sound recorded,” Romero said.

The diamond recording device has been fully constructed, but the playback device is only halfway to completion.

According to West, there is not enough time or wealth to complete it until year 2020.

“Why 2020?” West said.

“Because that is the year that all becomes clear.”

If this wasn’t enough to get you excited about “I Am God,” the record will also include an astounding 2,439 pages of liner notes in epic poem form.

“I’ve been writing these notes since I can remember, since I learned to write,” West said. “With these liner notes or ‘The Notes,’ as I call them, human beings will have all they need to follow my path to immortal nirvana. Whether they are able to reach this state or not is another question.”

“The Notes” will be published upon completion of the diamond playback device. The diamond record of “I Am God” will then be looped indefinitely in West’s church in the sky, which he also believes will be achievable by 2020.

Jay-Z has taken an indefinite vow of silence. let.us.finish@mail.wvu.edu

Due to its utter perfection, ‘Bioshock Infinite’ dooms future of video game industry Gaye Murr

couch occupier

Three Exams?

Two Papers?

No food?

Dining Period s Ending Fall 2013

Following the release of the incomparably great “Bioshock Infinite,” game studios and publishers the world round are cashing out and throwing in the towel.

“Bioshock Infinite,” released March 26 earlier this year, is a fantastical tale of high adventure, companionship and the unconquerable yearnings of the human spirit. Throughout the game, Irrational Games developers weave these threads into a seamlessly blended actionadventure story which is at once gripping, cerebral and emotional.

“I honestly don’t know how anyone could expect us to move forward after this,” said interim Electronic Arts CEO Larry Probst. “What do you expect us to do, s--- out some more Madden games?

God, it’s a miracle nobody has called us on our commercial crassness before. I guess we can make another military shooter where big dudes shout at each other in photorealistic barren wastelands, but why in the hell would anyone play that anymore?” “‘Medal of Honor: Warfighter?’ Really? What were we even thinking?” Probst grumbled. “Who really gives a s--- about the Frostbite engine anyway? It doesn’t let you ride sweet skylines in a

rad floating city.”

“Bioshock Infinite” also represents the triumph of good ideas and a passionate staff working in tandem to create a truly special experience. Unlike anything that has come before, “Infinite” represents the absolute pinnacle of the fusion of gameplay, visuals and audio. The game’s thrilling aerial vistas, exciting and complex areas and top-notch voice acting belie its astronomical production values, as well as the fanatical attention to detail that makes the game world so rich.

“I’m not sure what their plan was in making this game,” said Steven Masters, lead designer of “Assassin’s Creed III.” “They don’t appear to have held back any features in this release, and I don’t think they released several quasi-sequels to gradually refine their gameplay from the original ‘Bioshock.’ Now we will be expected to wait and put everything we’ve been working on into one game, rather than hold features back and incrementally bilk our customers? That’s not a sustainable business model.”

“And I hear their game wasn’t unplayable on release before a massive patch,” Masters said. “What gives? I played through the whole game without seeing a single bug. Witchcraft, if you ask me.”

Masters is not the only

PARKING AVAILABLE

critic of “Bioshock Infinite.”

“SimCity’s” lead designer, Stone Librande, also had some harsh words about the game.

“Where is the always-on DRM?” Librande demanded, “Where are the debilitating server issues? I don’t know where they get off, but Irrational Games simply released a great game that worked from day one. Why would anyone tolerate more of EA’s train wreck releases after this?”

But developers aren’t the only group of game developers outraged by “Bioshock Infinite.” Writers from around the world are tearing their hair out at the newlyraised bar set by Ken Levine, its writer and creative director. The game’s story, at once grand and personal in scope, is a master class in interactive storytelling, one which galls writers who were content to rest on their laurels.

“Here we were, happy to just stand by and try to cram emotions into the story every so often rather than allow them to unfold as an integral part of the narrative,” said Mac Walters, lead writer of “Mass Effect 3.”

“I mean, I just showed the audience a little boy and then basically commanded them to care about him for the rest of the game. These jerks really drew on the strength of the interactive medium to make you care about your partner and come to care about

By Celeste Lantz

diningservices.wvu.edu/dining_plans HEALTHY

All Mountain Line buses are equipped with bike racks.

W

V

U

Dining Services

www.busride.org

mawheresthemeatloaf@aol.com

Lindsay Lohan to visit Morgantown during upcoming summer tour wait, no, the other tiny, blonde one

We’ve Gotcha Covered.

her on your own, rather than being commanded to do so from the very start. It’s total bulls---. They didn’t even save the really good stuff for exploitative DLC. Why didn’t they charge their customers for satisfactory closure?”

Risk-averse CEOs were also aghast at “Bioshock Infinite’s” apparent lack of hesitation in dealing with complex, mature themes such as racism, religion, American exceptionalism and class exploitation. Bobby Kotick, CEO and President of Activision Blizzard, shook his head wistfully at the prospect of including such themes in his company’s games.

“We’ve always operated with the fear that something we do would offend someone, and as such we’ve never really been interested in making any thought-provoking material that might aggravate some groups,” Kotick said. “Well, now we see that a game can examine the questions of what makes a civilization just and what it means to be American, which pretty much torpedoes our chances of excreting more copies of ‘Call of Duty’ every year. I mean, hell, these guys ask tough questions, and everyone seems to be taking notice.

“Please don’t start wanting intellectually stimulating games, guys, I’m begging you.”

Thriving pop star Lindsay Lohan announced her summer concert tour early Monday morning to a room full of press and fans dying to hear the news.

“My first stop will be in Morgantown, W.Va., at the No. 1 party school, West Virginia University,” Lohan said.

“It just feels right.”

According to Lohan, Charlie Sheen will appear with the star to do his absolutely hilarious stand-up comedy routine prior to her much-awaited performance. This is not the first time the duo has teamed up, though, and we’ll leave it at that.

Lohan will perform her Billboard Chart toppers such as “Confessions of a Shoplifter” and “Addicts ‘R Us.” Sheen plans on doing the same routine everyone has seen since he began attempt-

ing comedy.

Lohan also mentioned a special tune for the Mountaineers, which she is currently working on in studio, entitled “Burning Couches and Weed.”

Recently, Lohan also topped news stories after stealing 17 Sticky Finger candy bars from a Family Dollar in New Mexico, after police say she was confused on her own whereabouts.

“She had no idea where she was,” said the police chief.

“She was just sitting near the back dumpster surrounded by candy wrappers.”

Lohan, who will star in an upcoming Lifetime movie “Liz and Dick” (no, really), says she is almost as excited to visit the Mountain State as she is to go to rehab.

Tickets for the concert can be purchased at 1-800-WASHUPS for $1.00 each. go.to.rehab@mail.wvu.edu

5

SPORTS

fans of da sports

Tuesday April 2, 2013

FEEL FREE TO TEXT US ANYTIME

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Luck regrets move to Big 12 by rohn jaese i hate img

After heading into its first year in the Big 12 Conference, things didn’t quite go as planned for West Virginia athletics.

Athletic Director Oliver Luck believed, as many others did, that with the talent the Mountaineers had they wouldn’t have any trouble blending in. But historic losing streaks led the WVU football and men’s basketball teams to their worst seasons in a decade, and the men’s soccer team failed to reach the NCAA tournament with an experienced, senior-led team in the Mid-American Conference.

“Looking back, maybe we made a mistake,” Luck told The Daily Athenaeum. “But we’re not looking back. We know we have to stick this out and con-

tinue moving forward in the Big 12 Conference, even though our results on the field weren’t exactly what we expected.

“And we know, because we’ve tried to get out. We begged the Big East to take us back, but they wouldn’t do it.”

Big East Conference commissioner Mike Aresco said Monday that WVU officials reached out to the conference following the Mountaineers’ blowout loss to Kansas State in football in October because “the Big 12 ruined their halftime fireworks show.”

But Aresco ignored their calls, saying they were more focused on trying to get Tulsa into the league.

“It was like they were our girlfriend, and they broke up with us thinking that this other guy was a lot cuter and was the star athlete,” Aresco said. “But then they

realized the other guy had s----y refs and way better athletes and came crawling back to us.”

Luck mentioned that, looking back at how everything went down between West Virginia and the Big East, they could have handled things a little differently. And now that they want to come back, it’s come back to haunt them.

“I mean, I always thought that we would stay friends. If we wanted to go back, I just assumed they would take us back,” Luck said. “You have to understand; when we tried to get into the Big 12, it was the one conference we thought we wouldn’t get into. I couldn’t stop reading the email to everyone at the Big East meetings when they told us we got in.”

WVU made one final attempt to get back into the Big East fol-

lowing the end of the men’s basketball team’s seven-game losing streak to end the season.

According to Big East officials, WVU representatives showed up at the Big East tournament and pleaded that they let them come back.

“We just wanted to make sure we had all of our bases covered. We wanted to make sure that they didn’t want us back after they had some more time to think about it,” Luck said. “I guess we just have to move on and hope that we can move forward with what we have in the Big 12. We have a lot of talent in football, and hopefully we can bounce back and be successful.

“Wait, you mean Geno, Tavon AND STEDMAN are all gone?! mark wednesday/wednesdazed.net Who’s left? Oh, no …”

West Virginia Athletic Director Oliver Luck has come to terms with the fact that WVU will never, ever, ever get imnotjohnraese@dominionpost.com back together with the powerful Big East Conference.

ON HIS OWN

Stadium, Coliseum to begin cigarette sales

by James Carvawful Squirts editor #looksbad #smellsbad

jake spavital/dana’s best friend

West Virginia head coach Dana Holgorsen will not have any assistant coaches this season.

Holgorsen to coach 2013 alone, tired of assistant coaches leaving staff

By Tim BadThen Heath miller Twin

After the departure of four assistants and the demotion of another, West Virginia head coach Dana Holgorsen is fed up with his coaching staff situation.

Holgorsen hired five new assistants to replace the departed but has now decided to start from scratch.

The second-year head coach explained to Daily Athenaeum Sports Editor Alfredino Zetticci Saturday that he has decided to coach the 2013 season by himself, with no assistant coaches.

“You know, ever since (former assistant) Jake (Spavital) left, you know, I’ve had no one to watch Two and a Half Men with at the hotel,” Holgorsen said. “We would always try to do that night whatever that Charlie Sheen guy did in the episode. Now, (assistant coach) Joe (DeForest) just wears his leather jacket in my office and keeps telling me to re-

lax. That sucks, man.

“I just think it’s best to move forward on my own.”

The Mountaineers lost five straight games last season, after winning their first five and climbing all the way to No. 4 in the polls.

The offseason has been full of coaching changes and Holgorsen is excited to finally stop the carousel.

He’s confident West Virginia will be better moving forward with him solely in control.

“Heck, Joe (DeForest) should be happy I let him keep his job as long as he did,” Holgorsen said. “I’ll make sure the guys on defense at least show a little bit of effort next season. Plus, (former cornerback) Pat Miller is gone, so there’s that for us to build on. I’m looking forward to the challenge.”

The West Virginia defense struggled mightily in the offensive-oriented Big 12 Conference a year ago, forcing Holgorsen to take away the play-calling duties from De-

Forest midseason.

West Virginia University Athletic Director Oliver Luck was surprised by the news of Holgorsen firing all of his assistants, but supports the head coach’s decision.

“I fully support coach Holgorsen with this decision. I was going to help out with some of the coaching last season, but was too busy attending my son’s games,” Luck said. “It will be interesting to see how the student athletes respond to a coaching change of this magnitude.”

The Mountaineers will be forced to replace many starters on offense this season, due to the departure of many seniors.

Holgorsen will have his hands full with not only determining new starters, but also instruct every position during practice.

“I was assistant for 17 years ... it’s really not that difficult of a job,” Holgorsen said. “It’s easy. No one asks you to cut your hair, or why

you wear black shirts, or when you’re going to buy a house, or any of that.

“I’m just going to drink of lot of Red Bull and never sleep.”

West Virginia’s spring practice sessions are in full swing and the Mountaineers’ annual spring game is just weeks away.

After clearing his throat for nearly 10 minutes, Holgorsen admitted that one man will still roam the sidelines with him.

“My good buddy Alex Hammond, you know, is still going to stand beside me and wear the headset,” Holgorsen said. “I don’t even know why he wears that thing, you know. It’s not like he is a coach or anything. I don’t want to ruin his dreams, though.

“We usually just play One Direction songs through his headset to keep him occupied. It should be a great season, though.”

DaddyGonHustle@hotmail.com

Miss me yet, WVU? GVZ speaks out gregory van zant two-time big east coach of the year

Allow me to reintroduce myself.

The name – Greg Van Zant. My initials are legendary. I was the 1997 AND 2003 Big East Coach of the Year.

I fought off unemployment nine years longer than most people, including my wife, thought I could.

Yet, the time came last year. Even despite never – not once – losing to powerhouse schools such as Iona, Maryland Eastern Shore, New York and New Jersey Technical Institute, or Quinnipiac in my entire career, I was fired from my position as head coach of the West Virginia University baseball team.

Absurd, I know. I was as puzzled as you are. I single-handedly created Jedd Gyorko, for Christ’s sake.

Life since that devil Oliver Luck uprooted me from my kingdom has been interesting. I spent the first 13 days after in full uniform, chained to a metal folding chair inside an empty Hawley Field dugout. I then spent 11 hours straight standing in the third-base coaches’ box waving home imaginary players and giving signs to a stray dog I found.

Dogs, I soon realized, struggle with bunting.

The dog eventually ran away, and security hand-cuffed and escorted

me off the premises shortly after I began reading my career coaching statistics over the Hawley Field loudspeaker.

It was then when I realized my life must go on. And oh, what I’ve accomplished in this past year of unemployment: zz Applied for a graduate school program to study sport management.

Didn’t get in. zz Made three fake Twitter accounts. Forgot the passwords to two of them, though. zz Time for a quick plug: Check out the third one, @grumpycat. zz Became a high school and Division II baseball umpire. zz Reported Randy Mazey to the NCAA for hiring a pitching coach. Everyone knows you can’t do that. zz Cried. zz Sold my garage full of old WVU baseball uniforms and equipment.

Made $182.75, which I’m putting toward a fund to buy a used Toyota Rav4. I’m getting a great deal on it. zz Made a Kyle Wiggs bobblehead doll out of popsicle sticks, string, a miniature St. Louis Cardinals hat and Brady Wilson’s old bubble gum. zz Updated my Facebook profile picture. zz Started a jogging routine. zz Stopped a jogging routine. zz Sent 1,831 direct messages to Jedd Gyorko. If he would answer me, I would stop. zz Spent 3 days attempting to cre-

ate the perfect hoagie, which I named “The Golden Greg.” zz Cleaned off my 1997 Big East Coach of the Year trophy and had professional pictures taken with it.

Yes, there are many weeks during which I do little except lay on my couch in full uniform, eating peanuts and watching the CMT Hot 30 countdown. I dream of how much fun I would’ve had teaching Augie Garrido and the other Big 12 coaches how to play the game the Greg Van Zant way.

To my players: if you ever need me, I’m only a text message away. I know you miss me – especially you Brady Wilson – but remember that Oliver Luck isn’t the athletic director of your heart. He can’t kill the love we once shared.

I hope that one day we can all meet again for breakfast, lunch and dinner at the Golden Corral. Just like the good ol’ days. Except you’re paying.

As for you, Coach Mazey, those uniforms make me want to puke.

Of course you’re winning. If I would’ve scheduled cupcake teams like Texas Tech and Kansas State, I would’ve won more games, too.

Anyone can drive a Porsche after the mechanic spent 17 marginal, underachieving years building it.

Until next year, Gregory Van Zant TWO-TIME Big East Coach of the Year Creator of Jedd Gyorko

With West Virginia having so much success with beer sales this past year at Milan Puskar Stadium, the WVU administration and athletic department feels that another new experience could really bring in tons of revenue.

Starting next season, you will be able to purchase a pack of cigarettes for your smoking pleasure at Milan Puskar Stadium and the Coliseum. While it may not receive the hype beer did, WVU feels that cigarettes will only add to the experience of watching Mountaineer football and basketball.

“We are incredibly excited about this opportunity and where this idea could go,” said West Virginia Athletic Director Oliver Luck. “In my years at West Virginia, I couldn’t tell you how long this idea has been fishing through my head. Now that it has finally taken off, I can’t wait for the reaction students provide for this very important occasion.”

Buying a pack of cigarettes will not be very costly, either.

Starting next season only, you will be able to purchase a pack of cigarettes for a whopping $5.

“A lot of students have complained about how expensive beer gets at home events,” Luck added. “With this cheap price, we really hope cigarettes becomes the

new way of life in Morgantown. Even if you haven’t touched a cigarette in your life, we hope that your peers can find a way for you to enjoy some WVU football and basketball in a new way.”

With this breakthrough, WVU will be the only institution in the country to provide both beer and cigarettes at home athletic events.

“I don’t want to brag about that, but I feel like this is simply genius on our part,” Luck said. “In a way, I like to think this will bring in more applications and also provide students with an interesting way to support their Mountaineers.”

From Newport to Marlboro, WVU home games will provide it all in terms of your cigarettes preference. Luck feels that the amount of variety that can be provided will be the ultimate win-win scenario.

“I don’t want to be vague with this new concept; I want to go all out, man,” he said.

“Never in a million years did I think we would be able to pull this off, but now that we have, I’m going to make sure that West Virginia does it the right way – the WVU way.”

While beer was able to cure your thirst this past season, make sure you are fully relaxed next year when you can purchase cigarettes to add to the wonderful live experience of West Virginia athletics. mikestunnedya@redbull.com

6

OPINION

Tuesday April 2, 2013

CONTACT US 304-293-5092 ext. 4 | DAperspectives@mail.wvu.edu

Saving the world

Matt sunday/the daily athenaeum

This is what would happen to Morgantown if it wasn’t for our fearless SGA leaders continuing to stand between us and the great evils of the world.

Earlier this week, the West Virginia University Student Government Association convened an emergency session to discuss the escalating situation on the Korean Peninsula.

The University’s official student-run legislative body came together after North Korea’s belligerent 33-year-old dictator, Kim Jong Un, issued a declaration of war against South Korea and vowed to strike the United States mainland to punish the U.S. for its im-

perialistic tendencies.

As the international community remains paralyzed in the face of such a daunting threat, WVU students should be proud of our student leaders for courageously confronting Kim Jong Un. In a unanimous decision, the SGA Board of Governors passed a resolution vowing to preemptively attack North Korea for threatening to nuke the United States. Although the details have not been final-

ized, the resolution calls for the Mountaineer to be clandestinely deployed to North Korea with his signature rifle under the guise of taking part in a bear hunting expedition.

“As we learned from the Bush Administration, we don’t want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud,” said Gov. Mormon Dude, who sponsored the resolution.

“Our spineless president has done nothing to confront this threat. In the ab-

sence of a strong Republican in the White House, it is up to student leaders like myself to take the initiative to defend the homeland.”

We applaud the aptly named Gov. Dude for his unyielding courage in the face of such an ungodly threat.

Of course, this isn’t the first time our vigilant student representatives have taken bold steps to resolve an international crisis. A resolution passed by the SGA three years ago de-

claring support for the state of Israel resulted in an unprecedented era of peace in the Middle East.

We are certain SGA’s latest foray into an arena in which it has no actual authority will be just as successful. The only question that remains is how long it will be before Mountaineer Johnny Kimbo returns from his journey with a freshly prepared batch of Kim Jong-jerky.

Join the discussion.

Follow us on Twitter at

@dailyathenaeum.

daperspectives@mail.wvu.edu

Congress comes together for a better America kirk auvil supercolumnist

Yesterday, Congressional leaders met to announce their new initiative, which consists of passing laws, budgets and measures that will facilitate normal operations of the United States.

Some political scholars are calling this a bold throwback to earlier times when the United States’ legislative branch made contributions to the continued existence of the nation.

“President Obama won both the popular vote and the electoral vote by large margins,” Speaker of the House John Boehner (ROhio) said during the meeting. “We will work together with the President to implement his ideals, while respectfully voicing our opinions to improve them whenever possible; anything less would be disregarding the will of the American people.”

The Democratic and Republican leadership met behind open doors to discuss methods of improving America’s infrastructure and repairing its standing in the world. Sources say that instead of going to the press to badmouth one another at every turn, members of Congress will instead voice their differences in the form of ideological debates which are not subject to hyperbole or ad hominem attacks.

“We truly value the civility and rationality which are so integral to reasoned debate,” said Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC). “If we didn’t, why, we’d be standing up and shouting at people without respect for them or their stations.”

One of the most recent hot button issues has been the Sequester, which Congress leaders say will be ameliorated as soon as possible. Citing the fact that it only arose due to Congressional incompetence and

DA THEDAONLINE.COM

matt sunday/the daily athenaeum

John Boehner cries as he hugs President Obama. arbitrary backbiting, the leadership acknowledged that it represents a serious failure to exercise normal workplace practices.

“Can you imagine if someone did this at any other job?” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnel (R-KY). “If an employee just refused to deal with an issue until it boiled over and caused people to lose their jobs, they’d be fired. It’s time we held ourselves accountable to the American people and deal with problems rationally.”

Sources also say that Senate Republicans have laid down the law on filibustering, touting the measure as a sacred and irreproachable measure which must remain invio-

late. The filibuster – which had historically been used for such forthright causes such as impeding the 1964 Civil Rights Act or blocking attempts to protect Americans in the workplace – holds a special place in the Senate and should never be used for simple political expediency, said Senate Minority Whip John Cornyn (R-TX).

“Of course the filibuster was meant to be used sparingly, if at all, and only in dire circumstances,” Cornyn said during the assembly. “I mean imagine if a party just used it all the time to block any measures they don’t agree with. What would the point of having elections be if the party elected into office was un-

able to govern due to an obstructionist minority party?”

The Republican leaders also expressed their support for the social safety net which has allowed many in America to move up the ladder and create better lives for themselves. Citing the necessity for social programs as “so plain it’s really inescapable,” Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) said he will be leading the charge to protect America’s safety net so that future generations may benefit from it as well, naming Medicare and Medicaid as the institutions he most admires in the U.S. “Mitt Romney, my former running mate, would never have gotten to where he did without the as-

sistance of the U.S. government,” Ryan said with gravitas. “His father was on welfare before going on to higher office and building a future for his family. Someone whose father was given a leg up by the government went on to run for President of the United States, and if that doesn’t sell you on the importance of the safety net, nothing will.”

The leaders also addressed education and veteran’s affairs during the meeting, with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) and McConnell both pledging to put these issues at the top of their dockets and deal with them before any other issues.

These two areas, described

by Reid as “no-brainers,”

are of greatest importance according to the assembled leadership.

“Well, yeah, we want to make sure our kids are learning things and not falling behind the rest of the world,” said Reid. “So we’re going to get on that.

Also we’re going to actually take care of the people who were brave enough to go overseas and lay down their lives for our government’s various blunders.

They have enough problems as it is.”

At press time, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) was gesticulating wildly while chugging a gallon of water.

Kirk Auvil is a graduating print journalism senior. In his spare time, he fails miserably at Halo 4.

Letters to the Editor can be sent 284 Prospect St. or emailed to DAPERSPECTIVES@mail.wvu.edu. Letters should include NAME, TITLE and be no more than 300 words. Letters and columns, excluding the editorial, are not necessarily representative of The Daily Athenaeum’s opinion. Letters may be faxed to 304-293-6857 or delivered to The Daily Athenaeum.

EDITORIAL STAFF: MICHAEL CARVELLI, AWFUL • MICHAEL CARVELLI, AWFUL • MICHAEL CARVELLI, AWFUL • MICHAEL CARVELLI, AWFUL • MICHAEL CARVELLI, AWFUL• MICHAEL CARVELLI, AWFUL • MICHAEL CARVELLI, AWFUL • MICHAEL CARVELLI, AWFUL • MICHAEL CARVELLI, AWFUL

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7 | #SportsWinsTheAwards

Tuesday April 2, 2013

Huggs: Noreen only player to show up at practice

By Jabarie Hinds Transfer

Just weeks after senior forward Deniz Kilicli opened up to the media about some internal issues for the West Virginia men’s basketball team this past season, more information about the team’s lack of commitment is beginning to surface.

Mountaineers fans struggled to pinpoint what exactly was the cause of the team’s seven-game losing streak to end the season, but they may have now found their answer.

Sophomore forward Kevin Noreen was the only player to show up to practice for the last month of the season.

“The truth of the matter is, I did everything in my power to make the others show up, but nothing would

work,” said West Virginia head coach Bob Huggins in an interview with The Daily Athenaeum Saturday. “Aaric (Murray) came once, but it was because I told him a tattoo artist would be in the locker room. So he left when he found out I was lying.”

The Mountaineers finished with their worst season in a decade and struggled mightily down the stretch.

It came as a surprise that freshmen Eron Harris and Terry Henderson didn’t practice during the last month, considering they were two of the leading scorers on the team.

“Oh, I told them (Eron and Terry) to stay home,” Huggins said. “They didn’t need the practice and both wanted to help out with some Hawthorne Shake video or something.”

Huggins said Noreen is

one of the most committed players he’s ever coached.

The practices would still be three hours in duration, despite the fact only one player was present.

“The main thing we would focus on was Noreen’s three-point shooting,” Huggins said. “I take full credit for that ‘Northreen’ advertisement in the paper.

We would work on those all the time, because I knew people wouldn’t guard him on the perimeter.

“I would also roll the ball down the floor and have Kevin work on diving after it. I had to stop that, though. The maintenance guys were complaining because the floor was getting water-logged. They call him ‘Sweat’ for a reason, you know.”

The players who didn’t show up to practice weren’t available to comment on

the situation. Huggins went on to say that freshman walk-on Richard Romeo showed up to practice two times during the final month, but that was just because he thought Harris and Henderson were going to be there.

West Virginia will look to rebound from its dismal season next year. With many of the same players returning, though, Huggins may have a tough time getting them to attend practice.

“I thought the $25 million facility with a wall as an HD TV would be enough of an incentive to come,” Huggins said. “Have I ever told you about my friend without the rear-view mirror? I got in the truck and I asked him why he didn’t have a rearview mirror. And he said ‘we ain’t going backward, son.’” jabariegetsbuckets@hotmail.com

Miller invites himself to draft

andrew wiggins/in your dreams wvu fans

Kevin Noreen went to practice. Nobody really reads these, why are we even putting anything here? You already know that’s Kevin Noreen.

Smith spurns NFL to follow dream as artist

turrah bowden/the daily athenaeum

Geno Smith will open a tattoo parlor in Morgantown in June. This is a picture of Kansas State head basketball coach Bruce Weber talking to his team. Yeah, we know. Deal with it.

by clint & Rick bay city PD

smell moraes/ejf systems

Syracuse running back Jerome Smith laughs in West Virginia cornerback Pat Miller’s face after catching a pass in the New Era Pinstripe Bowl.

Former WVU cornerback’s agent told him he is lock to go in first round According to his agent, former West Virginia cornerback Pat Miller will be a first-round pick in the upcoming NFL Draft.

“He’ll be inviting himself to the draft,” said a source close to the situation. “Miller’s agent believes he was the most underrated cornerback in college football last season, and every team who passes on him will be making a terrible mistake.”

Miller was often beat on “go routes” last season, infuriating many Mountaineer fans. However, defensive coordinator Joe DeForest doesn’t blame

Miller for his mishaps.

“His style of play wasn’t good for our defensive system,” DeForest said.

“But his quickness, anticipation and work ethic were some of the best I’ve ever worked with. He’ll succeed at the next level, no question.”

NFL scouts share these feelings.

Last week, the New York Jets held a private workout with Miller. They hold the No. 9 pick in the draft. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who own the No. 13 pick, are also reportedly interested in Miller.

“Given the right circumstance, I

can see Miller being the first Mountaineer off the draft board,” DeForest said.

Former quarterback Geno Smith and wide receiver Tavon Austin are also projected to be first-round picks.

“I believe I can make any teams defense better,” Miller said. “I’m looking forward to making an immediate impact on my future team, and shaking the commissioner’s hand on draft day.”

The NFL Draft will begin April 25. dasports@mail.wvu.edu

Holgs signs deal with Red Bull by jake s.

dana’s best friend

Yesterday the most popular energy drink in the world, Red Bull and West Virginia’s head coach Dana Holgorsen agreed to a $20 million endorsement deal that will through 2018.

Red Bull CEO Dietrich Mateschitz is known for strong strategic marketing.

In the past Mateschitz has utilized marquee American athletes like Reggie Bush and Ryan Sheckler to sell his product.

For right now, Holgorsen is expected to represent the Austrian-based drink in a series of American television commercials.

“Well, you know Red Bull gives me wings,” Holgorsen said.

“From a drink standpoint, and an energizing

standpoint, there is no better product or company I’d rather stand with.”

The release from Red Bull stated Holgorsen will star in three separate commercials. The first 20-second TV ad will be filmed during West Virginia’s annual Gold-Blue Spring Football game April 20 at Milan Puskar Stadium. Holgorsen expects 60,000 fans in attendance to watch the filming of the commercial.

“It’s the best time to film the ad with most of the fans attending the spring game to see new players stepping up to new roles,” Holgorsen said.

Prior to the spring game, cameras will be focused on Holgorsen as he watches both quarterbacks Paul Millard and Ford Childress warm up prior to the game.

After a lackluster first two series of offense, a frus-

trated Holgorsen will drink a 20-ounce can of Red Bull Energy. Once the drink is consumed, Holgorsen – as cameras follow – he will sprint inside the Puskar Center, put on full pads and a uniform and takes over for both Millard and Childress. After Holgorsen throws a touchdown, he will smile, wink, glance into the camera and say, “Red Bull, an offensive mastermind’s drink of choice.”

“I’m excited to see the outcome of the ad and the longterm prospects of it for our football program,” Holgorsen said.

Plans for the other two commercials haven’t been released by the company, but a party close to Mateschitz said to The Daily Athenaeum that one of those two television spots will feature Holgorsen flying with patented Red Bull wings on his back to

College Station, Texas, to rekindle his relationship with former WVU and current Texas A&M quarterbacks coach, Jake Spavital.

According to the release, all three commercials will air for the first time in conjunction with the start of the 2013 college football season.

Red Bull’s plan is to start airing these spots on the Big East Network as well as FX early in the season. After the first month of the season, the ESPN family of networks along with FOX will air the commercials five times during each and every college football broadcast.

“We’re hoping these commercials will help us in recruiting upcoming talents that’ll fit with our program.

Any publicity is good publicity,” Holgorsen said. missyoudana@gigem.com

This past weekend, former West Virginia quarterback Geno Smith decided to withdraw from the 2013 NFL Draft, effectively ending his football career for the foreseeable future.

Smith confirmed reports he applied at High Street Tattoo in Morgantown, with the hopes of becoming a tattoo artist.

ESPN’s Adam Schefter was the first to report the sudden news.

“Smith has been skeptical about his future over the last few weeks,” Schefter said. “He didn’t want to be drafted into a bad situation and couldn’t stand the idea of being away from his mother.”

The former Mountaineer signal caller became skeptical about his NFL future when he heard reports that he would be drafted by the Oakland Raiders in April’s NFL draft.

Smith, who threw for more than 12,000 yards during his four-year career, was a projected top first-round pick in the upcoming NFL Draft.

It’s a way for Smith to pursue his lifelong dream of being an artist that was welldocumented during the 2012 season. What wasn’t documented was his love of tattoos that made him want to open his new shop.

“I got a lower back tattoo when I was a sophomore,” Smith said in a phone interview with The Daily Athenaeum. “Tattoos are pretty addictive, and I’ve gotten a

few since, but I keep them hidden.”

Teams in the top 10 of the draft, such as the Jacksonville Jaguars, Oakland Raiders and Buffalo Bills all have quarterback issues and were certainly contenders for his services.

West Virginia head coach Dana Holgorsen fully supports Smith’s decision.

“Geno probably wouldn’t have succeeded in the NFL anyway,” he said.

“On the bright side, Shannon and I can get matching tattoos from my former quarterback.”

Understandably, Smith’s decision hasn’t fared well with NFL GM’s.

“This changes our entire draft philosophy,” said Jacksonville Jaguars GM Dave Caldwell. “We are in desperate need of a quarterback, and his decision not only infuriates our organization, but makes me want to remove all my tattoos.”

With Smith no longer in the 2013 NFL Draft, USC’s Matt Barkley will arguably be the best available quarterback in the draft. Schefter believes teams will be reluctant to draft him because, as one GM said, USC quarterbacks “never pan out.”

Given the circumstances, Smith claims he personally apologized to every team interested in his services.

“I sincerely apologize to all the fans and coaches who wanted me on their team,” he said. “But I love tattoos, and I’m looking forward to pursuing a career in artistry.” dasports@mail.wvu.edu

THE CARVELLI3 AND NARTHURD SHOW

8 | #SportsWinsTheAwards

Tuesday April 2, 2013

Northreen ready to take on role as go-to scorer by larry bird

kevin northreen wannabe

Last season was, without a doubt, one of the most discouraging in the history of the West Virginia men’s basketball team.

The Mountaineers limped to a 13-19 overall record, losing their final seven games to mercifully close out the ultimately depressing campaign.

But as many of the Mountaineers’ players, coaches and fans slowly attempted to put the disappointment of not participating in postseason basketball for the first time in quite a while behind them, one player in particular eagerly vowed enormous changes starting right away.

It was Kevin “Northreen” Noreen who countered the collective discontent by making a public guarantee earlier today that he would not only lead West Virginia back to the Final Four in New Orleans next

March, but he would do it by breaking the Mountaineers’ all-time scoring and 3-points made records on his way to being the nation’s Naismith College Player of the Year.

“I didn’t come to Morgantown to sit home and watch other teams on TV in March,” said Noreen. “Initially, I thought I would just ease my way into the team and Huggins’ system, but it’s pretty clear that I’ve got to be our go-to guy, which is a role I’m both very familiar and comfortable with.”

In addition to his public guarantees, Noreen has already filed paperwork to trademark the term “Northreen,” which he firmly expects to be in households across America by this time next year.

“He’s also filed to separately trademark his dual flex and primal yell following his “Northreens,” a la Colin Kapernick and Tim Tebow of the NFL. Speaking of which, Noreen

has already started a vigorous offseason training regiment that includes daily lifting sessions with NFL strength coaches, sparring with UFC athletes and jump-shooting sessions with former NBA-marksmen Robert Horry, Steve Kerr and Reggie Miller.

Noreen recorded more than 4000 career points and was formerly named Mr. Basketball of the state of Minnesota in his prep basketball years, but averaged just 3.0 points and 4.4 rebounds per game as a sophomore last season.

“I may have been passive this year, but we’ll easily be looking at numbers closer to 40 and 20 per game next season,” Noreen said. “I’ll not only have perfected my stroke, but I’ll be a physical specimen by that time.

I just hope they’ll be able to find some more space out in front of the Coliseum for my statue.” northreen@northreen.northreen

Kevin Noreen falls to the floor during a game. He does that sometimes, when he’s not busy hitting a bunch of Northreens in everyone’s faces.

Spavital adjusting to life with Johnny Football by gus malzahn

high tech keyboard gangster

West Virginia fans who were upset with the departure of former WVU quarterbacks coach Jake Spavital may find solace in the fact that he is having trouble at his new job: taming Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Manziel.

“Look, I get it. I know what it’s like to be an attractive guy,” Spavital said. “Honestly, have you ever seen me without a shirt on?

But this guy takes it to a whole new level. You can’t

get him to stay focused for more than 10 minutes, at which point he’s tweeting selfies to thousands of groupies.”

Spavital said during a recent film session, his tutoring of the sophomore gunslinger was interrupted twice in five minutes from different requests from celebrities.

“We’re sitting there going over the tape and next thing I know there’s a knock on the door,” he said. “Somebody who called himself ‘Two Chains’ walked in and slapped Johnny a high-five.

It took a yelling tantrum to

break them up.

Next thing I know, Luke Bryan walks in all smiles and asks if he can watch film with us. Hell no.”

Manziel, the only freshman ever to win the iconic award, said he has no ill will toward Spavital – just that he hopes he will let him keep his “swag on” while the offseason continues.

“Coach Spavital is a great coach,” Manziel said. “He’s knowledgeable and rocks the heck out of a v-neck T-shirt.

I’d love to go out on the town with him – for food and stuff,” he said.

“But it’s like he doesn’t understand what it means to be me. I mean, come on. I’m Johnny freaking Football. Do you even lift, bro?”

Spavital said throughout the process he has grown closer to Manziel, and he’s excited to get to work with another great quarterback.

It will take a few strong performances, though, before Spavital will mention Manziel in the same sentence as Geno Smith.

“Johnny’s great and he’s going to have another great year, no doubt,” he said. “But last season I worked with

Geno, and it was a real treat.

I think Johnny has what it takes to get to that level, because so far what stands out about Johnny is off the field stuff.

Did you guys see his picture with Chris Paul? What is that all about, am I right?”

Manziel said his plans for the upcoming season changed when Spavital joined the Aggies’ coaching staff.

“Well, I was hoping to party a bit more, honestly,” he said. “I’ve heard some fantastic stories about Holgorsen shotgunning Red Bulls and

coaching after back-to-back all-nighters. I was looking to get into the action as well.

Then Jake comes and sucks the fun out of it.”

There’s no telling what will happen this season, but if Spavital has his way it will be a return trip for Manziel to New York City for the Heisman Trophy presentation.

“Let’s face it, he’s going to be there,” he said. “If he listens to what I have to say then we’ll win it. If not, then he’ll just be on the front page of TMZ again.” morelikejohnnydbag@missingdana.net

West Virginia’s Carey not that bad of a guy after all

By Craig Carey Poor Child

When one thinks of West Virginia women’s basketball head coach Mike Carey, a lot of words come to mind.

Most of them are centered around words such as “anger,” “yelling” and “mustache.”

The truth is, though, Carey isn’t the mean and troubled type displayed by his sideline antics.

Off the court, Carey has recently been volunteering his time for a good cause.

Last week, the veteran head coach and Clarksburg, W.Va., native read to a thirdgrade class at Norwood Elementary School.

He made it to chapter three before his first curse word and only five children ran out of the room crying.

That afternoon, Carey felt bad for traumatizing the innocent children and made his way to a homeless shelter.

He helped serve food

to more than 30 homeless patrons.

Unfortunately, he was asked to leave after he yelled at one of the homeless men and broke his utensils because the man had asked for seconds and did not finish his portion.

But, hey, it’s the thought that matters, right?

Despite still displaying anger, Carey is clearly showing improvement.

Earlier last month, Carey cleaned up a 3/4-mile stretch of highway along route 43 as part of the “Adopt a Highway” program.

However, a car passed the highway a little too close to Carey and he threw the trash bag full of waste at the car, snapped the “Adopt a Highway” sign in half, ripped his shirt off and walked home.

Carey even volunteered his time for a local wheelchair basketball game. When one of the children ran over Carey’s foot with his wheelchair and the West Virginia

head coach lost his cool.

Carey responded by calling the child a “faker” and holding the ball high over the poor kid’s head for the remainder of the game.

Mike Carey made be not be the most charming man in Morgantown, but he is trying, guys.

He’s taking strides towards bettering his image and helping the less fortunate and children.

Even though he still is performing similar antics as when he’s on the sideline, the improvement being made is apparent.

Heck, last week he took all of his broken clipboards to recycling. Rumor has it he accidentally placed cardboard in the plastic bottle slot and cursed up a storm in front of his grandma Cora.

But that doesn’t matter.

Carey is taking the necessary steps to improving his image.

Katie KDKAne/Liberty high school

mohiganstar@wvuwalkon.com

This is the only picture that could be found of Mike Carey not yelling or breaking anything.

Laser tag, pinball highlight West Virginia weight room upgrades BY orville wilbur Sports correspondent

Upgrades to West Virginia University’s football weight room are under way, but developers say the renovations are not going as planned.

“We came in expecting to put in new floors, expand the lifting area and other things like that,” said Samuel Gompers, a developer at Crayon and Associates, a firm WVU hired to perform the updates.

“It turns out everything they turned in from the orig-

inal proposal has been shot down. It’s starting to look like a fun house in here instead of a weight room.”

The Daily Athenaeum has obtained internal documents regarding the revised plans, all of which have been approved by head coach Dana Holgorsen.

Included in the renovations are the implementation of a laser tag arena, various pinball machines, a cotton candy dispenser and fountains that distribute only Red Bull.

“Look, I don’t know what

you guys expected, but it’s pretty obvious what we’re doing here,” Holgorsen said to The DA in a phone call.

“We’re not going to get top-notch recruits with a sissy weight room. I don’t want to know if they can improve their bench press, I want to know if they can contribute as a laser tag player.”

Some recruits have heard about the renovations and are starting to reconsider West Virginia after originally passing on the Mountaineers.

Michael Terry, a five-star wide receiver from Atlanta, Ga., said he doesn’t see a reason why he wouldn’t go to WVU if the changes Holgorsen has approved are put into place.

“I love the idea of laser tag,” he said. “That’s the kind of stuff that’s going to get me to sign. And that cotton candy machine? I decommitted from Alabama right after I heard about it.”

Though fans are somewhat disappointed about the move, Holgorsen hopes to get the widespread approval

of Mountaineer Nation by hosting an open house day.

“Of course, they won’t be allowed to use my personal laser gun, but we’ll have other guns that are similar for them to play with,” he said. “I think once people get a look inside they will forget about lifting weights and worry about playing pinball and other stuff like that.”

It’s a move that many in the football community have taken notice of, including those at Ohio State, where head coach Urban

Meyer is reportedly looking into adding slip-and-slides to the Buckeyes’ practice facility.

“It’s pretty simple,” Meyer said in an email to The DA. “Once a guy like Dana gets an idea, it spreads like wildfire. It’s just like that little touch pass he started using that’s getting really popular.

In my opinion, five years from now, every weight room in the country will have an arcade of some sort in it.”

DanaJustWannaHaveFun@Holgs.mail

#livingtheDreAm

da @thejohnterry

@NarthurD

THE DAILY ATHENAEUM “Little good is accomplished without controversy, and no civic evil is ever defeated without publicity.”

da

Tuesday April 2, 2013

Volume 125, Issue 124

www.THEDAONLINE.com

WVU scores big at model U.N. contest by summer ratcliff staff writer

West Virginia University students competed against 3,000 students from more than 200 universities at the Model United Nations conference last month in New York City.

Model U.N. is a simulation of the United Nations system, and it is designed to allow participants to learn what it’s like to be an ambassador. During conferences and competitions,

student delegations are assigned a country and work to pass mock resolutions and policies.

This year, the WVU Model U.N. team consisted of 24 delegates, all representing the nation of Norway.

Spenser Wempe, international studies major and newly elected SGA Governor, was among the delegates to participate in this year’s WVU Model U.N. Wempe said in addition to learning an extreme

amount of information about Norway’s foreign policy, she also now thoroughly understands the United Nations system.

“They run the competition as though it was an actual U.N. session, so you learn the rules and procedures just as if you were an ambassador to the United Nations,” Wempe said. “I now know how to conduct a session without violating any rules, and those are the types of things you really don’t learn inside a class-

room setting.”

“Additionally, the skills you learn outside of sessions while you are caucusing and negotiating are skills that will be extremely valuable down the road for a career in diplomacy.”

The awards presented at each competition include Outstanding Delegation, Distinguished Delegation and Honorable Mention Delegation. The Outstanding Delegation award is the highest honor offered at the competition

and is given to the top 20 delegations.

This year, the WVU Model U.N. team representing Norway received the Outstanding Delegation award for the first time in school history.

Clarissa Estep, WVU adviser for Model U.N., said this year’s delegation was unlike any previous group from WVU. “Every single committee was consistent across the board, which is not easy to accomplish,” Estep said.

EVANSDALE EXPANSION

staff writer

Art and athleticism have collided on the campus of West Virginia University with the creation of its new dance major.

The WVU Faculty Senate approved the major in mid-March, and students will begin getting credit hours for the dance major in the Fall 2013 semester.

“We are pleased this degree now exists in the state of West Virginia, affording our talented youth an opportunity to experience and major in our vibrant program,” said Paul Kreider, dean of the College of Creative Arts.

Yoav Kaddar and General Hambrick lead dance classes at WVU. Kaddar is a graduate of the Juillard School, where he earned a bachelors of fine arts and received the Martha Hill Award for Outstanding Achievement and Leadership in Dance. His MFA is from the University of Washington, Seattle, and his doctorate is from the State University of New York (SUNY), Albany.

He has had many prestigious per for mance opportunities both nationally and internationally and has choreographed more than 50 works for dance and theater.

He was also a member of modern dance compa-

submitted

University announces $90 million plan for multi-purpose development on Evansdale by carlee lammers city editor

West Virginia University announced plans Thursday for a $90 million multipurpose development in the Evansdale area.

The development, University Park, will be located on approximately seven acres of land north of University Avenue and located along Harding Avenue and Oakland Street, stretching along Country Club Road behind the McDonald’s restaurant.

University Park will offer approximately 1,100

beds, retail development and WVU and other food services.

“WVU must continue to upgrade its housing in order to appeal to the needs of our diverse student population, which includes traditional undergraduates, but more international and graduate students as well as families,” said Narvel Weese, vice president for administration and finance.

Currently Morgantown’s Sunnyside neighborhood is undergoing demolition so a similar $70 million residential com-

plex project can be completed. Sunnyside’s University Place is set to be completed by fall 2014.

University Park will be the third and final phase of the WVU master housing plan to better accommodate the needs of students.

Weese said these projects will help the University achieve its housing goals and better meet the needs of students.

“Today’s announcement, combined with the previously announced projects, provide WVU with a strong mix of housing accommodations that

see model on PAGE 2

Dance major now offered at WVU by madison fleck

This artist’s rendering of University Park, a multi-purpose development in the Evansdale area, shows the seven acres the development will take up.

“I was very pleased with them and their performance; they did extremely well.”

The Model U.N. program is offered as a class through the Eberly College of Arts & Sciences, as well as a club activity option for WVU students during both the fall and spring semesters. International studies and political science students are also permitted to take the Model U.N. class

can appeal to undergraduate and graduate students from West Virginia and around the world,” said Dean of Students Corey Farris.

University Park will replace current housing located nearby at Fieldcrest Hall and the Medical Center Apartments, both of which will be demolished, and Pierpont Apartments, where the lease will not be renewed.

However, demolition will not take place until the construction of

see evansdale on PAGE 2

nies such as the Jose Limon Dance Company, the Paul Taylor Dance Company, Pilobolus Dance Theatre, Peter Pucci Plus Dancers and Jacob’s Pillow’s Men Dancers.

“I would like to put WVU on the map as a dance center for the state and for the region,” Kaddar said.

West Virginia is not known for its impressive dance programs, and Kaddar feels the state will gain some recognition in the dance world.

“It is the one and only full academic degree program in dance in West Virginia,” he said. “This allows West Virginia residents to stay in-state when looking for a dance education at the university level.”

Students hold on to the memories they made while in the WVU dance program and tend to stay in touch with the instructors as they advance in their careers.

For many, their dance education has assisted them in their pursuit of a variety of careers – from civil engineering to physical therapy, dance education and athletic training.

“WVU can finally offer a destination for these young, aspiring dancers,” Kaddar said.

For more information on the WVU dance program, visit www.theatre. wvu.edu. danewsroom@mail.wvu.edu

‘Buckwild’ cast member found dead

BY LAcEY PALMER ASSOCIATE A&E EDITOR

MTV’s “Buckwild” star Shain Gandee was found dead Monday near Sissonville, W.Va., the city in which the show was taped.

Gandee, 21, along with his uncle David Gandee, 48, and a third, unidentified person, were found in a sport utility vehicle in a ditch roughly a mile along a dirt road near Wolf Pen Drive in Sissonville.

According to the Kanawha County Sheriff’s Department, the men were last seen around 3 a.m. Sunday morning at a bar in Sissonville, where they told people they were going driving off-road. Relatives had been searching for the men since early Sunday morning.

Monday morning, a 1984 Ford Bronco belonging to the Gandee family was found in a muddy area near Gandee’s home in Sissonville with all three men

inside. To get to the vehicle, police and investigators were forced to use ATVs to gain access to the remote site.

No foul play was suspected, according to reports, but details of the cause of death are still unknown at this time. Police are currently investigating carbon monoxide as a possible cause of death.

Many around the West Virginia University community were affected by Gandee’s death, including Sissonville native and senior student Tyler Shamblin, who played baseball with Gandee since he was young.

“He really was a great guy,” Shamblin said. “He always knew how to put a smile on your face, no matter what situation it was. It definitely is sad to see him go, and he will definitely be missed.”

Morgantown resident and Sissonville native Savannah Irvin said Gandee

has been one of her best friends since high school, and she saw him just last Saturday night.

“Waking up this morning and hearing the news brought me to my knees with tears and shock,” Irvin said. “If you knew Shain, you knew he would do anything for anyone and could brighten anyone’s day by just being his full-of-life self.

He had this spirit about him that’s hard to put in words, and he was always so energetic, spontaneous and happy.

“Saying he will be truly missed is an understatement; he will be more than remembered and missed.”

Sissonville native and sophomore student Lindsey Goff said she agrees Gandee was one of the best people she had ever met.

“He was probably the most kind-hearted, caring person I have ever met, and he would’ve done anything in the world for any-

one,” Goff said. “I don’t think there is a person in Sissonville who would’ve had something bad to say about him.”

According to reports, Kanawha County Commission President Kent Carper said the news was upsetting for the community.

“It’s a very sad day for the Sissonville area and for these families,” he said.

“This is a small community, and most of us know directly members of these families.

We’re keeping them in our hearts and prayers.”

Gandee was one of the most popular characters of MTV’s new reality show, “Buckwild,” which followed nine cast members around rural West Virginia.

According to a statement made by the television network, MTV is “shocked and saddened” to learn of Gandee’s death.

“We are waiting for more

see buckwild on PAGE 2

45° / 28°

IN THE PURSUIT

CHECK OUR SPORTS BLOG

INSIDE

How do we define the pursuit of happiness?

OPINION PAGE 4

Get the latest on Mountaineer sports in our WVU Sports Insider Blog at http://blogs.thedaonline.com/sports/.

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CONTACT US Newsroom 304-293-5092 or DAnewsroom@mail.wvu.edu Advertising 304-293-4141 or DA-Ads@mail.wvu.edu Classifieds 304-293-4141 or DA-Classifieds@mail.wvu.edu Fax 304-293-6857

ap

Shain Gandee, from MTV’s ‘Buckwild’ reality series poses for a promotoinal picture in New York.

ON THE INSIDE Three West Virginia University men’s basketball players will transfer, including sophomore guard Jabarie Hinds.

SPORTS PAGE 6

BROOMS OUT The West Virginia University baseball team swept New Orleans in its series over this weekend.

SPORTS PAGE 8

THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

2 | NEWS

Tuesday April 2, 2013

Suspicion in DA death shifts to white supremacists

ap

Kaufman law enforcement officers patrol outside the county courthouse Monday.

KAUFMAN, Texas (AP) — Two days after a Texas district attorney and his wife were found shot to death in their home, authorities have said little about their investigation or any potential suspects.

But suspicion in the slayings shifted Monday to a white supremacist prison gang with a long history of violence and retribution that was also the focus of a December law enforcement bulletin warning that its members might try to attack police or prosecutors.

The deaths of Kaufman County District Attorney Mike McLelland and his wife were especially jarring because they happened just a couple of months after one of the county’s assistant district attorneys, Mark Hasse, was killed near his courthouse office and less than two weeks after Colorado’s prison chief was shot to death at his front door, apparently by a white supremacist ex-convict.

The Aryan Brotherhood of Texas has been in the

buckwild Continued from page 2

information, but at this time, our main concern is for the Gandee family and their friends,” the network said. “Our thoughts and prayers are with them.

Shain had a magnetic personality, with a passion for life that touched everyone he met, and we will miss him dearly.”

evansdale Continued from page 1

the new facilities is completed.

Students will not be displaced during the construction of the complex as

state’s prison system since the 1980s, when it began as a white supremacist gang that protected its members and ran illegal activities, including drug distribution, according to Terry Pelz, a former Texas prison warden and expert on the gang.

The group is now believed to have more than 4,000 members in and out of prison who deal in a variety of criminal enterprises, including prostitution, robbery and murder.

It has a paramilitary structure with five factions around the state, Pelz said.

Each faction has a general, who is part of a steering committee known as the “Wheel,” which controls all criminal aspects of the gang, according to court papers.

Four top leaders of the group were indicted in October for crimes ranging from murder to drug trafficking. Two months later, authorities issued the bulletin warning that the gang might try to retaliate against law enforcement for the investigation that also led to the

arrest of 30 other members.

At the time, prosecutors called the indictments “a devastating blow to the leadership” of the gang. Pelz said the indictments might have fragmented the gang’s leadership.

Hasse’s Jan. 31 death came on the same day as the first guilty pleas were entered in the indictment. No arrests have been made in his killing.

McLelland was part of a multi-agency task force that investigated the Aryan Brotherhood with help from the FBI, the Drug Enforcement Administration and police in Houston and Fort Worth.

Detectives have declined to say if the Aryan Brotherhood is the focus of their investigation, but the state Department of Public Safety bulletin warned that the group is “involved in issuing orders to inflict ‘mass casualties or death’ to law enforcement officials involved in the recent case.”

Killing law enforcement representatives would be

uncharacteristic of the group, Pelz said.

“They don’t go around killing officials,” he said.

“They don’t draw heat upon themselves.”

But Pelz, who worked in the Texas prison system for 21 years, said the gang has a history of threatening officials and of killing its own members or rivals.

The 18-count indictment accused gang members of being involved in three murders of rival gang members, multiple attempted murders, kidnappings, assaults and conspiracy to distribute methamphetamine and cocaine.

Some of the attempted murders in the indictment involved gang members who were targeted for not following orders or rules or who were believed to be cooperating with law enforcement. The indictment also alleges that gang members discussed killing a police officer in 2008 and allegedly ordered a subordinate gang member to kill a prospect “and to return the victim’s

In February, MTV announced it would air a second season of “Buckwild,” as the show was picking up an average of 3 million viewers per episode since its premiere in the old “Jersey Shore” time slot.

The network announced today in a statement production of the second season has been suspended.

The devastating news involving Gandee isn’t the

first time the “Buckwild” cast has been brought into the news.

Cast member Salwa Amin, 24, was sent back to jail last week for violating the terms of her bond after being arrested for drug possession in February with intent to deliver.

Her initial bond was reduced to $100,000 after originally being set at $200,000, but Amin will remain in jail without bond, according to

reports.

According to West Virginia State Police, Amin was arrested alongside two other people in Summersville, W.Va., after finding oxycodone, heroin and $3,000 cash.

Cast member Michael Douglas Burford was also charged in February with driving under the influence.

they were following the announcement of the University Place complex.

Weese said the recent public-private projects would do more for the community beyond providing better housing for students.

He said the new complexes would also expand the tax base for both the city and county by generating additional B&O taxes.

“University Park alone should more than double the net tax revenue to the city from these properties,”

he said.

While the University Park development is still in the early stages of planning and design, the project is expected to be completed for fall 2015 occupancy.

lacey.palmer@mail.wvu.edu

severed finger as a trophy.”

Meanwhile, law enforcement agencies throughout Texas were on high alert, and steps were being taken to better protect DAs and their staffs.

In Kaufman County, deputies escorted some employees into the courthouse Monday after the slayings stirred fears that other public employees could be targeted. Law enforcement officers were seen patrolling outside the courthouse, one holding a semi-automatic weapon, while others walked around inside.

McLelland was the 13th prosecutor killed in the U.S. since the National Association of District Attorneys began keeping count in the 1960s.

Deputies were called to the McLelland home by relatives and friends who had been unable to reach the pair, according to a search warrant affidavit.

When they arrived, investigators found the couple had been shot multiple times. Cartridge casings

model

Continued from page 1 as their capstone.

Estep said she encourages any interested student to participate in Model U.N., no matter their major.

“We have majors that range from music to physics to the traditional political science or international studies students,” Estep said.

“Regardless of a students major, the skills that are learned from partici-

were scattered near their bodies, the affidavit said.

Authorities have not discussed a motive.

The slayings also called to mind the death of Colorado’s corrections director, Tom Clements, who was killed March 19 when he answered the doorbell at his home outside Colorado Springs. Two days later, Evan Spencer Ebel, a white supremacist and former Colorado inmate suspected of shooting Clements, died in a shootout with Texas deputies about 100 miles from Kaufman.

In an Associated Press interview shortly after the Colorado killing, McLelland himself raised the possibility that Hasse was gunned down by a white supremacist gang.

After that attack, McLelland said, he carried a gun everywhere around town, even when walking his dog.

He figured assassins were more likely to try to attack him outside. He said he had warned all his employees to be constantly on the alert. pating in Model U.N. are extremely valuable.”

“Students learn research and writing skills, public speaking, coalition building, caucusing strategy ... those are all skills that are of value to any career or graduate school.”

To learn more about taking the Model U.N. course or to become a member of the Model U.N. club, contact Clarissa Estep at clarissa.estep@mail.wvu. edu. danewsroom@mail.wvu.edu

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danewsroom@mail.wvu.edu

North Korea taps reformist premier amid nuclear tension SEOUL, South Korea (AP) – North Korea’s parliament approved the appointment of a new premier seen by outside experts as an economic reformer one day after top party officials adopted a declaration making nuclear arms and a stronger economy the nation’s top priorities.

The U.S., meanwhile, made its latest conspicuous display of firepower, announcing it had sent F-22 stealth fighter jets to participate in annual U.S.-South Korean war games that Pyongyang calls preparation for an invasion. The new South Korean president, who has a policy meant to re-engage Pyongyang with talks and aid, told her top military leaders Monday to set aside political considerations and respond strongly should North Korea attack.

The re-emergence of Pak Pong Ju as premier at an annual spring parliamentary session is seen by analysts as a clear signal that leader Kim Jong Un is moving to back up recent vows to focus on strengthened economic development. The U.N. says

two-thirds of the country’s 24 million people face regular food shortages.

Pak was the North’s premier in 2003-2007, according to Seoul’s Unification Ministry. He was sacked initially because of a proposal for an incentive-based hourly, rather than monthly, wage system deemed too similar to U.S.-style capitalism, Japan’s Mainichi Shimbun newspaper reported in 2007. Pak replaces Choe Yong Rim, who is 82.

“Pak Pong Ju is the face of economic reform, such as it exists – reform with North Korean characteristics as they say,” said John Delury, a professor and North Korea analyst at Seoul’s Yonsei University.

Any economic changes won’t be radical, Delury said, and, for the time being, they’re mostly aspirational. One possible change could entail a shift of part of the country’s massive military spending into the economy as a whole, he said.

Pak is widely known for spearheading reforms in 2002, when the government began allowing some mar-

ap

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un raises his hand with other officials to adopt a statement during a plenary meeting of the central committee of the ruling Workers’ Party in Pyongyang, North Korea. kets, although it later backtracked, said Koh Yu-hwan, a North Korea analyst at Seoul’s Dongguk University. His appointment could be a message to the outside world that North Korea wants to calm tension and focus more on economic revitalization, Koh said.

Pyongyang has reacted with anger to the U.S.South Korean military drills and to a new round of U.N. and U.S. sanctions that followed its Feb. 12 under-

ground nuclear test, the country’s third. Analysts see a full-scale North Korean attack as unlikely and say the threats are more likely efforts to provoke softer policies toward Pyongyang from a new government in Seoul, to win diplomatic talks with Washington and to solidify the young North Korean leader’s military credentials at home.

White House press secretary Jay Carney said Monday the U.S. has not detected

any military mobilization or repositioning of forces from Pyongyang to back up the threats.

Despite the rising hostility, recent rhetoric has focused on efforts to turn around a moribund economy and nuclear development.

“There was a danger that this was getting to the point ... of a permanent war footing,” Delury said. “In the midst of this tension and militant rhetoric and pos-

turing, Kim Jong Un is saying, ‘Look, we’re still focused on the economy, but we’re doing it with our nuclear deterrent intact.’”

On Sunday, Kim and top party officials adopted a declaration calling nuclear weapons “the nation’s life” and an important component of its defense, an asset that wouldn’t be traded even for “billions of dollars.” Pyongyang cites the U.S. military presence in South Korea as a main reason behind its drive to build missiles and atomic weapons. The U.S. has stationed tens of thousands of troops in South Korea since the Korean War ended with a truce, not a peace treaty, in 1953.

Pentagon press secretary George Little said the U.S. sent two F-22s to participate in the annual U.S.South Korean military drills.

Little said this is the fourth time F-22s have been deployed to South Korea. He said their participation in the exercises is meant to show U.S. commitment to the defense of South Korea and to the region.

3

A&E

Tuesday April 2, 2013

CONTACT US 304-293-5092 ext. 3 | DAA&E@mail.wvu.edu

Luke Bryan hypnotizes WVU Coliseum hunter homistek a&e editor

Country music superstar Luke Bryan electrified the West Virginia University Coliseum March 23 with an energetic and entertaining set full of his most famous songs.

The singer performed hits like “Rain is a Good Thing,” “Do I” and “I Don’t Want This Night To End” to a captivated audience.

Without question, Bryan’s concert provided one of the most entertaining live-music experiences one could desire.

From the first chord to the final crash of the cymbals, the sold-out Coliseum crowd enthusiastically swayed and shouted along with each of Bryan’s tunes, and the singer certainly reciprocated the love.

Bryan interacted with members of the audience by slapping hands, posing for pictures and asking the many female attendees to “shake it” for him during “Country Girl.”

Needless to say, they happily obliged.

I was not alive for Beatlemania, and I never saw Elvis cause a fainting spell with his words and movements, but the power Bryan held over the audience that evening was remarkable and impressive.

Aided by a series of pelvic thrusts, slick dance moves and flirtatious banter, Bryan commanded full attention and admiration for the concert’s duration.

The level of involvement Bryan cultivated from the crowd was astounding, and I have never stood among such an engrossed and enamored audience.

Mel Moraes/THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

Luke Bryan performs at the WVU Coliseum.

While Bryan’s performance provided a highenergy affair crafted in the name of pure entertainment, noted singer and songwriter Chris Stapleton opened up the evening’s festivities with an entirely different approach.

Stapleton’s performance was backed by a modest light show, and his band remained stationary and reserved for the majority of the set.

That said, Stapleton managed to dazzle this writer

just as Bryan did, albeit in an entirely different way.

The talent Stapleton exhibited was staggering. With a voice that ushered forth a brand of country-blues perfection scarcely heard on any level, Stapleton induced chills on multiple occasions, and the passion with which he delivered his melodies was striking.

Midway through his set, Stapleton incorporated some cover songs into his repertoire, such as Darius Rucker’s “Come Back

Song” and Kenny Chesney’s “Never Wanted Nothing More.”

This offering came with a catch – the tunes were not, in fact, covers at all; Stapleton wrote them for the respective artists who popularized them.

Such a revelation brought me an entirely new respect for Stapleton. Not only did the man possess a set of sirenic vocal cords, but he also stands as the brains behind some of country music’s most popular titles.

To further recognize his efforts and his talents, Bryan called Stapleton back onstage during his set to perform.

The duo played “Drink a Beer,” a brand new song that will appear on Bryan’s newest CD and that – you guessed it – Stapleton wrote.

At the end of this song, Bryan offered Stapleton the spotlight and urged him to flex his golden pipes.

The chills returned, and Stapleton exited the stage with a legion of new fans.

To call Sunday’s concert successful would be a massive understatement.

Bryan sold out the Coliseum in minutes, and the enthusiasm and admiration shown by the crowd met every possible expectation.

With Bryan’s star power and Stapleton’s raw emotion and undeniable talent, the performance was a truly special installment to the legacy of concerts hosted by WVU Arts & Entertainment. hunter.homistek@mail.wvu.edu

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THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

12 | OPINION

Tuesday April 2, 2013

Life, liberty and the pursuit of something else micah conkling columnist

The “unalienable rights” Americans are promised in the Declaration of Independence are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We are familiar with them. The first two, at least, are pretty clear-cut. To be able to exist in a free and pleasant society, a person must be breathing. Liberty, a more abstract idea, is pretty simple, too. Freedom must be given – as much freedom as is possible without infringing on the rights of others and without causing others harm.

The “pursuit of happiness” is where most people – Kid Cudi and Will Smith excluded – get tripped up. What is happiness, anyway? And to what extent should it be promised to Americans? How far should we go to ensure we are happy and able to pursue happiness? Who gets to define happiness? These are the questions we must begin to ask.

The relentless and competitive pursuit of happiness is to blame for many of our nation’s ills. In West Virginia, this is most evidently seen in discourse about the environment and in dealings with the earth.

Most Americans have decided that to be happy and pursue happiness, they need more material goods. Unfortunately, the luxury possessions Americans desire often come in the form of houses, automobiles, and electronics, which all require fossil fuels for manufacturing and distribution.

We can ignore the harmful effects our industry and materialism have had and are having on the earth.

For the most part, we do.

Whether it’s in the name of jobs or convenience, health is sacrificed for “happiness” and expediency on the regular. The facts, though, exist; our environment is in trouble, and if the earth has prob-

ap

A drilling rig is set up near a barn in Springville, Pa., to tap gas from the giant Marcellus Shale gas field. lems, its people have – and are going to have – more problems.

Fracking presents itself as a job creator and an easier way to produce energy, but methane gas released from fracking damages the ozone layer, and water contamination is a dangerous concern, along with many other unknown effects of the procedure. If we care about happiness and the pursuit of happiness, fracking is the obvious choice.

Why would we not frack and be all about fracking?

It gives people work, as well as money to buy things they need or want.

Facing the environmen-

tal concerns we now combat in 2013, “the pursuit of happiness” may no longer be possible – at least not with the standards of living and within the pleasure criteria we’ve set for ourselves. Health, not happiness, needs to become our mantra and the American pursuit.

If we begin to value health, fracking and other environmental issues, like where and how we drill for oil, restrictions for industrial manufacturing and individual choices about transportation and personal energy consumption become problematic.

Americans need to re-

think our political and cultural creed and amend our desire for the implicit rights the founding fathers believed were imbedded within us. Happiness might have been a conceivable and pleasant right when happiness had less to do with destruction of the earth - removing tops of mountains for mining and drilling deep into the earth and ocean for oil to fuel automobiles – but today, the pursuit of happiness might be what’s worst for us.

As Don Draper asks in Mad Men, “What is happiness? It’s a moment before you need more happiness.”

Happiness is about

self, and it’s about securing comfort and pleasure for ourselves. Happiness is also addictive. When in the pursuit of happiness, when happiness becomes the standard, it is difficult to turn back or refocus.

Health is about ourselves and others – not just in the present, but the future as well. Health is about contentment and well being; health is a peace of mind contingent not just on personal selfish desires, but the wholeness, soundness and freedoms of everyone. For the health of ourselves, our communities and the populations to follow, we need to start to re-

think happiness and what it means and what the pursuit of happiness is doing to us.

A pursuit of health would do us and others much better. Not only for our obesity rate – which, according to a new poll, West Virginia is the most obese state in the Union – but for the good of our land, air and sea, as well. We may not be able to change the words in the Declaration of Independence – or want to – but an adjustment of our hopes and pursuits is necessary, preferable, and if we don’t start treating the earth with more care, possibly inevitable.

Pokemon sets standard for gender equality in games one old enough to have handled a PlayStation controller without DualShock DAILY EMERALD support does. The newest “Tomb Raider,” a reboot of Remember when Lara the entire series and an orCroft was just a pair of igin story for its female adbreasts with a gun? Any- venturer, does an amazing

EDER CAMPUZANO

job of making Lara more than a scantily clad Indiana Jones wannabe.

She laughs. She cries.

She gets her ass kicked and dishes back the pain in spades. The folks at Crystal Dynamics gave

their hero depth — “Tomb Raider” has been highly regardedamong the gaming press for furthering gender equality in video games. It’s a trend that’s been gaining traction, particularly as of late (and it’s

Wish You Were Here!

“Because Summer courses are a great way to make your work load easier for the Fall & Spring semesters!”

- Katie Jenkins, Animal Nutritional Sciences major

about damn time).

“BioShock Infinite,” Irrational Games’ newest tale of a dystopian society gone wrong, features a deuteragonist named Elizabeth who saves the male player’s ass repeatedly throughout the game’s 12- to 16-hour duration.

And rather than acting as the standard damsel in distress throughout Booker DeWitt’s adventure in the floating city of Columbia, Elizabeth is a key player in the plot, whose influence affects in-game events just as much as the player character. She’s on equal footing with every male character in the game, often becoming the driving force behind the events in “Infinite.”

But there’s a game studio that has both Irrational Games and Crystal Dynamics beat in the gender equality department, a firm that launches players into adventure with one simple question: Are you a boy or a girl?

That studio is The Pokémon Company.

Ever since “Pokémon Crystal” was released in Japan in 2000 — the game hit North America in 2001 — players have chosen between male and female avatars for their Pocket Monster adventures. The overall story and individual interactions the player has with non-playable characters following this decision aren’t altered by their choice of gender in the least. Boys and girls in the Pokémon World are treated the exact same regardless of circumstance.

The next step would be for The Pokémon Company and Nintendo to include a transgendered or gender neutral protagonist in future titles.

Now that’d be progress that hasn’t been seen in mainstream gaming.

But you’ve gotta hand it to those quirky Japanese game developers: They sure know the value of creating an inclusive experience. How else would the main series have sold nearly 134 million units by 2011?

The new Lara Croft in “Tomb Raider” and “BioShock Infinite’s” Elizabeth may have paved a positive path for gender roles on home consoles as of late, but let’s not forget the girls who laid the foundation on every one of Nintendo’s handheld platforms, from Kanto to Unova.

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THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

TUESDAY APRIL 2, 2013

CAMPUS CALENDAR | 5

PHOTO OF THE DAY

SUDOKU

DIFFICULTY LEVEL MEDIUM

Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit, 1 to 9. For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk.

FRIDAY’S PUZZLE SOLVED

WYTHE WOODS/THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

WVU snowboard team member Josh Zerkel rides at Snowshoe Mountain during spring break.

CAMPUS CALENDAR CAMPUS CALENDAR POLICY To place an announcement, fill out a form in The Daily Athenaeum office no later than three days prior to when the announcement is to run. Information may also be faxed to 304-293-6857 or emailed to dacalendar@mail.wvu.edu.

Announcements will not be taken over the phone. Please in-

FEATURE OF THE DAY THE WVU STUDENT GROUP, THE END IT MOVEMENT, will show the film “Not My Life” tonight at 7 p.m. in the Gluck Theatre. The film investigates the dark, hidden and often unspeakable realities of human trafficking and modern-day slavery. Pizza will be served on a first-come, first-served basis.

EVERY TUESDAY

M O U N TA I N E E R S F O R CHRIST, a Christian student organization, hosts free supper and Bible study at its Christian Student Center. Supper is at 8:15 p.m., and Bible study begins at 9 p.m. All students are welcome. For more information, call 304-599-6151 or visit www.mountaineersforchrist.org.

SIERRA STUDENT COALITION meets at 7 p.m. in the Blackwater Room of the Mountainlair. The group is a grassroots environmental organization striving for tangible change in our campus and community. For more information, email hlargen@mix. wvu.edu.

ECUMENICAL BIBLE STUDY AND CHARISMATIC PRAYER MEETING is held at 7 p.m. at the Potters Cellar of Newman Hall. All are welcome. For more information, call 304-2880817 or 304-879-5752.

MCM is hosted at 7:30 p.m. in 293 Willey St. All are

clude all pertinent information, including the dates the announcement is to run. Announcements will only run one day unless otherwise requested. All non-University related events must have free admission to be included in the calendar.

If a group has regularly scheduled meetings, it should submit all information along with instruc-

welcome.

THE WVU SWING DANCE CLUB meets at 9 p.m. in Multipurpose Room A of the Student Recreation Center. No partner needed. Advanced and beginners are welcome.

For more information, email wvuswingdance@gmail.com

CONTINUAL

WELLNESS PROGRAMS on topics such as drinkWELL, loveWELL, chillWELL and more are provided for interested student groups, organizations or classes by WELLWVU: Wellness and Health Promotion.

W E L LW V U : S T U D E N T HEALTH is paid for by tuition and fees and is confidential.

For appointments or more information, call 304-293-2311 or visit www.well.edu.wvu/ medical.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS meets nightly in the Morgantown and Fairmont areas. For more information, call the helpline at 800-766-4442 or visit www.mrscna.org.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS meets daily. To find a meeting, visit www.aawv.org. For those who need help urgently, call 304-291-7918.

CONFIDENTIAL COUNSELING SERVICES are provided for free by the Carruth Center for Psychological and Psychiatric Services. A walk-in clinic is offered weekdays from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Services include educational, career, individual, couples and group counseling.

Please visit www.well.wvu.edu to find out more information.

WOMEN, INFANTS AND CHILDREN needs volunteers.

tions for regular appearance in the Campus Calendar. These announcements must be resubmitted each semester.

The editors reserve the right to edit or delete any submission.

There is no charge for publication.

Questions should be directed to the Campus Calendar editor at 304-293-5092.

WIC provides education, supplemental foods and immunizations for pregnant women and children under five years of age. For more information call 304-598-5180 or 304-598-5185.

NEW SPRING SEMESTER GROUP THERAPY OPPORTUNITIES are available for free at the Carruth Center. The groups include Understanding Self and Others, Sexual Assault Survivors Group, Mountaineer Men: An Interpersonal Process Group, and Know Thyself: An Interpersonal Process Group.

For more information call 304293-4431 or contact tandy.mcclung@mail.wvu.edu.

MOUNTAINEER SPAY/NEUTER ASSISTANCE PROGRAM is an all-volunteer nonprofit that promotes spay/neuter to reduce the number of homeless pets that are euthanized every year. M-SNAP needs new members to help its cause, as does ReTails, a thrift shop located in the Morgantown Mall.

For more information, visit www.m-snap.org.

LITERACY VOLUNTEERS is seeking volunteers for oneon-one tutoring in basic reading and English as a second language. Volunteer tutors will complete tutor training, meet weekly with their adult learners, report volunteer hours quarterly, attend at least two in-service trainings per year and help with one fundraising event. For more information, call 304-296-3400.

DAILY HOROSCOPES

BY JACQUELINE BIGAR

Dinner for two.

BORN TODAY This year you become a formidable opponent, and you’ll be determined to make your mark. You might not like criticism you get, but you wisely will use it for your betterment. You often surprise others with your decisions and actions. If you are single, many people will come toward you. You might prefer to date rather than commit, and that is your call to make. If you are attached, your sweetie might have difficulty adjusting to the new you. Don’t worry -- this person will get into the moment with you soon enough. CAPRICORN can be unusually stern.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) HHHH Defer to others, as they will be demanding the attention, and you’ll want to let them have it. Use the extra free time to do something you have been postponing. A boss or a parent could surprise you with his or her actions. Go with the flow. Tonight: Go with a friend’s suggestion.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) HHHH You expect a lot from yourself -- and that’s good, because others do, too. A boss still could be unusually controlling, and he or she might be heading in a new direction. Realize that this person could be changing right in front of you. Tonight: Burn the midnight oil.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) HHHHH Detach in order to get the full story. The less said and the more you observe, the more you will learn.

You also might want to take a walk in other people’s shoes if you still do not understand their reactions. Curb a bout of sarcasm. Tonight: Let your imagination roam.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) HHHH An associate demands your attention and insights. You might be shocked at the questions this person asks.

Your impression of him or her might change as a result of more frequent conversations like this. Allow for some space between you. Tonight:

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) HHHHH You could be surprised by an unexpected communication. Know that your initial reaction could be off.

Take time to regroup. Your perception about a change in your daily life can’t even begin to touch what will happen. Worry less. Stay in the moment. Tonight: Make it early.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) HHHHH Your creativity gets pushed to the forefront after you hear some unexpected news. You could wonder what might be best to do under the circumstances. Your final idea will be the best and most rewarding option.

You will know when you hit upon it.

Tonight: Paint the town red.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) HHH Tension builds in an unprecedented manner because of a domestic situation. You could be questioning which way to go with this matter. Do nothing until you are absolutely sure. Listen to your inner voice. Choose a stressbuster for a break. Tonight: Greet the moment positively.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) HHHH Listen to news that is forthcoming, but realize that you have a tendency to make situations more serious than they need to be. You could discover how wrong you are in a discussion.

CROSSWORD ACROSS 1 “SNL”-like show filmed in Canada 5 “Doctor Who” network 8 Rafters shoot them 14 Pre-Euro Italian coin 15 Nest egg letters 16 With 3-Down, way west for many American pioneers 17 __-Iraq War: ‘80s conflict 18 Crooner Perry’s ad?

20 Self-righteous sort 21 Manicurist’s aid 22 Rage inwardly 23 Space pilot Han’s shirt?

25 Through 26 Classic racecars 27 Lighthouse light 30 Nouveau __ 33 U2 frontman’s bit of naughtiness?

36 Back in the day 37 Bedevil 39 PC monitor type 40 Cartoon possum’s corporate symbol?

42 Chilean range 44 Camera stand 45 Roman 1,051 46 Winery container 47 Japanese general Hideki’s talisman?

53 Triumphant cries 55 Disconnect 56 Explosion sound, in comics 57 Movie pooch’s picture?

59 Poetry unit 60 Church key, e.g.

61 “__ My Party”: Lesley Gore hit 62 Fairly matched 63 Great suffering 64 Easter egg dip 65 “That didn’t go well” DOWN 1 Pink ones are unwelcome, except in lingerie 2 Prefix with cumulus 3 See 16-Across 4 Self-portraitist with a bandaged ear 5 Bodybuilder’s “guns” 6 __-Seltzer 7 Desert safari beast 8 Pink-cheeked 9 Dada pioneer Jean 10 __ Gulf: Arabian waterway

11 Reason given for calling in sick 12 Rounded roof 13 Winter whiteness 19 Pizarro’s gold 24 Broad-brimmed hat 25 Chaste priestesses of ancient Rome 27 “__ appŽtit!”

28 Fairy tale start 29 Dozes 30 Like one who can’t put a book down 31 Composer Stravinsky 32 Ponders 33 Male sib 34 “Egad!” in an IM 35 Opposite of paleo38 Long in the tooth 41 Tommy Dorsey hit tune 43 Less clumsy 45 Sullen 47 Internet slang based on a common typo 48 Egg-shaped 49 Harbor wall

50 Eight-time All-Star Tony of the ‘60s-’70s Minnesota Twins 51 Sister of La Toya 52 Warning signs 53 Elemental particle 54 Arizona native 55 Twinkle-toed 58 Rev.’s message

FRIDAY’S PUZZLE SOLVED

COMICS Get Fuzzy

by Darby Conley

Cow and Boy

by Mark Leiknes

You might feel silly that you made such a quick judgment. Tonight: Catch up on a friend’s news.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) HHHH Your finances will become a major conversation, and you might not be sure what your choices are.

Give yourself some time to think through a decision. A family member could surprise you with his or her reaction. Tonight: Balance your checkbook first, then decide.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) HHHHH You beam, and others seem to respond. The problem at this point is that you are unpredictable.

Your desires could change from one day to the next. Others might find it difficult to be the recipients of your varying whims and moods. Tonight: Whatever knocks your socks off.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) HHH You might not be revealing the whole story, as you understand a lot more than others give you credit for. You might act in a most unexpected manner. Be more lively and upbeat. Don’t allow someone to pressure you. Tonight: Not to be found.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) HHHH Listen to what is being shared. Your perspective might be much different than you realize. Recognize that others do not perceive a situation in the same way you do. Lighten up when dealing with a friend. A meeting reveals new ideas. Tonight: Where the action is.

BORN TODAY Writer Emile Zola (1840), singer/songwriter Marvin Gaye (1939), author Christian Andersen (1805)

Pearls Before Swine

by Stephan Pastis

8

SPORTS

Tuesday April 2, 2013

CONTACT US 304-293-5092 ext. 2 | DAsports@mail.wvu.edu

CLEAN SWEEP

Cody schuler Managing editor

Gyorko, WVU baseball on the rise

Nick Arthur/The Daily Athenaeum

Head coach Randy Mazey and members of the WVU baseball team huddle on the mound during a game against Texas Tech at Appalachian Power Park in Charleston, W.Va.

West Virginia sweeps New Orleans, extends win streak to six games By connor murray sports correspondent

Clutch hitting and plenty of offense resulted in a four-game sweep of New Orleans this weekend for the WVU baseball team.

Taking both games of a doubleheader with New Orleans Saturday at Hawley Field not only earned the Mountaineers a sweep of the series but also resulted in coach Randy Mazey’s 200th career victory.

“It’s really hard to sweep people – especially when you play them four times,” Mazey said. “We found a way to win, and that’s what’s good about this team.”

The Mountaineers have been playing some of their best baseball lately, winning six games in a row and seeing their record rise above

the .500 mark for the first time this season.

Picked to finish last in the Big 12 in the preseason poll, WVU has exceeded expectations to this point with a 3-3 record in conference and a 15-13 record overall.

“This really is our first winning streak of the year,” Mazey said.

“When you do that, guys start getting confident, start feeling good about each other.”

During the six-game winning streak, the Mountaineers have averaged 8.5 runs per game. With that type of offensive production, it’s no wonder the team has turned it around.

Although they have been able to win games with offense, both games of Saturday’s double-header showed the team is able to hold its own on

the defensive end, as well.

In the first game, junior Corey Walter pitched a complete game while only allowing one run. The shutdown performance by the lefty helped the Mountaineers cruise to a 5-1 victory.

“It’s definitely a confidence boost going into play down the road,” Walter said. “I knew I had the defense behind me to make plays, and I felt comfortable throwing the ball in the zone.”

The second game proved an offensive struggle as the Mountaineers trailed 3-2 going into the bottom of the sixth inning.

Junior Ryan McBroom tied the game with his sixth home run of the season and later registered the game winning RBI, driving in Jacob Rice with a single in the bottom of the

eighth inning.

Sophomore John Means pitched six innings, giving up two runs while registering seven strikeouts.

Freshman Ryan Hostrander came on to earn the win with two innings of scoreless relief, while Pascal Paul picked up his fourth save on the season after closing the door on the Privateers in the ninth.

The Mountaineers will look to continue their winning streak and avenge an earlier 8-0 loss as they welcome Marshall to Morgantown today at 6 p.m.

Following the one game with Marshall, WVU will resume conference play as the team heads to Waco, Texas for a three-game series with the Baylor Bears starting Friday. dasports@mail.wvu.edu

women’s basketball

West Virginia falls in tournament to Delaware UNIVERSITY OF PITTSBURGH

SUMMER SESSIONS 2013 D I E T R I C H S C H O O L O F A R T S A N D S C I E N C E S C O L L E G E O F G E N E R A L S T U D I E S

By Amit Batra Sports writer

In the opening round of the NCAA tournament, the West Virginia women’s basketball team ended its season March 24 with a 66-53 loss to the No. 15/16 Delaware Blue Hens at the Bob Carpenter Center.

WVU (17-14) had its first-round game of the Bridgeport region at the site of Delaware’s campus in Newark, Del. It was the first NCAA tournament game in the state of Delaware, and it became the perfect ending for the hometown Blue Hens and the sold-out crowd.

Delaware (31-3) started off slow, and the Mountaineers capitalized on that with an early lead. WVU used its solid shooting to propel a 33-26-halftime lead, containing the nation’s second-leading scorer Elena Delle Donne to 13 halftime points on 6-of-11 shooting.

West Virginia used a 7-2 run to close the first half – a half that had three ties and seven lead changes.

The sixth-seeded Blue Hens would bounce back with 40 second-half points,

with 20 by the 6-foot-5 Delle Donne, to extend their school-record winning streak to 26 games. Delle Donne finished the game with 33 points.

With 4,532 fans in attendance, Delaware used its home crowd to spark its play in the second half and really give WVU a hard time in the hostile environment.

“To win a game like this in front of our home crowd, which was electric, there’s no other way to describe it other than I’m just totally thrilled for my players, this program, for the state of Delaware,” said Delaware head coach Tina Martin.

The 11th-seeded Mountaineers struggled to contain Delle Donne in the second half, as she used her height and step-back moves to help the Blue Hens score when WVU had its scoring droughts. The senior finished 10-for-24 from the floor, went 12-for-13 at the foul line and also added seven rebounds.

“This was actually better than I could have even imagined,” Delle Donne said. “Our fans were absolutely crazy. The atmosphere was amazing. I was

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able to get away from the players a little bit instead of banging with them inside.

I was able to elevate and shoot over people.”

Prior to last year, Delaware had never won an NCAA tournament game.

The Blue Hens had yet to reach the Sweet 16 prior to this season after they defeated third-seeded North Carolina the Tuesday night following the win over WVU. Delaware struggled to match West Virginia’s quickness in the first half, but Martin would use a bigger lineup in the second half and a 2-3 zone defense to give the Mountaineers some trouble.

“It’s two halves,” said West Virginia head coach Mike Carey. “They went 2-3, a little bit bigger in the second half, and they hurt us on the boards. The first half, we didn’t put Delle Donne on the foul line. Second half she had 13 foul shots.

“We just didn’t get the stops we were getting in the first half. This is the tale of two halves – give them credit – they went to a zone and we didn’t execute against it.”

In her final game as a Mountaineer, senior center Ayana Dunning scored 15 points and added 10 rebounds for WVU, which ended the year on a fourgame losing streak.

Both teams had trouble shooting following intermission; West Virginia missed its first six shots and the Blue Hens went just 1-for-7. WVU finished the game with 17 turnovers, including 11 in the second half alone. It went

see women’s on PAGE 6

It was only fitting that Jedd Gyorko’s first hit as a major leaguer would go for a double. The Morgantown native and current San Diego Padres’ starting third baseman left West Virginia as the all-time leader in extra base hits (113).

Gyorko’s rise – sure to be one of this summer’s top feel-good stories for Mountaineer fans – is even better, because it started here in Morgantown.

The player who would eventually go on to be ranked as one of the top 50 prospects in baseball started his career at University High School. After spurning other scholarship offers from – forgive me – more-established programs, Gyorko came to WVU and did what he always has done.

Hit the baseball.

The kid who started his Mountaineer career with a 21-game hit streak would leave WVU with a programbest .404 career batting average. In 168 career games, Gyorko failed to register a hit just 24 times. Only 13 times in his career did he fail to reach base.

He was awarded the Brooks Wallace award in 2010 as Division I’s best shortstop, and following the 2010 MLB Draft, he began a three-year stretch in the Padres’ minor league organization, continuing his bat’s prolific pop.

Three years spent in minor league ball led to 62 home runs, 255 runs batted in and a .319 batting average and a big-time reputation as a serious talent.

In his final stop of minor league ball with the AAA Tucson Padres in 2012, Gyorko hit .328 and clubbed 24 home runs in only 92 games.

He’s got a big-time bat, people. I know it, you know it, and the people of San Diego are about to know it.

With the West Virginia baseball team in the midst of a revival, it helps that Gyorko, widely regarded as one of the best players in school history, is going to be making regular appearances in a big-league ballpark near you.

The Mountaineers are exceeding expectations under first-year head coach Randy Mazey so far, and a six-game winning streak has propelled the team into casual discussion alongside spring football.

This is a good thing.

Baseball has always felt like an afterthought at West Virginia, but that’s changing.

The move to the Big 12 Conference has played a big part in that, but it goes beyond playing new teams.

A new stadium is coming, and more funding for the program will lead to better opportunities.

Everything going on in Morgantown to improve the baseball program is a great thing, but some things, like Gyorko’s rise, you can’t predict or plan.

They just happen.

Gyorko has proven himself capable of contributing for the Padres this year.

Several people have even pegged him as a serious dark horse candidate for the National League Rookie of the Year award.

While Gyorko spends his first summer in the big leagues, the Mountaineer baseball team will be finishing up its first season in the Big 12 Conference.

Though the two are separate, there is no doubt the success of each will ultimately prove beneficial to all Mountaineer fans – wherever they may be. charles.schuler@mail.wvu.edu

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THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

6 | SPORTS/CLASSIFIEDS

gymnastics

West Virginia finishes third at Big 12 championships

Tuesday April 2, 2013

Clas ifieds SPECIAL NOTICES

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FURNISHED APARTMENTS patrick gorrell/The Daily Athenaeum

The West Virginia Gymnastics team huddles during a match earlier in the season.

by meghan carr

sports correspondent

The West Virginia University gymnastics team finished third with a score of (194.675) in their first Big 12 Conference Championship meet March 23 in Ames, Iowa.

The Mountaineers finished behind five-time Big 12 Champion No. 2 Oklahoma (197.200, and Iowa State (196.175).

Th e Mou nt a i n e e rs matched their lowest score of the season. They previously earned a 194.675 at Pittsburgh in their 2013 season opener.

This was the Sooners’ second consecutive Big 12 title.

OU placed first in all events – the first Big 12 team to do so.

Iowa State hosted the event and solidified their spot in the NCAA Regionals after earning their highest score of the season.

Senior Kaylyn Millick

finished second overall after scoring 39.2. Following the meet, she was named to the All Big 12 Championship team.

Head coach Jason Butts believes his team struggled with mental mistakes.

“We had mental errors and unfortunately had to count a fall on bars. These are mistakes that can be fixed in Cary Gym,” Butts said.

Th e Mou nt a i n e e rs started the meet on floor and earned a 48.725 overall. Senior Alaska Richardson scored 9.85, followed

by Millick’s 9.775. Senior Chelsea Goldschrafe earned a 9.750, and junior Hope Sloanhoffer tallied a 9.7. Junior Makenzie Bristol scored a 9.650, followed by sophomore Dayah Haley, who earned a 9.575.

In the second rotation, the Mountaineers totaled 49.1 on vault, their ninth 49.0-plus score of the season on vault. Richardson, Millick and freshman Jaida

Lawrence had identical scores of 9.850, followed by junior Hope Sloanhoffer’s 9.800. Goldschrafe scored a 9.750, and Haley finished with a 9.600.

The Mountaineers struggled on bars in their third rotation and had to count a fall. Bars have been the Mountaineers’ weakness throughout the 2013 season.

Lawrence opened the lineup with an 8.95 score.

Goldschrafe earned her second-best score of the season on bars with a 9.725.

Sloanhoffer tallied a 9.775, followed by junior Eric Smith’s 8.600 score. Millick earned a 9.750, and junior anchor Amanda Carpenter scored a 9.675.

The Mountaineers got back on track in the final rotation, scoring 48.975 on beam. Millick finished with a 9.825 – the fourth-best score of the meet. Sloanhoffer, Smith and sophomore Beth Deal scored a 9.8 and tied for ninth place. Sophomore Lia Salzano earned

a 9.75, and Carpenter finished with a 9.700.

Coach Butts said he doesn’t want his team to focus on the Big 12 Championship, because it’s over.

“We have the NCAA Regionals coming to our Coliseum, and I think we will be a lot more comfortable there,” Butts said. “It’s in front of our home crowd and we will be ready.”

The NCAA announced championship bids March 25. WVU will host three Big 10 teams, No. 5 Michigan will hold the No. 1 seed, and Big 10 Champion No. 8 Nebraska will hold No. 2 seed. No. 17 Illinois will hold the No. 3 seed. Kentucky, ranked No. 19 nationally will hold the No. 4 seed. WVU will compete in the No. 5 seed, while EAGL member North Carolina takes the No. 6 seed.

The NCAA Regional will take place Saturday at 6 p.m. in the Coliseum. dasports@mail.wvu.edu

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men’s basketball

Med. Center & PRT

Huggins announces three players to transfer West Virginia men’s basketball head coach Bob Huggins said late in the season personnel changes were looming for the offseason.

Monday afternoon, the veteran head coach officially announced three players had asked for their releases and have the intentions of transferring.

Sophomores Jabarie Hinds, Aaron Brown and Volodymyr Gerun will be leaving the program.

Hinds started all 33 games his freshman season while averaging 28.8 minutes per game and 7.4 points per game. This year, however, the Mount Vernon, N.Y., native saw his playing time decrease to 22.8 minutes per game and finished

women’s

Continued from page 8 just 7-for-22 from the floor in the second half. The Mountaineers were outscored 4020 in the final 20 minutes of play. A lot of that was thanks to the Delle Donne’s play.

“What happened is we didn’t do a good job with her,” Carey said. “We started pressing, and we had our smaller guards matched up

with 56 fewer assists.

Hinds was a four-star recruit coming out of high school, according to Scout. com.

Brown appeared in 32 games his freshman campaign, compared to only 17 appearances this season.

He saw his points per game drop from 4.2 to 1.2 while playing 384 fewer minutes his sophomore season.

Brown, a Yardley, Pa., native, was a three-star recruit out of high school according to Scout.com.

This season was Gerun’s first in a Mountaineer uniform. The Dnipropetrovsk, Ukraine, native only appeared in seven games this season, averaging 1.3 Patrick Gorrell/The Daily Athenaeum points per game.

WVU head coach Bob Huggins applauds his team during a game last season.

–nsa on her on a rotation in the press. We kept telling people to switch it and switch it back, because they don’t push it. I thought to me that was the biggest difference in the second half.

“When we started pressing and trapping a little bit in the rotation she ended up on a smaller guard and took advantage of that. We didn’t do a good job on the rotation.”

The Blue Hens only gave up the ball nine times, and they shot 19-of-22 from the

charity stripe (86.4 percent) – a significant advantage to West Virginia’s 5-of-6 from the foul line. The Mountaineers shot 38.9 percent from the field compared to Delaware’s 39.7 percent.

With the season coming to an end, it seemed a success that West Virginia could remain competitive with the amount of adversity and injuries during the course of the year.

“First of all, I am proud of our players,” Carey said.

“With all the injuries and

stuff going on, a lot of people would probably think I was in there yelling at them, but I wouldn’t. I was in there praising them. Yaya Dunning is a great student-athlete. She already has her degree and is going to get her masters at the end of the year, and we are very proud of that.”

The Blue Hens made it to the Sweet 16 before falling to the second-seeded Kentucky Wildcats. dasports@mail.wvu.edu

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TUESDAY APRIL 2, 2013

CLASSIFIEDS | 15

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HIRING IMMEDIATELY, no experience required, entry-level, part-time/full-time, seasonal/semester, low-key environment, advancement possibility, super-flexible schedules.

Apply Online/Call www.WorkforStudents.com 304-292-2229

LIFEGUARDS NEEDED: The Pines Country Club in Morgantown is hiring full and part time lifeguards. Lifeguards should be a minimum of 16 years old, certified in Red Cross Lifeguard training, CPR/FPR, first aid or equivalent. Applications found online at www.thepinescc.com or in the club business office.

Will rent quickly!

Mr. C’s WISEGUY CAFE looking for part-time cook and delivery driver. Phone 304.599.3636 or 304.288.2200

304-216-6134

WORDPRESS AND PHP DEVELOPER NEEDED to revise collegesausage.com Photoshop skills a plus. e-mail Mark at collegesausage.com

304-296-7476 No Pets

BARTENDING UP TO $300 A DAY potential. No experience necessary. Training available. Age 18 plus. 800-965-6520 Ext. 285

LIFEGUARDS NEEDED. The Pines Country Club in Morgantown is hiring full and part time lifeguards. Lifeguards should be a minimum of 16 years old, certified in Red Cross Lifeguard training, CPR/FPR, first aid or equivalent. Applications found online at www.thepinescc.com or in the club business office.

Available May 2013

A Must See 4 Bedroom House Suitable for 3 or 4 People w/Porch

BARTENDERS WANTED. Bucket Head’s Pub. 10-mins from downtown, Morgantown.

Small local bar. All Shifts Avail. No experience necessary. 304-365-4565.

HIRING IMMEDIATELY. No experience required, entry-level, part-time, low-key environment, advancement possibility, super-flexible schedule. Apply Online/Call www.workforstudents.com 304-292-2229

10 MIN MIN WA WA LK TO TO CA CA M P U S

LARGE, UNFURNISHED 3/BR apartment.

Close to campus/hospitals. Large Deck, appliances, WD hook-up, off-street parking.

No pets. $800/mo+utilities. 304-594-2225

A-1 location for downtown campus

Place your ads by calling 293-4141, drop by the office at 284 Prospect St., or e-mail to the address below. Non-established and student accounts are cash with order.

Classified Rates 1 Issue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.28 2 Issues . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9.68 3 Issues . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13.20 4 Issues . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17.60 Weekly Rate (5 days) . . . . . . . . . . . . .22.00 20-Word Limit Classified Display Rates 1.2”. . . . . . . . . . . . .22.68 . . . . . . . . . . . . .26.44 1x3 . . . . . . . . . . . . 34.02.. . . . . . . . . . . . .39.66 1x4 . . . . . . . . . . . . .45.36 . . . . . . . . . . . . .52.88 1x5 . . . . . . . . . . . . .56.70 . . . . . . . . . . . . .66.10 1x6 . . . . . . . . . . . . .68.04 . . . . . . . . . . . . .79.32 1x7 . . . . . . . . . . . . .79.38 . . . . . . . . . . . . .92.54 1x8 . . . . . . . . . . . . .90.72 . . . . . . . . . . . .105.76

Lease

* A MUST SEE 4 BEDROOM HOUSE, 2 full baths, new furnishings, Built-in kitchen, D/W, Microwave, New W/W carpet, Washer/Dryer, Porch, 8 min walk to main campus. Off-street Parking. NO PETS. 304-296-7476 www.perilliapartments.com

3

3BD HOUSE, BATTALLE AVE, quiet street, 5/minute walk to Mountainlair.

Off-street-parking, all kitchen appliances W/D. Available May 15. $420/person/utils included. 1/BR $495. 304-685-8170.

CLOSE TO CAMPUS. 4BR, 2BTH with WD. $1100/mth plus utilities and deposit.

304-594-3705

ROOMMATES

WELL-MAINTAINED 3/BR HOUSE UNIT. Located close to main campus. 836 Naomi St. W/D, Microwave, D/W, Free off-street parking. $425/mo/per person plus utilities.

No Pets. Call Rick 724-984-1396.

FULLY FURNISHED PRIVATE BATHROOM includes utilities, internet, cable, off street parking, next to busstop $500 per month per person. 740-381-0361

IT’S EASY TO ORDER A FAST-ACTING LOW-COST Daily Athenaeum CLASSIFIED AD...

CALL 304-293-4141 OR USE THIS HANDY MAIL FORM

(Off Don Nehlen Drive)

www.metropropertymgmt.net NOW RENTING TOP OF FALLING RUN ROAD Morgan Point 1+2/BR $590-$790+ utilities. Semester lease. WD. DW. Parking.

NO PETS. Call: 304-290-4834.

PRETE RENTAL APARTMENTS

EFF: 1BR: 2BR: Now Leasing For 2013

UNFURNISHED/FURNISHED OFF-STREET PARKING EVANSDALE / STAR CITY LOCATION LOCALLY OWNED ON-SITE MAINTENANCE MOST UNITS INCLUDE: HEAT, WATER, and GARBAGE SECURITY DEPOSIT REQUIRED

Mountain Line Bus Service Every 10 Minutes and Minutes From PRT

304-599-4407

ABSOLUTELY NO PETS WWW.PRETERENTAL.COM

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The Daily Athenaeum 284 Prospect St. Morgantown, WV 26506