The Sundial Volume 62 Issue 8

Sundial The

Issue 8 Spring 2022

Dating in Isolation: How people have adapted to finding love online Love on(the)line, a personal account.

Love, lust and others: A deeper look at young love and consent.

Applications of love: The risks and rewards of dating apps.

Fairytale of love lost and why marriage is not a priority for youth.

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Contents

Spring 2022|Volume 62, Issue 8

2. Letter From the Editor 4. Digital Dating Dangers of online dating and how to combat them.

8. Fact Check Why younger generations are saying “I Don’t.”

10. This Generation Loves Porn How is it affecting their perception of intimacy?

14. Street Beat What pressures do you face on dating apps?

16. Too Close For Comfort From App to Wed: A tale of online dating.

Cover: Photo by Kaitlyn Lavo; illustration by Angel Peña.

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

B

eing a gay woman navigating the new age of dating has been far from linear. Yes, that was a non-straight joke. I’ve experienced all the gay stereotypes: falling for the straight girl, married women asking me to be their “third”, dating longdistance, and the hardest one of all, falling in love with my best friend.

Whether you are gay, straight or anything in between, modern-day dating is a wild ride. From ghosting, an overflow of apps, and anxiety-filled interactions, it’s a rough time to be single.

I attempted virtual dating in the midst of a global pandemic. We tried virtual movie nights, virtual workouts, and finding recipes to cook together over Zoom. Romantic, I know. We did our best to make it work. This inspired creative ways to share our love languages from afar, but it became harder to feel connected. The distance and virtual fatigue got to us both.

Online dating brought us together, but at the end of the day we are human. Our physiology needs in-person connections.

As our generation learns to break from traditional beliefs, less of us seek marriage, kids, monogamy and other nuclear ideologies. We now prioritize ourselves and our mental health while shaping a new culture of relationships.

As the editorial team discussed this issue’s cover, we tried to break down how we could visually convey the feelings of dating under the current social conditions.

You may be asking yourself, “What’s with the eggplant on the cover?” Believe me, this was one of the strangest photoshoots I have ever done.

Those who have experienced the world of online dating know that if someone is not offering their heart, it’s just about sex or money. As a woman, this was a consistent theme while virtually dating. I’ve seen people meet their soulmates online, but sometimes it takes filtering through the unsolicited eggplants before meeting prince or princess charming.

This issue takes a deep dive into the world of modern dating. We hope you find something to relate to as you flip through the pages of dating in this virtually-driven life.

Kaitlyn Lavo

Maia Aslaksen Michael Goldsmith Ian McKay Copy Editors

Jordan Puente Sports Editor

Shannon Carter Editor-in-Chief

Grace Da Rocha Culture Editor

Troy Barnes Ivy Jenkins Bryan Hernandez Staff

Carolyn Burt Managing Editor

William Argueta Illustrator

Arvli Ward Publisher

Michaella Huck Print Editor

Marissa Roberts News Editor

Jody Holcomb General Manager

Mercedes Cannon-Tran Print Managing Editor

Trevor Morgan Online Editor

Sandra Tan Business Manager

Angel Peña Lead Designer

Kaitlyn Lavo Photo Editor

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Published by the Department of Journalism, California State University Northridge Manzanita Hall 140 18111 Nordhoff St. Northridge, CA 91330-8258 Editorial hello@sundial.csun.edu • (818) 677-2915 Advertising ads@csun.edu • (818) 677-2998

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Photo Illustration: “Cat Fishing” by Kaitlyn Lavo. The online world is a scary place, as it’s easy for people to say they are a totally different person than who they are in real life. Modeled by Jordan Haddad and Daniel Jabriel Hernandez.

Troy Barnes

Kaitlyn Lavo

Digital Dating: W

hen Rebecca Singleton was a CSUN student a few years ago, she would browse dating apps like many her age would and went on a few dates.

On one of those dates, she thought that she was going to be murdered.

She was picked up by a man she had met on OkCupid one night.

The pair drove to a park, where the man attempted to get her to kiss him. She repeatedly turned down his advances and thought she had fended him off.

Her gut was telling her something was really wrong.

Then the man told her he had something to show her in his trunk.

They got out of the car and walked to the back. When the trunk popped open, she saw something that set off every alarm bell in her head.

It was a shotgun.

“Thank god the park was close to my house and I just told him I had to go home and blocked that psycho on everything,” Singleton said. “But it still gives me a lot of anxiety that he knows my name and had my phone number.”

The fear of a first date turning dangerous exists somewhere in the back of many people’s minds, but Singleton’s experience is just one representation of when that fear becomes a reality.

Dangers of online dating and how to combat them

The dating landscape has shifted dramatically towards online dating and away from traditional methods in recent years. Dating apps like Tinder, Hinge and Grindr have become the number one way that singles meet each other, according to a 2019 research paper published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Data from Business of Apps also shows that over 300 million people worldwide use a dating app, roughly 4% of the world’s population.

“The activity level has gotten to the point where if you’re not online and don’t have an online dating strategy, you’re probably going to stay single,” said Julie Spira, the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert.

With millions of people on dating apps, thoughts about their safety might not be the first thing present in millions of minds. But some serious crimes relating to dating apps have occurred.

Meetups from dating apps have been directly linked to serious crimes like murder and sexual assault.

Quantifying the amount of violent crime that can be linked directly with dating apps is difficult, but a 2015 estimate from True Crime Daily placed the numbers at more than 16,000 abductions, 100 murders and thousands of rapes

each year across America.

In 2016, 35-year-old Preston Talley was murdered in Florida by two men after he was lured into the woods by someone he met on the dating app Plenty of Fish. A 2019 ProPublica story detailed a woman in Massachusetts who was sexually assaulted by a three-time convicted rapist and designated sex offender, who she had met on Plenty of Fish and gone on a few dates with.

Dating apps have also created opportunities for criminals to target victims for scams and blackmail. Romance scams in which a fraudster solicits money from someone they’ve wooed online have proliferated and resulted in $1 billion in losses in 2021, according to an FBI press release.

Blackmail has also become a huge issue on dating apps, and is something that can particularly affect the LGBTQ community.

In the U.K., a man was sentenced to five years in prison for threatening to expose men he hooked up with on Grindr as gay to their loved ones if the victims didn’t pay him after their encounter.

Concerns for privacy have also been an issue with dating apps because of how they collect data like location and personal information.

The amount of data some dating apps collect is shocking.

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The Guardian journalist Judith Duportail asked Tinder for a copy of her data. In return, the company sent back 800 pages worth of her personal information, including her Facebook likes, Instagram photos, and records of every chat she had on the app in four years.

The Guardian journalist Judith Duportail asked Tinder for a copy of her data. In return, the company sent back 800 pages worth of her personal information, including her Facebook likes, Instagram photos, and records of every chat she had on the app in four years.

Hacking has also been an issue with dating apps. In 2021, a hacker released the data of 2.3 million users of lifestyle-focused dating app MeetMindful that included Facebook account information and geolocation information.

Spira says safety has definitely improved over the years.

“Everybody in the dating industry is concerned with safety.

What I’m pleased to see is how all of the apps are stepping up to make sure that there’s a safe environment for singles. All of the apps have dating advice on how to go out on a safe date and how to vet your dates,” Spira said.

Spira pointed out that Tinder, the world's most popular dating app, has laid out new safety steps for users like making sure to always meet in a public place and avoiding alcohol when on a first date.

Tinder has also made reporting abusive or potentially-dangerous users easier within the chat menu,

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using the shield icon that prompts users about danger and gives them the opportunity to report someone.

Dating app companies have made some strides in protecting their users’ pockets by adding Know Your Client procedures like multifactor authentication and verification photos, which help cut down on fraudulent accounts used in romance scams.

Dating apps rely mainly on user reports to find malicious activity on their platforms. In the past when criminal offenses occurred, it fell on the user to contact authorities in an emergency situation.

Currently Tinder has partnered with tech safety company Noonlight to create a panic button feature that connects users to a live representative who can talk to them, contact emergency services and send vital location data to first responders.

Match Group, the world’s largest dating app company and owner of Tinder, Hinge and Plenty of Fish, has also partnered with the nonprofit tech safety company Garbo to create an opportunity for users to run an in-app background check that utilizes public records to reveal convictions and histories of abuse.

But the background checks are set to be rolled out as a “freemium”

feature that users will have to pay for when they want to use it. The price for this feature is uncertain, but Match Group and Garbo say they are trying to ensure that the price is accessible to all users.

One thing that every social platform struggles with is maintaining a balance between user experience and privacy.

Tinder, OkCupid and Hinge have all made commitments to user privacy and the security of their data. A 2017 study by Kaspersky determined that the nine largest dating apps all had quality cybersecurity to prevent hackers from gaining access to user’s information.

New normals have overtaken much of our world in the last few years. Love is an important factor in many lives, but caution, careful vetting and confidence in who people are meeting online should always be exercised.

What saved Singleton is something Spira preaches as the main thing to do in online dating — trust your gut.

“I don’t tell people to get a background check after one date, I tell people to use their intuition,” Spira said. “Your gut is the wisest thing you’ve got going.”

The data below depicts the percentage increase for the amount of couples who have found their significant others online, compared to the decrease in those finding them in day-to-day human interaction, between 1995 and 2017.

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Source: Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS) Source :Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS)

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Fact Check

Brian Hernandez

Carolyn Burt

‘I Don’t’ Why younger Issue 8 Spring 2022generations are saying

Y

oung adults’ desire to marry has greatly dwindled over the years as factors like fear of commitment, inflation and high divorce rates have taken a toll on younger generations.

A majority of millennials — those born from 1981 to 1996 — aren’t tying the knot at the same rate as previous generations.

56% of millennials are not married, leaving less than half of millennials saying “I do,” according to the Pew Research Center.

For communications major and millennial Cara Polus there is a different mentality towards marriage that her generation has, compared to how her parents approached it, who have been married for over 35 years.

“There’s a lot of fear around marriage and getting trapped into something that may not be good,” Polus said. “A lot of people are just wanting to go on a journey with someone before they commit to something that big.”

Current generations feel hesitant towards marriage due to the high divorce rates in baby boomers, which have doubled over the

past 25 years, according to a Pew Research study.

Tyler Mikkelson, a communications major and a millennial, voiced the same sentiment while adding that he has many friends with divorced parents.

“My parents never got divorced, but half of my friends’ parents got divorced. How do you see that and say, ‘Oh, marriage is a good thing,’” Mikkelson said. “My brother’s friends got married in their early thirties [and] late twenties, and they seem happy. We’ll see in 10 years.”

To add to the concerns from younger generations, a recent survey by the Institute for Family Studies showed that the most popular place to meet for young adults is online.

Those born from 1997 to 2012, deemed Generation Z, can attest to the rise of online dating.

Carla Cruz, a biology major who is a part of Gen Z, claimed that social media plays a big role in why this generation isn’t marrying.

“I feel like it has a big impact on our generation,” said Cruz.

“The older generations were into being more connected with their

significant other. Our generation is more isolated.”

Commitment issues come to mind for art major and Gen Zer Daniel Espinoza, who also highlighted social media as the culprit. Espinoza asserted that this generation doesn’t want to settle down, and the rise of social media makes it easy to play the field.

Rebecca Namuddu, a Gen Z psychology major, believes the lack of marriages also has to do with inflation. The most recent consumer price index report indicated the highest level of inflation since 1982, with an increase in prices of 7.5% in 2021.

With inflation on young people’s minds, there is also the concern of economic security. Young adults ages 18-34 want a healthy socioeconomic relationship — having a full-time job that pays high wages and great housing — before a wedding, according to a 2018 report from the U.S. Census Bureau.

As millennials seek to avoid and change the mistakes of past generations, in terms of marriage, it will be interesting to watch which footsteps Gen Z chooses to follow.

This Generation

Loves Porn:

How is it affecting their perception of intimacy?

Ivy Jenkins

W

Eddy Chen/HBO

Will Argueta

hile millennials and Generation Zers are constantly bombarded with depictions of sex and the pressure to have it through pornography and television, young adults and teenagers are having less sex than previous generations, according to psychologist Jean Twenge.

Younger generations might value relationships, but the idea of sex has taken precedence over the emotional. Survey data collected in the journal Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity from 400 internet users revealed a correlation between pornography usage and loneliness.

Pornhub’s 2020 tech review claims the site generates 130 million views daily. The review found that viewership increased by 42% in the U.S. at the start of the pandemic. Users between the ages of 1834 make up 51% of Pornhub viewers.

Porn has created a sexual divide between generations. Younger generations appear to be having less sex compared to older generations when they were young adults. Growing access to the internet seems to be a contributing factor.

According to The Journal of Sex Research, easy access to pornography means young adults are more likely to consume it than previous generations. For male college students, 67% agreed that pornography is “an acceptable way to express one’s sexuality,” while only 37% of their fathers felt the same. Nearly 50% of female college students agreed, compared to just 20% of their mothers.

Television paints the image of young adults today as sex obsessed, but that’s not entirely true. By combining seven large studies done between the years 1976-2016, Twenge found that young people today have less sex, do less drugs, try alcohol later, and go out less than any previous generation.

Rae Alexandra, arts and cultural writer for KQED, explained that although television depicts young adults as sexually promiscuous, the number of teens having sex is dropping.

“Yet the 17-year-olds in ‘Euphoria’ are presented as doing almost nothing else,” Alexandra said.

“Euphoria” is a popular HBO show that is setting viewership records as it depicts the complicated lives of a group of high school students navigating the world of sex, drugs, trauma, relationships and identity.

In the pilot episode, Kat, played by Barbie Ferreira, sits in a room full of boys. They ask her questions about her sexual history, insinuating that she isn’t cool because she is a virgin. Embarrassed, she lies about her sexual experience. When asked about her “body count,” the number of people she has slept with, she insists her number is high.

Growing social anxiety might be a reason for young adults and teenagers having less sex. The Centers for Diesease Control and Prevention released a Youth Risk Behavior Survey that found a decrease in sexual intercourse among high schoolers from 1991-2015.

Tara Parker-Pope of the New York Times said social isolation in millennials can explain why they are having less sex than older generations. Sexual activity of young adults contradicts the way the media portrays hookup culture. In a report by San Diego State University, 15% of young adults born in the 1990s reported having no sexual partners since turning 18, compared with only 6% of Gen Xers.

We see the sexual divide between generations, but what about the divide between those who participate in casual sex and those who don’t? Lisa Wade, sociology professor and author of “American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus,” discussed the reality of hookup culture for many students.

“About a third of students opt out altogether; they find hookup culture unappealing and would rather not have sex at all than have it the way this culture mandates,” Wade said in the Scholars Strategy Report. Some claim mental health can be affected by participating in casual sex.

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“While some feel fulfilled by hookups,

others may feel pressured by media or peers to engage in these kinds [of] sexual encounters.”

- Alexis Mendez, member of CSUN’s Campus Care Advocates

Parker-Pope contends that engaging in hookups makes sex less meaningful. A 2018 survey from Cigna showed that people ages 18-22 are reported to have the highest loneliness score, 48.3%, while those 72 and older are the least lonely, at 38.6%.

Susan Krauss Whitborne, psychology professor and writer for Psychology Today, reported that, “College students who recently engaged in casual sex reported lower levels of self-esteem, life satisfaction, and happiness compared to those who had not had casual sex in the past month.”

This is not to say that casual sex makes you depressed, but rather that loneliness can be casued by impersonal relationships. Loneliness can lead to “forms of anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation and poor health behaviour like disordered eating, substance use, and poor sleep quality,” said psychologist Nancy Sokarno.

With casual sex considered a rite of passage for college students, the importance of affirmative consent is needed now more than ever. Ideas of consent can be effected for those who are engaging in sex with these current ideas of intimacy, shaped by isolation or pornography.

Leah Fessler, a gender and relationships reporter, told The Atlantic that instances of sexual assualt on campuses are always credited to intoxication but hardly ever look at the social pressures that push students into engaging in hookups. Sexual assualt statistics done by the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network shows that

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54% of people between the ages of 18-34 have reported being a victim of sexual assault.

Barrett Morris, CSUN’s Title IX coordinator, explained that when students don’t have a respect for principles like intimacy and consent, rises in sexual assault can be the result.

“Not having a value for intimacy is a big part of sexual assualt,” said Morris. “People who have a respect for intimacy are less likely to be accused of sexual assult.”

“Grown-ish” follows the life of Zoey Johnson as she explores relationships, college and friends. In an episode titled “Messy,” affirmative consent is questioned after rumors spread about two students hooking up while under the influence. As a result, the school enforces an “Enthusiastic Sober Consent” policy, similar to that of Title IX’s affirmative consent.

Some students are against the policy. The group is divided, with the majority of them arguing that the policy would ruin their college experience. This scene portrays college students as sex obsessed. One character argues, “We came here to meet new people, get trashed with them and then have sex with them.”

There are also young adults who feel pressured by the culture of hooking up.

Alexis Mendez is a member of CSUN’s Campus Care Advocates, a group that assists in confidential crisis care on campus.

“While some feel fulfilled by hookups, others may feel pressured by media or peers to engage in these kinds [of] sexual encounters,” Mendez said.

Alexa Demie and Jacob Elordi in Season 1 Episode 5 of “Euphoria.” Photo Courtesy of Warner Media.

xx

Street Beat

Michael Medina

Kaitlyn Lavo

Sundial Asks: The

What pressures do you face on dating apps?

O

nline dating has skyrocketed since the birth of social media, as different dating sites and apps have popped up for every demographic imaginable. Into astrology? There is an app for that. Into farmers? There is an app for that. Into older women? There is an app for that.

Skepticism that says online dating will die down is far from reality. According to an article in The Telegraph, 70% of couples in the developed world will meet online by 2040, up from 46% today.

However, is online dating for college students viable? Though online dating is expected to stick around in mainstream consciousness, there are

(From left) Yvette Tran, Leyna Do and Rachel Hur sit on the outdoor patio of the CSUN Arbor Grill in Northridge, Calif., on Feb. 8, 2022.

risks involved. Shows like “Catfish: The TV Show” highlight ways in which people conceal their real identity in hopes of finding online love and connections.

In addition, online dating sites are not required to do background checks on their users. There are many people who use dating sites for nefarious purposes, many of which put users in danger. Gina Rushton of BuzzFeed News wrote about how a man in Australia sexual assulted a woman after he felt he was entitled to sex because he thought that is what Tinder was for.

It is important to see how CSUN students feel about dating in a new age of social media.

Esteven Sian “To be honest, I think it’s dumb. For a lot of people it probably did help, because I know some friends that met on Tinder.”

Subee Vo “It was rough,” Vo said about her experience with online dating sites. Vo experienced people lying about things online. She also feels that talking with people online can get quite repetitive.

Leyna Do: “Some of my friends

are online dating…They struggle to find people in person.”

Rachel Hur: “You never know what someone’s intention[s] are.”

Yvette Tran: “They can skew their words in a certain way to best appeal to you.”

Too Close For Comfort

From App to Wed:

Mercedes Cannon-Tran

Teri Bocko

A tale of online dating Quan Tran and Mercedes Cannon-Tran celebrate their wedding on Oct. 22, 2021, at the Cicada Club in Los Angeles, Calif.

T

he days of spontaneous and organic first encounters seem almost a thing of the distant past in the current dating climate. It seems like meeting others is easier than ever, with innovations such as social media platforms, speed dating on Zoom, and dating apps tailored to suit anyone's needs.

With access to new people more streamlined than ever, it poses the question of how authentic is online dating? I am here to share that it may not be as dismal as it often appears.

I met my husband almost seven years ago in 2015 on a little-known app called Plenty of Fish. Like quite a few others, I was apprehensive about connecting with strangers online, especially in the pursuit of a relationship.

As I am sure is the case for many dating app users, I have my share of tales in the realm of online dating, ranging from comedic to flat-out horror genre. I had run into almost every kind of personality and background while navigating online dating, and even a few unbelievable characters. But when I met my husband, something was definitely

different — in a good way.

We began chatting on the app.

After several days, and some FBI-level investigating of his social media, I felt comfortable giving him my number and moving the first baby step. We then corresponded for over a week before deciding to meet in person, before our first date. I mean, I had to make sure he wasn’t a serial killer, right?

Great news: he was in fact not a serial killer. Our initial meeting was only supposed to be around 30 minutes to make sure both parties were in fact who they said. We ended up spending almost three hours talking and getting to know each other.

We mutually agreed the best thing to do would be to go on an actual first date, and so we did. Our official first date was the encore weekend of “Hollywood Horror Nights” at Universal Studios that year. After running for our lives and sharing our first kiss on the steps of the infamous Norman Bates “Psycho” house, we have been inseparable since.

We finally took our forever vows last October after having to move the date from 2020 to 2021, like so many

other couples.

I still have to admit that when people ask me how we met, I am not always sure how to tell them we met online. I suppose part of me is a traditional romantic, and the idea that I actually met my life partner on an app seems almost unreal.

There are those on apps strictly looking for casual liaisons, and there are those genuinely searching for a romantic connection. How you differentiate between the two, or judge if one is masquerading as a connection seeker, is a million-dollar question.

As disappointing as this may sound, I am sorry to say I don't have a definitive answer to that and can only offer subjective advice on the matter.

Be cautious, but know when to let your guard down. Be honest in what you want and don’t conform or adapt your desires for a possibility of a connection or fling. Lastly, have fun, because dating should not feel like a chore — though at times it does.

If there is anything to be taken away from my experience, I hope that it is this: there is always a chance for what you want if you are up for a bit of an adventure.

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