To contact Portland State Vanguard, email editor@psuvanguard.com
MISSION STATEMENT
Vanguard’s mission is to serve the Portland State community with timely, accurate, comprehensive and critical content while upholding high journalistic standards. In the process, we aim to enrich our staff with quality, hands-on journalism education and a number of skills highly valued in today’s job market.
ABOUT
Vanguard, established in 1946, is published weekly as an independent student newspaper governed by the PSU Student Media Board. Views and editorial content expressed herein are those of the staff, contributors and readers and do not necessarily represent the PSU student body, faculty, staff or administration. Find us online 24/7 at psuvanguard.com.
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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
PSU VANGUARD, THE PAPER THAT WOULD NOT DIE
To the Portland State University Community:
My name is Noah Carandanis, and I have the honor of serving as PSU Vanguard’s Editor in Chief for the remainder of the 2024 to 2025 academic year. To have the opportunity to introduce myself to the community in print is a gift I don’t take for granted as Vanguard perseveres through its print hiatus. Since my first year of university, student-journalism has been my love and passion. Connecting with students, staff and faculty through interviews and writing continually broadens my worldview and instills hope in me. Within the Park Blocks, I have seen tremendous amounts of joy, frustration, grief, love and excitement. To serve the Portland State University community as a journalist has given me the immense privilege of observing all these emotions and moments.
It is no secret that the University is facing its share of obstacles. Faculty cuts, budget crises and a tense national mood affect each and every one of us on and off campus. Since its inception in 1946, PSU Vanguard has weathered every trial and tribulation that has faced this community. I had the chance to visit PSU’s Archives and hold in my hands the first edition of PSU Vanguard—which was at the time called Vet’s Extended A slogan that PSU Students in the early years of this university used to describe PSU was “the college that would not die.” Likewise, Vanguard has proven to be “the paper that would not die.” I recognize that I am joining a storied history of the
Editor in Chiefs who have served this publication. I commit to dutifully carrying out PSU Vanguard’s mission of providing the community with timely, accurate and ethical news. I look forward to working with the dedicated and talented Vanguard staff to deliver a paper that serves the Park Blocks well. I will persist in my determination to connect with you, our Vanguard reader. With this in mind, I hope to invite the community to participate in this opportunity with me. This publication is the lifeblood of PSU and PSU is the lifeblood of this publication. Whether it is through joining our staff as a contributor, reaching out to share your stories with us or simply picking up our weekly issues, every ounce of support helps us serve you better.
As I enter into this new role, I want to ensure that PSU Vanguard remains the premier publication on campus. Though I do have a few requests for you, Vanguard reader. I ask that you question and criticize us when you feel we have strayed from our mission. I ask that you read your fellow community members’ stories with an open mind and curious heart. Finally, I ask that you, above all, engage with us through our print and online formats. This University is singular in its character and composition. Let’s make certain that PSU has an independent, student-run newspaper to match it.
With hope, Noah Carandanis PSU Vanguard Editor in Chief
NOAH CARANDANIS
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
WHAT CAN I DO WITH A BLACK STUDIES MAJOR?
BRIGHT ALOZIE, ASSISTANT PROFESSOR OF BLACK
Step into a hub where the echoes of history meet the urgency of the present and the promise of a brighter future. Picture a classroom buzzing with passionate dialogues about race, identity and the enduring legacies of colonialism. Imagine a program unapologetically centering Blackness: Black voices, Black experiences, Black histories and Black futures, in all their vibrant, complex, and powerful multiplicity.
This is Portland State University’s Black Studies Department, where academic inquiry sparks real social change. Guided by the spirit of ubuntu—“I am because we are”—PSU’s Black Studies is more than a discipline; it’s a transformative journey that empowers you to challenge the status quo and shape a more just world.
STUDIES AT PORTLAND STATE UNIVERSITY
Born from the powerful student movements of the 1960s, the multidisciplinary field of Black Studies emerged as a necessary counterpoint to the historical marginalization of African and African American experiences in education. Established in 1970, PSU’s Black Studies Department, one of the first in the Northwest, continues this rich tradition by offering students a rigorous, multidimensional approach to the study of the African diaspora, African American cultureW and the global impact of African peoples and histories. We carry a legacy of social justice activism and intellectual rigor. We are a phoenix, rising from the ashes of our origins, boldly facing the future we are actively creating.
MORE THAN JUST A MAJOR: A GATEWAY TO DIVERSE CAREERS
Since the founding of the nation’s first Black Studies department at San Francisco State University in 1968, the field has gained widespread academic respect. Yet, students and prospective majors are still asked, “What can I do with a degree in Black Studies?” At PSU, the answer resonates with boundless possibility: Anything!
Our students engage deeply with the social, historical, political and economic forces that shape our world, developing invaluable skills for any professional field. Our curriculum cultivates critical thinking, intersectional analysis, cultural competency, social justice advocacy and effective communication across differences—precisely the skills employers seek in today’s globalized world.
At PSU, our courses don’t just teach you what to think; they empower you to think critically and strategically about complex social problems, providing the tools to address and challenge these issues in your careers and communities. We value community, spirituality, well-being, alignment, peace, sustainability and collaboration as we contribute to Black survival, wellness and social change.
Imagine yourself as an educator, shaping young minds and integrating diverse perspectives into classrooms. Perhaps you envision a career in public health, tackling racial disparities in healthcare and advocating for equitable access. Black Studies graduates are also leading the charge in media and the arts, using their platforms to tell stories that challenge dominant
Darrell Millner, PhD, teaching at Portland State University in the 70s.
PHOTO COURTESY OF PORTLAND STATE UNIVERSITY ARCHIVES DIGITAL GALLERY
narratives and amplify marginalized voices. The legal and criminal justice system benefits from the critical lens Black Studies provides, with alumni working as lawyers, judges and advocates for social justice reform. The list goes on: nonprofit leadership, community development, international advocacy—Black Studies graduates are leaving their mark on a vast array of professions. A Black Studies education at PSU isn’t just a degree; it’s an investment in your potential to become a powerful force for positive change in the world.
FROM CLASSROOM TO COMMUNITY: THE TRANSFORMATIVE JOURNEYS OF PSU BLACK STUDIES ALUMNI
From the classroom to power corridors, from the screen to the boardroom, PSU’s Black Studies alumni are redefining possibilities. This isn’t just about earning a degree; it’s about igniting a passion for change and providing the tools to enact it. Our alumni network is a living testament to this transformative power, a vibrant tapestry of individuals shaping their communities and the world beyond. They’re not just entering diverse fields; they’re leading them, bringing a unique lens informed by a deep understanding of history, culture and social justice.
Consider Senator Avel Gordly, a PSU Black Studies alumna and trailblazer who became the first African American woman in the Oregon State Senate. She fearlessly championed education, healthcare and civil rights, directly applying insights from her studies to advocate for marginalized communities. Her work paved the way for future leaders like Jasmine Robinson, a City Council Member using her Black Studies background to champion equitable urban planning.
In education, Dr. Marcus Bradley is crafting culturally responsive curricula, ensuring that the stories and experiences of the African diaspora are woven into the fabric of K-12 education. Shonda Mitchell, at the Oregon Health Authority, is tackling health disparities headon, developing targeted programs to improve health outcomes for Black communities. In the nonprofit sector, Nicole Stevens empowers underserved youth in Portland, using her Black Studies lens to create culturally relevant and impactful programs. The impact extends beyond public service and community leadership. Kenneth White, a savvy entrepreneur, blends his Black Studies foundation with business acumen to create marketing campaigns that champion diverse representation in media. Award-winning Filmmaker Devin Turner uses his platform to tell powerful stories that explore the intersections of race, identity and social movements, sparking vital conversations about social justice.
These are just a few threads in the rich tapestry of PSU Black Studies alumni achievements. Their diverse paths underscore a powerful truth: the value of a Black Studies degree lies not only in the careers it launches but also in the unique perspectives it cultivates. These graduates bring a critical understanding of race, power and social change to every space they occupy, becoming empathetic leaders and effective agents of change in a world that desperately needs their voices.
BEYOND THE IVORY TOWER: BLACK STUDIES AS A CRUCIBLE FOR CHANGE
PSU’s Black Studies Department is more than just an academic space; it’s a dynamic hub of engaged scholarship, where passionate faculty and students collaborate to unravel the complexities of the Black experience. Forget
dry lectures—here, learning is a vibrant and living process fueled by a deep commitment to social justice and community empowerment. Our dedicated faculty members are not just educators; they are accomplished researchers and activists, each bringing a wealth of expertise that spans a remarkable range of disciplines.
From the nuanced intricacies of African American history to the global reach of African and African diaspora studies, our faculty offers a multidimensional learning experience. This expertise translates into cutting-edge research that delves into critical issues shaping Black experiences worldwide. Through communitybased research, our students actively engage in projects that directly benefit marginalized groups, fostering a deep sense of civic responsibility and empowering them to drive meaningful change in their own communities.
In a world grappling with racial inequality and systemic injustice, Black Studies offers a crucial lens. Our graduates become transformative educators, justice-seeking advocates and inspiring leaders. They are trained to critically analyze the interplay of race, power, identity and social change—invaluable skills in our globalized world. So, whether you pursue the private sector, nonprofits or public institutions, a Black Studies degree will set you apart as a thoughtful, informed and empathetic leader.
UNLEASH YOUR POWER: BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY
Are you ready to embark on a journey of intellectual exploration, personal growth and social impact? PSU’s Black Studies Department warmly welcomes you. With a challenging curriculum, passionate faculty and a vibrant alumni network, we provide the tools, mentorship and community you need to make your mark on the world. The possibilities are as limitless as your potential. What can you do with a Black Studies major from Portland State University? The better question is: What can’t you do?
Find Your Future. Find Your Voice. Find Your Community. Find Your Black Studies. Visit our website at www.pdx.edu/blackstudies or contact our department to learn more. Follow us on: Instagram: @blackstudiespsu Facebook: Black Studies—Portland State University LinkedIn: @blackstudiespsu
Two students work together at a computer.
A student perusing literature at the Millar library.
A woman speaks at an MLK event.
PHOTO COURTESY OF PSU BLACK STUDIES DEPARTMENT
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
RESPONSE TO THE OCT. 29 LETTER FROM PORTLAND STATE FACULTY AND STAFF FOR JUSTICE IN PALESTINE
To the editor:
We write to respond to the letter to the editor submitted by Portland State Faculty and Staff for Justice in Palestine (FSJP) on Oct. 29. This letter contained several inaccuracies that we wish to correct.
Let us state first that we condemn the actions of the individual who posted the flyers, just as we condemn their hurtful, unacceptable content.
The letter from FSJP stated that “there was no response from PSU during the months of July and August concerning the flyers.” This is inaccurate. The administration received several complaints about the flyers in July, prompting an immediate investigation by the Office of Equity and Compliance, with interviews conducted between Aug. 16 and Aug. 27.
The FSJP letter also insinuated that the individual who posted the anti-Palestinian flyers in Cramer Hall over the summer is connected “to a large PSU donor” and goes on to express concern that “PSU donors, Board of Trustee members and others are influencing President Cudd’s inconsistent and opaque response to anti-Palestinian hate on campus.” That response, the letter continues, prioritizes the safety of Jewish students while ignoring anti-Palestinian hate. The responsible individual was a visiting scholar at PSU in the 2023-24 academic year, brought here through a program sponsored by a well-known Jewish donor. The scholar had no contact with that donor during his year at PSU and that donor certainly did not intercede on behalf of the scholar to ensure that the administration did not respond to the flyers that the scholar posted. We know this
because we have spoken with the donor; the donor’s statement is corroborated by multiple sources within the PSU administration. To insinuate this kind of intervention on the basis of zero evidence is drawing on two classic antisemitic accusations: that all Jews watch out for each other and that rich Jews have inordinate influence over society. In this case, the insinuation is that a wealthy Jewish donor has such tremendous influence over the university that the donor is able to determine whether and how the university responds to bias acts on campus. Not only is this absurd, it is downright offensive.
But the authors don’t stop there. They further insinuate that PSU’s response to acts of hate – the claim (which we dispute) that the administration only cares about antisemitism while ignoring anti-Palestinian hate – is being influenced by anonymous “donors” and “others.” Who are these shadowy figures? The reader is left to understand who they must be: Jews who are again exerting their inordinate influence on the administration. This is the kind of conspiracy theory that lies at the very heart of both “fake news” and modern antisemitism. It is vile and deserves to be roundly condemned at PSU rather than given air in our student-run newspaper.
We call on Portland State FSJP to retract their accusations and insinuations unless they have clear evidence to support them. If they do have such evidence, let them publish it on their Instagram page or in another public venue so that it can be judged by the court of public opinion.
Sincerely,
PSU Working Group to Combat Antisemitism
ON VANGUARD SUSPENDING PRINT
DOUG WEISKOPF
Dear editor:
Reading your open letter about discontinuing hard copy publication of the PSU Vanguard reminded me of when I was a student there during spring term 1967, when President Bradford Millar became outraged over a photo of the famous visiting poet Alan Ginsberg’s photograph on The Vanguard’s front page wearing no clothes and covering up his genitals with only his two cupped hands. Millar proceeded to ban The Vanguard from publishing it’s final addition of the school year, whereupon faculty members and students proudly took up a collection to pay the cost of publishing that last issue to support freedom of the press!
The Vanguard has had a proud independent history all through its years, oftentimes coming close to crossing the line and sometimes crossing it entirely. After the bad publicity the administration got in 1967 for suspending the newspaper their reaction afterwards was always to grit their teeth and bear a lot of community criticism flying their way for allowing what was considered by many to be outlandish press freedoms.
So for me hearing that The Vanguard is ceasing publication of its newsprint editions, even temporarily, is especially heartbreaking.
Sincerely,
Doug Weiskopf alum ‘71 Burbank, Ca.
HALEY HSU/PSU VANGUARD
IS PORTLAND READY FOR WINTER?
HAS PORTLAND SUFFICIENTLY IMPROVED ITS WINTERIZATION INFRASTRUCTURE?
J.J. CHRISTENSEN
In January of 2024, much of the West Coast faced an intense winter storm that blanketed the City of Portland in snow and ice. According to an article by Noelle Crombie with OregonLive, the freeze covered the city in around 1-3 inches of snow, plunging temperatures below freezing for about a week and bringing the city to a halt as roads and sidewalks iced over.
I was a naive Californian who had only lived in the city for a few months before the storm. I was almost completely caught off guard by the temperature plunge and near immobility brought to the city. I had never seen snow before in any mass quantity and now the whole city was a winter wonderland. It was aweinspiring and terrifying as the unrelenting temperatures caused me to shiver through a parka and multiple other layers.
And that was for me—someone with the requisite clothing as well as a safe place to go and warm up. The lesser talked about portion of this saga is the multiple deaths that occurred because of the storm. That same OregonLive article notes a woman who died after the intense winds blew down a tree that crashed into her RV. She and four others were attempting to use a camp stove to keep themselves warm.
A second article by Kristi Turnquist with OregonLive breaks down some statistics related to the storm, including a more detailed section on deaths attributed to the weather.
“Multnomah County has reported that since the storm began on Jan. 13, four people have died in cases suspected to be hypothermia. In Washington County, authorities are investigating whether hypothermia was the cause of the death of a woman in Tigard.”
The article also notes deaths caused by power lines downed in the storm, as well as trees that fell onto homes. NPR put the final total of deaths at 11 and noted that at the peak 125,000 people lost power. Bursting water pipes was also a common problem. According to an email sent out by University Housing and Residence Life on Jan. 17, 2024, Residents of Ondine Hall fell victim to water shut-offs after some of the building’s pipes burst during the storm.
The question arises, how did this happen? The Pacific Northwest is not a stranger to intense winter weather or storms, and Portland is no stranger to freezing temperatures. It’s a question that’s been tugging at my mind since last January, so I’d like to find out what specific systems broke down, and whether or not the City has fixed those problems.
The two main problems that the winter storm brought were iced roads and downed power lines. Downed power lines led to power outages which caused people to freeze without a way to power their heaters. A few people were directly harmed by
downed lines. In Northeast Portland, three people were electrocuted to death after a power line fell on their car.
Many of the lines were dragged down by fallen trees or were blown down by the strong winds. Other forces on their own can cause power lines to fall. According to an explanation published by the Electrical Safety Foundation International, snowfall and ice on lines can also bring power lines down.
However, the more obvious problem to the majority of people is the iced roads. The city was brought to a screeching halt by this, as both driving and foot traffic were made practically impossible even in the city center. According to the PSU Alerts system, PSU Campus shut down for numerous days due to “Inclement Weather.”
Most cities use road salt to prevent ice from forming on roads and to keep drivers safe. It’s cheap and widely effective, but also increasingly controversial. Road salt is considered an environmental hazard for its harmful effects on plant life and for the fact that as snow melts, the runoff will carry the salt with it and harm sea life.
The city lays out its reasoning clearly in a page on Portland.gov: “Salts can hurt the health of streams, plants, and natural areas. When ice and snow melt from sidewalks and streets, the salts –as well as everyday dirt, grime, and other pollutants – flow into
RUE CONRAD/PSU VANGUARD
Foggy trees on a cold winter day outside of Portland.
storm drains, green street planters, and eventually local streams and groundwater. As people drive, the spray from vehicles can reach plants and soil.”
It also notes that the chlorides in salt are extra toxic to frogs, insects and fish as well as harmful to soil quality. Salt can also damage and erode structures over time.
As such, the city uses salt on roads “only when needed and only on priority streets.”
It instead uses specialized deicing compounds poured from specialized deicing trucks on most major roads. These are ostensibly more ecofriendly than salt, but also more expensive. While almost any dump truck can be refitted to dump salt on the road, specially built deicing trucks and the compound used are often more expensive. The city of Portland only owns seven of them This is to cover an area of 133 square miles.
The Portland Bureau of Transportation published a map of the routes it deices during winter storms. It’s routinely updated and maintained and will show a live feed of when and where PBOT snowplows, deicing trucks and other equipment are when they are active. It also shows, quite clearly, where the city puts its focus in terms of keeping roads usable. The densest clump of routes is downtown. As you get further out to the suburbs or outskirts, the number of maintained roads is visibly sparser.
On the one hand, this makes sense. They are less dense areas population-wise and hypothetically less economically important. However, the deaths talked about earlier took place mostly in areas farther away from the downtown cluster of maintained roads.
This is the consequence of having this disparity. Areas farther away from the central business district of the city—ones that might vary in poverty level but also contain a large portion of the residentially zoned neighborhoods—get left under the snow.
With so few deicing trucks on the road, the city also might not have been able to make sure those roads stayed clear.
In areas farther away from the heavily urbanized downtown— in areas like suburbs—it’s already more likely that amenities like groceries or even hospitals are farther away than they would be if you lived in the more walkable parts of town. To then let these roads freeze over without the requisite supplies to clear them again just made these parts of the city even more hazardous.
Most of the push for changes in terms of winterization has come in the form of petitions and ballot measures. Measure 26-253, for example, was voted on in the last election and would have allowed the city to mandate weatherization upgrades for buildings built before Sept. 1, 1971, without a vote in the city council.
This bill failed to pass, meaning any attempts to force individual buildings to be upgraded must go through a vote.
According to the Portland Press Herald, city councilors and citizens alike were also petitioning the city government in December to make the case for lowering the threshold to open various warming shelters throughout the city.
This endeavor seeks to make it easier for the city to provide warming shelters to the homeless population. Currently, the threshold mandates the city be facing 10 inches of snow, or 15°F temperatures before the city is allowed to provide those services. These conditions are actually fairly rare. Portland only averages around 3 inches of snow per year.
These citizen initiatives are currently either dead or in limbo as councilors reacted either lukewarm to the petition endeavor or tried to ignore it. No changes to the threshold have been made as of yet.
The city also hasn’t indicated any interest in increasing its fleet of deicing vehicles or securing power lines more safely. The city government seems to have learned absolutely nothing from a storm that killed nearly a dozen people.
You could argue that Portland’s attention is, and should be, focused on other problems. Mayor Keith Wilson currently seems to be more interested in forcing city employees back into the office. An issue that I’m sure someone, somewhere sees as vital, but I see as mostly petty at best and harmful at worst.
I feel the need to reiterate that around 11 people died in last year’s storm and that going into this winter, we are facing La Niña conditions that will cool the Northwest once more. This might not be as intense as the winter storm of 2024, but certainly still a colder winter than is normal.
Instead of taking the clear steps it can to prepare for these conditions and prevent deaths, the city seems quite happy to ignore the problem as city governments often do. Instead of actually expanding the fleet of deicing trucks, or even just lowering the bar and allowing more warming shelters to operate, the city of Portland seems happy to let the problems that led to such a catastrophic shutdown last year continue into this year.
We can only hope that the results will be much less devastating.
Portlanders bundled up on a winters day.
RUE CONRAD/PSU VANGUARD
I be imagining our entire future together
How do you react to a crush?
I just ignore it so I don’t have to think about it
What is your idea of a perfect romantic moment?
Dancing in the rain A spontaneous roadtrip
What is your biggest fear in love?
What’s your stance on love at first sight?
How do you irt?
Never finding “the one”
I go all in and send that risky text
Love becoming boring
Hopeless
Romantic
You deeply believe in love and search for soulmates and fairy-tale endings. You adore grand gestures and destined connections.
Cynical Romantic
You pretend you don’t believe in love and make sarcastic remarks about it. But we all know you still get butter ies.
Whimsical Romantic
You’re a dreamer whose in love with the idea of love. You adore big gestures and romanticize every moment.
Chaotic
Romantic
You fall fast and hard, sometimes for the wrong people. You crave dramatic love stories and passionate relationships.
The intensity and isolation of queer romance
“You’re the cigarette in my fist, you’re so hard to resist,” Adrianne Lenker sings on Big Thief’s 2022 song ‘Love Love Love.’ For fans of Lenker’s writing for both Big Thief and her solo material, this type of lyricism will likely come as no surprise. Despite Lenker’s deep level of romanticism in her lyrics, she also often sings of love’s destructive nature, painting it more as a force of nature than a purely positive feeling. For Lenker, any emotion that is strong and blind can cause profound pain. In the song “Love Love Love,” Lenker specifically draws parallels between this dynamic of love and pain to chemical addiction. She knows her love is bad for her, but despite this, the intoxicating nature of it can cling like any type of severe chemical addiction. Even when self aware of how the love is affecting her it is impossible to be released from her love as she bellows “Release my love, my love. Release my love, my love.”
When talking about how Lenker writes with love and romance, it’s impossible to separate this from her queer identity. The level of romantic connection formed with another queer person can be greater due to the inherent isolation many queer people face in their romantic and personal lives.
This metaphor of queer love and addiction that Lenker sings about in “Love Love Love” is also at the core of Film Director Luca Guadagnino’s 2024 film “Queer.” William Lee, the lead of the movie—played by Actor Daniel Craig—is a remarkably lonely man who struggles with connection and uses heroin to cope. He then meets another queer man, Eugene—played by Actor Drew Starkey—who Lee quickly becomes hooked on. When facing loneliness, especially as a queer person who has become isolated by society at large, you will take any connection you can get, regardless of how it affects you. It can feel impossible to let go. Lee and Eugene clearly aren’t good for each other, but
when the only other option seems to be isolation, it can feel impossible to quit.
Even if you can reach sobriety, love can still haunt you like any chemical addiction. Despite eventually losing Eugene for good, Lee can never fully let go of him. We see Lee at the end of the movie as an old man lying with Eugene, the same age he was when they first met. Despite their unhealthy dynamic, Lee has nothing else to cling to—even after decades.
“When I’m scared to die alone, that’s when I call you on the phone,” is another line Lenker sings in ‘Love Love Love,’ echoing this very moment we see at the end of the film.
While the final scene can be seen as a symbolic way to show how any sort of love can cling to someone, the level of isolation that comes with queerness cannot be stripped from the film’s clear thematic proclamation. Much of how Lenker’s metaphor gains emotional depth with the knowledge of her queer experi ence.
BENJAMIN WENCK
ABBY RAYMUNDO/PSU VANGUARD
PSU Vanguard presents your stories of romance in this year's Love & Sex Guide
AMELIA & CADEN
When I was 16 I had a tumultuous relationship with another boy to the point where I swore off dating entirely! I was so sick of it and kept that sentiment for a while. On my family camping trip, I had a very wild and vivid dream about this boy I had never met before. He had the most beautiful smile and we sat in a really nice car eating Taco Bell. Funny enough, I never really ate Taco Bell before so it was strange. In the dream, he told me, ‘I love you, see you soon.’ I had texted my best friend what had happened and she thought it was also weird. Fast forward to the first week of my junior year. After a bunch of scheduling issues, I got placed in a random economics class on a Friday… where there was already a test. I sat in the only empty seat in the middle of the class room and I was obviously panicking because the teacher said we all had to do it. But, he made it fair and made us partner up. I instinctively looked to the left and there was this boy. I didn’t remember my dream at that time until he flashed me his beautiful smile and I knew I was done for. Over the course of the term, we did projects and played games together, slowly falling in love until it culminated with me confessing my love to him while he was sleeping! I didn’t know, so I worried myself sick for almost twelve hours! When I got my text back I was just about to hop in the shower and he asked ‘Does this mean we’re dating?’ I replied ‘Sure’ and it’s been over 5 years since then. We are still together and now have a cat named Stan.
PSU COMMUNITY MEMBERS
ARIANNA THOMAS/ PSU VANGUARD
LILY & RHI
I spent a portion of this last summer nannying in a small coastal village in Ireland – An Spidéal. I brought a carry-on full of souvenirs and a long distance lesbian relationship home with me. Yawn! What a cliché! We met on my second day in the country and on my first day in Galway. I had landed in Dublin the day before and I was lonelier than I can remember being in recent memory. I had just spent an embarrassing amount of money on a Guinness from a pub that was definitely a tourist trap, and all of my friends were thousands of miles away and 8 hours behind me. I was walking alongside a big impressive bridge, taking blurry washed out photos and sighing loudly and generally feeling very sorry for myself. In a desperate attempt to curb my loneliness, and going against my better judgement, I redownloaded Hinge and spent the remainder of my first night swiping through the entirety of Ireland’s lesbian population.
The next day, as I was bussing into this absolutely picturesque village and taking more ugly pictures of the overcast coastline, I matched with, from my assessment, the only butch on the entire island. I don’t think they liked me much at first (they disagree with me on this) and would take forever to respond to my texts but we eventually set a date: 5 days before my flight out of the country. Our first date lasted 16 hours and our second lasted until my bus ride back to the airport. We haven’t gone a day without talking to each other since. I flew back to kiss them on New Year’s and they are coming here in May. I ask them to marry me every day but they think I’m joking.
GABBY & SHELBY
The nerves struck when I heard a knock on the door. My friend paused our Mario Kart match and I turned the doorknob to reveal her. She looked very different from her Tinder photos. Not catfish-different. Shelby was just as beautiful in person as she was online, only more goth than I expected. Her lips were stained violet and her eyelids were shaded with a blend of volcanic shades. She wore a leather jacket and ripped jeans that would offend any grandparent. I would later learn this was an experimental day for her and not her usual look. Despite her edgy aesthetic, her smile was softening and disarming. I felt my smile reflect hers, almost involuntarily. I welcomed her in and she greeted my living room of six strangers with coolness and ease. I offered to hang her purse, to which she accepted, and I
grasped its leathery handle. In an impulsive attempt to break the ice, I joked, “What if I just threw this against the wall?” Then proceeded to do exactly that. Her purse flung against the wall, as anticipated, and emptied all of its contents onto the carpet surrounding us. Her birth control, tampons and other personal items formed the centerpiece of this newly formed mess. My friends watched in complete paralysis from second-hand embarrassment as I sank to all fours and gathered her items into her purse, profusely apologizing. The room’s palpable silence was ruptured by Shelby’s laugh, thick and warm enough to shed my shame. We moved to the couch and resumed the Mario Kart match, this time with Shelby’s participation. She was immediately competitive, throwing turtle shells at me and
performing evil cackles as she passed each of us on the course. I remember my cheeks burning after she left. I realized it was my first, first-date where I didn’t need to feign laughter. The next few dates confirmed what I already knew: something felt different with Shelby. She showed me her favorite movie, “Labyrinth”, and said David Bowie was her gay awakening as a kid because, “he looked like a girl.” Before she moved across town, we ate sushi together in her empty apartment and swapped kisses between bites. Months later, I told her that I loved her in a motel room by the airport. Almost three years later, we live together with our two perfect cats, Duchess and Mochi. She still makes me laugh more than anyone on this earth. My love for her grows every time she walks through our door.
ARIANNA THOMAS/ PSU VANGUARD
PARKER PATNODE/PSU VANGUARD
Ah, Valentine’s Day: a beautiful, wholesome holiday where we all get together to celebrate love in all of its forms. Pink hearts, lovebirds, cheesy cards, overly expensive dates, the whole nine yards. Originally a Christian Feast Day, celebrating one of three Saint Valentines which nobody can seemingly agree on, it has grown to be a worldwide holiday to purchase lots and lots of pink stuff. I struggle with Valentine’s Day, personally. I am in a relationship with somebody who I love more than life itself, and that might be precisely why I find it so tricky. There is insurmountable societal pressure to find the “right” gift. That perfect object that, in one fairytale-esque gesture, sums up five years of emotional connection to another human being. It’s terrifying, both to feel the need to find something that can show that amount of vulnerability.
I struggle with it, and something tells me that many of you out there do too. That’s why, instead of cataloging the best gifts you could buy (and as such potentially dooming you to buying the same gift that tens of other people have gotten), I’m giving you the absolute worst gifts. I’ve consulted with my friends, the elders in my life and God himself to bring you everything you should avoid.
ANOTHER CHEAP ASS DRUGSTORE TEDDY BEAR
For many a partner, who’s completely forgotten what time of year it is and is desperately running through a CVS trying to find gifts to stuff in a bag, this is the ol’reliable. It will take up even more space in your house, as it is not a consumable good. It will be cherished for exactly one hour. It is, in fact, made up of the cheapest fabric, with stitching that is holding on for dear life and lifeless black eyes that have beheld the deepest horrors of a sweatshop somewhere in Southern Laos. However, if you play your cards right, you might be able to sell it. If it’s especially cute, or perhaps one of their favorite colors, it might just work. It’s for this reason that I can’t put it any lower on this list. It might not end your relationship, and as such it gets relegated to number 6.
Buy this gift if you: are incredibly cheap, have a horrible sense of time or are lazy.
A FRUIT BASKET (OF THINGS THEY ARE ALLERGIC TO)
In a lot of countries like India or Japan, fruits are a common gift to give as a sign of appreciation. A basket of fruit is often something that can be enjoyed by anyone, regardless of attachment level. However, if you are especially forgetful (or uninterested) and did not remember that your wonderful partner has a citrus allergy or some such while shopping at Target, you might just so happen to throw together a fruit basket made up entirely of fruits that your partner is deathly allergic to.
The best thing about this gift is the deep wound that is repeatedly forgetting your partner’s allergies. Not only did you buy them something they can’t eat, you bought several. A whole, ornately arranged basket that shows you did care enough to get something but did not care enough to remember crucial information about the person you are supposed to love.
Furthermore, you must either resign yourself to letting the fruits rot on your kitchen counter or eat them in front of your partner. Either way, nice job idiot.
Buy this gift if you are: ungodly forgetful.
A CURSED AMULET
Now this is a classic. Let’s say, you’ve hit the point where you are scavenging through the attic of your childhood home for some sort of gift. You know your mom put your grandmother’s old jewelry up there, and maybe if you find a cute pair of earrings or a pretty bracelet, it might save your skin. It’s dark up there, the light blew out years ago and nobody bothered to replace it. It’s also incredibly tight, feeling more like a crawl space than a proper attic. Still, lighting your way with a small BIC lighter, you’re able to have enough light to investigate.
That’s when you see it, the faint hint of a green glow in the distance. It’s coming out of the cracks of a jewelry box you swear you’ve never seen before. You open it up, and you find a beautiful gold necklace with a stunning, green gem pendant. You hold it up to the flame to get a better look, it’s perfect.
See, cursed amulets are often free and can be found in old storage spaces you haven’t looked inside of since a relative died. This makes them a great gift for those on a budget, but the downside is once your partner puts it on they will never be able to take it off. In fact, it will fuse to their skin and burn anything that touches it with the intent to remove it. It will also constantly whisper evil thoughts to your partner,
making sleeping in the same bed at night awkward. For those reasons, it might be best to avoid it.
On the bright side, it is genuinely quite beautiful. Acquire this gift as a quest reward if: you hear the spirits whispering, beckoning you back up into the attic.
THIS INCREDIBLY DETAILED ANIME FIGURINE OF A CHARACTER YOU PROMISE YOU DON’T HAVE A CRUSH ON
Look, it can sometimes take a lot of effort to find shows that you and your partner can enjoy together. Sometimes it borders on maddening. This is why anime is often the best course of action when it comes to looking for a show. They often have interesting and engaging plots and premises with character designs that sometimes border on pornographic. That in and of itself might not be a problem unless you ogle one of those characters too long or talk about them too much… or leave your browser history open one too many times.
For this reason, buying an anime figurine (of which many cost upwards of $300), of the character you keep making goo-goo eyes at as a gift for your partner on Valentine’s Day might not be the best play. Neither is trying to cover with the excuse “We watched that show together, babe! You said you liked it! Why are you getting mad?”
Buy this gift if you are: a weeb.
SEX COUPONS (FOR ACTS TO WHICH YOU WILL BE THE RECIPIENT)
Around this time of year, you will often find gift ideas that amount to coupons that you print out and can be turned in to a partner for sex acts. It’s this incredibly transactional attitude about sex that confounds me when it comes to straight culture, but alas my Pinterest feed is chock full of them.
Still, the normal idea is that you only print out the ones that confer a duty upon you to perform a sex act upon your partner. This is nice, it’s in the spirit of giving that the holiday is all about, and might even be considered playful.
It is now that I tell you, if your intention truly is to prove you are the most self-centered person in the northern hemisphere, you can instead only print out the coupons that confer duties onto your partner. By taking the transactional nature of this gift one step further, and imaginarily indebting your partner into sex unwittingly via laser printer, you will just ruin any good-will you might have been able to build up since the Amulet fused into their sternum.
Craft this gift if you are: a self-centered creep.
THE VALENTINE’S DAY BRICK
You did it. The year is 2026, and you finally survived both the intense Pacific Northwest winter and climate change induced scorching hot summer on the street after your partner kicked you to the curb. It’s another winter, another February and another Valentine’s Day. You’ve come crawling back, with an apology and a special gift that came to you in a dream recreation of a half-remembered YouTube skit from 2012.
Here’s the play. You find a brick, any brick. It doesn’t have to be fancy and bricks are fairly common in a city with as much construction as Portland. You take it and you find a sharp scrap of metal. Using that piece of metal, you carve in the gift recipient’s name, as well as a heart. Then, you find a bow. It doesn’t matter how you find the bow, just as long as you can tie it around the brick to really affect that cutesy, Valentine’s Day aesthetic. If you’re really feeling fancy, you can wrap it in old newspapers (perhaps even copies of the Portland State Vanguard). You leave it on the front porch of your former partner’s house like a cat dropping a dead bird into a living room. You ring the doorbell and hear scuffling around inside. You wait, anxiously.
You think back on all of the horrible gifts, the lost moments, how you might not have been there for your partner as much as you perhaps should have been. All the times you could have been a shoulder to cry on and weren’t. All the times you could have supported them but didn’t. You want forgiveness, but do you deserve it? Does a brick cut it?
Make this gift if you are: trying.
No matter what the case, I hope this short list of gifts to avoid this Valentine’s Day helps you in your endeavor to pick out a gift for your lover, or even for a friend.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
PET SNAKE
A pet snake is a 20-30 year commitment. Good luck figuring that out in the breakup.
THE ENTIRE 9 DISK BOX SET COLLECTION OF THE HIT TEXAN ANIME RWBY
RWBY is a 3D animated anime made in Texas. It’s my favorite show, and I will defend it to the ends of the earth. The only problem is that it’s niche as hell and odds are your partner doesn’t know about it. The box sets are also out of production and really expensive ever since the company that made it went out of business.
CONFEDERATE FLAG
Now, listen. Somebody out there might appreciate receiving a Confederate Flag for Valentine’s Day. Those people are out there, posting on 4chan and probably living in Lake County. However, you live in Portland, Oregon. You go to Portland State University. This is the school where we manufacture new types of gay people, and that’s a wonderful thing. Your partner most likely will not enjoy receiving a Confederate Flag. Still, if you feel it might work, I can’t like physically stop you for I am just letters on a page.
The Truth They Don' t Want You to Know
If you are reading this, it is because you are either curious about a phenomenon that you have been lucky enough to experience or you’re a student at PSU—either way, you’re in the right place.
For decades, society has conditioned us to believe that squirting is an experience exclusive to females. Around 40%—or less— of women are anointed with the title of “squirter.” Obviously, this division of women is separated and glorified to divide the community and further the patriarchal agenda. But what the patriarchy doesn’t want you to know is that men can squirt too. That’s right. The same institutions that have attempted to gaslight you into believing in male superiority are back at it again. You may remember them from their argument that every fetus starts as female in the womb, but males are “promoted.” These are the same people who claim superiority because it’s harder to make them cry (can’t relate). They also convinced you that an Adam Driver can pull a Scarlett Johansson. But I’m here to intervene. Now, I know you’re wondering what I mean when I say men can squirt. Moreover, I know your top concern is why this has been hidden from you for so long. I—along with the single study on male squirting (mSQ), based on one man—have answers for you. Researchers have thrown millions of dollars into the study of female squirting, but men have been left in the dark with exactly one official case study. A single, courageous participant.
A lone hero, brave enough to squirt in the name of science and society. A modern Prometheus of post-ejaculatory fluid release. This news has not been publicized or widely researched because male chauvinism is afraid that it will divide men and weaken the carefully curated illusion of masculine simplicity. They’re afraid of being split into two competitive divisions. But enough is enough.
For far too long, Big Science has let us believe that male pleasure is a single event. That once we finish, we’re left with nothing but existential dread and dirty socks—but we now have proof that there’s a realm beyond our current knowledge.
We’re all familiar with the soggy ejaculation that results when you need to pee—a watered-down, less viscous substance—but this is a separate event entirely. Male squirting is a post-ejaculatory release of fluid, distinct from semen. It’s clearer and thinner, containing a small amount of urine, and it often happens involuntarily after prolonged stimulation or pelvic contractions. The fluid is secreted from the prostate and urethral glands—a biological process that is incredibly similar to the mechanics of female squirting.
No sperm. No standard ejaculatory properties. Just a hidden and suppressed bodily function that the society refuses to acknowledge. The most shocking part? According to the one and only recorded scientific study: it’s not just a fluid, it’s a mist. The subject of the
study—let’s call him Patient Zero—demonstrated this post-orgasmic experience by spraying this translucent mist for 60 seconds. This was measured and scientifically documented using Color Doppler Ultrasonography, a medical imaging technique. A probe was inserted into Patient Zero’s rectum to capture real-time imaging of his prostate while he squirted, allowing researchers to directly observe the fluid expulsion from deep within.
Now imagine what would happen if men knew that their pleasure was multi-tiered, that their bodies were capable of acting as a spray bottle and that squirting was not a privilege exclusively granted to the female species. If we knew sooner, we might have established a civilization on Uranus by now, or we might have a 13th Greek god. Either way, the patriarchy is finally crumbling and we’re on a path toward equality and growth.
For centuries, we’ve known women’s pleasure to be enigmatic and complex like a 7x7 rubik’s cube. Meanwhile, male sexuality has been reduced to a predictable, linear release—maybe a 2x2 rubik’s cube, or 1x1—but now we know the truth: we’re not so different.
The evidence is there, yet the world remains silent. We know you’re out there—hiding in the shadows, eating pineapple. It’s time to claim your birthright with pride.
The first step is acknowledging the truth. The second is stepping into the light. The third? Well, that’s up to you.
MILO LOZA
JENELLE DE LEON/PSU VANGUARD
DEVIN SINGH/PSU VANGUARD
GILBERTO Z.O./PSU VANGUARD
ABIGAIL GREEN/PSU VANGUARD
ACROSS:
Across
5. Lead singer ofW Big Thief.
5. Lead singer of Big Thief.
Love & Sex
Answers in stories
6. A curated feed that pushes trending content to users.
6. A curated feed that pushes trending content to users.
7. The system that promotes engagement.
7. The system that promotes engagement but fuels toxicity.
9. Climate pattern expected to bring colder Northwest winters.
9. Climate pattern expected to bring colder Northwest winters.
11. A phenomenon documented in exactly one case study (acronym).
12. The process of treating roads for safer winter travel.
1. A phenomenon documented in exactly one case study.
12. The process of treating roads for safer winter travel.
DOWN:
1. A cursed piece of jewelry that ruins Valentine's Day.
2. Agency responsible for Portland’s road maintenance in winter (acronym).
3. Director of the 2024 film Queer.
Down
4. Meta’s attempt at a Twitter replacement.
1. A cursed piece of jewelry that ruins Valentine's Day.
8. The surprising form of post-ejaculatory fluid.
2. Agency responsible for Portland’s road maintenance in winter.
10. Someone who might gift an anime figurine.
3. Director of the 2024 film Queer
4. Meta’s attempt at a Twitter replacement with engagement bait issues.
8. The surprising form of post-ejaculatory fluid.
10. Someone who might gift an anime figurine.
MILO LOZA
Community & Wellness Resources UPDATED WEEKLY
By Milo Loza
Happening Soon
Live at Lunch
SMSU Parkway North
Feb. 13, 12 p.m.
Free for Students
Live music performances at lunchtime on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
SLMA – Sweet Supply Sips
SMSU 327/328
Feb. 13, 4 p.m.
Free for Students
Celebrate Valentine’s Day with hot chocolate, sweet treats, fun games, trivia and prizes.
Board Game Night
SMSU Cafeteria
Feb. 14, 3 p.m.
Free for Students
Play board games with fellow students.
Let’s Flamingle Splash Mob
Campus Rec Pool
Feb. 14, 5 p.m.
Free for Students
A special Valentine’s Day swim featuring water basketball and innertubes.
Love & Basketball
5th Avenue Cinema
Feb. 14, 6 p.m.
Free for Students
A romantic sports drama exploring love, competition and gender roles in basketball.
VSA Annual 24th Culture Show
SMSU Ballroom
Feb. 15, 6 p.m.
Free for Students
Experience Vietnamese culture with student performances, music, food and raffles.
Resources
PSU Basic Needs Hub
SMSU Suite 435
Mon–Fri, 9 a.m.–5 p.m.
Free for students
Helps students access resources such as funds, food, housing, employment, childcare and health support.
PSU Food Pantry
SMSU Basement
Tues 10:30–4:30 p.m., Wed 9–1:30 p.m., Thur 12–5:30 p.m. and Fri 10:30–5:30 p.m. Free for students
Access to free groceries in a welcoming, equitable, trauma-informed way. Must be enrolled in at least one credit for summer or fall.
SMART Recovery Meetings
University Center Building 340 E Times vary Free
In peer recovery, students with shared experiences connect to reduce stigma and build a campus recovery community.
SHAC Weekly Online Parent Support Group
Online
Thursdays 11 a.m. Free
Come together as parents in a relaxed setting to support each other, share ideas, collaborate and commiserate.
Women’s Resource Center
Online
Mon–Fri, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Free
Confidential advocacy services to students who have experienced sexual harassment, assault, violence and stalking.
Oregon Energy Fund
Varying Locations
Mon–Fri, hours vary Free
Provides energy bill assistance to low-income Oregonians to support household stability.
Wellness
SHAC Mind Spa
UCB Suite 310
Mon–Fri (by appointment)
Free for students
Solo space to experience biofeedback, light therapy, meditation, massages, relaxation and more. Must be enrolled in at least five credits for summer or fall.
Opioid Overdose Reversal Training
SHAC, Suite 340E
Mon 10–12 p.m. & Fri 2–3 p.m.
Free for students
Pick up free opioid overdose reversal medication and get a 10-minute training on how to use it.
Mindful Meanderings
Listen on Spotify
Available 24/7
Free
PSU-produced podcast about being mindful while outside, practicing gratitude, finding joy and being in the moment.
Wellness & Health Action Team
Follow on Instagram
Available 24/7
Free
WHAT is a group of peers who educate on health topics specific to PSU students.
Outdoor Workshop Wednesdays
Watch on YouTube
Available 24/7
Free
PSU Campus Recreation Center staff videos about topics ranging from Leave No Trace and plant identification to hiking spots and land acknowledgments.
BORP Online Fitness Studio
Watch on Zoom
Mon–Sat, hours vary
Free
Bay Area Outreach and Recreation Program’s (BORP) virtual exercise classes for people with physical disabilities.
