Inspired Parenting 2015 #1 by Damian Keenan

INSPIRED V O L . 1 . I S S U E 1 Fa l l 2 0 1 5 PRICE $8.95

Meditation and the Spiritual Life of Children by Deepak Chopra 9 Strategies for Discipline that Build Healthy Self-Esteem The Gift of Creativity: Reframing Symptoms — Exercising Ingenuity Children & Stress – Why What We Don’t Know Can Hurt the Whole Family Do You Know Your Child’s Personal Learning Style? How Animation is Helping Children in the Classroom

Mikki Willis— A Father’s Message that Crossed the Globe

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Editor’s Letter

hen INSPIRED PARENTING magazine made its first appearance in 2008, we were inundated with praise for having the courage to produce a different kind of parenting publication. Sadly, just as the magazine was beginning to make an impact, the financial recession hit and many of our advertisers were forced to tighten their belts. We were all so sad when the magazine had to go on hiatus. At the same time, we knew that IP was too good (and far too important) to stay out of circulation. And so it seems did the legions of parents who never forgot it, and who continued vigorously to plead for its return. Now at last, we are back… Because we recognize that, regardless of their age, raising happy children is more than a full time job; it’s a way of life, our vision for INSPIRED PARENTING MAGAZINE has expanded to meet your needs on a daily basis. INSPIRED PARENTING is now more than simply a quarterly magazine; it’s a powerful and comprehensive Online Resource with monthly digital magazines, webinars, online Q & A sessions with experts, telesummits, podcasts, videos, audios (and a wealth of FREE STUFF too!) to keep you inspired, entertained, and educated every day of the year. And that’s not all, for INSPIRED PARENTING isn’t simply the name of our magazine and website; it’s the name of a rapidly growing global movement, driven by people with the same philosophies and goals as you: to raise conscious, caring, resourceful and emotionally intelligent children. We are thrilled to be back. And we are confident that by the time you have finished reading this issue, you will be too. Our mission is to support you in every way we can, which is why we have also re-launched the Inspired Parenting Radio Show, which now broadcasts live over the Internet on OMTimes Radio. For details of how to find us, see our ad on page 14. I hope you will join me on air,

Cover Image of Mikki Willis and Family By Jerad Hobaugh

Sandie Sedgbeer Editor-in-Chief

Contents V O L . 1 . I S S U E 1 . Fa l l 2 0 1 5

CONSCIOUS PARENTING 7

Building Inner Resilience: Cultivating Emotional Intelligence in Your Children BY LINDA LANTIERI, M.A. – A growing body of research suggests that helping children develop good social and emotional skills early in life makes a big difference in their long-term health and well-being. Parents can play a key role in supporting their children’s emotional intelligence by encouraging them to be in touch with their emotional selves.

Meditation and the Spiritual Life of Children BY DEEPAK CHOPRA – Meditation can add to a child’s sense of self-worth and even power, because it’s an activity that belongs just to them. The childhood brain is a factor here. It has been shown that introducing meditation in the schools leads to behavioral improvements in older ages (middle school and later). It benefits younger ages, I feel, when meditation fulfills the following criteria: It feels like fun; the child expresses enjoyment; nothing is forced or turned into a chore; the whole family participates.

9 Strategies for Discipline That Builds Healthy Self-Esteem BY CHICK MOORMAN AND THOMAS HALLER – Television sitcoms and reality shows on parenting are showing parents how to handle their children’s behavior with strategies that are primarily about fixing blame and using power to correct behavior. These strategies, although effective, produce feelings of worthlessness, shame, and guilt. They leave children feeling they are bad, naughty, no-good people. Their self-esteem and self-confidence are compromised.

How to Be a More Present Parent: 5 Activities to Practice Mindfulness with Your Child BY JEANNINE PROULX – Mindfulness helps us become more aware of the world around us and ourselves in it. Here are five mindful activities you can do with your child to become a more conscious, present, and inspired parent!

THE IP INTERVIEW 2 0 Mikki Willis — A Father’s Message that Crossed the Globe

BY JUDY JULIN – When award-winning filmmaker/cinematographer, Mikki Willis, posted a video of himself and his sons on Facebook, he had no idea that he was about to become a global sensation. Mikki’s video, with the message “How would you feel if your son chose this?” went viral. IP Publisher, Judy Julin, spoke to Mikki about his free-style parenting philosophies and the impact of his message.

NATURE’S MEDICINE 2 5 Aromatherapy: Nature’s Fragrant Pharmacy

BY STEFFANY KAMINSKI – The unique aroma of each essential oil uncovers a facet of its character and healing potential. A small amount goes a long way and when using essential oils with sensitive people, children, or the elderly, you can dilute until barely noticeable and still have an effect. Even if you have lost your sense of smell the essential oil will do its job.

Fall 2015 · Volume 1, Issue 1

Contents

TENDER HEARTS 2 8 Children & Stress –

Why What we Don’t Know Can Hurt the Whole Family BY ALLAN G. HUNTER – One of the things that we perhaps don’t see, as adults, is that our children are frequently placed under stress. We tend to think that our own stresses are so much more important and so much more varied, and we forget that many children suffer from stresses that, in their world, are quite as serious as ours.

COURAGEOUS SOULS 3 2 Teen Friendships — Why They’re So Important

and What To Do When Things Go Wrong BY MAGGIE DENT – One of the main biological drivers of adolescence is the urge to belong with one’s peers or to create friendship circles outside of the family. But the social dynamics of the adolescent world are fraught with challenges and delight. Friendships help develop social skills, modify the dark moods of adolescence, and enhance moral development. But teen friendships are not all plain sailing.

SPIRITED BEHAVIOR 3 7 The Gift of Creativity: Reframing Symptoms—

Exercising Ingenuity BY DR. LARA HONOS-WEBB – Children with ADHD are excellent at getting “the big picture” in and out of the classroom. Students with ADHD may miss the little details, but they can be masters at understanding the importance and meaning of material. To think daringly original thoughts and to create new ideas or perspectives requires impulsiveness. Impulsiveness is the urge to do or to think things that are new and daring that fall outside the boring grind of the everyday humdrum.

SENSITIVE BODIES 4 0 Raising Healthy Kids with a Plantpowered Lifestyle Approach

BY RICH ROLL AND JULIE PIATT – As parents, we all want what’s best for our kids, including healthy eating habits. This is a daunting prospect for many. But with patience and the right approach, it’s not only possible; it’s actually not that hard. Here are some tips to help you create a positive change in your children’s default habits around food—a priceless step in the direction of greater long-term family health.

4 2 Yummy Foods for Healthy Kids: Untuna Wraps and Deep

Blue Sea Blend from The Plantpower Way BY RICH ROLL AND JULIE PIATT – My little girls asked me recently, “Mom, what is a tuna sandwich?” Although they have been enjoying this walnut and olive based recipe for years, it wasn’t until that moment that I realized they had nothing to compare it to, as they have never actually eaten a real tuna sandwich!

4 3 A Safe Shot Strategy, for Parents Who Choose to Vaccinate

BY LAUREN FEDER, M.D. – As the vaccination debate rages on, Dr. Feder offers some sensible advice and safe shot strategies for parents who want their children to enjoy all the benefits of vaccinations without any of the worries.

www.inspiredparenting.com

Contents V O L . 1 . I S S U E 1 . Fa l l 2 0 1 5

SUPER LEARNERS 4 5 Blueprints for Success—Your Child’s Personal Learning Styles

BY LEARNINGSUCCESS ™ COACH MARIAEMMA WILLIS, M.S. – For more than twenty years I have been coaching parents and teachers in how to customize their children’s programs. It is hard to imagine teaching students of any age without first finding out about their learning styles. Think of it as the foundation for learning, the blueprint for providing successful learning experiences, or a map to each child’s successful future. With the information you get from your child’s learning style profile you can reinforce your child’s strengths as well as celebrate and encourage his/her own way of learning.

SPECIAL REPORT 4 8 Animating All Students—

How Cartoon Characters are Helping Children in the Classroom Animation can have a magical effect on young children and can help eliminate anxiety. Terry Thoren, former CEO of Klasky Csupo, Inc., the animation studio behind Nickelodeon’s world-famous Rugrats and The Wild Thornberrys, and famed software producer,Rudy Verbeeck, are using this magic to improve classroom behavior, language acquisition, and keep children motivated to learn new ways to communicate.

PARENTS ARE PEOPLE TOO 5 2 Dipping into the Real Fountain of Youth

BY DIANE NICHOLS, M.A. – The secret to retaining aspects of eternal youth is not found in a bottle of imported water or in a fancy jar of expensive face cream. You will not find it in a gym or health spa. In fact, it costs nothing and is located right under your nose. Pssst, come closer. Closer. I’m going to whisper the secret into your ear. The secret of eternal youth is… spending time with children.

5 7 Parenting Commitment Quiz: How Committed are You

to Raising Caring, Confident, Responsible Children? BY CHICK MOORMAN & THOMAS HALLER – Are you a committed parent? Do you place family first? Is your success at home as important as the success you achieve in other areas of your life? Most parents would answer yes to these questions. Probably you would, too. But are you really committed? Do your actions match your beliefs about your level of commitment? Take our quiz and find out...

Fall 2015 · Volume 1, Issue 1

CONSCIOUS PARENTING

Building Inner Resilience Cultivating Emotional Intelligence in Children By LINDA LANTIERI, M.A. In recent years, the theme of resilience has been frequently brought up to describe the response of many New Yorkers on September 11, 2001.

n the midst of profound uncertainty and danger, the adults in schools in lower Manhattan had to make the ultimate decision of their careers as educators—saving the children, some as young as 4 years old, meant evacuating the schools and running to safety. Within hours of the terrorist attack, more than 5,000 schoolchildren and 200 teachers ran for their lives.1 Miraculously, though debris fell around them and confusion reigned, not a single student’s or teacher’s life was lost. While certainly it could be argued that the teachers and children that day exhibited the inner resources they needed to survive, some wondered: What would it take to refill the emotional and spiritual reserve from which they had drawn so deeply? As the modern stresses of today’s childhood accumulate in children, how can we help them develop a reservoir of inner strength to draw from in every aspect of their daily 21st-century lives?

development and future life success. He wrote: One of psychology’s open secrets is the relative inability of grades, IQ, or SAT scores, despite their popular mystiques, to predict unerringly who will succeed in life… There are widespread exceptions to the rule that IQ predicts success—many (or more) exceptions than cases that fit the rule. At best, IQ contributes about 20 percent to the factors that determine life success, which leaves 80 percent to other forces.2

Goleman’s work helped us understand the importance of emotional intelligence as a basic requirement for the effective use of one’s IQ—that is, one’s cognitive skills and knowledge. He made the connection between our feelings and our thinking more explicit by pointing out how the brain’s emotional and executive areas are interconnected. We are learning from recent brain science that children’s brains go through major growth up until their mid-20s, and their neural circuits are shaped by the day-to-day experiences they have. Children who are well-nurtured and whose parents and teachers help them learn how to calm down when they are upset, for instance, seem to develop greater strength in the brain’s circuitry for managing distress and will be less likely to act on aggressive impulses.

Development of social and emotional skills A growing body of research suggests that helping children develop good social and emotional skills early in life makes a big difference in their long-term health and well-being. In his groundbreaking book Emotional Intelligence (published in 1995), Daniel Goleman summarized the research from the fields of neuroscience and cognitive psychology that identified EQ—emotional intelligence—as being as important as IQ in terms of children’s healthy www.inspiredparenting.com

Building Inner Resilience

Parents can play a key role in supporting their children’s emotional intelligence by encouraging them to be in touch with their emotional selves. The challenge, however, is that most often the way we were raised determines how we act as parents, unless we solicit support to learn another way. For example, although we may have the best of intentions, we sometimes reject children’s feelings by making dismissive remarks, such as “Stop crying, there is nothing to be afraid of.” In all likelihood, these are the words our own parents said to us growing up.

Helping children grow emotionally The emotional lessons about cultivating inner strength that children learn from the adults in their lives are powerful and long-lasting. When adults ignore their children’s feelings, children come to believe their feelings are not important. When we repeatedly threaten or punish children for a display of emotion, children learn that emotions are dangerous things that need to be held inside and hidden—an invitation to later depression or rage. When adults are unable to show angry and destructive children other ways of expressing emotion and managing their feelings, children learn it is acceptable to strike out at others or have a tantrum to get what they want. Rather than dismissing the child’s feelings, parents can make a habit of naming emotions as readily as they name objects, thereby helping children increase their feelings vocabulary. Also, watching the way a parent models a certain behavior is the strongest way children learn. If parents calm down when they are upset before they act—or at least talk openly to children about losing their control if they do—this strengthens a pattern in the child of first stopping and calming down, then thinking about his or her response, and finally picking the best one and trying it. 8

Fall 2015 · Volume 1, Issue 1

One of psychology’s open secrets is the relative inability of grades, IQ, or SAT scores, despite their popular mystiques, to predict unerringly who will succeed in life.

A careful study of parental relationships and parents’ interactions with children has shown another style of interacting that can help children grow in emotionally sound ways.

Researcher John Gottman refers to this as being an “emotion coach.”3 This means that parents use opportunities presented by difficult or hurtful emotions, such as when a child has had an argument or experienced a disappointment, to explore the true nature of those feelings and how to work with them constructively. Parents can encourage children to use feeling phrases, such as “I feel sad” or “That made me really angry,” to express their emotions rather than simply acting on them. Children need ample opportunities to explore their emotional landscape with the caring adults in their lives.

Building Inner Resilience

In my book, Building Emotional Intelligence: Techniques to Cultivate Inner Strength in Children,4 I offer some practical ideas and strategies for both parents and the children in their care to develop the ability to appreciate silence and stillness by taking regular moments of quiet time together, and as a result, become more skillful in managing stress. The book suggests that families schedule this regular “quiet time” in order to bring balance, replenishment and calmness into their lives. There is also an accompanying CD with the book that has guided practices for children ages 5 to 7, 8 to 10, and 12 and up led by Daniel Goleman. With these materials, caregivers can develop some concrete skills in cultivating both their and their children’s inner strength and emotional intelligence.

Relationship between parent and child When children notice the flow of their feelings, thoughts or sensations during the calming exercises, they are developing the ability to draw on that awareness at any time in their lives. When they begin to feel upset and overwhelmed, they may first be able to use one of these techniques to begin to gain control of their emotions and calm themselves down. It is a lot easier for children to talk about why they are upset when they are able to get out of the “stress response” mode. If they are able to notice where in their body they feel this anxiety, they can use their mind to let go of it enough to be able to talk about it and even think of some ways they might solve the situation or feel better about it.

Children have a natural curiosity and sense of wonder about the world around them. As a result, they will probably respond positively—with interest and openness—to the idea of learning new things about quieting the mind and relaxing the body. Likewise, children welcome alone time with their parents and enjoy participating in common activities together. At the heart of this experience is the relationship between parent and child. This special kind of quiet time can serve to help children express their feelings and thoughts as well as provide a sense of warmth and safety. Having a regular time to check in with each other helps them begin to voice concerns or deep questions that need a more relaxed atmosphere to be expressed.

Two techniques for enhancing emotional intelligence Using Building Emotional Intelligence as a guide, parents can teach their children two techniques for enhancing emotional intelligence: 1. Relaxing the body (through progressive muscle relaxation and a body-scan exercise) 2. Focusing the mind (through a mindfulness exercise) In the early years, children are able to concentrate on quiet activities for about 20 minutes, so varying their experience with the material presented is essential. The process is more important than the outcome or product, although young children are starting to be able to sense the concept of cause and effect. For example, the idea that stress has certain effects in the body is something that they can begin to grasp.

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Building Inner Resilience

Also, children of all ages like routines and rituals, and repetitive behavior maximizes a child’s learning. Some of the benefits of making these practices a regular part of daily life for adults and children include: • Increased self-awareness and self-understanding. • Greater ability to relax the body and release physical tension. • Improved concentration and ability to pay attention, which is critical to learning. • The ability to deal with stressful situations more effectively by creating a more relaxed way of responding to stressors. • Greater control over your thoughts, with less domination by unwelcome thoughts. • Greater opportunity for deeper communication and understanding between parent and child, because you are sharing your thoughts and feelings on a regular basis.

What do you want? Take a moment right now and think about a child who is a part of your life, and ask yourself what it is you really want as a parent or teacher for this child. What are some of your hopes for him or her? A variety of answers will arise, depending on the particular needs, strengths and challenges of the child. However, whether or not this child will be successful at realizing those hopes is dependent on whether or not we, as the adults in their lives, have equipped them with the inner strength they will need to approach their day-to-day challenges and the big challenges life may throw at them. Are they capable of being resilient in the face of obstacles as well as opportunities? Can they bounce back and even surpass their level of coping when the tests of life come their way? What a precious gift children everywhere would have if they were equipped with practical tools to help them with emotional regulation 10

Fall 2015 · Volume 1, Issue 1

as well as to recover faster from stressful situations. The benefits are far-reaching—from better health and an increased ability to learn to more fulfilled and happier lives. May we have the time and the will to give our children that gift. n

ABOUT THE AUTHOR LINDA LANTIERI, M.A., is a Fulbright Scholar, keynote speaker, and internationally known expert in social and emotional learning and conflict resolution. She serves as Director of The Inner Resilience Program, is co-founder of the Resolving Conflict Creatively

NOTES

Program (RCCP) and is one of the founding board

1. M. Grolnick, ed. Forever After: New

members of the Collaborative for Academic,

York City Teachers on 9/11. (New York: Teachers College Press, 2006). 2. D. Goleman, Emotional Intelligence (New York: Bantam Books, 1995). 3. J. Gottman, The Heart of Parenting:

Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL). With over 40 years experience in education as a teacher and director of a middle school in East Harlem, and faculty member at Hunter College in New York City, Linda Lantieri has shown a lifetime

Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child

of commitment to enriching the daily lives of adults

(New York: Simon & Schuster, 1997).

and children alike. She is the coauthor of Waging

4. L. Lantieri, Building Emotional Intel-

Peace in Our Schools, editor of Schools with Spirit:

ligence: Techniques to Cultivate Inner

Nurturing the Inner Lives of Children and Teachers

Strength in Children (Boulder, CO: Sounds

and author of Building Emotional Intelligence:

True, 2008).

Techniques to Cultivate Inner Strength in Children.

CONSCIOUS PARENTING

Meditation and the Spiritual Life of Children By DEEPAK CHOPRA When they become parents, many people wonder how to impart spiritual values to their children. The traditional model of sending them to Sunday school is one alternative. But as more people turn away from organized religion to carve their own path, many parents choose to draw the entire family into the personal spirituality of the parents. Children grow up to reflect how they are raised, which makes this an important issue.

o begin with, a child’s spiritual life should be age appropriate. A very young child’s brain hasn’t matured enough to absorb adult beliefs, and the overall development of every child is unique. Before age 10 or so, I feel that spiritual parenting will have the most lasting effect if it builds a foundation in the self rather than focusing on principles. As a practical matter, every young child should feel that:

• They are loved and lovable. • They are worthwhile in their parents’ eyes. • Being a good person comes from within. • Happiness and fulfillment are natural.

A child starts to show personality traits very soon in life. Yet no matter how different they are, children need to feel worthy and loved.

With that in mind, parents should develop a child’s inner values, while keeping in mind that grasping these values mentally, in terms of abstract ideas, isn’t going to happen early on. Instead, children internalize what they see and how they are treated. Saying “Be nice to your little brother” makes an impression the first time, with decreasing meaning as it gets repeated. But seeing parents who are fair and kind trains a child’s brain in that direction.

At this stage, the role of caretaker is all-important. Young children have their own predispositions that show up early on. A child starts to show personality traits very soon in life. Yet no matter how different they are, children need to feel worthy and loved. The next phase of spiritual parenting is about values. Child psychology studies have shown that babies as early as 6 months old want to help their mothers, and even infants react positively when they see good behavior and shy away from bad behavior in others. So there is reason to feel that children have a moral nature. www.inspiredparenting.com

Meditation and the Spiritual Life of Children home environment will adapt to it, because it’s in their nature, but that doesn’t mean that they will emerge undamaged.

Meditation and the Inner Life

Lifelong values are not instilled through negative lessons and punishment. What a child takes away from these experiences is guilt, shame, and resentment. The same is true if parents instill fear and doubt by telling children, “Life is unfair,” “If you don’t look

out for number one, no one else will,” and “If you want anything in this world, you have to fight for it.” Remember, what we all grow up remembering most vividly from our childhood is the emotional tone of family life. Children raised in a tense, stressful, or difficult

MY LIGHT SHINES BRIGHT New Guided Meditation App for Kids, from Deepak Chopra

“If every 8 year old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation.”

12 Fall 2015 · Volume 1, Issue 1 www.chopraananda.com

Meditation can add to a sense of a child’s self-worth and even power, because it’s an activity that belongs just to them. The childhood brain is a factor here. It has been shown that introducing meditation in the schools leads to behavioral improvements in older ages (middle school and later). It benefits younger ages, I feel, when meditation fulfills the following criteria: • It feels like fun. • The child expresses enjoyment. • Nothing is forced or turned into a chore. • The whole family participates.

Meditation and the Spiritual Life of Children

The Chopra Center in Carlsbad, California.

Looking back, many adults feel turned off by the religious lessons their parents tried to impart because of an air of strict morality or pressure to be good. The beauty of meditation is that everything comes from within, but “within” means different things at different ages. Starting at age six or seven—each parent will have to play this by ear— the parents can sit down to meditate with a child using a simple technique. Sit quietly with eyes closed and follow the breath. Don’t ask the child to meditate for more than 5 to 10 minutes. Make it clear that if they stop enjoying it, they are free to get up and go play. But the parents should continue their own meditation for the usual time. By being invited in and yet given the freedom to choose, a child will associate meditation with something they have control over. The worst lesson is to feel that meditation is a way for them to be controlled, forced to settle down and “be good.” In other words, don’t make meditation the equivalent of sitting in the corner or taking a time out. A child who is running around or

acting out needs a nap, a talking to, or some other corrective. Meditation isn’t one of them.

Calmer, more centered, less troubled The greatest benefit of meditation comes when a child is able to notice actual changes themselves. They feel calmer, more centered, less troubled, less tempted to act out. A parent can coax these realizations, but gently, by pointing out a positive change. But be careful not to intrude. Everyone’s inner life is private, no matter how young they are. Taking note of inner changes probably won’t happen consistently until age 12 or later, and the attraction of major changes probably won’t happen until mid to late adolescence, a time when discovering who they are comes naturally to teenagers. I hope these points are useful, but the most important one became the theme of a book I wrote, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Parenting, which is this: If you want your child to lead a fulfilled and successful life, the best

route is through spiritual parenting. The child learns the value of their own inner world, and as the years pass, this value increases until the realization dawns that all of existence originates “in here,” at the level of the soul. We also have a new kids’ meditation app, called My Light Shines Bright. This app can provide an experiential introduction to these principles in a gentle and nurturing way. n ABOUT THE AUTHOR DEEPAK CHOPRA, M.D., is a global leader and pioneer in the field of mind-body medicine, and founder of The Chopra Foundation for Wellbeing. A prolific author of over 65 books, with twenty NY Times best sellers in both the fiction and non-fiction categories, he has transformed the way the world views physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and social wellness. For more information on the Ananda Kids – My Light Shines Bright App visit www.chopraananda. com. You can find more information about the Chopra Center at www.chopra.com.

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RADIO S H O W Inspiring and Empowering Conscious Parents, Families and Caregivers across the globe SANDIE SEDGBEER Live on OMTimes Radio Every Thursday 4:00 pm PST / 7:00 pm EST Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no denying that parenting today can be far more challenging than it was for our grandparents. For one thing, technology has transformed our world into something quite different than our grandparents experienced. For another, todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s children seem to be more evolved, more connected, more sensitive, and a darn sight more savvy than previous generations were. They also face far more challenges than we did as kids.

rom our governments to our boardrooms to our health services, greed, corruption, mismanagement, and lack of human consideration and care are rampant in the world today. If we want to create a safer, healthier, more peaceful world for our children, it has to start with the way we parent, nurture and educate them. And it has to start NOW! Hosted by Sandie Sedgbeer, international author, publisher, Talk Radio / TV host and Editor in Chief of INSPIRED PARENTING MAGAZINE, the Inspired Parenting radio show features an eclectic mix of guests from the diverse fields of neuroscience, psychology, sociology, health, nutrition, metaphysics

and the entertainment industry, all of whom have one thing in common: a heartfelt dedication to fostering peace, harmony and inclusion in society by educating the hearts of families and children. The INSPIRED PARENTING SHOW is broadcast live every Thursday on OMTimes Radio at 4:00 pm PST / 7:00pm EST. Go to: http://omtimes.com/ iom/hosts/sandie-sedgbeer/. All shows are archived and available to download and listen to at your leisure. For information on past and future guests you can also visit www.inspiredparentingmagazine. com/inspired-parenting-on-air/

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CONSCIOUS PARENTING

9 Strategies for Discipline That Build Healthy Self-Esteem By CHICK MOORMAN and THOMAS HALLER All parents agree that holding children accountable for their actions is a crucial part of parenting. They want their children to understand the cause and effect relationship between the choices they make and the consequences that flow from those choices. They want their children to grow up to be caring, confident, responsible people.

nfortunately, in an attempt to raise responsible children, parents frequently use discipline techniques that reduce a child’s self-esteem. Cultural influences often lead them to believe that discipline strategies need to be based on parental power and severe consequences to be effective.

Refuse to see children’s mistakes as bad, wrong, terrible, or awful. See them instead as opportunities for growth

The blame game Television sitcoms and reality shows on parenting are showing parents how to handle their children’s behavior with strategies that are primarily about fixing blame and using power to correct behavior. These strategies, although effective, produce feelings of worthlessness, shame, and guilt. They leave children feeling they are bad, naughty, no-good people. Their self-esteem and self-confidence are compromised. No parent wants to reduce his or her children’s self-esteem or leave them feeling they are bad and no good. Parents want practical, usable solutions to everyday parenting problems that hold children accountable while at the same time increasing their self-esteem. They want to know how to create a cause and effect relationship between choices and behaviors while at the same time helping children feel good about who they are as people. It’s time to help parents tackle difficult behavior problems while helping them build their children’s self-esteem. It’s time to show parents how to create

accountability in their family while fostering a sense of oneness and belonging. It’s time to help parents empower their children by letting them see and feel the results of their behavior. It’s time for parents to examine their current discipline approach and ask themselves, “What am I really trying to accomplish?” It’s time to change the face of parenting. Described below are nine strategies to help you parent in ways that foster healthy self-esteem. Consider using them to help you change your style of parenting.

Assume the stance that “mistakes are permitted here.”

Do not assign a positive or negative value to your children’s mistakes. Instead, see their errors as choices that offer opportunities for growth. Do not name a behavior a “mistake” or judge it until you see how the child chooses to use it. If your teenage daughter gets a speeding

ticket, sees the consequences, and then uses that experience to slow her driving, was the ticket a good thing or a bad thing? If your son forgets to put his bike away and loses the opportunity to use it for a few days and learns from that experience to see himself as cause, is forgetting to put the bike away good or bad? Refuse to see children’s mistakes as bad, wrong, terrible, or awful. See them instead as opportunities for growth—as data and feedback to be used for learning. Children make mistakes. Change your parenting style by choosing to see those mistakes as valuable and important components of the learning process.

Know that a consequence need not be severe to be effective.

It is not the severity of a consequence that has impact. It is the certainty. The certainty that specific, logical consequences follow actions allows children to trust the discipline process. Your consistency in implementing consequences is the glue that holds a discipline strategy together. If consequences are implemented consistently, children learn over time that if they choose to leave their bike in the middle of the driveway, the bike will be hung up in the garage for a few days. Teenagers come to know that if they choose to visit off-limit sites on www.inspiredparenting.com

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The Parent Talk System

9 Strategies for Discipline

the computer, they have chosen to lose computer privileges for several days. When the consequence occurs consistently, children can count on it and plan accordingly.

Set up consequences so that the child is in control.

Consequences are not used to control, to manipulate, to demonstrate power, or to get even. Attempting to use consequences for control crosses the line and becomes punishment. Discipline that builds self-esteem places the child in control of his choices and the outcomes that result. Punishment is force unrelated to the behavior and comes across as retribution. Disciplining from the power stance places the child in a position of being “done to” by others in a position of authority. The child, feeling powerless, does not see himself as being in control of the outcome. He sees himself as the victim. When children perceive them selves as being in control of

whether or not they experience consequences or outcomes, they feel empowered. They learn to see themselves as the cause of what happens to them. They realize that they personally create the results that show up in their lives by the choices they make. It is necessary that the child perceives himself to have power and to be in control of the outcome for discipline to be effective.

Separate the deed from the doer.

Children are not their behavior. They are not their report card. They are not their table manners. They are not their anger. Their behavior in the present moment is not who and what they are as human beings. “I like you and I don’t like that behavior” is Parent Talk that separates the deed from the doer. It tells the child that it is the behavior that is inappropriate. Love for the child remains constant, while the behavior is disliked. Using a communication style that clearly separates the deed from the doer keeps your verbal responses from reducing feelings of self-worth in your children.

See your children as unfinished.

Your children are only beginning on the path of becoming who they are meant to be. Yes, there will be imperfection. Yes, there will be derailments. Yes, they will experience delays and misdirection. Don’t we all? None of us is complete and finished. God is not done with any of us yet. Keep that in mind as you raise your children and you will move closer to parenting that builds their confidence.

Make no assumptions.

Beware of the assumption trap. As parents, we think we know. We think we know why our child lied to us. We think we know what she is thinking. We think we know what she will do next. We assume we know who started the fight in the next room. And our assumptions are not always accurate. If you remind your ten-year-old about his responsibilities with the garbage and he turns and walks away, you assume he didn’t hear you or that he heard and doesn’t care. With your assumption firmly in place, you use a tone and volume in your next communication that escalates the incident. Before you find out your son was on his way to get his shoes so he could take the garbage to the road, the situation sinks to a lower lever. Keep your communication on the high road, and seek to build esteem by freeing your mind of assumptions.

Focus on the situation, not on the child’s character or personality.

When you are frustrated, upset, or irritated with a child’s behavior, speak to the situation. If you see the recently purchased baseball glove lying out in the rain, tell your daughter, “I see a brand new baseball glove lying out in the rain. I feel irritated. Baseball gloves belong in the garage with the sports equipment.” www.inspiredparenting.com

9 Strategies for Discipline

This style of communication talks about the situation. It refrains from attacking character or belittling personality. “What, are you blind? You have no value of money. Get your lazy butt out there and take care of it” addresses character. Comments about eyesight, money values, or laziness are about personality and thus lack grace. By speaking to the situation instead of to a child’s character, you refrain from wounding her spirit and stay firmly grounded in discipline that builds self-esteem.

Search for solutions.

Using discipline strategies that build self-esteem requires believing that fixing the problem is more important than fixing blame. Searching for solutions and employing problem solving puts you in a teaching mode. Handing out punishments casts you in the role of policeperson, judge, and warden. Self-esteem increases when errors are corrected, not when they are punished. Energy spent blaming your son for spilling milk does not improve his milkpouring skills for next time. Angrily reprimanding your daughter for forgetting to feed the dog doesn’t insure that she will feed the dog tomorrow. When you invest your time searching for and creating solutions, problems do not need to be continually addressed. By solving a parenting problem while refraining from punishing, you empower your children.

Stay in the present.

Focusing on the present and forgetting about the past is essential to the state of grace. Treat every discipline situation as if it were happening for the first time. Eliminate phrases such as, “Okay, mister, that’s the third time this week,” “This is getting to be a pattern with you, isn’t it?” and “Here we go again” 18

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from your Parent Talk repertoire. If your son wet his bed for the fifth time this week, treat the situation as if it were the first incident. This ensures that you treat your children as they are right now rather than holding them to what they have been in the past. Parenting with discipline that builds healthy self-esteem takes practice. It requires a conscious effort. Make the above suggestions a priority in your life and change the style of parenting in your home. n

ABOUT THE AUTHORS CHICK MOORMAN and THOMAS HALLER are the authors of The Abracadabra Effect: The 13 Verbally Transmitted Diseases and How to Cure Them. They are two of the world’s foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish free parent and educator newsletters. To subscribe to the newsletters or obtain information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their websites today: www.chickmoorman.com and www.thomashaller.com.

CONSCIOUS PARENTING

How to Be a More Present Parent:

5 Activities to Practice Mindfulness with Your Child By JEANNINE PROULX Mindfulness helps us become more aware of the world around us and ourselves in it. Here are five mindful activities you can do with your child to become a more conscious, present, and inspired parent! 1 - The Walking Path

(Or The Heel to Toe Game) Begin walking by placing your heel down and then slowly moving your foot down to your toe. Do one foot at a time. Heel down to toe over and over again. Have your child pay attention to their shoulders, their back, legs, and feet as each part of their foot touches the ground. How hard is it to balance? How does it feel to walk this way? See who can keep their balance the longest or walk the farthest! 2 - Reading Game

While reading books, stop periodically and ask questions about what your child is experiencing while they are reading the book. Can they smell, taste, see, or hear the action of the story as it is being read? Can they feel how the character feels in the story? Children take in much more than we realize. Asking questions about what they are experiencing makes them more aware of their own feelings and encourages them to talk to us about their feelings in a healthy, conscious way. 3 - Flower Sight Seeing

Go outside or to a flower store and look at flowers. Smell the flowers. Talk about the flowers. But do not pick the flowers! This can be difficult to do. The natural human urge when one sees a flower or

something beautiful is to touch it, grab it, and capture it. Learning to appreciate without owning is an important mindful skill. 4 - Bedtime Relaxation

At bedtime, sit with your child and take three deep breaths in and out very slowly. Have them pay attention to their body starting with their feet. Have them stretch their toes, their feet, their ankles. Then up the legs, knees, thighs, belly, into the heart area, down the shoulders, arms, fingers, up the neck, head, and way over the head. Stretch and relax each part of the body. Speak very slowly and quietly as they stretch out the day. Playing soft music can also help the relaxation process.

By simply slowing down we can experience the world around us in a more conscious, deliberate, and present way. What can you do with your kids today to live a more mindful life? n

5 - 100 Bites Dinner Game

Dinner can often be a rushed, hurried, and unsatisfactory experience. By slowing down and becoming more mindful of the textures, tastes, and sensations of the food we eat, we can be more satisfied with the experience. Before you serve dinner, explain the game. The goal is to chew slowly with as many bites as you can! See how the food tastes different. Noticing and becoming mindful of the food we eat can also lead to a healthier and more delicious lifestyle all around!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR JEANNINE PROULX uses her degree in Early Childhood Development and her 25 years as a nanny in her work as an Intuitive Life Coach who helps highly sensitive children and families find balance in this busy world. Her current project, The Melody Method, uses the musical CD she co-wrote and recorded with her Grammy award winning jazz musician brother John Proulx to bring Life Readiness to life for preschoolers through music, meditation, movement, and story. Teacher training begins Spring of 2016. www.melodies4kids.com

www.inspiredparenting.com

THE IP INTERVIEW

A Father’s Message that Crossed the Globe “How would you feel if your son chose this?” By Mikki Willis When award-winning filmmaker/cinematographer, Mikki Willis, posted a video of himself and his sons on Facebook, he had no idea he was about to become a global sensation. Mikki’s video, with the message “How would you feel if your son chose this?” went viral, viewed by millions around the world. Since Mikki, who founded ElevateFamily.us, shares the same parenting philosophies as all of us at IP Magazine, we asked our publisher, Judy Julin, to interview him. Judy Julin: Hey, Mikki, how are ya? Mikki Willis: Doing amazing. JJ: What a difference a couple of days can make, eh? MW: Yeah, Things got a little crazy here for a while. It was totally unexpected and we’ve been in this whirlwind of media activities. JJ: I read online that, “a California dad is being called the Father of the Year” after a Facebook post went viral. That’s quite a moniker you’ve received. MW: I am super moved by it, yet have mixed feelings about the label that the media has granted me. There are countless awesome fathers around the world, and I am hesitant to accept anything that has me acknowledged above anyone else. It’s time to honor all fathers. JJ: Let’s talk a little about your ideas on “free-style” parenting. MW: I have had a couple of critics saying in response to my ideas that you can’t just let a child run free and expect that they’re not gonna run out into the middle of traffic. I think they are misconstruing the point and are way off with respect to how 20

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much we can trust children. If a child understands what the consequences are... I am amazed at how quickly my four-year-old course corrects himself when I take the time to explain to him what the potential outcome is. I’ll give you an example.

is what happens when you don’t brush your teeth.” That was almost a year ago. He has not missed a single night of brushing his teeth, by his choice.

Understanding consequences

JJ: Two things I’ve heard you say that I think epitomize a lot of what/who you bring to your parenting: one is “Take the time,” and the other is “I learned.”

We were having a real struggle with Azai brushing his teeth. He didn’t understand why we needed to put this uncomfortable instrument in his mouth with yucky tasting stuff. There was no value in it for him. From a toddler’s point of view, and even an adult’s point of view, all we’re really seeking is the most pleasure in every circumstance. And for him, that wasn’t pleasurable. He wants fun. He wants excitement. He wants stuff that tastes good. We would tell him every night, “You are going to get cavities if you don’t brush your teeth.” That means nothing to a four-year-old. Using the power of technology and media, we googled cavities. We looked at a bunch of images of cavities. He was very intrigued and wanted to see more saying, “Eww, what is that?” I would say, “Yeah, that little boy in the picture probably had a lot of sugar and didn’t brush his teeth.” He then said, “Daddy, I don’t want cavities.” I said, “Okay, then, it’s your choice. You get to decide because this

MW: There was a point when my wife and I both heard ourselves using a certain languaging with our sons. I began to explore it. Things like, “I just don’t have the time every time something new comes up to sit down and have these kinds of conversations.” We have a lot going on in our lives. We then stopped and asked ourselves, “Is that really true that we don’t have the time?” How long does it take us to repeatedly say, “No, don’t touch that, don’t do that, get down, etc., all day long?” If we added up all that time, it would be more than a five-minute sit-down conversation. So now we’ve realized the value in stopping everything and making the time… because this is our reality. Have that conversation and make sure you have their attention. It can’t just happen on the fly when they’re distracted with a lot of stuff going on. If you take the time to ask, “Do I really have your attention?” Or “I’ll wait till I have your attention.” Or “Let’s talk about this for a moment.” The results are amazing.

A Father’s Message that Crossed the Globe JJ: There are some schools of thought about children being mirrored reflections of the parents and the home situations/dynamics; that these sensitive young beings may be reacting to the behaviors, thoughts, and even the consciousness of those around them. What are your thoughts on this? MW: My inner statement when I reach a challenging point is “It’s never the child.” There have been times where I begin to put it on Azai, labeling him by saying, “God, he’s stubborn.” Or “Boy, he’s this or that.” My inner mantra reminds me that it’s never the child. Then I begin to question, “Well, who is it, then?” At that point, I realize that I’ve come to the edge of my personal work, my patience, and my limited vocabulary. That’s the edge where most parents will spank; some parents will medicate, punish, condemn, shame, all these things, which then turn out to be greater, future issues. My wife and I come back to the question, “What are we doing?”

The gift in having children is that they offer the greatest education. When I reach those points of my edge, that’s where I’ve learned so much. JJ: I hear you saying that it takes a village of conscious, aware, and patient big people to raise our children. Watching the MTV VMA’s, Kanye West stated, when accepting the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award, that we all must “listen to the kids.” This is so in alignment with your

There’s nothing more important than having quality time with your children, no matter what age they are.

invitation that we adults and parents hold a mindset of learning from the little people in our midst.

Mikki and Zuri Photo By Akira Chan

www.inspiredparenting.com

A Father’s Message that Crossed the Globe MW: That’s right. About a year ago, in a moment of peak frustration, I cried with my son Azai. I felt I couldn’t reach him. I was aware that I had been defaulting towards a very forceful voice and posture with him. I noticed old male control programming surfacing within me as I felt out of control with my son. So I broke down in tears, went with my gut, and said to him, “Daddy’s learning, too, Azai. You are teaching me, too. I really want you to know that we are doing this together.” Some parents and psychologists might say that’s not right. Hey, look, whatever works is right. And it did work. He heard me. He understood me, and that whole authoritarian separation just dissolved in that moment, and now we have this new level of connection. I now say, “Help me understand this, buddy.” He’ll actually communicate with me and dig deeper within himself to help me communicate because he understands that I’m trying to understand him. It shifted things for us in that moment. JJ: I love that you reaffirm that you went with your gut in that situation, and it worked. You might not do the same thing at another time, in another situation, but at that moment, your intuition led you. To me, that’s inspired parenting at it’s best.

Nadia, Zuri, Azai, Zephyr, and Mikki Willis. Photo By James Graca

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MW: Well, you just nailed the “secret sauce” of everything that we’re doing here, which is the cultivation of our children’s innate intuition. Helping them cultivate their own inner wisdom is at the foundation of every way we’re parenting right now. It doesn’t take 20-20 vision to see that our world lacks the self-guidance systems that we know we are born with. We’ve been told where to stand, whom to be, how to look, how to talk, when to work, when to break. We’ve confused that for being the “natural” way. For me, it’s always looking at the distinction between natural and normal. We live very normally and very rarely naturally. My wife Nadia and I have been together for 14 years, and we have never had a single fight. Some would say that’s just not natural. It’s natural to fight. And I would say, “No, it’s normal to fight.”

The best gauge to draw a distinction between normal and natural are the questions: “Is it loving? Does it produce love? Does it make you feel love? Does it connect you with others, with yourself, with your environment, or does it disconnect you? Does it make you judge people? All of that is on the normal side, and the natural side is this loving tendency. JJ: One last question, Mikki. Let’s say that one day, your youngest son has a sense of something in the moment that does not make any sense to you or your wife. One could say it wouldn’t be yours or Nadia’s “natural,” but it might, for the moment, be his. How would you, as an aware and conscious parent, open up to even more unique ways of your child’s being than you currently understand? MW: Wow, that’s a great question. We actually experience that all the time with our boys. We see them making choices. It can become a righteous position for us to say we know what is natural for our sons. The temptation then becomes for us to put boxes around what is natural and what’s not, and explain these things to our sons in this manner. I feel our jobs as parents are to protect and guide. That said, we’re all on a hero’s journey here. The hero takes on an adventure that ultimately leads them back to the holy grail of themselves. The hero has to have the adventure; to go out and endure things to broaden their capacity for empathy, compassion, wisdom, for understanding. There are times, then, when we say, “Let them explore. We’ve explained the circumstances, and he understands them, now it is our job to watch over them at times, even if they’re not aware of it. Let ‘em dig into what they’re doing, let them fully experience it and express it.” They then feel the freedom in their choice. They get the experience of walking in the sticker bush, getting the stickers in their feet and come back crying.

CMY

A Father’s Message that Crossed the Globe Now they fully understand when daddy says (speaking to my one-and-ahalf-year-old), there are “owies” in that bush. Then it becomes not just words; he has experienced it for himself. JJ: Loving those three E’s: Explore, Experience and Express. How nice that you give your children the space to do just that. MW: Thank you. I would love to say something particularly to fathers who might read this. As a man who was raised without a father, I didn’t know how to be a dad. I didn’t meet my dad until I became a little older, and now we’re best friends. He’s my hero in many ways. I did not have a whole lot of training when I stepped into fatherhood. I am grateful for that. What we’ve been told fatherhood is, isn’t necessarily accurate. We’re not just the breadwinners; we don’t just provide a roof over their heads. There IP05-AD-FULL_JeannineProulx_LY1.pdf 2 07.09.15 is immense value, both for you as a

Give children the skills to create harmony in their lives.

father and for your children, to be a consistent presence of both strength and vulnerability in their lives at every moment. I know that it’s difficult; a lot of fathers have to work, but if I could give any advice, it would be to “redesign your life.” Redesign your personal life around your children. There’s nothing more important than having quality time with your children, no matter what age they are. When you’re on your deathbed, you’re not going to say, “I wish I worked harder.” You’re not going to say, “I wish I owned more things.” You’re going to say, “I wish I were there more for my children.” So, redesign your life such that you can have consistent, quality time with your children when you choose. n

ABOUT THE AUTHOR MIKKI WILLIS is an award winning filmmaker/cinematographer and founder of Elevate and Elevate family.us. Regarded as a pioneer in the world of transformative media, Mikki and his crews have produced well over 400 productions, including record setting network television specials, theatrical features, commercials, music videos for multi-platinum artists, and media for some of the world’s foremost scientists, futurists, evolutionary experts, and best-selling authors. ABOUT THE AUTHOR JUDY JULIN is a gifted entrepreneur, creative thinker and marketing dynamo. Judy has been active in child enrichment, educational innovations and children’s wellness programming since 1982. She is the founder of CosmiKids, co-publisher of Inspired Parenting

A full transcript of this interview appears in our Member’s section on inspiredparenting.com. To watch the video that went viral, 17:01 visit: www.youtube.com/mikkiwillis.

magazine and CEO of Engage Enterprises, LLC., the lead developer of the World of Wonder (WOW) Learning Centers, multi-media platforms and educational reform through community-inspired innovation.

Do you know how to see with your heart? Your child will know how after learning these life readiness lessons from

Teacher Training

The MelodiesTM!

Starts Spring 2016!

The Melodies™ is an educational enrichment program for kids ages 2-6, using Music, Meditation, Movement, Story, and Song to bring Harmony to the Home One Song at a Time! - The Melody Method™ for Preschool Classrooms and - The Melodies in Motion™ Yoga Dance use The Melodies™ musical songs to reinforce social and emotional lessons that empower kids and families to calm, center, and grow together in the face of stress!

Free Song at:

www.melodies4kids.com www.inspiredparenting.com

NATURE’S MEDICINE

Aromatherapy: Nature’s Fragrant Pharmacy By STEFFANY KAMINSKI “He saw there was no mood in the mind that did not have its counterpart in the sensuous life, and set himself to discover their true relations, wondering what there was in frankincense that made one mystical, and in ambergris that stirred one’s passions, and in violets that woke the memory of dead romanticism, and in musk that troubled the brain.” —Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Grey

ome every spring and summer I get a welcome dose of smellinspired memories. Summer vacation spent snoozing in the hammock, gardening with mom and dad or swinging from the apple tree all contributed, but my favorite scent impression was fresh cut grass. Every Saturday, mom and I would go grocery shopping and have girl time while my dad and my little brother mowed the lawn and did yard work. I loved coming home from the store with her on those hot balmy days. Dad would be tan and sweaty from lawn work, and my brother with his long blond hair would be trailing behind with his plastic toy lawn mower. I remember it like yesterday, the boys would hear us pull up and come to help carry everything in. It was the true feeling of family. This memory overcomes me in mere seconds and the whole scene fills up in me again

and again. It happens every time I smell fresh cut grass. Every time! It still amazes me how powerful the sense of smell is. Think back to all the memories or emotions that you feel when certain fragrances are experienced. Do roses always remind you of grandma, or is it apple pie? It may not even be a pleasant smell that triggers memories. For instance, diesel and smoke bring back comforting feelings of my father. He was a fireman so there was always this faint smell of burnt wood on him that I grew up with. Most people would find these to be normally foul smelling aromas but they make me feel closer to my dad. Odor perception is extremely subjective and can vary from person to person. This phenomenon is called smell-memory.

There is a bonding between emotion, memory, and fragrance, which is why aromatherapy is great for emotional and spiritual healing. A child’s early life revolves around smell and touch. Infants identify their mother by smell and they are not repelled by the same smells as adults are. Children of different cultures may also respond differently to various exotic aromas such as spices.

The sense of smell The sense of smell (olfaction) is considered one of the special senses and it is possible to detect over 100,000 odors. Odor perception is conveyed directly to the brain. Many studies have shown that long-term smell memory is stronger than long-term visual memory.

www.inspiredparenting.com

Aromatherapy: Nature’s Fragrant Pharmacy The biology and psychology of how essential oils work is deep and complex; for that reason, I will shorten the process here. When the fragrance is detected in the smell receptors in the olfactory system, a message is sent to the limbic system in the brain where all emotional responses are located. Depending on the aroma, the limbic system may then activate the hypothalamus, which is the brain’s center for basic drives and emotions such as regulating body temperature, blood pressure, and heartbeat. Its role in awareness of pleasure and pain has also been well established. The hypothalamus then stimulates the pituitary gland, which produces various hormones and then in turn affects all other glands in the body. Some essential oils stimulate the logical left side of the brain while others stimulate the intuitive and creative right side. This is where consulting with a trained aromatherapist can be an invaluable tool in holistic healing.

What exactly is an essential oil? It is the “fingerprint,” or the aromatic principle of the plant. The unique aroma of each essential oil uncovers a facet of its character and healing potential. The essential oil is contained in the glands, sacs, or veins of different parts of the plant such as flowers, bark, roots, nuts, berries, seeds, bulbs, needles, fruit peel or leaves, depending on the plant. Essential oils are volatile oils which mean they turn from liquid to gas very readily at room temperature. Their consistency is more watery than oily and is not the same as oils used in cooking or as “carrier oils” such as almond or apricot oil in massage. Usually they are steam distilled or sometimes expressed in the case of citrus fruits. The most amazing aspect of essential oils to me is that you don’t even have to notice their scent for this whole chemical body process to take place. A small amount goes a long way and when using essential oils with sensitive 26

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A child’s early life revolves around smell and touch.

people, children, or the elderly, you can dilute until barely noticeable and still have an effect. Even if you have lost your sense of smell (anosmia) the essential oil will do its job.

Inhalation and absorption Most people think that essential oils only work by inhalation, but that is wrong. They absorb through the skin readily so topical application is another great way to experience aromatherapy. The most permeable areas of the body are the soles of the feet, the palms of the hands, head, scalp, and forehead. The use of massage with essential oils may help relieve stress, soothe sore muscles, speed up healing from bruises, reduce inflammation of sprains, strains, stings; the list goes on and on. When using essential oils topically, always be sure to dilute them in a carrier oil such as grapeseed, jojoba, almond, coconut, apricot or olive

oil. Undiluted essential oils can be irritating on the skin and one can become sensitized if overused in that way. If using essential oils on small or sensitive children, be sure to consult with a trained aromatherapist before administration. Always note the contraindications and cautions for all oils and never apply the oil neat (directly on the skin) unless otherwise noted. I am excited to start sharing my aromatherapy experiences and recipes with you in this new series* and encourage you to write me with any questions you have about the physical, emotional or spiritual properties of essential oils. Remember to get outside and take a deep breath. Notice the woody wet notes left in the air after the rain, crush some fresh herbs between your fingers, stop and smell a flower, a tree, or even a rock (yes, a rock, they smell like earth!) and pay close attention to how your body reacts. Are you grounded, peaceful, or energized and creative? The sky is the limit. * Look online for Steffany’s monthly series on how to use aromatherapy oils for different conditions and effects. n ABOUT THE AUTHOR STEFFANY KAMINSKI is a Certified Aromatherapist and Holistic Health Practitioner. A graduate with Honors from American College of Healthcare Sciences, she found the art of aromatherapy over 10 years ago. She has also studied essential oils and their subtle properties under Registered Aromatherapist and NAHA Director Kimberly Grasso, R.A. While working with a nutritionist she found her niche in helping children and began developing educational workshops and classes at a children’s holistic wellness center and spa. Steffany believes in utilizing a holistic mind, body, and spirit approach using nutrition, essential oils, chakras, affirmations, crystals, meditation and Native American ethnobotany in her therapies. In her free time, she can be found in her garden, experimenting with natural perfumes and holistic body care, building fairy houses with her niece, cooking up organic goodies or working on her photography.

Tender Hearts

Children and Stress: What We don’t Know Can Hurt the Whole Family By ALLAN G. HUNTER One of the things that we perhaps don’t see, as adults, is that our children are frequently placed under stress. We tend to think that our own stresses are so much more important and so much more varied, and we forget that many children suffer from stresses that, in their world, are quite as serious.

hink of it this way: your child heads off to school. When all goes well this is an orderly procedure, involving at worst a last minute scramble for shoes or gloves before the school bus comes or the minivan has to leave. Overall, your child is happy and reasonable. Now, alter that scenario just a little. Perhaps she is concerned about homework that didn’t get done because she didn’t understand it. Perhaps he’s afraid of being seen as unathletic in gym class or incompetent on the ball field. Perhaps she is afraid her clique won’t like the new sweater her mom just

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How many things, how many roles, are we routinely called upon to fulfill each day? You may be astounded by how many your child has to face.

made her put on. Perhaps you were worried about something and gave him or her a lunch that no one wants to trade with them. It all adds up.

However this all came about (and sociologists seem to have no real grasp on why childhood became so complicated so suddenly), your child is probably arriving at school with a series of demands to be a certain way that will alter with each new circumstance. And there may be more demands than she or he can face. The Math teacher seems to think that only Math homework matters. The English teacher, unfortunately, acts the same way. Peers want your child to dress a certain way and have particular things or they just won’t be a desirable friend.

Children and Stress

And the coach wants total dedication to the game or the young competitor is obviously a loser of the worst kind. Each of these is, in effect, a different identity that the child is asked to assume, and then change, several times a day. The result is that some children begin to feel completely inauthentic to themselves. They don’t know who they are. They can fake their way through most of the day, but by the end of it, they’re likely to be exhausted. No wonder, then, that children return from school and just want to vegetate in front of a TV, or why others decide that the only way to get out of the mental swirl is to take to drugs. After all, when one is under the influence of a substance at least one knows, temporarily, how one feels. Life becomes stable for a couple of hours. Other children decide to seek an alternative identity – but sometimes that identity is not very healthy, since delinquent or destructive behavior

is an easy option even if it offers no lasting way forward. This may sound desperate but some children certainly do feel this way, and especially those who are not academically gifted and who cannot therefore access a sense of personal strength through some sort of positive achievement.

Some Practical Things You Can Do to Change the Situation One of the things we can do with children to help head off this sort of situation is to ask them about who they are and what their life is like. The easiest way to do this is not to ask directly but to ask them to participate in a word game. The one I use is simple. It asks the child to respond as many times as possible, in writing, to the question “I am…” Sometimes children will give up to twenty responses. It can be very useful if the adult does this alongside the child, and they then compare results.

How many things, how many roles, are we routinely called upon to fulfill each day? You may be astounded by how many your child has to face. When you have your lists, share them. Your child may just see you as ‘Mom’ or ‘Dad’ and never think about what that means. But when she sees that you are a business executive, a regional manager, the person who does the shopping and laundry, the person who makes the lunches, etc., – then your child may have a different perspective, also. At this point, you can each take the lists and rank them in order of the amount of time and effort each item takes. Which role takes up most of your energy? It may surprise you. Which role would you like to be the most important? The child who writes that she would like to be on the basketball team as her first concern but finds that she’s spending most of her time trying to impress her clique is telling you some valuable information. www.inspiredparenting.com

Children and Stress

Families stop talking to each other for one reason only, and that is because they don’t feel the other members of the family will be able to hear or understand what they feel, even if they could manage to articulate it.

Perhaps her real abilities at basketball are being undermined because the ‘popular’ group won’t accept that achievement. If so, then her real sense of personal effectiveness is at risk from something much less tangible in the long term. This could be the start of a discussion in which your child tries to work through these conflicts. Remember, there doesn’t have to be a ‘solution’, and parents may want to be sensitive about being overly directive. If you tell your child what to do you may just be adding another stressinducing expectation that they feel they have to carry. So just be confident that the conversation can lead to your child feeling understood by you (which is what they really want) even if no practical answer is immediately forthcoming. Now, return to the exercise for a moment. Take the opportunity and create another list that starts “I am not…” This can be very revealing. Your child may feel all too acutely that they are not very good at some things. They may also be aware that others think they are something they’re not, and this may be a source of stress too. “I’m not a freak, and I’m not a liar,” as one child wrote, and this would be the starting place for a conversation about how they are managing socially. “I’m not very good at baseball” is a relatively innocent comment, unless of course one happens to be the son of the baseball 30

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coach - which was exactly the situation I worked with at one point. The exercise is very versatile. It works particularly well with young adults in their late teens and twenties, for example, since this is a time when there are many expectations upon them to be in charge of their lives, and frequently they don’t know how to do that. I’ve used this technique for over twenty years in workshops and classes, and people are often surprised by what they are able to express on the page that they had never been able to consider before. It gives them a chance to stand outside themselves and reassess who they have become.

Build a sense of personal value A third aspect of this exercise builds on the first two parts, and it is to write responses to the phrase: “I’d like to be…” What is it your child would like to be? Better at Math? Admired by others? If so, what can be done about that? Extra math coaching? In the case of being admired by others, it seems to me that a child who needs this validation is feeling that they can’t be proud of who they are now, so building up a sense of personal value would be the important step to take. What might help build this child’s confidence? This may take some conversation. Build on what he or she loves to do, as far as possible.

This simple, three-part exercise may not look like much, but it can open some very important doors at some extremely sensitive points of development. It can work well with children of almost any age from about eight upwards. In fact, many adults who have done this along with their children have told me that seeing themselves in this way has helped them to reassess how they live, and how they want to relate to their children. It has given them a new sense of how much their children have to deal with each day, and the importance of being able to keep up an open dialogue on such matters. And, after all, it’s the dialogue that really matters. Families stop talking to each other for one reason only, and that is because they don’t feel the other members of the family will be able to hear or understand what they feel, even if they could manage to articulate it. And so, we have the modern phenomenon of every person in the family eating at a different time in a different room, with the TV on. The free interchange of the family dinner conversations gets lost all too easily, and the excuse is that everyone is so busy. Perhaps the busy lifestyle is part of the problem, and what everyone concerned needs to do is to be able to check in and remind themselves of who they are, at their core. Knowing who we are is truly the only reliable way to be able to cope with stress of any kind. n ABOUT THE AUTHOR DR. ALLAN G. HUNTER was born in England and completed all his degrees at Oxford University. For the past thirty years, he has been a counselor and a professor of literature at Curry College, Massachusetts. He is the author of eleven books, including Stories We Need to Know; Reading your Life Path in Literature; The Path of Synchronicity; The Sanity Manual, and Princes, Frogs & Ugly Sisters: The Healing Power of the Grimm Brothers’ Tales to name just a few. www.allanhunter.net

Courageous Souls

Teen Friendships Why They’re Important and How to Help When Things Go Wrong By MAGGIE DENT I normally use the word adolescence when writing about the transition stage from child to adult because it often starts before one turns 13 and it definitely extends beyond 19, often into the mid-20s. However, the teen years are especially vulnerable years in terms of building social connections that are life enhancing.

ne of the main biological drivers of adolescence is the urge to belong with one’s peers or to create friendship circles outside of the family. This involves stepping back from parents as they build their autonomy and independence so that when their pre frontal cortex is complete and their executive functioning part of the brain that makes mature choices is complete, they become an adult (well, that’s the theory). The social dynamics of the adolescent world are fraught with challenge and delight. We know that stable, reliable friendships will support an adolescent during their ride to adulthood. It is a major protective factor in terms of resilience. Friendships help develop social skills, modify the dark moods of adolescence and enhance moral development. Through friendships, adolescents learn unspoken codes of conduct that they will take with them throughout life. This does not mean all friendships are plain sailing. Being sanctioned by your peers is one of the fastest ways to create the catalyst for an adolescent to change an unhelpful behavior or uncaring communication. Friendships can make or break an adolescent in many ways. Positive friendships are powerful protective factors that can help adolescents avoid unlawful or risky behavior. Negative friendships can do the reverse and can lead teens into delinquent or risky behavior. It can

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True friendship means knowing that you are never alone, and that right beside you is some one you can lean on, talk to and cry with.

be hurtful when your teen no longer wants to go on family outings because he or she would prefer to hang out with friends. However, it is a sign of healthy adolescent development as they unknowingly prepare their own future tribes. There can be enormous volatility in friendship links between 12 and 15 years of age. Many parents have stories about the cruelty of certain friends and the devastating impact they had on their growing adolescent. Teens are particularly sensitive to the barbs and wounds of friendship conflict— girls can be particularly brutal. When friends spread malicious lies that destroy reputations, the damage can be fatal, as demonstrated by the suicides of those who have been cyber-bullied. We learn the value of friendship many times in our journey through life.

Teen Friendships

True friendship means knowing that you are never alone, and that right beside you is someone you can lean on, talk to and cry with. It’s also about knowing that there is someone to share the joy, laughter and achievements with. Even more importantly, friends can help when life gets tough and when bad or sad things happen. Friendship means everything to a teen. To be socially and personally acceptable they need to be seen to have friends. The biological urge to belong is so strong that adolescents will do anything to be part of the crowd. They can easily take up with a group engaging in risky or criminal behavior, and many have come ‘off the rails’ in such circumstances. Nothing is as threatening in the social network of adolescents as ‘the loner.’ Being a loner

occasionally is not unusual, but it is developmentally unhealthy to be alone all the time and to avoid ‘hanging out’ with a friend.

How parents can help teens that have no friends In my time counseling troubled teens I found that many teens who struggled to have friends had been scarred in childhood, many had been bullied over often quite benign things like their name, the color of their hair, being too tall, too short, too skinny or too fat. This early bullying often creates a powerful negative inner critic voice that is shame-based and which, by the teen years, dominates their thinking and colors their view of the world making them feel useless or worthless. Teens that have had their trust broken in past friendships are frightened of being hurt again and so often

unconsciously avoid building new friendships.

Learning to trust is an important part of friendship If a teen’s trust is shattered, they will struggle in their adult years to overcome the powerful belief that no one can be trusted. It is very difficult to form a deep, long-term, intimate relationship without being able to trust. Parents and educators have a responsibility to let our emerging adults know that betrayal of trust can cause deeper damage than they realize. The inability to see social threats objectively can lead to poor decisionmaking during friendship squabbles. To be ostracized is a serious threat to a teen’s survival and they will fight to prevent that happening. The effects of social rejection can last for life. www.inspiredparenting.com

Teen Friendships

Bullying and physical violence has increased in our schools and communities partly because of the decreased emotional literacy, increased stress levels, less resilience and desensitization to violence from the screen obsession of many adolescents. Positive friendships that are formed during primary school need to be preserved if possible. The impact of moving an adolescent from a longterm location needs to be considered very carefully because such an experience of social dislocation can be like death to them. When they arrive in a new community, it’s hard to break into existing friendship groups. Unless 34

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the adolescent has some obvious attraction (like-minded interests) like being competent at sport, music or academically, this can be a difficult transition. If you have adolescents aged between 12 and 17, please consider very carefully before relocating your family. At this age, adolescents are most at risk of suffering from losing the protective net of established friends. The grief they feel can easily turn into deep resentment and anger towards their parents for ‘ruining their life’. To be able to build a new friendship, a teen needs to have any negative or limiting mindset changed or altered.

Teen Friendships

No amount of rational talking can do this. Until they feel better about themselves—that they are worthy of being liked, accepted and valued— they will simply sabotage most overt attempts.

Tips for changing a teen’s inhibitive mindset: • Find something that ignites the inner spark in your teen—no matter what it is! It can be something unexpected like growing flowers, herbs or chilies, breeding guinea pigs, rabbits or chickens, cooking wood fired pizzas, homemade bread or ice cream. Or it could be making short movies, writing songs or painting, building or making things, or possibly even cross country running, or environmental warrior activities. • Find some form of service for them to do—helping at an aged care facility, a recycling center, animal refuge or a charity. Helping others always make individuals feel better about themselves. • Use creative visualization to help rewire their mindset. (I have created several MP3 recordingss that are available in my online store for just $5 (AU), including Accepting Myself, Flight Fantasy, Relax and Escape or Dare to Dream.) These can be downloaded to an iPod, MP3 player, or smart phone, and listened to 3-4 times a week. • Make an appointment to see their school counselor, or a teacher your child likes so that they are aware of your concerns. • Keep an eye out for new students who come to school or to your community and make them feel welcome.

• Encourage making friends with kids of different ages. • Keep encouraging them to join clubs and social happenings that they have an interest in—when their self-esteem improves, they may just be brave enough to take that step. • Work hard to keep your relationship warm and caring—parent support is of the upmost importance! • Find a “lighthouse” to be an adult ally in their life—they can often do more social engineering than mums and dads. • Help them find an online ‘friend’ or circle of friends (however advise them about how to do this safely.) When social media is a positive experience, it can help lonely teens feel connected; however, if it is toxic and destructive it can make things much worse. According to recent research out of Queensland University of Technology, when played moderately, online games can be a good way for kids to build wellbeing – especially when played with others, The research says playing games with others “increases a person’s brain activity, improves their social wellbeing and helps them feel more connected with others.” *

• If you notice a change in your teen’s behavior that worries you – take action! Seek advice from your doctor, just in case your teen has become depressed.

Some signs to be concerned about: • Depressed mood (feeling sad or low). • Loss of interest or pleasure (in activities you normally enjoy). • Significant appetite or weight loss or gain. • Insomnia or hypersomnia (sleeping too little or too much). • Psychomotor agitation or retardation (being restless and jittery, or alternatively, slower than usual). • Fatigue or loss of energy. • Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt. • Impaired thinking or concentration; indecisiveness. • Suicidal thoughts/thoughts of death.

– From the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental disorders, 4th ed. (DSM-IV).

Friendship is one of the most wonderful rewards in this journey of life, and the experiences our young adults in transition have can set them down the road to the beautiful sunrise or down the road to the long dark night. Friends can offer care and support to each other, which can give them the strength and courage to deal positively with each and every challenge that life has to offer. n

• If your child is receptive to professional help do make sure they see someone who is known to be great with teens, whether it’s a counselor, chaplain, psychologist, social worker, youth worker, NLP practitioner or a kinesiologist. Teens often only give these people one chance to make a difference; if they don’t feel it was helpful, they won’t seek professional help again.

* http://eprints.qut.edu.au/63627/

ABOUT THE AUTHOR MAGGIE DENT is an Australian author, educator, speaker and parenting and resilience specialist with a particular interest in the early years and adolescence. Dedicated to being a passionate positive voice for children of all ages, she is the author of 7 books and a prolific creator of resources for parents, adolescents, teachers, educators and others who are interested in quietly improving their lives. www.maggiedent.com

www.inspiredparenting.com

g n i p l He

teens find their spark keep it lit

“I care deeply about young people and have done since I too was a moody, often confused adolescent who made some big, sometimes life-threatening, mistakes. My aim is to give young people and those who support them some key information that can help them find their true selves — and a pathway in life that allows them to make a positive difference in some way by using their natural gifts and talents.” - Maggie Dent BA, Dip Ed, Dip Couns.

Online resources from Australia’s ‘queen of common-sense parenting’

Death and Loss Through Taking the High Road the Eyes of a Teen (eBook) (eBook for teens)

Saving Our Adolescents Adolescence Unplugged: (video on demand seminar) A 6-week online course for anyone who lives or works with adolescents

Available at www.maggiedent.com

Calming audios for teens

@maggiedentauthor

Spirited Behavior

The Gift of Creativity Reframing Symptoms—Exercising Ingenuity By DR. LARA HONOS-WEBB One obstacle to inspired parenting is the epidemic of the diagnosis of Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). It is an obstacle to all parents—not just the parents of the 11% of school children who have this diagnosis—because of the way the label has turned developmentally appropriate behaviors, individual traits, and temperaments into signs of a brain disorder.

hat if a child’s spaciness, distractibility, and impulsiveness are essential attributes for promoting creativity? As a metaphor, a candle— or any fire—needs oxygen to shine and burn. Similarly, creative genius, or inspiration, requires a certain sort of spaciness. In fact, exactly the sort of spaciness your child might display. Creativity often requires reframing or rethinking old problems. Spaciness provides a larger frame for seeing a bigger picture to old problems. Spaciness lends itself to a different level of thought than that

Students with ADHD may miss the little details, but they can be masters at understanding the importance and meaning of material.

which typically created most problems. Children with ADHD have the capacity to solve problems created by rigid

modes of thinking. Children often get labeled as spacy for daydreaming. However, daydreaming is the fount of creativity. Daydreaming is the process of engaging the imagination. Imagination creates new possibilities; dreams of new and original possibilities not yet existing in the world. Children with ADHD are excellent at getting “the big picture” in and out of the classroom. Students with ADHD may miss the little details, but they can be masters at understanding the importance and meaning of material.

www.inspiredparenting.com

The Gift of Creativity

To think daringly original thoughts and to create new ideas or perspectives requires impulsiveness. Impulsiveness is the urge to do or to think things that are new and daring that fall outside the boring grind of the everyday humdrum. Impulsiveness is the urge to forge ahead into new areas of thought. Impulsiveness is being bored with whatever everyone else is doing or thinking. Impulsiveness is a necessary ingredient for forging new ground in any area of study or thought. Creativity and originality are by definition shockingly different from what has come before. Creativity is the introduction of something new and never before seen. Children with ADHD are quite good at creativity. Distractibility is the tendency to shift one’s attention to other arenas. It is the opposite of a horse with blinders plodding along carefully in the path determined by his master. In contrast, people that are distractable will pay attention to thoughts, feeling or events in the environment that seems to call out to them. They cannot focus because they are enchanted with other aspects of their experience. This is also an essential aspect of creativity. Creativity often involves blending ideas from different domains that seem separate or irrelevant to each other. Thomas Alva Edison—who, among other major inventions, invented the light bulb—was characterized as being easily distractable. He was known to have 40 different inventions in progress at

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It may be easier to train someone who is creative to be disciplined than it is to teach someone who is focused and disciplined to be creative.

one time. He would work on one until he got bored with it and move on to another one as inspiration hit. Another word for distractibility is flexibility, and it can be put to use in groundbreaking innovation and productivity. Your child is truly gifted to have been given the natural ability to engage in reverie or imaginative thought, to be bold and daring in wanting to bring their imagination into the world, and in being sensitive to inspiration from their thoughts, emotions or the outside world. In spite of these gifts, your child may struggle in school. That’s because, in the early years, educational systems focus on a “regurgitation model.” Children are expected to focus attentively, take in material presented in a rigid format, and “regurgitate” it back to the teacher to prove they were listening attentively. This style of learning is contrary to the great gifts your child has been given. It may be easier to train someone who is creative to be disciplined than it is to teach someone who is focused

and disciplined to be creative. Your child has the potential for excellence if they can learn to apply discipline to paying attention to detail and following through in translating their imaginative flights into completed projects.

Reframing Symptoms: Finding Creativity Without paying careful attention to your child’s inner process, it is easy to miss their creativity in everyday life. While your child appears to be trying to get out of going to her music lessons, she may be singing Broadway show tunes in her mind with perfect tempo and memory for all the words. Commonly, if a child is not doing what they are supposed to be doing, we think she is misbehaving. In fact, she may be exploring and expressing her unique gifts that do not match up with your tight schedules and plans for her.

Goofing Off is Not Giving Up Creativity requires goofing off. Goofing off is play, experimentation, trying out new ideas and adjusting them to see what fits, what works, what is more fun. As a parent, you may have observed your child engaging in an activity for a small amount of time and then after some time of practice the child starts to “goof off.” For example, one parent complained that her daughter asked to take lessons to learn to play the clarinet. She would practice her lessons at home for only 15 minutes then she would put her clarinet down and dance wildly running around the house like a Tasmanian devil. Her mother called this “giving up.” It could also be another form of creativity, or a strategy for discharging all of her excitement about playing music. It might be her boredom with practicing lessons contrasting with her desire to add her own daring and impulsive energy to the practice of the clarinet. Goofing off is not giving up.

The Gift of Creativity

On The Importance of Being Confused In a similar way, confusion can be reframed as an appreciation for the mysterious; as a humility in the face of the complexity of the world. Your child may get in trouble in school for looking or acting confused when called on or when participating in classroom exercises. His confusion or

apparent disorientation may look like he is not paying any attention at all. It may make him look less intelligent and provoke harsh comments from teachers and students alike. Confusion is an admission that one does not fully understand the material being covered. Confusion can represent an experience of the mystery of what is being taught. For example, in reflecting on photosynthesis, a child with ADHD

EXERCISE: Fill In The Blanks

One of the easiest ways to generate strength-based understandings of your child’s behavior is to look purposely for it. For the following exercise, you will want to write the sentence stems on a piece of lined paper and ask your child to fill in the blanks. It can also be fun for your child because it requires using their creativity and gives them a chance to show you what they are thinking. 1. I am most creative when 2. I can show others my imagination by 3. I am really good at 4. My last really good idea was

might be awed by the order and harmony in the universe that allows for the sun to nurture plant growth, which in turn nurtures the human environment. A child with ADHD might get derailed in the experience of awe and get confused about the details of the Krebs cycle or detailed aspects of the biology of photosynthesis. Confusion is essential to creativity but gets a bad rap in our culture that makes a virtue of being sharp and quick at all times. When you have completed the exercise on the left with your child, you will want to translate some of the results into action. For example, in the case described above, where the child thought that church needed to be more fun, you can take her comments seriously and suggest that you and she talk with a minister. If you agree with her, maybe you could try another church. Perhaps you could give her a chance to show the family how she would do a church sermon that would be funny to give her a chance to show off. Once your child’s impulse is honored or given expression you can expect any problematic behavioral expressions of it to be reduced. n

5. The last idea I had about something that needed to be improved was ABOUT THE AUTHOR

6. One thing I do differently from everyone else is

DR. LARA HONOS-WEBB. is a worldwide ADD expert and offers

7. I do this my way because

ADD coaching. She is a clinical psychologist and author of The Gift

8. I can help others because 9. I can make the world a better place because 10. The thing I like most about myself is

of ADHD, The Gift of ADHD Activity Book, The Gift of Adult ADD, The ADHD Workbook for Teens and Listening to Depression: How Understanding Your Pain Can Heal Your Life. Her work has been featured in Newsweek, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, Prevention Magazine, The Chicago Tribune and Publisher’s

11. Other people like me because

Weekly as well as newspapers across the country and local and national radio and television.

12. I wish people would understand that

Dr. Honos-Webb completed a two-year postdoctoral research fellowship at University of

13. I wish I could show people

California, San Francisco, and has been an assistant professor teaching graduate students.

14. I wish my teacher knew 15. I wish my parents knew

She has published more than 25 scholarly articles and is the editor and founder of Heal Myself magazine bit.ly/1p1142E . Learn more about her work at www.addisagift.com

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Sensitive Bodies

Raising Healthy Kids With A Plantpowered Lifestyle Approach By RICH ROLL and JULIE PIATT As parents, we all want what’s best for our kids, including healthy eating habits. This is a daunting prospect for many. But with patience and the right approach, it’s not only possible, it’s actually not that hard. Sure it will take time. But if you consistently adhere to a few simple principles, including the tips and experience shared in this section, it won’t be long before you begin to notice a positive sea change in your children’s default habits around food — a priceless step in the direction of greater long-term family health.

ver time, as you and your family blaze this new path, have faith that you and your loved ones will come to intuitively understand the fundamental relationship between food choice and vitality. The desire to feel good will begin to motivate healthier choices across the board. Want to hear something really wild? Ramping up your plant intake will seed the intestinal tract with a healthier microbial ecology that will profoundly impact cravings. Soon that hankering for a cheeseburger will be replaced by a desire to eat the foods that make you

feel great. I realize it sounds crazy, but it’s true. It happened for us. It happened for our kids. And it can happen for your family too. I have a big family and everyone wants something different. How can I possibly make this work for everyone without spending all day in the kitchen? Maybe you want to go plant-based but your husband is a hardened carnivore. Your daughter is lactose intolerant. Your son has a peanut allergy and won’t eat anything unless it is slathered in cheese. As a mother

of four, I empathize. Families are a complex composite of preferences and personalities. Indeed it can be challenging to divine a single meal plan that makes everyone happy. I don’t have the miracle answer to solve this problem for you overnight. But nothing good happens overnight anyway. Creating sustainable lifestyle change is a constantly evolving journey that takes tremendous patience, persistence and experimentation. However, I will leave you with one non-negotiable rule – the key to meeting this challenge is ensuring that a preponderance of healthy fruits and vegetables find their way onto every family member’s plate at every meal, period. Here are some more vital tools to help you and your children make the shift:

Walk Your Talk

Julie with her sons Tyler and Trapper.

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Again, I cannot overemphasize how important it is to lead by example. Your actions simply must line up with your actions. That doesn’t mean you have to be all in. But it means being honest, transparent and accountable to your children regarding your own eating habits. Nobody is perfect, and this subject is a great platform

Raising Healthy Kids

to communicate openly with your kids about what is working for you and what is difficult. Children are smarter than we give them credit for. Honesty breeds trust. And it truly is a two-way street. Simply put, you will not win their respect if you bark at them about salad while you raid the cheesecake at midnight. Embrace everyone with unconditional love and acceptance It’s important to meet people where they’re at. We’re not here to tell anyone what they should or should not do, only to share our experience and what we have learned for those that are interested. Everyone is on his or her own path. We find it best to reserve judgment and trust that every individual has a compass to guide his or her way in his or her own time. The most powerful gift you can offer your children is true love and respect. The only real goal here is to get more healthy plants into their diet. Consider every time that happens as a triumph and don’t focus on the negative. Keep preparing amazing food and they will come to love and even appreciate it. Don’t take “I don’t like it” as gospel. Try it again and again. Never give up. Just keep persisting, creating and experimenting.

I have a big family and everyone wants something different. How can I possibly make this work for everyone without spending all day in the kitchen?

Engage your children in a lively, detailed discussion about why you are choosing the foods you select. Ask them which foods they would like prepared for dinner and why. Have them find recipes they like and then prepare the dishes together. Time in the kitchen with kids is a valuable life experience. Teaching young kids to cook healthy dishes breeds a sense of pride, ownership and self-esteem. The first thing we taught our little girls to make is our chia seed pudding. Because they learned how to make it and enjoyed the process, it quickly became a family favorite, supplanting all store bought dessert options.

Great recipes will become part of your family tradition. Learning how to prepare healthy food together will transform your lives.

Bring Green Drinks Into Your Home Start working green drinks into your kids’ routine. If blending and juicing is a new concept for your family, ease into it with delicious fruit-based smoothies or creamy almond and banana varieties (they taste like milk shakes). But always slip in a leaf or two of kale. Over time, as you and your kids acclimate, begin upping the “green quotient” of your blends by adding some spinach, cucumber, celery or chard. This is highly effective!

Create A Beautiful Table And Setting Enlist your children to design a table arrangement from the garden, using twigs or toys from their room. Make it an artful event with complete creative freedom for the kids. They will start to enjoy and look forward to eating at the table as a family. Soon, that veggie they turned their nose up at will turn up in their stomach. n

Creatively Involve Your Kids In Recipe Preparation Involving our children in the process of growing, buying, preparing and serving food has been revolutionary. Each step in this process is an invaluable educational and experiential opportunity for your kids. Take them along with you to the market. If there is a farmer’s market in your area, even better. Strike up a conversation with the farmers themselves and encourage your kids to ask questions. www.inspiredparenting.com

Sensitive Bodies

Recipes Rich in Plantpower By RICH ROLL and JULIE PIATT The Plantpower Way: Whole Food Plant-Based Recipes and Guidance for The Whole Family is a transformative family lifestyle guide on the power of plant-based eating—with 120 recipes—from world-renowned vegan ultra-distance athlete Rich Roll and his chef wife Julie Piatt.

reated by renowned vegan ultradistance athlete and high-profile wellness advocate Rich Roll and his chef wife Julie Piatt, The Plantpower Way shares the joy and vibrant health they and their whole family have experienced living a plant-based lifestyle. Bursting with inspiration, practical guidance, and beautiful four-color photography, The Plantpower Way has more than 120 delicious, easy-to-prepare whole food recipes, including hearty breakfasts, lunches, and dinners, plus healthful and delicious smoothies and juices, and decadent desserts. But beyond the plate, at its core, The Plantpower Way is a plant-centric lifestyle primer that finally provides the modern family with a highly accessible roadmap to long-term wellness and vibrant body, mind, and spirit health. The Plantpower Way is better than a diet: It’s a celebration of a delicious, simple, and sustainable lifestyle that will give families across the country a new perspective and path to living their best life. Here are two recipes from the book.

Untuna Wraps This is an amazingly easy off-thehook-tasty recipe. My sons say that the only thing missing from this tuna is the mercury – well put! I sometimes crave the tuna taste from my childhood sandwich memories. My little girls asked me recently, “Mom, what is a tuna sandwich?” Although they have been enjoying this walnut and olive based recipe for years, it wasn’t until that moment that I realized they had nothing to compare it to, as they have never actually eaten a real tuna sand42

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wich! After collecting myself, I replied, “it’s a fish.” They protested, “Why would you eat a fish! That’s an animal!” I had to stop to ask myself the same question, why would I? Well, now you too can say so long to your classic tuna salad, because with this recipe you won’t have to. It’s actually uncanny how much this dish indeed tastes like tuna – and that’s a promise.

Deep Blue Sea Blend Hawaii in a glass. When Rich raced the Ultraman World Championship on the Big Island of Hawaii we experienced the beautiful island spirit of kokua, extending love to others, and ohana, or family. This blend is a little gift of kokua to our plantpowered ohana. Brimming with manganese, thiamin and vitamin C, this sweet, tropical island elixir supports a healthy immune system. Spirulina delivers the ocean within by providing potent detoxifying properties, phytonutrients and a high level of protein from the sea. Drink this blend and immerse yourself in the healing aqua waters of Hawaii. Aloha!

Ingredients • 1 ½ cups raw walnuts • 1 cup pitted Kalamata olives • ¼ cup seaweed or sea veggies • 2 celery stalks, coarsely chopped • 2 tablespoons Bubbies relish with amino acids • Romaine leaves, collard greens, or your favorite bread Preparation 1. In a food processor, pulse the walnuts until mealy in texture. 2. Add the olives and sea veggies. Process again for 30 seconds or until well incorporated. 3. Turn the mixture out into a medium bowl and fold in the chopped celery and relish. 4. Spread on romaine leaves, wrap in a collard green, or spread on your favorite bread. We love hemp bread and gluten-free millet varieties.

Ingredients • 2 cups chopped pineapple • 1 frozen banana • ½ cup raw coconut • 4 cups coconut water • ½ teaspoon spirulina Preparation In a Vitamix or high-powered blender, add all the ingredients, blend on high for a minute. Drink! Reprinted from The Plantpower Way by arrangement with Avery Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) LLC, A Penguin Random House Company. Copyright © 2015, Rich Roll & Julie Piatt

Sensitive Bodies

A Safe Shot Strategy for Parents Who Choose to Vaccinate By LAUREN FEDER, M.D.

rom the Hippocratic oath of “First do no harm” to the homeopathic aphorism, “The physician’s highest and only calling is to make the sick healthy, to cure, as it is called,” every practitioner’s mission is to provide quality care to patients, and do no harm. The idea that vaccination, which is hailed as one of the greatest successes in public health, could be dangerous is an outrageous notion to most physicians. With more people recognizing that there can be side effects following a shot, parents are interested in taking measures to prevent if not minimize any health problems. If you decide to vaccinate, make sure your child is in good health. If your child is sick or has been recently (in the past two weeks), I encourage the “wait until better” approach. If your child is cranky, fussy or not himself, this may mean that he could be getting sick: wait until he is better. If your child has been on antibiotics, wait at least six weeks until getting a shot. Antibiotics weaken the immune system and it is not uncommon that children become sick soon after. Wait until better. For children who have chronic conditions such as allergies, eczema or recurrent ear infections, the timing of vaccination becomes more complex. Unfortunately, so many children live with chronic problems now that we also need to consider the possibility that the condition has been caused by or connected to previous shots. I believe it is best to treat these underlying conditions preferably with natural holistic medicine before vaccinating again. Many parents bring their children to see me for a homeopathic medicine to help strengthen

their child’s constitution prior to getting a shot in the hope that this could decrease the chance that the vaccine could aggravate the preexisting condition. If you vaccinate your child, I would recommend using a safe shot strategy to both educate yourself and to help prevent if not minimize any possible adverse effects following a shot.

The Safe Shot Strategy is outlined in four steps. 1. Be familiar with the disease. Answer the following questions: a. What is the disease? b. Are there any complications? c. How is it treated? d. How common is it in the area that I live? In my country? e. What is the risk of your child contracting the disease? 2. Be informed about the vaccine: a. What are the benefits of the shot? b. What are the risks?

3. What is the standard vaccine schedule? a. Know which shots will be coming up at your next doctor visit. 4. Is this the right time to give the shot? a. If your child is ill, delay the shot until better. b. If your child has chronic conditions that might affect his or her immune response, talk to your practitioner before the vaccination. c. If your child has recently taken antibiotics, steroids or other strong medications that weaken the immune system, wait several weeks until he or she has stabilized. d. Check your child’s health before and after the shot. Contact your physician if your child shows signs of agitation, discomfort, or serious illness. www.inspiredparenting.com

A Safe Shot Strategy

Natural treatment before and after the shot Because it is important that children be healthy at the time of the shots, I prefer extra strengthening for the immune system prior to and following vaccination. Most pediatricians will recommend you give your child such medications as acetaminophen, to reduce any fever or body ache. In general, many parents in my office practice prefer not to begin with standard medications as these can mask or suppress symptoms, which can make it difficult to determine if there is any reaction, and consequently also make it harder to find a proper homeopathic medicine. Before any vaccination, I recommend administering the following suggested list of remedies seven days prior to

and after the shot for general strengthening of the body. These may also reduce possible side effects following the vaccine: At our office, we offer separated, thimerosal-free shots, and provide parents with information on the following regime, which can be used in mixed variations. • Black Currant (A gemmotherapy herbal preparation for general strengthening) can be alternated each day with Briar Rose. • Briar Rose (gemmotherapy herbal preparation for children’s ailments and immune strengthening). And/or • Vitamin C is a natural general immune strengthener for children (less than 2 years of age: 100 mg twice daily - over 2 years, 250mg two times a day).

In our office, we prescribe the following homeopathic medicines on the day of the shot: • Ledum palustre 30C for puncture wounds following a shot - 3 pellets one hour before the shot, and two doses after the shot (every 12 hours). • Thuja occidentalis 30C, a general medicine for vaccine effects - 3 pellets twice a day for 3 days following the shot. • Chamomilla 30C - 3 pellets if needed for fussiness following shot. • Arnica montana 30C, for local swelling and soreness - 3 pellets twice a day for 2 days following the shot. n

In Memory of Lauren Feder, MD.

hen it comes to Family Wellness and Conscious Parenting, there have been few more passionate and committed advocates than Dr. Lauren Feder. Described by many who knew her as a “bright light,” Lauren truly personified the word GRACE. As both a medical doctor and a certified homeopath practicing in Los Angeles at her Center for Natural Family Medicine, Lauren was beloved by many who recognized her uniqueness. For Lauren Feder truly was that “rare thing” – an open-minded, compassionate physician who had an uncanny ability to calmly and competently address some of today’s most controversial family wellness issues including, to name just a few, natural pregnancy and birth, alternative medicines for babies and children, and vaccine safety and choice.

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As an author, educator and speaker, Lauren was a true trailblazer. Her books, Natural Pregnancy: Practical Medical Advice and Holistic Wisdom for a Healthy Pregnancy and Childbirth, and Natural Baby and Childcare: Practical Medical Advice and Holistic Wisdom for Raising Healthy Children from Birth to Adolescence are among the most intelligent, practical, and reassuring guides for pregnant women and families intent on raising healthy and happy children. The world has lost an intelligent and courageous woman and a beautiful soul. And all who knew Lauren will miss her. Inspired Parenting magazine wishes to honor Lauren Sue Feder Haarpaintner, 55, who was born in Durham, North Carolina, and who passed away on November 28, 2014, after a humbling experience with cancer.

Scholarship Fund In memory of Lauren Feder, we have founded the Dr. Lauren Feder Scholarship Fund, which will enable ten individuals per year to have free annual subscriptions to Inspired Parenting Magazine’s premium content FOR MORE INFORMATION, or to nominate a potential recipient, please Email publisher@inspiredparenting.com.

SUPER LEARNERS

Blueprints for Success— Your Child’s Personal Learning Styles By LearningSuccess™ Coach Mariaemma Willis, M.S. Would you force your child to wear shoes that don’t fit? I hope not! Shoes that are too small hurt and cause damage; shoes that are too big hinder walking and can result in tripping or falling. You want your child’s shoes to be the correct size, right? What about your child’s education—does it fit your child? An education that doesn’t fit is as painful, or even more painful, than ill-fitting shoes—AND an ill-fitting education affects a person for life. What does an ill-fitting education look like? Well… when learning is painful, causes anxiety or anger, or leads to boredom or, even worse, depression, these are all signs of an ill-fitting education. Did you know that most adults are held back from what they could be doing because of their school experiences? Did you know that being labeled slow, lazy, learning disabled, dyslexic, ADD, or even average or gifted stays with you forever, and affects what you believe about yourself and your abilities? Did you know that people in their forties, fifties and sixties, no matter what they’ve accomplished, are still controlled by messages they received in school? I’m thinking of a woman who didn’t think she could advance in her business because when she was in school she got the message that she wasn’t capable. What was the problem in school? She tapped her foot and wriggled in her chair because she is kinesthetic and needs movement to learn. Another adult spent years in a career she disliked because she didn’t think she was smart enough to do what

she really wanted to do—teach. Others are held back because they are not great spellers or because memorizing is difficult for them. Whether your child is in traditional school or is homeschooled, you have the power to make sure that your child’s education is the right fit, the correct “size.” Since there are many facets to learning, we might think of it more like the blueprint or map you would use to create the program that is best suited for each child. I believe that learning style information about a student is even more important than test scores. How can you teach someone if you don’t know how he/she learns best?

Your child’s learning styles are his/her blueprint for learning success and life success. So let’s take a look at the five important elements of learning style that affect all learning, working, and communicating: 1. Dispositions are our basic learning personalities and are like the hardwiring in a computer. The Dispositions are: Performing, Producing, Inventing, Relating-Inspiring, and Thinking-Creating. Most curriculum—for both traditional classroom and homeschool—is created for the Producing Disposition only. All others lose out. If you are Performing you need to move in order to learn, and incorporate fun and entertainment; Inventing people need to explore, question, and discover; RelatingInspiring students need collaboration and discussion to do their best learning; and Thinking-Creating people need lots of unscheduled time to wonder, imagine, and be creative.

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Blueprints for Success

2. Modalities tell us what is the best way for your brain to bring in information—visually, auditory, or tactile-kinesthetically. However, most people don’t realize that there are sub-categories: visual print or visual picture; auditory listening or auditory verbal; tactile-kinesthetic hands-on, whole body, sketching or writing. The secret to making the most of a student’s Modalities is in these sub-categories. For example, students who are Tactile-Kinesthetic Writing Learners remember things they write down. Students who are NOT Writing Learners will never learn spelling words by writing them over and over! But maybe one of these students is a Sketching Learner, and drawing picture clues would work for spelling. Similarly, Picture Learners need graphics, charts, and color—flash cards with words on them do NOT work for Picture Learners. Another example is the Verbal Learner, who needs to hear the sound of his/her own voice. Verbal Learners often get in trouble for reading aloud or “talking to themselves.” Their teachers or parents don’t realize that they are intuitively using the Modality they need for effective learning to take place!

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Finding out your child’s learning style has benefits for your child and for you!

3. Interests are our #1 motivators. When we are passionate about something, we will work our tails off! The best school program is the one that allows for interest-led learning—there is nothing more powerful. 4. Talents are a person’s natural skills

and abilities. Sometimes people are interested in pursuing their Talents and sometimes they are not. If your child has a Talent that he/she is interested in pursuing, it’s possible to build the whole school program around this Talent. 5. Environment is an important element that is often taken for granted. Color, Sound, Temperature, Time of Day, and Lighting are some of the things that can affect your mood, ability to concentrate, and productivity. For one person one of these elements might be crucial, for someone else it wouldn’t matter. Sometimes a very small change in the Environment can have a dramatic result. One mom told me that her daughter’s least favorite color was black and, suddenly, she realized that the “schoolwork table” was black! She had not thought about it before. So she covered the table with her child’s favorite color. The result?—a big change in getting things done.

competent, responsible, independent, creative adult. For more than twenty years I have been coaching parents and teachers in how to customize their children’s programs. It is hard to imagine teaching students of any age without first finding out about their learning styles. Think of it as the foundation for learning, the blueprint for providing successful learning experiences, or a map to each child’s successful future. With the information you get from your child’s learning style profile you can reinforce your child’s strengths as well as celebrate and encourage his/her own way of learning. When we support the way students learn best, they feel optimistic about their possibilities in life. And, they are more likely to persist longer in the face of challenges and to want to make a contribution to society.

Homeschooling If you are homeschooling, you don’t have to cut through any bureaucratic red tape to customize a program to fit your child’s personal learning needs. You can start today! If you are not homeschooling you might be wondering what you can do to ensure that your child’s school program better fits your child’s needs. Here are a few tips:

Benefits for both you and your children

1. Find out about your child’s learning styles and talk with your child’s teacher. It is possible to partner with a teacher – to be on the same team – for the important job of educating your child. Take the opportunity to share what you have discovered about your child’s learning styles.

Finding out your child’s learning style has benefits for your child and for you! This kind of information can improve: 1) your child’s chances for success, 2) your ability to communicate with your child, 3) your ability to mentor effectively, and 4) your chances of raising a

2. Research the schools in your area – including private schools if that is an option for you. Observe classes, ask lots of questions, find out about individual teachers and their teaching philosophies, as well as the school’s philosophy.

Blueprints for Success

3. Consider homeschooling if this might be the best route for you and your child. With learning style information about their students, parents and teachers can get to the roots of how their students learn best and can skillfully enhance learning engagement and performance. Here are some examples: JANET’S teachers and parents thought she couldn’t focus. She asked questions unrelated to the lesson, or fiddled with things instead of “paying attention.” Our profile showed that Janet had an Inventing Disposition and a Hands-On Modality. Fiddling with something enabled her to take in auditory information, and her questions allowed her to make connections with the material. She was paying attention after all!

JOHN’S teachers and parents were concerned that John didn’t seem interested in learning. He didn’t like to read, didn’t do his homework, and was the class clown. Our profile showed that John had a Performing Disposition and that he was not a Print Learner. John learned best with pictures, charts, and graphs, and he needed to move in order to learn. His teacher was able to use this information to enhance his performance and to assure his parents that John was a capable student.

Special Offer We are offering readers of Inspired Parenting $5.00 off each Learning Style Profile Online. To order: http://learningsuccessinstitute. com/products/a-self-portraitlearning-style-profile/ Enter the following promotional code: MagIP-LS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

We can all probably agree that parents and teachers want the very best for their students: for them to do well in school and be successful as adults. My experience as an educator and trainer of teachers has shown me that meeting the learning style needs of students is a key factor in accomplishing these goals. n

MARIAEMMA WILLIS, M.S. is co-author of Discover Your Child’s Learning Style & Midlife Crisis Begins in Kindergarten. She is co-founder of LearningSuccessInstitute.com, which provides LearningSuccess training for parents and teachers, and the SolimarAcademy.com, which offers customized programs for homeschool/ independent study. http://mariaemmawillis.com

No one nurtures the Inner Magician in your Kids like CosmiKids!

ow do you teach children selfconfidence, self-esteem and an “I can do anything” attitude that will serve them well throughout their entire life? As with everything in life, the best way for children to learn is through personal experience. According to Dr. Maxwell Maltz, the hugely successful originator of psychocybernetics: “Confidence is built upon the experience of success.” CosmiKids’ first foray into selfempowerment products assists children to recognize that they have a vast reservoir of inner resources that can help guide and steer them through many life experiences. The more they are encouraged to tap into and access this reservoir by using the Inner Wizdom Cards and the Magical Days Cards, the more experiences of success they will have, and so the more they will boost their self-confidence and belief in their own abilities. ■

CosmiKids’ Magical Days Cards

CosmiKids’ Inner Wizdom Deck

$9.95 Based on the CosmiKids Stations of Discovery, the principle message of the Magical Days Cards is that every day can be a magical day. The only thing we have to do is to choose to make it so. Designed to be used on a daily basis, the cards use positive suggestions, ideas and affirmations to provide the child with motivation, inspiration and encouragement to do something positive each day, or look at something in a different way.

$9.95 The Inner Wizdom Deck features 28 cards, each of which utilizes simple, empowering NLP and hypnotherapeutic language to bypass the conscious mind and speak directly to the child’s unconscious. Subtle yet incredibly powerful, this deck effectively encourages children to tap into, access, utilize and combine the tremendous creative power of their mind with the inherent wisdom of their heart to develop confidence and create genuine magic and wizardry in their lives.

www.inspiredparenting.com 47 Available at: www.inspiredparentingmagazine.com/store

SUPER LEARNERS

Animating All Students: How Cartoon Characters Are Helping Children in the Classroom Former “Rugrats” CEO, Terry Thoren, and his business partner Rudy Verbeeck are using animated lessons to help children develop their language skills and improve their learning habits.

ne of the many challenges facing parents and educators at this time of the year is getting students back into the right behavioral mode for learning. It’s natural for students to slip out of “school habits” during the summer but reinstating good learning practices can be time-consuming and frustrating. Unfortunately, there’s now so much pressure on teachers to stick to the curriculum on a day-by-day basis that there’s little time to ease students back into the educational rhythm. Terry Thoren, the former CEO of Klasky Csupo, Inc., the animation studio behind Nickelodeon’s worldfamous Rugrats and The Wild Thornberrys, and famed software producer Rudy Verbeeck, decided to channel the same passion that young students have for watching cartoons to remind them of good learning habits. “We produced the 20 new back to school animated lessons to help make the transition back to school easier for students, parents and educators alike. Because teaching appropriate behavior during the first three months of school encourages better behavior throughout the entire school year, the lessons are a strong foundation for year-round success,” explains Thoren, now the CEO of Wonder GroveLearn.com. These back to school lessons address critical challenges that educators face when students transition to the first few months of a new school year. Each animated video models appropriate behavior for students in Pre-K through 2nd Grade, such as “listening when the

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Terry Thoren

It’s natural for students to slip out of “school habits” during the summer but reinstating good learning practices can be timeconsuming and frustrating.

teacher is talking,” “using polite words,” “lining up quietly,” and “how to handle a bully.” The studio is also applying its animation to language development. WonderGroveLearn.com includes 200 instructional animations and 1,600 printable extension lessons in Spanish and English. “Young students develop language skills rapidly, and they quickly absorb whatever they see and hear in animation. This accelerates their understanding of new words in two different languages at an incredibly fast rate. Research shows that when young children form an emotional connection

with animated characters they model the behavior of the characters. We’ve created engaging, age-appropriate characters that reinforce positive behaviors in Spanish and English,” adds Verbeeck, who speaks six languages and is the brains behind Wonder Media’s proprietary animation software.

The animations focus on important areas of learning The back to school initiative is only one element of the resources WonderGroveLearn.com offers to parents and educators. The 200 instructional animations focus on important areas of learning such as social-emotional learning, life skills, health, science, nutrition, safety, and vocabulary. There are also unique “words of the day” episodes, in both English and Spanish, where animated characters teach words in the proper context in less than sixty seconds. The 200 instructional animations come with 1,600 printable extension lesson plans that align to 90% of the Common Core State Standards. The idea is to give parents and educators a tool to engage students by showing animations during the school day and then extend each theme to a printable extension lesson that address CCSS standards.

Animating All Students

Thoren has spent decades studying the effects of animation on children. As CEO of Klasky Csupo, he was the executive in charge of production of 600 TV episodes. He oversaw the production of Rugrats when it was Nickelodeon’s number one animated show, as well as the popular cartoons Rocket Power, The Wild Thornberrys, and the Emmy-nominated As Told by Ginger. “Cartoon characters are the biggest stars in entertainment. They are in countless TV series, in video games, and in Hollywood’s most profitable movies. Every waking hour before and after school, cartoon characters are prevalent in most children’s lives,” says Thoren. “However, between 8:00 am and 3:00 pm when students are in a classroom, there are no animated characters. The classroom is a wasteland for animation. There are very few animations that satisfy educational standards that can be used in a classroom today.”

“We produced the 20 new back to school animated lessons to help make the transition back to school easier for students, parents and educators alike.”

in your day, and in your relationship with students,” she adds. “Videos that model appropriate social skills, like ‘Always Tell The Truth,’ ‘Persisting,’ ‘Managing Impulsivity,’ and ‘Knowing How to Handle a Bully’ are lessons that every student needs. But no one talks about them until you and the

student are both frustrated, and this frustration never ends with a positive outcome. The nice thing about WonderGroveLearn.com is that you can implement a video each day for only three minutes and know that the students are learning the right way to behave.” Guidance Counselor Joan Swank also understands the importance of the program. “Because I’ve been doing this for 28 years, I have resisted technology and animation. But when I watch how the students relate to the animated characters, I feel they do have a way of reaching the kids that’s very different than anything else I’ve seen,” says Swank. “The bottom line is that if students are going to be successful in school, they have to have good behavior and good social skills.

Straight to the source To develop the lessons, Thoren went straight to the source—the classrooms. “We worked with educators to define the core intention of each lesson. Then we created storylines that use our age-appropriate characters to address each lesson. We produce instructional animations to bring the stories to life. Then we tested the animations in the classrooms and made alterations and edits.” The finished product is the result of direct teacher and student feedback, addressing the needs of everyone in the classroom. Janelle Vargo, an educator at Morrison Elementary in Dayton, Ohio, uses the lessons several times a day in her classrooms. “This is the first time I’ve ever had a tool that is literally at my fingertips all day,” says Vargo. “You never know when you’re going to need it.” “Even if it’s just adding an animation to your fluency group, or adding a cartoon to your behavior check-ins, it’s going to make a huge difference www.inspiredparenting.com

Animating All Students

And the stories featured in WonderGroveLearn.com give me a great tool to cut right into what that skill is.” Teacher Betsy Jones says her Pre-K through 4th Grade classes are benefiting as well. “I was using the lesson ‘Use Polite Words’ and we did some role playing after they saw the video. One of the students really struggles with using polite words, and you could see the light bulb go on when he knew what he was saying wasn’t nice. The videos help reinforce social skills by giving students an age-appropriate visual and by giving them ideas and strategies for what they should do. And they start acting that out in the classroom.” Animation is particularly beneficial in bilingual classrooms, according to Verbeeck. “The lessons are both comprehensive and detailed with 50

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Guidance Counselor Joan Swank also understands the importance of the program. “… when I watch how the students relate to the animated characters, I feel they do have a way of reaching the kids that’s very different than anything else I’ve seen.”

a number of activities that take into account the academic and linguistic developmental growth of children who are still developing their native language while adding a second language.

“It’s a valuable tool for bi-literacy because it targets children at the age when they are most receptive to developing language skills. Cartoons are a universal language that children consume day in and day out over and over again. Animation is a great way to model language acquisition because animated characters know no borders. No linguistic borders, no cultural borders, no gender borders. The WonderGroveLearn.com animations will stand the test of time because they can model positive, appropriate behaviors for young students everywhere.” Animation can have a magical effect on young children and can help eliminate anxiety. Terry Thoren, Rudy Verbeeck, and their team are using this magic to improve classroom behavior, language acquisition, and keep children motivated to learn new ways to communicate. n

Lara Honos-Webb, PhD Photo by Jamie LaPierre

www.visionarysoul.com

Lara HonosWebb is a

worldwide ADD expert and offers ADD coaching. She is an expert contributor to the website Sharecare.com, founded by Dr. Mehmet Oz in partnership with Harpo Studies and Sony Pictures, to improve health and

wellness. She is a clinical psychologist and author of The Gift of ADHD, The Gift of ADHD Activity Book, The Gift of Adult ADD, The ADHD Workbook for Teens and Listening to Depression: How Understanding Your Pain Can Heal Your Life. Her work has been featured in Newsweek, The Wall Street Journal, Prevention Magazine, The Chicago Tribune and Publisher’s Weekly as well as newspapers across the country and local

and national radio and television. Honos-Webb completed a two-year postdoctoral research fellowship at University of California, San Francisco, and has been an assistant professor teaching graduate students. She has published more than 25 scholarly articles. Her website is www.addisagift.com. For appointments, e-mail lhonoswebb@msn.com.

“This book will encourage your brain and your soul. Honos-Webb will show you how to find the promise in attention deficit disorder (ADD) and powerful tools for managing the pitfalls.” —Daniel G. Amen, MD, founder and director of Amen Clinics and author of Healing ADD The Gift of ADHD, Second Edition How to Transform Your Child’s Problems into Strengths 6 x 9 / 240 pages / ISBN: 978-1572248502

more books by the author

The Gift of ADHD Activity Book 101 Ways to Turn Your Child’s Problems into Strengths 5 x 7 / 216 pages ISBN: 978-1572245150

Listening to Depression How Understanding Your Pain Can Heal Your Life 6 x 9 / 192 pages ISBN: 978-1572244436

The Gift of Adult ADD How to Transform Your Challenges & Build on Your Strengths 6 x 9 / 248 pages ISBN: 978-1572245655

The ADHD Workbook for Teens How to Transform Your Challenges & Build on Your Strengths 8 x 10 / 144 pages ISBN: 978-1572248656

Available from fine booksellers everywhere, New Harbinger Publications, 1-800-748-6273 / www.newharbinger.com and, in Canada, from Raincoast Book Distribution, 1-800-561-8583

PARENTS ARE PEOPLE TOO

Dipping into the Real Fountain of Youth By DIANE NICHOLS, MA It is said in legend that in 1513 Ponce de Leon, the ambitious Spanish explorer who was governor of Puerto Rico at the time, grew weary of his wealth and the ways of the world.

e sailed off in search of the fabled Fountain of Youth, for rumor had it that those who drank from the spring’s miraculous waters were instantly restored to the vim and vitality of body, mind, and spirit they had enjoyed in their younger days. Although Ponce de Leon never located the Fountain of Youth, (discovering Florida was his consolation prize), the secret of retaining aspects of eternal youth is available to us today. The secret is not found in a bottle of imported water or in a fancy jar of expensive face cream. You will not find it in a gym or health spa. In fact, it costs nothing and is located right under your nose. Pssst, come closer. Closer. I’m going to whisper the secret into your ear. The secret of eternal youth is…spending time with children. Now some folks might retort, “You’ve got to be kidding. What are you saying?! I’ve got three kids. I spend time with them and they’ve aged me considerably! Have you ever driven in a carpool? I watch soccer games. I attend ballet recitals. I take them out for pizza. And do I feel younger? No! I’m exhausted! ” Okay, that may all be true. But there are different kinds of “time.” The kind of time with children that restores vim and vitality is not the swirling, chaotic speeding from one planned obligation to the next that many people experience in our current society. The time with children that refreshes and leaves one feeling joyful and light requires nothing more than letting your own inner child peek his or her head out to play with them. Imagination is the key.

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The secret of eternal youth is… spending time with children.

Children get it. Left to their own devices, they are infinitely creative. If there were no computer games or robotic dogs, no air hockey or television, no iPods or action figures, children would still discover myriad ways of keeping themselves entertained. When children enter the interior realm where imagination dwells, they can create worlds within worlds where delights abound. They are magnets of the amazing! Fountains of fun! And we can join them there if we dare. It doesn’t cost a dime. This is very good news when you look at the price of a gallon of gas or a quart of milk these days. As a bonus, both you and your child get to give and receive co-created magical memories that only take moments to share.

Invisible card game There was a game my daughter and I enjoyed when she was a youngster in grade school. Before leaving the house each morning we would each give the other an invisible card so we would be reminded how much we loved and supported each other during the day. My daughter would solemnly hand me her “card” saying, “This is a lavender heart with purple lace on the edges. In the middle of the heart is a white and pink unicorn named Zanzibar. She has

a sparkling mane and she is dancing on a field of flowers. On the bottom it says, “I love you, Mom” in golden letters. It also plays music if you hold it upside down.” I would take the card respectfully and thank her for her kind words and wishes before placing my card into her upturned palm, saying, “On this card is a smiling yellow duck the color of buttercups in the sun. He is wearing a polka dot party hat and holding balloons of every color. The writing on the bottom of the card says, ‘Good Luck from the duck. And Mom. Xoxo.’ As an added feature, the duck winks occasionally.” We would each tuck our cards into our sleeves for safekeeping during the day and head out the door to school and work. This ritual exchange only took about three minutes and my daughter, who is now 22, remembers it fondly to this day.

Dream rabbit When my son Will was young, we discovered the wonders of the Dream Rabbit and his sidekick, the “Dreamu” (Dream Emu). These furry friends were mere stuffed animals amid a sea of stuffed animals in his closet until the night my son requested a dream to help him drift off to sleep. I grabbed the rabbit that happened to be close at hand, looking very dapper in his red waistcoat, black bow tie, and checkered breeches. The rabbit hopped up over the bedcovers and stood gazing into my son’s curious face. He explained in a throaty voice that he had a

Dipping into the Real Fountain of Youth

dream for Will and that, in fact, he had a dream for every single child in the world which is why he had to pass it along fairly quickly and then get moving. After all, children in Vene zuela were waiting for him expectantly. (Every night the Dream Rabbit was rushing off to another part of the world.) The rabbit brushed my son’s nose with his paws to make sure the way was clear for the dream to enter. (Until the Dream Rabbit showed up, we had no idea that dreams actually enter a person through the nostrils.) Night after night, the rabbit would weave his words into wonderful, comforting dreams. “Tonight you are an otter slipping and sliding down a muddy hill. Splash! You dive into a cool stream where six of your otter friends are playing tag. You chase tiny fish and play hide-and-seek in the reeds. Your body is sleek and powerful. You feel the sun warming your otter fur. You feel happy.” The Dream

There are golden opportunities to connect with your child while driving in the car. Rather than writhing because you are stuck in traffic “wasting time,” you might enjoy a visit to the Fantasy Playground together.

Rabbit would then kiss each cheek, assuring my son that he was going to have a deep, restful sleep filled with the best dream he’d ever had. He hopped off the bed and bounded into the hall calling his signature farewell over his shoulder, “The best dream you’ve ever had! Don’t forget!” The funny thing was that more often than not, the next

morning my son would quite happily declare that he had actually had the dream the Dream Rabbit had bestowed upon him the night before. He looked forward to this simple bedtime ritual. We both did!

Golden opportunities There are golden opportunities to connect with your child while driving in the car. Rather than writhing because you are stuck in traffic “wasting time,” you might enjoy a visit to the Fantasy Playground together. This is a place of pure creation with infinite possibilities. Ask each other aloud, “If you could be anywhere in the universe doing anything right now where would you be and what would you be doing? Who would be with you? What does this place look like? Smell like? Does anything there taste interesting? Are there any unexpected lovely surprises that you encounter there?”

www.inspiredparenting.com

Dipping into the Real Fountain of Youth

You can build a scene separately with each person sharing his or her individual fantasy or you can build a co-created scene together, taking turns filling in details. Take the lid off! Release your inner censor! Would you like to be a mermaid singing with dolphins off the Western coast of Atlantis at sunrise? What would it be like to have an elaborate tea party up in a tree with a friendly family of hedgehogs all wearing baseball hats? Can you soar upon the back of a yodeling parrot all the way to the Pleiades where a feast of pomegranates and cinnamon toast awaits you? You can modify this game with older children or even your spouse. “If everything was going exactly as you wish it would right now in your life, what would that look like? How would you feel if all of that was really happening?” This is a powerful manifestation tool. The more attention you give to these internal images, and the more you repeat them, the more likely they are to come true. (I can’t vouch for the pomegranate feast on the Pleiades, however.) Many Olympic athletes successfully use this effective technique to reduce stress and perfect their abilities. You may notice that you feel lighter while you are imagining such an abundance of good things coming your way.

Teach your children to dance Another way to put a youthful spring in your step is by dancing. Play all kinds of music: Classical, Jazz, Rock ‘n’ Roll, Big Band, and Hip Hop. Try some Gregorian chants or music from other countries. Spice it up! Alternate between slow music and fast. Make up new steps with your child and name your dances. “The Peanut Butter Polka.” “The Crazy Itch.” “The Shivering Sloth.” Teach your child how to Waltz and ask to be shown one of his original dance creations. In her adult seminars, Jean Houston (a leader in the human potential movement) often 54

Fall 2015 · Volume 1, Issue 1

The more attention you give to these internal images, and the more you repeat them, the more likely they are to come true.

asks audience members to conduct music with various parts of their bodies, including eyelashes, elbows, and toes—sometimes all at once. This is a fun exercise that lifts one’s mood and pumps up energy levels.

Imagination games Sometimes you may find yourself in a situation where you have to wait with children to be served. This might be in a doctor’s office, in line at the grocery store, or in a restaurant. At times like these, there is a simple imagination game that makes the minutes fly by more quickly. Each player draws forth an outfit from “The Miraculous Closet” and describes each article of clothing as they “dress” the other person. This can be done with movement or you can enjoy just talking through it, or depending on your comfort level wearing invisible clothing in public places. Pretend you are dressing a science fiction robot for an important research mission on the planet Yada Yada. Be extravagant! Imagine that you are dressing Marie Antoinette for a royal costume ball. What would a cranky troll wear in the mountains of Norway? A fairy? A circus performer?

an outdoor Farmer’s Market where piles of apples, oranges, and assorted vegetables had been neatly displayed in wooden crates. My son turned to look at the produce for sale and I heard his small voice in the back seat sigh, “Oh, Mama. Look at all of the beautiful gifts Mother Earth has given us.” Something stirred inside of me. I thought about an orange growing on a tree, soaking in sunshine and rain. I thought about the sweet smell of an orange as it is peeled, its luminous interior saturated with juice, and in that moment, my heart expanded. I thought of all of the oranges and other foods that are produced on the earth each year and how many people take these amazing, generous gifts for granted. I thought of air and clean water and violets. I thought of clouds and sand and ladybugs. It took a child’s perspective of wonder to snap me awake from my routine of sleepwalking through life. Want to stay young and fully alive? Take time to see and feel with a fresh, open heart. Stretching your imagination and engaging with children in interesting ways may not pay the credit card bill or help you to decide what to fix for dinner. It won’t fill out tax forms or get that stubborn stain out of your good tablecloth. But it will lift your spirits, help you feel years younger, and sprinkle a little magic into your days. So, set your worries aside for a few minutes. Dive in to the Fountain of Youth and drink to your heart’s content. It’s worth it. Your child and your inner child will thank you. n ABOUT THE AUTHOR DIANE NICHOLS received her

Slow down and notice the world around you

MA in Partnership Education from Goddard College. She works as a freelance editor and education

Another way to share your child’s youthful zeal is to slow down and really notice the world around you. I was driving on a busy street in Seattle one day with my three-and-a-half year old son strapped into his car seat behind me. We stopped at a red light beside

consultant. She is the creative director of Untamed Imagination: Fearless Arts Exploration for All Ages and is currently writing a book with the same title Through the years, she has learned a great deal from children and is always amazed at their unique perspectives, their wisdom, and their freedom of expression.

Another way to put a youthful spring in your step is by dancing.

PARENTS ARE PEOPLE TOO

Parenting Commitment Quiz How Committed Are You to Raising Caring, Confident, Responsible Children? By THOMAS HALLER and CHICK MOORMAN Are you a committed parent? Do you place family first? Is your success at home as important as the success you achieve in other areas of your life?

ost parents would answer yes to these questions. Probably you would, too. But are you really committed? Do your actions match your beliefs about your level of commitment? Would you like to find out just how committed you really are to your children and the role of parenting? If so, take the quiz below. Read each item and answer yes or no. Use the scale at the end to determine your commitment quotient.

I have played a board game, shot baskets, played catch, or read a story other than at bedtime with my children in the past week.

I have attended a game of soccer, hockey, baseball, volleyball, basketball or a dance or music lesson in which my child has been an active participant in the past two weeks.

I am willing to get dirty along with my children. I have made mud pies, jumped in a puddle, rolled down a hill, engaged in a water balloon fight, let my daughter grease her own bike, allowed my young son to put mustard on his own hot dog, or created chalk sidewalk art with my children recently.

I create a culture of account ability in my family by setting reasonable, related consequences and implementing them with love and gentleness.

I believe that holding my children accountable for their actions and choices is one of the most loving things I can do as a parent. I consistently follow through on the consequences I set. I do not rescue, give them “one more chance,” or let it slide “this time.”

I see “mistakes” my children make as opportunities for growth and learning. I do not judge their mistakes as good or bad until I see how they choose to use the mistake.

I create a shared control style of family management by regularly accepting input from all family members. I spend as much time listening as I do talking.

7. 1.

12.

I attended the most recent parent/teacher conferences at my child’s school and/or I talked with the caregiver at his or her childcare facility for thirty minutes or more in the past month.

I have attended a parenting class or read a parenting book in the past month.

13.

My spiritual faith is visible and I regularly engage in it in front of my children. We have frequent family discussions about our beliefs and values.

14.

I have set firm and reasonable limits for my children about television, food, video games, bedtimes, and extracurricular activities. I enforce these limits consistently with gentleness and love.

I believe that fixing problems is more important than fixing blame. To that end, I invest my time in searching for solutions to problems rather than in handing out punishments and determining fault.

10.

I regularly invite my children to help search for solutions. I help them discover solutions by guiding, directing and exploring possibilities with them. I allow them to test some of their own solutions to see if they work.

11.

I know that March 20 is International Parenting Commitment Day and I have already created and planned a ritual to help celebrate that occasion.

15.

I strive to make myself dispensable. I allow my children to assume increasing amounts of control over their own lives.

16.

When I’m feeling hurt or angry, I communicate with words and refrain from sulking, pouting, and yelling. I tell my children what I’m feeling and own responsibility for those feelings without telling them they made me feel that way. I communicate directly, honestly, and openly.

17.

I have invested time in helping my children understand a choice or decision they made in the past two weeks. I debriefed it with them, allowing them to come to their own conclusion as to how well they were doing. I regularly help them self-assess so they can develop their inner authority. www.inspiredparenting.com

Parenting Commitment Quiz

Extra Credit If you considered each item seriously and answered honestly, give yourself two bonus points. Scoring Key Count the number of times you answered yes and compare it to the scale below. 20 - 18 – Super Committed You are regularly demonstrating and modeling what your children need to see from you as a parent committed to raising responsible, caring, confident children. Give yourself a big pat on the back. 17 - 14 – Committed Your children will benefit from your level of commitment while you commit to raising it in the future. Congratulations.

18.

In the past week I have helped my child understand a feeling he or she was having. I gave the feeling a name so he or she could identify that feeling in the future.

19.

I model closeness and affection by giving my child regular hugs, smiles, and eye contact. I schedule alone time with each child each week.

20.

My children hear me say what I am going to do and see me do what I say. My children know what I value and believe, and they consistently see me living according to those beliefs and values. My actions are congruent with my words. I am comfortable in assuming the role of learner on occasion and in allowing my child to take the lead. I learned an

important lesson from my child this past week. I preserve the traditions of our family. I’ve created and maintain a nostalgia corner in our home where we keep family photos, scrapbooks, schoolwork, family stories, and folklore.

22.

23.

When I’m stuck and not sure what to do next, my children hear me ask for help. I model help-seeking strategies for them. I have asked one of my children for help in the past week.

Fall 2015 · Volume 1, Issue 1

9 and below – Wishy Washy Commitment Although you demonstrate some admirable commitments, you have a lot of work to do. Begin today by adding to your repertoire of healthy commitments. Your children are worth it n ABOUT THE AUTHORS CHICK MOORMAN and THOMAS HALLER are the authors of The Abracadabra Effect: The 13 Verbally Trans-

24.

I demonstrate my caring by regularly engaging in activities with my children that they enjoy. I play games with them using their rules in their way on their time schedule.

21.

13 - 10 – Sometimes Committed You have made many worthwhile commitments to your children and still have commitment holes in your parenting style. You have work to do to move up on the commitment index.

mitted Diseases and How to Cure Them. They are two of the world’s foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish free parent and educator newsletters. To subscribe to the newsletters or obtain information about how they can help you or

25.

I admit to mistakes, and my children see me make amends quickly.

your group meet your parenting needs, visit their websites today: www.chickmoorman.com and www.thomashaller.com.

Advisory Panel

parenting and relationship correspondent to

children, including Parent Talk: How to Talk to Your

Dr. Barbara Bullard has worked as a

WNEM TV 5 (CBS affiliate). He can be seen on

Children in Words That Build Self-Esteem and

Professor of Speech Communica-

television answering viewer’s questions four days a

Encourage Responsibility, and Spirit Whisperers:

tions at Orange Coast College for

week in his Family Matters segment.

Teachers Who Nourish A Child’s Spirit.

PROFESSOR BARBARA BULLARD, M.A.

over 48 years. In addition to winning

In addition, Thomas is the founder and director

Chick is the creator of The Parent Talk System,

of the Healing Minds Institute, a center devoted

a style of communicating with children that creates

co-author of Communication from the Inside Out,

to teaching others to focus and enhance the health

emotionally healthy family relationships. Chick

with Kat Carroll, and Remembrance: Journey to

of the mind, body, and spirit. He is president of

has also developed a training of trainers model.

Expanded Learning with Dr. Alex Bennett.

Personal Power Press, Inc. a publishing house

In order to help interested and committed

committed to providing parents and educators

adults make a difference in the lives of parents

raising two children with Attention Deficit Disorder

with practical material for raising responsible

and children in their home communities, he has

led her to become very interested in music as

children. He is available for workshops, seminars,

now trained over 400 trainers in 27 states and 5

a universal means by which her students and

student assemblies and commencement speeches.

countries who are currently certified to help spread

children could overcome their learning challenges,

Website: www.thomashaller.com

the critical Parent Talk verbal skills to parents.

numerous awards, she is the

Prof. Bullard’s work as a teacher and a parent

www.chickmoorman.com

improve their learning abilities, and heighten their performance in the educational setting. This

DR. LARA HONOS-WEBB

interest eventually led to collaboration with the

Lara Honos-Webb is a worldwide

Monroe Institute. marrying musical formats with the

ADD expert and offers ADD

binaural technology of Hemi-Sync, now known as

coaching. She is a clinical psycholo-

“Metamusic,” which has proven to be extraordinarily

gist and author of The Gift of ADHD, The Gift of ADHD Activity

helpful for the normative student as well as those with a variety of learning challenges - specifically

Book, The Gift of Adult ADD, The ADHD Workbook

ADD, ADHD, and Dyslexia.

for Teens and Listening to Depression: How

INTERNATIONAL CONTRIBUTING EDITORS AUSTRALIA DANA MRKICH

Understanding Your Pain Can Heal Your Life. DR. CATHERINE GALLANTI, MS, MA

Dana Mrkich is a writer, teacher,

Dr. Honos-Webb has published more than 25

speaker and mother focused on

Katie Gallanti qualified as Doctor of

scholarly articles, and her work has been featured

Conscious Living. She is the author

Physics, summa cum laude, at

in Newsweek, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal,

of the book A New Chapter, the

Parma University in Italy. Following

Prevention Magazine, The Chicago Tribune and

several powerful and transformative

Publisher’s Weekly, numerous newspapers and on

transformational courses, and has a regular blog

psychic and personal experiences

local and national radio and television. She is the

called Evolution Revolution.

that changed the way she perceived the world, she

editor and founder of Heal Myself magazine

left the research trenches to pursue her interest in

bit.ly/1p1142E. www.addisagift.com

metaphysics and psychology, while also teaching math to at risk teenage populations in the inner city

creator of several online

Dana lives in Sydney, Australia with her husband Christian and their son Jaxon. www.danamrkich.com

MAGGIE DENT

BOLIVIA

schools of London. Here she gained extensive

Maggie Dent is an Australian

personal experience in dealing with the challenges

author, educator, and parenting and

faced by educators, parents and children in our fast

resilience specialist with a

paced and evolving world. She also gained an

particular interest in the early years

Margaret Seleme is President and

understanding of many of the current negative

and adolescence. A high-school

Founder of the Indigo Foundation

MARGARET SELEME

trends in physical and mental health as applied to

teacher for 17 years before working as a counselor

of Bolivia, located in La Paz,

teens and children. She later went back to school

with young people and their families, in suicide

Bolivia, and the director of the

and gained an MA in Transpersonal Psychology

prevention and in palliative care.

(2009), and is currently completing her PhD in Clinical Psychology. Katie has also been actively involved in the Mind,

Maggie is the author of 7 books, including Real Kids in an Unreal World: How to Build Resilience and Self Esteem in Today’s Children, Saving

Educational Therapy Centre named “Cerebremos con el Corazón” (Cerebrating with the Heart). Margaret Seleme holds a Degree in

Body and Spirit field for over 20 years, as a healer,

Our Children from Our Chaotic World: Teach-

Architecture from University of Notre Dame, in

teacher and writer. She regularly writes for nationally

ing Children the Magic of Silence and Stillness,

Indiana, USA; a Masters Degree in Education

distributed magazines in both the UK and the USA,

and Nurturing Kids’ Hearts and Souls: Building

from Framingham State College, Boston, USA;

appears regularly as a guest on radio shows and is

Emotional, Social and Spiritual Competency to

and a Masters Degree in Neuropsychopedagogy

in the final stages of writing her first book. www.

name just a few.

from University of La Salle in Bolivia, with a

katiegallanti.com

Maggie’s website provides a wealth of

specialization in Brain Based Learning. She was

resources for parents, adolescents, teachers, and

a Kumon Instructor for 15 years and has taken a

THOMAS B. HALLER, MDiv. LMSW,

educators.

vast amount of courses on alternative and holistic

ACSW, CMFSW, DST

www.maggiedent.com

therapies. She speaks 6 languages and has travelled the world extensively.

Thomas Haller is a parenting and relationship specialist, the co-author

CHICK MOORMAN

Fundación Indigo Bolivia is a non-profit

of nine highly acclaimed books, and

Chick Moorman is a veteran

organization whose objective is to divulge the

a psychotherapist maintaining a

educator who has invested more

existence of the New Children, their nature, their

private practice (for 26 years) as a

than 50 years working with

needs and their mission. It also seeks to instruct

child, adolescent and couples therapist. He is a

children, parents, teachers, and

teachers on how to recognize and manage these

Certified Master Forensic Social Worker, an AASECT

caregivers. A prolific writer, he has

children more efficiently in their classrooms.

certified diplomate of sexuality therapy, and a

written or co-authored 14 books that deliver

Finally, Fundación Indigo Bolivia tries to explain

certified sports counselor. Thomas is also the chief

practical verbal skills to people who work with

to parents who the New Children are, in all their

www.inspiredparenting.com

Advisory Panel

denominations (Indigo, Crystal, Rainbow, etc.) but

UNITED KINGDOM

mainly the energetically sensitive children and how they should be incorporated and educated at home

BILL AYLING

and at school.

INDIA BELA KOTWANI

Kinesiology, Bill co-founded a company called Bill Ayling went straight from

Edutherapy, which helped thousands of children

studying for his Masters Degree in

diagnosed with various learning and behavioural

Economics at Swansea University to

challenges using a unique bio-resonance

working in the City of London,

Programme. In 2009, as his understanding evolved,

where he spent 17 years as a trader

Bill co-founded aCREATIVEspace with Tracy Smith,

in the Investment Banking industry. After spending

After graduating with a Bachelor

which uses a similar bio-resonance programme to

two years in Tokyo, he returned to England in 1993,

of Commerce, Ms. Bela Kotwani

help elevate people’s consciousness above the

where he and his wife Sue had a son Tom. Tom was

completed her Early Childhood

problem mindset, releasing the potential in adults as

a highly sensitive child and had a number of

Care and Education from Sadhana

well their children.

challenges. In his pursuit of solutions to Tom’s

Education Society in 1989. She has

“problems,” Bill immersed himself in the world of

also completed a Certificate Course in Learning

ling in Australia having graduated last year, and

alternative therapies and emergent thinking. Having

Disability, from Arya Vidya Mandir (Bandra W) in

Catherine, Tom’s sister, is studying drama.

trained in many protocols, mainly based upon

www.acreativespace.org

1999.

Bill still lives in Sevenoaks, Kent. Tom is travel-

Bela has 21 years of teaching and administrative experience at Arya Vidya Mandir, and has nurtured FALL 2015 VOL. 1. ISSUE 1

ADVERTISING & EDITORIAL SUBMISSIONS

joy to children. In 2012, Bela launched Cosmikids

Publisher - Judy Julin

India—a Preschool, Day Care and an After School

publisher@inspiredparentingmagazine.com

more than 2000 children in her career so far. A puppeteer for 17 years, Bela loves bringing

Activity Centre.

editor@inspiredparentingmagazine.com

RAKESH KOTWANI Rakesh Kotwani received his Bachelor of Engineering in Electronics from the University of Kolhapur in 1989, and then completed a Management Development Programme “Small and Medium Enterprises” from I.I.M Ahmedabad in 2004. As an Entrepreneur with 25 years of experience, he is a co-founder of Cosmikids. India. He oversees all aspects of business development and expansion. www.cosmikids.in

IRELAND

Art Director - Damian Keenan Nutrition Editor - Steffanie Entin Advertising Director - Deb Coyle advertising@inspiredparentingmagazine.com Online Editor - Gemma Hansen info@inspiredparentingmagazine.com INSPIRED PARENTING MAGAZINE is an international publication dedicated to inspiring parents, caregivers and mentors to assist children in achieving their full potential. Its mission is to inspire, educate, support and assist parents, caregivers and mentors by providing access to the latest research and thinking on how to enable children to fulfill their full potential as healthy, confident, resourceful, compassionate, imaginative and emotionally intelligent human beings.

ANN CALLAGHAN Ann Callaghan trained as a classical homeopath and specialized in the treatment of children in her clinic. She also taught homeopathy and was a director of the Irish School of Homeopathy. In march 1999, Ann started to make essences, which she used in her practice. She soon realized that these essences could help with all sorts of behavioral problems, including ADD and ADHD, and help families cope with stressful times. Since then she has taught workshops on indigo essences, the new children and the shift in consciousness in many countries including the Netherlands, Italy, Switzerland, the Czech Republic, Iceland, Hong Kong and Japan. Ann has also spoken at many conferences including the International Flower Essence Conference in Tokyo, and was a contributor to Lee Carroll and Jan Tober’s book The Indigo Children 10 Years Later. www.indigoessences.com.

Editor-in-Chief - Sandra Sedgbeer

Fall 2015 · Volume 1, Issue 1

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Voice of The Universal Child “I do not need you to always say Yes to me. Actually, yes or no don’t matter. What matters is how you hold me in your heart, how you see me, and your appreciation for me. ‘Cause when you appreciate me, and see through my eyes too, a yes or no will always be the right thing for both of us.”

BRU C E S C O T T , PH D — parent, psychotherapist, teacher, storyteller, and author of Free the Children

and Being Real: An Ongoing Decision. BruceScott.org