Book Club
“It’s Time to Talk (And Listen)”
- A Book Review By Ann Peltz, Resident since 2010
I
’m guilty. I’m that family member at the dinner table who avoids all conversations having to do with uncomfortable topics, especially around politics. I usually make up some excuse about how I should help clear the table or help the kids. Unfortunately, I’m not the only one. Whether it’s with coworkers, friends or family, avoiding difficult conversations is the easiest path. But it’s definitely not the most constructive. In fact, engaging in certain difficult conversations is our moral responsibility. A visit to Twitter, Facebook, and even NextDoor will show you how America is divided when it comes to politics, race, diversity, gun violence, and more. While most avoid these conversations, others do engage; however, these emotionallycharged conversations often become hurtful with each side not feeling heard or respected. It becomes a two-sided conversation. Not a two-way conversation. People talk to each other. Not with each other. In their book It’s Time to Talk (And Listen), Dr. Alicia del Prado and Dr. Anastasia Kim share the Kim Constructive Conversation Model, a step-by-step guide to have conversations about culture and
diversity. What is so compelling about this model is that it not only addresses the external processes like the words we use or how we engage in a dialogue, but it also teaches one to reflect on internal processes like our own personalities, goals, and values. When I think about the debates or conversations in which I’ve participated, my goal was to work through a misunderstanding or even to prove someone else was wrong and I was right. This model forces us to reject that notion. Instead, we must be deliberate in our intentions and open to the idea that we will be transformed by these conversations. The ultimate goal is to promote progress and healing. Dr. del Prado and Dr. Kim did a beautiful job writing this book; it’s easy to read and very practical. The authors offer their own experiences and relatable, hypothetical situations to guide the reader through each step. Additionally, they included sections titled “Your Turn” so the reader can actively participate, reflect, and set intentions for constructive conversations in the future.
This book could not be more timely. In a divided nation, it gives me hope that we can all engage in constructive communication to find understanding and promote healing. While we may not always agree, we can have a thoughtful dialogue about very important issues facing our world today. To Alicia: While I’m lucky enough to call you a neighbor and friend, I am so proud and grateful you are sharing your insights and learning to build a safer, better world where we can all travel on this path to healing. Fall is here and the holidays are also quickly approaching. I will soon be at that same dinner table enjoying my turkey and wine. Only this time, I am betterprepared to engage in a constructive conversation with family and friends.
DANVILLE LIVING 27
