My E Life Magazine June July 2016 by DPI Graphic Design

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FROM THE PUBLISHER/EDITOR

Is the ongoing debate about gender conversion & public restrooms making the Word of God of non-effect?

Submit your answer today. Your response or opinion can help someone that’s dealing with the above topic.

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Choosing to stand...

ALONE

t is likely that during your life you will be challenged to stand alone in some situations. Standing alone requires courage. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather a decision based on confidence in something or someone greater than the emotion of fear. When you choose to stand alone you must count the cost, because there are times it may cost you money, time, and even family and/or friends. You must turn to God for the grace and strength to face whatever may come after your decision to stand alone. It is natural to compromise conscience and follow the social and religious fashion for the sake of gain or pleasure; it is divine to sacrifice both on the altar of truth and duty. When you are given an opportunity to stand alone for Christ’s sake, God will always provide you with courage and wisdom that you need (Psalm 23:3), one may also have to deal with persecution which is something to that you can overcome with God’s grace ( Matthew 6:11-12). It is human to Derek Miller, Publisher/Editor stand with crowds; but it is di& Michelle Miller vine to stand alone. It is manlike to follow the people, to drift with the tide; but it is God like to follow a principle. Allow god to renew your mind with the truths of HIS word which will enable you to see life with a perspective that is pleasing to him (Romans 12:2). Lastly, love the Lord with all your heart so that you become more concerned about bringing him honor than pleasing yourself and other people. Standing alone sometimes is TAKING A STAND!

WHAT CAUSES KIDS TO HATE ATTENDING CHURCH?

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PUBLISHER’S NOTES HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN RELIGION EDITORIAL MAKE MONEY FROM HOME

BUSINESS INSIGHT HEALTH ESTATE PLANNING EDUCATION

23 24 27 28 29

RELATIONSHIPS COMMUNITY E MUSIC FOOD FOR THOUGHT CHURCH DIRECTORY

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ON THE COVER: Emma Shaw Allen is a Businesswoman, Power Broker and Respected Community Leader.

BILLY GRAHAM:

My E Life Magazine

What Most Christians Don’t Understand about Satan

336-323-8091 President / Editor Derek Miller Director of Marketing Mike James

by Megan Briggs

“S

atan is not as powerful as God-but he still is a powerful spiritual force who works against God in every way he possibly can.” Billy Graham just answered a question on his website about a common misconception people have about Satan. The question reads, “I’ve heard the Bible says somewhere that Satan is actually an angel (or something like that). I thought angels are supposed to be good, but isn’t Stan supposed to be evil?” In his answer, Graham points to Satan’s uncanny ability to deceive. He’s so good at “masquerade[ing] as an angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14), as the Scripture describes, that he has deceived us into thinking there’s no reason to fear him. So good, that in fact some people have been deceived into thinking he doesn’t exist. If we don’t even recognize his existence, this gives Satan a huge open door to manipulate us and ultimately derail us from answering our callings in Christ. Graham explains that Satan “is not as powerful as God—but he still is a powerful spiritual force who works against God in every way he possibly can.” This is precisely why the Bible instructs us to use the armor of God (Ephesians chapter 6). In conclusion of his answer, Graham reminds us that despite his power and ability to deceive, Satan is a “defeated foe.” Even though he is still actively working against God and the people who are committed to serving God, Satan has been defeated by Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection. Graham’s words remind us that as believers and heirs in Christ, we can claim victory over the things of this world (1 John 5:4). That means we can claim victory over the things Satan uses in his attempts to destroy us—temptations, death and even adverse situations. Billy Graham certainly has experience answering questions like this one. As a minister with incredible reach, both in the U.S. and abroad, his words are grounded in Scripture and the understanding that comes from decades of ministry experience. 

Contributing Writers Greg Baker Donna Nealy Rotimi Oluwaseyitan Mike James Skyler Spencer Michelle Miller Layout / Graphic Design DPI Graphic Design To Advertise Call 336-323-8091 Submissions are welcomed. Please send stories and ads to info@myelifemag.com My E Life Magazine P.O. Box 13502 Greensboro, NC 27415

MY E LIFE magazine reserves the right to deny any or all advertisements that go against our standards. We are at no means connected or affiliated with any advertisements. No part of any publication may be reproduced without written permission from the authors. The opinions and articles not written by My E Life magazine staff do not necessarily represent our views.

www.myelifemag.com SAVING SOULS, MAKING DISCIPLES

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Bishop Harold Farr, Jr. and First Lady

SPONSORED BY:

New Life Faith Outreach. 3114-B Corbett Rd. Pleasant Grove, NC 27302. 336-253-2121

he gift of Salvation is 1 John 5:11-13 says, eternity with God. The "And this is the testimony: God only thing that can pay has given us eternal life, and this your way into Heaven is life is in his Son. He who has the the Blood of Christ. Son has life; he who does not have There is No amount of money that the Son of God does not have life. can keep you out of hell. I write these things to you who Once you accept God's gift, the Bibelieve in the name of the Son of ble says that you can be 100 percent God so that you may know that assured of your eternal designation. you have eternal life." Do you know for sure that you will spend eternal life with God in heaven? If not, this is a decision you don't want to put save me”. off. You don`t necessarily have to be in a church or in

the presence of a pastor, it is all done with confession from your mouth. You can do it here, and you can do it now. Simply say “Lord Jesus, I come to you now as a sinner. I do believe that you are” The Son of God” and that you rose from the dead on the third day just for me. I renounce my past life with sin and with Satin. I ask you now to come into my heart and

Congratulations! You are now a Christian (a follower of Jesus Christ) 2 Timothy 2:3 says, “You therefore must endure hardship as a Soldier of Jesus Christ.” No one said the Christian life would be easy or without challenges. God’s promises are forever established in Heaven. So even if our situations and circumstances are difficult, we must think “above the clouds” and know that God is still there.

Now therefore allow God to connect you with a Bible teaching ministry and let your light shine for Christ! 6

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Is the will of God automatic for your life? Pastor Scotty Woods scottywoodssr@gmail.com

There are many articles and books written on the subject of the will of God for your life. Some people may think that once you are saved by the grace of God that His will for your life is an automatic gift. This is not the case at all. Being saved does not mean that the word will work itself. You must develop faith in the word of God in order to understand the Lord’s intended purpose and will for your life. Next, you have to apply or work the word of God for clarity and directions pertaining to His will for you. You cannot just sit around only believing the miraculous will of God to manifest in your life. There is always something God commands you to do in the physical realm, therefore just do it. You must activate your faith in the natural realm as well as the spiritual realm. When God chose Abram as an example of obedience and faith in His word, Abram had to execute his faith by leaving his father and mother’s land to a land that God would show him that flowed with milk and honey. The will of God was for Abram to become Abraham, which means father of many nations. At that moment of God’s call to Abram, he had not sired any children; nevertheless, God changed the name Abram to Abraham, which translated means the father of many nations. The new name inducted Abra-

ham into the infamous “Hall of Faith” that we read about in Hebrews chapter 11:8-12 and according to Romans chapter 4:17-22 because he did not stagger by unbelief at the promise of God but waxed strong in faith in the Word of the Lord. One attribute for proving the will of God requires a new mindset accompanied by accepting the Lord as your personal savior. Romans 12:2 states “ do not be conformed (shaped and fashioned) to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” The will of God is characterized by two separate and providential choices of God. First, the will of God is absolute and unchangeable. The absolute and unchangeable will is God’s secret will and we come to learn about it after it happens. This is where God’s promises and His pleasures do not change Psalm 115:3 states “But our God is in the heavens: he hath done whatsoever he hath pleased”. God does reveal to us His will through a great mystery. Ephesians 1:9& 11 states “ Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself: In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being

predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will.” The second will is the changeable will of God. The changeable will of God shows up in the life story of the Prophet Jonah. The contemporary immorality lived out through the inhabitants of the city of Nineveh reached to the heights of heaven and displeased the Lord, whereby God declared He would destroy Nineveh; however, God changed His mind because the people repented from their evil doings. God has revealed his will. This revealed will includes his declaration of what is pleasing to him. One vital action you must do, as a believer in search of God’s will for your life is to wholeheartedly repent of your wrong doings and submit to the leadership of the Holy Spirit. God’s expressed pleasure for you is declared in the book of Ezekiel 33:11 “Say to them: As I live, says the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live. Turn, turn from your evil ways! For why should you die, O house of Israel?” So we gather from this scripture warning that the will of God is not an automatic gift from God but rather dependent on the faith and action of the individual believer. 

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RELIGION

What Church Leaders Need to Know About the Gender Gap in Religion

by Carrie Kintz

ew Research Forum estimates that 83.4 percent of women globally identify as being religious compared to 79.9 percent of men. So what does this mean for the church? The topic of differences between men and women when it comes to commitment to faith is not a new discussion. However, a new study released by Pew Forum shows some interesting and staggering trends when it comes to this subject. The study was conducted in the U.S. and around the world to measure how men and women differ when it comes to faith and religion. The measurements varied slightly based on the country where they were asked, but can be boiled down to the following: religious affiliation, attendance at a religious service, daily prayer and whether or not religion was important to them. In almost every country and religion, with a few exceptions, women emerged as more faithful when it comes to faith and religion around the world. They are also less likely to identify as nonreligious or “nones.” In the U.S. for instance, 60 percent of women stated that religion was more important to them, compared to 47 percent of men who took the survey. Women were also more likely to pray every day (64 percent vs. 47 percent). Even in weekly attendance of religious services, 40 percent of women attend versus 32 percent of men. These numbers may not seem staggering or even surprising. However, in an age where the conversation both in and out of the church is increasingly focused on gender gaps in the workplace and in church leadership, it is important to examine this kind of data and consider what it means for the church. As Pew notes, in the U.S. many churches have become so concerned with the lack of men in their churches that they change decor, services and worship times to draw more men

into a church. Outside of the U.S. the numbers are just as staggering. An estimated 83.4 percent of women globally identify as being religious compared to 79.9 percent of men. On the surface, the differentiation in percentage points doesn’t seem to be significant. However, the 3.5 percent gap represents an estimated 97 million women who identify as religious. So what do the numbers look like for Christians? The margins are substantial: More Christian women pray, attend church services and say that their faith is important to them than Christian men, with the average gap per question sitting around 10 percentage points. This data also corresponds with growing trends around the world of religious women becoming the most targeted group for religious persecution. Churches are consistently targeted in bombings and raids. Christian women are often kidnapped, made sex slaves, raped repeatedly and killed. The UN Population Fund estimates that gender-based violence impacts 1 in 3 women around the world. They also note that while many religious groups persecute, the intensity of violence toward Christian women comes from Muslim countries, not just in the Middle East, but in Africa and Asia as well. These stories, coupled with the newest data from Pew Research Center, signifies troubling trends ahead. For the church both in the U.S. and around the world, it is now more than just opening up opportunities for women in the church. And it is more than brainstorming creative ways to get men into church seats. It is now about finding ways to protect aid and serve those among us who are the most vulnerable and persecuted. 

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Forsyth Seafood

STORY BY

Victoria Murray

any people often feel overwhelmed, overworked, and overpaid. Well maybe not overpaid, but it worked, I got your attention. Everyone feels overwhelmed from time to time. Work, social obligations, and just everyday life can get the best of the most organized person. Believing that you have more tasks to complete than you have time to complete them can often leave you feeling frazzled, hurried, and just plain out of sorts. Here is a tip to help you work through those periods of frustration. Before panic starts to set in, make a list of everything that you need to do. Write down that report that is due for work, that reminder for making a grooming appointment for Fluffy, all of your upcoming appointments…. Everything…. When we are busy it is easy to forget to prioritize, and panic sets in. Before you know it, everything becomes urgent. By creating this list we are able to see everything that needs to be done. Not only can you quickly move through those tasks that only require a few minutes of your time, you can also see items that can either be moved to a later date, or even …..wait for it……. delegated to another person. You soon discover that things are not as bad as you thought they were. This information is nothing new. I am sure you have read it many times before… but, hey, we all need a gentle reminder from time to time. Stay tuned for other tips to help alleviate that overwhelmed feeling.

"Fresh Seafood Direct To You", that's the business premise that has given Forsyth Seafood Market & Cafe’ the recognized position as the best seafood restaurant provider in the area. Forsyth Seafood is boasted by many as the best seafood they have ever tasted anywhere! The freshness and novel flavor can be attributed to the owner's unique background. Both are from the Beaufort, North Carolina where seafood is king. Virginia Hardesty and her late husband Charlie Hardesty, started the business in 1984 by peddling shrimp from the back of a truck into the thriving fresh market and 100 seater restaurant that it is today. Since the passing of the late Charlie Hardesty the business has maintained it’s rich legacy through their daughter Ashley Hardesty who like her parents, values freshness and quality. Come taste the absolute freshness and wide variety of seafood, complemented with homemade coleslaw, hush puppies, and other great sides. From the ocean, to our market, to you..."Fresh Seafood Direct To You!” Visit us at 108 N. Martin Luther King Jr. Dr. Winston Salem, NC 27101. 336-748-0793 www.forsythseafood.com

Virtually yours, Victoria

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Passion, Purpose and Profits

ow do we go from working for a living to living for the work? It’s all about passion. Passion fueled by purpose creates genuine enthusiasm. Meriam-Webster dictionary definition for enthusiasm-“ Strong excitement about something or active interest”. The full definition “ Belief in a special revelation of the Holy Spirit” Wow! Let’s talk about the full definition “ Special revelation of the Holy Spirit” This is actually in the dictionary. When the Holy Spirit reveals your purpose and you are enthusiastic about your purpose then passion will be a by product of working on purpose and profits will follow. If you are currently working in an area that is not your passion still work with enthusiasm because it’s a part of your purpose. See purpose is everything that takes place on the journey to living in a place called destiny. Get this, once the Holy Spirit reveals your purpose and you began to work with passion and enthusiasm you will be living on purpose and enjoying your destiny. I am excited because I am called to help the Body of Christ to live well. There are different areas with my teaching and healing gift that I am employing now to help the Body of Christ to do just that. So stay tune I have some awesome information that I will share in upcoming editions and on another page in this edition about Bodies in Christ, The Art of living Well, in partnership with Esteem, A Total Transformation and ID Nutrition. Let’s keep the conversation going. Like us on facebook www.facebook.com/4riversofeden God bless and let’s all live 3 John 2!

Majority of Americans Consider Religion When Voting by Toni Ridgaway

early 70 percent of American voters take a candidate's religion into consideration before voting. According to new LifeWay research results, nearly 70 percent of American voters take a candidate’s religion into consideration before voting. Thirty percent of Americans indicated they would be less likely to vote for a candidate with strongly expressed religious convictions, and 28 percent said it wouldn’t affect their choice at all. However, 21 percent of Americans said the impact on their vote would depend on the religion of the candidate. Not surprisingly, Americans who call themselves

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“Different people get a different picture in their mind when a political candidate shares or shows their religious convictions.” Scott McConnell Director of LifeWay Research

Thirty percent of Americans indicated they would be less likely to vote for a candidate with strongly expressed religious convictions... born-again, evangelical or fundamentalist Christian are more likely to vote for a candidate expressing religious conviction compared to Americans who do not share their religious beliefs. Similarly, these Christians are more likely to select “depends on the religion” compared to those who do not identify with these beliefs. Americans who never attend a place of worship are most likely (67 percent) to say a candidate’s expression of religious conviction or activity would make them “less likely to vote for a candidate.” Only 3 percent would be more likely to vote for the candidate. “Different people get a different picture in their mind when a political candidate shares or shows their religious convictions,” said Scott McConnell, director of LifeWay Research. “While some Americans warm up to this, many don’t see it as a positive.” 

BUSINESS

Damien Gorham

Vice President & Sr. Commercial Lender

echanics and Farmers Bank, is a full service state-chartered commercial bank that was founded in 1907. Its name was inspired by the founders and customers who worked in various trades and represented different social -economic backgrounds, hence the name, “Mechanics and “Farmers.” The Bank is headence. Prior to joining the quartered in Durham, NC and Bank, he served in a loan porthas total assets of $300 Million folio manager role with a and seven branch locations in 5 large community bank located major markets within North in the Greensboro market. Carolina, including Winston The team behind M&F Bank Salem and Greensboro. Its understands the power of a ongoing success is evident broader customer base and its through its ability to continue potential to flourish. M&F operations for 109 years. This Bank plans to continue a legachievement is partly due to acy of helping people and the bank’s ability to help make communities achieve their Damien Gorham their client’s dreams come Dreams. “ As a commercial true, according to Damien Gorloan officer in the Greensboro ham, VP and Sr. Commercial Lender for M&F market, I am excited to join M & F Bank and we Bank. want to earn your business in the Greensboro/Triad In May of 2016, Mr. Gorham was named the Vice markets. Let’s see where we can go together…we President of M& F Bank and he will be located in the want your business Greensboro.” Greensboro market. Mr. Gorham’s background inIn closing, M & F Bank is a full service commercial cludes a unique combination of banking experience bank that offers checking accounts, online banking, within large-scale commercial banking operations and mobile banking, commercial loans, personal loans, community banks. He has over 19 years of banking, mortgages, and wealth management.  commercial lending and wealth management experi-

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INSIGHT Kenya Wright, Winston Salem, NC native, shares her testimony with My ELife Magazine.

Kenya Wright: Testimony From the beginning, the love and nurture of a daughter has for her mother was ripped away with no memories to hold onto from her own biological father. Through this tragic incident emptiness manifested overtime. This empty feeling was so lonely; I dismissed receiving love from others.

y name is Kenya Wright, born and raised in Winston Salem, NC. As mentioned earlier my mother was murdered by my father when I was 2 years of age. By God's grace and mercy my grandfather and later my aunt took on the responsibility of raising my siblings and I. They did the best they could with providing a stable atmosphere, such as participating in various extra curriculum activities. Through these activities I've had an opportunity to build relationships with people from the community who presented and taught me what real love is. Resulting from this I've been able to strive successfully graduating high school and later obtaining an Associate’s Degree. Despite the people who loved on me during my childhood, there seemed to still be a void missing until the birth of my son. The love and nurture that was taken from me, I am able to present to my son Ka'Mari Norwood. The void is filled and today I am proud to admit that I am gracefully continuing to give love but most importantly allowing myself to receive love with active participation as a member of The Love Church. Founder and First Lady Pastor Curtis and Shemeka Friday. Now that time has passed the journey from the beginning has resulted in a bond between a daughter and father unimaginable. Five years ago I had the pleasure of being involved in the process of my father's prison release. By doing so love and forgiveness has been birthed within me long before I knew that my testimony would be a blessing to others. What seemed to have been a lost really resulted in finding my God given purpose as I remain a work in progress.  MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ JUNE/JULY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

HEALTH

Donna Nealy Owner ESTEEM, A Total Transformation

odies in Christ is back in the Triad after being birth some 20 years ago in 1996 for the purpose of building up the Body of Christ in the area of health, healing and nutrition. One of the main areas of emphasis is weight loss and eating according to God’s original plan. Bodies in Christ offers a biblically base curriculum for the purpose of applying God’s word in this area. Now the plan is complete with the partnership with Esteem, A total Transformation and ID nutrition. Donna Nealy of Esteem is a woman of God and one of the best fitness trainers in the Triad. She is also a certified personal and fitness trainer with a heart to see God’s people healthy and fit. Donna is the only personal trainer in the Triad who offers a free customized nutritional assessment. This assessment provides a customized nutritional plan designed by 8000 clinical studies and run through an algorithm that can render 4.5 million unique outcomes. These customized individualized nutrition plans will changed how we get supplemental nutrition. You can get a free online assessment with a 10 page report on how to be at your best health at bic2015.idlife.com or you can contact Donna Nealy of Esteem, A Total Transformation at 336 345 3507 or at her studio at 304 B and C Pomona Dr. Greensboro, NC. ▲ Donna Nealy pictured with Mike James, partnering with ID Nutrition. ◄ Donna Nealy during a workout session.

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COVER STORY Emma Shaw Allen is a Businesswoman, Power Broker and Respected Community Leader.

Measurement of Success:

When You Live What You Believe By Judy Marie Willis

nsurance agency entrepreneur Emma Shaw Allen uses her power in service to her vision. It is a vision intricately shaped by her parents Mildred and Henry Shaw and the community she called home. Until recently, Allen had enjoyed a distinguished career in banking and other financial-service endeavors as an entrepreneur in Charlotte where she was a fixture in the business community. About a couple of years, ago she switched cities and professions when she moved to Winston- Salem to run a State Farm Insurance agency whose previous owner had retired. Her initial foray into banking was prompted by what she witnessed in tiny city called Laurinburg, which is near the South Carolina border. “People in my small community stayed depressed and oppressed, imprisoned and abused by insurance company scams,” Allen says. “Seeing that certainly drove my career.” She says she owes her success to her mother`s family who kept her focused and provided her and her siblings with the nurturing of a “village” that was supportive and self-sacrificing. “I saw my mother work two or three jobs at a time,” Allen says. “My success is a testament to her.” Allen attended the University of North Carolina at Charlotte and was the first in her family to graduate from college. She worked at Wachovia Corp. as a regional sales manager and at Bank of America where she was a banking center manager, consumer region executive, call center executive, and national small business center executive. She also is a former senior vice president at First Charter Bank. When she was asked to manage the call center in Charlotte, she didn`t receive it well because, according to Allen, “it felt like a demotion.” “The caliper of the employees were below par,”

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she says. “They were dead last while I was at the top of my game.” “Hector McEachern, president of The Eachern Group and one of Allen closest confidants advised Allen to accept the call-center position. Within nine months, Allen says, “The call center was No. 1 among all the call centers in the U.S.” “Stories like that make me very proud,” she says. “Hector helped center me in what is right and stressed the importance of having integrity,” she says. “When you meet him…you know that you are in the presence of a man of God.” According to McEarnern, Allen embodies the attributes of an insightful leader. She understands who she is and accepts her responsibility to contribute to the growth and development of people around her while leading a successful career. Emma is one of the few people to master that – she balances head and heart –when you have insight about yourself, you can apply it to whatever situation you`re in, “ he adds. “My greatest desire is that she experience significance,” Businesswoman and Power Broker In 1999 Allen founded “Emma Allen Enterprise “, a financial literacy and advisory firm, and serves as its chief executive. She occasionally writes financial columns and is a former financial commentator for Bankrate.com. But don`t be misled by her spirited personality. Allen is a practical, methodical businesswoman and power broker with an enduring level of vigor and vitality. Though she had not worked in insurance, Allen says running an insurance agency was tantamount to what she`d been doing as a banker since 1984. “I`ve managed call centers - where it`s about money,” she says. “State Farm allows me to do both under one umbrella, with a great company. Insurance professionals like me are responsible for being the gatekeepers. Our agency exists exclusively to enhance the lives of our customers and the community at-large.” Allen encourages parents to include their children in conversations about money and finance at an early age – similar to the children of the wealthy and privileged, she says, who usually receive their first lessons on finance at the dinner table. “A nine-year old girl stood up in one of my workshops and asked such intelligent questions that afterward I connected with her. I helped her build a positive relationship with money and she was able to save $300.00,” she says. “I love when younger people ask me for my advice. Creating those kinds of relationships mean a lot to me.” Both of Emma’s daughters are graduates of Winston-Salem State University – the elder earned a degree in biology and chemistry and the younger one graduated with a degree in nursing in 2014. When her family found itself in serious debt, she had the opportunity to practice what she preaches. “We made a list of all of our spending and put ourselves on a plan,” she says. “We decided to maintain a bigger plan and as a result eliminated all our debt in 18 months. All of our children`s student loans have been paid. “ We gave our two daughters the knowledge they needed to be financially literate,” she adds. “I`m proud that I`ve done that for my own family and for others.” People want to know that you traveled the path and came out on the other side. It makes you more human, more accessible.” She`s a global resource with the aptitude to excel across ethnicity and gender- Les Brown A Respected Community Leader A respected community leader and a member of Delta Sigma Theta sorority, Allen serves on the board of the Afro American Cultural Center and the city of Charlotte Planning Commission, where she works closely with City Council David L. Howard. “I`ve known Emma Allen for almost nine years but I`ve known of her longer,” Howard says. “My first knowledge of her came through watching her activities in the community. I served with her on the Charlotte Planning Committee and was surprised that someone so knowledgeable could benefit from what I had to offer. Emma is one of my go-to-people.” Allen was recently appointed to the Winston-Salem and Women`s Business Advisory Committee. Her introduction to politics came at the behest of Kelly M. Alexander, Jr., a member of the N.C. House of Representatives and a former UNC Charlotte CONTINUED ON PAGE 18 MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ JUNE/JULY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

professor who became one of her mentors. “Kelly advised me to apple for the Charlotte Planning Committee and while I initially wasn`t interested I knew that when someone you respect makes a request of you, you must do it simply because they ask.” Allen says. “My involvement connected me in a real way and helped me gain awareness of what occurs in communities of color. Through this experience, I`ve been able to create opportunities that go far beyond what was possible before,” says Alexander. “ Emma is a very sharp individual. Her facility with numbers allowed her to put things together and help people see where the dots connect. She has the ability to perceive how doing one thing can segue into doing something else – an ability that`s not easy for many to comprehend. “My hope is that in the future she will consider running for elected office and taking what she has mastered into the political realm,” he adds. Allen identifies with greatness beyond her own; nurturing the gifts in others, and listing carefully for the right action to take and the best advice to dispense. She never accepts anything less than the best from herself or others, and under her watchful eye, the lives of those she works with and mentors have taken on new meaning. Senator Joel D. M. Ford , D-Mecklenburg, calls Allen “one of the most intelligent and passionate women that I have come in contact with. “She is the type of person that if you`re not working with her then you want to work to work for her,” he says. “She mastered the fine art of maneuvering within the rules to assist our community and her capacity to do so is nothing short of a work of art. If you can get it to her, you can get it through her.” Allen is a former member of Les Brown`s Speakers` Network and counts the international recognized orator as one of her heroes. “Emma brings out the best in people, inspiring them to have and hold a large vision for themselves,” Brown told Black Business Ink in an interview. “She has the capacity to help people achieve beyond their wildest dreams. The one thing she does best is challenge people to be flexible and versatile- because you either expand or you become expandable. She`s a global resource with the aptitude to excel across ethnicity and gender. I`ve learned a great deal from her.” Despite a rolodex filled with America`s Who`s Who, Allen says she is often motivated by everyday people. “There`s a man who sells newspapers near my office; he`s out there every day,” she says. “I introduced myself to him and he told me he was living in a shelter and sometimes he doesn`t want to come out but he does because people tell him that he`s an inspiration to them. That day I made a new friend, someone that I admire and am inspired by.” Emma Allen State Farm Insurance Agency 4680 Brownsboro Rd, Suite D Winston-Salem, NC 27106 (336) 759-0205

COVER STORY

It was an Easter Sunday profile ideas of love, mercy, and grace. that sparked the controversy. FeaNot only consistent but necessary tured on CBS Sunday Morning, Joel when those virtues of God are reOsteen, pastor of Lakewood Church jected. in Houston, TX, told reporter Tracy In some ways, the fairest underSmith why he won’t preach about standing of the afterlife is the hell. Christian one, which says God “[People] already feel guilty gives you what you want. If you enough. They’re not doing what want to live with God forever, they should, raising their kids—we that’s heaven, and you get it. If you can all find reasons. So I want them want to be your own person, your to come to Lakewood or our meetown savior, your own lord, that’s ings and be lifted up, to say, ‘You hell, and you get that – and you know what? I may not be perfect, stay wanting it; you do not sudPastor Joel Osteen but I’m moving forward. I’m doing denly change your mind. – Tim better.’ And I think that motivates Keller you to do better.” There is no doubt that God is love and that he It’s not particularly surprising that Osteen, famous for desires for us to know him, to walk with him and be in his self-help pep talk, wouldn’t preach what he calls union with him. Jesus, in his high priestly prayer in “fire and brimstone.” His messages frequently focus on John 17, says that eternal life is to know the one true the power of positivity and ceasing negative self-talk. God and Jesus himself who was sent by God. There is He’s sold millions of books preaching a gospel that verse after verse about the mercy of God exhibited wants to make you happier and healthier while avoiding through the sending of Jesus to this earth to give sinmeatier subjects, like hell. ners, the lost – us, the chance to be saved. However, hell is an integral part of the gospel of JeAnd ultimately, that is what the preaching of hell sus. Jesus frequently talked about hell in many contexts. integrated into the preaching of the fullness of the gosHe condemned cities like Chorazin and Capernaum to pel is intended to do and why Osteen’s comments are so hell for not believing in the miracles he did for them. alarming. The Scriptures not only paint a bigger picture Jesus also paints a picture of what heaven and hell are of who God is but remind us of what we are and why like in his story of Lazarus and the rich man, with the we so desperately need a Savior and a Lord. Heaven is rich man in Hades looking for water while Lazarus rests a promise to those who have come into the gospel of in the arms of Abraham. Jesus, who have loved Him, walked with Him and been He also addresses the issue of hell in Matthew 25 as obedient to His commands. Hell is the reminder that the place where those who didn’t minister to the least of God is justified to send us there if we have refused to the world as Jesus. He describes it as a place of eternal repent, refusing the gracious gift of salvation through punishment. In Matthew 22, in the parable of the wedfaith in Christ. ding supper, Jesus says that those without a wedding As pastors and leaders in the church, we cannot fail garment are cast into outer darkness sand where people to include hell alongside other doctrines such as sanctiweep and gnash their teeth. fication, justification, repentance, and right relationship Ultimately, Jesus says in Matthew 10:28 that we and intimacy with Jesus. If we do so, we not only do a should not fear those who can kill our bodies, but fear disservice to those that God has entrusted to us, but to he who can cast both body and soul into hell, a sobering our own calling as well. truth that should evoke reverent fear of the Triune God. God has entrusted us with his word, gospel and peoHell is an uncomfortable subject. People often say ple. We must not shy away from preaching the full that a loving God couldn’t send people to hell. That the counsel of God, presenting people with the fullness of idea of hell is inconsistent with love, mercy, and grace. who Jesus is in light of who and what we are and that As Tim Keller says, hell is actually consistent with the without him, the wages of our sin is death.  MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ JUNE/JULY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

ESTATE PLANNING

Debra Ragin Jessup Estate Planning Attorney

hether you were a Prince fan or not, the fact that he died without a Will is really shocking, well, maybe shocking only to Estate Planning Attorneys. Now that he has passed away, we are finding out more and more about his “giving heart.” A recent article described him as a “secret philanthropist” telling us that his cause was “humanity.”* He donated to the Green for All organization which creates green jobs in disadvantaged communities and YesWeCode, an organization that educates urban youth about technology, he worked to raise awareness for movements for Black Lives Matter and sent money to the family of Trayvon Martin. With an estate valued at over $300 million dollars, an Estate plan could have continued his philanthropy for many years to come. Without one, his estate will be tied up for decades and none of the plans he had to help others will be realized. What should he have done? Well, certainly, he could have created a Trust to fund these projects that were clearly near and dear to his heart. Maybe he didn’t expect to die so suddenly, but then, no one does. Even though most of us don’t have $300 million dollars, it is still just as important to have an Estate Plan. Here are 4 things you need to do today. Plan For Your Death - Everyone needs a Will or a Trust to make sure that their assets are transferred properly and in accordance with your wishes and your family’s needs. You need to give this some thought, more families than you think fall apart

after the death of a loved one because they can’t agree on how to divide the property. Tell Someone! – Sit down with your family members and let them know that you have a Will or a Trust. Discuss your wishes with them. This is a hard conversation to have, but it makes it even harder on your loved ones when you never have the conversation. And….don‘t forget to tell them where the documents are located! We can’t follow your instructions if we can’t find the Will or the Trust. Review your Beneficiary Designation Forms – Make sure the persons named on your life insurance policies, retirement account and bank accounts are the still the individuals that you want to receive those assets when you die. In some cases, you need to make sure the individual is still alive….you have no idea what a nightmare it causes when the beneficiary has passed away! DO IT NOW! – We all procrastinate. I guess it is human nature to put off things that make us sad or uncomfortable. Don’t think about that aspect of Estate Planning. Think about it as an act of love, a gift for the ones you love. In life, you did everything you could to protect your family. It is important to do it in death too. Prince will be remembered for his amazing musical genius, but his legacy may very well end there. It doesn’t matter whether you were a fan or not, there’s lesson to be learned from his death. Let that be part of his legacy, that his death inspired you to create an Estate plan, so your plans for your loved ones won’t fail. 

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Q – How do I develop an effective prayer life? A – I taught a Bible Study lesson once entitled, “Prayer 101; You Can’t Live Without It.” Matthew 6:6 is a great place to reference for prayer “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closest, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.” An effective prayer life should begin with “Lord, teach us to pray.” Luke 11:1. There are five components to an effective prayer: 1.) REVERENCE, Matthew 6:9; 2.) RELEASE, Matthew 6:10; 3.) REQUEST, Matthew 6:11; 4.) REPENTANCE, Matthew 6:12; and 5.) REALIGNMENT, Matthew 6:13. Our prayers should end the same way our prayers start: praising God! Regardless of how the prayer is answered, a maturing believer knows that the foundation of prayer is the greatness of God and surrender to His Kingdom. We don’t pray to push our agenda on God but to surrender to His. Finally, if we are going to walk in faith, we must pray in faith. Effective praying and real faith is when we release EVERYTHING to God! Q – Help, I’ve been hurt in my church, how do I overcome this? A – REAL TALK! Church hurt I believe is one the greatest pain an individual could ever experience. Primarily, because we expect a little more from the church than anywhere else. It is very disappointing to be a part of something you love and get hurt at the same time. However, we must remember first and foremost, it’s not about us! It’s all about Jesus! Most of the time we take things in church, too personal, when this is God’s house,

God’s business, and God’s people. We should never allow ourselves to become more attached to the church building and the church people that be miss Jesus. Jesus is the main attraction, remember “And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me.” John 12:32. In order to properly overcome hurt as it relates to the church, you must put things in to right perspective and move forward. If you are about your Father’s business and doing the will of God, if you are lifting the savior up, and if you are a child of God, then you must further remember “...Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” Matthew 25:40. Also, remember “...Touch not my anointed ones, do my prophets no harm!” In short, give the hurt over to the one who can heal all hurt and remove all pain. Then you make a sound decision to forgive, forget and keep serving the Lord in your church. NOTE: You do not have to leave your church, just remain faithful, humble and obedient. “...Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord.” Exodus 14:13. “Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10. 

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EDUCATION

What Causes Kids to Hate Attending Church?

Dale Hudson gives his quick list of what will make a child bored, disgruntled or irritated in a kidmin class.

• Lessons that are not age-appropriate. • Sssshhhhhh! Sit still and be quiet! • Long services. • Lessons that are not relevant to their lives. • Teachers who do all the talking in class. • When no one knows them personally. • Music that is too “baby-ish.” • Music from 1950. • Leaders and parents whose lives during the week don’t match their lives at church. • A church environment that feels like school, aka “Sunday School.” The last place they want to be on Sunday is where they have been all week.

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Do you agree with these? Are there any you don’t agree with? What are some other factors that can cause kids to hate church?

RELATIONSHIPS

INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE: THE BIBLE VIEW by Gregory John Monroe

ome would have us believe that the Bible speaks against interracial marriage. And they're right! It does! Right there in Deuteronomy 7: 1-6, the Israelites are told not to intermarry with the inhabitants of the nations that they will defeat. However, God's reason for telling them that is because those nations would "turn your sons away from following Me, that they may serve other gods." The Lord knew that it was the spiritual beliefs of outsiders, not necessarily their ethnicity, that would poison the minds of His followers. The Bible speaks of God ordaining marriage as between a man and a woman. That they may be of different races, in

and of itself, doesn't matter. We have the example of Moses marrying a woman of another race. And Moses' brother and sister Aaron and Miriam were punished by God for criticizing the fact that the marriage was interracial. What does matter, and is divinely approved, is that husband and wife both be believers. For all are one in Christ. That's further underscored by a New Testament admonition. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers." In other words, a Christian should not marry a non-Christian. There is nothing wrong with interracial marriage when both are believers. 

On the Other Side

Expect an Answer

Author Unknown

Author Unknown As a drought continued for what seemed an eternity, a small community of farmers was in a quandary as to what to do. Rain was important to keep their crops healthy and sustain the way of life of the townspeople. As the problem became more acute, a local pastor called a prayer meeting to ask for rain. Many people arrived. The pastor greeted most of them as they filed in. As he walked to the front of the church to officially begin the meeting he noticed most people were chatting across the aisles and socializing with friends. When he reached the front his thoughts were on quieting the attendees and starting the meeting. His eyes scanned the crowd as he asked for quiet. He noticed an eleven year-old girl sitting quietly in the front row. Her face was beaming with excitement. Next to her, poised and ready for use, was a bright red umbrella. The little girl's beauty and innocence made the pastor smile as he realized how much faith she possessed. No one else in the congregation had brought an umbrella. 

A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was leaving the room after paying a visit, and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side." Very quietly the doctor said, "I don't know." "You don't know?" the man said. "You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?" The doctor was holding the handle of the door, on the other side of which came a sound of scratching and whining. As he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear." "I know little of what is on the other side of death," the doctor continued, "but I do know one thing: I know my Master is there, and that is enough. And when the door opens, I shall pass through with no fear, but with gladness." 

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COMMUNITY

My Mom My Hero

Anita Dean “The Boss Lady”

very year The Light 1340 / 1400 103.5 and 96.3 FM: Celebrate our Mother`s. This year our Annual Mother`s Day contest was held on May 5th at The Enterprise Conference and Banquet Center- 1922 South Martin Luther King Jr. Drive- Winston Salem, NC. This year`s theme: “My Mother- My Hero”. We have celebrated our Mother`s since 2000 here at The Light. We start with a small group of listeners in our conference room, and now God has truly blessed us to invite over 150 mother`s to come celebrate with us. We had an awesome time this year with fun, fellowship and great food. The letters were touching and the winners this year were totally surprised. Everyone was a winner because every person attending received a prize.

Fifth place winner: Mother Cora Smith- Letter written by Sister Cora Bryant. Fourth place winner: Mother Shelve A Davis- Letter written by Mrs. Alonna Davis. Third place winner: Mother Bertha Godly- Letter written by Mrs. Debra Godly-Rome. Second place winner: Mother Ruby Williams- Letter written by Mrs. Judy Williams. Our Mother of the Year 2016- Mother Alice Dixon-Sims - Letter written by Shelby Owens (her son). She received a crown, flowers, plaque, gift certificates and a trip to the Bahamas. She was so happy and surprised. She is truly a WARRIER with a story of how God has truly blessed her down through the years. Thanks to all who made our event a great success again this year. To all our sponsors: Thank You and God bless. 

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COMMUNITY

Russell Funeral Home, Inc. 822 Carl Russell Ave. Winston-Salem, NC 27101 Phone: 336-722-3459 rusfhome@bellsouth.net

A TRIBUTE TO OUR BELOVED

Carl Hairston Russell Jr. A tribute for our Beloved Carl Hairston Russell Jr. “ The days of our years are threescore years and ten, and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labor and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.” Psalm 90:10 On This Day, we give thanks for a life well lived. We honor, celebrate, and recollect all that Carl Hairston Russell,Jr. gave throughout his seventy years on this side of Glory. On This Day, we recall the first son born to Carl Hairston Russell, Sr. and Florrie Marlene Sitgraves Russell on September 11, 1945 who embodied an infectious personality. Young Carl was inquisitive and mischievous by nature, always looking to learn and explore all that life could offer. He was intellectually stimulated at an early age working meticulously to complete his education first at Saint Benedict the Moor Catholic School. He continued his education and was a proud “Camel” graduate of Atkins High School Class of 1963. He would later go on to further his education at his father’s alma mater, Johnson C. Smith University, Charlotte, NC and Cincinnati College of Mortuary Science, Cincinnati, OH. Carl, Jr. was a lifelong member of Saint James AME Church. On This Day, we remember a local staple of the Winston-Salem community. Carl H. Russell, Jr., along with his family, provided a number of services to the public including an ambulance service. He was employed by the Wake Forest Baptist Health Autopsy Department for a number of years. Most notably he was an intricate part of Russell Funeral Home, Inc. where he was a master embalmer and made it his duty and a priority to serve all families with dignity and respect during their time of bereave-

ment. If you really knew Carl, Jr. you knew that he complimented everyone he met and he never met a stranger. Carl H. Russell, Jr. was a former member of Ionic Lodge #72,PHA, a member of the National Funeral Directors Association, the North Carolina Funeral Directors Association, and an inductee into the Atkins High School Hall of Fame. “Weep Not For Me” Weep not for me though I have gone into the gentle night. Grieve if you will, but not for long Upon my soul’s sweet flight. There is no need for tears. I am at peace, my soul is at rest There is no pain, I suffer not, For with your love I was so blessed. I am in a place of comfort The fear now is gone. Put those things out of your thoughts, For in your memory I live on. Remember not my fight for breath. Remember not the strife. Please do not dwell upon my death. But celebrate my life.

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Slow Down

love Christian music that really affects my heart tenderly to praise and worship God, and sometimes with uncontrollable tears of healing. What I didn't know was that some people have been anointed by God for that specific purpose to bring healing with their music and song. One such women said that different music she plays with her violin heals different parts of the body such as Amazing Grace heals bones. I bought a couple of CD's that promised healing and that the healing comes straight from the Throne room of Heaven. At first I was very disappointed, until I learnt that these CD's was teaching me to be still before God, something I find very hard to do. I am very restless kind of person and for years I have tried off and on to sit still before God, and do nothing and just let God do His work, and I always give up. I am glad I have found something that works for me 'music!' When I started to listen to the CD's and be still, I started to feel much closer to God and was able to feel confident that this was the way to go. If we slowdown that is when we give God the chance to work on us. If we stop looking at ourselves and look at God that is when things happen. I have practiced prayer for

By Sue Darling Psalms 46:10 -

'Be still know that I am God,'

years and God has given many blessings because of this. I believe prayer is something like food. We need a variety of different kinds of food to stay healthy for example we cannot live on Cabbage alone because we will be sure to get sick. From my experience we need all different types of prayers to grow in Christ. For example we need time to recite prayer, those kind of prayers help when you do not have anything to say to God, there are times when we should meditate on the bible or something that God has put into our heads. Other times we pray using our own words. And the silent prayer, which I always had problems with. 'Be still and know I am God' prayers I think are the hardest because we like to be doing things for God. We feel in control. The silent prayer we may feel like we are wasting time but actually that is when God is working on us and we get filled up with His presence. If you have problems being still before God, how about trying music and really listen to it don't let your mind wander on other things that are not of God. It requires a lot of discipline but I know we can grow a lot quicker by doing this. Let God work on you by being still before Him. 

Top 10 Hot Gospel Songs 02 Put a Praise on It Tasha Cobb featuring Kierra Sheard

03 123 Victory

01 Wanna Be Happy? Kirk Franklin

06 Made a Way Travis Greene

07 I’m Yours Casey J

Kirk Franklin

04 The Anthem

08 You’re Bigger Jekalyn Carr

Todd Dulaney

05 Worth Anthony Brown & group therAPy

09 Be Like Jesus Deitrick Haddon

10 Better Hezekiah Walker

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Spiritual Dr. Antwain Tate Goode

here`s a lot of false people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you`re not one of them. Pretty words aren`t always true and true words aren`t always pretty.

One of the greatest mistakes you can make in a relationship is to confuse a real person with the image you`ve created in your mind. Keep your head up. God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers. The happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you cannot change.

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CHURCH DIRECTORY

Looking for a place to worship? Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. Hebrews 10:25 LIST YOUR CHURCH IN OUR CHURCH DIRECTORY 336-323-8091 FOR DETAILS CONCORD, NC

GREENSBORO, NC

HIGH POINT, NC

New Life Baptist Church 1281 Biscayne Dr. Concord, NC 28027 (704) 782-6215

Bethel AME Church 518 Spur Rd, Greensboro, NC 27406 (336) 674-8431

Oak Grove AME Zion Church 300 Lawrence St, Greensboro, NC 27406 (336) 274-3166

Life Changing International Church 1217 E. Green Dr. High Point, NC 27260 (336) 882-1611

New Birth Sounds of Thunder Christian Center 2300 South Elm Eugene Street Greensboro, NC 27406 (336) 324-7902

St Philip A M E Zion Church 1330 Ashe St, Greensboro, NC 27406 (336) 272-1301

Williams Memorial CME Church 3400 Triangle Lake Road High Point, NC 27260 (336) 883-7330

HIGH POINT, NC

WINSTON-SALEM, NC

Calvary Baptist Church 808 Hilltop St, High Point, NC 27260 (336) 889-6441

Emmanuel Baptist Church 1075 Shalimar Dr, Winston Salem, NC 27107 (336) 788-7023

Bethania AME Zion 1705 Bethania Rural Hall Rd, Winston Salem, NC 27106 (336) 924-1706

Friendship Baptist Church 715 W Willis Ave, High Point, NC 27260 (336) 882-9429

Gospel Light Baptist Church 890 Walkertown Guthrie Rd, Winston Salem, NC 27101 (336) 722-9700

New Jerusalem Missionary Baptist 1705 1212 N Dunleith Ave, Winston-Salem, NC 27101 (336) 723-9743

YOUR CHURCH COULD BE HERE!

Greater New Hope Baptist Church 906 Meredith St, High Point, NC 27260 (336) 887-6877 New Horizons Baptist Church 622 N. Hamilton Street High Point, NC 27260

GET RESULTS! ADVERTISE TODAY 336.323.8091

Greater Faith Missionary Baptist Church 1354 N Trade St, Winston Salem, NC 27105 (336) 727-8844 Mount Zion Baptist Church 950 File St, Winston Salem, NC 27101 (336) 727-0117 Greater Praise Delivery at Quality Inn Suites 2008 Hawthorne Road Winston Salemn NC

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