My Elife Magazine August-September 2015 by DPI Graphic Design

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FROM THE EDITOR/PUBLISHER

God Speaks by Pam Ford Davis If we are attentive, we can hear God’s voice. He sometimes speaks softly. “And he said , Go forth , and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out , and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said , What doest thou here, Elijah (1 Kings 19:11-13 KJV).” ABOUT PAM FORD: I enjoy writing both fiction and non-fiction. Devotions are my first love! FORGET-ME-NOT DEVOTIONAL: http://ebooks.faithwriters.com/ ebook-details.php?id=520 Yankee who married a Rebel and living happily ever after... Happiness is: Being a wife, mother and granny, bargain shopping for old hymnals, tea pots and oldies music for my collections and traveling. I once worked as an on air personality in both radio and television. Writing is now my ministry and joy!

Special Recognition (Anonymous message) Behind every great man there's a great woman. I will borrow the words that former football quarterback Meryll Frost made back in 1945. He said, “'They say behind every great man there's a woman. While I'm not a great man, there's a great woman behind me.'" The person reading this anonymous recognition will know who it is meant for once she reads this message...and better yet, she’ll know who wrote this message! Be Blessed!

ave you ever found yourself shedding a tear “out of the blue” and asking yourself why am I crying? Many people are in need of an emotional healing/deliverance and don’t even realize it. Some of this hurt may stem from childhood or just from never confrontDerek Miller, Editor & Michelle Miller ing an issue and getting to the root of it, and over time the person that is “holding it” becomes bitter and angry. Past hurts that are never dealt with can overtake your life as well as change you as a person for the bad unfortunately. Emotional walls are built in/around your life while carrying this hurt. Some intentional and some are not. It is time to let it go, and with God’s help it is possible. God said he will create in you a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within you (Psalm 51:10). We must lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us (Hebrews 12:1). It’s time to stop giving LIFE to those DEAD hurtful things of your past. It doesn’t matter the type of hurt (bad marriage, betrayal, family, fake friends etc…). When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all of his bones; not one of them are broken. His grace is sufficient for you; his power is made perfect in weak times. It’s time to free you today! ■

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My E Life Magazine AUG/SEPT 2015

336-323-8091 President / Editor Derek Miller Director of Marketing Mike James Contributing Writers Greg Baker Donna Nealy Rotimi Oluwaseyitan Mike James Skyler Spencer Michelle Miller Layout / Graphic Design DPI Graphic Design To Advertise Call 336-323-8091 Submissions are welcomed. Please send stories and ads to info@myelifemag.com My E Life Magazine P.O. Box 13502 Greensboro, NC 27415

MY E LIFE magazine reserves the right to deny any or all advertisements that go against our standards. We are at no means connected or affiliated with any advertisements. No part of any publication may be reproduced without written permission from the authors. The opinions and articles not written by My E Life magazine staff do not necessarily represent our views.

www.myelifemag.com SAVING SOULS, MAKING DISCIPLES

03 PUBLISHER’S NOTES 05 CHRISTIAN INSIGHT: THE PRODIGAL SON AND THE POISON IVY

HOW TO BECOME A CHRISTIAN

07 CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE: CAN I MESS UP GOD’S WILL FOR MY LIFE? 09 IS YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE WORKING FOR YOU?

CHRISTIAN MUSIC DIONN OWENS & RENAISSANCE

16 COVER STORY: DEBRA JESSUP: PLANNING YOUR ESTATE IS HER PASSION 18 INSPIRATIONAL: 7 REASONS WHY ANGER SHOULD GO DOWN BEFORE SUNSET

ACKNOWLEDGING EXCUSES FOR NOT SHARING THE GOSPEL

14 HEALTHY YOU: WHAT IS SELF WORTH?

31 CHRISTIAN BUSINESS

ON THE COVER: Debra Jessup, Estate Planning Attorney

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CHRISTIAN INSIGHT

by Jean V. Dickson

y father turned to me and said, “University - I can’t send you to university! You need to get a job so you can support your sister.” His words slammed into my solar plexus. I stood there with my mouth open, wheezing for wind, searching for sanity. And I thought, “This must be what the brother of the prodigal son felt like.” In that moment, I empathized with the anger of the son who stayed home. I too saw red – a river of red blood. The celebration calf slaughtered before my eyes. A reward carefully prepared for the lazy, dissolute child while I, the responsible child, got no reward. I, the good child, was supposed to work to support my sister’s sloth. I wouldn’t have been hurt by my father’s words if my sister were five years old and needed looking after. But at 29, my elder sister was more than capable of getting a job and supporting herself. However, like the prodigal son, Gail liked spending money - as long as she didn’t have to work for that money. Gail was as likely to dive into work as a cat catapult into cold water. Even with a flock of birds on the other side of that pond, it just wouldn’t happen. As far back as I could remember, Gail would yell for an hour instead of doing 15 minutes worth of work. Then, when I was a pre-teen and Gail in her twenties, she convinced my parents that she was ill - that she needed to spend each winter someplace warm, someplace expensive. One night, exulting in her victory, she boasted about how gullible mom and dad were, believing her when she pretended to be ill. As much as I hated how my sister manipulated my parents into giving her the money to go away each winter, I rejoiced whenever Gail left. Because, hell on earth was only another way to say Gail was in town. Yes, I had many good reasons to resent my sister. I hated her manipulations, her lies - the way she would try to embarrass me in front of my friends, and teachers. The way she would barge into work, refuse to leave and try to get me fired from my job. How she would take credit for my work when relatives visited. The many times she tried to make me late for important appointments. Oh, yes, I had many good reasons to hate my sister, and I thought about them constantly. I loved to dwell on all the ways she had done me wrong. She was an itch that I just loved to scratch. It was the poison ivy that brought me to my senses. When I looked at the red, itchy rash on my son’s arms and legs, I didn’t know what it was. At first, I wondered whether it might be chicken pox. But then our neighbour

pointed to a patch of soft green vegetation gently shaded by a cedar hedge. “That’s poison ivy. You don’t want to touch that. You don’t want to even walk through it. Because the poison will stick to your shoes and the next time you touch them, the poison will touch you right back.” He paused, then continued, “You should put up a ‘Keep off the grass’ sign - just until you get it under control.” Maybe it was because I had just spent an angry hour arguing over the phone with Gail. But as he said these words, I suddenly realised that I had spent 30 years carefully cultivating an emotional poison ivy patch. Each time I took out Gail’s list of sins, I walked over to the edge of my poison ivy patch. Every time I stopped to dwell on a particular injustice, I took off my shoes, rolled up my pants and waded through the ivy. Each time I exulted in my superiority, it was if I had taken off all my clothes and was rolling in the ivy, rapture radiating from my face. Afterwards I would scratch my legs raw as I sat happily contemplating another way she had done me wrong. That afternoon, I finally realized my emotional poison ivy patch was more harmful than the one outside. The only way to combat it was to apply the calamine of forgiveness. That night, as I kissed my son’s cheek, I once again thought of the prodigal son. Brushing my son’s hair from his forehead, I understood why the father killed the fatted calf when his lost son returned home. There was no doubt in my mind that I too would kill a fatted calf for my son. And for the first time, I wondered why I ever thought the son who stayed home was justified in his anger. hat night, as I stood outside my son’s bedroom door, I put a ‘Don’t Walk on the Grass’ sign in my mind, to match the one outside in our yard. ■ Jean V. Dickson is a Canadian-based entrepreneur who puts creativity's ZING into training and communications. For more information on creativity and innovation, visit www.jvdcreativity.com and www.experientialexercises.com. Put some ZING into your corporate communications at www.powerpointjoint.com. For church zing, see www.fatsheep.org and www.worshipzing.com.

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SPONSORED BY: LIFE CHANGING INTERNATIONAL CHURCH

1217 East Green Drive High Point, NC, 27260

Pastor Anthony Stephenson and First Lady Yolanda Stephenson 336-882-1611 336-882-1623

HOW TO BECOME A CHRISTIAN If God can take 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread and feed five thousand not counting women and children (Matthew 14:21), surely he can forgive and save those who ask.

aving a relationship with God takes communication. By first admitting that you are a sinner that is in need of a savior is step #1. Step #2 is asking for forgiveness of your sins. Step #3 and most important is to believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and he gave his life so that you can be brought back into right standing with God.

If you believe this in your heart, repeat these words and say Lord Jesus, I am a sinner that is in the need of a savior. I ask you now to forgive me of my past. I do believe that you are the Son of God. I thank you for paying my sin debt in full. I turn from my ways and turn to you. I ask you now to come into my heart and save me.

When the storms of life shattered me When the people around battered me I looked unto you oh Lord And found You have feathered me When the pride of life staggered me When the sins of the world tattered me I looked unto you oh Lord And found You have still anchored me When the failures of life impaired me When the words of foes sheared me I looked unto you oh Lord And found You have repaired me When the thoughts of future scared me When the insecurities of life snared me I looked unto you oh Lord 6

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CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE

Can I Mess Up God's Will For My Life? by Leah Nichols "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28 NKJV)

ver wonder whether you missed the will of God for your life? Ever ponder whether a choice you made completely altered the course of your life and you can never change the effects of that choice? Ever think that God can't really forgive you for the mistakes you made intentionally when you knew you should have listened to Him? Well, I certainly have had my share of wondering over the events and circumstances of my life - the decisions I've made, the choices I wavered over before walking in a specific direction, the relationships that changed me for the better and sometimes not-much-better. When life gets rough, we often tend to question whether our choices - especially the ones that we know were not of God's will - have led us to a place where God's promises for good do not apply to us. How can God rightly bless me when I so clearly have strayed from His perfect direction for my life? How can God possibly still have good plans for my life when I have walked my own way? Will He really never leave me nor forsake me? My sisters, God always keeps His promises, no matter what we do. If He says He's going to do something, then He does not change His mind. In II Corinthians 1:20, it says that all of His promises are a yes and an amen. What does that mean? That He says "Yes" because He wants to fulfill those promises in our lives, and if we want them, we can say "Amen" - so be it in my life. That is exciting news! The Bible is full of examples of messed-up people that

still received the promises of God over their lives, even when they walked in the complete opposite direction. Let me list a few: Abraham certainly made a mess of things when he had a son by his wife's servant after God had clearly promised him a child through his wife. Despite the consequences of his action, God did not change His mind to give Abraham the promised child. David messed up big time when he went after Bathsheba, ending up in adultery and murder. Despite the consequences of his action, God did not take away the promise to love and bless him - and Bathsheba became the mother of Solomon, the next king. Jonah went in the opposite direction that the Lord had told him to go; instead of preaching to Nineveh, he hid on a ship to Tarshish. Despite the unpleasant consequences of his action, God gave him another chance to do the very thing he knew he needed to do. As a result, the whole city was saved. I could go on and on, but for the sake of time and to make my point, I want to encourage everyone - no matter what you've done, God does not change His mind toward you. If He says that He will work everything out for the good of those who love Him - that's us - then He will certainly work everything out for the good! I know you may face difficulties and trials - many of them of your own making - but know that God will find a way to bless you. In Romans 5:8, it says that God demonstrated His love toward us - before we even knew to love Him, He loved us enough to die for us. And if He's able to do that, then your situation's a cinch! ■

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Eye Opener by Pam Ford Davis

Direct Sales Is Direct Sales a viable make money from home business or simply a pyramid scheme? Many people have been approached by family or friends to join their direct sales company. You know them, Mary Kay, Avon, 5linx, Herbal Life, etc. There are hundreds and even thousands of companies. I have personally been with a direct sales company for 3 years. It has been a great source of additional income and I have learned so much about leadership and people. I have also received a residual check every month for the pass three years. How do you make this type of business work for you and what are some of the keys to being successful? Direct sales is the perfect business for believers. It’s all about sharing your experience with a product or service and allowing the public to get the product or service directly from you. You as a distributor are paid to be a spokes person for the company. So you also create a network of spokes people for the company and now you get a percentage of all the spokes people who have started spreading the good news about your product or service because you started this in your network. It’s a lot like franchising with an added benefit. If you owned a McDonalds’ and because you told another business owner how lucrative owning a McDonalds’ can be they opened one as well and now you got a small percentage off of every burger they sold in that store. That’s true free enterprise! Most people have been taught that only big business should be able to get paid off of the efforts others. In this business you get paid to help others grow and develop their businesses. Let’s take a look at what Jesus built using this model and how. Jesus went out and recruited 12 people to begin a movement that was never seen before. People called it a scam because you didn’t have to depend on the priest (Big business) to get to God any more. He taught them how to demonstrate the Kingdom of God. They went out two by two and from the efforts of 12 people as of 2013 2.1 billion people are Christians around the world. Jesus truly is the greatest networker of all time. Two thousand years later what he built is still thriving without a middle man. If you love helping people and you are coachable and willing to learn and teach this business model this may be for you and you can be on your way to living your dreams. Next edition I will write about how to choose a company to partner with. Until next time. Reach out to me on facebook at www.facebook.com/4riversofeden ■

Do you rely on that first cuppa tea or mug of coffee as your morning eye-opener? I do not fault you for the daily habit; I do the same. Yet, I sense an extreme need to rely on the LORD as my 24-7, eye-opener. “Deal bountifully with Your servant, That I may live and keep Your word. Open my eyes, that I may see Wondrous things from Your law (Psalms 119:17-18 NKJ).”

End Time By Don In Matthew 24:10-13, Yeshua speaks about the End Times saying: “At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.” But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty.For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, … 2 Timothy 3:1–5

Like me on facebook and receive great inspiring info all week and post a comment at facebook.com/4riversofeden

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Blessings Don.

CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE

Dr. Myles Munroe was a well-known author and a Bahamian minister. One of his famous quotes is, “When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.”

his reminds me of the most recent landmark decision made by the Supreme Court concerning the Affordable Care Act (ACA). On June 25, 2015, the Supreme Court upheld the federal government’s provision of subsidized exchange coverage in the King v. Burwell case. Eighty percent (80%) of people who are enrolled in health coverage through an ACA plan receive a subsidy. This ruling in favor of the current subsidy allocation among both the federal exchange and state run exchanges will remain in place. This will allow people to continue to receive the extra help that they need to pay for their insurance coverage. Chief Justice John Roberts wrote, “Congress passed the Affordable Care Act to improve health insurance markets, not destroy them”. As consumers we must make sure that we understand as much as possible about our own plans so we can effectively utilize them. If your health insurance policy is not user friendly, then it’s imperative that you allow a certified professional agent to take a look at it and help you determine if it is the right plan for you. There are several important provisions of all health insurance policies that function as cost sharing measures which determine how a policy will work. Let’s look at one that most people are familiar withthe deductible. A deductible is a fixed amount of money that you must pay before an insurance company will pay a claim and you get any benefit from your policy. Most plans however, have services like office visits or emergency room visits that will pay a claim before you meet a deductible. These services most often have co-payments associated with them so the policyholder can get the necessary benefit immediately. Other basic terms are copayments and coinsurance. A

copay is what you pay at a routine doctor’s visit or for your medication. It’s usually a flat dollar amount you pay depending on the service you receive. This is what you pay BEFORE your deductible is met for most plans. However, coinsurance is usually what you pay AFTER the deductible has been met. Coinsurance is a percentage of the cost of the service being rendered. Most plans have coinsurance amounts that range from 10%-50% of the cost, which is the policyholder’s responsibility. For example, a trip to the emergency room may have a copayment of $100.00. Once you pay the 100.00 your visit will be covered. If you are then admitted to the hospital, your deductible of $1000.00 will be subtracted from the hospital bill of $10,000.00. You will be billed the deductible amount plus 10% of the cost which is your coinsurance. The general rule of thumb is that the higher the deductible, copayments and coinsurance, the lower the cost of the insurance because the policyholder must pay a larger portion of the cost. A healthy person taking no medication should consider a high deductible plan because the likelihood of them using the policy is small. All preventive care such as physicals, mammograms, etc. are now covered at 100% regardless of your policy type so this may work well for such a person. On the other hand, if you need to see a doctor several times a month and take brand name medications your policy decision should be considered with the total cost of care in mind. Choosing a plan that has lower deductible, copays and coinsurance may keep extra cash in your account even though the initial premium may be a little higher. In a nutshell, the more you need quality healthcare coverage to maintain your life and health, the cost will be relative to its use and necessity. Let’s make sure we use our CONTINUED ON PAGE 27

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CHRISTIAN EDUCATION

hy do people tithe to the church? The reasons are many. A study of these reasons will help us to understand the great blessing of tithing and the biblical responsibility to tithe. 1. To Honor the Creator. "Render… unto God the things that are God's" (Matthew 22:21). God owns the entire world and its substance. "The earth is the LORD"S, and the fullness thereof" (Psalm 24:1). "Behold, all souls are mine" (Ezekiel 18:4). "The silver is mine, and the gold is mine" (Haggai2:8). It is God who gives people the power to obtain wealth (Psalm 75:6-7; Ecclesiastes 5:19 2. To Acknowledge My Heritage. "And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise" (Galatians 3:29). Abraham was the first tithe payer of record(Genesis 14:20). It would be strange to claim to be a child of Abraham and yet to neglect one of Abraham's most fundamental and noteworthy acts. 3. To Fulfill the Covenant. "For if that which is done away was glorious, much more that which remaineth is glorious" (II Corinthians 3:11). If the law demanded tithes, then how much more should we who are under the "perfect law of liberty" give our tithes willingly. (See James 1:25). Some people say, "Oh, we do not pay tithes, because tithing was under the

hear without a preacher?" (Romans 10:14). law." If that is a sufficient reason for not paying tithes, then we could also mistreat our parents, for the law said, Honour thy father and thy mother" (Exodus 20:12). 4. To Show My Love. "Many waters cannot quench love" (Song of Solomon 8:7). Love is the strongest motivation in the world. David said, "Neither will I offer…unto the LORD my God of that which doth cost me nothing" (II Samuel 24:24). Someone should print a sticker that says, "If you love Jesus, pay your tithes!" 5. To Fulfill an Obligation. "Ye pay tithe…:these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone" (Matthew 23:23). Jesus did not criticize the Pharisees for paying tithes. He commended them. He said it was something they "ought" to have done. 6. To escape condemnation. "Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me… in tithes and offerings" (Malachi 3:8). How sad it is that people who are honest in business and who pay their debts to the bank, the store, and the government will not pay God what belongs to Him! 7. To Spread the Gospel. "So hath the Lord ordained that they which preach the gospel should live of the gospel" (I Corinthians 9:14). God has ordained for people to be saved by the preaching of the gospel (I Corinthians 1:21). "How shall they

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8. To Avoid a Curse. "Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me" (Malachi 3:9). Someone has said, "You can't outgive God, and you can't outsqueeze Him either." Some people put their money into "a bag with holes" (Haggai 1:6). They do not give God His tithe, but they eventually spend the money for automobile repairs, medical bills, and a thousand other things that they might have avoided if they had been faithful to God in their giving. 9. To Enjoy God's Blessing. "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse… and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. " (Malachi 3:10). (See also Luke 6:38). God blesses the people who pay tithes. He knows what we give and He notices when we give. 10. To Be Consistent. "Be thou an example of the believers" (I Timothy 4:12). How could I receive tithes and not pay tithes? I could not do so and be consistent. The Levites, who received tithes, also paid tithes on what they received (Nehemiah 10:38). Paying tithes will not save a personeveryone must be born again to be saved. But paying tithes will reap a blessing. Genuine Christian not only pay tithes, but they willingly pay tithes. ■

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4198 Cherry Street Winston-Salem, NC 27105 336-525-1LOV (1568) www.thelovecity.org

he Love Church (TLC) was established in Salem. Word spread about this new church and week after January 2011 by its Founder and Senior Pasweek the attendance grew. The services began to disrupt tor, Curtis Friday, along with his beautiful the normal business of the hotel and TLC was told they wife, Lady Shameka Friday, and five could no longer hold their services there. Without hesitafriends. The mission of the church from its tion Pastor Friday discovered an available room at The Litconception has been to see God’s people tle Theater of Winston Salem. For the next year and a half (ALL people) fulfill their God given the ministry took residence in the repotential as they come to know His will hearsal hall of the building. The church and purpose for their lives. In the living continued to grow and add new minisroom of the Friday’s home, the vision tries. The time soon came when the of what God had given Pastor Friday church was too big for the rehearsal hall was laid out to a group of friends whom and Pastor Friday had to lead the conhe called on to help bring this dream to gregation in faith into a larger facility. life. With their acceptance of the task Receiving Gods favor with the owners the group held just two more gatherings of the building, the church renovated in the home to plan and prepare for and leased an empty warehouse building ministry as well as receive the word of next to Bowman Gray Stadium in July God from Pastor Friday. They were 2012. During this time, the church exdriven with the purpose to show, panded its outreach efforts as well as its through community outreach, and teach size. And as if there was something through service and biblical study, special about an 18 month time period, Senior Pastor, Curtis Friday and about the unconditional love of God. after the short stay, the church had again wife, Lady Shameka Friday The church moved out of the home outgrown its facility. And in March of of Pastor & Lady Friday to a meeting 2014 the church took another leap of room inside of the Sundance hotel in the city of Winston faith to move into a 14,000 square foot building where they currently reside at 4198 Cherry Street in the beautiful city of Winston Salem. In their four short years of ministry, the church has grown to over 300 members and has remained true to the original mission statement to reach out and show God’s people (ALL people) the LOVE of God through biblical teaching and community outreach. Along with the awe► I AM SUPERWOMAN

ANNOUNCEMENT BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND is “I Am SUPERWOMAN” September 25th @ 7:30pm – a don’t miss event for women 17 and up. Come and hear as Pastor Curtis Friday preaches to over 400 women a word just for you. This event in the past has resulted in women giving their lives to Christ, others cleaning house spiritually and physically, and all experiencing a might move of God as they worship Him together and the expectation is even greater this year. The night includes TLC’s very own Praise Team and Praise Dancers and Special guest, The Rock Church Praise Team, from Birmingham, AL will be in the house to increase the worship and promote their new CD “Holy Fire.” Registration is free, just go to www.thelovecity.org. One blessed registrant will walk away with $500.

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INSIGHT some word that Pastor Friday teaches week after week that has caused the church to grow spiritually, physically and financially, the church continues to reach outside of its doors to bless the community. It has during several Thanksgiving holidays blessed low income communities with turkeys and food boxes numbering to over 300. During Christmas time the church has not only adopted families within and outside of the church to bless but has also made sure that every child in the congregation received a gift. Pastor Friday is always acknowledging the people within the ministry that give of their time to help ministry function in excellence and is constantly blessing with food and gas cards. The church has given an excess of $8,000 to help members and non-members alike with financial struggles such as rent and duke power assistance. And most recently during Easter this year the church shut down a local gas station for a few hours to bless the community with $5,000 in gas. On the same day the church also blessed a deserving single mom and faithful member of the congregation with a Suzuki Crossover vehicle. Pastor Friday has pushed to instill into the members of the church a motto that he has adopted from his Pastor, Dr. R. A. Vernon of The Word Church in Cleveland/Akron Ohio, that “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” The Love Church is determined to be a ministry that looks like God. The word says “For God so LOVED the world that He GAVE…” And as they adopt that word as their foundational scripture and love on people with a giving heart, they believe that they fulfill the great commission and thereby bring Matthew 25 (3540) ALIVE! ■

Yelling at Children May Be More Harmful Than You Think by Minnie Hawkins

e hear it in homes, grocery stores, and in school hallways. Sometimes we even hear it in churches. What is this spectacle? It's yelling at children! Is it necessary? Is it an effective form of discipline or is it damaging to children? Research shows that yelling is one of the most harmful actions adults can do to children. Consider adult-to-adult behavior for a moment. When one grownup makes a request of another grownup and he does not comply, does yelling bring about obedience? Not only does it not stimulate conformity, but it actually sets up an attitude of resistance. Children respond the same way and here are several negative effects of constant exposure to yelling. First, yelling at children attacks their humanity and self-esteems, the beliefs and feelings they have about themselves. Children need all the help they can get to maintain healthy self-esteems. Those who develop low confidences have trouble handling anxiety and finding solutions to common problems. They are easily frustrated, passive, withdrawn, and often suffer from depression. Since children's brains are still developing, it is hard for them to put labels on what they feel. They just know they hurt. On the other hand, children with healthy self-images handle conflicts well, resist negative pressures, smile a lot, and have optimistic outlooks on life. Second, yelling desensitizes children to normal voice levels. Children should be expected to respond to conversational tones. However, when yelling is what they normally hear, commands, requests, questions, and the like, spoken in casual levels blend in with common environmental sounds. Many children have auditory processing deficiencies and sounds are distorted to them. Yelling makes processing even more difficult because the muffled sounds are loud and the children's brains do not know what to do with them. Incidentally, to communicate effectively with a child who is desensitized to a normal voice level by being yelled at, get in close contact. Tap him on the shoulder to establish eye contact. Then speak into his right ear in a conversational level voice, state the request, and ask the child to repeat it. If he cannot do so, restate the request and ask him again to repeat it back. If he can repeat it, wait until he complies. Third, yelling sets a harmful model for the way children interact with other children and adults, including authority figures. When children display the learned, yelling behavior, it puts them in difficult situations that can result in social isolation as well as receiving disciplinary actions. Children become confused as to why they are punished for showing the same behavior modeled by adults. ► SEE “YELLING AT CHILDREN” ON PAGE 15

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HEALTHY YOU!

By Minister Donna Nealy, MS CFT CNC ESI

n the last two articles we discussed selfworth. But in this article I want us to look at the word “selfish “or “selfishness”. I know this is an odd subject but one that warrants discussion. The definition of selfishness is being concerned, sometimes excessively or exclusively, for oneself or one’s own advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others. You might say what does selfishness have to do with your health? If you really look at the whole scheme of things you would see that it has everything to do with your health. Just think of how many people depend and rely on you daily. Your spouse, children, parents, family, church, co-workers, job, friends and all the people that are in need of your God given purpose here on earth. This means in order to make it to your destiny without a hitch you have to be in what the older generation would say “a reasonable amount of health and strength”. I am going to take it even further. Why can’t we thank God for excellent health? We seem to be so satisfied with just enough, rather than having all God promised. The last time I checked Philippians 4:19 says “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus”. And I do believe excellent

health is a need and a necessity. That verse isn’t just about money and material things. But it is about us being prosperous. Whether you believe it or not your health is your wealth. So how are we being selfish? When we choose not to exercise and a poor diet not pleasing unto God we choose existence instead of life. We make the choice to be in poor health and make our love ones suffer by not being able to travel without pain, allow chronic disease to take control of our every movement and most of all become a burden on those closest to us. The way I see it, being in poor health does not show our love for those that love us. When you choose to stop being selfish you will start the process of changing your lifestyle and journey towards excellent, optimal health. God has already provided the instructions and in obedience we should want to follow His plan. Until next time, think on these things… “Coach D” Minister Donna Nealy, MS CFT CNC ESI ESTEEM, A Total Transformation 336-345-3507 www.esteem-att.com

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Yelling at Children ◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 13

The last negative effect of yelling at children is that it challenges or destroys their sense of safety. Children have an inherent right to feel that there are emotional and physical places where they can go and harm will not follow them. When children do not feel safe, they perceive they have no power over what happens to them. Many times they cannot put words to what they feel. Some sources take a position that constantly yelling at children is mental child abuse and is as toxic as physical child abuse. Often times, the sting of words and tones last a lifetime. Abuse that occurs during early child development can cause the child to grow into an adult with self-destructive behavior and abusive traits. It is well documented that without effective intervention, children who are abused go on to become abusers. One more critical factor that research shows is that adults who constantly yell as a form of discipline oftentimes feel bad about it but do not have effective skills they can use. They are overwhelmed. Even the most patient adult can reach a limit and occasionally raise the decibel of the voice. This behavior must not become commonplace. It is far more effective when working with children to have a standard of raising the voice when it is a matter of safety and adults need children's immediate attention and action. When grownups yell, "Stop," "Come back," or "Put that down," for example, children will know a critical situation exists maybe even a matter of life or death. Adults who yell as a method of discipline must consider the harm it does and actively seek effective, non-threatening parenting skills. They should not let pride keep them from getting professional help. Many parenting classes are free and readily available. The destiny of our country depends on producing healthy children who have bright outlooks on life. Each grownup is obligated to do what is necessary to influence them in a positive manner. That means being equipped with effective discipline tools. Yelling is not one of them. ■

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COVER STORY

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ebra Jessup is an Estate Planning attorney with Jessup & Probst Attorneys in Winston-Salem. She established her Estate Planning practice with a focus on one basic principle ---helping people create a plan that protects their families both now and in the future. Debra is passionate about educating people about estate planning. She understands that ultimately, everything you do is about your family. She is committed, through customized strategic planning, to help you preserve your estate, pass your legacy to your children and ensure that they are always cared for and protected. Debra is a Wake Forest University Law school graduate and practiced law for approximately ten years before taking a position at Wake Forest teaching Business Law in the Calloway School of Business. Debra moved with her family to Florida in 2007 and then back to North Carolina in 2011. Finding herself with an empty nest, she decided to go back to practicing law with her former partner, Bob Probst. This time around, she really thought about what area of law she wanted to practice and chose Estate Planning. The topic is sensitive, no one wants to talk about dying and no one wants to plan for it. Debra frequently tells her clients, I understand this is hard, so let

me think about, let me develop the plan that will protect your family if you can’t do it yourself. Debra helps families address the unique issues that confront families, whether single, married or blended. She takes the time to understand your family and your goals so that she can design a plan that meets your needs. For Debra, it is not just about drafting a legal document that works for the moment. It is about developing a relationship with each client that will allow her to use her skills and knowledge to create the future that her clients envision for themselves and their children. It is about maintaining that relationship over time so that as life changes and your family grows, your goals are still achieved and your children are still protected. Debra has 3 children, 2 grandchildren and 35 nieces and nephews. She has the unique insights of a practicing lawyer, former professor and full time mother. As a member of a large, close knit family she realizes how important it is for parents to take action now to preserve their assets and protect their legacy. She has designed her entire practice so that she can help parents from all economic backgrounds make that a reality. Debra believes that good Estate Planning will ultimately give you peace of mind in knowing that your precious family will be cared when you can no longer do it yourself. ■

Debra Ragin Jessup Phone: (336) 721-9090 www.jessupprobstlaw.com Email: debra@jessupprobstlaw.com

The Talk You Need to Have With Your Parents

hen you were a kid, your parents dreaded the talk they had to have with you. You know the one. Well, now that you are an adult, there’s a talk you need to have with your parents that is likely to be just as squirm-worthy – which is why so many of us put it off. It’s about money. Specifically, your parent’s money. The money that may become yours one day. Or may not. Whether you or your parents think it’s none of your business, it is. You are most likely the one(s) who will need to deal with all the financial issues your parents leave behind when they become incapacitated or after they die. Not knowing anything about their finances will place you at an immediate disadvantage, making what will be a hard job almost impossible. So how do you get the conversation started? Here are some tips from a recent New York Times column on the subject: Think about what you need to know. You need to know more than where to find the will, you need to know if parents have executed powers of attorney, advance health care directives or a trust as well. You need to know if they have life insurance or other assets and, if so, where the policy is located. You need to know if they keep a list of all their debts and, if they bank and pay bills online, you need their log-in information for each account. CONTINUED ON PAGE 26

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THE HONOREES

t is my esteemed privilege to greet each of you on behalf of the Victorious In Battle (VIB) Family. With great joy and pride I would like to introduce to the TRIAD Community the 2015 Victorious In Battle Honorees. They have fed the hungry, sheltered the homeless, inspired the low in spirit, enriched their communities, mentored the you, and much more..... The first North Carolina event was held July 17, 2015 at the Commons On The Green, 200 Country Club Blvd. Lexington, NC 27292 at 6:00pm. This was a highly publicized and anticipated event with over 200 in attendance. The seven honorees received award presentations from Mr. Mike Fenley, NW Regional Representative for US Senator Richard Burr, US Senator Tom Tillis, and NC Governor Pat McCrory Offices. The VIB family believes that true leaders are enrichment agents of their communities through servitude. While warriors in battle have their chariots, community activist now have VIB- Victorious In Battle! They are triumphant because they know that their victories come from a higher power. What would our communities look like, if they were absent of these strong

Rev. Bernard Adams Salem Baptist Church Lexington, NC

Anita Dean-Arnette The Light Christian Talk Radio Winston Salem, NC

Rev. John Cade Files Chapel Baptist Church Lexington, NC

Left to Right in photo (Rev. John Cade, Rev. Curtis Friday, Rev. Dr. Herbert Miller II, Rev. Bernard Adams, Anita Dean Arnette, Rev.

pillars that could shoulder the heavy disparities within? Are communities worth fighting for? I submit to you that our communities are in need of moral champions of justice, equality, and civic duty. As we continue to celebrate our community champions, I challenge each of you to explore new ways to reach, teach, nurture, and build upon the moral constructs of our community. Lets' all be Victorious In Battle! Be sure and submit future nominee recommendations at www.victoriousinbattle.org and like us on Facebook. The next event will be coming near you soon! This is your opportunity to acknowledge ordinary people that have done extraordinary acts of kindness and community enrichment. Special thanks to all our sponsors: Salem Baptist Church of Lexington, The Vault P.R. Firm, Graphic Mailers, A Daisy a Day, Sun Trust Bank of Lexington, Roberts Funeral Service, Sam’s Club, P.F. Chang’s, Chili’s, Home Depot, Lowe’s, Olive Garden and many more! ■

Rev. Bill Godair Cornerstone Church Salisbury, NC

Rev. Herbert Miller, II First Baptist Church Lexington, NC

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Rev. Jimmy Griffin New Jersey AME Zion Church Lexington, NC

Rev. Curtis Friday The Love Church Winson Salem, NC

INSPIRATION

by Donald Mehl

ll throughout our lives we will experience hills and valleys. Sometime we might find ourselves in a very low valley and then must face a hill that seems like an un-surmountable mountain to climb. During the past few years due to serious health issues, I have faced both. You see, cancer interrupted my life in January 2000 and then again in January 2004. However, I have learned that our God on the mountain is also our God in the valley. If we truly seek His face, He will take us by the hand in that

darkest valley and will safely lead us out. He will put His strong arms around us and then carry us over the tough places in our pathway. He wants us to lean on Him all the way from that deep valley to the highest mountain peak. He is just waiting patiently for us to be totally dependent on Him. Invite Him into your heart as Savior and Lord of your life today. He will lead you out of the dark valley and into the bright sunshine at the top of the mountain. I just praise Him and forever will be grateful to Him that I am cancer free today. I also know that the day when my life on earth in over, my last breath here will be my first breath in Heaven.

When my eyes close in death, they will then be immediately opened there to see the loving, outstretched arms of my Jesus welcoming me. I know that when I see Him, I will know Him by His shining, smiling face and by the scars in His nail pierced hands. What a day that will be! Until then and as long as God has work for me to do for Him on this earth, I will gladly do it to bring honor and glory to His Name. But when He calls me home to serve Him there, I’ll be ready to go and pray I will leave this place willingly. Then I can truly say, ‘Here am I Lord, use me as You will'. ■

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: During my retirement years, my hope and prayer is that I might serve the Lord in part by sharing the Good News of the Gospel through my written work. As the Lord leads and uses my writing style, scripture knowledge and insight, my work will be informative, challenging, assuring and interesting for the reader. In addition, I enjoy Biblical theme woodcarving, Bible studies, Christian music, golf and last but certainly not least, my supportive and caring family. Watch, pray and keep looking up! I have a story to tell...the saving gospel to share...and the fire of the Holy Spirit deep within my soul.

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CHRISTIAN LIVING

Unforgiveness kills Relationships by Renee Fisher

hen I kept silent my skin (not bones) wasted away. Literally, I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting in the hospital bed at San Diego Children’s Hospital with no skin on my face and feet. All because I had cried over a boy. I couldn’t let go. I couldn’t forgive him for leading me on. I wanted nothing more than to feel loved again. I went three whole days before my mom could get me to stop crying. At that point my body broke down. The rash that had started on my toe spread across the tops of my feet and then to my face when I rubbed the tears off my face. I. Was. Miserable. I never thought something so dangerous and so rare could happen to me. Even the doctors felt sorry for me. They came in one by one and took pictures of me. I felt like such a loser. Thankfully, I know that I’m not the only one who struggles to forgive others. I know now that I’m not a loser. Even though this boy, we’ll call Jake, couldn’t be there for me in ways that I thought I needed–it propelled me into the arms of God. The more time I spent in the Word–the more I realized I need a Savior and desperately need His forgiveness. When I was in the hospital, my mom read to me from her Bible a passage that I had never heard before. It was the key, I believe, to set me free. Never before had I heard of God injuring you to heal you. Let’s read from Hosea 6:1-3 together. It says, “Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will restore us that we may live in his presence.

Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth” (NIV). That was the passage that God used to cut through the unforgiveness, rescue me, and set me on a secure foundation (1 Peter 5:10). What about you? Are you struggling to forgive a past relationship? I want you to know through my story that overcoming is possible! Because I had never experienced God’s love in such a powerful way, that was what caused me to finally believe. The love I had been searching for in Jake was already made available through God’s son Jesus and his death on the cross. The moment I choose to repent of my sin and ask God to forgive me I finally felt free both in my heart and my health. “Forgiveness doesn’t just affect relationships, but the body, soul, mind, and strength. It took my body ten years to heal from that health crash. I don’t know why God didn’t step in and heal me. But because God allowed my rash to spread I have an even bigger story to tell–one that doesn’t just end with forgiveness but restoration. Thankfully, Jake came to me a few years after I had gotten rid of all my bitterness against him—after I had started rebuilding a new life. He apologized and asked me to forgive him. I still have that letter in a journal as a reminder of God’s love for me. So my question for you is this: Do you have the courage to forgive the person who hurt you the most” (Forgiving Others, Forgiving Me, 115)? As long as you and I search for and hold on to relationships in this world that only God can fulfill we are in danger of death! Our souls were made whole in Christ and Christ alone. ■

I. Was. Miserable.

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COMMUNITY

A Meet the Pastor Apostle Deborah L. White Church of Restoration 2302 W. Meadowview Rd. Suite 221 Greensboro N.C, 27407

fter growing up as the black sheep of the family I never felt like I belonged anywhere. Dealing with childhood hurt & rejection, I just couldn`t understand why I felt like I did, so I turned to the streets looking for love & acceptance. Going through endless relationships to seek approval as well as love from a “man” yet never feeling complete while doing so. I was compelled to do ANYTHING to feel BIG in the eyes of others. Having my children out of wedlock and still looking for love had me thinking that the streets would give me what I needed, but of course it didn't, it just created more havoc and hurt on top of what I was already feeling. Shortly after that period in my life I got married, but still feeling as if something was missing in my life, so In June of 2002 I surrendered my life to Christ not knowing at that particular time that I would be where I am now 13 years later. I have experienced some highs & lows on my journey, but God has been in midst through it all. It was the love I had been in search of my whole life. In 2005, I was ordained as an Evangelist, and later in 2010 was ordained as a Minister of the Gospel. In 2012 the Lord called my son home & during this period of my life people were looking at me as if something was wrong with me because I would tell them "God is still good". They couldn't quite understand how I could say that after losing my son the way that I did. I would tell them God is too wise to make a mistake. He said "All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose"( Romans 8:28). Even though it didn't feel good, it was for my good. When you say you trust God you have to trust him with everything, and I trusted him enough to know what was best for my life, and my sons life. Exactly two weeks after my sons home going the Lord called me to Pastoral-ship, and told me to start a ministry called Church of Restoration. Unaware that God would take what I've been through my whole life and give me a healing ministry. God had to take me through it so I would be able to help others. It was nothing that I wanted to do, but knew it was Gods will and not my will. So here I am three years later, healing Gods people, delivering them, and setting the captive free. Who would've known that God would use someone like me, the Chief cornerstone, that the builders rejected to spread his Gospel. ■

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ou may feel like you should always be in control of your emotions, but you can't ignore the pounding headaches, tight muscles, and short temper that you are suddenly experiencing. Everyone suffers from stress at some point in life, but by following some simple tips, you'll soon be back to your cheerful self.

are feeling stressed, sit down in a comfortable position, put one hand on your chest, and the other on your stomach. Breathe in through your nose. If you are deep breathing correctly, you will see the hand on your stomach rise as you breathe, while the hand on your chest should only move slightly. Repeat 10 times and feel yourself relax.

Here are 4 tips to eliminate stress:

You may feel like your thoughts are all over the place, and writing down how you are feeling will help you to clarify thoughts and put them into the proper perspective. Make a habit of journaling regularly, and you will discover the things that make you happy, while eliminating toxic people and situations.

Lean on God God knows exactly what you need and is just waiting for you to call on Him for help. One of my favorite scriptures concerning stress relief can be found in Philippians 4: 6-7. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Take It Slow Taking deep breaths from the diaphragm allows full oxygen exchange throughout the chest and lungs. When you

Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Journal

Practice Gratitude This tip has been the most helpful when I am feeling stressed. There are so many things to be thankful for, that even the worse problems don't seem that bad. Practice gratitude by making a gratitude list of everything you're thankful for. I like to do this in the morning and before I go to bed. Include everything you can think of. There is good food to eat, family and friends to treasure, a warm house to sleep in, and most of all a God who loves and leads us. ■

I've always dreamed about being a freelance writer, and I just quit my job to pursue that passion. I've been a member of FaithWriters for many years, but haven't been active in several years and now I am excited to interact more with the FaithWriters community while taking advantage of opportunities to improve my writing skills. I live in Roseville,CA with my husband Mark. We enjoy church activities, traveling, football, and tennis. ■

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COMMUNITY Written By Anita "Boss Lady" Dean Arnette WPOL/WKEW

Psalms: 27: 14: "Wait for the Lord: Be strong and let Your heart take courage: Yes, wait for the Lord."

ave you ever sat in a waiting room.. ..a land where time seemingly stands still. It is a place where life is put on hold. In a doctor's office it seems like hours have passed before you actually see the doctor. You keep looking at your watch, and it has only been twenty minutes: When we are in the waiting room, it seems as if progress has come to a screeching halt. Are you willing to wait? When you pray, are you really willing to wait for God to answer your prayer or do you get tired of waiting and try to fix it yourself? We hear it all the time: Wait On The Lord! Even though God promises special blessings for waiting, waiting is one of the most difficult things to do. Why is it so hard? Because, as part of fallen humanity, we are so prone to take matters into our own hands, to follow our own schemes, Yet, over and over again we are told in the Scripture: "wait on the Lord". I hear from time to time from my friends: "I can't wait" I just want it now". Due to modern technology and all our conveniences telephones, refrigerators, freezers, microwaves, fast foods, airplanes, etc. we have many things immediately at our fingertips. Just think of the speed of the latest computer technology in comparison with the computers of only a few years ago. I just want to encourage you as you read this article:

My God is an On Time God: HE may not come when you want HIM.. ...but HE is always: ALWAYS on time. When we pray and ask God for anything. He knows our hearts and our desires. He will always supply our needs. What do you do while you wait: Trust God.... Trust HIM in all things and for all things. Remember: Delay does not mean denial. If God brings you to it: He will bring you through it. I don't know what you may be going through at this moment, but whatever it is know that God is on your side. The ability to wait on the Lord stems from being confident and focused on who God is and in what God is doing It means confidence in God's person: confidence in His wisdom, love timing, principles, promises, purposes, and power: I encourage someone today, if you are waiting and asking God for something special in your life: continue to wait and trust Him. I waited for God to bless me with a "mate" and after seventeen (17) years. God answered that prayer and blessed me with a wonderful man of God, Minister Jerry Arnette. I thank God for him everyday. God placed me in his life and I just want to let you know: It pays to wait on God for ALL things. God does not bless in no mess so when we try to get in front of God.. ..we mess up every time. "Wait for the Lord: Be strong, and let your heart take courage: Yes, wait for the Lord". ■

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by Paul Hoffmaster

11 prayers are probably the most offered petitions in Christian circles today. These prayers exhibit an urgency that if something does not happen soon, all will be lost. The parameters of these 911 prayers include everything from physical and mental healing, to financial, materialistic, and societal acceptance. There are usually time restraints with these pleas for help, and it is Satan who keeps the petitioners aware of the fleeting hours! When the situation we are presenting is personal, the greater the intensity of presentation. To illustrate the seriousness of our request, we revert to fasting and making promises that are out of the realm of reason. We promise to give up something of self importance if God will only grant our 911 prayer. The farther we are from direct personal needs, the less will be our intensity. We pray for the salvation of someone, but we fail to realize that those types of prayers will hold the possibility that God might choose us to be the instrument of their salvation! There are some Christians that use the 911 prayers for situations they could have handled themselves if they had only lined up their lives with the Word of God. We must learn to use the spiritual and mental authority that God has given us when faced with negative situations in our lives. There is a place for 911 prayers, but many needs can be met with the resources in God’s Word. When we are faced with a situation for which we simply cannot see the solution, it is the time to use the 911 prayer! Always remember that God knows what we are going through. We have a contract with Him that He will never leave or forsake us. When we are facing a problem, He is there with us! Image

in the middle of a difficult situation we excuse ourselves from the Lord and say, “I have to make a 911 prayer!” When those difficult times arise, take His hand and walk through the situation. If you feel weak and the mind has overwhelmed the spirit, then it is time to use the 911 prayer. When negativity smothers one’s attitude, then it is time to use the 911 prayer. When unbelief overshadows faith, then it is time to use the 911 prayer. When you walk away from His presence, then it is time to use the 911 prayer. When you doubt His Word, then it is time to use the 911 prayer. 911 prayers are not meant for an easy way out, but a request for help in facing trials. These types of prayer are for assistance in our struggles. God is not a “genie” who is there for granting our every wish, but a loving God who will guide us through the difficult times. When we cry out with our “emergencies” we may be saying we understand what the Word says, but we just need to grasp the reality of that hope. Let us never be too proud to use our 911 prayer when we just can’t seem to get our mind in sync with our spirit. We must walk by faith in the sight of the problem. We must believe in His Word, no matter what the circumstances. We must realize we have the mind of Christ and not a carnal mind. We must see things as they can be and not as they are. We must walk in the light of His Word and not run in the uncertainty of darkness. We must trust Him and not rely on horizontal situations. If we can’t come to the reality of the victory, then it is time to implement the 911 prayer! ■

THE AUTHOR: Been in the active ministry for 46 years. Received a BA Degree from Detroit Institute of Technology and a Master of Divinity degree from Methodist Theological Seminary. Have Pastored for 35 years in three major Denominations: United Methodist, Christian and Missionary Alliance, Assemblies of God. Have been involved in Radio Ministry as well as a Newspaper columnist for over twenty years. Presently retired and living in Indiana.

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COMMUNITY

Russell Funeral Home, Inc. 822 Carl Russell Ave. Winston-Salem, NC 27101 Phone: 336-722-3459 rusfhome@bellsouth.net

Who should I turn to for help to plan a meaningful funeral? The funeral home and its staff play a critical role in the planning and conducting of a meaningful funeral. They are the people with the training and expertise you will rely on in the days leading up to the funeral. Their advice, compassion, attention to detail and willingness to personalize the ceremony will greatly influence your funeral experience. What kind of funeral service should I have? You can choose from a variety of funeral service types and formats. Some people think that funerals must conform to traditional ways, but there is no one right way to have a funeral. Just as grief has many dimensions and is experienced in different ways by different people, funerals are also unique. A funeral should simply be fitting for the person who died and the family and friends who survive. This is an opportunity to be creative and to share an honest expression of your most heartfelt values. There are no rigid rules that need to be followed, but there are guidelines that can help you if you are unsure how you might proceed. How do I ensure the funeral is personalized? The funeral service you plan should be as special as the life you will be remembering. Here are a few ideas:  Write a personalized obituary.  Create a column in the guest book for people to jot down a memory after they sign their name.  Display personal items and hobby items on a table at the visitation.  Show a DVD or slide show of the person's life during the funeral.  Select flowers that were meaningful to the person who died.  Use a lot of music, especially if music was meaningful

 

to the person who died or means something to your family. At the funeral, invite people to write down a memory of the person who died. Appoint someone to gather and read the memories aloud. Create a personalized grave marker.

What will happen to the body? Your family must choose not only the type of funeral service to hold but also what will happen to the body and where it will be laid to rest. Embalming is how the funeral home temporarily preserves the body of the person who died so it can be viewed by the family. Embalming also allows a number of days to elapse before burial and cremation, thus giving family and friends time to prepare and gather for the funeral. The body of the person who died is the most important symbol to include in the funeral service. Whether present in an open or unopened casket, the body serves as the emotional focus for mourners and helps them acknowledge and embrace their pain. When a body or cremated remains are buried or scattered, there is a “place” for families to go when they want to feel close to their loved one. Families who have spent time with the body have said it has helped them come to terms with the death and begin to transition from life before the death to life after the death. Although it can be emotionally painful, time spent with the body is often helpful to many people. ■

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CHRISTIAN MUSIC

Renaissance, under the direction of Dionn “Maestro” Owen originated in October 2001 as a mass anniversary choir that assembled at Macedonia Worship Center. After countless requests and much prayer, the choir as it is known today held their debut concert on January 19, 2002 at Middle Fork Christian Church. Renaissance is comprised of members from different churches in the Triad area. Renaissance share the stage with national ministries such as Yolanda Adams, Bishop Dreyfus Smith and the Wings of Faith, The Wilmington Chester Mass Choir, Troy Sneed, Patrick Lundy & The Ministers of Music and Trinity 5:7, Myron Butler and Levi, Bobby Jones and many more. Renaissance released their debut CD in September 2003. Their independent release received a favorable review from Gospel Flava with churchy songs such as “Come by Here” and “He Cares” have become songs of choice for choirs locally as well as in abroad. In June 2007 Renaissance received an award for the Choir of the year from Gospel Reflections award show. Renaissance currently released their sophomore project entitled "Psalms from the Heart” in April 12th 2008 with highly favored selections as the Powerful lyrics of “ In his hands” the high energy praise and worship lyrics of “He’s Worthy” and the anointed melody of “Rain on me” and many more selections for all genre of musical flavor. The Renaissance was awarded the Choir of the Year 2007 for the Excellence Awards in Greensboro North Carolina also September 2008 Renaissance had the pleasure of being the special guest artist for the Chris Paul (CP3) weekend.

July 2009 Renaissance was nominated in four categories at the Rhythm of Gospel Awards in Pine Bluff Arkansas. The Renaissance was the headliner for the live TV taping which aired on seven major TV stations. Renaissance came home with the victory with the award “Community Choir of Year. The Renaissance also open for Luther Barnes and Lee Williams and the Spiritual QC’S concert February 2011 and national recording artist Norman Hutchins in July of 2013 and Hezekiah Walker August 2014. The Lord has opened so many doors for this ministry. The Renaissance was featured in a movie October 2014 directed by Nathan Ross for and upcoming Film to be featured in the 2015 Black film festival. Renaissance has been nominated for the CD of the year by the Dunamis Gospel Awards show 2015. Please keep Dionn Owen & The Renaissance lifted in prayer as they continue to minister in song and spread the goodness and mercy of our Lord and Savior JESUS CHRIST. We are blessed beyond measure. ■

Renaissance • P.O. Box 17291 □ Winston-Salem, North Carolina 27116 □ Dionn Owen: 336-918-9437 Facebook: Facebook.com/Dionno □ Twitter@Dionnowen □ DionnOwenRenaissance@Gmail.com DionnOwen@Gmail.com

Top 10 Gospel Songs

01 Worth Anthony Brown & group therAPy

06 I Luh God Erica Campbell featuring Bigg Shizz

02 #War Charles Jenkins & fellowship Chicago

07 This Place Tamela Mann

03 For Your Glory Tasha Cobbs

08 Intentional Travis Greene

04 Yes You Can Marvin Sapp

09 Fill Me Up Casey J

05 Worth Fighting For Brian Courtney Wilson

10 I Am Jason Nelson

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The Talk You Need to Have With Your Parents CONTINUED FROM PAGE 17

Bring in a support team. Your parents may feel more comfortable discussing financial issues with their attorney or financial planner present to facilitate the conversation. They may also feel more comfortable talking with all their children at once, or to only one – take family dynamics into consideration. And call us in at the beginning of the process. We can help ease the way tremendously. Make a plan. Chances are you will need immediate access to cash in order to pay expenses related to a parent’s passing. Since probate can be a lengthy process, you may want to plan for this eventuality by having parents establish a revocable living trust, which allows assets to pass outside probate. ■

Prosperity on Purpose CONTINUED FROM PAGE 7

health insurance for the purpose it was intended. Health insurance is to protect and sustain our wholeness. Our goal should be to maintain our temples free from an illness or injury so that our lives are healthier and wealthier. Please contact me with your questions or comments at gileadgf@gmail.com or visit my website at www.gileadgroupfinancial .net for a quote or leave contact information. You may contact me directly at 336-778-3349 to schedule an appointment for a customized consultation. ■ MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2015 ■ 336-323-8091

Spiritual E Life Magazine

Without A Single Fear by Louis Gander

While resting in a field of grass, I pray, "Almighty God, The breezes blow in constant waves. I find it somewhat odd I find it odd that grasses bend and give in to the breeze. I find it odd that they don't fight, Are they the least of these?" God's answer was immediate as I searched deep inside. Did I move with the breezes too? Did I have faults to hide? Did breezes blow me to and fro? Did I bend as the field? Do sins of old and sins anew keep me from being healed? Determined then to live correct in world that isn't 'just' I must live life as Jesus did. Forgiveness is a must. Oh, there's no doubt that I was wronged and plagues will follow me, but faithfully I'll follow Him and live life reverently. With elbow on soft, velvet grass and hand against my ear, while resting on the greenest slope, my wishes disappear. Earth passes now, or so it seems, as I am resting here, without concern or troubled angst, without a single fear.

By Bobby Bruno

hen looking at the six excuses for not sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with others, I find that my two highest are the ones that are the hardest for me. Due to my sexually abused background, I sometimes find it hard to speak to people about things I believe they will immediately reject hearing from me. I have no problem with the last four as they are not true for me today as they once were in the past before I was saved. See the six excuses below, listed from hardest to easiest, and my explanations of why I have listed them in this order. I'm afraid of being rejected because rejection was a big part of my past that I still have a problem with in overcoming. When I want to tell a person about Jesus, I can get tongue-tied and nothing will come out, as if my brain gets locked and won't produce the words I want to say. It frustrates me because I know this per-

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about Jesus when I was going through the divorce. My younger sister accepted Jesus after eleven years of talking with her about her needing Jesus in her life. Unfortunately, my father, mother, older sister and brother do not feel that they need Jesus in their lives. There is nothing more I can say to get them to think any different at this time.

son is not saved and I want so much for them to not only be saved, but to know Jesus as I do. Sharing with certain of my coworkers has not been too much of a problem. I have evangelized to a few of my coworkers when they ask questions about why this world is in such bad shape. Some of them can't trust a God who lets bad stuff happen, and some of them say that they are too young to need God in their life. I so want to evangelize to a Jewish women I work with, but I know of her disdain and hatred for Christians, especially her saved brother. I want so much for her to see that Jesus is the Messiah she is waiting for, but the evil that drips off of her lips when she talks about her brother shocks me enough to just want to walk away from the conversation, because I feel as if I am being persecuted for her brothers "mistake." I'm afraid of what my friends will think only in that all of my friends at this moment are Christians. I haven't had a best friend since before I got saved fourteen years ago, and the Christian friends I do have I only get to see at church on Sundays. It's hard for me to make new friends because of my past, as I was a loner then and have gotten use to somewhat remaining one today. I'm afraid of losing my friends (see above) and relatives only in that I have evangelized my entire immediate family after I was saved. My two children were saved through going to church with me and hearing me talk

These last two, I don't know enough and I don't know how, are not a problem for me. I have been studying the Bible, writing well-received articles about the Gospel of Jesus Christ, reading many, many books on the Bible, Christianity, prophecy, and Christian living. I know the subject and know how to present it, now I just need the courage to open my mouth more often. That is not to say that I don't show Jesus by the way I act and the way I treat people. I am usually known as the one to call on when a problem needs to be solved, because people know that I will satisfactorily solve the problem even better than expected. The desire in my heart to evangelize is great. I want the whole world to know the love and mercy of Jesus Christ. I have visions of speaking to arenas full of lost people as Billy Graham still does to this day. I especially want to evangelize those who have been sexually abused as children so that their lives can begin now and not later in life when they are ready to deal with the issues the abuse brought into their lives. Someday, I pray that this vision will come true, God willing. ■ References: Fay, W., Shepherd, L. E. (1999). Share Jesus without fear. Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing Group. Bobby Bruno was saved 15 years ago in a way that left him no doubt that Jesus wanted him to reach others with His great and abounding love. He started writing at the age of 12 and hasn't stopped since. He achieved Associates Degree in Biblical Studies from Ohio Christian University in early 2014.

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CHRISTIAN BUSINESS

A wise business owner once said, "Happiness is a positive cash flow." As a business owner, I'm sure you agree. Everything is better when your cash-in exceeds your cash-out. A cash crisis can be emotionally devastating and it can even kill your business. If you've ever had to beg, borrow and steal to cover tomorrow’s payroll you know what I mean. Our cash management service allows you to...  Know when, where, and how your cash needs will occur.  Know what the best sources are for meeting your additional cash needs. Be prepared to meet these needs when they occur, by keeping good relationships with bankers and other creditors. The starting point for avoiding a cash crisis is allowing us to develop a cash flow projection for you. We can help you develop both short-term (weekly, monthly) cash flow projections to help you manage daily cash, and long-term (annual, 3-5 year) cash flow projections to help you develop the necessary capital strategy to meet your business needs. We also prepare historical cash flow statements to help you gain an understanding about where all the money went. Creating an accurate cash flow projection is just one of the many cash management services we provide. You also get...  Help obtaining an appropriate line of credit  Cash collection acceleration techniques  Proven effective collection policies  Proven effective payment policies  Help obtaining the maximum rate of return on your idle cash. Make sure your business has adequate funds to cover dayto-day expenses. If you need help analyzing and managing your cash flow more effectively help is “just a CLICK” or phone call away.

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MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2015 ■ 336-323-8091