Dapper Dads Magazine Issue No. 2 by DDM Magazine

issue 2 | october 2014

BR IAN W HIT E / family f irst

ART : “ Formed Culture “ Through the lens of a Legend FASHION : The Grungy Gentlemen TRAVEL : Cruising through Miami’s own Hilton Bentley Meditteranean delights Fitness Voyage LIFESTYLE : The Dad I Never Knew Dissecting a Parallel Universe

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TECHNOLOGY : Tonino Lamborghini DapperDadsMag.com 1

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T A B L E OF

CONTENTS

“FATHERHOOD, FASHION, & FORWARD MOVEMENT”

October 2014

Issey Miyake

ART 17 64

Culture Photography - Atalia Katz

BRIAN WHITE

+ fam i l y f i rst FASHION 36

Maison Kitsune

Bison

Mizzen

SS14 Giofre Lookbook

114 120

D.Jones Custom Suit Maker Finding Nirvana

On The Cover

Actor Brian White with his new daughter in his Los Angeles home.

Photography by: Kate Jeffery & Barry Jeffery

Subscriptions For subscriptions , info@dapperdadsmag.com

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T A B L E OF

CONTents OCTOBER 2014

TRAVEL 128

Cruising through Miamiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Own Hilton Bentley

134

Signita Boulders Lodge

LIFESTYLE 148

Dove + Men Care

180

Tonino Lamborghini

170

The Dad I Never Knew

178

Finding Fitness in the Mediterranean

188

ADDICTED

ISSEY MIYAKE 14

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CULTURE PHOTOGRAPHY

ART

ATALIA KATZ

FEATURES Culture Photography - Atalia Kats

ART M

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I’ve always envied those with the ability to take photographs. I can even attribute part of my reasoning for this magazine to that very same desire. Photographers have an innate ability to capture life, its meaning, and all its interpretations in its most artistic and truest forms. With no descriptions, sound or, titles, a picture can tell us what lies behind the eyes of a subject, and furthermore, what is deep in their soul. It can depict life’s greatest accomplishments, while showing us the dark and harsh realities that we all share in the quiet recesses of our homes, countries, and minds. There is no doubt that becoming a photographer requires extensive training and familiarization with the methods of the original forms of photography. To be considered a real photographer, it takes more than pointing a camera and shooting, more than the ability to manipulate images with Photoshop, or knowing what app it takes to make things look pretty. No, the name photographer is earned, not given. When I came across the work of Atalia Katz, I can say that I was immediately blown away. As the co-founder of this magazine, one can ascertain that I am regularly bombarded with story pitches, people eager to work with us, and a slew of lack luster portfolios from “emerging” artists; but not this time, I had certainly found a diamond amongst a sea of coal. Influenced by the great Sebrastiao Salgado, Brazilian documentarian and photographer who is currently residing in Paris, Katz views him dearly as a “true artist”. Atalia Katz’s work is a timeless piece and her story is one that Dapper Dads Magazine saw fit for this issue.

When traveling to foreign countries, what are some of the things that grab your attention and contribute to your inspiration?

When I travel to foreign countries, the things that grab my attention are people’s way of life, their culture, the nature of that region, and the faces of the inhabitants that change from one place to another.

How does the traveling aspect of your life affect your household? Who are your main supporters?

I currently live by myself, so my traveling does not affect my household. I am free as a bird. I have nests in New York, Tel Aviv, and Haifa, but I make myself feel at home wherever I go I do have four children and ten grandchildren; I believe they really enjoy their grandmother being a photographer.

Where did you get your start and what was the journey like before reaching your level of success?

I actually got my start when I purchased my first really good camera. Although I already had a background in art, this camera turned out to be the most powerful tool for me to express my artistic ambition. When I travelled to Ethiopia, something inside of me just snapped, it was a very powerful experience and I haven’t stopped since then. One can ascertain that your photos have a social awareness aspect about them, can you elaborate on the messages you portray (if any) in your photos?

First of all, I believe that an occupation in art is a message of its own. You say something by participating in it; an aesthetic way to communicate with the world. I don’t have a particular message in my photographs. I just want to show what is happening. The way you communicate with the person you are taking a photograph of is personal. It becomes some sort of an intimate message, or “autograph.”

CULTURE PHOTOGRAPHY by Atalia Katz 18

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When I was in Papua New Guinea, I focused on men, how they dress, do their hair and put on makeup as a form of a ritual.

Found in many galleries and exhibitions across the globe, is this the stage that you have always seen your work in? Is there a higher plateau or goal for your work?

Actually, the higher goal for my work is documenting. I would like to tell the stories and leave them for others to enjoy.

What is the difference between a black & white and a colored photo?

A black and white photo is different than a colored photo in the way that a color photo reveals the small details and nuances along with the subject; meanwhile, the black and white version brings out the actual focus of the subject because you are not focusing on the color of things.

ATALIA KATZ

What were your creative goals while in Papua New Guinea?

CULTURE PHOTOGRAPHY by Atalia Katz 20

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CULTURE PHOTOGRAPHY by Atalia Katz

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CULTURE PHOTOGRAPHY by Atalia Katz

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CULTURE PHOTOGRAPHY by Atalia Katz

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“ I get my inspiration from things that move me... and the contact between the light, the passion and the sight. ”

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CULTURE PHOTOGRAPHY by Atalia Katz

“ I think of myself as anthropologic, I study the human behavior of the people in my photos. ”

CULTURE PHOTOGRAPHY by Atalia Katz

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“ When a door opens I decide if I walk through it or not. When I find something interesting, I keep occupying it for a long time. ”

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CULTURE PHOTOGRAPHY by Atalia Katz

“ My family members are often the subjects of my photographs. I am very involved with the school activities that my grandchildren participate in while doing my photography, so it’s fun. ”

CULTURE PHOTOGRAPHY by Atalia Katz

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“ A photographer is someone that can really see and work with light. ”

“ The legacy I would like to leave the world are the stories that I am documenting through my photographs.”

Atalia Katz is an artist to keep on your radar. Her ability to capture the moments in life that often go unspoken cements her as a paramount in the world of photography and soon, documentary. Her vision is to create a legacy where we, the viewer, can share in the masterpieces of her work. Our privilege is to indulge in the artistry of Atalia Katz. The work of Atalia Katz has been shown in exhibitions across the world. It depicts a series of lifestyle images that capture the true nature of humanity. Her lens is not

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CULTURE PHOTOGRAPHY by Atalia Katz

blind to capturing the many cultures of our world, but reveals in the most subtle ways, just how beautiful and diverse this world is. There is no doubt that her work is a melting pot for the beauty of mankind. With the surge of budding artists that have found the easy way to steal this title, it is only right that we make clear, that not everyone is a photographer. Of course this can be said for many other professions which require in-depth skill and training, but I will save those insights for the next issue.

CULTURE PHOTOGRAPHY by Atalia Katz

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CO_FOUNDER CO_FOUNDER MANAGING EDITOR MENS STYLE WRITER STYLE DIRECTOR WEST COAST DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS CREATIVE DIRECTOR CREATIVE INTERN

MARIO F. DANIELS TENYSE WILLIAMS JAMILA PRINGLE SHONA CRUZ ADONIS COCKFIELD JENNIFER WILSON SAMIRA OWENS ASHLRY CANZATER

*PHOTO-SHOOT PRODUCTION STAFF*

LEAD PHOTOGRAPHERS SET BEAUTY DIRECTOR VIDEOAGRAPHER SET PRODUCTION ASSISTANT

KATE JEFFERY & BARRY JEFFERY ELIZABETH RITA RED CARTER ANGELICA ADEWALE

SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

CYNTHIA LEWIS RASHIDA MOORE SANTIAGO STICHEL MARY WILLIAMS-ELBERT MICHELE WILLIAMS DERRICK WILLIAMS TANYA WILLIAMS

(646) 926-4244 PR@dapperdadsmag.com info@dapperdadsmag.com

www.DAPPERDADSMAG.com

FASHION FEATURES MAISON KITSUNE FW14 BISON MADE MIZZEN+MAIN SS14 GIOFRE LOOKBOOK CUSTOM CLOTHIER D. JONES GRUNGY GENTLEMEN

FASHION M

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MAISON KITSUNE 36

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MAISON KITSUNE FW14 KILO KISH & TOM BURKE

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bison accessories â&#x20AC;˘ grungy gentlemen

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I anxiously wait for the call on the other end of the line to pick up, wondering where exactly I’m calling and what the voice on the other end of the line would sound like. I am pleasantly surprised that the voice is friendly; if a voice could sound smooth and dapper with a twist of elegance, it did. As we make our introductions and weave in and out of our conversation, I realize quickly his Gentleman status in my mind’s eye almost instantaneously. This is a true entrepreneur and creator. Sebastian Sandersius, the founder of Bison Made leather goods for men is as intellectually charming as he is a creative visionary.

Thank you for taking the time to explore Bison Made with me. Let’s start with the obvious question: What is Bison Made?

The original vision was to create a product and brand that would offer men something that was different but reminiscent of grooming tools of our grandparents’ days. I love to antique shop and maybe that’s what influenced the vintage vibe for the old school grooming pieces. It’s a throwback made with modern technology.

The brand really is designed for every man; it’s designed for real life! It is giving the option to men that their grooming doesn’t have to be standard, it can be unique and classic, a charming juxtaposition between vintage utility and the modern man. The brand’s tag line conveys exactly that, ‘Designed for Life’. The Bison Made brand is about offering a luxurious product that is does not seem pretentious, but rather allows the modern man to add a touch of class every morning to his grooming routine. The collections themselves are classified as a luxury men’s accessory brand, proudly MADE IN USA.

What sets Bison Made apart from any other leather luxury brand out there? We offer a premium product and are backed with our guarantee. It’s domestically made right here in the USA. We use one of the oldest and original tanneries in the America, Horween (based in Chicago, ILL) to produce our product and all materials are genuine leathers and metals. Our collections are simple, not over complicated and beautiful pieces that can be passed down from generation to generation because they are made to last a lifetime.

What was the original vision for the brand when you first started?

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Is it safe to say that the Bison Made brand was created out of a need that the marketplace wasn’t even aware of yet?

I believe so. We use natural hides, {about 75% horse hide, with some cow hides} strong, high quality hand threading and steel. I have yet to find a collection of men’s grooming products that celebrate this unique combination of vintage style and luxury while manufacturing domestically in North America. We are creating products that our customers can feel proud to where because of its authenticity and quality. I wanted to create a product that men could incorporate as part of their style ID, like a style signature.

How are you now cultivating that need and creating new products for your brand followers?

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We are always looking for ways to improve. I have a few ideas in the works right now that I feel would continue to exemplify the brand and continue the vintage style throughout the products we create in the future. I am anxious to launch the new F/W 2015 line at an upcoming show in Las Vegas and soon to available on our site for customers. I will let you in on a project in the works: a line of Bison Made belts, we have been manufacturing belts and other men’s accessories for other companies for years but thought that it was time to create a line that is true and unique to the Bison Made brand.

Any new additions to the collection, on the horizon we can look forward to?

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I probably should have asked this earlier but, where did the name come from? Any significance there? The products aren’t made with Bison hides…

The meaning behind the name Bison Made was derived from the fact that we knew we were creating an American product and wanted to brand it in a way that celebrates that notable distinction. We wanted to obviously keep a masculine feel to the brand and yet tie in the Americana component. The Bison {also known as the American Buffalo} is undoubtedly a rugged beast that denotes an American heritage.

If I had to choose just one word to describe Bison Made what characteristics do you hope that word would embody?

Well, if anyone were to articulate the Bison Made brand I would definitely hope that they would consider the premium quality that each product is made with. Premium hides hand stitched with strong, durable threads and tanned at the original tannery, I mean it doesn’t get more quality than that and is made in the good old USA. The word used to describe should not only embody the value and luxury of the product but to hold it dear as a keep sake or heirloom that can be passed on to promote family and heritage. Its luxury for the modern man because of its rich textures and authenticity but yet holds the charm of a vintage piece reminding each customer of something of beauty in their past.

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After this enlightening conversation with Sebastian covering all things from German made cars to his extensive education in the field of Science, the authenticity was unmistakable. I know the word I would use to describe the Bison Made brand and its leader: PASSION.

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SWIMS f/w 2014 - men’s galoshes

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SWIMS f/w 2014 - men’s galoshes

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BRIAN WH I T E

family f irst BY TENYSE WILLIAMS // Q&A BY JENNIFER WILSON

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pon my arrival to one of televisions most beloved male figures, I was greeted by none other than a new, fourlegged friend who barked in excitement en route to greet his new guests. Not far from my furry friend was a small cry in the kitchen area, where a beautiful baby girl with bright eyes was being held and rocked gently by her grandmother,

whose warm smile emanated rays of comfort to oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heart. That picture alone was it for me. I knew that once I was settled in this home, that Dapper Dads Magazine would have a memorable photoshoot with an intriguing father and actor with values in the entertainment industry. Most of all, I wanted to know, where did CWTV Beauty and the Beastsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Brian White learn how to be the father he is today.

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“ communication is key ! ” WHITE

is known as a heartthrob to many women, mainly due to his roles in featured films such as “Stomp the Yard,” “I Can Do Bad all By Myself,” “Daddy’s Little Girls,” “Good Deeds,” and much more. He is also known to many as a prominent actor, dancer, dynamic stepper (stomp the yard), and philanthropist (W.A.R.M2Kids). However, his family influenced background has made him into the loving husband to his wife, Paula D. Silva and father to his first born Layla Simone. Before White became the father he is today, he underwent an interesting journey, being the first child of six and the only son to the beautiful Estelle and NBA Boston Celtic Champion Jo Jo White. Growing up with five sisters, White knew that he had to keep the legacy going, especially being a son to an NBA champion. Due to his outstanding plays as an avid football and lacrosse player, White was immediately drafted to the New England Patriots and the National Lacrosse League (NLL). Following the footsteps of his father of being

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a great athlete took a shocking turn as his career was cut short due to a fatal injury. From this point on, Brian used his talents and skills as a graduate of Dartmouth College studying theater, Psychology, and Political Science to obtain his career in the entertainment and arts industry by co-founding a successful dance company called the “Phunk Pheomeno,” that collaborated with MTV, NBA,NFL, and performances with Britney Spears, TLC, Jessica Simpson, Alvin Ailey, and more. Despite his career turnaround and his success, White was given the ultimate, yet rewarding challenge of parenting. With all of White’s past and current success in television and sports, maintaining continuity in his family was all due to one simple thing, communication. “Communication is key!” said White adamantly. “Every year we set goals for ourselves. We have goals as parents and we always look at what we have to accomplish from when she is three months-six months and so on. Trying to figure out what we want to do and speaking that into existence for our family.”

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BREATHING LIFE TO LAYLA

ooking back at White’s daughter, Layla Simone in the arms of her grandmother at only six weeks old, Brian expressed that it was not easy trying to have a baby and ultimately had no preference to the sex of his child, “We tried for a little bit, and then after a while I realized that I did not care about the sex of the baby and I was ready for what

God wanted me to have. I just wanted to continue to learn and grow and become the man I am supposed to become, and the father that I am supposed to be. Then all of sudden we had this little miracle and I would not change this for the world. This experience has taught me that you might not get what you want, however, you always get what you need, and what I needed was a daughter,” said White. OCTOBER 2014 DapperDadsMag.com

Unlike most household’s White’s daughter has the privilege of growing up with both parents in a successful marriage. He admitted that “My wife and I have been together for over 10 years and we have been married for four.” He smiled slightly and added “I have the best partner ever.” As the old saying goes, The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, because the things and people around you, do help shape you. White attested to this adage saying, “I think everyone’s kid absorb everything about them whether they like it or not. The biggest responsibility of being a parent is getting in touch with your inner self, and letting yourself know that that this little person from the day that they are born is going to put their eyes and ears on my spouse and I. They are going to try and emulate us, especially the words we do not want them to say. Kids are going to do things that you do not want! It always ends up like that.”

The CWTV father took a trip down memory lane adding that he “remember[ed] when I was a kid and I was very optimistic and I always wanted to do the opposite of what my parents told me. Even though you tell your kids what to do, they are always going to follow by your example. Kids do not listen! but they definitely follow in your footsteps. With Layla, I learned that I have to lead by example.” White certainly takes leading by example to heart, not only doing so with his family, but beyond in his philanthropic work, which was inspired by his parents. “I had a lot of time to think about the morals and values that they passed down to me,” he said, but “by looking up to them and watching them live their lives they inspired me and now it’s time to re-instill those same values into my own child.” Leading by example is no easy task, as no one on this earth is perfect, and there are many challenges that affect parents, especially fathers.

“ the big gest responsibility of being a parent is

THE APPLE DOESN’T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE

getting in touch with your inner self ” White laughed and shared an honest side of saying that he knows he is going to mess up, and that he may slip up from time to time. However, he wants to make sure he leads by the best example possible because being a dad to a daughter comes with great responsibility. Especially, since this is the first connection to a male that she is going to encounter. Most often times than not, a father’s relationship with his daughter or son usually determines the type of relationship that child will have with their future spouse. Growing up in a household with five sisters and a father who was constantly on the road was a challenge for White, but he understands the importance in every aspect his past and present and strives to show translucent love for his wife, so that Layla can see what type of relationship she can expect from her future spouse.

KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR

B RIAN W HITE

family f irst

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What is Mizzen+Main? How did it come to fruition ?

Who or what inspires your design ?

Six years ago, working in Washington, D.C. in the summer heat, I watched a staffer run into a very important meeting - soaked in sweat. His shirt was two different colors, sticking to him, and all-around terrible looking. It was unflattering to an up and coming statesman. An hour later when his shirt was finally dry, it was wrinkled and disheveled. This was right around the time performance polo shirts started to become popular in golf and tennis. The idea for moisture wicking dress shirt was born. Mizzen+Main donates a percentage of all shirts to wounded veterans and their families and is pioneering an innovative job experience program for veterans called “A Shirt for a Start.” Mizzen+Main is housed in Dallas, Texas.

Mizzen+Main makes shirts with several principles and friends in mind. We had a simple idea. Even as a start-up, short run shirt maker, we will take a good portion of every sale and apply it to our program, “A Shirt for A Start.” Whether it is a charitable project benefitting an American hero or directly hiring a veteran - we believe that we have found a way to bridge the gap between service and the start-up scene. For selected servicemen and women making the transition, we will pay them while they develop entrepreneurial experience, industry connections, and a better understanding. As we grow as a company, we will offer them more than a start. We will offer an opportunity to join us in design, logistics, communications, engineering, and other key departments. We will also connect them into our networks for continued career development and networking opportunities. We’ve just hired our first full-time veteran - and he’s the hardest worker we have ever met.

How does your brand differ from that of other men’s clothing brands? Our brand is different in a huge way. Mizzen+Main is creating the next great American brand and is bringing innovation to classic menswear. Combining advanced performance fabrics with a refined, traditional style, we have changed the way men approach this staple of their wardrobe with a shirt that is moisture wicking, wrinkle free, has four way stretch, and requires no ironing or dry cleaning. We are evolving tradition through our manufacturing of menswear built from technical fabrics. We are Tradition. Evolved.

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What are some of the challenges you have been faced with when developing your brand and campaigns? Mizzen+Main will be an American staple. Although it’s been tough to sort out production and suppliers all here in the US, we feel as though our vendors are as excited about the success of our business as we are. The real challenge has been to break down the barrier that some men have surrounding their collared shirts. Our fabric is different…in an amazing way. Some people are afraid to try something new. But, we have found that once someone tries our product, they are hooked!

Who are your support systems? Why? My family, friends, and team are the core of my support system. But, without my family – I wouldn’t have had the strength to get where I am today. Apart from financially investing in my business, they have been a constant source of love and support. I am lucky to have them when times are tough – but even luckier to have them to celebrate with me in my success.

What are your long term goals for your business? We want Mizzen+Main to be the next great American brand. As we have worked toward this goal, we have learned how important it is for this next generation of businesses to not only remember what the American Dream stands for, but also make way for other new ideas, jobs, and opportunities.

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What role has your father played in your life and business?What are your next steps?

What was the inspiration behind the #Henleys4Heroes campaign?

I look up to my father a great deal. He has worked hard all of his life, and has taught me the importance of hard work, respect, and discipline. He has supported every move I’ve made. And even though he winced a bit when I quit my job to start my own business, he’s been there and ready to roll his sleeves up at each step of the way.

We developed #Henleys4Heroes to help promote awareness for active duty and veteran service members and also find a way to get them a Mizzen+Main shirt as a thank you.

What are some of the campaigns you have successfully launched? Why were they launched?

In terms of social responsibility/social awareness, what is your take on the responsibility of an individual to support and/or lead a cause?

During the month of July 2014, we rolled out our #Henleys4Heroes campaign. For every dress shirt purchased in July and post to Twitter or Instagram, we donated a Henley to an active duty service member or veteran in our customers’ names. How did it work? Our customers: • Bought

Mizzen+Main

dress

shirt.

• Snapped a picture with the #Henleys4Heroes card that came in their delivery box (also available at our partner boutiques) • Uploaded

the

picture

Twitter

Instagram

• Tagged @MizzenAndMain and included #Henleys4Heroes For each tagged post, a Henley headed to a hero, on us, thanks to our customers. We worked with various organizations that we have partnered with before to select servicemen that received the shirts.

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When I started Mizzen+Main, I knew that I wanted my company to be able to give back to our community. I wanted to create jobs, support veterans, and contribute to our recovering economy. It is my belief that sometimes, the most important part of “social awareness” is just being aware of our neighbors on an everyday basis. Most of the time, these gestures do not need to be public or grand…they just need to be right. That is how my family lives, and also how we operate at Mizzen+Main.

How do you see your movement impacting the lives of families across the nation? With each job we create, and each sale we make, we are proving to Americans and to the world that the American Dream is alive and well. We are proving that if you dream it, you can achieve it - if you work hard enough and smart enough. For a while now the world has condemned American manufacturing (especially in the textile industry). We are well on our way to proving that America is still an industrial powerhouse – and a great place to start a business.

How do you view the significance of social responsibility from a non-parental standpoint in terms of fatherhood? Is it an actual responsibility? Or a matter of choice predicated on one’s beliefs system? Although I’m not completely certain how to answer this, I know that fatherhood is the most important job there is for a man. Fathers are responsible for the future of the planet. That is quite a responsibility. I can not say that I remember having an open conversation with my father about social responsibility. But, I can say that I watched him throughout my life (especially in my formative years), and caring for others oozes from his choices. Like many sons, I always wanted to be just like him. He does not deliberately make a known choice to be “socially responsible.” He gives back were he can, and he lives a life filled with honor and respect. This is what social responsibility as a father means to me.

What comes to mind when you hear the words “Dapper Dads”? A Mizzen+Main man! We know from research that we have done that most of our customers have children. Our goal is to provide hasslefree, great fitting, and awesome looking apparel built for busy lives. No dry-cleaning and no ironing sure seem to help a family on the go!

14. You do not have kids now, but what would be

your “fatherhood style”? (dress, lifestyle, and personality type)

Well, of course I’d like to be a dapper dad! As my wife and I are trying to grow the business, kids are not on the horizon a while. So, by then I might be a silver-haired dad! But, I do believe that people (both men and women); feel better when they look better. And, I also believe that you dress for the job you would like to have. I would like to be a smartly dressed and supportive dad. I hope that even though fatherhood is a tough job – I can dress the part!

14. Do you have any words for

the heroes who are serving across the world?

Gratitude for veterans and active service members is woven into the fiber of our purpose. We are so incredibly grateful for your service and sacrifice. We are doing all we can to support you while you are deployed and when you come home, and although it is not much, we want to make sure that you know that we stand behind you and will support you in any way that we can. We thank Mizzen+Main for addressing a need in society; for reiterating a common principle that is taught to us by our fathers and forefathers, whether we are listening or not. That is to take care of home, your neighbors, and to say thank you to those who deserve it. They also add the twist of looking dapper while doing so. Mizzen+Main was built upon an American tradition of hard work, family, and addressing the needs of the people. This is why so many veterans and families respect what they stand for. I respect what they stand for. Businesses like these are the staples of our country. Dressing for success and looking the part are what makes a father into a Dapper Dad. Mizzen+Main have shown us how they play a key role in that transformation process. OCTOBER 2014 DapperDadsMag.com

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SS14 GIOFRE LOOKBOOK LAU NYC

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avigate a room filled with high-powered executives, business owners and athletes like Tobey Bateman buying director of MrPorter.com, Michael Kors of his selfnamed retail brand, the LA Lakers’ Steve Nash, and combined you have the quintessential D. Jones Clothier man. This is the ideal man who wears customizable, quality apparel made from the finest fabric, and emanates a touch of elegance in what he does and wherever he goes. It makes you picture Michael Douglas sitting nonchalantly on a white leather couch with a Cuban cigar in hand while wearing a linen button-up and pants in his movie ‘Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps,’ saying passive-aggressively, “Why don’t you start calling me Gordon,” or standing in a well-coiffed threepiece suit, in a striped shirt, with broad collars like that of Brooks Brothers, emphasized by piercing eyes of destiny. You may be inclined to indulge in every bench-made, D. Jones Clothier suit that comes around, straight from the tables of Saville Row in England, Italy, and Turkey, where rich history of the bespoke tailoring is present. Its patented 40-point measuring system ensures a fitted look catered to perfection. Customers have the option of choosing from a variety of fabrics including the diversified cloth, high twisted Chilean wool, durable soft wool, cashmere and silk blends, along with rare Dali cloth. These threads can get you looks from black tie and business, to evening and seasonal. Some looks include combinations you may have never considered, like medium-toned purple pants with a blue blanket plaid and checked plaid blazer, or a striped charcoal suit paired with a red blanket plaid tie and a solid white, microscopic Hounds tooth button-up. Those with a more relaxed comfort level may opt for a solid, dark blue fitted blazer with a pink checkered button-up, and jeans for an optimal casual look. There is also the classic pale brown blazer paired with a dark, blue checkered top with a pale blue handkerchief and matching boutonniere for a unique addition.

Often times, a man appears confident and effortless while donning D. Jones Clothiers, so dressing well is more like a sprezzatura. Italian Baldassare Castiglione’s The Book of the Courtier defines it as “A certain nonchalance, so as to conceal all art and make whatever one does or says appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it... It is defined as the ability to accomplish.” Of course, the D. Jones Clothiers look would be nothing without founder and owner, Drew Jones (D. Jones). A loving father of a young daughter, Holland, and adopted Ethiopian son, Addis; as well as style curator by day. Although his ambitiousness, liveliness and love for a solid polished look has increased his clientele, D. Jones took a serious interest in fashion during his time in China after college, where he experienced his first custom suit and became intrigued with the industry itself. This motivated him to travel across the United States, Europe, and Asia to learn about the inner workings of the custom clothing business. To his surprise, he discovered that the industry was being taken over by companies using inferior fabrics and cutting corners on the construction of their garments. It was then that he made it his mission to create a company that used only materials of the finest quality, and to employ only the most talented and experienced tailors. Because of this, the D. Jones brand achieves the most precise measurements possible, and offer an unmatched level of service.

A few of D. Jones Clothiers prominent clients include Texas Rangers Elvis Andrus, Leonys Martin, Jurickson Profar, Alexi Ogando, as well as Emmitt Smith, Jose Altuve of the Houston Astros, and Nelson Cruz of the Baltimore Orioles. As per D. Jones, “every client is different; many of them enjoy our unique colors and patterns as well as the higher quality and rare fabrics we have exclusive access to.” The D. Jones Clothiers brand’s strong foundation in customizability helps to differentiate us greatly from high end retailers.” He also added “We also have hundreds of fabric choices which our clients appreciate. Several of them value the hand-finished craftsmanship, and for others it includes being able to play around with lapel width, button selection and linings.”

Although, D. Jones Clothiers is predominately a men’s brand, Drew admitted that “We see an increase in inquiries for women’s custom, but believe that women will always enjoy the ‘shopping experience.’ Our experience is not shopping, rather a high quality service that actually aims to eliminate the need for shopping, which men will always appreciate.” The brand continues to expand as there have been increasing clients in New York and California. This comes to no surprise as D. Jones “expect(s) to be the #1 thought of suit maker in Dallas, as well as to expand and have Clothiers working for us in Houston, Austin, Oklahoma, Miami and in the great state of New York.” New Yorkers can certainly look forward to new offices arriving there within the next five years.

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The Grungy Gentleman. The name itself tells you that this is not your typical clothing site. On the contrary, it turns convention on its head. The site itself is set up multimedia style, offering all things modern and unique from the categories you would expect from a lifestyle site. From articles on the latest designer runway show to a 101 on Scotch recipes to tickle any set of taste buds. It is hard enough trying to find and stay on top of trends and fashion let alone what is happening with housing, gadgets, food, restaurants and the list goes on. It is simply exhausting! Here is a source that give a one-stop-shop feel with luxury. As I walk through the site I am taken on an exciting sensory ride â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Grungy TV grabs my attention and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m hooked! Looking through the video library I am suddenly made aware that this is more than just your typical hip hop website with a few dashes of designer duds and lifestyle sprinkled throughout. Its chic, its hip hop, its style, its unconventional. I am going to walk you through the highlights of my experience with the Grungy Gentleman.

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What swayed my opinion the most was the riveting interview with Bill Russell, Boston Celtics legend. The interview was conducted by Bill Simmons and it was very informative and easy to follow for someone like myself, whose knowledge of all things basketball is relatively limited. I found it entertaining and interesting learning about the biography. It gave me the feeling that this was not just a style site, it truly was a lifestyle site, offering something meaty that loyal followers of the brand could engage with. I am going to walk you through the highlights of my experience with the Grungy Gentleman.

We have all wondered about the life of the rich and famous; what they eat and drink, wondering if we will ever reach a point like that in our lives where we would live so indulgently; but have you ever wondered what the trendy eat? Well look no further. The food and travel section of this site takes you on a gastro-fantasy ride of what is hot in various cities across the country. I think my favourite had to be the lobster mac & cheese and it does not end there.

When it comes to style and fashion, at first glance, the site looks as though it will be skewed in towards the hip hop side of things and unless your personal style calls for such, you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t find much here. You would be remised to not view the collection of content in this section of the site with all its exposure for the not so popular, casual and even something for the suits! Once again they hit the nail on the head with the plethora of style options for men of all styles.

Now here is a section I could sink my teeth into. The diversity of write ups on this site was incredible. I got to read everything from art gallery events to the hottest concerts and festivals. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be fooled, this section has its fair share of fashion and celebrity entertainment, but its just not the same jive you have read a hundred times on entertainment sites and TV shows already this week. These article are as interesting as they are conversation starters that will keep you seeming in the loop and knowledgeable all at the same time.

So you are a Grungy Gentleman, and your in the mood to switch up your game in the cocktail department but dread the thought of leaving it to the bartender at your local hot spot is worse. Well clearly the Grungy Gent looks no further than the handy Food+Travel section where he finds a write up or two on the latest vintage whatever for the modern man. Problem solved, bottoms up. Blurbs on trendy hot spots from Miami to NYC are of course sprinkled throughout the section to inspire you to dream big and live the lavish lifestyle seen in these glossy images. There is no lack of content here, it is loaded with article after article of choice words spoken true of the lifestyle of the maybe-not-so-rich and trendy.

I have to say the Grungy Gentleman site has enough and more content for the gent who is looking to stay in the loop with all things current and interesting. However, like the sports section of the site I automatically assume this section would hold nothing really of interest for me being that I am a fashion girl! What would content on gadgets and technology have to keep me interested? I eat my words happilyâ&#x20AC;Ś first off, I scan through the pages looking for anything that may catch my eye, maybe a hot buzz word or even a colour scheme to make my darting eyes stop. Lo and behold my eyes did not go far before they landed on the modelling icon Naomi Campbell posing with the latest Beats by Dre headphones, YES! A great behind the scenes video of the making of the commercial and photoshoot was the cherry on that sundae article. #somethingforeveryone

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So I feel like I probably should have mentioned the Bill Russell thing here, but trust me when I say that if I was a Grungy Gent sports fan looking for the latest in whatever sport, I would find no lack of information to satisfy my sport-centric needs.

Overall, I am grateful I was given this assignment because since working as a menswear specialist in Toronto, Canada, lifestyle websites like this one are not just few and far between, they just are not out there. It is definitely my new favourite site to recommend to clients. Men looking to keep their finger on the pulse of luxury lifestyle by design, look no further. Whether you live this lifestyle already or it is something you aspire to Grungy Gentleman is sure to impress and suck you into their world.

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TRAVEL FEATURES Cruising Through Miamiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Own Hilton Bentley SWIMS f/w 2014

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Cruising Through Miami’s Own

re you seeking a vacation with an island feel, minus the travel? Your best bet may be Miami Beach’s Hilton Bentley, with palm trees grounded before spacious pools along the edge of Miami’s clear waters. With endless options and accommodations for a leisurely experience, this luxury hotel getaway delivers the perfect touch of elegance, and presents great opportunity for fathers looking to relish during time off with their families.

One of the most intriguing attributes of this getaway destination is its studio, suites, and penthouse areas with entrancing ocean views and uniquely decorated European furnishings. If you opt for the Guest Room, you can relax in carefully curated European furniture with Italian-imported and marble floors. Later, you can enter a state of tranquility in plush king-sized beds, and peer out at surrounding private terraces, along with the South Beach city line. If you are looking for a fancy flight, you can venture onto the spiral staircase leading up to the penthouse which has housed some of today’s most known, businessmen, celebrities and politicians, like the Kardashians, Paris Hilton, Drew Barrymore, Jamie Foxx, and the Cast of Charlies Angels. When you reach the penthouse, you reach a private whirlpool tub and bedrooms with walk-in closets and private ocean front terraces. After indulging yourself within the Hilton Bentley rooms, you can regroup at the Asian-inspired Spa 101, or take comfort in knowing that there is a cabana with beach butlers to serve your favorite cocktail and entrée. Yet, as always, there is a definitive dining experience which boasts two world-class restaurants. If you fancy some delectable food, make sure to dine at the James Beard-awarded De Rodriquez Cuba, ventured by celebrity Chef Doug. This eatery maintains a sustainable seafood concept with bold flavors from his signature seafood paella, ceviche seafood dishes, and raw bar featuring ceviche, oysters, clams, along with lobster and shrimp cocktails. During dinner you can choose from organic Peruvian blue tilapia with grapefruit and mint or tuna watermelon with kumquats and Thai Basil, then move on to more decadent pursuits like the Corvina a la Macho, the fish pan seared and topped Aji Amarillo and seafood sauce.

s you’ve probably guessed, the Hilton Bentley is under the umbrella of the Hilton Hotels & Resorts, a recognizable name that stands out as a front-runner in hospitality. This brand now serves guests in more than 540 hotels in 78 countries throughout the world. It emphasizes on a memorable experience with unique amenities and thoughtful designs. There is no secret that a Hilton hotel finds sustainability to be important. It was also the first to earn both LEED and Green Seal environmental certifications. In addition to implementation of its green footprint, it also includes the launching of the Center for Sustainable Procurement, launching a Global Week Service that contributed to more than 100,000 volunteer hours to over 800 in the community and service projects in 51 countries.

hilton bentley

The Hilton also initiated a three-year partnership with the International Youth Foundation to increase opportunity for the organization, and to address the needs for unemployed youth. There have also been efforts to advocate for governments to implement smart visa policies which stimulate global travel and subsequently incur economic development. As President and Chief Executive Officer Christopher Nassetta states in his public message, “we operate as a global hospitality leader; when we create value for our business and society, we contribute to these issues in a way that is sustainable into the future, and we inevitably impact an issue that is far greater than our own business.”

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As food is an important part of family time, fathers can also take their loved ones to the Prime Italian Steakhouse with endless selections. As John Lacle, GM of Hilton Bentley admits, “each restaurant has unforgettable signature dishes that can only be found at each individual location.” You can choose from soups, salads, coal-oven pizzas; oysters; caviar; cocktails of shrimp, crab, or lobster; baked clams; fried buffalo mozzarella and antipasti. You can feast on this delightful meal while tuning into the legendary Frank Sinatra over the speakers, and soak in the beautiful setup of white linens on the tables, while partaking in fine wine. Lacle advises that there are “multiple restaurants and bars such as Red Steakhouse, Prime Fish, Italian and Smith and Wollensky” to indulge in. Thankfully, you can never run out of things to do at this elegant allsuite hotel. This luxury hotspot is moments away from the world-renowned Ocean Drive, and finest nightlife locations on South Beach. You are just minutes away from huge attractions such as Jungle Island, Carnival Center for the Performing Arts, American Airlines Arena, Port of Miami and Lincoln Mall. There are tons of things to do for family fun in the Miami area like a trip to Bill Baggs Cape Florida State Park. This is home to an historic lighthouse, the oldest standing structure in the county. You have the option of swimming, fishing or picnicking. There are also free guided tours of the lighthouse and the keeper’s cottage, fishing piers, nature trails, bike rentals and two restaurants, but “one of the greatest things that makes it stand out is the great location and great service with intriguing scenery and a lovely view of the beautiful beach and its water,” says Lacle. So when you are thinking of your next guys trip, romantic getaway, fling, or family time, be sure to make the Hilton Bentley of Miami’s South Beach your first choice destination. After all, dapper dads need dapper surroundings.

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Singita Boulders Lodge

erched between the Sand River and surrounding gargantuous rocks in South Africa’s Sabi Sand is the rustic, yet inviting Singita Boulders Lodge. It lies between Botswana, a country with one of the highest economic growth rates, and Mozambique, that is known for its clear shorelines and intimate offshore beaches. The timeless architecture was inspired by natural surroundings and curated by none other than designers Cecile & Boyd, as well as architect Sally Tsiliyiannis of GAPP Architects & Urban Designers. One glance at this masterfully sculpted landscape and you will feel as if you’ve taken a step back into time; a time when simplicity anchored inhabitant’s way of life.

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When the sun goes down, you can hop into a simple white-wood canopy bed with transparent cloth encamping around each post. These same posts are held together by thick, braided threads as a unique added touch. You can then roll over in cream white sheets with blankets and pillows soft like linen, with your bed facing the exterior scenery. Also, consider the stone enhanced fireplace- placed next to a lean, yet glossy wooden desk on carpet floors.

tepping into a Singita room is no different from being outdoors, with conglomerate yet picturesque- like stone walls, and smooth wooden floors with organic accessories such as aged wood and African, themed art fixtures. According to Tsiliyiannis “The focus is on bringing together reflections of light, texture, color, shadows, relationships between inside and outside and the spirit of the place to create form and space.” After indulging in the magnificent scenery, relax in a bath beside the human-sized glass windows overlooking vast flatlands, where carefully placed majestic trees surround the view. You can truly see why Boyd Ferguson of Cecile & Boyd’s view to have “guests to engage with the lodge from the moment they arrive and throughout their stay.” The interior exudes the four elements of water, earth, air, and fire by showing a unique connection with the wild, yet encompassing the natural stillness of the earth.

singita boulders

By Jamila Pringle

advantage of the new outdoor dining pavilion which provides a unique vantage point, overlooking the Sand River. There are plenty of raw timber decks creating spaces for relaxing around the pool. When considering the Singita dining experience, you can’t leave out the influential wine presence. This venue maintains a stellar showcase of premium wine selections, including private reserves such as: Exclusive Release, Limited Single Vineyard and Rare Auction Wines. There are nearly 222 labels of over 20,000 bottles that the lodge cellars hold, with a list that has received recognition from Awards of Excellence, The Top Diners Club Wine List, and many other international organizations. The Premier Wine Direct, which allows guests to order their favorite wines from their vacation stay can be specially packaged, checked as luggage or directed to their temporary destination. It is managed by none other than Francois Rautenbach. Visitors can also take advantage of personalized tastings in various styles of wine.

After perusing the space, it is always great to take

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singita boulders

singita boulders If you need some down time, there is the Bush Spa with detail-oriented, holistic healing treatments. This experience is a perfect balance of beauty and tranquility with massages, nourishing masks and polishing scrubs using Dermalogica. Ndzi Lorhe Africa is one of the most popular treatments, which integrates a preserved African body ritual with exfoliation, and relaxing body wraps coupled with an Inkaba body massage. There is also the Monkey Orange, which draws its inspiration from the actual Monkey orange fruit, which is part of the calabash family. When these fruits are dried, they are glided over the body and used to release tension at pressure points.

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that would like to tap into more of their creative side, there is mountain bike riding along the rugged areas. Your trip can also have a hint of romance to it with star gazing. With no city buildings to crowd the skylines, there is a full sky with brilliant stars shining above. It is truly a sight to see. If you are bringing a youthful family, archery is a great way to keep them busy with morning lessons. Wherever you are, it is always great to get a workout, and you can do just that in their fully equipped gyms, with views of the landscape.

singita boulders

Singita would not be Singita Boulders Lodge without the countless activities available to help engage visitors in surroundings like the guided safari walks. Walking safaris is an incredible way to experience the bush up close and personal. These walks are designed by expert guides and trackers who will accompany you through the wilderness as you explore a landscape containing a huge variety of animals. Who knows? There is a chance you may see a zebra, lion, leopard, buffalo or elephant while exploring the wild on foot! For those

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Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nice to have fun while being socially conscious, and here you can do just that. When you take into consideration the ample amounts of earth-like construction of Singita Boulders Lodge, this should give you ample implication to its eco-consciousness. It maintains a strong emphasis on eco-oriented hospitality and sustainable conservation in the local community and internationally.

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LIFESTYLE FEATURES Dove + Men Care

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Tonino Lamborghini The Dad I Never Knew Finding Fitness in the Mediterranean Addicted

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Lance Somerfeld: Not Your Average Dad

When you think “dad,” the classic image of a man in a dark grey suit, holding a bulging tan bag with scores of papers from work, enters his door way, while his children leap to him, asking him how is day was, then reaches out for his wife. This, of course is what one would deem to be the general nuclear family. But, in this new age, the idea of family is taking on a new meaning. Women do not just stay home waiting for their husbands to come home anymore, and husbands do not always just go to work; the dynamic of the “classic” family is changing.

LANCE SOMERFELD One of today’s emerging faces of the millennial family is Lance Somerfeld, a stay-at-home dad, founder of NYC Dads Group and the face of Dove Men +Care. This brand stems from the household name Dove, which most people feel comfortable incorporating into their everyday regiments. Dapper Dads Magazine had the opportunity to get a closer look at Somerfeld, a downto-earth, man who chose kids over his career and encourages other fathers to prioritize their children as well. Somerfeld’s road to full-time fatherhood was definitely a no-brainer for him. He held a corporate job, and so did his wife. He felt as if he wanted more time with his son and decided to step away. Most would expect some backlash when a man, often considered the bread-winner decides to take a back seat financially with his family. But, in Somerfeld’s case, he received an abundance of encouragement from his family as well as his friends and associates. This bold move led Somerfeld to start NYC Dads Group, which encourages full-time fatherhood and extended to freelance dads, working dads, involved fathers, part-time fathers and stay-at-home dads throughout the NYC area. This organization truly hit a group of individuals that were not recognized and now boasts a network of over 850 members who learn, socialize and share with one another.

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A ‘Skyfall’ Techno-Luxury

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A ‘Skyfall’ Techno-Luxury

Anteres Tonio Lamborghini

Tonino Lamborghini’s new Android Smartphone The Lamborghini brand is known for luxury and style when it comes to cars. Interestingly enough, the newest creation from the Tonino Lamborghini community is very much in line with the style and posh feel the brand has always been known for, except this time ….the engine is missing. Anteres. The name alone denotes excitement and high achievement. If you Google Anteres you will quickly find two intriguing bits of information which I believe was no coincidence : 1. Anteres is the 17th largest star in the nighttime sky and the brightest star in the Scorpio constellation known as the “the heart of Scorpio”. 2. Anteres is also the name of the NASA award winning rocket system, which also happens to be the largest rocket to ever have been operated by Orbital Science.*

So it’s no surprise that the legendary car company, Tonino Lamborghini has chosen this name to mark its new line of modern technology, the Anteres Smartphone (Android). The epitome of luxury and style meets innovation and modern techno-luxury for the successful and daring. The key features of this ‘phone’ (for lack of a more to-the-point descriptor), make it quite competitive with what is out there in the market of smart phone technology; it’s not just a pretty face.

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Anteres Android smartphone: Key Features - -

Tonio Lamborghini

So, why and who is this techno-luxury (I cannot take credit for coining this term, but secretly wish I could) smartphone designed for? Who is the ideal customer for such an extravagant piece of techno-jewelry (I take full credit for this one!) you may be wondering? Well, according to the Lamborghini website, the brand overall was designed as a lifestyle brand, complemented with its Italian heritage and boasting luxury at its core.

The Tonino Lamborghini Group is a brand that was originally established in 1981 in Bologna, Italy. Their vision is to bring the passion and spirit of Italy to the global forefront. The Group designs and develops a dynamic range of luxury products and experiences, including smartphones, smartphone accessories, watches, eyewear, jewelery, home furnishings, clothing, sports accessories, Italian beverages, 5-star boutique hotels and uber stylish reso-lounges globally; It is truly a lifestyle brand. All of

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Tonio Lamborghini

- - - - -

Android 4.2 Jelly Bean smartphone (which is the most widely used mobile platform on Earth) Quad core processor which has a 1.5GHz CPU (which makes it slightly faster than the average smartphone) using a Qualcomm Snapdragon S4 Pro processing Boasts a touch screen keypad which is encased in damage resistant gorilla glass Weighs in at 170g, which is slightly heavier than the average smartphone 35% thicker than the average smartphone (13.5mm) 5 megapixel camera Gives the user a whopping 2048MB of RAM which gives a definite edge over most smartphones

the product lines are branded with the iconic ‘Raging Bull’, a recognizable symbol of the Tonino Lamborghini Group. For those wondering why I omitted the infamous vehicles which tend to be synonymous with the Lamborghini name, it was intentional. Although the car company was founded by Tonino’s father Ferruccio Lamborghini in 1963, today it belongs to the Audi-VW AG Group.

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So enough with the history lesson, present day Lamborghini is still at the top of its game when it comes to top luxury brands and the introduction of the Anteres Android phone simply amplifies that through its sleek design among other attributes. The Anteres is constructed from a single piece of steel and hand polished with the insignia opulently embossed on to the handset. The lifestyle intonations with a product such as this is one of wealth and opulence. Specifically, with its highly stylized design, being a stylist and fashion observer, I cannot help but envision the Anteres smartphone being a perfect pairing with an array of sophisticated looks whether you are rocking a sleek fitted Tom Ford suit, tie and coordinating pocket square or a sexy chic LBD (Little Black Dress) underneath your Burberry classic cropped trench and lux leather stilettos. As you can see, the chic understated pebbled leather contrasted with the polished rose

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gold metallic is in line with the fashion industry for fall 14/15. The trends of leather and mixing metals is not just a fad-ish style trend, but elements of classic fashion and style. Combined with the introduction of the Groups’ new line of headphones and leather cases, this smartphone (and accessories of course) would be a perfect addition to anyone’s techno-luxury collection. At a hefty price tag of $4000 USD, the Lamborghini Anteres smartphone is not for the faint of heart but I do believe that it is for the understated luxury lover who knows that less is more and that from an aesthetic perspective, a quality design such as the Anteres is at the top of any chic sophisticate’s list. The Anteres overall is proving to be the perfect collision of luxury and style, making it a must-have… if you can justify the price tag!

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THE DAD I NEVER KNEW: Dissecting A Parallel Universe By Vinnie Adams

“

In 1954, a Princeton doctoral candidate named Hugh Everett III introduced the world to this idea that there are other universes like ours, branched off and existing simultaneously, with outcomes different from what we know. This idea was further dramatized for sci-fi enthusiasts everywhere in 5 straight (great) seasons of Fox TV’s “Fringe”, where the characters traveled between two worlds trying to right the wrong of a single man’s mistake- motivated by the love for his son and an unquenchable desire to be with him- and significantly impacting the outcome of world events on both sides of the parallel universes they lived in. They had the unique luxury of both communicating with, as well as learning from, other versions of themselves. But sci-fi fantasies aside and from a more grounded perspective, have you ever lived through an experience and then wished it had played out differently? Or have you wrestled with a life that plays out differently than what you envisioned for yourself ? In science fiction, we can time travel and dimension jump in an attempt to make things turn out the way we think they should. But in the real world, we’ve only got this one life to endure and figure it all out.

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WHAT HE BECAME WAS BETTER THAN WHAT HE WAS

n my life, there are two ways I have been taught to remember my life. There’s the way that it was from youth up until the day my dad died on June 7th, 2001. And then, there was everything that happened afterwards. The dad that I knew was responsible for the hard work that allowed most of my life to be spent living in houses, rather than apartments. The dad I knew gave me homework outside of school, which served to sharpen me up in ways that play a key role in my ability to write these words today. The dad I knew had an ego a mile long and poured a great deal of effort, leisure time and money educating, cultivating, promoting and managing the creative deluge that flowed from his five children. But the very same dad I knew, had the brilliance and brain power to be a doctor, but opted instead for the temporary pleasures of substance abuse, drinking away a large part of what could have been some of his most productive years professionally. The very same dad I knew would awaken my mother in the wee hours by emptying a half carton of milk in her face while she slept – he, of course, acting on alcoholic impulse. He would use his drunkenness as a stage to showcase his education and brilliance in long soliloquies on how and why a cow is a ruminant. This residue from his training in veterinary surgery would find its way out somehow. And then one day…he stopped. He stopped hanging out, hanging with the drinking crowd that almost got him divorced; stopped breaking down doors with a sledgehammer in search of his two youngest kids, in their aunt, the babysitter’s care; but also, stopped showing real affection for my mom…he just plain stopped. So in the clean up process, it would appear that the ‘L’ word got cleaned out too. You know, come to think of it, that’s not a word Iever heard from him growing up. But I digress… Nonetheless, what he became was better than what he was when the bottle was talking. AA was there at just the right time. Later,

“

fast forward, I turned my life over to Christ and he lead the way in persecution, accusing my brother and I of being in a CULT and pulling in my mom to join him in this crusade. This was the same mom that urged me to go back to church in the first place – go figure?! Yes, this was the dad that I knew. This was the dad who for as active as he was in many things, never knew what girls I liked, never talked to me about manhood or how to be one or the life skills and self-sufficiency I needed to pursue – he told me I needed to get a job to help out, but never explained what I was supposed to do with that freedom or how. Much of the latter came from my mom. He was a military veteran; a dad of order, ego and permission. We had no emotional connection.

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The Eagle

Maybe now, you can understand how conflicted I was when he passed away and I wrestled with the question: “What do I really want to share about all these (negative) things at a funeral?” I was at a complete loss. However, determined to find the good, I recalled that he had actually written one song in his lifetime – one that he collaborated on with my older brother, John. At that time in his life, he had started taking up guitar and dabbled in music a bit. I always thought this an oddly interesting departure from his daily life as a pharmaceutical salesman, working for the company that introduced the world to Kaopectate, Motrin and Rogaine. Still in all, the song was an accessible crowning achievement in my mind and worthy of some highlight at his funeral – an event that I would have otherwise thought to be a potentially depressing and miserable experience. So, upon returning from the hospital on that fateful day, I began my search. I did indeed find that song, entitled “Life Goes On.” There was something else there too; something that I couldn’t have predicted, but it changed my life and my memories forever. I found this:

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Oh matchless master of the feathered breed! If I could soar to such a lofty height In thought, ambition, yes, even indeed As you do in your ceaseless upward flight-If I could breast misfortune’s windy ride-Look hate and envy in the eye, As even you the elements defied-Yet higher soar triumphant in the sky. If I could weave an airy nest of dreams Like that where now you rest supreme, unmoved by this disjointed world, man’s evil schemes-The tank, the bomb and many more unproved-Then I’d replough this wretched field of men and replant here a garden of eden. This poem was first published in THE STARS AND STRIPES in 1954 while I was a member of 22nd infantry regimental combat team of the 4th infantry division of the US army.

This poem and quite a few others were found resting in dormant silence in the annals of his file cabinet, awaiting providential discovery in this very moment. And I thought, “Who was this man, expressing himself with such love, sensitivity and thoughtful eloquence? Who was this hopeless romantic hiding away in the file cabinet that we were never allowed to touch?” All of who I am and thought I was was suddenly explained by this ironic crash course in history. I am an artist in many forms and have identified as such since the age of 7. But given history of my relationship with my dad, I couldn’t seem to identify where the connection was. With my mom and her musical siblings, the connection was clear. Our first lessons in music came from listening to and watching her, as she practiced on the piano in our living room. But for my gifts in writing and public speaking, I didn’t see anything from my dad that made a strong case…until now. I wanted so much to be able to speak about where I came from in the context of a family legacy, but so much of that vision had been blurred by my dad’s alcohol addiction. I just didn’t feel completely whole in my reflection on his life. But now I had found a major missing piece. The shackles had been broken by his death, with this discovery. The pain of negativity had been released, as in child birth when mother beams joyfully holding her new creation for the first time – but with complete amnesia of the ‘wretched’ ordeal required in bringing it forth. From my mom’s history, I know and understand why I sing. But now from my dad, my natural inclinations toward doing the very same thing as him, in the same way, for the same reason were validated in that very moment of my discovery. Now, I really know who I am. It was as if a dormant part of my life was born; I was getting to know him all over again through different eyes. Now, I couldn’t wait to tell the world about the dad I never knew because he was just like me. Welcome to my alternate reality, my second chance, my dance with the parallel universe.

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“

GOD RESCUED MY MEMORIES AND GAVE ME THE CONTEXT OF THE JOY I HAD SOUGHT. “ The reality of my life and memories prior to my discovery could easily have read as none too unique or special. It could have been another sad but familiar story of a talented kid with a dad who could have been more, but had demons to conquer just to maintain. I could have gone blindly forward into a continued pattern of negative memories and shrugged off the dark moments as just part of the deal. But there is also an emotional paralysis that comes with negativity; an identity crisis unresolved. The deferred hope of connection with my dad could have become the basis of a different kind of book than the one I authored two years ago – my first book ever. I could have talked potentially about that permanent sense of loss and unredemption, due to a lack of vision for how I was supposed to turn out and what skills I would use to get there. I could have been more unhappy and insecure about the gifts God gave me because I couldn’t see it in my dad. But you know there’s just somethin’ about dads. They make you write a lot (smile). I could have become all the things I mentioned and more… but I didn’t. You see, at just the right time, with this pivotal discovery, God rescued my memories and gave me the context of the joy I had sought. So, what did I do with that information since then? Write. And write….and write…and write some more. Out of that writing came several new poetic works of my own. But the one of which I am the most proud comes from a fragment that I found of one of his works. It was a romantic poem the he had started, but never finished. All I found was his scribble sheet. When I read it, a flame of energy blazed in me as I realized, “I get it!” That finished product became the first and only posthumous, artistic collaboration between me and my dad. It was me that gave it a title; it was he that brought it to life. In parting, I will share it with you here and as you read, tell me if you can see where he ended and I began… truly, through these words, I became free.

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You, Me and the Moon

DapperDadsMag.com OCTOBER 2014

If Walter Bishop were here, he would relate. He was the dad that Peter, his son, never knew. But the most redemptive part of their story is this: when Peter learned who his dad really was in the other universe and compared him to the one that was with him all along, he made a decision based on love, not entitlement. His connections were formed in the heart, not the head. His allegiance was to the relationship built by the common ground they shared- not to the biological facts that exist in an alternate reality. Today, I can now say with confidence that I love what my dad made in me and in all of his faults, I can still see that in this reality, my father and I are one. And that’s a good thing.

If I were a moonbeam-keeping watch at night I’d steal an hour off my guard to be with you I’d tell my other moonbeam pals, I’d be returning soon And to watch out for the sarge-the man in the moon I’d take you on a little trip In a dreamboat made for two We’ll tour the entire Milky WayLimitless – when I travel with you We would surf the Auroras, with their misty haze And I’d watch how they highlight your hair We would go steal a star we could call our own So when I look up, I can always find you there. And when the time slowly creeps upon the hour of my return, I’d spread my arms open wide to light your way… And I’d gently place you back into the care of our fate, Then I resume my post …and I’d pray. I’d pray to God, who made You, Me & The Moon That we’d live as one someday… One in life, one in soul, one in heart, one in love It’s my dream that we’ll live and die this way. …Love is patient.

(J.J.

Adams

Adams,

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You wrote IF ONLY, which was a very popular film internationally and on ABC Family, do you have a love for movies I like to call- romance tragedy movies or movies about couples and the things they endure? I think I am drawn to human stories. I’m drawn to drama and so much about drama is about relationships, and about love relationships. I think that they tend to attract me yeah.

Ha Ha Ha wow! Well, that’s a great question. Well nothing jumps at the top of my head I can think of, but you know as a writer I have so many private writer thoughts that I feel like I am keeping secrets all the time in a small way. I am not hiding things from people that I love but I have got these private thoughts and I am in my writers head a lot and that’s sort of so insular, you know what I’m saying?

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