Darling Magazine Richmond/Kingston - Autumn 2019 by Darling Magazine UK

Caoimhe Bamber

Founder of Digme Fitness BACK TO BUSINESS with Really Helpful Club

LOOK YOUR BEST SELF with a menopause makeover WOMEN TO WATCH in craft beer & wine

OUR SCHOOLS GUIDE pick of the best HIGH STREET SPECIAL MARY PORTAS & Teddington traders talk shop

DALLAGLIOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S RUGBYWORKS taking the game to the classroom

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editor’s letter Change is in the air!

Cover Girl: Caoimhe Bamber Photography: Gail Fogarty Makeup: Madeleine Feeney

Publisher Darling Magazine UK Karine Torr Editor Marja-Leena Toseland All Enquiries 07802 949836 Email richmond@darlingmagazine.co.uk kingston@darlingmagazine.co.uk Contributors Anita Feron Clark Dr Mariette Jansen Paul Mendelson Lyndsay Russell Photography Annie Armitage anniearmitage.com Design Sky Gránia Young sky@fairoglee.com Print Direct Colour Ltd mark@directcolour.com Distribution Right Distribution Ltd rightdistribution.co.uk@gmail.com Darling Wimbledon Karine Torr: 07930 396356 Darling North Surrey Karine Torr: 07930 396356 Marja-Leena Toseland: 07802 949836 Whilst every care has been taken to ensure that the data in this publication is accurate, neither the publisher nor its editorial contributors can accept, and hereby disclaim, any liability to any party to loss or damage caused by errors or omissions resulting from negligence, accident or any other cause. Darling Magazine does not officially endorse any advertising material included within this publication. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form – electronic, recording or otherwise, without prior permission from the publisher.

I promise to stay clear of Brexit. Our corner of SW London is where it’s all happening. We’ve found three fabulous women to watch as they excel in running their craft beer and wine companies. We also asked traders in Teddington, including Mary Portas, what’s needed to keep their high street thriving. Changing schools is a huge thing for a child. Our schools guide of some of the best in our area will help you in your search for your child’s next big step. The Really Helpful Club’s Back to Biz event will address fears we have about returning to work after a career break and Anita Feron Clark’s Menopause Makeover gives you a new lease of life when you are facing ‘the change’. Influencing attitudes is easier the younger you are. Shamim Sarif shares her experience of growing up gay and why she thinks LTGBQ+ teaching belongs to primary schools. Don’t miss our Point of View column by Lyndsay Russell who goes back to uni as her daughter heads to the world of work after graduating. To start your read you’ll find our Inspiring Woman, Caoimhe Bamber’s story about her brave leap into the unknown after a career as a City lawyer to become a fitness entrepreneur. PS Lots of excitement at Darling HQ! We are exploring new avenues to take our advertises and the Darling community to new heights. Watch this space. Keep an eye on darlingmagazine.co.uk for news. Until Winter… Marja-Leena Toseland, Editor @darlingonthames @Darling Magazine Richmond & Kingston Contents 4

Back to Business day with Really Helpful Club

Our Inspiring Woman Caoimhe Bamber, founder of Dime Fitness shares her story

Local women to watch in the drinks industry

Mary Portas and other traders in Teddington talk about the future of their high street

Sheen Hair Salon chooses organic

Wildlife photographer Alex Saberi’s exhibition at the Ivy Café Richmond

Menopause makeover with image consultant Anita Feron Clark

Our editor tried cosmetic acupuncture for the first time

On the couch with Dr De-Stress

Local independent schools guide

Together Equal takes the conversation to primary schools in Surbiton

Dallaglio RugbyWorks on helping teens to stay in education

Mental health and education - know your rights with the help of Russell-Cooke Solicitors

Earn 10% yields on your rental property with Buy To Let Hunter

Peter Mendelson’s bridge column

Julie Derbyshire addresses scamming with her art

Award-winning filmmaker Shamim Sarif on why LTGBQ+ teaching is needed at schools

A cremation funeral by White Rose Modern Funerals

On the Scene social photo pages

Roots programme at the Vineyard Community Centre in Richmond

What’s On this autumn - our diary pages

Lyndsay Russell’s Point of View

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business promo event promo

Want help getting back to work?

Sarah Austin Founder of Really Helpful Club

Really Helpful Club ‘Back to Business’ day, helping to realise your dreams

Dame Helena Morrissey DBE

e’ve all experienced that feeling of dread on returning to work after a holiday. But, when that return comes after a career break of months or years, the stakes can be considerably higher. Your path back to work can involve retraining, expanding your network or taking a leap into self-employment.

‘An exciting opportunity to recognise your own talent and transferable skills and put them to good use’ Career breaks can happen for a number of reasons; bringing up a family, an illness, caring 4

for an elderly relative, or after a travel adventure. The common denominator is that returning to work has its challenges. You may need new skills and you may want greater flexibility. Perhaps you’ll start your own business or grow a side project? Or you might even want to dip your toe in the water by becoming a volunteer. It can be daunting, but it’s also an exciting opportunity to recognise your own talent and transferable skills, put them to good use and make a difference. At Really Helpful Club, we’re helping returners re-engage with the workplace, start or grow their own business with our ‘Back to Business Realising Your Dreams’ event on Wednesday 9th October. We’re delighted to welcome leading City businesswoman Dame Helena Morrissey as our keynote speaker. Workshops and seminars will cover returning to work, looking for flexible options, career coaching and confidence-building, social media, marketing and investment funding, and volunteering. Our aim is to

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inspire new directions, help you make new connections and meet like-minded people. Whether you’re at a crossroads in your current path or you want to progress to the next stage, this seminar is for you! In the build-up to this event, we’re really excited to be launching a brand new jobs board, along with a careers and business hub, on the Really Helpful Club website. Our ever-growing membership (15,000 and counting) already have access to our buzzing community forums and directory of recommended businesses, in addition to a full programme of informative, inspiring and interesting events which will run throughout the Autumn. Early bird tickets are available for £49, including refreshments and lunch. Wednesday 9th October Roehampton University caroline@reallyhelpfulclub.com

More information about membership and events can be found at reallyhelpfulclub.com

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CAOIMHE BAMBER races ahead to create the best in London’s fitness market

Caoimhe at Digme Fitness spin studio in Richmond Photography by Gail Fogarty

Our Editor Marja-Leena catches up with Caoimhe at her Richmond spin studio Digme Fitness

o climb to the top in the extremely competitive fitness industry requires both insider expertise and excellent business sense. Caoimhe is a very accomplished athlete with numerous marathons, ultramarathons and even an Ironman behind her, and with a successful career as a City

lawyer, she understands what it takes to perform at a top level as an entrepreneur. Her husband Geoff, armed with an MBA from Stanford GSB and top finance experience in managing hedge funds, joined Digme early on as a CEO. He is also equally nuts about fitness and competes at the highest level at Ironman races. Setting up a spinning studio isn’t the average career change for most City lawyers. Where did your inspiration come from?

“I was on maternity leave with our first son and had fully intended to go back to work in the City. This was the first time I had any proper time off work and had a chance to think with a clear head. I couldn’t see how I could be the mum I wanted to be and at the same time continue with my career of long days in the office and a lot of international travel. I had a real lightbulb moment running around Richmond Park pushing Alex in the buggy. I knew then

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inspiring woman continued from page 5

that I wanted to set up my own business in fitness. My goal was to create a studio that inspires people to enjoy effective exercise in a supportive, motivating and fun environment. I really wanted to build a community around exercise. Richmond is a great place to live but there was no spin studio here, so that seemed like a good place to start (and the studio is a convenient 5 minute walk from home!).” You have now opened five studios in just three years, four in London including your first studio in Richmond, the others in Blackfriars, Rathbone Square in Fitzrovia and Moorgate and also one in Oxford. Your sixth studio will open soon in Ealing and you have also launched a franchise model to help you expand to new locations outside London, even abroad. What lies behind your rapid success? “Both Geoff and I are fully committed to the business, attending regular classes as well as working full time on building the business. We have a fantastic team of people who are as committed as we are to building the brand in line with our core values of inclusivity, authenticity and positivity. We get fantastic feedback from locals who regularly stop us in Richmond for a chat. This in turn gives us overwhelming support for our expansion plans from members who go on to become team members or investors. Being an athlete or trainer who is 6

able to turn their passion into a successful, scalable business is a surprisingly rare combination. There are many superb trainers who decide to set up their own thing, or businessminded people who launch a studio without being really tapped into fitness; but to succeed beyond one or two locations, I believe you need a bit of both.”

Working with Geoff does have one drawback - we find it hard to switch off work in the evening! We love to chat about our respective days at work and we’re always dreaming up new and exciting ideas for Digme. We have one important rule though; curfew at ten o’clock for any mention of work.” Is a spin studio a good place for a novice to start their fitness journey?

“My vision was to have a studio that everyone loves, whatever their level of fitness or age and whether they want to come once Caoimhe and Geoff with their boys celebrating Digme’s 3rd birthday in June this year a week or every day. Our classes suit everyone, from How important is your serious athletes to those wanting to husband’s support and attend one fun class a week. Our hands-on help at home and spin classes are suitable for any with bringing up your two fitness level as you can adjust our young sons to your personal Keiser bikes to your ability and business success? still follow the instructor and class. “Geoff is wonderful and we are Our technology is also amazing a true team both at home and – it allows our members to track at work. We’ve always got each their individual class performance other’s back. He’s a super dad, and see their progress over time. truly hands-on with the children We find this really helps with and shares childcare with me. motivation and engagement.” He’s also the better cook so that’s You have supported former more his domain whilst I’m England rugby captain better at keeping the house in Lawrence Dallaglio’s order. It’s not just the practical RugbyWorks charity. How support that’s important but have you helped them? also the emotional support for everything I do that really is invaluable. I don’t have any family close by (my family are in Ireland and Denmark) so we really need to work as a team. We value that our two boys see us sharing the workload.

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“Dallaglio RugbyWorks is our main charity partner. Lawrence has been a regular since we first opened in Richmond and has been wonderfully supportive of Digme. Dallaglio RugbyWorks organises a big charity ride every two years

Caoimhe running London Marathon, April 2019

Caoimhe running Boston Marathon

called the Dallaglio CycleSlam the next one will be in summer 2020 and they have already opened registration for the event. They manage to raise an extraordinary amount of money at every Slam over £1 million over their 15 day cycle tour. We offer them our training facilities and support – for example, hosting longer, private training sessions for them to help with their preparation. They also recently set up the Dallaglio Cycling Club for their “Slammers” and the wider public. They’re a terrific bunch of people with rugby legends, actors, pop stars, and all kinds of interesting people in the mix. Digme supports the Club by providing, for example, a discount for members. When you are not working or training, what do you enjoy doing? “I don’t have time for some of the things I used to be passionate about, like reading or wandering around art galleries. Now I’m lucky to be able to finish the occasional business book! I love

working out and always make time for this. I’ve taken part in some wonderful races like the Comrades

“My vision was to have a studio that everyone loves, whatever their level of fitness or age and whether they want to come once a week or every day. Our classes suit everyone, from serious athletes to those wanting to attend one fun class a week” ultramarathon. It’s a 90km route through the beautiful Valley of 1000 hills in South Africa and is the world’s oldest ultramarathon. Geoff and I actually met in a spin and run class when I was training for an ultra and he was training for an Ironman. He tried to persuade me to do an Ironman at that time but I dismissed it as my swimming wasn’t up to the

challenge. However, I changed my mind after I went to support Geoff in Hawaii at the Ironman World Championships in 2010. Whilst there, I spent some time on beautiful Digme Beach where the race starts. I met and heard the tales of Ironman’s most inspiring people: the man who worked out how to tow his (grown up) son who had cerebral palsy around the course so he could experience the magic of Ironman; Lew Hollander who was racing in the 80-84 year age group. A few days later, I watched Lew dance up onto the stage at prizegiving, to a tremendous standing ovation, after winning his age group. He told us he had finally won his first Kona because he had managed to outlive all those fast guys! For me, Digme Beach is all about real people working hard to achieve their dreams. As Ironmen say, “Impossible is nothing”. It was this spirit of Digme Beach that inspired me to enter my first Ironman. What else could we name our studio?!” digmefitness.com

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Women to Watch

IN THE WORLD OF DRINK

n each issue we dedicate a feature to women who are doing a brilliant job as pioneers in a traditionally male-dominated industry. This time we talked to three women; two with a passion

for craft beer and brewing, and also to a highly acclaimed wine expert. The tide is turning and jobs such as bartending at top bars and hotels, head of a drinks brand, director of a drinks festival or a drinks

journalist are increasingly won over by women. The list is endless in this exciting industry - I hope the stories of Pamela, Jenna and Susie inspire you if you are thinking about a career in the drink industry.

Accountancy BE FOR YOU? COULD

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Annie Lee, Corporate Client Director at WSM talks about her career Tell us a bit about your business

What is your area of expertise?

WSM is a UK top 100 chartered accountancy practice who provide tax, accounting, audit, consulting and insolvency services to businesses operating in the UK, personal tax services to private clients and specialist UK tax services to international property investors and alternative investment funds.

My expertise is in business advisory to small and medium sized businesses including not for proďŹ t organisations and charities.

What do you enjoy most about what you do? Solving my clients tax problems is what drives me, knowing that I have given them peace of mind and assurance that their tax affairs are all in order is the most satisfying part of my job and what I truly enjoy.

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What has been your best tax advice in the last few years? All taxpayers have a right to arrange their affairs to minimise their tax liability. I tell my clients to maximise their annual personal allowance, otherwise it will be lost; donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forget to claim gift aid on your donations and pension tax relief each tax year. Your tax bill will be reduced. Annie.Lee@wsm.co.uk wsm.co.uk

women at work promo

Hannibal Brown, Pamela on the right

Pamela Gregory, Hannibal Brown Wines, Worcester Park

Susie Statham, 7000 Jars of Beer, Kingston

After 25 years of buying, trading and blending literally billions of litres of wine, Pamela wanted to start a business where everyone would have the opportunity to buy great, affordable wines. With an impressive career including Head of Wine for the Conran Restaurant Group and Harrods, and Director for the prestigious Justerini & Brooks (Royal Warrant Holder and supplier to the Queen’s cellar), Pam was in a perfect position to source excellent wines for consumers.

Following a couple years working in a small brewery in London I was looking for a challenge and realised that whilst craft beer was creeping its way into Kingston (my hometown) there weren’t many establishments specifically dedicated to bringing these delicious beers to the town. So, I set about opening 7000 Jars.

Together with Jude King, they launched Hannibal Brown Wines in 2012 as a specialist online wine retailer. More recently, they developed a unique label design and personalisation service for both private and corporate customers. They run two websites for the two sides of the business:

Customers can drink-in or take away and have over 150 beers to choose from, including four draft beer taps. We also have a diverse range of artisanal wines, gins and whiskeys. I strive to work with only small independently run producers and choose my stock based on those who put quality, creativity and taste above anything else. I also make a special effort to operate sustainably and even offer a zero-waste solution for taking draft beer home.

hannibalbrown.com personalisedwinedesign.co.uk

7000jarsofbeer.co.uk contact@7000jarsofbeer.co.uk

Jenna Dunseath, Real Ale, Twickenham I studied Biological Sciences at Salford university and hadn’t considered a job in brewing until a Project Brewer role came up in the lab at Greene King Bury where my first project was to optimize the CIP (Cleaning In Place) of the Yeast Brinks (tanks). Moving back to London I worked at Stag Brewery Mortlake in fermentation and as a Shift Packaging Manager for the next six years. In that time I had two children and finished my Master Brewer exams. Now I head up the Technical team at Real Ale on Richmond Road. We specialise in craft beers, natural wines and spirits from small producers from around the world and supply M&S with their craft beer and cider range. I work in partnership with breweries, as well as auditing M&S approved packaging sites, to ensure quality beer and cider products in all M&S stores. realale.com jenna@realale.com

business promo

Let’s hear it

FROM TEDDINGTON TRADERS

Our high streets are living through turbulent times and many retailers, large and small are closing their shops for good. However, business is thriving in Teddington High Street and where a wealth of independent services, retailers and eateries have been trading for years, even decades. Together with the more recent arrivals they form a vital part of the community. Our Editor Marja-Leena talked to the traders in Teddington, including Mary Portas, Queen of the High Street, about their economic prospects and

asked each trader the following questions; 1: What’s the biggest threat to your business in the current economic climate?

2: What support do you need most from both the local and central governments in order to keep your business and Teddington thriving?

MARY’S LIVING AND GIVING The Save the Children charity shop embodies Mary Portas’s philosophy of inspiring the community and bringing it to life. By promoting local events, hosting pop up shops, and engaging with other High Street retailers, in addition to selling a vibrant array of 10

pre-loved clothing, this shop, run by an army of energetic volunteers, is thriving. Exorbitant rents and rates are blamed for the shops that are not. Manager Jackie Beedle attributes MLG Teddington’s success to understanding and

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reacting to customer’s needs. “A weather change brings new clothes to the shop floor, and bargains are often on offer ahead of holidays. Prada and other designer shoes are accessible to the many rather than the few. Huge growth in the online sector is something the Government

business promo needs to curb to retain the health of High Street sales. For now this shop’s heartbeat is strong as it helps customers embrace sustainability, contribute to a great cause, and find the perfect outfit, whether it be for a fun fancy dress party or an unexpected invitation to Buckingham Palace.” MARY PORTAS FOUNDER OF MARY’S LIVING AND GIVING 1. “Not putting the community at the heart of our shops and not adapting to the fast-changing market are the biggest threats to our existence as a charity shop on the high street. Businesses need to have the confidence to respond to exactly what their customers are looking for, which is the entire reason I set up MLG in the first place – there was a huge

gap in the market for high-end, community run charity shops and we have now filled that gap for

“With sustainability, community and integrity being the most important values driving millennials buying choices, MLG is a business for the future of High Streets. We pioneered these values 10 years ago and our vision had given us a robust business model for the future. Our shops are destinations.” over a decade. By adapting the model of a traditional ‘charity shop’ and continually innovating

and putting the local community at the heart of every shop, we’ve managed to raise over £21million for children around the world.” 2. “Local shops and businesses have always been the heartbeat of our towns and neighbourhoods and the shop in Teddington is a shining example of this. We would not exist if the local community did not continue to generously give us their time, donations and love. But the Government, both local and centrally, could do a lot more to support local communities of dedicated volunteers and local business owners, by putting sensible business rates at the heart of any future plans.” 93 High Street TW11 8HG savethechildren.org

THE FRENCH TARTE Since its arrival at the High Street in early 2014, The French Tarte has been welcoming locals for breakfast, lunch and tea, with its delightful little Gallic boulangerie and patisserie at this charmingly intimate venue. The cafe-patisserie serves up a myriad of home-baked goodies, from chorizo, olive and sourdough breads to signature pastries and cakes. The French Tarte is one of three patisseries owned by Eric and Sarah Guignard who also own the fine dining restaurant, The French Table in Surbiton.

Eric Guignard, owner and head chef: ’In the current economic climate, the biggest threat to us is rising food costs. There is only so much that I am comfortable to pass on to my customers as it’s hugely important to us to remain honest and competitive in order to retain our regular, loyal clientele as well as attract new business.’ ’I would like to see a full review of tax and VAT contributions made by small, independent businesses like us.’ 45 High Street, TW11 8HA thefrenchtarte.co.uk darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

business promo continued from page 11

THE KING’S HEAD Part of the White Brasserie group of award-winning pubs. The pub itself is very cosy with a large bar, inviting snugs, open fireplaces and a wonderful walled patio at the back. The history of the building gives it unique appeal, added to by Polly and her

team who are undeniably charming, attentive and knowledgeable. “Two main issues are Brexit and the battle of high business rates which, we have seen, results in the loss of lovely independents. We have managed the weather the storm with fantastic local support being a real local pub at the heart of the community.

If everyone pulls together we can collectively support the Teddington community. We are lucky that Teddington businesses work well together to bring about events that benefit everyone, such as saving the fantastic annual Teddington Lights Up.” 123 High Street, TW11 8HG whitebrasserie.com

RUBA LEBANESE CUISINE sharing and socialising, whether you visit with family, groups of friends or as a couple. Mazen: As a restaurant serving a specialised cuisine, the biggest threat in the current economic climate is the difficulty of finding the right staff. Restaurant businesses rely on consistency and great customer service to succeed, grow and thrive.

Mazen Bou Antoun and his experienced team opened Ruba in December 2018 and it’s been hugely popular ever since the opening. They serve mouthwatering mezze, sizzling grilled meats and fish, using only top quality and the freshest of ingredients. Their Lebanese hospitality, atmosphere and service is ideal for 12

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Brexit and the weakened pound have a big effect on recruitment for us. I would like to see the government opening up more opportunities for recruitment of experienced and talented people from outside the EU. This is key to maintaining our high level of customer service and for us to continue offering authenticity and diversity to our community. Teddington is a great place to live and work, and has a strong and supportive community. Together, we can keep Teddington thriving and successful. 132 High Street, TW11 8JB rubarestaurant.co.uk

business promo

SHAMBLES RESTAURANT Shambles opened in 1983 and is run by the Langella family who have been running restaurants and businesses on the High Street for almost 50 years. In this time, Teddington has evolved from a quite rundown suburbia, to one of the best places in the country to live. Shambles offers a simple, seasonally focused, Italian inspired menu that changes daily. They deeply care about being sustainable, using amazing produce with some fruits and vegetables are grown on site. Massimo Langella, co-owner: “The biggest pinch we felt as a High Street business was when a ‘change of use’ came to force. Local corporate businesses were allowed by the

local authorities to change their buildings ‘use’ from commercial to residential. This will boost evening trade for some, however, this decision has diminished daytime footfall and in turn, a lower population of shoppers. Since then, we have also lost three of our High Street banks throughout the whole year.” “A little word - tax. Business rates are becoming unsustainable and it needs to be addressed not just for our businesses, but for the sake of our towns. Simply punishing online businesses isn’t necessarily the answer. Local authorities should also establish teams to manage a programme of activities that drive footfall to our High Streets.” 85 High Street, TW11 8HG shamblesbar-restaurant.co.uk

ONE ONE FOUR A husband and wife team, Alex and Sam Berry, have mixed innovation and international cuisine in order to offer contemporary dining in a relaxed and beautiful environment. The food is inspired by fresh, seasonal and locally sourced ingredients, paired with an eclectic selection of wines, gin and innovative cocktails. Sam: “For me, Teddington is a local community that’s growing as more people move out to the suburbs. As a whole I believe Teddington needs to look at the high street as a destination spot. We have the riverside, Bushy Park & Hampton Court Palace on our doorstep. Teddington is one of the surrounding areas that is lucky enough to have such a buzzing high-street.

High quality restaurants and boutique shops have a huge draw and the focus should be on attracting people from the surrounding areas rather than blaming the competition and the government.’’ 114 - 116 High Street, TW11 8JB oneonefour.co.uk darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

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SHEEN HAIR SALON

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“Around three years ago, I developed terrible problems with my hands. They became sore, swollen, cracked, with peeling skin and painful joints. I was desperate to find out what was causing it. I was referred to a dermatologist, who went on to patch test me for allergies and in particular the ingredient ParaPhenyleneDiamine (PPD) used in hair colour. The results revealed that it wasn’t hair colour or PPD which was causing the problem, but a severe contact allergy to Nickel and Methylisothiazolinone a preservative commonly used in hair, beauty and cleaning products. My hands improved, but a year ago I found out that I had gained four new allergens, one being PPD. The only way to avoid a reaction was with zero exposure to these ingredients. As a hairdresser, as you can imagine, this caused a huge problem for me. I started to investigate and research my concerns further”.

Manufacturers have introduced us to new lifestyle choices for almost everything we consume and the hair and beauty industry is no different, products are commonly marketed as organic, natural, vegan and cruelty free. But whilst consumers are becoming more savvy when it comes to “safe” products and ingredients, I believe we still have a long way to go with the right information and advice and how we make an informed decision when it comes to protecting our health. Introducing Natulique In our pursuit to provide the best possible products available, Sheen has partnered with Natulique and introduced a certified organic and vegan professional styling and colour system to their salon. Natulique demands the safest and cleanest possible ingredients to ensure the safest products within the professional hair care industry, with less chemicals and better functionality. The team have been extensively testing and researching Natulique products over the last year. We wanted complete confidence in

its results for our clients knowing it delivers on every level. The colour range offers 84 shades with minimum exposure to toxins and the lowest level of PPD of any other professional hair colour with no ammonia, parabens or Phenoxyethanol, artificial perfumes or colours. It covers grey 100% and achieves incredible depth, tone, shine and healthy gorgeous hair. It’s perfect for anyone wanting a safer choice when colouring and styling their hair without compromising their health or the results. Making this choice for our customers and my team, was an easy one. When you have two choices which give you the same results, the safer option is always the winner. It’s a no brainer! Come and see for yourself.

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A walk ON THE WILD SIDE

o need to put your wellies on for this! The Ivy Café, Richmond is pleased to announce its collaboration with wildlife photographer, Alex Saberi. The photography campaign is a tribute to the local area and wildlife that the borough of Richmond has to offer, from Richmond Park to the Thames riverside.

The Ivy Café’s private dining room will be transformed into an exhibition space for guests to browse an array of beautiful photographs captured by wildlife photographer Alex Saberi over the years. Alex is a National Geographic photographer from London, best known for his two long-term photographic projects, Richmond Park and Ubatuba, both of which have books published on the

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subject and the photos have appeared in a multitude of publications throughout the world. Alex is currently finishing off a second edition of his Richmond Park book, due to be published in the spring of 2020. As part of this ongoing campaign, The Ivy Café, Richmond has made a donation to The Friends of Richmond Park, a charity dedicated to the conservation and protection of the park and its peaceful and natural beauty and to advance public education. The exhibition is open to visitors until Sunday, 29 September at The Isabella Room, Ivy Café, Richmond. Photos are for sale and can be viewed at prints.alexsaberi.com theivycaferichmond.com

change TIME FOR

Anita Feron Clark, multi award winning image consultant with Colour Me Beautiful

Anita Feron Clark

re you perimenopausal, going through the menopause or have you come out the other end? Have you undergone a huge change in the way you look and feel? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, then a Menopause Makeover consultation is for you. What’s involved? The four hour Menopause Makeover consultation is held in your home and covers ways in which personal styling can help you to weather some of the symptoms of the menopause and make you look colourful, stylish, appropriate and current, whatever you’re going through. Colour, complexion and make-up Has the colour and texture of your skin altered? I’ll assess your colouring and demonstrate which colours to wear near your face to best complement your complexion and I’ll bring along some items of make up. Dressing for your body shape Weight gain or weight loss may indicate that your body shape is changing but that doesn’t mean you need to compromise on style. We’ll work through your existing wardrobe, showing what still works and where any gaps are and how you can jazz things up with accessories. I’ll then write a shopping list with suggestions of items for you to buy and where best to buy them. I can create a photographic record of combinations from your wardrobe as we go along so that you won’t forget. Fabric Hot flushes, night sweats or chills? Wearing natural fibres in the right shape of clothing will definitely help. I’ll be able to pinpoint what works well in your existing wardrobe and what I feel is missing.

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feronclarkstyle.com anita@feronclarkstyle.com 07799 856544 Instagram: feronclarkstyle Facebook: feron clark style

TIME TO INVEST IN YOURSELF MENOPAUSE MAKEOVER To make it easier there are two options: 1. One payment of £500, which includes a maximum of two hours travelling time for a four hour Menopause Makeover consultation at your home (payment in advance), or 2. Two instalments of £275. This can be spread over a couple of months and will need to be paid in full prior to the consultation. TO BOOK, PLEASE VISIT MY WEBSITE feronclarkstyle.com

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GOING UNDER THE NEEDLES Our Editor Marja-Leena tried cosmetic acupuncture for the first time

was very excited to arrive at Sasha’s welcoming treatment room for my first ever session of cosmetic acupuncture. I wanted to discover how it works as an anti-ageing treatment. Before we could get started, Sasha asked me a whole host of questions in order to fill in a comprehensive health questionnaire as she likes to tailor her treatments to health and beauty. She also took my pulses, yes there are several, and looked at my tongue which tells a thousand tales to a Practitioner of Traditional Chinese Medicine like Sasha. I was then tucked up comfortably on a treatment bed and Sasha got to work at inserting very fine needles on my face and also some on my head, ankles and hands. She

uses varying sizes of needles; larger ones for acupoints and finer needles on my forehead, cheeks and around my mouth where I have lines and wrinkles. The needles cause a wound heal affect to the skin, stimulating collagen and elastin production in those areas. You may be familiar with needles puncturing the face, for instance using microneedling, fillers or Botox. However, acupuncture has been used in a cosmetic context for thousands of years in Traditional Chinese Medicine. If you are not a fan of needles, you’ll be pleased to know that I didn’t feel any pain when the needles were inserted, only a tiny pinch which disappeared as soon as the needle was in. After all the needles were in, I was left to relax for half an hour listening to soothing music.

Sasha made no promises for results after just one treatment, but I could definitely see a smoother forehead. As a bonus I felt extremely relaxed and energised too, it was a really lovely experience. A course of twelve treatments is recommended followed by a maintenance programme to keep up the good work. I am definitely going back for more! If TCM acupuncture is something you are interested in please visit serenitymedica.com

or call 07757991511 or email Sasha sasha@serenitymedica.com

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

mental health

couch with Dr De-Stress On the

Dr Mariette Jansen

The little voice causing havoc When what others see doesn’t match how you feel Nell looked the part. Well groomed, wearing a beautiful expensive suit, elegant high heels and blond highlights in a well coiffured bob against the background of a classical green front door of one of those listed houses in the suburbs of London. The picture of a successful woman, who is leading a great life. That’s the picture. But what’s the story? Nell is posh. She went to an all-girls boarding school, then attended university abroad and married a wealthy property guy. They had three children who are all living their lives away from home and Nell, who had always worked part-time, is now holding down a full time job. She is very good at it. But the picture we see of Nell is only a part of her. The other part is carefully hidden and the only one who knows it is Nell herself. What is the hidden part? Her secret companion is a little creepy monster, sitting on her shoulder invisible for the world, and continuously whispering at her……

Making her feel bad about herself, stressing her out, forcing her to walk on eggshells and keeping her awake at night. The monster tells her: You made a mistake. You could have done better. Oh, look at your colleagues, they are so clever. One day they will find out you are actually not that good! This creepy monster goes by the name of Imposter Syndrome. It is very common, especially amongst women, but one of those ‘let’s not talk about’ subjects. How to deal with your Imposter Syndrome? • Don’t try to ignore the voice, face it full-on • Your IS monster is talking to you as an authority. Are you responding as a child? If so, step into your adult to dismantle the power of the authority • Start a dialogue and continue a conversation • Don’t think black and white. Making one mistake or being less perfect doesn’t make you useless at your job... • Find rational proof that IS got it wrong • Wave goodbye to the monster Want to know if you are suffering from Imposter Syndrome? Text ‘darling’ and your email address to receive the questionnaire that will reveal your truth.

Dr Mariette Jansen, Dr De-Stress is a life coach, meditation teacher, EFT therapist, award winning blogger and expert in helping women to take control of their lives, overcome anxiety and build confidence.

drdestress.co.uk | mariette@drdestress.co.uk darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

schools promo

BE SO GOOD THEY CAN’T IGNORE YOU

back-to-school – Steve Martin, actor

Darling Editor Marja-Leena Toseland shares her experience as a parent of three

he hunt for finding the best school for your child starts in earnest again at the start of a new academic year. It’s worth getting those Open Days in your diary as early as possible and to remember to visit the schools on your shortlist with an open mind. The opinions of our friends and family, not to mention the school gate gossip, play a big part in the choices parents make when it comes to choosing a school. Take that advice with you and

prepare a whole lot of questions for the headteacher and staff, and don’t forget to chat to the current pupils. No two schools are the same. Schools can approach the same thing in such dramatically opposing ways and yet all (potentially) get it right. Some schools believe in setting children in as many subjects as possible; others opt for mixed ability all the way. Even headteachers themselves are a very diverse bunch with their strengths and weaknesses, not to mention

passions, influencing the school they rule. Schools naturally pride themselves with excellent academic results and sporting achievements but it’s important to look beyond the obvious; think inclusivity in sports, music, drama and art, do you want religious traditions to play a part or is diversity important to you? Here are some of the finest schools in our area to get your started on your search.

innovate, nurture, inspire, fly NEWLAND HOUSE SCHOOL OFFERS AN ENGAGING AND BALANCED EDUCATION TO BOYS AND GIRLS FROM AGE 3 TO 13 YEARS. September brings exciting new vision and leadership to Newland House School as the new Head, Chris Skelton, takes up the helm. He brings an excellent breadth of experience from his previous positions as Deputy Head (Academic) at Newton Prep, a large preparatory school in Battersea Chris Skelton and his time as Deputy Head (Pastoral) at Dulwich College Junior School. Having begun his career working in two London state primary schools, Chris has an ideal foundation in teaching across a multitude of subjects and has developed sound educational viewpoints darlingmagazine.co.uk and values. These will support the19 22 | autumn

school’s extensive curriculum which aims to foster a sense of self-confidence and provide opportunities for children to develop and succeed. Chris states that his “First priority will be to ensure that Newland House offers a modern educational experience for all of our pupils, based on up-to-date educational research.” Parents will readily relate to his simple but fundamental educational philosophy that “The core business of a school is to provide excellent teaching and maximise the learning opportunities for the children which will, at the very least, allow pupils to reach their full potential and many to exceed it.”

Prospective parents are welcome to visit. admissions@newlandhouse.net newlandhouse.net

schools promo FELTONFLEET SCHOOL: Co-ed day and flexi-boarding prep school from 3 to 13 Situated on a 25 acre site of landscaped grounds with exceptional facilities. What makes Feltonfleet the first choice school for so many parents is the integrity and practice of their core belief that every individual really matters, underpinned by a values-driven ethos and a strong sense of community. In summer 2019, in response to overwhelming demand for places, work began on development of the Pre-Prep in addition to further investment in enhanced facilities for Science, Technology and Music. Next OPEN MORNING: Saturday 28th September 9.30am – 11.30am. Visits welcome at other times by appointment. Byfleet Road, Cobham, Surrey KT11 1DR | feltonfleet.co.uk | admissions@feltonfleet.co.uk

HOLY CROSS PREPARATORY SCHOOL: Girls 4 to 11 A Catholic school with a strong Christian ethos, welcoming girls of all faiths. Their pupils nurture a true love of learning. The caring, vibrant community pursues excellence on every level, demonstrated by the high number of scholarships awarded each year. With acres of outdoor space to explore and enjoy, including a state-of-the-art, all-weather sports pitch and pavilion (opened June 2019). OPEN MORNING: Tuesday 8 October, 9.30am – 12.00pm. No appointment needed. If you are unable to attend the Open Morning, please telephone to book a personal tour. George Road, Kingston upon Thames, KT2 7NU | holycrossprepschool.co.uk | admissions@holycrossprep.com

PUTNEY HIGH SCHOOL: Girls 4 to 18 Putney High GDST is spirited, ambitious and relevant. A forward-thinking approach to education encourages girls to think differently and to stand up and use their voice. Students leave not only with a top set of results, but with the confidence and the resourcefulness to make their mark in whatever they choose to pursue. Putney is an energetic, fun, supportive and down-to-earth school. Pupils learn real-world skills such as entrepreneurship, oracy and the digital wizardry to get ahead in the modern world. Several OPEN DAY events will be held in October, please see our website for details. 35 Putney Hill, Putney, London SW15 6BH | putneyhigh.gdst.net

SHREWSBURY HOUSE SCHOOL: Boys 7 to 13 An outstanding IAPS independent Prep school for boys, with a superb academic record, committed staff, outstanding sporting facilities, small class sizes and dedicated pastoral care where every boy has the opportunity to fulfil his potential. Shrewsbury House School has a national reputation for success in scholarships and awards to top day and boarding senior schools at 13+. The school’s OPEN MORNING will take place on Saturday 28th September from 9.30am – 11.30am. Children are encouraged to attend the Open Morning too. 107 Ditton Road, Surbiton, Surrey KT6 6RL | shrewsburyhouse.net | registrar@shstrust.net darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

CHANGING THE WORLD ONE CONVERSATION AT A TIME

ogether Equal is celebrating being awarded almost ÂŁ10,000 in National Lottery funding to support its work in supporting primary school children. The group, based in Surbiton, will use the funds to run a school outreach programme to help children build self-confidence, self-esteem and understand healthy relationships. The project will enable primary school children to better deal with the world of today and have all the knowledge they need to grow up healthy, happy and safe. It will help children

learn how to look after themselves, physically and mentally. It highlights the importance of friendship, diversity and helps build self-esteem and self-confidence for the future. The group will be running sessions in local primary schools across Surbiton to help children develop critical thinking and discussion skills in a conversational environment with their peers. While enjoyable, the children will be gaining greater confidence and self-belief setting them up for a future as a confident and inclusive adult. Find out more at togetherequal.com

Rugby A

sport

isn’t just for muddy fields

s we head into another school year, our thoughts focus on the milestones - SATs, GCSE’s and A Levels. But for many young people in the area, education plays a different role. For a variety of reasons, not all teenager’s needs can be met within the traditional mainstream school setting. This can manifest itself in a number of ways leading to exclusion, where young people are placed in Alternative Provision (AP) schools. For many, AP suits their needs more effectively, but some teenagers require more guidance and support than the system can give.

England player and Rugby World Cup winner. He recognised the power that rugby had in transforming his attitude, behaviour and aspirations and channelled that power into supporting young people.

“Combining the unique blend of rugby, a skills building course, career taster days and CV and interview workshops, coaches create a bespoke path for each student to enable them to get a job, build a career and secure a long term and happy future”

Dallaglio RugbyWorks is a charity founded to help teenagers excluded from mainstream schools achieve sustained education, employment or training (EET). Delivered as part of the AP curriculum, the programme draws on the power of rugby and its values within an intensive three year course. Combining the unique blend of rugby, a skills building course, career taster days and CV and interview workshops, coaches create a bespoke path for each student to enable them to get a job, build a career and secure a long term and happy future. Dallaglio RugbyWorks was born out of the early experience of founder Lawrence Dallaglio, former

The programme is delivered in over 70 AP schools across the UK to 14-17 year olds. With an established presence in South West London the programme is proud of the positive results that it’s seeing. 88% of permanently excluded young people enrolled in RugbyWorks are in EET 12 months after leaving AP, compared to the national average of 53% after six months. There is also robust statistical evidence that the probability of being in sustained EET post-16 for those on RugbyWorks improves with the increased number of sessions the young person attends.

These positive trends are a result of the coaches dedicated work together with the support of corporate partners who provide funding and career taster day opportunities. If you want to find out more about Dallaglio RugbyWorks and how to support young people in London and the surrounding area, please contact: info@dallagliorugbyworks.com darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

legal promo

[

Georgina Downard

MENTAL HEALTH AND EDUCATION

- do you know your rights? By Georgina Downard

s the summer holidays draw to a close and the autumn term approaches, families around the country are busy getting ready to go “back to school”. Despite the logistics of buying new books and uniforms and making arrangements for the school run, for many families this will be a time of excitement. However, while some children will be looking forward to the new school year and dreaming of spending every day with their friends again, for many others, particularly those with social, emotional and mental health (SEMH) difficulties, the thought of going back to school or college feels like a living nightmare. While the signs of mental health difficulties are not always obvious, NHS data confirms that they are widespread and increasing among children and young people: • The prevalence of 5-15 year olds experiencing emotional disorders, including anxiety and depression, is reported to have increased by 48%, from 3.9% in 2004 to 5.8% in 2017. • One in eight or 12.8% of 5-19 year olds were reported to have a diagnosable mental health condition yet only a quarter of them had had contact with a mental health specialist in the preceding year. In addition to anxiety and depression, children who are dreading the return to school include

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

those with eating disorders, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), mania and hypomania as well as those who self-harm and show signs of suicidal ideation or have attempted to take their own lives. The examples may sound extreme but sadly they appear to be increasingly common.

These difficulties are often linked to or impact children’s education. In some cases, they can be exacerbated by a child’s educational experience, for example where a pupil is bullied by their peers or punished for behaving in a way which is beyond their control. Without the right support, children can also experience such high levels of anxiety that they refuse to go to school or college at all. A mental health difficulty may be one of a number of a child’s needs too. For instance, they may also have difficulties with cognition and learning, communication and interaction, sensory processing or physical needs. When a child’s needs are unmet, this can give rise to behaviour that is challenging to manage, which includes violence towards themselves and others. This paints a bleak picture and may come as a shock to some. However, for many families it is a snap shot of the challenges their households face, away from the school gates and behind closed doors. Amidst the day to day challenges of supporting children with SEMH difficulties, especially if they are heightened in the lead up to the new

legal promo

school year, the law may not spring to mind as providing a helping hand but in a lot of cases it can. For example: • A child may find it significantly more difficult to learn compared to the majority of children their age or they may have a disability which hinders them from making use of facilities generally provided to their peers in mainstream educational settings. If so, they may require education or training in addition to or different from that which is generally made for their peers. In such cases a child is considered to have special educational needs which entitles them to support. • A child with a physical or mental impairment which has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on their ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities will fall within the legal definition of having a disability. This then affords them rights in relation to protection from discrimination, including an entitlement for reasonable adjustments to be made to address disadvantages they may face. • A child who is of compulsory school age and is unable to attend school due to ill-health (including mental health) remains entitled to

a suitable full-time education providing it is in their best interests for this to be arranged. While it may not be the first thought of parents and carers of children with special educational needs and SEMH difficulties, the law may provide the route to access the support and education their loved ones deserve. As a result of Russell-Cooke’s education law service, children and young people receive the educational provision and placements that enable them to thrive and fulfil their potential. We also empower parents and carers to address the challenges they face in navigating the education system. If you require advice on an education-related matter please contact our specialist children and education team for help. [Source of statistics: https://youngminds.org.uk/blog/ new-figures-show-a-rise-in-young-peoples-mental-healthproblems-since-2004/] For confidential advice relating to education or any related issues please call 020 3826 7550 or email enquiries@russell-cooke.co.uk and mention Darling magazine. russell-cooke.co.uk

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

property promo

THERE IS

an easy way

Adrian Sutherland

Earn 10% yields on your rental property without the hassle of being a stressed out landlord! Have you recently received an inheritance, a bonus or “gasp” are you thinking about releasing equity from your family home in order to invest in property?

After honing my skills over the years, I now help my clients generate rental yields of up to 10%. The properties I source are in the South East of England

Do you want to maximise your return on investment but don’t know exactly how to go about it?

Like you, I wanted an investment that was fuss-free and would help me supplement my pension and provide for my daughter’s education in the future.

Do you feel frustrated by the fact that you don’t know where to buy? You’ve probably looked at London as a rental investment opportunity but noticed that yields are really low, hovering around 3-3.5%. You may have also considered northern cities where yields are better – but found that historically, capital growth isn’t. And, the thought of managing tenants and maintenance so far away isn’t appealing either. I understand your concerns. 16 years ago I started investing in Buy To Let properties and was equally frustrated. As a single dad with a daughter I just wanted honest, personal advice from someone who had already done it.

helped me get on the ladder and scale – not something everyone has access to! Over time I started receiving the enquiring phone calls – which is when I decided to help others get into the property investment market.

within a 25-mile radius of London, with good transport links. I achieve high yields and occupancy rates by renting the properties out as serviced apartments to professionals and those who are relocating and in need of a quality fully furnished property with parking. These properties also enable you to offset mortgage costs against your taxable income, unlike long-term lets. I was fortunate to have had a background working in Finance and Property and called in (many) favours from ex colleagues and friends who

If you have similar goals for your retirement and children’s future, please get in touch. During September and October I’m offering a free, no-obligation property investment consultation. Contact me on 07725 440611 adrian@buytolethunter.com

Buy To Let Hunter Quadrant Road Richmond TW9 1DQ buytolethunter.com

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

MISSING YOUR darling MAGAZINE? COLLECT COPIES AT OUR 'HOTSPOTS' Rose Theatre, 24-26 High Street, Kingston Wimbledon, Putney, Balham, Kingston, Tel: 020 8546 6983

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Tel: 020 8977 6063 HELPFUL WIMBLEDON WEBSITES Love Wimbledon Normansfield Theatre - Langdon Down Centre, 2A Langdon Park, Teddington www.lovewimbledon.org London Borough Organically, 97 High of St, Merton Teddington Tel: 020 8977 0421 www.merton.gov.uk Citizen’s Bureau The FrenchAdvice Tarte, 83 Maple Road, Surbiton Tel: 020 8399 112 www.nacab.org.uk Merton Chamber of Commerce Pickled Pantry, St Mark's Hill, Surbiton Tel: 020 8399 4694 www.mertonchamber.co.uk Wimbledon Town CentreRoad, New Malden The Glasshouse, 14 Coombe Tel: 020 8942 4650 www.wimbledontowncentre.co.uk Wimbledon CivicStreet, Forum The Place, 58 High New Malden Tel: 0208 241 6591 www.wimbledoncivicforum.org.uk Wimbledon Society One Paved Court, 1 Paved Court, Richmond, TW9 1LZ onepavedcourt.co.uk | Tel: 020 8408 2139 www.wimbledonmuseum.org.uk Wimbledon Community bhuti, 50 Hill Rise, Richmond,Centre TW10 6UB Tel: 0330 400 3108 www.wimbledoncommunity.org.uk Volunteer Centre Merton Esquires Coffee 37-39 King Street Parade, Twickenham, TW1 3SG www.volunteercentremerton.org.uk Tel: 020 8744 Learning & 0353 Skills Council Harris + Hoole, 24 King St, Twickenham, TW1 3SN www.lsc.gov.uk Tel: 020 8891 3212 Charity Commission Harris + Hoole www.charitycommission.gov.uk 135 St. Margarets Rd, St Margarets, TW1 1RG Wimbledon Music Diary Tel: 020 8891 6541 www.wimbledonmusicdiary.com Richmond Theatre, Little Green, Richmond, TW9 1QJ Wimbledon Choral Society atgtickets.com/venues/richmond-theatre www.wimbledon-choral.org.uk Local Police/Neighbourhood Watch www.met.police.uk/saferneighbourhoods The Wimbledon Guild www.wimbledonguild.co.uk Care Connect advertisements corporate identity www.merton.gov.uk/living/care/careconnect www.centrecourtshopping.co.uk brand development infographics

freelance graphic designer*

IMPORTANT NUMBERS brochures presentations Wimbledon Police St George’s Hospital 020 8947 1212 or (999) 020 8672 1255 sky gránia young Merton Council Kingston Hospital 020 8274 4901 020 8546 7711 *07801 480 011 NHS DIRECT National Rail hello@fairoglee.com 0845 4647 08457 484950 | autumn 19 30 darlingmagazine.co.uk 44

feb-march 2012 | darlingmagazine.co.uk

AUTUMN BRIDGE with Bridge Guru Paul Mendelson Playing an ace on your partner’s king may cause acute embarrassment or, on occasion, lead you to be hailed as a hero… COLLECT COPIES AT OUR “HOTSPOTS”

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PleaseSouth call first to Dealer N/Scheck Game stocks N E S W 1S NB 2D NB 2S NB 4S North-South bid confidently to their 4♠ game contract and West led top-of-a-sequence K♥. East can deduce that West holds KQ♥ and probably J♥. These cards, together with East’s two aces, seem to account to for all the high cards which East-West hold. East must plan to make four tricks to defeat the contract, but what can they be? Two hearts tricks and A♦ are easy to make but, for a fourth trick, East will need to trump a diamond. How can that be achieved before declarer draws trumps? The solution is entirely in East’s hands and is really rather beautiful: East overtakes West’s K♥ with her A♥ and cashes A♦. She then returns a heart to West. On winning, West must conclude that for East to play her A♦ is the action either of a mad-woman, or of a player with only one diamond. Assuming that she trusts her partner, West therefore plays another diamond and East trumps. Contract defeated.

aceoftrumps.com

♥♣♦♠

art

WE NEED TO TALK about scamming

Untitled 12, Envelop(e)s

recent exhibition at contemporary art gallery One Paved Court in Richmond saw artist Julie Derbyshire present a new body of photographic work alongside her fabricated objects that inspired it. Informed by personal experience, Possession is the culmination of Julie’s investigation into the increasingly disturbing social issue of scamming, particularly as it touches vulnerable elderly individuals. Her aim, through her artwork, is to bring a new voice to the topic. The behaviour of victims who succumb to scamming is typically characterised by excessive spending, often beyond their means, and a secretive obsession with the purchase and hoarding of items. It is often motivated by false promises of friendship and future wealth through manipulation, emotional coercion and insidiousness. Engaging with the scammers in a dialogue, ordering and receiving objects, becomes an addiction. Those who become embroiled are invariably vulnerable and often newly socially isolated. With perpetrators often based abroad and away from UK

jurisdiction and complex legal provisions regarding issues of mental capacity, family and friends are left to watch on, powerless.

reference to the conflict between the lure of perceived beauty and the unsettling and ugly effects on those vulnerable to coercion. A series of photographs of hand crafted paper porcelain envelopes bearing extracts of text commonly used in scamming schemes makes reference to the relentless and insidious nature of correspondence that victims of such practices are exposed to. Made from a material historically prized for its combination of strength and fragility, the envelopes allude to the transition from seemingly harmless words to the secrecy and complicity engulfing their recipients.

Chandelier of False Promises

Julie’s work draws on the vanitas tradition to convey the tension between the temptation and emptiness of worldly possessions. She employs still lifes as a commentary on modern consumerism, its excesses and pitfalls. Iterations of wealth, value and exorbitance range from a beguiling chandelier made from imitation jewellery, hoarded by a victim over years of scamming exploitation, to more conceptual objects that make

Julie has exhibited in the UK and abroad and her work is held in private collections. She has received a number of awards and was recently nominated for the RPS 100 Heroines Award. All of the images from this body of work can be viewed on Julie’s website. Julie Derbyshire juliederbyshire.com Instagram: @juliederbyshire For future exhibitions at One Paved Court visit onepavedcourt.co.uk

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

The Broadway, Wimbledon

50 Years Since Stonewall Local award-winning filmmaker and author, Shamim Sarif says LGBTQ+ teaching is a step in the right direction

was born and raised in Surrey, to a Muslim family. Throughout my adolescence, I struggled with knowing I was gay, and I remember praying that, somehow, it would stop. Because I was taught, almost by osmosis, that being gay was wrong. Over thirty years ago, there were no role models for me at school or on T.V. Within my Muslim community, no-one was allowed to acknowledge or talk about the people who were

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

clearly gay, because it was generally agreed to be against Islamic teachings. On top of that, the unfounded, insulting insinuation that all gay people are somehow deviant, promiscuous or immoral, was prevalent. For a child, a young teenager, these kinds of feelings, aimed at creating shame and fear and disgust, are powerful. How I wish there had been school classes that could have made me feel that I was not an aberration.

education My belief is that religious parents are lucky to live in a country, such as the U.K., that values human freedom, because they are absolutely at liberty to teach their children what they like in the privacy of their own homes. They are free to have their children wear a hijab or a cross outside the home if they choose. There is a legal process that can be used against anyone who threatens that religious freedom. That is not the case in countries such as Saudi Arabia, where religious law is enshrined. An atheist or Christian woman visiting Saudi must still cover her head to meet Muslim standards.

Shamim Serif & Hanan Kattan

I did come out, eventually. I’ve been with my wife for over 23 years and we have two sons who we chose to have together. It was tough in the early years - our families were not supportive. There was no legal framework for us to be married at that time, and we had to use work-arounds to ensure we had proper parental rights. But times change, and the laws have changed. These laws have not created more gay people, but they’ve given relief and validation to those of us who felt marginalized. We live in Wimbledon and the kids of our friends and neighbours are unfazed and, frankly, not bothered that we are LGBTQ+. I wonder if they would still be unfazed if they received a class at school that told them some people think it’s wrong? Sophie Khan argued in the summer issue of Darling that the rights of religious parents could be infringed by the Government’s new relationship education programme which allows LGBTQ+ relationships to be normalised, alongside other forms of marriage and partnership. While acknowledging that she is fully entitled to advertise her legal services and that the article was written so that parents who believed their human rights were being breached could seek legal assistance via her firm, I take issue with her suggested solution: that the government programme should also teach the ‘counter-narrative to LGBTQ+ relationships, as proclaimed in religious texts.’ She does not mention the obvious—that the counter-narrative would explain that in certain religious sects, homosexuality is considered to be wrong.

The U.K.’s laws are not derived from religion; they are secular. They uphold equality, freedom and human dignity, irrespective of race, religion, gender or sexuality. That is the ‘contract’ one signs by choosing to live here. And for anyone who disrespects these principles, there is a price to pay. For instance, I cannot own a business in the U.K. and decide that I only want to hire white employees and not people of colour, or only heterosexual employees. There is a legal process by which I can be held to account. These principles work on the basis of inclusion. But when we start to suggest that someone’s sexuality might be wrong, or considered wrong in some quarters, that creates exclusion. It creates the possibility in the mind of a child that being gay, for instance, is perhaps not completely okay. In my opinion, no version of exclusion has a place being taught in schools. Because, here’s what exclusion does: it creates a sense of superiority in those doing the excluding, and it makes those excluded feel ostracized or unworthy. We exclude rapists and murderers from society. Should we, in a free country, be excluding (even under the guise of providing a ‘balanced view’) anyone based on their inherent traits, or based on lifestyle choices that do not hurt anyone else? I believe that religious antipathy to LGBTQ+ people is flawed, not least because judging people on their inner values is more meaningful than on inherent traits like colour or sexuality. But that is not a debate for this article. We live in a secular society that believes in true freedom and equality. My view is that this same equality is deeply eroded when a counter-narrative is taught that suggests that some of our freedoms may be wrong. Twitter & Instagram @shamimsarif darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

funeral promo

A CREMATION FUNERAL does not have to be held at a crematorium

GreenAcres Chilterns

t is a natural assumption when planning a cremation funeral that the service must take place at the crematorium chapel, unless a church service is planned first. This is not necessarily the case. We recently worked with a family who had unexpectedly lost their mum. She was only in her late 50’s and her sons felt bereft at not having said goodbye. They asked if there was a private space available for at least two hours, where they could create their own service and be together as a family to say farewell to their mum. As we chatted, we discovered their mum was a free-spirited woman who loved the outdoors and nature. It was evident a typical crematorium service, or ‘chapel of rest’ would not give her sons what they needed or reflect her life in the best way. Natural burial grounds provide a beautiful setting for a relaxed style service, but the cost of a natural burial plot can be prohibitive. A new service offered by GreenAcres Woodland Burial allows a cremation funeral service to take place in their Woodland Hall. A beautiful wood and glass building that sits within the forest

Talk to Nick & Jacqui 020 3281 1045 whiterosemodernfunerals.co.uk

provides a stunning setting where you can quietly contemplate. The minimum time is one hour – you can book additional – avoiding the ‘one in, one out’ scenario typical of a crematorium service. Immediately after the service, the coffin is taken for cremation at the local crematorium. The family then collect their loved one’s ashes a few days later or can inter or scatter them at the natural burial ground. GreenAcres Chiltern is within 30 miles of SW London and the cost for this style of service is comparable with a local crematorium. An officiant for the service can be arranged, but for this family it was a 100% family affair, that gave them the peace and time with their mum they so needed. To plan a funeral that best reflects the life of your loved one, please talk to us. We can visit you at home or by appointment at our office.

White Rose Modern Funerals

Causeway House, 13 The Causeway Teddington, TW11 0JR

We cover SW London and NE Surrey darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

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HEADING Subheading (Didot 16pt)

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darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

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onthescene

With Editor Marja-Leena Toseland

HAM POLO CLUB - AMERICAN EVENING

Clare Lane, Niamh Wallis and Nicole Ion

Back: Kate Lindsay-Fynn, Howard Davis, Hannah DuttonWaller, Jinni Featherstone-Witty, Simon Chamberlain. Front: Jason Warren, Emily Scrase, Tory Lodder, Hugo Davis

Club Chairman Howard Davis and Yuka Ashiya

Lyndsay Russell and our editor Marja-Leena

Jason Warren (Head Coach), James Lane and Bryan Wallis

Lucyanne Clarke, Hannah Dutton-Waller, Nelda Sale and Mara Cole

Tuuli Eaton, Jaana Kuivikko, Ayesha Hiro and Riikka Williams

Koo Anand, Ian Keith, Tracey Flashman and Ian Rajan

IYAF - INTERNATIONAL YOUTH ARTS FESTIVAL GALA NIGHT AT ROSE THEATRE IN KINGSTON Photos by Tangle Photography

Robin Hutchinson MBE, Mayor of Kingston Cllr Margaret Thompson with HRH \Earl of Wessex, IYAF President

Rosie Trentham

Annie Attwater, Marja-Leena Toseland, Karine Torr (Darling Wimbledon) and Mark Attwater (Direct Colour)

THE ANGLERS IN TEDDINGTON - RELAUNCH PARTY

Nesan Thiurenasan (NC Supper Clubs), Becky (Beck's Bakes) and Steve

Ben Walton (Manager) and Nicola Douglas

Mikko and Maria Hietanen with Fiona Porter

Lisa Wyborn(Teddington Together), Maggie Tibble (The Dead Parrot Society) and Jason Darling (singer )

CLEAN AIR DAY IN RICHMOND

Claire and Toby Baker with Gail and Stu Chapman

Big Wheel Theatre Co: Lisa Fenn, Lindi Louw, Elaine Postell and Nic Wright

Richmond Council stand: Cllr Monica Saunders and Carol Lee

KAOS - KINGSTON ARTISTS OPEN STUDIOS

Bali Edwards, Seana Mallen and Ikuko Danby

Lucy Birkbeck, Ruth Blackford and Lesley Bennett

Caroline Calascione, Richard Earthwood and Cressida Borrett

Stanley Picker Gallery: Paola Kossakowska (Fine Art student) , Erika Tan (artist in residence) and Rebecca Moss

Octopus Electric Vehicles team: Shaun McHugh, Dinara Mukh and Alvin Castillo

Tat Whaley

Our editor Marja-Leena with Jenny Meehand and Anna Tikhomirova

WIMBLEDON TENNIS PARTY BY LADY WIMBLEDON

WHAT'S HOT

Kate Howard and Derek Terrington

Sarah Austin and Caroline Edwards (Really Helpful Club)

Karine Torr, Lady Wimbledon and Malory (singer- songwriter)

Our editor Marja-Leena, Mayor of Merton Cllr Janice Howard, Deputy Mayor Cllr Edward Foley, Mark Gordon and Karine Torr

DOG & FOX TENNIS PARTY BY LADY WIMBLEDON

ZARA Cropped Denim Jacket Detail, £25.99

& OTHER STORIES Wool Blend Wrap Cardigan, £65 Nimal Fernando and Mickey the Macaw

TOP SHOP I'm Your Type T-shirt, £12

MATCHES FASHION, Veja Nova Canvas Trainers, £80

Hel & Mel (Darling stylists), Lady Wimbledon and Flora Firth

TEA & TEQUILA TRADING, Bentall Centre, Esmeralda Mini Backpack, £240

Bhavi Kanadia, Nita Sharma, Karine Torr and Andrew Morris

LEVI'S, Bentalls, Levi's 721 High Rise Jeans, £85

ABGAIL JAMES AT EF MEDISPA RICHMOND SHEEN HAIR SALON, Organic hair colour & products by Natulique

Marja-Leena and Kate Barker

Carmen Bottinelli,Tooky Devall and Mandy Pitcher

Esther Fieldgrass (founder of EF Medispa), Abigail James and Aysha Awwad (Cosmedix)

ladywimbledon.com @ladywimbledon

CIRKT LAUNCH AT THE FIGHTING COCK

Paul Mowatt with our editor Marja-Leena

DORICH HOUSE MUSEUM SUMMER PARTY

Marja-Leena, Miranda Jaggers (Love Kingston ) and Hen Coleman (Artist in Residence)

Lyndsay Russell and Suze Lundberg

David Faulkner (Director The Stanley Picker Gallery and Dorich House Museum) and Glenyss Lipscombe

Rachel Pearcey, Emily Limna, Peg Morris, Jude Wild and Ruth Blackford (KAOS artists)

Ben Lee, Danielle O'Shaughnessy, Amy Lame (TV and radio presenter, London's 1st Night Czar) and Mia Zessimedes

KINGSTON EXPO

Amanda Menassa and Annie Lee (WSM)

Emma Levy, Marja-Leena, Rachel Russell and Melanie Lawson Wall

Julia Trollip (JT Biokinetics), Andrea Basilio and Sue Towner

Juliet Adelsbrooke, Joy Foster (TechPixies) and Anoushka Ayaru

THE VICTORIA FOUNDATION CELEBRATED AT PETERSHAM HOTEL

Peter Hope, Maggie and Stephen Tague

Graham Ball (CEO of TVF) with Luana Dare, Petersham Hotel

Photos by Gail Fogarty Karen Heaton and Heather Galbreath

Enyi Ofu, Allison Marshall and Peter Marshall (CEO, New Victoria Hospital)

Above: Jan Meek (adventurer), Alison Jee and Mary Sini Charmaine Mace with our editor

PEARSON HARDS SOLICITORS - ANNUAL GARDEN PARTY

Emma Rohtstein and Hatice Mustafa

Clare Darby and Natalie Crew

Sara Whitman, John Sweeney and Martha Mador, President Kingston Chamber of Commerce

REAL ALE, RICHMOND - 14TH ANNIVERSARY

Matt Rownicki, Adam Hardy (Park Brewery), Zeph King (MD, Real Ale), Tom Ganf, Tim Payton, Mike Bentley, Ryan O'Conner, Jonathan Charlton and Stuart Java

Forbes Low, CEO Kingston Chamber of Commerce and Chris Hirsch

AT THE LAUNCH OF SYLVIA VETTA' S NEW BOOK SCULPTING THE ELEPHANT

Sylvia Vetta, author, her niece Zoe Bellord and brother Mike Harry

Sylvia Vetta,with Petya Tsankova, Claret Press

TWICKENHAM FESTIVAL - CHURCH STREET GOES GREEN

Pet Boutique owner Colleen Brennan and Megan Jones with Bazil and Ruby

Artist Daniel Patteson

Edward Oliver, Ricardo Garcia and Pier

Allissias Attic owner Julie Sheldrick

Fergie Nicolson and Jo Senior - Mojo

Sophie King, owner of The Bloomery with Katie Serpant

SNAX Cafe: Besmira Hajdaraj, Xheni Pepa and Vera Murataj (owner, front)

Maria Tavilla and Daniele Ammirata - from Osteria Pulcinella

Rory and Raph Thomas

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RICHMOND ART HOUSE - VISITING THE EEL PIE ISLAND'S ARTIST COMMUNITY

Want to be seen?

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sky gránia young *07801 480 011 Ann Bubis , Artists Vicky Steane,hello@fairoglee.com Molly Butt and artist in her Sarah Hubacher

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Jasmin Scanlon and Sasha Arms, editor of 'Carl Goes London Islands

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Juliette Losq , artist in her studio

Tamara Stringer, Stacey Richard (Super Sitters) and Natasha Perry

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Karen with her art students; Andrew White, Evelyn Richardson and Annie Stevens

BY THE COMMUNITY, header

for the community

By Alice McArdle, a volunteer at the Vineyard Community Centre

he above is the ethos of Roots, a programme run by the Vineyard Community Centre, which supports those in need to greater inclusion and self determination, and provides opportunities for social engagement and learning.

Our friends from the Angel and Crown pub in Richmond took part too with their award winning chef Geo who gave us a masterclass in burger making. And in case that wasn’t exciting enough, a production crew from Karma TV were on hand to capture our time together on film.

In July, the first cycle of the programme came to a close, and our community came together to celebrate the remarkable achievements of the Roots participants so far.

Many of the Roots participants are now engaged in paid and voluntary work, and all have benefitted from the caring and supportive relationships built at Roots. The party was a chance to celebrate and also to look ahead to the big plans we have for phase two as we continue to see individuals flourish, confidence grow, and Roots have a big impact locally.

We were joined by our partners from Kew Gardens, Richmond Housing Partnership, and Relish and Grace, who have been coaching and training the Roots participants since February, all of whom gave feedback about the valuable contributions our team have made. Our sponsor Paypal led a workshop encouraging us to reflect on our personal strengths and the unique gifts we have to offer, and explore the fears that were holding us back.

Phil’s Personal Journey Phil is a man with his fingers in many pies. He helps lead Roots, he collects food donations from local cafes in the evening, and mentors and coaches many others at the centre. But when Phil arrived at the centre in November last year he was homeless, having lost everything, and seeking a bed for the winter.

From the outside Phil’s life had appeared perfect. He had held senior positions at Disney, McDonalds, and Google, and lived in a beautiful house in Chiswick. He had been a highly functioning alcoholic and had been hanging onto the semblance of normal life. It eventually came unravelling last year, when in quick succession he lost his job, his house, and was declared bankrupt. Through the community and care he found at the Vineyard, Phil managed to get sober, and begin to slowly rebuild. He is now staying at friends’ houses, and has discovered his passion to pass on the support that he has been given to others in need around him. To make a donation to us visit uk.virginmoneygiving.com/giving and SEARCH Vineyard Community Centre or directly from our website

vineyardcommunity.org Our PAYPAL link is https://www.paypal.com/uk/ fundraiser/charity/2347769 vineyardcommunity.org/home

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

WHAT’S ON THIS AUTUMN? ORLEANS HOUSE GALLERY

THE BARN THEATRE COMPANY

Digital Grottos, Introduction to iPad Drawing and Painting Thu 12 Sep

Goosebumps, Sat 26 Oct, 3pm The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Sat 26 Oct, 8pm thebarntheatremolesey.co.uk

Wednesday Art Club: 9-14 years 18 Sep - 11 Dec

TEDDINGTON THEATRE CLUB Marvin’s Room, Sun 15 - Sat 21 Sep

orleanshousegallery.org

Daisy Pulls It Off, Sat 28 Sep - Fri 4 Oct

THE GREAT RIVER RACE

teddingtontheatreclub.org.uk

From London Docklands to Ham Sat 14 Sep

ROSE THEATRE

greatriverrace.co.uk

Friendsical, musical inspired by Friends the TV show, Mon 9 - Sat 14 Sep

HAM POLO CLUB

Valued Friends, Fri 20 - Sat 12 Oct

Gaucho Polo Event, Fri 20 Sep, 3-7pm

Posh, Tue 15 - Sat 19 Oct

Billy Walsh Tournament Final Sun 22 Sep Farewell Cup, Sun 29 Sep hampoloclub.com RICHMOND THEATRE A Woman of No Importance Mon 16 - Sat 21 Sep A Taste of Honey, Mon 7 - Sat 12 Oct

THE NORMANSFIELD THEATRE Piano Recital with Henry Roche

An evening with Jasper Carrott and Alistair McGowan, Sun 17 Nov

Sat 14 Sep

rosetheatrekingston.org

Idomeneo, Rose Opera production, Fri 4 Oct

LANDMARK ARTS CENTRE

La Boheme, Instant Opera production, Fri 18 - Sun 20 Oct

Ruby Wax, Sun 20 Oct atgtickets.com

La Traviata, Teddington Society in aid of Great Ormond Street Hospital, Sat 2 Oct

ORANGE TREE THEATRE

King Arthur, Richmond Opera production, Fri 15 - Sun 17 Nov

Amsterdam, Fri 6 Sep - Sat 12 Oct Jonny and The Baptists, Sun 22 Sep Little Baby Jesus, Fri 18 Oct - 16 Nov

Christmas Craft Fair 24 Nov, 11am - 4:30pm langdondowncentre.org.uk/ normansfield-theatre

David Suchet, Sun 20 Oct Dame Penelope Wilton, Sun 3 Nov Barb Jung, Sun 10 Nov orangetreetheatre.co.uk 44

The Life and Rhymes of Benjamin Zephaniah, Sun 10 Nov

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19

Bring Your Own Baby Comedy, Tue 17 Sep Trio Pierné, Classics in the Afternoon, Sun 22 Sep The Clare Teal Trio, supper, Thu 3 Oct Andrea Baker, Sing Sistah Sing!, Fri 11 Oct Surrey Sculpture Society Showcase Exhibition, Thu 22 - Sun 25 Nov Autumn Art Fair, Sat 19 - Sun 20 Oct SPARKLE: Contemporary Craft & Gourmet Food Fair, Fri 22 - Sun 24 Nov landmarksartscentre.org

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IN KINGSTON, RICHMOND, TEDDINGTON AND TWICKENHAM HAMPTON COURT

SEETHING WELLS

The Handmade Festival with Kirstie Allsopp, 13 -15 Sep, 9:30am-6pm

Surbiton Ski Sunday & The Seething Luge, St Marks Hill, by Surbiton Station, Sun 20 Oct, 11am-1pm

thehandmadefestival.com WIMBLEDON BOOK FEST Thu 3 - Sun 13 Oct wimbledonbookfest.org THE EEL PIE CLUB Remember Joe Cocker featuring Paul Cox, Thu 3 Oct The Rollin’ Stoned, Thu 28 Nov eelpieclub.com HAM ART GROUP Autumn exhibition Sat 2 - Sun 3 Nov, 10am - 4pm hamartgroup.org

Want to be seen?

The King’s Soup, Claremont Gardens, Surbiton, Sun 20 Oct, 1:30pm - 4pm seethingwells.org

LOVE KINGSTON

RICHMOND RUN FEST

Gala Dinner , Fri 15 Nov, 7:30pm

Kew Gardens 10k, Sat 14 Sep Half and full marathons, Sun 15 Sep

lovekingston.org.uk

richmondrunfest.com

MOMENTUM CHILDREN’S CHARITY

KINGSTON HALF MARATHON

‘Fly with Mo’ Bungee Jump, 1 Oct - 31 Dec

Sun 6 Oct, 8:30am Start and finish at the Market Place letsdothis.com

Bettany Hughes

RICHMOND UPON THAMES LITERATURE FESTIVAL 1- 24 NOVEMBER 2019 A superstar line-up makes this year’s festival the biggest and boldest to date! The festival will offer a diverse programme throughout November with some of today’s finest authors, thinkers, and commentators - all with a unique story to tell. Join mudlark Lara Maiklem as she scours the banks of the River Thames, writer & journalist Zeba Talkhani on growing up in Saudi Arabia, rejecting the traditional path her culture had chosen for her and finding freedom, plus take your pick from a host of today’s finest female historians at the top of their

Tandem Skydive, 1 Oct - Jan 1 2020 Both at various venues moment-um.org

Kate Williams

Zeba Talkhani credit Chris Boland

game: Alison Weir, Antonia Fraser, Kate Williams, Tracy Borman, Katie Hickman and Bettany Hughes. Events for children and families include a specially curated event about 19th century fossil finder Mary Anning, a fantasy writing workshop with Steve Feasey, and celebrated children’s illustrator and author Laura Ellen Anderson’s wonderful creations Amelia Fang vs Evil Emperor Penguin battling it out in a riotous afternoon of live drawing and storytelling. The box office opens on 1 October at 10am. Tickets can be booked online, by phone 020 8831 6494, or in person at Orleans House Gallery. darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19 45 richmondliterature.com

point of view

Lyndsay Russell

The PostartAnxiety movement

look at the Kingston University Freshers Week print out with wry amusement, and toss it at my daughter, Talor.

“Sweetheart, waste of money. I’m so deaf these days, they’re all silent.” “You’re not taking university seriously,” she huffed.

“I’d ignore the pub crawls but you should at least go to the Laser Quest, mum make new friends.”

“You CAN’T put bullet points in a UCAS statement!! And take out the word ‘passionate’. Total cliche.”

“Darling, they’ll probably shoot me as a mad old ‘cougar’ lady.” Actually, the mad thing is, Talor is just back from uni, and now I’m the one off to study. At the age of… well let’s say somewhere between 50 and death, I’m doing a post grad MFA in Fine Art, which hovers below a Phd. This is pretty awesome considering my last qualification was well over three decades ago in advertising writing. Two years full time at Kingston Art School will hopefully be a brilliant choice - with state of the art new studios, the Stanley Picker Gallery and a cool course leader who looks like an East Side art critic for the New York Times. “Hey mum, there’s a Freshers Silent Disco!” Says Talor, highlighting it with a pen. 46

nerves at meeting tutors and fellow students, not to mention worry about being bottom in their peer group. I keep reminding myself I was selected by interview, examples, websites of existing work and a UCAS statement. The latter, much to the delighted revenge of my kid.

Happily, the faculty still deemed me fit enough to send an Unconditional Offer. I’m guessing ‘Conditional’ in my case, would have referred to angina or dementia before Enrolment Day. So here I am, palette and pads ready to start a new art movement - ‘Post Anxiety’. So be extra-loving photo credit Erez Rivlin to your nervous kids as you kiss them goodbye. As for Wrong. I’m devouring books, me - spare a thought. exhibitions, and articles. Talor is disappointed I’m not Regretfully, I joined the Mature sleeping in a Halls so her old uni Freshers Facebook Page and friends can come back to our assaulted with “Hey, I’m Gina, home and crash every night. 28 - is anyone out there as Let’s put it this way… I don’t ancient as me?”. expect her to cry when she waves So, this is how our undergrad kids me off to Uni. feel. Will they fit in? The jittery russellartist.com

darlingmagazine.co.uk | autumn 19