Falling in love with Pam Custers

What’s love

got to do with it?

Oh the sweetness of romantic love. Those heady moments of spontaneous attraction and affection we have for another. We all seem to be clear on the Hollywood understanding of falling in love. We can’t choose it, it simply happens. We “fall” in love. We are powerless in being able to prevent it. “Falling in love” is a wonderful experience. It changes the chemistry in our brain and we experience euphoria. Our appetite suddenly disappears our energy levels soar and we are filled with a wonderful cocktail of wanting and excitement.

So often we confuse the fact that the heady feelings disappear and believe that we have fallen out of love. There are however three phases of love. The first the romantic “falling” the second is the moment when we “attune” ourselves to our relationship and this answers the simple question. “Will you be there for me? Can I trust you?” This is a process of creating trust by being aware of our partners pain, tolerating the fact that one doesn’t always agree, turning towards one’s partner’s needs and developing understanding through empathy and communication.

The third stage is building commitment and loyalty. Strangely this thing called love is not as unpredictable as we are led to believe. It is within our power to create love and not just leave it up to happenstance. It is within our reach to cultivate and develop. We can develop and build love. We all need to feel loved, to give love and receive it. Love is as important to our wellbeing as it is the air we breathe. Are you feeling like you may have lost that loving feeling perhaps it is time to kick start your relationship mojo. n

21/97/35/61

0/97/46/0 Contact Pam Custers The Relationship Practice

therelationshippractice.com 07572 841 388

Pam holds an MA in Relationship therapy Psychology (Hons) (BACP)

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