In Memoriam
Gordon Neville (’55) gives Darlington’s Baccalaureate Address in 2007.
Gordon Neville (’55) Leaving a legacy
When he arrived on campus in 1951, Gordon Neville (’55) had no idea what lay ahead for him by the Lakeside. But what began as a four-year boarding experience for a missionary kid from Pernambuco, Brazil, now represents nearly half of a century of service and devotion to Darlington and hundreds of lives changed by his humor, kindness, and wisdom. As a student, he was involved with many extracurricular activities, but soccer was the one that he would continue at Davidson College. He returned to the Lakeside in 1962 to begin his 44-year career. First hired as a middle grades math and Bible teacher, he served in a number of roles during his tenure, including soccer and football coach, business manager, Upper School math and geography teacher, dean of students, resident dean
Fall 2021
of Wilcox Hall, summer school principal, and associate headmaster. His last role was director of the J. Daniel Hanks Sr. (’27) Heritage Society, where he enjoyed connecting with alumni. “Gordon believed in Darlington’s mission and loved its students,” said trustee Whit Whitaker (’77, LD ’15). “His wry sense of humor both reflected and pierced his formality, and reflected always a love and enjoyment of others and a delight in the sometimes crazy world around him. In his lifelong commitment to Darlington and its students, he had few equals.” According to legend, Gordon’s most significant decision during his first few years at Darlington was to take a break from grading papers one evening for a walk around campus. On this stroll, he met Betsy, the lovely younger sister of a colleague’s wife. He offered a tour of the campus, she suggested dinner, and, as they say, the rest is history. Gordon and Betsy married Aug. 23, 1969, and raised their children, Mary Elizabeth (Neville) Martin (’90), William Neville (’92), and Leverett Neville (’95), as a deeply connected family in the Darlington Community. Known for their hospitality and warmth, the couple opened their home to new and veteran faculty and staff members for dinner, and often hosted baby showers and engagement parties. Betsy would have faculty children over to the house to bake and loved taking friends’ dogs for walks around campus. Affectionately known by students as “Sneaky G,” the ninja, or simply “coach,” Gordon is unequivocally remembered as a catcher of rule-breakers and true southern gentleman. Not entirely a disciplinarian, he had a great sense of humor and would often play an iconic “eye trick” over dinner, making those around the table laugh. “He was a man who, until now in heaven, would never know the extent of the lives he impacted,” said Danny Orthwein (’06, LD ’12). “His sheer presence demanded and called forth the best in any student who was blessed enough to know him or unfortunate enough to be reprimanded by him (for the better).” Kevin Ivester (’87), middle grades math teacher and dear friend of Gordon’s son, William, says the elder Neville treated
everyone with respect and always served with humility. “I remember eating lunch with Mr. Neville in the dining hall my first year as a teacher,” Ivester said. “A female teacher walked up to the table. Mr. Neville stood up, walked over to the open chair, pulled out the seat for his female colleague and said, ‘Please, have a seat and join us.’ I saw Mr. Neville do this many, many times during my years at Darlington. Why did that simple act make an impression on me as a young, 20-something teacher? Maybe because there are so many people who spend their time talking about how one should act, but it is a rare man whose actions are louder than words. He was showing me, as a young man, how to show respect for others.” This gentlemanly nature was modeled for all, but for his wife, Betsy, first and foremost. In the many times Gordon was honored at Darlington, he was known to bring attention to her loving support. Gordon retired from Darlington in 2006, and the couple moved to a family home that was built nearly a century ago in Montreat, N.C. Even in retirement, he stayed connected, reaching out to check in and loyally supporting the school through The Darlington Fund and as a proud member of the Heritage Society. He also returned to campus to give the Baccalaureate Address in 2007 and for his class reunions. “I will always remember something that Mr. Neville told our soccer team in the locker room before the final game of our high school careers,” said Ivester. “He did not speak about strategy or what would be necessary to win. Instead, he told us, ‘Think of the friendships you have made by kicking a ball through a blade of grass.’ It has remained emblazoned in my mind for all these years.”
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Betsy and Gordon Neville (’55)
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