Daughters of promise Resting {in Jesus} pg. 25
Scarf-ology! pg. 42 the quest for purity,
pg. 9
ministry focus May-June 2013
Bethesda Springs Farm, pg. 61
inthisissue {open} A word from Rae Meet the Team Mission Statement
4 5 8
relationship exchange Cultivating the Sacred Gift of Friendship The Quest for Purity Living with Healthy Boundaries
9 15
daughters of God Pursuing Deeper Intimacy with the Father Resting in Jesus Rhema: the Lord will receive my Prayer Keeping Step with our Commander
25 34 35
life & style Virtue in Everyday Living Scarfology Couleur Amor: Yellow Gratitude Quotes
42 47 53
legacy & impact Living God's Heart for the World A Voice for the Unborn Bethesda Springs Farm
55 61
white spaces Creating Rest, Balance, and Room to Breathe
Poetry by Gerard Manley Hopkins
66
{close} Comments & Contact Info
25
70
MAY&JUNE2013
9 15
ineachissue 22
Q&A
39
life through Carmony’s lens
41
pearl of promise
45
the thrift addict
49
the art of play
54
the team recommends
55
42
35
open w x o¡pen [oh-puh n]
vb.– to move from a shut or closed position so as to admit passage.
a word from rae I
am sitting on my leather
couch with the tender, green of spring framed in the old lounge window. Blue sky drapes behind the tossing branches, a treeline painted in every hue of green imagineable—lime green, pine green, sea-green. It is a glorious time of year and I get to experience it from a setting I never have before. Easter weekend I moved to VA to live in a small apartment attached to my Grandfather’s house. Today, a month later, the boxes are finally unpacked, the rooms filled up with all my favorite pictures, furniture, and mementos. It has been a busy time, but I have loved this season of transition to spreading my roots in a new area! Though change always brings an element of discomfort, I am finding that there is joy and meaning in following the Lord, regardless of the unknowns that remain. He is truly faithful! Because of the busyness of the past few months, getting this issue of DOP compiled and published has been more challenging. Still, I have to say that I am more excited about this issue than any before! Some wonderful, wise ladies contributed some amazing articles. I hope they encourage you as much as they did me! Daughters of Promise continues to expand and lengthen its reach of impact, now reaching individuals in over 20 countries! I am incredibly excited and humbled by this. My vision and that of the DOP team is to bless and inspire women around the world and it is so exciting to see how the Lord is growing this work to do so. Thank you for reading and sharing your comments and questions. They are a blessing! Last week, my brother Jon and I took our youngest brother, Austin, on a trip to celebrate his 13th birthday. One of the highlights of our expedition was caving—we took a guided tour and did the “Fossil Crawl”, a 2-hour hike through the innards of the Raccoon Caverns in TN. For this girl who has never been in a cave that required any posture other than standing straight up, it felt very hard-core. We crawled through muck, saw hundreds of fossils, squeezed through an 18” hole to see a 75 ft. waterfall deep in the bowels of the cave, and witnessed cavern after cavern of beautifully intricate
formations. At one point, our guide had us turn off our lights and we experienced total darkness. This was also a new experience for me. There was absolutely no light for our eyes to magnify. There was no “adjusting to th dark”. It was just black, thick-blanket darkness. Two weeks in darkness like that and a person will go blind. There are lots of spiritual parallels in our caving experience, but it was quite powerful to me to realize the extent of real darkness. Jesus’ promise that “I am the Light…whoever follows me will not walk in darkness” takes on new depths when we grasp the extent of total, can’t-seeyour-hand-in-front-of-yourface spiritual darkness. I was so grateful for our guide and lights that afternoon in the cave, without which we would have been totally lost. Even more, I am thankful for the Light of the world who illuminates my path and shatters the blackness of a life without Jesus. He is such a wonderful Guide. Bless each of you as you follow Him through the darkness and ways unknown. He will keep and lead us into safety and rest!
Rae
meetourteam RACHEL SCHROCK|VA FOUNDER, CREATIVE DIRECTOR
Rae’s unique life experiences and love for writing inspired her form DOP in 2010. She loves Jesus and longs for all women to experience healing and freedom through an intimate friendship with Him. She is an ardent fan of many things, but especially the color red, jazz, good coffee, being a nurse, and her family. In her free time, she can be found undertaking DIY projects, drinking coffee with friends or behind the lens of her beloved Canon. One of her favorite places in the whole wide world is Mae Sot Thailand, where she spent 6 wonderful months in 2011 and 2012. Above all, she strives to experience the precious gift of life with grace and gratitude.
ourphotographer CARMIE SANCHEZ|VA PHOTOGRAPHY
Carmie joined the DOP team in January 2013 as the official photographer. Photography has been one of her pursuits for several years and more recently she has acquired a love of sewing, DIY, and hosting people in her little trailer house. She is a newlywed of October 27, 2012 and her wonderful husband is Gerry. Next to feeding him and being a housekeeper, she enjoys reading and spending time with family and friends. Her expressive photography captures the essences of life and inspires many to delight in the simple joy of beauty.
ourstaffwriters BRITTANY SHULT |SC STAFF WRITER
Brittany is a schoolteacher currently living in the lovely state of South Carolina. She loves teaching her 2nd-5th graders and learning life lessons from them. Jesus is her Friend; she is thankful for everything He has done for her. She is excited about the plans that He has for her. Some of her hobbies include reading a good book and whipping up some baked goods in the kitchen, especially cupcakes! She will take a warm sunshiney day and flip flops over cold dreary winter days.
MARLENE STOLTZFUS | PA CONTENT EDITOR, STAFF WRITER
Marlene enjoys learning, living simply, and using creativity to meet a new challenge. She and her husband Kyle live in Guys Mills, Pennsylvania with their seven month old daughter Elia. They are a staff family at Faith Builders Educational Programs. Marlene is the compiler/author of the White Spaces section of DOP.
ourguestcontributors JERRI MILLER|TN Jerri Miller lives in Athens, Tn on a small farm with her husband Verlon and 5 children. They are a busy, active homeschooling family with many interests. Besides homemaking and homeschooling, Jerri enjoys music, reading, friendship, sewing, soap making, gardening and researching medical issues. After her children are through school she would enjoy getting involved in the local crises pregnancy center or other children's ministries. Jerri’s article: p. 25
STEPHANIE STAATS|TN Stephanie has been involved in the pregnancy resource ministry for 5 years, 3 years working as the Client Services Director at a center in Tennessee. Originally from Caldwell, ID, Stephanie came to Tennessee in the fall of 2006 to attend Tennessee Temple University in Chattanooga, TN. In 2010 she received her Bachelor’s Degree in Women’s Ministry with a minor in Deaf Studies Stephanie is hoping to pursue a master’s degree in professional counseling. Her interests include her two wonderful cats, music, and reading. Stephanie’s article: p. 55
MARLENA STOLTZFUS|PA Marlena is 22 and currently serving as a mentor at Bethesda Springs Farm. Mentoring and walking alongside teen girls is something she is passionate about and loves doing. She finds there is nothing as fulfilling as sharing what Jesus has so freely given her, and then stepping back and watching him work in someone else’s life. She also loves backpacking, reading, spending time with her 3 sisters, writing, and learning new things – one of those new things has been working with horses, which is fast becoming a favorite past time. A big life theme for her recently has been simply learning to rest in the Peace of God and allowing His Peace to control her heart. Marlena’s walk with Jesus is the most precious thing to her and He has been gently shaping, molding, and chipping away at the “me” inside herself this past half year especially. Marlena’s article: p. 61
WEBELIEVE habit forms character. chevron is overrated. planting things is good for people. in God’s goodness. pumpkin spice lattes are the best. in redeeming love. Jesus is Enough.
WELOVE food. liturgy. music. yellow things. the first spring rain. good coffee. DIY projects. empty notebooks. pursuing holiness. sunshine. green grass. the color red. long walks.
WESTRIVETO live with integrity. read broadly. contribute to Anabaptism. give thanks. live simply. celebrate life. be centered in God’s will. advocate for the poor and needy.
thequestfor
Pur
by an anonymous daughter of the King
ity
one woman’s journey
Living right and staying pure
were
strongly taught in my family. Though the topic wasn’t specifically stated often, it was an accepted thing that physical intimacy was strictly reserved for marriage. It was always assumed that all of us kids would save ourselves and our purity as a gift to our spouses on our wedding day. Reserving physical intimacy for marriage was upheld as something very precious. My parents set a Godly example for what a marriage committed to God should look like. I have siblings who have married and followed God in the pre-marital relationship. I had a firm foundation in the Word of God through my parents and knew what sexual sin was and that I would never, ever fall into it! All of this should be the foundation for staying pure, right? Yes, it should have been, but I’m writing this to tell you it doesn’t always turn out that way.
I met a guy who changed me in a way I never thought would be possible. We started out as friends and got to know each other mainly through Facebook and texting. He was a very smooth talker and I started to be drawn to him. I met with him a couple times to just chat and get to know him more. He told me I couldn’t say I didn’t like him unless I tried to get to know him. My parents knew of none of the meetings and that is where it all started. Why does deceiving someone always feel
I felt that because I had given in that little bit, a little more wouldn’t matter. And the more I gave in, the more I felt that I couldn’t refuse him. better than lying to someone? Girls, it’s all the same! One is not “worse” than the other. Don’t ever let yourself believe otherwise, as I did. As we met more, he began to get more physical with me. We didn’t do anything major at first, just hold hands, and an arm over the shoulder. In my world those things were “ok”. Then one evening everything changed. We met and he kissed me. I didn’t know how it had happened or why I let him do it. He
promised me we would talk to my parents and get married and that he loved me. He seemed so sweet and sincere and told me he wanted to kiss me because he loved me so much. How could I refuse? That was the start of a huge spiral down. I felt that because I had given in that little bit, a little more wouldn’t matter. And the more I gave in, the more I felt that I couldn’t refuse him. I enjoyed it, the encounters, yes, but always felt so horrible afterwards. We didn’t meet many times, but we texted and talked about inappropriate things together. So many thoughts ran through my head. I knew what we were doing was wrong; I knew he shouldn’t not be touching the parts of my body I had allowed him to, or seeing that much skin. I knew that those things should be protected until the marriage night, but I was selfish. His declarations of love and his expectation for how it should be expressed blinded me. This guy said he wanted to marry me and that we could have a wonderful life. We would pray and wait for my parents to give their blessing. He said he would wait for me as long as it took. You may wonder how I could trust him after he would take advantage of me. I was so naïve and foolish. Each time we pushed things too far physically, he would apologize and say he wanted to do what was right. I foolishly believed him. I thought, “how can I not accept his apology if he accepted mine?” There were times I wanted to go climb in a hole because of my shame and guilt. If my parents knew who their daughter really
was would they even accept me? If my friends knew what I did when no one was looking would they still think I was some solid Christian girl? One time a mother of some good friends of ours told me she was proud to see the woman I was becoming and thought I set a Godly example for the younger girls. I wanted to blurt out the truth to her right then and there… To tell her that I was not someone she would want her younger children to look up to!
Eventually, we realized we could never marry because of how different we really were. Today, I see that our relationship was not founded on love, trust, and respect for each other. It ended, and he had a new girl not long after. I was a mess. I told myself I would never put myself in that situation again and I wanted to swear off guys forever. And yet I fell again. Not as badly, and the relationship did not last as long as with the first guy, but I still made harmful compromises.
I could have stopped it all and I didn’t. It was my fault because I did not stop it. Never get caught up in saying that It’s not your fault; that “he’s the guy and leader so it’s mainly his fault”, or “he always pushes for me and that makes him the more guilty one”. While I would say that the man holds more responsibility, I would not say that it takes away our responsibility as women. Remember ladies, we are responsible for our actions and will have to face the consequences.
I kept asking myself, how I could fall again after all that I had already been through. How could I let myself be pulled into a compromise of purity again? I could barely look at myself in the mirror or go through the day. But I had to because no one knew my secret. I couldn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t bear what they would think of me if they knew the truth. So, I hid it. I put on the best façade I could and no one suspected my secrets.
Never get caught up in saying that it’s not your fault… we are responsible for our actions and will have to face the consequences.
My way of dealing with the past was to move on and bury it. Act like it never happened and it would go away, right? But it didn’t. The memories carried such torment. I spent many nights, crying myself to sleep, crying out to God to cleanse me and mold me into His image. Years went by and the pain did dull and the images were not quite as clear and vivid. But the guilt was still there. I knew God had forgiven me and I was washed clean, but I knew in my heart that I would never feel complete peace until I had confessed to my parents. Not only had I sinned against God, but also I had sinned against them and they had no idea. Though I knew I needed to tell them the truth, the thought of sitting down and confessing was unimaginably hard. I just could not do it. A good friend gave me a book about a woman who went through something like I have. It was very good and helped me work through things I was feeling. One night as I read, I was overwhelmed by guilt heavier than I had ever experienced
before. I don’t even remember if what I was reading had anything to do with it, but I just knew at that moment I could not wait any longer. I had to talk with my Dad and confess. I sat before my dad, tears streaming down my face and told him what I had done. Did he condemn me? Did he go into a rage of anger? Did he look at me like I had disappointed him beyond what he could bear?
He looked at me and said he forgave me, no condemnation in his eyes, no outburst of anger. Oh, the father’s love for his children.
He looked at me and said he forgave me, no condemnation in his eyes, no outburst of anger. He said he was disappointed, but he knew the struggle I had had and how hard it could be. He gave me a hug and prayed with me. I don’t remember the words of his prayer, but it was the sweetest thing I have ever heard. Oh, the father’s love for his children. I went to bed that night, expecting to feel that the huge weight on my shoulders had been lifted. I didn’t. I didn’t know what to think so I went to sleep. I woke up the next morning and realized it wasn’t there. The guilt, the shame, the deception was gone. It wasn’t a dramatic thing like some books or stories portray, but I could go through my day knowing that now, not only my heavenly Father had forgiven me, but my earthly one as well. Girls, I am sharing this sad, long story with you as a challenge and warning. Have you suffered from sexual sin? Maybe you have never sinned physically, but are you reading, looking, or thinking things that compromise your purity? Have you defiled your body? There are several things that went through my mind when everything was going on, but it wasn’t until it was all over that I realized: I will one day have to tell the man I love the things I have done. To think of looking in his eyes and baring my soul to him and to be so disappointed in all the “firsts” that I stole from him. I wish
someone had told me this when I was in the middle of what I was doing. If you are going through something similar please listen! Will your first kiss be your husband’s? Will your first touch be his and his alone? Will your body be his to first see, feel, and hold? I never gave away my virginity and for that I thank God, but the depth of shame for other sins can be just as devastating. I gave away a part of me and I can never change that. Ladies, have standards and boundaries. Stick to them. Share them with close family members or girl-friends and let them help you stay accountable. Don’t put yourself into a situation where you might fall. Don’t put yourself into a situation with a man who does not want to honor your boundaries and cherish you as a daughter of the King. Guard your hearts and bodies for that one man that God will bring to you one day. Pray for strength. Your body is your husband’s. Even if you don’t know him yet, save every part of yourself for him! There is nothing sweeter than living without the weight of shame. Wait for your husband so that you can offer him the gift of purity. It will be one of the greatest treasures you will ever give. |
“I talk at an intimate level at the first meeting.” “I don’t ever open up, even to people I know to be trustworthy and caring. I’m not going to be put into a position where I can get hurt again.” “I am talking constantly to a guy who has issues I feel responsible to help him solve. It’s hard to think about anything else.”
… …… I let others direct my life through their opinions on my clothing, career choice, church, or dating relationships. “I entertain sexual or emotional fantasies about
a man who is not my husband.”
“I do not express my opinion or I change my mind to avoid creating conflict.”
“I have a hard time saying ‘no’ to a friend who makes constant demands on my time and emotions.”
o any of these statements sound familiar? They are expressions of individuals who have a hard time with boundaries. For me, many of them are strikingly familiar—as a teenager, I did not have healthy boundaries in place around my heart and mind. It wasn’t that I rebelled against them; I simply lacked understanding. Feelings of inferiority and
D
shame often drove me to others for a sense of worth and identity, and over and over I got hurt. I wish now that I had understood better the gift and protection of healthy boundaries. Today, having come a long way from those rocky teenage years, my heart is stirred for young women who face a similar battle. Many have not been given godly examples of
healthy boundaries. Others do not grasp their value to Jesus and reach out in inappropriate ways to receive the love they crave. In general, there seems to be a huge lack of understanding. What are boundaries really for and how should we apply them to our lives? Join me as together we discover the truth and how to guard our lives as precious daughters of God.
A boundary is a line that indicates where something ends and something else begins. In life, boundaries protect us from harmful intrusions, while also allowing us to engage meaningfully in all aspects of life. They are created for our good! However, when used wrongly, boundaries can be very harmful. One such type is weak boundaries. These tend to happen when our longings and desires take us to things or people for fulfillment. I have known dozens of women, including myself, whose longings for acceptance drove them to do almost anything. Weak boundaries make it hard to say “no”—to the persuasive salesman; the boyfriend who pushes for sex; the child who begs for candy; or the neighbor who consistently interrupts your family dinner. There is a high price for weak boundaries, often leading to worse and worse consequences as we compromise standards and put our bodies, minds, and hearts in danger’s way. On the
flip-side, boundaries can also be too tight, also causing us harm. Sometimes pain drives us to build walls around our hearts, making sure that nobody can get close enough to hurt us. In the end, we experience deeper pain as our walls push people away and rob us of real joy. Building walls is the same as not trusting God. He is our Almighty Father and will protect us. When we live with a selfprotected vice-grip on life, we are trying to be in control. Healthy boundaries let us live with balance—awareness of the dangers, but also a sense of rest as we trust God to take care of us.
To help keep this balance, there are three important principles to keep in mind. The
first is to remember your worth in Christ. When we go to others for security or throw up walls to protect ourselves, we are not resting in the love of Jesus. He is the only one who can meet our deepest needs and He longs to! If you struggle with doubt, listen to these tender expressions of love for the Father for you as His child:
“I know when you sit down, and when you rise up. I am familiar with all your ways. I determined the exact time of your birth, and where you would live. I knit you together in your mother’s womb. My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore, I chose you when I
planned creation. I rejoice over you with singing. I am the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. If you will seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Nothing will ever separate you from my love.”
have not seen godly examples. Many more have misconceptions that make boundaries seem negative or useless. I will share two that I once believed, and that you may struggle with as well. Excerpts taken
What security is in our position as daughters of the King! Knowing Whose we are changes everything about the way we live. If we have been bought with the blood of Christ and adopted as His daughters, then what we do with our time, bodies, minds, and hearts, matters! The more we understand who we are in Him, the more we desire to honor Him with every part of our lives. At the same time, the urge to cling to others for security fades. The temptation to build walls and micro-manage dissolves. Proper boundaries grow from a proper sense of identity. To build them, focus not on creating them, but on knowing Jesus.
The first is that boundaries equal restriction. I can see why we would think this. After all, a boundary is, by definition, a limit. It divides things. As a young person, I felt that having boundaries meant giving up something I wanted or being trapped by rules to enforce appropriate behavior. It seemed so negative. Since then, I have learned a liberating truth: good boundaries do not entrap, but actually free us to experience life in its fullest capacity! Think for a minute about the boundaries in the world around you: rivers have borders; highways have traffic lines; pages have margins; land is divided by property lines. Consider the purpose of these boundaries. What would happen without them? Boundaries allow whole systems of nature, commerce, and transportation to function at the height of their intended capacity. Boundaries in our lives work the same way. When we tell the truth, eat healthy, learn to say “no”, or communicate respectfully, life works smoothly. In a way, boundaries do create restriction. But it is these very restrictions that ultimately release us to live at the crest of what God intended us to be.
Secondly, it is important understand the purpose of boundaries. Many girls
good
boundaries
do not
entrap, but
free
us to experience
life in its
fullest
capacity!
and paraphrased, from Psalm 139; Eph. 1:11-12; Zeph. 3:17; 2 Cor. 1:3-4; Ps. 34:18; Deut. 4:29; Rom. 8:38-39.
The second misconception is that boundaries primarily apply to relationships. In fact, most conversations beginning with “boundaries” end in “appropriate guy-girl relationships”. While this is certainly an important aspect, it is only a small part! God created us as holistic beings, comprised of many parts. Therefore, He
cares about far more than just our relationships, but expects us to guard our whole being in an act of worship to Him. Guarding just one part leads to imbalance and frustration. Healthy boundaries only work well when they are present in every area of our lives. In thinking about how we can do this, we come to the final principle of boundaries:
They must be applied! Undergirded by a growing intimacy with Jesus, we can live with proper boundaries. Learn from your mistakes and remember Whose you are as you construct boundaries around these five areas of life.
Time. Time is a gift on loan from God, and must be respected. If you have difficulty saying no to people who make constant demands on your time, then you may need to rethink your concept of appropriate time bounds. Kindly but firmly set limits on others’ use of your time. You are not your lonely neighbor’s only hope when he “drops in” every evening and stays for two hours. It’s ok to respectfully tell your boss “no” when you are frequently asked to come in on your day off. Also be
conscious of how you use others’ time. Don’t show up late for meetings. Meet deadlines. And invest your time with eternal dividends in mind: help an elderly neighbor; make time for coffee with a friend; spend one-on-one time with your kids. Invest wisely.
Emotional. Exercise wisdom in relating emotionally to others. Share feelings and personal struggles with discernment, especially with men. Even with girlfriends, allow trust to form before you start sharing intimately. Be careful not to manipulate others through emotional statements like, “You caused me so much pain!” or, “You don’t want to do that!” or, “You don’t want me to be disappointed in you, do you?” This is an inappropriate way to be involved in others’ decisions. If you are on the receiving end of manipulative
comments, respond respectfully but firmly: “I appreciate your input, but I feel this is where God is leading me.” Or, “If you have a concern, I will be glad to consider it.” Girls, be very cautious about having a “savior” mentality towards hurting guys in your life. Their needs may tug at your heart, but you are not responsible for fixing them. If a young man seems to need you but isn’t pursuing your heart intentionally, he should be firmly refused and encouraged to turn to his guy friends. Emotional boundaries seem to be the hardest to maintain and the easiest to compromise—especially when we are discouraged or lonely or tired. But keep your standards, girls! They are for your protection and will help spare you heartache.
of God and input from wise mentors to help you decide what is right and how to live. Too many women do not do the work of sorting through information and ideas themselves, but follow the lead of others. This results in a lot of weak individuals who fall for some really bad ideas and have shallow convictions. Graciously invite the input of others, and then filter it through the Truth of the Word. Also remember that God has uniquely crafted each of our minds and we should respect others’ ideas, even when we disagree with them. Never esteem or scorn others based on their level of intelligence, but offer them the dignity of expressing their thoughts in whatever capacity they are able. This is validating and a tremendous gift.
Mental. Be vigilant about guarding what
Physical. For the believer, the body is
goes into your mind. What we fill them with will eventually show up in our actions, so guard your thoughts wisely. Use the Word
much more than flesh, sensitive to warmth, touch, cold, and pain. It is the dwelling place of God! What we do with our
Worship God with your whole being. Keep your time, emotions, mind, body, and spirit pure for His glory.
bodies, and allow others to do to them, matters. Physical touch can be very healing—or very invasive. Inappropriate or unwanted physical touch—regardless of who it’s from—is wrong. Ladies, set high standards and do not back down. Learn to say “no” when you are uncomfortable or feel violated physically, regardless of who is involved. Do not place yourself in positions of compromise and never apologize for a high standard of physical purity. In addition to this, place boundaries around your exercise and eating habits. Too often, we neglect this sort of discipline and fall into addictive eating habits, laziness, or obsession with our appearance. The Holy Spirit lives within us; do we guard our bodies as His dwelling place?
God created a world of order, and boundaries are the means by which order is maintained. That from limitation comes the freedom to function exactly as designed is an astonishing and marvelous paradox. Embrace it in your own life! Reject the idea that boundaries are nothing but rules designed to crimp and bore us. Instead, remember Whose you are, and seek to honor Him with every aspect of your being. The boundaries you
The boundaries you set in place will ultimatey bring a greater freedom.
Spiritual. My former instructor, Frank Reed made this statement: “God’s claim on [a person’s] life needs to be respected.” This means that we understand their value to God and do not try to browbeat our own beliefs into them. Spiritual boundaries guard against misuse of the Scriptures and enable us to teach and receive truth in love. They also protect us from compromise. Ask yourself: Do I have nonnegotiables when it comes to my values, or am I willing to compromise for the sake of a relationship? Accepting the input of others is appropriate; being willing to “do anything” to maintain good feelings, is not.
set in place will ultimately bring a greater freedom. Be blessed, sisters, as you strive to do this. |
Excerpts taken and paraphrased, from Psalm 139; Eph. 1:1112; Zeph. 3:17; 2 Cor. 1:3-4; Ps. 34:18; Deut. 4:29; Rom. 8:38-39.
Q&A Q
“I would love to hear some advice on how to enjoy life as a single. Living alone. Who's only childhood dream was to be a wife and mom. Who's friends are rapidly getting married and having children. Who finds herself daydreaming of her day far too often. Who really wants to use this time to get to know her Abba Father better. . .but finds it just really hard. Thanks.�
{on singlehood}
A
First, thank you for sharing! This issue is one I have wrestled with myself for many years. I know how lonely the journey can be. I always thought I'd be married with one or two children by now--yet, here I am....25 years old and still single. The desire to love and be loved is deep and strong. As easy as it is to say (and not always so easy to live), every desire of your heart meets in the person of Jesus Christ. I know it doesn't always feel very real when we're longing to be held and cherished by a man. But over the years, I have experienced that drawing near to the Lord's heart fills me with meaning and joy--regardless of my circumstance. I encourage you to do as David did, and pour your heart out before the Lord. He created you and He longs to hear your every desire. Psalms 37 promises that when we commit our way to the Lord, He will give us the desires of our hearts. I have clung to this verse over the years. You see, the beautiful thing is that the closer
we draw to Jesus and the more we make Him the center of everything, our own desires begin to change. The pursuit of CHRIST rather than the pursuit of a husband becomes most important. It is out of that kind of relationship, surrendered and openhanded before God, that beautiful earthly relationships spring. It's ok to daydream. Your longings exist because God created you to experience intimate relationship. I think the most important thing is to keep them in their proper place-longings exist because we long for God. Don't get distracted looking at your desires and miss the face of Jesus. I also encourage you to be busy while you wait. Don't waste your precious gifts by putting your life on hold! Your heart was formed to nurture, love, and show hospitality. Find tangible ways to invest these things in the people/community around you. Over the years, this is something that has brought incredible joy to my life--truly a special gift when all my friends have been experiencing the joy of
marriage and their first babies while I "miss out". Find ways to purpose-fill your life! If you're not already involved in positions of giving, then perhaps you should pray about involving yourself. As we pour out our hearts for others, God fills us. It may not be the way we expect, or choose, but we bring Him glory and in turn receive huge blessing when we give of ourselves to love others. Find ways to bless people--babysit some children, invite people over, buy your friend coffee, volunteer at a community outreach. Too many single women waste their greatest impact b/c they assume it is only valuable in the context of marriage and motherhood. You may not have birthed any children, but you can be a fun and creative "mother" to dozens by meaningful involvement in the lives of young people. You might not have your own house (not sure of your living situation), but your presence can be a place of hospitality and safety to many. You don't have a husband to love and serve,
but you can be a woman whose heart is captivated by her groom, Jesus. I'm still learning how to apply all these things to my own life. I was at a baby shower just this week and felt that ache of longing jump up inside me.... So the journey goes on. My own challenge and the one I extend to you is to turn your eyes on Jesus, esp. in those times when the ache of desire is extra strong. Don't let the Enemy use self-pity or loneliness or frustration to distract you from the incredible work you can do TODAY! As you pursue intimacy with Jesus, He will fill you. His presence will satisfy you deep inside. This season of waiting is shaping you and preparing you for something special ahead....it is not going to waste! Blessings on you as you walk the journey of singlehood and find Jesus in this season! A fellow sojourner,
Rae
July-August Q&A topic:
God’s Will. Send your thoughts and questions to daughtersof_promise@yahoo.com, or post on our Facebook page: facebook.com/daughtersofpromise1.
Resting Jesus
IN
Learning the art of ‘Resting in Jesus’ is one of those lessons of the heart that will keep us in school for a life time. The class textbooks are the circumstances which surround our lives and the relationships with those whom we hold most dear. It has been said that compared to men, we as women have an edge on spiritual
sensitivity because of our receptive nature. It is among women though, that I observe the most intense struggle to let go of fears and anxieties and place trust (rest) in the Redeemer of our souls. We as women are tuned into our emotional self; therefore we more readily experience life on an emotional, rather than an intellectual level.
By Jerri Miller This may be why we at times struggle so deeply to experience true rest in our souls. Pressing on through the struggle to find victory is an opportunity to display the amazing grace of God in our lives as we surrender to Him. Let me attempt to chronicle a bit of my journey. All of us approach life with the perspective that we
are given as a child. What we experience in the first years of life is what becomes our ‘normal’ and what forms our expectations. My early years were idyllic in the sense of being carefree and unaware of the stresses and difficulties that life brings. My parents faced hardships and difficulties in a number of areas; heartbreaking
circumstances were present with my siblings. I, being the youngest in the family, was shielded from these realities, I suppose. I have learned since that my parent’s way of dealing with personal struggle was not to cast blame or to project their struggle onto others. I did not observe their grief. Some may debate their method of dealing with pain, but the lesson I learned from them was to choose to believe the best in others and accept situations which are not yours to control. I also had the privilege of hearing my mother express her life view, for she would often state, “He knows all about it.” I then observed her calmly continue her work for the day. This was an example of a simple, yet profound trust in an all powerful, all knowing, all caring God and influenced my perspective.
Children have the innocent quality of absolute trust, evidenced by the tender hand placed quickly into the palm of the trusted adult and the face uplifted, waiting for the next direction. This is to be our
perspective as we relate to our Heavenly Father.
Children process pain differently than adults and better flex with life. Coming to grips with our fears and anxiety is something we must grapple with more fully as we enter adulthood. Jesus said that we are to come to Him as little children. Children have the innocent quality of absolute trust. This is evidenced by the tender hand placed quickly and joyously into the palm of the trusted adult and the face uplifted in sweetness waiting for the next direction. This is to be our stance, our pose, our perspective on life as we relate to our Heavenly Father. I was given a picture of this a few years ago that has remained in my memory. It was 1994 when my husband and I and three-month-old baby moved from a little trailer situated in a pine forest to the state of Tennessee. The night before we moved, a fierce storm blew in. As I packed the boxes, I placed my baby girl into her basinet for a nap. After a bit, it seemed as though the wind had picked up speed. I suddenly felt extremely vulnerable in my flimsy little trailer as I glanced out the window and saw those tall pines swaying like blades of grass back and forth in the wind. Fear gripped my heart. I walked over to my baby’s basinet. There she was in the middle of the fierce storm, totally relaxed in deep, untroubled sleep. The whisper came to me, “This is what the attitude of your heart towards me should be no matter what storms are raging about you.”
“Faith is…the handle by which I
take
God’s promises and apply them to my particular problems.”
–Pamela Reeves
Somehow though, as we move beyond the stage of childhood simplicity into the stage of adult reason, we are prone to lose sight of the innocence of spirit that acts as a protective insulation around our souls. We gain a broader view of life, we see the hardness and inconsistencies in the lives of others, we struggle with the reality of the world and its pain, we doubt God’s goodness and omnipotence, and our spirits lose their rest. It has been said that what we worry about, stress out about, and panic about, is an indicator of the idols of our heart. I have found this to be true. The idols in my life have been people and relationships. There were a number of tumultuous events present in my teenage and young adult years. It was through the love, care and friendships of others, along with their spiritual encouragement, that I was able to work through these events and find peace. Through thesetimes I developed a deep appreciation for the value of friendship and encouragement. God has also given me personally a deep love and care for
Whenever we find our spirits entering a place of unrest, we need to get alone with God and invite Him into our minds and hearts for an evaluation of what is there.
others. People are really all that matter to me. I enjoy them, I care about them, I love being with them. But as a result of this priority, when I find myself in a situation where a relationship is threatened, or if someone I care deeply about is in trouble I easily go into panic mode, anxiety comes rushing into my heart and I stress out. People and relationships are good. They are important. They have eternal, spiritual value. Yet, as with anything else in life, if I place a higher value on people than on God, they become the idol at which I worship. Whenever we find our spirits entering a place of unrest, we need to get alone with God and invite Him into our minds and hearts for an evaluation of what is there. God our Father and Creator knows each one of us intimately and He knows the idols of our hearts. His plan is for us to be fully His and He will work in our hearts to remove those things we place above Him. This may be a test, a pruning session to cut away those things which please our flesh most. For me the test has been in the area of relationships; for you it may be something entirely different. In the field of nursing, a Care Plan is used to guide the caregivers in a plan of action for each patient. The outline consists of a
Diagnosis, a Goal, a Plan of Action, and an Evaluation. The Lord is not only our Creator God, but He is also our Great Physician. He has a Care Plan for each of us in our emotional and spiritual lives, and His Goal is that we find rest in Him. Finding a place of rest in Jesus is not easy when surrounded by difficult and confusing circumstances or sticky relationships. I would like to use the idea of God’s Care Plan for us as a guide toward a solution.
human sink hole and get alone with God, lay the situation and our troubled hearts before him…….. tell Him all about it and then quiet our spirits to listen to His voice. He is the Great Physician who can best help us in identifying both our issues and the way out. Jesus said in John 8:32, “You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.” This speaks of freedom from sin and the gift of salvation, but I believe it is also speaking of the freedom to live in joy, peace and rest! HIS GOAL FOR US:
Let not your heart be troubled, you believe in God, believe also in me. John 14:1 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you. John 14:27 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts. Colossians 3:15 But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace…Galatians 5:22 DIAGNOSIS: Human nature gravitates toward wanting to figure things out on our own. We have insecurities. Spiritually we struggle with a lack of trust, unbelief, independence of spirit, self-confident vs. God confident, etc. These spiritual and emotional issues set us up for the battle. To effectively work through the struggle we must first identify the specific issue. I often get emotionally stuck in the troubling situation and spend hours mentally rehearsing what happened or how I felt about it. We need to move beyond this
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee… Isaiah 26:3 In quietness and confidence shall be your strength. Isaiah 30:15 THE PLAN OF ACTION: MEDITATE. BELIEVE. SIT IN HIS PRESENCE. Let your mind REST on Him. DISCLOSE to Him your anxious thoughts concerning your present circumstances. QUIET your spirit before Him and LISTEN for His voice.
Come unto me all ye that are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things. Jeremiah 33:3 The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon Him in truth. Psalms 145:18
God is gently saying to us, “Let go! Let Me have this relationship; let Me work out my will for you.
Let Me have your job, your house, your marriage…I will carry it for you.” I envision myself coming into the presence of Jesus, my Great Physician, knowing in my heart that He has the cure for my pain. He reaches toward me, stretching out his hand with a cure, the pill of truth. I reach out and take it saying, “Thank-You, Jesus.” Yet somehow, I never take the medicine. I hold it in my hand. I take it home with me. I think about it, yet I do not take the final step and actually swallow what He has given. It is not until I ingest and embrace with my heart and emotions the truth about His character, and Plan of Action for my life--letting it change me from the inside out--that I will find rest for my soul. Following is a short list of cures He has prescribed for
me. There are SO many more in His precious, life-giving Word!
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Psalms 12:6. {Nothing generic here; His Word is name-brand power!} I am the way, the truth and the life. John 14:6 {He alone is our life source.} Fret not. Delight thyself in the Lord. Commit thy way unto Him. Rest and wait patiently. Psalms 37 I will trust and not be afraid: for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also is become my Salvation. Isaiah 12:2 He giveth power to the faint and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; Isaiah 40:29, 31 Fear thou not, for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy god: I will strengthen thee, yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10. I will never leave thee nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5. It is only to the extent to which I believe that God is really who He says He is that I can apply His cure to my heart. Do I really believe that He is ALLKNOWING; that He understands
Suggested Reading 'Keep a Quiet Heart'
by Elizabeth Elliot
'Let Go'
by Fenelon
'Lies Women Believe'
by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
'Battlefield of the mind'
by Joyce Meyer
exactly what I am experiencing today? Do I REALLY believe that He is ALL-POWERFUL; that He can change and will change my situation when the time is right? Do I REALLY believe that he is present EVERYWHERE; that He is right beside me and dwells in my heart, AND is present in the lives and circumstances of my loved ones wherever they currently are? Do I REALLY believe? EVALUATION: How am I doing with this? Is my heart at rest? Is my mind full of anxious thoughts? Am I picking up the burden that I set down yesterday? What am I thinking about today? Is my mind focused on Jesus, with confidence that He will work things out for my good? Have I swallowed the prescription given? I was sitting on my porch one morning crying out to God for an answer to my particular struggle when He spoke to my heart with a word picture comparing our physical heart to our emotional heart. When a person has a heart attack, the heart muscles contract so tightly that the life-giving oxygenated blood cannot flow
through. This muscle contraction prevents the blood from giving its life to the rest of the body. The person faints, the body goes limp, and death follows. When we allow anxiety/panic into our lives, our emotional heart follows the same pattern as the physical. Our emotions contract, spasm, and freeze and the lifegiving truth of Jesus cannot find access into our spirits. We cannot get our breath. We cannot find the oxygen needed to live. We lose our life in God. God is gently saying to us, “Let go! Let Me have this relationship; let Me work out my will for you. Let Me have your job, your house, your marriage, your_____________. I will carry it for you.� In the same way that we relax our grip on a tightly clenched fist, we need to symbolically open & relax (unlock) our heart to Jesus, giving Him free access, letting Him to unwind our tangle of emotions, receiving the warmth and life of Christ and His rest of spirit in our hearts. |
To “let go” does not mean to stop caring; it means I can’t do it for someone else. To “let go” is not to cut myself off; it’s the realization that I can’t control another. To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. To “let go” is not to try [to] change or blame another: it’s to make the best of myself. To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive. To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about. To “let go” is not to judge, but to let another be a human being. To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcome, but to
allow others to effect their own destinies. To “let go” is not to be protective; it’s to permit another to face reality. To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept. To “let go” is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them. To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it. To “let go” is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be. To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. To “let go” is to fear less and love more. To “let go” is to let God. (Author Unknown)
prayer the Lord will receive my
By Brittany Shult
I could hardly believe what I had done. How stupid and how immature. I was an adult who should have known better, could have done better. In a fit of anger over a petty argument, I had wrecked my laptop. It became all but useless.
paging through Psalms. I wasn't looking for anything in particular. I just wanted encouragement, something that would tell me that everything would be alright and that God still loved me.
I frantically tried to restart the system, tried everything I could to get it back to normal. Deep down inside, however, I knew that I deserved a broken laptop. To have the piece of hardware suddenly come to life would have made me feel almost more guilty.
And then I stumbled across two simple verses. And as I read them, I cried again, but this time the tears were because I could feel the hand of God's grace.
How could I have done that? I desperately wished to rewind my life back just three minutes in order to respond properly to the situation at hand instead of taking my frustrations out on my laptop. Some people probably would have said it was better to take my anger out on my laptop than on my sister with whom I had been arguing. But I knew better then that. Anger was anger regardless of what or whom it was directed at. I tried to pray, to seek God and His forgiveness. I didn't feel worthy to come before His throne. Tears fell as I prayed, but I still felt as broken and useless as my laptop. I picked up my Bible and began
"Depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity; for the Lord hath heard the voice of my weeping. The Lord hath heard my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer." Psalm 6:89.
This may seem over dramatic. After all, it was just a laptop and the situation was petty and juvenile. However, I learned that even though I had done something ridiculous, God still cared about me and cared about what happened. The little things matter to God. He is our Father and a father cares for his children. Next time you feel silly for a situation you could have avoided, remember that God loves you in spite of what you have done. He will hear your prayer and He will lead you. |
Keeping The
Apostle Paul has a lot to say about walking. Not the kind that happens leisurely through the woods or down a moonlit beach, but the spiritual kind: the stride of the believer. Recently I read through his epistles and wrote down each exhortation to “walk in/as” something. I was inspired. In the walk of the believer, every footfall carries weight. “Walk worthy of your vocation.” “Walk in love.” “Walk as children of the light.” and “Walk carefully.” They are all important. But there was one that fascinated me above the rest. Paul calls all believers to something rather curious: “If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit” [Gal. 5:25]. I mulled long over why Paul makes this distinction. How can “living” in the Spirit be different from “walking” in Him? Aren’t they the same? Curiosity and a love for Greek word studies compelled me to find out. Along the way, I discovered simple truths, meaningful to my journey as a believer.
By Rae Schrock
Paul’s choice of words provides illumination to his intended meaning. In Galatians 5:25, “live” is the Greek word “zao”, which indicates a fullness and vibrancy of living. Paul isn’t talking about the physical, biological condition of being alive, but the Spirit-deep essence of being invigorated and abundantly alive. Those who have met Jesus know about this kind of life! It transforms and fills us with hope, transcending all earthly sorrows and trials. This kind of life is only possible through the indwelling of the Spirit of God. From sin, He rescues us, and raises us to true life. The word “walk” comes from a Greek verb stoicheo, which, in context, means, “to march in military rank; keep step with; and go prosperously forward” with the Holy Spirit of God. Wow! The stride of the Christian is to keep pace with the Holy Spirit, as a soldier marches in rank with His commander. To live in the Spirit, but not walk in Him is like joining the army but refusing to participate. How long would this soldier last? In his candid way, Paull
Commander
is giving us a jolt of reality: “If the Spirit has raised you to abundant life, then live like it!” We have joined the army—let’s march with our Captain, not hide out in the tent. With the Spirit working inside, our lives should progressively evidence His presence. After these word studies, I pondered some more. How do I really keep step with the Spirit? What does it mean to walk with Him? Four observations of walking have become meaningful to me. I believe they contain strong spiritual parallels.
A walk is not a run. Anyone can give a short burst of energy and then bail out, spent. To walk is to be steady, faithful, calculated. It takes real maturity to do this—especially when we know that the journey could take a while and the road won’t always be smooth. Sometimes I think I am a better runner. I like to move quickly; change the scene frequently; keep a back door open in case I get bored or need a fast escape. Walking means there will be plenty of time for consequences to catch up. And just in case they’re negative, I’d prefer to get in, and get out. In the spiritual journey however, to run ahead of God is to invite despair and frustration. Walking alongside may seem crazy at times. Yet, it is in matching the pace of the Spirit that we experience rest. Where He goes, I go. When He turns, so do I. If He stops, I do too. There is no rushing God. His time is perfect and He knows the way. I would never dream of running ahead of my guide in a dark cave. In fact, I would stay
pinned to his side. Doesn’t it make sense, then, to carefully the follow the stride of the Creator of the Universe? If I trust the Spirit of God, then I will walk with Him. And know that even if we are marching into battle, to stride in His shadow puts me in the safest place in the universe.
A walk is not a crawl. Babies crawl, and they are slow. It takes forever to get from one place to the next, and there are extreme limitations. You can’t accomplish much on hands and knees. Walking frees my hands to serve, to embrace, to work, to enter the battle uninhibited. To move confidently into new places, frightening situations, or even ordinary tasks is completely impossible for a toddler who hasn’t learned to walk. Our spiritual usefulness requires us to grow out of spiritual weakness and dependency on others. Our spiritual impact is weak as long as we are crawling in the faith. Learning to walk means rejecting the things that keep us down on all fours. Each woman faces a different obstacle. For some it may be fear; for others, bitterness. Jesus stands beside us to lift us up out of ourselves and onto His grace. What a precious gift as we strive to stand tall in the power of the Spirit.
Paul is giving us a jolt of reality: “If the Spirit has raised you to
abundant life, then live like it!”
A walk is not a standstill. This may sound obvious, but it is important. To walk is to move forward. We walk because we need to get somewhere! In order to serve God and minister to others, we must get our spiritual legs in motion. A message has no impact unless I stir my limbs to deliver it. Don’t sit
around waiting for the perfect time or opportunity. Now [not tomorrow, nor yesterday] is the only time you can serve God. The Spirit is calling us to act with kindness, love, and service. Get in motion and begin today. There is no task too small to bring Him glory.
A walk is not aimless. We walk to accomplish a mission—whether it’s retrieving milk from the fridge, a brisk stroll for exercise, getting the mail, or moving across the room to offer a hug. We don’t wander around in circles, talking to ourselves. There is intention in our stride. What is the ultimate goal of the spiritual walk? Why do you get out of bed and put on Christ and walk out into a crazy, dying world each day? What is the reason behind the menial tasks like that neverending pile of laundry? What compels you
minister to a bitter neighbor? To ask a friend for forgiveness? For the believing woman, the motivation of her actions, no matter how menial or significant, is the desire to glorify God. The Spirit helps us. When our goal is to honor Christ, our walk with its repetitive tasks and relationships will not be aimless, but in the direction of what glorifies God. Following the Spirit simply means tangibly living out a love for God. For this woman on a journey, Paul’s words struck a lasting chord. I hope the music continues to echo as I strive to let the Holy Spirit impact every part of my life. In conclusion, remember that walking is just a series of steps, all strung together. This how we walk with God: one moment, one choice at a time. Together, as an army of the redeemed, we can move forward with our Great Commander, guided by His Spirit. |
We walk with God one
moment, one choice at a time.
Becoming Life through Carmony’s Lens
The world has finally burst forth with new life. Flowers have blossomed in radiant hues, trees are showing off their shades of green, birds are in a never-ending chorus of praise to their Maker.
And yet, none of this happens overnight or in the same timing.
There is a hidden work that takes place within each flower, each tree before it is revealed on the outside for all to see and some take longer then others to be revealed.
Likewise, in our hearts there is sometimes much work that must be done before the result is ready to be unveiled.
We must be patient as God works in us "to will and to do of His good pleasure" and in His timing, His work will be manifested in us.
“Though I walk in the midst of
trouble, you
preserve my life; you stretch out your hand …and your right hand
delivers
me. The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your
steadfast
love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the
work of your hands.” [Psalm 138:7-8]
scarfology
life&style By Brittany Shult
e all have those days when we look at the hangers of clothes in our closets and become convinced that we have nothing to wear. Either our clothes aren't stylish enough or we're just plain tired of them. Usually a shopping trip is deemed a high priority. However, with a little creative thinking, those clothes can become something new and exciting.
W
Take the ordinary neck scarf, for example. Scarves come in myriads of lengths, widths, colors, and patterns. However, with a little vision, one can break out of the classic around-the-neck use and wear scarves in other creative ways. We [Brittany and Rae] put our heads together one afternoon and experimented to come up with a few. It was a lot of fun and we found several great uses of the scarf to spice up one’s wardrobe. Here are three for your perusal and trial! We hope they ideas inspire you to find ways to use what you already have to develop new and tasteful outfits as well!
the accessory . If you decide to use the scarf as it was intended, here is one of my favorite ways to tie it. Begin by folding the scarf in half. Take the folded scarf and place it around your neck. Pull the bottom strand of scarf through the loop. Tuck the second strand over and under. Adjust both strands to the tightness you prefer.
the wraparound skirt.
Take a wide neck scarf and begin wrapping it around your waist. Where you startwrapping will depend on the length of your scarf, but you're going to want the scarf to end with the edge fastening somewhere on the front of your waist and slightly to the side. Fasten the layers of scarf together with a safety pin and finish off with a cute belt.
For the stretch top, we used a scarf with some stretch to it. I tried this technique using a scarf without stretch and the results weren't as satisfactory. Beginning in the front, wrap the scarf around and cross it in the back. Be sure that there is an even amount of scarf on each side as you cross. Bring both of those ends around to the front and tie off in a square knot. I decided to complete my look with a cardigan, but you can choose to opt out of that if you wish.
the stretch top.
THE THRIFT ADDICT by Brittany Shult
sun dress
con version I
am not a seamstress. At all.Period. However, I have been inspired by all the tutorials floating around the internet world describing how to take thrift store clothes and refashion them into something cute to wear.
I was in Goodwill not too long ago and stumbled across this adorable sundress. After trying it on, I discovered that it was far too short to be considered modest. Because I hated to let it go, I started eyeballing it and became certain that I could turn it into a summer skirt without going to too much trouble.
Step 1
I started by cutting off the top part where it crosses in the front. Right underneath that is a small band of elastic. I left about an inch of material to fold over the elastic. (Unfortunately, we failed to get a photo of this particular step.)
Step 2
Once I was finished trimming, I folded over that one inch flap and secured it all the way around with pins. If you decide to do something similar to this, be careful when you fold the extra material over. Sometimes the elastic wants to roll and you have to keep it flat as you fold and pin.
Step 3 Next comes my least favorite part: the sewing. Actually, it was a lot more simple then I thought it would be. Be sure to keep your needle from running into the elastic on the inside, otherwise you'll lose your stretch. Finish sewing all the way around and voila! You just made a skirt in a few simple steps.
fun. simple.
crea
tive.
Couleur Amor heartburn, and high blood pressure can also Color affects us in almost every aspect of our lives,
receive benefits from anitoxidants.
whether we realize it or not. Our emotions respond
Here is a short list of good-for-you yellow foods
to various colors in different ways while physically
that
our bodies benefit from consumption of colorful foods.
you
can
started on:
get
Yellow is a grand way
This issue's color topic is centered on yellow.
to add a pop of
Emotionally, yellow encourages joy and happiness.
cheerfulness
bursting with warm, golden light versus a grey day
Just be careful when
when clouds cover the sky. This bright color also
using bright shades.
aiding in memorization, developing new ideas, and
yellow
can
be
sharpens clear thinking and decision making skills.
overwhelming
and
the study process.
opting for a soft, buttery yellow. This shade is more
Being cheerful is much easier when the sun is
stimulates creative and intellectual processes,
This is one reason why yellow notepads can help While yellow is an optimistic color, it can also have a negative impact. Sometimes too much yellow can
interior
Too
in
decorating.
much
bright
fatiguing. If your heart is set on a yellow room, try calming and easier on the eyes then a bright yellow.
cause headaches and nausea in some people.
Small bursts of yellow add great emphasis to a
Yellow is also the color of low self-esteem and
room. Perhaps a couple throw pillows will do the
bellied."
room table. A clear bowl full of yellow apples adds
cowardice, evidenced in phrases such as "yellow
Physically speaking, yellow good for our bodies. Fruits and vegetables in this shade provide betacarotene,
otherwise
known
as
antioxidants.
Antioxidants can help lower asthma symptoms,
prevent chronic disease such as cancer and heart disease. Conditions like depression, headaches,
trick or a handful of wildflowers on the dining simple color to a kitchen counter. Any way you look at it, yellow is a wonderful color that can provide a little ray of sunshine to our lives.
RESOURCES to inspire
CREATIVE PLAY by Rae Schrock
The
internet is a fantastic resource for creative ways to
inspire children to play. However, to save you the overwhelming task of sifting through dozens of helpful websites, I recommend two of my favorites to get you started. both contain creative, free resources. Remember that Whether or not you are a mother, you are impacting the children in your world. Seize this tremendous opportunity and make a difference in the life of a child today!
1
Little girls
have been playing with paper dolls for decades. I was no exception—back in the day, my young friends and I spent hours clipping photographs of people out of magazines and creating elaborate families and stories. Today, though somewhat overlooked in favor of talking, flashing, singing, and buzzing toys, paper dolls can still inspire hours of fun for little girls. My latest discovery and new favorite resource is the vintage “Betsy McCall” paper dolls, available online. What fun! They can be found all over the web, but the site I prefer is The Bleu Door, which contains high-definition PDF downloads for the entire line of Betsy dolls which first appeared in the McCall’s
magazine in 1951. Each month the magazine issued a new page with Betsy with her outfits, accessories, and family members, plus a story to go along. I love the vintage appeal of these old paper dolls and the ongoing story about Betsy which makes them especially fun for your little ones. Let them choose a few pages [there are dozens of options!], print them out, and cut out each character. Enjoy the fun!
2
Combine learning
Click the link above, or check it out at: http://www.thebleudo or.com/betsymccallho me.htm
with play by using simple experiments to teach your children science and math skills. Boys especially love to experiment, start things on fire, and blow things up. Put their creativity to use by showing them how to use household objects to make awesome and wacky inventions! This online resource features one hundred great experiments designed to help kids learn the basics of physics and engineering through fun and creative play. Build a pendulum to learn about motion; make a lemon battery to learn about energy; create a kaleidoscope to study light; or use static electricity to lift gelatin! Experiments are separated into categories such as light; structures; travel & movement; and harnessing nature. Children love when learning is fun, so check out the site and see what you and your child can discover together!
Click the link above, or check it out at:
http://constructionmanag ementdegree.org/blog/2 010/100-awesomeengineering-projects-forkids/
{to accept willingly}
{the quality of being thankful}
embracingratitude
“To be always in a thankful state of heart before God is not to be considered a high plane of spirituality but rather the normal attitude of one who believes that "all things work together for good to them that love God, who are called according to his purpose."― William Law
“How my eyes see, perspective, is my key to enter into His gates. I can only do so with thanksgiving. If my inner eye has God seeping up through all things, then can't I give thanks for anything? And if I can give thanks for the good things, the hard things, the absolute everything, I can enter the gates to glory. Living in His presence is fullness of joy- and seeing shows the way in." ― Ann Voskamp
“Our God is not made of stone. His heart is the most sensitive and tender of all. No act goes unnoticed, no matter how insignificant or small. A cup of cold water is enough to put tears in the eyes of God. God celebrates our feeble expressions of gratitude."― Richard Foster
“From David learn to give thanks for everything. Every furrow in the Book of Psalms is sown with the seeds of thanksgiving." ― Jeremy Taylor
“We never approach God without cause for gratitude. Thankfulness, a duty and delight greatly prominent in the Bible, is the declarative mood of gratitude - a bright fire in the world's frigid zone, the memory and homage of the heart, a master force in soul-building, the greatest tonic faith has. Be ye thankful."― Robert Lee
“Gratitude changes the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy.” ― Deitrich Bonhoeffer
The Team Recommends…
favorite worship music
MATTHEW WEST is an artist who sings about everyday issues that we all struggle with. His music is relatable and encouraging. "Strong Enough" talks about how we can never be strong enough on our own, but through the strength of Christ we can do all things. "My Name Is" touches on the lies that we believe about ourselves, but then the song reminds us that we are the children of the one true King and that we have been changed.
~Brittany
PHILIPS, CRAIG, & DEAN’s, Revelation Song, When the Stars Burn Down, and The Great I Am. I couldn't narrow down these songs to one favorite...all three of them uplift me and send my thoughts heaven-ward to that place where we will forever sing of God's glory. The artists sing of the power of God, His majesty, and His holiness and the music brings you to worship of our great King who reigns for eternity.
~Carmie
CHANTICLEER is a male vocal ensemble with worldwide acclaim. Its twelve members perform a w wide range of music, including Gregorian chant, spirituals, folk music, jazz, and recently written music. While Chanticleer is not a religious group, it offers an excellent selection of sacred music. A few favorite songs include Steal Away (from Where the Sun Will Never Go Down) and L’amour de Moy (from Wondrous Love).
~Marlene
SHANE & SHANE are two men who love to worship God in song. Their music has become meaningful to me lately for its worshipful call to surrender and adoration of our great God. The song, Acres of Hope, is one of my favorites, taken from Hosea and God’s promise to turn the valley of despair into a doorway of hope. Another favorite is Be Near, a cry for God to stay near His children, since “Your nearness is to us our good”. ~Rae
LEGACY&IMPACT
a
Voice
for the Advocating life
Unborn By Stephanie Staats
S
ince abortion was legalized 40 years ago, nearly 50 million abortions have occurred according to a 2008 report published by Guttmacher Institute. In August 2011, Guttmacher reported that “nearly half of pregnancies among American women are unintended, and about 4 in 10 of these are terminated by abortion.” These individuals that faced an unplanned pregnancy had a decision to make, and they chose what our society labels as “a choice.” The choice for life or death of an unborn baby is a decision that half of American women will face by the age of 45, with an alarming 1 in 10 that chooses abortion by the age of 20. The Elliot Institute, a non-profit prolife organization, has researched the effects of post abortion and has found that 64% of women who had abortions felt pressured into that decision. It is common for those who have chosen abortion to experience trauma symptoms. This one decision changes so many lives, while also cutting another life short. The
consequences of such a decision are devastating and destructive for all involved. There are countless organizations and ministries that are involved in pro-life efforts. Pregnancy resource centers strive to show God’s unconditional love to all facing an unintended pregnancy. The love of Christ motivates the staff and volunteers to compassionately serve the broken, hurt, and scared individuals considering an abortion. Some of these clients may have been told that abortion is their only choice. These centers offer free pregnancy tests, options counseling, and parenting classes; with some offering limited ultrasound or other medical services. The workers do not make the decisions for the clients, but are there to listen and care not only for the precious growing life, but for the precious lives of those hurting. Local pregnancy centers can be found by visiting www.optionline.org. Each client situation is different and the cases vary depending on
Open your destitute.
mouth for the mute, for all who are
Open your mouth, judge righteously,
defend the
rights of the poor and needy. [Prov. 31:8-9]
the circumstances behind the pregnancy, as well her/his support system. While images of clients remain in my mind, there is one client in particular that I am reminded of often. This young mother of two in her 20s called the center asking for an abortion. She agreed to meet for a free ultrasound to determine the gestational age. Her relationship with her boyfriend, the father of her second child, was shaky. After a fight, she went out to a club and after a one night stand was pregnant. He threatened to leave her and refused to raise the child as his own. She thought terminating the child was the only way she could keep her relationship intact. As we discussed her options, she was receptive to the information and was open to listening to her other two options. She listened intently and accepted a few
brochures that I encouraged her to read before making her decision. One of the brochures was on fetal development, which she gladly accepted. While the doctor was performing the ultrasound she studied the screen. She asked to hear the heart beat and couldn’t take her eyes off of the screen. This baby on the screen was not just any baby, but was her own child. I will never forget the experience of seeing her tear up and ask for a picture of her 7 ½ week baby. As she held the picture in her hands, she replied, “This is my baby.” After an hour, she left still undecided. I was given permission to follow up with her and called back within the week. At first she was blinded by her difficult situation and couldn’t imagine carrying the baby to term out of fear that her boyfriend would leave. Even though her situation had not changed, she could not go through with the abortion. This brave young girl decided to carry her child to term and refused to consider her situation hopeless. I haven’t been able to make contact since she announced on the phone of her decision, but have never stopped thinking of her. Although there is still so much more of this story that I may never know, I
know that her life and the life of her unborn child were spared from the devastation and pain of abortion. There are hundreds if not thousands of stories like hers. Anyone facing an unplanned pregnancy deserves to have someone stand by them as an advocate for life. This advocate doesn’t have to be a professional or hold a master’s degree. This advocate needs to only be someone who desires to honor the Lord and stand up for those who do
Anyone facing an unplanned pregnancy deserves to have someone stand by them as an advocate for life. This advocate doesn’t have to be a professional or hold a master’s degree, but needs to only be someone who desires to honor the Lord and stand up for those who do not have a voice of their own.
not have a voice of their own or are afraid to choose life. As the advocate compassionately serves and expresses empathy to the client in need; the Lord is continually faithful to guide and direct the advocate and the client. An advocate for life doesn’t just stand up for the life of the unborn, but stands up for the life that this mother and father deserve to have in Christ. An advocate for life also shows that no matter what choices someone has made, there is restoration and reconciliation found in Christ. There is hope and forgiveness for the broken, the hurt, and the scared. There is especially hope and forgiveness for those who have been touched by abortion. Out of those nearly 50 million abortions, are billions of people who have been touched somehow by the effects of abortion, and need to accept God’s peace. This issue of legal abortions has brought unspeakable pain, yet only in Christ is there unspeakable joy and freedom. The Lord is calling all believers to take some part in this battle for life and restoration. He is calling all to be advocates for life. Seek the Lord and pray for the specific calling He may have for your life in this mission. He may be calling you to simply pray for
the individuals who have faced or are facing unintended pregnancies. He may be leading you to be involved in the fight to end legal abortions. He may be leading you to support the mission efforts of pregnancy resource centers or other like pro-life organizations. There are countless ways to get involved in this battle for life. You must first make a
Be
an
decision to not just believe in the sanctity of life but to stand up for life. May the Lord bless you and keep you in His future plans for you as an advocate for life. |
advocate
for
life!
Bethesda Selinsgrove, PA
Springs Farm
ministry
focus
By Marlena Stoltzfus
We sit in the car, driving back to the farm after an emergency trip to the MedExpress. We’re talking about something she just found out from home. She’s reacting and inside I’m thinking “we’ve been down this path before, how many times do I need to say the same thing, is she even hearing me?!” And then she turns and looks at me and says “Marlena, this is why I need to be at the farm. I need to be here so you can keep telling me the truth when I forget”. And suddenly the hours of problem solving, the days where it feels like all we do is deal with one attitude after another, the countless conversations where I say the same thing to what feels like closed ears, and the 24/5 giving, giving, giving are all put in perspective again. It’s about speaking Truth, again and again and again. It’s about living so connected with the Person of Truth
{Jesus} so that these girls can experience Jesus and Life in a way they never have before. Yes, that’s why I’m here. That’s why I’m a mentor at Bethesda Springs Farm! So what IS Bethesda Springs Farm {BSF}? A few years ago, the very generous owner of the farm donated the use of this place to the HBYC Ministries {affiliated with Steeple to People Ministries – a nonprofit organization based in Honey Brook, PA}. Since then, a 5 member board has been formed and gives direction to the farm activities/ministries. In January of 2012, Nelson and Jess Beachy and family moved to the farm as Directors.
Girls who come are welcomed into the Farm Family, with mentors walking along side of them daily. It is our prayer and desire that they find healing, hope, and wholeness through a relationship with Jesus Christ.
BSF is a beautiful old farm, dating back to the late 1700’s and located just outside of the town of Selinsgrove in central Pennsylvania. The farm has two houses, the Big House where the girls and mentors live and the Little House, where the Director and family live. There is also a spacious barn set up for horses, a few smaller outbuildings, a large horse pasture, and hours’ worth of riding trails on the ridges behind the farm. Two other aspects of BSF besides the Big House are the Nursery and the Cottage. Just big enough for two, the cottage is designed for an individual or married couple seeking a quiet space for reflection and spiritual renewal. The Cottage is a
I’ve been involved in mentoring teen girls in the past…and have had a long time dream of going to a place that offered the opportunity to LIVE with the girls you’re working with. In the last year or so I started praying about and pursing some opportunities even more seriously, but nothing seem to quite be working out. Until BSF contacted me that is… It didn’t take me long to get really excited about this new possibility and after talking to Nelsons, visiting BSF, and spending time praying I said “I’ll come!” God’s leading was so clear and I felt very clear peace about moving ahead. And you know it’s been a decision I haven’t regretted once! Yes, the past 7 months since I first said I’d come have been some of the hardest, unknown and stretching months of my life. But God has been using every situation and every circumstance and every new person I’ve met to work in and change my own heart…And that I wouldn’t trade for anything! Currently the vision for BSF is this: By inviting children and teens into a Christ-centered family on a farm setting, and engaging them in the daily work and play of farm life, we anticipate healing, hope and wholeness in their lives. Following the example of Jesus as found in John 5, we recognize the value of each life and desire that each be healed and empowered to live through a personal relationship with Christ Jesus.
renovated summer kitchen, located next to the Big House. The Nursery is a haven for a Mommy needing a safe place to nurture and care for her Baby. While living in the Nursery the mother and child will live in the company and care of a loving family. She has the opportunity to learn essential life skills and independent living. The Nursery is a private room attached to the Little House. I first heard about this place this past August {2012}, when I was contacted about coming to the farm as a mentor to teen girls. At that point, there were no girls at the farm and the vision was to start a residential school type program for the 2012/2013 school year.
Girls who come to the farm, be it for a few weeks or several months, are welcomed into the Farm Family, with mentors walking along side of them daily. They will have opportunity to learn life skills and to continue their education. It is our prayer and desire that they find healing, hope, and wholeness through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Right now, we have two girls living at the farm, as well as 2 other staff besides me and Nelson & Jess. Laura is the other mentor who lives here. She has a fulltime job, but spends evenings and nights here at the farm. Heidi is our schoolteacher and spends mornings and most afternoons here. The girls live at the farm Monday through Friday, and go home on the weekends. And my role? Well, sometimes I think “mom” might be a better title then mentor. I am in charge of the daily
schedule for the girls living in the Big House, as well as cooking, cleaning, chores, and taking care of our horses and other animals. Yes, animals and horse care are a big part of our daily lives. Right now, we have chickens, a goat, 3 horses, a pony, and a sheep. So taking care of these animals is a part of our daily schedule as well. This is something I enjoy – and the girls?! Well, some days they love it, and other days it gives great opportunity for problem solving and learning how to have a good attitude. One thing that is high priority here at BSF is taking the time to work through problems right away. And whether this means pushing aside mealtimes, chores, or even bedtime, we work hard at learning to talk through our feelings and responses. As well as learning how to have healthy relationships with the people we live with. Horses and equine therapy are a big part of the vision of BSF. I
responses. Right now we are working our way through a DVD book study called “sermon on the Mount”. It is a DVD series by Dr. Lew Sterett using horses and their relationship with their trainer to teach us life principles. He does most of his teaching on horseback and while training his own horses. So it’s fun not only learning about Spiritual Principles but getting horse tips as well! You can be involved in the ministry of BSF:
Pray:
Pray for wisdom and for the Power of
the Holy Spirit to reign and rule in the lives of the girls here. Pray that God would bring the right staff in his timing….and pray more than anything for FREEDOM for the girls who come and go from this place.
Staff Opportunities: Are you interested in working with teen girls? Or maybe you love horses and would love to get a chance to live on a farm and work with horses and teen girls at the same time? Well, then this is the place for you. Right now we are looking for mentors for our summer program as well as our 13/14 school year. Pray about it and check us out on the web at www.bethesdaspringsfarm.wordpress.
am learning so much since I moved here about how therapeutic animals can be, as well as how many opportunities working with horses gives to make analogies to our own lives and evaluate our own
com or email for more bethesdaspringsfarm@gmail.com .
Financially:
info:
This ministry is not at all
government supported and is run primarily off of donated funds and supplies so there is a never ending need there as well. Come visit some time as well, we love visitors! |
A
estranged him from family and friends, and began to consider the cloister. As part of his firm resolve to be religious, he burned his poems in 1868 and gave up writing poetry.
s the earth is blanketed in tender, clinging green, I am drawn toward books of poetry. The nuance of this season, before deep summer’s bold strokes, lends Hopkins took the austere vows of a itself to such reading. Many people Jesuit priest at the age of 26. He feel that poetry is too difficult to By Marlene Stoltzfus continued to struggle with whether understand. It is criticized as his artistic gifts fit with full religious inaccessible, affected, and devotion. Through his reading, he began to see that the sentimental; sometimes rightly so. Yet this form of two did not necessarily conflict; several years later, writing gives voice to those things which are difficult to when asked to write a poem by his religious superior, adequately describe. It is penetratingly expressive to his seven year abstinence from poetry ended. the things which lie close to our hearts and affect us However, he remained afraid that writing could violate deeply. the Jesuit value for humility and therefore decided to I have found poetry to be worth the effort to read and never publish his poems. Most of what we now have understand. I hope you enjoy the writings of one of my was published posthumously. favorite poets, Gerard Manley Hopkins. Hopkins’s poetry broke the conventional forms used at Gerard Manley Hopkins lived from 1844-1889. He was the time. Even today, a time of greater born into an artistic Anglican family and, like his siblings, experimentation, Hopkins’s uses of rhythm and had artistic interest; first in painting and then as a poet. language seem daring and innovative. His poems are While studying at Oxford, he became more studious and often best understood when read aloud because of prone to intense inner scrutiny and awareness of sin. their complexity. Three of Hopkins’ poems are included He converted to Catholicism in 1866, a decision which on the pages following.
God’s Grandeur The world is charged with the grandeur of God. It will flame out, like shining from shook foil; It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod? Generations have trod, have trod, have trod; And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil; And wears man's smudge and shares man's smell: the soil Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod. And for all this, nature is never spent; There lives the dearest freshness deep down things; And though the last lights off the black West went Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs — Because the Holy Ghost over the bent World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.
Pied Beauty Glory be to God for dappled things – For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow; For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim; Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches’ wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced – fold, fallow, and plough; And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim. All things counter, original, spare, strange; Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?) With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim; He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
Praise him.
As Kingfishers Catch Fire As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies draw flame; As tumbled over rim in roundy wells Stones ring; like each tucked string tells, each hung bell's Bow swung finds tongue to fling out broad its name;
Each mortal thing does one thing and the same: Deals out that being indoors each one dwells; Selves — goes itself; myself it speaks and spells, Crying What I do is me: for that I came. I say móre: the just man justices; Keeps grace: thát keeps all his goings graces;
Acts in God's eye what in God's eye he is — Chríst — for Christ plays in ten thousand places, Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his To the Father through the features of men’s faces.
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close w x [klohz]
vb. - to bring the parts or edges together.
July/August, 2013
coming next issue Surviving or Thriving? {finding purpose in singlehood}
Delicious summer fare! 10 Ways to Celebrate a Friend Following Christ’s Example of Ministry