2019 MF AUGUST

Simply the best

Military spouses are impressive people.

In this issue, we pay tribute to “the other half” of service members in many ways. In one article, we highlight the male minority and how they cope with being in a female-dominated niche. We also take a look at foreign military spouses, and celebrate the lengths major legislation has recently come for career-minded spouses.

I also want to take a moment to celebrate the author names you will find within these pages. Not only is this issue a tribute to spouses, this issue is written 100% by them. While this is not always the case, we made sure it was with this one because we wanted to show you military spouse greatness first-hand. Their ideas, talents and enthusiasm are what makes us extra proud to share every issue of Military Families Magazine with you.

Jennifer Barnhill is a mother of three, works a full-time job and does investigative journalism for us. Plus, she recently began working on a long-desired master’s degree with

a specific focus on military spouse advocacy. Lizann Lightfoot is a published author, a major influencer in the community, a mom of soon-tobe five kids (one child she had during a hurricane while her husband was deployed) and also has a master’s. While raising twins, Tiffany Lawrence achieved her dreams of becoming an accomplished freelance writer and is also a Certified Parenting Strategist. Stationed over in Europe is Jessica Evans who feverishly writes day in and day out to polish a novel (she’s a former Pushcart nominee), in between writing for us, and being an avid runner and weight lifter. And Jenn Bedard , a new Coast Guard spouse who had to give up the perfect university teaching job in order to live with her husband — a story not unheard of — is yet another person who has risen above challenges and became one of our trusted Washington correspondents.

Remember, all of them are married to a service member that is often gone for months on end, and have moved across oceans and nations multiple times.

They face hardship after hardship. Still, nothing will keep a military spouse down, and this small handful of women are but a small sampling of proof.

Let me say it again. Military spouses are impressive people. If you are one, believe in yourself.

Sincerely,

Maddie Dolan Associate Editor

The Operation Deploy Your Dress team onsite at a popup event held inside the headquarters of AUSA in Arlington, Va. The founders and volunteers matched DC-area attendees with free ball gowns.

Photo by Emma McAlary.

By Tiffany Eve Lawrence

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Military moves take a toll on teens’ mental health

Co-ops offer support for parents who homeschool

By Meredith Flory

In a 2016 study, the National Center for Education Statistics reported three major reasons families of 1.7 million students in the U.S. had chosen to homeschool:

1. Concern for the school environment,

2. Dissatisfaction with academic instruction, and

3. Desire for religious instruction. However, for many military families, there may be additional benefits, such as easing the education transition of military moves and flexibility for travel.

Caroline Mabrey, a military spouse, made the decision to homeschool her three children. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Elementary Education, serves as the vice president and co-op coordinator of the Fort Bliss Homeschool Association, is a co-leader for Girl Scouts and volunteers in the children’s ministry at her church.

“In the beginning, the decision to homeschool was based on the fact that we were a military family that would be moving every three years or so. I wanted to minimize the amount of transitions my children would have in living this nomadic lifestyle, as well as give them some continuity within their education,” she said.

Methods of homeschooling and curriculum choices

When preparing for the school year, homeschool parents have to decide on a method—referring to the

structure and style of lessons—and a curriculum, which is the textbook and supplementary materials used. Mabrey recognizes how overwhelming homeschooling can be initially, but encourages parents to focus on foundational subjects first -- Language Arts and Math -- adding in subjects as you find a style of schooling that engages your child. Homeschoolers of multiple children may find that a different curriculum works for each child.

“I kept trying to find one curriculum that would work for all three of my children. Eventually I began to understand that this was not possible,” Mabrey said.

There are many reviews and curated lists of curriculums online and methods range from more traditional school at-home programs to learning centered on experiences. Basic questions to start with are: will you use religious or secular textbooks; do you want a program that covers every subject or to use a variety of sources; and do you want a book or online-based program?

Finding a support network

Mabrey states unequivocally that, “one of the biggest pieces of advice I can give is to find someone within your community or a group on social media and ask all the questions. I’ve had many friends ask my advice on curriculum, co-ops, field trips and schedules, and I am always more than happy to help.”

Due to the number of military families that are choosing

homeschooling, many military installations offer a support group. The Fort Bliss Homeschool Association , as an example, offers a Homeschool 101 event, plus a variety of events that support the whole family, including a 10-week per semester co-op where children can take a variety of classes offered by parent volunteers, monthly field trips, mom’s night out and activities like field day.

“This group has been like an anchor for me during these formative years of my homeschooling journey,” Mabrey said.

Parents can find a variety of homeschool support groups, ranging from free online communities, to those with an annual cost that include classes. To research options, check out social media, MWR, the school liaison officer and the local library. Pay attention to the cost, volunteer expectations, and attend an information meeting if offered. If there is not a local support group, consider starting one. Mabrey explains that you can start by planning something easy, like a weekly park date, and then expand.

The decisions affecting the education of your military child will be some of the most important you make. As the number of families choosing to homeschool continues to grow, so do the resources and programs that support this option. By researching modern-day methods and leaning on fellow military families’ advice, you can make an informed choice based on your student’s needs.

Contributors

The most positive aspect about being a military spouse is the ability to adapt to all the life changes that are constantly thrown at us. There are so many military spouses out there that are doing the most amazing job at handling what needs to be done, and most of the time, with short notice! The most incredible thing about a military spouse’s ability to adapt is that, even if we never had that adaptability characteristic, we all have grown to learn it and own it!

We asked this issue’s authors: What is the most positive aspect of being a military spouse?

I’ve had the opportunity to build some amazing relationships and learn from people that come from a variety of backgrounds. I wouldn’t have had this exposure without the military. I now have friendships that spread all over the world.

The complexity. It feels anti-feminist to be led by my husband’s chosen career. However, I have come to realize what I really am capable of through this lifestyle. I have had to be creative with my career, friendships and family life. It has made me stronger in a way I didn’t know I needed and for that I am truly thankful.

The best part of being a military spouse is having access to so many great opportunities and such a wonderful community. Being a military spouse has forced me to leave my comfort zone, venture into new territory and try new things. This has deeply enriched my life in ways that I would not have expected and has vastly broadened the boundaries of my world. I have met so many incredible milspouses and love being part of such a vibrant, interesting and complex group.

About three weeks before my husband received orders that took us to La Maddalena, Italy, I cracked open a fortune cookie. My fortune read: “Your feet will touch the soil of many foreign lands.” I took that fortune literally and I have touched the soil of many — places I only imagined I’d ever see on the glossy pages of a textbook. And I have been blessed to be on this adventure and explore these places with my sailor. To this day, I keep that fortune tucked in my wallet. I can’t wait to see where we will go next!

For me, the best part of being a military spouse is being married to my husband! We dated for the first six years he was in the military, and spouse-hood is definitely better. I also love the military community, the friends I have made, and the cool places we have lived.

Being a milspouse has taught me the importance of creating and establishing new traditions at every duty station. It’s not enough to rely on the traditions that carry us; we have to consistently evolve and grow with each new installation.

Being a part of something greater than myself is the most positive aspect of my military spouse experience. While spouses and family members don’t “serve,” we benefit from the camaraderie and connectedness military service creates. I value the opportunity to participate in military community organizations and activities that deepen those ties.

Andrea Downing Peck

Jessica Evans

Catherine Edoria-Dela Cruz

Emily Marcason-Tolmie

Lizann Lightfoot

Tiffany Lawrence

Jennifer Barnhill

Jenn Bedard

By Angela Caban, MHRM, Military Saves Program Director

For most of my professional working life, I have attended anywhere from three to five conferences per year. Events are typically split between professional and personal development, with either being beneficial for my career and social network. These opportunities also provide phenomenal educational and networking experiences; however, I have learned throughout the years that conferences and travel can be tough on the budget, too.

There are many costs to factor in before deciding if an event is worth it in the long run for you. Expenses will vary from conference registration fees to arranging and paying for lodging, and transportation and food. When you total this up, it can end up being a  giant drain on your finances.

Whether you’re traveling for work, or your own professional development, here are six conference travel hacks that will not only help your stress level, but also keep costs low.

Start saving early. Consider making a line item in your monthly budget for these additional costs and put that money aside in a savings account. I find it helpful to have a separate savings account just for my travel, that way I don’t combine my travel money with my other savings. Then rename this account (i.e. “Conference Travel”) so that you know any money in this account is strictly for travel use.

Know what work will cover. Will you be reimbursed by your job? Can you write off these expenses during tax time? Two very important questions to ask before making any travel arrangements. If you are interested in attending a conference,

check with your employer first to see if they cover any expenses. However, if the travel is not covered by your employer, you will want to check on the IRS website for what you can expense and write off.

Take advantage of “early bird” rates. I know for many starting to plan one year in advance is a bit much, but do you have any idea how much you could save off your registration if you purchase early bird tickets? One year I saved over $500 off three events. If your company is purchasing your ticket, make sure you notify them to help save them money too! Almost all events offer this option, but it is for a limited time only, so jump on it.

Book your transportation and lodging via a private browser. I recently learned this travel hack from our very own Military Saves Program Manager Lila Quintiliani. Depending on where you are

looking and how many times you have been searching for lower prices, you will almost always find a lower deal via an incognito browser. Why? Because online booking sites use cookies to track your browsing habits. If they see you are searching and going back and forth, they may increase the price knowing you will be back to book it.

Don’t mix personal with business. Keep your expenses separate when it comes to travel. If you are looking for some down time during your conference, like heading to a spa in the hotel, make sure personal expenses are not on the same credit card you checked in with. You can easily ask to swap cards at the front desk to ensure everything stays separate. You will need to provide this list of expenses to your employer, and it makes it easier to only have business related items on the receipt. If you are selfemployed, hold on to the itemized receipt to write off during tax time. Don’t risk not getting reimbursed.

Pack some snacks. Hotels do offer snacks, but you typically need to take out a personal loan to afford them. Why spend the additional money if you don’t have to? If you can fit it in your suitcase or carryon bag, pack some small snacks for your trip. For example, I stash away protein bars and small bags of almonds or peanuts to keep me full longer. These are also great to bring during those long conference sessions, you know, when you’re counting down the hours to lunch?

Don’t have the space to pack snacks, or maybe you forgot? Many local supermarkets deliver directly to your hotel room for a small fee, which is still cheaper than taking an Uber to and from the store. Be sure to look for promo codes online – sometimes the first order is free!

What started as a small idea among friends has now touched the lives of thousands from the military community.

Operation Deploy Your Dress is set to open its newest location this month at Fort Carson, Colo., in partnership with the Mountain Post Spouses Club . It marks the seventh shop for the organization since its founding in 2015. Yvonne Coombes, co-founder, says the group has now distributed almost 10,000 dresses around the U.S.

An idea comes to life

Originally designed to be a solo event, ODYD started as “a happy accident” at Fort Bliss, Texas, four years ago, Coombes explains. A

By Bianca M. Strzalkowski

small group of military spouses came up with the idea to host a dress swap for local units. After sharing the concept during a Fox News appearance, the women received over 3,000 dress donations from around the country. It quickly became apparent that this had the potential to be much more than a one- or two-day event isolated to their duty station.

“When I was moving, we thought let’s see if this can branch out someplace else,” Coombes, an Army wife of nearly 19 years, said. “We didn’t know if it was just lightning in a bottle at Fort Bliss or if it was really something that was going to work elsewhere. We knew that the need was not unique to Fort Bliss and that the desire for the American

population to have a tangible way to support the troops was not unique to just them sending them [dresses] to Fort Bliss, but we just didn’t know if it would work at another installation.”

It did work. The Coombes family received PCS orders to Fort Eustis, Va., and the location offered a new opportunity — expansion to include other service branches.

“Fort Eustis was a sweet little post. … it was the perfect fit for our first branch out because it was a little bit slower paced so we could feel it out, the spouses’ club was so warm and welcoming and easy to work with … and the beauty of that location was that there was an Air Force base and a Naval installation within striking distance,” she explained.

She added that the second location allowed the group to become more of a purple organization, which continues to be a main focus of ODYD as it expands.

Every dress tells a story

Throughout the years, the stories emerging from the donated gowns — and fitting themselves — have taken on a new meaning, too. In fact, some of the shops display letters sharing the story of the dress or messages of gratitude to its new owner.

“Those letters have been coming from the very beginning. We are always touched when someone takes the time to share the history of the dress or how they heard about our organization,” Coombes said.

Co-founder Liz Mckenrick, of Fort Knox, Ky., displayed a vintage pink gown that the organizers received for a popup event at the Association of United States Army headquarters earlier this year. It included a letter stating the dress was worn in the 1960s.

Event attendees proudly display their chosen gowns. Photo by Emma McAlary.

Mckenrick also shared poignant moments from the event involving two attendees.

“This room today has had two individuals in tears because they couldn’t find a dress, so we started bringing in hundreds of dresses to do an individual fitting for them. One of them was a female soldier who had a TBI and she had a panic attack when she walked in, and we saw that … and we just brought in about 50 dresses for her to choose from and she found something gorgeous. And we had a brand-new mom that was feeling bad about herself and she kind of broke down in tears,” she said. “The unexpected — that’s what it’s all about, is those moments. That’s the payback.”

Joining forces for military spouses

The organization’s relationship with AUSA has eased some of the financial burdens the founders faced in self-funding the entire operation. Patty Barron, director of the family readiness directorate at AUSA, says they will be supporting additional events in the future but the real value is in the connections being made.

“We connect the local chapter to the local shop so now, when we leave, there’s a relationship built there and they can brainstorm new ideas for military spouses. It’s all about providing opportunities for our military families, our Army families to connect and be informed,” Barron said.

Barron, a longtime Army wife herself, says events like this are key for building those vital human interactions between spouses.

“I lived the life and my daughter now is a military spouse and knowing and understanding that you

have to have physical connections with people — it’s not just about social media, it’s not just about a flyer on the wall. This provides us an opportunity to have those in person connections,” she said.

Pomp and circumstance

As natural as building bonds are to the military life experience, so is partaking in tradition. Whether it’s the annual celebration of the service branches or unit-specific events, like a dining in, being part of the longheld traditions are a vital component of cohesion and camaraderie for the community. The cost of ‘doing it right’ can be hefty, though, when factoring in cost of attire, childcare, transportation, lodging and more.

That’s one of the key pillars of ODYD’s work. The donated items, which have expanded to include men’s clothing and accessories, alleviates some of the financial burden.

“For me personally, we started this to help the junior soldiers and their family members get to the ball and what we’ve learned is it’s across all ranks — financial issues,” Coombes said. “We want to make sure there’s no stigma to getting a dress from us.

It’s really become a community, not just ‘I got a free dress.’”

She has watched as friendships develop between team members, shop volunteers and patrons.

“We almost helped 10,000 families; we never even thought we would help 200 families. We love that it’s not just gotten people out to the balls, but it’s also gotten spouses out of their house to volunteer, making connections with the shoppers,” she shared.

Operation Deploy Your Dress has ongoing needs for gown donations, volunteers and spreading the word. Visit http://operationdeployyourdress. org to learn more about events and opportunities.

ODYD team members, volunteers and event attendees pose for a group photo during a dress swap event. Photo by Emma McAlary.

Earlier this year, ODYD team members partnered with the AUSA family readiness team to host a popup event in the DC area. Photo by Emma McAlary.

YOUR NEED TO KNOW SPACE FORCE OF THE

By Andrea Downing Peck

“Space: The final frontier” soon may have new meaning in military circles. The Space Force — or an independent Space Corps — may be on a trajectory to become the sixth military service.

President Donald Trump first floated the idea of a Space Force in March 2018 when addressing service members at Marine Corps Air Station Miramar in San Diego. A few months later, he directed the Department of Defense and Pentagon to “immediately begin the process to establish the Space Force as the sixth branch of the armed forces.”

“We’re going to have the Air Force and we’re going to have the Space Force,” Trump said. “Separate but equal.”

Despite some resistance on both sides of the aisle, the proposal has gained traction in Congress.

The Senate included funding for a multi-year rollout of a separate military service for space in its FY2020 National Defense Authorization Act, while the House version of the NDAA was amended to create a Space Corps led by a fourstar commandant who would be a member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. But the final name, form and funding for a military branch for space won’t be known until a conference committee finalizes the defense bill this summer.

Rep. Mike Rogers, R-Ala., who helped push through the Space Corps amendment, remains convinced the United States must rethink how the military manages and grows its spacebased capabilities.

“With the very real and serious threats posed by countries like China and Russia in space, the United States has to step up to keep from being completely outpaced,” Rogers said in an emailed statement.

President Trump speaks to service members and their families at Marine Corps Air Station Miramar, Calif., on March 13, 2018. Photo by Sgt. Tia Dufour.

“The future of warfare will be fought in space with new technology and military satellites. I believe creating a separate Space Force is the only way to fully complete this mission.”

Retired Air Force Maj. Gen. Thomas Taverney, past vice commander, Air Force Space Command, suggests history provides lessons why a space-based service is needed.

transfer into the new service branch. Military and civilian personnel levels would not be increased.

The head of the Air Force Space Command, currently Gen. John Raymond, would be re-designated as Space Force commander. In the first year, Raymond would report to the Air Force chief of staff but would not routinely attend Joint Chiefs of

he maintains would be beneficial to currently serving military personnel.

“This would be a net positive for people who already work in space-related jobs because now they’re going to have much more opportunity for advancement within their field,” he said. “There will be more opportunities at promotion boards. They will be competing against other Space Force officers [and enlisted personnel].”

However, Harrison cautions nonspace personnel assigned to spacerelated billets to keep careful tabs on what happens next.

“It is good to have someone with the budget authority that goes to sleep at night and wakes up in the morning and thinks only about the space mission,” Taverney said. “This happened back when the Air Force separated from the Army. People who were experts in the air mission wanted to have control of their own medium. It ended up pretty well.”

Taverney maintains Air Force leaders are fully qualified to support the space mission, but are hamstrung by competing priorities.

“When you have a huge amount on your plate, you tend to have to react to the day’s problems rather than sitting down and thinking about tomorrow’s problems,” he states. “While they have the capability to be good, quality space logisticians, and they are, they don’t have the time to focus on only space.”

Under the Senate plan, the DOD would receive $72.4 million to stand up a Space Force within the Air Force, creating a relationship similar to the Marine Corps’ placement inside the Department of the Navy. Initially, only Air Force personnel currently serving in space-related billets would

Staff sessions. In subsequent years, the Space Force commander would report directly to the Secretary of the Air Force and would be elevated to a permanent place on the Joint Chiefs of Staff. The commander of U.S. Space Command would become a separate four-star billet.

“Our adversaries have Space Forces–we are behind,” the executive summary of the Senate bill states. “This new force will focus on cultivating a space warfighting ethos, unify command of space operations and activities, and improve acquisition policies for space programs and systems.”

Since Raymond has been nominated to become the commander of the newly re-established U.S. Space Command, he would be dual-hatted in the Space Force’s inaugural year. Trump last year authorized the DOD to re-establish USSPACECOM as a combatant command in order to better organize and advance the military’s operations in space.

Defense analyst Todd Harrison, director, Center for Strategic and International Studies, supports creating an independent Space Force, which

“If you happen to be one of those history majors or fighter pilots temporarily assigned to a space job, you may not want to transfer over to the Space Force because you may want to go back to doing something not space-related,” he said. “It might be a bit risky. They might get swept up in this. [The DOD] has not come out with any indication of how they are going to let people either opt-in or opt-out of transitioning to the new service.”

In May, the Congressional Budget Office estimated creating a new service within the Department of the Air Force would require 4,100 to 6,800 personnel and increase annual costs by $820 million to $1.3 billion, far exceeding the DOD’s $500 million target.

Harrison argues the CBO overinflated the Space Force’s cost.

“The cost depends on how many people you put in headquarters and management activities,” Harrison said. “You could do it at not much cost – what the DOD has estimated – with a pretty efficient headquarters staff or you could make it big and bloated like all the other service headquarters’ staffs. Ultimately, it will cost whatever you want it to cost.”

“This new force will focus on cultivating a space warfighting ethos, unify command of space operations and activities, and improve acquisition policies for space programs and systems.”

By Jessica Evans

Preparedness and readiness are words that get tossed around a lot in military communities. Service members spend plenty of time away from home with drills, field exercises or deployments. In turn, spouses learn to spend a lot of time alone.

The challenge this poses means that for U.S. military spouses, strong organizational support is a key to success. Family readiness groups, spouse socials, play groups and other events help military spouses work with the resources they have available and often make the best out of trying situations. Military spouses of foreign armies often share in these same challenges, though the resources they have available might be vastly different.

The Albanian Army

Henrietta Sulaj is a gleeful 65-yearold retiree who loves going to her local YMCA. She’s been living in the U.S. for the last 20 years after emigrating from Albania with her husband. Jev, 71, is a retired field artillery officer.

For Sulaj, life as a military spouse came with no more accolades than life for the average Albanian during that time. Nestled between Italy and Greece, this small country was under communist rule from 1946 to 1992.

“Military families did not have any special help or treatment compared to civilian families,” she said.

Her family of four lived in a small apartment for four years that they shared with another military family of four. This meant that everything she and her family needed was carefully orchestrated and planned. When her children were young, this was pretty tough.

“We didn’t know them at all. In fact, we had the living room to

Here’s a look at two very different realities

Henrietta and Jev Sulaj pictured here during his time of active duty service. Submitted photo.

Learning to embrace the festiveness of the holiday season, the Sulajes enjoy spending time with their extended American family. Submitted photo.

ourselves and the other family had the two bedrooms. The bathroom was shared.”

This reality seems almost impossible to comprehend, but it was the norm for Sulaj. In a country so closed that most citizens didn’t know the Berlin Wall no longer existed, Sulaj often struggled to meet the basic needs of life.

“Every day, I was alone with two small children. I would wake early and prepare the kids and myself for the day and leave the house with one small child in my arms, holding the other by the hand. We would walk thirty minutes in the middle of the rain, cold wind or the heat,” she said.

Over the nine installation moves with housing sometimes as far as 75 miles away, Sulaj recalls transportation always being an issue. Because the government prohibited the ownership of vehicles, Sulaj and the rest of the country would get to where they needed to go by hitchhiking.

“Transportation was always difficult. Either we went by foot or we found a ride. It was always very tiring.”

Unlike the military spouses of today, Sulaj didn’t have any appliances on which to lean to make her life a little less arduous.

“I would do all the [household] chores in sequence and with great speed. I would take care of the kids, cook and do the laundry.”

Doing the laundry by hand with a varying availability of water wasn’t just her only challenge. Without tumble dryers, everything had to be line-dried in the sun.

“Everything you needed or wanted, you had to do yourself,” she said.

The Royal Air Force

Clare McNaughton is a writer, mother and British military spouse. Two decades of marriage to a Royal Air Force squadron leader has taught her a thing or two about advance planning. Her husband, Kai, has served for almost 30 years.

McNaughton is something of a celebrity within the British military spouse community. She has published books relating to her experience, runs a blog and is often a keynote speaker at military spouse functions to discuss her experiences. With a mixed perception of the military in the U.K., McNaughton is certain that the general population really doesn’t understand the reality of military life.

“It’s a bit of an enigma. It’s either put on a pedestal or help with contempt,” she said.

Like Sulaj’s experience with the Albanian army, McNaughton says there’s not a ton of family support offered to her. She’s thankful that communication options have improved so much, especially when her husband is in the field or deployed.

“When we were first married, my husband would make me mixed cassette tapes. It was very romantic waiting to receive a handwritten letter from far off lands, but the anxiety was greater as I felt so removed and isolated.”

This statement probably resonates with military spouses from every country, since so much of being a military spouse involves being far from home and learning to lean on the military spouse community. When her husband deployed last year to Afghanistan, McNaughton says her civilian friends didn’t bat an eye.

“We live in the heart of the U.K. British military and people pay a lot of lip service to supporting the military locally. I was surprised when he returned from a long deployment, nobody so much as offered to buy him a beer,” McNaughton said.

She adds that none of her friends offered her support either. Her preparation and resolve made the 10 months easier to manage.

Like Sulaj who learned that lesson of thinking ahead, it seems to be a touchstone of any cohesive military unit, be it a squadron, platoon or family. Both of these spouses highlight the differences in their country’s military while correlating the very real reality that all military spouses face.

Editor’s note: Henrietta Sulaj is the author’s mother-in-law.

Remembrance Sunday is held in the U.K. as a day to commemorate the contribution of British military and civilian efforts during World War I and II, and later conflicts. Submitted photo.

How to stay healthy at any duty station

By Catherine Edoria-Dela Cruz

The Okinawan lifestyle promotes longevity and healthy aging that can be easily adopted by anyone, no matter where you’re stationed.

Some of the oldest Japanese people on the island have lived up to be 99 years old or more, which says a lot about the short life expectancy in other parts of the world. This comes from a study of over 1,000 Okinawan centenarians conducted by the Okinawa Centenarian Study research group.

We’ll never quite know the exact secret of how the Okinawans live to be in the triple digits, but there are some undeniable common traits found around the island that contribute to their healthy, longlived lifestyle.

The good news is that you can implement all of the Okinawans’ habits into your own daily routine, wherever the military decides to send you. You will need to be persistent and intentional about making health-conscious decisions. To help you get on your way to a healthy lifestyle, here are some common Okinawan traits to live by.

Your diet.

Food on the island is always served with a good portion of

vegetables, light salt, few calories and small quantities of pork or fish fat. Fast-food joints are also not common around Okinawa. You will usually find sit-down restaurants in every nook and cranny of the island serving nutritional meals. When you eat, make sure to be intentional. Try finding a balance while eating in moderation, and incorporate whole foods like greens, nuts and soy into your diet.

Watch your stress.

Easier said than done, but one of the secrets to a long life is the ability to stay away from stress. The people in Okinawa are a lot more relaxed when it comes to driving on freeways or expressways. In fact, there is no sense of road rage anywhere in sight when on the island. They also make it a point to sneak in a nap whenever they can, even if it is at a local park or at the mall. Try to be mindful throughout your day by checking in with yourself to make sure that you are not overly stressed or tired, and maybe even try to sneak in a nap like an Okinawan.

Stay active.

On the island, you can find tons of activities that not only get you up and moving, but will also help

improve your overall body health. It is common to see locals engaging in daily activities such as Tai Chi to improve flexibility, Gat ball to help hand eye coordination, dance classes to help with range of motion or even weaving fabrics for creativity. The point of staying active is to help keep your mind alert with motions. Try finding an activity that will get your body moving while keeping your mind alert.

Sense of purpose.

This might just be the most important factor to living a long, healthy life. Everything you do in life needs to have an intention, and help add a purpose to your life. The Okinawans call this ‘Ikigai,’ also known as “a sense of purpose, meaning and a feeling of wellbeing.” At your duty station, try choosing activities that will provide you with the same sense of purpose, so you can carry that on throughout your life.

These secrets are the key factors that, if applied, can promote a healthy lifestyle. If you find yourself living in an environment that does not promote healthy eating or healthy activities, try thinking outside the box and create your own ideal environment, and live the Okinawan way.

are many bike trails and bike-friendly roads all over Okinawa including on Kadena Air Force

There

Base. Photo by Catherine EdoriaDela Cruz.

Did you know military spouses can claim unemployment benefits?

By Emily Marcason-Tolmie

Orders in hand. Boxes packed. Goodbyes said. For many military families, moving from one duty station to another is common practice. Add to this stress a spouse forced to quit a job due to relocation. Securing unemployment benefits is one way of easing the financial burden of a permanent change of station.

“Military spouses are very qualified and most of them have an education. Most of them have to leave their careers behind every time to PCS. That means that they have to start from square one every one, two or three years,” said Verenice Castillo, an Air Force wife and president and founder of Military Spouse Advocacy Network

Shelley Kimball, a Coast Guard wife and senior director of research and program evaluation at Military Family Advisory Network, echoes Castillo’s sentiment.

“We know that moving and unemployment can have challenging effects on family finances. Leaving a job, losing that income and then struggling to find work in a new community can be a financial hardship,” she said.

Kimball thinks planning ahead is key to receiving unemployment

benefits because while almost every state in the country offers unemployment benefits for military spouses, the laws do vary by state.

“Some states may require spouses leave their jobs within a certain window of time before the move, or they require that the military spouse have worked at the job for a minimum amount of time,” she said. “States will also put a limit on how long someone can receive unemployment assistance or have requirements for searching for work while receiving them. All of this will take time to figure out.”

Mary Monrose, a Navy wife, learned from a fellow military spouse that she qualified for unemployment assistance when her family prepared to move from Hawaii to New York.

“I had no idea that we could do it, let alone it be available for us,” she said.

Applying for unemployment benefits took Monrose about a month from start to finish, but she believes time zones played a part in the delay. Otherwise, she says the process was painless.

“Hawaii made it easy by giving the option to fax or email the paperwork to start rather than snail mail,” she said.

Monrose would apply for unemployment benefits again, but she cautions other spouses to remain patient with the process. She says it’s worth the wait.

“Having that secondary income while moving to a new station helped tremendously. Don’t think that because we are military spouses that we are not entitled to these benefits,” she said.

For military spouses looking to utilize unemployment benefits, there are four things everyone should start with:

Know your employment facts including the length of current employment and salary.

File for unemployment benefits in the state where employment was held, not the state you are relocating to.

File for unemployment benefits before resigning from your current job.

Include a copy of the spouse’s PCS orders with the unemployment paperwork.

Additional resources

There is no denying that PCSing every two-to-three years is difficult for spouses trying to maintain a career.

QUICK FACTS

“In addition to a high 25% unemployment rate, over 70% of military spouses are underemployed,” Dana Manciagli, a job search coach and curriculum instructor for the military spouse community, said. “Resources for military spouses are on the rise and we encourage every military spouse to use the resources and learn new skills to reach your goals.”

In addition to securing unemployment benefits, there are other available resources. Castillo recommends spouses use MSAN for employment mentorship, webinars, trainings, resume writing, local networking and partnerships with the Military Spouse Employment Partnership, Military Spouse Professional Network and other nonprofit organizations that focus on helping spouses find employment.

According to Kimball, MFAN is also about connecting modern military families to the resources they need to help them thrive.

“Leaving a job, losing that income and then struggling to find work in a new community can be a financial hardship,” she said.

Kimball cites MilCents , an online, free financial education program meant specifically for military families. It’s also interactive, giving military families a chance to connect with each other as they move through the program.

“We are all members of military families at MFAN,” Kimball said. “We are living this life, and we know what this is like. That’s why connecting families to the resources, people and information they may need to be successful is so important to us.”

• As of January 2019, 47 states offer some form of unemployment benefits to military spouses, with the exception of North Dakota, Louisiana and Idaho.

• Each state has its own unemployment insurance program and typically requires filing for benefits either by telephone or online. Visit the CareerOneStop Unemployment Benefits page for more information about individual state requirements.

• Some licensed professional credentials aren’t accepted over state lines. Dana Manciagli, a job search coach and curriculum instructor for the military spouse community, notes this trend with Arizona becoming the first state to recognize out-of-state occupational licenses in April of 2019. However, it may be years before all states adopt this change.

By Tiffany

As military teenagers face the upcoming school year, their experience extends beyond transitioning to the next grade level. They have to cope with a completely unfamiliar environment.

While civilian peers are creating summer memories together, many military teens will spend these months relocating to a new zip code. Then they will be placed into a new social habitat with unfamiliar teachers and classmates. And they are expected to thrive.

This is not an uncommon story,

either. According to the Department of Defense Education Activity, the average military family moves three times more often than their civilian counterparts.

Parents readily sing along to the anthem that “raising a teenager is hard,” but that fist pump slowly descends for military parents with the cognizance that their teenager didn’t sign up for a mobile lifestyle. Plus, the behaviors that make parenting hard are simply a result of teens struggling to adapt and adjust.

Master Sgt. Gary Williams, an active duty Marine for 22 years, has

observed the toll relocating has taken on his 13 year old. Since Williams’ oldest son was born, his family has relocated five times. His teen has attended six different schools including three middle schools.

Williams has struggled watching his son’s school transitions.

“Since he got to middle school he started slacking off a little,” he said. “Eighth grade hit him hard. He wasn’t doing his work and he actually lied to me about it.”

When Williams and his wife, LaTanya, confronted their son to discuss the negative behavior, they were met with a defensive wall.

“He thinks that what we are telling him is not genuine and we don’t know what we’re talking about,” Gary Williams said.

LaTanya Williams said she is often, “surprised by his choices and behavior. It makes me want to examine the friends he is around.”

Amy Hellmich, a military spouse of 13 years and mom of three, shared a similar experience with her 19 year old.

“It started at about late middle school,” she said. “She started to assert her individuality. She also relied more on her peers than us. What we said didn’t matter to her.”

While Hellmich appreciates the adventures her family gets to take together, she also feels that the military lifestyle fights against a teen’s development. This phase includes asserting independence, defining identity and acquiring self-esteem. A large part of this development is hinged on their social environment.

Research from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

Eve Lawrence

Gary and LaTanya Williams appreciate the balance they have in raising their teen. They rely on each other’s experience and wisdom to successfully co-parent. Submitted photo.

supports Hellmich’s claims, too, showing that positive friendships provide youth with companionship, support and a sense of belonging.

As Hellmich’s teenager became older, she admits that it became harder and harder for her during relocations.

“Smaller children are much easier to move. The older they are, the more they depend on their peers and they start to create those friendships that last a lifetime. Leaving that behind is incredibly rough for a child,” she said.

Hellmich has repeatedly witnessed her teenager get ripped away from friendships and have to start over. She’s chosen to combat the effects of the pattern by keeping open communication with her daughter and helping her maintain contact with friends from previous duty stations. Hellmich encourages other parents with teenagers to do the same.

During the Williams’ most recent move, their teen had to deal with more than finding new friends.

LaTanya Williams said, “In Okinawa and California, things were very happy and diverse. Our son was used to the suburban life and got a culture shock of inner city kids when we came to this smaller county in Maryland. So while he’s becoming a teenager and finding his own, he’s also getting exposed

to a lifestyle that he wasn’t raised around. He started to act like the kids at his new school, and playing the part to be cool. He was trying to find himself and at the same time test boundaries at home. Like, ‘How far will they let me go?’”

Gary and LaTanya Williams have created a strategy for dealing with tense moments when addressing their son’s behavior. They choose to step away from the conversation so they can remain calm and see all perspectives. After investigating, they come up with a unified approach, and also decipher who will take the lead on specific topics.

There are times when Gary Williams’ approach would be more relatable, so he tells his wife, “When I was his age I did the same thing, so let me talk to him.” During the times when LaTanya Williams takes the lead, she says, “Even if my son is not right, I always hear his side so that he knows I value his perspective.”

One consistency military teens can rely on, though, no matter where they are in the world is the youth activities center. Chadwick Wells, the child and youth department assistant director at Naval Air Station Jacksonville said, “We offer a safe place for teenagers to have fun and engage with each other. We take them on field trips. They go to the gym, the pool and we also take them on college tours.”

It also provides a safe hangout for their teens where they’ll be supervised and around peers who can relate to the fun, changes and challenges of military lifestyle.

Just like adults who go through an array of emotions with military demands, teens deal with many of the same. However, a teenager’s experience is also overlapped with adolescence, puberty and peer pressure. By approaching issues from the teen’s perspective, parents will find a deeper understanding of what they’re going through.

The Williams have children ranging in ages from 5 to 13. Submitted photo.

Living in Germany is one of the many adventures Amy Hellmich has embarked on with her family. She says she values the exposure of the military lifestyle. Submitted photo

LaTanya Williams said she wants the values her and her husband have taught their children to help them make the right decisions without parent intervention. Submitted photo.

The experience of the male military spouse

By Jenn Bedard

While men are positioned prominently in discussions about business, politics and history, they are seldom mentioned in conversations about military spouses, making their stories rarely told.

Statistically, male military spouses are a minority. According to a Department of Defense 2017 report , only 8.5% of active duty spouses and 13% of selected Reserve spouses are male.

When Patrick Ortman married into the military community in 2009, it seemed that male spouses were not in the public consciousness at all. Every group, text or organization created to support military spouses contained the word “wife.” Ortman found himself frequently questioned while on base, as if he did not belong there. The commissary was a particularly tough place to be and

after a few initial shopping trips, he decided to go elsewhere and avoid the inquisition. Ten years later, he hasn’t shopped on base again.

Throughout his wife’s service in the Navy, Ortman has been the main caretaker for their children while also working as a financial adviser.

“There is an unofficial role for spouses in the military, which involves prioritizing the service member’s career,” Ortman explained. “The process of understanding and navigating this role is common to all military spouses and is often built upon social connections. It’s harder to develop those connections as the only male in the group.”

Ortman’s experience with spouse clubs has been limited mostly to Facebook posts. He attended several events but felt slightly

uncomfortable. While, individually, female spouses were welcoming to him, the prospect of being an obvious anomaly was daunting.

Ortman feels that the social barrier that comes with non-traditional gender roles is even more difficult in the military world because of the expectations and traditions so deeply entrenched in its history and structure.

“The military tries to control everything, so it feels harder when you don’t fit in,” he said.

Robert Jasinski similarly relinquished traditional gender roles to serve as the main caretaker for his two children. Until his retirement this January, Jasinski worked midnights as a patrol lieutenant for the Juneau County Sheriff’s Office in Mauston, Wisconsin. His wife serves as a major in the Air National Guard.

Jasinski didn’t think of himself as a military spouse until recently when he retired and it affected his everyday life.

“She’s bringing home the paycheck,” he said. “She’s supporting me!”

With a smile in his voice, he added, “In January, I put ‘military spouse’

Robert Jasinski

The Ross Family in England in 2018. Submitted photo.

on my profile and made it Facebook official.”

Just as he was retiring, his wife received orders at the National Guard Bureau in Arlington, Virginia. She moved alone, leaving him to care for their two teenagers and prepare their cross-country move. This is their family’s first permanent relocation, as Jasinski’s wife has always worked at a base near their home.

For Jasinski, this life change seems daunting. In their small town of New Lisbon, there were no spouse groups.

“It’s never been offered to me; no one’s ever reached out,” he explained.

He has joined several social media groups for military spouses in the District of Columbia area, and finds them to be helpful sources of information. Jasinski is skeptical, however, of the “social” potential inherent in this media.

His hesitations seem to stem from discomfort in being the only male in a large group of women, fears that his presence might be unsettling for others. Jasinski admitted, “I don’t know that I would fit in.”

Michael Ross’ experience has differed quite radically from those of both Ortman and Jasinski. Ross and his wife, a Navy lieutenant commander, served at several international stations before moving to the district’s area last year. Overseas, Ross found a great sense of community among fellow military spouses, through both official spouse clubs and more informal channels.

At Naval Air Facility Atsugi, Japan, Ross served as treasurer of the Spouses’

Club for one year. Despite being the only male in a group of 200 air wing officer spouses, he felt at ease.

“They were very welcoming and protective of me,” he said. “I was always just considered one of them.”

Ross also found support in a community of Navy families stationed at Geilenkirchen, Germany. He connected deeply with the U.S. and international military families whom he met in Hamburg, Germany.

Musing about whether this tight bonding was the result of greater isolation and geographic concentration, Ross notes that despite the enormous presence of military personnel in the district, it seems harder to find that same sense of connectedness.

Ross continues to work as a professional photographer and as a stay-at-home dad. He plans to participate in spouse club events that interest him, regardless of the group demographics. He explains that there is a sort of “learning

curve” in adjusting to the skewed ratio of women to men and finding a comfortable space in the group. He admits he must be cognizant of how things may be perceived but seems to have fully accepted this reality.

“Overall, my experience has been overwhelmingly positive,” he said.

Ortman, Jasinski and Ross are just a few of the male spouses who comprise the larger military family. Their struggle for community is complicated by their minority status but their meager involvement in spouse clubs is not from lack of interest.

By making space for male spouses and utilizing their talents and voices, the military spouse community can become richer while better serving and supporting their own.

For male military spouses looking to connect with other military husbands, visit Macho Spouse — and online forum created by Air Force spouse Chris Pape.

The Ortman Family at Cabin John Regional Park, Maryland, in Fall 2018. Submitted photo.

Supporting through yourmilitary child

‘seasons’ of their education

by Emily Marcason-Tolmie

Inconsistencies within the nation’s education system are a challenge military families must frequently navigate with each permanent change of station move.

Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman, an Air Force spouse, writer and advocate within the military spouse community, has navigated three moves and three schools in three years with her two school-aged children. She faced mismatched curriculums and her children were not given consistent services for nearly four consecutive years.

“There are more than a million

military-connected kids attending public schools, possibly experiencing the same ride on an emotional roller coaster and feeling academically vulnerable like our family did,” Allsbrook-Huisman said. “There had to be a better way for all these amazing, resilient kids to move through transition and I believed empowering their parents with knowledge and practical proven ideas would help.”

Amanda Trimillos has been an Air Force spouse for more than 20 years with four military-connected children, is a National Board Certified Teacher with over 15 years of experience teaching 6th

through 12th grades both in her local military community and with the Department of Defense Education Activity overseas. Her dual perspective as both teacher and mother provides a unique insight into the real challenges military students face, and ways parents and teachers can advocate for them.

Allsbrook-Huisman and Trimillos co-authored “Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers.” The book offers teacher tips, parent advice, conversation starters and practical strategies parents and teachers can use on their own and with each other to support the student.

“The best part is that each of the strategies and tips have been used by parents and teachers from all grade levels. They are realistic and vetted by parents and teachers of military-connected students,” Trimillos said.

Allsbrook-Huisman and Trimillos outline military-student transition in “seasons.”

• Season of Leaving: “It begins when there are hints of orders and quiet discussions of where the military may send us next,” Allsbrook-Huisman said.

• Season of Arriving: “This season begins with preparations for the first day at a new school to include registration and meet the teacher,” AllsbrookHuisman said.

• Season of Growing: “This begins after the first parentteacher conference and continues as the student begins to put down roots, becoming fully integrated into the new school,” Trimillos said. “This integration period is the time when the student is settling into the new academic standards of the school and state since not all states have the same curriculum or standards.”

• Season of Thriving: “This begins when the student is fully integrated into a new school and continues as long as the student remains at the same school,” Trimillos said.

Trimillos acknowledges inconsistencies between schools as a challenge for military families.

“There are inconsistencies between

schools in a single district. And even more when crossing state borders. The average American doesn’t see these inconsistencies because they don’t move as often as military families,” Trimillos said.

She stresses parents be firm yet considerate. “We are coming to the school with experience of frustration behind us. We are ready to battle to ensure our military kids don’t lose academic standing or skills due to a PCS. The school can see the battle in our faces and tone of our voice. But they don’t have the experience to understand our frustration. They need us to be firm while at the same time gentle in our approach. Our children need us to build a partnership with the school.” she said.

The authors of “Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers” provide insight into how to prepare for the next school season with ease. Submitted photo.

Facebook, to find special needs groups.

To alleviate stress and frustration, Allsbrook-Huisman recommends parents build an education binder with a child’s educational history including work samples, report cards, personal notes about grades and attendance, standardized tests to show progression, list of curricula used by the prior school so teachers and parents can work together to address discrepancies, teacher-toteacher communication describing the students learning style including strengths and weaknesses, and a picture of the student so a new student doesn’t get lost in the crowd.

Allsbrook-Huisman and Trimillos believe parents and teachers are the boots on the ground for militaryconnected children, especially when dealing with an Individualized Education Program. Their advice is to follow social media groups, like

“Make contact with some other parents who are in the same school district. Find out if they have any suggestions on if one school known for being better than another for certain areas of disability. Find someone on the inside,”AllsbrookHuisman said. Trimillos also reminds parents to be familiar with state and local regulations. The Military Interstate Compact through MIC3 is a great place to start.

Allsbrook-Huisman and Trimillos run a Facebook group, called Seasons of My Military Student Parent & Teacher Group K-12 , for parents, teachers and invested adults of military-connected students. Allsbrook-Huisman is also involved with Families on the Home Front, a group helping parents navigate school transition.

“The days of blindly handing our kids over to new schools with hope that they will understand the challenges of military kids are long gone; we need to lean on others who understand our lifestyle for a smoother transition. We are in this together as parents and educators,” Allsbrook-Huisman said.

Meet two military kids with big dreams who are making a difference in the world through their non-profit organizations.

Isabelle Richards, a current high school student, was just seven years old when she decided to support wounded veterans. She founded the program Cards and Cupcakes Supporting Our Wounded Warriors to inspire wounded or disabled veterans after transitioning out of military service.

Sharia Linton, 11, makes a difference not only in her San Diego community, but around the world through Sharia’s Closet. She collects, cleans, and organizes gently used clothing and shoes for men, women and children, then helps distribute them to families who need them most. These military kids are proof that anyone can have a positive impact on the world.

Inspiration to make a difference

Isabelle grew up in a military family with her father in the Navy and two of her older brothers in the Army and Marine Corps. It’s no surprise that she was helping her mom at the Marine Corps Trials—a Paralympic event for wounded veterans—when she was very young. Isabelle noticed that not many people were there supporting the veterans.

“I felt really sad and upset for

By Lizann Lightfoot

wounded warriors because I knew that they thought they were out of the fight. I know how passionate my dad and brothers are about their jobs, so I thought the veterans should be supported and loved too. Well, at seven years old I realized what made me happy was cupcakes and cards for my dad and brothers. That’s how Cards and Cupcakes was born,” she said.

Sharia has a simple strategy for helping people around the world: “People need clothes, and every person deserves to have clothes.”

Her family founded Sharia’s Closet in 2013. Her mother, Shamine, grew up in Jamaica and witnessed extreme poverty, so she always wanted to support the poor, even

after coming to the America. When young Sharia recovered from a life-threatening medical issue, the family decided Sharia’s Closet was the perfect way to say thank you for the gift of her life. Since age 5, Sharia has been involved with the project—first working out of the family’s backyard, then out of a church, and now a larger distribution center.

“I remember washing shoes when I was really little, because I never wanted to give anyone anything that was dirty. Now my favorite job is packing the bags because it’s fun to make outfits and think about ways you would like to dress. The baby and toddler outfits are so cute! I like to put notes in each of the bags because it helps make a difference

Isabelle Richards

and inspire people,” Sharia said.

Military kids growing non-profits

Both girls are heavily involved in their organizations, even though they are also full-time students. Isabelle spends about four hours per week working on Cards and Cupcakes, either responding to messages, baking cupcakes or delivering them to events. Her company has grown in the past seven years, too. She now has a network of volunteers at 22 locations across the country. Last year, her team reached over 10,000 veterans, and experimented with many new flavors and recipes.

“I love to inspire change and make people happy, one cupcake at a time,” Isabelle explained.

And Sharia is hands-on at Sharia’s Closet, too, working most days after school and every Saturday afternoon. She has helped with every aspect of the organization, from sorting and washing donations, to folding clothes, painting shelves and packing bags for individuals. She even sits behind the front desk and welcomes everyone.

Her father is a Marine and her older brother is in the Air Force, so she makes sure some of the clothes go to young enlisted families. Other recipients include children in foster homes, homeless men and women, recovering addicts needing professional clothing, hurricane victims in Puerto Rico and refugee families in Mexico. Last year, they served 2,751 individuals who needed clothing.

“I tell everyone about Sharia’s Closet,” Sharia said. “… and often

my friends come with me to help and my teachers donate too.”

Hope for the future

The girls also hope to inspire other kids. In 2018, Isabelle was named the Operation Homefront Military Child of the Year. She describes the experience as both humbling and overwhelming, and it gave her a chance to network with many people and increase awareness for wounded warriors. Her message to other military kids with big ideas is, “First make a plan and find people that can support you. Never quit on your ideas that you’re passionate

about. Military kids are the strongest most resilient innovators I know.”

Sharia encourages kids to look beyond their own families and find ways to share acceptance and love with everyone.

“Even if you don’t start your own company, there are so many other ways you can help. If you’re really confident in your ideas, then you should do it because you never know-- it might be your destiny,” she added.

Sharia Linton

Big guns advocacy for military spouses

By Jennifer Barnhill

In order to see where military spouses rank politically, it is important to examine who is advocating for them financially, politically and socially.

In a highly-politicized world, it is easy to shy away from taking an active role in partisan politics. Military spouses are an especially vulnerable demographic. From day one, active duty spouses are taught to avoid engaging in politics while in their military member serves. This has led many to take a step back from the political process, relying on outside entities to advocate on their behalf.

Advocacy can be looked at as an underrated catalyst of change. Sometimes it starts small, with local communities raising their voices towards a common goal. There is not one person who lights the flame, but many. When support is broken down, people must look at attention given, actions taken and dollars spent in order to understand military spouse advocacy.

Nonprofits

Just as there are countless military service organizations, there are countless groups fighting for military-related causes in Washington. Blue Star Families, the USO and others advocate by conducting surveys or providing resources to elected officials, service members and their families. Among them is the Military Family Advisory

Network, a well-known resource for many policy makers.

Rather than proactively promoting an agenda, MFAN focuses on “educating those in decision making roles about real, authentic experiences of military families through providing scientific research,” said MFAN Executive Director Shannon Razsadin.

The 501 (c)(3) recruits a diverse advisory board that mirrors the military spouse community. Board members serve a two-year term and connect the organization to military spouse communities across the country. MFAN disseminates information from the Department of Defense to the military community, while keeping its finger on the pulse of military community contentment.

When discontent builds, organizations, like the National Military Family Association, step in.

“We spend a fair amount of time helping families get help from their chain of command. [If] there is not a solution under current policy, we need to address that in a broader fashion. Not everything has to go to Congress,” said Joyce Raezer, executive director of NMFA.

“We try whenever possible to solve a problem at the appropriate level, but we are not shy about going to their boss, whoever that is, when action doesn’t happen at the level it is supposed to,” Raezer continued.

When NMFA sees successes at the command or federal level, their advocacy work is not over.

Sen. Tim Kaine has positioned himself as a leading Capitol Hill advocate for the military spouse community. Photo by Maddie Dolan.

2010

“We then press whoever is responsible to implement that law,” Raezer emphasized. This includes military leaders as well as elected officials.

If it’s broke, let’s fix it.

Perhaps the most familiar form of advocacy is legislative. This process requires political support.

Sen. Tim Kaine of Virginia is considered by many to be a military spouse advocate. Kaine, also a military parent, cosponsored the Military Spouse Employment Bill of 2018. The majority of the bill was passed as part of the 2019 National Defense Authorization Act in August 2018, just over six months after it was introduced to the Senate, a rare occurrence in Washington.

“I’m happy to report that these have not been partisan issues,” said Sarah Peck, Kaine’s communications

In 2019, the federal government budgeted $100 million dollars for military spouse employment. This represents .01% of the $686.1 billion DOD 2019 budget.

Military spouse employment appeared as its own line item in 2010 DOD budget, the same time that the My Career Advancement Account program was relaunched with adjusted eligibility requirements. While getting a named budget line item is significant, the total dollar amount is less so.

director. “In such a supercharged partisan time, one word of encouragement is that people on both sides of the aisle want to help find solutions.”

In other words, Washington politicians want to be perceived as supporting military issues, allowing for cooperative and timely decisionmaking.

It can be intimidating to connect to political representatives. This hesitancy is exacerbated when people are unsure if they should call representatives from their home of record, where they are a resident or where they are currently stationed. Peck encourages plugging-in to local communities in addition to where people are registered to vote. Even if someone is not a constituent, their military issues affect the local community and are worth hearing.

The federal budget has not increased military spouse education spending for nine years. In 2010, 1.4% of total spending was allocated, setting aside $100 million out of $708.2 billion. With inflation, these numbers have not just stagnated, but decreased. In order to keep up with an average inflation of 2% per year, this budget amount would need to be closer to $119.51 million to break even.

2019

Section 574 of the 2019 National Defense Authorization Act that was passed in August 2018, required the DOD to study the efficiency of the money spent on MYCAA within 180 days. Findings have yet to be reported. Being included in the budget and legislation is important, but effective spending and implementation is vital.

As more and more military family issues are brought to light, now is the time for military spouses to step up and take action. Finances are flowing. Advocacy organizations are researching. Politicians are listening. Change starts with one small step in the right direction.

Author Jennifer Barnhill and Sen. Tim Kaine pictured together, who has positioned himself as a leading Capitol Hill advocate for the military spouse community. Photo by Maddie Dolan.

Joyce Raezer speaks at the 2019 Homefront Rising event and is another major advocate for military spouses.

Photo by Maddie Dolan.

How military involvement affects when to have children

| By Jenn Bedard

Results from an online survey done for Military Families Magazine of 100 self-identified military spouses suggest that, for military spouses with children, military involvement largely impacts the timing but not the choice to have children. Conversely, for military spouses who choose not to have children, military involvement seems to play a more substantial role in that decision.

Read a full analysis of these survey results on our website by following this QR code.

self-identified military spouses were polled.

Approximately 75% 62%

Survey responses included spouses from all military branches, ranging from 18 to 65 years of age. 80% already have children, 15% currently do not have children, and 6% said they do not have children and do not plan to have them.

20%

of survey respondents said that they had always wanted to and assumed they would have children someday.

of respondents said that deployment had impacted their family planning.

said they felt that being a parent was their calling or they felt a sense of duty to have children.

78%

said that relocating, or experiencing a Permanent Change of Station, had been a significant factor.

of survey respondents who said that the timing of their decision to have children was directly affected by military involvement.