2019 MF FEBRUARY

“A thorough brief on the list of benefits the VA offers as well as state benefits. And also if there are any benefits that can be transferred to a family member prior to exiting the service. The post-9/11 G.I. Bill was new before my husband retired and so he could not transfer it to our children. They told him he had to do 6 years of obligated service in order for those benefits to transfer. Exceptions because of circumstances would have been nice especially [since] the transfer of benefits was a new thing.”

— @sc_jas

“More support for those who are medboarding out, especially those with long term issues directly related to deployment. “

— @carryingonproject

“Assign mentors to those who want them to follow up with the members and their goals after service.”

— @homefrontroomrevival

“I would say that they should not look at it as a military operation. The program should not be run by individuals who have never held a civilian job. Also, there should be a focus on dividing up the program by years of service, NOT rank. I find senior leaders have the hardest time transitioning because they have the most established picture of who they are, and where they think they should be. There should be more funding to NPOs providing transition services as opposed to a government program.”

“Mental health awareness for military spouses, what to look for in your spouse.

[With] the TBI issues we went though, we were completely lost and alone and I had no idea what was wrong. Turns out it’s all textbook and I could have been prepped. The active duty person cannot help themselves when they are in such a state and we need to know what to do.”

— @patriotplanningconsulting “The #Marinecorps offers an abbreviated transition readiness seminar for spouses of active duty military nearing retirement. Having taken it twice, I believe all spouses from all branches would benefit greatly from the class. I’m finding I’m a fresh set of eyes and ears for my transitioning husband. Great information! “

— @esther_inman

—@militarywifeentertains

Infobox:

Visit us on social media on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ MilitaryFamiliesMagazine and on Instagram at www.instagram.com/ militaryfamiliesmagazine for more insights and comments about everything to do with military families! You may even be featured in a future issue of Military Families Magazine!

This month, we asked our Instagram followers about military transition and they had a lot to say:

Question: What can the military do to make the transition process easier?

Military Families Magazine by AmeriForce Media, LLC, is published 12 times a year for active duty service members and their families. Copies are available through participating family service centers, relocation offices, transition offices, base lodges, libraries, daycare centers, MWR activities and other locations by request.

Unit distribution requests can be made online at www.AmeriForceMedia.com/ mf/print-magazines/

Individuals can order a free digital edition of this issue at www.AmeriForceMedia.com/ mf/subscribe-free/

Editorial comments can be emailed to Editor@AmeriForceMedia.com

Military Families Magazine is published by AmeriForce Media, LLC, Bloomington, Indiana, a private company. Information and advertisements in this publication do not constitute endorsement by any branch of the military or the Department of Defense. No part of this publication may be copied without the express written permission of the publishers. AmeriForce Media, LLC, the publishers, and publisher’s agents make no endorsement of any advertised services or products and none should be inferred.

EDITORIAL AND PRODUCTION

President and Publisher Todd Taranto

Editorial Director Jennifer G. Williams

Managing Editor Bianca M.Strzalkowski

Design Open-Look Business Solutions

ADVERTISING

PLEASE CALL 703-337-8100

Todd Taranto Publisher

Todd.Taranto@AmeriForceMedia.com

Julie Miller

Vice President, Sales

Julie.Miller@AmeriForceMedia.com

Brian Dunbar

Director of Business Development

Brian.Dunbar@AmeriForceMedia.com

Ursula Hirschhaeuser

Germany Sales +49 (0) 69-15053980

Ursula.Hirschhaeuser@AmeriForceMedia.com

AmeriForce Media, LLC

400 West 7th St. #233 Bloomington, IN 47404 www.AmeriForceMedia.com

When parents transition, so do kids. And Sesame Workshop offers resources to support active-duty military and veteran families with kids ages 2 to 5 as they transition from military to civilian life. This new storybook and set of parent tips can make starting conversations with your children easier, allowing you to discuss the upcoming changes and ease their concerns.

Visit www.sesamestreet.org/toolkits/veterans for more information and to download your own kit.

Photo: Courtesy Sesame Workshop

Lauren Lomsdale

is a USMC spouse and the mom of three spunky girls. In addition to her work as the owner of Lauren Lomsdale Creative Studios as a virtual assistant, marketing manager, and social media manager she is also the Managing Editor of Daily Mom Military and one half of the YouTube channel #TheDependas. In her minimal spare time, she also loves to run long distances, work out, and sing along to the Greatest Showman in her kitchen holding holding a glass of wine.

T. T. Robinson

is a freelance writer, editor and speaker. She is the founder of Humans on the Homefront and author of the New York Times Deployment Diary. Her work has been featured in the Washington Post, We Are The Mighty, Military.com and several other outlets. She is a graduate of Harvard’s Leadership in Crises Executive Education program, something that has proved super helpful as the mother of two young children.

Amanda Huffman

is a military spouse and veteran who served in the Air Force for six years as a Civil Engineer including a deployment to Afghanistan. She traded in her combat boots for a diaper bag to stay home with her two boys and follow her husband’s military career, which currently has them stationed in Northern Virginia. Her blog, Airman to Mom, incorporates stories from her past military life and how she views life through her unique experiences as a veteran and military spouse.

Amy Pottinger

is an Air Force wife currently stationed in Honolulu, Hawaii. The mom of two was recently a finalist on Food Network Star. Amy loves to explore her locations one ingredient at a time, while running a culinary blog called Caviar and Crayons at https://www.caviarandcrayons.com.

Andia Dinesen

is the Executive Vice President for Communications and Operations at the Association of Military Banks of America (AMBA), a not for profit association of banks operating on military installations, banks not located on military installations but serving military customers, and military banking facilities designated by the U. S. Treasury. Andia is certified as an Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC®). She completed a FINRA Investor Education Foundation Military Spouse Fellowship and was credentialed by the Association for Financial Counseling and Planning Education (AFCPE). In 2000 she graduated from Northern Arizona University with a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology. Andia has relocated with her family to nine installations since 2000 to include two overseas assignments. She now resides in Lorton, Virginia, with her husband, Ian, and their two daughters.

Brian Niswander

is the Founder of Military-Transition.org, an organization that uses data analytics and visualizations to assist military members with their transition into the civilian workforce. He started Military-Transition. org after identifying a need for data-driven-solutions which inform and guide veteran decision making during the reintegration process. His organization also shares data and visualizations to assist military spouses with employment challenges. Brian was an Air Force intelligence officer and he now provides ‘transition intelligence’ to educate military families. His work has been featured in numerous publications along with radio and podcast interviews. His background includes analytic and leadership positions within the consumer goods industry along with management, strategic planning and marketing in public and private organizations. Brian has an M.B.A. from the University of Notre Dame and a B.S. in Behavioral Science/Human Factors Engineering from the U.S. Air Force Academy.

Military Transition

The process of transitioning from the military is often more difficult, confusing and stressful than service members and families expect. After speaking with and surveying thousands of veterans and spouses, my first piece of advice would be to start thinking about life after the military on day one.

I say this because decisions made while serving will have a significant

impact on the options you’ll have available after your military service. Things like your occupational specialty (MOS/AFSC), education, training and military experiences will determine your marketability in the civilian sector.

But not everyone thinks about their post-military career on day one, so here are the five most important tips the veterans we’ve surveyed indicate as important to a successful transition:

1.Start Preparing Early: you should always be thinking about life after the military and I recommend starting your preparation at least 24-months before the transition. You should attend TAP [Transition assistance Program] at this point and again when you have between 9-12 months. Pay attend, take notes, ask questions and go a second time — because those who attended more than once were 57% more likely to say the program was “extremely” or “very” helpful.

2.Have a Transition Plan: it doesn’t have to be complex, but you should have a written plan with timelines. You need to learn about the civilian workforce, schools and training programs available to you. Think about what interests you and what doesn’t, where you and your family might enjoy living, and start engaging with those who’ve already transitioned out of uniform along with others who can serve as mentors.

3.Build Your Network: this is an important but overlooked aspects of a successful transition. Speak with others, both in and out of uniform, and ask about their experiences. Use social media (to include LinkedIn) to identify potential contacts and then reach-out. Offer to share your story and remember to pay it back and help other service members once you’ve entered the workforce.

4.Learn to Translate Your Skills: this can be a challenge and requires time, effort, and practice. I recommend that youcombine with networking and get feedback from others. Successfullytranslating your skills results in a strong resume, good interviewing skills, and the ability to demonstrate how you fit and add value within a civilian organization.

5.Be Patient: the process doesn’t happen overnight so give yourself time and learn along the way.

Life After the Uniform

By Lizann Lightfoot

Retired Marine Chris Boice, who transitioned at the end of 2018, began planning for his retirement a few years in advance.

“A little more than 18 months out I realized I needed an exit strategy,” he said. “Get to a Transition Readiness Seminar as soon as you possibly can. Lots of people go in acting like it’s a waste of a week, but keep an open mind and take lots of notes. There are tons of programs out there to help you, and your first exposure comes from these courses.”

“I took some time and decided on Information Technology. I found programs to get me certifications and

Army, began even earlier. “At my 15-year mark, I made the conscious decision that I would retire at 20 and started to forecast what I wanted my exit to look like.”

uniform behind. Transitioning must be a full-time job in the last three-to-six months you’re in uniform. That’s the level of effort you need to succeed.”

Advice for a smoother

There are so many factors to consider when planning for civilian life. Veterans recommend a combination of seeking support, staying organized, and including your family in the process. Boice suggests using a Veterans Service Officer to file your VA Disability claim. “My VSO guided me through what is and what isn’t a rateable disability. They can file your claim for you and help with any appeals that may be

Collier focuses on three different strategies in his book: LIFO (Last In, First Out), Canvas and Study. He says, “Pick a strategy that resonates with where you are, when you intend to leave the uniform, and gives you a prescriptive path towards achievement.

Riggs recommends reaching out and networking with other veterans who can serve as valuable mentors. He also reminds service members to include their family in decisions: “You’re not the only one transitioning. Place your loved ones at the forefront of the decision. Include them into the process because you’ll need their support.”

Job searches are no joke

Most veterans transitioning from military to civilian life seek a second career. Too often, veterans think their only job skills are related to their MOS. Not only does this restrict the job search, but it may also make them feel that careers using new skills are unattainable. Boice reminds other veterans that “by reading and utilizing the resources available, I’ve learned that you should apply if you’re within two years of the required experience and can accomplish most of the job requirements.”

That’s why resume preparation and resume writing are some of the most

important tasks for a transitioning veteran. Thankfully, there are numerous resources available to help veterans in the job search. Military base transition offices offer resume classes. LinkedIn provides valuable connections. You should show your resume to other veterans, ideally those who are already in your desired career field. They can give you valuable feedback and tell you what verbiage to include. Riggs adds, “Choose those who not only excelled in uniform but learned how to succeed outside of it.”

Pros and cons of retirement life

When veterans leave the military, they lose a community and lifestyle that has been their identity for years. The military community provides a unique sense of family, too. After transitioning, some veterans struggle with the identity adjustment. Riggs summed it up poignantly: “The most difficult thing is that the Army goes rolling along. You’re raised believing that the mission can’t happen without you. Yet, not only are your replaceable, you’re easily forgotten once your services are no longer required. Losing that bond—the relationships—that’s been the most difficult part for me.”

But life after the uniform has perks. A more traditional job usually means not getting up as early, and no mandatory PT. It allows service members more time to themselves to pursue new hobbies and careers, or discover skills beyond their military job description. They can build their own community, having a greater amount of impact.

Boice says, “The best part is taking a break and having time to focus on my goals and plan out my future. I never really had time to focus on that while I was in the military.”

Life after the uniform is an adjustment, but it means veterans can finally choose their own priorities and their future.

Resources for Transitioning Vets

TAP (Transition Assistance Program) is a DoD program available on most military bases. Service members can attend more than once, and though it is optional for family members, attendance is highly encouraged. Take a LinkedIn class, preferably one that hires a photographer, so you can get a professional headshot done to include on all your profiles and resumes if necessary. Hiring Our Heroes hosts these types of events around the U.S.: www. hiringourheroes.org

The USO has a program sponsored by Google, called the “Google IT Support Professional” that is currently free to transitioning service members. The USO Pathfinder program sets you up with a career counselor to guide you on your path to success after service.

Mentoring opportunities are available through the Veteran Mentor Network on LinkedIn, ACP (American Corporate Partners) or Veterati , www.veterati. com , which offers free, one-hour mentoring sessions with former veterans.

Immersion programs like VETTED, Shift, Breakline, Stanford Ignite, Fourblock, and Boots to Business allow veterans to develop workplace skills and experience.

DOD Skillbridge, approved by limited military units, is an opportunity to intern or work on your transition out of the uniform.

Bunker Labs , www.bunkerlabs.org, is a network of veteran entrepreneurs, on a mission to locate and empower the next generation of entrepreneurs.

Preparing Financially FOR YOUR

Military Transition

It may be that time for you. For your family. Are you ready? Are you prepared?

By Andia Dinesen

Arguably the hardest thing about many new life situations is the unknown. Transition out of military service is no different. It is hard to make a solid plan for a life you are not yet living.

However, there are things you can do to be ready and prepared for the unknown in order to make the transition smoother. Check out the tips below to help you and your family during this process.

1

Beef up your liquid savings. Ideally, about six to 12 months before transitioning you should make saving a priority. Consider putting aside three-to-six months* of living expenses. Having this “transition money” saved will greatly help with any potential bumps in the first few months of transition.

*Review all your fixed monthly expenses (loans, mortgage, rent, childcare, etc.) and multiply them to get this number. Using three-to-six months depends on what you are most comfortable with — do not forget about other necessities, such as groceries, gas, etc.

2

Review your LES. Your LES can be a helpful tool for transition. You have three main sections on your LES. Going left to right, start with entitlements.

a.Entitlements

BAS and BAH will not be on your new civilian pay stub. Not only will they not be there, but if you look at the bottom line (your entire entitlements pay) you need to keep in mind that these two amounts were not taxed. Therefore, you will need to consider the increase in the next block on your LES.

b.Deductions

Your federal taxes will likely be higher (depending on your new pay) and you will likely have state taxes taken out, if you do not already. Your FICA taxes for Medicare and Social Security will likely increase as well. You may also have other deductions in this column such as TSP, SGLI, and Family SGLI. Insurance and retirement accounts are important considerations as you transition. You will need to replace these with civilian accounts, depending on your situation.

c.Allotments

This area of your LES is where you may have other payments that you set up, such as a transfer to a savings account, a TSP loan*, other payments, and/or your dental and vision plans. Keep these in mind when reviewing your LES as you think about your new paycheck.

*If you do have a TSP loan this will need to be paid in full while you are still in an active pay status. For more information please visit TSP.gov

Research everything. This may seem a little overwhelming, but there are so many factors for each individual or family that should be considered when transitioning that nothing should be overlooked. Knowing where you will live, or where you will consider moving to, is one of the most important aspects to evaluate. Costs of living can differ greatly between areas of the country, even in suburban, rural, or urban areas of the same region. Whether you are transitioning out after just one enlistment to go to school or retiring after a long career, the cost of living will be a huge factor in determining how far your dollar will go.

3

Last tip: seek out the professionals. Go to your installation’s family readiness center and take advantage of all they have to offer from resume writing to financial counseling and classes. You can even use these services for up to one year after transition.

From Dual Military Couple to Military Spouse Life

By Amanda Huffman

I had intended to serve in the Air Force for 20 years, so when the decision came to leave that career after just six, it was hard. It felt like I was walking away from my dream — or maybe even quitting. I wanted to continue serving alongside my husband, but making life work as a dual military couple just wasn’t working for us.

Should I stay or should I go?

There were three main things that pushed me to hang up my uniform for good, altering my military identification card — and own identity — to dependent.

My husband, who was also in the military, had a career field that didn’t jive with mine. We knew that in order for us to both serve the full 20 years, we would likely have to commit to being separated for at least one assignment.

The second factor came with my first deployment. It was a year-long deployment including training, and it was hard being separated from my husband for that long. My husband also PCSed while I was deployed. All these little inconveniences were relatively easy to overcome without children, but then I found out I was pregnant and everything changed.

With just the things I listed above it should have been clear that leaving the military made the most sense for our family. Though, at the time, I still wasn’t sure.

Life is all about making tough choices, and oftentimes, a plan looks better on paper — especially when trying to make decisions as a dual military couple.

I thought being a military spouse and mom would be easy, but I quickly learned that military spouse life is vastly different than I’d expected. There is a sense of order and expectations in the military. Military spouse life has twists and turns, and nothing can ever be replicated. I once knew who my friends would be at each duty station as I became connected with the people I worked with. For military spouses, there are no guarantees that you will find your tribe at each new location.

Three tips for a smooth(er) transition:

One thing you can do before you begin your transition process is to get connected with the military community in your area. If you are married to someone in the service even while serving you are a military spouse. By attending these events you can begin to meet other spouses for support. There are also great groups

Lastly, leaving the military can make you feel lost. That is why so much of the transition classes are focused on finding a new purpose. If you don’t plan to work in traditional employment, do plan to have a hobby, take a class or consider entrepreneurship — a growing trend among spouses who are passionate about particular products or services.

The military gave you so many tools during your time in service. Use those tools to create a new vision and dream!

It’s no secret that the “tiny living” trend has started. There are television shows dedicated to showing how people are choosing to downsize to tiny homes, RVs or vans transformed into livable spaces. But for many of us, this is just a fascination — wondering how people can sell all of their belongings and cram a family of five (or more) into such a small space.

One military family has decided to make this trend a reality, moving their family of six humans and a few furry family members into a remodeled bus.

Military families often get creative when they are preparing to move, sometimes opting to sell off belongings and travel to a new duty station in a RV-style vehicle — and after the most recent brutal PCS season, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. But many of us still live the traditional lifestyle in a home with several bedrooms, a large kitchen to fit every appliance possible, and a dedicated career room with all your spouse’s memorabilia (we all have one).

However, for the Bissonnette family, this wasn’t always their dream. Mom, Shiang-Ling, had thoughts of minimalism here and there but it mostly ebbed and flowed with the mountains of laundry that piled from her four kids and MARSOC husband.

“I just hated the cleaning,” she said, “There was always something to clean and stuff to move. It was exhausting.” But in January of 2018, the Bissonnette family got news they weren’t expecting: coming straight off of a deployment, her husband was to be involuntarily separated from the Marine Corps.

“We weren’t expecting it,” husband Johnny states. “I always thought I’d do my 20 and get out. I was 13 years in

From Active Duty to Tiny Living on a Bus

By Lauren Lomsdale

and now I was being told I had to go.” At this point the family had a choice to make, because their family was going down to one income.

Shiang-Ling’s marketing business, The Hive & Co, was successful, but it wasn’t enough to cover a $1,900/month mortgage plus all the other expenses. Johnny was working odd jobs to help make ends meet, and it just wasn’t

the idea of “going tiny” to her family. After some late-night discussions, research, and “the black hole of YouTube videos,” as Shiang-Ling put it, they decided to make the leap. They had to act fast, too. Johnny was to be EASed by April, a full three months sooner than a normal timeline. They bought a Thomas-built school-style bus from a reputable dealer. Since last May, they have worked to convert their bus into a home — adding beds, appliances, flooring, custom ceilings, and more. Having only been in the bus, affectionately named “Buzz,” for a few months, they still have some work to do, including getting wiring onto the bus for full-time electricity, adding solar panels, and finishing plumbing.

It’s no secret that the “tiny living” trend has started.

“We looked around,” said Shiang-Ling, “and life just wasn’t what we wanted it to be. Johnny was always exhausted, so when he was home he physically just couldn’t be as engaged with the kids. The kids had bad attitudes towards each other and constantly secluded themselves from the family. It just wasn’t the life we wanted.”

Education played a big factor, too. At the time, their four children were attending the local schools and the

“I found myself disengaged from my kids,” said Shiang-Ling. “I work from home so I couldn’t go in and volunteer as much I’d like, and we found that they were just being pushed along in their education with no real value.”

Now the Bissonettes homeschool their four children, taking the lead on their education.

And their oldest, Alexis, 10,, has her own business making clay magnets. “She is with me learning business practices, finances, and marketing,” says Shiang-Ling. She will even make the sales materials for their blog and vlog, the bHive Family, down the road. Their oldest son, Matthew, 8, came to them and said he wanted to learn about combustible engines.

“I don’t know where he heard it, but that’s what we’re talking about now during school times,” she added.

Financially, the decision made sense, too. With their income significantly reduced, they needed to make a change. Although Johnny is now in the Marine Reserves, which offers some cushion, their mortgage and regular expenses were just too much. “It’s stressful paying the mortgage on one income,” relays Shiang-Ling. “We’ve spent

$5,000 so far [to convert the bus]. We think we have another $1,000 to go.”

They are currently living outside of Ft. Campbell, Kentucky, where Johnny is completing his reserve training. “Living in the RV park only costs $1,000 per month with all the amenities we need,” she explained.

The Bissonettes have recently sold their North Carolina home, which had some damage from Hurricane Florence (but “the bus did not,” Johnny triumphantly declares). Shiang-Ling has continued to work with her remote marketing and branding business. Johnny is finishing his bachelor’s degree, hoping to move into remote teaching while being in the Reserves. The family wants to travel the country, hitting each state at least once, and living “off the grid” for awhile.

“Everyone is so much happier,” says both Johnny and Shiang-Ling. “The stress and fast-paced life is gone.”

The entire family dynamic is much more content with Dad getting to spend actual, quality time with the kids. “They have real, deep discussions now whereas before they were just ships passing,” says Shiang-Ling.

They always wanted their family to be deeply connected and to have more than the work-school-work-school life, but they weren’t able to with Johnny’s high-tempo pace at MARSOC. Financially, the Bissonettes are in a better place, too as living on the bus is significantly cheaper than living in a traditional house. With absolutely no regrets, the couple agrees that although being involuntarily separated was not in their life plans, it’s the best thing that could have happened to their family.

“Now we have a saying [that we use] all the time, “Instead of getting busy surviving, [get] busy living.”

Follow the Bissonnette family as they document this new chapter online at www.thebhivefamily.com.

Military Kids Adjust to Post-Military Life

By Jennifer G. Williams

Being a “military kid” may have become one of their identifiers, and now that moving at the whim of the DoD is over, it can be difficult to adjust being in one place for more than a few years.

“I keep waiting to hear we are going to move somewhere else,” says Katherine E., a former military child whose father retired from the Army two years ago. “I hate not being able to move and basically start over every few years,” she says.

Katherine says she balked when her family did have to PCS with the military, but now that it’s over, she misses the excitement of new adventures on a regular schedule.

Many military children say they miss their parent being in the service—not the deployments and separations, but other aspects of military life.

No More Moves

Or, at least not as many…

“You literally grow up having to make new friends every few years, and all of a sudden, you are stuck with the same people,” says the junior in high school. “It’s weird, and definitely an adjustment!”

When a parent leaves the military, it can be a stressful time for everyone in the family—children included.

Alex L., whose father recently left the Marine Corps, also says she misses and doesn’t miss PCSing every few years. “I miss having a new start in places because it feels like a blank slate I can apply to my life—in a whole new state, many miles away from the last; nobody knows who you are or what you do. It feels so fresh and the fresh starts just end.”

The high school freshman continues, “but I don’t miss having to move away from friends that you created a bond with. It’s hard and I hate that feeling. The feeling of being a new kid and not knowing where to go or what to do.”

No More Living on Base

Another adjustment for many military children is no longer living on an installation with their family.

“You get used to having everything right there,” says James B., a sixth grader whose father recently separated from the Air Force. “All your friends usually live nearby and your parents let you walk or ride your bike to the shoppette or the movie theater on base, but they won’t really let you do that once you live off-base.”

Keeping in Touch

No matter what aspects of military life are missed by military kids, there are ways for them to stay connected. Social media helps children stay in touch with friends all over the world, and many find themselves drawn to military service as they approach adulthood.

“I’m actually looking at the Air Force Academy,” says Alex L. “ I’m already familiar with the military lifestyle, and would like to remain a part of it if I can,” she says. “I think it’s just in my blood.”

Resourcess for Military Children Leaving Military Life:

This website, designed for kids, tweens and teens ages 6-17, offers a safe online community for military children to access resources to deal with the various challenges of military and postmilitary life. Through videos, activities, and participation in MKC’s monitored online forums, children can share their own ideas, experiences, and suggestions with other military children, helping them to know they are not alone. Military Kids Connect is a DoD initiative of the National Center for Telehealth & Technology (T2).

Sesame Street

https://sesamestreetformilitaryfamilies.org/topic/military-to-civilian-life/

For younger military children, Sesame Street offers tools to help make the move from military to civilian life right along with their parents. From prepping kids for a “new adventure” to helping them adjust to new and prolonged friendships, the website has a lot to offer, with videos, games and printables.

How Military Life is Like Being on the Food Network

By Amy Pottinger

Let’s play a game, shall we? You’re trying to cook a decent meal but you’re running out of time, have weird ingredients and there is chaos all around you. Where are you?

a)the Food Network Star Kitchen

b)prepping a meal during a PCS

c)an average week night dinner

Okay, maybe you have only experienced b and c, but I can assure that a isn’t that different. I am Amy Pottinger, and I am a two-time Food Network Star finalist and Comeback Kitchen winner. But my day-to-day life looks a whole lot like an overextended military spouse who is a mom, a shuttle service, a house cleaner, a live-in chef, a personal companion, conqueror of laundry (just kidding,

laundry wins), a secretary, fixer of ouchies, business owner and general ruler of chaos.

At any given time I am being pulled in 15 different directions and feel like my life is never put together. Despite my polished exterior, my clean house, and my standard issue two kids and two dogs; life gets the better of me sometimes.

Amy and kids

One place that I do find sanctuary however, is in the kitchen. I love to cook. Hey, maybe I should go on tv with my kitchen skills? Oh wait, I did.

Everyone always wants to know what it is like. Is the time real? Is it stressful? Is it scripted? I can assure you that the time is very real and that it is wildly stressful. No, it isn’t scripted, but let’s just say that lots of footage can give editing some wiggle room. (Wink. Wink.)

All in all, competing on the Food Network really does have many overlapping similarities to military life. First, it can’t exactly be explained to someone that hasn’t lived it. I don’t know how many times I have tried to explain to friends and family that we just don’t know when or where we are moving to. Also, sometimes you just have to work with what you get.

On Food Network Star, it was all the wacky challenges and ingredients. With military life, sometimes an assignment changes, a TDY or deployment pops up unexpectedly or lord knows what else comes into play. And you just have to put on your big girl/boy pants and get it done. Make some darn lemonade out of those lemons. But instead of a lemonade recipe for you, I have a wildly delicious, very simple and budget-friendly week night meal. I’ve even served it to Bobby and Giada.

Now you too can cook a Food Network Star meal to your loved ones.

Ingredients:

8 chicken thighs (bone in, skin on)

3/4 cup honey

3/4 cup stone ground or smooth

Dijon mustard

2 tbsp chicken stock

5-6 garlic cloves

3 sprigs rosemary, bruised

1 tbsp olive oil (for cooking)

salt and pepper to taste

Instructions:

1.Cut the excess skin off of the chicken. You want to leave a layer on top; it has great flavor and texture. But any extra dangly bits probably aren’t necessary. Salt and pepper to taste (both sides) and set aside.

2.In a medium size mixing bowl, combine the honey, the mustard

and chicken stock until smooth and set aside.

3.In a large pan or skillet, put a tbsp of olive oil and allow it to heat up. Add your winced garlic. Place the chicken, skin side down into the cast iron skillet and sere until it begins to brown. (Roughly 4 min) Flip and repeat the process.

4.Turn the chicken thighs so that they are skin side up again.

5.With a flat knife, bruise your rosemar y (in video) and add it to the pan.

6.Pour the honey mustard sauce over the chicken and the rosemary.

7.Put your chicken into the oven for roughly 20 minutes at 350 degrees, or until the internal temperature reaches 165. 8. Remove the chicken and spoon in some of the sauce as well.

Food Network bio shot

Sharks Swimming with the

This Military Spouse Just Landed a Deal on Shark Tank

By Rebecca Alwine

There’s a market for everything.

If you’ve ever met Kayla Roof or watched one of her training videos, you know that her energy and passion are contagious. The whole world got to see this side of her when she appeared on Shark Tank in December to pitch a product that captures a growing trend.

Roof joined business partners William and his wife Summer (he is also Kayla’s cousin), to showcase a quirky, kind-of-grossbut-kind-of-fascinating-product called Pop it Pal. The presentation went so well that the trio got a deal with Mr. Wonderful, Kevin O’Leary.

A brilliant idea

As you can imagine, the timeline of product conception to reality to Shark Tank appearance was not an overnight process. You may have even seen or heard about Pop it Pal last year, but the product launch wasn’t the beginning.

“My cousin and his wife love watching those pimple popping videos on YouTube. One day Summer said, ‘wouldn’t it be cool if we could make a fake pimple that popped like those videos we watch?’ Then, William got to work trying to create it and Pop it Pal was born. What a great husband,” Roof said.

The process of idea to prototype took about two years. And when they were ready to launch earlier this year, business exploded. “Within one week of launching our product, we went viral and were featured on every major online publication. We were shocked!” she said. Their homemade, simple video was uploaded to Facebook, and within a few days, they had 1,000 shares.

Then Roof used her expertise of Facebook ads, and things just kept growing. They were featured on Buzzfeed, LADbible, Yahoo, Business Insider, and Cosmopolitan within another week. “By the second month, we had sold over 10,000 units. We only had 20 units in stock when we uploaded that first video. Everyone was working around the clock to get them made,” Roof explained.

Shark Tank success

Shortly after their “overnight” success, Shark Tank producers reached out and asked if they had thought about applying for the show. “At that point, we had never even thought about it. Quite frankly, we were just trying to figure out how to get all of these orders fulfilled,” Roof admitted. But then they decided to go for it. After a few months, they were told they had advanced to the next round of selection.

Prepping for Shark Tank was tough. They watched the show a lot and used their day-to-day business operations to help figure out their pitch. “We’ve been writing a ton of copy for our Facebook ads and website, so writing the pitch was easy to do. We wanted to make sure we included all of the features and benefits of Pop it Pal but

They were also working through manufacturing and profit margins, so they prepped as much as possible given the timeframe and attempts to meet the market’s demands.

Roof admits she was nervous when they walked into the room full of sharks. “But I also took a moment to reflect on just how extremely grateful we were to have gotten this far. It was truly an amazing experience.”

that we know who is in charge of what. We never dreamed we’d be running this big of a business so quickly. We’re incredibly grateful for all the success we’ve had this year.”

She also continues to balance her entrepreneurial success with the demands of her service member’s career.

“Out of the last three trips I’ve taken for business, my husband has been called out to sea at the same time,” she said. Spouses everywhere are nodding their head in understanding. This Shark Tank trip happened over the summer, while the kids were out of school. And, you guessed it, her husband was called out to sea.

“This trip was extremely last minute so we had to call upon the help of relatives for part of the trip and a nanny we could count on for the other days,” Roof said.

More unique challenges

As you can imagine, launching a business as a military spouse has brought some unique challenges. Roof herself runs the Work From Anywhere Business Academy, www.workfromanywhereacademy.com, offering free classes and resources online. She is also a mother.

Since she moves at the whim of the military, Roof and her cousins don’t live in the same state.

“Communication is essential. We text all day, every day to ensure everyone knows what’s going on,” she said about working across geographic boundaries. “We also

As Roof and her partners move forward with the support of their shark, they’re ready to keep working hard. “Pop it Pal now has the resources we need for full distribution,” she said, which was one of their biggest obstacle with growing so quickly. “Our biggest issue has been meeting supply worldwide, and now we can do that. We’re also ready to come out with our next unique obsession.”

Visit https://popitpal.com to learn more about ordering Pop it Pal products.

If you are a military spouse looking for resources on entrepreneurship, visit Kayla Roof’s website at http://www.kaylaroof. com.

Fight for Your Military

By Marla Bautista Marriage

The original quote was by Marine Lt. Gen. Lewis B. “Chesty” Puller after being asked by a Pfc. for permission to marry. He responded, “Son, when the Marine Corps wants you to have a wife, you will be issued one.”

Even though spouses are not issued, it often feels like our importance is less of a priority than a hand receipt for a box of Number 2 pencils. If you want a lasting, fulfilling, and committed relationship, you’re going to have to work for it.

Marriages in the military are tough. Looming deployments, PCS moves, and other obstacles make relationships anything but easy. Building a strong foundation is the most important aspect of maintaining your commitment through separations and other less than pleasant experiences. Just like the foundation of any physical structure, over time, if the foundation obtains cracks and is not properly treated, the cracks will spread and eventually the foundation will crumble.

Our Army story

Within the first year of our marriage, my husband was given deployment orders to Iraq. Before we were wed for six months, we PCSed from Colorado to Hawaii, he was sent off to training for

30 days, and then prepared to deploy. Prior to getting married, we’d only known each other for a month. If you could imagine the uncertainty we both felt during this fragile period in our lives together, we knew so little about each other and we knew absolutely nothing about being married. The months leading up to deployment tested every ounce of our love, patience, and strength. We found out I was pregnant, then I suffered a miscarriage two months prior to deployment. I was told that I had fibroids and needed a myomectomy. This surgery required me to have my abdomen cut open shortly before my husband was set to deploy. The stressors of my medical situation drove a wedge between us and I was constantly in physical pain, and feeling like I was alone.

My husband was already overwhelmed with the thoughts of heading into a dangerous deployment and I was about to undergo a major procedure. At this point, our relationship was anything but strong. Over time, with the help of our higher power, counseling, and communication, we have been able to remain committed through all our trials and tribulations.

Building a solid foundation

Have you ever thought about going to counseling when you don’t

‘If the military wanted you to have a wife, they would’ve issued you one.’

We’ve all heard the saying,

have an issue? Yes, you should try it! Counseling isn’t only available when you are having a problem. Go together, or alone, but go nonetheless.

Discuss the expectations you have of your spouse and they should do the same. Talk about how you are coping with current stressors in your relationship, at work, or with your children. Knowing potential issues and discussing steps to combat them will help strengthen the communication between you.

Seek guidance from something greater than yourself

Whatever your religious beliefs are, seek guidance and wisdom from someone/ something outside of yourself. If you only listen to the thoughts in your own head, where would you be in life? Many people turn to their religious beliefs and a higher power, including programs offered for free by military chaplains. The service branches have different versions of them, including Strong Bonds through the Army.

If that is not something you believe in, try something else. There are life coaches, mentors, and other people who can help you make positive decisions.

Be honest

For any relationship to be successful, both partners must be honest, because not being forthcoming or honest in a relationship can create problems down the road. Save yourself a headache and be truthful with each other and with others. If you and your spouse prefer not to talk to friends or family about your relationship, make that clear to them in the beginning. Be clear and open with your partner. This will help build trust and create keep

your relationships foundation solid.

Make time for your relationship

Nurturing the bond between you and your partner is essential to maintaining a level of intimacy needed to keep your relationship thriving. The truth is, as a military wife you will spend a lot time in your marriage without your partner. Cherish the time you have together. Take a mini vacay to a nice hotel for a night and just unwind. You should continue to date your partner throughout your marriage.

Have friends outside of your marriage

Be friends with people other than your partner or your partner’s friends. Often, in the military spouse life, we unintentionally get befriended or

grouped with other spouses in our service member’s unit. While there is nothing wrong with that, make sure that the friendship you are entering into is a wanted one and not forced. If it is forced, over time it will cause stress which can lead to other problems in your marriage.

There are so many tools afforded to military couples to be proactive in a marriage. When you feel like you need some help, reach out. Confidential counseling is available through options like Military One Source to speak with someone over the phone [800-3429647], or to make an appointment with a Military Life Counselor in your area.

In a marriage, partners grow and change, and in order to stay on a positive path together, they must remain committed. If your commitment to one another is stronger than a condition, love will prevail.

5 Transition Tools You Need to Know

compiled by AFM Staff

DoD SkillBridge

https://dodskillbridge.com

The DoD SkillBridge initiative promotes the civilian job training authority available for transitioning military service members. Service members meeting certain qualifications can participate in civilian job and employment training, including apprenticeships and internships. Such training can take place starting up to six months prior to a service member’s separation. Additionally, the training must offer a high probability of employment and be provided to the Service member at little or no cost. Through DoD SkillBridge, tremendous potential exists for service members, companies, trade unions, and others for leveraging this new DoD authority.

There are so many tools out there for service members transitioning to civilian status, it can be hard to know where to start.

Here are a few helpful tools for those of you getting ready to make the leap:

Resume Engine

www.resumeengine.org

The Resume Engine is a service of Hiring

Our Heroes, part of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce Foundation. Users can create a free account, input their military experience, get a civilian translation of their experience so that civilian employers can understand skill set, then download a PDF of your resume and a business card to use for interviews or networking opportunities.

CareerScope

https://va.careerscope.net/gibill

The Department of Veterans Affairs’ CareerScope is a tool that measures your interests and skill levels and helps you figure out the best career path when you move into civilian life. It recommends careers you may enjoy and jobs in which you’re likely to do well. The tool also recommends courses or training programs that can help you go after

The COOL Programs (Credentialing Opportunities Online)

www.cool.army.mil, www.cool.navy.mil, www.cool.navy.mil/usmc/

These websites are operated by the various service branches. They are continuously developing products for both active and reserve component service members that define civilian credentials that best map to military MOSs. It outlines the path, work, training and experience required to achieve them.

Transition Assistance Program (TAP) Online

www.dodtap.mil/virtual_curriculum.html

In coordination with the U.S. Departments of Defense and Labor, VA provides comprehensive support through the Transition Assistance Program (TAP) to help service members and their families transition to civilian life. During TAP, you will go through Transition GPS (Goals, Plans, Success), a series of modules that help you pursue your post-service goals and develop an individual transition plan to ensure that you meet the required careerreadiness standards for separation. In VA’s portion of TAP, you’ll learn about benefits and resources like career guidance, training, counseling, and more. Your VA benefits can help you throughout your lifetime—to buy a home, further your education, stay healthy, learn new skills, protect your family, and much more. Transition GPS materials are accessible to all service members, Veterans, and their spouses at any time through the Joint Knowledge Online system.

nightmare, the one you bravely refuse to let creep into your thoughts as a military wife – it was happening.” Jake used to tell her that with their wonderful little life, every day could be Thanksgiving and every day could be Christmas because of all they’d been given. “We were rich in blessings,” she explained.

When three uniformed officers knocked on her door early the next morning, Kiley collapsed in sobs. Pregnant, a toddler at home and now a widow, “I heard myself saying over and over Jake’s name and, ‘No, no, no,’” she recalled. “I was in the fetal position, crying, thinking, ‘I can’t do this.’”

Krista

For Krista Simpson (now Anderson), it was a phone call from the company commander in Afghanistan. “It didn’t even dawn on me why he would be calling me,” she admitted. She heard the words from across the ocean as time stood still: “Michael is alive, but he is in critical condition. There was an accident; he hit an IED while riding an ATV … He is alive, but he is critical.”

When the blue star turns gold Hope after Heartache:

by T.T. Robinson

Krista hung up the phone and started making plans to get to Germany where her husband was being medevacked. She arrived in country with Mike’s parents, siblings and their spouses, and her only request was that she got to see him first. “I wanted to clean him up before his mom saw him,” she explained. “Silly, but it was all I could think of.”

Three women. Three separate knocks. Three defining moments that would irrefutably change the course of their lives. Although strangers, they are forever bound by a thread that so beautifully and tragically weaves hope throughout a designation they never wanted: the bearers of The Gold Star.

Kiley

For Kiley Frederick, a phone call came first. The second she saw the base number on Caller ID, her heart sank; she knew something was wrong.

“I answered, shakily – not recognizing my own voice. They asked me if I was home. If I could sit down. They told me Jake was leading a training mission with his wingman. His wingman was OK. Jake had to eject his aircraft. They assured me they had every reason to believe they would find Jake. That he would be OK; he was one of their best. He knew what to do, and they’d find him.”

But deep down, Kiley knew. “It seemed like more than breath had been sucked out of me,” she shared. “It felt like my world shattered instantly in one unimaginable moment. My worst

When she entered the room, she saw her big, bad Green Beret lying broken and vulnerable. “I had never felt so helpless in my life,” she admitted. “All I could manage was a whisper… ‘Dear Lord, please help us.’”

The doctors pronounced Mike brain dead and after much prayer, the medical team came in to get him for organ donation. Krista recalled, “I just kept screaming in my head, ‘I’m not ready!’ But … with as much grace as I could, I leaned down and kissed him one last time and whispered, ‘I love you all the world. I promise you I will take care of our boys, and we will always remember you.’”

Kim

For Kim Haley, it was a different type of phone call. She was at her youngest son’s football practice when a neighbor said, “Kim? Katie is on the phone and says there’s a van at your house and there’s some people there in uniform … brown uniforms.”

Kim immediately asked if they were there for her. “I told her to tell Katie (the neighbor’s daughter) to go see if they’re there for me. Katie was scared to go talk to them, and I said, ‘Oh for Pete’s sake, stay on the phone and go find out!’ So she did, and they said yes, yes, they were looking for Kim Haley. That’s me. And I knew. I knew.” She texted her son Cody, a Marine, and asked him if he was okay. “But I never got a response,” Kim said.

Cody had been killed in a training accident only a few months after Kim had welcomed him home from a deployment. “He was my first baby,” she said. “Cody was very outgoing and was not scared of anything. He was my little spit and vinegar boy.”

Hope after heartache

Three women. Three immeasurable losses. Yet each have taken their unspeakable tragedies and created beacons of light out of their darkness. Theirs are the kind of lights that don’t just brighten a room, but illuminate entire communities and towns. The kind of lights that ignite change and spark movements and kindle hope.

Red Stripe Memorial Run

Kiley has found strength through her faith, in knowing that she and the love of her life will be reunited after her time on earth is done. But while she’s still here, she knows it’s her responsibility to teach her children and the world about the selfless, loving, incredible man that Jake Frederick, call sign “Red Stripe,” truly was.

In December, Kiley partnered with The Wingman Foundation to put on the inaugural Red Stripe Memorial Run. With over 350 runners across the globe, they more than doubled their fundraising goal.

“I’m humbled to be a part of something bigger than myself, and

work to make a difference in the lives of others who will unfortunately walk my same path,” Kiley shared. “I can stand here today as a mother, as a widow, as a Gold Star Wife, and say I do have hope for my future. I loved being Jake’s wife, and a military wife. I’m unwavering in the pride I have for my husband. His sacrifice. Our country. I think of all the things I’ve been blessed with and I just keep thinking: Every day is Thanksgiving. Every day is Christmas.”

The Unquiet Professional

Krista was named the 2018 Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year, largely for her work with The Unquiet Professional, www. theunquietprofessional.org, a nonprofit she created in Mike’s honor. So much support was given to Krista and her family in the wake of Mike’s death that she needed to give back to the community. TUP provides healthy and empowering opportunities for Gold Star Families, veterans and their families. “Tragedy did not dictate my life in a negative way,” she explained. “My goal is that other people can see that, and feel that. I want other people to look at me and find hope, too.”

#DoItForCody

When 55 Marines showed up to Cody’s little brother’s football game the night before Cody’s funeral, Kim knew that she had to pay that love forward.

From sending valentines to giving out Cody keychains and sending care packages, her #DoItForCody initiative is making sure that Cody’s legacy lives on through good deeds in a million different little ways. Kim shared, “I had always thought about what I would do if I lost one of my kids. I thought I’d die, too. But I have to go on. We all do. Cody would want us to. I’m choosing joy.”

of veterans indicate their transition is more difficult than expected

48% seventy six percent of veterans agree when asked if their transition was stressful

Many veterans experience employment gaps of more than 3 months after they leave military service:

32% 34% 36% 37% 31% 52%

of veterans indicate their transition took more time than expected

57% 64%

fifty two percent agree that their transition was confusing

thirty eight percent indicate that their first civilian salary was worse than expected

Service members who attend the Transition Assistance Program more than once are 57% more likely to indicate the program was “extremely” or “very” helpful