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Contributors

Call Sign Chaos

It is not lost on me that Gen. Mattis traveled to some 19 cities in 29 days and still carved out time to sit down with us for this issue. There is a reason why he has garnered high levels of respect at a time when people agree on few things. It also reinforces that his commitment to the community transcends retirement even after more than 40 years.

About the Cover

So, imagine getting to sit in a room with a military mastermind. What would you ask? I thought of the young sergeants and lieutenants currently building a career who could benefit from someone who so intentionally thinks about leadership and values. His responses revealed a meticulous thought process behind his decision making. You may also be surprised to learn that he experienced his own stumbles along the way, before putting on the uniform to the years after — all necessary parts of learning, he says. He even laughed about a common misconception that the Marine Corps is a no-mistakes organization, to which he countered by stating he would have never gotten promoted if that was the case.

The premise of the interview was to expand on what he shared in his new book “Call Sign Chaos,” but it also seemed pertinent to allow our readers a deeper dive into how he thinks, his career progression advice and how a person with four decades of service approaches their own transition, which will include traveling the western portion of the U.S., rock climbing, and reading books that have “nothing to do with fighting.”

Bianca M. Strzalkowski Lila Quintiliani Rebekah Sanderlin Emily Marcason-Tolmie Victoria Cherrie Lizann Lightfoot Andrea Downing Peck Jessica Evans Jessica Manfre
NO IMAGE www.militaryfamilies.com 3 Letter from the Editor
Former Secretary of Defense James Mattis at the library of the Army and Navy Club in Washington D.C. He is known for a strong belief in the value of reading for professional development. Photo by Trish Alegre-Smith.

6........ Got Your Six 34.... By the Numbers

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8 Ask the Expert by Charlene Wilde 12 Prepping finances for post-military life by Lila Quintiliani, AFC®, Military Saves Program Manager 14 How one military couple cracked the code by Rebekah Sanderlin 16 The mission to hire vets by Emily Marcason-Tolmie 18 Life after deployment by Maddie Dolan
Columns
Mattis talks leadership, career progression 10
Printed in the United States. ©2019 AmeriForce Media, LLC AmeriForce Media, LLC 205 N. College Avenue, Suite 450 Bloomington, IN 47404 https://ameriforcemedia.com Army debuts enhanced night vision by Victoria Cherrie 22 Preparing your student for military retirement by Lizann Lightfoot 26 Passport Habits gives milspouse a life-after-military purpose by Andrea Downing Peck 28 To Bavaria with love by Jessica Evans 30 Retired Coast Guard officer mentors prison inmates by Jessica Manfre 4 www.militaryfamilies.com Contents

Got Your Six

more misunderstood than ever. On the other side of the militarycivilian divide, Americans’ sense of alienation has reached record-high levels, according to the Harris Poll Alienation Index.

Designed as an antidote for the isolation that many veterans face, the Team RWB app provides veterans and civilian supporters with instant access to thousands of physical, social, and service-oriented events led by volunteers throughout the country.

“As a chapter-based organization, it is important to have a platform people can access from anywhere in the country. Joining more veterans together, more often, will grow the ways we can support each other,” said Dan Brostek, chief digital officer. “Mobile and wearables will continue to play a powerful role in how we engage and enrich the lives of veterans in the months and years to come. This app was developed by veterans for veterans.”

Only 7% of the U.S. population has served in the military. Modern veterans are returning to a society that doesn’t understand their military experience and feels more unhappy, disconnected, and

Team RWB counters the effects of isolation and misunderstanding by building a bridge and welcoming all community members to join together in support of a common goal.

The
available via the App Store and
Team RWB app is
Google Play at https://www.teamrwb.org/mobile-app.
6 www.militaryfamilies.com
Team Red, White & Blue, one of the nation’s leading veterans service organizations, has launched a new mobile app to engage veterans in events and activities better than ever before, with over 7,000 downloads in its first week of release.

For protecting the freedom we love.

We honor those who served.

This Veterans Day, we honor the men and women of the U.S. Armed Forces who have put their country first and their lives on the line. Thank you for being America’s heroes. There is no greater service to our nation.

Learn more about how Verizon is giving veterans the power to go beyond at verizon.com/military.

Verizon is an equal opportunity/disability/vet employer

U.S. Air Force Veteran, Verizon Field Operations Manager

The transition from military to civilian life is a milestone you spend significant time thinking about and planning for. There are financial decisions to make, and it’s important to be prepared ahead Of time. So, where do you start?

The first step is a conversation with your spouse and family to clarify your goals. As a milspouse and veteran myself, I have faced these same issues with my family. Now as we approach my husband’s retirement, we are revisiting the following key areas to identify questions and concerns as we head into our own transition: financial readiness, employment (this should be considered for both the service member and spouse!), and social/family life.

A TRUE PARADIGM SHIFT

As you face the transition from your military career, it’s critical to remember this process is a paradigm shift requiring careful planning to ensure it proceeds smoothly. Military couples and families should approach this coming change as a unit, to consider a number of factors that will affect your lifestyle and quality of life after transition, including:

• Timing is everything. When is the right time to transition? Thinking through your finances, goals, and aspirations is a critical step to planning your transition and ensuring you are ready when the time comes.

• What’s your investment strategy? Prior to transitioning, it’s a great time to ensure you have a long-term financial strategy in place that incorporates your needs and goals. Look for a militaryfriendly financial planner in your area who is well versed in specific entitlements, pensions, and laws that affect your family’s personal situation.

• Location, location, location. Where do you want to settle down long-term?

As many military families rent over the course of the service member’s career to make PCS moves and relocations simpler, the transition may be the time you decide you are ready to buy and put down long-term roots. Take time to research areas and neighborhoods, look at the cost of living, check school systems, and civilian job opportunities. Bonus if it’s a military-friendly area!

• Civilian career goals. What type of career are you planning to pursue posttransition? Military spouses, are you planning to either go back to work or start a new job once your service member transitions?

• Check your ‘rainy day’ fund. To ensure you’re covered in the event of an ‘employment gap’ for you or your spouse, it’s a good idea to build up your savings as a back-up to bridge the gap between your postmilitary and civilian lives.

CHANGE IN DYNAMICS: THE NEW HOME FRONT

When you transition, your family dynamics are also due for a significant change and the roles between service member and spouse will take some time to re-establish. Military spouses have to get used to having their spouse participate in family decisions and sharing the responsibilities, such as finances, childcare, and others that he/she has grown accustomed to making on his/her own.

PLANNING — IT’S A FAMILY AFFAIR

Charlene Wilde is a veteran and military spouse. She is the assistant secretary of AAFMAA, our nation’s longest-standing not-for-profit military financial services provider and a contributor to SpouseLink , an online community that supports, informs and inspires military spouses.

• Do you need any new financial products? Pre-retirement is a great time to explore whether you need life insurance — switching from SGLI to a private provider — or other items, such as survivor benefits. Take time to review the details of these programs before you transition so you can get them in place ahead of time.

Perhaps the most important take-away when it comes to preparing for a successful transition to civilian life is to give yourself the time it takes to get your plans in order. Financial readiness is a process, as is reviewing additional financial products that will help you and your family adjust to civilian life and all that it brings.

Two years out from transition is a good starting point to focus on key goals for your post-military life. Also, remember, transitioning is a family affair, and the changes it brings impacts everyone. Starting the conversation is the first step to making your transition a valuable experience that can serve as a stepping stone to the next chapter of your life.

8 www.militaryfamilies.com Ask the Expert
Here are some top tips to make sure your military transition is smooth and seamless:
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Mattis talks leadership, career progression

Raised by the Vietnam generation of veterans, a Marine leader was born.

Retired Marine Gen. James Mattis grew up as a free-spirited teenager in the Pacific Northwest. In his new book, “Call Sign Chaos,” the longtime leader reveals a lessdisciplined side of himself who faced troubles with the law, often getting into fights and hitchhiking to the next adventure. During the Vietnam era, he followed his brother into the Marines, though the original plan was to complete a tour and return to civilian life.

“Well, frankly, it was in the 60s. We thought the draft would be going on when we got out of college — I wasn’t doing very well in college — so my brother was in the Marines in Vietnam, I went down and joined, just to do my patriotic tour, serve

a couple years and go back to the Northwest,” he said.

Service to country was a tradition where he came from and the Marines, specifically, had a certain appeal, but he admits there was never a conscious effort to make a lifelong career of it. Mattis says he was just enjoying what he was doing and who he was doing it with.

“There was a time when I said, yeah I’m going to stick around for a few more years, I’m really having the time of my life. This is great. It was really just the joy of serving alongside sailors and Marines. I decided at a rather young age in the Marines that I’d rather have crummy jobs at times — I grew to hate minefields and planning for breaching them, and that sort of thing — but I loved being around the kind of guys who would crawl

into minefields … and that kept me going where I thought, I think I’ll do one more tour because they want to send me to school for a year; well, coming out of there, they’re going to send me to Hawaii for a couple years, and from there I went to Newport to be at the Naval Academy Prep School where I served under a former POW from Vietnam,” he said. “The Vietnam vet generation of Marines and sailors, soldiers, airmen raised me. Those were the guys I looked up to; they were the ones who taught us our rather grim skills.”

Observing NCOs

His leadership style began to take shape as a young lieutenant under his first platoon sergeants, stating those below him impacted him as much as those above him. Like all in the military, he says, you watch who you serve underneath because so much rests on how they lead — from mission accomplishment to “your own life.”

“My first platoon sergeant was an immigrant from British West Indies, Cpl. Wayne Johnson who was properly christened ‘Cpl. John Wayne,’ and he taught me it was as important what I did and what I said in my orders as what I did not say or did not do. My next platoon sergeant, Cpl. Manuel Rivera, an immigrant with a green card from Mexico, and Cpl. Rivera was a stern person in front of his troops, but at the same time he could be seen

10 www.militaryfamilies.com Feature
Marines with 1st Marine Division say the oath of enlistment at the Nixon Presidential Library, Yorba Linda, California, September 13, 2019. Retired Gen. James Mattis officiated the reenlistment of six Marines with 1st MARDIV during a speaking engagement at the library. Photo by Sgt. Audrey M.C. Rampton.

talking to one or two who were having challenges privately out in the field — almost like a big brother,” he said.

Though Mattis’ career spanned more than four decades with high-level billets, he sees his role as a second lieutenant in the infantry as a key timeframe because there was no buffer between him and the boots on the ground.

“You’re right in the mud with them; you’re living alongside them. You’re closer to them in many ways than your own brother, knowing their hopes and dreams and plans. And at the same time, the missions that come down to you, you have to turn that into action on the ground. It was a time where you had to have physical excellence — troops wanted to see that you could run as fast as them and do as many pull-ups,” he said.

And he places great value on slowing down to know everything about the people within your command by

using three simple tactics: listening, learning, helping.

“They’re young, they make all the mistakes that we made, so you can help them on how they’re meeting the goals for themselves,” Mattis said. “As you get to understand your troops, they understand you. You’re trying to make certain they know that you care.”

Professional development

Growing up, Mattis had an affinity for fiction books, like “The Last of the Mohicans” and “Treasure Island”. The Marine Corps’ expectations for professional development reading had a profound impact on his ability to develop wartime strategies, but it was a lesson learned the hard way. Mattis smirked as he recalled being restricted to his quarters for a weekend to do a book report after his

officer discovered

his reading.

“I realized the Marine Corps

was absolutely committed to professional development and that each of us had to take responsibility for our own development,” he said.

Years later, the reading paid off, he says, as he could “see what the enemy was doing and frankly, I didn’t care how brave they were or how many there were, I was going to stick a knife in their back. It was that simple because of the reading I was required to do.”

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS FROM GEN. MATTIS

For sergeants: At Peleliu and Okinawa by E.B. Sledge

For senior officers: Defeat Into Victory by Field-Marshal Viscount Slim

In addition to the foundation reading provides, Mattis also believes in the Confucian approach of body, mind and spirit when thinking about career progression.

1. Physically you must be at the top of your game, or the troops will not respect you if you’re not as strong or fast as your strongest and fastest troops.

2. Mentally you have to be sharp; you have to be able to turn what you learned into explanation to people.

3. Spirit ually: The spirit of your troops is a weapon; build up trust, but don’t let your passion for excellence overcome your compassion for them as human beings.

“Leadership is really determined by the eyes of the people you’re leading,” Mattis added.

Read the second part of this interview with Gen. Mattis in the December issue of Military Families.

battalion executive Mattis was behind on Mattis greets soldiers from the 289th Composite Supply Company at Base Camp Donna, Texas. The 1st Cavalry Division soldiers provide showers, laundry services, fuel, water, and food to units throughout out the Task Force Griffin area of operations. Mattis spoke with soldiers across the camp about their living conditions and morale. Photo by Master Sgt. Jacob Caldwell.
www.militaryfamilies.com 11

Prepping finances for post-military life

Whether a service member is retiring after 20 years or separating after the first tour, transitioning out of the military can be tough, both mentally and financially. While each branch of the service has some form of mandated transition program, service members should not rely solely on a block of instruction to get them through this important phase. The good news is, with some preparation families can position themselves for financial success after the military.

Create a spending plan

If your family never created a spending plan before, it is more important than ever to start one now. Track expenses for a few weeks, either by keeping receipts or simply going through your bank statements with a highlighter.

Create a spending plan based on your projected future income and expenses, and then try it out for a few months before separation so that you can tweak it if you need to.

Establish a transition fund

Everyone should have a “rainy day fund.” At Military Saves, we tell people to start with a $500 emergency fund . But those who are transitioning will want to set aside enough savings to cover several months’ worth of living expenses. The money should be kept in a separate, FDIC-insured account.

Research post-military pay

If you’re going to start collecting military retirement benefits immediately, research what your pay is going to look like. Hint: it may be less than you think.

Active duty service members retiring under the High-3 plan will receive retired pay based on an average of their highest 36 months of base pay times a multiplier based on years of service. But note, that’s base pay and does not include many of the entitlements that military families are used to getting, like a housing allowance or special and incentive pays.

TIP: Check your expected retirement pay using one of the Defense Department’s military compensation calculators .

Taxes can be…taxing

Many military families are used to the unique tax advantages that military life can bring – tax free combat pay, taxation only on base pay, and the ability to pay taxes in one’s home of record rather than in the state of duty assignment. This changes when someone leaves the service.

If you live and work in a state with income taxes, you will have to pay those taxes on top of federal income tax. Some states also tax military retirement income. Before making a decision on where to live post-separation, make sure you are familiar with that state’s taxation rates and rules

Check up on health care costs

Another shocking post-separation cost involves health care. The recently released Kaiser Family Foundation 2019 Employer Health Benefits Survey found that the average civilian worker pays a whopping $6,015 per year toward their family health care coverage.

Beneficiaries entitled to military health care after separation will see a jump in out of pocket costs , while those who must obtain outside health insurance should budget a healthy amount of their income for health care costs.

Understand the SBP before deciding

If there’s one thing retiring military and their families must understand it’s that retired pay ends with the death of the service member. The Survivor Benefit Plan , an annuity that is paid for out of retiree pay, provides surviving beneficiaries with a portion of the military retirement. It’s a complicated topic, and unfortunately a decision must be made upon retirement and that decision is pretty much irrevocable. Whether it’s a wise choice depends on each individual’s situation.

Life insurance will cost more

Servicemember’s Group Life Insurance, or SGLI, and Family SGLI are inexpensive term life insurance policies that cover military members and their families. However, they are no longer available after separation, and Veterans Group Life Insurance premiums can be more expensive.

If you still require life insurance after separation (and most people do), get quotes from several insurance carriers. Some employers offer group life insurance benefits, but these generally are only in effect while employed. It may be beneficial to lock in a term rate instead.

Have a plan for your Thrift Savings Plan

Just because you are separating from the military doesn’t mean you need to take the money out of the Thrift Savings Plan. It can stay in there and benefit from years of growth and a low expense ratio until you’re ready to start making withdrawals. Plus, you can transfer outside retirement accounts into your account and vice versa.

Know where to get help if you need it

Transitioning service members don’t have to go it alone – aside from the information they will get from their branch’s transition assistance program, they can also get free help from financial counselors at their installation’s Family Service Center or Military OneSource

For more savings tips and inspiration, take the Military Saves Pledge and visit militarysaves.org.

12 www.militaryfamilies.com Money
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How one military couple cracked the code

Military life is hard. Regardless of branch, rank, MOS or experience, nearly everyone in a military family has the same greatest worry: serving the nation will cost them the health and happiness of their family. That’s why military families are always looking for the ‘secret sauce’ that will insulate their loved ones from hardship. The Bingham family seems to have found it.

Retired Army Lt. Gen. Gwen Bingham joined the military in 1981 for the ROTC scholarship. Her plan was simple: she would serve four years, get a business degree and get on with her life, leaving the Army as a camouflage blur in her rearview mirror.

“Those four years have now become 38 and some change,” Bingham laughed. “It’s hard to call it work when you love what you do.”

Instead of pursuing that business career, Bingham retired from the Army in August after serving as the assistant chief of staff for Installation Management and after earning notable firsts, including first woman to serve as the garrison commander, Fort Lee, Virginia; first AfricanAmerican woman to reach the rank of three-star general from an Army ROTC program; first woman to serve as quartermaster general and commandant at the U.S. Army Quartermaster School, Fort Lee,

Virginia; first woman to serve as commanding general, White Sands Missile Range, New Mexico; and first woman to serve as commanding general, Tank Automotive and Armaments Lifecycle Management, Warren, Michigan.

But her family is just as impressive as her career. For 36 of those 38 years, she has been married to Dr. Patrick Bingham, a teacher, principal and school administrator — though she just calls him “P.J.”. And Patrick Bingham isn’t even the only doctor in the family. Their daughter, Tava, also earned a PhD in education and their son, Phillip, is an engineer.

The couple met at Fort Lewis, Washington, when they were both lieutenants. Also a military brat, Patrick Bingham served 10 years in the Army, deploying to Desert Shield/Desert Storm before getting out and becoming a teacher. For anyone counting, the Binghams have nearly half a century of service between them, and a pretty great love story to boot.

“We met and he proposed after just 10 days of dating,” Gwen Bingham said. “Our daughter loves to hear that story but when I tell it to her, I say, ‘Don’t do this! The odds are not in your favor!’ But when I think about my husband, my own spouse, this is why I have so

much affection for all of our military spouses. There is no way I could have achieved what I achieved without my spouse. It would have been a physical impossibility.”

She says her husband’s background as a soldier made it easier for him to understand the demands she faced and made it easier for them to communicate. (Spoiler alert: they both said clear, constant, communication is the ‘secret sauce’.)

“He really does have a unique perspective as a male spouse,” Gwen Bingham said. “I think that’s part of the reason we’ve been successful as a couple. He fully understands the lifestyle. He’s been able to help me with situations that I had not been exposed to and that he had. I tell him, we will always be better together than apart. We complement each other and we bring that to our relationship.”

But 38 years of military service, overlapping with a decade of dual military service and with our nation’s longest war, means the Binghams’ gains did not come without great family sacrifices. Together, they navigated tricky role reversals, tough decisions and deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq. They also opted to live apart “geo-bach” in military parlance — three separate times so Patrick Bingham could pursue his career as a school teacher and administrator and so their children could stay in the same neighborhoods and schools.

Army Lt. Gen. Gwen Bingham spoke at the reopening of the Army Women’s Museum in 2018 about women who have previously served. Photo by Spc. Victoria Piccoli. The Bingham family. Submitted photo.
14 www.militaryfamilies.com Transition

“The first year I started teaching, Gwen was deployed to Guantanamo,” Patrick Bingham said. “I had to be the spouse at home, our roles were flipflopped. I had to quickly learn how to find a hairdresser for our daughter and learn how not to dress a child. And I really had to connect with the children.”

Gwen Bingham added, “When I went unaccompanied for a year to Korea, the kids were 10 and 13. I was able to come home once to visit over the holidays, but when I came back, I felt very much that I had been written out of the script. I always prided myself on being “hub central.” Well, hub central had been gone for a year and they had moved on. I had to ‘win’ my way back into my family.”

She worried that her kids would resent her for not being at every game and recital. But, when Tava was a teenager, she visited her mother at work one day, saw her in her element, and said, ‘Mom, you ought to try to stay in and make general.’

“It brought tears to my eyes,” Gwen Bingham said. “She had developed pride in me and understood what I was doing. The things I am most proud of are being a soldier, a wife and a mother. I was a soldier before I was a wife, and I was a wife before I was a mother. I am very proud that I served my country. I’m very proud to be the wife of Patrick Bingham, and I am very proud to be the mother of Tava and Phillip.”

Tava probably wasn’t thinking then about the challenges her mother would face in that effort, as an African-American woman going for three stars, but to be fair, Gwen Bingham wasn’t thinking about those things, either.

“In leadership meetings, sometimes I’d look around the table and there

wouldn’t be any other women, but I tend to embrace that as a positive challenge. I’m not just representing Gwen Bingham; I’m representing everyone who looks like me.”

She’s seen many opportunities open up for women during her military career, including all MOSs in the Army — even the infantry. The changes are inspiring and she loves hearing about women doing great

things, but she’s just as quick to praise the men who also helped bring about the changes.

“We women need foundational support, not just from other women, but also from men. There were so many people who poured into me and invested in me. Life would have been very different for me without the support of the men and women around me,” she said.

Your oral health matters

Your oral health plays a big role in your quality of life. Regular dental care is critical to your overall health and shouldn’t cost you anything. That’s why preventive care 100% covered under the Veterans Affairs Dental Insurance Program (VADIP) from Delta Dental.

Enjoy affordable dental care

Veterans enrolled in VA healthcare and eligible CHAMPVA beneficiaries can choose from three Delta Dental VADIP plan options to meet your needs and get access to our large network of dentists nationwide.

Enroll at any time during the year. Visit deltadentalins.com/vadip and take charge of your oral health today!

Delta Dental’s Veterans Affairs Dental Insurance Program (VADIP) is administered by the Federal Government Programs division of Delta Dental of California through its subsidiary Delta Dental Insurance Company (DDIC).
www.militaryfamilies.com 15

The mission to hire vets

The push in recent years to move the needle on veteran employment enabled U.S. employers to gain a greater understanding of translatable skills from military service. Veterans are armed with resiliency, adaptability and the ability to learn quickly, along with a host of proficiencies based on their military occupational specialty. In a pivot from previous trends, companies — large and small — now seek military-affiliated job seekers through proactive recruiting tactics because of the known value these candidates add to the workforce.

Wanted: Veterans

Evan Guzman is a chief veteran advocate and senior vice president of strategic military engagement at AliroVets, a dedicated referral network for the military community. He is a nationallyrecognized leader with over two decades of experience in strategic talent acquisition, corporate development, employment marketing and branding.

“I realized early on that veterans face a lot of challenges when seeking employment. I made it my mission to help veterans get a fulfilling job,” Guzman said. “I love my country and I want to pay it forward to those who served. That’s why I’m a champion for veteran employment.”

USAA has hired roughly 15,000 veterans since 2005, like Gibby Hernandez, a member solutions relationship specialist.

who served and continue serving in the military.

“I came to USAA because I wanted the opportunity to provide the same world-class service that I was given as an 18-year old soldier in Iraq. It’s important to me to serve my fellow brothers and sisters in arms,” he said.

Veterans employing themselves and others

Guzman is the former global head of Military Programs and Engagement for Verizon, where he successfully navigated the creation, development, implementation and oversight of Verizon’s military engagement program and national branding efforts.

… There’s an appetite among companies to hire veterans. Companies don’t need a big budget to accomplish this, but it takes commitment, sweat and effort,” he said.

Nearly 250,000 service members separate annually from the U.S. military, according to Marcus Ohlenforst, a talent programs advisor at USAA. His company has hired approximately 15,000 veterans and military spouses since 2005, and continues to strive towards having 25% of their workforce from this demographic.

“USAA is committed to being an industry leader with its financial products and services, and that same commitment extends to helping service members and their families successfully transition from military to civilian life,” Ohlenforst said.

Gibby Hernandez, a member solutions relationship specialist at USAA, wanted to remain connected to those

After service ends, veterans are also choosing to launch their own ventures as an alternative postmilitary career solution. Statistics compiled by the U.S. Small Business Administration’s Office of Advocacy confirm more than 2.5 million businesses are majority owned by veterans, which is about 9.1% of all U.S.-owned businesses. More than 400,000 of those veteran-owned businesses employ others.

Ryan Davis deployed to Iraq in 2003. After he separated from the Marine Corps, he joined the police force in Troy, New York. He spent his evenings assembling American wood flags with fellow Marine Anthony Guadagnino. By 2015, this morphed into Veteran Made Woodworks , a thriving business now employing six and offering laser engraving, challenge coin holders and rustic furniture.

The Veteran Compost team is focused on employing veterans and their family members, and turning food scraps into high-quality compost.
16 www.militaryfamilies.com Career
Continued on page 25

Named a Best College by Military Times for 9 consecutive years, 2011 – 2019

Recognized among Military Friendly Schools for 9 consecutive years, 2011 – 2019

Named among the top military-friendly colleges and universities, 2008 – 2018

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Life after deployment

What happens beyond the “happily ever after” of military love stories?

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a carousel of blissful homecoming photos. But what many people don’t talk about is the reintegration of a service member returning home.

Meet the Benkos

Staff Sgt. (select) Alex Benko and his wife, Samantha, were married on July 29, 2017. In the honeymoon years of their marriage, Alex Benko deployed to the Middle East as a combat controller. At home at Cannon Air Force Base, New Mexico, Samantha Benko created a new normal by establishing herself as a virtual health and wellness coach. When Alex Benko returned six months later, his wife had established a new routine and identity.

Through all the excitement of him returning, though, it was easy for them to overlook that they would

have to merge new patterns they created while apart.

“You go through just being so excited that they’re finally home, and it almost feels surreal because you spend half a year or more looking forward to that day, and it’s finally here,” Samantha Benko explained. “It’s almost like you’re so excited to see them, but then real life just steps back in. … It’s almost like a letdown when it has to go back to real-life so quickly.”

The couple attributes their success of reintegrating back together to being supportive of each other growing as individuals outside of their marriage. Alex Benko especially likes that his spouse found a purpose beyond their relationship, especially since she gave up teaching third grade in order to be with him.

“That kind of helped her grow as an individual even while I was gone, and now she’s still continuing to grow in that, which is super great to

see. … Discovering that throughout deployment has kind of helped her, especially, realize that she can still be very much fulfilled while I’m gone,” Alex Benko said.

The staff sergeant is often gone from home because his job requires travel for training. Therefore, his erratic home-life schedule is something they have accepted as normal, even if their definition of it doesn’t match others.

“I think normal is what you want it to be,” Alex Benko explained. “We strive for certain things in our marriage. We strive to communicate so when we’re not communicating, that’s abnormal for us. We strive to spend time together, to grow in one way or another. And that is normal for us. So, when we’re not growing, when we’re not progressing on in our relationship with each other, our relationship with God, that’s not normal for us.”

Yet in their own sense of normal, they have needed to spend time learning how to function as one. Among many things, Samantha Benko says she has adjusted to not having the house organized and cleaned to exactly her standards, and has needed to accept that there are more groceries to buy and loads of laundry to do. Ultimately, they needed to synthesize their lives again.

“Being separated for six months and being pretty independent people even when we are together, we have a hard time talking about finances and budget, because he was gone for six months and we just kind of did our own thing,” Samantha Benko added. “So that was definitely him coming back home and realizing OK, we’re a team on this. This isn’t I do what I want, you do what you want.”

Alex Benko admits the hardest part of reintegrating after deployment is learning how to be married again.

The Benkos reunite after a recent deployment. Photo by Elizabeth McDowell Photography
18 www.militaryfamilies.com Reintegration

Transforming a marriage

Military and first responder clinical consultant Corie Weathers, who is also a military spouse and host of the Lifegiver Podcast, states that the hardest part of reintegration for military couples is the merging of new patterns.

“It’s almost like when you carve into wood a circle, right?” Weathers said. “The more you’re going around in that circle, the deeper the groove gets. And you don’t even realize that’s what you’re doing. The longer the deployment, the deeper that groove gets.”

As unromantic as it may be, Weathers suggests couples do their own version of a mission brief. In much the same way that troops prepare for deployment, couples should have a sit-down about the reverse in coming home.

“We need to apply that to marriages, too, and not think that we are going to cause conflict or hurt each other’s feelings because things have changed,” she said. “So just sitting down and communicating to each other, and go ‘here’s what’s new, here’s what’s different, here’s how I’m different.’ … If we can proactively have that conversation, then when it happens, we’re less likely to have conflict.”

The Benko’s success in transforming their independent circles into an infinity circle is through communication. Every Sunday, they ask each other four questions in order to set up realistic expectations of each other.

“Expectation management is everything,” Alex Benko said. “It’s not just realizing that it’s going to be awesome all the time. It’ll be awesome, but not all the time. And you will have troubles going through your goals, or your two-year goals. Expecting that and realizing that is super key so you don’t end up just getting super frustrated with each other.”

Weathers doesn’t think people should dismiss the honeymoon period of a homecoming. She says to enjoy it, embrace the emotions of it and spend time to reconnect. But when the newness and excitement starts to fade away, it’s important to set each other up for success and future wins in their relationship.

“It’s just communicating three things that you need your spouse to know

so that they can get it right with you,” Weathers said.

She adds that people shouldn’t be afraid to get help in communicating, whether it is with a chaplain or counselor, or using a journal to prompt conversation. She adds that couples should know that the counseling through TRICARE does not require a referral, and the spouse can use their name for confidentiality.

We protect your smile

As a military retiree, you now have choices in your dental coverage through the Federal Employees Vision and Dental Insurance Program (FEDVIP). Delta Dental has proudly provided dental coverage to the military retiree community for the last 20 years and is proud to offer you choices in FEDVIP.

Choose Delta Dental Here’s why:

• Choose from two high-quality, affordable plans designed to meet your needs.

• Preventive care shouldn’t cost you anything, that’s why it’s 100% covered when you visit a FEDVIP network dentist.

• Chances are, your dentist is already a part of our large, nationwide FEDVIP network. Learn more at deltadentalins.com/fedvip/tricare

Federal Employees Dental Program is administered by the Federal Government Programs division of Delta Dental of California through its subsidiary Delta Dental Insurance Company (DDIC).

www.militaryfamilies.com 19

Army debuts enhanced night vision

In a pitch-black room full of smoke, Marine Sgt. John Finley can still see everything in his path. Equipped with the Enhanced Night Vision Goggle-Binocular, he can even fire his M-4 combat rifle at a target from a covered or concealed position without being exposed to the enemy.

“This is game changing,” he said during a recent demonstration by the Army Futures Command’s Soldier Lethality Cross Functional Team and Program Executive Office Soldier at the 1st Infantry Division in Fort Riley, Kansas.

Finley is among the first Marines and Fort Riley soldiers to test and train with the ENVG-B, the Army’s newest, most advanced night vision goggle designed to increase lethality, situational awareness and mobility during combat in any environment.

“This is historical,” Sgt. Maj. of the Army Michael Grinston said during a media roundtable. “We’re giving the squad all the tools they need to

go out and do the things the nation has asked them to do and we’re increasing their survivability and lethality.”

The ENVG-B is the first day/night capable heads-up display for the dismounted maneuver force. It’s a fused display comprised of image intensifier and thermal imagery in a

binocular design, offering improved depth perception and clearer images than previous night vision goggles.

This innovative technology was designed in collaboration with multiple military agencies over two years with feedback from soldiers who tested the equipment.

“We want equipment that is designed by soldiers for soldiers,” said Brig. Gen. Anthony Potts, head of PEO Soldier. “What’s most important is, does the soldier really love the equipment? Does it make them more lethal on the battlefield? Is this the equipment they choose to take out of the arms room and go fight with as necessary?”

For Sgt. 1st Class Brion Baker, the answer is yes.

He said the ENVG-B is far and above any equipment he used during four tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan over the past 16 years.

The ENVG-B is not only lighter — weighing less than 2.5 pounds — it takes fewer batteries to operate and has a digital magnetic compass built

20 www.militaryfamilies.com Technology

into its system.

“This means instead of having to look down at a map, I can just put on my goggle, select a point and go,” said Baker, SL-CFT’s technical adviser.

Everything seen through the new binocular is also clearer and more defined, he said.

“Not only do I see the enhanced site, I can more quickly identify threats and targets,” Baker said.

Wireless technology connects the ENVG-B with the combat rifle, which has a toggle switch allowing the soldier to choose which system he or she needs depending on the conditions or combat situation.

“Through training, managing the toggle becomes second nature, much like driving a standard transmission,” said Maj. John Nikiforakis, assistant product manager for PEO Soldier.

The system also includes augmented reality features from the Nett Warrior display and wireless interconnectivity with the Family of Weapon Sight-Individual, displaying the weapon site in the ENVG-B, allowing soldiers to accurately engage without shouldering the weapon and significantly reducing exposure to enemy fire.

“When we talk about lethality, we’re talking about the ability to identify a target and engage. How many seconds can you take out of that engagement?” Potts said. “That makes a soldier far more lethal than anything they’ve done before and we’re going to continue to grow this capability out so that we really treat the soldier as an integrated weapons platform.”

mi s sion of s e rving our nation by honoring our de f enders, W h ether building specially adapted smart homes for wounded families, l i f ting spirits at home and abroad wit h a live concert put on by Gary S inise and the Lt. Dan B and, or brin g in g WW I I veteran s to the National WWII Museum in New Or l eans, the Gary Sinise F o undati o n serves America’s h eroes and their loved ones with a host o f year-round programming .

www.militaryfamilies.com 21
G A RYS INI S E F O U NDATION O R G C M Y CM MY CY CMY K GSF-FDLB_Dinner_Program4.6x7.2in_2019.pdf 1 8/27/19 10:07 PM

Preparing your student for military retirement

When a military member retires from service, it is likely that a military child is leaving the only way of life they have ever known. And while much effort is placed on preparing transitioning veterans for the process to civilian life, there is much less discussion about how other family members should prepare — particularly military children.

Children experiencing a military retirement typically move at least once more. For some students, this may seem like just another PCS move and new school, but retirement adds an additional layer of complication for students and their parents.

Stacy Huisman and Amanda Trimillos, authors of the book “Seasons of My Military Student,” tell us more about the rights of military students, and how they may be impacted by the service member’s retirement.

Know your military student’s rights

All military students are protected by the Military Interstate Children’s Compact Commission (MIC3) Parents may have referred to this document during previous PCS moves to protect the rights of a child with special needs or to ensure a student retains grade level when making a mid-year move. Huisman and Trimillos write extensively about the Compact in their book and describe how it protects military families.

After military retirement, the Compact protects students for an additional 12 months. Trimillos explains why this is important for families preparing for retirement.

“Families don’t always move directly to their ‘forever home.’ If the family moves once immediately after retirement, then moves again when finding jobs, the students are covered for 12 months. However, the school may push back because

the second move isn’t a military move. Sometimes people think they are no longer covered because they are no longer military.”

Prepare to enter civilian school systems

Many military students have always lived near a military base and attended schools with a high military population. Retirement may be their first exposure to a completely civilian school system lacking an understanding of military life. This is especially challenging for older students, since by retirement many kids are already high school or college age.

When schools haven’t heard of the Interstate Compact, administrators may be more likely to deny family requests, ask students to repeat classes, or even insist that they can’t graduate on time. This can be particularly difficult when transferring between schools on a trimester and a quarterly grading system, or to a school that expects end-of-course exams. Huisman emphasizes, “The entire system has put the responsibility on the parents to be the advocates for their children. Parents need to know more about where they are going than the people taking the admissions.”

An important resource for families is the school liaison officer. Theresa Goodwin, a Child and Youth Education Specialist-School Liaison with over 20 years of experience working with military children, says the SLO can provide “a wide variety of information relating to Pre-K –12th grade, any type of educational outreach or resources for military connected children.”

Although civilian schools won’t have a SLO, families can use one for

22 www.militaryfamilies.com Children’s Corner

the district they are leaving or the state they are moving to.

Goodwin adds, “Contacting the local school liaison where you reside is the best option. If you are thinking of moving, they can put you in contact with the SLO in that area because they will have the most local and up to date information.”

Huisman recommends printing up two copies of the Interstate Compact, highlighting sections that pertain to your student, then giving a copy to school administrators. If administrators say no, it’s important for families to stand their ground.

Trimillos recommends being persistent when moving to a civilian school. “If the administration isn’t cooperating, advance it to the SLO.” Goodwin confirms that “The school liaison is critical when it comes to military connected students especially in a transition period.”

If problems persist, Trimillos reminds families to reach out to the district office.

“You just need to find the person with the right authority. The principal may not have authority to open testing windows, waive classes, allow extensions, etc. The district superintendent should know about the Interstate Compact and can give authorization to the principal.”

Prepare your student for social adjustment

One consideration many families forget when preparing for retirement is that civilian life will be a huge adjustment for a military child. Not only will they be at a civilian school without other military kids around, but they will likely be the only “new kid” among students who have been together for years.

babiesonthehomefront.org

Trimillos says leaving the military community can cause an identity crisis for a military student, and they may struggle to adapt.

“Start the conversation early about what it means for our family if we are no longer a military family. Parents need to work with the school to determine how to break into the new school and how to support the child,” she said.

Goodwin adds that even though military kids are resilient, they still need support during transitions, especially a huge change such as retirement.

“Keep their routine as normal as possible, get them involved as soon as possible and plug them in. Get them a youth sponsor, because sponsorship with a peer is critical,” she said.

our free

Military kids also struggle with the end of PCS moves and the sudden permanence of civilian life. In military schools, they may have coped with social challenges by biding their time until either they moved or other classmates moved.

Huisman says, “It can be difficult when the kids are no longer moving and actually have to stop re-inventing themselves and start dealing with the cliques and the groups.”

If your service member is preparing for retirement, remember that the lifestyle change will affect your children too. Even if you have moved and changed schools before, begin preparing far in advance and asking questions about the receiving school district. The more informed parents are before a move, the more they can assist their military child.

www.militaryfamilies.com 23
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of wireless service to help make telehealth services more accessible to veterans. The VAN regularly host community events around the country, partnering with Team Rubicon to connect veterans with volunteer opportunities and FourBlock to assist with post-service job transition.

Serving SERVE

those who

Though I’m not a military veteran, I am a proud ally, and being the co-sponsor for T-Mobile’s Veterans & Allies Network has been one of the greatest honors of my life. I’ve had the opportunity to stand side by side with our more than 7,000 T-Mobile employees who are involved with VAN — folks who, like me, care deeply about our brave military members and the issues that impact them.

Participating in VAN has been an eye-opening experience, allowing me to understand the true meaning of sacrifice. For millions of active and veteran soldiers — including the thousands who work at T-Mobile — sacrifice is a defining characteristic of their lives. It means putting duty, responsibility and community before individual needs. It means exposing themselves to risk and danger for the common good.

It means spending months or even years far away from family. It means being a servant leader. Which is why it makes sense that so many of T-Mobile’s military employees work the frontlines of Customer Care and Retail – they want to take care of others!

These are the reasons T-Mobile continues to do everything we can to support this group of heroes as both our employees and our customers. And we’ve been designated a military-friendly company because we take this responsibility seriously. Here’s how.

Because 50% of veterans will experience unemployment within 15 months after their service , T-Mobile has pledged to hire 10,000 military veterans and their spouses by 2023. We partnered with the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs to provide 70,000 lines

When it comes to our military customers, T-Mobile launched special rates for soldiers, veterans and their families called the Magenta Military and Magenta Plus Military plans, which offer the biggest discount in wireless for military families. The first line of Magenta Military is 20% off our popular Magenta rate plan and half off up to five additional voice lines; plus, taxes and fees are included. Magenta Military comes with all the incredible value of our Magenta plan, plus our industryleading travel benefits that help keep families connected at home and abroad.

And last year the Un-carrier announced it would invest more than $500 million in 2018 alone to expand LTE coverage and capacity, and lay the foundation for 5G in communities around U.S. military bases.

My time alongside my military colleagues has helped me understand their lives a little better. I can tell you that taking their example of selfless service to heart makes me a better person — just like it makes T-Mobile a better company. We strive to serve our customers with the same selflessness our military teammates serve our country with, and we strive to serve our employees with the same trust in teamwork that makes the U.S. Armed Forces such a tightly run ship. It’s a lot to live up to, but we believe it’s right. And just like our military friends, we won’t settle for anything less.

24 www.militaryfamilies.com Advertisement

Continued from page 16

“When we first started out, we would literally work out of a garage and a basement making two to three flags over two weeks,” Davis said. “We’ve been able to streamline our process to be able to make lots of 50 in one week now.”

Master Sgt. Robert Hicks works with Guadagnino by day as his supervisor at a military recruiting center. Three years ago, he joined the Veteran Made Woodworks team and is now known in the shop as being the quality control guy.

“Being in the military for over 18 years, I have established a strong brotherhood with many great soldiers and leaders. So, it was a no brainer to become part of the Veteran Made team,” he said.

Veteran Made Woodworks is different from other woodworking businesses for two distinct reasons: patriotism and passion.

“It means a lot to our customers that we are veterans and still serving,” Guadagnino, who transitioned from the Marines to New York Army National Guard, said. “We construct our flags in the same way that we approach the military. In the infantry we do the rustic approach, which means we may be a little rough around the edges. Creating the American flag from scratch, from pieces of wood into something amazing, is something we take immense pride in.”

Justen Garrity founded Veteran Compost , a Maryland-based veteran owned business turning organic waste into compost.

“It’s nice to do purposeful work. Even though the work is tough and dirty, every piece of food waste kept out of the landfill is a win for the planet,” he said.

Since 2010 he has grown the company from himself to 20 employees.

“We pay a living wage, offer a 401k match and have dental insurance. So, as we’ve grown we’ve tried to improve the benefits of working here and hope to do more in the future,” he said. “In the military you learn to take care of the people that you work with, and it’s the same here.”

Garrity adds his military service impacts him every day as an entrepreneur.

“When you are in the military you learn that even if you are short on time, manpower and resources — you still have to accomplish the mission,” Garrity said. “So, we do what it takes every day to accomplish our mission with our business.”

Career

Passport Habits gives milspouse a life-after-military purpose

Step inside Passport Habits in the seaside city of Ventura, California, and you’ll be convinced brick-and-mortar retail is here to stay. The global home décor shop, with its unanimous five-star social media ratings, is a shopper’s paradise filled with Michelle Ramirez’s unique finds from across the globe.

The store has its roots in another sandy enclave — Naval Support Activity Bahrain, where Ramirez and her Navy pilot husband, Anthony,

spent the final two years of his 20year military career. The island off of Saudi Arabia became Ramirez’s launching point for travel as she and her two children used the Patriot Express — better known as the “rotator” — to hopscotch from Bahrain to exotic locales such as Morocco, Greece, Azores, Maldives and Thailand.

“As we were traveling, I would see these amazing things,” said Ramirez, who first caught the travel bug while working as a flight attendant.

“I thought, ‘Wow. It would be neat to stay in touch with these artisans and when we move back to the States open a store.’ I made a lot of contacts while traveling and the store started growing in my mind.”

Run-of-the-mill souvenirs never intrigued Ramirez. Her goal while traveling was to connect personally with the craftsmen who made the Persian rugs, leather goods and textiles she was buying and to understand the experiences that fueled their designs.

By the time the family “retired” to California in 2015, Ramirez had a fledgling inventory and a burning desire to share with her new community the artisans and cultures she had embraced during her travels. Less clear was how she

26 www.militaryfamilies.com Spouse’s Corner

would turn that desire into reality in Ventura, the coastal town the family had discovered years earlier when stationed at Point Mugu Naval Air Station.

Six months after moving to Ventura, Ramirez jumped at the opportunity to lease a storefront outside of the main downtown.

“When the location opened up, I thought this was what I was meant to do,” she said. “I’m such a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.”

Ramirez’s instincts told her the right brick-and-mortar store could flourish in the Amazon era.

“It was a huge leap of faith, honestly,” Ramirez admitted. “The business grew via word of mouth and perseverance. And I knew I had to do something that was totally different than what anyone else was doing and provide products that were different. Based on all our travels, I knew this was different. It might be too different, but I thought it would work.”

Within a year, Passport Habits outgrew its space and relocated to E. Main Street. At its downtown location, Ramirez says Passport Habits’ inventory has evolved into a “beautiful curation of the Passport Habits woman, who loves her family and loves travel, cultures and textiles. It morphed into what it is today.”

The “wow”-filled store overflows with vivid Persian and tribal rugs, leather travel goods, color-laden pillows and other home accessories as well as personal items such as jewelry, scarves, shoes and handbags. At any time, as many as 20 countries may be represented, with a handful of Southern California craftsmen

added to the mix.

“It’s a neat combination,” said Ramirez, who discovers new treasures during sourcing trips to the Middle East and Southeast Asia. “You’ll never know what you’ll get when you walk in the door, which is part of the fun, too.”

Her own designs — a popular travel backpack, “Wonderer” bandana embossed with Ramirez’s handwritten travel mantras, a swimsuit coverup and jewelry — are sprinkled throughout the shop.

Ramirez credits the seven-year-run of her stay-at-home mom jewelrydesign business for providing the foundation for this bigger venture.

“I’m definitely self-taught as far as business goes,” she said. “I make mistakes, but I always hear my dad

in my head saying, ‘Did you learn anything?’ There are so many books and websites, you can learn on your own. Then there are just some things you have to learn by doing. By making mistakes and not getting crushed by them.”

Until this year, Instagram was the store’s main online presence, but now customers can purchase Ramirez’s unique treasures at PassportHabits.com, where she also explains how her love for Persian rugs was ignited and journals about travel and design.

Wanderlust has brought Ramirez full circle.

“I don’t look at this as a job,” she said. “It’s sharing my love of the world with everyone and helping these artisans to be seen and heard and their products to be sold.”

www.militaryfamilies.com 27

TO BAVARIA WITH LOVE

In March, my husband and I will be heading back to the U.S. after two-and-a-half years in beautiful Bavaria. We’ve been living in a town that celebrated its 800th birthday last year and boasts being the co-home of a local, regional beer called zoigl. Our city’s name translates to New City on the Waldnaab, and sits in a valley between family farms and pastures. We have little industry here, but our town of 12,000 is home to some of the most beautiful crystal that’s produced in Germany.

Now, as we’re preparing to PCS again, I’m preemptively nostalgic for so much that Bavaria has offered us. Here are the top things I’m going to really pine for once we’ve moved on to our next installation.

Everything is closed on Sunday

Having traveled in Europe, we knew to expect that everything would be closed on Sunday. What we didn’t expect was how magnificent it is when the world forces a reset. Sundays used to be all about scrambling to get last-minute errands and chores completed for the week

ahead. Since we’ve lived here, Sunday has become a real day of rest.

Local, sustainable food and strong sustainability community

For the first time in my life, I have access to raw milk, fresh cheeses, and organic pasture-raised meats and poultry. Even better, I don’t have to go out of my way to find these products. They’re all grown and processed right here in my area.

Food shopping is different here, too. The only fruits and vegetables available are whatever is in season. Not only does this reduce carbon footprints by lessening the distance from where food is grown, but it also helps me create meals that are fresh and in season. The result has been a more elegant approach to my meal planning efforts, which has resulted in lots of fun new recipe creation.

Lush forests and mountains

The air here is so clean, partly because Germany is basically a massive forest. We’re fortunate enough to live right next to a bike path that stretches all throughout the Oberpfalz and most Sundays, we’ve taken advantage of a leisure forest stroll. The most amazing part about these walks is that we invariably end up discovering something new about our town and area. Germans love cycling, and the trails are always well populated and very safe. The Bavarian Alps are close enough for day trips and offer so much to do both in winter and in summer.

Fests

Living in Bavaria wouldn’t be complete without a robust

experience of fests. Sure, there’s beer and bratwurst, but these events are so much more than that. They’re truly a time for the community to come together. Our town recently hosted its annual Harvest Fest, where vendors from all over the region converged to sell products made with materials found in the area. Talk about shopping local. We found an elegant wreath made from local grasses and a candle holder made with clay from a local quarry. These are artisan keepsakes for sure, but they’re also reflective of the broader culture in which we’re immersed – one that’s built on traditional practices and sustainable economies.

Bavaria is beautiful, and unlike any other place in Germany. It’s small, safe, and has a quaintness that’s hard to find elsewhere. Part of the uniqueness of this region is that Bavarians love everything Bavarian. The traditional dirndl and lederhosen that so many of us associate with Germans are in fact traditional Bavarian clothes. Taking time to stop and breathe – literally –is engrained in the Bavarian culture, and this approach is one we plan to incorporate into our lives no matter where the Army takes us.

28 www.militaryfamilies.com
Bavarian culture encourages sustainable living practices with a focus on local products.

Military company employs military spouses to ensure continued growth

PRESENTED BY SANDBOXX

With unemployment rates hitting recent lows, companies are at war for top talent. Sandboxx, a military tech startup founded by two Marine veterans, has turned to hiring military spouses from across the nation to help fuel their continued growth.

Sandboxx supports service members and their supporters throughout their military journey via content, technology, and products enabling the military ecosystem to thrive. The company became known through their letters’ platform, which makes it easy for family members to send physical mail and photos overnight to recruits at basic training.

This October, Sandboxx was inducted into the Department of Defense’s Military Spouse Employment Partnership program. MSEP connects military spouses to hundreds of partner employers who are dedicated to recruiting, hiring, promoting and retaining military spouses. Nationwide, only 400 companies have been accepted into the partnership since its inception in 2011.

“It means a lot to be recognized by the MSEP program and to be

able to get our open positions in front of so many more military spouses,” explained Shane McCarthy, Sandboxx chief marketing officer. “Military spouses have made a huge contribution to the culture and success of Sandboxx by being focused, passionate and ambitious. As employers, we could not ask for more from a group of team members.”

The induction comes at a time when Sandboxx is smartly scaling in a competitive Washington, D.C. marketplace — where other giants like Amazon are opening shop — by dipping into the military spouse talent pool. As tech titans begin to dominate the D.C. work scene, Sandboxx is onboarding highly-skilled military spouses across the country.

“Our recent growth has been powered by working with the military Exchanges, another group of organizations that provide great benefits to military families,” explained Sam Meek, Sandboxx co-founder and chief executive officer. “We have over 1 million service members and supporters who now use Sandboxx and we want to ensure we continue to hire the best possible talent to continue this growth trajectory.”

When considering that up to 24% of military spouses face unemployment at any given time, it’s a natural fit for Sandboxx to incorporate one of its ideal users into the work culture. The company currently employs 19 military spouses. While half of the employees work in D.C., all military spouses work remotely to ensure minimal disruption when inevitable Permanent Change of Station orders come around.

By employing military spouses, it also allows Sandboxx to keep a pulse on real-time military lifestyle issues and culture to better relate to users. It gives spouses a chance to connect face-toface with users, providing a unique and memorable customer experience.

“The mission behind Sandboxx is why I first applied, but it is great to work for a company that understands the unique struggles of military families,’’ explained Nicole Utt, Sandboxx’s content manager and whose husband is a Marine Corps officer stationed at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. “It is important that I can support my husband as he serves our country, while not having to put my career on hold.”

Sandboxx is actively hiring for writers, email marketing rock stars and growth marketers.

Nicole Utt, Sandboxx’s content manager, participates in a Jane Wayne Day at Camp Lejeune. Submitted photo.
www.militaryfamilies.com 29 Sandboxx

Retired Coast Guard officer mentors prison inmates

garner respect and interest. After that he shared with them the story of his more than three decades in the Coast Guard and that part of what he did included chasing drug runners and putting handcuffs on them. He also revealed his experience taught him how cocaine is grown and distributed, but that he knew nothing about what it was like to be on the other end of it. Then, he asked them to tell him what it’s like to be an addict; what it feels like and what kind of life addiction has led them to.

“They broke my heart. I’ve learned more about the human condition in the last two-and-a-half years in that prison than in the last 62 years of my life,” he said.

As a volunteer for the Heroin Addiction Recovery Program of Chesterfield County Jail, Lee has mentored hundreds of inmates, many whose stories began with an injury and a legal prescription.

Retirement after 36 years in the Coast Guard looked a lot like fishing, maybe some teaching, and doing something to give back to his community for Vice Adm. William “Dean” Lee. When he envisioned what the service to the community would be, he imagined cutting grass at the church.

“Going to jail was nowhere on my desired list of things to do,” said Lee. “I wish I could say I planned it that way, but that would look far more noble than it actually was. The fact of the matter is, I was led to it.”

Before he realized what was happening, he was following his friend, the Sheriff of Richmond, Virginia, into a prison. Two and a half years later he is still going inside that prison every week to mentor those addicted to opioids and hoping to change their lives for the better.

Lee

when he entered that prison pod, he was intimidated for the first time in his life. He decided then to just talk to the inmates and openly admit his nervousness. This honest response appeared to

“After that ran out, the cheap and easy button became heroin. They didn’t choose to become addicts, many of them never had a chance. They were either addicted by physicians, or just born to lose,” he said.

Retired Coast Guard Vice Adm. William “Dean” Lee. Submitted photo. Lee with inmates from Chesterfield County Jail. Submitted photo. explained
30 www.militaryfamilies.com Off Duty

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention , 134 Americans died every day in 2017 from an opioid overdose. The National Institutes of Health research shows the number of adults in the criminal justice system has skyrocketed from 1.8 million in 1980 to around 7.3 million in 2007, which can be largely attributed to drug-related crimes and drug addicted offenders.

“With this issue, this opioid epidemic, I believe society has a duty of care to resolve this. We need to make treatment more affordable and accessible,” Lee said.

Chronic drug usage changes the brain chemistry and creates a compulsion to seek and use drugs despite deadly consequences, the NIH also states, with roughly 50% of those in the criminal justice system meeting the criteria for drug abuse but only around 20% percent actually receive treatment for it.

“Before going into the jail, I had no idea about brain chemistry or that drug usage rewired brains. It made good people turn into criminals and prostitutes; it was eye opening,” Lee said.

Through his volunteer work at the jail, he learned many of the inmates had never met any successful people in their lives. He then made it his mission to bring as many highly successful people in there to mentor them as he could possibly get. His intent was to showcase to these inmates that success wasn’t a flashy car or jewelry, but instead someone who serves his or her country and its communities.

Thanks to him, they had the chance to meet and be mentored by a national drug czar, a member of Seal Team Six, a lieutenant general behind the capture of Pablo Escobar,

and a former commander of the FBI’s hostage rescue team. Lee stressed that society needs to see the people behind the addiction.

“The impact that people like you and I, and others can have is huge if we just take the time,” he added.

He recommends all citizens find their own purpose inside of the local community, which can

ultimately prove to be a mutuallyrewarding opportunity.

“You don’t have to go to jail to serve your community. There are homeless shelters, school programs, and church programs. Find a need and fill it. I know that sounds simple but not everybody is programmed to walk into a jail and do what I do. I didn’t think I was, but I found out it was made for me.”

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Military spouses encourage kindness

A YEAR LONG MISSION.

Join us in Honoring Our Veterans on National Wreaths Across America Day.

Each December, our mission to Remember, Honor and Teach, is carried out by coordinating wreath-laying ceremonies at Arlington National Cemetery, as well as more than 1,600 participating locations in all 50 states and abroad. It is never too soon to get involved. Volunteers and wreath sponsorships are needed each year to reach the goal of honoring and remembering as many veteran’s as possible in cemeteries across the country. Wreaths Across America receives no government funding.

To register yourself or your company to volunteer, or to sponsor wreaths, visit www.wreathsacrossamerica.org

CFC #66860

OPERATION HEAL OUR PATRIOTS

Through Operation Heal Our Patriots®, Samaritan’s Purse provides combat-wounded veterans and their spouses with a week of Biblically based marriage enrichment classes as well as ongoing chaplain care. This is just one way we’re helping to meet the physical and spiritual needs of hurting people across the globe in Jesus’ Name.

CFC #10532

One act of kindness can change the world. It is with this in mind that three military spouses from different branches of service made the decision to go global and inspire 1 million acts of kindness by establishing the inaugural GivingTuesday Military edition. GivingTuesday, which is the Tuesday directly following Thanksgiving, was established in 2012 with one goal in mind, to make generosity go viral. This global day of giving is designed to inspire charitable giving to organizations that are changemakers in their communities, but also stimulate collaboration and volunteerism in communities.

Beyond monetary donations, it was this sense of community and generosity in mind that led 2019 Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year branch winners Jessica Manfre (Coast Guard), Maria Reed (Army) and Samantha Gomolka (National Guard) to come together for this global effort on Tuesday, December 3, 2019.

Local chapter ambassador Timothy Montjoy will facilitate kindness efforts in Augusta, Georgia, to encourage and assist those looking to join the movement with ideas of how to give back and get involved. Montjoy is a retiree of the U.S. Air Force and founder of the nonprofit Operation Teammate — inspiring military children.

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| samaritanspurse.org | © 2019
Graham, President
Samaritan’s Purse.
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32 www.militaryfamilies.com CFC

“GivingTuesday Military is the perfect example of people working together to make a difference in the lives of others and transform their communities. It’s inspiring to see military service members, veterans, and their families who already have committed so much to something bigger than themselves, lead the way to encourage one million acts of kindness,” Asha Curran, chief executive officer of GivingTuesday, said.

The challenge to military service members, veterans and their families is to complete 1 million acts of kindness and share a photo, video or post of their act through social media channels with #GivingTuesdayMilitary.

“These acts of kindness can be small, but give members of the military community an opportunity to connect with each other and the communities we live in,” Montjoy said. “The opportunities are limitless and could be as simple as buying a cup of coffee for a stranger, leaving a kind note on a car windshield or simply sharing a hug with someone who needs it.”

Examples of acts you can do in your community:

• Serve a meal to people in need.

• Create care bags for children in hospitals.

• Host a canned food drive.

• Post inspirational sticky notes around your neighborhood, office, school, etc.

• Collect coats and shoes for the homeless.

• Give away stuff for free in an online marketplace.

• Plant trees or a community garden.

• Have a cleanup party at a beach or park.

• Purchase extra dog or cat food and bring it to an animal shelter.

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STOP HUMAN TRAFFICKING Childr N For 28 year for Traffick Missing Pe has located returned h of kidnapp missing bo Help bring Learn mor Please cho CFC ITEMPis an Proud member of the Combined Federal Campaign #10560 800-822-6344 • stjude.org/cfc ©2019 ALSAC/St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital (PRNS-720) St. Jude patient Addy with her dad, Tanner, Staff Sergeant in U.S. Army AmeriForce Ad: 4.6” w x 4.75” h (File at 100% Actual Size, No Bleed) Finding cures. Saving children.® For more details about GivingTuesday Military, visit www.givingtuesdaymilitary.com .
www.militaryfamilies.com 33

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PERCENT 34 www.militaryfamilies.com By the Numbers
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