2020 MF JULY

ONE CONNECTED WORLD

Recent months have tested our country in new (and familiar) ways as we continue to battle tough issues that necessitate change going forward. The far-reaching arm of the coronavirus pandemic reminded Americans of our global interconnectedness, even when issues seem far beyond our borders. What affects one of us, affects all of us.

And this concept is not new to our community. One of the many benefits of service is the option to experience other cultures around the world, as is evident by this edition’s cover story. Coast Guard Command Master Chief Lucas Pullen and his family have experienced island life in Guam and now the desert landscape of Bahrain. It has exposed their military teens to food, architecture and education that most only read about in books.

So how can military families share their worldview with our domestic neighbors? Sharing your experiences is a powerful way to diminish the fear of the unknown. You can easily close the distance of this great big world by opening up about your interactions overseas. We welcome the opportunity to expose fellow citizens to the awesomeness of where you get stationed. Write us at managing.editor@ameriforcemedia.com .

Bethaney Wallace, Brianna Norris, Andrea Downing Peck, Tiffany Lawrence, Jessica Manfre, Alison Evans, Noëlle Boyer, Amy Pottinger, Jimmy Norris and Elizabeth Aslakson

Coastie in Bahrain

By Jessica Manfre

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2020 CLASS OF

FELLOWS NAMED DOLE CAREGIVER

By Bethaney Wallace

The Elizabeth Dole Foundation named its newest class of fellows who will represent caregivers at a time plagued by the coronavirus.

Thirty military and veteran caregivers representing 23 states join 225 past and present Dole Caregiver Fellows in bringing attention to the plight of 5.5 million “hidden heroes” that provide more than $14 billion in voluntary care for wounded, ill, and injured service members and veterans every year, according to a foundation press release.

“Our eighth class of Dole Caregiver Fellows is bringing a new set of unique voices to our mission, but all share similar stories of strength, resilience, and hope in caring for their wounded warriors,” said Steve Schwab, CEO of the Elizabeth Dole Foundation. “As they care for their veterans, we are grateful for their passion, wisdom, and willingness to come together and advocate for their fellow hidden heroes. They are the heart and soul of our work.”

Through the program, caregivers receive support, training and a platform to address the most pressing issues facing the community. They also share their stories directly with national leaders in the White House,

Congress, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, and other government agencies, as well as decision makers in the business, entertainment, faith, and nonprofit sectors.

Mari Linfoot, a 2020 Dole Caregiver Fellow, is a full-time caregiver for her husband, Gary, who was paralyzed during a mechanical helicopter failure in 2008. She says

there’s a whole phase of just trying to figure out how to be a caregiver.

“It takes a long time. I kind of wish someone would have sat me down and said, ‘Don’t be hard on yourself because for the next year-to-threeyears you’re going to be trying to figure life out, and that’s OK,’” she said. “You just want to fix everything and you just can’t fix some things.”

At the time of the accident, Mari had a successful real estate company. Due to the demands for Gary’s care, she has now taken on a round-the-clock role as his caregiver.

“Gary went through a really dark emotional time. He was so good about putting a happy face on and he didn’t complain, but inside he was just dying. He started engaging in speaking at schools and businesses and it helped bring him out of it,” she said.

The pair travels for Gary’s speaking engagements where they discuss patriotism and technology that helps him get around, including an IBOT wheelchair that raises him to eye level and climbs stairs, and an exoskeleton that he used to walk their daughter down the aisle.

Regular travel challenges include rental cars or hotel rooms that are not accessible for Gary, despite multiple confirmations.

“Life is good. I can’t say life isn’t good. It’s just a lot. Everything is so much more detailed. It requires much more work and thought,” she said. “You have to count on other people doing what they’re supposed to do. You have less chance to take things into your own hands.”

In addition to speaking engagements, the couple founded the American Mobility Project to provide equipment and adaptive products after seeing a need within the civilian population. They also help connect veterans and military members with resources.

Anne Way, an Army Reserve spouse, was named to the Dole Fellowship community for her endurance and involvement.

In 2002, her husband, Pete, took shrapnel to the knee. Through multiple episodes of sepsis and flesh-eating bacteria, his knee was found to contain Middle Eastern strains causing infections. After years of complications and dozens of surgeries, Pete, a nurse

practitioner, decided to amputate his leg.

“I trusted his opinion. We felt almost a relief. I was worried I was going to lose him multiple times, so I thought if we can just get rid of the leg, we can keep this from happening again,” Anne said.

In years since, he underwent innovative surgery to help his prosthetic, for which he’s still receiving treatment.

“It wasn’t the instant fix we were hoping for, but we’re working on it.”

Anne, who lives in Georgia, retired from her teaching career and now works as a full-time caregiver.

“I’m probably not as nurturing as some wives,” she laughed. “I encourage him to get up and go.”

“The biggest thing is being that support to him and understanding his physical needs.”

To promote healthy movement, even through amputation, the Ways have started a nonprofit biking community. Vets Fight On works with the VA and Forces United to provide hand and recumbent bikes. She said not only is the exercise aspect helpful, but it allows military members to connect socially.

“I’m looking forward to bringing support and awareness to others. I didn’t look for it and that would have been extremely rewarding to have that encouragement,” she said. “Let’s focus on the positive going forward and unite.”

Mari and Gary Linfoot

Book offers tools to help children of deployed service members cope

By Brianna Norris

It’s not always easy to find the tools to help military children endure a parent’s deployment, according to one military spouse and author.

After dealing with the challenge of helping her own military child cope with his father’s deployment, author Becky King attempted to provide comfort for the children of deployed parents with her book “I’ll Lend You My Daddy.” The book explores several ways for children to feel better about a parent’s deployment.

King said she wanted to show families how children could stay connected with their deployed parent through care packages, video chats and countdown calendars. The inspiration came when her husband, Steve, deployed with his Army unit to Afghanistan in 2012. King said she needed to find ways to help her son, Benson, feel better about his father’s absence — something that was difficult for her as she struggled with her own emotions during this time.

“One of the hardest parts about being there for your child is also coping with your own emotions

as a parent and a spouse,” King said. “There are so many responses to your loved one leaving for deployment: loneliness, stress, fear ... but also pride, love, anticipation.”

One strategy she discussed is helping a child create care packages for the deployed parent. The activity helped her and her son feel connected with his father. She also made sure to have Benson include something he’d made in the package.

“Sending artwork Benson drew also instilled great pride in Benson, especially when his father would call home and brag about what he received,” King said.

King’s book also describes service members on the job, so children have the opportunity to learn what their fathers go through and what they could be doing while away from home. The book touches on emotions all military families feel regardless of their branch. King said military children don’t often realize theirs is not the only family dealing with the struggles of deployment.

“The details in the illustrations make it easily relatable for an Army

child or a Marine child, Navy or Air Force – from the fathers’ uniforms to the equipment, gear and scenery. It truly is a book that not only reflects the experience of many young children but will also help kids see they belong to a much larger world of military families that are serving our country,” King said.

There are resources available to military families and spouses to help them stay connected. One King recommends is https://www. militaryonesource.mil .

“This site provides so much information from taxes, to relationships and even health in dealing with a deployment,” King said. “I would also recommend a Family Readiness Group if you are able to participate. It was one of the first things I did to find support during my husband’s deployment. Since my husband is in the Army, I would also recommend the Army Wives Network and podcast.”

To learn more about King’s book visit https://startswithus.com/ books/#book-i’ll-lend-you-mydaddy.

Marine achieves childhood dream of becoming an

astronaut

By Bianca M. Strzalkowski

An active-duty Marine is among the newest class of astronauts eligible for NASA missions to the moon and beyond.

Marine Maj. Jasmin “Jaws” Moghbeli said she became enamored with space as a child, with a series of experiences amplifying her interest as she got older.

“The first time I remember saying I wanted to become an astronaut was in sixth grade. We had to do a

book report and I had chosen to do mine on Valentina Tereshkova — the first woman in space, a Russian cosmonaut. And it’s kind of stemmed from there. We had to dress up like the person in school for the day, so I made a little astronaut costume with my mom,” Moghbeli said.

By the time she reached high school, her parents had enrolled her in space camp and she witnessed a shuttle launch. The seed was planted from there.

Earlier this year, Moghbeli and 10 classmates completed two years of training to become the first class of astronauts to graduate under the Artemis program, making them eligible for assignments to the International Space Station, Artemis missions to the moon, and eventually, Mars, according to a NASA press release.

The New York-native was commissioned into the Marine Corps in 2005 after earning a Bachelor of Science degree in Aerospace Engineering with Information Technology from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. However, her sights were initially set on being a Naval aviator.

“I don’t think I knew what the Marine Corps was, to be entirely honest. My parents came from Iran and my grandfather was an admiral in the Iranian navy, and so he told me lots of cool stories when I was younger. So, I initially was looking into going into the Navy and becoming a Naval aviator that way,” she said.

During a summer seminar program for the Naval Academy Moghbeli

NASA astronaut candidate Jasmin Moghbeli poses for a portrait in the Johnson Space Center’s Systems Engineering Simulator, a real-time, crew-inthe-loop engineering simulator for advanced spaceflight programs. NASA/Bill Ingalls.

During water survival training at Johnson Space Center’s Neutral Buoyancy Laboratory in Houston, then-NASA astronaut candidate Jasmin Moghbeli is guided through training by divers. NASA/James Blair.

learned about the Marines and by her junior year of college she connected with a recruiter who told her she could get a guaranteed air contract.

Throughout her time as a Marine pilot, Moghbeli completed 150 combat missions and 2,000 hours of flight time in more than 25 different aircraft. At the time of her selection for the 2017 Astronaut Candidate Class, she was testing H-1 helicopters at MCAS Yuma, Arizona.

Moghbeli said many crossovers between the culture of the Marines and that of NASA prepared her for success in the program.

“I think the Marine Corps set me up very well for training here and for the job we have to do here. The teamwork and camaraderie –teamwork is obviously a big part of what we do here at NASA – and especially when you talk about being on a crew of a handful of people for months, potentially years at a time. I think we learn a lot of good teamwork skills in the Marine Corps,”

she said. “My operational background from being a test pilot, being a Cobra pilot, have been huge. Even while I was on the initial training, I was able to contribute to evaluating the displays on the Orion capsule and new things on the different vehicles, because of that background.”

Moghbeli added the public speaking required during frequent flight briefs quelled her stage fright and “learning the space station systems was not that different from learning aircraft systems.”

Pictured (front row, left to right, Zena Cardman, Jasmin Moghbeli, Robb Kulin, Jessica Watkins, Loral O’Hara; back row, left to right, Jonny Kim, Frank Rubio, Matthew Dominick, Warren Hoburg, Kayla Barron, Bob Hines, and Raja Chari. Image Credit: NASA

There are currently 17 active-duty astronauts working for NASA, according to Jennifer Hernandez, a NASA communications specialist.

Army: 3

Marine Corps: 2

Navy: 7

Air Force: 5

For service members interested in pursuing a similar path to Moghbeli, she offers the following advice:

“Achieving anything that is challenging, and most Marines probably know this but, there’s going to be stumbles and failures along the way, and I’ve had plenty in my path here. If you talk to my first on-wing [instructor] in flight school, he’s shocked I even made it to my solo,” she said. “But always getting back up, finding those mentors … finding people that will help you when you are struggling, and then also something I think is very important ... to surround yourself with people who are going to challenge you and push.”

Follow https://twitter.com/ AstroJaws to keep up with Maj. Moghbeli’s training at NASA — including future missions.

Moghbeli, a pilot assigned to Marine Test and Evaluation Squadron 1, conducts her final flight in an AH-1 “Cobra” at Marine Corps Air Station Yuma, Arizona, in 2017.

Photo by Lance Cpl. Christian Cachola.

The COVID-19 effect:

Navy ships

By Andrea Downing Peck

When the USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN-71) returned to sea in lateMay following a two-month long battle against the novel coronavirus, the aircraft carrier was ground zero for a new normal for Navy ships at sea.

In the early months of the global pandemic, the Roosevelt had become itself a COVID-19 “hotspot.” The virus ultimately cost one Roosevelt crewmember his life and infected 1,150 sailors. As the ship resumed its mission with a scaled-back crew, facemasks, frequent handwashing, enhanced cleaning measures, reduced mess deck seating, one-way corridors and other protocols to mitigate COVID-19 had become the norm within the fleet.

“We can protect our force, we can deploy our Navy, and we will do both,” Vice Adm. Phillip Sawyer, Deputy Chief of Naval Operations

for Operations, Plans and Strategy, told reporters on an April 15 call. “Face-coverings, hand-washing, ship-disinfecting are now part of our daily routine throughout the Navy.”

Michael Rubin, resident scholar at the American Enterprise Institute, argues the pandemic has served as a wake-up call for the Navy.

“The Navy trains for all sorts of contingencies but if operating during a global pandemic was one, it was so far down the list as to be irrelevant,” Rubin said. “Politicians thought we were past this age and flag officers and civilian planners were no different.”

Less than a month after the first sailor aboard the Roosevelt tested positive for the coronavirus, the Navy issued updated guidance aimed at maintaining ongoing fleet operations and defeating “this unseen enemy.” The Navy’s

“Pre-Deployment Guidance” and a “COVID-19 Recovery Framework” outline shipboard changes that will be experienced by sailors:

Pre-deployment:

• Mandatory medical screenings for existing medical conditions that place personnel at higher risk for COVID-19 complications.

• Daily personal screening questionnaires and temperature checks.

• Testing and isolation of anyone with flu-like symptoms.

• 14-to-21-day restriction of movement (ROM) period for potentially asymptomatic people to present symptoms.

• 14-day ROM period before external crew, ship riders (contractors, technical representatives) and direct support personnel can embark during an underway.

Deployment:

• Enforcement of personal hygiene practices and, whenever possible, physical distancing.

• Ongoing screening for potential COVID-19 symptoms.

• Maximum personal protective equipment (PPE) use.

• Separate and segregate cleaning teams from critical watchstanders.

• Restrict visitors.

• Minimize contact with delivery personnel.

The aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN 71) pulls alongside the fleet replenishment oiler USNS Pecos (T-AO 197) during a replenishment-at-sea in June. Following an extended visit to Guam in the midst of the COVID-19 global pandemic, Theodore Roosevelt is underway conducting carrier qualifications during a deployment to the Indo-Pacific. Photo by Mass Communication Specialist Seaman Kaylianna Genier.

Additional guidance outlines specific steps to be taken to clean a ship or facility following a COVID-19 outbreak, using three categories of requirements depending on the degree to which the space is operationally significant and the level of access required.

“These measures allow fleet leadership the ability to monitor the health of the force in a controlled and secure environment so they are ready to accomplish assigned missions and support to the goal of preventing the spread of the COVID virus to U.S. forces, allies, partners and the community. These frameworks cover testing for personnel as well,” Cmdr. Patrick L. Evans, Public Affairs Officer for Naval Surface Force, U.S. Pacific Fleet, said in an email response. He noted commanders have the authority to issue more specific guidance to units within their areas of responsibility.

“In addition, our ships are enforcing social distancing, minimizing group gatherings, wearing PPE and cleaning extensively,” he added. “Quarterdeck watchstanders are screening anyone who walks on board and referring sailors with symptoms to medical evaluation.”

Navy officials have acknowledged “day-to-day actions must assume COVID is present” because asymptomatic personnel are likely to be aboard all ships. That point was driven home in mid-May when 14 Roosevelt sailors who previously contracted the virus tested positive a second time after returning to the ship following a mandatory quarantine period and two negative COVID-19 tests.

Retired Navy Capt. Albert Shimkus, a registered nurse and certified nurse anesthetist who previously

commanded the hospital ship USNS Comfort, maintains sailors must take individual responsibility for following COVID-19 prevention protocols and “recognizing you could potentially be a carrier that could affect and infect your shipmates.”

As the Navy adjusts to the operational realities the pandemic presents, Shimkus, whose views are his own and do not represent the U.S. Naval War College, U.S. Navy or Department of Defense, stresses the Navy’s core values must ring true.

“Given the nature of what this crisis is ‘Honor, Courage and Commitment’ speak volumes about how we will treat ourselves and each other and about doing the ethically and morally correct thing,” said Shimkus, Associate Professor, National Security Affairs, Naval War College. “That’s all related to a command environment that is healthy and a command environment that is willing to do what’s right for the members of their command.”

Shimkus is confident Navy leaders at sea and ashore will rise to the challenge.

“Good leadership in the context of this crisis is being transparent to their crew and members of their organizations,” he explained.

“Telling the truth and being able to be understood by your crew, opening up questions and answering them to the best of your ability is part of good leadership and commitment to doing the right thing.”

Navy Seaman Kyle Pavek stands lookout watch aboard the aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN 71) during a replenishment-at-sea with the fleet replenishment oiler USNS Pecos (T-AO 197). Photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Julian Davis.

Navy Quartermaster 3rd Class Patrick Souvannaleut, left, and Quartermaster 3rd Class Elizabeth Weil, right, stand spotter lookout during a replenishment-at-sea as the aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt approaches the fleet replenishment oiler USNS Pecos (T-AO 197). Photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Zachary Wheeler.

Vetrepreneur finds green pastures after the military

By Tiffany Lawrence

After 25 years of service, Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah, Georgia, was the final military stop for 1st Sgt. Johny Crooks before retiring. When he decided to plant roots there, he had no idea he would also grow a flourishing lawn care business. Blades of Grass Lawn Care LLC has given him the chance to teach and inspire thousands of people.

Crooks isn’t your average lawn care guy. He’s also a bit of a social media guru with followers who are not only looking for lawn care tips but also advice on how to successfully monetize their craft.

“I teach guys how to be self sufficient and run a business,” he said.

While he believes that anyone can cut grass and get better at it, “everyone can’t be proficient, efficient, productive and make a sustainable revenue,” he adds.

But his business journey didn’t sprout from being enamored with making lawns beautiful. It started with his competitive nature and a desire to win.

While stationed in Fort Lee, Virginia, Crooks wanted the highly sought after “Yard of the Month” award in his neighborhood. But tackling this wouldn’t be easy. Due to his rigorous drill sergeant schedule, he had very little free time. Additionally, Crooks

had no knowledge of how to care for his yard.

“For two weekends, I watched HGTV. I learned how to plant flowers around the tree and what height to cut the grass. I won yard of the month,” he said.

Not only did Crooks gain bragging rights, but he found a new passion.

“I had a love for those plants and

flowers. So, I had yard of the month for a long time.”

After moving to Savannah, Georgia, his neighbors started to notice how beautiful he kept his yard and asked him to care for theirs as well. In a short period of time, Crooks was cutting yards for his entire cul-desac as a part-time job. After retiring , he took a chance to see if he would enjoy providing lawn care as a fulltime service.

“Within the first two to three years, I had so many customers that I had to hire people because I couldn’t handle it,” he said.

His business now consists of two operating trucks and six employees. He loves making lawns beautiful but more than that, Crooks loves using his platform to share his knowledge and mentor others. And his reach has become worldwide.

Blades of Grass Lawn Care LLC has over 18,000 followers on Instagram and more than 43,000 YouTube subscribers.

His social media followers get seasonal lawn care tips, learn about the newest equipment available and also how to maintain their equipment for proper upkeep.

“I love what I do, but I love teaching what I do. Every one of my videos is a teaching video. At first, I was doing what everybody else was doing. Just making vlogs. People weren’t learning anything from it. When people learn, they have a tendency to come back to you,” Crooks said.

He also uses his influence to support causes that are close to his heart. Since 2019, he has been the face of Project EverGreen’s GreenCare For Troops campaign. It is a needs-based program for active-duty deployed service members who rank E6 or below.

While on a deployment having to leave his wife with their two young sons, Crooks had his own personal experience with an unreliable lawn care provider. So, he is happy to volunteer his services to GreenCare for military families in his area.

Because of that, it was only natural for him to take this campaign to his social media followers as well.

“I’ve recruited a whole lot of lawn care guys and girls to join the program,” he said.

Crooks has found the secret sauce that has allowed his business to thrive.

From his experience, there are three things he advises entrepreneurs to do: stay visible, consistent and professional.

“It makes customers remember your name and who you are,” he said.

By Jessica Manfre

An enlisted leader is proving the Coast Guard’s reach extends far beyond America’s coastlines.

Bahrain is the epicenter of the Combined Maritime Forces — a partnership comprised of 33 different nations dedicated to combating terrorism and piracy, while promoting maritime safety.

Command Master Chief Lucas Pullen, the first Coast Guard member to hold a senior enlisted leadership role for a coalition force, serves as its liaison. The decision to put him in

that position instead of a sailor was done purposefully, he says.

Since the CMF operates as a part of U.S. Naval Forces Central Command, a coastie brings objectivity, Pullen explained. In the midst of extensive Navy operations, him being in the Coast Guard more clearly defines his position and role.

“With this there are no blurred lines on who does what, I am able to specifically make sure things are working for the coalition side of things,” Pullen said.

The Oklahoma-native enlisted in the Coast Guard in 1998 to become a Boatswain’s Mate, a rating that is the operational core of almost every mission. After completing basic training, he was assigned to Small Boat Station South Padre Island, Texas, according to his official biography. As an operator, he gained experience “in maritime law enforcement to include fisheries, counter-narcotics, and counter-migrant operations, as well as search and rescue, and maritime security operations.”

Pullen’s extensive 22-year Coast Guard career prepared him for his new role as the senior enlisted leader of the CMF. He now works directly with senior military leaders from the multi-national partnership to promote security and stability across 3.2 million square miles of international waters.

“As a command master chief, one of my main jobs is the people and their families,” he said.

Working directly with members of the coalition has been an incredible experience, Pullen added. He described a typical day as starting with sharing Arabic coffee with a Kuwaiti leader and ending with tea and scones with the British. He loves the diversity and continuous ability to learn from the other nations’ military leaders, he said, also expressing his role in Bahrain will serve him well for further Coast Guard positions, although none will probably be as unique and involved.

Prior to Bahrain, the Pullen family was stationed in Guam — a duty station the kids did not want to leave. Marcy Pullen, who has moved 10 times with her husband, didn’t initially think she and the couple’s children would be eligible to PCS to Bahrain. It is typically an unaccompanied tour but a waiver changed that.

“I didn’t hesitate, I said let’s go,” she said.

Her husband praised his family’s resiliency and strength. Their oldest son, Tucker, is 17 and about to start college. If he attends the same college all four years, it’ll be the longest he’s ever lived anywhere.

Adjusting to life in Bahrain has included a unique set of experiences for the family, due to the political influence, culture, and customs. Seated to their left could be a fellow military kid while on their right, a Saudi Arabian royal.

Sixteen-year-old Cheyenne shared her struggle with not being able to just go explore or do things independently off base because it isn’t safe, especially for girls. Bahrain is a very conservative country where most women are either hidden or extensively covered when in public. But Levi, 13, also says there’s some good to being a military kid in Bahrain.

“I loved getting to do new things like learning how to play cricket with the Australian military kids. You get all of these amazing experiences that are out of the way and interesting,” he said.

All of the kids did agree on one thing: the food is amazing. One of their favorite things to eat is Baklava, a sweet dessert dish made with nuts and honey.

Pullen also credits the Coast Guard with preparing his family for such a unique assignment in the Middle East.

“Our quality of life thought process is very different from the other branches. I think we are very resilient as a service because we go into these remote locations without big military bases. We pick up all the military challenges without the resources there to support us,” he explained.

Marcy Pullen echoes his sentiment, reflecting on how hard it was as a new Coast Guard spouse and mom. She’s taken those lessons and experiences with her, using what she’s learned to help all military families who may be struggling to adjust to life in Bahrain.

With one year left in Bahrain, travel remains high at the top of their bucket list — though COVID-19 and tensions overseas have heavily restricted movement. As the Pullen family reflected on their journey, they agreed each move has brought new lessons and memories. They eagerly anticipate their next Coast Guard Adventure that can take them anywhere.

* All images by Candice Baker

Living (and loving) in a soberly-divided

marriage

By Alison Evans

Marriage can feel like a roller coaster, full of unforeseen ups and downs.

But a marriage that becomes divided by sobriety levels up the ride, adding sharp turns, twists and loops that will make any head spin.

From the moment my husband and I met in 2007 — at a bar on a Monday night — alcohol has played a significant role between us. We bonded and drank our way through every phase: courting, engagement and newlywed. We drank through good times and bad, for good reasons and not.

When we entered the new-parent phase, there was a shift.

My husband, whose sole goal in life was to be a dad, started to slow

down his drinking. I boldly amped it up, increasing with each of the three children we brought into the world.

When my heavy weekend drinking trickled into weekdays, my husband expressed concern.

When I drank excessively while he was on missions, he gave me ultimatums to not drink.

When my few solo travels resulted in reckless drinking, we both agreed I should stop altogether.

Twice I attempted to break up with alcohol for my kids and marriage — once for 100 days, the other for eight months.

Yet, I knew I’d drink again because that’s what my husband and I did.

We drank. A lot. Together.

By the beginning of 2017, my drinking was at an all-time high, and I was at an all-time low.

My soul felt beyond broken. I was living life on alcohol’s terms rather than my own.

I was in single-mom-mode with our kids and on day four of an uncontrollable bender. I heard a very distant voice. It was my own, deep inside, and it said, enough. In that moment I knew I was ready to get sober — not for my kids, not for my marriage, but for me.

Fast forward to today, more than three years later, and I’m still gratefully sober.

The years have gifted me heaps of

self-growth, such as how to honor my feelings, to stay present and to live authentically. I’ve found my voice and my calling in a new career. I’ve also done a complete 180 on how I perceive alcohol and the alcohol industry.

When people ask about the hardest part of recovery my answer has been and remains my marriage.

At first, it was not only the elephant in the room, but an elephant between us. To remove the elephant, we’ve attempted a dry house, which resulted in resentment from both parties.

We’ve tried a normal routine of my husband drinking as he pleases, which has also resulted in resentment and rejection from both parties.

We’ve talked. We’ve fought. We’ve cried, and we’ve loved each other so hard through it all.

So how then do you live in a soberly divided marriage?

For us, there is no black-and-white answer, but I can attest to what we’ve learned over the years.

Honest communication is a must.

If I’m triggered or having an off day, it’s best to own it and say it aloud. Otherwise, my husband may have no understanding as to my bitterness or emotional distance. Plus, he’s able to better support me in the future, and vice versa if he struggles on his side of the journey.

Establish and honor boundaries.

Being around my husband when he drinks usually doesn’t bother me because, oddly enough, I like his tipsy, talkative lighter side. But my boundary is set at two nights in a row of his drinking. Beyond that and he knows he’ll find me elsewhere, doing my own thing. He honors my choice and space, but more times than not, he’ll not risk losing my company for a drink.

Respect the differences.

He’s a science guy. I’m a believer in Jesus. In all our time, we’ve respected our differences in faith. Similar respect is now applied to our opposing relationships with alcohol. We agree to disagree, and we do so respectfully.

Time and patience do wonders.

Despite the infinite ups and downs outside that come with being soberly divided, it’s clear with every passing sober day, we grow stronger in our marriage. We also grow stronger as individuals. But we must practice patience when the sober journey feels tough.

Practice empathy daily.

Lastly, without empathy, we may have fallen apart years ago. With empathy, we see through each other’s eyes more clearly. We’re better equipped to practice the “Golden Rule.” We’re forever reminded that at the end of the day, we’re two imperfect people doing our best to love each other through the sober journey’s good, bad and in-betweens.

By Noëlle Boyer

How

The short answer: you wait. You focus on your four walls and build it up from the inside. You mourn the life you aren’t living by making a list of what you would be doing.

Let me break down how I would (ideally) make our new duty station feel like home:

First, I would scope out the nearby grocery stores. Learn the aisles and compare prices to the commissary, deciding if the drive for organic outweighs the better price of meats.

I also research children’s programs — story time at the local library, a Tinkergarten group, running clubs, MOPS meetings, and a preschool

program — to fill my days with kids’ activities that encourage socialization and help me meet other moms.

We would go on a weekly hunt for the best playground. We would look for hiking trails to enjoy on family outings when Dad is home on the weekends.

We would check out local restaurants to see which places suit a toddler’s picky taste and a parent’s desire for a non-judged meal.

Then we would look for a church. Only having one day a week to visit churches makes this part difficult, but when you move to a new place, you have time to keep looking until

the music, lighting, and preaching style fits your family.

Moving to a new place and feeling hopeful of new beginnings while also missing your old duty station is common for military spouses. But being forced to immediately quarantine due to a global crisis added an entire extra layer of complications to this PCS. You can’t fully leave the life you left behind when you’re unable to start a new one.

You might find yourself sitting in your new house, in a new state, longing for what’s familiar from your former location (even if they’re facing a massive COVID-19 outbreak too). At least you’d be in your comfort zone and do things to get by, like driving by your best friend’s house to drop off a care package on their front porch.

do you get to know a place when your new city is shut down?

Fortunately, we have figured out ways to cope using modern technology. My 3-year-old FaceTimes his best friends from his west coast preschool at any point in the day. We stay connected to extended family. We get to delay the start of the “new.”

Still, how do you move forward when you’re constantly pulled back to the sadness of goodbyes due to this quarantine?

I lean into the sadness for a bit. I let myself feel the grief but I put a time limit on it. When the frustration of isolation hits me (which it does randomly), I reach out to a friend or my husband. Don’t be afraid to show the human side of this military life. You don’t have to be always the strong one just because this lifestyle asks it of you.

It’s OK to be angry at this situation. Moving away from a place you called home when you don’t want to isn’t normal to most. It’s just “our” normal. But here’s the thing: It’s not OK to stay angry. If you’re lacking the tools to display your anger in an appropriate way that doesn’t involve violence, seek help from a professional. Learning the right methods will change your life.

Once I reach that time limit on my anger, I move to action. I ask myself, “What can I control right now?” or, “What do I need to do to make this place home?”

This move is a fresh start. This house is a clean slate. I can decorate it however I want. Every home you move into doesn’t have to look the same.

What can we all expect from our days?

How much TV will be watched?

What outdoor activities can we play?

Where can we drive to for a midweek lunch outing?

Are there online kids’ programs for my children?

What meals can we make as a family?

How can I make time for myself to get a break to recharge?

How many weekly FaceTime meeting with friends can we expect?

As a Marine Corps family, we’ve instinctively adopted the motto of adapt and overcome. That’s what needs to be done as we face stayhome orders, random closings and uncertainties all while your husband still goes into work everyday.

This quarantine is forcing our family to be intentional together. It means more one-on-one time with my children. It means family dinners at the dining room table or a backyard picnic. It means no more social obligations that make us feel busy or rushed. It’s allowing us to save money for more important things.

Remember, you will make friends again. You will browse all your local area has to offer. You will eventually make this new place feel like a home.

Keep up with Noëlle Boyer as she adapts to life in North Carolina by following her at https://www. instagram.com/noellerboyer.

I then create a routine for my kids and myself. I make a schedule around these questions:

By Amy Pottinger

Social distancing does not mean socializing is canceled. Through the power of technology, summer parties are still a possibility — even if that means it happens digitally across locations.

We all love a good get together. And just like everyone else, my contact with other humans has been pretty limited. As much as I love the abundance of time I am getting with my kids and husband, I beam when I see the faces of my friends. I have always known how much they mean to me, but we are certainly in the absence makes the heart grow fonder stage of quarantine.

margaritas

Ingredients/Instructions for a large batch

4 cups tequila (I prefer silver)

3 cups lime juice

1 cup Triple sec, Grand Marnier or Cointreau

1 cup carbonated water (I know it sounds weird, but I like a little bit of fizz)

1/2 cup agave nectar

3/4 cup orange juice

1 lime

Salt

Sugar (colored or plain, optional)

PICK A THEME

• Wine and tapas/charcuterie (one of my favorites, see recipe below)

• Mimosas, coffee and brunch

• Tired-mommy-and-anythinggoes (think coffee, vodka in a mug, pajamas, face masks)

• Margaritas and unlimited chips/ salsa (another all-time favorite, see recipe below)

• Costume party/ birthday party/ anything party (it’s YOUR party, celebrate someone or nothing)

• Movie/watch party or game/ trivia night

CONSIDER TIME ZONES

Being attached to the military means you probably have friends all over the place and in many

different time zones. Cocktail hour for you, might be someone else’s breakfast time. Pick a time and theme that works for everyone.

INVITES

I am a huge fan of the casual text, but we don’t have a lot of excitement in our days. Everyone LOVES getting mail. Whether you opt for something electronic, or good old-fashioned snail mail, invites can be super fun. You can even mail out a what-to-get guide for your “guests.” And of course, this wouldn’t be an article by yours truly if I did not share a recipe. So, let’s go with some of my favorite things: Mexican food/margaritas and wine with tapas/charcuterie.

Ingredients/instructions small batch

If you are looking to make a smaller batch (3-4 margaritas), use this quantity of ingredients and follow the same instructions below:

1 cup tequila

3/4 cup lime juice

2 tbsp agave nectar

1/4 cup orange liqueur (Triple sec, Grand Marnier or Cointreau)

1/4 cup orange juice

1/4 cup carbonated water

1. Combine tequila, lime juice, orange liqueur, agave and orange juice into a large pitcher and stir. Refrigerate until you are ready to serve.

2. Wait to add the carbonated water until you are ready to serve.

Below are three go-to tips for planning a summer party when being co-located is limited.

guacamole

Ingredients

4 ripe avocados

1 small bushel cilantro

2-3 limes

1/4 cup jarred/pickled jalapenos

1-2 clove(s) of garlic, micro-planed

1/2 tbsp onion powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp pepper

Instructions

1. Halve your avocadoes and remove the core. Slice each side lengthwise and then widthwise into very small squares. The smaller the cuts, the easier to mash. Spoon them from the avocado shell and toss into a large mixing bowl.

2. If you like a lot of cilantro go ahead and chop up all the leaves; if you like less, you can omit a little bit. (I used them all.) Add the cilantro to the bowl.

3. Juice and zest 3 limes into the bowl.

4. Add 3/4 cup diced jalapenos and the micro-planed garlic into the mixing bowl.

5. And finally, add your onion powder to the mixture and stir until combined.

Wine, combined with tapas and charcuterie style dining is pretty much a staple at my house. It essentially consists of assorted cured meats, cheeses, breads/ crackers, dips/spreads and other elements such as fruits, nuts, olives and pickled vegetables. The great thing about doing this virtually is that you can make a small portion for yourself and do not need to worry about making a whole spread for everyone. So grab a glass, bottle or box of wine and hunker on down for one awesome tasting party.

olive tapenade

Ingredients

3.5 oz drained kalamata olives

3 oz drained green California olives

¼ cup fresh basil leaves

2 cloves of garlic

2 tbsp grated parmesan

1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

½ tbsp lemon juice

¼ - ½ tbsp red pepper flakes

1. Combine all ingredients in a food processor and pulse until the olives are small, but certainly not blended. If you need to do this in two batches to not over fill your food processor, you can.

2. Serve with toasted bread, crudité, pita, naan, or whatever else you like to dip with.

We want to see your party ideas! Tag Chef Amy on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/caviarandcrayons

A really simple go-to dip of mine is olive tapenade. It is a super easily crowd pleaser even if you are a crowd of one.

and administrative tasks conducted to prepare for deployment — will be conducted in accordance with guidelines established by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention guidelines. This includes social distancing measures.

Ceremonies such as color casings and redeployments will be conducted only in groups of 10 or less with participants at least six feet apart. The ceremonies may be conducted virtually.

Army’s

round of deployments comes with diseaseprevention measures

By Jimmy Norris

Quarantines, social distancing measures and virtual ceremonies are among the hallmarks of preand post-deployment during a pandemic.

The Army announced its latest round of deployments in April through a series of press releases posted to the service’s website. Units slated for deployment to various worldwide operations include 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, 4th Security Forces Assistance Brigade, 101st Airborne Division Combat Aviation Brigade, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, 2nd Armored Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, 1st Cavalry Division Headquarters and the 4th Infantry Division Combat Aviation Brigade.

While soldiers are no strangers to deployment, doing so in the wake

of the coronavirus pandemic will be different than what they’re used to, according U.S. Army spokesperson Cheryle Rivas. The Army has a number of pre- and postdeployment protective measures in place to ensure the safety of service members and their families, Rivas said in an e-mail.

“First and foremost, our number-one priority is protecting the health and welfare of our greatest assets — our soldiers, families and [Department of the Army] civilians,” Rivas said. “The Army has policies and procedures that will give installation commanders the flexibility on how best to protect the health of their service members and mitigate potential spread of the virus.”

Rivas said pre-deployment operations such as soldier readiness processing — a series of medical

Soldiers returning from overseas deployments will complete preand post-deployment quarantines. Specifically, Rivas said, there is an Army-mandated 14-day quarantine for soldiers returning from countries the CDC has designated “Level 2” or above. Level 2, according to the CDC website, includes countries in which there is “ongoing community transmission.” For family members and Department of Defense civilians returning from countries designated Level 2 or above, the Army recommends a 14-day selfquarantine as well.

Rivas says the measures in place to prevent the spread of coronavirus will not affect readiness.

“The Army remains ready to respond globally to any adversarial threat. Commanders are ensuring our formations, including equipment, stay ready in this time of crisis while adhering to CDC and DOD guidelines regarding safety and social distancing,” she said. “Proactive protective measures have been taken to remind those across Army commands to adhere to the guidelines outlined by the CDC to avoid contracting or spreading respiratory illnesses like the flu or COVID-19. We remain ready to fight tonight and to meet any challenge directly and with force.”

latest

Spc. Ricelle Taganas, combat medic with 338-1 Urban Augmented Medical Task Forces, pulls her ruck sack from the bus that transported her and other soldiers from the Javits center in New York City to Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst, New Jersey. Here they will remain in for the next 14 days in order to prevent the spread of COVID-19. Photo by Sgt. Aimee Nordin.

SWORDS TO PLOWSHARES:

A MILITARY FAMILY’S TRANSITION TO HOMESTEADING

By Elizabeth Aslakson

Despite no farming experience, one Army couple adopted the farming lifestyle through a new venture called Honking Goose Homestead.

The trend of military families transitioning to homesteading, farming and ranching is due in part to efforts by the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s (USDA) to recruit veterans into these fields. With farms dwindling in America, according to the 2017 census, the military community ethos is seen as a natural fit for those looking to serve communities once again after rejoining civilian life.

Nonetheless, Army Col. Steve Dawson said his family’s homesteading journey began when

receiving an autism diagnosis for their first-born son, Ian. He and his wife, Nancy, researched the spectrum disorder, discovering how toxins in the environment and food chain may increase the risk of children being born with this condition.

Spurred by wanting organic foods for their kids, the Dawson’s transition toward creating their current homestead took years.

A signal officer assigned to Fort Gordon, Georgia in 2013, Steve said he and Nancy began raising chickens and gardening at their off-post backyard. They enjoyed the experience, despite the humble set-up.

“It inspired me to feverishly research

how to grow food, something I didn’t realize I could do. I now have the confidence to do it and I have been increasing the scale of production every year,” Steve said.

In 2016, they bought eight acres of land and a cabin in the outskirts of Asheville, North Carolina. But as they were expanding their endeavor, Steve received orders to assume command of the Army garrison in Hawaii.

Although the Dawsons had to put their dreams on hold, Steve said his time as a garrison commander broadened his understanding of environmental stewardship. They also took advantage of resources available, like renting garden space at the Schofield Barracks Garden Club. Their garden flourished. But before they could pick the vegetables, Kailua pigs decimated it.

The setback in Hawaii did not deter them. Upon returning to Fort Gordon in 2018 for their next assignment at the cyber school, they renewed their efforts at their “forever home.” Nancy stayed at their cabin, homeschooling their two children and managing their farm, while Steve was a geo-bachelor, returning to the homestead on weekends.

Over the past two years, the Dawsons fine-tuned their niche and last year launched Honking Goose Homestead, using an agritourism

Excavating a path to the barn for a flagstone walkway on Honking Goose Homestead

Naia Dawson on her beloved Zoey on the homestead in North Carolina

business model, combined with horse boarding, bee keeping, poultry, and beef production. They also produce their own fruits, vegetables, and energy, heating their home with firewood and will be 100% solar powered by the end of this year.

Another meaningful aspect of this lifestyle is seeing their children, Ian and Naia, participate in caring for their homestead. As teenagers they are now accustomed to the lifestyle and are integral in helping.

“I don’t believe the average American child understands the chicken breast meat in a [fast-food] sandwich actually comes from a chicken. Naia does. She participates in raising and caring for our poultry, including collecting eggs and processing the chickens we eat. She

also helps [dress and butcher] deer and wild boar. You learn to appreciate your food and tend to be more grateful for the nourishment it provides you and your family when you have intimate contact with the source before you consume it.”

This said, life during the pandemic has proven to be a confidence booster, reaffirming their resilience as a family, Steve explained.

“Many times during the pandemic, we commented at the dinner table on how proud we were that we could pull venison, chicken, or wild boar out of the freezer and have a gourmet meal from animals we produced or hunted. We even contemplated how we would continue surviving on our own food in the event of a major food supply disruption,” he said.

Based on his experiences, Steve also provided recommendations to those interested in homesteading:

1. Start transitioning years ahead of time.

2. Research and plan: The Dawsons primarily used university sources ensuring the latest academic and scientific information.

3. Take advantage of organizations like the Natural Resources Conservation Service , an agency of the USDA supporting veterans and new farmers , and the Farmer Veteran Coalition

4. Be prepared for the persistent cycle of life and death. Discuss this aspect with children well in advance.

Reflecting on his goals Steve adds, “At the end of the day, if I can generate my own food and income, then I can drop out of the rat race of commuting to work every day and keeping up with information technology, and have better quality of life with my family.”

5. Have patience. The unexpected will happen and takes months or years to recover or find success. For example, the Dawsons lost their first beehives from attack bees and are finally recovering.

The Dawsons at a change of command in Hawaii.

Nancy Dawson with Hamlet and Ophelia, Kune Kune pigs on the homestead

Col. Steve Dawson on the homestead. First year of bee keeping honey harvest

Nancy Dawson with the cattle, Beatrice and Bertha on the homestead in North Carolina

CLEP offers shortcut to a degree

By Jimmy Norris

Military-affiliated students can save thousands of dollars on a degree by taking advantage of College Level Examination Program (CLEP) benefits.

An adult student who earns 15 CLEP credits to apply toward a degree could save nearly $5,000 at the average public 4-year institution and more than $17,000 at the average private nonprofit institution, according to the College Board website, with nearly 50,000 service members, eligible spouses and civil service employees utilizing the program annually for college credit.

They can also save a lot of time, says Mark Haskins, Executive Director of Pierce College at Joint Base Lewis McChord, Washington.

“By taking DSST/CLEP tests, students are theoretically able to complete their entire first year of college with test taking,” Haskins said via e-mail. “I met a soldier once who earned over 40 semester credits through testing. Even though his college program did not accept all of them, he was able to complete his associate degree in just over a year, when the average for active-duty service members is about five years.”

Haskins added that among students working toward two-year degrees, taking CLEP tests increases the

probability of completing their degree program by 17%.

Despite the advantage to taking CLEP and DSST tests, Haskins said there are some disadvantages to using the program. He said those who test out of classes miss out on other aspects of the college classroom experience. He also said not all colleges award credit for all, or any, CLEP and DSST tests.

“Therefore, if a student or service member knows which college they will attend, it will save them time and effort if they check first with that school what tests they will accept,” Haskins said.

Student who wish to take CLEP tests should pre-register at www. collegeboard.org . To take DSST tests, service members register at their testing center on the day of the test. They should specify their military status while setting up their account on the site and identify themselves as DANTES funded when purchasing a CLEP test. On test day, military identification cards are required.

The initial tests are free to activeduty service members through DANTES funding. Veterans pay the cost of the test up front and are then reimbursed by the Veterans Affairs. If the student fails a test, they must pay the cost of the test and administrative fee if they retest for the same subject test. In some cases DANTES will run a limited-time promotion where a service member can retest for free, Haskins added.

“We have seen cases where students took the test cold, only to miss earning college credit by only one or two points,” Haskins said.

Haskins said students should study ahead of time for the tests and suggested the “Modern States” website that can be accessed for free at www.modernstates.org.

Turning a house into a home with budget-friendly decorating

By Jessica Manfre — SPONSORED

Home is where the heart is.

Multiple studies reveal that where and how you live can have negative or positive impacts on your mental health. With over 450,000 military families relocating every year, it’s vital their houses feel like home.

Maria Reed knows all about military life and the importance of the home. She is an Army spouse of 17 years who has moved countless times. Four years ago, she created “Moving With The Military,” a television series surprising military families with home makeovers.

“We see the home as a place that provides security, control, belonging, and peace. It’s the space in which military families reintegrate and can heal from the challenges of this life,” Reed said.

She added that without traditional support systems in place, military families have to quickly plant roots and build community. This includes setting up a new home, which is typically done at warp speed. The average military family will unpack their entire life and set it back up within days. Since military families know they’ll be moving within a few years, it leaves little time for the luxury of taking their time on design decisions. But it doesn’t have to take forever to turn your house into a home.

Reed suggested the first step should be determining the best flow for your layout, which can mean rearranging your furniture more than once. She also advises to shop in your own home, explaining that in the constant crush of PCS’ing, families can forget they have certain pieces. Once you have a basic idea of what is working and what is missing, you are on your way.

“Whether we rent, buy or live on post, I am a fan of large area rugs. They can disguise a less than desirable floor and they add color, visual interest, and texture,” Reed said.

She also recommends families use their walls, explaining when things go on the walls, we tend to feel more grounded to the space. Things like colorful curtains, shelving, and artwork can make a big difference.

Military families tend to stay away from painting because they know they’ll have to cover it up in a few years when they move. Reed says do it anyway.

“By painting or adding removable wallpaper to a focal wall, it can make a huge impact on the space and you don’t need a lot to make a statement,” she explained.

Reed is a big fan of adding greenery to any home because adding plants to a space can make any room feel alive. TIP: Even if you have a “black thumb” faux plants look just as good as the real ones.

Lastly, she highly encourages families consider DIY projects like refurbishing existing pieces with chalk paint, stain, or decoupage. She shared it is not only cost effective, but will also create happy memories for your new space.

In the end, no matter where the military sends your family, you can easily make your house into home with these budget-friendly tips. Share your design inspirations by tagging Caliber Home Loans on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ CaliberHomeLoansInc