2022 MF APRIL

Expect the unexpected

During our interview for this issue’s cover story, Shauna Connor confessed that when she first met her husband, Air Force Staff Sgt. Ben Connor, on a trip to Ace Hardware in their small Maryland town, she knew nothing about military life. Four months after Ben made a connection by commenting on her cowboy boots, they were engaged, and he told her he wanted to join the service.

“I had absolutely no idea what to expect,” she said. “I was born and raised in Florida and then I moved to Maryland. That was my only adventure. I had lived in the same house my entire life until that point.”

She caught on quickly. After Ben’s training in Texas, the Connors experienced their first PCS … to England. A few years later, he received orders only three days before they needed to head back stateside to Illinois for his second duty station at Scott Air Force Base.

Shauna knows this is only the beginning of a life in flux as Ben continues his journey with the Air Force. In fact, I found out as I was writing this letter that their family is moving to Joint Base San AntonioLackland in Texas this summer.

Thankfully, Shauna has found her own success in social media, a career that she can do from anywhere. Read about how the family got into vlogging and gained more than 18,000 followers in our “Behind the Scenes” feature story on page 10.

As part of our annual PCS issue, Writer Ashley Losoya also talked to a few spouses who offered advice on making a PCS work even with a client-based business. Find out what they think on page 22.

Another place to turn to for help? Learn about the nonprofit that aims to make the challenges of PCS season less stressful on page 14. No matter where military life takes you this season or the next, we can take a cue from the Connors. Shauna says she is now seasoned when it comes to expecting the unexpected, but it does not mean this family isn’t enjoying the journey.

Melissa M. Stewart Content Editor

This issue’s cover family, the Connors, announce their PCS from Illinois to Texas this summer.

by Melissa M. Stewart

Military Families Magazine by AmeriForce Media, LLC, is published 10 times a year for active-duty service members, veterans, and their families. Copies are available through participating family service centers, relocation offices, transition offices, base lodges, libraries, daycare centers, MWR activities and other locations by request. Unit requests can be made online at https:// militaryfamilies.com/print-magazines/

Individuals can order a free digital copy of this issue at https://militaryfamilies.com/digital-magazines/ Editorial comments can be emailed to managing.editor@ameriforcemedia.com

Military Families Magazine is published by AmeriForce Media, LLC, Bloomington, Indiana, a private company. Information and advertisements in this publication do not constitute endorsement by any branch of the military or the Department of Defense. No part of this publication may be copied without the express written permission of the publishers. AmeriForce Media, LLC, the publishers, and publisher’s agents make no endorsement of any advertised services or products and none should be inferred.

by Nikki Davidson by Jessica Manfre

by Amy Pottinger

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EDITORIAL

President and Publisher: Todd Taranto

Managing Editor: Bianca Strzalkowski

Content Editor: Melissa M. Stewart

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MIL FAM BRIEFS matters

According to the 2021 Military Saves Saver Survey, this percentage of respondents say taking the Military Saves Pledge has helped them to save money. April is Military Saves Month. To learn more: MiltarySaves.org.

Event: Celebrate the Month of the Military Child by participating in Purple Up Day on April 15. The day encourages everyone to wear purple to show support and thank military youth for their strength and sacrifices. For additional resources, including a 2022 Military Child Toolkit with downloads for posters, yard signs, certificates of recognition, T-shirt design, social media templates and more, visit MilitaryChild.org/MOMC_Toolkit

Honor the surviving loved ones of military service members killed in the line of duty on April 5 for Gold Star Spouses Day. For news, events and ways to help, visit GoldStarWives.org or Taps.org

Overheard:

Performance

The Virginia International Tattoo celebrates its 25th anniversary this year with a return to live performances from April 28-May 1 at Scope Arena in Norfolk, Virginia. “March On” includes Celtic piping, drumming, dance, precision drill teams and military bands rousing the crowd with singalong service songs of all branches. Unable to attend in person? Catch up with the latest happenings at VaFest.org/Virtual-connections

— Actor Chris Pine in the trailer for “The Contractor.”

In the film, set to release in theaters and on-demand April 1, Pine plays James Harper, a recently discharged Army special forces sergeant forced to convert to a covert military group in order to support his family.

The vaccines work and will remain a military medical requirement for our workforce. I continue to encourage everyone eligible for a booster shot to get one. This remains a readiness issue.”

– Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin III after testing positive for COVID-19 in January.

"WE GAVE THEM OUR MINDS, OUR BODIES AND OUR SPIRIT. AND THEY CHEWED US UP AND SPIT US OUT."

Photo by Spc. Lane Hiser

FAVORITES

Reads

Our Military Families Magazine Book Club pick for the month is “Honor” by Thrity Umrigar. The story follows investigative journalist Smita Agarwal, who arrives back in India to help out an injured friend … but it’s the last trip she wants to take. Born in Mumbai, Smita vowed never to return to the country after her family immigrated to America. Yet as she takes on a new assignment, she gets drawn in deeper to the truth of what happened to Meena, a Hindu woman whose Muslim husband was brutally murdered in an honor killing, and finds herself drawn deeper to India as well. Look for a full review this month on militaryfamilies.com and join us on our Facebook page to discuss with the #militaryfamiliesbookclub.

Resources revealed Buildasign.com offers free, 100% customizable banners for families celebrating the homecoming of a deployed loved one. Since 2008, the company has given away more than 337,000 welcome home banners, jumbo cards and yard signs. For more information: BuildASign.com/Troops

SNEAK PEEK

Don’t miss our May issue, when we unveil the celebrity military spouse featured on our cover. She talks balancing a new baby, her husband’s deployments and a (hint) thriving country music career. Also on tap — Coast Guard ramps up Arctic Mission Training, Travis Manion Foundation’s Memorial Day purpose, preparing for your military retirement and more.

GIVEAWAYS

Military Families Magazine will feature #militaryfamiliesfavorites throughout this month. Make sure to follow our Instagram page @militaryfamiliesmagazine, where we will give you the opportunity to win one of three, $30 gift cards from Alpha Coffee on April 15. The veteran- and military spouse-owned company is dedicated to offering customers amazing coffee, promoting the warrior lifestyle and giving back to military and veterans. And then on April 29, one lucky winner will receive a $100 gift card to The Ever Co., a veteranowned online shop and blog dedicated to “making every day a magical holiday” through unique and inspiring children’s clothing, prints, accessories and more.

BEYOND THE BASE

Naval Air Station Pensacola

Location: in the panhandle of Northwest Florida on the Gulf Coast

Military Population: 16,000 service members and 9,000 civilian personnel

Known as a starting point for many naval aviators, flight officers and aircrewmen, this installation in Escambia County is the headquarters for Naval Education and Training Command and the Blue Angels Naval Flight Demonstration Squadron. It was also the first Naval Air Station commissioned by the Navy in 1914. If you are currently stationed here, expect no shortage of beautiful beach activities on or near the water. Here are a few recommendations for your time beyond the base.

• Combine clear-bottom kayaks, warm nights and waterproof lights for a unique evening on the water with Glow Paddle.

• Pretend you are a Blue Angel and execute aerial maneuvers during a 4D experience at the National Naval Aviation Museum.

• Have the beach and unobstructed views of the Gulf all to yourself at Gulf Island National Seashore, the longest stretch of protected seashore in the U.S. (accessible by hike, bike or kayak).

• Cheer on the Blue Wahoos (Pensacola’s Minor League Baseball team) on Military Family Sundays, when service members receive discounted tickets and families enjoy a post-game run the bases and family toss in the outfield.

• Get spooked on a Haunted House Walking and Trolley Tour in Historic Pensacola

• Experience the impressive views of Escambia Bay on the walking trails throughout the Bay Bluffs Preserve

• Challenge your kids’ creativity during one of many Curiosity Days at the Pensacola MESS (Math, Engineering, Science and Stuff) Hall

• Take in some culture in Downtown Pensacola at Pensacola Museum of Art or Saenger Theatre.

• Eat your way around the world in one location at The Garden at Palafox + Main, Pensacola’s outdoor food hall.

Army reveals new in-depth climate change strategy

BY CRYSTAL KUPPER

When it comes to tackling real-world ramifications of climate change, the Army has big goals for the next three decades. Those aims, including electrifying Army vehicles and reducing Army-caused greenhouse gas emissions by half, were laid out during a recent media roundtable.

Paul Farnan, principal deputy assistant secretary of the Army for installations, energy and environment, told reporters that the new strategies will not detract from the Army’s national defense mission. Instead, he said, they will reinforce it.

“I think what people are going to see is one, the growing recognition that climate change is, in fact, a threat to our nation’s security, and it is in fact impacting how and where we operate,” he said. “Every one of these steps is going to increase the effectiveness of our fighting force.”

Concrete steps

Coinciding with the media briefing, Army leaders released a 20-page document describing the branch’s inaugural “Climate Strategy” containing those steps. The strategy details three “lines of effort,” or areas of

concentration, including Army installations, acquisition and logistics and training. Each one has its own set of goals, some stretching as far as the year 2050.

“For today’s soldiers operating in extreme temperature environments, fighting wildfires and supporting hurricane recovery, climate change isn’t a distant future, it is a reality,” wrote Secretary of the Army Christine Wormuth in the document’s intro. “We have a unique opportunity to improve our defense capabilities and become a more efficient force, while securing a better future.”

The impetus for the Climate Strategy, Army leaders said, is clear: as the planet experiences changes in temperature and precipitation levels, environmental and social systems also experience rippling upheaval. Take droughts and floods — as certain areas suffer from lack of or too much water, competition for available resources increases. Such events could lead to armed conflicts, greater inequality and crumbling governments. It may also lead to increased disaster response, as storms hit with greater severity and length.

The first line of effort, Farnan said, will be Army bases. If soldiers can ready each of the 130 Army bases for climate change, they will be better equipped for their primary goal of national security. To that end, installation goals include fielding an all-electric, lightduty, non-tactical vehicle fleet by 2027, installing a microgrid on every base by 2035, and reaching net-zero base-caused greenhouse gas emissions by 2045.

Secondly, the Army plans to tackle climate change challenges via the logistical side. Goals include drastically reducing operational energy and water usage and developing charging capabilities to meet the needs of incoming electric vehicles. Lastly, Army leaders hope to train soldiers on the topic, shooting for increased hires with “advanced credentials on climate change topics,” among other aims.

Industry partners

Farnan labeled the steps “not drastic changes” from what the Army is already doing. So far, everything is in the planning stage, with no incoming government funding or even estimated price tags. Farnan called that aspect of the strategy “a moving target.” He also appeared unconcerned about a possible future change in administration, saying that the Army’s improvement would “speak for itself.”

Farnan hopes the Army will soon partner with leaders in the energy and environmental industries. Such partnerships would play at least part of the financial puzzle.

“We’re going to be creative,” he said. “We’re going to look at every way to stretch the dollars.”

The alternative — ignoring climate change to save money — is no longer an option, Farnan said, especially for America’s military.

“In addition to defending this nation on the battlefield,” he said, “we also need to be good stewards of our environment and our resources here at home.”

Louisiana Army National Guard Light-Medium and Medium Tactical Vehicles transport flood relief supplies. Photo by 1st Sgt. Paul Meeker.

A Green Beret with 1st Special Forces Group (Airborne) sets up solar panels for operational communications at the National Training Center in Fort Irwin, California. Photo by Pfc. Lisa-Marie Miller.

Military family vloggers share life on camera

BY MELISSA M. STEWART

Photos by Zoe Life Photography

A few years ago, Shauna Connor found herself pregnant and lonely in England. Her husband, Air Force Staff Sgt. Ben Connor, worked long hours at their first duty station, and she had trouble making connections in an unfamiliar country. Then, life changed when she became a follower — on YouTube.

Shauna admits to spending a considerable amount of her free time on the video-sharing social media platform, gleaning from fellow moms-to-be and military spouses. And a few years later, her habit has turned into a thriving side hustle in addition to duties as a stay-athome mom. After starting her own YouTube channel in 2018, she has gained more than 18,000 followers and now spends much of her days as an influencer — planning content, editing vlogs and deciding on which reel ideas will garner the most attention.

“Anyone can do it in this day and age,” said Shauna about creating her brand. “As long as you are willing to be open-minded and continue evolving with the times. It takes hard work and dedication.”

While many military families have turned to social media as a way to earn extra income no matter where life takes them, Shauna says that for her family, embracing a vlogging lifestyle began first and foremost as an easy way to stay connected to Ben. Two weeks after they had their first child, Elodie, the Connors received news that Ben would deploy in a few months, leaving Shauna worried he would miss many of their daughter’s “firsts.”

“I started to realize that these people who are YouTubers and bloggers and everything, it’s awesome because they’re capturing family memories without even realizing it’s a job,” she said. “I thought Ben could watch the videos while he was deployed to feel a bit more connected.”

So, they invested in some necessary equipment and Shauna began to get comfortable talking to a camera, documenting the highs and lows of life and figuring out what sort of content resonated with her audience. The first vlog to take off was about Ben leaving for deployment.

Shauna says she started her new hobby without any expectations the channel would take off. She doubted anyone would be interested in watching what daily life entailed for her family.

“I feel like when you start social media there’s always that hope or that thought in the back of your mind of like, ‘I hope I can grow, and I hope I can help people. I hope that my channel and my content can get some traction. I can build a community, and they

can relate to me, and I relate to them and we can have this sense of security.’ But at the same time, I never thought it would happen. I had no idea I was going to grow on social media. You’re always ready and think it would be cool if it happened, but you also feel like it’s a one in a million chance.”

Keeping the momentum

Today, the Connors share life with their evergrowing audience from St. Louis while Ben is stationed at Scott Air Force Base. Shauna said the YouTube channel has morphed into a mix of motherhood (“Busy DITL with a newborn and toddler”) and general lifestyle (“Nest with me: kitchen clean and organizing”) with military life sprinkled in (“Finally explaining why we are moving”).

Her current favorite vlogs to produce are the ones that document her children’s milestones and birth stories, especially baby updates after adding a son, Oakley, to the family in September.

While vlogging on YouTube was Shauna’s first taste of social media success, she has since expanded her brand to both Instagram and TikTok, this time with more help from Ben. They plan content together for short reels — “what everyone is loving right now,” Shauna said — with Ben often offering entertaining ideas that get a laugh. Recent content with comedic value has involved Ben pouring cartons of expired milk on his head and dancing shirtless with some killer dad moves.

Part of the job as a vlogger is creating compelling and click-worthy YouTube graphics.

But the job of an influencer family isn’t always fun and games. Shauna says one 10-second reel takes up to three hours to produce, while YouTube vlogs require five hours of her time, not including the filming. Though she started this journey with “no video editing background,” Shauna says she has learned about equipment tips, shooting techniques and software galore through … social media.

“But even to this day, it’s a lot of learning and mistakes and figuring it out,” she said. “And that’s the hard thing with social media in general. No one gives you a playbook on how to do it.”

FOLLOW THESE FAMILIES

Here are a few other military family vloggers worth checking out on YouTube.

@PatriciaVergara @Simmons’Shenanigans @LifeWithTheScott’s @MySimpleBlessedLife @Becca&Nick

Ben added that a key thing the couple has figured out is to post regularly and keep the creativity going, no matter what.

“Be open to the fact that you will get into a rut,” he said. “You will have those times when life gets in the way of your work and you will need to take a break for whatever reason. Just know you need to get back into it.”

Social struggles and success

Of course, being creative and captivating also means being real. Shauna said it’s often difficult because she wants to touch on tough topics (living in England while Ben was deployed … during COVID) but also not come across as ungrateful for her life. There is a fine line between trying to be transparent and also protecting themselves, she says, particularly when considering the responsibility to portray a typical military family to thousands of viewers who may not be familiar with the lifestyle.

“I think it’s trying to depict that the military life isn’t always what you see from the outside,” she said. “I feel like a majority of people who aren’t military at all just think, ‘Yes, they risked their lives,’ and they’re so thankful that the troops do what they do for them, but they don’t know the behind-the-scenes things. They don’t know the commitments that are daily life. They don’t know the loneliness you feel as a family traveling to different places or the loneliness as a stay-at-home mom or the loneliness even as a service member.”

Ben added that an open-book life was hard for him to be comfortable with at first.

“I had just come out of basic training and they grill, grill, grill you about don’t put yourself on social media,” he explained. “It took me a while. Whereas now, I will put my uniform on and go down the slide with a fire extinguisher,” he joked about a recent reel. “At the end of the day, we’re just showing our lives and how we survive as a military family with this being my job.”

And the lifestyle often helps them thrive, as well, including Shauna being able to provide a second income. Her advice to other military families considering a social media career?

“A lot of the people we look up to are reachable or at our fingertips because of social media,” she said. “Use your resources.”

The Connors plan to continue finding ways to grow and add followers — and sponsors — on all platforms. Shauna says social media has

blessed her family and fulfilled her dream of being a stay-at-home-mom.

“I want to continue to scale and grow so that I can support our family more,” she said. “So that Ben’s job is honestly just serving our country and not so much trying to serve our country and support our family at the same time. That’s my ultimate goal.”

Follow the Connors on social media on YouTube @Shauna Connor and Instagram and TikTok @ShaunaPConnor.

NONPROFIT AIMS TO MAKE CHALLENGING PCS SEASON

LESS STRESSFUL

BY NIKKI DAVIDSON

That was until her family got the unexpected news that her husband would be transferring from South Korea to Florida last year. The stress of securing a suitable home in a competitive housing market during a pandemic was overwhelming. An added challenge? Figuring out how to get it all done while living in a time zone 14 hours ahead of their future home.

“It was probably the most difficult move we’ve done,” Castro said. “There’s a lot of moving parts with an overseas move in general. And then this time, we had a dog and kids, and it was pretty intense.”

After eight successful PCS moves, Marine spouse Shanon Castro felt ready for almost anything.

She came across a new nonprofit, Military No Stress PCS, on Facebook and asked for help. The organization will research homes, neighborhoods, schools, commute times, local services and community events as a complimentary concierge service to families during a PCS. The mission started in 2020 when civilian real estate professionals who worked with families near MacDill Air Force Base, Florida, saw a need for a global network of professionals.

According to the Department of Defense, 400,000 service members will PCS this year. Funded by grants and donations, Military No Stress PCS aims to make what promises to be another stressful season more manageable.

“We just want to be here to help you,” said Program Coordinator Erin Lorenz. “If you’re stressed about looking up schools for your kid, send us a message, and we will look it up for you. We just want to help make at the very least one part of it less stressful.”

Castro said the nonprofit was a game-changer in finding their eventual house. In the past, she had scoured military Facebook groups for information about new places. But with the help of Military No Stress PCS, she was getting advice from an expert tailored to her family’s needs.

“Yes, you can read what everybody says, but you don’t really know what their priorities are as a family or what’s important to them,” said Castro. “[Military No Stress PCS] really got a feel for what you would be okay with and

what you’re not and what things you would be searching for.”

Inside knowledge about lesser-known neighborhoods or parts of town could prove crucial for military families making a move this year. According to the real estate company RE/MAX’s National Housing Report, last year ended with the lowest number of homes for sale on record, and houses were only on the market for an average of 31 days.

Military No Stress PCS’s network includes 47 real estate professionals in 87 CONUS and 12 OCONUS locations. According to nonprofit founder Rob Schelle, they’re often able to provide leads on houses or rentals before they’re made public.

“We can at least assist in getting ahead of the curve and be aggressively ready to go, so people are positioned in a good place,” said Schelle.

Many families are also dealing with delays in their household goods transports. According to the Defense Property Program data, at the end of last year’s summer PCS season, only 58% of household goods delivered arrived on time.

Military No Stress PCS works to ease the stress of waiting for those items in an empty

house. In one situation, they were able to lend a family staging furniture until their items arrived.

“We were able to give them a bed to sleep on, give them a dining room table and chairs,” Schelle said. “It was nothing crazy or fancy, but they weren’t sleeping on a mattress on the floor. We’re able to provide things of that nature, and we get creative at times.”

As the nonprofit grows, its leaders are on a mission to connect with more professionals in the military community. They’re on the lookout to partner with other PCS services and veteran businesses to provide families with a network of trusted referrals in their new homes.

Castro and her family have now successfully settled in Florida, and she’s thankful for the nonprofit’s help in pulling the challenging move off.

“It was just really nice to have somebody that we really trusted here to help carry the burden of trying to search for the perfect home and community,” she said.

learn more about Military No Stress PCS, visit militarynostresspcs.org.

To

“It was just really nice to have somebody that we really trusted here to help carry the burden of trying to search for the perfect home and community.”

— Marine spouse Shanon Castro

Military No Stress PCS helped the Castro family secure a house they love in a competitive market during a recent PCS from South Korea to Florida.

ALWAYS COMMITTED

Silver Star spouse reflects on love, loss and true cost of service

BY JESSICA MANFRE

A personal war ended for retired Army Maj. Darren Baldwin when he passed away in December 2021. After 17 years of fighting through injuries caused by blasts in Iraq, his wife, Bianca, knows he’s finally at peace.

Now she’s continuing the battle for others.

The Department of Veterans Affairs estimates 41% of post-9/11 veterans have disabilities. Silver Star families are those loved ones of service members wounded, ill or injured in the line of duty for our nation.

Though recipients of the military’s thirdhighest combat decoration receive recognition, like Baldwin did, sometimes the support fades along with the uniform they no longer wear.

But long before IEDs stole his ability to move or speak, Baldwin was a handsome young soldier with a twinkle in his eye and a leather jacket.

“I’m from Germany and he was stationed in the city where I was going to university,” Bianca explained. “I was out with my

girlfriends and it was tequila night. Typically, they don’t let Americans, Turks or Russians in the bar because they start fights.”

But Baldwin spoke perfect German and made his way inside.

“I looked over and saw this guy swinging his leather jacket like he was John Travolta in ‘Grease,’” she laughed. Before long they were dancing and talking, and although he lost his jacket, he got her number.

Baldwin grew up in Ohio and graduated from West Point in 1998. After witnessing the 9/11

terrorist attacks from his unit in Germany, he decided to pursue Special Forces and graduated as a Green Beret in 2003.

During his second tour in Iraq in March 2005, Baldwin sustained his first traumatic brain injury from a roadside IED. Two weeks later, there was another.

“When he got hit the first time everything went radio silent,” Bianca shared. “But then he called me and said he was fine. A few days later he said he was feeling nauseous and having headaches. I told him he needed to go see someone at medical and he did. But they just gave him IV fluids and a Z-Pack of antibiotics.”

Baldwin returned home in June, and Bianca said she immediately knew things weren’t right.

“He was short-tempered, there were personality changes and he was getting off balance a lot,” she said. “But he didn’t want to go see anyone, and it wasn’t terrible yet. He was still running, but sometimes he’d call me and I’d have to pick him up because he’d gotten so dizzy, he couldn’t get back.”

The following year, Baldwin deployed again, but the assignment ended when he was offered the position of aide-de-camp to the Army Special Forces commanding general at Fort Bragg, North Carolina.

“It was the best thing that could have happened because he had to do outprocessing to get ready for Bragg. Darren finally told the group surgeon he’d been having issues and they did a brain scan,” Bianca said.

That’s when they found more than 60 lesions on his brain.

A new battle begins

A journey began of consulting with the medical professionals as they threw out diagnoses like brain cancer, multiple sclerosis or infection.

“It literally looked like someone threw confetti all over his brain,” Bianca added.

From there, he was sent to Walter Reed Medical Center, but research into traumatic brain injuries was still in its infancy, as was the technology to detect the impacts. The couple continued fighting for the proper diagnosis and treatment but was eventually told by a neurologist if they went any further, medical discharge would begin.

“Darren was scared of losing his career because he loved what he did and it’s how he identified himself,” Bianca explained. “Now, he was a wonderful husband and loved me, but he didn’t want to lose that.”

When the couple made the trek from Fort Carson, Colorado, to Fort Bragg, North Carolina, the headaches and sickness progressed — all while Baldwin continued to work and serve. By 2009, things weren’t manageable anymore, and he finally told his command what was happening. This is when Baldwin and Bianca began working with the Care Coalition, The 98 Fund (started by his West Point classmates) and the Green Beret Foundation

In September 2013, Baldwin medically retired with a combat-related injury. At this point, he could not walk and slowly lost his ability to speak. The costs for treatments not covered now that he’d left active duty began mounting.

“It feels like our service members needing long-term care tend to fall by the wayside,” Bianca said. “I don’t want to say people forget about you, but they don’t really see what’s going on. Once you leave places like Walter

Reed, it’s all on you and your life changes forever.”

Despite the significant injuries and changes to Baldwin’s quality of life, Bianca said he was always smiling.

“We had a good life, but it was still challenging all the time,” she said.

From navigating TRICARE for Life, VA benefits and eventually, Medicare, it was a constant battle to ensure Baldwin received what he needed.

“A lot of veterans don’t have what we did and they tend to get lost in the sauce,” said Bianca. “This is why we see marriages fail and families falling apart.”

The two became trailblazers in advocating for Silver Star Families, and it’s a fight Bianca says she is committed to continuing, for Baldwin.

Though he spent more than a decade struggling with his severe injuries as a result of war, he told his mother, Fran BaldwinWesseling, something profound before he lost his speech.

I’d do it all over again.

Bianca expressed how the pandemic, and eventually watching the crisis and bombing at the end of the Afghanistan withdrawal, took its toll on Baldwin. By the end of summer 2021, he’d entered hospice. The couple was able to make one last trip to the beach, where they’d made a promise to fight his injuries together so many years before.

“In his way, he told me he was ready to put his weapons down and end the war,” Bianca shared through tears. “But even in his last hours he didn’t want to let go because he just loved life so much. I prayed with him and to God to give him the strength to know it was OK to let go. And he did.”

FOUNDATION REUNITES

COMBAT VETERANS AND GOLD STAR FAMILIES

BY LYNN BEHA

More than 1,500 combat veterans and Gold Star families have reconnected at reunions funded and organized by the Warrior Reunion Foundation (WRF) in the past four years, and up to 1,000 more will reunite in 2022.

Founded in 2017 by Marine combat veterans James Ferguson and Drew St. Cyr, WRF “supports combat veterans in overcoming the challenges of post-military transition by reconnecting those who served together overseas” through reunions that build camaraderie and community.

“One of the most dangerous things you can do is to isolate people,” said Bart Cole, executive director of WRF and a Marine combat veteran.

Cole says that service members who return from combat often put emotional distance between themselves and a deployment. They frequently retreat into small pockets of isolation from others who served, trying to individually reconcile the disparity of life in combat versus life at home.

“Speaking from my own experience, combat veterans were relied upon in an intense way,” explained Cole. “There was love, communication, transparency and honesty you don’t get in the civilian world.”

Sometimes this change in expectations leads to tragedy. VA’s 2020 National Veteran Suicide Prevention Annual Report reported 17.6 veteran suicides per day in 2018.

WRF reunions are community events designed to counter feelings of isolation. A unit’s planning team works with the organization to create meaningful activities that meet the needs of their group, to leave them feeling reconnected.

“We pull [veterans] and Gold Star families together to rebuild their small community. It’s like a large family,” said Cole. “It’s a chance to sit around fires and be transparent and open. They laugh, bury old hatchets, let it go. It’s good medicine. After these reunions, it feels like a weight has been lifted. There are better relationships. They see that they were cared about all along. And they leave knowing they can be in each other’s lives.”

WRF emphasizes the importance of including Gold Star families in the event and planning process. There’s a bond between the families and those who served with the fallen, built through letters to and from home and shared care packages during deployment.

“Just because that person is removed — by death in combat or suicide, or in another deployment — that love is still there,” said Cole. He says that frequently these reunions offer a chance for Gold Star families to open up the narrative surrounding their fallen loved ones. Parents, widows and children have the opportunity to hear from their command staff and peers to learn more of the story.

Most reunions by WRF are at the company level, hosting 120-200 attendees. Past reunions have been held in Montana, Indiana, Maryland, Tennessee, Alabama and Texas. WRF arranges for food, events and lodging, covering costs of everything on site. Applications for reunions in 2023 are currently being accepted online at www. warriorreunionfoundation.org/get-started

The best way to support WRF is to follow it on social media: on Facebook @WarriorReunion, Instagram @ warriorreunionfoundation and Twitter @ WarriorReunion

“Maybe there’s someone you don’t know is a vet who you’ll reach,” said Cole.

As a nonprofit, WRF relies on donations and fundraising to support its operations. It hosts bi-annual group hikes to raise funds for reunions. You can learn more and see other ways to donate here: www.warriorreunionfoundation.org/ donate-online.

Photo by Mollie Wenzel Photography

PICNIC

Roll out the blanket for a simple yet sophisticated spread

BY AMY POTTINGER

More and more often, I see people of all ages gathering together and eating outdoors. Gone are the days of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with a bag of chips as picnic staples. Nothing against either of these food items, but sometimes a girl likes to feel fancy. So, I am helping you turn your casual picnic into something sophisticated yet simple to execute.

This grilled steak sandwich with whipped goat cheese and roasted garlic spread, along with flavor-packed pasta salad, is anything but boring. In fact, a similar sandwich I made during my time on the Food Network received rave reviews from celebrity chefs Bobby Flay and Giada De Laurentiis.

Grab the prosecco or sparkling water plus a few friends and head down to your local park for a tasty, outdoor social gathering that checks all the boxes.

STEAK SANDWICH

Makes 4, 6-inch sandwiches

Steak ingredients:

1 pound flank steak

1/2 cup finely ground coffee

1/3 cup brown sugar

2 tablespoons sea salt

1 tablespoon garlic powder

1 tablespoon onion powder

1/2 tablespoon smoked paprika

1 teaspoon cayenne

1 teaspoon cinnamon

2 tablespoons olive oil

Steak instructions: Mix all of the dry ingredients together in a lidded container and shake vigorously. Lightly drizzle the steak with olive oil and rub into the steak. Rub the dry ingredients into the steak a few tablespoons at a time. Flip over and repeat. (You will have some extra dry rub that you can store in a small mason jar for later.) If you would like, allow it to sit for 30 minutes before cooking. Grill to desired cook temperature and allow it to rest before cutting. When you cut the steak, cut it into thin slices against the grain of the meat for a more tender bite.

Tomato jam ingredients:

1 1/2 pounds grape tomatoes

2 lemons, juiced

1 cup white sugar

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Tomato jam instructions: Add all ingredients into a saucepan on medium-low heat, stirring occasionally for about 30 minutes. This can be transferred to a jar for future use as well.

Whipped goat cheese spread ingredients:

1 head garlic

8 ounces goat cheese

1 tablespoon olive oil

Salt

Whipped goat cheese spread instructions: Take a knife and cut the top off of the garlic so that the tops of the cloves are exposed. Place it on a sheet of tin foil, drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with salt. Make an envelope with the foil and bake at 400 degrees for 30 minutes until the garlic is golden brown. Combine the goat cheese and garlic cloves pressed out of the head in a food processor. Blend until smooth and whipped.

Other ingredients:

French baguette

Arugula

Balsamic vinegar

Assembly instructions:

Slice bread in half and lightly toast if desired. Spread a few tablespoons of tomato jam onto the lower piece of bread. Add arugula on top of the tomato jam and dress with just a bit of balsamic vinegar. Add the sliced steak. On the top piece of bread, generously spread the whipped goat cheese. Close the sandwich and serve.

PASTA SALAD

Makes 8 cups

Ingredients:

8 ounces orecchiette pasta (or any small pasta: orzo, rotini, etc.)

3 ounces mini mozzarella balls, halved

4 ounces grape tomatoes, halved

1/2 cup Kalmata olives, pitted, halved

2 roasted red peppers, cut into fine strips

8 ounces artichoke hearts, coarsely chopped

2 ounces basil, chiffonade

1 cup crumbled feta

1/2 cup EVOO

1/2 cup balsamic vinegar

1/4 cup lemon juice

3 tablespoons honey

1-2 garlic cloves, micro planed

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon red pepper flakes

1 teaspoon Dijon mustard

Instructions:

Add EVOO, balsamic, lemon juice, honey, garlic, salt, red pepper flakes and Dijon into a jar, shake vigorously and set aside. Cook the pasta al dente, drain and add into a large mixing bowl. Add the mozzarella balls, grape tomatoes, kalamata olives, roasted red peppers, artichoke hearts, basil and feta. Add the dressing 1/2 cup at a time until all the ingredients are well dressed. Chill and serve.

BLOOM WHERE YOU’RE PLANTED

How spouses successfully PCS with a client-based career

BY ASHLEY LOSOYA

Military spouses from all branches of service and nearly every industry have relocated successfully time and again. We spoke with two women who say every PCS is an opportunity to grow and thrive.

Prepare for the inevitable

Ayren Pfeifer is enjoying the fruits of her labor. After 20 years of serving in the Marines, her husband retired at the end of 2021. As you’d guess, that means she’s survived several relocations.

“After 20 years, you become conditioned to wait for orders,” Pfeifer said. “Preparing yourself for the inevitable makes the transition easier.”

Pfeifer started her career as a realtor in Virginia Beach, Virginia, only to receive orders to Beaufort, South Carolina, a few years later. She knew she had to find a way to stand out if she wanted to be profitable, so she decided to learn everything she could about the VA home loan.

“One of the things that helped me find success was thinking of new and out-of-thebox ways to get clients,” Pfeifer said.

To attract military families, she decided to give both buyers and sellers a bonus at closing. It was a strategic offer that changed everything.

“I closed 20 deals my second year in Beaufort, which is unheard of for an independent agent,” Pfeifer said. In fact, it landed her among the top 50 agents in the city.

But the orders eventually came, as they always do.

Pfeifer soon found herself in San Diego, California, juggling two kids and a career in transition. To make matters more difficult, her husband immediately deployed upon their arrival.

“That was probably the hardest time in my career because I was like, ‘What am I doing? Why am I trying to do so much at once?’”

Fortunately, it all paid off. Today, she leads the bicoastal Pfeifer Real Estate Team, serving clients in both California and South Carolina.

“It is so hard, but if you expect to find success in your professional life, friendships, or even in parenting, you’ve got to put the work in,” Pfeifer said. “You have to go through those tough moments to have the good ones.”

The Pfeifer family

Hit the ground running

Kristin Bendigo is an Air Force spouse and photographer currently based in Tucson, Arizona.

“After I shot my first wedding, I think I sat in my car and cried,” Bendigo said. “I just thought, ‘I want to do this for the rest of my life.’”

With that in mind, she wasn’t going to let a PCS from Wichita Falls, Texas, to Arizona derail her dreams, even if it meant starting over.

“I was nervous, but I also knew that I could do it,” Bendigo said.

She says the best strategy when starting over is instantly plugging into your new community.

“Getting involved is the best way to start,” she said. “All it takes is that one person to hire you, and then it’s just word of mouth after that.”

From online groups to squadron mixers, nothing should be off-limits when it comes to making connections.

“There’s much more to owning a photography business than pointing and clicking,” Bendigo

added. “The biggest part is selling yourself. Market on Facebook, make friends with people in different groups wherever you’re stationed. You have to put yourself out there.”

Find a mentor

Above all, both women stressed the importance of leaning on other military spouses. If you can find someone in the same business, even better.

“Learning how to pick up your business and move it across the country is not common for most people,” Bendigo added. “It’s a good idea to get together with another military spouse who has done the exact same thing.”

For Bendigo, a friendship with a fellow military spouse photographer even blossomed into a mutual referral program. “If she was unavailable, she’d send people to me and vice versa.”

Pfeifer echoes the same advice, adding that there’s always enough business to go around.

“You don’t need to be competitive,” Pfeifer said. “Everybody can be successful. Surrounding yourself with people who understand what you’re dealing with when times are really tough is essential.”

Photographer and military spouse Kristin Bendigo says instantly plugging yourself into the community is a great way to succeed with a client-based business.

Pfeifer now leads a bicoastal real estate team, serving clients in both California and South Carolina.

The Bendigo family

TO BUILD RESILIENCY IN KIDS

BY KATE LEWIS

The Magical Yet, Angela DiTerlizzi

Often touted as a life-changing mind-shift, helping kids move their thoughts from “I can’t do this” to “I can’t do this … yet” is an important step in building grit. This book takes a whimsical look at a magical ‘Yet’ who accompanies a small child in tackling some of life’s earliest and most-difficult challenges and helps to change the child’s thinking. Kids will love how the character learns to try, try again.

Resilience, Jayneen Sanders

Military children are often lauded for the resiliency that naturally comes along with multiple moves, new schools and the endless cycle of making friends that make up their young lives, yet parents are often left searching for guidance on how to build and bolster that resiliency before it becomes necessary. How do you teach kids to face life’s challenges? How can you encourage them to keep going when life gets difficult?

These five picture books — all geared to the under-8 set — aim to give both parents and kids a solid foundation in grit, before it’s needed.

A Perfectly Messed Up Story, Patrick McDonnell

In this charmer of a story from legendary illustrator Patrick McDonnell, main character Louie skips along … until he encounters a jelly stain within the pages of his pristine book world. It only gets worse from there, and Louie learns some hard lessons about how to deal with life when it gets messy. This hilarious, heartwarming story will have kids laughing along, even as they learn to endure the unexpected mess-ups that make up everyone’s life.

This sweetly illustrated book reminds kids of the challenges they’ve already overcome — crawling, walking, learning to swim — and encourages discussion and reflection about how they achieved those milestones. Focused on building the skills kids need to face life’s tough times, author Sanders hopes to encourage parents too. By modeling self-esteem and self-reliance, parents can help pave a path for their kids toward those qualities in themselves. The book includes a discussion guide and ideas to take the text further for your kids, and questions on every page invite kids to reflect on how they’ve grown.

Resiliency — often known informally as grit — is one of the most important life skills kids can master. In some studies, grit matters more to long-term success than any other factor, including skills or intelligence.

The Thing Lou Couldn’t Do, Ashley Spires

In this clever picture book, Lou wants to keep up with her friends, but when it comes to heights, she’s a bit skittish. Not even a pirate ship game at the top of the tree can lure her up — until her friends realize she’s scared and offer to help. Lou doesn’t conquer her fear on the first, second or even third try. She focuses on the power of “yet” and vows to keep practicing until she gets it.

Slumberkins: Resilience Book Set

With stories about big family changes for Fox that include themes such as comfort, trusting yourself, creativity and holding your worries, there’s something for every family within this short five-book board set. Military families can receive 10% off their Slumberkins’ orders. There’s an online component with resources and guides for caregivers available for additional support.

Marine veteran sees the light with successful energy-audit company

BY DON HARRISON

Chris Rawlings with wife, Jessica, and daughter Scarlett.

Photo by KSmithson Photography.

Chris Rawlings was a contractor working for Northrop Grumman when he, in his words, “got into energy.”

“Aircraft maintenance work had slowed down,” recalls the 37-year-old Marine combat veteran. “My bosses came to me and asked if I could find some things to save money and reduce costs. So, I started taking a look around the building, at the lighting fixtures, HVAC, leaking air hoses, and I thought, well, there’s a lot of money out the door right there.”

Today, with a team that includes his wife, Jessica, and father Don, Rawlings serves as the president and CEO of the Richmond, Virginia-based Bowerbird Energy. With a five-person staff and various subcontractors, Bowerbird does large-scale energy audits, designing, building and managing energy projects that create healthier buildings, generate savings and reduce carbon emissions.

Formerly known as VeteranLED, Bowerbird has consulted on a wide range of building projects —nursing homes, museums, schools, manufacturing centers — and worked with large national clients ranging from The Gap clothing chain to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, even NATO.

Rawlings says Bowerbird’s approach cuts across political and corporate divides.

“If you are speaking the language of saving money,” he said, “you are speaking bipartisan language.”

Rawlings, twice deployed to Iraq in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom, is a pied piper for LED lighting, and much of Bowerbird’s business comes from retrofitting buildings with cheaper, more environmentally friendly LED technology.

“A lot of what we still do is education,” he said. “We talk about how changing from compact fluorescent or incandescent bulbs to LED can really add up to savings, for example.”

In seven years, Bowerbird has grown to become an ESCO-certified Energy Services Company, branching out into alt-power storage, electric vehicle maintenance and air quality control.

“Chris has really put in the hard work to build the business,” said Jessica, who is Bowerbird’s principal consultant. The couple met just as Bowerbird was getting launched, when Rawlings was working as a bartender at night and, as he says, “selling light bulbs door to door.”

“My wife has been very successful in her corporate role, working in HR, but on her off time, she guides and directs me and the company on certain things, like hiring and retaining folks,” Rawlings said.

In other words, Jessica does Bowerbird’s own energy audits. “Yes,” he laughed. “A different kind of energy.”

With a 2-year-old daughter, Scarlett, and another on the way, the Rawlings house is a busy one — “we like it that way,” said Jessica. She works full time for Cognizant, a major

IT consulting firm that helps Fortune 500 companies like Capital One, Anthem and Merrill Lynch.

“It’s so rewarding to see him really flourish and grow the business,” she said. “He gives me credit for pushing him to do this full time, but I think he would’ve done it anyway.”

Jessica says serving in the military helped her husband.

“It’s the work ethic,” she said. “Chris will tell you himself, he was not a good student growing up. He didn’t do well in school. He didn’t focus, and I think the military taught him how to do that. Now he pushes himself and excels in problem-solving.”

Since 2019, Rawlings has taken on another role — talk show host. He now oversees the Energy Sense podcast, which spotlights different aspects of the alternative energy trade. One interesting episode of the show, which is available on iTunes, Spotify and other podcast networks, takes a deep dive into why so many former military officers, like Rawlings, go into the energy field when they leave the service.

Rawlings thinks that since energy plays such a big role in our national defense, it’s another way for vets to serve.

“With oil and fuel and transportation, energy is very closely related to politics and the wars we’ve been in,” he said, speaking to the potential benefits of alternative energy. “Being a Marine in Iraq, we’ve all heard the horror stories of IEDs, the largest killer of air soldiers and Marines. A lot of times we are transporting fuel sources to and from areas when we encounter those. But if we can potentially reduce the amount of convoys on the ground in combat zones by building microgrids and energy solutions, we can save lives.”

Outdoor LED lighting project done by Bowerbird Energy for The River Lofts at Tobacco Row in Richmond, Virginia.

A recent project at Carroll Lutheran Village in Westminster, Maryland, involved Bowerbird helping with the retirement community’s green project, including LED retrofit, exterior fixtures and motion sensors.

FIRM FEET, LOOSE FOOTING Learning to embrace an ever-changing military life

BY KAILYN RHINEHART

Photo by Kala C Photography

I hear my husband’s boots meet each stair. He squints into the movie room, an unexpected perk to our current rental.

After leaning down to kiss my head, he meets my gaze and asks, “What’s your ideal date to be there?”

His question needs no context. He has the answer we’ve spent weeks waiting for — when we’ll move next. I oscillate between impatient and annoyed, rolling my eyes.

“Whatever, just tell me,” I huff.

“No, no, if you could pick any date, when would it be?” Deftly, but lovingly, he yields to my need for control. Though in this aspect of our life, I have none.

Annoyed, I answer anyway. “I don’t know, I need at least a month home … ” my voice trails off.

“March 1,” he says. I don’t have to do the math to know we will be in our home for 30 days before leaving again.

***

At 16, I became the “new girl” for the first time in my life. I transferred from my tiny private school to our town’s massive one. I only knew two other people and can still tell you what I wore on the first day. After much agonizing, I decided on jean capris with holes above the knees and a pink tank top. I didn’t like the color pink, and I hated how nervous I felt. Pink somehow gave the 16-year-old girl needing to feel accepted hope that it would be okay. But no outfit could hide how terrified I was of starting over. My new class had almost 300 students. I didn’t know any of the teachers and got lost daily for weeks.

On the first day, the teachers in each class introduced me. Some offered sympathetic glances at my discomfort. Some mispronounced my name, as many often did, adding a T where there isn’t one. Not wanting to stand with eyes on me any longer than necessary, I sat down rather than correct them.

***

My husband and I dated for four years. I knew I would marry him and we’d start a future together. I recognized the military would make most of our major decisions, but I didn’t know I would eventually be OK with it. Four times in eight years of marriage, my husband has come home to tell me our next location. Each time, it gets easier and somehow more difficult.

Before we move to a new place, I scout locations of parks and nearby activities for my kids. I scour groups and save posts. We will adjust flawlessly. It will be great. Everyone will love it there. We will all find friends instantly. The lies I tell myself sound good, but each transition comes with inevitable complications.

My daughter has lived in five different states before her 5th birthday. I lived in the same state until I moved out of my parent’s house at 18 to marry my husband.

“Won’t that be hard for her?” my mother asks.

“It is what it is,” I say through gritted teeth, shrugging off concerns I know I can’t control.

We moved last year. Shortly after, we had the option to join my husband at his training. This technically meant moving again. Half a year there, home, half a year elsewhere and home again. We rarely have the choice of staying together in this life, so we soaked up the unforeseen blessings of a year filled with upheaval. Despite knowing we made the right choice, it wasn’t always easy to adjust.

***

I used to wonder what would have happened if I stayed at that same school until senior year. Or what would have happened if I didn’t marry that boy in uniform and move away. I wondered what staying in those comfortable places would look like. Knowing I can’t go back, I blink away those questions with ease.

This life — constant new people and places, not flinching to three new addresses in a year, relinquishing control over the state we live in — has changed me. The confidence I feel now, as opposed to 15 or even five years ago, is unrivaled.

Among shifting and loose footing, it’s given me firm feet.

In my first months of motherhood, I saw a lactation consultant. On my second visit, l expressed my frustration at feeling dismissed by our pediatrician. In that tiny room behind the hospital’s maternity wing, this woman I hardly knew reached across the rocking chair to squeeze my shoulder. Gently but firmly, she took my hand and looked me in the eye.

“Mama,” she said, “sometimes you have to stomp your feet a bit.”

I’m not sure when it happened — when I started to stand rather than shrink down, or when I learned to stomp my feet. At some point, I adapted to a lifestyle I didn’t grow up in and choose to look at it with a new appreciation.

As it turns out, I’m kind of grateful for the recurring role of new girl.

Sometimes l still feel like that 10th grader in the pink tank top when we move to a new place. But I know I am far from her in so many ways. Each place arms me with a confidence I never knew existed before. I throw myself into finding the best place to live and exciting things for our family to do

I hope to give my children the gift of standing firm, even when their footing changes. I hope they’ll learn to stomp their feet wherever they go in life.

Oh, and these days?

I rarely wear pink. And when people get my name wrong, I correct them.

Photo by Tessa Fulmer

Q&A WITH A VETERAN AND HIS BEST FRIEND

BY MELISSA M. STEWART

Despite hearing aids and a cochlear implant, Army veteran Stephen Hood’s hearing was rapidly deteriorating, making daily tasks challenging and dangerous for the retired Chicago police officer. Fortunately, his outlook on life turned around when he found NEADS World Class Service Dogs. The nonprofit connected him with Charlotte, the highly trained working dog who now never leaves his side.

How long did it take for you to bond with Charlotte?

One day. And now she really doesn’t like to be away from me. I take her pretty much every place I go — grocery store, on an airplane, you name it.

What are some of the things she helps you with?

Well one of the things that’s most annoying, when my wife calls me, she gives me a kick [laughs]. When the doorbell rings, she will come over to me and run to the door. If I drop something, she will pick it up. At night, when my hearing aids come out, I am really profoundly deaf, and my wife travels somewhat. So, I am alone here. If a fire alarm or other alarm goes off, I’m not going to hear it. Charlotte wakes me up. Prior to having her, I had a lot of anxiety at night.

Do you have any funny service dog stories?

At a restaurant, I will put her under a table or booth. She will lay down and stay there the entire time. When I’m done, she’ll come out. I’ve had some very strange looks. Most people don’t even realize there’s a dog under there.

How do you keep Charlotte’s skills sharp?

When I first got her, she was already trained — they [NEADS] were actually training me. But you still have to keep it up. We practice all of the time.

What do you think of the NEADS experience?

What I would tell other military people or former veterans that have any type of problems is that NEADS may have a dog that can help. Even if you’re not certain you need a service dog, go ahead and talk to them.

Photos by Courtney Laper of Courtney Michelle Photography