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SALES
ONCE UPON A TIME
GayTL’s own Michael and Alex will marry in Times Square on New Year’s Eve. Here’s how boy meets boy and takes all of Atlanta on a fairytale ride to their happy ending.
24
FRIENDS & FAMILY
44
GET HIM
Most of the year, you can’t tell gays embraced by family from ones estranged from their blood origins. Now’s the time that making a place at your table can go an extra long way.
The D(avid) List returns, this time pointing our gay male truth gun at tried-and-true ways to get and keep a man. See what readers said, and submit your ideas for a future D List.
48
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DISTRIBUTION Christopher Dixon
If your deepest desires tend toward kink but you haven’t let yourself go there, check out Kink 101: our quick intro to six popular fetishes that you might want in your repertoire.
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“★★★★. GORGEOUS, HEARTBREAKING AND UNFORGETTABLE.” REX REED, NEW YORK OBSERVER
“A BEAUTIFUL AND POIGNANT LOVE STORY THAT TRANSCENDS STEREOTYPES OF GENDER, SEXUALITY AND ROMANCE.” ERIN WHITNEY, HUFFINGTON POST
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datebook
where to go and what to do this week
CIRQUE MUSICA All the acrobatics and symphonics you love collides with more Holiday Spectacular sparkle that you can handle. Gird your senses for an experience sure to put you on the edge of your seat and in awe of the beauty and thrills in this seasonal show. Sunday, Dec. 20, 6 p.m. • Philips Arena • One Philips Drive • cirquemusica.com
12 | 12.16.15
photo: Project Q
UGLY SWEATER PARTY
MERRY XXX-MESS PARTY
HO! HO! HOLIDAY HAT PARTY
Break out that heinous catastrophe you got as a present last year and brace yourself for one wild night of laughing, drinking and singing. Prizes go out to the top three ugliest sweaters, plus everyone can get in on Christmas Karaoke.
Sit o naughty Santa’s lap or do dirty things under the mistletoe. It’s time for the annual irreverent solute to the season as only the queers of East Atlanta can do it. Come do DJs Sam Rothstein and Ree de la Vega, Santa’s Little Radical Faeries, and pics with St. Nick.
Theme nights and creative costumes are one of the things that BJ’s does best. That means your most creative holiday hat will make this party sing. The other thing they do is sexy strippers, and Santa’s Go-Go Elves are sure to bring out the best in you.
Friday, Dec. 18, 9 p.m. • Oscar’s Atlanta • 1510 Piedmont Ave NE • oscarsatlanta.com
Friday, Dec. 18, 9 p.m. • Mary’s • 1287 Glenwood Ave. SE • marysatlanta.com
Saturday, Dec. 19, 9 p.m. • BJ Roosters • 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road
davidatlanta.com | 13
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Miss Ruck N Maul with the Atlanta Bucks
photos: Russ Youngblood
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Friday Night at Burkhart’s
photos: Russ Youngblood
love of your life, but how about you throw a curve ball and put out an album with some dirty talking, dry humping tracks? Think less tissues and more bed room sheets. More Fetty Wap and less Celine Dion. You can do it. RIHANNA “I, Rihanna, promise that in 2016 I will stop being so ratchet and put out an album.” We get it: You’re edgy. You like to drink, show off your boobs, and get high. You are so hood. But how about we put all that ratchetness into some quality music. Go back to old Rihanna and make me dance all night long, not think about bitches owing me money. OK, well you can be a little ratchet, “but don’t get crazy” (in my best Bon Qui Qui impression). BRITNEY SPEARS “This year, I will stop making music with Will.i.am.” Just stop. If you’re thinking about collaborating with this person again, hold up. Will.i.am hasn’t put out a decent track since… well since ever, excluding Estelle’s “American Boy” that was banging. All shade aside, the dude is pretty flippin’ talented, but Britney you need to work with some other people who are ahead of the game, not still holding onto the glory years of “Boom Boom Pow.” #eyeroll
New Year’s music resolutions EVEN AS YOU INDULGE YOURSELF THIS SEASON, DON’T FORGET THAT WE’RE HURTLING TOWARD THOSE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS. HERE ARE SOME WE WISH THESE RECORDING ARTISTS WOULD MAKE – AND KEEP – FOR THEIR OWN GOOD AS WELL AS OURS. You remember setting yourself up for failure – um, I mean making some well-intentioned promises to yourself – for 2015, right? How did you score? Do all of them? Keep at least one? None? Well don’t you worry, these aren’t judging eyes. The cool thing about resolutions is that everyone makes them – even famous people! These are the ones that I created in my head about a few artists who I wish would take my advice and make the pledge to make a change in 2016. ADELE “2016 will be the year that I stop being so sad.” You are one of the coolest girls around with a wicked personality and a sailor mouth, so why not make a kickass, Parental Guidance, Straight Outta London type of album? Everyone knows you can slay a ballad and make it feel like you’ve lost the 20 | 12.16.15
SAM SMITH “2016 will be the year that I find my testicles.” Now don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love Same Smith. I’ve been #teamsamsmith since the beginning. But there comes a time, like Adele, when you need to branch out and make some uptempo music. I think it would be awesome to hear a song from you about getting drunk in the club and throwing up in a trash can a la Kesha! OMG! That would be fantastical! Not everything needs to be about losing love or being cheated on. Let’s switch it up a bit. JUSTIN BEIBER “My number one New Year’s Resolution is to stop being a little bitch about everything.” Pretty much self explanatory. Bloop. THE WEEKND “I will wash my hair at least once a month!” Kidding! But one has to wonder if there are a few TV remotes and some spare change lost in that sweet abyss of hairy awesomeness. I’ve always wanted dreads, but I feel like that is such a huge commitment and according to my exes, I’m afraid of commitment. But I’m not bitter. Anyways, I’m sure people are saying the same about my current hair situation, so I guess I will be nice. See Santa! You were wrong! I can be nice, sometimes.
DJ Marc J Cubs DJ Marc J Cubs is a monthly columnist, exclusively writing for David Atlanta. You’ll see him around town spinning at various events and nightclubs. Contact him at beatbox@ davidatlanta.com with your music questions. Maybe he’ll answer them.
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opinion
The kindred we find
by Mike Fleming
YOU KNOW THE HOLIDAYS ARE ROUGH ON SOME PEOPLE AND THAT LGBTs ARE MORE LIKELY TO BE LONELY, BUT THE CONVERSATION SHOULDN’T STOP WITH PLATITUDES ABOUT “FAMILY OF CHOICE.” WHILE MUCH OF GAY ATLANTA thinks thoughts of home the next few weeks, the rest are constantly reminded that home meant making a break from their beginnings. Whether cutting the chord from unaccepting family and toxic relatives, or the loss of them through death, scores of us are on our own.
Who needs Judgey McJudgerson back in Hooville when our Atlanta boys are WHAT WOULD YOU SAY OR DO if a friend devolved into an emergency always there? situation simply because he was lonely? BUT A REAL FAMILY takes even more Too many of us do silent battle this time than that. They get the real you and ac- of year without ever hearing that there tually love you because of, and some- is a place for them at our table. What if times despite, the warts and flaws. It’s a word from you or any simple kindness the place not to just share joys, but a could save a life? secure shelter in times of desperation. These are the people who hear your Let’s resolve to say or do whatever it problems and take them on as their takes before it gets to that point. This own with thoughts toward solutions, time of year, our fr-amilies can literally not judgments. Family is your team. It’s be a lifeline. Something as simple as a mutual responsibility to care for and an invitation or phone call can make the difference. respect each other.
Most of the year, it’s easy to manage. When our families of origin aren’t there or aren’t good for us, we have our friends. Together, we redefine family like no other demographic group – often completely without any of the traditional Scores of gay men who are estranged, parents, siblings and cousins who others ostracized or otherwise without their blood relations find a new kindred that include in their definition. truly make a family. You call them beNeed a dinner companion? Done. Getting fore your mom when you get a job. They together a group to rent a vacation house? call you when that no-good boyfriend We’re so there. Need a shoulder to cry on finally lays the last straw. when your boss is a dick? We got you. 24 | 12.16.15
Just remember that not everyone is that lucky. During the holidays, those of us embraced by our biological families or entrenched in an inner circle of friends may not realize that another guy in your life is hurting.
And it’s not just for them. There’s a hidden bonus in reaching out to a person in need: Opening up to them is good karma. It may sound cliché, but it’s true that “to give is to get.” Reach David Atlanta Editorial Director Mike Fleming at mike@davidatlanta.com
davidatlanta.com | 25
community
Dream wedding by Dustin Shrader
ONCE UPON A TIME… THESE ATLANTA GUYS WILL BE THE FIRST GAY COUPLE MARRIED IN TIMES SQUARE AT MIDNIGHT ON NEW YEAR’S EVE. YOUR ONLINE VOTES CAN HELP THEM ALSO WIN A TITLE TO GO WITH IT.
“Alex has always been the one who has sort of taken the reigns as far as making plans go,” Michael explains. “We’ve talked about getting married for years. He is wonderful with surprises, so it was a no brainer to leave it up to him.”
Alex chuckles, “Yeah, this one was tough to plan. I knew I wanted something great. I racked my brain, thinking of all the ways airytale romances are few and far between. They are so I could propose and make it memorable. Then it hit me: Pride. I elusive, they’re almost only found on the silver screen. reached out to Bret Mega at Power 96.1 FM to see if they could But Atlanta is home to its own storybook romance. Meet help make it happen.” Alexander Eisele and Michael Westbrook. Once again fate was on their side. Right as the float topped Sixth You may already know these gents as the couple who became and Peachtree streets, Alex had his moment. Dropping to one engaged on live TV during this year’s Pride Parade. However, it all knee, he looked up at Michael and popped the question. started years ago, when on Jan. 9, 2006, each man was out on the town at the Heretic. Eyes locked across the dance floor, sparks flew, THE NEXT ADVENTURE the stars aligned, and fate set its course. Alex made the first move. George Zimmer of Men’s Wearhouse and Generation Tux fame “When I saw him, I just knew,” Alex reminisces. “I had to speak launched his “First Couple” contest this year. Alex and Michael to him, so I walked up, told him he was the hottest guy in the are one of two finalist couples in the nationwide search to win room, and just like that turned and walked away.” a dream wedding. They’ll tie the knot on New Year’s Eve in Times Square as the iconic Ball drops with a million revelers That bold gesture was all it took. Before the clock struck the as wedding guests. proverbial gay midnight (3 a.m.), the boys exchanged numbers. Over the next year, they talked every day and ultimately became The other finalists are a straight couple. Both couples get the a full-fledged couple. trip, the wedding, accommodations, Generation Tux apparel, and amazing VIP extras all New Year’s Weekend, as well as Nearly a decade later, Alex and Michael are ready to tie the $2,500 to spoil themselves in the Big Apple. But only one knot, each to his own Prince Charming. Looking back at the Pride gets the grand prize to be married first and declared the “First proposal, the guys gush over the surreal experience. Couple of 2016.”
F
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“It has been a whirlwind,” Michael exclaims. “Even if we aren’t chosen, we are so appreciative that we will still be married on New Year’s Eve in Times Square. It doesn’t get any more perfect than that!” Alex agrees. “I’ve always wanted to be in Times Square on New Year’s Eve as the ball drops, but never once did I think I would be getting married there!” Will fate shine light on this deserving couple’s destiny a third time? Not without our help, Atlanta. Online voting is in full swing and ends on the big day, Dec. 31 at 8:35 p.m. EST. You can vote once each day until then. Each couple will wed, but only one will bring home the title. “We are prepared for some backlash. Not everybody may be on board with a gay couple getting married and that’s OK,” Alex admits. “But we’re both on such a natural high we aren’t too worried.” “Whether we win or not, we feel so honored to not only represent the Atlanta gay community but the gay community nationwide,” Michael adds. “Being a part of something important, sharing our love for each other with the world, showing them we are a normal couple like everyone else is truly a blessing. We couldn’t be more grateful.” Vote for Michael and Alex up to once per day through Dec. 31 at firstcouple.generationtux.com.
28 | 12.16.15
OUR PAST OUR PRESENT THE FUTURE
SAVE THE DATE
ATLANTA PRIDE 2016
OCTOBER 8 - 9, 2016 PIEDMONT PARK
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Boys of BJ’s with Celeste Holmes at BJ Roosters
photos: Russ Youngblood
davidatlanta.com | 37
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40 | 12.16.15
Bearracuda 5th Anniversary at Heretic
photos: Russ Youngblood
davidatlanta.com | 41
the D list David Atlanta’s weekly list of truths all gay men have come to know
10 ways to get and keep a man
Put down the phone. Ask questions and listen.
Gentle use of the teeth.
Sex. Lots and lots of sex. Lather, rinse and repeat often.
Dote on him and take an interest in his hobbies.
Respect each other’s independence.
Make him laugh, and make sure his jokes make you laugh as well. Looks fade, but a sense of humor is forever. 44 | 12.16.15
Get along with his friends. They matter to him.
Cliché or not, his stomach really is on the road to his heart. Become a fabulous cook.
Make him pie and love his dog.
Stay in shape and keep up your manscaping. Not just for him, but if you feel sexy about yourself, so will he.
Next time on The D List: 10 ways you can tell that it’s really, truly and at long last love. Got one? Write mike@domvidatlanta.com, and we’ll consider publishing it.
davidatlanta.com | 45
lifestyle
play also comes a strong taboo, which can increase the desire further as participants break away from the cultural norm. Not to mention the Olympian size erection you will maintain with a near-bursting bladder. We’ve all experienced that rager first thing in the morning from needing to pee; you can have it any time of day and experience the ultimate release as well. Drinking more water daily is healthy, and you might even be able to satisfy someone’s latent craving for humiliation. Chug your Dasani and let those golden showers pour.
Kink 101 by Dustin Shrader
SO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT LIKE A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE. TRY THIS BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO SIX FETISHES THAT MIGHT PIQUE YOUR INTEREST.
C
haps, whips, biting, harnesses, spanking and chains. Fetishes. We all have a kinky side ready to be unleashed. Kink scenarios usually involve a certain power dynamic—a dominant role and a submissive role – but all of them involve releasing the uninhibited beast. Some scenes have thrilling, almost punishing, power differences between roles that can extend beyond the bedroom. “Subs” or “slaves” may even go as far as to hand over all facets of their daily lives to their “dom” or “masters,” but if you’re new to the ways of kink and aren’t quite ready to be suspended from a ceiling, you may discover your kinky side in these options, from mild to wild. ROLEPLAY Roleplaying is a fantastic way for kink virgins to explore before really letting 48 | 12.16.15
PUPPY PLAY No real canines are involved in this scenario, but it can be similarly endearing. The power dynamic here is subdued. Simply, pups get treated as you would your own four-legged friend: Shower him with affection, kisses and love, and maybe a few barking orders. Typically a “handler” is the more dominant partner, and the “pup” is subordinate. Walking on all fours, perhaps wagging a butt plug dogtail, and lapping up the handler’s crotch are all in the realm of possibility. Be a good boy, be a good daddy, and do it doggy style.
LEATHER Leather culture is the fetish most commonly associated with gay men. “Leathermen” are not solely reserved for BDSM, and the leather itself can be the draw. Pup play, roleplay and other kinks can be great avenues for welcoming those assless chaps, that fitted harness FOOT FETISH and maybe a collar or two. And you don’t We all have those body parts that turn have to have a love of motorcycles to get us on the most. Feet are the most com- down, although a Sons of Anarchy biker mon to pop a tent among men, hetero or boy scene does sound kinda hot. homo. But what is it about feet that gets the juices flowing? Some gay fetishists BDSM say it’s the sheer masculinity. Size, shape, Now we have arrived at the bad boy of hair, highness of the arch and softness of the fetish world. BDSM pushes boundarthe toes all play a part. ies to the point that safety words are a necessity. Generally, there is a dominate After all, feet lend strength to a man’s and subordinate, and practitioners might most powerful muscles—his legs. choose to include chains, floggers, slings, They’re also a powerful male sensory whips and any number of leather clothes spot – that’s why you curl your toes dur- and toys to explore the boundaries and ing an orgasm. Don’t be squeamish about connections between pleasure and pain. taking his (or your!) tingly nerves to places they’ve never explored. It’s important to note that while misconceptions regarding BDSM abound, its dungeons WATERSPORTS are safeguarded with responsible, consentLet’s get soaking wet. Men engaging ing adults. The art is only truly pleasurable in water sports or “urine play” may be if you take the time to learn all the ins and aroused by the high levels of wetness outs before you’re on your knees, looking at when urinating on each other. Watersport the floor, softly saying, “Yes sir.” your freak flag fly. Step into the shoes of another persona and break free of the vanilla box to embrace a completely new reality. Roles can encompass other kinks like Puppy play, leather or BDSM, from student/teacher, coach/jock, husband/ gardner/poolboy … the sky is the limit.
davidatlanta.com | 49
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B1 Amsterdam B2 B3 B4 B5 B6
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Dining D1 D2 D3 D4 D5 D6
10th & Piedmont 991 Piedmont Ave NE Einstein's 1077 Juniper St NE F.R.O.G.S 931 Monroe Cir NE G’s Midtown 219 10th St NE Henry’s 132 10th St NE Joe's on Juniper 1049 Juniper St NE
B4
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900 Monroe Dr NE D8 Ten Atlanta 990 Piedmont Ave NE
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C1 Atlanta Eagle
306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
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970 Piedmont Ave NE
Fitness
F1 Urban Body Fitness
500 Amsterdam Ave NE
Spa/Bath S1 Flex Spa
76 4th St NW Billiards/Darts Dancers Drag Leather Non-Smoking Area Patio
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1600 Piedmont Ave NE
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Not Shown
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Dining Lips Atlanta 3011 Buford Hwy NE Club Club Rush 2715 Buford Hwy NE Spa/Bath Qi Clay Sauna 130 Buford Hwy A-107
2115 Faulkner Rd NE davidatlanta.com | 53
bartab
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Monday
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10TH & PIEDMONT Half Price Wine Bottles BLAKE’S Trivia at 10pm. $250 Cash/Prizes • Martini Monday’s with Doug and Heros • Music and Video both levels til 3am BURKHART’S Blue Monday Karaoke with Darlene at 10PM EAGLE Music Videos with Scotty FELIX’S Free Pool All Day FRIENDS Texas Hold’em 8 pm HIDEAWAY Industry Night 1/2 Off Well, Domestic, & Wine JUNGLE Stars of the Century Show 11:30pm MODEL T Monday Night Madness 8pm MY SISTER’S ROOM Industry Night OSCAR’S Service Industry Night with Eric SWINGING RICHARDS Hip-Hop Night, Sponsored by Hennessy 8:30pm
10TH & PIEDMONT Half Price Happy Hour Menu 5-7pm BLAKE’S TGIF with Doug & Brent 3-9pm • “Deadly Vixens” Drag Show 11pm • Bill Berdeaux Spins Street Level BURKHART’S FEMME FATALE with Destiny Brooks and Justice Taylor at 11PM CLUB RUSH “Got Leche” Free entry until 11pm 18 & up - Open until 4am EAGLE DJ Dance Party FELIX’S Pour It On Me Rock Party w/DJ Darlene and our Sexy Shot Bois- 10pm FRIENDS Happy Time Friday Kelly & Ken 6 pm G’S Friday Night Dance Party with DJ Ryan Baker 10PM HERETIC PUMP featuring Atlanta’s hottest deejays - Occasional special events. No cover b4 11 HIDEAWAY $5 Smirnoff drinks & Martinis DJ Marc J. Cubs @10pm in back room JUNGLE The Other Show with Edie Cheezburger 9:30pm LIPS ATLANTA Glitz & Glamour Las Vegas Style MODEL T Texas Hold’em Poker 9pm MY SISTER’S ROOM Dance Party upstairs featuring Drag, DJs & Hosts OSCAR’S Music Video Night SWINGING RICHARDS T-Shirt Review,$10 TEN ATLANTA Music & Videos by DJ Daryl Cox 10pm
Tuesday BLAKE’S Latin Night with Guest DJ’s • 1/2 Priced Menu ‘til Midnight BURKHART’S DRAG-EOKE with Angelica D’Paige at 10PM CLUB RUSH “Tipsy Tuesday” 18 & up - Open until 4am FELIX’S Karaoke with Darlene - 10pm HIDEAWAY Game night: Poker and blackjack 7:30 Trivia with Jason Walker 8:30 LAS MARGARITAS Cuban Night - $12.95 All You Can Eat Cuban Buffet & $5 Mojitos MODEL T Texas Hold’em Poker 7pm MY SISTER’S ROOM Industry Night OSCAR’S Show Tune Tuesday with Chad- 8 pm SWINGING RICHARDS 1/2 Price cover
Wednesday BLAKE’S Party Pop wth Doug 3-9pm. “Voyeur Wednesday” Go-go guys, 10 p.m. BURKHART’S HUMPDAY KARAOKE with Darlene at 10PM FELIX’S Wild Out Wednesday w/Nicole Paige Brooks, Mychelle LaCroix DuPree & Mo’Dest Volgare - 11pm FRIENDS Hump Night with Regina Simms HERETIC WarpZone Video Game Night 7pm - Pig Dance Black Out Party DJ Stan Jackson 10pm-3am NO COVER HIDEAWAY Beauty and the beat! Ruby Redd Charity Bingo @8:30 free to play. karaoke W/ Tyler @ 11:00 $ 3.00 well drinks all day long JUNGLE Drag Wars - doors open at 9 and show starts at 10 - $250 Cash Prize based on audience applause LIPS ATLANTA Bitchy Bingo MODEL T Wonderful Wednesdays 7pm MY SISTER’S ROOM Karaoke
Thursday BLAKE’S Texas Hold em Poker 7pm “I - Candy” Street level with Shawnna Brooks 11pm BURKHART’S DANCEFLOOR DIVAS with Phoenix (RuPaul’s Drag Race s3) at 11:30PM EAGLE Balls Deep Karaoke w/ Mikey FACES LOUNGE The All Star Cabaret Drag Show & Karaoke FELIX’S Killer King Karaoke w/Tyler King - 10pm FRIENDS Texas Hold’em 8pm; Ladies Night 10 pm G’S Game Night with Brent Star 9PM HERETIC 3 Legged Cowboy Night 9pm Free dance lessons 8-9pm. No cover. HIDEAWAY Hot Mic’ Comedy w/ Ian Aber at 10pm followed by Karaoke at 11:30. Draft Beer Special LAS MARGARITAS Dirty South Trivia $5 Smirnoff & Cuervo Drinks. House Cash Prizes & $5 Wings LIPS ATLANTA Dinner with the Divas MODEL T Pre-Weekend Party! 7pm MY SISTER’S ROOM College Night - King of Thrones Drag Show OSCAR’S Twisted Thursday with Eric SWINGING RICHARDS 2-4-1 VIP & Entry 54 | 12.16.15
Saturday 10TH & PIEDMONT Bottomless Mimosa Brunch BLAKE’S Open at 1pm • “Glitter Bomb” w Edie Cheezburger, Shavonna Brooks • Guest DJs Upstairs 10pm-close. BURKHART’S SYNERGY with Shawnna Brooks and Monica Van Pelt at 11PM CAMPAGNOLO Legendary Musician Robert Ray on the piano 10pm-1am EAGLE DJ Dance Party FELIX’S Superstar Karaoke w/Diva Darlene and our Sexy Shot Bois - 10pm FRIENDS Free Pool with Bryan 2-6 pm; Let’s Make A Deal with Ken 6-10 pm HERETIC Varies. EARLY COUNTRY (8pm-12:30am) & LATE NIGHT DANCE with Billboard DJ MIKE POPE @12:30-close. No cover except special events. HIDEAWAY $2.50 All Well Drinks JUNGLE Fantasy Girls 9pm; Club Night, Various Guest DJ’s LIPS ATLANTA Glitz & Glamour Las Vegas Style MODEL T Texas Hold’em Poker 3pm MY SISTER’S ROOM Brunch 11:30am-4pm - Dance Party upstairs featuring Drag, DJs & Hosts OSCAR’S DJ Christopher Kind SWINGING RICHARDS T-Shirt Review $10 TEN ATLANTA Music & Videos by DJ Rob Reum 10pm
Sunday 10TH & PIEDMONT Bellini Brunch BLAKE’S Open at 1pm - Bloody Mary’s with Robin. Texas Hold em Poker Upstairs 2pm. High Energy with DJs Will Bryan & Bill Berdeaux. BURKHART’S Tossed Salad hosted by Brigitte Bidet - Music & Drinks 8pm - Showtime 9pm CLUB RUSH Hip Hop and R&B - 18 & up - Open until 4am FELIX’S Bloody Mary & Mimosa’s All Day FRIENDS DJ hosts Sunday Delights 2 pm-closing HIDEAWAY $3.50 wells the Armorettes @8:00 LIPS ATLANTA Gospel Brunch w/ Bubba D. Licious LAS MARGARITAS Papi’s $17.95 Unlimited Brunch & Choice of Mimosas, Sangrias, Bloody Maria’s, & Mojitos MODEL T Karaoke for a Cause 8pm MY SISTER’S ROOM Brunch 11:30am-4pm - T Dance Party featuring $3 Mimosas & $5 Bloody Marys TEN ATLANTA Brunch 11am & music by DJ Rob Reum inside and DJ Robert Ansley on the patio 4pm
FULL BODY MASSAGE by Walter @ 404-872-5671 (8th St. @Monroe Dr.) Only $40..Shave too License No. MT003122
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advice
Dear Dom, When it comes to anal, I always do the giving and not the receiving. But lately I realize that I’m less a “top” and more afraid to bottom. The times I’ve tried riding the joystick, it’s painful to the point that I have to stop. But thoughts of getting it good really get me going. It’s the reality of it that proves problematic. Help! But Only The Thoughts Of Manplows Dear BOTTOM,
Dear Dom,
Every Single Question... Every Single Answer
What’s with all the ass questions this week? Anyway, bottoming is a learned skill, and the good news is that learning is fun, and most guys are quick studies. Did you know that your sphincter is actually made of two mechanisms? The outer one and an inner one that does all the real work. With a little practice, you can become lord of the rings. The second mechanism, which is about a quarter-inch deeper than the outer asterisk, is where pain might happen. The rub? Its wonders are involuntary. You and your hole can learn. Butt plugs are perfect for training your tunnel. Start small. The longer you leave it in, the more the inner sphincter relaxes.
Dear Dom,
And relax is the key word. Don’t “try.” Gradually introduce bigger toys that you can take without pain. I repeat: Without. Pain. If I love to get my salad tossed as much as any redblood- it aches, back out. If it burns, your creating micro tears. That’s ed gay man, and a new guy I’m seeing is obsessed hurting, not helping, your progress. Eventually, you can invite a friend who has the right tool to gauge your progress. with giving it to me. The only trouble is that he’s also obsessed with me Dear Dom, getting and maintaining what I would call an onlyin-porno starfish. He suggests anal bleaching, but I’m Bottoming is life, but my husband usually wants it before I’ve had my morning coffee. That would be cool, reticent. Is it safe? Does it hurt? Is he worth it? but I almost never feel “clean down there” in the morning. Now that he put a ring on it, is it OK to let him He’s Obsessed & Licks Endlessly come through the door before I let the maid in? Dear HOLE, Can Lick Eat And Nuzzle It’s good that he knows what he wants and is willing to put all his sexual cards on the table. It’s also good that you’re in a po- Dear CLEAN, sition, so to speak, to reap the rewards of his request. But proceed with caution. There are products that claim putting a little No. Just… no. Tell him he has to talk to the lady before he can come on your starfish each day can do the trick in one to two weeks. through the gate, then duck out for a douche. You’ll both be glad you did. But be warned, not all anal bleaches are created equal. Some P.S. You people are butt-obsessed this week. You’ve come to the use harsh chemicals that can leave you where nobody wants to right guy, but I need some balance. Next week, it’s all about the D. go down there, least of all your hole-focused manfriend. He’s already going face-first into your sweet spot, so is pink perfection, however much that’s even achievable, worth a regimen that one might imagine Gwyneth Paltrow endorsing? As to whether he’s worth it, only you can answer. I say no guy is worth potentially mangling your manhole cover. 56 | 12.16.15
Dom
Advice columnist Dom has been there and done that with most everything. He isn’t shy about any question, and he’s never ashamed of any topic. If you have burning gay questions the internet just can’t put out, give him a shout via this magazine. Warning: Advice given in this column is intended for entertainment and novelty purposes. Please proceed at your own risk.
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davidatlanta.com | 57
fairyscopes
presented by
the armorettes
ARIES (Mar. 20 – Apr. 19):
LIBRA (Sep. 23 – Oct. 22):
TAURUS (Apr. 20 – May 20):
SCORPIO (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21):
GEMINI (May 21- Jun. 20):
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 – Dec. 20):
CANCER (Jun. 21- Jul. 22):
CAPRICORN (Dec. 21 – Jan. 19):
LEO (Jul. 23 – Aug. 22):
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18):
VIRGO (Aug. 23 – Sep. 22):
PISCES (Feb. 19 – Mar. 19):
You’ll bustle about like a drag queen in a wig store, and then throw a hissy fit when no one pays waits on you in a timely manner. Keep a check on your aggressions today. Losing your temper won’t get you the things you want any faster, or have people paying attention to you.
You may hate it when your friends become successful, but it’s better to be happy for them than to resent them. Don’t let jealous feelings towards others derail your relationships today. Perhaps your envy is a manifestation of anger towards yourself for not doing as well as them.
Stop thinking only of yourself today and start doing things for others. There are hundreds of men in your own community who could use a helping hand, or just someone friendly who’ll have compassion for their plight. It doesn’t take much to help, just a little time and basic human understanding.
A profound session of illicit intimacy has you wanting more today, but you probably won’t get it. Such are the pitfalls of getting involved with someone who’s already involved. This will really drag you down today. It’s easy to advise you to get over it, but we all know how hard that can be.
Take a deeper look at some of your relationships today. You may be carrying a lot of excess baggage that’s weighing you down. Relinquish unneeded ties to the past, and jettison anyone who’s not adding anything positive to your life. You’ll be surprised at how much you throw away.
The call of the wild may have you feeling restless today. So heed it! Head into the great outdoors -perhaps a long hike, playful swim or leisurely bike ride are in order? Pick something fun and frisky you can enjoy with a very special friend.
58 | 12.16.15
Make yourself available to gentlemen suitors today. Accept all invitations to dinner, coffee, the movies or whatever public activities they suggest. But turn down offers to take things further. You’re a respectable gentlemen after all, and you don’t jump into the sack with just any Tom, Dick or Harry.
Men will be mysteriously drawn to you today. They will stare at you and look you up and down in knowing ways. You’ll be flattered by all of this attention at first, until you realize that your fly is unzipped. How embarrassing is that?
Building towards the future of a relationship takes more than looking at the big picture. Focus on the grand scheme of things today, but pay attention to the little details, as they are just as important. Achieving this balance should put you on the road to unlimited devotion.
You may feel detached from your friends today, and you’ll wonder why they never call. But communication goes both ways, and perhaps you’re the one who isn’t good at staying in touch. Pick up the phone and call some of them today. They’ll be glad to hear from you after all this time.
An urge to feel socially useful will have you pitching in where you can today. Whether at an AIDS hospice or a homeless shelter, your selflessness will be welcome and much needed. The looks of sincere gratitude and thanks are all the reward you’ll need.
Don’t let others use you as a doormat today. Stand up for yourself and show them you’re stronger than they think. They may gain newfound respect for you, and you’ll never have to worry about having sand kicked in your face again.
Bitch
S E S S I O N
SEND US YOUR BITCHES! Text 404.969.BTCH, tweet @BitchSessionATL or email bitch@davidatlanta.com *This page reflects the bitchiness of the community not David Atlanta or its publisher (although we’re bitchy too!)
Really? Tittering loudly about someone ‘last year’s clothes’? This isn’t high school, asshole, and you’re not a Heather.
I was good enough to trick with last week, but this week you can’t even say hi at Bearbucks?
Your revisionist version of history was entertaining for everybody. Sorry about your alcoholism.
When the cat’s away (in Brazil), the mouse can play with a Brazilian. #seemsfair
Thank god for you, barfly. If it wasn’t for your sage advice, no one would ever figure anything out. #stfu
Shut up when someone else is trying to make a speech or toast. It’s not about you.
60 | 12.16.15
You suddenly have time for me now that I got contacts and a gym membership. No. Just no.
Enjoy it while you’re pretty, cuz acting like Mean Girls is going to leave you lonely.
Nothing bad is ever your fault. It’s someone else, or the system stacked against you. Baby, you’re in your own way. I looked up from your crotch and all I could think was ‘man bun, man bun, man bun.’ Can’t do it.
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