Let us re-introduce ourselves.
To raise awareness and funds to provide care and housing assistance to people living with HIV/AIDS in Atlanta.
New look... Expanded mission. JoiningHearts.org
12.23.15 V.18 I.51
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PARTY PLANNER
Even if you’re wrapped up in Christmas Weekend, it’s time to plan for what others call the real reason for the season: New Year’s Eve and all its gay Atlanta event options.
26
HOLIDAY HOMO
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GAY GAMING
If you’re hearing jingle bells but thinking bah-humbug, follow one gay Atlanta man’s journey to dig deep and trudge up enough holiday magic to last well into 2016.
What do you get when you mix video games, two industrious gays, and a bar ready to party in the middle of the week? Welcome to Warp Zone Wednesdays.
Russ Youngblood (x106) Senior Sales Representative russ@davidatlanta.com Steve Tyrrell (x107) steve@davidatlanta.com Jim Brams (x108) jim@davidatlanta.com
CONTRIBUTORS Dustin Shrader (x109) Associate Editor dustin@davidatlanta.com Matt Hennie Technical Web Coordinator Tony Gowell Chris Azzopardi Jesse Hancock Jason Mietelski Jeffery Silvey Gregg Wynn
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Pulling yourself up by the bootstraps isn’t always easy. Here’s a local guy finding out the hard way that he’s more than OK with his old life moving on without him.
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where to go and what to do this week
RUBY REDD CHRISTMAS BINGO Big, bawdy and ready to party, there’s only one hostess with this kind of mostest. Ruby calls the balls and queens hit the stage for an event you won’t soon forget. Your entry, the game, and the singular entertainment are free, so play the Christmas EveEve night away. Wednesday, Dec. 23, 8:30 p.m. • The Hideaway • 1544 Piedmont Ave. • atlantahideaway.com photo: Project Q
‘CAROL’ From the gay director who brought us Far From Heaven, I’m Not There and Velvet Goldmine comes this slick, Oscar-worthy film starring Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara. Follow the 1950s dresses and drama through love between an aspiring photographer and her relationship with an older divorcee. Opens Friday, Dec. 25 • Atlanta area theaters
12 | 12.23.15
photo: Project Q
SARAH PEACOCK BIRTHDAY BASH
BEARDS, BEARS & OTTERS ON ICE
Ask any local lesbian. Girls with guitars are ubiquitous in Atlanta, but this one has something special. When country-rock awesomeness and LGBT family come together in one person who’s also a Christmas baby, that means a show to escape the post- holiday blues. Come see this award-winning sognwriter do what she does best: Woo you.
Get with the burly boys for an annual slip, slide, impromptu, man-on-man ice-stravaganza. The hairy crowd dons its gay apparel for a seasonal Sunday Funday on the temporary rink. Bring an unwrapped LEGO set for Little Bricks of Hope.
Saturday, Dec. 26 • Eddie’s Attic • 515-B North McDonough St., Decatur • eddiesattic.com
Sunday, Dec. 27, 4 p.m. – 10 p.m. • Park Tavern Ice Skating Rink • 500 10th Street • parktavern.com
From Our Family to Yours
¡Feliz Navidad! • @LaHaciendaMidtown
FREE WI-FI davidatlanta.com | 13
www.SavedAndGay.com
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Toy Party with For the Kid in All of Us at America’s Mart
photos: Just Toby
C R E AT E YO U R D R E A M B E D R O O M W I T H S P E C I A L S AV I N G S + S P E C I A L I N C E N T I V E S O N M AT T R E S S E S U N T I L J A N U A R Y 1 0
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MAAP Holiday Party at Creative Approach
photos: Russ Youngblood
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davidatlanta.com | 21
and weak. So, no; these aren’t my opinions, merely my observances of things we should think on as we move to the new year, a new year of new opportunities for growth and change – and the search for some common sense. For instance, when dining out in restaurants, why is it that when we ask for butter, it sometimes arrives in a hard and un-spreadable form? I really do want to know, in what fucking scenario has any guest ever wanted cold, hard butter? Ever? And for that matter, when I’m in the middle of eating my food, and my water glass is empty, why are servers quick to ask if I want another beverage? Do they think I’ll reach into my reserve camel hump on my back and get my water from there? Yes, bitch. If I’ve completed half my meal, and managed to throw back two glasses of water getting to this point, mathematically it stands to reason: I’ve got about two more glasses of water left to consume before I’m done with this meal. I know the goal is to keep it kind of classy because it’s the holidays, but why can’t fast food restaurants give you a napkin for your food? I will gladly give back my 13 packets of ketchup – I never use them, so not sure why they’re in the bag in the first place – for just one damn napkin.
Slay Bells, Slay!!! Are you Listening? ‘I’M GRATEFUL FOR SO MUCH IN MY LIFE, AND ANYONE READING THIS SHOULD BE THANKFUL TOO. WE ALL WOKE UP ON THIS SIDE OF THE DIRT TODAY, AND THAT’S WHAT MAKES IT A WIN.’
Perhaps they look at me and think, “Well this fat bitch couldn’t possibly drop a crumb, so let’s save the napkins for those skinny twinks. They clearly keep missing their mouths, and are starving to death.” Inquiring minds want to know, because I’m still recovering from playing the role of the over-enunciated educator repeating myself four times into the drive thru speaker. It’s as if English is no longer the first language spoken in Atlanta fast food, and I have to keep checking myself to make sure that I’m not speaking in Hebrew.
Now speaking of Hebrews, the upcoming New Year means the heralding of a bunch of political bullshit to get us to a new I’m obsessed with the winter holidays. It’s that one time of year President. Yes, I hope it’s the Jewish one. when everyone stresses over finding the perfect gift for the friends, family and coworkers in their lives. A time when we re- But no matter who you want to lead us, we have to remember ally are made to think about someone other than ourselves. I’ll to move forward with intelligence, knowledge, understanding, be the first to confess, it’s really really hard. compassion and dignity. We all have the ability to love who we love, and vote who we vote. So to all my Obsessed column readers, I give you my gift of “realness.” I often edit my column, not because I’m fearful that Oh, and before I sign off for this holiday edition, somebody I will be asked at an editorial level to change things, but be- please make me a damn pecan pie. It’s my favorite. cause I want to have a common balance, so that the majority of Obsessed readers can relate to what it is I’m trying to say. For really real though, Happy Holidays to all of you, and have a safe and Happy New Year. We’ve got lots to talk about in January. I’m grateful for so much in my life, and anyone reading this should be thankful too. We all woke up on this side of the dirt See you all soon!! today, and that’s what makes it a win. I’m not saying that sometimes you shouldn’t let some things off your chest. When you bottle up enough irritation, an outlet is needed, and this column is mine. Now, I always dodge the ownership of calling my thoughts opinions, because I often equate people offering up their own opinions as some thinly veiled form of whining. Whining is annoying 22 | 12.23.15
Tony Gowell
Tony Gowell is a bi-weekly columnist, exclusively writing for David Atlanta. Contact him at obsessed@davidatlanta.com with your latest obsessions. If you’re half way interesting, he might write about it, and if he doesn’t… better luck next time!
davidatlanta.com | 23
Metrotainment Cafes Illustrator 6 eps file
CAFE CARD
- since 1997 -
opinion
I NEED TO RALLY, much like a Christmas Eve 20 years ago. I was broke and depressed about how my budget would affect my ability to give as much as I received. I started rifling through my desk. I cut out a construction paper heart, found a gumball, strung together some paperclips, balled up a long piece of Scotch tape and dug up a penny from the recesses of a drawer. All of it went into a used red box that I wrapped with a stray piece of ribbon. In the card to my family, I explained why I chose those particular items: The Paperclips are the inter-connection of all of us. We shift independently, but we’re never far from each other.
Post-holiday glow
by Mike Fleming
YOU COULD EASILY PLAY THE BITTER ELF RAILING AGAINST THE HOLIDAYS, OR YOU CAN DIG DEEP, TRUDGE UP SOME MAGIC, AND KEEP THAT GLOW GOING ALL YEAR. When I was little, I loved Christmas. No matter what my family’s financial situation, which started small and got better through the years, there were always presents under the tree, a huge meal and, well, magic in the air. Shut up; it’s true. I may be pretty snarky about sentimentality these days, but I was once a wide-eyed boy in wonder at the world, fully absorbed in seasonal spirit. As the years went by, I became increasingly disenchanted. My expectations of “the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” were dashed as I realized it took adult work to create childhood magic. I began to see the season as all about spending money, then feeling inadequate if you can’t make someone cry by springing diamonds on them. Bah-humbug. 26 | 12.23.15
The Heart reminds us of the love and joy we have around us all year, even if we have to look harder sometimes to see it. The Gumball helps us remember to keep our lives well rounded, as we each define that. The Tape shows how we can help each other hold it together when trouble hits from the outside world and our inner demons.
The Coin reminds us that, in a world where money seems to buy everything, it can’t buy friends, families of origin and choice, or the community we’re so fortuI WON’T BE HOME for Christmas this nate to have. year — for the first time in a long time. No drama; it just worked out that way as THERE’S A LITTLE MONEY in the family members scattered geographically. bank these days, but I was emotionally bankrupt until I remembered my gift of At first, I was relieved. Then I real- Christmas Past. ized I’m going to miss the obligations I usually dread: Travel plans, shopping, Back then, it made my mom cry, without a dicrowds and family. It forced me to re- amond in sight. She still pulls out the whole evaluate what it’s really all about. package every year — decaying gumball and all — puts it under the tree and reads Recently my channel surfing happened the card out loud on Christmas Day. upon “Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer,” the claymation classic about a misun- I’m re-gifting it to you, my peeps on the derstood gay elf with fabulously swoopy Island of Misfit Toys. Hopefully it can hair who ventures off with a flying dog help make the Yuletide gay, and you can and a lumbersexual to find their people ride it through the holiday weekend. in a misfit paradise island ruled by a And if you’re enjoying that post-holiday gruff white-haired bear daddy with a glow, who says we can’t keep it going? heart of gold. What’s not to love? No matter how you do the holidays, including not at all, let’s say yes to our In the end, everybody finds home and better, spiritual, giving and grateful the True Meaning of Christmas. Thanks, sides all year. I needed that. I will be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams. Reach David Atlanta Editorial Director Mike Fleming at mike@davidatlanta.com.
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davidatlanta.com | 27
NEW
ROC by Mike Fleming
Other holidays may call you away to far-flung destinations, but N-Y-E in the A-T-L will have you dancing all the way home. Even if you were gone for Thanksgiving, busy through Hanukah, and distracted with Christmas, the boys are back for New Year’s Eve. Clubs and promoters know how to welcome home their gays for blowouts that leave you wondering where, not if, you’ll ring in 2016 with a blowout party. No matter how you chalk up 2015, one thing is sure: It’s over. Good or bad, you can’t change a thing. Whether you’re celebrating because it was awesome or because it’s over, these gay Atlanta events help you check it the rear view mirror and party about it all night long.
GENESIS WHITE PARTY WITH DJ PHIL B. The venue and the crowd are decked in white as if your yearly slate is wiped clean. But you know you’re still a little dirty. So does DJ Phil B and the team from Fort Troff. They’re both in the house and benefiting Ready4Hope with surprises in store to make this one night you won’t forget. Come back at noon 6:30 for the New Year’s Morning Party with Morabito. Heretic • 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road NE • hereticatlanta.com
GATSBY WITH DJ MANNY LEHMAN Channel your inner Daisy or Jay, dress to “roar into the New Year” at this Roaring ‘20s Party. Lehman throws down the gauntlet, house queen Phoenix holds court, and you serve 2016 Realness into the night. Jungle • 2115 Faulkner Road • jungleatl.com 28 | 12.23.15
YEAR’S
CKIN EVE BALLS DROP BALL
It’s a very naughty New Year when the men of the Eagle let loose. The bar celebrates its community partners with 2015 videos all night. It’s a Bar Code gear event, so come prepped to party with representatives of Manifest, Atlanta Bucks, Southern Bears, Panthers L/L, Talons, Onyx, Barking Leather and more. Atlanta Eagle • 306 Ponce de Leon Ave. • atlantaeagle.com
PENNIES FROM HEAVEN Blake’s is always a sure bet for boys, so that makes it a muststop on New Year’s Eve. Well that, and all the cash and prizes. The annual balloon drop sends patrons scrambling in the opening minutes of the New Year. Beforehand, it’s cocktails galoreious and a video countdown to 2016. Blake’s on the Park • 227 10th St. • blakesontheparkatlanta.com
NEW YEAR’S EVE BALL The third annual event with your friends at the corner of Gay & Gayer make sure your New Year is a ‘Ten.’ Ten Atlanta offers hot guys, hot music and a hot balloon drop for cash and prizes. Did we mention the free champagne toast? Yassss! TEN Atlanta • 990 Piedmont Ave. • tenatlanta.com
NYE 2016 Party favors, free champagne and a year’s worth of memories to celebrate. Burkhart’s always treats you right with drag, drinks and DJs. Plenty of free parking to sit tight and enjoy all night long. Burkhart’s Pub • 1492 Piedmont Road • burkharts.com photos: Russ Youngblood davidatlanta.com | 29
SWINGING RICHARDS NEW YEAR
ATTACK OF THE NEW YEAR PARTY MONSTER
Nobody in Atlanta has your NYE plans swinging like these guys. East Atlanta queers do what they do best, moviing the gay hipsters All-nude dancers enhance your year-ending, new-beginnings ex- with DJ beats with party favors, specials, and kickass music videos. perience, plus champagne and surprises all night. Mary’s • 1287 Glenwood Ave. SE • marysatlanta.com Swinging Richards • 1400 Northside Drive • swingingrichards.com
DECAY/DECADENCE
PLAYBOI - NYE 2016
Art, alternaqueers and drag collide for a different kind of New Year’s Eve. A group art show called “Nudes,” three DJs, perReimagine the Playboy Mansion if it were a gay slumber party, formances and hosts Kryean Kally and Brigitte Bidet, from the and you’ve got a totally new New Year’s Eve. The go-go boys gangs from Wussy and Thnku. take on ears and tails, and the staff does Hef. Champagne and giveaways complete the fantasy. Big House on Ponce • 368 Ponce de Leon Ave. • bighouseonponce.com BJ Roosters • 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY WITH DJ CAPRICE
NEW YEAR’S EVE CELEBRATION
Men of the Hideaway bring their reputation for a rowdy time in a You know the sure-bet place to meet the most gay men of color in cozy environment to New Year’s Eve. Free champagne at midnight. Atlanta. Whether it’s week-in and week-out or in this case, year-in and year-out, Bulldogs has you covered. Midnight toast. Hangover The Hideaway • 1544 Piedmont Ave., Behind Publix • atlantahideaway.com Walk of Shame Party on New Year’s Day with DJ Kaye G. Bulldogs • 893 Peachtree St. NE
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016
LAS MAS NEW YEAR’S BALL
The little neighborhood bar where everybody’s welcome pours a champagne toast at midnight. True to its “always a party” sloDJ Karlitos brings his Jungle and El Patio magic to the gay gan, belly up to the bar and feel the magic. Latin restaurant where dinner also means a rowdy, delicious party. Drink specials and prize giveaways start your New Model T • 699 Ponce de Leon Ave. • modeltatlanta.com Year off right. Las Margaritas • 1842 Cheshire Bridge Road NE • lasmargaritasmidtown.com
NEW YEAR’S MASQUERADE
NEW YEAR’S AFTERPARTY WITH DJ ALEX COHEN The only thing missing fro your New Year’s is more of it. Not a problem. From the people who bring each Saturday well past the wee hours comes this dance party that gets going right as your other events let up. Kick it until the sun comes up at Xion.
Charlie Brown and the kids crowd mask it up in Atlanta’s premier drag dinner theater. A three-course prix-fixe din- Xion, 3 a.m. – 7 a.m. • 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE • ner, dancing, and a midnight toast. Come back for the Jan. xionatlanta.com 1 Divas Afterparty. Lips • 3011 Buford Highway • LipsUSA.com
REGINA SIMMS NEW YEAR The dynamic dynamo with a heart of gold hosts your champagne wishes and caviar dreams for a bright 2016. Champagne and more. Come back by for a free New Year’s Day ham dinner. Friends on Ponce • 736 Ponce de Leon Ave. • friendsonponce-atl.com 30 | 12.23.15
ROARING 20S PARTY If a getaway sounds like the perfect way to do New Year’s Weekend, the Metropolis Complex in Augusta is your place. A high-energy dance party at Edge Nightclub gets going with Nicole Roberst as special guest, but stay all weekend in the complex with a three-night package that includes all you can handle at Edge, the Capri Lounge and Parliament Resort. The party continues Friday and Saturday with the Pig Pen and male dancers. Metropolis Entertainment Complex • 1250 Gordon Highway, Augusta • metropoliscomplex.com
davidatlanta.com | 31
film
True story by Elijah Sarkesian
photos: courtesy Focus Features
EDDIE REDMAYNE AS ‘THE DANISH GIRL’ TELLS A TALE OF LOVE ABOUT A REAL-LIFE TRANSGENDER WOMAN AND HOW HER COMPLICATED LIFE CHANGED ART AND HISTORY. There’s one way to tell when a social issue has reached the frontlines of the national consciousness: Hollywood starts making buzz-covered Oscar baiting films about it. With trans rights reaching new levels of awareness this year, the timing seems appropriate for The Danish Girl, playing in theaters now. Based on the novel of the same name by David Ebershoff, the film tells the love story of Einar and Gerda Wegener, whose relationship is tested when Einar begins to live as the woman she is born to be, takes on the name Lili Elbe, and becomes one of the first people to undergo modern-day sex reassignment surgery.
When one of Gerda’s models was absent, she asked the slender Einar to model the stockings.
What was originally a one-time occurrence quickly turned into something more regular. Gerda began using Einar, dressed in traditional female garb, as the main subject of her increasingly popular illustrations. Einar, in turn, began to go out in public more regularly as Lili, who was introduced in There are two things worth knowing about The Danish Girl. First, public as Einar’s sister. Lili and Gerda, played in the film by Eddie Redmayne and Alicia Vikander, were real people. Second, both the film and the novel By 1913, the public in Paris (where the couple finally settled in tell fictional versions of their stories. The second point is impor- 1912) became aware that Einar was the inspiration for Gerda’s tant because, while there are similarities, the true story was far popular paintings of petite women. After this discovery, Lili routinely went out in public, and this continued throughout the more complicated. 1910s, 1920s, and into 1930s – far longer than the unspecified Einar and Gerda Wegener were both artists who worked but shorter period suggested by The Danish Girl. throughout Europe during the first few decades of the 20th Century after marrying in 1904. Einar specialized in landscape Gerda, meanwhile, was able to pursue relationships with other paintings, and Gerda was an illustrator for books and magazines. women. 32 | 12.23.15
That last year marked a period of change for Lili, by this point 47 years old. Lili traveled to Germany for a series of experimental sex reassignment surgeries, with four surgeries taking place in all. Lili and Gerda’s marriage was invalidated by a Danish court, and Lili was able to have both her sex and name legally changed. She even stopped painting – that was something she felt was part of Einar’s identity, not Lili’s.
Woman in 1933. The book was compiled from various diaries and letters written by and to Lili during her lifetime, according to her last wishes. The book, which was published first in Danish, became one of the first widely-available books about a transgender person’s life. Unfortunately, further details about the actual procedures Lili underwent are not similarly known. The Nazis destroyed both the library and archive for the Institute for Sexual Research in Berlin, which experimented in the physical transitioning from one gender to another, in 1933. Though the surgeries are referenced in Man Into Woman, their mentions are not detailed.
Lili survived her first three surgeries throughout that year, which included the removal of testicles, implanting an ovary onto her abdominal musculature, and the removal of the penis and scrotum. The fourth surgery, though – a uterus transplant and the construction of a vagina – eventually proved fatal. On Sept. 13, 1931 – three months after the surgery – Lili died due to heart Still, Lili Elbe’s willingness to undergo these highly experimental surgeries helped in both the scientific discovery of how to make paralysis caused by the uterus transplant. modern procedures both safe and successful. Just as imporUnlike what The Danish Girl depicts, Gerda was not present dur- tantly, letting the world know about her journey to becoming Lili ing or after Lili’s final surgery. By that point, Gerda had gone on has served as a source of inspiration for trans individuals in the to marry an Italian diplomat who lived in Morocco. decades since her death. So how do we know about the real story behind Lili Elbe and The Danish Girl may not tell all of Lili’s story, but it opens the Gerda Wegener? It’s largely due to the publication of Man Into door for more people to discover her.
34 | 12.23.15
OUR PAST OUR PRESENT THE FUTURE
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nightlife
GAYmers geek out on Hump Day by Dustin Shrader
STEP INTO THE WARP ZONE. WEDNESDAYS AT HERETIC OPEN WIDE FOR GAY GAMERS PLAYING VIDEO GAMES NONSTOP IN THE SPOT YOU MAY ASSOCIATE MORE WITH DANCING QUEENS.
or the movie theater. The arcade was a no-brainer. That money would be spent in 30 minutes. How did Warp Zone Wednesday come to fruition?
Herb: I used to run a game night out of my house when I lived in Ohio. I did it for about 43 weeks in a row. We had seven screens he Heretic is no longer just a weekend hotspot, and forget and potlucks. It was amazing! it if you still think that video-gaming isn’t only for straight boys. Thanks to Warp Zone Wednesday, you can now get When I moved back to Atlanta, I realized there’s nothing going your “gayme” on with scores of like-minded gays and more on like that. So I thought it would be really cool if there was a than one joystick in a setting other than your living room. bar and they had a bunch of systems setup, so everyone with the same interests could come, drink and play. Debuting back in August, Warp Zone has become a popular mustdo event, a fun haven for anyone who loves a ballin’ atmosphere, a There are a lot of gay gamers who don’t really have a place to go. On any night of the week they are probably, like myself, at strong drink and a night full of their favorite video games. home gaming alone and not hanging out with anyone. I started WZ’s cofounders, Herb Hallas and Tony Hall, are educating the talking to Alan [Collins at Heretic], and Tony and was like, “Let’s masses about why Heretic is the place to be on Wednesday do something. Let’s make a place for them.” nights for the boys who love all things virtual. They took time to let us in on the weekly fun with insights into themselves as the And that became Warp Zone Wednesdays. guys behind the event. Tony: I had a friend years ago who used to refurbish game consoles and would donate them to dentist’s offices for kid’s What got you started in gayming? entertainment. When I started bartending for Heretic, I thought, Herb: I’ve always been a gamer, starting out with Atari as a kid. ‘wouldn’t it be fun if I hooked up one of those Xboxes my friend I’m only 30-years-old, but I remember systems dating all the way refurbished?’ I started talking to customers and fellow dorks back. I’m the youngest of my siblings, and they would pass down about the idea and they were all for it. all these older systems, which I grew to love. A mutual friend of ours Brian Weathers introduced Herb and I, Tony: I’ve always been around video gaming. Every week I from that moment Warp Zone was born. would get my allowance and be given a choice of the arcade
T
40 | 12.23.15
So what exactly is Warp Zone Wednesday? Herb: WZ is open to the public every Wednesday from 7 p.m. – 3 a.m. We have 12 screens and everything from Atari to Ps4s. I have been collecting games for years. It is almost kind of a weird obsession but has actually helped out with this a lot. Tony: You come in, sit down, grab a drink. You can watch the big wall of games or pick up a controller and play. If there’s something we don’t have you’re more than welcome to bring it along. Herb: Some people bring baked goods. We have snacks for sale. There’s nothing really happening on Wednesdays, so it is a nice upper in the middle of the week. What has the reception been like? Herb: It has been a joint effort altogether. There’s always a crowd, and it’s nice to have all the gays come out, get off the couch and play games with us. Tony: It is growing every week. We’re even hosting a birthday party! WZ isn’t just a hangout, but it’s also perfect for large gatherings and special occasions. Anything you’d like to add? Herb: We would both like to thank Brian Weathers, Terrence Ng and Lucas Simms who have all been instrumental in the success of Warp Zone Wednesday. And of course Alan Collins for having an open mind and creating a space for us to game! Warp Zone takes place each Wednesday at the Heretic, 7 p.m. For weekly updates, check the Warp Zone Wednesday Facebook page.
davidatlanta.com | 41
Seen@
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Atlanta Santa Speedo Run
photos: Russ Youngblood
davidatlanta.com | 45
Seen@
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Twisted Toyland at Jungle
photos: Russ Youngblood
davidatlanta.com | 49
Seen@
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Glitter Snow Ball at Heretic
photos: Russ Youngblood
confessions
Emotions work much like nature; they figure a way to grow around an obstacle. You can try to drink, drug, shop, fuck, overwork or any other means you choose to avoid what’s inside of you, but the top will eventually boil over. When it does, there’s one hell of a mess to clean up. Some funky shit has gone down over the last couple of years. I justified the trouble that drinking caused by chalking it up to “just drunken shenanigans.” Until the top boiled over.
Leave the bottle
NATURE TOOK ITS COURSE, and the means I’d been using to avoid feelings no longer worked. Nature grew around me. Or rather, through me. It was time to examine an unexamined life. Peeking a little further down the well-worn path I was traveling scared the shit out of me. So I quit.
I WAS A SLIPPERY SLOPE DRINKER. I DIDN’T HAVE A DROP DURING THE WEEK AND COULD GO HOWEVER LONG WITHOUT A SIP. BUT ONCE DRINKING BEGAN, THERE WAS NO STOPPING. OH LOOK, IT’S THE NEVER ELUSIVE ‘BINGE DRINKER.’
A funny thing happens when you stop drinking. Beforehand, you have tons of friends and not a dull moment. When you quit, the party goes on without you. Sure, the calls and texts come flying in right after quitting, but cut to two months later. The cha cha is still cha cha’ing, and you ain’t there.
by Chris Vizzini
I JUST READ A QUOTE that almost put me into tears. “Happiness is feeling it all. Even when it hurts.” Most of you who know me might say I liked the spirits. A fan of the beverage. Tying one on. Smiling at the chilly prick. Getting a nice stiff one. Choose your poorly phrased euphemisms as you please. My career as a binge drinker began innocently enough. Mary Mary, quite contrary to what most people know of my bar persona, I’m terribly shy and socially, well, special. The first time I had a drink, all the self-consciousness evaporated like a pest on a bug zapper. I thought to myself, “Holy shitballs, not only am I not shy, it feels awesome!” Shampoo. Rinse. Repeat. For 15 years. Here’s what I learned of drinking thus far: • • • •
Drinking is fun until it’s not. Picking fights with people much larger than you is a bad idea. Picking fights with two people much larger than you is an even worse idea. Police cars are much louder when you are in them.
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•
Nurses are much less inclined to You’re at home feeling those weird, idiohelp you when you call them cunts. syncratic annoyances that you’ve been dodging. You cry and think, and cry and I could explain all of that, but I know the think back, and cry and think even further meter is ticking so let’s CliffsNotes this. back. Did I mention cry? shall we? I QUIT DRINKING 150 days ago. Well, WE ALL LEARNED AS KIDS that ear- it should be 151 days, but I went out one nestly trying to place a cube through a night to test a theory based on this questriangular hole won’t work, no matter tion: Was the cha cha that was still cha how delightful the idea. Well, I was try- cha’ing without me the blast I remember? ing to shove a Dodecahedron though the through the triangular hole. Repeatedly. It I went out and had three drinks which is was fun until it wasn’t. like an appetizer for my liver. And it wasn’t fun. I was missing nothing. Add the shyness factor. I have these weird, idiosyncratic annoyances called Not that my current trip is fireworks out feelings. I wasn’t particularly comfortable my anus, but this dirt road will become with them, and I chose the escape route in brick, the brick to pavement. Make no misthe bottle. It worked! Until it didn’t. take, though. It’s not for nothing. It hurts like a fresh cinder from hell landed right I developed this nasty habit of com- in your eyeball, but it’s better than binge partmentalizing feelings during the drinking. At least for me. week only to go drinking sometimes on the weekend with the justification of I’m now just feeling the feelings, even blowing off steam. Then the feelings when they hurt. started to ramp up until “sometimes on the weekend” became “every week- Chris Vizzini is a freelance writer living end, all weekend.” in Atlanta. Reach him via this magazine.
kyle’s bed & breakfast
Website - www.kylecomics.com 58 | 12.23.15
E-Mail - KylesBnB@aol.com
by Greg Fox
davidatlanta.com | 59
F1 B1 Amsterdam Ave.
NE tA ve .
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B6 12th St. NE
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14th St. NE
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H1
Ponce De Leon Pl. NE
10th St. NE
4th St. NE
C1
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Ponce De Leon Ave. NE
Midtown Bars
B1 Amsterdam B2 B3 B4 B5 B6
502 Amsterdam Ave NE Blake's 227 10th St NE Bulldogs 893 Peachtree St NE Friends 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE The Model T 699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE My Sister’s Room 66 12th St NE
Dining D1 D2 D3 D4 D5 D6
10th & Piedmont 991 Piedmont Ave NE Einstein's 1077 Juniper St NE F.R.O.G.S 931 Monroe Cir NE G’s Midtown 219 10th St NE Henry’s 132 10th St NE Joe's on Juniper 1049 Juniper St NE
B4
Ponce De Leon Ave. NE
D7 La Hacienda
900 Monroe Dr NE D8 Ten Atlanta 990 Piedmont Ave NE
Clubs
C1 Atlanta Eagle
306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
Hair/Beauty H1 Helmet
970 Piedmont Ave NE
Fitness
F1 Urban Body Fitness
500 Amsterdam Ave NE
Spa/Bath S1 Flex Spa
76 4th St NW Billiards/Darts Dancers Drag Leather Non-Smoking Area Patio
The club where men do it! Thursday 9pm - 4am Friday 9pm - 6pm Saturday 9pm - 6pm Sunday 9pm - 4am 2103 Faulner Rd (Cheshire Bridge)
Open X-mas Eve & X-mas Under the flag, next to the Jungle
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2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd B2 Opus 1 1086 Alco St NE B3 Tripps 1931 Piedmont Cir NE B4 Woof's 2425 Piedmont Rd NE
Dining
D1 Las Margaritas
1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd
D2 Roxx
1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd
Clubs
C1 Heretic
Pi
Brid
F1
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2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd
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R1 Barking Leather 805 Lambert Dr., Suite A R2 Southern Nights 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd
Fitness
F1 Gravity Fitness
2201 Faulkner Rd NE
1492 Piedmont Ave NE
B2 Felix's
1510 Piedmont Ave NE B3 The Hideaway 1544 Piedmont Ave NE B4 Mixx 1492 Piedmont Ave NE B5 Oscar's 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
D1 Cowtippers
1600 Piedmont Ave NE
R1 Boy Next Door
1447 Piedmont Ave NE
R2 Brushstrokes/Pleasures 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
Hair/Beauty H1 Bubbles Salon
1579 Monroe Dr NE
Spa/Bath S1 Club Eros
2219 Faulkner Rd NE S2 The Den 2135 Liddell Dr NE S3 Manifest 4 U 2103 Faulkner Rd NE
Not Shown
Bars The Cockpit Atlanta 465 Boulevard SE Mary's 1287 Glenwood Ave SE Sister Louisa’s Church 466 Edgewood Ave SE Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr NW
Dining Lips Atlanta 3011 Buford Hwy NE Club Club Rush 2715 Buford Hwy NE Spa/Bath Qi Clay Sauna 130 Buford Hwy A-107
2115 Faulkner Rd NE davidatlanta.com | 61
bartab
got an upcoming event?
calendar@davidatlanta.com
Monday
Friday
10TH & PIEDMONT Half Price Wine Bottles BLAKE’S Trivia at 10pm. $250 Cash/Prizes • Martini Monday’s with Doug and Heros • Music and Video both levels til 3am BURKHART’S Blue Monday Karaoke with Darlene at 10PM EAGLE Music Videos with Scotty FELIX’S Free Pool All Day FRIENDS Texas Hold’em 8 pm HIDEAWAY Industry Night 1/2 Off Well, Domestic, & Wine JUNGLE Stars of the Century Show 11:30pm MODEL T Monday Night Madness 8pm MY SISTER’S ROOM Industry Night OSCAR’S Service Industry Night with Eric SWINGING RICHARDS Hip-Hop Night, Sponsored by Hennessy 8:30pm
10TH & PIEDMONT Half Price Happy Hour Menu 5-7pm BLAKE’S TGIF with Doug & Brent 3-9pm • “Deadly Vixens” Drag Show 11pm • Bill Berdeaux Spins Street Level BURKHART’S FEMME FATALE with Destiny Brooks and Justice Taylor at 11PM CLUB RUSH “Got Leche” Free entry until 11pm 18 & up - Open until 4am EAGLE DJ Dance Party FELIX’S Pour It On Me Rock Party w/DJ Darlene and our Sexy Shot Bois- 10pm FRIENDS Happy Time Friday Kelly & Ken 6 pm G’S Friday Night Dance Party with DJ Ryan Baker 10PM HERETIC PUMP featuring Atlanta’s hottest deejays - Occasional special events. No cover b4 11 HIDEAWAY $5 Smirnoff drinks & Martinis DJ Marc J. Cubs @10pm in back room JUNGLE The Other Show with Edie Cheezburger 9:30pm LIPS ATLANTA Glitz & Glamour Las Vegas Style MODEL T Texas Hold’em Poker 9pm MY SISTER’S ROOM Dance Party upstairs featuring Drag, DJs & Hosts OSCAR’S Music Video Night SWINGING RICHARDS T-Shirt Review,$10 TEN ATLANTA Music & Videos by DJ Daryl Cox 10pm
Tuesday BLAKE’S Latin Night with Guest DJ’s • 1/2 Priced Menu ‘til Midnight BURKHART’S DRAG-EOKE with Angelica D’Paige at 10PM CLUB RUSH “Tipsy Tuesday” 18 & up - Open until 4am FELIX’S Karaoke with Darlene - 10pm HIDEAWAY Game night: Poker and blackjack 7:30 Trivia with Jason Walker 8:30 LAS MARGARITAS Cuban Night - $12.95 All You Can Eat Cuban Buffet & $5 Mojitos MODEL T Texas Hold’em Poker 7pm MY SISTER’S ROOM Industry Night OSCAR’S Show Tune Tuesday with Chad- 8 pm SWINGING RICHARDS 1/2 Price cover
Wednesday BLAKE’S Party Pop wth Doug 3-9pm. “Voyeur Wednesday” Go-go guys, 10 p.m. BURKHART’S HUMPDAY KARAOKE with Darlene at 10PM FELIX’S Wild Out Wednesday w/Nicole Paige Brooks, Mychelle LaCroix DuPree & Mo’Dest Volgare - 11pm FRIENDS Hump Night with Regina Simms HERETIC WarpZone Video Game Night 7pm - Pig Dance Black Out Party DJ Stan Jackson 10pm-3am NO COVER HIDEAWAY Beauty and the beat! Ruby Redd Charity Bingo @8:30 free to play. karaoke W/ Tyler @ 11:00 $ 3.00 well drinks all day long JUNGLE Drag Wars - doors open at 9 and show starts at 10 - $250 Cash Prize based on audience applause LIPS ATLANTA Bitchy Bingo MODEL T Wonderful Wednesdays 7pm MY SISTER’S ROOM Karaoke
Thursday BLAKE’S Texas Hold em Poker 7pm “I - Candy” Street level with Shawnna Brooks 11pm BURKHART’S DANCEFLOOR DIVAS with Phoenix (RuPaul’s Drag Race s3) at 11:30PM EAGLE Balls Deep Karaoke w/ Mikey FACES LOUNGE The All Star Cabaret Drag Show & Karaoke FELIX’S Killer King Karaoke w/Tyler King - 10pm FRIENDS Texas Hold’em 8pm; Ladies Night 10 pm G’S Game Night with Brent Star 9PM HERETIC 3 Legged Cowboy Night 9pm Free dance lessons 8-9pm. No cover. HIDEAWAY Hot Mic’ Comedy w/ Ian Aber at 10pm followed by Karaoke at 11:30. Draft Beer Special LAS MARGARITAS Dirty South Trivia $5 Smirnoff & Cuervo Drinks. House Cash Prizes & $5 Wings LIPS ATLANTA Dinner with the Divas MODEL T Pre-Weekend Party! 7pm MY SISTER’S ROOM College Night - King of Thrones Drag Show OSCAR’S Twisted Thursday with Eric SWINGING RICHARDS 2-4-1 VIP & Entry 62 | 12.23.15
Saturday 10TH & PIEDMONT Bottomless Mimosa Brunch BLAKE’S Open at 1pm • “Glitter Bomb” w Edie Cheezburger, Shavonna Brooks • Guest DJs Upstairs 10pm-close. BURKHART’S SYNERGY with Shawnna Brooks and Monica Van Pelt at 11PM CAMPAGNOLO Legendary Musician Robert Ray on the piano 10pm-1am EAGLE DJ Dance Party FELIX’S Superstar Karaoke w/Diva Darlene and our Sexy Shot Bois - 10pm FRIENDS Free Pool with Bryan 2-6 pm; Let’s Make A Deal with Ken 6-10 pm HERETIC Varies. EARLY COUNTRY (8pm-12:30am) & LATE NIGHT DANCE with Billboard DJ MIKE POPE @12:30-close. No cover except special events. HIDEAWAY $2.50 All Well Drinks JUNGLE Fantasy Girls 9pm; Club Night, Various Guest DJ’s LIPS ATLANTA Glitz & Glamour Las Vegas Style MODEL T Texas Hold’em Poker 3pm MY SISTER’S ROOM Brunch 11:30am-4pm - Dance Party upstairs featuring Drag, DJs & Hosts OSCAR’S DJ Christopher Kind SWINGING RICHARDS T-Shirt Review $10 TEN ATLANTA Music & Videos by DJ Rob Reum 10pm
Sunday 10TH & PIEDMONT Bellini Brunch BLAKE’S Open at 1pm - Bloody Mary’s with Robin. Texas Hold em Poker Upstairs 2pm. High Energy with DJs Will Bryan & Bill Berdeaux. BURKHART’S Tossed Salad hosted by Brigitte Bidet - Music & Drinks 8pm - Showtime 9pm CLUB RUSH Hip Hop and R&B - 18 & up - Open until 4am FELIX’S Bloody Mary & Mimosa’s All Day FRIENDS DJ hosts Sunday Delights 2 pm-closing HIDEAWAY $3.50 wells the Armorettes @8:00 LIPS ATLANTA Gospel Brunch w/ Bubba D. Licious LAS MARGARITAS Papi’s $17.95 Unlimited Brunch & Choice of Mimosas, Sangrias, Bloody Maria’s, & Mojitos MODEL T Karaoke for a Cause 8pm MY SISTER’S ROOM Brunch 11:30am-4pm - T Dance Party featuring $3 Mimosas & $5 Bloody Marys TEN ATLANTA Brunch 11am & music by DJ Rob Reum inside and DJ Robert Ansley on the patio 4pm
FULL BODY MASSAGE by Walter @ 404-872-5671 (8th St. @Monroe Dr.) Only $40..Shave too License No. MT003122
davidatlanta.com | 63
advice
Dear Dom, I figure most gays are like me and love the big D. The bigger the better. Give me that porn-quality meat and supersize it! I don’t know if porn has ruined me, if I’ve been lucky with sizeable partners, or if I’m just crazy, but I’m obsessed about my small penis. Of course no penis is too big, but how small is too small? I’m about 6 inches, and I want to get naked without feeling ashamed. Six Inches, Zealously Envious
Dear Dom,
Every Single Question... Every Single Answer Dear Dom,
Dear SIZE, You’ve had sex with TRIPOD, haven’t you? Anyway, I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is that you can rest assured when undressing. But your perception of reality needs adjustment, and that hinders getting guys into the bedroom in the first place. Your penis is actually above average. Research shows the average penis is 5.1 inches long. Yes, really. And not all gay men are size queens. In fact, some don’t like too much of a good thing. Your self-assessment is what really needs help. You like what you like, and other guys like what you offer – if you stop being ashamed of what you don’t have and start making the most of what you do.
Dear Dom, I’m well endowed, which is supposed to be a good thing. The problem is that my dick is more popular than I am. I’ve always wanted to try a cock ring, but I don’t know what to get or even how to put it on. I tied a shoestring My dating life is next to nowhere – until I mention my around it once, and I almost didn’t get the damn thing member. Then guys fall all over themselves to get at it. off. Can you help? But they’re not interested in me. They’re interested in Fasten It Tight the Ivory Tower. I hook up with some of them, but I’m left feeling lonely. How do I get guys to take me seri- Dear FIT, ously for dating? So you like it, and you want to put a ring on it. Right on, single lady! You’re on track to get a cock ring made specifically to be a cock Try Romance In Place Of the D ring. Promise me not to ever again tie a string around your enDear TRIPOD, gorged penis. The string gets tighter as you get harder, and it could restrict the blood flow so much that the string must be cut off – by You’re in your own way. You’re convinced that size matters more you or the emergency room attendant. Scissors down there while than you do, so it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. There are at least your piece turns purple is not the letter I want to answer. as many guys wanting dates as want hook ups, but you need to Cockrings indeed keep you stronger for longer and intensify your change your thinking – and your strategy. orgasm. Your friendly gayborhood adult retailer won’t shame Start with a time-out on tricking. Stop hooking up with every guy you and can help you decide on sizing, ease of use, materials who wants in your pants. It’s tough in the short run, but it’s good and ones easy-off closures like Velcro and snaps. to become known for giving the goods only to those who stick around after the soufflé falls.
Dom
In the meantime, wait until you click with a guy before revealing your little friend, er, big buddy. Rather than whip our your secret weapon in order to secure their interest, treat your honker like a bonus surprise for the right guy who earns it with an interest in the rest of you. 64 | 12.23.15
Advice columnist Dom has been there and done that with most everything. He isn’t shy about any question, and he’s never ashamed of any topic. If you have burning gay questions the internet just can’t put out, give him a shout via this magazine. Warning: Advice given in this column is intended for entertainment and novelty purposes. Please proceed at your own risk.
FREE TO LISTEN AND REPLY TO ADS Free Code: David
FIND REAL GAY MEN NEAR YOU Atlanta:
(404) 244-7000 www.megamates.com 18+
davidatlanta.com | 65
fairyscopes
presented by
the armorettes
ARIES (Mar. 20 – Apr. 19):
LIBRA (Sep. 23 – Oct. 22):
TAURUS (Apr. 20 – May 20):
SCORPIO (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21):
GEMINI (May 21- Jun. 20):
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 – Dec. 20):
CANCER (Jun. 21- Jul. 22):
CAPRICORN (Dec. 21 – Jan. 19):
LEO (Jul. 23 – Aug. 22):
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18):
VIRGO (Aug. 23 – Sep. 22):
PISCES (Feb. 19 – Mar. 19):
You’ll brag to others today about all the action you’ve been getting lately. You’ll go into gory detail and leave nothing to the imagination. But they’ll look at you in skepticism, and wonder why your nose keeps getting longer and longer.
You may find yourself attracted to a sexy new neighbor this week. That tingling sensation in your loins may be telling you that a romance could be in the offing. But asking him out could be risky, especially if you’re not sure which team he plays for.
Preaching about people’s fashion choices this week won’t get you anywhere. They’ll be loath to take your advice and you won’t understand why. But one glance in the mirror will tell you everything. So lose the pocket protector and suspenders before pointing out the fashion flaws of those around you.
Your energy flow will be reduced to a dribble at some time this week. A lack of sleep could be the culprit. So do your best to get through the week and stay off the Internet when you get home tonight. Staying in the gay chat rooms until the sun comes up could be the indicator of a deeper problem.
You seem to have boundless energy this week. Or do you? Pass on that fourth cup of coffee -- it may loosen your tongue enough to tell your coworkers all the sexy details about your latest conquest. That’ll be too much information for some of them, but others will want to hear even more ... and that’s just plain creepy.
You may have to dive headfirst into the abyss if you want to find romance this week. Risks can be a good thing, but you’ll never know unless you try. So give your phone number to the cute guy at the coffee shop. And try not to look surprised when he asks what took you so long. 66 | 12.23.15
You’ll get good responses to ideas you pitch to your boss this week. So hit the social scene filled with the confidence of having such a positive week. But don’t expect to get a similar reaction from the guys you hit on around town, and be prepared to have more than one drink thrown in your face.
Beware of persuasive people this week. They may strike when your will is weak and talk you into performing some unsavory acts. Unless, of course, you’re into role-playing where he’s the naughty king and you’re the naked serf. Then you’re on your own.
Expect the unexpected. This week it could come in both positive and negative forms. You could win the lottery, get fired from your job or meet the man of your dreams. The latter will sound promising until you realize that he doesn’t speak your language and he’s wearing adult diapers.
Like the twin giants Jupiter and Saturn, most of the men you’ll meet this week will be bloated and gassy. There won’t be anything wrong with that; they’re just not your type. But hang in there. There’s sure to be a Venus or Mars willing to orbit your sun, although at this point you’ll settle for Uranus.
A glimpse of heaven may lure you into a descent into hell. Looks can be deceiving; an angel may be the devil in disguise. So keep your eyes wide open all week. There won’t be a ladder in the world tall enough to lead you out of the abyss you’ll so willingly fall into.
Luck will be on your side when you find yourself sitting on the bus next to the hottie you’ve been pining for. But luck can only go so far, and it’ll be up to you to take the next step. Will you say hello or sit there tongue-tied and stammering? Better decide soon because the next stop is his.
Bitch
S E S S I O N
SEND US YOUR BITCHES! Text 404.969.BTCH, tweet @BitchSessionATL or email bitch@davidatlanta.com *This page reflects the bitchiness of the community not David Atlanta or its publisher (although we’re bitchy too!)
Pretty sure that Harvey Milk didn’t die so you could suck dick in private and be a sanctimonious jackass out in the open.
These entitled, pretentious, whiny little bitches are what we get when we let Lady Gaga happen. No one is born that way.
You say, ‘It’s whatever,’ but what you really mean is ‘It’s everything and if you don’t get it right, I’ll make you pay to no end.’
When you come back around for me, and you will, I’ll be gone. Buh-bye.
All that’s left is if you got your period, then you’d be a girl. If I was interested in dating girls, I’d be straight.
One bitch’s fuck up is another bitch’s opportunity to berate him for it.
68 | 12.23.15
You’re always looking for a shortcut or a lackey. You won’t always have me around to do stuff for you.
That sweater still wouldn’t be cute on someone twice her height and half her age.
Putting ‘No offense’ or ‘I’m sorry’ in front of bitchy insults doesn’t make it OK. It’s offensive and you should be sorry. Saw your butt bouncing at the gym, then realized it was you. That’s what got me into this mess. #liveandlearn