David Magazine Issue 677

Issue 677 Jan 4–11 | 2012

David Magazine is proud to start using eco-friendly recyclable paper and soy based inks.

We commit to working with our community for a smaller carbon footprint in 2012.

David | Atlanta Issue 676 | Jan 4-11, 2012 David Magazine 650 Hamilton Ave. Suite H Atlanta, GA 30312 404.418.8901

Contents 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 26 26 30

34 36 38 40 42 46 48

50 53 54 58 60 62

TV Talk | What’s New Midseason Scene@ Blake’s Men Seeking Men Fightin the LGBT Homeless Youth Epidemic WTF!?!? | Losing Your Faghag Happy Booty Year! Glutes in the New Year A Couple of Gays Music Top 10 Protect Your Monster Thinking Out Loud | Prop 8’s Slow Crawl to the U.S. Supreme Court The Outfield | Year of the Gay in Sports Scene@ Bliss Bartab | map Music Review | Top 10 Recent Country Songs Scene@ Ruby Redd Bingo Bartab | calendar Cocktail Chatter | What to Do with Cheap Champagne Scene@ Gilbert’s Classifieds Adult Classifieds La Nota Rosa | El Tiempo… Pasa FairyScopes Bitch! Session

Publisher David Thompson david@davidatlanta.com Editor in Chief Maximilian Corwell max@davidatlanta.com Art Director Kiki Carr kiki@davidatlanta.com Sales Manager Chip O’ Kelley chip@davidatlanta.com Sales Steve Tyrell steve@davidatlanta.com Bob Swanson bob@davidatlanta.com Elijah Sarkeson Jesse Morgan jesse@davidatlanta.com Tom Dempsey tom@davidatlanta.com Writers Joseph Brownell Lucas Witherspoon Tristan Timothy Dustin Shelby Richard Marshall Brent Star Photography Randall Carpenter Webmaster Joseph Brownell IT Jamie Scarbrough National Ad Rep Rivendell Media 908.232.2031 Add us on Facebook!

DavidAtlanta

The content of this Publication is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Magazine are not necessarily those of the Publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the Magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose.

It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through this Publication meets your specific requirements. The Publication is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The Magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to the Publication, including but not limited to articles, advertisement, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of this Publication may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the Publisher. Unauthorized use of this Publication may give rise to claims for damages and or criminal offenses. Your use of the information or materials in the Publication is strictly at your own risk.

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TV Talk

What’s New Midseason

C

ancellations have been made to make room for a slew of new shows starting in the winter and early spring. Here’s a sneak peek at what you can expect to see.

NBC

Smash (Premieres February 6th): This screams gay appeal. Smash is a television show centered around the making of a Broadway show about Marylin Monroe. It stars Debra Messing (Will and Grace), Anjelica Houston, Megan Hilty (Wicked) and Katharine McPhee (American Idol). The buzz surrounding this show is great and NBC desperately needs a hit so here’s hoping for a Smash.

The Firm (2 hour Premiere Sunday January 8th; moves to Thursdays January 12th): I remember a time when every John Grisham novel was made into a movie before the first person could even finish reading it. NBC is banking on The Firm to bring in solid ratings. I’m not sure how the show will translate but lead actor Josh Lucas (Sweet Home Alabama) is hot. I would definitely have no objections to seeing his legal briefs in a scene or two.

FOX

Alcatraz (Premieres January 16th): I’ve always tried to like Fox’s Monday nights. First Prison Break, then Terra Nova, and now Alcatraz.

The one thing Alcatraz has going for it is it’s

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from executive producer J.J. Abrams, the man behind Lost and Alias. It also stars Lost alum Jorge Garcia. Hopefully it won’t get locked up in a ratings war with Two and Half Men and The Bachelor.

ABC

GCB (Premieres March 4th)- Based upon the book Good Christian Bitches, GCB is a dramedy that chronicles a former Queen Bee’s move back to the city where she graduated high school following a divorce. She may have changed but people never forget how they were treated in high school. It stars Leslie Bibb, Kristin Chenoweth and Annie Potts and promises to be to snarky, sassy fun.

Missing (Premieres March 15th)- Ashley Judd stars in this espionage thriller as a mom whose past is dredged up by the disappearance of her son while studying abroad. I’ve always loved Judd in action roles so if we can’t get Jennifer Garner back to TV, Judd is the perfect replacement.

Speaking of missing, ABC has yet to announce to return for their hilarious comedy Cougar Town.

I need my PENNYCAN fix . . . NOW! We’ve been assured it hasn’t been canceled but the episode order has been cut back to 15. ABC really needs to give this show a chance like they did with Happy Endings maybe even pair them up next season on a Sunday comedy block.

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n n n

Amy Swartz

Lee Ansiman

MD, Internal Medicine, Certified HIV Specialist

MD, Medical Director, Certified HIV Specialist

Primary Care & HIV Physician Services 15 years of excellence Proudly serving the LGBTQ community

David H. Morris Rodney Fox MD, Family Practice,, Certified HIV Specialist

Nurse Practitioner, Certified HIV Specialist

Pride Medical provides state-of-the-art comprehensive quality medical care in a multidisciplinary environment. Also: Free anonymous HIV testing, Massage therapy, On-site Infusion therapy, Mental health counseling, In-House Pharamcy.

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Fighting the LGBT Homeless Youth Epidemic

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by Lucas Witherspoon

hen we as LGBT people have our “coming out,” it’s generally considered our own personal manumit. It’s meant to be a liberating moment that finally frees us from the slavery of pretending to be someone we’re not. While most of us are met with support from our families, friends, and/ or the larger LGBT community, some are not as fortunate.

For far too many LGBT youth, “coming out” results in their excommunication from their family and/or friends, leaving them alone to cope with what is already a difficult situation.

Subsequently, many find themselves homeless and alone.

The homelessness of LGBT youth is not a new issue, and it has started to gain more notoriety thanks to celebrities like Cyndi Lauper and Wendy Williams who have espoused organizations that help homeless LGBT youth (Cyndi even started her own shelter for LGBT youth in Harlem called the True Colors Residence), but it has nonetheless reached epidemic status. For example, in New York City, it’s estimated that more than 40 percent of the 3,800 homeless youth are LGBT, yet there are only 250 city or state-funded youth shelter beds in the entire city. That’s 250 beds in our nation’s most populous city, a city with more than 22 million people.

Carl Siciliano, executive director of the Ali Forney Center, a NYC-based shelter for LGBT youth, just wrote an excellent article for The Huffington Post that astutely highlights the challenges homeless LGBT youth face. They’ve not only been deemed disposable by their families, but now struggle to survive on the streets, facing harassment, eviction, and the perceived 14 | davidatlanta

Sister Lost & Found 678.8-LOST-25 hotline for homeless queer youth in Atlanta need to sell their bodies just to make enough money for a morsel of food or to cheaply rent a place to stay for the night.

In Atlanta, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, a non-profit group that dresses in drag as nuns and raises money for various LGBT causes, have organized Saint Lost and Found, a program designed to find immediate housing for homeless LGBT youth. Additionally, there’s the CHRIS Kids Rainbow Program, which “provides a safe and supportive residence for homeless and runaway gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth,” according to their website. [Editor’s note: CHRIS Kids welcomes all homeless youth, and does not have special programs or housing specifically geared for queer youth.]

The plight of homeless youth in America is obviously not limited to LGBT youth, but LGBT youth in particular are at a much higher risk than their straight counterparts of finding themselves homeless. Many are kicked out of their homes simply for choosing to be themselves. While it’s encouraging that the issue is gaining a bit more national attention, it’s still an endemic that requires notice. It’s something that every person should be focusing on, but in particular the LGBT community.

As a community, there is a certain obligation to help those in need.

Writers, Editors, Photographers!

David Magazine is now seeking interns for Spring 2012: calendar editor photographers features writers editorial interns

Email editor@sovo.com with a resumé and samples of your work.

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WTF!?!?

Losing Your Faghag

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by Lucas Witherspoon

hether or not you have one, there’s no denying fag hags are an important component within the gay community. They’re our straight, female equivalents—the women we share secrets with and offer fashion advice to. But what happens when these fag hags mature and move on?

I’ve always said that one of the advantages of being gay is that we’re not expected to get married or have children in the same manner heterosexuals are. In the straight world, people kind of expect that by the time you’re 30, you’ll have at least settled down with one person, and preferably have at least one child.

As gay men, not

much is expected of us: we can’t legally marry in most states and can’t naturally procreate. Our fag hags, however, have the ability to do both, and usually do.

It’s clearly possible for a fag hag to manage both a family and her main homo, but a lot of times their families come first, obviously. There’s no shame in that whatsoever, it just means they’re no longer going to be heading downtown on a random Thursday to get shitfaced with us.

The choice of family over fag seems pretty apparent, but it nonetheless leaves us homos in an interesting position. On the one hand, when they gain a husband and child, it’s not unreasonable to expect that they’d then feel devotion to them.

On the other hand, are we really that disposable? In most cases, we’ve been around long before the husband and child(ren) came along, so it’s kind of offensive when we’re casually tossed aside, as selfish as it may sound. The relationship between a hag and her fag is already complex, but it becomes a motley conundrum when they “outgrow” us, so to speak.

Fortunately, as is true with most people in life, fag hags are replaceable. We had a lot of good times and laughs together, but there may inevitably come a point where it’s time to move on. I guess the solace in all of this is that while they’re breastfeeding and having boring sex with the same person, we still have the option to live like we’re 23 forever.

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Booty Poppin’ Jaw Droppin’

GLUTES

in the New Year

W

by Scott Herman

ant those tight and toned glutes that make people stop and stare? You’re going to have to work for them. Buns of steel don’t come easily and there are no shortcuts here. That’s the bad news. The good news is you don’t need to leave home to get them. All you need is a wide-open area and a soft mat.

For this routine you will be performing:

3 exercises 5 sets per exercise 20 reps per set 30-60 second rest between sets Be sure to stay hydrated and above all else, show off those hard earned BUNS OF STEEL!!!

Glute Salute

Begin by placing your hands, knees, and feet on the ground. While keeping your toes and hands in the same spot, elevate your hips until your feet are flat on the ground. Next, while keeping your core tight, raise your right leg as high as you can and flex your glutes as hard as you can at the same time.

Lower your right leg and then lift your left leg in the air keeping your core and glutes as tight as possible. Once you lower your left leg back to the ground, return back to the starting position and repeat. Breathe out as you raise each leg. davidatlanta | 19

Lateral Jump Squat

Start off by first finding a place where you have enough room to jump up as high as you can and sideto-side as far as you can.

Next start off by standing straight-up with your feet a bit wider than shoulderwidth apart. Go down into the squatting position and as you stand back up, explode and jump as high as you can and leap to the left. Land as soft as you can with your feet about shoulder-width apart and your body in the squat position. Once landed, stand straight-up and relax to complete the first rep. Repeat the same steps for rep two except that now you will be leaping to the right. Breathe out as you explode and leap!

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Lungilation

For this exercise you will need enough room to be able to lunge to the left and right as far as you can. Begin by placing your hands fingerlocked together behind your head and keep your core as tight as possible. Your feet should be about shoulderwidth apart and facing forward. Once in place, lunge to the right as far as you can with your right leg. Both feet should still be facing forward along with your core tight and hands behind your head.

Return to the middle and then lunge forward with your right leg, again keeping core tight and hands behind your head.

Return to the middle and now lunge forward with your left leg and then once again return to the middle and lunge to the left with your left leg to complete your first rep.

Be sure to breathe out each time you push off your foot to return to the middle.

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Thinking Out Loud

Prop 8’s Slow Crawl to Why it’s time to take a big risk for nationwide marriage equality

S

by Abby Dees

ometimes I wish lawsuits in real life were more like they are on TV. They’d wrap up in days rather than years, and they wouldn’t spend most of that time in the mind-numbing quagmire known as legal procedure. Such is the case with California’s Prop 8 trial, Perry v. Brown.

A quick refresher: Prop 8 is unique among state same-sex marriage bans for a number of reasons, perhaps the biggest being that it was found unconstitutional in federal trial court and is now moving, very slowly, through the appeals process.

It’s poised to go all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. No other LGBT marriage law has made it this far.

This means that California’s 2008 law could determine the fate of same-sex marriage for the whole country.

On Nov. 17, 2011 we all awoke to the cacophonous news that the California Supreme Court had issued a decision that will take Prop 8 to the next critical phase.

Wait, it wasn’t at the top of your newsfeed?

CNN didn’t interrupt programming to tell you?

OK, so maybe it was just me trawling the LGBT law-wonk websites and an email from Lambda Legal. Still, I can tell you that this is big news for us all.

Perhaps the reason you might have missed it is that for the last year Perry v. Brown has been stalled on a somewhat theoretical question of legal procedure. At issue is not any of the arguments about the fairness of Prop 8’s same-sex marriage ban, but rather who should

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defend it during appeal. Normally, when someone challenges state law, the Governor and the Attorney General (AG) automatically step in to defend it. But in Perry, Governor (and defendant) Jerry Brown and AG Kamala Harris have offered what I’ll call the “limp noodle” defense.

In other words, they’re totally fine with Prop 8 going down in flames on their watch. I think a thank you note to both of them is in order.

ProtectMarriage.com, the people who put Prop 8 on the ballot, desperately want to step in since the state won’t – because if no one’s there to defend the law, the marriage ban automatically ends with Judge Vaughn Walker’s 2010 ruling that Prop 8 is unconstitutional. Same-sex marriage would resume in California.

And they got their wish last month. Without going into the weird hot-potato specifics of how it came down, the gist is that ProtectMarriage. com gets to defend Prop 8 in the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals. Same-sex marriage will remain unlawful in California at least until it all gets worked out, maybe two years or more.

If I seem happy about this, there’s a reason. As a married lesbian in California I would have been thrilled to see Prop 8 off the books, and our state once again a model of equality. But then we’d have to start all over again somewhere else to tackle marriage equality nationwide, once and for all. I don’t want to wait.

There’s an old lawyer adage about Supreme Court cases: good cases make good law. And Perry is definitely a good case. Defense attorneys Olson and Boies built a thorough and nuanced record of exactly why Prop 8 is morally and legally

the U.S. Supreme Court wrong, while the other side looked ignorant and petty. My God, someone even turned the trial transcript into a play, it so beautifully illuminated the ideal of justice.

That perfectly crafted trial record of Perry v.

Brown is what the U.S. Supreme Court would be looking at closely to make their ruling. It’s hard to imagine a better foundation for a U.S. Supreme Court victory.

Yes, our High Court has never been so far to the right and there is a chance we will lose – a loss that will reverberate for perhaps generations.

But two things are painfully clear: First, the Court will only continue to keep moving right; and second, the traditional strategy of fighting for marriage equality in the states is failing us as voters continue to enshrine bigotry into their

state constitutions. I don’t believe there will be a better time than now to make our next bold move toward equality.

Abby is a civil rights attorney-turned-author who has been in the LGBT rights trenches for 25+ years (yes, she began in utero). Whether examining our community’s latest legal battles or the delicate etiquette of coming out to evangelicals at Christmastime, she always finds humor and compassion in even the most challenging situations. She is a busy presenter on diversity issues as well as the author of Queer Questions Straight Talk. She aspires to be famous for being highly quotable (and harbors some rock star fantasies too). She can be reached through her website: queerquestionsstraighttalk.com

The Outfield

Year of the Gay in Sports

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by Dan Woog n schools, in the military – and especially in sports – 2011 was The Year of the Gay.

High school, college, even professional athletes came out of the locker room closet.

Pro teams asked players to film “It Gets Better” videos – telling LGBT youngsters there is hope in the future – and a broad array of athletes responded. Spurred by intriguing subjects like former Phoenix Suns president and CEO Rick Welts (now president of the Golden State Warriors), the media jumped on stories examining nearly every aspect of “gays in sports.”

So what can 2012 do as an encore?

Plenty.

Professional teams can take a stand against homophobic chants and banners. (Yes, you, New York Rangers. The anti-gay atmosphere in Madison Square Garden is so bad, the New York Times says, that some LGBT fans have stopped attending games.)

Professional efforts

leagues

can

double their to combat

homophobia, and embrace diversity. It’s great that the National Basketball Association fined Kobe Bryant $100,000 after he called a referee a “faggot.” Now it’s time for all leagues to include same-sex couples in their promotional videos, sponsor floats at Gay Pride parades, bring in all executives for diversity training – you know, do the same things corporate America has done for years (with great success).

During this summer’s Olympics in London, the media should explore every gay story line (there will be many). Just four years ago in Beijing, Australian diver Matthew Mitcham won an improbable gold medal. NBC – which seldom misses any up-close-and-personal moment, the schmaltzier the better – announcers never said that Mitcham raised the money to bring his boyfriend, Lachlan to China. NBC never showed the medal ceremony, where Mitcham kissed Lachlan.

They never even said Mitcham was gay.

All of that is important. Chances are good that at least some of it will happen in 2012.

But the most crucial event of all still seems as far away as ever. Despite all the swimmers, ruggers and soccer players who have come out, we’re still waiting for the first active male athlete in one of America’s major sports’ top professional leagues – Major League Baseball, the NFL, NBA or NHL – to come out.

In 1998 I wrote “Jocks: True Stories of America’s Gay Male Athletes.”

A sequel – “Jocks 2: Coming Out to Play” – was published in 2002.

In countless interviews, I’ve been asked the same question: “When will a big-name male athlete come out?”

I always answered the same: “It won’t happen that way. Instead, some

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athlete who’s been out all along – in high school and college – will be drafted by a pro team. They’ll know he’s gay. They’ll want him because he’s good. So it will happen naturally, from the bottom up. The MVP of the Super Bowl won’t suddenly say, ‘I’m here. I’m queer.

I’m going to Disney World.”

That line always got laughs. I still believe we’re on the verge of seeing openly gay athletes work their way into the pros, without too much commotion.

But I’ve changed my mind on the importance of the issue. Now – a decade and a half after I first wrote about gay male athletes – there is still not one out male athlete in a major team sport. I’m tired of waiting. It’s time for one of dozens of candidates to seize the moment.

Earlier this year David Testo came out. He had just been released by the Montreal Impact, a Division II professional soccer club. Previously, he’d played with Major League Soccer’s Columbus Crew. Teammates knew he was gay – including big-time stars like Frankie Hejduk and Kyle Martino. Most didn’t care. He was popular, and developed deep friendships.

After coming out, Testo told MLSSoccer.com (the official league website, which impressively highlighted his story on its home page), “It can’t be that I’ve played professional soccer for 10 years and not known one

other gay player. You just have to imagine all the guys out there struggling with the same issue, and maybe if I take this step, it will create some kind of moment of change.”

Yet that was not the only reason Testo decided to come out publicly. Another was the recent suicide of 15-year-old Jamie Hubley.

The death of that gay teenager crystallizes for me the reason that an active, major league male athlete must come out this year.

He needs to send a message to everyone – teammates, opponents, the media, fans (especially young ones, gay and straight) – that we are indeed here. We’re queer. And we’re on your favorite big-league pro teams.

“It Gets Better” videos are nice. Knowing that an NBA executive is out is fine. But it’s past time for a major sports figure to tell the world who he really is.

So the last question is: Who is he? davidatlanta | 35

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map Bar | Club

1 2

Amsterdam

502 Amsterdam Ave. www.amsterdamatlanta.com

Bellissima

560-B Amsterdam Ave. www.myspace.com/ bellissima_lounge

3 Blakes on the Park 4 Bliss Atlanta 5 BJ Roosters 6 Bulldogs 7 Burkhart’s 8 Chaparral 9 Eagle 10 Felix’s 11 Friends on Ponce 12 Gilberts 13 Heretic 14 Joe’s on Juniper

227 10th St. www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com 2284 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.blissofatlanta.com 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.myspace.com/bjroostersat 893 Peachtree St.

1492 Piedmont Ave. www.burkharts.com

2715 Buford Hwy www.chaparralalternative.com 306 Ponce de Leon Ave. www.atlantaeagle.com 1510 Piedmont Ave

736 Ponce de Leon Ave. www.friendsonponce-atl.com 219 10th St. www.gilbertscafe.com

2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.hereticatlanta.com 1049 Juniper St www.joesonjuniper.com

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15 Jungle 16 LeBuzz 17 Las Margaritas 18 Mary’s 19 Mixx 20 Model T’s 21 My Sisters Room 22 Opus 1 23 Oscars Atlanta 24 Swinging Richards 25 The Cockpit 2115 Faulkner Rd. www.jungleclubatlanta.com

585 Franklin Rd SE # A-10 www.thenewlebuzz.com 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.lasmargaritasmidtown.com 1287 Glenwood Ave. www.marysatlanta.com

1492 Piedmont Ave - B www.mixxatlanta.com

699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE #11. www.modeltatlanta.com 1271 Glenwood Ave www.mysistersroom.com 1086 Alco St.

1510 Piedmont Ave NE www.oscarsatlanta.com 1400 Northside Dr. www.swingingrichards.com 465 Boulevard Ave www.thecockpit-atlanta. blogspot.com

26 The Hideaway

1544 Piedmont Rd NE, Suite 124. www.atlantahideaway. com

27 Tripps 28 Woofs 29 91

1931 Piedmont Circle www.trippsatlanta.com 2425 Piedmont Rd NE www.woofsatlanta.com 91 Broad St

Gym | Spa

30 Flex 31 Gravity Fitness 32 Manifest4U 76 4th St. www.flexbaths.com

2201 Faulkner Rd www.gravityatl.com

2103 Faulkner Road www.manifest4u.org

Retail

9 Rawhide Leather 33 Brushstrokes/ Capulets

at the Eagle. 404.881.0031

1510 Piedmont Ave. www.brushstrokesatlanta.com

34 Boy Next Door Bookstore 35 Outwrite & Café 1447 Piedmont Rd. www.boynextdoor.biz

991 Piedmont Ave. www.outwritebooks.com

36 Poster Hut Nights 37 Southern Videos

2175 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.myspace.com/posterhut

2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.southernnights.com

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Music Review

Top 10 Recent Country Songs

by Joseph Brownell

10. Trying to Be Me Sherrie Austin Sherrie Austin, who broke through the country scene in the late 90’s, is poised for a comeback after appearances on the gay favorite Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys, which filmed its second season in Nashville, TN. Released independently, Austin’s Circus Girl is chock full of amazing tracks but the coming-of-age Tryin’ to Be Me is one of the most honest tracks I’ve heard all year.

Message to Austin: Make this a single.

Message to country radio: Don’t miss the beat on this song.

9. Give Leann Rimes It’s sad that it seems Rimes has become the Lindsay Lohan of country music. Her affair with now-husband Eddie Cibrian and weight issues have overshadowed the fact that she released some great music this year. The oft-delayed Lady & Gentlemen not only covered songs made popular by men but featured a few original tunes including this ‘we can make the world can be a better place’ ballad. Rimes voice is stronger than

ever. Here’s to hoping we get an album of original material in 2012.

8. I’m Good Ashton Shepherd There’s no denying Shepherd is as country as they come. I saw her sing this summer literally barefoot and pregnant and when she’s not in the studio she’s selling vegetables, jellies and jams out of the back of her truck in Alabama. Critically acclaimed but commercially ignored, Shepherd just needs that one song that will break her through on country radio. Her voice is reminiscent of Patty Loveless and has a quality in it well beyond her 25 years. This track about an ex who calls you up out of the blue expecting you to still be pining after him could be that track.

7. Let’s Fight Julie Roberts Roberts placed on my top albums of 2011 list and this track is one of the reasons.

Carolina girl Roberts has a bluesy tone to her voice that injects each song with emotion.

Let’s Fight is a sexy tune to a man who doesn’t notice her anymore and if fighting is what it takes than fighting is what she’ll do to get some attention because we all know the making up is the best part. When Roberts coos “. . . under the sheets we can apologize let’s fight tonight . . .” you feel equal parts desperation and attraction.

6. Mean Taylor Swift Only Swift could answer critics and naysayers, call them mean like a kindergartner would do and release the most country sounding single of her career in under 4 minutes.

5. Remind Me Brad Paisley feat. Carrie Underwood Paisley and Underwood play the roles of lovers who have lost their passion for one another in this duet. I really related to this song because many of my past relationships never worked after the honeymoon stage was 40 | davidatlanta

over- you know that stage when you first meet and you spend all your time together. Getting past that stage takes a lot of work because life just gets in the way. When Underwood sings, “ . . . do you remember how it used to be we’d turn out the lights and didn’t just sleep . . .” you can feel the yearning of two people who want to be together.

4. Somewhere with You Kenny Chesney Anyone who knows me knows that Chesney is not one of my favorite artists but he struck gold this year with this driving track. It almost seems like it should be a pop song and maybe that’s why I like it so much. It weaves the tale of a destructive relationship and how hard it is to break free from the memory.

3. Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not Thompson Square Ah, new love. Remember that first time you really wanted to kiss someone? Just to taste their lips? This song brings back those

memories all tied together with a great storyline.

2. Shut Up Train Little Big Town From their amazing Scattered Smothered and Covered series, where they cover such artists as Lady Gaga, to their own releases, Little Big Town is a band who deserves to be on top. Their harmonies are often reminiscent of Fleetwood Mac and this ballad is an amazing metaphor for someone trying to lose a memory.

1. A Little Bit Stronger Sara Evans After a messy divorce and a much needed break from the spotlight, Evans returned in 2010 with this powerhouse track co-written

by Lady Antebellum’s Hilary Scott. Featured in the movie Country Strong, this track slowly climbed to the tops of charts and Evans was able to sit proudly at the summit because this wasn’t just a song to her, it was her story. davidatlanta | 41

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calendar MONDAY

WEDNESDAY

BLAKES ON THE PARK

BLAKES ON THE PARK

THE EAGLE Comedy TV- Free Pool

THE EAGLE 80’s Music with Travis

FRIENDS ON PONCE

FRIENDS ON PONCE Bingo 8pm

Drag On The Edge Show 11pm

Bad Boy Brian opens at 2pm

HERETIC Industry Night with Brian; Dance Floor Open @ 10pm

JUNGLE Stars of the Century Show 11pm THE HIDEAWAY $2.50 Domestic Beer FELIX’S Free Pool THE COCKPIT Big Red Cup Mondays All Day & 1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm

TUESDAY BLAKES ON THE PARK I Gotta Sing!

Hosted by Jealose & Jerry (Karaoke) 11pm

THE EAGLE Tuesdays with Tony FRIENDS ON PONCE

Let’s Make a Deal 6pm

HERETIC Time Warp – 70’s, 80’s, & 90’s

Music with Paul; Dance Floor Opens 10pm

SWINGING RICHARDS

No Cover Before Midnight, $5 After

THE HIDEAWAY

Service Industry Night - Employee Prices.

Trivia w/ Will 9pm - 11pm

FELIX’S Smirnoff Martini Night THE COCKPIT DUDE: 80s Party, 9pm & 1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm

CHAPARRAL HipHop til 4am, $5

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Feathers & Flesh Burlesque Revue 11pm

HERETIC H.U.M.P Dress Code Party w/ DJ Lydia Prim.

SWINGING RICHARDS 2-4-1 VIP Room THE HIDEAWAY Craps & Blackjack with Miss Lauren

THE COCKPIT

Balls Deep Karaoke, 10pm with Mikey and Wesley &1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm

THURSDAY BLAKES ON THE PARK

Texas Hold’Em Poker 7pm, The Shawna Factor Show, 11pm

THE EAGLE Karaoke with Mikey FRIENDS ON PONCE Where Girls Who Like Girls Meet Girls all night

HERETIC : 3- Legged Cowboy Night @ 10pm; Dance Lessons @ 8pm

JUNGLE Cherry Pop Thursday!

LAS MARGARITAS

Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30pm

SWINGING RICHARDS

2-4-1 VIP Room & 2-4-1 Door Entry

THE HIDEAWAY Levi & Leather Night FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm THE COCKPIT

Dirty Boy Bingo, 9pm w/ Ruby Redd

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

BLAKES ON THE PARK

BLAKES ON THE PARK

THE EAGLE DJ Dance Party

THE EAGLE DJ Dance Party

FRIENDS ON PONCE

FRIENDS ON PONCE

HERETIC Primal Urges with DJ Lydia Prim;

HERETIC Club Night, Various Guest DJ’s.

JUNGLE Club Night, Various DJ’s

JUNGLE Club Night, Various Guest DJ’s.

SWINGING RICHARDS

SWINGING RICHARDS

CHAPARRAL Got Leche? til 4am, $10

FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm

THE HIDEAWAY

THE COCKPIT Rotating VJ’s & DJ’s,

FELIX’S Bartenders Serve It Up!

SWINGING RICHARDS

Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix Show 11pm

Happy Times with Bad Boy Brian & Ken

No Cover Before 10pm, $5 after

Open @ noon with Bob Brewer

No Cover Before 11pm.

T-Shirt Review, $10 Cover

T-Shirt Review, $10 Cover

After Work Martini Madness

(resident DJ, Diablo Rojo)

THE COCKPIT Rotating VJ’s & DJ’s, (resident DJ, Diablo Rojo)

Jealose’s Daring Diva’s Show 11pm

T-Shirt Review, $10 Cover

CHAPARRAL Dance Party FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm THE COCKPIT Rotating VJ’s & DJ’s, (resident DJ, Diablo Rojo)

CHAPARRAL DJ Jay McKracken, $5

SUNDAY BLAKES ON THE PARK

Sunday Brunch 12-3, DJ’s Bill Berdeaux and Daryl Cox Spin All Night.

FRIENDS ON PONCE Bad Boy Brian’s Smirnoff B Mary Bar 12:30pm

LAS MARGARITAS

All You Can Eat Brunch 11am-3pm

THE HIDEAWAY

Make Your Own Bloody Mary Bar 12:30pm

FELIX’S

Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers

THE COCKPIT

PBR Beer Bust -- Open & Pouring

CHAPARRAL Hip Hop w DJ Truz, no cover

calendar | BARTAB davidatlanta | 47

Cocktail Chatter

What to Do with Cheap Champagne

by Ed Sikov

D

an and I got home from our one-night honeymoon at the beach to find five silver or gold bags waiting for us in the mailroom. More chaƒmpagne – of sorts. Only one bottle met our snobby standards: a Taittinger Prestige Rose. The others were destined for more Kir Royales – either that or re-gifting.

“Mmmmmm! Champ-AGG-nee!” I squealed in the voice of Curly from The Three Stooges each time Dan opened a package. I do a pretty good Curly, but by the fourth time it was wearing very thin.

“Stop doing that,” Dan said.

“I can’t help it,” I replied. “It’s Pavlovian.”

“That’s bullshit,” he said. “You’re just trying to irritate me.” (I silently admitted that he was correct.) “And I’m sick of Kir Royales,” he continued edgily, “so don’t make any more. I’m hungry, I’m tired, and I don’t know why we don’t have more sophisticated friends.” He stomped toward the bedroom.

“Then I’ll make Queer Royales,” I declared, having no idea what the drink would contain.

“OK, I’ll bite,” he said. “What’s in a Queer Royale?”

Sudden inspiration: “Creme de Violette!”

“I love you,” Dan said as he marched back into the living room to kiss me. “Put a bottle of this… this… ‘cava’ in the freezer while we unpack.”

“Cava is dead to us,” I announced for at least the 75th time.

“There’s a clause in our pre-nup that says that if you say ‘cava is dead to us’ one more time you get nothing in the divorce settlement,” he said as he stripped off his shirt. It was a sight I’ve seen daily for 10 years, and it still produced a

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rush. I couldn’t wait to curl up next to him in bed and grope him.

I dialed Chen’s Sichuan and placed our usual order: seafood dumplings and Chicken with Peanuts for Dan, who doesn’t like heat, and the spicy tripe appetizer and the Fiery Shredded Pork for me.

By the time Dan came out of the shower and dressed, the food had already arrived, the biking delivery boy leaving a trail of petrified pedestrians and drivers alike from his race to our building. I put two new, tall Waterford champagne flutes on the table (getting married is a blast!), each with a few drops of Creme de Violette already poured. I popped the cork (just like Fyedka; see above) and poured.

The resulting color was strange; gold and violet don’t blend well. But the taste was superb. We polished off the doctored cava during dinner.

“I love our cheap friends,” said a tipsy, happy Dan as I poked the last piece of blistering-hot pork in my mouth.

“Let’s go to bed,” I said, still chewing. “Now.” “Brush your teeth for the full two minutes and I’ll consider it,” said Dan as he reached into my boxers from the bottom. So this is what they mean by “second honeymoon.”

The Queer Royale 1 bottle of cava, prosecco, or other champagne variant A few drops of Creme de Violette Put a few drops of the crème de violette in as many champagne flutes as you have guests, then carefully pour in the ersatz champagne so that the flute doesn’t overflow. Keep as much fizz as possible. davidatlanta | 49

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La Nota Rosa

El Tiempo… Pasa por Luis Chiruco Ya pasó la Navidad. Otro año más. Cada vez pasa más rápido el tiempo. Cuando llegan estas fechas (mitad tristes, mitad alegres) aprovecho para leer, bueno mejor dicho, releer unas... no sé cómo definirlas...reflexiones, poesías, pensamientos por escrito de Gloria Fuertes.

Poetisa, mujer comprometida más conocida por sus textos para niños, también escribío para adultos y para gente que empezamos a ser adultos, aunque nuestro peterpanismo nos lo intente impedir a toda costa.

Bueno, pues siempre, en Navidad, leo cosas que escribió Gloria y que me encantan.

Ahí van algunos de mis “reflexiones-poesías-pensamientos” favoritos.

“El amor todo lo soporta.

El amor siempre va con el perdón a cuestas, con el corazón en la mano, con la verdad en la boca, con el beso en los ojos, con la ternura en el llanto.

El amor tiene vocación de santo, pero no pasa de mártir.”

“Cuando el amor nos hiere, parece el principio del fin y es sólo el fin del principio.

Cuando el amor hiere así... ¡cómo herirá el odio!”

“Aunque en los milagros no creas, milagro es que suceda lo que deseas.”

“Diplomado en amor

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te nombrará el aire, cuando tus manos aprendan a besar (a alguien) sin necesidad de acariciarle.”

“Tengo miedo a morir sin haber amado bastante.”

“Hay personas capaces de enamorarse y otras que no. ¡Pobre de la persona que se enamora de una que no!”

“Quiero encerrarme en tus brazos para tener libertad” ¿No son geniales? Volver a leerlos es una de las mejores maneras que conozco de acabar un año..felices fiestas..got leche?

FairyScopes

ARIES (March 20 – April 19): You may be too eager to get ahead, creating discord among co-workers. It may take some effort to keep an open mind and ears to match. If it seems people don’t hear what you’re saying, try saying it softer and listening harder.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): Focus on how your personal goals can serve the world at large. Keep your critical urges constructive and focused on yourself. How can you improve techniques at work & play to better your life & others’?

GEMINI (May 21- June 20): Much as you want to fix things at home you may be better off out with your friends, especially doing some community work. If you really need to deal with hypercritical attitudes in your family, target one is in your mirror.

CANCER (June 21- July 22): Feeling watched, you may push and work too hard to appear – and more importantly, to feel – in control. Be on top of the job, not on top of your co-workers. Listen to them and remember you’re all on the same team.

LEO (July 23 – August 22): Being a drama queen is indeed entertaining to others, but not in the way you want. There are better ways to deal with your worries. Focus! A mature, sensible voice is at hand with any help you need.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22): Though you feel like you’re on a treadmill, struggling to keep up, worrying never helps. Put your imagination to better use.

Lessons from your family will help and can be a springboard toward new inspiration.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22): Be very careful what you say to whom. Be alert to hidden enemies. Carelessness in conversations can create more. An air of creative mystery can get you into a torrid affair. It probably won’t last, but enjoy it while it does.

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): You’re feeling feisty, ambitious and sharp; maybe a little too sharp. To avoid counterproductive arguments, keep your mind on what’s important in the long run.

Getting bogged down in irrelevant battles is a great way to lose the war.

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SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20): Heed those weird inspirations and hunches that suggest new job opportunities. Of course you have to check them out with solid info, but take those steps!

Taking up a new sport will help you keep fit mentally as well as physically.

CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19): Everyone’s worried about money these days, but your bleak vision of the future is more accurate than most. Opportunities can still be found. Trust your intuition. It’s not cynical if you bring others up with you.

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): Feeling unsure of what you believe can be a healthy step toward deeper, surer convictions. Take this as a learning opportunity: keep an open mind; listen to different opinions. Then take some quiet time alone to sort it out.

PISCES (February 19 – March 19): Sexual frustration can reveal spiritual needs more than any lack of quantity or technical skill.

If you can’t be with the one you truly love, take time out to focus on those deeper needs.

Bitch! Session

Bum Bum Bum… another one bites the dust! #NewtGingrich This last week AT&T proved yet again they are the worst cellular provider in the nation. A blanket wide coverage blackout in Midtown/Downtown – because of WIND? Get with the program!

It’s a relief that I can safely turn on my radio or go into a store and not hear anymore Christmas music because Rudolf was about to get shot.

Nothing like an old high school crush finding you & friending you on Facebook because he needs cows or a watering can for his Farmville.

First that jerk cut me off in traffic, then he stole my parking space, and then his stupid car got paint on my key!

Hold up, people still buy PT Cruisers? Why? Are they trying to prove to the world they still have daddy issues and want to be a social outcast?

To Brushstrokes: Love your New Years Resolutions!!

My New Years Resolution is to explore more fetishes and buy more leather.

I can’t wait to go to my already overcrowded gym next week to watch a bunch of newbie’s pretend they know what they are doing.

I can’t stand my business partner.

Somebody please help me.

2011 was a great year for me, I met new people, got a job promotion, and everything seemed to fall into place for me. After several years where I was down on my luck, it was incredible. Not only does it get better, but after you have been down and broken, the smallest things are even more special. Can’t wait for 2012!

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Gotta Bitch?

text

or

404.969.BTCH

email

aka

404.969.2824

bitch@davidatlanta.com People should pay it forward this year! If you have money and resources and see hard working dedicated minds, help build them up. We need more LGBT young leaders!

Bitches need to stop judging me. Just because I walk in wearin’ Dior and Gucci don’t mean that it was given to me – I work for my s**t! What do you do for your stuff?

I’m finally over it! Five years in, and you still can’t do anything nice for me! Your ass is in the wind in 2012!

I finally figured out that Facebook is the Great Big Passive Aggressive Machine ‑ just like Bitch! You can complain about that jerk friend of yours without mentioning a name… hope they get the message!

So tired of you telling me what to do, like you’re the boss! You can’t even do the things YOU SAY you’re gonna do!

Sucks to see Poster Hut close. We are losing our LGBT landscape! Lets use 2012 to fight back!

People sit here and bitch about their clothes, their cars, their friends stealing their men, and all sorts of other RIDICULOUS things however they forget people in our LGBT community are hungry, homeless, and needing help. Don’t forget about them just because the holidays are over.

If good things come to those who wait, I must be about to win the lottery.

I think its stupid when you tell the shoe person what size shoe you wear, and they bring you a smaller size. Uhm, yeah because my foot shrunk while you were in the backroom.